August 22, 2024 • 46 mins
In the world of beauty pageants, you have to be physically and mentally ready to wear the crown-- and falling down and getting back up is all part of the game.
Rachel invites the first openly bisexual Miss USA and Director of the Miss Grand USA Pageant, Rachel Slawson, plus this year's title holder, Cora Griffen, to chat about the highs, the lows, and the long path it takes to finally obtain a pageantry title.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
This is Rachel gos Rogue. Welcome to another episode of
Rachel Goes Rogue with your host, Rachel Savannah Levis. You
may have seen me posting about it on Instagram, but
I was so honored to be a judge at the
Miss Grand USA pageant and today I want to recap
my experience. Joining me, I have pageant director and president
(00:31):
of the Miss Grand USA System, Rachel Slawson. Hi, and
I also have your current title holder, New with the Crown,
Cora Griffin.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Everyone, Thank you for having me. Rachel.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I am so excited. It was such an amazing pageant experience,
and this was my first time judging, so being on
the other side of that panel was such a cool
opportunity and really gave me a fresh new insight on
pageantry as a whole. But Core, you've been competing for
(01:08):
how many years now, and this actually isn't your first
title that you've won, So could you give me a
little bit of your pageant background history and kind of
what led you here today?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Of course. Well, my very very first pageant was when
I was about thirteen years old. I was just playing
around and then I got really serious about it when
I was fifteen years old. One of my best friends
at the time was Miss Alibim was outstanding teen or
was competing for and then she eventually won, and her
grandmother was just telling my mother, you should get core
to do you should get core to do it. And
for me, I was like, yeah, totally, I'm down for
(01:45):
being on stage. And then once I got on there
as a teenager, you're just having fun on stage, You're
learning how to speak, you're learning how to talk. But
I quickly realized how good it was for me. I
tell people this all the time I started, and I
didn't win for four years. I wasn't competing in one
or two pageants yr. I was competing in about ten
fifteen twenty pageants maybe a year in that pageant season.
(02:06):
Because you had to win a local to even compete
at state. There was no like coming at large. And
so four years of not winning and so I think,
you know, now people can see the successes. But I
like when you know, people like you give me a
platform to speak about my journey, so they can see
that this isn't something that happens overnight. It's something that
you really have to work toward. If you're serious about it,
(02:29):
and it's something that you can't accomplish if you just
continue to persevere. So that's just a little bit about it.
I'm sure we'll get more into it, but been doing
for a long time. I'm twenty eight now, so it's
about thirteen to fifteen years of pageantry. But you know,
anything worth having is worth working for, and I say
that all the time.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, definitely, it's it's like a lot of time, a
lot of energy. There's a lot of bloods, button tears
that people don't see, and working so hard, dedicating your
life to pretty much this title, and meeting incredible people
along the way. Rachel, maybe you could tell me a
(03:06):
little bit about, like, with the time and dedication put
into pageantry, there's only one title holder at the end
of the day, and what has been your experience and
what is your advice for the women who compete for
the title and don't ultimately win.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
I would say that for the women who compete that
don't win, it's obviously a really painful experience. I think
to pretend that it's not is unfair. I've competed in
patentry myself for many years. I competed for about ten years,
so I've experienced it. I've experienced it, and it is
a feeling of rejection, and I think that that is
something that gets kind of ignored in a lot of systems.
(03:46):
They kind of just pretend like that that doesn't happen,
and they focus all the attention on the winner. But
I think being just really honest about what it is
allows women to learn emotional regulation skills and learn how
to deal with projection. It's not like the woman is
being rejected for who she is. It just wasn't her
moment or that time that night. So I think it's
really important for women who compete to remember that one
(04:09):
rejection is not going to dictate the rest of your life.
And usually it is redirection. I think it's it's usually
all meant to be in some way, and it's leading
you towards either learning more skills or bettering yourself so
that if it is what you want to do, you
come back more prepared. I mean, I believe it's an
advantage in a way when you're rejected, because now you
have more learning experience that you can use to apply
(04:29):
for the next time that you compete.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
So when I competed for Miss California, USA, I started
as a teen like Cora, and I through the years
just worked on my public speaking skills and pushing myself
outside my comfort zone. And eventually I reached the age
of twenty seven and it was my last year to
compete for the title because this is before they put
(04:53):
the age cap on the USA system. And when I
didn't win, I I went through this whole identity crisis
and I kind of lost myself a little. But I
think now with the age cap lifted, I've been getting
asked a lot, will you compete again? And I think
(05:16):
right now the answer would be not yet. Although although
judging this weekend has been so like it was really
like a breath of fresh air in my pageant experience
and there was like some healing that happened for me
revisiting this from a new perspective. And Rachel, the way
(05:37):
that you planned this pageant and organized it and the
fact that it was in Miami, of all places, is
just so phenomenal. And I think like all of the
girls got the opportunity to dress up and really express
themselves through their fashion, and we did a karaoke competition.
You know, all these little things that I actually haven't
(05:59):
seen in the USA system necessarily, So I just wanted
to commend you for a job well done. And this
was your first pageant that you directed yourself. So how
did you get into stepping into the role of being
a pageant director?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
That's a great question.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
I mean, I would say the opportunity itself kind of
fell in my lap from going to compete internationally. I
was Miss Grand Ireland, so I went to Vietnam, I
met the whole international team. I was able to build
relationships while I was over there. But in terms of,
you know, wanting to revisit in a fresh perspective, I
think also just as a former title holder, we all
have this fun idea of in our head as to
(06:38):
what we think pageants will be or what we would
like them to be. And I think I've experienced a
lot of disappointment actually where I would go to a
pageant and leave thinking that wasn't quite the experience that.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
I thought it would be.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
It looked a lot more glamorous on the internet, and
it's true, even the perfect pageant is probably more glamorous
on the Internet than it is reality because it's a
tough competition. But my biggest vision is just making it
as fun as possible for the girls, because if you
don't win again, there's only one who does, so it's
not great odds for the rest of them. And so
I think the biggest thing is just wanting it to
(07:10):
be as glamorous and it's fun and it's cool and
as many cool opportunities you can get out of it,
so that every titleholder.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Has another opportunity.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
I know another girl who did not place this year
has already been booked to walk in York Fashion Week,
So a lot of cool opportunities.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
That is so awesome. Cora, did you know that you
were going to take home the crown? Did you have
that like internal feeling inside of you going into this pageant?
What was your mindset going in, and like, did you
feel pretty confident that you're going to take home the crown?
Speaker 3 (07:41):
I felt confident that I could do the job, but
I didn't necessarily think I was going to take home
the crown as soon as I entered the pageant. You
know when you said you know, not yet to your
pageant journey, I really resonated with that. For me, I
was like never again. After our commuter in USA, I
was like never again. And so I that journey was
(08:02):
kind kind of different for me. So coming back in
you're like, you're a little jaded, you're a little skeptical.
And so for me, no, I didn't. I and I
was putting myself out there, you know, and putting yourself
out there can be a scary thing, especially when you've
already accomplished so much success, like in pageantry, and so
putting yourself out there again to possibly ruin that or
(08:24):
tarnish that, that was like a big thing for me.
And I really didn't want to do that, and so
I knew that if I was gonna do it, I
had to give my all. I had to leave everything
on the stage, because you know, the worst thing is, oh,
she did so bad, and how did she even get
to USA if she if she did that bad? And
so I think if there was pressure there, but I
knew that I had a good team around me. These
(08:45):
people really encourage me. They're like, you need to get
over this, you need to put yourself first. You need
to just show the world what you have, remember who
you are. And I remember after swim swim prelims, I
wasn't feeling as confident in my preliminary performance just because
I really am a perfectionist when it comes to those
type of things because I know that you have to
be undeniable in this industry because it's so subjective. And
(09:07):
I called on my mentors and she was like, you
need to remember who you are, remember who you are,
and I from that moment I was, Okay, we're here.
I just had to trust myself. You know, I'm very competitive,
but I will say the answer to that question is no.
I knew that I could do the job. But again,
pageantry is very subjective. You know, I could do my
very best. I could say in my head, I have
(09:28):
the best performance, but someone else may not have like
the color I had on or something. So pageants they're difficult.
There aren't a set amount of points that you can
get for taking a certain step, like it's based on
the judge's opinion, and you just have to be the
most likable, the most brandable, and put on a stellar performance.
And that's just really what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
What's something that you've learned about yourself through pageants?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Quora?
Speaker 3 (09:53):
So many things. One thing that I've learned and the
reason why I wanted to continue to do this is
because it has sharpened me and given me the skill
set necessary to continue life in a way that I
know that I'm going to succeed. I think a lot
of us have a fear of failure, and pageantry has
really taught me that I can do anything that I
set my mind to. There is nothing to be afraid of.
(10:15):
And even going into the international level, I have incredible competition,
high caliber competition at this level, but I don't have
any doubts that I can't compete on that level. And
pagentry has given me that, because when you are competing
against so many incredible women, you have to really search
and find those things that make you unique, because it's
so easy to look at everyone else next to you
and like, Okay, we're all women, we're all beautiful. But
(10:35):
then pageantry really forces you to search and find those
unique things about yourself and hone in on those and
grab on those. And I think that's why when I'm
in the interview room or I'm on stage, I know
the things that make me unique. I know my background.
My experience is no one has ever lived my life
through my shoes or my len so that in itself
is a unique experience. And I think I carry that
(10:58):
with me everywhere, and pageantry, I said, has forced me
to find those things because everyone can be beautiful and
have a great body, but no one has your life experience.
No one sees life through your perspective, and that alone
is something that gives you an advantage.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah. I just have to say, in your interview, you
really blew us all away. And just from like your style.
You wore this beautiful like beau collared shirt dress outfit,
very feminine, and the way that you spoke about your character,
(11:33):
we could pick up on that feminine energy and it
was something that was so peeling and refreshing. What are
some of those unique things about yourself that really sets
you apart from the other contestants?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
You know, I always tell people this, Like the first
thing that I say is that me, I'm a woman
of faith, and that's something that I rooted and grounded in.
And you know, being in pedantry, it is an industry
of comparison, and so I think that drove me closer
to God. Knowing that I was telling Rachel this a
couple of days ago, maybe yesterday, Like, if God's thoughts
towards me are as many as the sand, then I
(12:09):
should be feeling good about myself. The creative of the
universe fill is that way about me, and so that's one.
But also, like you said earlier, no one has a
certain life experiences that I have. No one lives life
through my perspective, and so when you value your perspective,
then you can trust yourself in what you have to say.
And I think that really shines forth when I'm an
interview and I want people to know that when we
(12:30):
say you're unique, we're not saying that as a cliche,
but you have to believe it in order for people
to feel it. If you're going around and saying you're
unique and you don't really believe it, then it's not
going to translate well. But you have to know that
there is not one person on the planet that is
made like you, that looks like you, that acts like you.
There are so many things about us that make us unique.
Your eye color, your hair color, your face shape, the
(12:52):
way you walk, the way you talk, so many different things,
and you just have to find those small things because
people are beautiful. People have all these same characteristics or attributes,
but there is no one else in the world like you.
Like I think we really take for granted that we
all have different fingerprints, right, Like, how is that possible?
There are millions, billions of people in the world, but
(13:12):
every single one of us have has a different fingerprint,
and I think that is also a reflection of our
ability to be unique. But sometimes it's hard to see that.
But we just really have to remain present and in
that moment. And like I was saying earlier, I think
when you're in pageantry and you're around so many beautiful people,
if you want to stand out and you have to
go search for those treasures about yourself, and that does
(13:35):
take some self awareness, probably some therapy. You know, all
of us really advocate for therapy, and so I would
really encourage people to do that and hold on to
your ability to be unique and hold on to your
life perspectives that no one else has ever seen or
will see.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Yeah, I think a common misconception and something that I
see in the comments section a lot is people criticizing
me for being a pageant girl and saying that I
like competing against other women. And I think a big
misconception with pageantry is actually, if you're comparing yourself to
the girl next to you, you're probably not going to
do very well. It's all about this mental game of
(14:13):
comparing yourself to the person that you were yesterday or
the year before, and just like honing in on that
progress because otherwise you just can't compare yourself to other people.
Because everyone's very unique and we have different things to offer,
and we're all worthy in our own way. You just
have to like really own that and know that.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Yeah, even when it comes to our wardrobe, everyone's body
shape is unique. And so if you're looking at someone
else's wardrobe saying, oh, I should have worn that, but
that might might not look good on you, or you're
looking at her makeup saying I should have done this
to my makeup, but you don't have the same face shape.
And I think those are the small things that we
have to talk about in pageantry, where it's like, like
you said, if you're looking to the person that's next
to you or beside you, you're probably not going to
(14:55):
do that well because you're not focusing and capitalizing and
leveraging those things about yourself that make you unique your
own style. And I like how you brought up, like, oh,
the feminine energy kind of just radiates an interview because
I think Grand really appreciates that. You know, they recognize
that we can be feminine, we can be hot, we
can be grand, we can be sexy and intelligent all
(15:16):
in the same package. And that's something that I really
appreciate about this organization.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Rachel, I mean, you are a unique title holder in
your own right. So Rachel Slawson was Miss Utah twenty twenty.
So when Rachel competed for Miss USA, she was very
loud and proud with her sexuality and she is the
(15:43):
first openly bisexual contestant that competed at Miss USA. What
did that feel like to have that title and where
did you find the courage to be so open about
your sexuality.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
It's funny you asked that because I was actually thinking
about that today. I think as women, no matter who
you are, whether you're a titleholder, a podcast host, a
TV star, people will always have something to say about
you just for being a woman. People will always have
something critical to say. And I've found that the only
way that I can deal with that, especially as someone
who openly discusses that I have challenges with my mental health.
(16:21):
They're a lot better than they were two years ago,
four years ago. They get better every year, but it's
still something that I have to actively work on. And
so the way that I deal with people's opinions and
the bravery that I've had to find is finding a
purpose it's greater than myself. So recognizing that a lot
of women struggle with their mental health and a lot
of women struggle with questions about their sexuality, and knowing
(16:44):
that there's not just me going through these things and
having a higher purpose, that's how I deal with it.
It's a lot easier to get up every day and
serve when you recognize that you're not just doing it
for yourself, You're doing it for other people. And there
will still be people to have something to say about you,
but it's really not about them, And in fact, the
ones who are criticizing it sometimes it is about them.
Sometimes they're criticizing you because they're in the same position
(17:05):
and they don't have that kindness and that acceptance.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
So I would just say that.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Having a higher purpose makes it really easy to be brave,
and it's about really having just like a loving heart
for those that live outside of your own experience.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Definitely something that I really appreciated about the Miss grand
Usa pagn't is in your direction with it was the
(17:38):
fact that there was therapists and counselors on call at
all times. You were kind of laughing like, Yeah, all
of my friends are licensed counselors basically so, and all
of the final questions and the speech that the women
had to give on stage were based around mental health,
(18:00):
how they're advocating for mental health, and how they would
continue to advocate given the title. So obviously, as a
mental health advocate, I really appreciate that, and I was
listening to the women's answers like with a very critical ear,
like did they answer the question? Are they authentic with it?
(18:21):
But for you, Rachel, why was it so important to
implement mental health in this year's pageant?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
It's funny you say that. I do joke that I'm
surrounded by mental health professionals and that's how I made
it as far as I have.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
But in all seriousness, mental health advocacy was always my
platform and pageantry. Suicide prevention was always a big cause
as to why I competed, and I am a certified
crisis counselor, which means I've been a part of over
one hundred active suicide rescues, So I think, you know,
I don't necessarily think we'll have this exact same focus
on mental health as you know the entire show every year,
(18:55):
but it is something I definitely want to highlight through
this organization because I do believe people are drawn to
pageantry because they are seeking confidence, and sometimes that's from
a place of external validation. Sometimes they do know who
they are and they just want to keep practicing and
really show that confidence. But whatever stage a woman is in,
whether she has absolutely no self esteem and she's signing
up for a pageant, or she knows she came to win,
(19:16):
I want her to feel supported and welcome. You know,
that's how I grew. I wasn't always a self loving,
healthy individual. I've struggled, like I said, with my mental health,
my confidence. I tried to end my life after a
pageant when I was nineteen years old. So I have
so much empathy and compassion. I would never say, oh,
don't come to pageants. You know, if you struggle with
your mental health, I think you should say no. Actually,
(19:38):
let's provide more resources because everyone struggles with their mental
health sometimes, So we want to make sure that these
women have the support that they need and the acceptance.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
That they need in order to grow.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
You might not win your first year if you're really
struggling with your confidence, but you might actually walk away
with something that matters, which is real self worth and confidence.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, really honing in on that because I think a
lot of women do feel drawn to compete in a
pageant to work on their self confidence. That's why I
was drawn to it. And I don't have like the
best self esteem, but I feel like pageants definitely helped
me in a lot of ways be able to find
that within myself. But it's also risky because you kind
(20:20):
of are seeking this external validation in a way, and
I think through the journey, it's it's realizing that there
needs to be less emphasis on other people accepting you
and more of like this internal validation and shining your
light from within. So that has been a whole journey
that I've experienced through my pageant life.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
I think that's actually something that Corus said really well,
you know, Coora, you mentioned becoming undeniable, and I think,
like you said, that's not about what other people have
to think about you. That's walking into a room and
you aren't denying yourself so other people can see that.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, Rachel, I'm curious to know you said that you
learned some things being on the other side. What have
you taken away from this?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Oh gosh, besides it being like so fun and a
lot less stressful. Honestly, I'm like, I think I like
judging more than I like competing, but I think just
like seeing everybody interviews. For me, competing were always the
most difficult portion of the competition, and you know, I
(21:27):
get my own head sometimes, and so when I was
participating asking questions to the contestants in the judge's room,
that was actually one of my favorite parts of the pageant.
And getting to form a question that I felt like
would suit the contestant best and like bring out an
(21:49):
answer for all of us to learn something about the
contestant was very rewarding. I think I have a newfound
love and appreciation for the interview portion of the pageant competition,
And if I did go back to compete again, I
think I would kind of walk into that interview room
(22:10):
with a newfound confidence. Given that experience and also having
this podcast too, I've just been obviously practicing speaking a
lot more and feeling more comfortable with the message that
I have to share with other people. But besides that,
I think you guys just exuded this personality and confidence
(22:33):
and just so much fun. And I also appreciated, you know,
the judges and the contestants remained separate, but we went
to many events together and so it was cool seeing
you guys outside of like your pageant typical situation that
you would normally see in like something like the USA system.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Yeah, we're definitely still working. I would see the judges
like even in the lobby, we will all be like
straighten up for a second.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
That.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
But I used to tell people swim where used to
be my favorite portion of competition, and now it has
become interview. I still love swim because I just I
just love some so sassy and fears. But I do
love interview too because you really get an opportunity to
connect on a personal level. And I love that Rachel
gave us seven minutes to do the interview rather than
like three or four. I'm used to a ten minute
(23:25):
interview anyway, So the seven minutes it was perfect. It
was really good. I think it really captured everything that
we needed to kind of discuss.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Yeah, and for you you've done a lot of work
with children. What was the foundation that you worked closely
with and why is that so near and dear to
your heart?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
And as I started off doing like bullying campaigns like
when I was like a teenager, but then I started
my own back in twenty twenty. It was called Beautifully Purpose.
So when I was growing up, I went to like
an all girls organization called Girls Inc. And young girls
have always had my heart because myself, I'm a young girl.
And also you know, I know we've talked about this
a lot, but it really is a foundational part of
(24:05):
why I love serving young girls, and now it has
extended to young boys as well. But being a little
girl and only child and losing her father, I think
that really shaped me. And you guys asked me about that.
As soon as I sat down, you are like, okay,
how to right into the deep with me?
Speaker 1 (24:20):
That was me. I'm so sorry I didn't even let
you have the chance to introduce you yourself. That I
read your bio and I was like, oh my gosh,
I want to ask her this and it was like
such a deep question, like right off the bat, I'm like,
oh my gosh, that's kind of embarrassing, So I apologize
for that, but yeah, I was just I wanted to
know like how, I mean, how losing your father had
(24:43):
shaped you into the woman that you've become. That's something
that I can't even fathom.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Yeah, and I really appreciate you asking that off the top,
because I really do think it's set the tone for
the interview, like you know, we're going to get into it,
and we're going to go ahead and get into some substance.
So I really did appreciate that we kind of lighted
up towards the end. But I started the organization because
I had this platform, you know, being a state title holder,
and I wanted to use it. And I was already
(25:08):
doing community work, but I wanted to put my name
on it. And so I would talk to young girls
and all girl organizations and I would give them Coco's
confidence tips, because yeah, we can talk to them about
these things, but I wanted to give them like practical
tips on how to remain confident because everyone is not
going to compete in a pageant, everyone isn't going to
do organized sports, and so to spend that time with them,
(25:30):
you know, like Rachel was saying, people are a drawn
a pageantry because you know, we are beautiful women, and
how are we going to use that. My mom always
told me that people are drawing you because you're beautiful,
but what are you going to leave them with? And
I wanted my legacy to be, yes, you're drawing because
I'm beautiful, but I left you with something. I seen you,
I heard you, and now you feel seen and heard.
(25:51):
Some people don't feel seen and heard in the world.
And so that's something that I wanted to do. Still
do that and now it extends to me like reading
a children. I love to read. I'm an abbot reader.
Was an editor in chief for two years and so
I kind of turned, you know, reading and writing into
a career. But I wanted to reimagine reading as well.
You know a lot of people think reading is boring,
but it's really not. Guys really not have to find
(26:12):
something that you're interested in. But I was working with
Cobb County Library because they have this organization that gives
three books to children because you have to have a
library car, some of these things cost money and everyone
doesn't have those resources. So they have a book mobile
that comes around in Cobb County and ale Go volunteer
and read to the kids. Sometimes I'll wear a crown
and sash and they will be so excited to read.
(26:34):
But I think one thing that I really love is
I love children because these are their molding years. These
are the years that you know, they may not remember
specifically what happened, but they're going to remember those skills
and assets that you gave them, and that's going to
shape them moving forward. And so I had those resources
when I was younger. And what is our life about
(26:55):
if we're not pouring into the next generation. I know
people say that all the time, but it's really true.
When you're serving other people, it really does make you
feel better. And especially children, you know, they're living in
a time where social media is prevalent, misinformation is prevalent,
everything is just literally at their disposal at this young age,
and so I think it's very important to instill these
(27:16):
values in them, such as reading, writing, literacy, not just
reading words on a page, but also knowing how to
interpret the words that you're reading. And that's why children
have always been very important to me, and that's something
that I know I will continue to do long after
my pageant career is done.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I love that and your Hoko what did you call it?
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Hok's confidence?
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Ah? I love that. Can you give us three?
Speaker 3 (27:40):
One was like, don't fall into perfectionism, Okay, you know
who you are. And the one that we really wanted
to I had a hashtag was called hashtag one oay
K and it was hashtag one of a kind basically
that's what The last one was like, No, you are
one of a kind and you know people like you
said earlier, what is this called cofidence about? Like how
do you gain it? It's really just knowing there's not
(28:03):
one person like me on this earth. And people can
take that as whatever they want to take it as,
like overconfidence. But I think people have to understand that,
you know, walk in your power, walk in knowing who
you are, walk in your light, because that these are
things that make people drawn to you even more than
just your beautiful face. We know so many beautiful people
that just don't have a good energy, you know, that
(28:24):
are rude or mean to people, are not kind. But
there's just so many things that you know, I could say,
and I'm grateful to have this platform to continue to
push that. And also I want to say to walk
into the interview panel with all these beautiful women. I'm
like I was, I was lucky, nervous. We had a
(28:46):
nice girl's chat.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
So for both of you, what is the biggest misconception
that people have about pageants?
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Where do we start, alphabetically should be? I would say
that it's superficial, that it's vain, that's damaging to women's
self esteem. That's probably the biggest misconception. I mean, I
don't think there's anything superficial or vain about beauty, simply
because every woman wants to feel beautiful and their definition
of that is going to look completely different. But I
(29:26):
think beauty is something that everyone is drawn to. Again,
beauty is subjective, so there's many kinds of beauty. But
I don't think there's anything wrong with someone wanting to
know how what colors look good on them, or how
to do their makeup or their hair. I don't think
that's superficial. I think, if anything, that actually does build
confidence because you get to see yourself reflective back in
the mirrors who you want to be and you don't.
(29:47):
You definitely don't need makeup to be beautiful. Like I said,
it's subjective, But what women who are drawn to pageantsr
you are drawn to that specific aesthetic, which I am myself.
I love glamour, I love fashion, and it's really fun
to have that place to dress up.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
And then also in terms of it being damaging to well.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Being, I think it can be if the resources and
support isn't there. You know, if a contestant is coming
in all by herself and has no support from her family,
her friends, her team, her coaches, experience is a huge
rejection and then doesn't know how to deal with those emotions,
that could totally be damaging, just like any any traumatic
situation can happen in any industry without the right support.
(30:23):
So I think the most important thing, that's why I say,
is like call it what it is. Acknowledge that it
hurts when you don't win. Acknowledge that those feelings are painful.
Acknowledge that you might need some support. Tell your family like, Hey,
I'm going to do something that's really big and scary.
I'm putting myself out there and I might not get it.
Can we have a plan in place in case I
don't win? Like I want a plan to win, but
can we have something to do after in case I'm
(30:44):
really upset? For a week or in my case, a
few months, you know, because everybody handles emotions differently, and
everyone regulates their emotions differently, And I think that's what
pageants are cool, because it gives you a.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Place to practice.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
It's kind of, in some way, a controlled environment where
you're opting in knowing that you're going to experience criticism.
You know you're going to experience judgment, and you know
you're going to experience some form of rejection. Even as
a winner, you're probably experiencing micro rejections along the way
or from people that are watching online afterwards. So you're
kind of opting in to experience those feelings, which some
people say is a little crazy.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
I think they're maybe not completely wrong.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Pageant girls, I might feel a little bit. I'm just kidding,
but I.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Think more than anything, you are opting into a controlled
environment to practice regulating your emotions and to practice these
difficult experiences, and with the right support there, I actually
think it can be really helpful and positive.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, let's dive in a little bit deeper on that
rejection aspect. How do you handle rejection and how do
you come out of that darkness?
Speaker 3 (31:43):
I would say one day at a time. That's how
I feel like I've gotten over it in the past,
knowing that it will pass, and also allowing myself to
fully feel I know. I would tell people this all
the time, like when I left you, I say, I
kind of just you know, suppressed it. But then after that,
when I would deal with situations that were possibly rejection,
(32:05):
I would allow myself to feel those feelings completely and
not make myself feel bad about it or try to
move on too quickly, Like if I felt bad, if
I felt hurt, if I felt disappointed, I would sit
with that and go deeper. Why do you feel disappointed
about this? What really is it? Why do you feel rejected?
What meaning are you giving this? Are you feeling not
good enough? Are you feeling like this person doesn't like you?
(32:26):
Are you feeling like you know you're a failure? Trying
to get to the root of it, and then asking
myself is that absolutely true? Like are you a failure? No?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
You know?
Speaker 3 (32:34):
And I think that's you know, the therapy side. You know,
I'm getting into it, but I like myself to truly
feel it, continuing to ask questions when I'm feeling that,
and then giving myself.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
Grace I would add education really helps a lot, like
educating myself about my own unique mental health and my
brain and my brain chemistry, and understanding that different people's
brains are going to respond to rejection differently, and different
people's brains are going to respond to things differently. I'm
nerve divergent. I've had a lot of experiences with different
(33:04):
diagnoses through my mental health. It's changed as I've healed.
I don't think it's necessarily a stagnant thing as we
once thought it was maybe five ten years ago. I
do think the brain can heal from mental health challenges.
But I am definitely neurodivergent, which means I process information
differently than other people do, and I process my emotions
differently than other two And also that's part of being
an artist too.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I'm an artist as well.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
Neurodivergent people are often incredible artists because they experience sensory
information really differently and they express it differently. So I
think the more you can educate yourself about your brain,
and the more you can educate yourself about yourself about
your own experience, it's a lot easier to communicate to
other people so they can understand you better, and it
also makes it easier to take things less personally, so
(33:46):
when people are criticizing you, you can actually think to yourself, Oh,
this person's just not educated as to what's happening here.
They just don't have the education needed and that's why
they're being critical because they just don't know. And there's
also an innocence in that, so you can kind of
see innocence and people when they criticize you, instead of
thinking that they're just these mean, hateful people, they just
genuinely don't know that there's actually like research and science
(34:10):
and factual information as to why everyone's different and experiences
things differently.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
That's so beautifully put. I really can relate to that
because I do get criticized quite a bit with the
people that watch vander Pump Rules and people trying to
box me in and label me as a specific thing.
But as a human being, we're just so much more
(34:37):
complicated then that.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
What is that like for you to have such a
huge platform and you know, people coming at you negatively,
Like I know, we just talked about dealing with that,
but realistically a person can only, you know, take so much,
So how do you find that balance of having a
reset all the time because it never stops coming.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, So it's gotten so noisy that it's just like
white noise at this point. But it's very interesting because
when I first started competing in pageants trying to get
out of my comfort zone and overcome that fear of
being judged, I would take what people would say about
(35:18):
me with heavy weight, and you know, that would influence
how I viewed myself. And that has like some major
like codependency trauma, like dealing with like how I relate
to other people that I've began to heal over the years.
So now at this point, it's like all of that noise.
(35:41):
It's very easy to get wrapped up in it, and
it's very easy to like want to defend yourself and
all that stuff. And I went through my phases of
doing that this past six months, but at a certain
point it's like, Okay, I just can't do this for
my mental well being. It's so draining, it's so toxic,
(36:04):
it's exhausting, and I kind of just had to like
let go of people's perception of me and really focus
in on the people who are actually in my life
and the new friendships that I get to make in
real life and just know that, like, Okay, the feedback
that I'm getting from those people that know me on
(36:27):
a personal level is nothing like the feedback that I'm
getting online, So really prioritizing that reality as opposed to
this virtual reality.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
I love that you shared that I'm one of your
new friends.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
I know, yeah, both of you guys and the other
dudges that were competing that weekend. I really got to
know on a personal level, and I feel like we
all have our own strengths and in a way we
kind of like play well with each other. Rachel, Like,
what was your selection process for choosing the judges.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
I would say the biggest thing is just having a
diverse group of women so that there's many different perspectives
so that the winner is chosen as fairly as possible.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
It's pageantry, it's subjective.
Speaker 4 (37:14):
It will never be like basketball where you know exactly
how many balls went in the hoop. It's just different.
But if you have more diverse group, it allows for
a choice to be made that's a little bit more objective.
And then also I would say a lot of the
women I either know personally or have just like in
your case, I didn't know you super personally. We've followed
each other for a long time, but I've just watched
(37:36):
what you've gone through, and I think, to me, that
speaks to the empathy that gets developed in those sort
of situations. And that's really what the type of women
that I like to be surrounded by is women who
have true empathy for each other. And so sometimes when
you've gone through more painful or difficult life experiences, you're
just more likely to have that awareness and that emotional intelligence.
(37:56):
And so those are the kind of qualities that I
look for in both friends and in judges, because these
women are going to go through so many different things
at internationals, you know, throughout the year, and it takes
someone who has empathy for their experience too, because you know,
I don't expect a title holder to be perfect.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
That's not my expectation. I'm not perfect.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
That would be such a hypocritical expectation, and for any
of the judges to think that a title holder should
be perfect would also be hypocritical. So I like people
who embrace their imperfections. It just makes it, I think,
a healthier environment overall. And then also just you know,
have experience in fashion and beauty and know the industry
(38:37):
because they're not much more likely to know what will
succeed and international competition so.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Well said, And I feel like with like anything in
the entertainment industry as well. Like when I was judging
you guys competing, I was like, oh, man, like, I
feel like you guys could go so far in whatever
you put your mind to in the entertainment industry, whether
that's modeling or acting or whatever it may be.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
You guys did have really great chemistry. I know you
said that y'all played well together, but the judges like,
you guys looked like you were having the best time,
and it just seems like you guys were on one accord.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Yeah, if you had a daughter one day, would you
put them in pageants where you'll go first first?
Speaker 4 (39:23):
So honestly, I don't. I don't think I would put
them in child pageants by any means. As a teenager,
I would be skeptical but open as long as she
had again, like a really great system and a really
great support system. As an adult, almost the same answer, yes,
(39:46):
one hundred percent. But like I think the important thing
I would send my daughter and is just you know,
make sure that you have a good team, and that's
why I'm so focused on building a great team through
our organization so that it is a safe place for
women to come through. I personally don't believe in child
pageants at all. You know, that's just my personal belief.
I don't really agree with that, but I respect and
(40:07):
support if that's healthy for other people.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
And I just don't know it. It could be something
that I know.
Speaker 4 (40:12):
Nothing about, and maybe it is that, but I probably
would only let my teenager do it if she already
had a therapist that she was working with, even if
she didn't struggle with her mental health, just so that
she again again had real support to start practicing dealing
with those emotions. I don't think it's a bad thing
for teenagers to experience rejection, so long as they have
again the right support system to help them start to
(40:32):
learn those emotional safety skills at a young age.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
For you, Cora, it will be up to them completely,
you know, just like parents that play basketball or do
certain things are like, I'm not going to force my
child to do it, but if they want to do it,
then they can do it. I'm going to try to
prepare her as best as possible. I'm pretty sure she
would probably want to be like her mother because her
mother's so grand, But you know, it would completely be
(40:59):
up to her if I've seen it going down a
dark path, which I think with any sport, like if
you played a competitive sport, it can get really competitive
easy because like you said, once you get to that
high level, it's only a certain amount of people that
can make it to a high level. But you know,
pageantry has just done so much for me, and I
think it would be negligent for me to deny Hear
(41:21):
that opportunity, So I'm going to leave that up to her.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
I think the.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
Biggest thing is just not pressuring or forcing women to
do it, because you did are making them feel like
they have to then follow in your footsteps. That's the
biggest thing, is just like letting it be her own choice.
I love that you said that. What about you, Rachel.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
I've been asked this by my producers, and I had
a very similar answer, like, if my daughter asked to
be in a pageant, then I would support her with that.
But like you, Rachel, like I'm not going to put
my daughter in a toddler some Tiara's pageant.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Will make fun of me when I say I'm not
giving my child social media until they turn fifteen. Internet
is so different Nowaday, It's like the Internet is insane,
like they have access to everything. I just don't think it.
I don't unless it should have access to that much
at that age.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
I love that you say fifteen, Ora.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
If I make this possible, I wouldn't give social media
to my child till they're like twenty five.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
I only say fifteen because I don't want to be canfuled.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
I was gonna say that's so legal, I could never die,
but never actually withhold that for my child.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Just to be clear, we have no phone. I'm just
gonna put a track. You're twenty six.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Here you go.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Here's your cel phone for the first time. Here's their
cell phone. It still has restrictions on it.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
But okay, last question, what message do you hope people
take away who are listening right now from your stories?
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Definitely perseverance. I think my life has been. If I
could send enough in one word, it will be perseverance.
You know, I have a book here down here, so
many you have like a little library. It says talent
is never enough, and sometimes you can be the most talented,
but if you don't have the grit and the perseverance
to go further than anyone else, then you're just gonna
(43:06):
be a person that's talented. But the person that lasts
the longest, then I think that's a person that's going
to ultimately succeed because they didn't give up. I didn't
only get back into pageantry because I wanted to see
myself succeed, but I knew that this is an incredible
comeback for me. My team said, if you can pull
this off, this would be an incredible combat and people
can see that. And I was again when I gave
(43:27):
you my speech, that was my real life. I know
that our testimony is my testimony, Rachel, yours, all of ours.
These are the things that keep people going, you know,
and I think we have to share them because people
really they gain their strength from knowing that this is possible,
it can be done. And so that's what I want
to leave with is perseverance. Don't give up in the
(43:50):
face of that first day. I know everyone wants things
handed to them the easy way, but life is just
not that way. Sometimes it is, but a lot of
times it's not. So Perseverance that's gonna be the word.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
M m. Yeah. And then for you, Rachel, what's a
message that you hope people listening will take away from
our conversation?
Speaker 4 (44:08):
I would say self acceptance. That you will get so
far in life if you just really start to accept
yourself for your strengths, your weaknesses, and even your mistakes.
I've made plenty of mistakes, even in pageantry, you know,
and I own those. I own every mistake and every
decision I've made. I've taken accountability for them all. I've
learned from them all, and honestly, I love my mistakes.
(44:30):
I love my weaknesses just as much as I love
my strengths.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
And you know, my.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
Personality and the beauty and all the great things that
I have. I really do actually view my weaknesses as
strengths now, even though sometimes they still limit me. Sometimes
I deal with limitations. I think my limitations are a
gift from God too. So I would say just really
learning to see yourself that way and be able to
have that kind of kindness and compassion for you yourself.
There's really nothing that will stop you if you are
(44:56):
undeniable to yourself.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Thank you guys so much for joining me today. On
Rachel Goes Rogue. It really has been like such a
joy having you both on and I'm happy this came
into fruition. I was telling Rachel and like, ooh, what
if I have you on as a guest and whoever
the new titleholder is, and she's like, yeah, let's do it,
Like yes, go. So everyone who is listening right now,
(45:22):
I really highly encourage you to follow both of these
lovely women on Instagram. You can follow Rachel at Salty Rachel,
and then please please follow Cora because the more Instagram
followers the better when she competes internationally, So go give
her a follow and show her your support. It is
(45:45):
at Cora Lynn g c O r A l y
n NG and the.
Speaker 4 (45:52):
Miss Grand USA account is also at official Miss Grand Usa.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Yes go follow the Miss Grand Usa account. Gorgeous women
and such empowering messages.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
Thank you so much for having us.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Thank you guys, Thank you Rachel, it was a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Rogue.
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive video content
at Rachel gos Rogue Podcast
This is Rachel gos Rogue. Welcome to another episode of
Rachel Goes Rogue with your host, Rachel Savannah Levis. You
may have seen me posting about it on Instagram, but
I was so honored to be a judge at the
Miss Grand USA pageant and today I want to recap
my experience. Joining me, I have pageant director and president
(00:31):
of the Miss Grand USA System, Rachel Slawson. Hi, and
I also have your current title holder, New with the Crown,
Cora Griffin.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Everyone, Thank you for having me. Rachel.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I am so excited. It was such an amazing pageant experience,
and this was my first time judging, so being on
the other side of that panel was such a cool
opportunity and really gave me a fresh new insight on
pageantry as a whole. But Core, you've been competing for
(01:08):
how many years now, and this actually isn't your first
title that you've won, So could you give me a
little bit of your pageant background history and kind of
what led you here today?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Of course. Well, my very very first pageant was when
I was about thirteen years old. I was just playing
around and then I got really serious about it when
I was fifteen years old. One of my best friends
at the time was Miss Alibim was outstanding teen or
was competing for and then she eventually won, and her
grandmother was just telling my mother, you should get core
to do you should get core to do it. And
for me, I was like, yeah, totally, I'm down for
(01:45):
being on stage. And then once I got on there
as a teenager, you're just having fun on stage, You're
learning how to speak, you're learning how to talk. But
I quickly realized how good it was for me. I
tell people this all the time I started, and I
didn't win for four years. I wasn't competing in one
or two pageants yr. I was competing in about ten
fifteen twenty pageants maybe a year in that pageant season.
(02:06):
Because you had to win a local to even compete
at state. There was no like coming at large. And
so four years of not winning and so I think,
you know, now people can see the successes. But I
like when you know, people like you give me a
platform to speak about my journey, so they can see
that this isn't something that happens overnight. It's something that
you really have to work toward. If you're serious about it,
(02:29):
and it's something that you can't accomplish if you just
continue to persevere. So that's just a little bit about it.
I'm sure we'll get more into it, but been doing
for a long time. I'm twenty eight now, so it's
about thirteen to fifteen years of pageantry. But you know,
anything worth having is worth working for, and I say
that all the time.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, definitely, it's it's like a lot of time, a
lot of energy. There's a lot of bloods, button tears
that people don't see, and working so hard, dedicating your
life to pretty much this title, and meeting incredible people
along the way. Rachel, maybe you could tell me a
(03:06):
little bit about, like, with the time and dedication put
into pageantry, there's only one title holder at the end
of the day, and what has been your experience and
what is your advice for the women who compete for
the title and don't ultimately win.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
I would say that for the women who compete that
don't win, it's obviously a really painful experience. I think
to pretend that it's not is unfair. I've competed in
patentry myself for many years. I competed for about ten years,
so I've experienced it. I've experienced it, and it is
a feeling of rejection, and I think that that is
something that gets kind of ignored in a lot of systems.
(03:46):
They kind of just pretend like that that doesn't happen,
and they focus all the attention on the winner. But
I think being just really honest about what it is
allows women to learn emotional regulation skills and learn how
to deal with projection. It's not like the woman is
being rejected for who she is. It just wasn't her
moment or that time that night. So I think it's
really important for women who compete to remember that one
(04:09):
rejection is not going to dictate the rest of your life.
And usually it is redirection. I think it's it's usually
all meant to be in some way, and it's leading
you towards either learning more skills or bettering yourself so
that if it is what you want to do, you
come back more prepared. I mean, I believe it's an
advantage in a way when you're rejected, because now you
have more learning experience that you can use to apply
(04:29):
for the next time that you compete.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
So when I competed for Miss California, USA, I started
as a teen like Cora, and I through the years
just worked on my public speaking skills and pushing myself
outside my comfort zone. And eventually I reached the age
of twenty seven and it was my last year to
compete for the title because this is before they put
(04:53):
the age cap on the USA system. And when I
didn't win, I I went through this whole identity crisis
and I kind of lost myself a little. But I
think now with the age cap lifted, I've been getting
asked a lot, will you compete again? And I think
(05:16):
right now the answer would be not yet. Although although
judging this weekend has been so like it was really
like a breath of fresh air in my pageant experience
and there was like some healing that happened for me
revisiting this from a new perspective. And Rachel, the way
(05:37):
that you planned this pageant and organized it and the
fact that it was in Miami, of all places, is
just so phenomenal. And I think like all of the
girls got the opportunity to dress up and really express
themselves through their fashion, and we did a karaoke competition.
You know, all these little things that I actually haven't
(05:59):
seen in the USA system necessarily, So I just wanted
to commend you for a job well done. And this
was your first pageant that you directed yourself. So how
did you get into stepping into the role of being
a pageant director?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
That's a great question.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
I mean, I would say the opportunity itself kind of
fell in my lap from going to compete internationally. I
was Miss Grand Ireland, so I went to Vietnam, I
met the whole international team. I was able to build
relationships while I was over there. But in terms of,
you know, wanting to revisit in a fresh perspective, I
think also just as a former title holder, we all
have this fun idea of in our head as to
(06:38):
what we think pageants will be or what we would
like them to be. And I think I've experienced a
lot of disappointment actually where I would go to a
pageant and leave thinking that wasn't quite the experience that.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
I thought it would be.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
It looked a lot more glamorous on the internet, and
it's true, even the perfect pageant is probably more glamorous
on the Internet than it is reality because it's a
tough competition. But my biggest vision is just making it
as fun as possible for the girls, because if you
don't win again, there's only one who does, so it's
not great odds for the rest of them. And so
I think the biggest thing is just wanting it to
(07:10):
be as glamorous and it's fun and it's cool and
as many cool opportunities you can get out of it,
so that every titleholder.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Has another opportunity.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
I know another girl who did not place this year
has already been booked to walk in York Fashion Week,
So a lot of cool opportunities.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
That is so awesome. Cora, did you know that you
were going to take home the crown? Did you have
that like internal feeling inside of you going into this pageant?
What was your mindset going in, and like, did you
feel pretty confident that you're going to take home the crown?
Speaker 3 (07:41):
I felt confident that I could do the job, but
I didn't necessarily think I was going to take home
the crown as soon as I entered the pageant. You
know when you said you know, not yet to your
pageant journey, I really resonated with that. For me, I
was like never again. After our commuter in USA, I
was like never again. And so I that journey was
(08:02):
kind kind of different for me. So coming back in
you're like, you're a little jaded, you're a little skeptical.
And so for me, no, I didn't. I and I
was putting myself out there, you know, and putting yourself
out there can be a scary thing, especially when you've
already accomplished so much success, like in pageantry, and so
putting yourself out there again to possibly ruin that or
(08:24):
tarnish that, that was like a big thing for me.
And I really didn't want to do that, and so
I knew that if I was gonna do it, I
had to give my all. I had to leave everything
on the stage, because you know, the worst thing is, oh,
she did so bad, and how did she even get
to USA if she if she did that bad? And
so I think if there was pressure there, but I
knew that I had a good team around me. These
(08:45):
people really encourage me. They're like, you need to get
over this, you need to put yourself first. You need
to just show the world what you have, remember who
you are. And I remember after swim swim prelims, I
wasn't feeling as confident in my preliminary performance just because
I really am a perfectionist when it comes to those
type of things because I know that you have to
be undeniable in this industry because it's so subjective. And
(09:07):
I called on my mentors and she was like, you
need to remember who you are, remember who you are,
and I from that moment I was, Okay, we're here.
I just had to trust myself. You know, I'm very competitive,
but I will say the answer to that question is no.
I knew that I could do the job. But again,
pageantry is very subjective. You know, I could do my
very best. I could say in my head, I have
(09:28):
the best performance, but someone else may not have like
the color I had on or something. So pageants they're difficult.
There aren't a set amount of points that you can
get for taking a certain step, like it's based on
the judge's opinion, and you just have to be the
most likable, the most brandable, and put on a stellar performance.
And that's just really what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
What's something that you've learned about yourself through pageants?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Quora?
Speaker 3 (09:53):
So many things. One thing that I've learned and the
reason why I wanted to continue to do this is
because it has sharpened me and given me the skill
set necessary to continue life in a way that I
know that I'm going to succeed. I think a lot
of us have a fear of failure, and pageantry has
really taught me that I can do anything that I
set my mind to. There is nothing to be afraid of.
(10:15):
And even going into the international level, I have incredible competition,
high caliber competition at this level, but I don't have
any doubts that I can't compete on that level. And
pagentry has given me that, because when you are competing
against so many incredible women, you have to really search
and find those things that make you unique, because it's
so easy to look at everyone else next to you
and like, Okay, we're all women, we're all beautiful. But
(10:35):
then pageantry really forces you to search and find those
unique things about yourself and hone in on those and
grab on those. And I think that's why when I'm
in the interview room or I'm on stage, I know
the things that make me unique. I know my background.
My experience is no one has ever lived my life
through my shoes or my len so that in itself
is a unique experience. And I think I carry that
(10:58):
with me everywhere, and pageantry, I said, has forced me
to find those things because everyone can be beautiful and
have a great body, but no one has your life experience.
No one sees life through your perspective, and that alone
is something that gives you an advantage.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah. I just have to say, in your interview, you
really blew us all away. And just from like your style.
You wore this beautiful like beau collared shirt dress outfit,
very feminine, and the way that you spoke about your character,
(11:33):
we could pick up on that feminine energy and it
was something that was so peeling and refreshing. What are
some of those unique things about yourself that really sets
you apart from the other contestants?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
You know, I always tell people this, Like the first
thing that I say is that me, I'm a woman
of faith, and that's something that I rooted and grounded in.
And you know, being in pedantry, it is an industry
of comparison, and so I think that drove me closer
to God. Knowing that I was telling Rachel this a
couple of days ago, maybe yesterday, Like, if God's thoughts
towards me are as many as the sand, then I
(12:09):
should be feeling good about myself. The creative of the
universe fill is that way about me, and so that's one.
But also, like you said earlier, no one has a
certain life experiences that I have. No one lives life
through my perspective, and so when you value your perspective,
then you can trust yourself in what you have to say.
And I think that really shines forth when I'm an
interview and I want people to know that when we
(12:30):
say you're unique, we're not saying that as a cliche,
but you have to believe it in order for people
to feel it. If you're going around and saying you're
unique and you don't really believe it, then it's not
going to translate well. But you have to know that
there is not one person on the planet that is
made like you, that looks like you, that acts like you.
There are so many things about us that make us unique.
Your eye color, your hair color, your face shape, the
(12:52):
way you walk, the way you talk, so many different things,
and you just have to find those small things because
people are beautiful. People have all these same characteristics or attributes,
but there is no one else in the world like you.
Like I think we really take for granted that we
all have different fingerprints, right, Like, how is that possible?
There are millions, billions of people in the world, but
(13:12):
every single one of us have has a different fingerprint,
and I think that is also a reflection of our
ability to be unique. But sometimes it's hard to see that.
But we just really have to remain present and in
that moment. And like I was saying earlier, I think
when you're in pageantry and you're around so many beautiful people,
if you want to stand out and you have to
go search for those treasures about yourself, and that does
(13:35):
take some self awareness, probably some therapy. You know, all
of us really advocate for therapy, and so I would
really encourage people to do that and hold on to
your ability to be unique and hold on to your
life perspectives that no one else has ever seen or
will see.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Yeah, I think a common misconception and something that I
see in the comments section a lot is people criticizing
me for being a pageant girl and saying that I
like competing against other women. And I think a big
misconception with pageantry is actually, if you're comparing yourself to
the girl next to you, you're probably not going to
do very well. It's all about this mental game of
(14:13):
comparing yourself to the person that you were yesterday or
the year before, and just like honing in on that
progress because otherwise you just can't compare yourself to other people.
Because everyone's very unique and we have different things to offer,
and we're all worthy in our own way. You just
have to like really own that and know that.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Yeah, even when it comes to our wardrobe, everyone's body
shape is unique. And so if you're looking at someone
else's wardrobe saying, oh, I should have worn that, but
that might might not look good on you, or you're
looking at her makeup saying I should have done this
to my makeup, but you don't have the same face shape.
And I think those are the small things that we
have to talk about in pageantry, where it's like, like
you said, if you're looking to the person that's next
to you or beside you, you're probably not going to
(14:55):
do that well because you're not focusing and capitalizing and
leveraging those things about yourself that make you unique your
own style. And I like how you brought up, like, oh,
the feminine energy kind of just radiates an interview because
I think Grand really appreciates that. You know, they recognize
that we can be feminine, we can be hot, we
can be grand, we can be sexy and intelligent all
(15:16):
in the same package. And that's something that I really
appreciate about this organization.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Rachel, I mean, you are a unique title holder in
your own right. So Rachel Slawson was Miss Utah twenty twenty.
So when Rachel competed for Miss USA, she was very
loud and proud with her sexuality and she is the
(15:43):
first openly bisexual contestant that competed at Miss USA. What
did that feel like to have that title and where
did you find the courage to be so open about
your sexuality.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
It's funny you asked that because I was actually thinking
about that today. I think as women, no matter who
you are, whether you're a titleholder, a podcast host, a
TV star, people will always have something to say about
you just for being a woman. People will always have
something critical to say. And I've found that the only
way that I can deal with that, especially as someone
who openly discusses that I have challenges with my mental health.
(16:21):
They're a lot better than they were two years ago,
four years ago. They get better every year, but it's
still something that I have to actively work on. And
so the way that I deal with people's opinions and
the bravery that I've had to find is finding a
purpose it's greater than myself. So recognizing that a lot
of women struggle with their mental health and a lot
of women struggle with questions about their sexuality, and knowing
(16:44):
that there's not just me going through these things and
having a higher purpose, that's how I deal with it.
It's a lot easier to get up every day and
serve when you recognize that you're not just doing it
for yourself, You're doing it for other people. And there
will still be people to have something to say about you,
but it's really not about them, And in fact, the
ones who are criticizing it sometimes it is about them.
Sometimes they're criticizing you because they're in the same position
(17:05):
and they don't have that kindness and that acceptance.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
So I would just say that.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Having a higher purpose makes it really easy to be brave,
and it's about really having just like a loving heart
for those that live outside of your own experience.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Definitely something that I really appreciated about the Miss grand
Usa pagn't is in your direction with it was the
(17:38):
fact that there was therapists and counselors on call at
all times. You were kind of laughing like, Yeah, all
of my friends are licensed counselors basically so, and all
of the final questions and the speech that the women
had to give on stage were based around mental health,
(18:00):
how they're advocating for mental health, and how they would
continue to advocate given the title. So obviously, as a
mental health advocate, I really appreciate that, and I was
listening to the women's answers like with a very critical ear,
like did they answer the question? Are they authentic with it?
(18:21):
But for you, Rachel, why was it so important to
implement mental health in this year's pageant?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
It's funny you say that. I do joke that I'm
surrounded by mental health professionals and that's how I made
it as far as I have.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
But in all seriousness, mental health advocacy was always my
platform and pageantry. Suicide prevention was always a big cause
as to why I competed, and I am a certified
crisis counselor, which means I've been a part of over
one hundred active suicide rescues, So I think, you know,
I don't necessarily think we'll have this exact same focus
on mental health as you know the entire show every year,
(18:55):
but it is something I definitely want to highlight through
this organization because I do believe people are drawn to
pageantry because they are seeking confidence, and sometimes that's from
a place of external validation. Sometimes they do know who
they are and they just want to keep practicing and
really show that confidence. But whatever stage a woman is in,
whether she has absolutely no self esteem and she's signing
up for a pageant, or she knows she came to win,
(19:16):
I want her to feel supported and welcome. You know,
that's how I grew. I wasn't always a self loving,
healthy individual. I've struggled, like I said, with my mental health,
my confidence. I tried to end my life after a
pageant when I was nineteen years old. So I have
so much empathy and compassion. I would never say, oh,
don't come to pageants. You know, if you struggle with
your mental health, I think you should say no. Actually,
(19:38):
let's provide more resources because everyone struggles with their mental
health sometimes, So we want to make sure that these
women have the support that they need and the acceptance.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
That they need in order to grow.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
You might not win your first year if you're really
struggling with your confidence, but you might actually walk away
with something that matters, which is real self worth and confidence.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, really honing in on that because I think a
lot of women do feel drawn to compete in a
pageant to work on their self confidence. That's why I
was drawn to it. And I don't have like the
best self esteem, but I feel like pageants definitely helped
me in a lot of ways be able to find
that within myself. But it's also risky because you kind
(20:20):
of are seeking this external validation in a way, and
I think through the journey, it's it's realizing that there
needs to be less emphasis on other people accepting you
and more of like this internal validation and shining your
light from within. So that has been a whole journey
that I've experienced through my pageant life.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
I think that's actually something that Corus said really well,
you know, Coora, you mentioned becoming undeniable, and I think,
like you said, that's not about what other people have
to think about you. That's walking into a room and
you aren't denying yourself so other people can see that.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, Rachel, I'm curious to know you said that you
learned some things being on the other side. What have
you taken away from this?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Oh gosh, besides it being like so fun and a
lot less stressful. Honestly, I'm like, I think I like
judging more than I like competing, but I think just
like seeing everybody interviews. For me, competing were always the
most difficult portion of the competition, and you know, I
(21:27):
get my own head sometimes, and so when I was
participating asking questions to the contestants in the judge's room,
that was actually one of my favorite parts of the pageant.
And getting to form a question that I felt like
would suit the contestant best and like bring out an
(21:49):
answer for all of us to learn something about the
contestant was very rewarding. I think I have a newfound
love and appreciation for the interview portion of the pageant competition,
And if I did go back to compete again, I
think I would kind of walk into that interview room
(22:10):
with a newfound confidence. Given that experience and also having
this podcast too, I've just been obviously practicing speaking a
lot more and feeling more comfortable with the message that
I have to share with other people. But besides that,
I think you guys just exuded this personality and confidence
(22:33):
and just so much fun. And I also appreciated, you know,
the judges and the contestants remained separate, but we went
to many events together and so it was cool seeing
you guys outside of like your pageant typical situation that
you would normally see in like something like the USA system.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Yeah, we're definitely still working. I would see the judges
like even in the lobby, we will all be like
straighten up for a second.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
That.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
But I used to tell people swim where used to
be my favorite portion of competition, and now it has
become interview. I still love swim because I just I
just love some so sassy and fears. But I do
love interview too because you really get an opportunity to
connect on a personal level. And I love that Rachel
gave us seven minutes to do the interview rather than
like three or four. I'm used to a ten minute
(23:25):
interview anyway, So the seven minutes it was perfect. It
was really good. I think it really captured everything that
we needed to kind of discuss.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Yeah, and for you you've done a lot of work
with children. What was the foundation that you worked closely
with and why is that so near and dear to
your heart?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
And as I started off doing like bullying campaigns like
when I was like a teenager, but then I started
my own back in twenty twenty. It was called Beautifully Purpose.
So when I was growing up, I went to like
an all girls organization called Girls Inc. And young girls
have always had my heart because myself, I'm a young girl.
And also you know, I know we've talked about this
a lot, but it really is a foundational part of
(24:05):
why I love serving young girls, and now it has
extended to young boys as well. But being a little
girl and only child and losing her father, I think
that really shaped me. And you guys asked me about that.
As soon as I sat down, you are like, okay,
how to right into the deep with me?
Speaker 1 (24:20):
That was me. I'm so sorry I didn't even let
you have the chance to introduce you yourself. That I
read your bio and I was like, oh my gosh,
I want to ask her this and it was like
such a deep question, like right off the bat, I'm like,
oh my gosh, that's kind of embarrassing, So I apologize
for that, but yeah, I was just I wanted to
know like how, I mean, how losing your father had
(24:43):
shaped you into the woman that you've become. That's something
that I can't even fathom.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Yeah, and I really appreciate you asking that off the top,
because I really do think it's set the tone for
the interview, like you know, we're going to get into it,
and we're going to go ahead and get into some substance.
So I really did appreciate that we kind of lighted
up towards the end. But I started the organization because
I had this platform, you know, being a state title holder,
and I wanted to use it. And I was already
(25:08):
doing community work, but I wanted to put my name
on it. And so I would talk to young girls
and all girl organizations and I would give them Coco's
confidence tips, because yeah, we can talk to them about
these things, but I wanted to give them like practical
tips on how to remain confident because everyone is not
going to compete in a pageant, everyone isn't going to
do organized sports, and so to spend that time with them,
(25:30):
you know, like Rachel was saying, people are a drawn
a pageantry because you know, we are beautiful women, and
how are we going to use that. My mom always
told me that people are drawing you because you're beautiful,
but what are you going to leave them with? And
I wanted my legacy to be, yes, you're drawing because
I'm beautiful, but I left you with something. I seen you,
I heard you, and now you feel seen and heard.
(25:51):
Some people don't feel seen and heard in the world.
And so that's something that I wanted to do. Still
do that and now it extends to me like reading
a children. I love to read. I'm an abbot reader.
Was an editor in chief for two years and so
I kind of turned, you know, reading and writing into
a career. But I wanted to reimagine reading as well.
You know a lot of people think reading is boring,
but it's really not. Guys really not have to find
(26:12):
something that you're interested in. But I was working with
Cobb County Library because they have this organization that gives
three books to children because you have to have a
library car, some of these things cost money and everyone
doesn't have those resources. So they have a book mobile
that comes around in Cobb County and ale Go volunteer
and read to the kids. Sometimes I'll wear a crown
and sash and they will be so excited to read.
(26:34):
But I think one thing that I really love is
I love children because these are their molding years. These
are the years that you know, they may not remember
specifically what happened, but they're going to remember those skills
and assets that you gave them, and that's going to
shape them moving forward. And so I had those resources
when I was younger. And what is our life about
(26:55):
if we're not pouring into the next generation. I know
people say that all the time, but it's really true.
When you're serving other people, it really does make you
feel better. And especially children, you know, they're living in
a time where social media is prevalent, misinformation is prevalent,
everything is just literally at their disposal at this young age,
and so I think it's very important to instill these
(27:16):
values in them, such as reading, writing, literacy, not just
reading words on a page, but also knowing how to
interpret the words that you're reading. And that's why children
have always been very important to me, and that's something
that I know I will continue to do long after
my pageant career is done.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I love that and your Hoko what did you call it?
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Hok's confidence?
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Ah? I love that. Can you give us three?
Speaker 3 (27:40):
One was like, don't fall into perfectionism, Okay, you know
who you are. And the one that we really wanted
to I had a hashtag was called hashtag one oay
K and it was hashtag one of a kind basically
that's what The last one was like, No, you are
one of a kind and you know people like you
said earlier, what is this called cofidence about? Like how
do you gain it? It's really just knowing there's not
(28:03):
one person like me on this earth. And people can
take that as whatever they want to take it as,
like overconfidence. But I think people have to understand that,
you know, walk in your power, walk in knowing who
you are, walk in your light, because that these are
things that make people drawn to you even more than
just your beautiful face. We know so many beautiful people
that just don't have a good energy, you know, that
(28:24):
are rude or mean to people, are not kind. But
there's just so many things that you know, I could say,
and I'm grateful to have this platform to continue to
push that. And also I want to say to walk
into the interview panel with all these beautiful women. I'm
like I was, I was lucky, nervous. We had a
(28:46):
nice girl's chat.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
So for both of you, what is the biggest misconception
that people have about pageants?
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Where do we start, alphabetically should be? I would say
that it's superficial, that it's vain, that's damaging to women's
self esteem. That's probably the biggest misconception. I mean, I
don't think there's anything superficial or vain about beauty, simply
because every woman wants to feel beautiful and their definition
of that is going to look completely different. But I
(29:26):
think beauty is something that everyone is drawn to. Again,
beauty is subjective, so there's many kinds of beauty. But
I don't think there's anything wrong with someone wanting to
know how what colors look good on them, or how
to do their makeup or their hair. I don't think
that's superficial. I think, if anything, that actually does build
confidence because you get to see yourself reflective back in
the mirrors who you want to be and you don't.
(29:47):
You definitely don't need makeup to be beautiful. Like I said,
it's subjective, But what women who are drawn to pageantsr
you are drawn to that specific aesthetic, which I am myself.
I love glamour, I love fashion, and it's really fun
to have that place to dress up.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
And then also in terms of it being damaging to well.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Being, I think it can be if the resources and
support isn't there. You know, if a contestant is coming
in all by herself and has no support from her family,
her friends, her team, her coaches, experience is a huge
rejection and then doesn't know how to deal with those emotions,
that could totally be damaging, just like any any traumatic
situation can happen in any industry without the right support.
(30:23):
So I think the most important thing, that's why I say,
is like call it what it is. Acknowledge that it
hurts when you don't win. Acknowledge that those feelings are painful.
Acknowledge that you might need some support. Tell your family like, Hey,
I'm going to do something that's really big and scary.
I'm putting myself out there and I might not get it.
Can we have a plan in place in case I
don't win? Like I want a plan to win, but
can we have something to do after in case I'm
(30:44):
really upset? For a week or in my case, a
few months, you know, because everybody handles emotions differently, and
everyone regulates their emotions differently, And I think that's what
pageants are cool, because it gives you a.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Place to practice.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
It's kind of, in some way, a controlled environment where
you're opting in knowing that you're going to experience criticism.
You know you're going to experience judgment, and you know
you're going to experience some form of rejection. Even as
a winner, you're probably experiencing micro rejections along the way
or from people that are watching online afterwards. So you're
kind of opting in to experience those feelings, which some
people say is a little crazy.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
I think they're maybe not completely wrong.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Pageant girls, I might feel a little bit. I'm just kidding,
but I.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Think more than anything, you are opting into a controlled
environment to practice regulating your emotions and to practice these
difficult experiences, and with the right support there, I actually
think it can be really helpful and positive.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, let's dive in a little bit deeper on that
rejection aspect. How do you handle rejection and how do
you come out of that darkness?
Speaker 3 (31:43):
I would say one day at a time. That's how
I feel like I've gotten over it in the past,
knowing that it will pass, and also allowing myself to
fully feel I know. I would tell people this all
the time, like when I left you, I say, I
kind of just you know, suppressed it. But then after that,
when I would deal with situations that were possibly rejection,
(32:05):
I would allow myself to feel those feelings completely and
not make myself feel bad about it or try to
move on too quickly, Like if I felt bad, if
I felt hurt, if I felt disappointed, I would sit
with that and go deeper. Why do you feel disappointed
about this? What really is it? Why do you feel rejected?
What meaning are you giving this? Are you feeling not
good enough? Are you feeling like this person doesn't like you?
(32:26):
Are you feeling like you know you're a failure? Trying
to get to the root of it, and then asking
myself is that absolutely true? Like are you a failure? No?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
You know?
Speaker 3 (32:34):
And I think that's you know, the therapy side. You know,
I'm getting into it, but I like myself to truly
feel it, continuing to ask questions when I'm feeling that,
and then giving myself.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
Grace I would add education really helps a lot, like
educating myself about my own unique mental health and my
brain and my brain chemistry, and understanding that different people's
brains are going to respond to rejection differently, and different
people's brains are going to respond to things differently. I'm
nerve divergent. I've had a lot of experiences with different
(33:04):
diagnoses through my mental health. It's changed as I've healed.
I don't think it's necessarily a stagnant thing as we
once thought it was maybe five ten years ago. I
do think the brain can heal from mental health challenges.
But I am definitely neurodivergent, which means I process information
differently than other people do, and I process my emotions
differently than other two And also that's part of being
an artist too.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I'm an artist as well.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
Neurodivergent people are often incredible artists because they experience sensory
information really differently and they express it differently. So I
think the more you can educate yourself about your brain,
and the more you can educate yourself about yourself about
your own experience, it's a lot easier to communicate to
other people so they can understand you better, and it
also makes it easier to take things less personally, so
(33:46):
when people are criticizing you, you can actually think to yourself, Oh,
this person's just not educated as to what's happening here.
They just don't have the education needed and that's why
they're being critical because they just don't know. And there's
also an innocence in that, so you can kind of
see innocence and people when they criticize you, instead of
thinking that they're just these mean, hateful people, they just
genuinely don't know that there's actually like research and science
(34:10):
and factual information as to why everyone's different and experiences
things differently.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
That's so beautifully put. I really can relate to that
because I do get criticized quite a bit with the
people that watch vander Pump Rules and people trying to
box me in and label me as a specific thing.
But as a human being, we're just so much more
(34:37):
complicated then that.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
What is that like for you to have such a
huge platform and you know, people coming at you negatively,
Like I know, we just talked about dealing with that,
but realistically a person can only, you know, take so much,
So how do you find that balance of having a
reset all the time because it never stops coming.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, So it's gotten so noisy that it's just like
white noise at this point. But it's very interesting because
when I first started competing in pageants trying to get
out of my comfort zone and overcome that fear of
being judged, I would take what people would say about
(35:18):
me with heavy weight, and you know, that would influence
how I viewed myself. And that has like some major
like codependency trauma, like dealing with like how I relate
to other people that I've began to heal over the years.
So now at this point, it's like all of that noise.
(35:41):
It's very easy to get wrapped up in it, and
it's very easy to like want to defend yourself and
all that stuff. And I went through my phases of
doing that this past six months, but at a certain
point it's like, Okay, I just can't do this for
my mental well being. It's so draining, it's so toxic,
(36:04):
it's exhausting, and I kind of just had to like
let go of people's perception of me and really focus
in on the people who are actually in my life
and the new friendships that I get to make in
real life and just know that, like, Okay, the feedback
that I'm getting from those people that know me on
(36:27):
a personal level is nothing like the feedback that I'm
getting online, So really prioritizing that reality as opposed to
this virtual reality.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
I love that you shared that I'm one of your
new friends.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
I know, yeah, both of you guys and the other
dudges that were competing that weekend. I really got to
know on a personal level, and I feel like we
all have our own strengths and in a way we
kind of like play well with each other. Rachel, Like,
what was your selection process for choosing the judges.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
I would say the biggest thing is just having a
diverse group of women so that there's many different perspectives
so that the winner is chosen as fairly as possible.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
It's pageantry, it's subjective.
Speaker 4 (37:14):
It will never be like basketball where you know exactly
how many balls went in the hoop. It's just different.
But if you have more diverse group, it allows for
a choice to be made that's a little bit more objective.
And then also I would say a lot of the
women I either know personally or have just like in
your case, I didn't know you super personally. We've followed
each other for a long time, but I've just watched
(37:36):
what you've gone through, and I think, to me, that
speaks to the empathy that gets developed in those sort
of situations. And that's really what the type of women
that I like to be surrounded by is women who
have true empathy for each other. And so sometimes when
you've gone through more painful or difficult life experiences, you're
just more likely to have that awareness and that emotional intelligence.
(37:56):
And so those are the kind of qualities that I
look for in both friends and in judges, because these
women are going to go through so many different things
at internationals, you know, throughout the year, and it takes
someone who has empathy for their experience too, because you know,
I don't expect a title holder to be perfect.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
That's not my expectation. I'm not perfect.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
That would be such a hypocritical expectation, and for any
of the judges to think that a title holder should
be perfect would also be hypocritical. So I like people
who embrace their imperfections. It just makes it, I think,
a healthier environment overall. And then also just you know,
have experience in fashion and beauty and know the industry
(38:37):
because they're not much more likely to know what will
succeed and international competition so.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Well said, And I feel like with like anything in
the entertainment industry as well. Like when I was judging
you guys competing, I was like, oh, man, like, I
feel like you guys could go so far in whatever
you put your mind to in the entertainment industry, whether
that's modeling or acting or whatever it may be.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
You guys did have really great chemistry. I know you
said that y'all played well together, but the judges like,
you guys looked like you were having the best time,
and it just seems like you guys were on one accord.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Yeah, if you had a daughter one day, would you
put them in pageants where you'll go first first?
Speaker 4 (39:23):
So honestly, I don't. I don't think I would put
them in child pageants by any means. As a teenager,
I would be skeptical but open as long as she
had again, like a really great system and a really
great support system. As an adult, almost the same answer, yes,
(39:46):
one hundred percent. But like I think the important thing
I would send my daughter and is just you know,
make sure that you have a good team, and that's
why I'm so focused on building a great team through
our organization so that it is a safe place for
women to come through. I personally don't believe in child
pageants at all. You know, that's just my personal belief.
I don't really agree with that, but I respect and
(40:07):
support if that's healthy for other people.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
And I just don't know it. It could be something
that I know.
Speaker 4 (40:12):
Nothing about, and maybe it is that, but I probably
would only let my teenager do it if she already
had a therapist that she was working with, even if
she didn't struggle with her mental health, just so that
she again again had real support to start practicing dealing
with those emotions. I don't think it's a bad thing
for teenagers to experience rejection, so long as they have
again the right support system to help them start to
(40:32):
learn those emotional safety skills at a young age.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
For you, Cora, it will be up to them completely,
you know, just like parents that play basketball or do
certain things are like, I'm not going to force my
child to do it, but if they want to do it,
then they can do it. I'm going to try to
prepare her as best as possible. I'm pretty sure she
would probably want to be like her mother because her
mother's so grand, But you know, it would completely be
(40:59):
up to her if I've seen it going down a
dark path, which I think with any sport, like if
you played a competitive sport, it can get really competitive
easy because like you said, once you get to that
high level, it's only a certain amount of people that
can make it to a high level. But you know,
pageantry has just done so much for me, and I
think it would be negligent for me to deny Hear
(41:21):
that opportunity, So I'm going to leave that up to her.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
I think the.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
Biggest thing is just not pressuring or forcing women to
do it, because you did are making them feel like
they have to then follow in your footsteps. That's the
biggest thing, is just like letting it be her own choice.
I love that you said that. What about you, Rachel.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
I've been asked this by my producers, and I had
a very similar answer, like, if my daughter asked to
be in a pageant, then I would support her with that.
But like you, Rachel, like I'm not going to put
my daughter in a toddler some Tiara's pageant.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Will make fun of me when I say I'm not
giving my child social media until they turn fifteen. Internet
is so different Nowaday, It's like the Internet is insane,
like they have access to everything. I just don't think it.
I don't unless it should have access to that much
at that age.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
I love that you say fifteen, Ora.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
If I make this possible, I wouldn't give social media
to my child till they're like twenty five.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
I only say fifteen because I don't want to be canfuled.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
I was gonna say that's so legal, I could never die,
but never actually withhold that for my child.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Just to be clear, we have no phone. I'm just
gonna put a track. You're twenty six.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Here you go.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Here's your cel phone for the first time. Here's their
cell phone. It still has restrictions on it.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
But okay, last question, what message do you hope people
take away who are listening right now from your stories?
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Definitely perseverance. I think my life has been. If I
could send enough in one word, it will be perseverance.
You know, I have a book here down here, so
many you have like a little library. It says talent
is never enough, and sometimes you can be the most talented,
but if you don't have the grit and the perseverance
to go further than anyone else, then you're just gonna
(43:06):
be a person that's talented. But the person that lasts
the longest, then I think that's a person that's going
to ultimately succeed because they didn't give up. I didn't
only get back into pageantry because I wanted to see
myself succeed, but I knew that this is an incredible
comeback for me. My team said, if you can pull
this off, this would be an incredible combat and people
can see that. And I was again when I gave
(43:27):
you my speech, that was my real life. I know
that our testimony is my testimony, Rachel, yours, all of ours.
These are the things that keep people going, you know,
and I think we have to share them because people
really they gain their strength from knowing that this is possible,
it can be done. And so that's what I want
to leave with is perseverance. Don't give up in the
(43:50):
face of that first day. I know everyone wants things
handed to them the easy way, but life is just
not that way. Sometimes it is, but a lot of
times it's not. So Perseverance that's gonna be the word.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
M m. Yeah. And then for you, Rachel, what's a
message that you hope people listening will take away from
our conversation?
Speaker 4 (44:08):
I would say self acceptance. That you will get so
far in life if you just really start to accept
yourself for your strengths, your weaknesses, and even your mistakes.
I've made plenty of mistakes, even in pageantry, you know,
and I own those. I own every mistake and every
decision I've made. I've taken accountability for them all. I've
learned from them all, and honestly, I love my mistakes.
(44:30):
I love my weaknesses just as much as I love
my strengths.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
And you know, my.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
Personality and the beauty and all the great things that
I have. I really do actually view my weaknesses as
strengths now, even though sometimes they still limit me. Sometimes
I deal with limitations. I think my limitations are a
gift from God too. So I would say just really
learning to see yourself that way and be able to
have that kind of kindness and compassion for you yourself.
There's really nothing that will stop you if you are
(44:56):
undeniable to yourself.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Thank you guys so much for joining me today. On
Rachel Goes Rogue. It really has been like such a
joy having you both on and I'm happy this came
into fruition. I was telling Rachel and like, ooh, what
if I have you on as a guest and whoever
the new titleholder is, and she's like, yeah, let's do it,
Like yes, go. So everyone who is listening right now,
(45:22):
I really highly encourage you to follow both of these
lovely women on Instagram. You can follow Rachel at Salty Rachel,
and then please please follow Cora because the more Instagram
followers the better when she competes internationally, So go give
her a follow and show her your support. It is
(45:45):
at Cora Lynn g c O r A l y
n NG and the.
Speaker 4 (45:52):
Miss Grand USA account is also at official Miss Grand Usa.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Yes go follow the Miss Grand Usa account. Gorgeous women
and such empowering messages.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
Thank you so much for having us.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Thank you guys, Thank you Rachel, it was a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Rogue.
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive video content
at Rachel gos Rogue Podcast
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