February 20, 2024 • 35 mins
Rachel addresses the fact that she continues to be a storyline this season. She is even rather shocked by what she is seeing in the episode.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
This is Rachel gos Rogue. Hey guys, and welcome to
chapter ten of Rachel Goes Rogue. This is Rachel Savannah Levis,
and I have quite a lot to say on this
week's episode of vander Pump Rules. If you are new here,
I wanted to personally welcome you. I'm happy that you're
(00:27):
here to listen to what I have to say since
I'm not a part of season eleven of vander Pump
Roles this year, and I'm like in the mix still
because people keep talking about me and it does affect me.
This was a really heavy episode for me to watch
(00:50):
Episode three of vander Pump Rules. It was a lot.
I wasn't expecting for some of these topics to be
talked in the way that they were. It really took
me off guard and I really couldn't sleep. My mind
was racing, and I just you know, I had so
(01:10):
much to say, and I had to remind myself, like
it's gonna be okay. Like I have this opportunity on
my own podcast to speak whatever's in my heart and
whatever's on my mind in a true authentic way. So
I'm very grateful to have this podcast to be able
to express my opinions and my emotions and feelings that
(01:34):
come up through this. So thank you for being here.
Let's get into episode three. I have my publicist here
with me. She'll be asking me some questions, and I
have a lot to say about it all on my
own as well. So we're going to get right into it,
but I'm going to hand it over to my publicist.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
All right, Well, let's just dig right in.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
So a few of the articles that have been out there,
who's been about Tom saying that you him off and
it was all about optics. He feels abandoned. He makes
a really big deal about you not texting him on
his birthday.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
What was that timeline? And why didn't you reach out?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Okay, So I feel like there's two things to address
in that question. The first is the optics statement. And
he said this, if I recall correctly, he said it
during the after show. He said, Rachel's publicist kept saying optics, optics, optics,
and I've actually never heard my publicis say optics before.
(02:36):
That's more of a Tom sanderbal phrase. In fact, when
we were caught lying about the Jacuzzi incident and Lisa
was asking him about it, and he wanted to come
up with a story to cover up for it. He
kept saying, Look, it's not good optics for you to
(02:58):
be over at my house in the Jacuzi so optics, optics, optics.
It's definitely something that Tom san Evolve would say. So
the reason why I didn't reach out to him, we
officially stopped communication when he went to Special Forces, and
I was encouraging him to go because that would allow
(03:19):
for me to have more of a clear mind. And
this was towards the end of my treatment. This was
after I received that friendship lamp and the note. So yeah,
I decided that I wasn't going to contact him again.
(03:40):
And I think he was expecting for me to reach
out because I got out of the meadows July third,
and his birthday, I believe, is July seventh, So I
think he was expecting for me to reach out to him.
I didn't reach out to him, and he was not
(04:01):
too thrilled about that.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
I have some things to say about that publicists claiming
optics were important, because first and foremost, him saying you've
dumped him because I told you to do so for
any reason, is actually taking the power away from you,
which is a decision that you made through treatment. So
I think that is first a really big deal because
(04:25):
that was your choice and your power when you came
into your own more so through treatment. Secondly, what was
there for me to be concerned with about the optics? Basically,
you had an anxiety breakdown on the show for millions
to see. You were outed having an intimate moment to
the world and humiliated being filmed without your permission. You
(04:48):
were exposed to having an unfair Despite apologizing multiple times,
you were still bullied, berated, dehumanized, berated by a group
of people that had cheated with.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Each other, boyfriends, Mary full everything else.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
You checked into an inpatient center for three months to
do the work, and the.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Bullying didn't stop.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
They purposefully cast out that you were getting treatment. They
were called the liar on cast podcasts. They told the
world you were a spot the cast, the network. None
of them would tell the truth that they knew, despite
me showing them proof and begging them.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
To post where you actually were.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I asked them to support you forgetting help and to
stop the hate.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I told them that you had death.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Threats and watch what happened live if you remember and
he asked the cast members where they thought you were
when they knew.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Exactly where you were.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
You were damaged and broken when you were in there,
and thank goodness you've got the help and did the work,
because it could have been a very different outcome for you.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Right, So at the end of the day.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I was concerned with the truth. We always put out
the truth. We put the truth to the press, we
put the truth out to the public. So the network,
we always stood for the truth. And my only concern
at that point was to get better.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
What optics?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
So I have a question for you. I know you
were encouraging the network to say that I was actually
at a treatment facility and not at a SPA. Is
there a reason why you didn't release a statement saying
that I was at a treatment facility on your own
to get that out there? We did.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
We actually, if you would call well too so too hard?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
How they could have done it was not only just
in a statement.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Remember all the mediums they have, whether it's E News,
whether it's you know, the Bravo sites. All I did
was ask them to reput our statement out there. We
had already put the statement when the person that left
the Meadows.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
How did you. Yeah, that's when we had to put
the statement out.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Yeah, so, and that's I've been doing this for twenty
four years and never have I put a statement out
and then been called a liar. And then especially that's
something so serious, right, It's not about an opinion, it's
about a running. It's not about who's dating who or
who's breaking up. This was, you know, a very serious situation.
(07:04):
But they refused to put it out there, and they
perpetuated the SPA thing.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah, so the SPA thing overtook any of our statements.
I think we even requested for Bravo to tell the
cast members who were going on the podcast every week
saying that they know for a fact that I'm at
a SPA, to stop saying that, and they said, we
(07:31):
don't have any power over the cast to prevent them
from saying whatever they want on their podcasts.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
So Lisa claims that it was shocking and triggering for
her because of her the history of mental.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Health and her brother and now her concern for Tom.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
How did that make you feel to see her react
to him.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I feel like Lisa has extended her resources to Tom
more than I've ever seen that extended to me and
that concern for me, And so I'm not surprised by
it because I feel like it's pretty typical for Lisa
to really like take the men under her wing and
(08:17):
make sure that the men are okay, but she doesn't
really care about the women on the show as much.
Like to me my perception of it, it seems like
the women are more disposable to her, and she has
invested in the Tom Tom name and has business with Sandobal.
(08:38):
So yeah, it's like, Okay, if you were really concerned
about Tom having dark thoughts, like you had to have
considered my mental state of mind as well because we
were both going through the same thing at the same time.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Did she ever reach out to you?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
No, she didn't, and she didn't care what my mental
state was when she pulled that whole Gram situation on me.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
As a producer on the show, Do you think that
she had a responsibility to treat him and talk equally
when it came to mental.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Health support, Well, I feel like Lisa does have a
responsibility and production does have responsibility to treat the cast
equally when it comes to caring for their mental health.
And you can't like preach that and then only apply
it to one person, or pick and choose who you're
(09:35):
going to extend that care to. Yeah, so I don't
think that that was right.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
And if you sat down with her today, what would
you have to say to her?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I would ask her why she felt the need to
lie and say that I surrendered my dog out a
kill shelter and put that in the press. I would say,
what was your intention in doing that? Was it to
make me the ultimate villain so you could save your
precious Tom Sandoval. But the thing that actually in that scene,
(10:08):
the thing that bothered me the most was Tom talking
about the podcast that Sheena had Nima on And when
I saw that clip, I immediately was like, why did
he need to bring this up? If he knew how
(10:28):
much that affected my mental well being? Why would he
bring it up on national television for everybody to know about.
And it's been months and months and months since that
episode came out on Shana's podcast, and so people have
forgotten about it. But now that you're bringing it up
on camera addressing these rumors that impacted me so horribly.
(10:56):
I just felt like it was like, what the hell,
Like that's up for you to do? Like I really
I don't know what his thought process was, because his
point was that Sheena has been vindictive and bringing our name,
dragging it through the mud, and it's affected him. But
(11:18):
the example he gave was something that she said about me.
So I just felt like that was very unnecessary. Why
did Shena need to go into all the details, Why
did Nima need to go into all the details? Like
I could just picture it. She is very upset obviously
about the tro and she was hyping up all of
(11:40):
our mutual friends to talk about me and divulge personal stories.
So I'm sure Nima was hyped up and in this
state of like, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna put it
all out there the point of the podcast, which I
didn't listen to until yesterday because that when I found
(12:03):
out about it, it put me in such a dark place.
I just wanted to push it and suppress it and
completely pretend like it didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I think, can you explain who Mima is or was?
Speaker 1 (12:20):
So Nima is this guy who Sena set me up
with to go on a date. He was on Shaws
of Sunset, and Sheena likes to network and stay in
touch with a lot of the cast on different shows,
and so she figured since I was in a rut
(12:42):
and not interested in dating, that she would set me
up with someone who she thought was a reliable person
to take me on a good date. And Hannah Berner's
wedding was coming up, and she was like, well, you know,
it's a possibility that he could ask you to Hannah
Berner's wedding and then you can come with me and
Brock and it could be like a full fun thing.
(13:02):
And I was like, okay, yeah, that sounds fun. So
we stated, I mean, if you can even call it dating.
We hung out a few times and we were like
voice memoing each other over text. And the thing that
I liked about Nima was that he really encouraged me
(13:25):
to use my voice. And this was at a time
when I was still self conscious about the way my
voice sounded, so nothing came of it, Like we both
were kind of like in this mental space of this
is a casual thing. But yeah, Sheina really pushed for
that to come into fruition, and then she's like using
(13:48):
it against me to say that I'm some type of
promiscuous woman.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
James was featured a lot too write so he shockingly
had very mild things.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
To say regarding Tom. Right there was like all this
energy but nothing very when on Whatch what Happens Like,
that's when.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Andy asked him about the podcast. Are you surprised that
his demeanor was so calm?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
No, I'm not surprised because I think he kind of
ignores a lot of what's happening in the press, Like
he doesn't get to him in a way because he
doesn't give it his attention. So I highly doubt that
he's listening to my podcast.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
And then he also said that Tom's revelation that he
still loves for Quel gave him the thoughts on James
still having feelings about this?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
How does that make you feel?
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Thoughts on James having feelings about this? I mean, I
understand the ick heart because our whole friend group like
saw Tom and Ariana together as like in it for
the long haul, no matter like what their relationship was at.
And I'm hesitant to even talk about this stuff because
(15:14):
I know you guys have a lot of opinions on it.
But yeah, I think because you wouldn't really picture Tom
with me, and that concept is icky.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Episode.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
In the actual episode, James and Sandival have a heat
of conversation about betrayal, and it seems like he's still
very hurt by Sandoval's actions. Do you find it odd
that he's seemingly in a relationship where he claims to
be the happiest he's ever been, but yet it still
feels betrayed by Sandoval?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah, I mean, is he the happiest he's ever been?
That's only for him to say, but yeah, I think
he was just kind of throwing that in my face
to make me feel bad when he said that he's
the happiest he's ever been. Oh, she's the love of
my life. James looked up to Tom as someone he admired,
(16:15):
and Tom was there for him when James was always
the underdog and really encouraged James to be a part
of filming, even though their friendship wasn't like a close friendship.
But James admired Tom and he didn't think that Tom
would be capable of doing this, and James and I
(16:37):
were engaged, So yeah, I can see how it's a betrayal.
I think maybe comparing James to Ariana, it doesn't quite equate,
even though the dynamics are similar. It's interesting Yeah, do you.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Think that james anger has less to do with you
and more to do with his own friendship?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I think it has less to do with me because
I I don't know if it aired or not, but
I remember filming where he called me and I picked
up and he said, I'm less mad at you and
I'm more mud at Tom. I think James's anger had
more to do with his friendship with Tom and his
(17:20):
idea of who Tom really was, and since that perception
was shattered, I think he was perhaps like grieving that friendship.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, how long ago did your relationship with James end?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
It ended December twenty twenty one.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Because do you find it at all odd that he
still does get so angry or charged up to when he's.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Talking about you?
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Because I think even as a viewer, lots of people
comment and say, is he just not over or is
it just that he Tom had had you and he
didn't did that going or something strange there.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I think James is just an anger person, like things
will will rub him the wrong way and he'll take
things very personally. So I mean it doesn't really surprise me.
I've seen him angry a lot.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
And then his reaction in the episode versus on Watch
It Happens Live?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
And that calmness he had on the after show is
that interesting to.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Not really, because he kind of lives in his own world.
I think the anger came up in that moment for
him and he expressed it, and now that it's been
months later, he's like he doesn't really care as much,
and that's what we see on his most recent appearance
on Watch What Happens Live. I do want to talk
about though, Like I do think it's interesting that Tom
(18:47):
is holding the Christen thing over James's head, yet Tom
has gone out of his way to help plan James's
proposal to me and like drop money on that. And
I think a lot of people are confused by that too.
A lot of people suspect that Tom and I were
seeing each other while James and I were together. That
(19:10):
is false. I asked Tom about why he was so
invested emotionally and financially in James's proposal to me, and
he said that it was because of the show that
he felt like because we were in a COVID season
and there wasn't a lot going on that he felt
(19:34):
if he put money down to make this extravagant thing.
It would look great for cameras and it would contribute
to the overall success of the show.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
How did that make you feel hearing that?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
You know, it was interesting because even I was questioning him.
I was like, so were you into me back then,
because you does it contributes so much? And he was like, no, no, no, no, no,
it wasn't like that. It was just for the show.
And I was like, Okay, so this guy really cares
(20:12):
about the success of the show and taking a step
back and looking at it now, I can see how
the show is like his higher power and it controls
a lot of his decisions in life.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
So on the episode, Sheen had a conversation with Tom
back to the restaurant and he brought up the podcast
guest meeting Mima, and it appeared that he had your back.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
He was saying that it should have.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Been more about the comment about the open relationship rather than.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Me going into all the detail he did. How do
you feel watching that back, seeing him defend you.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
In on my do you feel that was zir I
was actually happy that he was defending me in that
moment because what he said was accurate. That when I
found out about that podcast that Sina recorded with Nima.
I was in the meadows and my mom told me
(21:24):
about it, and she was like, hey, I just want
you to know that Sina had Niema on and I
already knew at this point that Shea was talking about
me every single day, it seemed like, and so it
just threw me off. And my mom said they were
(21:45):
talking about explicit sexual things with your sexual life, and
my mind just went spinning because I didn't know what
was being said. I was just thinking the absolute worst,
and when you are in intimate relations with somebody, usually
(22:12):
that remains between the two of you, and so I
was pretty surprised that Nima would talk on that and
speak about that, especially because Nima was upset at me
when I went on Sheena's podcast and talked about our
date that I went on and how it went, and
(22:35):
Sina was like picking for that and encouraging me to
speak on it. I didn't think that I said anything bad,
but he was like, you, you know, like I'm a business
professional and people are looking at me and when they
hear things like this, it looks bad on me. So
he was scolding me for opening up about that dating
(22:55):
situation and how it went down.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
So this is indicative.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, possibly he's trying to get back at me for
painting him in a bad light, which I don't think
it was a bad light. I thought it was also
very interesting that Nima said on Sina's podcast that people
need to lay off Tom Sandoval and that he's going
(23:21):
through a lot right now. And you can't you know,
people are talking about mental health, this mental health that,
yet they're like going in on Tom Sandoval and we
really have to think about how this is affecting his
well being. But Rachel, let's get into it. Let's tear
this girl up, because she's not a human, right.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Did Nima ever reach out after the podcast or to
date as he reached out?
Speaker 1 (23:49):
No?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
And then, in your opinion, do you think.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
That Tom brought this stuff up on camera because it
was his only new chance to confront Sheena indefend you
or was it self serving to clear his own name
about his story?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
He claims with false interesting question. I don't know, like,
was it to be spiteful to me because I didn't
reach out to him on his birthday and that's why
he wanted to bring it up. Maybe maybe it was
like he really did want Sheena to know how it
(24:22):
affected me. I didn't address it sooner because it's something
that I already processed through. But it is not okay
for somebody else to tell other people that they have
expressed feelings of not wanting to live anymore. Tom already
(24:44):
brought this up about me on Tamra and Teddy's podcast
to Teas in a Pod.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
And.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
That one I really went in deep processing with my
therapist because it was like, whoa, why are you talking
about this personal information that was like privy to only
your ears, Like this is a vulnerable topic of vulnerable
position for me to be sharing with you, and you're
(25:16):
like telling Teddy and Tamra and whoever else is listening
to this popular podcast that I have had dark thoughts.
But the way that he said it too, he made
it seem like we had a suicide pact, like it
was some Romeo and Juliet love story, Like oh that
was that really anchered me. So when he said it
(25:40):
again and I understand, like, yes, he was defending me
to Sina and exposing for her for how vindictive she
really was. But it's also not okay to be discussing
that personal emotional turmoil, state of mind with the rest
(26:02):
of the world. And now it's a topic of conversation
that really crossed a boundary.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Let me ask you this because the root of this
is this conversation about the open relationship.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yes, I did not tell Nima that Tom told me
that he was in an open relationship. What I told
Nima when I was explaining to him my experience at
Coachella staying with Tom and Ariana and a few of
our friends in that airbanb Tom and I and Jesse
were in the jacuzzi, our feet were in the jacuzzi
(26:37):
and we were talking until five am. The sun was
coming up, and we were listening to Dua Liipa and
talking about relationships and whatnot, and nothing happened that weekend.
But also like Tom and Ariana were extra levey towards me,
and so when I told Nima this experience, what I
(26:59):
said was Tom and Ariana give off an open relationship vibe.
And he was like, oh, that's interesting. Do you think
they're in an open relationship? And I was like, no,
I don't think that they are, but it's it was
a weird energy. And he said, do you think Tom
is interested in you like that and I was like, yeah,
(27:22):
it felt like he was. And then he said would
you act on that? And I said no, I would
be more likely to hook up with Ariana than I
would with Tom. That's what I said. And so you know,
and that was that. When he relayed that information to Shina,
I guess he took it as I was saying that
(27:45):
Tom told me that he and Arianna were in an
open relationship and that was not the case. He did
not tell me that. And it's interesting too, because Sena
confronted me about it. She asked me, like, hey, I
heard from somebody that you told them that Tom said
(28:05):
they were in an open relationship. And I was like, no,
I never said that, and she's like, well, this person
is a trusted source and they told me that you did.
And I was like, well I didn't. Who is this person?
And maybe that would help me understand where this is
coming from. And she refused to tell me who it was,
and so I was like, okay, like I'm leaving it
(28:25):
because it's not true. That was maybe in January of
twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Seems like she waited a while to.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Let that one out for that right, well, she let
that out the bag when we were picked up for filming,
and that was the rumor that she wanted to dress
to have Nima on because it seemed like she was
protecting this person. Nima was trying to clear his name.
She and I was trying to clear her name, and.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
You got dragging mo. Yes.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
So Tom has sid said that he's in a better
place about it all.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Now where do you stand?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
It's hard to say where I stand, just because I
wasn't expecting to address Sheena's podcast with Nima on and
having that be brought up in this season, and because
like that is what led me to my darkest thoughts.
It was really difficult for me to hear that and
(29:29):
know that I was being hit with that now. I
didn't listen to the podcast when I got out, and
so I didn't hear it until yesterday, and it was hurtful.
I think my brain really went to like the worst
case scenario, and that's when I was like, I quit.
(29:51):
I don't want to do this anymore. I just hope
that we're holding Nema accountable and we're holding Sheena accountable
for two different things. I think it shows a lot
about a person if there's somebody who kisses and tells,
and I don't know why someone would want to date
(30:12):
somebody like that a B with Sheena. I hope that
this brings to light how vindictive she was this past summer,
and it was relentless. Tom was not exaggerating how vindictive
(30:32):
Shina was.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Okay, so let's take that for a minute.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
And you filed the TRORO. You didn't want to ultimately
hurt her, so you take it back down. Yeah, Now
you mentioned you regretted it because you had a long
term interested in her.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Now, looking back at how she.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Continued, do you still feel that was the right decision
to let go or how do you.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Feel about that?
Speaker 1 (30:58):
I don't think it was the right decision to let
it go. I think by going through with it and
holding her accountable, I would be standing by what I
believed was right and wrong, and it's recognized in the
court of law.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
So do you feel like she bringing on her podcast
episode with Nina onto the show, that it was sort
of her redemption or to prove that she was right
vindicating herself because she really couldn't after the assault. So
this gave her sort of another angle to clear her
(31:34):
name or give herself creditble.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah. I think people were questioning whether or not she
knew about Tom and I and if she was sitting
on information where Tom told me and I told Nima
that Tom said he was in an open relationship, then
it's like, oh, well, why didn't you say this sooner?
(31:58):
So I think she was really trying to clear her
name with the friend group and like, hey, like I
didn't say that, somebody else did. It's Nima and he's
going to clear it up for all of us. So
I think she was trying to rehab her image.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
So this one's kind of going back to them so too.
Billy Lee said, you abandoned Tom.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Do you feel like you did a little bit? Yeah?
I do, But you know, I've been advised that that
would be the best way for me to end it,
because if I tried to explain the reasons why I'm
breaking up with him, he would figure out a way
to get back into my good graces. I mean I
(32:44):
even tried to break up with him before he went
on Special Forces, and I said like, I don't want
to do this anymore. This isn't healthy for me, and
he was like, please don't do this to me, Please,
don't do this to me. And then he started talking
about how Kyle Channa had to come over and remove
the guns from his house, and I was like, oh
my god. You know, like, please don't choose a permanent
(33:07):
solution to temporary problem, like now I'm talking him off
the ledge and so you know, like after he did that,
it was like, well, I don't you know, he's going
to pull something to keep me in his grasp. So yeah,
I just had to ghost him.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Okay, So when.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
You cut him off, then, now, how does it feel
seeing him in the confessionals?
Speaker 1 (33:32):
And yeah, I don't enjoy seeing it. And I think
as this season progresses, we'll see I predict that we
will see him turn on me once he really realizes
that I'm not coming back. We've kind of seen him
in the after show kind of giving me jobs, giving
(33:56):
you jobs, saying that it was all for optics and
that's all I really care about. I'm like, if that's
not projection, I don't know what is.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Okay, So do you think up to this point in
the show, the things he's saying, he's thinking, Oh, she's
going to be back and we're going to be together.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah. Absolutely, he was bringing all of this up on
camera preparing for me to come back, and I think
maybe that was manipulative and knowing that I'm going to
have to address these things and my confessionals and in
real life conversations and that you know, he was this
hero for standing up for me, and you know, I
(34:37):
would have been mad at him for bringing it up
in the first place, but he would have like really
swooped in and sold me on, like how he was
really there for me when nobody else was. And yeah,
I think it was strategic. Oh man, I feel like
this episode really it was a lot to watch and
(34:58):
it was heavy, like this is heavy, serious stuff. I
think how they closed out the episode with the disclaimer
with the suicide hotline, I'm happy that they did, but
I'm a little disappointed that they didn't really treat me
with that concern. I'm just so grateful that I was
(35:20):
able to get the mental health treatment and attention that
I needed so desperately, and yeah, that place like really
saved me and helped me to get out of this
chaotic world. Thank you so much for listening to Rachel
(35:42):
Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive
video content at Rachel Gos Rogue Podcast
This is Rachel gos Rogue. Hey guys, and welcome to
chapter ten of Rachel Goes Rogue. This is Rachel Savannah Levis,
and I have quite a lot to say on this
week's episode of vander Pump Rules. If you are new here,
I wanted to personally welcome you. I'm happy that you're
(00:27):
here to listen to what I have to say since
I'm not a part of season eleven of vander Pump
Roles this year, and I'm like in the mix still
because people keep talking about me and it does affect me.
This was a really heavy episode for me to watch
(00:50):
Episode three of vander Pump Rules. It was a lot.
I wasn't expecting for some of these topics to be
talked in the way that they were. It really took
me off guard and I really couldn't sleep. My mind
was racing, and I just you know, I had so
(01:10):
much to say, and I had to remind myself, like
it's gonna be okay. Like I have this opportunity on
my own podcast to speak whatever's in my heart and
whatever's on my mind in a true authentic way. So
I'm very grateful to have this podcast to be able
to express my opinions and my emotions and feelings that
(01:34):
come up through this. So thank you for being here.
Let's get into episode three. I have my publicist here
with me. She'll be asking me some questions, and I
have a lot to say about it all on my
own as well. So we're going to get right into it,
but I'm going to hand it over to my publicist.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
All right, Well, let's just dig right in.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
So a few of the articles that have been out there,
who's been about Tom saying that you him off and
it was all about optics. He feels abandoned. He makes
a really big deal about you not texting him on
his birthday.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
What was that timeline? And why didn't you reach out?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Okay, So I feel like there's two things to address
in that question. The first is the optics statement. And
he said this, if I recall correctly, he said it
during the after show. He said, Rachel's publicist kept saying optics, optics, optics,
and I've actually never heard my publicis say optics before.
(02:36):
That's more of a Tom sanderbal phrase. In fact, when
we were caught lying about the Jacuzzi incident and Lisa
was asking him about it, and he wanted to come
up with a story to cover up for it. He
kept saying, Look, it's not good optics for you to
(02:58):
be over at my house in the Jacuzi so optics, optics, optics.
It's definitely something that Tom san Evolve would say. So
the reason why I didn't reach out to him, we
officially stopped communication when he went to Special Forces, and
I was encouraging him to go because that would allow
(03:19):
for me to have more of a clear mind. And
this was towards the end of my treatment. This was
after I received that friendship lamp and the note. So yeah,
I decided that I wasn't going to contact him again.
(03:40):
And I think he was expecting for me to reach
out because I got out of the meadows July third,
and his birthday, I believe, is July seventh, So I
think he was expecting for me to reach out to him.
I didn't reach out to him, and he was not
(04:01):
too thrilled about that.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
I have some things to say about that publicists claiming
optics were important, because first and foremost, him saying you've
dumped him because I told you to do so for
any reason, is actually taking the power away from you,
which is a decision that you made through treatment. So
I think that is first a really big deal because
(04:25):
that was your choice and your power when you came
into your own more so through treatment. Secondly, what was
there for me to be concerned with about the optics? Basically,
you had an anxiety breakdown on the show for millions
to see. You were outed having an intimate moment to
the world and humiliated being filmed without your permission. You
(04:48):
were exposed to having an unfair Despite apologizing multiple times,
you were still bullied, berated, dehumanized, berated by a group
of people that had cheated with.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Each other, boyfriends, Mary full everything else.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
You checked into an inpatient center for three months to
do the work, and the.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Bullying didn't stop.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
They purposefully cast out that you were getting treatment. They
were called the liar on cast podcasts. They told the
world you were a spot the cast, the network. None
of them would tell the truth that they knew, despite
me showing them proof and begging them.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
To post where you actually were.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I asked them to support you forgetting help and to
stop the hate.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I told them that you had death.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Threats and watch what happened live if you remember and
he asked the cast members where they thought you were
when they knew.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Exactly where you were.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
You were damaged and broken when you were in there,
and thank goodness you've got the help and did the work,
because it could have been a very different outcome for you.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Right, So at the end of the day.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I was concerned with the truth. We always put out
the truth. We put the truth to the press, we
put the truth out to the public. So the network,
we always stood for the truth. And my only concern
at that point was to get better.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
What optics?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
So I have a question for you. I know you
were encouraging the network to say that I was actually
at a treatment facility and not at a SPA. Is
there a reason why you didn't release a statement saying
that I was at a treatment facility on your own
to get that out there? We did.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
We actually, if you would call well too so too hard?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
How they could have done it was not only just
in a statement.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Remember all the mediums they have, whether it's E News,
whether it's you know, the Bravo sites. All I did
was ask them to reput our statement out there. We
had already put the statement when the person that left
the Meadows.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
How did you. Yeah, that's when we had to put
the statement out.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Yeah, so, and that's I've been doing this for twenty
four years and never have I put a statement out
and then been called a liar. And then especially that's
something so serious, right, It's not about an opinion, it's
about a running. It's not about who's dating who or
who's breaking up. This was, you know, a very serious situation.
(07:04):
But they refused to put it out there, and they
perpetuated the SPA thing.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah, so the SPA thing overtook any of our statements.
I think we even requested for Bravo to tell the
cast members who were going on the podcast every week
saying that they know for a fact that I'm at
a SPA, to stop saying that, and they said, we
(07:31):
don't have any power over the cast to prevent them
from saying whatever they want on their podcasts.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
So Lisa claims that it was shocking and triggering for
her because of her the history of mental.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Health and her brother and now her concern for Tom.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
How did that make you feel to see her react
to him.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I feel like Lisa has extended her resources to Tom
more than I've ever seen that extended to me and
that concern for me, And so I'm not surprised by
it because I feel like it's pretty typical for Lisa
to really like take the men under her wing and
(08:17):
make sure that the men are okay, but she doesn't
really care about the women on the show as much.
Like to me my perception of it, it seems like
the women are more disposable to her, and she has
invested in the Tom Tom name and has business with Sandobal.
(08:38):
So yeah, it's like, Okay, if you were really concerned
about Tom having dark thoughts, like you had to have
considered my mental state of mind as well because we
were both going through the same thing at the same time.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Did she ever reach out to you?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
No, she didn't, and she didn't care what my mental
state was when she pulled that whole Gram situation on me.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
As a producer on the show, Do you think that
she had a responsibility to treat him and talk equally
when it came to mental.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Health support, Well, I feel like Lisa does have a
responsibility and production does have responsibility to treat the cast
equally when it comes to caring for their mental health.
And you can't like preach that and then only apply
it to one person, or pick and choose who you're
(09:35):
going to extend that care to. Yeah, so I don't
think that that was right.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
And if you sat down with her today, what would
you have to say to her?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I would ask her why she felt the need to
lie and say that I surrendered my dog out a
kill shelter and put that in the press. I would say,
what was your intention in doing that? Was it to
make me the ultimate villain so you could save your
precious Tom Sandoval. But the thing that actually in that scene,
(10:08):
the thing that bothered me the most was Tom talking
about the podcast that Sheena had Nima on And when
I saw that clip, I immediately was like, why did
he need to bring this up? If he knew how
(10:28):
much that affected my mental well being? Why would he
bring it up on national television for everybody to know about.
And it's been months and months and months since that
episode came out on Shana's podcast, and so people have
forgotten about it. But now that you're bringing it up
on camera addressing these rumors that impacted me so horribly.
(10:56):
I just felt like it was like, what the hell,
Like that's up for you to do? Like I really
I don't know what his thought process was, because his
point was that Sheena has been vindictive and bringing our name,
dragging it through the mud, and it's affected him. But
(11:18):
the example he gave was something that she said about me.
So I just felt like that was very unnecessary. Why
did Shena need to go into all the details, Why
did Nima need to go into all the details? Like
I could just picture it. She is very upset obviously
about the tro and she was hyping up all of
(11:40):
our mutual friends to talk about me and divulge personal stories.
So I'm sure Nima was hyped up and in this
state of like, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna put it
all out there the point of the podcast, which I
didn't listen to until yesterday because that when I found
(12:03):
out about it, it put me in such a dark place.
I just wanted to push it and suppress it and
completely pretend like it didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I think, can you explain who Mima is or was?
Speaker 1 (12:20):
So Nima is this guy who Sena set me up
with to go on a date. He was on Shaws
of Sunset, and Sheena likes to network and stay in
touch with a lot of the cast on different shows,
and so she figured since I was in a rut
(12:42):
and not interested in dating, that she would set me
up with someone who she thought was a reliable person
to take me on a good date. And Hannah Berner's
wedding was coming up, and she was like, well, you know,
it's a possibility that he could ask you to Hannah
Berner's wedding and then you can come with me and
Brock and it could be like a full fun thing.
(13:02):
And I was like, okay, yeah, that sounds fun. So
we stated, I mean, if you can even call it dating.
We hung out a few times and we were like
voice memoing each other over text. And the thing that
I liked about Nima was that he really encouraged me
(13:25):
to use my voice. And this was at a time
when I was still self conscious about the way my
voice sounded, so nothing came of it, Like we both
were kind of like in this mental space of this
is a casual thing. But yeah, Sheina really pushed for
that to come into fruition, and then she's like using
(13:48):
it against me to say that I'm some type of
promiscuous woman.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
James was featured a lot too write so he shockingly
had very mild things.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
To say regarding Tom. Right there was like all this
energy but nothing very when on Whatch what Happens Like,
that's when.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Andy asked him about the podcast. Are you surprised that
his demeanor was so calm?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
No, I'm not surprised because I think he kind of
ignores a lot of what's happening in the press, Like
he doesn't get to him in a way because he
doesn't give it his attention. So I highly doubt that
he's listening to my podcast.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
And then he also said that Tom's revelation that he
still loves for Quel gave him the thoughts on James
still having feelings about this?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
How does that make you feel?
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Thoughts on James having feelings about this? I mean, I
understand the ick heart because our whole friend group like
saw Tom and Ariana together as like in it for
the long haul, no matter like what their relationship was at.
And I'm hesitant to even talk about this stuff because
(15:14):
I know you guys have a lot of opinions on it.
But yeah, I think because you wouldn't really picture Tom
with me, and that concept is icky.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Episode.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
In the actual episode, James and Sandival have a heat
of conversation about betrayal, and it seems like he's still
very hurt by Sandoval's actions. Do you find it odd
that he's seemingly in a relationship where he claims to
be the happiest he's ever been, but yet it still
feels betrayed by Sandoval?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah, I mean, is he the happiest he's ever been?
That's only for him to say, but yeah, I think
he was just kind of throwing that in my face
to make me feel bad when he said that he's
the happiest he's ever been. Oh, she's the love of
my life. James looked up to Tom as someone he admired,
(16:15):
and Tom was there for him when James was always
the underdog and really encouraged James to be a part
of filming, even though their friendship wasn't like a close friendship.
But James admired Tom and he didn't think that Tom
would be capable of doing this, and James and I
(16:37):
were engaged, So yeah, I can see how it's a betrayal.
I think maybe comparing James to Ariana, it doesn't quite equate,
even though the dynamics are similar. It's interesting Yeah, do you.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Think that james anger has less to do with you
and more to do with his own friendship?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I think it has less to do with me because
I I don't know if it aired or not, but
I remember filming where he called me and I picked
up and he said, I'm less mad at you and
I'm more mud at Tom. I think James's anger had
more to do with his friendship with Tom and his
(17:20):
idea of who Tom really was, and since that perception
was shattered, I think he was perhaps like grieving that friendship.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, how long ago did your relationship with James end?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
It ended December twenty twenty one.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Because do you find it at all odd that he
still does get so angry or charged up to when he's.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Talking about you?
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Because I think even as a viewer, lots of people
comment and say, is he just not over or is
it just that he Tom had had you and he
didn't did that going or something strange there.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I think James is just an anger person, like things
will will rub him the wrong way and he'll take
things very personally. So I mean it doesn't really surprise me.
I've seen him angry a lot.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
And then his reaction in the episode versus on Watch
It Happens Live?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
And that calmness he had on the after show is
that interesting to.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Not really, because he kind of lives in his own world.
I think the anger came up in that moment for
him and he expressed it, and now that it's been
months later, he's like he doesn't really care as much,
and that's what we see on his most recent appearance
on Watch What Happens Live. I do want to talk
about though, Like I do think it's interesting that Tom
(18:47):
is holding the Christen thing over James's head, yet Tom
has gone out of his way to help plan James's
proposal to me and like drop money on that. And
I think a lot of people are confused by that too.
A lot of people suspect that Tom and I were
seeing each other while James and I were together. That
(19:10):
is false. I asked Tom about why he was so
invested emotionally and financially in James's proposal to me, and
he said that it was because of the show that
he felt like because we were in a COVID season
and there wasn't a lot going on that he felt
(19:34):
if he put money down to make this extravagant thing.
It would look great for cameras and it would contribute
to the overall success of the show.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
How did that make you feel hearing that?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
You know, it was interesting because even I was questioning him.
I was like, so were you into me back then,
because you does it contributes so much? And he was like, no, no, no, no, no,
it wasn't like that. It was just for the show.
And I was like, Okay, so this guy really cares
(20:12):
about the success of the show and taking a step
back and looking at it now, I can see how
the show is like his higher power and it controls
a lot of his decisions in life.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
So on the episode, Sheen had a conversation with Tom
back to the restaurant and he brought up the podcast
guest meeting Mima, and it appeared that he had your back.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
He was saying that it should have.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Been more about the comment about the open relationship rather than.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Me going into all the detail he did. How do
you feel watching that back, seeing him defend you.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
In on my do you feel that was zir I
was actually happy that he was defending me in that
moment because what he said was accurate. That when I
found out about that podcast that Sina recorded with Nima.
I was in the meadows and my mom told me
(21:24):
about it, and she was like, hey, I just want
you to know that Sina had Niema on and I
already knew at this point that Shea was talking about
me every single day, it seemed like, and so it
just threw me off. And my mom said they were
(21:45):
talking about explicit sexual things with your sexual life, and
my mind just went spinning because I didn't know what
was being said. I was just thinking the absolute worst,
and when you are in intimate relations with somebody, usually
(22:12):
that remains between the two of you, and so I
was pretty surprised that Nima would talk on that and
speak about that, especially because Nima was upset at me
when I went on Sheena's podcast and talked about our
date that I went on and how it went, and
(22:35):
Sina was like picking for that and encouraging me to
speak on it. I didn't think that I said anything bad,
but he was like, you, you know, like I'm a business
professional and people are looking at me and when they
hear things like this, it looks bad on me. So
he was scolding me for opening up about that dating
(22:55):
situation and how it went down.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
So this is indicative.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, possibly he's trying to get back at me for
painting him in a bad light, which I don't think
it was a bad light. I thought it was also
very interesting that Nima said on Sina's podcast that people
need to lay off Tom Sandoval and that he's going
(23:21):
through a lot right now. And you can't you know,
people are talking about mental health, this mental health that,
yet they're like going in on Tom Sandoval and we
really have to think about how this is affecting his
well being. But Rachel, let's get into it. Let's tear
this girl up, because she's not a human, right.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Did Nima ever reach out after the podcast or to
date as he reached out?
Speaker 1 (23:49):
No?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
And then, in your opinion, do you think.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
That Tom brought this stuff up on camera because it
was his only new chance to confront Sheena indefend you
or was it self serving to clear his own name
about his story?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
He claims with false interesting question. I don't know, like,
was it to be spiteful to me because I didn't
reach out to him on his birthday and that's why
he wanted to bring it up. Maybe maybe it was
like he really did want Sheena to know how it
(24:22):
affected me. I didn't address it sooner because it's something
that I already processed through. But it is not okay
for somebody else to tell other people that they have
expressed feelings of not wanting to live anymore. Tom already
(24:44):
brought this up about me on Tamra and Teddy's podcast
to Teas in a Pod.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
And.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
That one I really went in deep processing with my
therapist because it was like, whoa, why are you talking
about this personal information that was like privy to only
your ears, Like this is a vulnerable topic of vulnerable
position for me to be sharing with you, and you're
(25:16):
like telling Teddy and Tamra and whoever else is listening
to this popular podcast that I have had dark thoughts.
But the way that he said it too, he made
it seem like we had a suicide pact, like it
was some Romeo and Juliet love story, Like oh that
was that really anchered me. So when he said it
(25:40):
again and I understand, like, yes, he was defending me
to Sina and exposing for her for how vindictive she
really was. But it's also not okay to be discussing
that personal emotional turmoil, state of mind with the rest
(26:02):
of the world. And now it's a topic of conversation
that really crossed a boundary.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Let me ask you this because the root of this
is this conversation about the open relationship.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yes, I did not tell Nima that Tom told me
that he was in an open relationship. What I told
Nima when I was explaining to him my experience at
Coachella staying with Tom and Ariana and a few of
our friends in that airbanb Tom and I and Jesse
were in the jacuzzi, our feet were in the jacuzzi
(26:37):
and we were talking until five am. The sun was
coming up, and we were listening to Dua Liipa and
talking about relationships and whatnot, and nothing happened that weekend.
But also like Tom and Ariana were extra levey towards me,
and so when I told Nima this experience, what I
(26:59):
said was Tom and Ariana give off an open relationship vibe.
And he was like, oh, that's interesting. Do you think
they're in an open relationship? And I was like, no,
I don't think that they are, but it's it was
a weird energy. And he said, do you think Tom
is interested in you like that and I was like, yeah,
(27:22):
it felt like he was. And then he said would
you act on that? And I said no, I would
be more likely to hook up with Ariana than I
would with Tom. That's what I said. And so you know,
and that was that. When he relayed that information to Shina,
I guess he took it as I was saying that
(27:45):
Tom told me that he and Arianna were in an
open relationship and that was not the case. He did
not tell me that. And it's interesting too, because Sena
confronted me about it. She asked me, like, hey, I
heard from somebody that you told them that Tom said
(28:05):
they were in an open relationship. And I was like, no,
I never said that, and she's like, well, this person
is a trusted source and they told me that you did.
And I was like, well I didn't. Who is this person?
And maybe that would help me understand where this is
coming from. And she refused to tell me who it was,
and so I was like, okay, like I'm leaving it
(28:25):
because it's not true. That was maybe in January of
twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Seems like she waited a while to.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Let that one out for that right, well, she let
that out the bag when we were picked up for filming,
and that was the rumor that she wanted to dress
to have Nima on because it seemed like she was
protecting this person. Nima was trying to clear his name.
She and I was trying to clear her name, and.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
You got dragging mo. Yes.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
So Tom has sid said that he's in a better
place about it all.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Now where do you stand?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
It's hard to say where I stand, just because I
wasn't expecting to address Sheena's podcast with Nima on and
having that be brought up in this season, and because
like that is what led me to my darkest thoughts.
It was really difficult for me to hear that and
(29:29):
know that I was being hit with that now. I
didn't listen to the podcast when I got out, and
so I didn't hear it until yesterday, and it was hurtful.
I think my brain really went to like the worst
case scenario, and that's when I was like, I quit.
(29:51):
I don't want to do this anymore. I just hope
that we're holding Nema accountable and we're holding Sheena accountable
for two different things. I think it shows a lot
about a person if there's somebody who kisses and tells,
and I don't know why someone would want to date
(30:12):
somebody like that a B with Sheena. I hope that
this brings to light how vindictive she was this past summer,
and it was relentless. Tom was not exaggerating how vindictive
(30:32):
Shina was.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Okay, so let's take that for a minute.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
And you filed the TRORO. You didn't want to ultimately
hurt her, so you take it back down. Yeah, Now
you mentioned you regretted it because you had a long
term interested in her.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Now, looking back at how she.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Continued, do you still feel that was the right decision
to let go or how do you.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Feel about that?
Speaker 1 (30:58):
I don't think it was the right decision to let
it go. I think by going through with it and
holding her accountable, I would be standing by what I
believed was right and wrong, and it's recognized in the
court of law.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
So do you feel like she bringing on her podcast
episode with Nina onto the show, that it was sort
of her redemption or to prove that she was right
vindicating herself because she really couldn't after the assault. So
this gave her sort of another angle to clear her
(31:34):
name or give herself creditble.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah. I think people were questioning whether or not she
knew about Tom and I and if she was sitting
on information where Tom told me and I told Nima
that Tom said he was in an open relationship, then
it's like, oh, well, why didn't you say this sooner?
(31:58):
So I think she was really trying to clear her
name with the friend group and like, hey, like I
didn't say that, somebody else did. It's Nima and he's
going to clear it up for all of us. So
I think she was trying to rehab her image.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
So this one's kind of going back to them so too.
Billy Lee said, you abandoned Tom.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Do you feel like you did a little bit? Yeah?
I do, But you know, I've been advised that that
would be the best way for me to end it,
because if I tried to explain the reasons why I'm
breaking up with him, he would figure out a way
to get back into my good graces. I mean I
(32:44):
even tried to break up with him before he went
on Special Forces, and I said like, I don't want
to do this anymore. This isn't healthy for me, and
he was like, please don't do this to me, Please,
don't do this to me. And then he started talking
about how Kyle Channa had to come over and remove
the guns from his house, and I was like, oh
my god. You know, like, please don't choose a permanent
(33:07):
solution to temporary problem, like now I'm talking him off
the ledge and so you know, like after he did that,
it was like, well, I don't you know, he's going
to pull something to keep me in his grasp. So yeah,
I just had to ghost him.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Okay, So when.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
You cut him off, then, now, how does it feel
seeing him in the confessionals?
Speaker 1 (33:32):
And yeah, I don't enjoy seeing it. And I think
as this season progresses, we'll see I predict that we
will see him turn on me once he really realizes
that I'm not coming back. We've kind of seen him
in the after show kind of giving me jobs, giving
(33:56):
you jobs, saying that it was all for optics and
that's all I really care about. I'm like, if that's
not projection, I don't know what is.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Okay, So do you think up to this point in
the show, the things he's saying, he's thinking, Oh, she's
going to be back and we're going to be together.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah. Absolutely, he was bringing all of this up on
camera preparing for me to come back, and I think
maybe that was manipulative and knowing that I'm going to
have to address these things and my confessionals and in
real life conversations and that you know, he was this
hero for standing up for me, and you know, I
(34:37):
would have been mad at him for bringing it up
in the first place, but he would have like really
swooped in and sold me on, like how he was
really there for me when nobody else was. And yeah,
I think it was strategic. Oh man, I feel like
this episode really it was a lot to watch and
(34:58):
it was heavy, like this is heavy, serious stuff. I
think how they closed out the episode with the disclaimer
with the suicide hotline, I'm happy that they did, but
I'm a little disappointed that they didn't really treat me
with that concern. I'm just so grateful that I was
(35:20):
able to get the mental health treatment and attention that
I needed so desperately, and yeah, that place like really
saved me and helped me to get out of this
chaotic world. Thank you so much for listening to Rachel
(35:42):
Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive
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