August 15, 2025 • 12 mins
When a gift is actually an obligation. PLUS: Sociopathic food orders.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
So this is a high class, unrelatable problem, but there'll
be something connected to it that you relate to, I believe.
So I'll go to restaurants where I know the owner,
or they want me to say something good about the
restaurant and review it well, or they know I'm a
(00:32):
public person, et cetera, and the restaurant, once we've already
ordered our food and we know what we're getting, then
sends over a bunch of things to try. This is
a problem. I'm going to explain why I can afford
to buy anything on the menu that I want, And
(00:55):
I choose what I want to eat, and Brennan and
I are out to dinner and we together decide what
we are going to get. Sometimes we're going to dinner
because we want the experience and we're full because like
we ate in the afternoon, but we're still out of
town and we want to go, or we had plans
to go, or whatever the reason is, so we go.
And this happened three times over our ASTHMI vacation. Again, unrelatable,
(01:17):
privileged content. But let me just I'm just this is
the show where I rant and I could have Hillary
Clinton and Matthew McConaughey on here and you guys don't
really give a ship. But if I ran to bat
tuna fish, it rates. So we go to restaurants while
we were away on our ski vacation, and the owner
will send things over. So the problem is one night
(01:38):
we went to a restaurant and we knew what we
wanted to get. We planned, we're going to get the salad,
We're going to share it. We got the octopus, we
got the steak. Okay, So then the restaurant, in an
effort to impress us, start sending over everything on the menu.
I'm busting out. I feel like guilty. The problem is,
now you're moving food around your plate. Now you're wasting food,
(01:59):
which gives me so much anxiety. So we had ordered
a slice steak to share. By the time a slice
steak came, we couldn't eat anymore. And so we had
gotten things that we didn't want, but we felt compelled
to eat them because they were sent over tar tar
like carpaccio, like raw beef carpote. That's a very specific thing.
My daughter doesn't want that. She's fourteen. She I mean,
that doesn't matter her age. She's weird things in caviar
(02:21):
blah blah blah, but she didn't want the carpaccio. I
didn't want the carpaccio either, because, frankly, I was eating
steak for dinner. I wasn't on like a fucking carnivore
caveman meet the Crudes diet. Like, we knew what we were doing.
So now we got the carpaccio and it's raw, and
Brinn's like, oh, she tried it, but we're whatever. We
know what we're doing, so we I had to take
(02:43):
a little bite and move it over, and then something
else came and what was the other then giant ravioli.
I don't want, Like, honestly, I'm not a food combiner,
but I don't need to be eating every single food
group in the same meal and then the dessert, Like
you have to try the dessert, and then we get
the dessert, and we don't like the dessert. It's not
the desert. We would have ordered your taket. So now
(03:03):
you give me a problem. Years ago, a boyfriend gave
me a spa trip to Canyon Ranch in the Berkshires,
but you had to use it during the next couple
of months, and it had to be used like between
a Monday and a Thursday. Like, now you've give me
a problem. Years ago, jay Z sean Carter because it
said the Carters gave me a truffle. It was in
a white like the small version of a Chinese soup container,
(03:27):
like the small clear one. Just a truffle and it
was on top of some white raw rice like I
guess it keeps it moist or hydrated or whatever. So
and I was before Thanksgiving. It was for Thanksgiving, like
happy Holidays from the Carters. And it was a truffle
and it was so freeing and it was amazing. But
we were going out of town. I'm like, no, I
don't have a chet. What am I doing with this truffle?
(03:48):
Like I'm going out of town? So it's like, am
I going to carry this truffle on the plane to
wherever I am bring it to? It's a fucking problem.
I got ninety nine problems, and a truffle ain't one,
but it is. It is. I got nice eighty nine problems,
into truffle is one. So then we went to another restaurant.
We ordered a steak. It was another night. It was
a couple of nights after we don't only eat steak.
(04:09):
But for whatever reason, this was this is another restaurant,
and we love the steaks. We got the steak, and
we got this salad and a similar situation, and then
we got this big pasta and it's like, what are
we all doing? What are we doing? Now? This pasta
is going to sit there. We took two bites. We
weren't in the mood for pasta because we can afford
to buy basta. It's one of the things I've worked
hard for at this restaurant. If we want any of
(04:30):
these items, if we wanted them, they were there on
the menu, we could eat them like we could have them.
We could have it. I could swing the seventeen dollars
for the pasta. We didn't want it, so now it
came one bite. It wasn't even we didn't want it.
So I was like what And we were paying for
the bill, So let's just do this. We're paying for
the bill. Give us you want to give us, somebody
give us a discount. Sometimes it happens too that another
(04:52):
table they want to send you a drink, but I
see that you're not drinking, right, What are we doing?
A drink is three dollars, like maybe it's seven dollars.
I don't know how much a drink is. We could
get our own drink, like now it's an obligation. This
table four tables away. They look over. Did they not
accept the drink? We didn't accept the drink because want
and a Why didn't accept the drink? Because I could
get my own drink And I'm not trying to be
(05:13):
me And it's just like you offered us a drink,
offer me like you know, a wallet, something like different,
like a makeup bag. I don't even need that. I
get those a lot too, but like offer something that
we like don't. When I buy someone a gift, it's
usually something that they don't already have or they wouldn't
buy themselves. So if you're sending me a gift in
(05:46):
the restaurant, it should be like here we sent over
and this is a smart thing. This is what restaurants do.
You want to kiss somebody's ass, give them a fifty
dollars gift card costs you nothing. They're gonna use it there,
so here and it makes you come back. So you
know what we see you've ordered, but the owners wanted
to give you a fifty dollars gift card towards next
time you're here, you'll fucking be You'll you'll have to go.
(06:09):
That's giving them a problem too, because you'll have to
go and change your whole vacation plans next year you
have to go back to this restaurant. But it's something
that feels like it's of value, right, or like we
have taken twenty five percent off of your bill. The
owners wanted to just thank you for coming. But I
don't need more food at a food restaurant where food
is available, Like if I'm in a cave stranded, yes,
(06:30):
send me over the pasta, I'd love it, or the
steak or the carpaccio or the tartar or the weirdest
thing on your menu. But if I'm in the very
restaurant that gave me the scroll in the book that
I get to read and order what I want, trust
and believe. If there's something else I want on here,
I'll get it. If there's a drink I want to get,
I'll get it. Now you're giving me an extra drink.
I have to order to be polite, go over, say
hello to you. Now I'm doing it. Appearance I don't
(06:51):
want it. I don't want it. I want it's like
anything else. I want the food for free, or I'll
choose what I want. I don't want these bizarre in betweens.
That's why I don't borrow. I don't borrow from designers,
because you know what. They send you something, you get
to wear it, you send it back. I feel like
a loser. Oh thank you. I'm so grubby and desperate
(07:13):
that you're sending something to my house. I'm gonna look
through it and I'm gonna wear it. I'm giving it back.
Absolutely not. You send something into this house, you never
see it again. Okay, you send it through the mail.
I could give it away, I could paint in it.
It's not coming back, So don't send me. I don't
want it. I don't want to borrow anything. I don't
want to borrow your man and I don't want to
borrow your dress. And I don't want to borrow your necklace.
(07:35):
I'm buying or I'm taking period. Give it, send it
over here. It is free game. Also, they send you
something over then you gotta get it altered. You altered
it to yourself. You're giving it back, double degrading. I
am not a borrower. Ask anyone, Ask anyone. I remember
Christian Siriano, they gave me a yellow dress. He said,
(07:56):
keep it. One time? One time did I borrow? I
mean from my oscar to the rent it because it
was last minute for an event that I didn't know
I was going to. But it's it's like that is
like that's as rare as an apocalypse, like that that
doesn't happen. So yeah, you say. And also a Cadillac
sends something into the driveway for me to look at it,
(08:17):
and I didn't even like that. You send and Bronco, Bronco,
I have multiple Broncos. Bronco wanted to send a car
for here for a month. What what do I get to, like,
have sex with your husband from and then give him back.
I don't want either of those things. I don't want
to Bronco. You send a Bronco on my driveway, I'm
keeping it. That's it. Don't send it. I don't even
want all this shit too. Let's talk about all the
(08:38):
shit in my house. It has become a situation where
I don't want to go out of town. I come home.
Is all the shit? How do they have my address?
Because the same pr companies are sending it, and I've
sent to them all. I don't want it. I don't
want it. If I want it, I'll tell you I
want I don't want it. I don't want any of
the shit. So I went out one night with someone
(09:00):
and we accidentally ordered the same appetizer. I'm never gonna
get over that. I don't care if we just met,
if we're sleeping together, if we're best friends, if you're
my child, I'm sitting at dinner with you, We're not
ordering the same thing. That's bizarre. And whenever I see
couples that get the same entre, like Valentine's Day and
(09:23):
they both got the same entre unless there are three
things on the menu, it's like a preface. I look
at them like, wow, you must really hate each other,
Like how are you not sharing the thing? And then
trying something else? I don't understand it. It was an accident.
Maybe the guy wasn't paying attention to what I ordered,
but he ordered the same thing as I did. What
are you fucking talking about? Like we could share it,
(09:43):
you could have half of mine, like or take a bite,
Like you're gonna order the same thing that means we're
getting like no sample size of this restaurant. Like there's
all this choice and we're both getting the same thing.
Like I'm okay, I'll sacrifice what I got. I'll get
some something less desirable to me to not have what
you're having. I'll have what she's having that died with
(10:06):
Harry met Sally. No, you won't have what I'm having.
I fucking said at first, you're not getting it. Get
something else, figure it out. Absolutely not. You're a sociopath?
Are you crazy? What? I'll never go out with you again.
You got the same thing as I did. We didn't
even have a meeting about it. This is weird. This
will never work. It's either like this will never work
(10:29):
or I want a divorce. Like if someone after years
of being with me, ordered the same thing as I did,
I'd be like, wow, we are not in a good place.
And someone who I just met up being like, hey,
I like the whatever what were you thinking? What were
you thinking? What are you thinking? Britta and I we
have a meeting the way, what are you thinking? What
do you like? Okay? You make some deals? I like this,
(10:51):
you like that? What even if I'm with ten people?
I told you guys. On the Housewives, I was the
one who always ordered for everyone. What does everybody definitely want?
Let's throw that into the mix. So I want the
frying calin Mari, I want this, okay. So those are
definitely happening, you guys. Those are your ride or dies
and the rest are like, no, we don't. It's fine,
it's a flow. I'm like, okay, cool, it's a flow.
Same thing with Britain, Like what do we She's like, well,
I really want them iron that and it's a negotiation,
(11:13):
Like but okay. But then she's like, well, how did
I get this and you get that? And we split that?
Mmm okay, Like that's what I undered. That's a bit.
Let's like running a restaurant culinary business, like of idering.
So we can try more, we can blanket more of
the surface. Like here's how we'll go. We sit down.
She's like, oh, I like the Barada. I'm not feeling
barada the chops said. She's like, okay, all right, the
CHOP's out. I could do that, like it's a negotiation. Okay.
(11:35):
But now I got to get her back on the main.
So she's like, I'm not in the mood for scallops tonight.
She made that very clear a couple of times, like
I wanted the scalps badly, I'm not in the mood. Okay, fine,
then what do you want to do? What do you
want to do? What do you want to do? Fine?
You told me what you didn't want. Put something into
the table, put your chips up. What do you want?
(11:55):
So she's like, all right, but I would split the
steak of the roast chicken. But the roast chicken we
could eat it all. Like, I feel like we're not
getting resticken. I don't eat lamb at home, pork whatever.
The slice steak, I make it home, but not as much.
I'm like, all right, fine, fine, okay, no problem. She's like,
I really don't want the chili robbed. I'm like, okay,
no problem, we can get the regular steaks. Negotiation. What
about the sides? The sides spinach of the broccolini. I
(12:19):
could rather the broccoli, no problem. You know why because
I chose the salad and she didn't want this. Guy like,
it's a negotiation. Same thing with the dessert. Yeah, So
fucking sociopaths order like duplicate meals. I'd rather be home alone,
So this is a high class, unrelatable problem, but there'll
be something connected to it that you relate to, I believe.
So I'll go to restaurants where I know the owner,
or they want me to say something good about the
restaurant and review it well, or they know I'm a
(00:32):
public person, et cetera, and the restaurant, once we've already
ordered our food and we know what we're getting, then
sends over a bunch of things to try. This is
a problem. I'm going to explain why I can afford
to buy anything on the menu that I want, And
(00:55):
I choose what I want to eat, and Brennan and
I are out to dinner and we together decide what
we are going to get. Sometimes we're going to dinner
because we want the experience and we're full because like
we ate in the afternoon, but we're still out of
town and we want to go, or we had plans
to go, or whatever the reason is, so we go.
And this happened three times over our ASTHMI vacation. Again, unrelatable,
(01:17):
privileged content. But let me just I'm just this is
the show where I rant and I could have Hillary
Clinton and Matthew McConaughey on here and you guys don't
really give a ship. But if I ran to bat
tuna fish, it rates. So we go to restaurants while
we were away on our ski vacation, and the owner
will send things over. So the problem is one night
(01:38):
we went to a restaurant and we knew what we
wanted to get. We planned, we're going to get the salad,
We're going to share it. We got the octopus, we
got the steak. Okay, So then the restaurant, in an
effort to impress us, start sending over everything on the menu.
I'm busting out. I feel like guilty. The problem is,
now you're moving food around your plate. Now you're wasting food,
(01:59):
which gives me so much anxiety. So we had ordered
a slice steak to share. By the time a slice
steak came, we couldn't eat anymore. And so we had
gotten things that we didn't want, but we felt compelled
to eat them because they were sent over tar tar
like carpaccio, like raw beef carpote. That's a very specific thing.
My daughter doesn't want that. She's fourteen. She I mean,
that doesn't matter her age. She's weird things in caviar
(02:21):
blah blah blah, but she didn't want the carpaccio. I
didn't want the carpaccio either, because, frankly, I was eating
steak for dinner. I wasn't on like a fucking carnivore
caveman meet the Crudes diet. Like, we knew what we were doing.
So now we got the carpaccio and it's raw, and
Brinn's like, oh, she tried it, but we're whatever. We
know what we're doing, so we I had to take
(02:43):
a little bite and move it over, and then something
else came and what was the other then giant ravioli.
I don't want, Like, honestly, I'm not a food combiner,
but I don't need to be eating every single food
group in the same meal and then the dessert, Like
you have to try the dessert, and then we get
the dessert, and we don't like the dessert. It's not
the desert. We would have ordered your taket. So now
(03:03):
you give me a problem. Years ago, a boyfriend gave
me a spa trip to Canyon Ranch in the Berkshires,
but you had to use it during the next couple
of months, and it had to be used like between
a Monday and a Thursday. Like, now you've give me
a problem. Years ago, jay Z sean Carter because it
said the Carters gave me a truffle. It was in
a white like the small version of a Chinese soup container,
(03:27):
like the small clear one. Just a truffle and it
was on top of some white raw rice like I
guess it keeps it moist or hydrated or whatever. So
and I was before Thanksgiving. It was for Thanksgiving, like
happy Holidays from the Carters. And it was a truffle
and it was so freeing and it was amazing. But
we were going out of town. I'm like, no, I
don't have a chet. What am I doing with this truffle?
(03:48):
Like I'm going out of town? So it's like, am
I going to carry this truffle on the plane to
wherever I am bring it to? It's a fucking problem.
I got ninety nine problems, and a truffle ain't one,
but it is. It is. I got nice eighty nine problems,
into truffle is one. So then we went to another restaurant.
We ordered a steak. It was another night. It was
a couple of nights after we don't only eat steak.
(04:09):
But for whatever reason, this was this is another restaurant,
and we love the steaks. We got the steak, and
we got this salad and a similar situation, and then
we got this big pasta and it's like, what are
we all doing? What are we doing? Now? This pasta
is going to sit there. We took two bites. We
weren't in the mood for pasta because we can afford
to buy basta. It's one of the things I've worked
hard for at this restaurant. If we want any of
(04:30):
these items, if we wanted them, they were there on
the menu, we could eat them like we could have them.
We could have it. I could swing the seventeen dollars
for the pasta. We didn't want it, so now it
came one bite. It wasn't even we didn't want it.
So I was like what And we were paying for
the bill, So let's just do this. We're paying for
the bill. Give us you want to give us, somebody
give us a discount. Sometimes it happens too that another
(04:52):
table they want to send you a drink, but I
see that you're not drinking, right, What are we doing?
A drink is three dollars, like maybe it's seven dollars.
I don't know how much a drink is. We could
get our own drink, like now it's an obligation. This
table four tables away. They look over. Did they not
accept the drink? We didn't accept the drink because want
and a Why didn't accept the drink? Because I could
get my own drink And I'm not trying to be
(05:13):
me And it's just like you offered us a drink,
offer me like you know, a wallet, something like different,
like a makeup bag. I don't even need that. I
get those a lot too, but like offer something that
we like don't. When I buy someone a gift, it's
usually something that they don't already have or they wouldn't
buy themselves. So if you're sending me a gift in
(05:46):
the restaurant, it should be like here we sent over
and this is a smart thing. This is what restaurants do.
You want to kiss somebody's ass, give them a fifty
dollars gift card costs you nothing. They're gonna use it there,
so here and it makes you come back. So you
know what we see you've ordered, but the owners wanted
to give you a fifty dollars gift card towards next
time you're here, you'll fucking be You'll you'll have to go.
(06:09):
That's giving them a problem too, because you'll have to
go and change your whole vacation plans next year you
have to go back to this restaurant. But it's something
that feels like it's of value, right, or like we
have taken twenty five percent off of your bill. The
owners wanted to just thank you for coming. But I
don't need more food at a food restaurant where food
is available, Like if I'm in a cave stranded, yes,
(06:30):
send me over the pasta, I'd love it, or the
steak or the carpaccio or the tartar or the weirdest
thing on your menu. But if I'm in the very
restaurant that gave me the scroll in the book that
I get to read and order what I want, trust
and believe. If there's something else I want on here,
I'll get it. If there's a drink I want to get,
I'll get it. Now you're giving me an extra drink.
I have to order to be polite, go over, say
hello to you. Now I'm doing it. Appearance I don't
(06:51):
want it. I don't want it. I want it's like
anything else. I want the food for free, or I'll
choose what I want. I don't want these bizarre in betweens.
That's why I don't borrow. I don't borrow from designers,
because you know what. They send you something, you get
to wear it, you send it back. I feel like
a loser. Oh thank you. I'm so grubby and desperate
(07:13):
that you're sending something to my house. I'm gonna look
through it and I'm gonna wear it. I'm giving it back.
Absolutely not. You send something into this house, you never
see it again. Okay, you send it through the mail.
I could give it away, I could paint in it.
It's not coming back, So don't send me. I don't
want it. I don't want to borrow anything. I don't
want to borrow your man and I don't want to
borrow your dress. And I don't want to borrow your necklace.
(07:35):
I'm buying or I'm taking period. Give it, send it
over here. It is free game. Also, they send you
something over then you gotta get it altered. You altered
it to yourself. You're giving it back, double degrading. I
am not a borrower. Ask anyone, Ask anyone. I remember
Christian Siriano, they gave me a yellow dress. He said,
(07:56):
keep it. One time? One time did I borrow? I
mean from my oscar to the rent it because it
was last minute for an event that I didn't know
I was going to. But it's it's like that is
like that's as rare as an apocalypse, like that that
doesn't happen. So yeah, you say. And also a Cadillac
sends something into the driveway for me to look at it,
(08:17):
and I didn't even like that. You send and Bronco, Bronco,
I have multiple Broncos. Bronco wanted to send a car
for here for a month. What what do I get to, like,
have sex with your husband from and then give him back.
I don't want either of those things. I don't want
to Bronco. You send a Bronco on my driveway, I'm
keeping it. That's it. Don't send it. I don't even
want all this shit too. Let's talk about all the
(08:38):
shit in my house. It has become a situation where
I don't want to go out of town. I come home.
Is all the shit? How do they have my address?
Because the same pr companies are sending it, and I've
sent to them all. I don't want it. I don't
want it. If I want it, I'll tell you I
want I don't want it. I don't want any of
the shit. So I went out one night with someone
(09:00):
and we accidentally ordered the same appetizer. I'm never gonna
get over that. I don't care if we just met,
if we're sleeping together, if we're best friends, if you're
my child, I'm sitting at dinner with you, We're not
ordering the same thing. That's bizarre. And whenever I see
couples that get the same entre, like Valentine's Day and
(09:23):
they both got the same entre unless there are three
things on the menu, it's like a preface. I look
at them like, wow, you must really hate each other,
Like how are you not sharing the thing? And then
trying something else? I don't understand it. It was an accident.
Maybe the guy wasn't paying attention to what I ordered,
but he ordered the same thing as I did. What
are you fucking talking about? Like we could share it,
(09:43):
you could have half of mine, like or take a bite,
Like you're gonna order the same thing that means we're
getting like no sample size of this restaurant. Like there's
all this choice and we're both getting the same thing.
Like I'm okay, I'll sacrifice what I got. I'll get
some something less desirable to me to not have what
you're having. I'll have what she's having that died with
(10:06):
Harry met Sally. No, you won't have what I'm having.
I fucking said at first, you're not getting it. Get
something else, figure it out. Absolutely not. You're a sociopath?
Are you crazy? What? I'll never go out with you again.
You got the same thing as I did. We didn't
even have a meeting about it. This is weird. This
will never work. It's either like this will never work
(10:29):
or I want a divorce. Like if someone after years
of being with me, ordered the same thing as I did,
I'd be like, wow, we are not in a good place.
And someone who I just met up being like, hey,
I like the whatever what were you thinking? What were
you thinking? What are you thinking? Britta and I we
have a meeting the way, what are you thinking? What
do you like? Okay? You make some deals? I like this,
(10:51):
you like that? What even if I'm with ten people?
I told you guys. On the Housewives, I was the
one who always ordered for everyone. What does everybody definitely want?
Let's throw that into the mix. So I want the
frying calin Mari, I want this, okay. So those are
definitely happening, you guys. Those are your ride or dies
and the rest are like, no, we don't. It's fine,
it's a flow. I'm like, okay, cool, it's a flow.
Same thing with Britain, Like what do we She's like, well,
I really want them iron that and it's a negotiation,
(11:13):
Like but okay. But then she's like, well, how did
I get this and you get that? And we split that?
Mmm okay, Like that's what I undered. That's a bit.
Let's like running a restaurant culinary business, like of idering.
So we can try more, we can blanket more of
the surface. Like here's how we'll go. We sit down.
She's like, oh, I like the Barada. I'm not feeling
barada the chops said. She's like, okay, all right, the
CHOP's out. I could do that, like it's a negotiation. Okay.
(11:35):
But now I got to get her back on the main.
So she's like, I'm not in the mood for scallops tonight.
She made that very clear a couple of times, like
I wanted the scalps badly, I'm not in the mood. Okay, fine,
then what do you want to do? What do you
want to do? What do you want to do? Fine?
You told me what you didn't want. Put something into
the table, put your chips up. What do you want?
(11:55):
So she's like, all right, but I would split the
steak of the roast chicken. But the roast chicken we
could eat it all. Like, I feel like we're not
getting resticken. I don't eat lamb at home, pork whatever.
The slice steak, I make it home, but not as much.
I'm like, all right, fine, fine, okay, no problem. She's like,
I really don't want the chili robbed. I'm like, okay,
no problem, we can get the regular steaks. Negotiation. What
about the sides? The sides spinach of the broccolini. I
(12:19):
could rather the broccoli, no problem. You know why because
I chose the salad and she didn't want this. Guy like,
it's a negotiation. Same thing with the dessert. Yeah, So
fucking sociopaths order like duplicate meals. I'd rather be home alone,
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