November 1, 2021 • 42 mins
In this episode we talk all things about our ex’s…
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Bumped Us is a production of I Heart Radio. Hello everyone,
we're rolling into the podcast right now. We were just
like talking and cracking jokes for a while, so I
don't even know. It feels like we're already in the
middle of the little intro right now. But anyway, my
name is Gabriel. Welcome back to the prompt this podcast.
I'm here with the boys. The boys chat and Zach.
That was it was this for the boys. Listen, it's
(00:24):
not that was. That's not our rule. The Lord made
that one up right. Sabbath. Yeah, he made the Sabbath
for a reason because it was for the boys, all right.
He wanted to hang with the homies. Take this blood,
take this this bread, my body of life, and break
it with the boys. What day of the week do
you think the Passover was? No? Wait not, what day
of the week do you think the last Supper was on? Dude?
(00:46):
It was on a Saturday. It wasn't on a Saturday?
Was it? According to East Thursday? Right? Well that's according
to like Good Friday. Yeah, but that's different every year.
We don't actually you know what I mean, you don't
like actually no? Okay, oh my gosh. So to make
up for the last two weeks of tears and laughs
(01:08):
of just talking about our own lives, we decided to
do a speed round with several prompts. Are you boys ready?
So guess what this title is going to be? Like
a novel. This title is gonna be like deal with failure?
Should I have sex with that person? Ship? It's just
like there's like fourteen titles in this one. We'll give
you a quick answer to that second one. Hey, Zach,
you gotta fix your hair. I'm not gonna let you
(01:29):
just stay in that YouTube video like that. I got you, Sam.
I'm that guy that will let you know if you
have something in your teeth. By the way, dude, are
you guys like that? Did you get good teeth? Okay? Thanks?
I've got to tell someone if they got something in
the nose or something, you know, like he picks it
for them. Get you bad? Zach? Just doing this like
here you got something? You got something here? App I
(01:50):
just bought it for precision. Here You're like, wait, it's
not coming out. He just kisses somebody. Wait, are we
all I'm just realizing this. We're all wearing my my product.
Very When you start a movement, the boys have to
earn it. You're the only You're the you're the odd
(02:10):
man out, Zack, You're in there. I'm a Deep Cut fan,
but still belongs. I'm a Deep Cut fan, right you
are doing the music match, so it's like new it's
like the oh you've got New Earth here. It's pretty.
But I'm a deep Cup. You're you're like a few
layers and initiate to anyone who just putting you with
because I'm gonna buy it as well. But it's like
(02:31):
almost fully sold out. And that's why I'm still aware.
It's crazy. Everyone's like, why aren't you when this might
because they're all sold Like why aren't you giving to
your friends? And because I don't have any everyone bought it.
Literally at the time this recording, it's probably all gone.
I mean at the time of when this goes, it's gone.
It's fully gone. Where will you be in three weeks?
Where will I be in three weeks? And zac what
(02:53):
would you be doing in three weeks? And where I'm
being Because it would be fun to kind of see
when we re listen this in three weeks that we
be fun to see where we actually are interesting, So
I will oh, so people will know this, but I
will have what people will know this by then I
will have been back from the Austin Formula one race
that was on my birthday. It's on race day is October,
(03:15):
my birthday. It's adream So I it was one of
those things where I was like, it's my first year
of being a proper F one lunatic. Stand Yes, so
I have, and it's on the one race in the
US this year happens to be on my birthday. I
have to go. It's it was meant to be. Talk
(03:36):
about walking in God's calleaging I know, right, Oh my gosh,
I knew. I knew I was supposed to start my
F one gaming channel. You just confirmed it from me, Chad.
I'm walking the steps of the Lord. You're driving the
wheels of the Lord. I'm Jesus take I'm just driving
in his calling. Yes, yes, I wonder that track would
(03:58):
be like the best track ever, the compilation of all
the other twenty two tracks that it just makes. It
takes the best part of each one. It makes one
ultimate track that'd be pretty sick. It's like Rainbow Road,
the Ultimate. It's literally Rainbow Road. Yeah, it's literally take
all the tracks, take the best parts to combine them all,
and then no barriers, no barriers, no barriers, just cliffs
(04:21):
on every Okay, well, that that took a hard turn, Zack.
How about you in three weeks, uh, three weeks from now? Gosh, dude,
getting ready for Christmas. That was so good. That's the
(04:41):
most wholesome thing ever. Oh my god. Because I have
no idea, dude, I feel like my life right now
is a very weakended time. Um, I don't know. I
have goals and stuff I want to achieve by then.
I really want to crack ten kilometers run all right?
Can you translate that? You mean like ten colom otters
in one go? Yes, yes, because right now I've got
(05:04):
to eight and it's like six miles in something. For
everyone who doesn't know kilometers, it would be pretty close. Yeah. Yeah,
so we'll get there. Because Cracked five was really proud
of five, I'm doing it in steps right, five K
then obviously steps K. Yeah, I'm doing it literally insteads
So wait, hold on literally one ft in front of
(05:26):
the other. Should you make a with your future self
right now to see how far you're actually go to run? Done?
Future Zach ten kilometers at least then, but wait, hold on,
what do you have to do if you don't have
to the New Earth collection? Okay, have to spend all
your all your money buying the just one hat left? Done? Done? Yeah,
(05:48):
I'll buy the remaining stock, the whole thing. But he
just gets a restock in. It was like it was easy.
I just had to submit my email for the restock.
But wait, Zach, you seriously you're gonna give yourself a challenge? Yeah?
I think, well, yeah, I mean give all take My
challenge for the New Year in January February is to
do a half marathon. So I actually have to be
(06:10):
able to do tank clones because I've got to double
that in a few days. So if you don't make it,
if you don't make it, you have to sleep outside
for one night and you've logged it. That's a that's
a great video he've done. He's gonna do it anyways,
Sleeping in my backyard is great, and he takes scal
and do the title surviving twenty four hours in my backyard.
(06:35):
Tory and I will be in Dallas, um, I think
in three weeks from now, so we're actually gonna be
at a marriage conference where we're like doing like speaking.
We're not speaking yet, but that will come February next year.
This is like where we start hustling that side of things.
We just signed with U t A did speaking engagement.
So as they say in the Mastermind group, just trying
(06:58):
to level up. Dude, Daddy's making moves, trying to man Wow.
All right on that note, day, you ready for some prompts.
Let's spit some fire, all right, big dog Gabe. The
first one actually, which is cool because I recognized the name,
which is a subtle flex on upset with it. She
was actually one of our Thrive Bible winners. This girl,
I recognize the name who submitted to prompt very nice.
(07:21):
I have a hard time saying her name, so I'm
gonna say Rachel, uh Stephen, but she's from Bangalore, India
and it's Raya Rachel. All right. How do you deal
with failure? How do you deal with failure? See? Just
a quick one to start off with. Just pump this
one out real quick. I mean I have I have
(07:42):
a pretty quick answer for it, just because I feel
like there's been something that I've been dealing with. Yeah,
I don't know as I've been kind of like going
through these pains of a lot of different changes and
shifts that and if you listen to the last two podcasts,
you kind of will get a better context for what
those things are. But I'm not gonna go two hours
(08:03):
straight about talking about myself again. So um, a lot
of these things that I'm trying to work through and
changes that are happening and shifts that are happening, and
it it feels like you mentioned chad Um in the
last podcast of like beating your head against a brick wall,
just like trying to break through it um and just
feeling like I'm not doing the things the right way
(08:24):
and I'm failing and I'm just like not capable, you
know what I had to understand in the moment, and
it legit took me several weeks to finally get into
this mindset, but I I then finally became thankful for
the trials I was going through, in the failures I
was going through, because it allowed me, or I know,
(08:48):
it's allowing me to learn and to grow and to
develop the skill sets and collect the tools to overcome
these challenges that I otherwise wouldn't be capable of. Overcoming,
you know what I mean, Like, you're no one ever
succeeded without failure prior to their successes, you know what
(09:10):
I mean. So knowing that, like, Okay, this is something
I've never been able to tackle before. I've never specifically
like the YouTube stuff, right, I've never understood how to
how to analyze my my backend analytics and really know
what's happening in the algorithm and how to optimize my
content all this stuff. And I still don't know how,
(09:31):
and it sucks and I'm failing at it because I
don't know what I'm doing, but I'm learning. And the
only way I'm going to actually succeed at this is
to push through this and and overcome and not quit.
Isn't it so hard to like detach yourselves emotionally, detach
yourself emotionally from it, Because I remember I had this.
(09:53):
I had this thought one day where you know, I
studied marketing and psychology in school, and so I love
why we do what we do. And remember I was
talking an overdriver one time, this is years ago, and
I was explaining to him something about, you know, psychology,
and I was like, yeah, just because you understand marketing
and psychology doesn't mean it doesn't impact you. That doesn't
mean I don't drive buy and see a billboard or
commercial and still feel an impulse to buy. I just
(10:16):
understand why it's happening. And so when it comes to
you and looking into analytics and and trying to digest
information to make a good decision, how do you detach
your emotions from it? Because obviously, you know there's times
with me, even there's been there's been times where I
should make better financial decisions, but I'm afraid to check
(10:36):
my bank account because I don't want. I don't want
to take that l I know it's going to hurt me,
to see, right, And so how do you detach yourself
emotionally that way you don't that failure doesn't hurt you,
but it propels you. Yeah, I mean I think it's
it's kind of like detaching yourself mentally or like theoretically
in a way to to really analyze the situation from
(10:58):
the third person to realize, like, oh this, what is
this moment actually? Like like what what is presenting itself?
Like what opportunity is presenting itself in this moment? You
know what I mean? And the opportunity for me was
to really finally learn how to like optimize content and
all this stuff and and like read all the analytics
(11:21):
and know the back end and all this stuff. And
it has led me on a point to like seek
out mentors and seek out you know, And I'm getting
to a point where I'm like taking these steps where
I'm like so excited for the future, even though technically,
from like a numbers point, I'm kind of failing. But
if your goal is to do better than you're winning, yes, exactly.
(11:44):
If my if a lot of the things that I'm
like kind of setting up and I'm like aiming towards
are all happening because I'm experiencing these failures now, but
where I'm going to be because of these failures is
way farther than where I was before, you know what
I mean. So it's kind of just like removing yourself
from the situation and analyzing it. I mean, I don't
(12:06):
know though, because it's tough to remove your emotions from
it and look at it in that way. So I'm
not entirely sure. I think it's just a mindset thing,
right of knowing of like reminding yourself like wait, wait, wait,
I don't need to be kind of like taking that
time breathe. These emotions are happening and they're real, but
they are not defining, defining me or defining the situation
(12:30):
and its entirety, you know what I mean. And it's
crazy how we have those mental attacks too. I don't
know if you ever have the sack, but I have
them all the time, when it's like a slippery slope
that whenever something starts to fail, you just go on
this slippery slope of like I suck, I'm terrible, I'll
never mount it, you know. You just then you're like
you wait, you hit your head and you're like, wait,
(12:51):
where am I versus realizing, oh wait, wait a second pause,
this is not the full context of my failure right now. Right, Yes,
the numbers are saying something. However, if I look at
the gauge of my success by by my growth, that
I'm actually winning, not not growth in like numbers, but
growth and understanding of something exactly, dude. And for me,
(13:12):
it's funny that you say that because I had to
realize Dude exacts like he just he just crunched really
hardacts like all right, and stop recording anyway. The reason
why it was funny that you say that is because
I like with what I'm experiencing. It was like, specifically,
(13:37):
my YouTube channel is going through some tough like figuring
it out moments, right, But on the other side of
the coin, those struggles have allowed me to kind of
look at my entire schedule, look at my entire week,
and create a format within my calendar that it makes
me so And this is like we can if you
(13:59):
listen to the last a podcast, you will get a
better understanding of this. But that is kind of like
the catalyst of what caused me to completely look at
the way I was operating from week to week and
how to create a sustainable version of my week so
I can actually like maintain all the things that I'm
working on. But then also like that happened, and I'm
so happy that that happened, But that wouldn't have happened
(14:21):
if YouTube wasn't a big pain in the butt for
me right now, not that it's a big pain in
the butt, but the quote unquote failure part of like
it not doing as well for me, and then like
new Worth just hadn't launch and it did so well,
and you know, I'm so happy with it and like
that's a huge w you know what I mean. And
then um, just like Jess and I with our videos
(14:45):
and stuff, like, things are still going great, things are
still going well. You know that's dub and just like
I can like list a bunch of things that are like, oh,
these things are still going great. But what are you
focusing on. If I'm only focusing on the struggles that
I'm having with like growing on my personal YouTube channel,
then yeah, I'm gonna just be looking at this giant,
(15:07):
big f right in front of me. But if I
turned my head and look at all the winds that
I'm having, it's like, oh, okay, there's more than just
the failure that I'm having. But even that failure itself,
it's causing so much growth in other places. Yeah, it's
it's like in dirt by gracing, there's this rule where
if you look at the tree, you're gonna hit it.
And I know I know that from experience, by the
(15:28):
way a lot like broken bones everything, and so it
is kind of interesting where you know, you go where
you put your focus, and you put your focus on
the mindset of I'm failing, then that's where you know
your heart's gonna follow that, and so we do have
to be careful there. I want to throw to Zak
in a sec. But there's a quote that I saw
once which was um, fail early, fail often, and fail forward.
(15:52):
I thought that was kind of cool because I feel
like there's such a derogatory hint a longside failure. It's like, oh,
f failed, right, like you did not pass. And it's
also like, but wait a second, like you know, you
know how much I've learned from failure, you know what
I mean. It's the greatest teacher, you know. And it's
(16:13):
just like wait a second, like you either win or
you learn, and you don't have to use that word
failure so heavily in our life because it's like, okay,
well now I'm one percent closer to where I want
to go because now I learned something. I mean, the
reality is you fail when you quit, You miss the
shots you don't take. Wayne Gretzky, Michael Scott. There we go, yeah, dude,
(16:38):
I mean back up, I don't even have much to add.
I'm holding. It was like I was like, what are
you waving around right now? Dude? I'm just got like
two clamps. They're kind of be like a day stress
though it's actually great. What am I gonna say? What
are the boys gonna ask me? Right now? However? So,
like I was just thinking that everything you're saying, I
(16:59):
don't want to too much, but I do just want
to say that. Like, so, Chad something said something in
the previous podcast about, um, you know, are you putting
your happiness in whether you're achieving or not? And I
guess failure for me is like, oh, I'm not achieving.
So it's kind of a bit black and white. But
I just had to go, oh, I'm happy outside of
my work just and like fully, even if I was
(17:21):
doing a job that I hate, would I still be
happy outside of my work? And so yeah, I don't
really have a lot to add. But then how about this,
because you just copt out of that answer, how about
how about this, Zack? What is love? Baby? Don't hurt me?
What is love after the honeymoon phase? Who is this from?
(17:42):
This is from Sabrina from Singapore, So this is the
next the next prompt, Next prompt? What is love after
the honeymoon phase? Love is a deep friendship and willingness
and longing to want to get to know that other persons. Wait, wait, wait,
can you repeat the question one more time? I was
(18:03):
focused on singing the song. Well, Zach just crushed that answers,
and you're ready to resay that answer. We're gonna play
the single. Jeu. Dude, I don't know if I'm good
at fine you you nailed it. I was just being
a dufe and wasn't listening to a dufe adufs. I
don't know. I was trying to find a word, and
it just came all right, I'm gonna read this prompt
and don't entrust me game. I'm listening. I feel like
(18:24):
you're gonna start singing the song. Is that what you're
doing this? I'm going to sing this song. You're really tempting.
You had that look in your eye. What is love?
Legit wasn't going to do it until you said it.
You had that look though I didn't. I didn't kid, Okay,
(18:44):
what is love? After the honeymoon phase? And they put
parentheses or that they put quotes, so obviously you know
I don't believe the honeymoon phase, but Zach, go ahead, yes, yeah,
but if it was a honeymoon phase, I think of
the honeymoon phase love is what did I say? It
was super good? It was. Yeah. The deep yearning is
a good word, the deep yearning and longing to want
(19:05):
to understand that person more deeply. Like it's so it's
like not that honeymoon phases surface, but it's just the
tip of the iceberg. I don't know, man, every day
with Chelsea is such a new journey of wanting to
understand each other. Doesn't mean that's easy, but like I
am she I'm the closest with her than anyone else
in my life, you know, And so that's flipping incredible.
(19:27):
And so to me, that's what love is in this context,
which is like a partner love. I guess right, Yeah,
I would probably say that love in that context is
the choice of commitment. Yeah, because so often, like your
emotions aren't the thing to gauge your actions off of,
(19:51):
you know what I mean, But it needs to be
your commitment to something. So like if you get in
a fight with your wife or you get in a
fight with your husband, that your emotions in the moment
are not to honor the other person in that in
that situation, but your commitment to the relationship lets you
understand weight it's not me versus you, it's us versus
(20:12):
the situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you need to like
approach yeah, just approaching it with that mindset and understanding
that you are a team and you work together and
you yeah, and and just know it comes down to like,
are we committed to the same thing and are we
on the same page in our commitment to each other,
(20:35):
regardless of whether what my emotions are trying to tell
me or not, you know what I mean? Because if
you everyone's like just follow your heart and this and that,
and it's like, dude, not even what does that mean?
It's just dangerous, But it's just like so dangerous, like
follow your heart. Well, so what if my heart tells
me to punch that person? Yeah? I know what. Yeah,
(20:57):
it's just like your heart and your emotions a lot
of times are telling you. Though it might feel right
in the moment, a lot of times they're they're telling
you some whack things, you know, and it's important to
note what they're saying. But it's important to look at
them in a healthy way because we're not belittling your feelings.
Your feelings are there for a reason, and that's important.
(21:18):
Your feelings are important. However, you need to know when
they're when they're healthy to benefit your life and the
essentially benefit what the end goal is for what you
want and what's fruitful for your community. Yeah, exactly. So
that like, particularly for a relationship, is like the end
goal should be two live the rest of your life
(21:41):
with that person happily and healthily until death. Do this part.
And if that is the goal, me, you know, checking
out other women on Instagram, it's not benefiting that goal,
(22:01):
you know what I mean? And and you can, you know,
whatever me or whoever, put yourself in this situation. If
there's like some X because I know this happens a
lot on Facebook, hits you up again randomly and you
haven't spoken them in years, and then all of a
sudden you have these like crazy thoughts about like oh
(22:23):
what about life with that person? Like emotions might be
rising in that moment, but that's not the healthy you
know what that that's that's not Yeah anyway, I'm kind
of like shopping over my words right now, but you
know what I'm trying to say. I think for me,
first off, I think I love what both you guys said,
and I agree, I guess just a third wing of
(22:43):
it for me would be that to understand that that
deep friendship that Zach was talking about, that deep connection,
and then what you're saying to be on the same team,
even if it's not super romantic, it's so much more
special than the honeymoon phase, because I feel like people
get so twisted where they're just like, oh, I'm just
gonna fall out of love, or what I'm just bored,
or we're not being intimate and all this stuff. Well,
(23:03):
there's so much more than intimate. There's so much more
too intimacy than just sex, right, And people think, honeymoon,
what do you think? Do you think sex? But I
felt so much closer to Tori when she's accepted me
my lowest times, and I feel so much closer to
her whenever we're having a fight and we choose each
other over making each other enemies, we choose to support
(23:24):
each other and love each other versus make make make
enemies out of lovers. Right, And then that that friendship
that we've built through growing through what we go through
has just made us have such a deeper respect and
in connection with each other that the honeymoon phase pales
in comparison. It's so easy to love someone when things
(23:45):
are great, inconvenient for you. It's so Yeah, it's so
easy to be intimate when you're at a bungalow and
bora bora. That's really simple. Like, that's so easy. We
know it's difficult because whenever someone's going through a dark
time and you're trying to support them and you don't
know how to help them, and then everything you're doing
(24:05):
is wrong. I'm not speaking from my experience. I'm just
sharing like, when you choose to love somebody, that's difficult,
but that's powerful and that's deep. Dude. That was That
was like, I'm not speaking from experience. That was like
me going like when it X hits you up on
Facebook and I'm just like, my ex has never hit
me up on Facebook, but you did. But I'm like,
that's I was like from anyone, if anyone's experience, it
(24:31):
wasn't me, I swear, and I didn't do it. All right, boys,
are you ready for the next one? Uh, Let's let's
keep this one quick and let's try to knock out
like four more if we can four more? Well, like,
but let's keep them quick though, Speed around, speed around,
all right, I'm gonna pitch this one of the big
old Gabby over there. All right, I'm right here. How
do you deal with heartbreak? How do you deal with heartbreak?
(24:56):
I mean, dude, it was honestly, when I went through heartbreak,
it was so tough. But honestly, I think I really
did it. I didn't tease myself to make it last
a really long time, if that makes sense. I kind
of like cut it off at the source, and I
was like, I'm not teasing the idea of being a
(25:18):
relationship with this person anymore. It ends like this is
the point where it's done, and I'm not going to
like entertain the idea anymore. I'm not going to try
and be friends with this person because that's over and
done and it will just make life extremely difficult for me.
(25:38):
And I'm going to try and a huge lesson right there,
by the way, you don't need to be everyone's friend,
especially you don't need to be their friends, like you
have freedom to not be their friend. There's other people.
There's seven and a half billion people. There's other friends exactly.
So UM and I was obviously healthiest for me and her.
UM and I channeled a lot of that energy that
(26:01):
was a time when like vine was still a thing,
and I ended up like channeling a lot of that
energy because I got kind of like there's a season
where I got like kind of lazy and growth slowed
down because I wasn't as during that relationship. I just
wasn't as consistent on social media. But then when that
was over, I was like, no, I need to get
back into it. I need to refocus. And that was
like an outlet that allowed me to really, um channel
(26:24):
like that energy and time into something productive. So and
then obviously like the time healed, the Lord healed, like
it was it was like kind of like a lot
of factors of giving myself the time to heal, creating
the separation in space to heal, relying on the Lord
for my happiness even though like the emotional heartbreak sucks, um,
(26:46):
and then like channeling that energy into something productive and
stuff like that, because if you spend a lot of
especially right after a heartbreak, that if you if you
have a lot of like spare time, the what the
games your mind is gonna do are just like scripture
says idle hands make for the Devil's Workshop. Yeah, so
(27:07):
it's just it's rough man, all right, anyway, so let's
speed around, Jack, do you have a no hit me
with the next question, I'm gonna I'm gonna tepe in
something quick on that is that where you run matters,
Because if you run to clubs and other relationships to
quick what's it called whenever you just get with somebody,
(27:28):
how come you no? But like, um, yeah, if you
go to rebounds, or you go to drinking or just
go to parting or run to social media for affirmation
and likes, that's super unhealthy. But so where you run matters.
You know, like you ran to using your time wisely
versus just doing in your own thoughts. And so if
you are going through heartbreak, I recommend just taking a
(27:49):
mental note. This is gonna suck for upwards between like
three months to a year. It could be longer, could
be less, right, but you need to be protected and
set up boundaries to protect your emotional and state during
that time. And where you run matters. Yeah. Yeah, Mine
was like two to three months of like really really
sucking emotionally crying, like the whole bit, and then then
(28:10):
it was probably like the next like nine months of
like getting over it and the emotions are still there,
but getting over. But I wasn't like traumatized by it,
but it was slowly like going away. It takes time
and you have to take it seriously, just like this
next prompt you're ready, Zack. This one's for you, big
for you, Zach, big dog Zacha. All right. I struggled
(28:31):
to communicate my feelings and just communicating in general. How
do I learn to communicate better? By the way I'm
hand picking these for these boys? Right, dude, you're a legend.
See this is I would say, zactly like you're a legend.
I hate you? Okay, yeah, what a god? Yeah? I
(28:55):
mean some transparencying in my marriage. This is probably one
of the biggest things Chelsea and I struggle it. It's
like I want her to communicate more. She wants me
to be softer in my communication. So like, that is
a great question. Can you read it again, just so
make sure I don't waffle too much. I struggled to me,
I struggled to communicate my feelings and just communicating in general.
How can I learn to communicate better? Good question? All right?
(29:18):
I would say the first thing is that there would
be initially if you're struggling to it, is there some
fear around it. Is there some fear around what you
want to say, or is there just fear around wanting
to talk to someone like, yeah, I guess I want
to know the context. Call the person up right now
on the phone. I want I want to know. But yeah,
I think for me, whenever I've struggled to communicate, it's
(29:39):
out of a fear, out of like I don't want
to upset someone or I don't want to be the
bad guy. And I think maybe when it comes to
hard things, you know, maybe it's someone did something to
you and you just want to let them know, hey,
that sucked. When it comes to those hard things, it's
one of those things where it's like maybe you have
to be a little selfish for a minute and just
let them know hey. But in the same way, if
you've messed up, that means you've of responsibility to communicate
(30:01):
that back. And so yeah, I just think it's analyzing
what what the fear is for communicating if it's it's
like anything And you guys a few episodes, a guy,
Wow that happen? Zack Zack, I just what I like.
(30:25):
A few a few episodes ago, we talked about um
like communicating on camera, and it's very similar to communicating
in person. Um, you just just takes practice. I think
it just takes the initial I should say this or
I should talk to this person, and it's okay to
like over communicate. I'm I'm the first guy to be like, hey,
I'm so sorry, like send a voice note. Sorry. If
(30:47):
I sounded like a bit of a jerk, I didn't,
that's not because dude, literally just like man, I just
I want to let you know that I didn't mean
it like this way. What I meant was just like, dude,
you're good, Like I understand. But the over communication over
communication is good though, and like in this scenario where
(31:08):
something might be wrong, over communicating is better than under communicating.
So so something that helps me with communicating and this
is really hard for people who struggle with confidence, was
who struggle with confrontation and conflict. And so I'm not
soone who glorifies it. But I also I'm not afraid
of it because I always want to get to a
(31:29):
place where we do better, you know. And so something
that helps me communicate is where I like I have
to know the person's listening and if they're on their phone,
I don't mind waiting, and Tori get so frustrated, but
in a funny way, She's like, maybe I can still
listen to you. I'm like, no, I don't mind waiting
until and then, like I also, I like eye contact
a lot, and I will wait until she listen to
(31:49):
me right And then I'll also make aggressive. I just
wish that there was a hidden camera in that situation. Yeah,
and I literally, so I'll open the conversation. I'll say this,
I'm like, hey, are you busy right now? And she's
like no, why, But then she stays looking at her phone.
I'm like, oh, I can I can ask you in
a few minutes. You know, I'm not that's fine, I'm
not worried here. She's like no, I'm I'm free right now.
(32:11):
I'm like, oh, you're noted. And then so I do
the whole thing where I'm like Zach, where I want
to over communicate, where I'm just like, hey, by the way,
like did you I just want to make sure you
fully understood what I was saying, you know, like you
don't have to repeat it back to me. I'm not
It's not like I'm treating someone like a child. But
I just I know that miscommunication destroys everything, like literally,
(32:32):
it's why some conversations something back it does. I just
want to make sure that I don't feel like someone's
treated me like a child. If they're like, can you
repeat it back to me, I'm like, no, that's actually good.
I need to make sure I understand, because dude, communication
is the foundation of relationships. If you can't communicate, what
do you have if you have nothing? And so I
love the question this person asked because they if you
(32:54):
can't communicate, you don't have a relationship, because then you're
just existing next to each other. You're not able to
move in unison. In communication helps you move in unison. Yeah. Yeah,
And I just want to add to that before we
jumped to the next one. I just finished UM Seven
Habits of Highly Effective People, So good read it. It's
a banger. UM just to plug use my Amazon affiliately.
(33:17):
He does. He does receive a commission, but there's no
up charge to you. I just finished it in a
big part of the book that really slapped for me was, um,
it's the classic and we all we've all heard a
hundred times, but seek to understand them to be understood
and even in your own communication. If you're frustrated and
angry about something, I need to communicate this with that person.
(33:38):
Always start with understanding where they're coming from first, because
when you go in there with only your context, that's
when you say things that you might regret, or things
that are silly, or question why didn't that person understand?
It's like, well, you didn't actually try and understand them.
I just think, yeah, when you start, when you start
those conversations, and when you truly when you truly, truly, truly, truly,
(34:00):
if you love someone, you care about them, you're trying
to understand them. When you truly do that, then it
kind of diffuses everything immediately. It's kind of like, I
don't know, it just puts it like a fire blanket
over it. So there's already I guess at a level
playing field. I don't know how it has to say that,
but yeah, I found that that's helping me hates. Yeah,
I think it takes like the walking on eggshells away
(34:21):
from it, because there's one thing that you need to
just embrace inside of relationships is that conflict is going
to happen. Confrontation will happen, like you will disagree with
each other and this this is not a terrible thing.
And I think preparing if you're naive to the fact
that it will happen, When it does happen, it's going
to rock your world and then you're gonna be afraid
(34:43):
of it. Yeah, But if you're preparing for an understanding like, Okay,
what are these safeguards that we can put in place
for when things do hit the fan that we can
like best operate in this situation to make the most
of you know, So when you say things, what are
you implying? Sure? All right, so I think we got
time for one more question? Is that cool? Hit us? Chad?
(35:06):
So you answered, Chad? You stopped. I want to hear
your thoughts off. Its not fair. I've been answering everyone. Bro.
You either send them to me or send them to
Zach and then you like add in at the end. Yeah,
because I get it's it's nice. It's nice like bounce
off of an artist conversation. What is the next one? Okay,
(35:26):
the next one, I'll take it fine. The next one
is how do you be yourself with someone that you
like and think about dating? Right? Okay, Zach? What about you?
How do you be. I don't know, honestly, that's I
have a quick answer if you want me to just
throw it out there. Yeah, because I was. What I
was going to say is I don't I've never like
(35:48):
kind of your home school. So it's not the same
for other people. Yeah, because other people have to deal
with other people's impressions of them, right, well, I still
have to deal that. Like when I moved to l A,
I was like, do you only with that? But I don't.
I was dealing with that. And and when I was
young to like, because your brother's insisted, no, no, dude,
(36:09):
I was all the time. Literally, I was at the
school every day, playing sports with a bunch of people.
Now I'm just teasing you, um, but yeah, I mean,
I just I don't know. I feel like I feel
like if I don't vibe with people, like I don't
need to be friends with them. I still care about
them as a person, Like if they reach out and
need me or you know whatever, if something happens, like
(36:31):
I'll be there to help them. But I don't, like,
you don't have to change yourself for it. Yeah, I
don't need to change myself to to like four of them,
you know, so I guess the thing I would quickly
say before zach Uh puts a chair on top and
sends us off into the sunset, is that you know,
I really want to challenge you to be yourself because
if you if you make someone fall in love with
(36:52):
someone you're not, you're gonna live your entire life pretending
to be some when you're not. And you don't want
that baby, you don't want that. It's you're gonna be
miserable your entire life pretending to be someone that you're not.
You're gonna not be walking and who how uniquely, fearfully,
wonderfully God has nitche you in the womb. He made
you this way on purpose. You need to walk in
that feel confident. That's when you get cocky in it.
(37:14):
That means that you're trusting that God made you this
way on purpose. And whenever you deny that, you're denying
that God knit you in the womb and that he
has a purpose for your life, because you're saying, oh,
I should have been different because of someone else, and
you do not. And if someone starts to like you
because of someone you're not, do you want to live
that way for the rest of your life, and then
you have this expectation to meet at all times and
(37:35):
walking on eggshells trying to make it. You know how
special it feels whenever someone likes you for who you are.
Like like the fact that I love anime right and tories.
I'm obsessive Formula one and she's here torn on pilot.
She knows all the songs now right. The fact that
I don't have to hide my little secret like obsessions
like that, and she like embraces me inside of them.
(37:56):
It's so sweet and I feel so loved because I
don't feel like I have to hide things about me.
I can just be like, yeah, no, like this is
this is what I love and she loves me for it.
And I don't like besides sides video games. Yeah, she
will let me do video games, but not not for long. Bro,
that is coming My birthdays next year, dude, my birthdays
(38:18):
next year and the year after and all right, Zach
put a bow tie on it. How the heck do
you want me to fall up on that? I don't understand.
You just like dropped some facts for hey. Is that
guess you like? Knowing that it was so fire? Oh? Man? Look,
(38:40):
I just think do you like yourself honestly, like, do
you like yourself? And if you do, that will give
you a bit of confidence. You know. It's just a
classic like if you love yourself, you'll be able to
love other people. And if exactly what Chad said, if
you're changing yourself to fit in or changing yourself to
be liked, I think you're already starting with a foot
back already, start back first, already starting disadvantage. That worked
(39:03):
out really well. But what would you say for someone
who doesn't like themselves if they said, don't think about it.
We're like, oh, I don't like myself. I'm not happy
with myself. I wow, all right? For me, I used
to just get real emotional about it. It was never
it was just like I just don't like myself, and
that was the be all and end all of the conversation.
(39:23):
And I just think, maybe take the conversation further and
and be real honest with yourself and go, well, why
don't I like myself? And kind of make it a system.
You know we were talking earlier about like not thinking
with your heart but thinking with your head and going, hey,
like not liking yourself, it's probably very much so like
a head battle, but something that's coming from your heart
where you're like, this makes me feel uncomfortable that I
(39:45):
do this. Um. I think for me, it's just about
being open to myself and going, hey, I don't like
that this is a habit that I'm doing. I want
to change that. And so I think it's a long
game process and over time it's Um, it's about really
understand what you're in control of, you know, Like that's
I guess. Yeah, I'm liking myself more and more every
(40:05):
day because I'm applying what I'm learning, and so yeah,
I'm changing my habits in that way. I was a
silly dude. I just want to like myself, Zack, Zack.
I just want to take a second to just be
like Gabe. And I love it whenever he does this
thing where I think he tries to put it on,
but then whenever he gets real, he's like, Okay, I
guess I'm just gonna get real about this. And that's
(40:25):
when you spit the best stuff. Whenever, like we we
want the real like whenever that comes out confidence my guy.
All right, I know it just ends the podcast, Oh gosh,
but it's so true though, Man, it's so true. I
(40:46):
think everyone who listens to the podcast would agree that.
Whenever Zack gets I don't want just say emotional like
in the cricenis, But when he gets real and emotional,
that's when that stuff just like hits so hard because
he's speaking from his own testimony and that's what changes people. Right.
It's like when Jesus spoke in parables. There are stories
about people, right, and whenever you're sharing stories about your
(41:10):
own history, you're like, you know, you're really helping people. Yeah,
I mean it comes with it comes with the awareness
that it's not very structured and it's loose than I
say the wrong words, and so I think that half
of me tries to prevent my brain from just being honest.
So I'm learning. I'm learning that. But again I'm doing
what I can do to learn and to be better
(41:31):
at communicating and to I don't know, and to understand myself.
I want to like myself, no worries, man, you just
fix it in the edit shop content clothing, dut that
that it's not that anymore. Is a ducko, let's go,
I got that right, all right? But yeah, man, I
just think you want to like yourself, Like who doesn't
(41:54):
want to like themselves, and if you don't, if you
don't like yourself, you should really drop a lot of
things right now and start working on that, like seriously,
like that's a priority, that's a that's an urgent and
important type deal. If you listen to the podcasts, you know,
if you know you know, if you know you all right? Anyway,
subscribe yo, what's up guys? Thank you so much for
(42:17):
watching this episode of prompt Us. Make sure to go
to prompt us podcast dot com neument your own prompts
and we will see you in the next one. Prompt
Us is a production of I heart Radio. For more
podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Bumped Us is a production of I Heart Radio. Hello everyone,
we're rolling into the podcast right now. We were just
like talking and cracking jokes for a while, so I
don't even know. It feels like we're already in the
middle of the little intro right now. But anyway, my
name is Gabriel. Welcome back to the prompt this podcast.
I'm here with the boys. The boys chat and Zach.
That was it was this for the boys. Listen, it's
(00:24):
not that was. That's not our rule. The Lord made
that one up right. Sabbath. Yeah, he made the Sabbath
for a reason because it was for the boys, all right.
He wanted to hang with the homies. Take this blood,
take this this bread, my body of life, and break
it with the boys. What day of the week do
you think the Passover was? No? Wait not, what day
of the week do you think the last Supper was on? Dude?
(00:46):
It was on a Saturday. It wasn't on a Saturday?
Was it? According to East Thursday? Right? Well that's according
to like Good Friday. Yeah, but that's different every year.
We don't actually you know what I mean, you don't
like actually no? Okay, oh my gosh. So to make
up for the last two weeks of tears and laughs
(01:08):
of just talking about our own lives, we decided to
do a speed round with several prompts. Are you boys ready?
So guess what this title is going to be? Like
a novel. This title is gonna be like deal with failure?
Should I have sex with that person? Ship? It's just
like there's like fourteen titles in this one. We'll give
you a quick answer to that second one. Hey, Zach,
you gotta fix your hair. I'm not gonna let you
(01:29):
just stay in that YouTube video like that. I got you, Sam.
I'm that guy that will let you know if you
have something in your teeth. By the way, dude, are
you guys like that? Did you get good teeth? Okay? Thanks?
I've got to tell someone if they got something in
the nose or something, you know, like he picks it
for them. Get you bad? Zach? Just doing this like
here you got something? You got something here? App I
(01:50):
just bought it for precision. Here You're like, wait, it's
not coming out. He just kisses somebody. Wait, are we
all I'm just realizing this. We're all wearing my my product.
Very When you start a movement, the boys have to
earn it. You're the only You're the you're the odd
(02:10):
man out, Zack, You're in there. I'm a Deep Cut fan,
but still belongs. I'm a Deep Cut fan, right you
are doing the music match, so it's like new it's
like the oh you've got New Earth here. It's pretty.
But I'm a deep Cup. You're you're like a few
layers and initiate to anyone who just putting you with
because I'm gonna buy it as well. But it's like
(02:31):
almost fully sold out. And that's why I'm still aware.
It's crazy. Everyone's like, why aren't you when this might
because they're all sold Like why aren't you giving to
your friends? And because I don't have any everyone bought it.
Literally at the time this recording, it's probably all gone.
I mean at the time of when this goes, it's gone.
It's fully gone. Where will you be in three weeks?
Where will I be in three weeks? And zac what
(02:53):
would you be doing in three weeks? And where I'm
being Because it would be fun to kind of see
when we re listen this in three weeks that we
be fun to see where we actually are interesting, So
I will oh, so people will know this, but I
will have what people will know this by then I
will have been back from the Austin Formula one race
that was on my birthday. It's on race day is October,
(03:15):
my birthday. It's adream So I it was one of
those things where I was like, it's my first year
of being a proper F one lunatic. Stand Yes, so
I have, and it's on the one race in the
US this year happens to be on my birthday. I
have to go. It's it was meant to be. Talk
(03:36):
about walking in God's calleaging I know, right, Oh my gosh,
I knew. I knew I was supposed to start my
F one gaming channel. You just confirmed it from me, Chad.
I'm walking the steps of the Lord. You're driving the
wheels of the Lord. I'm Jesus take I'm just driving
in his calling. Yes, yes, I wonder that track would
(03:58):
be like the best track ever, the compilation of all
the other twenty two tracks that it just makes. It
takes the best part of each one. It makes one
ultimate track that'd be pretty sick. It's like Rainbow Road,
the Ultimate. It's literally Rainbow Road. Yeah, it's literally take
all the tracks, take the best parts to combine them all,
and then no barriers, no barriers, no barriers, just cliffs
(04:21):
on every Okay, well, that that took a hard turn, Zack.
How about you in three weeks, uh, three weeks from now? Gosh, dude,
getting ready for Christmas. That was so good. That's the
(04:41):
most wholesome thing ever. Oh my god. Because I have
no idea, dude, I feel like my life right now
is a very weakended time. Um, I don't know. I
have goals and stuff I want to achieve by then.
I really want to crack ten kilometers run all right?
Can you translate that? You mean like ten colom otters
in one go? Yes, yes, because right now I've got
(05:04):
to eight and it's like six miles in something. For
everyone who doesn't know kilometers, it would be pretty close. Yeah. Yeah,
so we'll get there. Because Cracked five was really proud
of five, I'm doing it in steps right, five K
then obviously steps K. Yeah, I'm doing it literally insteads
So wait, hold on literally one ft in front of
(05:26):
the other. Should you make a with your future self
right now to see how far you're actually go to run? Done?
Future Zach ten kilometers at least then, but wait, hold on,
what do you have to do if you don't have
to the New Earth collection? Okay, have to spend all
your all your money buying the just one hat left? Done? Done? Yeah,
(05:48):
I'll buy the remaining stock, the whole thing. But he
just gets a restock in. It was like it was easy.
I just had to submit my email for the restock.
But wait, Zach, you seriously you're gonna give yourself a challenge? Yeah?
I think, well, yeah, I mean give all take My
challenge for the New Year in January February is to
do a half marathon. So I actually have to be
(06:10):
able to do tank clones because I've got to double
that in a few days. So if you don't make it,
if you don't make it, you have to sleep outside
for one night and you've logged it. That's a that's
a great video he've done. He's gonna do it anyways,
Sleeping in my backyard is great, and he takes scal
and do the title surviving twenty four hours in my backyard.
(06:35):
Tory and I will be in Dallas, um, I think
in three weeks from now, so we're actually gonna be
at a marriage conference where we're like doing like speaking.
We're not speaking yet, but that will come February next year.
This is like where we start hustling that side of things.
We just signed with U t A did speaking engagement.
So as they say in the Mastermind group, just trying
(06:58):
to level up. Dude, Daddy's making moves, trying to man Wow.
All right on that note, day, you ready for some prompts.
Let's spit some fire, all right, big dog Gabe. The
first one actually, which is cool because I recognized the name,
which is a subtle flex on upset with it. She
was actually one of our Thrive Bible winners. This girl,
I recognize the name who submitted to prompt very nice.
(07:21):
I have a hard time saying her name, so I'm
gonna say Rachel, uh Stephen, but she's from Bangalore, India
and it's Raya Rachel. All right. How do you deal
with failure? How do you deal with failure? See? Just
a quick one to start off with. Just pump this
one out real quick. I mean I have I have
(07:42):
a pretty quick answer for it, just because I feel
like there's been something that I've been dealing with. Yeah,
I don't know as I've been kind of like going
through these pains of a lot of different changes and
shifts that and if you listen to the last two podcasts,
you kind of will get a better context for what
those things are. But I'm not gonna go two hours
(08:03):
straight about talking about myself again. So um, a lot
of these things that I'm trying to work through and
changes that are happening and shifts that are happening, and
it it feels like you mentioned chad Um in the
last podcast of like beating your head against a brick wall,
just like trying to break through it um and just
feeling like I'm not doing the things the right way
(08:24):
and I'm failing and I'm just like not capable, you
know what I had to understand in the moment, and
it legit took me several weeks to finally get into
this mindset, but I I then finally became thankful for
the trials I was going through, in the failures I
was going through, because it allowed me, or I know,
(08:48):
it's allowing me to learn and to grow and to
develop the skill sets and collect the tools to overcome
these challenges that I otherwise wouldn't be capable of. Overcoming,
you know what I mean, Like, you're no one ever
succeeded without failure prior to their successes, you know what
(09:10):
I mean. So knowing that, like, Okay, this is something
I've never been able to tackle before. I've never specifically
like the YouTube stuff, right, I've never understood how to
how to analyze my my backend analytics and really know
what's happening in the algorithm and how to optimize my
content all this stuff. And I still don't know how,
(09:31):
and it sucks and I'm failing at it because I
don't know what I'm doing, but I'm learning. And the
only way I'm going to actually succeed at this is
to push through this and and overcome and not quit.
Isn't it so hard to like detach yourselves emotionally, detach
yourself emotionally from it, Because I remember I had this.
(09:53):
I had this thought one day where you know, I
studied marketing and psychology in school, and so I love
why we do what we do. And remember I was
talking an overdriver one time, this is years ago, and
I was explaining to him something about, you know, psychology,
and I was like, yeah, just because you understand marketing
and psychology doesn't mean it doesn't impact you. That doesn't
mean I don't drive buy and see a billboard or
commercial and still feel an impulse to buy. I just
(10:16):
understand why it's happening. And so when it comes to
you and looking into analytics and and trying to digest
information to make a good decision, how do you detach
your emotions from it? Because obviously, you know there's times
with me, even there's been there's been times where I
should make better financial decisions, but I'm afraid to check
(10:36):
my bank account because I don't want. I don't want
to take that l I know it's going to hurt me,
to see, right, And so how do you detach yourself
emotionally that way you don't that failure doesn't hurt you,
but it propels you. Yeah, I mean I think it's
it's kind of like detaching yourself mentally or like theoretically
in a way to to really analyze the situation from
(10:58):
the third person to realize, like, oh this, what is
this moment actually? Like like what what is presenting itself?
Like what opportunity is presenting itself in this moment? You
know what I mean? And the opportunity for me was
to really finally learn how to like optimize content and
all this stuff and and like read all the analytics
(11:21):
and know the back end and all this stuff. And
it has led me on a point to like seek
out mentors and seek out you know, And I'm getting
to a point where I'm like taking these steps where
I'm like so excited for the future, even though technically,
from like a numbers point, I'm kind of failing. But
if your goal is to do better than you're winning, yes, exactly.
(11:44):
If my if a lot of the things that I'm
like kind of setting up and I'm like aiming towards
are all happening because I'm experiencing these failures now, but
where I'm going to be because of these failures is
way farther than where I was before, you know what
I mean. So it's kind of just like removing yourself
from the situation and analyzing it. I mean, I don't
(12:06):
know though, because it's tough to remove your emotions from
it and look at it in that way. So I'm
not entirely sure. I think it's just a mindset thing,
right of knowing of like reminding yourself like wait, wait, wait,
I don't need to be kind of like taking that
time breathe. These emotions are happening and they're real, but
they are not defining, defining me or defining the situation
(12:30):
and its entirety, you know what I mean. And it's
crazy how we have those mental attacks too. I don't
know if you ever have the sack, but I have
them all the time, when it's like a slippery slope
that whenever something starts to fail, you just go on
this slippery slope of like I suck, I'm terrible, I'll
never mount it, you know. You just then you're like
you wait, you hit your head and you're like, wait,
(12:51):
where am I versus realizing, oh wait, wait a second pause,
this is not the full context of my failure right now. Right, Yes,
the numbers are saying something. However, if I look at
the gauge of my success by by my growth, that
I'm actually winning, not not growth in like numbers, but
growth and understanding of something exactly, dude. And for me,
(13:12):
it's funny that you say that because I had to
realize Dude exacts like he just he just crunched really
hardacts like all right, and stop recording anyway. The reason
why it was funny that you say that is because
I like with what I'm experiencing. It was like, specifically,
(13:37):
my YouTube channel is going through some tough like figuring
it out moments, right, But on the other side of
the coin, those struggles have allowed me to kind of
look at my entire schedule, look at my entire week,
and create a format within my calendar that it makes
me so And this is like we can if you
(13:59):
listen to the last a podcast, you will get a
better understanding of this. But that is kind of like
the catalyst of what caused me to completely look at
the way I was operating from week to week and
how to create a sustainable version of my week so
I can actually like maintain all the things that I'm
working on. But then also like that happened, and I'm
so happy that that happened, But that wouldn't have happened
(14:21):
if YouTube wasn't a big pain in the butt for
me right now, not that it's a big pain in
the butt, but the quote unquote failure part of like
it not doing as well for me, and then like
new Worth just hadn't launch and it did so well,
and you know, I'm so happy with it and like
that's a huge w you know what I mean. And
then um, just like Jess and I with our videos
(14:45):
and stuff, like, things are still going great, things are
still going well. You know that's dub and just like
I can like list a bunch of things that are like, oh,
these things are still going great. But what are you
focusing on. If I'm only focusing on the struggles that
I'm having with like growing on my personal YouTube channel,
then yeah, I'm gonna just be looking at this giant,
(15:07):
big f right in front of me. But if I
turned my head and look at all the winds that
I'm having, it's like, oh, okay, there's more than just
the failure that I'm having. But even that failure itself,
it's causing so much growth in other places. Yeah, it's
it's like in dirt by gracing, there's this rule where
if you look at the tree, you're gonna hit it.
And I know I know that from experience, by the
(15:28):
way a lot like broken bones everything, and so it
is kind of interesting where you know, you go where
you put your focus, and you put your focus on
the mindset of I'm failing, then that's where you know
your heart's gonna follow that, and so we do have
to be careful there. I want to throw to Zak
in a sec. But there's a quote that I saw
once which was um, fail early, fail often, and fail forward.
(15:52):
I thought that was kind of cool because I feel
like there's such a derogatory hint a longside failure. It's like, oh,
f failed, right, like you did not pass. And it's
also like, but wait a second, like you know, you
know how much I've learned from failure, you know what
I mean. It's the greatest teacher, you know. And it's
(16:13):
just like wait a second, like you either win or
you learn, and you don't have to use that word
failure so heavily in our life because it's like, okay,
well now I'm one percent closer to where I want
to go because now I learned something. I mean, the
reality is you fail when you quit, You miss the
shots you don't take. Wayne Gretzky, Michael Scott. There we go, yeah, dude,
(16:38):
I mean back up, I don't even have much to add.
I'm holding. It was like I was like, what are
you waving around right now? Dude? I'm just got like
two clamps. They're kind of be like a day stress
though it's actually great. What am I gonna say? What
are the boys gonna ask me? Right now? However? So,
like I was just thinking that everything you're saying, I
(16:59):
don't want to too much, but I do just want
to say that. Like, so, Chad something said something in
the previous podcast about, um, you know, are you putting
your happiness in whether you're achieving or not? And I
guess failure for me is like, oh, I'm not achieving.
So it's kind of a bit black and white. But
I just had to go, oh, I'm happy outside of
my work just and like fully, even if I was
(17:21):
doing a job that I hate, would I still be
happy outside of my work? And so yeah, I don't
really have a lot to add. But then how about this,
because you just copt out of that answer, how about
how about this, Zack? What is love? Baby? Don't hurt me?
What is love after the honeymoon phase? Who is this from?
(17:42):
This is from Sabrina from Singapore, So this is the
next the next prompt, Next prompt? What is love after
the honeymoon phase? Love is a deep friendship and willingness
and longing to want to get to know that other persons. Wait, wait, wait,
can you repeat the question one more time? I was
(18:03):
focused on singing the song. Well, Zach just crushed that answers,
and you're ready to resay that answer. We're gonna play
the single. Jeu. Dude, I don't know if I'm good
at fine you you nailed it. I was just being
a dufe and wasn't listening to a dufe adufs. I
don't know. I was trying to find a word, and
it just came all right, I'm gonna read this prompt
and don't entrust me game. I'm listening. I feel like
(18:24):
you're gonna start singing the song. Is that what you're
doing this? I'm going to sing this song. You're really tempting.
You had that look in your eye. What is love?
Legit wasn't going to do it until you said it.
You had that look though I didn't. I didn't kid, Okay,
(18:44):
what is love? After the honeymoon phase? And they put
parentheses or that they put quotes, so obviously you know
I don't believe the honeymoon phase, but Zach, go ahead, yes, yeah,
but if it was a honeymoon phase, I think of
the honeymoon phase love is what did I say? It
was super good? It was. Yeah. The deep yearning is
a good word, the deep yearning and longing to want
(19:05):
to understand that person more deeply. Like it's so it's
like not that honeymoon phases surface, but it's just the
tip of the iceberg. I don't know, man, every day
with Chelsea is such a new journey of wanting to
understand each other. Doesn't mean that's easy, but like I
am she I'm the closest with her than anyone else
in my life, you know, And so that's flipping incredible.
(19:27):
And so to me, that's what love is in this context,
which is like a partner love. I guess right, Yeah,
I would probably say that love in that context is
the choice of commitment. Yeah, because so often, like your
emotions aren't the thing to gauge your actions off of,
(19:51):
you know what I mean, But it needs to be
your commitment to something. So like if you get in
a fight with your wife or you get in a
fight with your husband, that your emotions in the moment
are not to honor the other person in that in
that situation, but your commitment to the relationship lets you
understand weight it's not me versus you, it's us versus
(20:12):
the situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you need to like
approach yeah, just approaching it with that mindset and understanding
that you are a team and you work together and
you yeah, and and just know it comes down to like,
are we committed to the same thing and are we
on the same page in our commitment to each other,
(20:35):
regardless of whether what my emotions are trying to tell
me or not, you know what I mean? Because if
you everyone's like just follow your heart and this and that,
and it's like, dude, not even what does that mean?
It's just dangerous, But it's just like so dangerous, like
follow your heart. Well, so what if my heart tells
me to punch that person? Yeah? I know what. Yeah,
(20:57):
it's just like your heart and your emotions a lot
of times are telling you. Though it might feel right
in the moment, a lot of times they're they're telling
you some whack things, you know, and it's important to
note what they're saying. But it's important to look at
them in a healthy way because we're not belittling your feelings.
Your feelings are there for a reason, and that's important.
(21:18):
Your feelings are important. However, you need to know when
they're when they're healthy to benefit your life and the
essentially benefit what the end goal is for what you
want and what's fruitful for your community. Yeah, exactly. So
that like, particularly for a relationship, is like the end
goal should be two live the rest of your life
(21:41):
with that person happily and healthily until death. Do this part.
And if that is the goal, me, you know, checking
out other women on Instagram, it's not benefiting that goal,
(22:01):
you know what I mean? And and you can, you know,
whatever me or whoever, put yourself in this situation. If
there's like some X because I know this happens a
lot on Facebook, hits you up again randomly and you
haven't spoken them in years, and then all of a
sudden you have these like crazy thoughts about like oh
(22:23):
what about life with that person? Like emotions might be
rising in that moment, but that's not the healthy you
know what that that's that's not Yeah anyway, I'm kind
of like shopping over my words right now, but you
know what I'm trying to say. I think for me,
first off, I think I love what both you guys said,
and I agree, I guess just a third wing of
(22:43):
it for me would be that to understand that that
deep friendship that Zach was talking about, that deep connection,
and then what you're saying to be on the same team,
even if it's not super romantic, it's so much more
special than the honeymoon phase, because I feel like people
get so twisted where they're just like, oh, I'm just
gonna fall out of love, or what I'm just bored,
or we're not being intimate and all this stuff. Well,
(23:03):
there's so much more than intimate. There's so much more
too intimacy than just sex, right, And people think, honeymoon,
what do you think? Do you think sex? But I
felt so much closer to Tori when she's accepted me
my lowest times, and I feel so much closer to
her whenever we're having a fight and we choose each
other over making each other enemies, we choose to support
(23:24):
each other and love each other versus make make make
enemies out of lovers. Right, And then that that friendship
that we've built through growing through what we go through
has just made us have such a deeper respect and
in connection with each other that the honeymoon phase pales
in comparison. It's so easy to love someone when things
(23:45):
are great, inconvenient for you. It's so Yeah, it's so
easy to be intimate when you're at a bungalow and
bora bora. That's really simple. Like, that's so easy. We
know it's difficult because whenever someone's going through a dark
time and you're trying to support them and you don't
know how to help them, and then everything you're doing
(24:05):
is wrong. I'm not speaking from my experience. I'm just
sharing like, when you choose to love somebody, that's difficult,
but that's powerful and that's deep. Dude. That was That
was like, I'm not speaking from experience. That was like
me going like when it X hits you up on
Facebook and I'm just like, my ex has never hit
me up on Facebook, but you did. But I'm like,
that's I was like from anyone, if anyone's experience, it
(24:31):
wasn't me, I swear, and I didn't do it. All right, boys,
are you ready for the next one? Uh, Let's let's
keep this one quick and let's try to knock out
like four more if we can four more? Well, like,
but let's keep them quick though, Speed around, speed around,
all right, I'm gonna pitch this one of the big
old Gabby over there. All right, I'm right here. How
do you deal with heartbreak? How do you deal with heartbreak?
(24:56):
I mean, dude, it was honestly, when I went through heartbreak,
it was so tough. But honestly, I think I really
did it. I didn't tease myself to make it last
a really long time, if that makes sense. I kind
of like cut it off at the source, and I
was like, I'm not teasing the idea of being a
(25:18):
relationship with this person anymore. It ends like this is
the point where it's done, and I'm not going to
like entertain the idea anymore. I'm not going to try
and be friends with this person because that's over and
done and it will just make life extremely difficult for me.
(25:38):
And I'm going to try and a huge lesson right there,
by the way, you don't need to be everyone's friend,
especially you don't need to be their friends, like you
have freedom to not be their friend. There's other people.
There's seven and a half billion people. There's other friends exactly.
So UM and I was obviously healthiest for me and her.
UM and I channeled a lot of that energy that
(26:01):
was a time when like vine was still a thing,
and I ended up like channeling a lot of that
energy because I got kind of like there's a season
where I got like kind of lazy and growth slowed
down because I wasn't as during that relationship. I just
wasn't as consistent on social media. But then when that
was over, I was like, no, I need to get
back into it. I need to refocus. And that was
like an outlet that allowed me to really, um channel
(26:24):
like that energy and time into something productive. So and
then obviously like the time healed, the Lord healed, like
it was it was like kind of like a lot
of factors of giving myself the time to heal, creating
the separation in space to heal, relying on the Lord
for my happiness even though like the emotional heartbreak sucks, um,
(26:46):
and then like channeling that energy into something productive and
stuff like that, because if you spend a lot of
especially right after a heartbreak, that if you if you
have a lot of like spare time, the what the
games your mind is gonna do are just like scripture
says idle hands make for the Devil's Workshop. Yeah, so
(27:07):
it's just it's rough man, all right, anyway, so let's
speed around, Jack, do you have a no hit me
with the next question, I'm gonna I'm gonna tepe in
something quick on that is that where you run matters,
Because if you run to clubs and other relationships to
quick what's it called whenever you just get with somebody,
(27:28):
how come you no? But like, um, yeah, if you
go to rebounds, or you go to drinking or just
go to parting or run to social media for affirmation
and likes, that's super unhealthy. But so where you run matters.
You know, like you ran to using your time wisely
versus just doing in your own thoughts. And so if
you are going through heartbreak, I recommend just taking a
(27:49):
mental note. This is gonna suck for upwards between like
three months to a year. It could be longer, could
be less, right, but you need to be protected and
set up boundaries to protect your emotional and state during
that time. And where you run matters. Yeah. Yeah, Mine
was like two to three months of like really really
sucking emotionally crying, like the whole bit, and then then
(28:10):
it was probably like the next like nine months of
like getting over it and the emotions are still there,
but getting over. But I wasn't like traumatized by it,
but it was slowly like going away. It takes time
and you have to take it seriously, just like this
next prompt you're ready, Zack. This one's for you, big
for you, Zach, big dog Zacha. All right. I struggled
(28:31):
to communicate my feelings and just communicating in general. How
do I learn to communicate better? By the way I'm
hand picking these for these boys? Right, dude, you're a legend.
See this is I would say, zactly like you're a legend.
I hate you? Okay, yeah, what a god? Yeah? I
(28:55):
mean some transparencying in my marriage. This is probably one
of the biggest things Chelsea and I struggle it. It's
like I want her to communicate more. She wants me
to be softer in my communication. So like, that is
a great question. Can you read it again, just so
make sure I don't waffle too much. I struggled to me,
I struggled to communicate my feelings and just communicating in general.
How can I learn to communicate better? Good question? All right?
(29:18):
I would say the first thing is that there would
be initially if you're struggling to it, is there some
fear around it. Is there some fear around what you
want to say, or is there just fear around wanting
to talk to someone like, yeah, I guess I want
to know the context. Call the person up right now
on the phone. I want I want to know. But yeah,
I think for me, whenever I've struggled to communicate, it's
(29:39):
out of a fear, out of like I don't want
to upset someone or I don't want to be the
bad guy. And I think maybe when it comes to
hard things, you know, maybe it's someone did something to
you and you just want to let them know, hey,
that sucked. When it comes to those hard things, it's
one of those things where it's like maybe you have
to be a little selfish for a minute and just
let them know hey. But in the same way, if
you've messed up, that means you've of responsibility to communicate
(30:01):
that back. And so yeah, I just think it's analyzing
what what the fear is for communicating if it's it's
like anything And you guys a few episodes, a guy,
Wow that happen? Zack Zack, I just what I like.
(30:25):
A few a few episodes ago, we talked about um
like communicating on camera, and it's very similar to communicating
in person. Um, you just just takes practice. I think
it just takes the initial I should say this or
I should talk to this person, and it's okay to
like over communicate. I'm I'm the first guy to be like, hey,
I'm so sorry, like send a voice note. Sorry. If
(30:47):
I sounded like a bit of a jerk, I didn't,
that's not because dude, literally just like man, I just
I want to let you know that I didn't mean
it like this way. What I meant was just like, dude,
you're good, Like I understand. But the over communication over
communication is good though, and like in this scenario where
(31:08):
something might be wrong, over communicating is better than under communicating.
So so something that helps me with communicating and this
is really hard for people who struggle with confidence, was
who struggle with confrontation and conflict. And so I'm not
soone who glorifies it. But I also I'm not afraid
of it because I always want to get to a
(31:29):
place where we do better, you know. And so something
that helps me communicate is where I like I have
to know the person's listening and if they're on their phone,
I don't mind waiting, and Tori get so frustrated, but
in a funny way, She's like, maybe I can still
listen to you. I'm like, no, I don't mind waiting
until and then, like I also, I like eye contact
a lot, and I will wait until she listen to
(31:49):
me right And then I'll also make aggressive. I just
wish that there was a hidden camera in that situation. Yeah,
and I literally, so I'll open the conversation. I'll say this,
I'm like, hey, are you busy right now? And she's
like no, why, But then she stays looking at her phone.
I'm like, oh, I can I can ask you in
a few minutes. You know, I'm not that's fine, I'm
not worried here. She's like no, I'm I'm free right now.
(32:11):
I'm like, oh, you're noted. And then so I do
the whole thing where I'm like Zach, where I want
to over communicate, where I'm just like, hey, by the way,
like did you I just want to make sure you
fully understood what I was saying, you know, like you
don't have to repeat it back to me. I'm not
It's not like I'm treating someone like a child. But
I just I know that miscommunication destroys everything, like literally,
(32:32):
it's why some conversations something back it does. I just
want to make sure that I don't feel like someone's
treated me like a child. If they're like, can you
repeat it back to me, I'm like, no, that's actually good.
I need to make sure I understand, because dude, communication
is the foundation of relationships. If you can't communicate, what
do you have if you have nothing? And so I
love the question this person asked because they if you
(32:54):
can't communicate, you don't have a relationship, because then you're
just existing next to each other. You're not able to
move in unison. In communication helps you move in unison. Yeah. Yeah,
And I just want to add to that before we
jumped to the next one. I just finished UM Seven
Habits of Highly Effective People, So good read it. It's
a banger. UM just to plug use my Amazon affiliately.
(33:17):
He does. He does receive a commission, but there's no
up charge to you. I just finished it in a
big part of the book that really slapped for me was, um,
it's the classic and we all we've all heard a
hundred times, but seek to understand them to be understood
and even in your own communication. If you're frustrated and
angry about something, I need to communicate this with that person.
(33:38):
Always start with understanding where they're coming from first, because
when you go in there with only your context, that's
when you say things that you might regret, or things
that are silly, or question why didn't that person understand?
It's like, well, you didn't actually try and understand them.
I just think, yeah, when you start, when you start
those conversations, and when you truly when you truly, truly, truly, truly,
(34:00):
if you love someone, you care about them, you're trying
to understand them. When you truly do that, then it
kind of diffuses everything immediately. It's kind of like, I
don't know, it just puts it like a fire blanket
over it. So there's already I guess at a level
playing field. I don't know how it has to say that,
but yeah, I found that that's helping me hates. Yeah,
I think it takes like the walking on eggshells away
(34:21):
from it, because there's one thing that you need to
just embrace inside of relationships is that conflict is going
to happen. Confrontation will happen, like you will disagree with
each other and this this is not a terrible thing.
And I think preparing if you're naive to the fact
that it will happen, When it does happen, it's going
to rock your world and then you're gonna be afraid
(34:43):
of it. Yeah, But if you're preparing for an understanding like, Okay,
what are these safeguards that we can put in place
for when things do hit the fan that we can
like best operate in this situation to make the most
of you know, So when you say things, what are
you implying? Sure? All right, so I think we got
time for one more question? Is that cool? Hit us? Chad?
(35:06):
So you answered, Chad? You stopped. I want to hear
your thoughts off. Its not fair. I've been answering everyone. Bro.
You either send them to me or send them to
Zach and then you like add in at the end. Yeah,
because I get it's it's nice. It's nice like bounce
off of an artist conversation. What is the next one? Okay,
(35:26):
the next one, I'll take it fine. The next one
is how do you be yourself with someone that you
like and think about dating? Right? Okay, Zach? What about you?
How do you be. I don't know, honestly, that's I
have a quick answer if you want me to just
throw it out there. Yeah, because I was. What I
was going to say is I don't I've never like
(35:48):
kind of your home school. So it's not the same
for other people. Yeah, because other people have to deal
with other people's impressions of them, right, well, I still
have to deal that. Like when I moved to l A,
I was like, do you only with that? But I don't.
I was dealing with that. And and when I was
young to like, because your brother's insisted, no, no, dude,
(36:09):
I was all the time. Literally, I was at the
school every day, playing sports with a bunch of people.
Now I'm just teasing you, um, but yeah, I mean,
I just I don't know. I feel like I feel
like if I don't vibe with people, like I don't
need to be friends with them. I still care about
them as a person, Like if they reach out and
need me or you know whatever, if something happens, like
(36:31):
I'll be there to help them. But I don't, like,
you don't have to change yourself for it. Yeah, I
don't need to change myself to to like four of them,
you know, so I guess the thing I would quickly
say before zach Uh puts a chair on top and
sends us off into the sunset, is that you know,
I really want to challenge you to be yourself because
if you if you make someone fall in love with
(36:52):
someone you're not, you're gonna live your entire life pretending
to be some when you're not. And you don't want
that baby, you don't want that. It's you're gonna be
miserable your entire life pretending to be someone that you're not.
You're gonna not be walking and who how uniquely, fearfully,
wonderfully God has nitche you in the womb. He made
you this way on purpose. You need to walk in
that feel confident. That's when you get cocky in it.
(37:14):
That means that you're trusting that God made you this
way on purpose. And whenever you deny that, you're denying
that God knit you in the womb and that he
has a purpose for your life, because you're saying, oh,
I should have been different because of someone else, and
you do not. And if someone starts to like you
because of someone you're not, do you want to live
that way for the rest of your life, and then
you have this expectation to meet at all times and
(37:35):
walking on eggshells trying to make it. You know how
special it feels whenever someone likes you for who you are.
Like like the fact that I love anime right and tories.
I'm obsessive Formula one and she's here torn on pilot.
She knows all the songs now right. The fact that
I don't have to hide my little secret like obsessions
like that, and she like embraces me inside of them.
(37:56):
It's so sweet and I feel so loved because I
don't feel like I have to hide things about me.
I can just be like, yeah, no, like this is
this is what I love and she loves me for it.
And I don't like besides sides video games. Yeah, she
will let me do video games, but not not for long. Bro,
that is coming My birthdays next year, dude, my birthdays
(38:18):
next year and the year after and all right, Zach
put a bow tie on it. How the heck do
you want me to fall up on that? I don't understand.
You just like dropped some facts for hey. Is that
guess you like? Knowing that it was so fire? Oh? Man? Look,
(38:40):
I just think do you like yourself honestly, like, do
you like yourself? And if you do, that will give
you a bit of confidence. You know. It's just a
classic like if you love yourself, you'll be able to
love other people. And if exactly what Chad said, if
you're changing yourself to fit in or changing yourself to
be liked, I think you're already starting with a foot
back already, start back first, already starting disadvantage. That worked
(39:03):
out really well. But what would you say for someone
who doesn't like themselves if they said, don't think about it.
We're like, oh, I don't like myself. I'm not happy
with myself. I wow, all right? For me, I used
to just get real emotional about it. It was never
it was just like I just don't like myself, and
that was the be all and end all of the conversation.
(39:23):
And I just think, maybe take the conversation further and
and be real honest with yourself and go, well, why
don't I like myself? And kind of make it a system.
You know we were talking earlier about like not thinking
with your heart but thinking with your head and going, hey,
like not liking yourself, it's probably very much so like
a head battle, but something that's coming from your heart
where you're like, this makes me feel uncomfortable that I
(39:45):
do this. Um. I think for me, it's just about
being open to myself and going, hey, I don't like
that this is a habit that I'm doing. I want
to change that. And so I think it's a long
game process and over time it's Um, it's about really
understand what you're in control of, you know, Like that's
I guess. Yeah, I'm liking myself more and more every
(40:05):
day because I'm applying what I'm learning, and so yeah,
I'm changing my habits in that way. I was a
silly dude. I just want to like myself, Zack, Zack.
I just want to take a second to just be
like Gabe. And I love it whenever he does this
thing where I think he tries to put it on,
but then whenever he gets real, he's like, Okay, I
guess I'm just gonna get real about this. And that's
(40:25):
when you spit the best stuff. Whenever, like we we
want the real like whenever that comes out confidence my guy.
All right, I know it just ends the podcast, Oh gosh,
but it's so true though, Man, it's so true. I
(40:46):
think everyone who listens to the podcast would agree that.
Whenever Zack gets I don't want just say emotional like
in the cricenis, But when he gets real and emotional,
that's when that stuff just like hits so hard because
he's speaking from his own testimony and that's what changes people. Right.
It's like when Jesus spoke in parables. There are stories
about people, right, and whenever you're sharing stories about your
(41:10):
own history, you're like, you know, you're really helping people. Yeah,
I mean it comes with it comes with the awareness
that it's not very structured and it's loose than I
say the wrong words, and so I think that half
of me tries to prevent my brain from just being honest.
So I'm learning. I'm learning that. But again I'm doing
what I can do to learn and to be better
(41:31):
at communicating and to I don't know, and to understand myself.
I want to like myself, no worries, man, you just
fix it in the edit shop content clothing, dut that
that it's not that anymore. Is a ducko, let's go,
I got that right, all right? But yeah, man, I
just think you want to like yourself, Like who doesn't
(41:54):
want to like themselves, and if you don't, if you
don't like yourself, you should really drop a lot of
things right now and start working on that, like seriously,
like that's a priority, that's a that's an urgent and
important type deal. If you listen to the podcasts, you know,
if you know you know, if you know you all right? Anyway,
subscribe yo, what's up guys? Thank you so much for
(42:17):
watching this episode of prompt Us. Make sure to go
to prompt us podcast dot com neument your own prompts
and we will see you in the next one. Prompt
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