Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Good evening and welcome to Turning Point.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Tonight.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
We're together. We are charting the course of America's cultural comeback.
My name is Joe Bob. Thanks so much for tuning
in today. We have a fantastic treat as we've been
saying for weeks upon and the Young Women's Leadership Summit,
Turning Points Flagship Women's program happened over the weekend. Program
summit happened over the weekend, and we've got fantastic speeches
from both Charlie Kirk and Erica Kirk.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Watch and enjoy.
Speaker 4 (00:48):
Thank you everybody. How great is Erica by the way,
that's not easy to do. I'll tell you what. It's amazing.
She is a out of a mom and doing we're
working on Bible in three sixty five and proclaimed streetwear.
And then she gives an amazing address like that, and
so so many friends here. You know, this is our
(01:10):
tenth annual Young Women's Leadership somemit. We've been doing this
for ten years real women only, because there's only such
thing as real women. I want to say a special
thank you to our friend here, Karen Dudleston from the
Dudlson Foundation. They've been so generously supporting us for years,
So thank you about you. None of this would be possible.
(01:32):
And so we're just gonna chat for a second here,
and then we want to open it up for questions
from you, which is the most fun but no political question.
I'll be here back, I'll be back here tomorrow. We
can do that if you want to talk about all
that fun stuff. Literally, just want questions for both of
us about relationships and raising kids and getting married and
all that stuff that you might have questions about. That's
(01:54):
what we want to focus this Q and A on.
So Eric, a great job again. I love you. I
love you too, babies and so a lot of these
young ladies have competing pressures right now. Okay, some might
even have parents that are like, hey, you got to
get a job, you got to build your career, you
got to build money. Marriage can come later. Marriage can
(02:14):
come later. However, some ladies might be getting different advice
from this conference or from even inside. They say, boy,
I might want to get married sooner rather than later.
How do they balance that in a godly and biblical way.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
That's hard because usually those voices are coming from your parents.
I mean they were for me and so it's hard
because you're in that in between of honoring your parents
but also knowing that there's a conviction in your heart.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
To have a family.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
If you want, you can literally write down what your career,
what you want that to look like, on a piece
of paper, put in an envelope, go pursue. If you
find the right guy. That's ninety percent of the problem
is find it the right finding the right person first,
then building your life. And once you do find the
right person and your family loves them, your parents are
(03:08):
going to be way more understanding and into the fact
of you having a family.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I think that's ninety percent of that.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
So let me ask you raise your hand. If you
had to choose between amazing career amazing family, you have
to choose who here would choose amazing career.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
That's fine if you do, please, like seriously, please raise
your hand.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
There's a couple of hands amazing family. Although their hands
got it okay. So for everyone that rowse at the
hand of amazing family, how many of you every single
day it's your purpose for being is finding a husband,
then every hand should then go up. But I thought
you said you want an amazing family. You have to
(03:45):
prioritize and aim at what you want the most. I
might be the only speaker that says this in these
next couple of days.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
You just have to make sure that you find the.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Right you know, I know you have to prioritize it.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
I know. But you can't be like you can't be
like a heat seeking missile where you're like you see
a guy in the back room and you're like, hi,
Like you can't you there's like some new Once I
get what you're saying, I understand his sentiment.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
If you are if you're not married by the age
of thirty, you only have a fifty percent chance of
getting married, and if you don't have kids by the
age of thirty, of a fifty percent chance of not
having kids. You should know that. Now, I'm not telling
you anything that is that provocative. It's just the data. Right,
having children our gift from the Lord, and unfortunately our
culture deemphasizes it. And again, you get what you aim at,
(04:36):
you get what you prioritize, and so yeah, I just
it's interesting because every hand accept a couple. And that's
what I'm not even saying which answer is right or wrong.
It's just if that matters more for you, then everything
you do on a daily basis should point towards that.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
To add on to that, for the women who are
getting married after thirty, that's okay. I'm trying to bridge
the gap here because it is okay. It's not ideal,
it's not probably the best statistical odd position for you,
but it's but God is.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Good and nothing. There's nothing wrong with it. Right, it's right,
I find.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
No, it's good. This is good.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
If you just want happy talk that that's fine.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
So how do you.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Tell young ladies to navigate the pressures of hookup culture
on a college campus where they feel pressured that if
they don't get into let's just say, sexual situations with
a male counterpart, then they will not be able to
find a boyfriend or a husband.
Speaker 5 (05:47):
He's not meant to be with you like honor. He
needs to honor your purity. Save it for your husband,
that's simple.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Save it to your husband.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Talk more about how they should go about doing that,
because the pressures are so enormous. From free contraceptives to
the podcast they listen to, how many of you feel
as if it's very difficult to maintain your purity on
a college campus. Raise your hand. Okay, not Actually it's
less than I thought, so it's easy. Good, No, I
guess it's fine. How many how many people would you
(06:22):
what percentage of young ladies by the time they graduate
college do you think still are virgins? Less than twenty
five percent? So it's not that easy. Okay, that's interesting. No,
I just think I'm just trying to process it because
I don't think the church talks enough about purity, right.
(06:44):
I think it's it's incredibly important, and we should tell
young men and young ladies to save themselves from marriage.
It's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Right.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
No, I agree, because a lot of people will say, well,
how do I know that I'm compatible with that person?
And nless I test drive the car before I buy it.
That's not a real thing. Don't listen to that lie,
because when you make that covenant with the Lord on
that altar, don't let that fire burn out from the altar.
(07:15):
That that love is so special and so powerful. You
will have natural chemistry within that marriage. It's not like
you're marrying a robot like you're You married your soulmate,
You married the person who God made for you.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
You're going to be compatible. You can you should know that.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
So then the question that a lot of young ladies have,
but how do you know? How do you know this
person is right? And second question, if these young ladies
have a liberal boyfriend, sure should should? Should they dump them?
Speaker 5 (07:59):
How many of you have a liberal boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (08:01):
You have a liberal boyfriend, don't bow her, pray for her.
I'm gonna tell you can't change them. I'll tell her
right now, you can't change No, You're great, you know.
But so how how does a young lady know? And
is it ever too early to get married? If they're
(08:24):
twenty two and they feel as if they found the
right guy, is that too early?
Speaker 5 (08:28):
I well, if you're either way, whether you're younger, whatever
age you are, I think going through I know it
has a stigma, but premarital is amazing. You get to
learn so much about the person you're with. And I
have seen it prevent marriages that should not be happening
because they are so young and naive with things, and
they're so lustful because they haven't gone down the road
(08:51):
of having you know, they're saving themselves, so they're just
like salivating. Go to premarital you'll learn a lot when
you know he's the one. Here's an example when Charlie
sat across from me and he said, I want to
date you. You want to be with someone who has every
intention to not mess with your heart. You're gonna know,
(09:13):
I know it sounds cliche, but you will know he's
not gonna He's not going to treat.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
You like an option.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
How what advice would you give to young ladies where
they are much more more motivated than their boyfriend. How
many of you have this problem? Raise your hand, Oh
that's tough, it's a big I think it's a big problem.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Now I think that they you should both be motivated.
But if the if the woman is much more motivated
than the man, would you agree that ends up causing structurally.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
Right, because that because the man then ends up leaving
his pants on the ground and the woman has to
put them on, and so then she becomes the bread
winner because then the husband's just chill and is like,
I'm fine with, you know, not going any further than
the level that I'm at, while the woman is aspiring
to be more, more and more and more. So then
you become uneven and unequally yoked in your relationship or
(10:05):
marriage and that's just a recipe.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
For me, it becomes disordered. And there wasn't a ton of hands,
but there were enough where it's a noticeable issue. And
I find it from the young male perspective that there's
a whole longer speech I could give about the problems
with male masculinity. How many of you think that the
(10:29):
current dating pool of young men is not great? Raise
your hand? Okay, so no, no, this is very important.
Every hand went up. This is very important. What if
I told you if every hand of young men think
that the dating pool of young women is not great?
So who's right?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (10:47):
You guys are right? Okay, okay. I encourage you all
to have a little more humility about them. What is
one thing young women can do better to make themselves
more appealing to men who say that the current dating
(11:08):
pool of young women is lackluster? I ask good questions you. Yes,
I do this for a lot.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
That's why he has such a good podcast and radio show,
The Charlie Kirkshaw.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
You guys liking these questions.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
You know, this might be so simple, but people pick
up on the way you speak. I'm not talking about
you know, if you sound smart or whatever. I'm saying,
they will pick up if you curse, they will pick
up if you're speaking life over someone. Men hate when
women are gossiping. Literally, the fire behind your lips is
(11:46):
so powerful. And if you can find a way to
harness your tongue in a way that's biblical, and you
dress appropriately, you don't have everything hanging out you, you
will attract.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
A different type of guy.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
Now, if you're going to the club or wherever you're
going and you're trying to appease a guy that is,
are you going to bring them to your mom? Are
you going to bring them to your grandparents? Like? Really,
just be the type of woman, the godly woman that
God needs you to be to attract the man that
He made for you.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
That's what you need to be.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
What young young men have serious problems. We're working on
fixing that right. And it's easy to laugh, but you
need young men. You do and understand that young men
are in a far sicker position right now than young
ladies are. They're committing suicide more, they're checking out a society,
they are on more anti they're on a lot of
there's a lot of issues, and it's easy to kind
(12:49):
of make fun of young men. But a society needs
strong men, and we need husbands, and we need fathers,
and everyone in this room should be part of that
project of making men strong against everyone. And so let
me first say what young young men need to embrace.
How many of you would agree that self control is
an attractive quality that's hard to find in men. Every man,
(13:12):
every hand goes out great. I totally. I say this
to young men all the time that a young lady
cares more that if you can control your impulses and
control your desires, because that is a signal of what maturity,
not of infancy. Self control is a signal of maturity,
and a young lady, whether she can articulate it or not,
(13:33):
when she sees maturity in a man, she knows that
when there's chaos, that man will be able to navigate
the family, the relationship through that kind of environment. Young
ladies need to be willing to submit to a godly
man when you meet one. And if you're not willing
to do that, then you've got to pray about that.
Because a lot of young men in the dating pool say,
(13:56):
I don't want to be bossed around all the time.
I'm just telling you what I hear from men all
the time. I'm the hyper toxic feminism is very, very
off putting to young men. And I know this is
contrary to what a lot of people here on college campuses.
You know, you have to assert your dominance, you have
to kind of call your shot. That's fine. However, an
attitude in the dating pool is that it can be
(14:18):
very off putting to young men that are already put
down so much in our society. They're called toxically masculine,
they're called you know, who needs men, the patriarchy, and
so then they just largely disengage, or they do even
a worse thing, which is they get involved, like I'm
just going to sleep with a bunch of women. We're
not going to marry them. Right. The problem is on
both sides in my personal opinion, and again I think
(14:41):
that Erica hit it perfectly. Last thing I'll say and
then we'll do some questions, is men want what they
cannot have. Men will do anything to solve the problem
of scarcity anything. And if men can get you quite easily,
that's not an attractive quality to be able to have
(15:03):
a man go on a journey with you. I'm just
being very very honest with you. And there is one
thing that men want more than anything else, and it's
not bitcoin you know what it is. And as women
have not been saving themselves for marriage and men too,
in the last thirty or forty years, we've seen marriage
rates collapse. There is a one to one correlation on
(15:25):
those two things. And so all that to say that,
young late everybody in this room, you have more power
than I think you could ever imagine. If everybody in
this room collectively said that we are only going to
save ourselves for our future husbands, men will grow up
in a way that you would never imagine. You can't believe,
(15:46):
because all of a sudden they be like, because you understand,
hookup culture has given men everything they've always wanted. They
don't have to work for sex, they don't have to
grow up, they don't have to do anything. And then
women will just throw themselves at them and they could
stay as grown infant for the rest of their life.
And unfortunately does a lot of damage to young ladies
a lot. It does a lot of psychological damage and
(16:06):
a lot of spiritual damage. So if everyone here basically
said nope, we're gonna combine our power and be pure
and trust in Jesus and in God for our future husband.
You would be shocked at how much the dating pool improves. Okay,
I want to tell you about one thing and then
we'll do a question line. We have a spec who
would love to meet Erica Riley Gains and get a
(16:29):
picture of me. I'm sure that that would be a
lot of fun, right all right, So we have a
special giveaway. If you guys follow the QR codes on
our screen, subscribe to the podcast, and then email at
Freedom at Charliekirk dot com. We'll pick ten winners, but
you have to follow the QR code in the next
couple minutes. So follow that QR code, subscribe and email
(16:49):
us proof of subscription Freedom at Charliekirk dot com. You
know it's awesome. Women are much better rule followers than men,
so I know that all of you are going to
get that right. No, it's true men. If you guys,
one of the most important things that I can leave
you with before we go to questions, if you want
to find your future soulmate, you must desire to humbly
(17:12):
know male nature. How many people here think you know
male nature? Anybody? Only if you are married. Do you
can you raise your hand? Yeah, okay. Male nature is
easier to make fun of, but a lot deeper than
you realize. Raise your hand. Do you think that men
(17:35):
are better at let me put it this way, Raise
your hand. If you think that men are better at
micro tech tasks than women, details anybody? Okay, couple hands,
Raise your hand. If you think that men are better
at macro tasks than women, raise your hand. Okay, you're right,
it's not even close. Okay, macro. When two if two
(17:57):
people are talking on a college campus, and I told
you they were talking about sports, they were talking about
the stock market or politics, is it more likely to
be a man two men or two women two men?
If I tell you that two people on a college
campus are talking about their relationships, the conversations they had
earlier in the day, and what fellow classmates were wearing,
(18:21):
is it two men or two women micro versus macro.
You must understand that a man might forget to shower
for three days because he's too worried that we're going
to go to a nuclear worthroon. Men are obsessed with
the macro, and they often forget the micro. This is
(18:42):
why corporations want to hire you so badly. Understand this
because you are incredibly good at micro tasks. That is
why young women have been so well paid in the
corporate environment, because when it comes to getting details done,
women are much better than men. No male nature, and
you'll be in a much better chance to find your
future husband. Okay, we'll start, uh right, there is that? Okay, Hi,
(19:03):
what's your name?
Speaker 6 (19:04):
My name is Carisa, Charlie and Erica. Thank you for
saying yes and being obedient to what God has for you,
and it's really shaped my life and everyone else here.
I would love to know your thoughts on Sabbath and
how practically your family practices this and applies it.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
I will let him, but as the wife, I will
say I have seen it transform I'm I already. I
love my husband and he's amazing and an intentional father
and husband, But him honoring the Sabbath, I have seen
it transform him in a way that is so powerful
that when he turns his phone off and it goes
(19:46):
in that drawer and he and I know that it's
you know, he's all on for the family. There is
no distractions, and he finally gets to reset his brain
he finally gets to breathe. And as a wife, there
is nothing more precious than my husband's sanity when it
comes to the Echo chamber and everything that he's dealing
(20:08):
with in his world. So I have seen it change
him and impact our family in one of the most
beautiful ways.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
But I want him to well, thank you. And we're
very serious Sabbath keepers. This would be an exception because
we're here with all of you, but we'll do it
on Sunday. We actually take the traditional Jewish Sabbath. If
you don't want to do that, I'm not here to
debate you on it. It's fine. If you want to
do it privately, I'll beat you. But that's a whole
separate issue. But it's fine. It doesn't It actually doesn't
matter that much. What does matter is I think that
(20:35):
to our own detriment and to our own failure, we
as Christians have decided to cast away resting on one
of the seven days, God rests that after creation, that
comes before the Hebrews, it comes even before the creation
of the of the of the modern world and civilization
as we know it, and so we honor the Sabbath.
We're very serious about it. We get to spend more
(20:57):
time with our family. We do no news, we do
no work. And it says very very clearly in the
scriptures for six days you shall work, and the seventh
day you shall rest. If you are feeling overrun by society,
you might be feeling depressed or anxious, here's this one
way that you might be able to improve. Turn your
phone off for one day, no contact, no social media,
(21:18):
no work. Your mental health will improve dramatically. You can
hang out with friends, you can go for a walk,
but don't work for one day. That is a day
for worship. That is a day for the Lord. That
is a day to go be with God. That is
a day to read your Bible and be out of
the busyness and the hurry, hurriedness and the that is
the anger and the noise of this world. Go back
(21:41):
to God's natural rhythm. And it's made our family much
tighter knit. And I could be traveling for five or
six days, but if I at least get one good
sab with my family, it charges all back up. So God,
bless you, Thank you so much, and shabat shalam tonight.
Speaker 7 (21:55):
Ah Hi Charlie and Erica. My name's Savannah. This is
lyla Esther and we have another one on the way
in January. So I did find my godly man and
we are making more babies. My question for you is,
(22:15):
we want to have a lot of kids, and I'm
wondering what your best advice is for young couples with
small children on how to prioritize and nurture their marriage
amiss the busy day to day life of kids.
Speaker 5 (22:29):
That's a very good question because your marriage came first,
and your husband is very important. Because your kids, you're
raising them to fly, You're raising them to leave the nest.
They'll always come back. And once they do. I think
that's why people get empty nest syndrome, because they look
at their husband in an empty living room and they're like,
who are you? I have to relearn you. You want
(22:49):
to grow with your husband. That is going to be
very acrobatic at times, even if that means locking yourself
in a closet with your husband for just an hour
to say, can I breathe with you? Can I just
five minutes? Can I just have a second to look
at you. Something that Charlie does that's really sweet that
I love is that sometimes, especially when he's traveling. We
(23:10):
don't obviously we figure out the dynamic of at least
having a date night at least once a month at least,
but there will be moments where he's literally about to
rush out the door and I won't see him for
several days. Kids are wreaking havoc in the kitchen, pulling
things out all over, and he just grabs me and
he's like one minute, and we just literally stare at
each other for a minute and say like, I love you,
(23:31):
whatever you need to say, but you just we have
that one minute together to reset our hearts. And honestly,
that is something that helps recharge the bucket until you
get that date night. So just being really intentional about
little moments that will build into a greater good for
the relationship.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
But I know you I agree with all that. Just
prioritize obviously your marriage actually comes before your kids. I
know that's a provocative thing to say, but it's true.
Your relationship with your kids is important, yes, but it's
not covenantal rights. Your marriage is a covenant. Your relationship
with your kids is an outgrowth of a covenant. They're
(24:09):
under your stewardship, but covenantal relationships are ones that we
saw with Abraham and David and Israel and of course Jesus.
That idea of marriage being a covenant is a big,
big deal. In fact, only marriage in the Bible is
compared to Christ's relationship with the church. To always prioritize
(24:31):
your marriage. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Yes, Hi.
Speaker 8 (24:34):
My name is Lindsay Cameron. I'm eighteen years old and
I was homeschool and I just graduated high school. And
with graduating high school comes the question of so what
are you going to do? And to be honest, in
my career, like I want to be a mom and
I want to have kids, and I want to homeschool
them and I want to stay at home with them,
and that's just not a really acceptable answer. And I'm
(24:55):
struggling to really know what i want to do in
the meantime while I'm waiting to get married and how kids,
because I'm not dating and I don't see anybody that
I really want to date, and so I'm just I'm in.
And I have a lot of friends who are in
the same position too of being in this weird waiting
period where I don't want to go to college and
I don't want to commit to a career that I
know that I'm going to abandon once I have kids.
(25:18):
So I was just wondering if you'll had any advice
for that, and if you had any advice with dealing
with criticism, because I'm having some from the extended family.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
What I know, we.
Speaker 5 (25:29):
Talked about don't follow your don't follow your heart and
all that.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
Don't follow your heart. It's a bad idea. I don't
do that. You laugh, but the Bible is very clear.
The heart is wicked. Yeah, do not follow your heart.
Your talents, right, Yes, that's correct. Yeah. I mean, so look,
what are you good at?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
What are you talented at? I love people.
Speaker 8 (25:47):
I love talking to people all the time, and honestly,
turning Point USA, like Alex Clark has really shaped my life.
I got really into culture of Pothecario.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
It's kind of change my life.
Speaker 8 (25:57):
And I mean, I would love to get involved in
health and wellness, but I feel like there's not a
really clear path for a career in that. I feel
like most people just kind of happen to fall into
it because of life circumstances, and I don't really know
where to start for that.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
You'd be surprised, I mean, like, so I could give
you a million ideas, but the first thing is you're
already thinking about this correctly, which is your aim. You
got your aim right, which is important. And by the way,
if your aim is career, I'm not saying that's bad.
At least you are clear. Don't confuse yourself of your aim.
We are aiming creatures. We need something to point at.
I mean, look, there's a million things you could do.
(26:30):
You could work at a mobile IV clinic right as
an administrator, Like, there's a lot of stuff you could
do in that kind of Maha space. I would are
you from Texas, I'm guessing yeah, I'm from here. Okay, yeah, great,
And Dallas actually has a huge infrastructure of like new
Maha small businesses. You could work at those kind of
around that kind of genre and that outreach. I will
(26:51):
say though, that don't if you find your future husband
and he is godly and it passes premarital counseling, which
Eric is exactly right. Uh, do not appease extended family.
You only really have one thing to worry about, which
is the fear of the Lord. Right now, let me
just can we riff on premarital counseling for a second.
It's very, very important and it shouldn't get a bad taboo.
(27:15):
If you are anybody currently engaged right now, I'm sure
there's some Okay, awesome, Praise the Lord. It's amazing. Aren't
you from Canada or something? Yeah? I remember you. You
found a husband. We'll talk in a second. We'll talk
in a second. I remember. That's great. I hope you
did not find your partner here at y WLS. I
(27:35):
hope you. I'm kidding. So no, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. So at SaaS right. So primaral counseling. Who's
going to control the finances? Who's gonna wake up in
the middle of the night if the kid has an issue?
Are you gonna have kids? How many kids are you
going to raise the kids? Protestant or Catholic? Are you
going to read the Bible? Are you Here's a good
(27:56):
question in premarital counseling that most won't ask, and you
got this will save you a lot of problems. Are
you a open or closed house? Who here grew up
in an open house where all the kids would come
by in the neighborhood. You know what I'm talking about, right,
how many of you was raised in a closed house
where your parents are Okay, that's important, though, has anyone
(28:18):
ever told you when you look in a spouse to
ask that question where you raised in an open or
closed house? It's incredibly important because all of a sudden,
if you raise you if you marry an open house person.
This was not an issue for us, thankfully at all,
but I've seen it destroy marriages, and they've recovered some
not an open house person marries a closed house person,
they get married, they're inviting all their friends over all
(28:40):
the time, barbecue open up. The closed house person is like,
this is crazy. I wasn't raised like this, and none
of that gets filtered in the engagement. That's one of
like a hundred questions that that would be a good book.
We could write one hundred questions you should ask before
you get married, right, that would be a good book.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Go ahead, No, no, no, I was just saying the
homeless sacred.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
I could go on, but that's like you just have
to what premarital counseling should do, which it does a
bad job of in most churches, is you must really
know the nature of your spouse introvert extrovert? What is
their love language? Right? Do they need time alone? Do
they get filled up when you spend time with them
or when they come home and they're beat down and
(29:25):
they need time alone. Here's a good one that almost
no pastor will ever tell you. What is a vice
that your spouse struggles with and what is an acceptable
vice and an unacceptable vice. So, for example, an acceptable
vice might be that you'll allow alcohol. We don't drink, right,
so that for us. I'm not saying you have to
do that, but for us, that's what works. So it's
not even a question. Some men like cigars. I think
(29:48):
they smell like, you know, dead raccoons, But that's fine.
Are you willing to smell a cigar? Have you ever
smelled a cigar? Will your house be able to withstand
cigar smoke inside your laugh thing? This is the stuff
that breaks apart marriages. This is the stuff that creates isolation,
and it must be flushed out in the engagement period,
(30:08):
not in the honeymoon period or two years in. And
so other vices, which is like, you know, we're not
gonna watch R rated movies or we're not gonna swear
you'd be amazed at how many marriages all of a sudden,
you know, the husband's just drop an F bomb. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, Like,
we don't do that around here. You see this, who's
gonna cook?
Speaker 9 (30:28):
Right?
Speaker 4 (30:29):
What does it mean to take time off? Here's another one.
What type of vacations are you guys gonna take? This
is very important?
Speaker 10 (30:37):
Right?
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Hey, so you're getting married?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Yes, amazing.
Speaker 11 (30:45):
So, speaking of which, I have a winning planning question.
I know that this sounds a bit weird. So essentially,
I am facing visa visa delays. How do I deal
with the disappointment and the feeling of sadness of having
to plan for a peak winter wedding in the state
(31:07):
of Wisconsin.
Speaker 4 (31:11):
Wait, so, okay, is it a visa question or is it?
Speaker 11 (31:14):
It's so basically because of the visa delays, which is
beyond anyone's beyond pretty much anyone's control, how do I
plan for? Okay, I am going to have a wedding
in the peak winter when there's no outside, when when
it's really really cold, like, and I'm feeling disappointed and
(31:35):
sad about it.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
You shouldn't.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
The winter is actually really beautiful. There's something really, I
know it's cold, you can figure out the outfit. You
can wear a really beautiful shawl over yourself. There's way
more options for winter attire.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Than the typical think of it.
Speaker 5 (31:53):
This way, your wedding is going to be amazing because
you're not having to have.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
The florals and the bunch money.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
You'll save a.
Speaker 5 (32:00):
Ton of moneyscon. Yes, you'll get a killer deal. But
there's something special about the winter season.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
There really is.
Speaker 5 (32:10):
And because what comes after winter spring Metaphorically you are
springing into a new season of life. You're springing into
a beautiful marriage. Embrace the snow, Embrace the beauty of it.
It might not be ideally what you want, and that's
that's okay, because God's challenging you to release that the
(32:30):
wedding day is a wedding day. It's really not for you.
It's for your family. It's important on the altar that
is for you. But I'm talking about the party. It's
really not for you. It's to entertain everyone else. So
just hold true to the fact that what matters the most,
regardless of the season, is the man and the woman
standing at the altar and that covenant you're making it
(32:52):
could be raining, it could be snowing, it could be
one hundred and some degrees like our wedding. That didn't
stop us. What's so important is is that marriage and
that because when you guys get married, that's your family.
Your husband's your family, everyone else's relatives, that's your husband.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Congratulations, And I want to use you as an example.
What's your name again, Vicki? And that was last year
when you gave the question two years ago, so that was.
Speaker 11 (33:19):
In twenty twenty four, So that was last year.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
So Vicky came up last year and said, how do
I meet a husband? And she made her priority and
a year later she's engaged. How awesome, Thank you very much,
we got thank you, thank you. Next question, Yes, hi.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Erica, Charlie.
Speaker 9 (33:35):
I'm Melissa, and my question is I'm twenty and I'm
single and I want to get married young. However, every
almost every woman in my life is telling me that
I'm not missing out anything. Do you have any response to.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
That the women that are married.
Speaker 11 (33:47):
Yes, well, that's so sad, so sad.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
That's really sad.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
What I mean as far as like having kids or
the relationship or just.
Speaker 9 (33:58):
Like getting married young. Because when I tell people like
my parents are really supportive about it. But when I
tell other people, like in church, like outside of church,
I won't get any young.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
They look down on me.
Speaker 9 (34:09):
Like why they like they tell me to, you know,
get go to college, to get a career. So like,
what is like a good response to that?
Speaker 2 (34:16):
And like what should I be doing?
Speaker 9 (34:17):
Because I don't I don't feel like I'm missing out,
but I'm not sure, Like what I should be doing?
Speaker 4 (34:21):
What church do you go to? I must have missed
it in Matthew, which is go forth and become a
CEO of a shoe company. You'd be fruitful and multiply,
Like I mean, first of all, you are hitting a
very fundamental and precious point. I've said for a long time,
we as Christians have done a crappy job of glorifying
(34:43):
and celebrating marriage.
Speaker 5 (34:45):
It.
Speaker 4 (34:45):
In fact, when we first got married, I heard almost
more negatives than positives, like oh, you're gonna be have
your handcuffs or oh, marriage is the most awesome thing ever. Everybody,
it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
And I think.
Speaker 5 (35:00):
It's because they didn't have good examples to look towards themselves,
so they either settled or they're not happy because either
something in their life they didn't settle and get fixed
prior to getting marriage. They're unequally yoked. It's sad, but honestly,
I feel like it's like I talked about, that's a
form of spiritual warfare, Like the enemies will use anybody
(35:22):
to keep you from where God needs you to be.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
So smile and wave.
Speaker 5 (35:29):
Just feel like, I'm so sorry that happened to you.
It's not gonna happen to me. And you just you
say I'll be praying for you. I mean, marriage is beautiful,
don't let that deter you. It's another thing too. I'd
like motherhood's the same thing. There are so many Christian
moms who will get on social media and they'll say
I'm so tired, I need wine. My child's driving me nuts.
(35:50):
Like no, no, motherhood is beautiful. It's exhausting, but it's beautiful.
And it's not gonna be those sleepless nights. Yeah, one day,
your kid's probably not gonna go home until midnight, So
the sleepless nights gets like a little bit construed. But
you will sleep again, you will have you know your
(36:12):
time again. But I feel so bad for the women
not being able to have people to look towards for
marriage and motherhood because they've just a complaining about it mostly,
which is sad.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Great question. We have time for about two or three
more if we go quick. Really, I have to do
this before I forget who here knows. Nobody in the
room raise your hand anybody?
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Oh that's cool, all.
Speaker 4 (36:35):
Right for those of you that knowpe keep your hands up.
Keep your hands up.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
I like that.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
Everybody around the people raising your hands. Now you have
to introduce yourself and then we fix that problem. No, seriously,
go do that right now and say where you're from.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
That's sweet.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
Let's sweet, and now you have friends, You're welcomed. That's
what the Young Women's Leadership something at all about. How
great is that? It's next question?
Speaker 12 (37:07):
Hi, mister Kirk. My name is Naveah. I'm eighteen years
old and I was homeschooled my whole life and just
graduated last year, thank you. So right now I'm in
that period of my life where I'm trying to establish myself.
So I've been working for myself online as a YouTuber
and a podcaster from the time I was fifteen, and
(37:30):
I'm actually trying to work for you right now. So
that's what I've been focusing on. But I do have
a really strong desire as a Christian to eventually get
married and have children, and I want to homeschool my
kids as well eventually. So I'm wondering what your advice
is for balancing those two desires and what to prioritize
at what stage in your life. Since women can't have.
Speaker 5 (37:49):
It all, women care they can have it all, but
it's not simultaneously like different seasons. Your career again, like
I said, is not going anywhere. So what you're establishing
now on YouTube and your platform and all that stuff,
(38:09):
it's not going anywhere.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
What I will recommend though.
Speaker 5 (38:12):
Is when you do have children, do not use your
children as ponds for a discount code.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Do not use your.
Speaker 5 (38:18):
Child for a free stroller for some influencer thing. Your
children are sacred. Protect them.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
That is your role as a mother.
Speaker 5 (38:29):
Your platform was given to you by God, so stewart
it well and Stuart properly. But it's not going to
go anywhere. What you're building now is not going to
get destroyed. I think that's what a lot of people
get misconstrued is thinking like, Okay, what I'm building now
is going to be worthless once I have a family. No,
God will redirect it. He'll turn it into whatever it
needs to turn into. Pray on it because it's not
always super clear, but it will come to you. And
(38:51):
I think that, yes, every season is going to come
and have its own time and turn. But if this
is what you're focusing on right now, like that's what
you're focusing on.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
I mean, I don't.
Speaker 4 (39:05):
I think you're in a great spot, honestly, And Erica
answered it beautifully. So again, if you you have to
always prioritize what you what matters most, and with that,
the Lord will open up the right doors. Thank you.
All right, let's see how quick this one is. This
might be the last question.
Speaker 10 (39:21):
Yes, okay, Hi guys, my name is Lily. So one
thing is a piece of advice I'd love. The other
is a question whichever one you guys have time for. So,
first of all, with gentle parenting and then you have
like abusive homes, what is the balance of biblical discipline
and love? And also I would love advice for if
you know you have a godly guy in your life.
(39:41):
You guys agree on a lot of things spiritually and politically,
but you still feel like there's a little bit more
maturity that needs to go. How do you wait on
the Lord and how do you go about that.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
I'll take the second one.
Speaker 5 (39:54):
That's say, I'll take the first one too, but I
want to hear.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
I mean it's powerfully hear. Father.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
The most important thing is a is that you must
instill self control and not self esteem for your kid.
Whatever it takes, you must have them understand the power
of restraint, which is a fruit of the spirit. Remember,
self control is a fruit of the spirit. That's much
easier said than done. Right, I could tell you more
(40:19):
about what not to do and what we're not doing
them what we're doing, because we're still figuring it out,
but we know what not to do. It is a
It is a civilizational tragedy. When Eric and I go
out with our two kids to eat and we go
look at another family and everyone has their eyes on
a screen, I just it is so beyond I don't
(40:39):
want to sound judgmental. Maybe they had like a long
day at work or something. I really find no excuse
whatsoever because these kids put on these headphones and they
just escape reality staring at these screens all day long
and it's really really bad everybody, and it's totally unnecessary.
We have a very hyperactive two year old. You just
(40:59):
you have to just have them color something, have them right.
Speaker 5 (41:03):
I bring an arsenal of a backpack, I have plato,
I have paints, I have anything.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
You can imagine.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
Totally.
Speaker 5 (41:10):
You just load up that bag and that's but you're
teaching them. You make it fun. Here's your fancy napkin.
You get to order like this is really special. If
they have to get up and go outside and run around,
so be it. But you're teaching them how to interact
with adults. You're teaching them how to be patient. If
you're putting a screen in front of them, you're teaching
them a way to escape.
Speaker 4 (41:29):
The data shows this, but we anecdotally can confirm this.
Even like five minutes of screen time, they get braddier. Yeah,
they get more unruly. They just kind of get disconnected
from where they are. We could see a total behavioral
difference with our daughter as soon as there's like a
screen introduced.
Speaker 5 (41:45):
Even if it's just Spotify, Like if even if she's like,
I want.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
To choose my song, do you want to know so? Moon?
Speaker 5 (41:51):
And she but like five minutes later, she's like, you can't.
Speaker 4 (41:54):
It's like she's droned in. So we have one screen
for the whole family Central and it's same is Matt Walsh,
and I kind of got this from him. There's agreed
upon stuff that we're allowed to watch as a family,
and it's a very very short list, right, It's like
Bob Ross, Mister Rogers, and then the Chicago Cubs and
the Charlie Kirkshow and the Charlie kirk Show. And we
don't allow it later in the day unless the clubs
(42:16):
are playing. That's a whole separate issue. They happened, they
happen to be good this year, and then maybe some
college football. But that's like, we're so careful because and
that we can do the whole parenting. But as far
as this, this is a very difficult thing and it's
hard for it's very hard actually, but it must be said.
You are not your kid's friend. But it deserves so
(42:37):
the women. You deserve so much credit for keeping church
attendance alive, for serving in the churches, for volunteering in
the churches, for keeping the entire faith robust. And now
we're seeing a resurgence of young men finally come back.
It's something I don't think that's always articulated of how
the American Church has really been saved and strengthened by
(42:58):
women in America. Final thoughts.
Speaker 5 (43:00):
So, something that he does support into me emotionally is
or to just check in from that standpoint is if
he comes home, he's tired, how'd you ja great? Blah
blah blah, and I'm still cooking whatever. On his sabbath,
when he has a moment, he writes me a note.
He has not missed one. He writes me a note,
(43:21):
either leaves it on my pillow, hands it to me.
I've saved every single one of them in those notes
are what refill me emotionally if I need that filling.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
He's very good about that.
Speaker 5 (43:34):
So when you're in a relationship, how it's important to
know your spouse's nature, it's also important to know your own.
What do you want him to do to help pour
into your emotional side? What is something that makes you
tick in your heart tick? Do you want him to
write you a note? Do you want him to tell
you you're beautiful?
Speaker 2 (43:49):
Do you want him to take you on a date.
Do you want him to bring you flowers? Do you
hate flowers? Do you want a cake?
Speaker 5 (43:55):
Like? You learn what will speak to you so that
you can check that box head even on a day
where he says five words, but he brought you flowers
and you're like, wow, I feel loved. I get it,
just like be sure to communicate that though he can't
read your brain. It's the famous thing of where do
you want to go eat for dinner? I don't care.
(44:16):
We'll go to Chipotle. I don't want Chipotle. Like you
need to be able to know your own nature, to
tell your husband, not train him.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
But is a team. This is what I want. This
is what I expect. I love you so much. Please,
this is.
Speaker 5 (44:30):
How you can pour into me. How can I pour
into you? Charlie and I check in with each other
every single day. How can I serve you better? What
can I do for you to make it better when
you get home? Is there anything that you need me
to have ready for you when you come back from
the office or this trip?
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Xyz? He asked me the same thing.
Speaker 5 (44:44):
If I'm not doing something, or even if I'm out
with the kids, what can I do? How can I
make your day better? You're a team and you guys
are not at ends with each other, work together, communicate,
and grow together as equally yoked partnership.
Speaker 4 (45:00):
It's beautiful and thank you for that. I want to
plug one thing and then I will say one last
thing to the whole audience, and thank you. I want
all of you to start a Turning Point USA chapter
at your high school or college. Who's your at turning Point?
You say, chapter leader, raise your hand. We need more
of you to go start Turning Point USA chapters. You
(45:21):
could do so out there. There's amazing giveaways. Associated the
final thing, I'll say two final things and that Eric,
Do you have any final thoughts Before I get to
my two final things, I'll go quick while you think
about it, the first of which is we're gonna have
a whole Q and A for politics or whatever you
want tomorrow or more relationship stuff if you want. Do
not talk down to men. Do not engage in this
(45:42):
toxic maskin masculinity, bashing of men. Not only do we
need men, the civilization is God created men and women,
and it's very tempting to get into the whole kind
of girl dominant society. You do not want to live
in that world. I'm telling you right now. You do
not you want to live in a world where the
best of both sexes are equally balanced. The other thing
I'll say, which is kind of funnier. It's hard to
(46:06):
put into words how much men want a just like
a return to normal things like cooking a meal, like
serving in like those fundamental ways like that stuff as
a husband or even a boyfriend goes beyond measure that
I can put into words and.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Make it fun and be like, what do you want
to eat?
Speaker 5 (46:25):
And then like have them make a menu, and then
it's a good challenge for you to like I cooked
swordfish the other night.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
It was okay, it wasn't.
Speaker 4 (46:33):
My best, but it's like great.
Speaker 5 (46:36):
But it goes to say, just make things fun. Don't again,
don't look at it as I have to. I get
to serve my husband. I get to submit unto my
husband because he's submitting himself to the Lord. There is
a balance, and there's something really beautiful about that balance.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
If you have a situation where you don't.
Speaker 5 (46:56):
Have someone in your life that you can look towards
as a healthy marriage, find seek that out.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
Whether that's in your.
Speaker 5 (47:04):
Church, whether that's in your community, whether that's something online.
Hold on to that so that you can have some
form of an understanding of Okay, this is what I
have to look forward to. I'm so excited. And God
will make sure that the right man will come into
your path. He won't walk past you, he won't miss you.
God is always on time, and so is your future husband.
(47:24):
So just wait on the Lord and you'll get everything
that you've prayed for, and more stuff that you prayed
for that you thought you needed. You'll get way beyond
that because God knows truly is the desires of your heart.
Speaker 4 (47:35):
If you see anybody that looks lonely, go introduce yourself totally.
Make sure you counsel them and make a friend out
of them. We want people to leave friends for a
lifetime here and we are just getting started. The next
couple days are gonna be life changing. God bless you all.
Speaker 3 (47:48):
Thank you so much,