February 13, 2025 • 15 mins
Laughs, Glam, and Candy for Dinner. PLUS: How to Protect Your Peace
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
So I went to a movie premiere last night. It's
called kind of Pregnant. It's a Netflix film. It's Amy Schumer.
Let me spoiler alert and tell you that it's good.
It's funny. I just felt like she's a mom. She's
put her whole body into this movie. It just was different.
Her other movies are great, and she's funny, and she's
just really a good comedic actress in these roles. I
(00:34):
actually I haven't really seen her stand up, but I
think she might be a better actress, comedic actress than
stand up. But I think I've only seen clips, so
I can't speak with authority on that, but having seen
I Feel Pretty and Snatched and things like that, this
is like a cross between I Feel Pretty and Bridesmaids.
And it's just funny. She's very funny and there's laugh
(00:54):
There are a laugh out loud moments. She can really
do the straight guy in the act and the directing,
the guy Taylor Spindel, the way he directed it, it's
just it's like you're expecting, but it's unexpected. The transitions
you'll just see in the shots, the transitions between one thing,
the quiet moments that make you laugh.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
He did a great job.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
It's a great movie, and it's good for like go
out to movies level, not just like sit home on
your ass Netflix and chill level. So I thought it
was good. So the premiere, I did the red carpet.
First off, Kevin Maser, my ex, who's a big celebrity photographer,
the first one whoever pushed me out on a carpet
awkwardly because I.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Was a nobody. He was there.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I then ran into Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld. I've known
them for a minute. I've talked to them in Mexico,
like I have met them years ago at Andy Cohen's
Christmas party. I have like a peripheral in between acquaintanceship
and friendship with them, like a mutual respect with Jerry
and Jessica. I'm not very social and so I'm not
(01:52):
like going to many dinner parties, but I like them,
like I can't explain it. I just could hang with them.
And I get him. He's a comedian and I can
tell like the first thing I said to him was like,
this is your idea of heaven, Isn't it just like
being out and having to like socialize.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
It's sexual.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
But nevertheless, like he looks good and polish doing it.
They've been married forever. They're a team. You can tell
that's an accomplishment. Their kids are growing. They're empty nesters.
She was talking about her cat who is in issues
anothery're not empty nesters. But like, I just think that
being a couple in entertainment as a comedian, which is
(02:32):
a very specific type of person that you know, is
in ways social and ways introverted, complicated, you know, just
a different type of person. I think for them to
have been together for so long, with the media, with money,
with power, with all of it, I think it's an accomplishment.
So I'm just gonna give flowers to Jerry and Jessica.
(02:53):
And I had a nice talk with them, and like
I said, there's like a polish to him, and he's
just like an elegant adult in this space in this media.
He's dressed nice, like he's tick. He's like a man,
you know, all right, So and she's dressed and I
just like them, so they would. So I saw them
and I enjoy them, and then I went Then the
(03:14):
movie was funny. I brought Danielle, who's the president of
my company. I bring her to a lot of these
things because they'd sort of become hybrid work things. And
if I bring a friend, I'm going to know everybody
and have to walk the carpet and I feel self
conscious and I'm rushing, Or if I bring a date,
it's the same thing. So it's kind of like work
slash enjoyable. And I love that light part of my
life that I get to have work and pleasure be overlapping.
(03:38):
So then we go to the after party, which is
at the Plaza. The Swan's premiere, which was Ryan Murphy's premiere,
was also there. It's a great space, by the way,
I think it's They say it's the Oak Room, but I.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Don't know if it is because this is upus stairs.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Anyway, It's beautiful place. Looked like the food was amazing.
I only regret not eating the food. Look like the
food is like elevated premiere food, giant gorgeous meatballs and rigatoni.
The thing is like, then where am I sitting And
it's just like the breath and the talking and so
it's always like you're drinking your dinner. I had candy
for dinner because it was a candy station, which we'll
come into play later, Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
So I see Molly Simms, she's in the movie.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
She's beautiful, she's sweet, she's nice, she's fragile because of La.
And the thing about people from LA is that they're
experiencing such an incredible trauma that really, for only a
week everybody else gave a shit about. So I have
a team that's managing the La fire warehouse and all
that stuff. But to see Molly and her still knee deep,
(04:36):
waist deep, neck deep in the emotion of it because
she lives in LA. And if you're an La person,
your city has crumbled, it's changed. Half your friends have
lost their homes. You know there are poor people in
the same community that it's just that that are that
are that are devastated. And when that there's a seismic
shift in entertainment, the town takes a hit. So the
(04:57):
town was already weird. Things were weird. People weren't making
as any movies and TV in the same way. It's
just not the same. I can't really explain it. But
if you've ever lived in La, which I did for
a lot of my life, you know that La has changed.
And also there's a crime and homeless and post pandemic issue,
Like there's a bunch of things. So now they get
the fires, and the first thing I said was fuck,
(05:17):
they were already on their last legs. Tim Dillan and
I talk about it all the time. He's just like,
Las weird now and then like kind of get out
of there. So then the fires, and now you know,
people don't know do they move somewhere else if they
have to be there and their kids are in school,
they're sort of moving to Manhattan Beach, renting in Newport,
going to La Jolla, going somewhere else if they can move.
(05:40):
Are they moving to Vegas, Austin, Nashville, New York? Like
Palm Springs. It's a weird hodgepodg Montecito, et cetera. But
then someone I know is selling their house and I thought,
and not near the beach or not near any fireplace,
but near the mountains, And they were like, it's going
to be a hard one because like, I just don't
think anyone knows what to do. But by the same token,
(06:01):
there's a whole disparity right now in a whole class
warfare situation going on because of the poor and the
rich and it's just a shit show. You know that
poor experienced it, but then the media is reporting rich
people and looting in rich people's houses and people who
have second homes, and it's not They still lost something.
So we can't belittle someone's despair because other poor people
(06:22):
are experiencing it. It's just a weird convergence at the
same time of rich and poor experiencing a tragedy similarly
yet drastically differently because the middle class became poor and
one day in one community of four thousand homes. Okay,
so I seem Ali Sims, she's sweet. I see Chris Rock.
I don't stay high because he's like in a small
(06:43):
sea of people that I like him so much, and
he helped me a lot just by sending me something
about stand up. And I've talked to him once in
Miami at a party. I just like him. He's just
a nice guy. So Seth Meyers love him too, Like
he's just cute and sheepish and wholesome and nice and
I just and funny.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
So I watch the movie. It's very funny. I walk out.
I do a review.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Amy Schumer tags the director Taylor Spindel, She's like the
only review I really care about is Bethany's and I
give it a nine out of ten. I think it's funny,
it's great. I tag Netflix, like whatever, whatever, my reviews
have some weight. So now, and I realize then that
Happy Madison produced it. And she says in her speech,
(07:26):
she's like, anyway, Dave Adam Sandler. She's like, I know
a lot of you like him. She's like, he's not
a good guy. I don't believe it. But she's making
a joke. She says it twice. She's making a joke.
She's got a funny speech. Shout out and flowers to
Amy Schumer because in her speech about the movie, she
doesn't just like she gives some colors. She's super grateful
to everyone, and you can tell it's real, like she
knows every detail about every person that worked on the movie.
(07:46):
Like she gets heat about different things and about politics
and Israel. And but I'm just gonna tell you I
pretty much know people, and I've met Amy, and like,
I think she's cool.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
She's certainly cool enough, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
She's appreciate dating her crew, she's grateful for the movie.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
She's funny.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
There we are, so we had the dating coach on
who talked about we're in you're a CEO and you're
interviewing prospects, you're interviewing employees. He brings up an intern.
(08:26):
I don't like that because that means like degrading, like
I'm up here and you're beneath me. So I'm just
going to say interviewing prospects. The interesting thing that I've
learned recently, You know, it's funny when someone says it's
not you, it's me, and that it's not you it's
me has come to be like some version of bullshit
and a cop out, like a guy is copping out
(08:47):
and they're saying, it's not you, it's me. What if
it really is not you, it's them, Like I actually
think it is not you, it's them. I'll tell you why.
Let's say you're dating someone and you've done the work.
You're great, like you've gone to therapy. You know, you
know when you're a little unhinged, you know, when you're
a little stressed, you know when you're a little afraid.
(09:09):
You know when you're dating to kind of fill a void,
or you're drinking too much, or you just want to
have fun. But like it's not going that great. You're
feeling really low on Sundays, you're getting Sunday scaries, you're lonely,
like you're dating for the wrong reasons, you're dating out
of desperation. Okay, you could do that, you're doing it.
We've all been through like unhinged manic phases. That takes
some self awareness too. But like you know, if you're
not at your peak performance, you know when you're a
(09:30):
little bit of a hot mess. But if you're not there,
you're really like doing the work and you're aware, and
you're reading the books, you're talking to therapists, you're self aware.
You're just working on yourself.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
You know when you're like that. You know when you're
in a good spot. So if you're in a good
spot and you're evolved and you come into contact with
someone that you're dating or you get into a relationship
with that you feel strongly about the pheromones, the oxytocinet connected.
Maybe you sleep with them, maybe you fall in love
too soon, maybe you like them a lot, maybe you
(10:05):
think you're gonna fall in love.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Maybe you get hot and heavy.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
You know, all these things happen, and by the way,
these dating coaches are smart because they're trying to get
it not to happen. Because what you're doing is you're
getting involved with a stranger and you're starting to project
everything you want them to be, your expectations of them.
You don't know them that well, but you made out
you had chemistry. Now you're thinking about your wedding or
their family, or you're gonna meet their kids, or you're
(10:28):
glorifying everything they do.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
It's so amazing.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
He texted me this, or he sent me flowers, or
he called me to go on a date. You make
everything into something. Oh, it's so nice. He's taking his
kids skiing, whatever it is. We make the whole thing
into a big thing that it might not actually be
because we want it to work. We're fantasizing, we're projecting. Okay,
now a person, the new car smells off, Things start
(10:53):
to happen, things start to fall. It's their communication style,
it's their follow through, it's their reliability, it's their red flags.
It's things they say. It's things that happen with their
ex that you're noticing. It's things people are saying about them.
It's getting back to you. You know, people like are
rolling their eyes, your friends don't like them, all these
red flags and you think you can kind of change them.
(11:14):
And I don't know why we do this, but we do.
You think, like for you, you're that special and people
do evolve and change. We talked about this on this podcast.
I don't think that people go out the way they
came in. I got into a relationship with a player
one such a player, different girl every weekend. Craziest reputation
ended up being a relationship guy. Like if a person's
(11:35):
a family person and has been in a relationship or
someone could just because George Clooney was the Ultimate Bachelor,
he probably had the worst reputation.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
He probably goes to girls all the time.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Warren Beatty was an animal, but there is you know,
but we go and we think that we're going to
change them. And you can't be in a relationship with
who you want someone to be, especially if it's not
evolving and going in the right direction. And if you
once you realize that someone is not at their peak
potential as a candidate, you got to cut bait because
(12:09):
you're going to be overcompensating and gaslighting yourself because you're
connected to them and now your body's gotten into it,
and you're attracted to them and you're making excuses, and
if someone says it's not you, it's me, it is
probably them because they are not They can't do the work.
They're not willing or capable to do the work to
(12:30):
meet you where you're at. Years ago, I went to
a therapist about a relationship with someone who was madly
in love with me. I wasn't in love with him,
but I couldn't even talk about my childhood to the therapist.
I couldn't do any of the work. It overwhelmed me.
I just didn't want to go back there. I didn't
want to revisit I didn't want to talk about it now.
This wasn't going to end up being my guy. But
it didn't matter. I couldn't even do the work for
(12:52):
the relationship that it was to that point because I
wasn't ready. So if a person is not ready to
do the work in order to meet you where you're at,
because that's the only possible way, and it's still drinking
someone pretty, but it's the only possible way you could
work with someone who's seeming deficient in areas is if
they really are doing the work, they're proactive on the case.
Let's say they're an addict, they're recovering. Let's say they
(13:15):
have anxiety or abandonment issues or mental issues or avoidant style.
Where you have attachment style, you need to know where
you stand at all time.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
They're avoids.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
They never let you know where you stand, like things
like that. But if someone's working and evolving, that's one thing.
If you see that, they're just this is the definition
of insanity. They are not working, revolving, and they're not
evolved enough to even do the work to get there.
Get the fuck out. Time is precious at any age.
You will not change someone. They will not evolve. To
(13:48):
meet you where you're at. And also, don't forget you're
evolving too. You don't need to be stuck back in
third grade with someone when you're in ninth grade and
time does fly, and it's just there's no I have
ever a right time to break up.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Is it fourth of July? You have a party coming?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Is it the summer and you want to be out
and have a summer romance with this person and be
sexy and cute and go travel. Is it New Year's Eve?
Is it Thanksgiving? Is it Christmas? Is it back to school?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Is it New Year or New Year? Is it what if? Easter?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It never ends? Have the fucking courage, cut bait. You
cannot waste time at any age. I don't want anyone
to waste time. I don't want my fourteen year old
daughter to waste time if something is not good for her.
So it takes discipline, it takes courage, but you must
do it. You really buy and large will not drastically
change a person who's not actively working on changing themselves
So I went to a movie premiere last night. It's
called kind of Pregnant. It's a Netflix film. It's Amy Schumer.
Let me spoiler alert and tell you that it's good.
It's funny. I just felt like she's a mom. She's
put her whole body into this movie. It just was different.
Her other movies are great, and she's funny, and she's
just really a good comedic actress in these roles. I
(00:34):
actually I haven't really seen her stand up, but I
think she might be a better actress, comedic actress than
stand up. But I think I've only seen clips, so
I can't speak with authority on that, but having seen
I Feel Pretty and Snatched and things like that, this
is like a cross between I Feel Pretty and Bridesmaids.
And it's just funny. She's very funny and there's laugh
(00:54):
There are a laugh out loud moments. She can really
do the straight guy in the act and the directing,
the guy Taylor Spindel, the way he directed it, it's
just it's like you're expecting, but it's unexpected. The transitions
you'll just see in the shots, the transitions between one thing,
the quiet moments that make you laugh.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
He did a great job.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
It's a great movie, and it's good for like go
out to movies level, not just like sit home on
your ass Netflix and chill level. So I thought it
was good. So the premiere, I did the red carpet.
First off, Kevin Maser, my ex, who's a big celebrity photographer,
the first one whoever pushed me out on a carpet
awkwardly because I.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Was a nobody. He was there.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I then ran into Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld. I've known
them for a minute. I've talked to them in Mexico,
like I have met them years ago at Andy Cohen's
Christmas party. I have like a peripheral in between acquaintanceship
and friendship with them, like a mutual respect with Jerry
and Jessica. I'm not very social and so I'm not
(01:52):
like going to many dinner parties, but I like them,
like I can't explain it. I just could hang with them.
And I get him. He's a comedian and I can
tell like the first thing I said to him was like,
this is your idea of heaven, Isn't it just like
being out and having to like socialize.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
It's sexual.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
But nevertheless, like he looks good and polish doing it.
They've been married forever. They're a team. You can tell
that's an accomplishment. Their kids are growing. They're empty nesters.
She was talking about her cat who is in issues
anothery're not empty nesters. But like, I just think that
being a couple in entertainment as a comedian, which is
(02:32):
a very specific type of person that you know, is
in ways social and ways introverted, complicated, you know, just
a different type of person. I think for them to
have been together for so long, with the media, with money,
with power, with all of it, I think it's an accomplishment.
So I'm just gonna give flowers to Jerry and Jessica.
(02:53):
And I had a nice talk with them, and like
I said, there's like a polish to him, and he's
just like an elegant adult in this space in this media.
He's dressed nice, like he's tick. He's like a man,
you know, all right, So and she's dressed and I
just like them, so they would. So I saw them
and I enjoy them, and then I went Then the
(03:14):
movie was funny. I brought Danielle, who's the president of
my company. I bring her to a lot of these
things because they'd sort of become hybrid work things. And
if I bring a friend, I'm going to know everybody
and have to walk the carpet and I feel self
conscious and I'm rushing, Or if I bring a date,
it's the same thing. So it's kind of like work
slash enjoyable. And I love that light part of my
life that I get to have work and pleasure be overlapping.
(03:38):
So then we go to the after party, which is
at the Plaza. The Swan's premiere, which was Ryan Murphy's premiere,
was also there. It's a great space, by the way,
I think it's They say it's the Oak Room, but I.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Don't know if it is because this is upus stairs.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Anyway, It's beautiful place. Looked like the food was amazing.
I only regret not eating the food. Look like the
food is like elevated premiere food, giant gorgeous meatballs and rigatoni.
The thing is like, then where am I sitting And
it's just like the breath and the talking and so
it's always like you're drinking your dinner. I had candy
for dinner because it was a candy station, which we'll
come into play later, Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
So I see Molly Simms, she's in the movie.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
She's beautiful, she's sweet, she's nice, she's fragile because of La.
And the thing about people from LA is that they're
experiencing such an incredible trauma that really, for only a
week everybody else gave a shit about. So I have
a team that's managing the La fire warehouse and all
that stuff. But to see Molly and her still knee deep,
(04:36):
waist deep, neck deep in the emotion of it because
she lives in LA. And if you're an La person,
your city has crumbled, it's changed. Half your friends have
lost their homes. You know there are poor people in
the same community that it's just that that are that
are that are devastated. And when that there's a seismic
shift in entertainment, the town takes a hit. So the
(04:57):
town was already weird. Things were weird. People weren't making
as any movies and TV in the same way. It's
just not the same. I can't really explain it. But
if you've ever lived in La, which I did for
a lot of my life, you know that La has changed.
And also there's a crime and homeless and post pandemic issue,
Like there's a bunch of things. So now they get
the fires, and the first thing I said was fuck,
(05:17):
they were already on their last legs. Tim Dillan and
I talk about it all the time. He's just like,
Las weird now and then like kind of get out
of there. So then the fires, and now you know,
people don't know do they move somewhere else if they
have to be there and their kids are in school,
they're sort of moving to Manhattan Beach, renting in Newport,
going to La Jolla, going somewhere else if they can move.
(05:40):
Are they moving to Vegas, Austin, Nashville, New York? Like
Palm Springs. It's a weird hodgepodg Montecito, et cetera. But
then someone I know is selling their house and I thought,
and not near the beach or not near any fireplace,
but near the mountains, And they were like, it's going
to be a hard one because like, I just don't
think anyone knows what to do. But by the same token,
(06:01):
there's a whole disparity right now in a whole class
warfare situation going on because of the poor and the
rich and it's just a shit show. You know that
poor experienced it, but then the media is reporting rich
people and looting in rich people's houses and people who
have second homes, and it's not They still lost something.
So we can't belittle someone's despair because other poor people
(06:22):
are experiencing it. It's just a weird convergence at the
same time of rich and poor experiencing a tragedy similarly
yet drastically differently because the middle class became poor and
one day in one community of four thousand homes. Okay,
so I seem Ali Sims, she's sweet. I see Chris Rock.
I don't stay high because he's like in a small
(06:43):
sea of people that I like him so much, and
he helped me a lot just by sending me something
about stand up. And I've talked to him once in
Miami at a party. I just like him. He's just
a nice guy. So Seth Meyers love him too, Like
he's just cute and sheepish and wholesome and nice and
I just and funny.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
So I watch the movie. It's very funny. I walk out.
I do a review.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Amy Schumer tags the director Taylor Spindel, She's like the
only review I really care about is Bethany's and I
give it a nine out of ten. I think it's funny,
it's great. I tag Netflix, like whatever, whatever, my reviews
have some weight. So now, and I realize then that
Happy Madison produced it. And she says in her speech,
(07:26):
she's like, anyway, Dave Adam Sandler. She's like, I know
a lot of you like him. She's like, he's not
a good guy. I don't believe it. But she's making
a joke. She says it twice. She's making a joke.
She's got a funny speech. Shout out and flowers to
Amy Schumer because in her speech about the movie, she
doesn't just like she gives some colors. She's super grateful
to everyone, and you can tell it's real, like she
knows every detail about every person that worked on the movie.
(07:46):
Like she gets heat about different things and about politics
and Israel. And but I'm just gonna tell you I
pretty much know people, and I've met Amy, and like,
I think she's cool.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
She's certainly cool enough, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
She's appreciate dating her crew, she's grateful for the movie.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
She's funny.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
There we are, so we had the dating coach on
who talked about we're in you're a CEO and you're
interviewing prospects, you're interviewing employees. He brings up an intern.
(08:26):
I don't like that because that means like degrading, like
I'm up here and you're beneath me. So I'm just
going to say interviewing prospects. The interesting thing that I've
learned recently, You know, it's funny when someone says it's
not you, it's me, and that it's not you it's
me has come to be like some version of bullshit
and a cop out, like a guy is copping out
(08:47):
and they're saying, it's not you, it's me. What if
it really is not you, it's them, Like I actually
think it is not you, it's them. I'll tell you why.
Let's say you're dating someone and you've done the work.
You're great, like you've gone to therapy. You know, you
know when you're a little unhinged, you know, when you're
a little stressed, you know when you're a little afraid.
(09:09):
You know when you're dating to kind of fill a void,
or you're drinking too much, or you just want to
have fun. But like it's not going that great. You're
feeling really low on Sundays, you're getting Sunday scaries, you're lonely,
like you're dating for the wrong reasons, you're dating out
of desperation. Okay, you could do that, you're doing it.
We've all been through like unhinged manic phases. That takes
some self awareness too. But like you know, if you're
not at your peak performance, you know when you're a
(09:30):
little bit of a hot mess. But if you're not there,
you're really like doing the work and you're aware, and
you're reading the books, you're talking to therapists, you're self aware.
You're just working on yourself.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
You know when you're like that. You know when you're
in a good spot. So if you're in a good
spot and you're evolved and you come into contact with
someone that you're dating or you get into a relationship
with that you feel strongly about the pheromones, the oxytocinet connected.
Maybe you sleep with them, maybe you fall in love
too soon, maybe you like them a lot, maybe you
(10:05):
think you're gonna fall in love.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Maybe you get hot and heavy.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
You know, all these things happen, and by the way,
these dating coaches are smart because they're trying to get
it not to happen. Because what you're doing is you're
getting involved with a stranger and you're starting to project
everything you want them to be, your expectations of them.
You don't know them that well, but you made out
you had chemistry. Now you're thinking about your wedding or
their family, or you're gonna meet their kids, or you're
(10:28):
glorifying everything they do.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
It's so amazing.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
He texted me this, or he sent me flowers, or
he called me to go on a date. You make
everything into something. Oh, it's so nice. He's taking his
kids skiing, whatever it is. We make the whole thing
into a big thing that it might not actually be
because we want it to work. We're fantasizing, we're projecting. Okay,
now a person, the new car smells off, Things start
(10:53):
to happen, things start to fall. It's their communication style,
it's their follow through, it's their reliability, it's their red flags.
It's things they say. It's things that happen with their
ex that you're noticing. It's things people are saying about them.
It's getting back to you. You know, people like are
rolling their eyes, your friends don't like them, all these
red flags and you think you can kind of change them.
(11:14):
And I don't know why we do this, but we do.
You think, like for you, you're that special and people
do evolve and change. We talked about this on this podcast.
I don't think that people go out the way they
came in. I got into a relationship with a player
one such a player, different girl every weekend. Craziest reputation
ended up being a relationship guy. Like if a person's
(11:35):
a family person and has been in a relationship or
someone could just because George Clooney was the Ultimate Bachelor,
he probably had the worst reputation.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
He probably goes to girls all the time.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Warren Beatty was an animal, but there is you know,
but we go and we think that we're going to
change them. And you can't be in a relationship with
who you want someone to be, especially if it's not
evolving and going in the right direction. And if you
once you realize that someone is not at their peak
potential as a candidate, you got to cut bait because
(12:09):
you're going to be overcompensating and gaslighting yourself because you're
connected to them and now your body's gotten into it,
and you're attracted to them and you're making excuses, and
if someone says it's not you, it's me, it is
probably them because they are not They can't do the work.
They're not willing or capable to do the work to
(12:30):
meet you where you're at. Years ago, I went to
a therapist about a relationship with someone who was madly
in love with me. I wasn't in love with him,
but I couldn't even talk about my childhood to the therapist.
I couldn't do any of the work. It overwhelmed me.
I just didn't want to go back there. I didn't
want to revisit I didn't want to talk about it now.
This wasn't going to end up being my guy. But
it didn't matter. I couldn't even do the work for
(12:52):
the relationship that it was to that point because I
wasn't ready. So if a person is not ready to
do the work in order to meet you where you're at,
because that's the only possible way, and it's still drinking
someone pretty, but it's the only possible way you could
work with someone who's seeming deficient in areas is if
they really are doing the work, they're proactive on the case.
Let's say they're an addict, they're recovering. Let's say they
(13:15):
have anxiety or abandonment issues or mental issues or avoidant style.
Where you have attachment style, you need to know where
you stand at all time.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
They're avoids.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
They never let you know where you stand, like things
like that. But if someone's working and evolving, that's one thing.
If you see that, they're just this is the definition
of insanity. They are not working, revolving, and they're not
evolved enough to even do the work to get there.
Get the fuck out. Time is precious at any age.
You will not change someone. They will not evolve. To
(13:48):
meet you where you're at. And also, don't forget you're
evolving too. You don't need to be stuck back in
third grade with someone when you're in ninth grade and
time does fly, and it's just there's no I have
ever a right time to break up.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Is it fourth of July? You have a party coming?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Is it the summer and you want to be out
and have a summer romance with this person and be
sexy and cute and go travel. Is it New Year's Eve?
Is it Thanksgiving? Is it Christmas? Is it back to school?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Is it New Year or New Year? Is it what if? Easter?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It never ends? Have the fucking courage, cut bait. You
cannot waste time at any age. I don't want anyone
to waste time. I don't want my fourteen year old
daughter to waste time if something is not good for her.
So it takes discipline, it takes courage, but you must
do it. You really buy and large will not drastically
change a person who's not actively working on changing themselves
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