January 29, 2024 • 24 mins
With the premiere of season 11 imminent, Rachel revisits a few lingering issues that have yet to be resolved.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
This is Rachel Go's rogue.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
This is Rachel Savannah Levis, and you're listening to Rachel
gos rogue. I'm here with my iHeart producers. They're asking
me the tough questions that you.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Guys really want to know. So let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
So let's get into one that is we hear repeatedly, Rachel,
you don't own it. You keep playing the victim. How
do you respond to that?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Look, there's two separate instances here. There is the fair
and the cheating and the line. There's another part where
I have been assaulted and harassed and threatened, and my
(00:55):
life had become completely unmanageable and so out of my
control that it has impacted me in a way that
I couldn't even fathom. And you can be two things
at once. You could be a perpetrator where you are
making these mistakes and taking accountability for those actions, and
(01:20):
you can also be a victim of manipulation, a victim
of assault, a victim of harassment, and both of those
things can happen to the same person at the same time.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I'm doing my very.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Best to take accountability. I've done everything that I possibly
could to.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Change my behavior. And learn from my mistakes.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
And I'm not trying to play the sympathy card so
that you guys could forgive me for my past indiscretions.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
That's not my motive.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I'm just putting this all out there so you guys
could be more educated on the the choices that I
made and the reasonings behind them, and how this has
impacted my life, and how I'm moving forward to be
a better person and hopefully make change.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Did you give Graham to a kill shelter? Can you
explain that.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I did not give Graham to kill shelter. I gave
Graham over.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
To a breed specific dog rescue.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
This was after I put him in training to work
on those issues, and I tried to get him rehomed
with a different family, a different foster family, but because
he had bitten so many different people that were caring
for him, the rescue needed more money to get a
new trainer, because this trainer didn't want to work with
(02:46):
him anymore. And so that's how this whole thing came about,
which we went into in chapter one.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Can you specify how many people he bit before and
took him there?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
In the trying to get rehomed, he attacked another dog.
He attacked the foster that he was staying with and
the foster's grandchild, and he attacked that foster. Clearly that
wasn't a good fit. He bit my mom, He bit
the trainer who was working with him.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
He bit the.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
New owner and the owner's husband or wife. I don't
know the specific people, but I know that two people
were bit and that's why he was returned. And you know, like,
I don't want this to sound like, oh, of course
he was gonna be hours away of being euthanized.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Well, first of all, that's not true.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
And second of all, I had no intention of putting
Graham down, Like, if anything, I wanted him to live.
I just didn't want him to be with James and
the Golden Doodle Rescue that Graham was under the care
of promised to keep it confidential, but they broke that
confidentiality when they reached out to vander Pump Dogs for
(04:07):
a donation, and they could have reached out to us
for a donation. We just weren't aware of the circumstances.
We weren't getting updates on him or anything. They even
said that it would take four months to get him
rehabilitated before rehoming him, and so we just didn't even
think that they were going to rehome him so quickly.
(04:27):
But they could have reached out to us for money
and we would have happily given them money to keep
working with Graham.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
So Sheena has said that she put you up in
her apartment for free and took care of you when
you didn't have anywhere to go. Can you shed some
light on that.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Shina did not put me up at her apartment for free.
I sub letted her apartment. She wanted to keep her
la apartment while she was living in her house in
San Diego with her family with broken her baby, and
this was also during the pandemic. So she had this
COVID rate on her apartment and she wanted to keep it,
(05:09):
but she didn't want to be paying such a large
sum of money each month when she wasn't even using it.
So she knew that I was in a place where
I was looking for somewhere to live, and she offered
for me to stay at her place at a discounted
rent rate, and so I paid my low rent every
(05:30):
month plus utilities, and.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
I also cat sat for her cat who had.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
It was a procedure where they had to pump her
cat with mercury, and because the baby couldn't be exposed
to the mercury, she needed someone to look after this cat.
So I it was like, I'll look after her, like
it's not a problem. So it worked out pretty well
for both of us. But of course now she's saying
(05:58):
that I lived there rent free, but it seems to
be that I live free and Sheena's mind.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Another cast member recently said in her podcast that you
were a fan of the show. Can you explain or
tell me that story?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, I don't want to offend any fans out there,
because you guys are incredible. I just didn't watch vander
pump roles. I didn't know what it was when I
met James, and then I started looking into it because
my friends told me and he told me about it,
and I did some research. I didn't watch all the episodes,
(06:35):
but I.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Wasn't a big reality TV viewer.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I started watching The Kardashians with James because James liked
the fact that Kanye was on, and you know, like it.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Was entertaining to tune in.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
But I didn't take it super seriously, and I know
our friend group likes to watch Love Island, and so
that was one of the shows that I started watching
post filming.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But I really.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Didn't quite know what the show was and it was
definitely naive to that. But no, I wasn't a fan.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
People think you masterminded this whole thing. What is your
response to that.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I definitely didn't mastermind this. I think I fell into
this situation and just didn't know how to handle it.
The thought has crossed my mind, like did Tom mastermind this?
He is known to self produce and all he has
is this show, and the success of the show equals
(07:43):
longevity in his career. He's over forty now and this
is his life. This is his main income. When we
did have conversations about like how is this going to
play out, he said like one of the pros is
that can be together next season. And so not to
(08:05):
say that he's the mastermind behind it. I think he
had his motivation behind it. That really escalated the situation.
Whereas if it wasn't a reality TV show and we
weren't all filming, I don't know if it would be
like this. I wonder you say he's forty, you say
(08:26):
all these things about Tom, did you actually see a
real future with him? Okay, So this is interesting because
when I worked in my therapy, I realized that when
you're choosing men, specifically unhealthy men, it is this younger
version of yourself choosing these guys to try to get
(08:47):
some wound healed, some like something to add up within you.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
And so when that registered in my mind, I was like, oh,
my God, and.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Her child chose Tom, this forty year old Like no,
I'm like, no, honey. When it all played out, a
lot of his character came forward, and Oh, the way
that he would talk to my parents, it just seemed
(09:21):
like a James two point zero situation. And I won't
allow that in my relationships anymore. I think family is
really important. And I know I said in the past that, like,
I don't want to be like my mom, but my
mom is an incredible woman who is very caring and
she wants the best for me, and she's a mama
bear in the way that like I am her baby,
(09:43):
and she she just hates everything that's happening right now.
That I had to learn my lessons on my own,
you know, being in that rebellious era of your life,
wanting to make your own mistakes. You know, I'm learning
the hard way.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
So we saw you have an anxiety breakdown on air
after the discussing the James.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Right, Oh yeah, what.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Do people not know or understand about that?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
They? No one understand that I was really hungover the
next day and I had anxiety. I think that conversation
that I had with the girls in the car was
more of a vulnerable type of conversation that you would
normally have with close, trusted friends, and I knew in
(10:46):
the back of my mind that these are not safe
people for you to bear it all too. And as
I was telling them the story of me planning to
break up with James, and how I had intentions of
like leaving the ring box on the counter when he
got back from Europe, and that all of my stuff
(11:07):
was going to be gone, and how I felt like
that would be the safest way for me to break.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Up with him.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I didn't go into the details of why we were
breaking up and why couldn't be with him anymore, and
only a few people know that story. And it was
also at a time where like I didn't want to
tell the world because I didn't want to ruin his life.
(11:38):
I think that's what really brought on that panic attack,
because I wanted to say these things. There was more
to that story, and I was holding myself back and
overthinking everything and knowing that this isn't a safe place.
That anxiety built up so much so that like I
couldn't breathe, I felt faint, I couldn't see, like and
(12:02):
I just started hyperventilating. It was a go pro car scene,
so they captured all of that. I was able to
take a break right after that because we pulled into
this restaurant stop, which just reinforced that these are not
safe people. You shouldn't be with these people right now,
(12:25):
because they were like eating on their own and I
didn't feel like a welcoming vibe, like it felt like,
oh God, she's still here, like kind of attitude. And
as we got to Tahoe and Charlie met up with us,
and we were supposed to.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Stay there for a few days with the group.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
You know, I was ready to put what was said
behind us, and the girls were talking about it, filling
Charlie in and kind of mocking me and you know,
poking at me, and one of the producers pulled me
aside and said like, hey, you're letting these girls pick
(13:07):
on you right now. I think you should really speak
up for yourself. And I'm like, I'm so tired right now,
like I can't, like I can't do it. And he
was like, well, you know, it's just a critical of
Laala to be saying that she doesn't trust you around
her man, because like she cheated with James. If anyone
can't trust anybody around their man, it would be her, right,
(13:30):
And I.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Was like, yeah, yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
And so you know, I was trying to take this
direction and say my piece to stand up for myself, and.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I think it.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I mean, looking back, I'm like, oh god, Like I
could barely even get the words out because I was
so brain dead from the night before, so physically exhausted
from not having enough sleep and just feeling this pressure
that I need to, you know, like I need to
live up to this.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Part of me.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That's not allowing people to bullame me anymore, not allowing
their opinion of me to influence my opinion of myself,
and like really standing up for myself. But it wasn't
done in a way that was empowering to me. It
was prompted by an outside force and not something I
(14:34):
would normally say in that instance.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Even though it was a good.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Point for sure, Charlie felt uncomfortable staying there. She said,
I really really want to go back to LA and
I was like, dude, I don't blame you.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I want to go back there too. This isn't fun.
And so we.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Stayed up talking all night about it, and she's like,
how do we get home? Like how do we get
out of here? And it's like we should just like
tell producer we're leaving. We're not staying, like this isn't
a good environment and we're going. And so the producers
were like, no, no, no, you said you were gonna stay.
And Charlie's like, I drove all the way out here
(15:13):
in my least car and I just got here and
I want to leave and that's how bad I want
to leave. And eventually Charlie was like, look, they're not
gonna listen to me, Like you have to convince them.
It's on you, like, Raquel, please do this for me.
And so they said, fine, you can leave, only if
you tell the girls that you're gonna go meet up
(15:35):
with the guys at Guy's Night and I'm like okay.
And then they said, and tell Laala that you think
that she's just jealous of you because you were the
one that's got with Oliver, not her, and that he
chose you. And I was like okay, but then you
promise we can leave, Yes, yes, then you can go.
(15:58):
So I was like fine, anything to leave. If I
was in that instance without production there, I would just
say like, hey, you know, thanks for inviting me here.
I feel really uncomfortable. I'm still feeling tired and hungover
from that night in Vegas, and Charlie and I just
don't feel comfortable.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
We want to go home, but thanks for inviting us.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
It was fun while it lasted and then left, but instead,
of course, it had to be something more dramatic than that.
So of course they also like after that whole ride
back from Tahoe to la They're like, you have to
film immediately.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
You can't.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
You can't go home and sleep, you have to go
to this guy's night. I'm like, okay, I'll go to
the guys' night, and like, what's the worst that can happen? So,
you know, Charlie and I walk in and who's the
brightest eyed Bushy tailed to see me.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Who is so thrilled that I just walked in other
than Tom Sandoval.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
And it's such be us too, because I heard somebody
say like, oh yeah, Tom definitely knew. Producers definitely told
Tom that Charlie and Riccall were about to walk in,
like he was ready for that scene. And I'm like, God,
damn it, he fooled me. Like I thought he was
(17:28):
actually genuinely happy to see me. I was like, oh
my god, this is what it feels like to actually
be appreciated and feel like you're welcomed in a room
and feel like somebody wants you there, like the stark contrast.
But then later on finding out that he was acting
and that wasn't fully genuineugh. But you know, we had
(17:53):
a conversation that I remember that night. People were asking
me like, oh, where are we going after this? And
I said, oh, I'm going wherever Tom Sandival goes, And
they had that on my mic pack, like they have
that audio. And I didn't say it as a way
to be like, oh, I'm going wherever Tom's sand of
all goes, like I'm gonna like intervene, I'm gonna put
(18:14):
myself in the middle of this no, like I was
feeling like this person actually cares about me, and he's
like down to hear my side of the story. And
we went to Saddle Ranch across the street with our friends.
When I talked to him and explained everything that happened
(18:35):
that trip, it was like the whole world melted away,
Like the only person that I could see was him
and nobody else. And he was listening to me, like
actually listening to me and understanding the situations that I
was in and that like producers were intervening and telling
(18:58):
me to say certain things that I normally wouldn't actually say,
and he understood that, like he had been there before.
You know, There's a video that surfaced that one of
our friends took because they were in the car ready
to leave Saddle Ranch and they were waiting for us,
and I guess they pulled up right in front of us,
and Tom and I were sitting on the curb right
(19:20):
outside of Saddle Ranch.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
We're just talking and talking and talking.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Away, and these friends took a video and they started
doing like a voice over of what we were saying
to each other, and it was actually pretty funny, and
I was like, oh, my gosh, you should send that
to Ariana. That's hilarious. And then someone somewhere was like,
oh no, no, maybe not because it seems cool. But
(19:46):
then it also seemed like, wait, is this cool or
is this not cool? Because it seems like you guys
are really like your faces are really close to each
other and you're having an in depth conversation.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Nothing happened that night.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
It was just like this stark contrast between being belittled,
being bullied, being harassed for having fun in Vegas on
a girl's trip, being exhausted, and like being welcomed into
this room where I felt wanted and then somebody actually
(20:26):
hearing me out and hearing what I'm saying and understanding
and relating and all of those things. Is like something
switched in me where my priority became this is something
that I need in my life, this is something that's lacking,
and this is something that is going to help me
survive through the rest of the season, and that took
(20:47):
first priority above everything else.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
When it was announced that you went into a treatment facility,
people said that your three month in patient treatment was
a PR stunt or that you really weren't in a
treatment center, but you were at the spa. Tell us
about that and how that made you feel well.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
First of all, my privacy was violated when somebody in
the trauma therapy center we were in the same group together.
I came in that week and she was leaving that week,
and I think she accidentally texted a friends saying, oh,
you wouldn't believe who was in the meadows with me,
Raquel from vander Pump Rules, And that got screenshotted and
(21:45):
sent out to the press, to the media somewhere, It
got somewhere, and then stories started circulating. Oh, no, she's
not at a mental health facility, she's not at a
treatment center.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
She's at a spa.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
And oh yeah, she's at this place called Miravelle in Arizona.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
So people were like, Rakhal's.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
At miraval with Tom's handival of course, like she's not
a trauma therapy center, she's not doing that.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
No, she's at a spa. And we know for a fact.
It's the update. And there were updates. Oh my god,
the updates.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Every single hour of every single day. It seemed like
there was a new update. But yeah, that update at
the time was people knew for a fact that I
was at a SPA and not a treatment facility, and
I think other cast members were saying that I was,
and NBC, Bravo, and Evolution, the production company that produces
(22:42):
Vander Pumper roles, all knew that I was actually at
the Meadows and there was paperwork to prove it. They
did nothing to prevent that rumor of ME being at
a SPA from flourishing. In fact, they actually perpetuated it
by bringing it on to Andy ks Watch What Happens Live.
Andy said, I was highly must have been highly medicated
(23:04):
at the reunion because I had no emotion, and so
I guess Andy Cohen was prompting his guests asking them,
do you think Rakala is actually at a mental health
facility or is she actually at a SPA and just
further perpetuate that rumor that I was at a SPA
(23:25):
even though they knew actually for a fact that I
was not.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
And all of.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
The commentators who said that they knew for a fact
that I was at a SPA have never come forward
and admitted that they were wrong. And I have not
received a single apology from any of them, and they're
continuing to post and talk about all things Vander pump,
(23:51):
including this podcast, even though I know some of them
don't even listen to the podcast. They're just listening to
the recaps of the people doing recaps of the podcast,
which is not all the information, Like there is some
juicy stuff in here, you know, like there's stuff that
I'm revealing that people higher up don't want you to know.
(24:16):
So do your due diligence and listen to the whole
podcast
This is Rachel Go's rogue.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
This is Rachel Savannah Levis, and you're listening to Rachel
gos rogue. I'm here with my iHeart producers. They're asking
me the tough questions that you.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Guys really want to know. So let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
So let's get into one that is we hear repeatedly, Rachel,
you don't own it. You keep playing the victim. How
do you respond to that?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Look, there's two separate instances here. There is the fair
and the cheating and the line. There's another part where
I have been assaulted and harassed and threatened, and my
(00:55):
life had become completely unmanageable and so out of my
control that it has impacted me in a way that
I couldn't even fathom. And you can be two things
at once. You could be a perpetrator where you are
making these mistakes and taking accountability for those actions, and
(01:20):
you can also be a victim of manipulation, a victim
of assault, a victim of harassment, and both of those
things can happen to the same person at the same time.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I'm doing my very.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Best to take accountability. I've done everything that I possibly
could to.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Change my behavior. And learn from my mistakes.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
And I'm not trying to play the sympathy card so
that you guys could forgive me for my past indiscretions.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
That's not my motive.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I'm just putting this all out there so you guys
could be more educated on the the choices that I
made and the reasonings behind them, and how this has
impacted my life, and how I'm moving forward to be
a better person and hopefully make change.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Did you give Graham to a kill shelter? Can you
explain that.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I did not give Graham to kill shelter. I gave
Graham over.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
To a breed specific dog rescue.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
This was after I put him in training to work
on those issues, and I tried to get him rehomed
with a different family, a different foster family, but because
he had bitten so many different people that were caring
for him, the rescue needed more money to get a
new trainer, because this trainer didn't want to work with
(02:46):
him anymore. And so that's how this whole thing came about,
which we went into in chapter one.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Can you specify how many people he bit before and
took him there?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
In the trying to get rehomed, he attacked another dog.
He attacked the foster that he was staying with and
the foster's grandchild, and he attacked that foster. Clearly that
wasn't a good fit. He bit my mom, He bit
the trainer who was working with him.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
He bit the.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
New owner and the owner's husband or wife. I don't
know the specific people, but I know that two people
were bit and that's why he was returned. And you know, like,
I don't want this to sound like, oh, of course
he was gonna be hours away of being euthanized.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Well, first of all, that's not true.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
And second of all, I had no intention of putting
Graham down, Like, if anything, I wanted him to live.
I just didn't want him to be with James and
the Golden Doodle Rescue that Graham was under the care
of promised to keep it confidential, but they broke that
confidentiality when they reached out to vander Pump Dogs for
(04:07):
a donation, and they could have reached out to us
for a donation. We just weren't aware of the circumstances.
We weren't getting updates on him or anything. They even
said that it would take four months to get him
rehabilitated before rehoming him, and so we just didn't even
think that they were going to rehome him so quickly.
(04:27):
But they could have reached out to us for money
and we would have happily given them money to keep
working with Graham.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
So Sheena has said that she put you up in
her apartment for free and took care of you when
you didn't have anywhere to go. Can you shed some
light on that.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Shina did not put me up at her apartment for free.
I sub letted her apartment. She wanted to keep her
la apartment while she was living in her house in
San Diego with her family with broken her baby, and
this was also during the pandemic. So she had this
COVID rate on her apartment and she wanted to keep it,
(05:09):
but she didn't want to be paying such a large
sum of money each month when she wasn't even using it.
So she knew that I was in a place where
I was looking for somewhere to live, and she offered
for me to stay at her place at a discounted
rent rate, and so I paid my low rent every
(05:30):
month plus utilities, and.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
I also cat sat for her cat who had.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
It was a procedure where they had to pump her
cat with mercury, and because the baby couldn't be exposed
to the mercury, she needed someone to look after this cat.
So I it was like, I'll look after her, like
it's not a problem. So it worked out pretty well
for both of us. But of course now she's saying
(05:58):
that I lived there rent free, but it seems to
be that I live free and Sheena's mind.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Another cast member recently said in her podcast that you
were a fan of the show. Can you explain or
tell me that story?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, I don't want to offend any fans out there,
because you guys are incredible. I just didn't watch vander
pump roles. I didn't know what it was when I
met James, and then I started looking into it because
my friends told me and he told me about it,
and I did some research. I didn't watch all the episodes,
(06:35):
but I.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Wasn't a big reality TV viewer.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I started watching The Kardashians with James because James liked
the fact that Kanye was on, and you know, like it.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Was entertaining to tune in.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
But I didn't take it super seriously, and I know
our friend group likes to watch Love Island, and so
that was one of the shows that I started watching
post filming.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But I really.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Didn't quite know what the show was and it was
definitely naive to that. But no, I wasn't a fan.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
People think you masterminded this whole thing. What is your
response to that.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I definitely didn't mastermind this. I think I fell into
this situation and just didn't know how to handle it.
The thought has crossed my mind, like did Tom mastermind this?
He is known to self produce and all he has
is this show, and the success of the show equals
(07:43):
longevity in his career. He's over forty now and this
is his life. This is his main income. When we
did have conversations about like how is this going to
play out, he said like one of the pros is
that can be together next season. And so not to
(08:05):
say that he's the mastermind behind it. I think he
had his motivation behind it. That really escalated the situation.
Whereas if it wasn't a reality TV show and we
weren't all filming, I don't know if it would be
like this. I wonder you say he's forty, you say
(08:26):
all these things about Tom, did you actually see a
real future with him? Okay, So this is interesting because
when I worked in my therapy, I realized that when
you're choosing men, specifically unhealthy men, it is this younger
version of yourself choosing these guys to try to get
(08:47):
some wound healed, some like something to add up within you.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
And so when that registered in my mind, I was like, oh,
my God, and.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Her child chose Tom, this forty year old Like no,
I'm like, no, honey. When it all played out, a
lot of his character came forward, and Oh, the way
that he would talk to my parents, it just seemed
(09:21):
like a James two point zero situation. And I won't
allow that in my relationships anymore. I think family is
really important. And I know I said in the past that, like,
I don't want to be like my mom, but my
mom is an incredible woman who is very caring and
she wants the best for me, and she's a mama
bear in the way that like I am her baby,
(09:43):
and she she just hates everything that's happening right now.
That I had to learn my lessons on my own,
you know, being in that rebellious era of your life,
wanting to make your own mistakes. You know, I'm learning
the hard way.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
So we saw you have an anxiety breakdown on air
after the discussing the James.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Right, Oh yeah, what.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Do people not know or understand about that?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
They? No one understand that I was really hungover the
next day and I had anxiety. I think that conversation
that I had with the girls in the car was
more of a vulnerable type of conversation that you would
normally have with close, trusted friends, and I knew in
(10:46):
the back of my mind that these are not safe
people for you to bear it all too. And as
I was telling them the story of me planning to
break up with James, and how I had intentions of
like leaving the ring box on the counter when he
got back from Europe, and that all of my stuff
(11:07):
was going to be gone, and how I felt like
that would be the safest way for me to break.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Up with him.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I didn't go into the details of why we were
breaking up and why couldn't be with him anymore, and
only a few people know that story. And it was
also at a time where like I didn't want to
tell the world because I didn't want to ruin his life.
(11:38):
I think that's what really brought on that panic attack,
because I wanted to say these things. There was more
to that story, and I was holding myself back and
overthinking everything and knowing that this isn't a safe place.
That anxiety built up so much so that like I
couldn't breathe, I felt faint, I couldn't see, like and
(12:02):
I just started hyperventilating. It was a go pro car scene,
so they captured all of that. I was able to
take a break right after that because we pulled into
this restaurant stop, which just reinforced that these are not
safe people. You shouldn't be with these people right now,
(12:25):
because they were like eating on their own and I
didn't feel like a welcoming vibe, like it felt like,
oh God, she's still here, like kind of attitude. And
as we got to Tahoe and Charlie met up with us,
and we were supposed to.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Stay there for a few days with the group.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
You know, I was ready to put what was said
behind us, and the girls were talking about it, filling
Charlie in and kind of mocking me and you know,
poking at me, and one of the producers pulled me
aside and said like, hey, you're letting these girls pick
(13:07):
on you right now. I think you should really speak
up for yourself. And I'm like, I'm so tired right now,
like I can't, like I can't do it. And he
was like, well, you know, it's just a critical of
Laala to be saying that she doesn't trust you around
her man, because like she cheated with James. If anyone
can't trust anybody around their man, it would be her, right,
(13:30):
And I.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Was like, yeah, yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
And so you know, I was trying to take this
direction and say my piece to stand up for myself, and.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I think it.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I mean, looking back, I'm like, oh god, Like I
could barely even get the words out because I was
so brain dead from the night before, so physically exhausted
from not having enough sleep and just feeling this pressure
that I need to, you know, like I need to
live up to this.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Part of me.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That's not allowing people to bullame me anymore, not allowing
their opinion of me to influence my opinion of myself,
and like really standing up for myself. But it wasn't
done in a way that was empowering to me. It
was prompted by an outside force and not something I
(14:34):
would normally say in that instance.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Even though it was a good.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Point for sure, Charlie felt uncomfortable staying there. She said,
I really really want to go back to LA and
I was like, dude, I don't blame you.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I want to go back there too. This isn't fun.
And so we.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Stayed up talking all night about it, and she's like,
how do we get home? Like how do we get
out of here? And it's like we should just like
tell producer we're leaving. We're not staying, like this isn't
a good environment and we're going. And so the producers
were like, no, no, no, you said you were gonna stay.
And Charlie's like, I drove all the way out here
(15:13):
in my least car and I just got here and
I want to leave and that's how bad I want
to leave. And eventually Charlie was like, look, they're not
gonna listen to me, Like you have to convince them.
It's on you, like, Raquel, please do this for me.
And so they said, fine, you can leave, only if
you tell the girls that you're gonna go meet up
(15:35):
with the guys at Guy's Night and I'm like okay.
And then they said, and tell Laala that you think
that she's just jealous of you because you were the
one that's got with Oliver, not her, and that he
chose you. And I was like okay, but then you
promise we can leave, Yes, yes, then you can go.
(15:58):
So I was like fine, anything to leave. If I
was in that instance without production there, I would just
say like, hey, you know, thanks for inviting me here.
I feel really uncomfortable. I'm still feeling tired and hungover
from that night in Vegas, and Charlie and I just
don't feel comfortable.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
We want to go home, but thanks for inviting us.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
It was fun while it lasted and then left, but instead,
of course, it had to be something more dramatic than that.
So of course they also like after that whole ride
back from Tahoe to la They're like, you have to
film immediately.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
You can't.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
You can't go home and sleep, you have to go
to this guy's night. I'm like, okay, I'll go to
the guys' night, and like, what's the worst that can happen? So,
you know, Charlie and I walk in and who's the
brightest eyed Bushy tailed to see me.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Who is so thrilled that I just walked in other
than Tom Sandoval.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
And it's such be us too, because I heard somebody
say like, oh yeah, Tom definitely knew. Producers definitely told
Tom that Charlie and Riccall were about to walk in,
like he was ready for that scene. And I'm like, God,
damn it, he fooled me. Like I thought he was
(17:28):
actually genuinely happy to see me. I was like, oh
my god, this is what it feels like to actually
be appreciated and feel like you're welcomed in a room
and feel like somebody wants you there, like the stark contrast.
But then later on finding out that he was acting
and that wasn't fully genuineugh. But you know, we had
(17:53):
a conversation that I remember that night. People were asking
me like, oh, where are we going after this? And
I said, oh, I'm going wherever Tom Sandival goes, And
they had that on my mic pack, like they have
that audio. And I didn't say it as a way
to be like, oh, I'm going wherever Tom's sand of
all goes, like I'm gonna like intervene, I'm gonna put
(18:14):
myself in the middle of this no, like I was
feeling like this person actually cares about me, and he's
like down to hear my side of the story. And
we went to Saddle Ranch across the street with our friends.
When I talked to him and explained everything that happened
(18:35):
that trip, it was like the whole world melted away,
Like the only person that I could see was him
and nobody else. And he was listening to me, like
actually listening to me and understanding the situations that I
was in and that like producers were intervening and telling
(18:58):
me to say certain things that I normally wouldn't actually say,
and he understood that, like he had been there before.
You know, There's a video that surfaced that one of
our friends took because they were in the car ready
to leave Saddle Ranch and they were waiting for us,
and I guess they pulled up right in front of us,
and Tom and I were sitting on the curb right
(19:20):
outside of Saddle Ranch.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
We're just talking and talking and talking.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Away, and these friends took a video and they started
doing like a voice over of what we were saying
to each other, and it was actually pretty funny, and
I was like, oh, my gosh, you should send that
to Ariana. That's hilarious. And then someone somewhere was like,
oh no, no, maybe not because it seems cool. But
(19:46):
then it also seemed like, wait, is this cool or
is this not cool? Because it seems like you guys
are really like your faces are really close to each
other and you're having an in depth conversation.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Nothing happened that night.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
It was just like this stark contrast between being belittled,
being bullied, being harassed for having fun in Vegas on
a girl's trip, being exhausted, and like being welcomed into
this room where I felt wanted and then somebody actually
(20:26):
hearing me out and hearing what I'm saying and understanding
and relating and all of those things. Is like something
switched in me where my priority became this is something
that I need in my life, this is something that's lacking,
and this is something that is going to help me
survive through the rest of the season, and that took
(20:47):
first priority above everything else.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
When it was announced that you went into a treatment facility,
people said that your three month in patient treatment was
a PR stunt or that you really weren't in a
treatment center, but you were at the spa. Tell us
about that and how that made you feel well.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
First of all, my privacy was violated when somebody in
the trauma therapy center we were in the same group together.
I came in that week and she was leaving that week,
and I think she accidentally texted a friends saying, oh,
you wouldn't believe who was in the meadows with me,
Raquel from vander Pump Rules, And that got screenshotted and
(21:45):
sent out to the press, to the media somewhere, It
got somewhere, and then stories started circulating. Oh, no, she's
not at a mental health facility, she's not at a
treatment center.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
She's at a spa.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
And oh yeah, she's at this place called Miravelle in Arizona.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
So people were like, Rakhal's.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
At miraval with Tom's handival of course, like she's not
a trauma therapy center, she's not doing that.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
No, she's at a spa. And we know for a fact.
It's the update. And there were updates. Oh my god,
the updates.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Every single hour of every single day. It seemed like
there was a new update. But yeah, that update at
the time was people knew for a fact that I
was at a SPA and not a treatment facility, and
I think other cast members were saying that I was,
and NBC, Bravo, and Evolution, the production company that produces
(22:42):
Vander Pumper roles, all knew that I was actually at
the Meadows and there was paperwork to prove it. They
did nothing to prevent that rumor of ME being at
a SPA from flourishing. In fact, they actually perpetuated it
by bringing it on to Andy ks Watch What Happens Live.
Andy said, I was highly must have been highly medicated
(23:04):
at the reunion because I had no emotion, and so
I guess Andy Cohen was prompting his guests asking them,
do you think Rakala is actually at a mental health
facility or is she actually at a SPA and just
further perpetuate that rumor that I was at a SPA
(23:25):
even though they knew actually for a fact that I
was not.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
And all of.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
The commentators who said that they knew for a fact
that I was at a SPA have never come forward
and admitted that they were wrong. And I have not
received a single apology from any of them, and they're
continuing to post and talk about all things Vander pump,
(23:51):
including this podcast, even though I know some of them
don't even listen to the podcast. They're just listening to
the recaps of the people doing recaps of the podcast,
which is not all the information, Like there is some
juicy stuff in here, you know, like there's stuff that
I'm revealing that people higher up don't want you to know.
(24:16):
So do your due diligence and listen to the whole
podcast
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