June 28, 2021 • 40 mins
Loneliness. It doesn’t discriminate. It attacks the best and the least, the rich and the poor, every color and then some...The worst part is... it attacks in isolation but you don’t have to be isolated to feel its attacks. You can even be surrounded by loved ones and still feel alone. So how do you handle that? If we are meant to do life with people and are alone, how do we find connection when the very thing that would solve our problem feels like an impossible solution. Tune in to today’s episode for our feelings our battling loneliness.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Prompt Us is a production of I Hot Radio. By
the way, Are you are y'all hot right now? Why?
I don't know why, I'm like hot? Are you guys hot? Dude?
You're always hot? Chon? Yeah, it's a default Chad default,
Chad default settings. What's up? Everyone, Welcome back to the
prompt Us podcast. We are so excited to learn with
you guys and grow with you guys. Today, I am
(00:22):
joined with my co host. I'm Gabriel by the way,
and I'm joined. I don't know if I mentioned that before.
I'm joined with my co hosts Chad and Zach, and
Zach is here with today's prompt gonna let us know
what you guys prompted us. Okay, God, that transition right.
Every time Chad is trying to keep it really smooth.
(00:44):
Every time I see Chad, every time Chad gets introduced,
I'm waiting for him to be like, welcome back, welcome back,
because every time in the vlog he's like, welcome back,
welcome any, welcome back to your thing in your vlogs,
welcome back to the channel. Well, Tori says that, and
then I hold up two fingers like that, Yeah, Zach,
you really know I know him well, you know him
(01:05):
well with all the editing of their vlogs that you do. Baby,
Let's go Hey, this is a great prompt from Isaac
in England the UK. Let's go international, Yeah, world wide,
prompt us worldwide, worldwide. Also, next guest, I think we've
already made that joy. But before I jump into Isaac's question,
I just want to let you know that you can
(01:25):
submit your own prompts over at prompt us podcast dot com.
You can even submit audio prompts. We would love to
hear your voices. So I see something. I gotta say this.
These prompts have been incredible that everyone's been sending at DYE.
It is it is so difficult to decide on prompts. Yeah,
(01:46):
it's I mean we've we've gotten hundreds, and we want
you to know that if we haven't answered yours in
any of the recent episodes or the ones moving forward,
we still have them in our like metaphorical hat to
choose from. Because all these questions are so good, good,
so good, so good, So let's speaking on. Let's jump
into Isaac's great question. Isaac's prompt for today is how
(02:08):
do you cope with loneliness when working from home. And
I feel like we all work from home in some capacity,
and I feel like it is very much more common.
Oh yeah lately, so much recent amount. Yeah, the virus
we won't name. Yeah, for me, it's so interesting because
I feel like that took the world by surprise, right.
(02:31):
It's like everyone was just so comfortable in their own
way of life and then boom, everything gets changed. And
then it's like you have the rug put out from
underneath you. Then you you freaking bust your button. You're
laying on the rug and you're thinking yourself, dang, I'm
laying this rug alone, and I'm kind of lonely right now.
Where is everyone? Where did everyone go? And so for
me it was really interesting because we so I got
(02:55):
married before all this quarantine stuff happened, and I had
traditionally worked in model and so I wouldn't get lonely
working from home. I would get lonely traveling for work
because I was never around my friends, I was never
around my family. Wait, dude, was was your wedding like
a few months before? No, No, you were you had
a whole year of marriage. Yeah. Yeah, And so for me,
freaking me out with this timeline here, I feel like
(03:16):
I'm in the MC right. It's a timeline, baby, the
Marvel Cinematic Universe timeline. I watched the first episode of
Low Key last, but I'm just really good the timeline.
I haven't started watching it yet. No, I'm still I'm
rewatching Formula one Drive to Survive episodes before. We just
have this whole episode be about Formula one. You keep talking, Chad. Yeah,
(03:37):
so I was saying that I there was definitely some
ways I had to battle loneliness whenever I was traveling
for work because now during COVID, I had my wife
there with me, so I didn't really experience loneliness as
much because we're we're you know, we're co workers. You know,
she's not my employee. I worked for her technically, but whatever,
you know, it's just the organizational structure. Okay for taxes,
(03:58):
I am. But anyways, So for me, I really had
to make sure I didn't just fall into these slumps
of just kind of accepting my situation for what it is.
And that was difficult because you know, there would be
a time and by the way, let me just be
clear when I say this, I know this is going
to sound like a first world problem, and I don't
know how else to say it, right, but it's a
real thing. Like people experience loneliness in whatever situation they're in.
(04:23):
There are people out on yachts in the middle of
the ocean that are pretty that are pretty lonely, And
so just because someone has this type of lifestyle doesn't
mean that they don't experience heartache and loneliness. So for me,
I would I would get booked on a job and
they would fly me to this other state or country
where there's you know, I don't have any friends, I
don't know anybody, and I'm there for a week and
(04:44):
I just have to just be there alone. And you
almost learned to entertain yourself. And for me, there's definitely
some times where I would notice myself fall into a
slump of just sadness where I just kind of accept it.
It's almost gosh, now that I'm talking about it with
you all, I feel really sad out like right now,
but I feel sad remembering it because I would just
accept it. I would just be like, oh, this is
(05:05):
my life. You know. I don't know how you guys
feel about that. In times if you've experienced onliness in
your own jobs. But for me, now that I'm looking
back on it, I do feel really really intrigued why
I was so willing to accept that lonely feeling and
just sit in it. You know, I wouldn't I wouldn't
practically try to change it because I just kind of said, oh,
(05:26):
this is this is what life is, and this is
what I have to deal with. Yeah, well that's like
the gosh, how how do I say it? The like,
not the issue, but like the one thing the dilemma
of depression or the dilemma of yeah, depression or loneliness
or those kind of like sad states is that you
(05:49):
kind of know what to do in a way get
out of it, but you don't feel like doing it.
So because you don't feel like doing it, you don't
do it, and then it makes it worse and it's
kind of just like this downward spiral that you kind
of need to break out of, you know. Yeah, totally.
And it's funny because I definitely feel like I've felt
lonely with a lot of people as well. You know,
it felt like I'd been around a crowd of people. Everyone.
(06:11):
I feel like everyone's felt that before, but like being
in a group of people and you just feel really
isolated still, And so yeah, I feel that I can
relate to the depression thing pretty hard actually, because it's
almost like an energy thing. Right when you're isolated, you're
like I don't want to be I saw someone posed
to mean, they're like I'm like, oh, I'm depressed. I
should hang out with someone, I'd actually rather be by myself,
(06:32):
And it just kind of keeps the cycle going. I'm
not saying like that's how to fix depression or anything
like that like that, but I just think, yeah, when
we sometimes we do isolate ourselves, whether it's for work
or whether it's just because energy we just don't have
the energy to engage with people. Yeah, it's funny where
we isolate ourselves, even outside of a work context, like
even outside of like oh because I work at home
(06:54):
in my room or whatever. Yeah, I mean I experience
loneliness a lot. Like I don't know the way I
put it is. I am married, yes, like you were saying, Chad,
like we all have our wives, but she doesn't fulfill
the role that my friends fulfill. There. You know, they're
different roles and you need those different parts of your community.
So while yeah, maybe I am less lonely because Jess
(07:18):
is in the house at the same time as me,
I especially me where I kind of im I flip flop.
I don't know if I'm introverted or extroverted or what,
but I know that I need to, like every day,
I want to at least see one other person who
I'm close with, just to like have that interaction communication
(07:40):
with them that I don't know there's I don't know
what it is, but that's like something that I'm learning
about myself and kind of like realizing that for those
of you who work from home and are married and
still have that person you you still have the right
to feel lonely even though you do have that you're
significant out of there. You shouldn't get down on yourself
(08:02):
saying like I shouldn't feel lonely because I have my spouse,
Like you do need that, You do need more community
than just your significant other. Yeah, what you're saying is
so true, because you know, working at home is so
much easier, Like I don't want it to come across like, oh,
it's so hard to work from home because I feel
so blessed to be able to work at home, get
to look after my dog. Like honestly, it's actually the
(08:23):
pros outweigh the negatives, right, But when it comes to loneliness,
I really miss the community of an office or the
energy of an office. And I say to Chelsea all
the time, like, I wish I could just go do
the exactly what I'm doing now, but in the office
next door, Gabe's working there, you know, Like I wish
I could do that have my friends around me, which
(08:45):
is why I took a day at work like a
big part at church, which is why we need to
blow up this podcast guy, so we can afford a
communal workspace. Or Chad Zach and I work in the
same building and everyone's invited. Baby, it's like a thousand
person co working space. Do the d Ramsey where we
have he does his show and then you have the
glass and people are watching. That would be crazy, actually,
(09:07):
But Chadman had what was some of the things that
you found you had to do to kind of navigate
through that loneliness, Like obviously with travel and work and stuff, Like,
what are those kind of things you had to do? Yeah, well,
I think before I say that, I think it's really
important to note that nothing replaces community, right, and so
some of the I think some of the tips I'm
going to share next are just like they're not a replacement.
(09:28):
They can just help in a lonely spot in a pinch. Like,
for example, if you are as torn and Pilots would
say scaled back and isolated, shout out to the new
album Scaled and Icy. If you are scaled back and
iceolated bars, then hopefully some of these things can't help.
Tory and I do a handful of these, and we
think they're hilarious where we will actually put on Like
(09:51):
so there's this like almost like never ending YouTube video.
It's like coffee shop sounds, because have you guys done those? Yeah? Yeah,
where basically you put on this YouTube video this like
six hours long and it's nothing but the sounds of
like coffee shops and like people ordering and coffee things
being set down on the table. And that's something that
(10:11):
it kind of has this subconscious effect where you feel
like you're not just in like this, if you're awkward,
that was that quiet you know what I mean? You
don't feel like you're just completely sever awkward and awkward silence. Well, dude,
that's one thing. That's one thing about totally off topic Americans.
(10:32):
People who aren't Americans say Americans never want any silence
ever when they're in like a conversation or or like
at a dinner or something like that, where like other
cultures are just happy if like you're talking and then
conversation stops and then you're just silent. I've hung out
with you guys too much, but yeah, I've gotten used
(10:52):
to it. Like Jess and I will talk maybe and
then like at dinner and then at just anyway, that's
totally off topic. I just it's just fascinating to me,
like the cultural difference as being American and sheltered in
home school and then going out and being like the
world is different than how so ten number two or
whatever it was. Yeah, well I don't have like a
whole list of tips for this one, you're slacking child.
(11:17):
I wish I did, because, by the way, Zach, how
frustrating was it to edit that one episode where there
was like twelve tips and we re arranged them and everything. Dude,
I didn't even you know, I didn't even bother to
try and arrange them into the right order, because I
just thought it was so funny that you'd be like
tip seven after tip two. Yeah, dude, I have issues,
but there's definitely some things I've had to do, even
(11:39):
to the point where now Tory and I have this
virtual assistant who is just crushing it. She actually listens
to prompt us. That's how she found Tory and I
was through prompt Us shout out Amy, and so she
sometimes what we'll do is is that we will just
face time people, and we're actually scheduling that right now.
(12:00):
We're we're scheduling time room for margin, right and so
I'm sure you guys know about margin. Tory and I
we're just learning about this cool idea called margin, which
gives you room for mistakes, for setbacks, for delays. We're
just figuring out what this thing is. I don't know
why no one told us it before. This is why
we told you to read a centralism. We told you
to read essentialism. Check. I didn't include margin for it, Okay,
(12:24):
I didn't know. I didn't leave room for it. Bro,
if it takes you ten minutes to get somewhere, you
set like twenty minutes in your calendar for it, because
stuff is gonna happen. On the front end, stuff is
gonna happen. Like I don't set meetings back to back
unless like someone else sets them for me and they're
like happen to be at that time. I'm usually like
thirty minutes between each thing. One you do you compress,
(12:44):
but two like you have to get other things done
in the middle and things are going to pop up
and margin baby, yeah. And so when you set that margin,
it leaves room for you to connect to other people,
whither you just want to hop on FaceTime or send
some voice notes. I've even had friends, and I love gosh,
I have the best friends ever, including you both, love you,
love you guys. But I have friends that whenever they're
(13:06):
in their car and they're gonna, you know, in LA traffic,
you're if you're gonna drive to a Starbucks, you're gonna
be driving forty five minutes, right. And so they have
a buddy named Daniel Floren who will do like forty
five second popcorn prayers for people. And he will literally
send you audio message him praying for you for like
a minute, right. And so he's found ways to take
(13:28):
that take that isolation that he's experiencing in that moment
and turn it into something good. And so I guess
the reason I mentioned there's two different examples is because
on one hand, if you just need some extra noise
in the background, whether it's a TV or the sound
of a coffee shop or whatever, that sometimes can help
when you're feeling a little bit down because subconsciously silences.
Can you know, how's that torn pilot sign go, tornpilot
(13:51):
sign goes? Sometimes silence can be violence. Is that how
it goes? You guys don't talking about I think yeah,
And so I know that for a lot of us,
if we do struggle with loneliness and depression, then silence
can be something that can really scare us, right, And
so having those those little things to kind of in
the background where we don't feel isolated, can really help.
(14:11):
But then there's also if we are stuck at home,
we have to realize how important it is for us
to have community. Like I think, yeah, I think that's well, dude,
Just to go back on your on your last thing
real quick, just to add to it. What I tend
to do is when you're when you're working from home,
you're like in the same space that you've been in
since you woke up and you're going to be until
(14:33):
you fall asleep, and that is a very isolating factor
in it. So I always try and create margin to
go on walks between things, like probably every two hours,
I'll like, whether it's going on a walk or just
stepping outside or doing something that is like actually stepping
out of the walls that you're confined in. Is it's
(14:55):
just like a mental disconnect from that space. So then
you can kind get a refresh reset. Getting sun, I
find is a really good refresh for some reason. Yeah,
I don't know why. I sorry, had to burp. It
was there. I had to do it. Yeah, it's a
really good refresh, just like going out getting some sun,
stepping outside. He's in the UK, so I don't know
(15:15):
how much sun he's getting, but it's sun. But yeah,
just like having disconnect from the walls that can find you,
So then you come back into the space a little
bit more refreshed. That's something like as far as like
small little practical tipsy kind of alleviate the sense of
loneliness in that space. Anyway, chat your tip number five. Yeah,
(15:38):
well no, I I think before I go back to
tip number fourteen, Ladies and gentlemen, ladies, and June, I
want to personally apologize for Gabe. Zach and I are
sorry for his conduct. I'm not sorry own second hand
(16:07):
embarrassment right now, and and call just shut this camera right.
But I was gonna say to build off number sevens.
A number seven would be, you know, if you can
break it up a few days a week where if
(16:29):
you can go work at a coffee shop, even I
don't know some people's jobs you have to be on
what's it called, like a VPN, you know what I mean.
You have to have certain things to protect, like the
privacy of your business or whoever you're working for, so
obviously you want to respect all those things. But even
if you can just be around people sometimes that helps.
I liked what Zach said earlier, because we can't experience
loneliness and depression even if we are surrounded by people.
(16:52):
But if we are feeling lonely, taking the small steps
just to be in an atmosphere where other people, it
can help, right that is. I mean, it's gonna cure
every single problem, but it does help. But then now
fast forward, it depends on your I would to add
to that, it also depends on your personality type too,
like what kind of people you need to be around,
(17:12):
because there's some people who are like, oh I need
to be around people, and then it's like seven friends
they get you know what I mean? Or just like
you just need the one person to just sit there
with you, yeah and do work and just do work
as well, and you don't need you just need to
be around that one person who you fully trust. Yeah,
you know it just depending on your personality type. Yeah,
(17:33):
And I just wanted to add that as like, because
I know we're all relatively we're all relative hype lords,
you know, so like you don't want to like I
didn't hear your Chad's introverted. You're you're definitely introverted, right Yeah, Yeah, yeah,
I'm I'm I'm like one hundred percent extra. Yeah. Games
(17:54):
in the middle, I love it. We're just like taking
them one side to the other. No, But so I
when I took the Myers breaks, saying way back when
my professor who examined the results, she was like, chat,
I think you're an extroverted introvert, And I'm like, what
does that mean? She's like, you love people, but you
don't always love being around them. I'm like, Okay, yeah,
I can see that, you know, because I actually really
do enjoy being alone, where my my like battery gets
(18:16):
charged with me being alone. And yeah, that's that's the
same with me, Like I need to be around people
for like, I don't know, I do need to be
around people, and then once that's a portion of time
is done, I then need to be alone. Yeah, like
I do need both. I could go back to back
hey for my wife, I would literally be like I'd
(18:38):
just hang around with people every day, which is a
weird challenge for working at home because my personality type
inherently wants me to go be with people every day. Yeah,
and that's a practical tip I want to throw in there,
which I think just adds what I've been doing. That's
what you guys are saying, is like I split up
my day with like coffee with someone. I mean, it's yeah,
it's not flipping financially great to be smashing coffee every day.
(18:59):
It's a but it helps split in the day. No,
no, no no, still it's worth I'm going to say that
is worth the financial investment if it is for like
your mental health, just spending the you know, still expensive now,
like spending five bucks on a coffee. But but to
add to that, one thing that I have found is
setting like an end time limit on things. So if
(19:22):
I know I'm going to get a coffee or lunch
with this person at this time, it mentally allows myself
I don't know why, but knowing that that's there and
knowing like the goal essentially that I'm working towards, like oh, yeah,
I have to work the next three hours till this time.
Then I get to go have a coffee with someone.
(19:43):
And then once you're back, you're like, oh, I only
have to work this much more time before it's the
end of the day. I put things away and then
maybe you're going to grab dinner with someone so I
don't know, or someone comes over at night or whatever
it is. But having those like kind of easier time
chunks to handle, and then that goes into the whole
thing that we talked about with like efficiency with work
on setting like fifty minutes of work, ten minute break
(20:06):
when I edit I have to do. I'm on the
alarm all the time on my phone, Like set a
fifty minute timer, put it down, work for fifty minutes
when it rings, set a ten minute timer and then
I'll step outside and it's just like setting those kind
of like time increments. Yes, really for myself, maybe it's
that personality type, but I would strongly encourage you, encourage
(20:28):
you to try it in the small scale like those hours,
or in the bigger scale, like like with you. I
know you go and work at your church on Wednesdays,
so you know that you need to get through Monday
and Tuesday of working here by yourself before you're in
that environment of halfway through the week exactly. So it's
like in the small increments of you know, an hour
(20:50):
or an hour or two, or in the bigger increments
of like several days, or even in bigger increments in general,
because I know, even on a project level, it's much
easier for me to work on something if I know
that there's like an end cap to fulfilling what that
project is. Anyway, that's my tangent. No, those Chad Chap
number nineteen. I'm gonna give you just a tip. I
(21:19):
can never edit it in. Every time you say it,
I'm like, okay, time to cut around. I put a
plug in. It just cuts out every time you say that. Dude,
you could leave it in, I could leave it in. Okay,
now we're back in. Chad made an inappropriate joke that
we're we've been debating for the past five minutes whether
or not we may have cut it out. So if
you're hearing this audio of me talking right now, this
(21:40):
is from whatever said before then the cut. I think
something that it's really important for us all to know,
especially those who people who maybe like me or if
they flip flopped like you gave in terms of just
being extroverted, is that I still need people in my life.
And I didn't realize how deeply I needed people until
(22:01):
recently actually, which you know, I love, gosh, oh my gosh.
I love that we get to we get to air
out our dirty laundry with our audience, like live right.
I love that because this is not like three guys
sitting around who know everything and we're just sharing all
this wisdom like oh, like, enjoy it. No, it's like
we're figuring things out as we go. No, we're absolutely
(22:23):
figuring things out as we go. And I know that
I have two sets of accountability friends right now, and
I know that people are thinking of themselves they're just
like accountability friends, Like wow, nice Christian word, Chad, but
I mean accountability. I that's odd. What's happen. I didn't
hear our spinoff podcast, Accountability Bros. Yeah, I Accountaby. That's
(22:46):
actually so good. So I was hanging out with my
my buddy Ben who lives in Tampa, Florida, and he
was sharing with me just the the importance of like
reading God's word and to not substitute just devotionals or whatever.
He's like, you actually got to spend time in the Word,
and I was like, yeah, actually, I agree with you.
I feel like I've been avoiding it a little bit.
Functory short Now we text each other a daily that
(23:09):
we've like completed, you know, these chapters that we're doing together.
And now I've jown ability. Now I've joined the beach
Bob Babes with you all in Denny. That yet, guy,
and I love it because even though I haven't, I
don't know when the last time I saw you guys
were I mean, Gabe, but what was it like three
months ago, four months ago? I don't know. It's been
(23:31):
the last podcast recording session that we did in person,
which would have been crazy April. Yeah, It's it's been
a minute, right, but I still feel close to you,
and same thing for you. I mean, I talked to
you every day. So yeah, dude. By the way, I
got a shout zack down real quick. It's so funny
hearing him about how powerfully extroverted he is. So we'll
(23:53):
be talking about work stuff blah blah blah blah, and
I'm like, all r dude, I'm gonna get ready for work.
He's like, Okay, I can tell he doesn't want to
hang up, and I'm like, so, so what's going on.
He's like, oh, yeah, man, I'm just you know, just dude.
That is so funny. That's hilarious because when Zach and
(24:13):
I talk, I'm like, getting me off the phone is
like Jess in the corner kind of like, I'm me down,
Like we have to go, we need to step out
the door. And I'm like, all right, remember wait one
more thing. Like literally, I'm pretty sure we were facetiming yesterday.
There was multiple things I still wanted to say that
I didn't get. Every time game books in a conversation
(24:34):
with us, it's like all hour each side of a
twenty minute conversation. It's smart. You should play a margin
for your so twenty minute FaceTime, an hour on the
front end and now on the back end for margin.
So I'm going to share with you why all that
accountability matters after this ad. So we have this, uh
this text group called the Beach Bobbabes where we keep
each other accountable to do this. Guys name name is
(24:58):
in progress. Beach about Babes was when I put the
group chat together. When I put the group chat together,
I tried to think of something funny and that was
the best that came out. So if you have any suggestions, oh,
head to our website. Prompt does podcast dot com leave
your suggestions for out fitting his career? I love it,
just constant plugs. But what's cool is is that before
(25:23):
I had you all helped me with accountability for Jim
stuff my buddy been with accountability and getting into God's word.
I thought it was fine, you know, because I'm an introvert,
so like I'm good alone. I can handle it like
I actually I enjoy being alone. And so what's wild
is is my life has gotten significantly better the past
month by doing this with you all, Like it's been
an absolute blast for me to like to work towards
(25:47):
a common goal with people that I love. I feel
like I'm becoming a better person. And so what's nice
is is that even though I feel okay being alone,
I didn't realize how much I was missing out on
by having good community and brothers to like push me forward.
And that's just been a great lesson for me recently,
just because I I it's something I didn't know I needed.
And I think a lot of us whither you are
(26:07):
extroverted or introverted, whatever, you know, all that stuff, it's
just it just describes you, doesn't define you. We all
go through ebbs and flows of like who we feel
as a person we are. But I can't I can't
explain to you guys how how thankful I am to
have had people in my life to walk with to
feel like I'm growing as a person. And that's just
(26:27):
so special. Oh wow, I'm not crying, Yeah, you're crying.
Freaking distance, bro, freaking distance, bro, dude waiting. I'm waiting
for the first podcast where we get to actually all
be together. I feel like the rooms it's just gonna
(26:47):
be so much like, where's so much energy? Right, Oh
my gosh, Chris Pratt's going to be there. On the
books and Matthew McConaughey Wilson elon Musk. Maybe he'll join you.
We wait, wait, I have I have something serious to say.
(27:09):
So this is something I'm kind of embarrassed about right now.
But something I would do whenever I was traveling and
I was alone all the time is I would practice
impressions because you're in the hotel room alone, and so
I would just walk around the room practicing impressions. And
I wanted to ask us, first off, can y'all do
any impressions? Not he can only do the npot yet.
Oh yeah, I can't. I don't. You have to feed
(27:32):
me stuff and then I just have to try it,
and I'm like, oh that works. But there's not like
a specific one, like my brother can do Obama really well?
And it's like you go to, like, dude, do the
Obama impression. He can like do it really well, like
I can't. You can also do Trump really well, which
is hilarious. Yeah, he just he just does all the presidents. Yeah,
he like does an impersonation of every president from like
(27:53):
one to forty what is it forty six now? But anyway,
I don't even what can you do chat real quick. Well,
first off, I haven't I'm not practiced at all right now,
so if you ask me to do them, they're going
to be terrible. I'm gonna get roasted for doing these.
But I can do Bane from Batman. I can do
Christopher Walking. I used to try Owen Wilson, which which
is what made me think of this, and Matthew McConaughey too.
(28:16):
Oh Wilson isn't low key? Yeahs so funny. But the
thing is I can't do the impression of him and
the one in Matthew McConaughey because the lines I always
say won't make the cut on the podcast. Wait wait,
why are we talking about impressions? No, I was just
you know, chat. But it's interesting. I can wrap it.
I can bring it background, right, okay, which we've had
(28:38):
impressions because what are the things that you used to
do when you would buy yourself just to kind of
keep you Chad would do impressions? Right, Yeah, absolutely, background,
let's go there we go, Okay, just give us one
eye and one everyone sitting sitting here like the impressions
tip tip number forty three was not a good team. Well,
(29:00):
I guess it does. Help to be able to entertain
yourself and not. I just wanted to reference a tip
being number forty something. Oh wait, I do actually have
a good tip. Yeah, good for it. So I think
I think once. I think. Something that's important to recognize
if you are experiencing loneliness from working from home is
that like you have to take your thoughts captive. This
(29:21):
is something we talk about a lot. I don't know
if we mentioned it on an episode thus far, but
y'all care if I plugged torn and Pilots again real quick? Yeah,
just for the third time this episode. Yeah, they're gonna
be a guest in the future too. So all I'm
saying is is that they created this album called Blurry Face,
(29:41):
and Blury Face was basically almost like a how do
I say, like a I don't say manifestation. By the way,
is that is that your dog? It's usually my dog
on your side of the bro I am stairs in
a closed room and that's like that's loud. Oh my goodness.
Oh yeah, dude, he lights out the whole house when
(30:02):
he sees a squirrel outside. Everyone else, Oh my god.
So basically they came out with this, uh this album
called blurry face. And basically Tyler Joseph was struggling with
his own internal dialogues and I just see, I can
see what you guys are doing. You're hilarious, Like I
(30:23):
cannot no, we just are We don't have enough leg space,
so I'm like spreading my legs. So Zach and like,
oh my gosh, what this episode is a lover please keeping.
So basically what Tyler Joseph did is he gave his
insecurities a name because and we've talked about this before,
but you want to make sure you know who's talking
to you. And so if you are experiencing loneliness, you
(30:45):
do need to take those thoughts you're feeling inside of
your loneliness and take them captive and dissect them and
process them in a healthy way. And there's a tons
of ways you can do that. Where sometimes you're experiencing
lonliness because you actually haven't had time with people, right,
That's like that's a thing you to have time with people.
Sometimes you're experiencing loneliness because you don't How do I
say this in an appliway because I never want to
(31:07):
upset people, but I do know it is possible for
us to use people for our own entertainment. And for example,
if you get home from work and you text thirty people, like,
that's a sign that you just need attention, okay. And
so I do want to kind of clarify that there
is a difference between actually feeling lonely and feeling like
(31:28):
negative about yourself and someone who's just kind of needs
to be constantly distracted. And I would say to that person,
by the way, I'm not attacking you, I would say
it would be really good for you to process those
thoughts whenever you are lone, like turn your phone off
and like just spend time by yourself, getting to know yourself.
Because I remember Gabe drop this fact in an episode
(31:49):
one time. Gosh, it blew my mind. He was like,
you need to have a PhD and your wife and
I was like, I was like who, Like I genuinely shocked.
Like Gabe said a lot of things to me that
are super encouraging, and why is I'm just like, God,
why I'm older than you? Shut up like and I'm like,
how do you know all this stuff? But that was
one that just absolutely blew me out of the way.
(32:10):
But I also want people to know that you need
to have a PhD in yourself. You need to know yourself.
You need to be aware of what are your temptations,
where are your struggles, what are things you're good at,
what are things you're not good at? You need to
know yourself. And the only way you know yourself is
by spending time with yourself. And if you're constantly seeking
escapism from yourself, that's a sign that you should maybe
(32:31):
maybe find a way to process your thoughts with yourself,
either with the counselor who knows. This video is sponsored
by counseling. Can you imagine that was one giant plug
for a counseling thing. But no, I think you'd be
really good for people to process your thoughts with somebody
if you feel like you're constantly distracting yourself from yourself. Yes,
(32:52):
well yeah, I mean I was just going to add
I love what you're saying, Chad, because that's not in
a work context. What you're saying is purely out of
just wanting to be more self aware of what you
need as a person day to day, right without the
pressure of work. And I think that's super cool. That
actually makes me think that I need to do that more.
I need to have more moments in the margins, you know,
(33:12):
or create margins during my week where I acknowledge what
I what the week was like in and out of work,
so that when I work in the week coming up,
I'm prepared. You know, I've talked about it is the
the like what Jess and I do. Yes on every
week we have our family team meeting, but then we
do you guys, reflect on the week at the start
(33:33):
of it, we just talk about emotionally where we're feeling
and what happened with our emotions that week and how Yeah,
just an emotional check in for that week. That's awesome. Yeah, man,
I mean it is it this whole thing. It's so
crazy because a lot of people like the segment, which
is what obviously why we started this podcast, because there's
(33:54):
so many like segment segmentations in life, like oh, this
is my bucket for you know, my personal life, and
then this is my bucket for work, and then this
is my bucket for you know, just like separating those things,
but they're all so tied together. And like knowing how
you operate emotionally, like knowing yourself and having a PhD
(34:14):
in yourself like you were saying, Chad, and understanding what
makes you tick, the way you respond to things emotionally,
the way you just handle situations goes across everything, you
know what I mean. It's going to change the way
you can like optimize working from home so that you
(34:36):
can be most efficient with your work but also be
most efficient with yourself, you know, or be most I
don't know if efficient is the word, but like like
beneficial to yourself and your emotions and stuff like that.
So this is something we're getting to a point where
we've kind of opened this conversation that can't be answered
(34:58):
by someone else. Yes, you need to kind of do
your own like self research on yourself, and you know
how do you And there's a bunch of tips that
we can give and we've given them throughout the episode,
like giving yourself margin go on, you know, take time,
set time parameters on things, whatever. But those are things
(35:19):
like for me, I'm giving tips that I do myself
because I know it helps me, you know what I mean,
And you kind of need to figure out what is
going to help Yeah, yeah, Well I like what Chad
said about seeing someone seeing a counselor, Like that's an
awesome way to just build that self away in this
straight away. Having someone reflect with you. Yeah, it's massive.
And when I went and saw a psychologist for the
(35:39):
first time, she really had to make sure that I
knew because of my personality type. If I'm with people
all weekend, Saturday, Sunday church, hanging with friends, doing all this,
all this kind of crazy stuff, pull the hype because
I'm the hype. It's real. But if I'm doing all
this when it gets to Monday and I'm working alone
at home, think about the difference between a Sunday night
(35:59):
hanging out with everyone and a Monday morning. Like in energy,
it's like a drop, And she said, it's not that
you can't deal with it at the bottom, it's the
speed at which you descend, because you're coming from a
top all the way to the bottom so quick. One
day you're hanging out with twenty people and you love
all them. The next day you're alone, isolated, staring at
your computer. She's like, it's not a big surprise that
(36:21):
you struggle that next day. In the same way, I've
noticed that if I've spent all like if I spend
all week down here, it actually takes a long time
for me to ramp up to hanging with people, I
have to build into like hanging out with people, and
so I just think big conscious of those two different spots.
You know, it's obviously not one hundred and zero. It's
obviously that even ninety percent or whatever in that space.
(36:42):
But for me, my personality required me to ease down.
So instead Monday morning, I'll do a phone call with someone,
I'll try and meets halfway fifty percent do coffee on
a Monday morning, so that instead of going from like
all the time in the world with people to no
time at all, It's yeah, there's just a little bit
of a kind of a middle ground. Does that make sense? Yeah? Yeah, no,
that makes so much. But I just saw saying about
(37:02):
that when Chatter and then what you were talking about
feed out which you descend. That's the name of my
next album, Zack out Here Stealing Chats Thunder with with
the lines not even my psychologist. I love it. I
just I pictured Zack's album cover with him jumping off
a cliff just like just like this, it's just us
(37:25):
l song one is going to be like, I think
it's important for people just to think about, Okay, why
am I experiencing onelyiness? Is this because I'm actually living
in an isolated time like what we did all last
(37:47):
year and what we're still experiencing this year, right, And
I can't I can't connect with my co workers. I
am I'm not around people all the time. And you
know this, this was such a shock to us, and
we see it in different spikes and people's mental health.
You're seeing it the after effects of a post twenty
twenty life, right, So I think it's really important to
just recognize, am I am I feeling lonely because I'm
(38:09):
actually lonely? Or am I feeling lonely because I just
want to keep riding that high like what Zach was
mentioning of being around people all the time. And so
I think once we unpack that within ourselves, like what
Gabe was saying, we can start building in little habits
that can create a big difference in our life, whether
it's you know, going to a coffee shop two times
a week and I have, by the way, I'm sure
(38:30):
you guys have this too, but I have friends at
practice this like torn I actually put on that jazz
coffee shop music in the background of our home just
that way. That we feel like we're you know, we
have something a little bit more, and we actually do
schedule facetimes with people just that way. We were getting
that one on one time. And now that I have
the beach bobbabes and I have my buddy Ben, I'm
doing that, I'm reading the Bible with it really does
(38:52):
help me in those times where I do feel more isolated.
My cup is still full. And so I think it's
also important to remember you may experienced dry spells in
your work where it's not filling your cup, and that's
okay because, as Gay was saying, we have a bunch
of buckets, right, and not every single bucket needs to
be totally fooled all times. And if you do need
(39:13):
to plan out and look forward to that lunch with
a friend in between a work that's pretty isolating, that's okay.
And you do need to invest in that. Like if
it means spending six bucks on a coffee a day,
yeah it's six bucks. Yes, that's a lot of money
over a year, But like, if you're not going to
spend money on your mental health, what are you going
to spend money on? Thank you guys so much for
(39:34):
tuning into this episode of prompt Us. And remember you
can follow us apt prompt Us Podcasts on Instagram. That's
our handle app prompt Us podcast and that is where
you can submit prompts that will be topics that we
discuss in future episodes. Appreciate you guys, tons, and we'll
talk again in the next one. Prompt Us is a
production of iHeart Radio. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio,
(39:56):
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your po us
Prompt Us is a production of I Hot Radio. By
the way, Are you are y'all hot right now? Why?
I don't know why, I'm like hot? Are you guys hot? Dude?
You're always hot? Chon? Yeah, it's a default Chad default,
Chad default settings. What's up? Everyone, Welcome back to the
prompt Us podcast. We are so excited to learn with
you guys and grow with you guys. Today, I am
(00:22):
joined with my co host. I'm Gabriel by the way,
and I'm joined. I don't know if I mentioned that before.
I'm joined with my co hosts Chad and Zach, and
Zach is here with today's prompt gonna let us know
what you guys prompted us. Okay, God, that transition right.
Every time Chad is trying to keep it really smooth.
(00:44):
Every time I see Chad, every time Chad gets introduced,
I'm waiting for him to be like, welcome back, welcome back,
because every time in the vlog he's like, welcome back,
welcome any, welcome back to your thing in your vlogs,
welcome back to the channel. Well, Tori says that, and
then I hold up two fingers like that, Yeah, Zach,
you really know I know him well, you know him
(01:05):
well with all the editing of their vlogs that you do. Baby,
Let's go Hey, this is a great prompt from Isaac
in England the UK. Let's go international, Yeah, world wide,
prompt us worldwide, worldwide. Also, next guest, I think we've
already made that joy. But before I jump into Isaac's question,
I just want to let you know that you can
(01:25):
submit your own prompts over at prompt us podcast dot com.
You can even submit audio prompts. We would love to
hear your voices. So I see something. I gotta say this.
These prompts have been incredible that everyone's been sending at DYE.
It is it is so difficult to decide on prompts. Yeah,
(01:46):
it's I mean we've we've gotten hundreds, and we want
you to know that if we haven't answered yours in
any of the recent episodes or the ones moving forward,
we still have them in our like metaphorical hat to
choose from. Because all these questions are so good, good,
so good, so good, So let's speaking on. Let's jump
into Isaac's great question. Isaac's prompt for today is how
(02:08):
do you cope with loneliness when working from home. And
I feel like we all work from home in some capacity,
and I feel like it is very much more common.
Oh yeah lately, so much recent amount. Yeah, the virus
we won't name. Yeah, for me, it's so interesting because
I feel like that took the world by surprise, right.
(02:31):
It's like everyone was just so comfortable in their own
way of life and then boom, everything gets changed. And
then it's like you have the rug put out from
underneath you. Then you you freaking bust your button. You're
laying on the rug and you're thinking yourself, dang, I'm
laying this rug alone, and I'm kind of lonely right now.
Where is everyone? Where did everyone go? And so for
me it was really interesting because we so I got
(02:55):
married before all this quarantine stuff happened, and I had
traditionally worked in model and so I wouldn't get lonely
working from home. I would get lonely traveling for work
because I was never around my friends, I was never
around my family. Wait, dude, was was your wedding like
a few months before? No, No, you were you had
a whole year of marriage. Yeah. Yeah, And so for me,
freaking me out with this timeline here, I feel like
(03:16):
I'm in the MC right. It's a timeline, baby, the
Marvel Cinematic Universe timeline. I watched the first episode of
Low Key last, but I'm just really good the timeline.
I haven't started watching it yet. No, I'm still I'm
rewatching Formula one Drive to Survive episodes before. We just
have this whole episode be about Formula one. You keep talking, Chad. Yeah,
(03:37):
so I was saying that I there was definitely some
ways I had to battle loneliness whenever I was traveling
for work because now during COVID, I had my wife
there with me, so I didn't really experience loneliness as
much because we're we're you know, we're co workers. You know,
she's not my employee. I worked for her technically, but whatever,
you know, it's just the organizational structure. Okay for taxes,
(03:58):
I am. But anyways, So for me, I really had
to make sure I didn't just fall into these slumps
of just kind of accepting my situation for what it is.
And that was difficult because you know, there would be
a time and by the way, let me just be
clear when I say this, I know this is going
to sound like a first world problem, and I don't
know how else to say it, right, but it's a
real thing. Like people experience loneliness in whatever situation they're in.
(04:23):
There are people out on yachts in the middle of
the ocean that are pretty that are pretty lonely, And
so just because someone has this type of lifestyle doesn't
mean that they don't experience heartache and loneliness. So for me,
I would I would get booked on a job and
they would fly me to this other state or country
where there's you know, I don't have any friends, I
don't know anybody, and I'm there for a week and
(04:44):
I just have to just be there alone. And you
almost learned to entertain yourself. And for me, there's definitely
some times where I would notice myself fall into a
slump of just sadness where I just kind of accept it.
It's almost gosh, now that I'm talking about it with
you all, I feel really sad out like right now,
but I feel sad remembering it because I would just
accept it. I would just be like, oh, this is
(05:05):
my life. You know. I don't know how you guys
feel about that. In times if you've experienced onliness in
your own jobs. But for me, now that I'm looking
back on it, I do feel really really intrigued why
I was so willing to accept that lonely feeling and
just sit in it. You know, I wouldn't I wouldn't
practically try to change it because I just kind of said, oh,
(05:26):
this is this is what life is, and this is
what I have to deal with. Yeah, well that's like
the gosh, how how do I say it? The like,
not the issue, but like the one thing the dilemma
of depression or the dilemma of yeah, depression or loneliness
or those kind of like sad states is that you
(05:49):
kind of know what to do in a way get
out of it, but you don't feel like doing it.
So because you don't feel like doing it, you don't
do it, and then it makes it worse and it's
kind of just like this downward spiral that you kind
of need to break out of, you know. Yeah, totally.
And it's funny because I definitely feel like I've felt
lonely with a lot of people as well. You know,
it felt like I'd been around a crowd of people. Everyone.
(06:11):
I feel like everyone's felt that before, but like being
in a group of people and you just feel really
isolated still, And so yeah, I feel that I can
relate to the depression thing pretty hard actually, because it's
almost like an energy thing. Right when you're isolated, you're
like I don't want to be I saw someone posed
to mean, they're like I'm like, oh, I'm depressed. I
should hang out with someone, I'd actually rather be by myself,
(06:32):
And it just kind of keeps the cycle going. I'm
not saying like that's how to fix depression or anything
like that like that, but I just think, yeah, when
we sometimes we do isolate ourselves, whether it's for work
or whether it's just because energy we just don't have
the energy to engage with people. Yeah, it's funny where
we isolate ourselves, even outside of a work context, like
even outside of like oh because I work at home
(06:54):
in my room or whatever. Yeah, I mean I experience
loneliness a lot. Like I don't know the way I
put it is. I am married, yes, like you were saying, Chad,
like we all have our wives, but she doesn't fulfill
the role that my friends fulfill. There. You know, they're
different roles and you need those different parts of your community.
So while yeah, maybe I am less lonely because Jess
(07:18):
is in the house at the same time as me,
I especially me where I kind of im I flip flop.
I don't know if I'm introverted or extroverted or what,
but I know that I need to, like every day,
I want to at least see one other person who
I'm close with, just to like have that interaction communication
(07:40):
with them that I don't know there's I don't know
what it is, but that's like something that I'm learning
about myself and kind of like realizing that for those
of you who work from home and are married and
still have that person you you still have the right
to feel lonely even though you do have that you're
significant out of there. You shouldn't get down on yourself
(08:02):
saying like I shouldn't feel lonely because I have my spouse,
Like you do need that, You do need more community
than just your significant other. Yeah, what you're saying is
so true, because you know, working at home is so
much easier, Like I don't want it to come across like, oh,
it's so hard to work from home because I feel
so blessed to be able to work at home, get
to look after my dog. Like honestly, it's actually the
(08:23):
pros outweigh the negatives, right, But when it comes to loneliness,
I really miss the community of an office or the
energy of an office. And I say to Chelsea all
the time, like, I wish I could just go do
the exactly what I'm doing now, but in the office
next door, Gabe's working there, you know, Like I wish
I could do that have my friends around me, which
(08:45):
is why I took a day at work like a
big part at church, which is why we need to
blow up this podcast guy, so we can afford a
communal workspace. Or Chad Zach and I work in the
same building and everyone's invited. Baby, it's like a thousand
person co working space. Do the d Ramsey where we
have he does his show and then you have the
glass and people are watching. That would be crazy, actually,
(09:07):
But Chadman had what was some of the things that
you found you had to do to kind of navigate
through that loneliness, Like obviously with travel and work and stuff, Like,
what are those kind of things you had to do? Yeah, well,
I think before I say that, I think it's really
important to note that nothing replaces community, right, and so
some of the I think some of the tips I'm
going to share next are just like they're not a replacement.
(09:28):
They can just help in a lonely spot in a pinch. Like,
for example, if you are as torn and Pilots would
say scaled back and isolated, shout out to the new
album Scaled and Icy. If you are scaled back and
iceolated bars, then hopefully some of these things can't help.
Tory and I do a handful of these, and we
think they're hilarious where we will actually put on Like
(09:51):
so there's this like almost like never ending YouTube video.
It's like coffee shop sounds, because have you guys done those? Yeah? Yeah,
where basically you put on this YouTube video this like
six hours long and it's nothing but the sounds of
like coffee shops and like people ordering and coffee things
being set down on the table. And that's something that
(10:11):
it kind of has this subconscious effect where you feel
like you're not just in like this, if you're awkward,
that was that quiet you know what I mean? You
don't feel like you're just completely sever awkward and awkward silence. Well, dude,
that's one thing. That's one thing about totally off topic Americans.
(10:32):
People who aren't Americans say Americans never want any silence
ever when they're in like a conversation or or like
at a dinner or something like that, where like other
cultures are just happy if like you're talking and then
conversation stops and then you're just silent. I've hung out
with you guys too much, but yeah, I've gotten used
(10:52):
to it. Like Jess and I will talk maybe and
then like at dinner and then at just anyway, that's
totally off topic. I just it's just fascinating to me,
like the cultural difference as being American and sheltered in
home school and then going out and being like the
world is different than how so ten number two or
whatever it was. Yeah, well I don't have like a
whole list of tips for this one, you're slacking child.
(11:17):
I wish I did, because, by the way, Zach, how
frustrating was it to edit that one episode where there
was like twelve tips and we re arranged them and everything. Dude,
I didn't even you know, I didn't even bother to
try and arrange them into the right order, because I
just thought it was so funny that you'd be like
tip seven after tip two. Yeah, dude, I have issues,
but there's definitely some things I've had to do, even
(11:39):
to the point where now Tory and I have this
virtual assistant who is just crushing it. She actually listens
to prompt us. That's how she found Tory and I
was through prompt Us shout out Amy, and so she
sometimes what we'll do is is that we will just
face time people, and we're actually scheduling that right now.
(12:00):
We're we're scheduling time room for margin, right and so
I'm sure you guys know about margin. Tory and I
we're just learning about this cool idea called margin, which
gives you room for mistakes, for setbacks, for delays. We're
just figuring out what this thing is. I don't know
why no one told us it before. This is why
we told you to read a centralism. We told you
to read essentialism. Check. I didn't include margin for it, Okay,
(12:24):
I didn't know. I didn't leave room for it. Bro,
if it takes you ten minutes to get somewhere, you
set like twenty minutes in your calendar for it, because
stuff is gonna happen. On the front end, stuff is
gonna happen. Like I don't set meetings back to back
unless like someone else sets them for me and they're
like happen to be at that time. I'm usually like
thirty minutes between each thing. One you do you compress,
(12:44):
but two like you have to get other things done
in the middle and things are going to pop up
and margin baby, yeah. And so when you set that margin,
it leaves room for you to connect to other people,
whither you just want to hop on FaceTime or send
some voice notes. I've even had friends, and I love gosh,
I have the best friends ever, including you both, love you,
love you guys. But I have friends that whenever they're
(13:06):
in their car and they're gonna, you know, in LA traffic,
you're if you're gonna drive to a Starbucks, you're gonna
be driving forty five minutes, right. And so they have
a buddy named Daniel Floren who will do like forty
five second popcorn prayers for people. And he will literally
send you audio message him praying for you for like
a minute, right. And so he's found ways to take
(13:28):
that take that isolation that he's experiencing in that moment
and turn it into something good. And so I guess
the reason I mentioned there's two different examples is because
on one hand, if you just need some extra noise
in the background, whether it's a TV or the sound
of a coffee shop or whatever, that sometimes can help
when you're feeling a little bit down because subconsciously silences.
Can you know, how's that torn pilot sign go, tornpilot
(13:51):
sign goes? Sometimes silence can be violence. Is that how
it goes? You guys don't talking about I think yeah,
And so I know that for a lot of us,
if we do struggle with loneliness and depression, then silence
can be something that can really scare us, right, And
so having those those little things to kind of in
the background where we don't feel isolated, can really help.
(14:11):
But then there's also if we are stuck at home,
we have to realize how important it is for us
to have community. Like I think, yeah, I think that's well, dude,
Just to go back on your on your last thing
real quick, just to add to it. What I tend
to do is when you're when you're working from home,
you're like in the same space that you've been in
since you woke up and you're going to be until
(14:33):
you fall asleep, and that is a very isolating factor
in it. So I always try and create margin to
go on walks between things, like probably every two hours,
I'll like, whether it's going on a walk or just
stepping outside or doing something that is like actually stepping
out of the walls that you're confined in. Is it's
(14:55):
just like a mental disconnect from that space. So then
you can kind get a refresh reset. Getting sun, I
find is a really good refresh for some reason. Yeah,
I don't know why. I sorry, had to burp. It
was there. I had to do it. Yeah, it's a
really good refresh, just like going out getting some sun,
stepping outside. He's in the UK, so I don't know
(15:15):
how much sun he's getting, but it's sun. But yeah,
just like having disconnect from the walls that can find you,
So then you come back into the space a little
bit more refreshed. That's something like as far as like
small little practical tipsy kind of alleviate the sense of
loneliness in that space. Anyway, chat your tip number five. Yeah,
(15:38):
well no, I I think before I go back to
tip number fourteen, Ladies and gentlemen, ladies, and June, I
want to personally apologize for Gabe. Zach and I are
sorry for his conduct. I'm not sorry own second hand
(16:07):
embarrassment right now, and and call just shut this camera right.
But I was gonna say to build off number sevens.
A number seven would be, you know, if you can
break it up a few days a week where if
(16:29):
you can go work at a coffee shop, even I
don't know some people's jobs you have to be on
what's it called, like a VPN, you know what I mean.
You have to have certain things to protect, like the
privacy of your business or whoever you're working for, so
obviously you want to respect all those things. But even
if you can just be around people sometimes that helps.
I liked what Zach said earlier, because we can't experience
loneliness and depression even if we are surrounded by people.
(16:52):
But if we are feeling lonely, taking the small steps
just to be in an atmosphere where other people, it
can help, right that is. I mean, it's gonna cure
every single problem, but it does help. But then now
fast forward, it depends on your I would to add
to that, it also depends on your personality type too,
like what kind of people you need to be around,
(17:12):
because there's some people who are like, oh I need
to be around people, and then it's like seven friends
they get you know what I mean? Or just like
you just need the one person to just sit there
with you, yeah and do work and just do work
as well, and you don't need you just need to
be around that one person who you fully trust. Yeah,
you know it just depending on your personality type. Yeah,
(17:33):
And I just wanted to add that as like, because
I know we're all relatively we're all relative hype lords,
you know, so like you don't want to like I
didn't hear your Chad's introverted. You're you're definitely introverted, right Yeah, Yeah, yeah,
I'm I'm I'm like one hundred percent extra. Yeah. Games
(17:54):
in the middle, I love it. We're just like taking
them one side to the other. No, But so I
when I took the Myers breaks, saying way back when
my professor who examined the results, she was like, chat,
I think you're an extroverted introvert, And I'm like, what
does that mean? She's like, you love people, but you
don't always love being around them. I'm like, Okay, yeah,
I can see that, you know, because I actually really
do enjoy being alone, where my my like battery gets
(18:16):
charged with me being alone. And yeah, that's that's the
same with me, Like I need to be around people
for like, I don't know, I do need to be
around people, and then once that's a portion of time
is done, I then need to be alone. Yeah, like
I do need both. I could go back to back
hey for my wife, I would literally be like I'd
(18:38):
just hang around with people every day, which is a
weird challenge for working at home because my personality type
inherently wants me to go be with people every day. Yeah,
and that's a practical tip I want to throw in there,
which I think just adds what I've been doing. That's
what you guys are saying, is like I split up
my day with like coffee with someone. I mean, it's yeah,
it's not flipping financially great to be smashing coffee every day.
(18:59):
It's a but it helps split in the day. No,
no, no no, still it's worth I'm going to say that
is worth the financial investment if it is for like
your mental health, just spending the you know, still expensive now,
like spending five bucks on a coffee. But but to
add to that, one thing that I have found is
setting like an end time limit on things. So if
(19:22):
I know I'm going to get a coffee or lunch
with this person at this time, it mentally allows myself
I don't know why, but knowing that that's there and
knowing like the goal essentially that I'm working towards, like oh, yeah,
I have to work the next three hours till this time.
Then I get to go have a coffee with someone.
(19:43):
And then once you're back, you're like, oh, I only
have to work this much more time before it's the
end of the day. I put things away and then
maybe you're going to grab dinner with someone so I
don't know, or someone comes over at night or whatever
it is. But having those like kind of easier time
chunks to handle, and then that goes into the whole
thing that we talked about with like efficiency with work
on setting like fifty minutes of work, ten minute break
(20:06):
when I edit I have to do. I'm on the
alarm all the time on my phone, Like set a
fifty minute timer, put it down, work for fifty minutes
when it rings, set a ten minute timer and then
I'll step outside and it's just like setting those kind
of like time increments. Yes, really for myself, maybe it's
that personality type, but I would strongly encourage you, encourage
(20:28):
you to try it in the small scale like those hours,
or in the bigger scale, like like with you. I
know you go and work at your church on Wednesdays,
so you know that you need to get through Monday
and Tuesday of working here by yourself before you're in
that environment of halfway through the week exactly. So it's
like in the small increments of you know, an hour
(20:50):
or an hour or two, or in the bigger increments
of like several days, or even in bigger increments in general,
because I know, even on a project level, it's much
easier for me to work on something if I know
that there's like an end cap to fulfilling what that
project is. Anyway, that's my tangent. No, those Chad Chap
number nineteen. I'm gonna give you just a tip. I
(21:19):
can never edit it in. Every time you say it,
I'm like, okay, time to cut around. I put a
plug in. It just cuts out every time you say that. Dude,
you could leave it in, I could leave it in. Okay,
now we're back in. Chad made an inappropriate joke that
we're we've been debating for the past five minutes whether
or not we may have cut it out. So if
you're hearing this audio of me talking right now, this
(21:40):
is from whatever said before then the cut. I think
something that it's really important for us all to know,
especially those who people who maybe like me or if
they flip flopped like you gave in terms of just
being extroverted, is that I still need people in my life.
And I didn't realize how deeply I needed people until
(22:01):
recently actually, which you know, I love, gosh, oh my gosh.
I love that we get to we get to air
out our dirty laundry with our audience, like live right.
I love that because this is not like three guys
sitting around who know everything and we're just sharing all
this wisdom like oh, like, enjoy it. No, it's like
we're figuring things out as we go. No, we're absolutely
(22:23):
figuring things out as we go. And I know that
I have two sets of accountability friends right now, and
I know that people are thinking of themselves they're just
like accountability friends, Like wow, nice Christian word, Chad, but
I mean accountability. I that's odd. What's happen. I didn't
hear our spinoff podcast, Accountability Bros. Yeah, I Accountaby. That's
(22:46):
actually so good. So I was hanging out with my
my buddy Ben who lives in Tampa, Florida, and he
was sharing with me just the the importance of like
reading God's word and to not substitute just devotionals or whatever.
He's like, you actually got to spend time in the Word,
and I was like, yeah, actually, I agree with you.
I feel like I've been avoiding it a little bit.
Functory short Now we text each other a daily that
(23:09):
we've like completed, you know, these chapters that we're doing together.
And now I've jown ability. Now I've joined the beach
Bob Babes with you all in Denny. That yet, guy,
and I love it because even though I haven't, I
don't know when the last time I saw you guys
were I mean, Gabe, but what was it like three
months ago, four months ago? I don't know. It's been
(23:31):
the last podcast recording session that we did in person,
which would have been crazy April. Yeah, It's it's been
a minute, right, but I still feel close to you,
and same thing for you. I mean, I talked to
you every day. So yeah, dude. By the way, I
got a shout zack down real quick. It's so funny
hearing him about how powerfully extroverted he is. So we'll
(23:53):
be talking about work stuff blah blah blah blah, and
I'm like, all r dude, I'm gonna get ready for work.
He's like, Okay, I can tell he doesn't want to
hang up, and I'm like, so, so what's going on.
He's like, oh, yeah, man, I'm just you know, just dude.
That is so funny. That's hilarious because when Zach and
(24:13):
I talk, I'm like, getting me off the phone is
like Jess in the corner kind of like, I'm me down,
Like we have to go, we need to step out
the door. And I'm like, all right, remember wait one
more thing. Like literally, I'm pretty sure we were facetiming yesterday.
There was multiple things I still wanted to say that
I didn't get. Every time game books in a conversation
(24:34):
with us, it's like all hour each side of a
twenty minute conversation. It's smart. You should play a margin
for your so twenty minute FaceTime, an hour on the
front end and now on the back end for margin.
So I'm going to share with you why all that
accountability matters after this ad. So we have this, uh
this text group called the Beach Bobbabes where we keep
each other accountable to do this. Guys name name is
(24:58):
in progress. Beach about Babes was when I put the
group chat together. When I put the group chat together,
I tried to think of something funny and that was
the best that came out. So if you have any suggestions, oh,
head to our website. Prompt does podcast dot com leave
your suggestions for out fitting his career? I love it,
just constant plugs. But what's cool is is that before
(25:23):
I had you all helped me with accountability for Jim
stuff my buddy been with accountability and getting into God's word.
I thought it was fine, you know, because I'm an introvert,
so like I'm good alone. I can handle it like
I actually I enjoy being alone. And so what's wild
is is my life has gotten significantly better the past
month by doing this with you all, Like it's been
an absolute blast for me to like to work towards
(25:47):
a common goal with people that I love. I feel
like I'm becoming a better person. And so what's nice
is is that even though I feel okay being alone,
I didn't realize how much I was missing out on
by having good community and brothers to like push me forward.
And that's just been a great lesson for me recently,
just because I I it's something I didn't know I needed.
And I think a lot of us whither you are
(26:07):
extroverted or introverted, whatever, you know, all that stuff, it's
just it just describes you, doesn't define you. We all
go through ebbs and flows of like who we feel
as a person we are. But I can't I can't
explain to you guys how how thankful I am to
have had people in my life to walk with to
feel like I'm growing as a person. And that's just
(26:27):
so special. Oh wow, I'm not crying, Yeah, you're crying.
Freaking distance, bro, freaking distance, bro, dude waiting. I'm waiting
for the first podcast where we get to actually all
be together. I feel like the rooms it's just gonna
(26:47):
be so much like, where's so much energy? Right, Oh
my gosh, Chris Pratt's going to be there. On the
books and Matthew McConaughey Wilson elon Musk. Maybe he'll join you.
We wait, wait, I have I have something serious to say.
(27:09):
So this is something I'm kind of embarrassed about right now.
But something I would do whenever I was traveling and
I was alone all the time is I would practice
impressions because you're in the hotel room alone, and so
I would just walk around the room practicing impressions. And
I wanted to ask us, first off, can y'all do
any impressions? Not he can only do the npot yet.
Oh yeah, I can't. I don't. You have to feed
(27:32):
me stuff and then I just have to try it,
and I'm like, oh that works. But there's not like
a specific one, like my brother can do Obama really well?
And it's like you go to, like, dude, do the
Obama impression. He can like do it really well, like
I can't. You can also do Trump really well, which
is hilarious. Yeah, he just he just does all the presidents. Yeah,
he like does an impersonation of every president from like
(27:53):
one to forty what is it forty six now? But anyway,
I don't even what can you do chat real quick. Well,
first off, I haven't I'm not practiced at all right now,
so if you ask me to do them, they're going
to be terrible. I'm gonna get roasted for doing these.
But I can do Bane from Batman. I can do
Christopher Walking. I used to try Owen Wilson, which which
is what made me think of this, and Matthew McConaughey too.
(28:16):
Oh Wilson isn't low key? Yeahs so funny. But the
thing is I can't do the impression of him and
the one in Matthew McConaughey because the lines I always
say won't make the cut on the podcast. Wait wait,
why are we talking about impressions? No, I was just
you know, chat. But it's interesting. I can wrap it.
I can bring it background, right, okay, which we've had
(28:38):
impressions because what are the things that you used to
do when you would buy yourself just to kind of
keep you Chad would do impressions? Right, Yeah, absolutely, background,
let's go there we go, Okay, just give us one
eye and one everyone sitting sitting here like the impressions
tip tip number forty three was not a good team. Well,
(29:00):
I guess it does. Help to be able to entertain
yourself and not. I just wanted to reference a tip
being number forty something. Oh wait, I do actually have
a good tip. Yeah, good for it. So I think
I think once. I think. Something that's important to recognize
if you are experiencing loneliness from working from home is
that like you have to take your thoughts captive. This
(29:21):
is something we talk about a lot. I don't know
if we mentioned it on an episode thus far, but
y'all care if I plugged torn and Pilots again real quick? Yeah,
just for the third time this episode. Yeah, they're gonna
be a guest in the future too. So all I'm
saying is is that they created this album called Blurry Face,
(29:41):
and Blury Face was basically almost like a how do
I say, like a I don't say manifestation. By the way,
is that is that your dog? It's usually my dog
on your side of the bro I am stairs in
a closed room and that's like that's loud. Oh my goodness.
Oh yeah, dude, he lights out the whole house when
(30:02):
he sees a squirrel outside. Everyone else, Oh my god.
So basically they came out with this, uh this album
called blurry face. And basically Tyler Joseph was struggling with
his own internal dialogues and I just see, I can
see what you guys are doing. You're hilarious, Like I
(30:23):
cannot no, we just are We don't have enough leg space,
so I'm like spreading my legs. So Zach and like,
oh my gosh, what this episode is a lover please keeping.
So basically what Tyler Joseph did is he gave his
insecurities a name because and we've talked about this before,
but you want to make sure you know who's talking
to you. And so if you are experiencing loneliness, you
(30:45):
do need to take those thoughts you're feeling inside of
your loneliness and take them captive and dissect them and
process them in a healthy way. And there's a tons
of ways you can do that. Where sometimes you're experiencing
lonliness because you actually haven't had time with people, right,
That's like that's a thing you to have time with people.
Sometimes you're experiencing loneliness because you don't How do I
say this in an appliway because I never want to
(31:07):
upset people, but I do know it is possible for
us to use people for our own entertainment. And for example,
if you get home from work and you text thirty people, like,
that's a sign that you just need attention, okay. And
so I do want to kind of clarify that there
is a difference between actually feeling lonely and feeling like
(31:28):
negative about yourself and someone who's just kind of needs
to be constantly distracted. And I would say to that person,
by the way, I'm not attacking you, I would say
it would be really good for you to process those
thoughts whenever you are lone, like turn your phone off
and like just spend time by yourself, getting to know yourself.
Because I remember Gabe drop this fact in an episode
(31:49):
one time. Gosh, it blew my mind. He was like,
you need to have a PhD and your wife and
I was like, I was like who, Like I genuinely shocked.
Like Gabe said a lot of things to me that
are super encouraging, and why is I'm just like, God,
why I'm older than you? Shut up like and I'm like,
how do you know all this stuff? But that was
one that just absolutely blew me out of the way.
(32:10):
But I also want people to know that you need
to have a PhD in yourself. You need to know yourself.
You need to be aware of what are your temptations,
where are your struggles, what are things you're good at,
what are things you're not good at? You need to
know yourself. And the only way you know yourself is
by spending time with yourself. And if you're constantly seeking
escapism from yourself, that's a sign that you should maybe
(32:31):
maybe find a way to process your thoughts with yourself,
either with the counselor who knows. This video is sponsored
by counseling. Can you imagine that was one giant plug
for a counseling thing. But no, I think you'd be
really good for people to process your thoughts with somebody
if you feel like you're constantly distracting yourself from yourself. Yes,
(32:52):
well yeah, I mean I was just going to add
I love what you're saying, Chad, because that's not in
a work context. What you're saying is purely out of
just wanting to be more self aware of what you
need as a person day to day, right without the
pressure of work. And I think that's super cool. That
actually makes me think that I need to do that more.
I need to have more moments in the margins, you know,
(33:12):
or create margins during my week where I acknowledge what
I what the week was like in and out of work,
so that when I work in the week coming up,
I'm prepared. You know, I've talked about it is the
the like what Jess and I do. Yes on every
week we have our family team meeting, but then we
do you guys, reflect on the week at the start
(33:33):
of it, we just talk about emotionally where we're feeling
and what happened with our emotions that week and how Yeah,
just an emotional check in for that week. That's awesome. Yeah, man,
I mean it is it this whole thing. It's so
crazy because a lot of people like the segment, which
is what obviously why we started this podcast, because there's
(33:54):
so many like segment segmentations in life, like oh, this
is my bucket for you know, my personal life, and
then this is my bucket for work, and then this
is my bucket for you know, just like separating those things,
but they're all so tied together. And like knowing how
you operate emotionally, like knowing yourself and having a PhD
(34:14):
in yourself like you were saying, Chad, and understanding what
makes you tick, the way you respond to things emotionally,
the way you just handle situations goes across everything, you
know what I mean. It's going to change the way
you can like optimize working from home so that you
(34:36):
can be most efficient with your work but also be
most efficient with yourself, you know, or be most I
don't know if efficient is the word, but like like
beneficial to yourself and your emotions and stuff like that.
So this is something we're getting to a point where
we've kind of opened this conversation that can't be answered
(34:58):
by someone else. Yes, you need to kind of do
your own like self research on yourself, and you know
how do you And there's a bunch of tips that
we can give and we've given them throughout the episode,
like giving yourself margin go on, you know, take time,
set time parameters on things, whatever. But those are things
(35:19):
like for me, I'm giving tips that I do myself
because I know it helps me, you know what I mean,
And you kind of need to figure out what is
going to help Yeah, yeah, Well I like what Chad
said about seeing someone seeing a counselor, Like that's an
awesome way to just build that self away in this
straight away. Having someone reflect with you. Yeah, it's massive.
And when I went and saw a psychologist for the
(35:39):
first time, she really had to make sure that I
knew because of my personality type. If I'm with people
all weekend, Saturday, Sunday church, hanging with friends, doing all this,
all this kind of crazy stuff, pull the hype because
I'm the hype. It's real. But if I'm doing all
this when it gets to Monday and I'm working alone
at home, think about the difference between a Sunday night
(35:59):
hanging out with everyone and a Monday morning. Like in energy,
it's like a drop, And she said, it's not that
you can't deal with it at the bottom, it's the
speed at which you descend, because you're coming from a
top all the way to the bottom so quick. One
day you're hanging out with twenty people and you love
all them. The next day you're alone, isolated, staring at
your computer. She's like, it's not a big surprise that
(36:21):
you struggle that next day. In the same way, I've
noticed that if I've spent all like if I spend
all week down here, it actually takes a long time
for me to ramp up to hanging with people, I
have to build into like hanging out with people, and
so I just think big conscious of those two different spots.
You know, it's obviously not one hundred and zero. It's
obviously that even ninety percent or whatever in that space.
(36:42):
But for me, my personality required me to ease down.
So instead Monday morning, I'll do a phone call with someone,
I'll try and meets halfway fifty percent do coffee on
a Monday morning, so that instead of going from like
all the time in the world with people to no
time at all, It's yeah, there's just a little bit
of a kind of a middle ground. Does that make sense? Yeah? Yeah, no,
that makes so much. But I just saw saying about
(37:02):
that when Chatter and then what you were talking about
feed out which you descend. That's the name of my
next album, Zack out Here Stealing Chats Thunder with with
the lines not even my psychologist. I love it. I
just I pictured Zack's album cover with him jumping off
a cliff just like just like this, it's just us
(37:25):
l song one is going to be like, I think
it's important for people just to think about, Okay, why
am I experiencing onelyiness? Is this because I'm actually living
in an isolated time like what we did all last
(37:47):
year and what we're still experiencing this year, right, And
I can't I can't connect with my co workers. I
am I'm not around people all the time. And you
know this, this was such a shock to us, and
we see it in different spikes and people's mental health.
You're seeing it the after effects of a post twenty
twenty life, right, So I think it's really important to
just recognize, am I am I feeling lonely because I'm
(38:09):
actually lonely? Or am I feeling lonely because I just
want to keep riding that high like what Zach was
mentioning of being around people all the time. And so
I think once we unpack that within ourselves, like what
Gabe was saying, we can start building in little habits
that can create a big difference in our life, whether
it's you know, going to a coffee shop two times
a week and I have, by the way, I'm sure
(38:30):
you guys have this too, but I have friends at
practice this like torn I actually put on that jazz
coffee shop music in the background of our home just
that way. That we feel like we're you know, we
have something a little bit more, and we actually do
schedule facetimes with people just that way. We were getting
that one on one time. And now that I have
the beach bobbabes and I have my buddy Ben, I'm
doing that, I'm reading the Bible with it really does
(38:52):
help me in those times where I do feel more isolated.
My cup is still full. And so I think it's
also important to remember you may experienced dry spells in
your work where it's not filling your cup, and that's
okay because, as Gay was saying, we have a bunch
of buckets, right, and not every single bucket needs to
be totally fooled all times. And if you do need
(39:13):
to plan out and look forward to that lunch with
a friend in between a work that's pretty isolating, that's okay.
And you do need to invest in that. Like if
it means spending six bucks on a coffee a day,
yeah it's six bucks. Yes, that's a lot of money
over a year, But like, if you're not going to
spend money on your mental health, what are you going
to spend money on? Thank you guys so much for
(39:34):
tuning into this episode of prompt Us. And remember you
can follow us apt prompt Us Podcasts on Instagram. That's
our handle app prompt Us podcast and that is where
you can submit prompts that will be topics that we
discuss in future episodes. Appreciate you guys, tons, and we'll
talk again in the next one. Prompt Us is a
production of iHeart Radio. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio,
(39:56):
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
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