July 31, 2024 • 23 mins
Rachel opens up about what it was like sharing her adoption story with her former Vanderpump Rules co-stars and how she feels to be accused of having abandonment issues
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
This is Rachel Go's Rogue.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome back to another episode of Rachel Goes Rogue with
your host, Rachel Savannah Levis. Today I'm bringing you part
three of Rachel's Reflections, where I look back through my
Instagram snapshots of some of the most important moments of
my life and describe what was really going on during
these photos. Today's episode is probably one of the most
(00:36):
personal moments I'm going to talk about because I'm going
to discuss my adoption. I posted some photos of my
family and a little bit of the story, but today
I want to go a little bit deeper. I have
my producers with me and they are going to ask
some of the questions you've been asking in regards to
(00:56):
my adoption story.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So for those that don't know, can you just, in
your words, explain your adoption story. Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
So it's a little complicated, and growing up, I was like, oh,
my family tree is a little bit different than other people's.
I had an in family adoption where my mom who
adopted me, and I referred to her as my mom
(01:29):
because she adopted me at birth, she couldn't conceive and
she was trying and trying, and eventually she just gave
up and surrendered and said, like, if it's meant to be,
it'll be, and I'm praying for a miracle, but if not,
then I'm gonna let go.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
And give this to.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
The power that's greater than me, and you know, hand
it over to God. And basically she couldn't get pregnant,
and shortly thereafter, her sister got pregnant with me on accident,
and she asked my mom if she wanted to have
(02:18):
me for her, and my mom said yes. And that's
my origin story.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Sounds like prayers were answered, Yes.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yes. I was told at a very young age that
I was adopted, and I knew who my birth mom was,
and that was just an open dialogue and my family
still had communication with my birth mom obviously she's a
family member. But some adoptions aren't that way, and typically
(02:54):
they would be called a closed adoption where they are
not in contact with the birth mother.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, that's right. There are a lot of a closed adoption.
It's private and nobody else is supposed to know, so
you can't find your birth mother of a birth father
that it's all closed, and yours was open to be
talked about. And I find it super interesting that your parents,
your mom told you right because and we're going to
get into that, but there's pros and cons to that,
(03:24):
and I think that it or at least in people's minds,
but I think it makes you very open minded and accepted,
and I think it makes you feel special to know
that you were doubly wanted right. So that's why I
think you can look at it too.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah, it definitely makes me.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
As I get older and reflect back on it, it makes
me very grateful that I am living on this earth
right now, because you know, I they're in the circumstance
that I'm living in too, because my life could have
looked completely different if my mom did not adopt me
(04:03):
and I was if I was brought up with my
birth mom. And also there could have been a chance
where I wouldn't have been born and therefore wouldn't be
living right now. So it is just wild to think
about those circumstances for sure.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
So what exactly is your relationship like with your biological mom.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I prefer not to talk about it too much because
it is private. I want to be respectful of everybody
and not bringing other people into this conversation because everything
that I talk about gets picked apart, and people get
brought into this conversation without volunteering themselves to be if
(04:55):
that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Your biological mom, what do you call her? What do
you call her?
Speaker 3 (05:02):
I call her my birth mom? Okay?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
And she gave birth to your two siblings, is that right?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
And what is your relationship like with them? The siblings?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
This one's also hard for me to talk about too,
because they've asked me not to.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Speak about them.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Unfortunately, people online are not the nicest, and I am
volunteering to be in this public arena, but my siblings
are not, so I can't really talk about them either.
But I have a good relationship.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
With my siblings.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
That's good, that's great. How old were you when you
learned you were adopted?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
So I was very young when I learned that I
was adopted.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I don't remember that age specifically, but I.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Always knew, like it was never something that was put
on me later in life where I discovered that I
was adopted. And I've had friends who have had interactions
like that where they didn't know that they were adopted
until much later in life. So I think that personally,
(06:28):
just from my experience, I prefer that well, I don't
know any other way, but I do appreciate that I
was just told from the very beginning, because it's like
there's no secrets, there's no life other than just knowing
that I was adopted.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Fair enough, I think in this situation there's the two
schools of thought are as if you tell them that
they're adopted, that they might think to themselves, why was
I given up? But I really I think it has
to do with the love that you're received, and you
also know the circumstances, and it was a better situation,
your situation, the way it turned out was better for you,
so it's probably why you have such a healthy outlook
(07:12):
on it.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, and yeah, I never felt like I was given up,
And if anything, I felt like I was like it
was a selfless act for somebody to have a child
that couldn't and someone who was prepared to have a
child and really really wanted one. And so in a way,
(07:37):
I feel like I was very much wanted. And I
think there's a big misconception. People love to draw conclusions
about my adoption and saying that, of course she has
issues because she was adopted, and there's like an abandonment
wound there, which I don't really feel that way, although,
(08:01):
like there has been research and studies that have shown
that people who are adopted typically.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Do have an abandonment wound, and I.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Would love to bring on an expert to dive deeper
into that and see if that really does apply to
me or not subconsciously because at birth, like.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Birth first of all, is a.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Very traumatic experience and we are wired in our brains
not to remember birth. But like I was also a
premature baby, so the umbilical cord was wrapped around my
neck and I lost oxygen to my brain and they
had to perform an emergency c section on my birth mom,
and then I was put in the nick you for
(08:45):
an amount of time. And I know that like those
first moments of childbirth are very important to like foster
that connection, the body on body contact, and even like breastfeeding,
and so I wasn't breastfed as a child, and I
did have that traumatic experience that obviously I don't remember,
(09:09):
but you know, those are all little factors that could
play into a bigger dynamic.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
It also seems like your situation was more of a surrogacy,
right because your birth mom carried you for your mom
so and you know, they whatever their relationship is, they
are still related and knew each other, and it wasn't
you know. And then your mom's circumstances were better for
you than your birth mom, So you know, those abandonment
(09:39):
issues I think, or adoptions where maybe somebody swooped up
and taken into a different circus. Maybe that makes a difference,
but I think in your situation, it seemed like it
was pretty pretty close. And then for your parents to
tell you and make you a part of it, you know,
that has to make you feel loved and wanted and
included in the process. Right, You're not finding something out,
(10:00):
You're you know, proud of the story, like it's it's
made you who you are today.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
The way that you just described that as a sergacy
is exactly kind of what it was.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Before, Like sergacy was a big thing.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Because this is like twenty nine years ago, and I
actually haven't considered it like that before with the term sergacy.
So yeah, that's that's pretty much exactly what it was.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Like does it bother you? Well, look, yours is this
(10:50):
question is two layered, Like as a regular human, does
it bother you? Talking about being adopted or people knowing
your story. But then as the reality star that you are,
does it bother you the way that the you know,
interest internet sphere sort of asks you questions or describes
your story.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, there's a lot of misconceptions and a lot of
fan fiction out there about what my adoption story is
that isn't accurate, and people love to draw conclusions and
fill in the blinks where they actually know nothing about
that part of my life. And the reason why I
have been open about it on the show because like
(11:33):
it's presented in a way that's very open to me
and just something that I've accepted. And it's not like
an identity in any sort of way. It's just like
a fact and something to accept. And so I think
it's I think it does a disservice when people jump
to conclusions and create something that they know nothing about. Yeah,
(12:02):
because and every person's adoption story is different, So to generalize,
to generalize someone's adoption story, I feel like does a
disservice to that person.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Yeah, agreed.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
So wait, so I know you knew from the very beginning,
but like, do you actually remember the first time you
were ever told or how old you were and not really.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
I think the story that was told to me was like,
mommy couldn't get pregnant, and I have a birth mom
and my mom and you know, my sister had you
for me, you know, like your birth mom gave birth and.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Then I don't know, you know, like it was.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
It was presented to me in a way that like
was very basic.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
It made sense.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
But then when people ask me about my siblings, I
kind of go into the adoption story and how I
was adopted because my younger sibling is also adopted, but
from a separate family altogether, and my younger sibling has
had some processing issues and they're on the spectrum and
(13:28):
living with that growing up wasn't easy. But we were
both adopted. However, our adoption origins were very different. Where
she was adopted from this woman who got pregnant at
a very young age and she knew that she couldn't
(13:48):
have the baby in the way that she wanted to
be able to provide for the baby, and knew that
adoption would be the best option. And my parent parents
decided to have an open adoption with that birth mother
as well.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
And I think, I mean, I.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Prefer that I think that's like a healthy way, although
my younger sibling has had some issues feeling like she
wasn't wanted by her birth mom.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
And what is your relationship with your mom and dad? Like?
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Now? I am close with my parents. I love them
very much. They're still married, and they have helped me
through this hardship in my life. And I'm grateful to
be able to fall back on them a little bit
because most people who are in the circumstance that I've
(14:52):
put myself in and found myself in and the consequences
of the actions that I've taken. I'm very lucky you
to have parents that are supportive of me. And I
think that I would be in a very different position
now if I didn't have supportive parents, given the circumstances
(15:14):
that I find myself in.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
And do you think being adopted has influenced who you
are today in any way? Oh?
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, in every way, because I was brought up by
my mom and not my birth mom, and my mom
and my aunt aka my birth mom are very different
people and have very different mindsets and priorities in life.
My mom is a bit of a mama bear like.
(15:45):
She does care for my well being greatly and sometimes
that can be a little overbearing, Like growing up not
being able to do some of the other things that
the other kids got to do. I didn't feel as free,
like I felt more sheltered, and like I didn't have
(16:07):
the same hype of freedom as the other kids. But
I know that my mom was just trying to protect
me and wanted the best for me. Whereas if I
was raised by my birth mom, I think I would
have had a lot more freedom, but I don't know
(16:30):
if that would have been the best for me.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
A lot of adoptions, whether they're open or closed, they
don't really know the other person in their life. You're
seeing it living like playing out right next to you.
So do you ever look at it and go, oh,
thank goodness? Or do you you know, and I don't
mean that negatively, but you know, do you look at
it and say, I'm where I should be and I'm
(16:55):
lucky I'm where I should be, or because most people
don't see what that other circumstance would possibly look like.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
But you do, yes, Yeah, I often think to myself,
I'm right where I should be, and I'm very blessed
to have these circumstances that I am able to have
like very blessed that my mom and my parents adopted me,
and it is interesting to think about, like a lot
(17:24):
of people who have been adopted don't have and the
concept of what their life could have been with their
birth parent or birth parents. And I think maybe there's
something healing and knowing more about what that life could
have been. I think that the circumstances aligned themselves in
(17:49):
a way where I'm able to have a more fulfilling life.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I think that people should stop worrying less about other
people's personal stories. Right when you choose to share them
and share what's inspiring about them, that's great. But people
passing judgment on it or trying to cycle analyze, I
think is a little bit of an unnecessary exercise. But
(18:14):
it's you know, it seems to me like you ended
up where you should be and better for it and
turn into the person that you are.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm trying to be respectful of my family and I
and by talking about this, I risk bringing family members
into something that they did not sign up for.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
And I also.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Like to be open and honest with you guys and
share more about my personal life because I feel like
all of these little things make up who I am,
and by sharing that, I'm able to connect with other
people who identify with those certain parts of themselves as well.
So it's like the balancing act of being respectful for
(19:26):
the parties involved. But I think sharing my adoption story
on vander Pump Rules and being open about it in
my life has just been something that's like matter of
fact to me, and I know a lot of people
who have also been adopted that it is a very
(19:50):
unique circumstance to be in. And you know, I would
love to bring somebody on to dive deeper to the
different types of adoptions and how that can affect somebody.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
Through their life.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
So I posted a slide of a series of photos
on my Instagram this back in October twenty twenty one,
and my Grandma Buttons, who is a legend and my
last standing grandparent, love her so much. She is the
(20:29):
one that gave birth to my birth mom and my
adopted mom, and so just felt compelled to reiterate my
adoption story because I guess that week on vander Pump
was the week that I was talking a little bit
more about my adoption origin story. And I basically say
(20:54):
in this caption that I think my lucky star. I
was raised by such loving parents and I have the
best dad ever, and my mom has been such a
mama bear to me my whole life. And I love
my family so much, especially my Grandma Buttons, who we
(21:16):
all just adore, and she is still alive and sassy
as ever, and she's about to turn ninety. And I just,
you know, like going back and realizing that your family
has a whole lineage biologically, I am related to.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
My mom's side of my family, and so.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
There's a piece of for me that I kind of
like maybe relate to more on that side of the
family because I feel biologically related to that side. And
I was feeling emotional and so appreciative of the circumstances
(22:07):
that I was given through my adoption, and that's why
I was compelled to share this photo.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Would you ever, I mean, you're young and you know,
just embark in in your life, but would you ever
consider adopting?
Speaker 3 (22:26):
I would?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Pregnancy scares the heck out of me, Like the concept
of having a child being grown inside of you is fine,
but then like the giving birth part freaks me out.
So I definitely would consider adopting. If I did adopt.
I I would probably do like an at birth situation
(22:49):
because that's the way that I've experienced it, and I
know that you know, like I know how it has
affected me in learning about my adoption, and so yeah,
I think you know that that could be an option.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
So we'll see.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Grogue.
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive video content
at Rachel gos Rogue Podcast
This is Rachel Go's Rogue.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome back to another episode of Rachel Goes Rogue with
your host, Rachel Savannah Levis. Today I'm bringing you part
three of Rachel's Reflections, where I look back through my
Instagram snapshots of some of the most important moments of
my life and describe what was really going on during
these photos. Today's episode is probably one of the most
(00:36):
personal moments I'm going to talk about because I'm going
to discuss my adoption. I posted some photos of my
family and a little bit of the story, but today
I want to go a little bit deeper. I have
my producers with me and they are going to ask
some of the questions you've been asking in regards to
(00:56):
my adoption story.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So for those that don't know, can you just, in
your words, explain your adoption story. Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
So it's a little complicated, and growing up, I was like, oh,
my family tree is a little bit different than other people's.
I had an in family adoption where my mom who
adopted me, and I referred to her as my mom
(01:29):
because she adopted me at birth, she couldn't conceive and
she was trying and trying, and eventually she just gave
up and surrendered and said, like, if it's meant to be,
it'll be, and I'm praying for a miracle, but if not,
then I'm gonna let go.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
And give this to.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
The power that's greater than me, and you know, hand
it over to God. And basically she couldn't get pregnant,
and shortly thereafter, her sister got pregnant with me on accident,
and she asked my mom if she wanted to have
(02:18):
me for her, and my mom said yes. And that's
my origin story.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Sounds like prayers were answered, Yes.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yes. I was told at a very young age that
I was adopted, and I knew who my birth mom was,
and that was just an open dialogue and my family
still had communication with my birth mom obviously she's a
family member. But some adoptions aren't that way, and typically
(02:54):
they would be called a closed adoption where they are
not in contact with the birth mother.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, that's right. There are a lot of a closed adoption.
It's private and nobody else is supposed to know, so
you can't find your birth mother of a birth father
that it's all closed, and yours was open to be
talked about. And I find it super interesting that your parents,
your mom told you right because and we're going to
get into that, but there's pros and cons to that,
(03:24):
and I think that it or at least in people's minds,
but I think it makes you very open minded and accepted,
and I think it makes you feel special to know
that you were doubly wanted right. So that's why I
think you can look at it too.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah, it definitely makes me.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
As I get older and reflect back on it, it makes
me very grateful that I am living on this earth
right now, because you know, I they're in the circumstance
that I'm living in too, because my life could have
looked completely different if my mom did not adopt me
(04:03):
and I was if I was brought up with my
birth mom. And also there could have been a chance
where I wouldn't have been born and therefore wouldn't be
living right now. So it is just wild to think
about those circumstances for sure.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
So what exactly is your relationship like with your biological mom.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I prefer not to talk about it too much because
it is private. I want to be respectful of everybody
and not bringing other people into this conversation because everything
that I talk about gets picked apart, and people get
brought into this conversation without volunteering themselves to be if
(04:55):
that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Your biological mom, what do you call her? What do
you call her?
Speaker 3 (05:02):
I call her my birth mom? Okay?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
And she gave birth to your two siblings, is that right?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
And what is your relationship like with them? The siblings?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
This one's also hard for me to talk about too,
because they've asked me not to.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Speak about them.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Unfortunately, people online are not the nicest, and I am
volunteering to be in this public arena, but my siblings
are not, so I can't really talk about them either.
But I have a good relationship.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
With my siblings.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
That's good, that's great. How old were you when you
learned you were adopted?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
So I was very young when I learned that I
was adopted.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I don't remember that age specifically, but I.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Always knew, like it was never something that was put
on me later in life where I discovered that I
was adopted. And I've had friends who have had interactions
like that where they didn't know that they were adopted
until much later in life. So I think that personally,
(06:28):
just from my experience, I prefer that well, I don't
know any other way, but I do appreciate that I
was just told from the very beginning, because it's like
there's no secrets, there's no life other than just knowing
that I was adopted.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Fair enough, I think in this situation there's the two
schools of thought are as if you tell them that
they're adopted, that they might think to themselves, why was
I given up? But I really I think it has
to do with the love that you're received, and you
also know the circumstances, and it was a better situation,
your situation, the way it turned out was better for you,
so it's probably why you have such a healthy outlook
(07:12):
on it.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, and yeah, I never felt like I was given up,
And if anything, I felt like I was like it
was a selfless act for somebody to have a child
that couldn't and someone who was prepared to have a
child and really really wanted one. And so in a way,
(07:37):
I feel like I was very much wanted. And I
think there's a big misconception. People love to draw conclusions
about my adoption and saying that, of course she has
issues because she was adopted, and there's like an abandonment
wound there, which I don't really feel that way, although,
(08:01):
like there has been research and studies that have shown
that people who are adopted typically.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Do have an abandonment wound, and I.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Would love to bring on an expert to dive deeper
into that and see if that really does apply to
me or not subconsciously because at birth, like.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Birth first of all, is a.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Very traumatic experience and we are wired in our brains
not to remember birth. But like I was also a
premature baby, so the umbilical cord was wrapped around my
neck and I lost oxygen to my brain and they
had to perform an emergency c section on my birth mom,
and then I was put in the nick you for
(08:45):
an amount of time. And I know that like those
first moments of childbirth are very important to like foster
that connection, the body on body contact, and even like breastfeeding,
and so I wasn't breastfed as a child, and I
did have that traumatic experience that obviously I don't remember,
(09:09):
but you know, those are all little factors that could
play into a bigger dynamic.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
It also seems like your situation was more of a surrogacy,
right because your birth mom carried you for your mom
so and you know, they whatever their relationship is, they
are still related and knew each other, and it wasn't
you know. And then your mom's circumstances were better for
you than your birth mom, So you know, those abandonment
(09:39):
issues I think, or adoptions where maybe somebody swooped up
and taken into a different circus. Maybe that makes a difference,
but I think in your situation, it seemed like it
was pretty pretty close. And then for your parents to
tell you and make you a part of it, you know,
that has to make you feel loved and wanted and
included in the process. Right, You're not finding something out,
(10:00):
You're you know, proud of the story, like it's it's
made you who you are today.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
The way that you just described that as a sergacy
is exactly kind of what it was.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Before, Like sergacy was a big thing.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Because this is like twenty nine years ago, and I
actually haven't considered it like that before with the term sergacy.
So yeah, that's that's pretty much exactly what it was.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Like does it bother you? Well, look, yours is this
(10:50):
question is two layered, Like as a regular human, does
it bother you? Talking about being adopted or people knowing
your story. But then as the reality star that you are,
does it bother you the way that the you know,
interest internet sphere sort of asks you questions or describes
your story.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, there's a lot of misconceptions and a lot of
fan fiction out there about what my adoption story is
that isn't accurate, and people love to draw conclusions and
fill in the blinks where they actually know nothing about
that part of my life. And the reason why I
have been open about it on the show because like
(11:33):
it's presented in a way that's very open to me
and just something that I've accepted. And it's not like
an identity in any sort of way. It's just like
a fact and something to accept. And so I think
it's I think it does a disservice when people jump
to conclusions and create something that they know nothing about. Yeah,
(12:02):
because and every person's adoption story is different, So to generalize,
to generalize someone's adoption story, I feel like does a
disservice to that person.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Yeah, agreed.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
So wait, so I know you knew from the very beginning,
but like, do you actually remember the first time you
were ever told or how old you were and not really.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
I think the story that was told to me was like,
mommy couldn't get pregnant, and I have a birth mom
and my mom and you know, my sister had you
for me, you know, like your birth mom gave birth and.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Then I don't know, you know, like it was.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
It was presented to me in a way that like
was very basic.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
It made sense.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
But then when people ask me about my siblings, I
kind of go into the adoption story and how I
was adopted because my younger sibling is also adopted, but
from a separate family altogether, and my younger sibling has
had some processing issues and they're on the spectrum and
(13:28):
living with that growing up wasn't easy. But we were
both adopted. However, our adoption origins were very different. Where
she was adopted from this woman who got pregnant at
a very young age and she knew that she couldn't
(13:48):
have the baby in the way that she wanted to
be able to provide for the baby, and knew that
adoption would be the best option. And my parent parents
decided to have an open adoption with that birth mother
as well.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
And I think, I mean, I.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Prefer that I think that's like a healthy way, although
my younger sibling has had some issues feeling like she
wasn't wanted by her birth mom.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
And what is your relationship with your mom and dad? Like?
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Now? I am close with my parents. I love them
very much. They're still married, and they have helped me
through this hardship in my life. And I'm grateful to
be able to fall back on them a little bit
because most people who are in the circumstance that I've
(14:52):
put myself in and found myself in and the consequences
of the actions that I've taken. I'm very lucky you
to have parents that are supportive of me. And I
think that I would be in a very different position
now if I didn't have supportive parents, given the circumstances
(15:14):
that I find myself in.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
And do you think being adopted has influenced who you
are today in any way? Oh?
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, in every way, because I was brought up by
my mom and not my birth mom, and my mom
and my aunt aka my birth mom are very different
people and have very different mindsets and priorities in life.
My mom is a bit of a mama bear like.
(15:45):
She does care for my well being greatly and sometimes
that can be a little overbearing, Like growing up not
being able to do some of the other things that
the other kids got to do. I didn't feel as free,
like I felt more sheltered, and like I didn't have
(16:07):
the same hype of freedom as the other kids. But
I know that my mom was just trying to protect
me and wanted the best for me. Whereas if I
was raised by my birth mom, I think I would
have had a lot more freedom, but I don't know
(16:30):
if that would have been the best for me.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
A lot of adoptions, whether they're open or closed, they
don't really know the other person in their life. You're
seeing it living like playing out right next to you.
So do you ever look at it and go, oh,
thank goodness? Or do you you know, and I don't
mean that negatively, but you know, do you look at
it and say, I'm where I should be and I'm
(16:55):
lucky I'm where I should be, or because most people
don't see what that other circumstance would possibly look like.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
But you do, yes, Yeah, I often think to myself,
I'm right where I should be, and I'm very blessed
to have these circumstances that I am able to have
like very blessed that my mom and my parents adopted me,
and it is interesting to think about, like a lot
(17:24):
of people who have been adopted don't have and the
concept of what their life could have been with their
birth parent or birth parents. And I think maybe there's
something healing and knowing more about what that life could
have been. I think that the circumstances aligned themselves in
(17:49):
a way where I'm able to have a more fulfilling life.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I think that people should stop worrying less about other
people's personal stories. Right when you choose to share them
and share what's inspiring about them, that's great. But people
passing judgment on it or trying to cycle analyze, I
think is a little bit of an unnecessary exercise. But
(18:14):
it's you know, it seems to me like you ended
up where you should be and better for it and
turn into the person that you are.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm trying to be respectful of my family and I
and by talking about this, I risk bringing family members
into something that they did not sign up for.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
And I also.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Like to be open and honest with you guys and
share more about my personal life because I feel like
all of these little things make up who I am,
and by sharing that, I'm able to connect with other
people who identify with those certain parts of themselves as well.
So it's like the balancing act of being respectful for
(19:26):
the parties involved. But I think sharing my adoption story
on vander Pump Rules and being open about it in
my life has just been something that's like matter of
fact to me, and I know a lot of people
who have also been adopted that it is a very
(19:50):
unique circumstance to be in. And you know, I would
love to bring somebody on to dive deeper to the
different types of adoptions and how that can affect somebody.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
Through their life.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
So I posted a slide of a series of photos
on my Instagram this back in October twenty twenty one,
and my Grandma Buttons, who is a legend and my
last standing grandparent, love her so much. She is the
(20:29):
one that gave birth to my birth mom and my
adopted mom, and so just felt compelled to reiterate my
adoption story because I guess that week on vander Pump
was the week that I was talking a little bit
more about my adoption origin story. And I basically say
(20:54):
in this caption that I think my lucky star. I
was raised by such loving parents and I have the
best dad ever, and my mom has been such a
mama bear to me my whole life. And I love
my family so much, especially my Grandma Buttons, who we
(21:16):
all just adore, and she is still alive and sassy
as ever, and she's about to turn ninety. And I just,
you know, like going back and realizing that your family
has a whole lineage biologically, I am related to.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
My mom's side of my family, and so.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
There's a piece of for me that I kind of
like maybe relate to more on that side of the
family because I feel biologically related to that side. And
I was feeling emotional and so appreciative of the circumstances
(22:07):
that I was given through my adoption, and that's why
I was compelled to share this photo.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Would you ever, I mean, you're young and you know,
just embark in in your life, but would you ever
consider adopting?
Speaker 3 (22:26):
I would?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Pregnancy scares the heck out of me, Like the concept
of having a child being grown inside of you is fine,
but then like the giving birth part freaks me out.
So I definitely would consider adopting. If I did adopt.
I I would probably do like an at birth situation
(22:49):
because that's the way that I've experienced it, and I
know that you know, like I know how it has
affected me in learning about my adoption, and so yeah,
I think you know that that could be an option.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
So we'll see.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Grogue.
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