Just B Rant: Big Girl Parenting Moment

Bethenny had her first big girl parenting moment. "No" would've been a perfectly good answer...but she's a really good kid. What do you think?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:12):
I had my first big girl parenting moment. And my
daughter and I are in the Hamptons. I went to
a dinner party and she went to meet her friends
in sag Harbor. So she had a girlfriend staying with us.
Really lovely girl, really lovely girl. And they had two
boys that were going to be in the Hampton it's
not boyfriend, just boy friends. And they met them in

(00:33):
sag Harbor as kids do, and they walk around. They
go to the yogurt store, they just walk around. They
sit on the bench, they go to the pizza place.
It's great. And then they were like. She's like, I
don't want to be here anywhere. She called me. She goes,
I want to Like, we did it. They had had
dinner at a taco restaurant. Then they did it. Can
I bring them back to the house. Now we live
on the beach. My daughter's really proud, she's proud of
her house. She's excited. She's at an age, you know,

(00:54):
where they're first getting social. And she said, can I
bring them back to the house. My first instinct, I'm
at a dinner party that night. I was smart enough.
My driver from the city had brought Brinn out because
she was with her dads, and I made a new
rule that like he would be here the whole day
because the schedule is not the same back home, not
the eaedy to be in my staffing schedule, but that
he would be at the whole day in case she

(01:14):
needed any rides, because I don't really want her to
get into an uber, you know, even though ubers are
safe and I've had great experiences and it's a great
tool that I use, I'd rather him drive her, and
it's also can be expensive and great. So he was around,
so I thought to myself, I said, well not alone.
I was like I was at the dinner party. I
was presented with her wanting to go back to the

(01:35):
house with her friends, and my first instinct was no,
Like you have a friend saying you went into sag Harbor,
you visited, and by the way, no would have been
a perfectly good answer. But she's a really good kid,
and she has to go to camp. We've never done camp.
We've never done nanny. So like she's out here with me,
like right now, I'm doing the podcast and she's been
sitting around. We're going to go on the boat at three,
So no one's crying for her, but like it's not
the summer of all day, every day activities and she's

(01:58):
such a good kid. And I'm like, uh, I go, no,
she said why, I said, I don't. I don't know.
I don't have a good reason. I was at the dinner,
but I'm like, I don't want to deal with this
right now, brit, I don't know. Just go home and
go with your friend. But Mom, why, And she wasn't
being rude or antagonistic, She's like why, Like literally, why
I go? I don't know why. I don't have a
good reason why. I don't know why. I just don't
like this. I don't want to be in the stage.

(02:18):
I want you to go into the stroller right now.
I don't want to deal with this. What do I do?
So I was like, okay, problem solver, I am. So
I call Emelio, my driver who was with me. So
I said, okay, here's what I want you to do.
I want you to pick up the girls in sag
Harbor and the boys. And I knew that the boys
were all the way in Mantak and it's they're a problem.
They're going to get themselves home. They knew about it.

(02:39):
I knew this would be a problem, but whatever, So
I said, cause I don't want it to be that,
like it's always me. And now my driver's gonna have
to go from Southampton all the way back to man
Talk to bring these boys home two and a half
hours out of his way, because I'm very respectful of
everyone's time and i just don't waste people's time. And
I'm not going to do that to him, even though
he offered. So now I was like, so she said, no,
they're going to get to Ubers. They're fine. I said, okay.
So I sent Amelia home and I'm like, okay, take

(03:02):
them all home. Be cool. She wanted to go swimming.
Let them go in the pool, and like, what time
do we think is reasonable? Like that this will all
get shut down. I'm gonna of course. Now my dinner
party was over for me. I took it to the
board at the dinner party and everybody. Most people said no,
but one parent I could tell was like, I mean,
who cares, what's the difference. I would do it. It's
the age. Whatever. So he waits while they go in
the pool. I come home a half hour later, I

(03:24):
make takeitos and microwave popcorn trying to be cool. I
don't know why I had that cool food in my
freezer and the pitcher of waters to make their shure.
They're all hydrating. They're in the pool like peeked out,
not to be like the weirdo. And just so they
were fed and went into my room and I texted
a million and I We're like, okay, let's say, like
at ten thirty we figure out what our plan is.
Where I went to get the fuck out of here.
We're in the Hampton's it's going to take an hour
these kids to get home. So then I'm looking at

(03:46):
him and these were like, all right, ten forty five,
ten forty five, let's ask like, let's make sure. And
at ten thirty, just say does everyone have their uber
plan in order? So ten forty five, we're going to
shut the program down. They'd been there for like two hours.
I guess like he's like, yeah, let them hang. And
I also wanted to get Amelia to the city on time.
I don't want to waste his time, and so I'm
trying to take care of everybody. So I know Amelia

(04:17):
is fairly young, my driver, and so he's like realizing,
like he was at age not that long ago, and like,
you know, closer to it than I am. And so
I'm like, I just don't want to be on. I'm like,
I want this to be a good experience for them,
because I want the kids at my house. I would
rather not have them walking around sag Harbor, even though
it's safe quote unquote, I just don't want my kids
walking around any ten. I want them locked in a
prison cell in my basement. So I was like trying

(04:38):
to be cool, but not too cool. So I was like,
all right, so then we would decided on ten forty five,
and of course that meant they were working out of
the pool Atoll eleven, and then we were working and
then I was like in my room going to sleep.
It was silent. Amelia was working with them on what
the Uber program was going to be home, and he
ended up there was a big music festival not far
so he ended up having to drive them to some

(05:00):
where they could get an Uber and the boys ended
up leaving like probably like eleven thirty. I mean, those
kids didn't get on to like twelve thirty. I mean
I knew they were going in the wrong direction, not
towards their house. But these kids don't listen and don't
understand and brin the next day, I was like, right,
they thought they were going on the way to Montak.
I'm like, right, I told you this. Who cares whatever.
So for those parents if their kids came home late,
I'm sorry. I don't know how to control everybody. I don't.

(05:22):
I wanted them out of here by ten thirty, ten
forty five. So I didn't want to be the cool mom.
You know, we're all having a rave at my house.
It's just like this is what went on. The game
was moving fast and it was like full on. It
was big girl Panny time, like there was the witching
hour we're getting into now. I was like, I don't
like this part. I don't like this space. I think
I handled myself well. She was lovely. She cleaned up

(05:43):
by the way backing out. She had a friend this weekend.
And what I did ahead of the time, I did
a contract with her. So her first friend this weekend
at this house. House is new whatever it's got the
new car smell, I said to her. The following I
emailed her, I said, Okay, you will make your bed
every morning, you will clean up after yourself, you won't
be leaving wet tow on the bed or on the floor.
You'll go down to the basement if you have a

(06:03):
bunch of people, because there's like a basement like sort
of cabana room like versus like trapsing through. You know,
just like just things you won't leave, like food everywhere,
like you're gonna clean up after yourself. And she said okay,
and I go, no, no, no, like you have to like
sign like you have to in writing on the text
say yes, agreed. I'm like, because you won't get your
allowance if not. And she agreed, and she was great,

(06:25):
Like it was just like a contract. But it's I
know it sounds crazy. You could say something, but I
wrote it down. I mean, it wasn't a contract, it
was a text. But the point is my I wrote one.
Number one this you'll make your bed every day. Number
two you'll do this. Number three the wet towels. Things
you've experienced that you've seen, like oh, no food in
the bedroom, like I've seen that with like a wrappers
and everywhere, and there are sometimes aunts in the kitchen
and I don't want I just was like making rules.

(06:47):
I made five rules. That was it. She agreed, she
didn't break one of them, like setting boundaries, being trustworthy,
but not like getting mad afterwards, like it's in their mind,
Like I let her know ahead of time what the
terms were means. It's great. Invite this friend back anytime
you want. I'm so excited. Invite the boys over. Like
we figured it out. We have something going here. We
started on a level of trust. I pulled on my

(07:08):
big real panties, and I think I checked two good
boxes this weekend and learned. And so I was thrilled
with my behavior, her behavior, the boy's behavior. Shout out
to those boys, moms. Those boys were good. Brince's friend
was amazing. It was a really successful thing because like
I'm cool, but like I'm not that cool. I'm not
the one who's having sixteen kids over. I'm not the
hockey mom with the chair with the forty seven snacks,
you know, with a big blowhorn, cheering like I'm not

(07:31):
every mom, I'm not everything. I'm who I am. I'm
doing my best. But for me, I'm grading myself an
a plus on having you know, her friend this weekend,
which she does all the time. Like that's not a problem.
You could have a couple of friends, but having the
boys come, like, I gave myself really good grade. What
do you think first? That the answer that's the after