The Small Bow Podcast

The Small Bow Podcast

Welcome to the Small Bow Podcast. I’m your host, A.J. Daulerio. This is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where we talk to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal person — about their struggles with love, sex, money, loneliness, shame, grief, drugs, alcohol, ego, identity, fame, and other fun things. Whatever is bringing you down, you might find something here that you didn’t know you needed. In addition to this podcast, the Small Bow is also a newsletter and recovery community that I started in 2018 to chronicle my own path toward sobriety and sanity following multiple rehab stints and a very public ordeal in which I was a co-defendant in Gawker's groundbreaking legal trial against professional wrestler Hulk Hogan for publishing a portion of his sex tape. A Florida jury voted in favor of Hogan and awarded him $115 million, which bankrupted the company and torched my former life. But out of the ashes of that ordeal grew the Small Bow. If you like what we do, consider subscribing to our newsletter and joining our community. We publish essays, interviews and other musings on recovery, and have online recovery support meetings seven days a week. Sign up for the Small Bow newsletter & community at: http://www.thesmallbow.com IG: @smallbowmedia

Episodes

Opening the Doors on a Real Recovery Meeting

July 29, 2026 • 66 mins
This week on The Small Bow Podcast, you’re invited to join us for a Small Bow Meeting. A Small Bow Meeting is not a 12-step meeting, but we rip off most of their format. It is not necessary for participants to identify as an alcoholic or addict. This meeting is open to people who suffer from issues related to mental illness, drugs, love, sex, food, debt, codependency, inadequacy, or anything else that’s bringing you dow...
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If You’re Searching For Heaven, Go Home | Swamp Dogg on the Afterlife

July 22, 2026 • 47 mins
Swamp Dogg is a country, soul and R&B singer, musician, songwriter and record producer. He has influenced multiple generations of musicians with his defiantly idiosyncratic discography and has been described by Pitchfork as one of “pop’s great cult acts.” He also happens to sing The Small Bow theme song. He stopped by the studio to discuss his long career, his lifelong search for happiness, and his new album S...
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Megan Koester Is A Great Writer. Why Isn’t She Writing?

July 15, 2026 • 57 mins
Megan Koester is a writer and stand-up comedian who isn’t writing and won’t promote her stand-up. In my opinion, she should be doing more of both of those things but hey, it’s not up to me. I wanted to have Megan back on the show to talk about self-sabotage and becoming your own worst enemy. Plus, being an atheist in recovery rooms, EMDR and weaponized trauma and how to use craigslist ephemera as self-promotion. ...
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Richard Rushfield Has Power in Hollywood. Just Don’t Tell Him That.

July 8, 2026 • 51 mins
When I want to know what’s going on in Hollywood, I turn to Richard Rushfield. Richard is a columnist for the Ankler, his influential newsletter about the state of the entertainment industry. He is also sober, and decided to stop by our show on his 30th sobriety anniversary. We talk about how sobriety has changed his work ethic and made him more comfortable in his own skin. We also discuss the state of sobriety in Hollywood: ...
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We Fear Connection More Than Loss: Audience Q&A with Peaceful John

July 1, 2026 • 45 mins
For this episode of The Small Bow Podcast, my friend Peaceful John joins the show to answer some of your questions about recovery. It should be obvious pretty quickly why I call him Peaceful John. We talk about how to set boundaries with aging parents, how to avoid turning your grief into a weapon, how to care less, how to feel more… basically how to deal with your own sh*t. Thanks to everyone who wrote in (I may have snuck ...
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To Write a Book about Family, Mary H. K. Choi Had to First Look at Her Own

June 24, 2026 • 56 mins
Mary H. K. Choi stops by the show for our annual meeting of the dead dads club and a conversation about her new book Pool House. We discuss the major changes in Mary’s life that informed the writing of this book, including her autism diagnosis and the loss of her dad, and the ways that this round of self-promotion has led to new appreciation for her community. Plus, why 12-step is genius, why 20 year-olds are awesome and why ...
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Death, Sex and Recovery: A Conversation with Anna Sale

June 17, 2026 • 51 mins
Death, Sex and Money is where I go for a jolt of connection to something bigger than myself. Anna Sale hosts that show and is also the author of the book Let’s Talk About Hard Things. On this episode, we talk about the moment Anna realized she didn’t understand death nearly as much as she thought she did. We also get into the origins of Death, Sex and Money and the role that Anna’s visit to recovery rooms in Brook...
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Ryan O'Connell on the Strange Sensation of Finally Being Seen

June 10, 2026 • 53 mins
Ryan O’Connell had an uncommon path to fame. After starting as a blogger in New York, he wrote a TV script about his life as a young, gay man with Cerebral Palsy. When the show was picked up by Netflix, the network insisted he star in it as well. Now that Special is in the rearview mirror, Ryan has gone back to his roots as a writer. He has a new book of essays out, called Inspiration Porn, which describes his life in Hollywo...
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Langhorne Slim Wanted to Flee. Then He Became a Father.

June 3, 2026 • 58 mins
Turns out Langhorne Slim and I have a lot in common. We both grew up in the Philly suburbs, we spent formative creative years in New York and we became dads in our forties. We’re also both in recovery. Langhorne’s got a new album out called The Dreaming Kind and he stopped by the studio to chat before playing a show at the Troubadour in LA. In this episode, we talk about the ways we’ve both struggled with the idea...
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Dopey Dave on Ego, Success and Why "More" is the Hardest Drug to Quit

May 27, 2026 • 45 mins
Dave Manheim (host of the Dopey Podcast) comes back on the show to drop some Dopey wisdom. We talk about ego, ambition, control issues, slowing down and how to be of service, self-servingly. Plus, what I learned from losing my wallet and why Dave hates the movie Inside Out. New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Smal...
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Mitchell Jackson on Crisis PR, Billionaire Clients and Cancel Culture

May 20, 2026 • 59 mins
As the publicist for some of the most controversial people in media, including Candace Owens, Clavicular and Adam Friedland, Mitchell Jackson runs toward chaos. I wanted to have him on the show to talk about his own sobriety and how he balances a professional life that’s full of drama with a private life that’s “drama-free.” We talk about Mitchell’s definition of cancellation, his dream clients (Madonn...
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Blair Socci on Returning to Standup After the Loss of her Brother

May 13, 2026 • 49 mins
How do you begin to laugh again after experiencing unimaginable grief? Comedian Blair Socci has been trying to answer this question since the sudden death of her brother, but the answer isn’t obvious. I wanted to have her on the show to hear how she’s doing and learn what her recent experience has taught her about vulnerability and healing. Blair’s loss is still fresh and this is a pretty raw conversation— s...
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Michael Strassner Made a Movie About the Night That Almost Killed Him

May 6, 2026 • 47 mins
Michael Strassner makes sure to watch the first scene of his film The Baltimorons at every screening, because he knows that if the events of that scene went differently, he wouldn't be around to watch them. He and I sit down for a frank and funny conversation about depression, getting sober by the skin of your teeth and finding unexpected laughter in recovery rooms. Plus, learning to love the birds at 4am. Please note: This episod...
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When you make a dog your “higher power,” what happens when they die?

April 29, 2026 • 48 mins
My friend Jeremy Luke did something you’re not supposed to do— two months after getting sober, he got a dog. That dog became his “No. 1 Sidekick” and suddenly Jeremy was a “dog guy,” trading in his bar friends for dog friends. When his dog Boogie died, Jeremy didn’t want to be sober anymore. In this conversation, we talk through the particular grief of losing an animal, especially one that...
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Why Alex Winter Quit Hollywood for 10 Years

April 22, 2026 • 60 mins
Every week, Alex Winter and I have a standing date at the House of Pies in LA. I like what he has to say about creativity, fame, sobriety— you know, all the stuff I’m interested in. Alex was on Broadway as a kid and then blew up when he starred in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. In this conversation, we talk about how child stardom messes with your sense of self and why he had to quit the business to figure ...
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The Mushrooms Told Me to Stop Drinking

April 15, 2026 • 62 mins
Chris Witaske has "golden retriever" energy and he knows it, but there’s a bullied kid under that fun-loving guy. You probably know Chris as Pete on The Bear, or from those Progressive commercials. We talk about how he grew up drinking cheap beer in cornfields and dreaming of Animal House, only to crash out after a life-altering trip at a Phish concert. We reflect on the rockstars who made it out alive (Trey Anastasio) and th...
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How to be addicted to people with Elizabeth Gilbert

April 8, 2026 • 60 mins
When Elizabeth Gilbert wrote Eat Pray Love, she described her disordered relationship history using the language of addiction. It wasn’t until years later that she realized that for her, addiction wasn’t only a metaphor. In her new memoir All the Way to the River, Gilbert chronicles the chaos and degradation of her own sex and love addiction and how she finally got clean. The book is messy, and so is Liz. No easy answer...
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Jerry O'Connell on the Fears and Feelings We Push Down

April 1, 2026 • 67 mins
My friend Jerry O’Connell says he’s a simple guy. I wholeheartedly disagree. I was frankly surprised that he agreed to come on the show and discuss his recovery, a topic he has never spoken about publicly before, but I’m glad he was willing to get "serious" with me. We also discuss how he’s processing (or not processing) the shock of losing Stand By Me director Rob Reiner, a man who “changed his whole ...
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Petty Resentments and Righteous Anger: A Conversation with Cord Jefferson

March 25, 2026 • 74 mins
When I found out my old colleague Cord Jefferson was writing a TV show about our time together at Gawker, I got pissed. I think I called him an "a**face." I don't feel resentful toward Cord anymore, but I wanted to have him on the show to talk about why that got under my skin. Plus, I wanted to hear how his recent success winning the Oscar for writing American Fiction had impacted his creative life. Together, we inventory our petty...
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Amanda de Cadenet on Facing "Dire" Loneliness and Loving Alcoholics

March 18, 2026 • 59 mins
Amanda de Cadenet lost control at an early age. As a teenager, she was on TV, married to a rockstar and all over the tabloids, but she had a deep loneliness that she couldn’t face. When she entered recovery, she stepped behind the camera for the first time and discovered the power of her own gaze. Now, as the host of “The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet,” she creates space for some of the world’s best-kn...
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