March 28, 2022 • 50 mins
Gizelle and Robyn talk about The Real, Nick Cannon, new emojis, Tyler the Creator and more.
Then, the ladies hear listener experiences about overcoming suicidal thoughts and how to create a support system for yourself and others.
*Trigger Warning: discussion and accounts of self-harm and suicide*
======
Need to talk with someone or looking for helpful resources?
*** National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255
*** www.afsp.org
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Get in touch with the show: whatsup (at) reasonablyshady (dot) com
--Follow Robyn on IG: robyndixon10
--Follow Gizelle on IG: gizellebryant
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Reasonably Shady, a production of the Black Effect
Podcast Network and I Heart Radio. Welcome to Reasonably Shady.
(00:21):
I am Gazelle Bryant. What's up? What's up everyone? This
is Robin Dixon. Thank you once again for being here. Yes,
we are still rocking and rolling. I know, I know.
And I just told Robin I would never get sick
of her, and she just informed me she can't say
the same. I just saidn't mind, just have to put
her like on mute or pause. I mean, how rude
(00:45):
is that? I know? I mean, because she's just sometimes
it's a lot. I can't. I can't be a lot sometimes.
I understand that. And Robin gets a lot of me. Okay,
she really really does. Even my kids be like my
team too much from you anyway, moving on, UM, we
would like to talk about our reasonably Shady moment of
(01:06):
the week. Do you have one? Yeah? Okay, okay, you
go for um okay, So this is gonna be a
little tam I for the squeamish guys out here. You
know where this is going. You know, my little friend,
my period came and um, my shady moment goes to
(01:30):
the tampon shortage that's going on in in this world? Like
when you started, I did not know you were going there.
There is a tampon shortage, is there really? Literally? Yes?
Like okay, you can go in and get like the
light and the regular, No, bitch, I need the ultras
like I need like heavy duty. Yes, I need super
(01:52):
Plus and Ultra and you cannot find them anywhere. Like
next next time you go on the store, look at
the shelves. They're bare, like the tampon Maxi pat shouts,
they are so bare. There in my gym. There's plethora
in my gym, but I don't want those. Those are
probably like regularly and they don't help me. Yes, So
so yeah, I'm over here like hoping that I'm not
(02:13):
walking around with some um with a leakage. Yeah. I
don't want to see any leakage either. So you need
you need an Ultra? What do we have now regular?
Right now? I was. I was able to, you know,
scrounge up some superpluses, but I had to double it
up with a Maxi pad just to like I never
have to wear pads, but like I had to like
(02:33):
put a pad on it. Okay, sorry guys, seeing too
much for the guys. But yeah, but um, but seriously,
they'n I go on Amazon to buy my ultra tampons. Nope?
Really nope. Wow, yeah, there's a tampon shortage. There's a
there's a and I heard that there was like a
peanut butter shortage. Is that true? Really? Maybe I made
that up? I made that up. Okay, there was a
(02:56):
shortage of something that I needed and I can't remember
what it was. I'm gonna remember in like twenty minutes.
But anyway, let me give you my reasonably shady moment
other week. So one is tampons, the other is we're
back to talking about my trainer. Okay, his name is Tyrone.
So Tyrone has informed me that, you know, my moments
with him in the gym are just moments. But what
(03:17):
he really wants me to do is adopt a lifestyle.
Oh yes, of course, otherwise you're wasting your time, right,
And so he has gotten me to eat salads, that's
his what he wants me to do, like eat a
salad every goddamn day with protein in it. Not necessarily
he wants he's looking more for vegetables to be in
(03:38):
my system. Okay, so you know, if you start eating
salads all the time, you just want something else to eat?
Is it's s boring? Yes, So I have decided, and
I'm not going to tell Tyrone. So y'all don't tell
him either. By the way, Tyrone is the shady moment.
Tyrone is probably listening to Tyrone better not be listening
to this part, because what I have to say is fine,
(04:00):
I'm gonna eat my damn salads and cookies, and I
have decided my new drink is nineteen forty two. So
that is my diet salads, cookies, and nineteen forty two.
So you know at this point, you're just wasting your
money with Tyrone, right right? You know Tyrone is good
(04:22):
for me, Yeah, but if you're going to eat cookies
and drink, yeah, you're wasting your time. So from what
I understand. From what I understand, nineteen forty two isn't
a cove. I've done my research or basically somebody told
me this, and it metabolizes in your system very differently
than like a vodka or a wine or a gin. Okay,
(04:44):
so it's it's basically no sugar in your body. That's
how I metabolizes. Are you sure about that. No, it
just makes you drunk, that's all. And you know sometimes
you like to be drawn a little drunk, and drunk
is good. Yes, So that's where I am. Tyrone, suck it, Okay,
get over it the end. Luck with that special diet.
Oh my gosh. Okay, So we have we have some
(05:05):
things to go over. Okay, first and foremost, they are
canceling all of our black shows out here in the streets.
I know, and I don't think I like it. Yes,
I was actually quite so. Okay, there was there's a rumor,
I don't know if it's confirmed or not at this time,
um that The Real has been canceled or it's not
being renewed, which really really that that kind of like
(05:28):
bothered me and hurt me because I actually enjoy watching
The Real. Absolutely. Those girls are fire and they're all
very opinionated, and they're smart, and I just you know,
you like to watch something and you feel like you
could be sitting in a room with them and have
fun with them exactly, and and they have a great dynamic.
And so when there was a report that they were canceled,
and then Lonnie Love said something where you know, hold
(05:50):
hold your horses, not so fast, you know. There. They
haven't anything yet, so I'm not quite sure where they
are with it, but I'm hoping that they're not canceled
because I think they are a great show. Um, and
I'm hoping they figure out how to make it work. Yeah,
and we we were on there, yes, and I and
and I'm not even saying it's just because we were
on there. Like I've I watched The Real, you know, religiously.
If I'm at home and it's twelve o'clock, the Real
(06:13):
is on my TV. So I'm hoping that they can
find and make it work and keep the ladies on
on because I don't know, I mean, I just when
I think about daytime or you know, the TV in
the morning, morning TV, daytime TV. Um, I feel like
they represent us the most for sure. I love you know,
(06:33):
people had commentary about Garcel being added to the group,
but I thought she has brought like a great mixed
to them. Um. I love some Adrian Bellion. Is that
how you say her last name? By Alon? Bylon Bellion? Okay,
I love Adrian and Jennie. You know, we've seen Jennie
say she'd never get married again. To get married, I
(06:56):
don't want any kids. So now she has a child,
like we've seen the growth of Jane. Yeah, absolutely, yes, absolutely,
so you know, so we we are asking the reel
to remain on. I don't know if that's going to help.
But also Nick Cannon, sir, he didn't last long out
here in the streets. He did it, and I thought
he was gonna I really thought that he was at
least going to make it past one season because I
(07:17):
actually I don't watch his show all the time, but
I find it to be lighthearted. Yes, and you know
when I do watch it, I enjoy it. But you know,
I think it's just rough out of here to make
these daytime talk shows. Yes, I think it. You know,
they're looking for a certain number as it relates to ratings.
It's all ratings driven. Um. I do think Nick's pants
might have been a little too tight. He just was
(07:38):
you know, when he was sitting down, he was always
standing up. Then he was sitting down standing. No his fans. Now,
I like Nick, and to be honest with you, I
was feeling like, you know, his hope. Remember he had
like a panel of men. That's something that we don't
see on television, especially like daytime television men, a bunch
(07:59):
of men giving their opinion on things. I enjoyed that.
So I wonder if the men aren't really driving things,
you know what I mean, because if you think about it,
there really aren't what other male talk shows are there
out there right now, like none, none really, So it's
like maybe the men just don't drive the day time
TV stuff. And so maybe they thought Nick was going
(08:21):
to bring enough of like the female audience, um, which
I think he does, but um, I was, you know,
disappointed to hear that for him. But you know, he's
going to be okay because we know that he has
so many different you know, businesses and things that he
has going on and jobs, and so he's fine. We're
gonna tell you to see him on our TV. Nick's
show was his side hustle. Right, He's probably relieved, you
(08:44):
know what. They might have canceled it because he was
probably like, I'm bad it is. Let me let me
do something else. Let me let's not feel sorry for
Nick Cannon because he no, no, we're not feeling, not
feeling wants a better thing. Okay. So, Robin, I think
Apple or somebody just dropped Apple just dropped a bunch
of new emojis. Oh, I know, have you seen them?
So I have. I haven't seen all of them, but
(09:07):
I'm I'm enjoying the ones that I've seen. Okay, first
and foremost, do you like emojis? Because emojis have been
around forever and people some people use them all the time,
so people don't use them right, So I remember when
they kind of like first came out, I was like,
what the hell is it? Like I was confused, like
what is this? And why? You know, it's just like
why do we need this? But now it's like, yes,
(09:27):
I definitely text with emojis. Um, you know, I'm not.
I don't like overdo it, but you know, and then
of course you have like your your go to one. Yes, Um,
I like the ones holding you're looking at something. Yeah,
I'm like that, I pulled it up but y'all can't
see it. But but we will describe to you the
emojis that we like kind of love. I like the
ones with the finger pointing at you, Like, I think
(09:48):
that's kind of like a three When when would you
use that? Like what what would be? What would you
be saying? Like not it? Like you know what I'm
saying like you're it. Yeah, okay, I like that, Like
who's who's going to go to the grocery store? You okay,
I'm feeling that. By the way, you know, we we
are Potoma Girls and our emoji is the it's like
(10:12):
a pink it looks like a cherry blossom flower. So
that's like quintessential to the Real Housewives of Tone. Yeah,
definitely use that, so we use that. I like the one, Um,
it's like the face. It's a face, he's covering the face,
but like what look peeking through with the you know,
peeking through like a peek a boo eye, like a
pickle boo eye. Yeah. I like that, And that's kind
(10:33):
of like, you know, like watching a train wreck type thing.
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, you're watching the train Wreck.
I like, Um, okay, there's some that's like a white
hand and a black hand and they're shaking hands. I
don't know when I would use that. I mean, I
feel like that requires too much thought, Like you know
what I'm saying, Like, so you would use that when
you're talking to a white person and you're happy about
what they said, and you would then I guess I'm
(10:56):
coming I guess it's okay, Like if you're like, all right,
so if you had a friend, and if you had
a white friend, and y'all were making plans on where
to eat for dinner, and then y'all y'all come to
your yes deal, right, so you're like, all right, deal.
So then you got your shaking hands with your light
skin hands and her and her white hand. Do they
have a light skin hand in the white hand? Yeah?
(11:18):
They do. There you go like this one, this would
be good, okay. And then there's a bunch of it's
like so many, so many, And then there's I guess
because of little nas X, there's a bunch of men
that are pregnant, pregnant man, pregnant man. Very interesting. Um,
and I'm trying to figure out when when would you
send that one? I don't, I don't know, okay, alright,
(11:40):
moving on, I do like, okay, so there's there's three
kidney beans. What is that for? That are together? Can
be used for several different things, really, like you can
send it to a guy and be like, so does
this look familiar? Like if you haven't had sex with
him and you want to know if his stuff is
the size of a kidney beans, so would send it
to him and you would know an advance. Really he's
(12:03):
gonna be like, yes, that would just like me. No,
he should send you back an eggplan and that would
be like, Okay, this is gonna be it's gonna be good.
But if he's like, yeah, I like kidney beans, you
know it's gonna be. There any other reason we need
the kidney beans. No, there's no other reason. Um, there's
there's someone were so random, like the slide like this,
(12:25):
like the ladder with the like a sliding board going
into the pool or even just a playground like makes
no sense to me. Um, the biting lip that's sexy?
Which one is? Oh this one? Yeah? Oh yeah, I
gotta send that one out. Okay, I do like because
me and so for just f y mean Grace. Like
if I see if we're at church, mean Grace and
(12:46):
she's like not sitting near me and I look at her,
She'll give me like half of a heart and then
I'll give her the other half. Very cute, I know.
So I like the hands, the hands that form a heart. Yes,
very cute. I'm gonna be sitting those out. Okay, So
so apple te gud so I I wish. Okay, so
for me, um, you know, I'm in a sorority. I'm
(13:07):
a Delta and our animal is an elephant. They don't
have elephant. They have an elephant, but the elephant, the
elephants trunk needs to be facing up like for it
to be like, we want our trunk to be up.
So I hate that I have to use this elephant
with the trunk down and curled under because we only
(13:29):
want the elephant trunk to be up. And I wish
I could somehow just ask them to revise it and
give me an elephant trunk facing for the for the Deltas. Yes, okay,
well I feel like i'm doing like I'm I'm violating
some sort of like sorority code when I use this
elephant of big and it's trunk is not up, so
(13:51):
they have no choice. Okay, but y'all have y'all also
do the pyramid? Right? Yeah? So is there like there's
a red triangle the red triangle? Okay, so I'll use
that sometimes, but I like the elephant. Okay, I'm here
for you. Now. Can we talk about Tyler the Creator? Why?
(14:13):
Because okay, first of all, my children, Tyler the creator.
I think is very creative. I don't know the record.
I don't have no idea who this person is. Really.
He's extremely popular with the young folks. Okay, but why, Like,
what does he do? He has music? He's yes, he's
a he's a rapper. He's got a clothing line, golf
(14:35):
clothing line, Jenny's, which is an ice cream store. Every
summer they give him his own flavor, okay, which you
know is small potatoes in comparison to his world. He
is best friends with Jaden Smith. Okay, not that that
matters either. I mean he's he's just a creative dude. Okay,
(14:55):
google him. By the way, I want to talk about him,
not because he's till of the creative, but because of
what he said, because it resonated with me. Because he's
about to go on tour. Right, So he put out
a tweet to the world and it says something like this, Yo,
if someone invites you to a show, don't effing be like,
(15:17):
can I get five passes? No is the answer. Okay,
come with your one guest and show some fin respect.
Don't e and ask for a family amount of tickets.
And you think this is a charity who raised you.
People know you're ef in place. You ain't special. Somebody
pissed him off, somebody made him real mad. But guess
(15:39):
what this I feel is an anthem. Anytime we have
a party or an event, a social gathering, there's always
that one right that brings the whole cruel crew. Leave
your crew on home. Your crew is not invited, Okay,
leave them something called home. But do you know what
(16:01):
closed mouths don't get fed. Right, So if the answer
is no, then fine, I would be embarrassed to even ask.
But I be like, yo, Okay, I told my friends
I was going, and now everybody want to go. You
got can? I can so and so and so and okay,
But his show is just like the callous for this conversation.
(16:21):
The conversation is, aren't you tired of people feeling like
they can bring Lottie Dotty and everybody. No, Lottie Dotty
and everybody first of all don't know how to act,
and not feeding them. I don't want them around. Well,
I think, okay, see that's where we differ, right, that's
where we differ. I just feel like it doesn't hurt
(16:42):
to ask, right number one. Number two, The more the
merrier depending on the scenario. It depends on what it is.
Like if okay, if it's a birthday dinner and I'm
paying for everyone, you know, and I bring in the
whole crew. But if it's like a birthday party and
it's you know, it's gonna be fifty people, they're already, Well,
what difference is fifty five? Mate? No? Them five need
(17:07):
to stay at home. And I don't like when people
feel like I don't know your friends and just because
your friends are friends with you does not mean their
friends with me. Well, right, I mean that's true. It's
just I mean, I feel like it's it just depends
on the scenario. It doesn't hurt to ask, So like
if he says no, then okay, all right, I'm coming
by myself right now, I'm coming, right, Yes, I'm coming.
(17:30):
But how many? But I've I've been. There's been so
many scenarios in which I could have been, like, yo,
can I bring three more people or five more people
or eight more people? I would never do that, I mean, right,
And who wants to roll that deep? Anyway? Yes? And
if you got to be a response, and then y'all
have to coordinate, y'all got to wear matching socks. I mean,
(17:50):
it's just gets to be too much. Oh my god,
I don't. I mean, I personally just don't want to
roll that deep because that's just it's just too much.
Like yeah, pick your one or two. I mean some
times you might want to bring it a second person, right,
you know, no, not really just one. No, like we okay,
for instance, like me and Robin we roll deep, we
gotta squeeze Carly and sometimes and you know, sometimes we
(18:12):
don't want to, like, well, we gotta squeeze her in.
So it's like I guess we we are at fault too.
There you go, there you go. We gotta you know,
we ain't hurt no body. No, we didn't, but you know,
cheeze Louise. But somebody pissed them off right before then.
But you know what, it's funny. It reminds me of
like when Sean was playing in the n b A
and you know, people would be like, hey, can I
(18:35):
get tickets? And I'm like, uh, the box office is
not closed, right, the box office is open opens that eight.
You're a ticket, go by it. It's just like it
would it would just be like I don't know, I
mean certain scenarios, yeah, because maybe they're sold out and
you know, you only have you know, all the players
get their four tickets, so it doesn't hurt to ask.
(18:56):
But then sometimes it's just like when you know the
games aren't sold out, you know what I mean, when
it's like okay, and and if it's like a whole
bunch of people trying to come, somebody needs are just yes.
Now I can't say that I have done this speaking
of tickets. Um for instance, like Erica's has been Kevin,
(19:17):
he has access to tickets. So I'll say, look, I'm
gonna pay for my tickets, but I just wanted two
good seats right at your price? Right? Yeah? Well no, no,
well yeah, but I mean I don't I don't. I
don't mind spending my money, but I would never be like, yo,
you know my people want to roll through. Well yeah, yeah,
(19:39):
not cool. Okay, this this is this is kind of
off topic really quickly, but I want to read this
because it's kind of actually happened to me. So a
couple of weeks ago, we Um talked about people and
how they knew that the person that they were dealing
with was not the one. Okay, So this one one woman,
Megan Thomas, she wrote in and she said he was
(20:00):
gone one weekend for a quote family reunion. Then he
came back and told me so nonchalantly that he got
engaged and wanted to show me the damn ring. Why
so your boo goes away for our family reunion, he
comes back and he's engaged. What Okay, there's like a
(20:24):
whole big part of this story that we're missing. That's
all she gave us. That's all she gave us. But
I can say that Gizelle was dating this dude casually,
right casually, And let's say I was. I was with
him on a particular weekend. Ten days later he was
engaged really to someone else. He told you this when
(20:46):
you found out, like through the news or something. I
found announcement. I found out, but it wasn't I wasn't mad,
Like I mean, I would have never married this dude.
Like we were just kicking it. But like he could
have said something right, But at that so at the
time your cash really dating him, you had no clue
that that was that he was even in a relationship. No, wow,
I knew that. The So the girl that he ended
(21:08):
up marrying I knew that they had dated prior, like
a long time ago. I didn't know they're back together
and he Ba hall Ring, Oh my god, crazy. Did
you talk to him after you found out? I did
with I mean, I wished him well. I was like congratulations.
I didn't even it was all it's like nothing at
no point and even like getting mad, because I wasn't
(21:29):
even mad. The only part that I was kind of
like whoa. It was like you, I was just what
you do? You could have told me this, but then
maybe maybe you were like the last hurrah, I think so,
which has happened to me four times? Okay, by the way, okay,
there's four dudes that came back around like, yo, I'm
about to get married, and I was just wonder if
we could, like, you know, spend some time together before
(21:50):
I get married. I promise you four times about to
get married, not about to get engaged, about to get married,
like the wedding was like you know, the next weekend,
and what was your answer? I I cannot tell that
on this podcast because it depends on how it was
when we would have got you know what I'm saying,
you know, it depends on if it was an eggplant
or Okay, So that means the answer was not no.
(22:16):
I'm just saying, but guess what I think, get married,
you off limits. I say you are single until you
get married. Okay, anyway, moving on to you. Don't you
don't feel bad about being like somebody's like scraps? Well no,
because I look at it like maybe I wanted to
see you one more time before or off the market. Yes,
and I really wasn't was our side piece at the time.
(22:37):
I guess for that night. Maybe. Okay, we're changing the subject.
This is terrible. This is back in my twenties. Okay, okay, fine,
it was last week anyway, going on so weeks ago,
we talked about um, God bless her soul, Chestlee Chris,
who committed suicide. She's just abuse beautiful specimen, a beautiful
(23:01):
human being. Everything that we saw publicly right just she
was like a court Um, what do you call those people?
Queen responded, she was a correspondent, she was she was
a pageant queen, and she just seemed like like so lighthearted, beautiful,
beautiful spirit, always positive, and then she committed suicide. So
(23:21):
we were asking you guys to give us your stories
and your thoughts on depression and maybe even give us
some tools that we can help provide so that this
does not happen again. And and I want to forewarn
I guess this is a trigger warning for some. So
if this is a topic that you know is very
(23:43):
delicate for you, this is a trigger warning, and you
can turn off. But I hope everyone listens, and um,
here's listens to people's stories and listens to ways to
be supportive of others who are who are in this
situation and how to overcome. I'm not going to give
the person I'm gonna read a story. I'm not gonna
give the person's name just for her anonymity, but she says, Hi,
(24:07):
Robin and Giselle, I wanted to share my depression story
that almost led to suicide. I had severe depression as
a team due to bullying both at school and at home.
I felt like there was no release or safe space,
and having no release, I began cutting. I tried to
find a release in writing poetry, but my mother took
that and used it against me with my therapist and
(24:29):
repeatedly told me I was crazy. Then I began cutting
deeper and more frequently, and ultimately decided there was no
way out, so I cut my face, my wrists, and stomach,
and then locked myself in the bathroom, hoping I could
die in peace. Thankfully, thankfully, my mother found me passed out,
and I was taken to the emergency room and did
(24:50):
a two week stint in the psych ward. During this time,
all I was looking for was someone to love me,
someone to tell me just because was different or bigger,
that I wasn't fat, I wasn't ugly. I was exactly
as God intended me to be. When you're depressed, reassurance
and praise go a long way. Oftentimes, depressed people don't
(25:12):
want to talk about what they are going through because
they don't want to burden others. I felt that exact way,
and I still do, and I'm thankful that I was
able to grow past oppression and get to a place
where I truly believe I am awesome. And then she
says that she thinks that it's great that Rob and
I are using our platform to talk about this. Um,
(25:35):
this is actually a great story because she got to
the other side right and um, you know, it sounds
like in her story she didn't have the support. You know,
she mentioned her mother, she didn't really have she wasn't
getting the love that she needed maybe from her mother,
or her mother wasn't taking her needs seriously. And we're
(25:56):
no expert here and now you know, so we're just
trying to talk through. But UM, I just think anyone
just sharing, just giving love to anyone around you is
so important. And I think people don't realize how important
it is for people to feel loved and to feel
acknowledged and listen and heard and recognized. And so you know,
(26:18):
just as you are in your daily lives with your
family and your friends, UM, make sure the people are
around you who spend their time with you know that
you love them and that you care for them. UM.
And you just never know how how much of a
world of a difference you can make for them. UM.
I want to offer some resources as we read these, UM,
just for people to look up. UM website this the
(26:42):
American Association of Suicideology that's www Dot suicide Alogy dot org.
The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention that's www Dot a
f SP dot org. UM, and we're going to read
another one and offer some more resources. UM. Hey, Robin
(27:03):
and Gisel. First off, I want to say, I love
your podcast and I love the two of you. You
guys are such a beautiful example of female friendship and
it's so freaking refreshing. I feel like I'm hanging out
with my girlfriends when I listen to your show. Thanks
for being hilarious and inspiring. Um, thank you for that.
On a more serious note, I wanted to reply to
your question in the last episode regarding depression, suicide, and
(27:24):
self harm. I've struggled with depression for about twelve years now,
been on antidepressants for most of that time, and although
I'm happy to say that I'm doing very well most
of the time, I still get hit with bouts of
it now and again. My grandfather committed suicide before I
was born, so it's always been something my family has
discussed openly, which I really appreciate. I learned from a
young age that people who commit suicide are not bad
(27:47):
people or have something to hide. They are just hurting
and tired. I've never attempted suicide, thankfully, but I've definitely
gone through times where I considered it. On those days,
the world feel so dark. It's like a cloud that
hangs over you that you can't see your way through,
no matter what anyone else says, no matter what you
(28:09):
know to be true. For me, it's like the hurt
and darkness is so deep that you just wanted to end,
Like you've just got to escape it, and you can't
see any other way. When I was younger, I used
to deal with that pain by cutting. Somehow it felt
like I could transfer the emotional pain into physical pain,
(28:30):
and that was somehow easier to bear. But I'm happy
to say that I haven't cut one single time since
two thousand eighteen. The letter goes on, but I wanted
to pause and say, I think this is so important
to hear um someone actually describing you know, what is
going through their their mind or their thought process when
they are considering suicide. UM. And just know, you know
(28:53):
if you get to these places where it's dark and
that you feel like a cloud is hanging over over you,
that you can get through to it. UM. I want
to continue with the letter. For me, the most importive
thing that the people around me can do is to
not judge and not and to not act scared of me.
If I tell a friend that I've been struggling or
had suicidal thoughts, It's important that they stay calm and
(29:15):
talk it through with me. If they start hyperventilating and
freaking out all over the place, I'm just not going
to share it with them. In the situation will get worse.
On the other hand, if a friend treats me like
when I'm a normal human being who's having a hard time,
I'll be much more apt to open up and actually
be able to see away through that dark cloud. I
(29:35):
also think it's really important that we don't judge people
for taking medication that helps them stay balanced. The world
is getting better about this, but I still get jabbed
sometimes from friends saying things like, oh, I would never
take pills, as though doing so somehow makes me lesser.
It's basically saying I didn't try hard enough, which is
a pretty shitty thing to say to a friend, even
(29:56):
if they mean well. I'm also a huge fan of therapy,
a yoga teacher, and I've tried every meditation practice under
the sun, but those things alone weren't enough in my case.
Sometimes you just need medications anyway. Thank you for reading
this novel of an answer. Thank you for using your
platform to talk about these kinds of issues and help
(30:17):
bring more understanding to people. It can be an uncomfortable
topics are really come into both of you for taking on.
Thanks for all you do. Yeah, I And we've talked
about therapy on this show before and how important it
is and how I'm happy that, Like now, I feel
like culture and society has gotten to a place where
it's not like a bad word, and it's not looked
upon as like something that is not common. It's very common.
(30:41):
The more people I talked to, the more people I meet,
the more people I know are in therapy. Yeah. Yeah,
you know, it's so funny. I was. I was out
to dinner the other day with um. It might have
been seven of us at the table. Carly, So you
and Carl went out and didn't invite me. It was
like five other people there, and well, if we invited
you and they would have been looking at us like
(31:02):
how you want to invite another perfect thing? I could
have been a plus one. Okay, okay, but anyway, Yes,
So Carly and I went to school together, so we
were there with our our friends from Maryland, our girlfriends
from Maryland. So as we're like talking, everyone is going
around the table talking about Well, when I talked to
my therapist and when I really therapist. And I talked
to my therapist and I literally asked the question, I'm like,
(31:24):
so everybody here goes to therapy, and you were like,
but I'm not a therapy, maybe I should be a therapy.
It was like me and one other person and we
were both like, soy in there. But but especially from
everybody's says that's true, that's true. Yeah, So so it's
really cool. I mean, I I do feel like the
(31:45):
stigma of going to therapy and taking medication and all
of that is slowly getting lifted. And you know, I
think and I think it's just good to hear from
um the recent letter I just read, like, you know,
if someone expresses whatever it is that they're going to
that as a friend, you just be a listening ear.
Just don't judge, don't overreact, don't make it seem you know,
(32:10):
you know, if you hear a friend of suicidal, you
might want to panic, right, and but you got to
figure out how to make how to not make the
situation worse for them. And I have to say that
I personally had to work on that. Like I would
hear my girlfriend's problems, would hear how they're feeling and
would be judgmental, right, and would like give a judgmental
(32:34):
response as opposed to just shutting the hell up and
just listening and being a friend, because you're probably coming
from a point of how you know what you would
do or how you would handle things, or you know,
would you even be experiencing that, versus how can I help?
How can I help? What can I do? And actually
my kids have taught me. They didn't know they taught
(32:55):
me this, but like sometimes they just want me to listen.
There they are venting, they're going to hell off on
just like their day, what happened, how they're feeling. And
my kids are able to express their feelings a lot,
whereas when I was their age, I could not express
my feelings. I didn't have feelings. I didn't know what
I still don't have feelings. But that's a whole another story.
(33:15):
But all they want me to do, and I think
one of them said, Mom, we just want you to listen.
Like all they want me to do is listen and
not be so quick about trying to because I'm all
about like trying to find a solution and trying to
find the best way to make make things better. Um,
they don't. They don't. They don't. They don't want that.
People don't necessarily want that. They just want you to
(33:38):
know that they are supported and that you listen and
that no matter what, you love them. So I've personally
had to work on that on my side of it. Yeah,
that's good. And I feel like I'm the same because
I am. I am a very like tough, thick skinned person.
And when I do have friends that are like going
(33:58):
through stuff, you know, I kind of don't you staying like,
well just ignore it, just keep it moving, Like why
can't you just let it go? You know? But I
have to say like, okay, well how can I help you,
you know, get through this? Or um, you know what
can I do for you? Or you know, what do
you want me to say? You know what I mean,
like what do you what do you want from me?
Do you want me to listen? Do you want me
to offer you what I would do? Do you want
(34:19):
me to you know, maybe find someone for you to
talk to? You know? So I think sometimes I think,
but I think it's good. That's good Robin that you're asking,
You're asking them what they need um as opposed to
just jumping in and and and thinking that you know
what they need. Yeah, because we can't assume that everyone
is going to handle things the same way. Um So,
(34:42):
another person emailed us UM some resources, a really good resource,
another resource. Her name is Mara Wheeler and Mara UM
I appreciate you. You know I do, because she posted
something really nice about UM about us in the podcast.
But Mara works for a nonprofit called Minding Your Mind
and their website is minding your Mind dot org. Um
(35:04):
It provides mental health education and suicide prevention training in schools, communities,
and workplaces across the country. So they have a program
called Changing Minds Story Over Stigma, where young adults who
have lived through mental health crisis share their personal stories
with an audience. So you can actually hear from, you know,
people who are like um our listeners who have emailed
(35:26):
in UM and they share their stories about their mental
health challenges and challenges with suicide and everything. Um So,
the goal is to start teaching kids as young as
kindergarten how to talk about their emotions and to build resilience.
Resilience that ends the stigma around being open and honest
about mental health. Love that yes, so, she says, everyone
talks about a broken bone, heart, disease, cancer, why don't
(35:50):
they talk about other illnesses that you know, impact the
brain and so important. So this is a great website
to go to um and then she gives a very
interesting stat about suicide. She says research has shown that
of those who die from suicide have an undiagnosed or
untreated mental health disorder. The CDC estimates that for every
(36:12):
completed suicide, there are twenty five attempts when someone in
crisis is identified and guide it to receive help. Eighty
two of people that seek treatment for depression are treated
successfully using therapy and or medication. So teaching people how
(36:33):
to talk about their feelings and mental health saves lives.
So that says to me, so the people are committing
suicide haven't even been treated for depression, so they haven't
even had a chance to even talk it through or
to get on medication. And so you know, once again,
it's like if you find yourself in that dark place
and you don't know why, and that cloud is hanging
(36:53):
over you, just pause and say, let me talk to somebody,
because you could save your life, and you know, or
hopefully someone can save your life by talking to you. So, yeah,
that's really strong. So I want to play audio voice
(37:15):
men with that. We received on mental health really quickly,
but I think she just kind of hit the nail
on the head. Yes, yes, the nail on the head
at the tone. Please record your message. When you have
finished recording, you may hang up or press one for
more options. Hi Rovin, Hi Jazelle. Thank you so much
(37:39):
for addressing this important topic on your podcast. I love
the show in the podcast and it definitely helped me
to relieve a lot of stress in the past. Um,
so thank you again. Just as background on myself on
I am a wife and a mother. I was raised
by my mother, who at the time had an undiagnosed
mental illness, and they suffered some emotional movies there. I've
(38:00):
suffered with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager,
and I was diagnosed with postpartum depression right after I
had my son, and that's when I began taking antidepressants
and I've been taking them ever since. They helped me
a lot. I know that not everyone wants to take medication,
but they helped me a lot. My husband has just
been diagnosed as bipolar. UM some things that helped me personally.
(38:24):
I can't speak for everyone is taking my medication. I
appreciate the reminders from my support system, including my husband,
to take my medication at the proper time and to
not forget it. Going to the gym and getting outside
helps me a lot, and of course playing with my son.
My son inspired me to go to therapy. I've been
in therapy for six months, and to anyone who is
(38:45):
nervous about starting medication or speaking with a doctor, I
would definitely suggest seeing a therapist because talking about past trauma,
past issues, current issues can really help to resolve some
past issues might have and also has given me a
lot of clarity of my current life. In the past
six months of going to therapy, I have learned so
much about myself and I've become a lot more confident
(39:07):
and I am less depressed um overall, so I hope
this helps. Thank you again for bringing awareness to this
topic in our community. There's so much stigma and this
is my true passion in life, is bringing mental health
resources and education to those and underserved communities. Thank you again,
(39:27):
have a good day. I love that. I love that
she you know for a couple of things. One she
talked about postpartum depression, which, by the way, I feel
like I had after Grace and it was like confused,
like what is wrong with me? And couldn't get out
of it. Right. I just recently, Um, not to bring
up the genders, but Kylie Jenner just said that you know,
she's suffering. She's going through it way different from giving
(39:52):
birth to her first job, right, and so that says
like it doesn't matter who you are, how much money
you have, where you come from, like the depression and
does not escape people. And she she talked about the
gym like that's actually the thing that I feel like
helps me so much is the jam just like sometimes
you just have to get out of your your headspace, yeah,
(40:12):
to just release it, Yeah, and do whatever it is
that that you know helps you to release that. I
think it was great just to hear put like a voice,
so you know, it's great to read the emails, but
to like actually hear her voice. You can hear the
vulnerability in her voice and hopefully for people listening it,
you know, resonated with somebody. Just anything that we've said, Um,
(40:33):
we're not experts here, We're just trying to you know,
have a conversation and hopefully we've enlightened somebody and whether
it's someone that is struggling or someone that is going
is supportive of somebody that's struggling. But um, you know,
let's just just try to be a little more gentler
with each other. Now. I know you have eight tips,
(40:55):
eight tips out here in these streets to boost self confidence. Yes,
so we're gonna end on a on a motivational, yes,
positive note. I came across this really great um Instagram
page that offers all these types of like just great
motivational thing, so I'll be sharing more. We I think
we always leave on a positive note. You think so,
(41:17):
I think so. I mean we try to, like you know,
I'm sure most of the time we're laughing and joking
about something, right, Yes, alright, So I have eight easy
tricks to boost your confidence. One walk faster, throw your
shoulders back, lift up your head, move ahead a little faster,
and feel that self confidence grow. I think that's how
(41:40):
I walk right now. Yeah you do? Okay, alright, So
walk like Gisel. Yes, talk slowly. People who feel they
aren't worthy of being listened to tend to talk quickly.
So ensure that you aren't rushing. Okay. Now there's talking slowly,
and then it's talking like my dad. Okay, my dad
(42:06):
very slows, I mean gall So how are the girls? Okay?
That drives me inside. No, I know, and I feel
like that's how my parents are too. My mother takes
forever to tell a story, like she has to tell you.
So if the story is about the grocery store, like okay,
(42:27):
I went to the grocery store and I bought grapes,
she has to tell you that she first stopped at
the red light and there was a homeless man and
she gave him two dollars, and then, you know, and
then she drove, you know, two blocks down the street
and she saw a woman with a cute dress on.
You know, Like she has to tell you, like the
whole story, every little detail. And then I'm like, oh
(42:48):
my god, get to the point to the point where
I feel like I communicate. I get for the most part,
get like straight to the point. It's no like fluff.
I'm like, you know, this is it? By what else?
You like? I don't. I don't. I don't elaborate a
ton on my stories that you use no adjectives, right, Okay,
(43:09):
you straight to the point. Yeah, because my mom. Because
I sit there and listen to my mom and I'm like,
this cannot be Okay, it just can't. Okay, So talk slow,
but not that slow exactly, all right. Three Accomplish small goals.
Try making your bed in the morning. You will feel
accomplished and that will pave the way for achieving bigger goals.
(43:32):
So whether it's you know, making your bed or making
breakfast or you know, just something that you don't normally do. Um,
but just you know, instead of saying, oh my god,
I got a solve world peace or whatever, like, you know,
it's fine to have little small goals and feel that
you accomplish something. And that goes also for like starting
a business. Don't try to start the business all in
one day. It's baby steps, okay. Yes, And my advice
(43:56):
I always give this advice to business owners, like, don't
expect to two tho dollars in your first day or
in your first month. Just be happy with two hundred
dollars in your first month and then make your next
goal to be you know, so set small goals that
you know can that you can feel accomplished by. Okay. Um.
Number four dressed nicely. Yes, this may come across as cliche,
(44:20):
but when you dressed nicely, you will most likely feel
more confident. Yes, and ladies put some lip gloss on
and you know, and I hate to say it because
they hate them. But wearing heels, oh my god, that
definitely does something. You can't tell me a thing. I
got some heels on, something, my little strappy time forwards.
You can't tell me nothing. But I hate wearing him.
(44:41):
I know it's a situation. I digress really quickly. I
had on some heels is when I was in Miami
couple of weeks ago. I had drinks too much, but
I could walk to the bathroom with those heels on.
And I, for the life of me, was asking God
why he did that to us? I was like, why
did you do this to the to the ways, Hey,
(45:03):
why do we have to do that? Yeah, and it's
so crazy. I feel like as I get older, if
I drink anything, oh it's over, my feet are swelling
up like instantly. Yeah, and you can't walk, But anyway,
you take forever to get through these things. Number five,
empower yourself with knowledge. Empowering yourself in general is one
(45:24):
of the best strategies for building confidence. Yes, so read books,
read articles all that. My mother's number one saying, you
know how your mother has like a media saying, she'd
be like, knowledge is power to sell. Knowledge is power.
And I used to hate that, and now I tell
my kids knowledge power. I'll be like, O, study knowledge
(45:46):
is power. Yes, but it's so true. It's so true.
Be a front seater. Ever noticed in meetings how the
back seats? Philip First, the reason is lack of confidence, really,
or you don't know the answer, or you don't like
if you're cool, you're sitting in the backcause you'll know
the answer. I don't know, you don't do the homework.
I mean I always like to sit in the back.
(46:07):
I like to sit in the back of the bus.
But like, like if I'm on a bus, was on
a bus recently because we were on we were on
Maryland's campus and we take on a shuttle bus from
like one part of the campus to the other podcast
and just instantly you get on and you just instantly
go to the back of the bus. Or if I'm
like like on a bus from like an airport shuttle,
(46:28):
I just instantly walked all the way to the back,
but in a classroom and seeing in a classroom, it's like, yeah,
I'm going in the back because I'm going to sleep. Well,
we know, we know how you graduated from the University
of Maryland. That was episode I think anyway we're going
but no, but I get it. Yes, if you're sitting
in the front, you have no choice but to be alert,
engage and confident. Yes, that is so true. Number seven
(46:51):
practice making eye contact. Oh yes, yes, yes. Me and
Robin look at each other's eyes all the time. Now
I can say that when some he doesn't look me
in the eye. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. It's okay, it's
it's what Carly, she's talking about our friend. Oh okay,
(47:12):
y'all have okay, they have a single side joke hurt
you know, Okay, we'll tell I'll tell you, Okay, you
go tell me now. No, okay, okay, So I had
there's another. Um. If I'm out and a woman doesn't
like look at me in my eye and I'm like
saying something, I always feel like you up to something. Really,
I just i'm you're sleeping with somebody's man. I'll convince
(47:35):
any woman that does won't look you and I they're
sleeping with somebody's eyes. I mean it could be or
they could just lack confidence. Okay, they could just lack
confidence okay, or they're like ashamed because they know what
they did a week ago to your husband, or because
they're thinking about what they want to do. Yeah, that's
that that could be in too, Okay, all right, yes,
But and even due weak handshakes, yeah, we can the worst.
(47:57):
And dudes that like, I like talk to you and
they like don't really look you in the eye because
and then they're like, oh yeah, as it's so beautiful.
I just have a hard time staring into them. Boy,
you're the worst. Get out of here. Why how did
how did this this list? Let's start? Okay, anyway, what's
the last on one? Robert? Okay, practice speaking up at
every meeting. When you're in a meeting, speak, comment, make
(48:18):
a suggestion, ask a question. Okay, I don't I don't
agree with this. You don't know. I let me tell
you why. And we know this from the meetings that
we have to do that. A lot of times people
feel that way, so they phrase their hand, they say
dumb shit, and you're just wasting everybody's time. But you're
dumb ship Well, okay, don't speak up and say dumb
shit like but they think, oh, I've got to say something,
(48:40):
so and I'm gonna speak like this because the person
I'm referring to talks like this. She's very grand and
she'll say something and it's like we didn't need that, Karen.
I mean, it's like, you know, sometimes just say nothing. No,
I mean that's true, that's true. Yeah, I mean, I'm
I'm definitely of the type that's I speak when it's necessary,
(49:01):
like I'm not talking just to be talking, and don't
ask dumb questions. But but don't be intimidated to speak
up in a meeting or presentation or you know whatever.
Just you know, if you have something that's constructive to
add to the conversation, yes, speak up. Yes, okay, this
(49:21):
was good. This was good stuff. We helped Actually, all
jokes aside. We hope we helped at least one person. Um,
don't forget if you are feeling dark, if you are blue,
don't think that you can't reach out to somebody to
ask for help. Therapy is a great thing. Try to
find an outlet and just know that tomorrow will be
better than the day that you're in. Yes, absolutely, all right,
(49:44):
I mean yeah, I think I think you did that well,
I did that well. Thank you, thank you ing because
because at the beginning of this episode she was ready
to get rid of me, So thank you, Robert. Anyway,
don't never forget to live live your life, either reasonable
or shady, or about fine fine. Reasonably Shady is a
(50:13):
production of the Black Affect podcast Network. For more podcasts
from I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app,
Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,
and you can connect with us on social media at
Robin Dixon, ten Gazelle, Briant, and Reasonably Shady.
Welcome to Reasonably Shady, a production of the Black Effect
Podcast Network and I Heart Radio. Welcome to Reasonably Shady.
(00:21):
I am Gazelle Bryant. What's up? What's up everyone? This
is Robin Dixon. Thank you once again for being here. Yes,
we are still rocking and rolling. I know, I know.
And I just told Robin I would never get sick
of her, and she just informed me she can't say
the same. I just saidn't mind, just have to put
her like on mute or pause. I mean, how rude
(00:45):
is that? I know? I mean, because she's just sometimes
it's a lot. I can't. I can't be a lot sometimes.
I understand that. And Robin gets a lot of me. Okay,
she really really does. Even my kids be like my
team too much from you anyway, moving on, UM, we
would like to talk about our reasonably Shady moment of
(01:06):
the week. Do you have one? Yeah? Okay, okay, you
go for um okay, So this is gonna be a
little tam I for the squeamish guys out here. You
know where this is going. You know, my little friend,
my period came and um, my shady moment goes to
(01:30):
the tampon shortage that's going on in in this world? Like
when you started, I did not know you were going there.
There is a tampon shortage, is there really? Literally? Yes?
Like okay, you can go in and get like the
light and the regular, No, bitch, I need the ultras
like I need like heavy duty. Yes, I need super
(01:52):
Plus and Ultra and you cannot find them anywhere. Like
next next time you go on the store, look at
the shelves. They're bare, like the tampon Maxi pat shouts,
they are so bare. There in my gym. There's plethora
in my gym, but I don't want those. Those are
probably like regularly and they don't help me. Yes, So
so yeah, I'm over here like hoping that I'm not
(02:13):
walking around with some um with a leakage. Yeah. I
don't want to see any leakage either. So you need
you need an Ultra? What do we have now regular?
Right now? I was. I was able to, you know,
scrounge up some superpluses, but I had to double it
up with a Maxi pad just to like I never
have to wear pads, but like I had to like
(02:33):
put a pad on it. Okay, sorry guys, seeing too
much for the guys. But yeah, but um, but seriously,
they'n I go on Amazon to buy my ultra tampons. Nope?
Really nope. Wow, yeah, there's a tampon shortage. There's a
there's a and I heard that there was like a
peanut butter shortage. Is that true? Really? Maybe I made
that up? I made that up. Okay, there was a
(02:56):
shortage of something that I needed and I can't remember
what it was. I'm gonna remember in like twenty minutes.
But anyway, let me give you my reasonably shady moment
other week. So one is tampons, the other is we're
back to talking about my trainer. Okay, his name is Tyrone.
So Tyrone has informed me that, you know, my moments
with him in the gym are just moments. But what
(03:17):
he really wants me to do is adopt a lifestyle.
Oh yes, of course, otherwise you're wasting your time, right,
And so he has gotten me to eat salads, that's
his what he wants me to do, like eat a
salad every goddamn day with protein in it. Not necessarily
he wants he's looking more for vegetables to be in
(03:38):
my system. Okay, so you know, if you start eating
salads all the time, you just want something else to eat?
Is it's s boring? Yes, So I have decided, and
I'm not going to tell Tyrone. So y'all don't tell
him either. By the way, Tyrone is the shady moment.
Tyrone is probably listening to Tyrone better not be listening
to this part, because what I have to say is fine,
(04:00):
I'm gonna eat my damn salads and cookies, and I
have decided my new drink is nineteen forty two. So
that is my diet salads, cookies, and nineteen forty two.
So you know at this point, you're just wasting your
money with Tyrone, right right? You know Tyrone is good
(04:22):
for me, Yeah, but if you're going to eat cookies
and drink, yeah, you're wasting your time. So from what
I understand. From what I understand, nineteen forty two isn't
a cove. I've done my research or basically somebody told
me this, and it metabolizes in your system very differently
than like a vodka or a wine or a gin. Okay,
(04:44):
so it's it's basically no sugar in your body. That's
how I metabolizes. Are you sure about that. No, it
just makes you drunk, that's all. And you know sometimes
you like to be drawn a little drunk, and drunk
is good. Yes, So that's where I am. Tyrone, suck it, Okay,
get over it the end. Luck with that special diet.
Oh my gosh. Okay, So we have we have some
(05:05):
things to go over. Okay, first and foremost, they are
canceling all of our black shows out here in the streets.
I know, and I don't think I like it. Yes,
I was actually quite so. Okay, there was there's a rumor,
I don't know if it's confirmed or not at this time,
um that The Real has been canceled or it's not
being renewed, which really really that that kind of like
(05:28):
bothered me and hurt me because I actually enjoy watching
The Real. Absolutely. Those girls are fire and they're all
very opinionated, and they're smart, and I just you know,
you like to watch something and you feel like you
could be sitting in a room with them and have
fun with them exactly, and and they have a great dynamic.
And so when there was a report that they were canceled,
and then Lonnie Love said something where you know, hold
(05:50):
hold your horses, not so fast, you know. There. They
haven't anything yet, so I'm not quite sure where they
are with it, but I'm hoping that they're not canceled
because I think they are a great show. Um, and
I'm hoping they figure out how to make it work. Yeah,
and we we were on there, yes, and I and
and I'm not even saying it's just because we were
on there. Like I've I watched The Real, you know, religiously.
If I'm at home and it's twelve o'clock, the Real
(06:13):
is on my TV. So I'm hoping that they can
find and make it work and keep the ladies on
on because I don't know, I mean, I just when
I think about daytime or you know, the TV in
the morning, morning TV, daytime TV. Um, I feel like
they represent us the most for sure. I love you know,
(06:33):
people had commentary about Garcel being added to the group,
but I thought she has brought like a great mixed
to them. Um. I love some Adrian Bellion. Is that
how you say her last name? By Alon? Bylon Bellion? Okay,
I love Adrian and Jennie. You know, we've seen Jennie
say she'd never get married again. To get married, I
(06:56):
don't want any kids. So now she has a child,
like we've seen the growth of Jane. Yeah, absolutely, yes, absolutely,
so you know, so we we are asking the reel
to remain on. I don't know if that's going to help.
But also Nick Cannon, sir, he didn't last long out
here in the streets. He did it, and I thought
he was gonna I really thought that he was at
least going to make it past one season because I
(07:17):
actually I don't watch his show all the time, but
I find it to be lighthearted. Yes, and you know
when I do watch it, I enjoy it. But you know,
I think it's just rough out of here to make
these daytime talk shows. Yes, I think it. You know,
they're looking for a certain number as it relates to ratings.
It's all ratings driven. Um. I do think Nick's pants
might have been a little too tight. He just was
(07:38):
you know, when he was sitting down, he was always
standing up. Then he was sitting down standing. No his fans. Now,
I like Nick, and to be honest with you, I
was feeling like, you know, his hope. Remember he had
like a panel of men. That's something that we don't
see on television, especially like daytime television men, a bunch
(07:59):
of men giving their opinion on things. I enjoyed that.
So I wonder if the men aren't really driving things,
you know what I mean, because if you think about it,
there really aren't what other male talk shows are there
out there right now, like none, none really, So it's
like maybe the men just don't drive the day time
TV stuff. And so maybe they thought Nick was going
(08:21):
to bring enough of like the female audience, um, which
I think he does, but um, I was, you know,
disappointed to hear that for him. But you know, he's
going to be okay because we know that he has
so many different you know, businesses and things that he
has going on and jobs, and so he's fine. We're
gonna tell you to see him on our TV. Nick's
show was his side hustle. Right, He's probably relieved, you
(08:44):
know what. They might have canceled it because he was
probably like, I'm bad it is. Let me let me
do something else. Let me let's not feel sorry for
Nick Cannon because he no, no, we're not feeling, not
feeling wants a better thing. Okay. So, Robin, I think
Apple or somebody just dropped Apple just dropped a bunch
of new emojis. Oh, I know, have you seen them?
So I have. I haven't seen all of them, but
(09:07):
I'm I'm enjoying the ones that I've seen. Okay, first
and foremost, do you like emojis? Because emojis have been
around forever and people some people use them all the time,
so people don't use them right, So I remember when
they kind of like first came out, I was like,
what the hell is it? Like I was confused, like
what is this? And why? You know, it's just like
why do we need this? But now it's like, yes,
(09:27):
I definitely text with emojis. Um, you know, I'm not.
I don't like overdo it, but you know, and then
of course you have like your your go to one. Yes, Um,
I like the ones holding you're looking at something. Yeah,
I'm like that, I pulled it up but y'all can't
see it. But but we will describe to you the
emojis that we like kind of love. I like the
ones with the finger pointing at you, Like, I think
(09:48):
that's kind of like a three When when would you
use that? Like what what would be? What would you
be saying? Like not it? Like you know what I'm
saying like you're it. Yeah, okay, I like that, Like
who's who's going to go to the grocery store? You okay,
I'm feeling that. By the way, you know, we we
are Potoma Girls and our emoji is the it's like
(10:12):
a pink it looks like a cherry blossom flower. So
that's like quintessential to the Real Housewives of Tone. Yeah,
definitely use that, so we use that. I like the one, Um,
it's like the face. It's a face, he's covering the face,
but like what look peeking through with the you know,
peeking through like a peek a boo eye, like a
pickle boo eye. Yeah. I like that, And that's kind
(10:33):
of like, you know, like watching a train wreck type thing.
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, you're watching the train Wreck.
I like, Um, okay, there's some that's like a white
hand and a black hand and they're shaking hands. I
don't know when I would use that. I mean, I
feel like that requires too much thought, Like you know
what I'm saying, Like, so you would use that when
you're talking to a white person and you're happy about
what they said, and you would then I guess I'm
(10:56):
coming I guess it's okay, Like if you're like, all right,
so if you had a friend, and if you had
a white friend, and y'all were making plans on where
to eat for dinner, and then y'all y'all come to
your yes deal, right, so you're like, all right, deal.
So then you got your shaking hands with your light
skin hands and her and her white hand. Do they
have a light skin hand in the white hand? Yeah?
(11:18):
They do. There you go like this one, this would
be good, okay. And then there's a bunch of it's
like so many, so many, And then there's I guess
because of little nas X, there's a bunch of men
that are pregnant, pregnant man, pregnant man. Very interesting. Um,
and I'm trying to figure out when when would you
send that one? I don't, I don't know, okay, alright,
(11:40):
moving on, I do like, okay, so there's there's three
kidney beans. What is that for? That are together? Can
be used for several different things, really, like you can
send it to a guy and be like, so does
this look familiar? Like if you haven't had sex with
him and you want to know if his stuff is
the size of a kidney beans, so would send it
to him and you would know an advance. Really he's
(12:03):
gonna be like, yes, that would just like me. No,
he should send you back an eggplan and that would
be like, Okay, this is gonna be it's gonna be good.
But if he's like, yeah, I like kidney beans, you
know it's gonna be. There any other reason we need
the kidney beans. No, there's no other reason. Um, there's
there's someone were so random, like the slide like this,
(12:25):
like the ladder with the like a sliding board going
into the pool or even just a playground like makes
no sense to me. Um, the biting lip that's sexy?
Which one is? Oh this one? Yeah? Oh yeah, I
gotta send that one out. Okay, I do like because
me and so for just f y mean Grace. Like
if I see if we're at church, mean Grace and
(12:46):
she's like not sitting near me and I look at her,
She'll give me like half of a heart and then
I'll give her the other half. Very cute, I know.
So I like the hands, the hands that form a heart. Yes,
very cute. I'm gonna be sitting those out. Okay, So
so apple te gud so I I wish. Okay, so
for me, um, you know, I'm in a sorority. I'm
(13:07):
a Delta and our animal is an elephant. They don't
have elephant. They have an elephant, but the elephant, the
elephants trunk needs to be facing up like for it
to be like, we want our trunk to be up.
So I hate that I have to use this elephant
with the trunk down and curled under because we only
(13:29):
want the elephant trunk to be up. And I wish
I could somehow just ask them to revise it and
give me an elephant trunk facing for the for the Deltas. Yes, okay,
well I feel like i'm doing like I'm I'm violating
some sort of like sorority code when I use this
elephant of big and it's trunk is not up, so
(13:51):
they have no choice. Okay, but y'all have y'all also
do the pyramid? Right? Yeah? So is there like there's
a red triangle the red triangle? Okay, so I'll use
that sometimes, but I like the elephant. Okay, I'm here
for you. Now. Can we talk about Tyler the Creator? Why?
(14:13):
Because okay, first of all, my children, Tyler the creator.
I think is very creative. I don't know the record.
I don't have no idea who this person is. Really.
He's extremely popular with the young folks. Okay, but why, Like,
what does he do? He has music? He's yes, he's
a he's a rapper. He's got a clothing line, golf
(14:35):
clothing line, Jenny's, which is an ice cream store. Every
summer they give him his own flavor, okay, which you
know is small potatoes in comparison to his world. He
is best friends with Jaden Smith. Okay, not that that
matters either. I mean he's he's just a creative dude. Okay,
(14:55):
google him. By the way, I want to talk about him,
not because he's till of the creative, but because of
what he said, because it resonated with me. Because he's
about to go on tour. Right, So he put out
a tweet to the world and it says something like this, Yo,
if someone invites you to a show, don't effing be like,
(15:17):
can I get five passes? No is the answer. Okay,
come with your one guest and show some fin respect.
Don't e and ask for a family amount of tickets.
And you think this is a charity who raised you.
People know you're ef in place. You ain't special. Somebody
pissed him off, somebody made him real mad. But guess
(15:39):
what this I feel is an anthem. Anytime we have
a party or an event, a social gathering, there's always
that one right that brings the whole cruel crew. Leave
your crew on home. Your crew is not invited, Okay,
leave them something called home. But do you know what
(16:01):
closed mouths don't get fed. Right, So if the answer
is no, then fine, I would be embarrassed to even ask.
But I be like, yo, Okay, I told my friends
I was going, and now everybody want to go. You
got can? I can so and so and so and okay,
But his show is just like the callous for this conversation.
(16:21):
The conversation is, aren't you tired of people feeling like
they can bring Lottie Dotty and everybody. No, Lottie Dotty
and everybody first of all don't know how to act,
and not feeding them. I don't want them around. Well,
I think, okay, see that's where we differ, right, that's
where we differ. I just feel like it doesn't hurt
(16:42):
to ask, right number one. Number two, The more the
merrier depending on the scenario. It depends on what it is.
Like if okay, if it's a birthday dinner and I'm
paying for everyone, you know, and I bring in the
whole crew. But if it's like a birthday party and
it's you know, it's gonna be fifty people, they're already, Well,
what difference is fifty five? Mate? No? Them five need
(17:07):
to stay at home. And I don't like when people
feel like I don't know your friends and just because
your friends are friends with you does not mean their
friends with me. Well, right, I mean that's true. It's
just I mean, I feel like it's it just depends
on the scenario. It doesn't hurt to ask, So like
if he says no, then okay, all right, I'm coming
by myself right now, I'm coming, right, Yes, I'm coming.
(17:30):
But how many? But I've I've been. There's been so
many scenarios in which I could have been, like, yo,
can I bring three more people or five more people
or eight more people? I would never do that, I mean, right,
And who wants to roll that deep? Anyway? Yes? And
if you got to be a response, and then y'all
have to coordinate, y'all got to wear matching socks. I mean,
(17:50):
it's just gets to be too much. Oh my god,
I don't. I mean, I personally just don't want to
roll that deep because that's just it's just too much.
Like yeah, pick your one or two. I mean some
times you might want to bring it a second person, right,
you know, no, not really just one. No, like we okay,
for instance, like me and Robin we roll deep, we
gotta squeeze Carly and sometimes and you know, sometimes we
(18:12):
don't want to, like, well, we gotta squeeze her in.
So it's like I guess we we are at fault too.
There you go, there you go. We gotta you know,
we ain't hurt no body. No, we didn't, but you know,
cheeze Louise. But somebody pissed them off right before then.
But you know what, it's funny. It reminds me of
like when Sean was playing in the n b A
and you know, people would be like, hey, can I
(18:35):
get tickets? And I'm like, uh, the box office is
not closed, right, the box office is open opens that eight.
You're a ticket, go by it. It's just like it
would it would just be like I don't know, I
mean certain scenarios, yeah, because maybe they're sold out and
you know, you only have you know, all the players
get their four tickets, so it doesn't hurt to ask.
(18:56):
But then sometimes it's just like when you know the
games aren't sold out, you know what I mean, when
it's like okay, and and if it's like a whole
bunch of people trying to come, somebody needs are just yes.
Now I can't say that I have done this speaking
of tickets. Um for instance, like Erica's has been Kevin,
(19:17):
he has access to tickets. So I'll say, look, I'm
gonna pay for my tickets, but I just wanted two
good seats right at your price? Right? Yeah? Well no, no,
well yeah, but I mean I don't I don't. I
don't mind spending my money, but I would never be like, yo,
you know my people want to roll through. Well yeah, yeah,
(19:39):
not cool. Okay, this this is this is kind of
off topic really quickly, but I want to read this
because it's kind of actually happened to me. So a
couple of weeks ago, we Um talked about people and
how they knew that the person that they were dealing
with was not the one. Okay, So this one one woman,
Megan Thomas, she wrote in and she said he was
(20:00):
gone one weekend for a quote family reunion. Then he
came back and told me so nonchalantly that he got
engaged and wanted to show me the damn ring. Why
so your boo goes away for our family reunion, he
comes back and he's engaged. What Okay, there's like a
(20:24):
whole big part of this story that we're missing. That's
all she gave us. That's all she gave us. But
I can say that Gizelle was dating this dude casually,
right casually, And let's say I was. I was with
him on a particular weekend. Ten days later he was
engaged really to someone else. He told you this when
(20:46):
you found out, like through the news or something. I
found announcement. I found out, but it wasn't I wasn't mad,
Like I mean, I would have never married this dude.
Like we were just kicking it. But like he could
have said something right, But at that so at the
time your cash really dating him, you had no clue
that that was that he was even in a relationship. No, wow,
I knew that. The So the girl that he ended
(21:08):
up marrying I knew that they had dated prior, like
a long time ago. I didn't know they're back together
and he Ba hall Ring, Oh my god, crazy. Did
you talk to him after you found out? I did
with I mean, I wished him well. I was like congratulations.
I didn't even it was all it's like nothing at
no point and even like getting mad, because I wasn't
(21:29):
even mad. The only part that I was kind of
like whoa. It was like you, I was just what
you do? You could have told me this, but then
maybe maybe you were like the last hurrah, I think so,
which has happened to me four times? Okay, by the way, okay,
there's four dudes that came back around like, yo, I'm
about to get married, and I was just wonder if
we could, like, you know, spend some time together before
(21:50):
I get married. I promise you four times about to
get married, not about to get engaged, about to get married,
like the wedding was like you know, the next weekend,
and what was your answer? I I cannot tell that
on this podcast because it depends on how it was
when we would have got you know what I'm saying,
you know, it depends on if it was an eggplant
or Okay, So that means the answer was not no.
(22:16):
I'm just saying, but guess what I think, get married,
you off limits. I say you are single until you
get married. Okay, anyway, moving on to you. Don't you
don't feel bad about being like somebody's like scraps? Well no,
because I look at it like maybe I wanted to
see you one more time before or off the market. Yes,
and I really wasn't was our side piece at the time.
(22:37):
I guess for that night. Maybe. Okay, we're changing the subject.
This is terrible. This is back in my twenties. Okay, okay, fine,
it was last week anyway, going on so weeks ago,
we talked about um, God bless her soul, Chestlee Chris,
who committed suicide. She's just abuse beautiful specimen, a beautiful
(23:01):
human being. Everything that we saw publicly right just she
was like a court Um, what do you call those people?
Queen responded, she was a correspondent, she was she was
a pageant queen, and she just seemed like like so lighthearted, beautiful,
beautiful spirit, always positive, and then she committed suicide. So
(23:21):
we were asking you guys to give us your stories
and your thoughts on depression and maybe even give us
some tools that we can help provide so that this
does not happen again. And and I want to forewarn
I guess this is a trigger warning for some. So
if this is a topic that you know is very
(23:43):
delicate for you, this is a trigger warning, and you
can turn off. But I hope everyone listens, and um,
here's listens to people's stories and listens to ways to
be supportive of others who are who are in this
situation and how to overcome. I'm not going to give
the person I'm gonna read a story. I'm not gonna
give the person's name just for her anonymity, but she says, Hi,
(24:07):
Robin and Giselle, I wanted to share my depression story
that almost led to suicide. I had severe depression as
a team due to bullying both at school and at home.
I felt like there was no release or safe space,
and having no release, I began cutting. I tried to
find a release in writing poetry, but my mother took
that and used it against me with my therapist and
(24:29):
repeatedly told me I was crazy. Then I began cutting
deeper and more frequently, and ultimately decided there was no
way out, so I cut my face, my wrists, and stomach,
and then locked myself in the bathroom, hoping I could
die in peace. Thankfully, thankfully, my mother found me passed out,
and I was taken to the emergency room and did
(24:50):
a two week stint in the psych ward. During this time,
all I was looking for was someone to love me,
someone to tell me just because was different or bigger,
that I wasn't fat, I wasn't ugly. I was exactly
as God intended me to be. When you're depressed, reassurance
and praise go a long way. Oftentimes, depressed people don't
(25:12):
want to talk about what they are going through because
they don't want to burden others. I felt that exact way,
and I still do, and I'm thankful that I was
able to grow past oppression and get to a place
where I truly believe I am awesome. And then she
says that she thinks that it's great that Rob and
I are using our platform to talk about this. Um,
(25:35):
this is actually a great story because she got to
the other side right and um, you know, it sounds
like in her story she didn't have the support. You know,
she mentioned her mother, she didn't really have she wasn't
getting the love that she needed maybe from her mother,
or her mother wasn't taking her needs seriously. And we're
(25:56):
no expert here and now you know, so we're just
trying to talk through. But UM, I just think anyone
just sharing, just giving love to anyone around you is
so important. And I think people don't realize how important
it is for people to feel loved and to feel
acknowledged and listen and heard and recognized. And so you know,
(26:18):
just as you are in your daily lives with your
family and your friends, UM, make sure the people are
around you who spend their time with you know that
you love them and that you care for them. UM.
And you just never know how how much of a
world of a difference you can make for them. UM.
I want to offer some resources as we read these, UM,
just for people to look up. UM website this the
(26:42):
American Association of Suicideology that's www Dot suicide Alogy dot org.
The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention that's www Dot a
f SP dot org. UM, and we're going to read
another one and offer some more resources. UM. Hey, Robin
(27:03):
and Gisel. First off, I want to say, I love
your podcast and I love the two of you. You
guys are such a beautiful example of female friendship and
it's so freaking refreshing. I feel like I'm hanging out
with my girlfriends when I listen to your show. Thanks
for being hilarious and inspiring. Um, thank you for that.
On a more serious note, I wanted to reply to
your question in the last episode regarding depression, suicide, and
(27:24):
self harm. I've struggled with depression for about twelve years now,
been on antidepressants for most of that time, and although
I'm happy to say that I'm doing very well most
of the time, I still get hit with bouts of
it now and again. My grandfather committed suicide before I
was born, so it's always been something my family has
discussed openly, which I really appreciate. I learned from a
young age that people who commit suicide are not bad
(27:47):
people or have something to hide. They are just hurting
and tired. I've never attempted suicide, thankfully, but I've definitely
gone through times where I considered it. On those days,
the world feel so dark. It's like a cloud that
hangs over you that you can't see your way through,
no matter what anyone else says, no matter what you
(28:09):
know to be true. For me, it's like the hurt
and darkness is so deep that you just wanted to end,
Like you've just got to escape it, and you can't
see any other way. When I was younger, I used
to deal with that pain by cutting. Somehow it felt
like I could transfer the emotional pain into physical pain,
(28:30):
and that was somehow easier to bear. But I'm happy
to say that I haven't cut one single time since
two thousand eighteen. The letter goes on, but I wanted
to pause and say, I think this is so important
to hear um someone actually describing you know, what is
going through their their mind or their thought process when
they are considering suicide. UM. And just know, you know
(28:53):
if you get to these places where it's dark and
that you feel like a cloud is hanging over over you,
that you can get through to it. UM. I want
to continue with the letter. For me, the most importive
thing that the people around me can do is to
not judge and not and to not act scared of me.
If I tell a friend that I've been struggling or
had suicidal thoughts, It's important that they stay calm and
(29:15):
talk it through with me. If they start hyperventilating and
freaking out all over the place, I'm just not going
to share it with them. In the situation will get worse.
On the other hand, if a friend treats me like
when I'm a normal human being who's having a hard time,
I'll be much more apt to open up and actually
be able to see away through that dark cloud. I
(29:35):
also think it's really important that we don't judge people
for taking medication that helps them stay balanced. The world
is getting better about this, but I still get jabbed
sometimes from friends saying things like, oh, I would never
take pills, as though doing so somehow makes me lesser.
It's basically saying I didn't try hard enough, which is
a pretty shitty thing to say to a friend, even
(29:56):
if they mean well. I'm also a huge fan of therapy,
a yoga teacher, and I've tried every meditation practice under
the sun, but those things alone weren't enough in my case.
Sometimes you just need medications anyway. Thank you for reading
this novel of an answer. Thank you for using your
platform to talk about these kinds of issues and help
(30:17):
bring more understanding to people. It can be an uncomfortable
topics are really come into both of you for taking on.
Thanks for all you do. Yeah, I And we've talked
about therapy on this show before and how important it
is and how I'm happy that, Like now, I feel
like culture and society has gotten to a place where
it's not like a bad word, and it's not looked
upon as like something that is not common. It's very common.
(30:41):
The more people I talked to, the more people I meet,
the more people I know are in therapy. Yeah. Yeah,
you know, it's so funny. I was. I was out
to dinner the other day with um. It might have
been seven of us at the table. Carly, So you
and Carl went out and didn't invite me. It was
like five other people there, and well, if we invited
you and they would have been looking at us like
(31:02):
how you want to invite another perfect thing? I could
have been a plus one. Okay, okay, but anyway, Yes,
So Carly and I went to school together, so we
were there with our our friends from Maryland, our girlfriends
from Maryland. So as we're like talking, everyone is going
around the table talking about Well, when I talked to
my therapist and when I really therapist. And I talked
to my therapist and I literally asked the question, I'm like,
(31:24):
so everybody here goes to therapy, and you were like,
but I'm not a therapy, maybe I should be a therapy.
It was like me and one other person and we
were both like, soy in there. But but especially from
everybody's says that's true, that's true. Yeah, So so it's
really cool. I mean, I I do feel like the
(31:45):
stigma of going to therapy and taking medication and all
of that is slowly getting lifted. And you know, I
think and I think it's just good to hear from
um the recent letter I just read, like, you know,
if someone expresses whatever it is that they're going to
that as a friend, you just be a listening ear.
Just don't judge, don't overreact, don't make it seem you know,
(32:10):
you know, if you hear a friend of suicidal, you
might want to panic, right, and but you got to
figure out how to make how to not make the
situation worse for them. And I have to say that
I personally had to work on that. Like I would
hear my girlfriend's problems, would hear how they're feeling and
would be judgmental, right, and would like give a judgmental
(32:34):
response as opposed to just shutting the hell up and
just listening and being a friend, because you're probably coming
from a point of how you know what you would
do or how you would handle things, or you know,
would you even be experiencing that, versus how can I help?
How can I help? What can I do? And actually
my kids have taught me. They didn't know they taught
(32:55):
me this, but like sometimes they just want me to listen.
There they are venting, they're going to hell off on
just like their day, what happened, how they're feeling. And
my kids are able to express their feelings a lot,
whereas when I was their age, I could not express
my feelings. I didn't have feelings. I didn't know what
I still don't have feelings. But that's a whole another story.
(33:15):
But all they want me to do, and I think
one of them said, Mom, we just want you to listen.
Like all they want me to do is listen and
not be so quick about trying to because I'm all
about like trying to find a solution and trying to
find the best way to make make things better. Um,
they don't. They don't. They don't. They don't want that.
People don't necessarily want that. They just want you to
(33:38):
know that they are supported and that you listen and
that no matter what, you love them. So I've personally
had to work on that on my side of it. Yeah,
that's good. And I feel like I'm the same because
I am. I am a very like tough, thick skinned person.
And when I do have friends that are like going
(33:58):
through stuff, you know, I kind of don't you staying like,
well just ignore it, just keep it moving, Like why
can't you just let it go? You know? But I
have to say like, okay, well how can I help you,
you know, get through this? Or um, you know what
can I do for you? Or you know, what do
you want me to say? You know what I mean,
like what do you what do you want from me?
Do you want me to listen? Do you want me
to offer you what I would do? Do you want
(34:19):
me to you know, maybe find someone for you to
talk to? You know? So I think sometimes I think,
but I think it's good. That's good Robin that you're asking,
You're asking them what they need um as opposed to
just jumping in and and and thinking that you know
what they need. Yeah, because we can't assume that everyone
is going to handle things the same way. Um So,
(34:42):
another person emailed us UM some resources, a really good resource,
another resource. Her name is Mara Wheeler and Mara UM
I appreciate you. You know I do, because she posted
something really nice about UM about us in the podcast.
But Mara works for a nonprofit called Minding Your Mind
and their website is minding your Mind dot org. Um
(35:04):
It provides mental health education and suicide prevention training in schools, communities,
and workplaces across the country. So they have a program
called Changing Minds Story Over Stigma, where young adults who
have lived through mental health crisis share their personal stories
with an audience. So you can actually hear from, you know,
people who are like um our listeners who have emailed
(35:26):
in UM and they share their stories about their mental
health challenges and challenges with suicide and everything. Um So,
the goal is to start teaching kids as young as
kindergarten how to talk about their emotions and to build resilience.
Resilience that ends the stigma around being open and honest
about mental health. Love that yes, so, she says, everyone
talks about a broken bone, heart, disease, cancer, why don't
(35:50):
they talk about other illnesses that you know, impact the
brain and so important. So this is a great website
to go to um and then she gives a very
interesting stat about suicide. She says research has shown that
of those who die from suicide have an undiagnosed or
untreated mental health disorder. The CDC estimates that for every
(36:12):
completed suicide, there are twenty five attempts when someone in
crisis is identified and guide it to receive help. Eighty
two of people that seek treatment for depression are treated
successfully using therapy and or medication. So teaching people how
(36:33):
to talk about their feelings and mental health saves lives.
So that says to me, so the people are committing
suicide haven't even been treated for depression, so they haven't
even had a chance to even talk it through or
to get on medication. And so you know, once again,
it's like if you find yourself in that dark place
and you don't know why, and that cloud is hanging
(36:53):
over you, just pause and say, let me talk to somebody,
because you could save your life, and you know, or
hopefully someone can save your life by talking to you. So, yeah,
that's really strong. So I want to play audio voice
(37:15):
men with that. We received on mental health really quickly,
but I think she just kind of hit the nail
on the head. Yes, yes, the nail on the head
at the tone. Please record your message. When you have
finished recording, you may hang up or press one for
more options. Hi Rovin, Hi Jazelle. Thank you so much
(37:39):
for addressing this important topic on your podcast. I love
the show in the podcast and it definitely helped me
to relieve a lot of stress in the past. Um,
so thank you again. Just as background on myself on
I am a wife and a mother. I was raised
by my mother, who at the time had an undiagnosed
mental illness, and they suffered some emotional movies there. I've
(38:00):
suffered with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager,
and I was diagnosed with postpartum depression right after I
had my son, and that's when I began taking antidepressants
and I've been taking them ever since. They helped me
a lot. I know that not everyone wants to take medication,
but they helped me a lot. My husband has just
been diagnosed as bipolar. UM some things that helped me personally.
(38:24):
I can't speak for everyone is taking my medication. I
appreciate the reminders from my support system, including my husband,
to take my medication at the proper time and to
not forget it. Going to the gym and getting outside
helps me a lot, and of course playing with my son.
My son inspired me to go to therapy. I've been
in therapy for six months, and to anyone who is
(38:45):
nervous about starting medication or speaking with a doctor, I
would definitely suggest seeing a therapist because talking about past trauma,
past issues, current issues can really help to resolve some
past issues might have and also has given me a
lot of clarity of my current life. In the past
six months of going to therapy, I have learned so
much about myself and I've become a lot more confident
(39:07):
and I am less depressed um overall, so I hope
this helps. Thank you again for bringing awareness to this
topic in our community. There's so much stigma and this
is my true passion in life, is bringing mental health
resources and education to those and underserved communities. Thank you again,
(39:27):
have a good day. I love that. I love that
she you know for a couple of things. One she
talked about postpartum depression, which, by the way, I feel
like I had after Grace and it was like confused,
like what is wrong with me? And couldn't get out
of it. Right. I just recently, Um, not to bring
up the genders, but Kylie Jenner just said that you know,
she's suffering. She's going through it way different from giving
(39:52):
birth to her first job, right, and so that says
like it doesn't matter who you are, how much money
you have, where you come from, like the depression and
does not escape people. And she she talked about the
gym like that's actually the thing that I feel like
helps me so much is the jam just like sometimes
you just have to get out of your your headspace, yeah,
(40:12):
to just release it, Yeah, and do whatever it is
that that you know helps you to release that. I
think it was great just to hear put like a voice,
so you know, it's great to read the emails, but
to like actually hear her voice. You can hear the
vulnerability in her voice and hopefully for people listening it,
you know, resonated with somebody. Just anything that we've said, Um,
(40:33):
we're not experts here, We're just trying to you know,
have a conversation and hopefully we've enlightened somebody and whether
it's someone that is struggling or someone that is going
is supportive of somebody that's struggling. But um, you know,
let's just just try to be a little more gentler
with each other. Now. I know you have eight tips,
(40:55):
eight tips out here in these streets to boost self confidence. Yes,
so we're gonna end on a on a motivational, yes,
positive note. I came across this really great um Instagram
page that offers all these types of like just great
motivational thing, so I'll be sharing more. We I think
we always leave on a positive note. You think so,
(41:17):
I think so. I mean we try to, like you know,
I'm sure most of the time we're laughing and joking
about something, right, Yes, alright, So I have eight easy
tricks to boost your confidence. One walk faster, throw your
shoulders back, lift up your head, move ahead a little faster,
and feel that self confidence grow. I think that's how
(41:40):
I walk right now. Yeah you do? Okay, alright, So
walk like Gisel. Yes, talk slowly. People who feel they
aren't worthy of being listened to tend to talk quickly.
So ensure that you aren't rushing. Okay. Now there's talking slowly,
and then it's talking like my dad. Okay, my dad
(42:06):
very slows, I mean gall So how are the girls? Okay?
That drives me inside. No, I know, and I feel
like that's how my parents are too. My mother takes
forever to tell a story, like she has to tell you.
So if the story is about the grocery store, like okay,
(42:27):
I went to the grocery store and I bought grapes,
she has to tell you that she first stopped at
the red light and there was a homeless man and
she gave him two dollars, and then, you know, and
then she drove, you know, two blocks down the street
and she saw a woman with a cute dress on.
You know, Like she has to tell you, like the
whole story, every little detail. And then I'm like, oh
(42:48):
my god, get to the point to the point where
I feel like I communicate. I get for the most part,
get like straight to the point. It's no like fluff.
I'm like, you know, this is it? By what else?
You like? I don't. I don't. I don't elaborate a
ton on my stories that you use no adjectives, right, Okay,
(43:09):
you straight to the point. Yeah, because my mom. Because
I sit there and listen to my mom and I'm like,
this cannot be Okay, it just can't. Okay, So talk slow,
but not that slow exactly, all right. Three Accomplish small goals.
Try making your bed in the morning. You will feel
accomplished and that will pave the way for achieving bigger goals.
(43:32):
So whether it's you know, making your bed or making
breakfast or you know, just something that you don't normally do. Um,
but just you know, instead of saying, oh my god,
I got a solve world peace or whatever, like, you know,
it's fine to have little small goals and feel that
you accomplish something. And that goes also for like starting
a business. Don't try to start the business all in
one day. It's baby steps, okay. Yes, And my advice
(43:56):
I always give this advice to business owners, like, don't
expect to two tho dollars in your first day or
in your first month. Just be happy with two hundred
dollars in your first month and then make your next
goal to be you know, so set small goals that
you know can that you can feel accomplished by. Okay. Um.
Number four dressed nicely. Yes, this may come across as cliche,
(44:20):
but when you dressed nicely, you will most likely feel
more confident. Yes, and ladies put some lip gloss on
and you know, and I hate to say it because
they hate them. But wearing heels, oh my god, that
definitely does something. You can't tell me a thing. I
got some heels on, something, my little strappy time forwards.
You can't tell me nothing. But I hate wearing him.
(44:41):
I know it's a situation. I digress really quickly. I
had on some heels is when I was in Miami
couple of weeks ago. I had drinks too much, but
I could walk to the bathroom with those heels on.
And I, for the life of me, was asking God
why he did that to us? I was like, why
did you do this to the to the ways, Hey,
(45:03):
why do we have to do that? Yeah, and it's
so crazy. I feel like as I get older, if
I drink anything, oh it's over, my feet are swelling
up like instantly. Yeah, and you can't walk, But anyway,
you take forever to get through these things. Number five,
empower yourself with knowledge. Empowering yourself in general is one
(45:24):
of the best strategies for building confidence. Yes, so read books,
read articles all that. My mother's number one saying, you
know how your mother has like a media saying, she'd
be like, knowledge is power to sell. Knowledge is power.
And I used to hate that, and now I tell
my kids knowledge power. I'll be like, O, study knowledge
(45:46):
is power. Yes, but it's so true. It's so true.
Be a front seater. Ever noticed in meetings how the
back seats? Philip First, the reason is lack of confidence, really,
or you don't know the answer, or you don't like
if you're cool, you're sitting in the backcause you'll know
the answer. I don't know, you don't do the homework.
I mean I always like to sit in the back.
(46:07):
I like to sit in the back of the bus.
But like, like if I'm on a bus, was on
a bus recently because we were on we were on
Maryland's campus and we take on a shuttle bus from
like one part of the campus to the other podcast
and just instantly you get on and you just instantly
go to the back of the bus. Or if I'm
like like on a bus from like an airport shuttle,
(46:28):
I just instantly walked all the way to the back,
but in a classroom and seeing in a classroom, it's like, yeah,
I'm going in the back because I'm going to sleep. Well,
we know, we know how you graduated from the University
of Maryland. That was episode I think anyway we're going
but no, but I get it. Yes, if you're sitting
in the front, you have no choice but to be alert,
engage and confident. Yes, that is so true. Number seven
(46:51):
practice making eye contact. Oh yes, yes, yes. Me and
Robin look at each other's eyes all the time. Now
I can say that when some he doesn't look me
in the eye. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. It's okay, it's
it's what Carly, she's talking about our friend. Oh okay,
(47:12):
y'all have okay, they have a single side joke hurt
you know, Okay, we'll tell I'll tell you, Okay, you
go tell me now. No, okay, okay, So I had
there's another. Um. If I'm out and a woman doesn't
like look at me in my eye and I'm like
saying something, I always feel like you up to something. Really,
I just i'm you're sleeping with somebody's man. I'll convince
(47:35):
any woman that does won't look you and I they're
sleeping with somebody's eyes. I mean it could be or
they could just lack confidence. Okay, they could just lack
confidence okay, or they're like ashamed because they know what
they did a week ago to your husband, or because
they're thinking about what they want to do. Yeah, that's
that that could be in too, Okay, all right, yes,
But and even due weak handshakes, yeah, we can the worst.
(47:57):
And dudes that like, I like talk to you and
they like don't really look you in the eye because
and then they're like, oh yeah, as it's so beautiful.
I just have a hard time staring into them. Boy,
you're the worst. Get out of here. Why how did
how did this this list? Let's start? Okay, anyway, what's
the last on one? Robert? Okay, practice speaking up at
every meeting. When you're in a meeting, speak, comment, make
(48:18):
a suggestion, ask a question. Okay, I don't I don't
agree with this. You don't know. I let me tell
you why. And we know this from the meetings that
we have to do that. A lot of times people
feel that way, so they phrase their hand, they say
dumb shit, and you're just wasting everybody's time. But you're
dumb ship Well, okay, don't speak up and say dumb
shit like but they think, oh, I've got to say something,
(48:40):
so and I'm gonna speak like this because the person
I'm referring to talks like this. She's very grand and
she'll say something and it's like we didn't need that, Karen.
I mean, it's like, you know, sometimes just say nothing. No,
I mean that's true, that's true. Yeah, I mean, I'm
I'm definitely of the type that's I speak when it's necessary,
(49:01):
like I'm not talking just to be talking, and don't
ask dumb questions. But but don't be intimidated to speak
up in a meeting or presentation or you know whatever.
Just you know, if you have something that's constructive to
add to the conversation, yes, speak up. Yes, okay, this
(49:21):
was good. This was good stuff. We helped Actually, all
jokes aside. We hope we helped at least one person. Um,
don't forget if you are feeling dark, if you are blue,
don't think that you can't reach out to somebody to
ask for help. Therapy is a great thing. Try to
find an outlet and just know that tomorrow will be
better than the day that you're in. Yes, absolutely, all right,
(49:44):
I mean yeah, I think I think you did that well,
I did that well. Thank you, thank you ing because
because at the beginning of this episode she was ready
to get rid of me, So thank you, Robert. Anyway,
don't never forget to live live your life, either reasonable
or shady, or about fine fine. Reasonably Shady is a
(50:13):
production of the Black Affect podcast Network. For more podcasts
from I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app,
Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,
and you can connect with us on social media at
Robin Dixon, ten Gazelle, Briant, and Reasonably Shady.
Hosts And Creators
Robyn Dixon
Gizelle Bryant
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