February 15, 2022 • 55 mins
A man, a plan, a Lamborghini. It was pretty bold to steal the luxury sports car of Guy Fieri, Mayor of Flavor Town. It was even bolder to drive the bright yellow performance vehicle around for months, evading capture and enjoying the ride right out in the open. But just like bold flavors, bold behavior fades over time. The clever thief was eventually apprehended, and his identity was about as surprising as a Guy Fieri dinner without Donkey Sauce.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Ridiculous Crime is a production of our Heart Radio. Elizabeth.
You know what's ridiculous. Yeah, I'll tell you what's ridiculous.
The inflatable furniture craze of the late nineties that was
ridiculous and increasingly dangerous, right. I mean that's somebody keeps
like knives and stuff in my pockets and keys, and
I just like to just drop my weight down things disaster. Oh,
(00:24):
I've been breaking my taible on every other day. That's
a good ridiculousness. But I got one for you, and
it features one of your favorite people who It's not
the Pope, not Elvis impersonators, I know, and it's also
not Chewbacco. But you'll like this one, Okay. Around four
(00:46):
thirty a m. In the morning on March two thousand eleven,
a sixteen year old boy named Max Wade repelled down
into the British Motors dealership in San Francisco. It's a
luxury auto dealership. They have fatly lambos lotuses like all
those nice big cars. Right, A sixteen year old boys
dream place to break in. Now, Max Wade. He drops
(01:10):
down out of the roof, lands inside the showroom with
all the dream cars around him. He looks around, he
goes m which one should I take? He doesn't choose
a Bentley, doesn't choose a Lotus, doesn't choose any of
the cars you would expect him to take unless you
knew that there was one particular car in the showroom,
and you would know that's the car he's gonna take, right,
(01:31):
So instead, sixteen year old Max Wade decides to steal
the yellow and black two thousand eight Lamborghini. Guillardo Spider
valued it over two hundred thousand dollars. Yellow and black Lamborghini.
Oh yeah, yellow and black like a like a high
speed bumblebee. Yeah. But do you know why it was
yellow and black because it had a very unique owner.
(01:52):
The owner you know him as Guy Fieri. Yes, Max
Wade stole a Guy fee Eddies lamboy, and not only that,
he gets away with it. For the next few days,
he's driving Guy Eddie's Lambeau all around the Bay Area.
Six year old boy the audacity. Oh yeah, and this
(02:13):
crime that's just the tip of this ridiculous iceberg. So
get ready for a good one. I'm ready, all right, y'all.
(02:40):
This is Ridiculous Crime. A podcast about absurd and outrageous capers,
heists and cons. It's always murder free and ridiculous. I'm
Zarin Burnett, I'm Elizabeth Dutton, and we are here to
hit you with the ridiculous. Okay, Now you know how
two thousand eleven was only like ten years ago? Was it? Yeah?
(03:04):
Ten years ago a full decade, but in more ways
than time, it was very much a different time. Back down,
just to give you a sense of the culture. In
two thousand eleven, Harry Potter and the Deathly House is
the most watch movie of that year, huge blockbuster. Right.
Also we have Transformers, Dark of the Moon, the Twilight
Saga Breaking Down. These are the one, two, and three
most popular movies. Now number four or five and six
(03:24):
are The Hangover Part two, Pirates of the Caribbean On
Stranger Tides, Fast five of the Fast and the Furious Movies,
and lastly at the seventh spot is Cars Too. Now
do you know what all those movies have in common?
Gritty realism only if you're friend, intense character study, amazing
(03:47):
acting work. No, all of those movies have one thing
in common, which is they have teenagers changing the world
if you think about it, right, Pirates, Breaking Dot whatever
the light movies, transformers, young people totally other ones, criminals
getting away with it super fast. This is the swirl
(04:08):
of culture spinning around young adolescent Max Wade. It is
a wild and reckless time. Now we live in a pandemic.
We don't think being reckless is cool anymore, not Max Wade.
So picture it. Max Wade is on the roof of
the luxury car dealership. Now he lifts open the rooftop
(04:31):
like hatch, fixes his rope and he repels down to
the floor of the car dealership just like that. Now
he's in there in the show room like an adolescent
cat burglar, and he's like, Okay, I'm gonna no wait.
You have to also keep in mind with this kid,
(04:52):
Max Wade. The kids sixteen, He's never repelled before. This
is not like some kid who grew up on the
side of a mountain. He was like working with rocks.
Looked it up on Google. He just looked over what
did he google? Oh dude, he Google's Mission impossible style.
Repelling literally's like why did Tom Cruise do that? Time?
(05:14):
You know? But that's the confidence of a sixteen year
old boy. They're like, I can do what Tom Cruise
did in that movie. I'm gonna go in and get
me one of them, guy Fiery Lambo's I don't know
why he sucks like that because he's from Marine County
at all. He was feeling a little bit of sauce. Spicy.
Oh yeah, like extra sauce. I mean, the boy was
(05:35):
basically he's just like a walking dipping sauce. This kid,
he's just flavored. Guy here, he probably would have like
donkey sauce. Oh, it starts already, it's already okay. So
this kid he breaks in, he's walking around the show room,
takes hi about fifteen minutes to get to his like
lay of the land. And then now the detectives who
have watched the surveillance video, they noticed that he seems
(05:55):
to be talking on this like two way radio. He's
all secrets of his front door to patio coming in,
brandigade coming in, brandigade coming in. But he's just talking
to himself. Well, we don't know that because there was
a janitor who was working. This is like four thirty
in the morning. Now, most of the times janitors that
this showroom don't show up to like five six in
(06:15):
the morning, right, this guy is there way before his shift,
which is way suspicious. So these two don't interact them.
But then again, maybe that's the need for the radio.
Maybe the janitor is his lookout. We don't know, because
get this, after the break in, janitor disappears, never to
be seen again. Wait, like missing persons go on, just cuts,
(06:38):
doesn't come back to work, doesn't get his last check,
nobody ever sees him again. What if he was like
one of those stowaway people who like climb into the
wheel well of a plane and then it takes off,
but he was actually like underneath the Lamborghini and then
Max drove off and he's just like little bits of
him are up and down the highways. That is terrific
(06:59):
to pick. Yeah, but it explains it. It does explain
that right on that the logic is next. Next, so
our boy Max Wade, he sees this yellow and black
aforementioned guy Fieri Lambeau, so of course that's the car
(07:21):
he's gonna take. He breaks in, which, by the way,
he had also googled how to break cars. So you
can learn anything on YouTube. I'm telling you, between YouTube
and Google, there ain't a single thing that you can't find.
I can you have like a I don't know, nineteen
sixty seven Toyota land Cruiser and you need to change
the spark plugs. Check YouTube. There's gonna be somebody. They're going,
(07:41):
here's my nineteen sixty seven, and I can change the
spark book. It's amazing and it's also good for sixteen
year old criminals. Perfect. So Max Wade gets his full
on YouTube education and manages to get this car out
of the dealership. He cuts through the locks, he disables
the security, he opens the roll top door, and he
(08:01):
drives right out of the One Man Crimes. Max Wade
is no joke, but oddly, my man Max Wade. He
leaves behind his bag of tools. Now his tools are
belt cutters, I'm sorry bout cutting some belts, spenders, snippers,
(08:21):
and his bag of tools he has bolt cutters, a
prye bar, climbing gear, and of course the rope that
he used to repel. Now, this kid, although seems like
he's kind of reckless and kind of forgetful, he still
is able to pull off like basically the crime of
his young century, and he gets away with it by
(08:41):
I don't know, like five am. He's on the road
gone and at that same time, you gotta wonder, where's
Guy Fiery. What's Guy Fiery doing? I mean, I know
I always think that, but what do you think he's
doing at that time? Well, I would have to check
my surveillance camera of him. Yeah, he's probably like snuggled
(09:02):
in bed, just tucked away, dreaming of fried goods, just
dripping donkey sauce on his chest. He was asleep in
a vat of donkey sauce. He sleeps on a like
a pool noodle floating and in a bowl of donkey
sauce on a waterbed filled with doncus. No, actually he
was in Chicago. Oh yeah, he was filming s pretty
(09:25):
much the same thing. Yeah, Beantown, So they just have
that big bean anyway, putting that aside, So Guy Theories
in Chicago, he's filming his show Triple d Diners Drive
ins and Diners drive ins and dive. Dash cams close.
Let me see I get this right. The third time
(09:45):
Diners drive ins and dives. There we go. Okay, So
he's filming in Chicago. But because he's like on set,
he's like busy doing his thing or like I don't
know what Guy Theory considers busy but whatever. He's in Chicago.
He gets a phone call. It's his friends. Now, his
friends are like, hey, man, are you in town? I
just saw your Lambeau cruise by. He's all new it
broish Chicago filming diners, drive ins and dib is. They're like,
(10:11):
this isn't and then I like really quickly hang up
long number. So he's getting these calls from his friends. Now,
what do you think Guy Fieri has to say to
his friends about that? You know, do you think he's like, oh, thanks, guys,
I really appreciate you looking out for me. I love
that car. It seems like he's got like a lot
of good friends, and so I was probably thinking like, wow,
good looking out good guy. Right, So he's thinking, my
(10:33):
friends are looking out for me. No, Instead, and I
quote Guy Fieri said, we would get calls all the time,
and I mean all the time. I had friends call me.
He would say listen, I just saw your car on
the freeway. And I was like, believe it or not,
there's more than one yellow Lamborghini convertible, probably in northern California.
If people would call and we get reports and my
(10:53):
attorney would hear about it, well, come to find out
he was driving it. Brief kid, Oh my god, it
felt like Guy Fiery was right here in the room
with us. Could you heal the presence? I was just like,
I was so confused. I was like, I am looking
at you, but I'm hearing Guy Fiery. I channeled him
so much that my hair is starting to spike. Chills. Chills.
(11:17):
So back to Oro thief Max Wade. He bolts out
of San Francisco, takes the Lambeau out of the show room.
People are seeing him. He lives in Marin County, which
is not far away from Santa Rosa, which is where
Guy Fiery grew up and where a lot of his
friends are. And also he has friends down in the
Bay Area. So this dude is driving this car around
where a bunch of Guy Fieri's friends could see him
(11:40):
at any given time. But also the fact that he's
from Marine County would suggest that this kid is a rich,
spoiled bread Yeah, pretty much. Odds on, odds on, right,
I mean, like, we both grew up in the Bay
Area enough that we know those Marine County kids. Yeah,
this kid, he ain't what you picture. Interesting. Yeah. Now,
so he's driving around other than the fact it's a
(12:02):
yellow and black car, the Lamborghini, the Guy Fieri. There's
one other way that you could know that this is
Guy Fieri's car. If you're in the know, he has
a custom license plate to let you know this is
Guy Fieri's car. Now, can you guess what Guy Fiorry
would put on his customer No, I really cannot. I
just can't. I don't have it in me. It turns
(12:23):
out he has the letters g U y t O
r O Guy Toro. Ultimately he has the Italian for
guy Bowl. Well, isn't that the Lamborghini logo Gallardo? Yeah?
But yeah, the Lamborghini. No, that's a horse. The Lamborghini
is the horse. Which one is the bull? No, the
(12:44):
Ferrari's the horse. Yeah, the Lamborghini the bowl. You know
what I'm going to have to tap in and ask
super producer Dave can set the right, Reverend Dave Kusten,
can you answer this question? I'm going to have to
look to us up here. Let's see it is in
fact a ball is a bowl. It's a It's like
(13:08):
it's kind of jaunty head turned to the side, like
it's going to attack something, not at you, but next
to you, but very virile. Huh yeah, very muscular. Yeah,
it's like looking at Guy Fieria just be four legs,
yeah exactly. If you imagine the Wall Street ball, it
(13:28):
looks a lot like that. Oh okay, yeah, I win.
There you go one for dotton. Okay. So back to
my man, Max Wade. He knows he's got to get
rid of this because it's going to be an indicator,
So he swaps out the license plate and he uses
one that he'd already taken from an audi He had
stolen a license plate off and Audy pretty much getting
(13:49):
ready for this heist. So he's now it's six fifteen
in the morning on the morning he steals this car.
He swapped out the license plates, He's going to be
pretty much in the clear, and that is why everyone
is able to see him driving around. He's pretty much
gotten away with it well at first. Turns out his
luck will not hold, not because he's not a good criminal,
(14:10):
but because he's a teenager. Max. Yeah, and I'll just
tell you this much. It has the flavors of a
Romeo and Juliette love triangle if you threw Guy Fiery
in it. But We'll be back after a short break
and I will tell you all about the weird love
(14:31):
triangle of Guy Fieri, my man Max Wade, and that
yellow and black Lambo. Okay, so we got Guy Fieri
(14:58):
getting calls from his friends whenever they spot this yellow
and black lambo cruising around the Bay Area. Right, he's
got this nuclear yellow paint shop. It's I mean, it's
impossible to spot. In fact, the police are convinced this
will be the one thing that will help them find it.
How could anyone miss it? All that too, is just
wait for people to start calling in. I saw this
teenager and a yellow Lambo. Turns out, even though the
(15:20):
kid is driving it around, nobody can actually take a
photo of him and send it to the police. Nobody
can get a tip fast enough to say where he is.
I mean, because people were mining their own business for once,
people reminding the own business. When Guy Fiery gets to fallow,
people are like, I'm turning away, not my business, no,
(15:42):
I ke I t s. I love guy theory. I'll
stand up for that guy. If you can throw up
a bar fight and Guy Fiery is getting his butt kick,
I'm stepping on a guy theory side. I'll take a
blow for him. I like, he's a good dude. He
does all kinds of stuff, so as I tease him,
keep that in mind. So exactly well, we all know
who Guy Fiery is for the most part, or at
(16:02):
least we know the caricature of Guy Fiery with the
bleach blonde hair, the bowling shirts, the flames, the hey bro. Right,
what do we know about Max Wade? Remember I told
you he's not a rich kid from Marinne County, So
what's his deal? He lives in Marinne County and he's
a proficient googler he is tell me more, he's not
(16:23):
a tech kid, though he's good at tech, but he's not.
What's what's the story with this kid? He comes from
a home that I can only say was challenged. So
Max Michael Wade was born to these young newlywed's right,
they have him. It's they start raising him, but they
quickly run into trouble between the two of them. His
(16:45):
mother has to call the police, tries to get restraining orders.
The father and the mother both filed for divorce against
the other. It gets bad, and it's so bad that
at one point Max has to step in when he's
about ten to stop his father from beating his mother. God. Yeah,
the father has a towel and he's like trying to
choke the mother. So a little ten eleven year actually
(17:07):
I think he's eleven. Eleven year old Max Wade steps
in and basically stands up to his father, protects his mother,
and it becomes something of a criminal bomb mitzvah. It's
when he becomes a man and a criminal. He will
not take guff or lip or orders from anybody who's
given him some bs he doesn't believe in because of
that relationship with his father is what psychologists the trajectory
(17:29):
of his life changes in that moment. Oh boy does it.
So that's a lot of people would say was probably
his origin story moment. Right. So this kid he then
has to, as I told you, it becomes an adult.
He has to go and testify against his father in
a trial. Oh yeah. So that doesn't work though, because
the trial ends in a hung jury. He goes in there,
(17:49):
breaks open his heart, tries to protect his mother, and
it doesn't help protector. The father gets by on a
hung jury. So he learns that justice is not always just.
So these are his early lessons. And that's why I
kind of pulled from a man Max Waite. I gotta
feel bad for this kid. You'll hear why later on
why that can be a little bit dicey. So anyway,
(18:11):
back to Max Waite, He's bouncing around schools and he's
in Catholic school. He gets kicked out because he was
like defacing property. He's then he gets over to Delmar
Middle School over in Marine County. It's the name has
since been changed. He gets in trouble there, but before
he gets in trouble, he is named the biggest Rebel
at his eighth grade yearbook. Yeah right, you started to
(18:34):
see the soft spot I have. Yeah, this poor kid. Now,
by the way, were you like in your high school
where people voted most likely to do? Yeah, we had that.
Now did you know any of the people that were like,
were you friends with anyone who got the most likely
to our biggest rebel or whatever? Um? Well there were
only sixty six girls in my graduating class, so yeah,
so you knew all of them. I was. I was
(18:55):
voted something. We were you voted class clown? Oh yeah,
I'm not. How about you? I was also voted something
You'll never guess you were probably voted most likely to
were you know, you know what I'm thinking. It's something
(19:17):
like really sweet and innocuous, like best smile. Alright, fine,
all right, you've kind of got it right. It was
I was voted most friendly. Yeah have your laughs. I
have your laugh You're a friendly guy. Moving on after
(19:39):
a while. Ye give you a time to warm up.
Maybe know me for a few years in school. I
don't know anyway. I was surprised to win it. But
so Max Wade, he wins rebel of his school, biggest rebel, right,
and that's pretty much is how everybody treats him. It's
who he thinks he is. That's a red flag superlative
going forward at this at this school. If you get
biggest rebel, like, they need to put that in your
(20:00):
permanent record, in the invisible style cabinet that contains all
of our permanent records. So our boy Max Wade, he's like,
you know, the rebel, and he's getting into trouble. But
not only that, he's getting more aggressive. He starts the
Marine Fight Club. Oh yeah, yeah, like little amateur Tyler Dirton.
He decides I'm gonna go full Brad pitt and like
(20:21):
walk around and convince these other kids to punch each other.
He starts like spreading a little bit of chaos. Well,
and he was raised in a really violent, chaotic environment. Yes,
that's how he understands control. But nobody gets hurt, and
it's not a really bad thing. It's but it does
become an issue. He gets kicked out of school. So
this is before he finishes his freshman year. He's a
young kid to be kicked out of school. So what
(20:43):
does he do? What does the biggest rebel of eighth
grade do when he's kicked out in ninth grade? Ah,
kicked out in ninth grade? Does he just quit school altogether?
Pretty much? And he starts selling fake I d s
and pot. Well, you gotta gotta make a living, Yeah,
you gotta make a living. And if you know or
a young teenager, those are pretty much avenues to fund.
Everybody wants to find you. You're gonna be invited everywhere.
(21:05):
It's like that are cold Stone Creamery, He got choices
cream damn crazy bald. So he's selling fake I d s,
he's selling pot, but also he's getting more criminal. At
this same time, he steals his own mother's car. He
(21:25):
paints moms venture so much. Oh yeah, but he you know,
he wants to get away with it, so he steals
her car. He paints it all black. Do you think
he painted it? Was just like spray paint from the store.
Just Matt black, Matt Black. Yeah. So he's driving around
in a black ski mask, in his painted masks like
a like a ninja or something. I don't know. So yeah,
(21:46):
it's this fast and furious business that's getting the kids
all work and the ski masks and the painted cars.
It's that damn vin Dieselae Diesel. I'm telling the kids
they cannot take both the rock and Vind's will come at.
There's too much shine coming off of skull. They're gonna
false weight to that criminality. I'm telling you, boy, how
(22:07):
he's blinded. They're blinded. So let's fast forward. We've gotten
through a little bit of Max Waite's past. Now he's sixteen.
He steals Guy Fieri's Lambo. I love that we're talking about.
He's sixteen. Let's lee we've moved through his path. Now
is it the right? He's in his golden years, his
criminal peak. So what does the sixteen year old kid do,
who has stolen Guy Fieri's yellow lambeau. You know what
(22:31):
he does. He brags to every mother he knows. He's like, hey, guys,
look at this man. He's telling every friend he has.
Everybody's selling pot too. If he gets a fake I
d you're getting to see his phone and see the
pictures of the lambeau because he wants to be cool still.
I mean, he's a teenage four So one of the
texts we know from some of this text one of
my favorite ones is, man, I love my life boosting
(22:54):
a lambo and picking up a cute girl when you're seventeen.
So that's our cocky, over confident Max Wade. But the dude,
he's no fool. I mean, like he sounds wild and
he sounds like reckless, but he's super smart out so
he does something that a good criminal would do. He
hides the car, but not at his house, not even
(23:16):
in Marin County. He hides it over in Richmond. And
you know Richmond. Ain't nobody looking for something that was
stolen in Marine in Richmond unless it's scrap metal, so
they don't think that the lambo is there. He goes
over with a fake I d he gets himself a
storage unit smart Kids Markets. I told you right now,
can you guess? But the name was on the fake
(23:36):
Ida he used to rent the star creative little fella.
I don't know what was his name. I'll give you
a hint. He loves both cops and criminals. He loves
both cops and criminals. He loves really detectives. Yeah, I
don't know what was his name. Carmine Colombo. Oh that
is beautiful, right, it just rolls off the tongue. That's beautiful.
(23:58):
All right, You're spending the night with Carmine Colombo. Okay,
so skip ahead a couple of months. The cops finally
do here from mothers and fathers and Marine County whose
children have been talking about one of the kids who
stole guy fears Colombo? What what name would you use?
What name would I use for a criminal alias? Hypothetically? Yeah,
(24:22):
hypothetically speaking, I would use alo Wisious huff and puff.
That's a good one. I like it, just get you
an idea that, Yeah, what what one would you do?
I would call myself Regina corn Tower because Regina not
(24:45):
Regina Regina, Regina corn Tower because it means, you know,
it's like you sound like a strapping, like milk fed
midwestern gal just doesn't take guff. Oh no, it sounds
like she wrestled Vikings for fun. Totally. That's that's my
criminal alias. Your girl Regina be on the lookout. So
(25:06):
the cops who are not looking for Regina after my
man Max Wade. They can't find him, but they start
getting these tips, right, so they call in Max Wade
and they try to interview him, right but one, they
can't really find Max Wade. He's very difficult to find too.
They can't get any solid evidence that puts him with
(25:27):
the car. Although they've been told all about this, there's
no pictures, right, so it's kind of looking like the
kid's gonna get away with it. Now. Just try and
guess what could undo based on the little hints they
gave you earlier, what could undo our boy Max Wade Facebook?
Mostly it's that he starts thinking with his Okay, so
(25:52):
he's a sixteen year old, starts hormones coursing through his veins. Yeah, oh,
skin is pretty much rippling with hormones. Voice is changing.
He's like, I stole a lambo and then he's like
it's all Embaris. That's why it can't be in school.
You're much more sensitive than the most adults were in
(26:13):
his life. If only he had someone like you, if
only he had Regina corn Tower in his corner, the
corn Tower family with us would have stood behind, set
that board down and just loved him up hearts, loved
him apart. You know, Lord, Lord, I'm gonna ask you
to shine down on this boy the way that Vin
(26:34):
Diesel's forehead light would shine on him, but in a
good way. Prayers up, like the way the rocks hairline
is retreating backwards. I want you to push the sin
away from him. So we'll get into the dark troubled
days on the morning of April a Friday, no less,
(26:58):
because Max Wade also likes to, you know, really twist
that screw. It's got styled so way you'd approaches a
white Dodge four by four pickup truck. It's parked outside
at home in Mill Valley right inside or eighteen year
old Landon Walstrom. He's a kind of a good old boy,
which is not really a Marin County thing. But there
(27:20):
are some like you know, cow there's some dairy farms
and so forth, so there is a little bit of that,
like you know, kickup boots Cannon. But yeah, so Landing
is a little bit of an outliers driving that lifted
white truck. He's likes you a dip. Now he's graduated
from Redwood High School. He's not a student anymore, but
he's dating a high school student, a seventeen year old
named Eva deady Air or dedier Eva. She's a senior
(27:46):
and she knows Max Wade because he sells her fake
I d s. She's in fact loses so many. He
sold her about five to six fake it das. So
she's just absent minded. Yeah, just you know, just a
tan absent minded sprite of a girl. So he's smitten
with this girl obviously, right, he's charging five dollars for
these fake IDs. He's pretty much hand in. She he
(28:06):
charges pop and she keeps losing, and she's up to
six at this point. That's the easy three grand, right,
there's just just handed over to it, right, Yeah, I
mean that's a lot of pumpkin spice lattees that she's
going without. So that's a sacrifice, good for her. So
he's smitten on her and Max Wade he had texted
(28:27):
her earlier saying, so who you're spending Valentine's with? And
Eva had texted back my friend Landing, Well, that's why
on Friday he pulled up next to my friend Landon's
lifted white truck and my boy Wade, he pulls up
on a black motorcycle stolen plates because it's you know
him and probably that. But he's in all black because
(28:49):
he wants to make that stylistic approach. It's very like matrix.
Oh yeah, it's good call, good call. And he's got
a black helmet on. Keep that in mind, a black
neck protector that this helmet is a very special one's
called built. He's got a black built helmet, right, yeah, right,
they're super cool. So he's also carrying, by the way,
um you know, an old Saturday Night Special revolver like
(29:10):
at like he's trying to kill someone in yeah so,
and so the guns registered on someone else's name. He
pulls up and Wade is on that motorcycle, rocks up
next to lifted four by four white truck, and what
does he do? Got a gun? Pop pop pop, He
(29:31):
lets five fly into the car. Landing is quick. He
sees him like basically point the gun at him. He
pushes down Eva's head on the seat. None of the
bullets managed because the car the truck is lifted. He's
down on a motorcycle. They all go into the ceiling
of the truck. He doesn't adjust his height, he just
starts capping off and he gets so excited he leaves
(29:52):
one bullet in the chamber and you know, he's got
one bullet left. He's used like five of the rounds.
One bullets left, and he's fumbling with the gun. This
gives Landon a chance to peel out. They take off
and then he grabs the gun and tries to chase
after them on his motorcycle. He can't. They've made it away.
They go and they hide at a place called Joe's
Tacosa Landing and even ladd Eva. They pull up in
(30:15):
the white lifted truck and Joe's Tacos and hide out
collect their thoughts at Joe's Tacos. Can we just say that,
like Max didn't understand that he just made land In
a legend because Landon is going to tell the story
for the rest of his life about and it's gonna
snowball every time, So that like how many years ago.
Is this like eleven years ago now when Landon tells
(30:36):
the story, like someone came up with an a K
forty seven and open fire and he like used his
key chain as a throwing star and like yeah, and
like tucked Eva under his shirt and drove Like yeah,
I can totally Landon's a legend thanks to Max. Oh yeah,
Landon is now getting a lot of free drinks from
(30:56):
the boys at the ball totally totally. Now, obviously, Marine County,
this isn't the home of the body bag. This is
not a place I mean where people are popping. I
mean Marin City get some violence, but there wasn't much violence.
So the police overrespond to the shooting. The neighbors are
freaking out. People are calling in from the gas station
down the street where they saw the shooting him and
(31:16):
they saw the white lifted truck go to Joe's Tacos.
The staff of Joe's Tacos is under counter like just
like shivering and calling yeah, this was big news. This
is bad business. Just getting chunks of lime ready in
case anyone comes in. So now the cops, though, remember
they've never been able to pin Max Way down because
my man is like a ghost, but Carmine Carmine Carmine Colombo.
(31:42):
He he makes the mistake of basically creating incontrovertible evidence.
He doesn't know this, but he did remember that black helmet.
So a couple of the detectives are motorcyclists. They recognized
the built helmet and they're like, bro, there's only one
shop that sell those around here. He couldn't have gotten
(32:03):
it anywhere else than Cycle World over in San Francisco
or cycle Gear over in San Francisco. So they pop
over to cycle Gear and they're like, hey, man, you
guys had anybody come in and buy a built helmet.
They're like, yeah, this kid came in and paid cash.
He bought a black neck protector, a black everything he's wearing.
They just basically, can we see the sort of veillance
footage now they have a good sense of what this
(32:25):
kid looks like. Oh yeah, the net is closing in
on my man, max Way, but he doesn't know it yet.
Right now, you went to an all girls school, all
girls Catholic school. Did you know anyone who messed around
with them bad boys? I was um what is known
as a power nerd in high school, so I socialized outside.
(32:50):
I didn't. I didn't have a social life. Um, but
I do know there was a girl in my class
who had a at the time we thought was a
significantly older uh boyfriend. Looking back, he may have been
like nineteen, but it was it was scandalous. Um yeah.
And now when I look back though, too, like let's
(33:10):
say he was in his twenties, I was like, that's
so pitiful that he's just like dating high school girl.
High school girl, Like, what's wrong with you, buddy? But yeah,
so that was I mean, like I said, I'm sure
there were all sorts of girls running around with bad boys,
but um, I was not aware of it, because you know,
model you in well as a farmer semi bad boy.
(33:35):
I don't know if I can say that after also
admitting that I was voted most friendly. What do they
mean by friendly if you can allow for that dynamic
to occur in your head. I was also somebody who
the vice principal was questioning if I should return to school.
So it was a little tugget war back there. And
as a former bad boy, I can tell you it's fun,
(33:56):
but the girls only want to have fun with you.
They don't really want to necessarily make a life with you.
They prefer a guy like they don't want to make
a life with a sixteen year old. Yeah, well, you know,
sixteen year old was riding around popping off shots because
he's mad. So I'm gonna put a pin in this
for a second. We're gonna get back to Eva and
Max Wade, Landon and Guy Fieri. Now it loves Square,
(34:20):
and I'll tell you how this one ends. Now, Max Wade,
(34:44):
as we've discussed, is infatuated with Eva. He's fighting in
a love rival battle with Landon, and he's cruising around
and Guy Fieri stolen Lambeau right as one does. And
he's already tried to shoot his way out of the
friend zone, which ha apparently failed. Now at this time,
there's like rumors going around on Facebook because all these
(35:05):
kids know what this story is. So they start talking
about like, oh, you know, he threatened Landing on Facebook.
Landon's uncle finds this out, he tells the cops. The
cops were like, wait what, And then they start being
able to piece this together. The only problem is they
have no idea where to find Max Wade. He has
falsified all of his stuff. There is no good address.
The school doesn't have an address for him. He's not
(35:26):
old enough to really have a legit license. He just
fakes all of his i ds. So there is no
way for the cops to find this cat. So how
do you find a kid? Do you do? You don't
know where he is, you can't write. That's what the
cops very quickly figure out. But one detective gets lucky.
This detective sees Max Wade into the Marine County courthouse
(35:47):
on a different case. He admitted like a whole party situation.
He gets in trouble, right, so he's there. The detective
recognizement goes, that's that kid who stole Guy Fieri's lambeau.
He follows him and notices basically the kid goes through
some house in Marine County and he's like, that's him.
So now they start basically working with Eva. They're like,
(36:08):
you gotta help us get this kid because we know
he's on for you, right, They now know that he's
in the area. So around that exact same time, my
boy Max Wade makes a faithful mistake of text and Eva,
I know I tried to kill you the other day.
I just want to see are we still cool? And
she's like, well, do you have any more fake ideas?
(36:30):
And she's working with the cops. Yeah, what's that called honeypot? Honeypot?
So she's the classic honeypot. So she's like, you know,
uh yeah, come and uh maybe show up and that's
stolen lambo and we can go for a ride. That
cool with you? And he's like, like, go for a
ride I don't know, like the police station. So there's
(36:50):
really pretty parking line. She is why he stole that lambo.
He wants to impress her. Oh yeah, completely just out
of curiosity. What's the biggest thing you've ever stolen to
necessarily impress somebody? Just that you know? Okay, well, you know,
I'm just going to be the truthful. The biggest thing
I've ever stolen was the hearts of my countrymen with
my piccolo rendition of Gasolina at the nineteen fifty two
(37:14):
Pan American Games. I knew I shouldn't have asked. You
should know better by now. That truly is the That's
the biggest thing I've ever stolen. That's that's impressive. I
thought it was gonna be the love of the Argentinian
people that you stole from the via to Peron. Oh
that's the Pales in comparison. Yeah, well, you know, what
can you do? So Wade agrees to meet Eva in
(37:37):
Guys here he's stolen Lambeau. He shows up at his
Richmond storage unit to go pick up his yellow car.
The cops have figured out at this point where he is.
They've tracked him, they know that he's there. There's fifteen
cops waiting outside of the Richmond storage unit. It's a Saturday,
ap roughly two weeks after the shooting event. Now there
(37:57):
are fifteen cops sitting there waiting for him. They exactly right.
They let him go in, get the car, and drive away.
He drives across the five ad bridge across rich Sandra
Fell Bridge. Yes, you're old bridge. That thing is falling apart.
He's lucky he didn't fall out, totally lucky he didn't
(38:18):
get hit by a chunk of cement. So he's racing
across that old bridge, headed to Marine County, going to
Eva's place. Right, the cops are still, mind you back
at the at the storage unit. So right, So they
didn't give chase. They just let him. Oh, they're just
letting him. Remember you were saying about the honeypot you.
So Eva contexts and text him according to police instruction,
(38:40):
she says, I can't meet you today? Can we meet later?
And shines him. He's like okay whatever, turns around, drives
back to the waiting police. That gave them time to
set up. Yeah, they literally are set up there in trees.
They're in unmarked cars. There's a plane circling over the storage.
You know, you know that one of them was pushing
(39:03):
an old grocery cart full of recycling and had like
smeared stuff on his face and was all raggedy, but
was wearing like Dockers and Kirkland elevens. Then he didn't
tend to back the blue hat exactly. Just all oh
my rooms, so bones like he's overplaying the whole character.
(39:24):
They're just like, we can't we cannot invite Ken on
these on these steakhouats anymore. It's embarrassing. If it doesn't
involve the waterfront. Ken can't come. Kenn has like a
sailor costume. One ye, sorry. They're sitting there waiting in
the trees. Ken's pushing his bag down the street and
(39:47):
Wade shows up right he pulls back in. Do the
cops take him. No, they let him go back inside.
He doesn't come out for an hour. He's just They're like, wait,
do we make a mistake. And VANGELI, I don't know.
I like to imagine he's sitting there and guy fieres
Lambo just crying to him, crying. Yeah, he got stood up.
(40:07):
I mean he's tried so hard. He tried to kill
a man for her. He stole the guy fieres lambeau
for her, and she just won't take him seriously, and
he's either, why are you breaking a man's heart? So
eventually he manages to come out, and he had been
dropped off by a friend who drove a Crown Victoria
and so the cop car he walks back out. He
thinks he's you know, he's sitting there staring at his
(40:28):
cellphone waiting for this guy to pick him back up,
and he notices this Crown Victoria coming towards him, so
he like walks over, thinking it's his friend. Nope, it's
an undercover car. The second one pulls up, he realizes,
wait a minute, these are cops. He sees the cop
in the tree, he bolts. He tries to make it
a run for it. The cops jump out right now.
One of the cops grabs him, another one kicks him,
(40:48):
another one kicks him in the chest. They're beating on
this kid, right, but they have good reason. According to
the police. Apparently he's like reaching for his waistband, which
you know, I mean the kids a white kid. I
don't even know they said that about white kids fan,
but that's what they said about him. Ye, yeah, he's
they're like ken. But turns out home he had a
(41:09):
loaded glock forty five with about fifty rounds of ammunition,
so he could have been like and they didn't just
light him up and they didn't know that they found
it when they searched him because remember before he had
just had that Saturday Night special like subway stick up gun. Yeah,
but so they find that, uh, he's got a real gun.
(41:31):
That explains why they had to beat the you know,
the underhaged boy. Anyway, he's got, of course, a fake
I d on him. Now. Can you guess with this
fake idea is Oh my god, is it Guy Ferry
his real name? That would have been great one. No,
this one was Dr and Agnello Gotti, you know, like
(41:52):
John Gotti, Remember well, and Agnello isn't that the Fiat guy. Yeah, okay,
on it with the Italian carmakers. It's in my blood
and apparently the Max too. So the cops now rest
Max Wade. He's busted. Everything's calmed down. They go down
(42:13):
to a storage unit. They find the yellow Lambeau right
where it was, and I'm talking this thing was tucked
in within inches of the walls. Like he barely squeeze
us into the storage unit. But in there with the
with Guy Fierries Lambeau is the motorcycle, the guns, the outfits.
He's got jammers literally books for future crimes. Ken, you
(42:34):
know Ken locked into the warehouse and put his hand
on the hood of the Lamborkhan. He goes still warm, Kennan,
your crack detective skills. Can someone get him out of here?
Can we transfer him? So there also is a bill
of sale. He had sold Guy Fieri's cards some owner
in the Dominican Republic and it was supposed to get
on like some like you know, storage unit container ship
(42:56):
and sent down to the d R. It didn't make it.
He almost bought that close. Yeah, So now the luck
of ge is gonna hold though, because now he's already
filed with his insurance company because they couldn't find the car,
so he's been paid out the two dollars. He's not
really like, you know, too worried about it. Well, he
(43:18):
loves it. Like he finds out it's stolen, He's not
like on his knees screaming to the sky my my
prize possession. He's like, oh one of my you know,
ridiculous supercars was stolen. Well we also, I'm not even
know this, but guy fiery, you know, the love of
my life. Yeah, he is a big Chevy man. So
most of his cars are cor The first car he
(43:38):
bought was a Corvette. When he first made his money
on the Food Network, he bought some tricked out Corvette.
He loves Chevy, so the Lambo to him is like
I think to impress other people. Okay. Also, by the way,
he has this car, it's shown up on Driver or
whatever Triple D, and he doesn't think the production associates mentioned.
He doesn't drive it. He just opens the door, kids
and open gets out. He just acts pull it up
(44:02):
and he acts like I'm gonna drive away in this
rad my bitchen lambeau, and then he just gets right
back out and goes into the him. Good for him,
it's just it's just fake as his prop. It's top.
So now Max Wade has to go to obviously have
a trial because he's now being investigated for attempted murder impersonating.
(44:25):
It turns out of police and all sorts of stuff
he's got, like fake uniforms. The guy has jammers for
police radios and for cell phones. I mean, he's doing
all sorts of crimes. It's just a laundry list. And
you know, he's also suspected to have been involved in
some break ins, but it turns out he's too slight
for that. But they were trying to attach him to
all these like crimes that they couldn't haven't been able
(44:46):
to close the book on yet. Right, So, now, what
do you think Max Wade's gonna do when he's locked
up in remind you juvenile hall, because he's still not
even eighteen. Does he do something terrible? Does he like
shive somebody? No? Really, that guy, I mean, even though
I know he did try to kill his love rival
with us Saturday Night Special, he's not the kind of
shift somebody in jail. Instead, he's the kind of guy
(45:09):
to get two of his idiot cronies to show up
to Juvie with a sledgehammer and try to break him out.
Bang bang. These guys had like four thirty in the morning,
I'm working with sledge hammers, trying to fast sledge hammers
from outside the cell. They're just sitting there smacking it
at four thirty in the morning. There's nothing going on
at four thirty in the morning except everybody's going to
(45:30):
hear that. Forty guards, forty Julie guards come rushing in
and they stopped Max Wade from getting his masterminded getaway.
And they go outside and they find the sledge hammers
and everything, but his his associates have disappeared more honestly, yes, exactly.
So why do you think he tried to do that, Well,
I mean he wanted to get out. I don't know
(45:52):
you wanted to get away, right, But also he was
about turn eighteen, an eighteenth birthday was coming up, and
that meant he would be transferred to a prison. He
didn't want to be around the real criminals. It was
his last chance to avoid that. Like too bad, buddy. Yeah,
So October rolls around and we now have the attempted
(46:14):
murder and theft case. Guess who is a star witness,
Your man Gie Fieri. So while like you have to
understand this is like a circus of a trial, right,
so that everybody wants in on this because this kid,
I mean, he's basically become an internet legend. It's so
some people may not remember this. He was an internet legend.
(46:35):
There were, in fact, a friend of his posted songs
on YouTube about him. He had his own folk hero ballots,
murder ballot exactly. So everybody is, like, you know, wanting
to get in on this court case. Only one reporter
is allowed in the room, a student from Redwood High School,
one of alumni. Yeah, he's allowed to be the only
(46:56):
one in the high school newspaper. Yeah, it's amazing. Right.
So then there, of course obviously is a court reporter
right now. The court reporter is the way that we
know what it looks like inside the courtroom, since there
was no press other than the school newspapers. Like a
sketch artist. So yeah, exactly, the courtate sorry, court sketch arts,
not court reporters, court sketch artist. The sketch artist manages
(47:19):
to capture your g Fieri and all his glory on
the witness stand. Now here, let me show you this photo. Okay,
oh yeah, Now could you just try to describe it
for the listening audience? Okay? Um, first of all, like
we're putting this on the Ridiculous Crime Instagram so that
(47:39):
everyone can take a look at this. You have to
be able to see that. How did the artist manage
to make him look sweaty? Like meat? Sweats are hard
to capture in pastel. It really is a talented artist. Yeah,
it kind of it looks like he'd have a stuicy
tattoo on his shoulder blade. And the look on his face.
(47:59):
He kind of looks like the ticket taker just told
him his general admission ticket to who was saying as
counterfeit and he's going to have to go back out
and enjoy the rest of the county fair. Like his hair,
the hair, the hair cut. It looks like he was
in a mac and cheese blossom and I swear to
God people there are no lies. And looks the look
(48:22):
on his face. Doesn't it look like his mom just
found his trash bag full of stolen panties in the
bottom of his closet. What what is that? Weird look
on the Oh my goodness, don't be mad at me, mommy. Yeah,
that's a that's a gem. I'm going to get that
printed and framed. Yeah for above the Heart. I mean,
(48:42):
what a joy though, to have Guy Fieri on the
witness stand in your trial and you're not even You're
just an eighteen year old boy and he's bringing it.
Max Wade coming up in the world. Dark power is
what that is. So but man, Max Wade. He gets busted,
convicted on one count of attempted murder of Landing, and
also he gets popped for auto theft and for possession
(49:03):
of a stolen vehicle for shooting into the occupied vehicle,
for trying to kill his love interest. And he gets
acquitted on the attempted murder of Eva because apparently Eva
doesn't want to press charges. I don't know, he couldn't
be convinced that he was trying to kill her. Also,
he is acquitted on the charge of stealing the car.
He doesn't get popped on commercial burglary. I'm not a lawyer,
(49:24):
I'm not a judge. I have no idea. Now, remember
that janitor who was or was not involved, Yeah, the
one who wound up road chum because he was hiding
into the car. Never shows back up never. So we
have this one like mystery out there also the other
mystery who dropped him off when he got we showed
up at his storage unit to pick up the Lambeau.
(49:45):
Remember the cops never talked about that. I know exactly
who it was. Who was it? Fiery, He's in the
Crown vic It's all. It's like, I feel like it's
the end of the usual suspects right now, right, it's
all coming together, and all of sudden the footwork starts
smoothing totally. Guy Fierry doesn't know Limp anyway, I just
(50:05):
dropped my teacup, so so Max Wade, right, he tells
his probation officer. Look, I was by myself. The janitor
had nothing to do with it. Nobody helped me, which
seems like proof that the janitor helped him, right, And
that just seems like immediately so I don't know if
it's like a favorite uncle or somebody. Yeah, they're like,
who helped you with this? He's like, not the janitor,
(50:28):
Like wait what jandit He's like, never mind, I didn't
I didn't say anything. Voices still so in janu Max
Wade has given the maximum sentence life in prison. He
sounds like, you know, I'm torn, How are you torn?
Because he sounds like a dangerous little guy. He sounds
(50:48):
like he might be a little bit of a psychopath.
But at the same time, like, I don't know, I
feel bad for him. I was I was a handful,
I was a troubled kid. I did some stuff. I
never tried shooting anybody, but you know, shy of that.
I can see how stories can be told that people
would see, oh, he's gonna be a big danger when
he gets bigger, which never really was the case. So
(51:09):
I think Max Wade, you know, if things were different,
if somebody could have taken a hand, he might not have,
you know, been this person everybody feared too late. Unfortunately,
he is set up for twenty years of enhancements for
premeditation of a use of a firearm California law dooms,
so he's looking at basically has to do the life sentence,
(51:31):
the twenty years on his enhancements. Then after that he's
got to do sixteen months for stealing Guy Fieri's car.
Then he also has to do the rest of his
life sentence. The other one, he's got to do another one.
But luckily California law changes, he did no longer has
to what would have been that he had to serve
of the twenty one years. He then ends up that
(51:53):
they basically change his sentencing, so that now thanks to
send It Bill six twenty, a California bill that gave
judges the discretion over sentencing and said, no, we're no
longer going to do these sentencing requirements basically that you
have to do because of gun enhancements. Do you any
time to use a gun into the commission of the
prime the enhancement? Right, So they make that no longer
(52:14):
the case. Now judges can decide. The judge of his
case decides and reduces him by ten years. So now
he is eligible for parole in August. So you know that.
Or is a little bit of good news that guy
Fiery got his car back. Well he didn't, well because
he got the payoff. He got the payoffs. So where
(52:34):
is it now? Who has the who has the yellow Lamborghini?
Right now? The insurance company I suppose took it. I suppose,
I'm sure they sold it. So I'm sure we could
find the person who bought the stolen Lambeau. Maybe we'll
come back to you with an update on that. I'm
going to need that. So other than the fact that
guy Fiery is the coolest man on earth, what was
our ridiculous takeaway here? Well, my ridiculous takeaway I think
(52:57):
is that, um, the kid is obviously troubled, but like,
if you're gonna if you're gonna do a crime like
this for a ridiculous reason, for the love of a
seventeen year old girl, I say ridiculous reason. Totally ridiculous reason.
(53:18):
I would have to disagree to a former seventeen year
old boy. I think it's just that's ridiculous. But if
you're gonna do it, just go big. And he did,
and like the most ridiculous We're gonna steal a car,
steal a ridiculous car. And it's not even enough that
it's a yellow Lamborghini is ridiculous in amazing ways. It's
even more ridiculous if the car is belongs to one
(53:40):
g Fieri, Like, that's prime ridiculousness. That's my takeaway. I
think you nailed it. Personally. I think my due would
have been fine if he just stole the car. I
mean nobody would. I think even guy Fiery would have
forgiven him. He liked him, he said, brave kid. Remember
he was like, hey, I like that kid. Yeah. I
mean it's pretty much victimous crime other than the insurance company,
(54:01):
which I have my opinions about that. I'm sure other
listeners may have their opinions about that, But that's like
not really a victim that we're worried about, right, But
his real problem was was he became the victim of
himself when he decided to go full Romeo and Juliet
and try to take out Landing. It was the gun
that was the doom. If he would have been able
to just keep trying to impress her, I think she
(54:22):
might have changed her mind. I mean, well, and a
young guy with a yellow Lamborghini. They're more girls out
there than just Eva. Yeah, exactly. So never bring a
gun to a stolen guy Fiery Lambo fight. Thanks for
joining us, Elizabeth Sutton. You can find us online a
Ridiculous Crime on both Twitter and Instagram. And if you
(54:44):
got a tip for us about a ridiculous crime that
you'd like to hear about, maybe when you participated in
you hit us up that you let us know. And
if you'd like to maybe confess to a ridiculous crime
that you know about that you didn't get yourself involved in,
you can tell us that one to email us at
ridiculous Crime at gmail dot co. UM. Thanks for listening.
We'll be back next time with more ridiculousness. See you later.
(55:10):
Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zarin Burnett,
produced and edited by Dave Kustin. Research is by the
intrepid Marissa Brown. The theme song is by Thomas Lee
and Travis Dutton. Executive producers are Ben Bolan and Lowell Brown.
Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeart Radio. For more
(55:32):
podcasts to my heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Ridiculous Crime is a production of our Heart Radio. Elizabeth.
You know what's ridiculous. Yeah, I'll tell you what's ridiculous.
The inflatable furniture craze of the late nineties that was
ridiculous and increasingly dangerous, right. I mean that's somebody keeps
like knives and stuff in my pockets and keys, and
I just like to just drop my weight down things disaster. Oh,
(00:24):
I've been breaking my taible on every other day. That's
a good ridiculousness. But I got one for you, and
it features one of your favorite people who It's not
the Pope, not Elvis impersonators, I know, and it's also
not Chewbacco. But you'll like this one, Okay. Around four
(00:46):
thirty a m. In the morning on March two thousand eleven,
a sixteen year old boy named Max Wade repelled down
into the British Motors dealership in San Francisco. It's a
luxury auto dealership. They have fatly lambos lotuses like all
those nice big cars. Right, A sixteen year old boys
dream place to break in. Now, Max Wade. He drops
(01:10):
down out of the roof, lands inside the showroom with
all the dream cars around him. He looks around, he
goes m which one should I take? He doesn't choose
a Bentley, doesn't choose a Lotus, doesn't choose any of
the cars you would expect him to take unless you
knew that there was one particular car in the showroom,
and you would know that's the car he's gonna take, right,
(01:31):
So instead, sixteen year old Max Wade decides to steal
the yellow and black two thousand eight Lamborghini. Guillardo Spider
valued it over two hundred thousand dollars. Yellow and black Lamborghini.
Oh yeah, yellow and black like a like a high
speed bumblebee. Yeah. But do you know why it was
yellow and black because it had a very unique owner.
(01:52):
The owner you know him as Guy Fieri. Yes, Max
Wade stole a Guy fee Eddies lamboy, and not only that,
he gets away with it. For the next few days,
he's driving Guy Eddie's Lambeau all around the Bay Area.
Six year old boy the audacity. Oh yeah, and this
(02:13):
crime that's just the tip of this ridiculous iceberg. So
get ready for a good one. I'm ready, all right, y'all.
(02:40):
This is Ridiculous Crime. A podcast about absurd and outrageous capers,
heists and cons. It's always murder free and ridiculous. I'm
Zarin Burnett, I'm Elizabeth Dutton, and we are here to
hit you with the ridiculous. Okay, Now you know how
two thousand eleven was only like ten years ago? Was it? Yeah?
(03:04):
Ten years ago a full decade, but in more ways
than time, it was very much a different time. Back down,
just to give you a sense of the culture. In
two thousand eleven, Harry Potter and the Deathly House is
the most watch movie of that year, huge blockbuster. Right.
Also we have Transformers, Dark of the Moon, the Twilight
Saga Breaking Down. These are the one, two, and three
most popular movies. Now number four or five and six
(03:24):
are The Hangover Part two, Pirates of the Caribbean On
Stranger Tides, Fast five of the Fast and the Furious Movies,
and lastly at the seventh spot is Cars Too. Now
do you know what all those movies have in common?
Gritty realism only if you're friend, intense character study, amazing
(03:47):
acting work. No, all of those movies have one thing
in common, which is they have teenagers changing the world
if you think about it, right, Pirates, Breaking Dot whatever
the light movies, transformers, young people totally other ones, criminals
getting away with it super fast. This is the swirl
(04:08):
of culture spinning around young adolescent Max Wade. It is
a wild and reckless time. Now we live in a pandemic.
We don't think being reckless is cool anymore, not Max Wade.
So picture it. Max Wade is on the roof of
the luxury car dealership. Now he lifts open the rooftop
(04:31):
like hatch, fixes his rope and he repels down to
the floor of the car dealership just like that. Now
he's in there in the show room like an adolescent
cat burglar, and he's like, Okay, I'm gonna no wait.
You have to also keep in mind with this kid,
(04:52):
Max Wade. The kids sixteen, He's never repelled before. This
is not like some kid who grew up on the
side of a mountain. He was like working with rocks.
Looked it up on Google. He just looked over what
did he google? Oh dude, he Google's Mission impossible style.
Repelling literally's like why did Tom Cruise do that? Time?
(05:14):
You know? But that's the confidence of a sixteen year
old boy. They're like, I can do what Tom Cruise
did in that movie. I'm gonna go in and get
me one of them, guy Fiery Lambo's I don't know
why he sucks like that because he's from Marine County
at all. He was feeling a little bit of sauce. Spicy.
Oh yeah, like extra sauce. I mean, the boy was
(05:35):
basically he's just like a walking dipping sauce. This kid,
he's just flavored. Guy here, he probably would have like
donkey sauce. Oh, it starts already, it's already okay. So
this kid he breaks in, he's walking around the show room,
takes hi about fifteen minutes to get to his like
lay of the land. And then now the detectives who
have watched the surveillance video, they noticed that he seems
(05:55):
to be talking on this like two way radio. He's
all secrets of his front door to patio coming in,
brandigade coming in, brandigade coming in. But he's just talking
to himself. Well, we don't know that because there was
a janitor who was working. This is like four thirty
in the morning. Now, most of the times janitors that
this showroom don't show up to like five six in
(06:15):
the morning, right, this guy is there way before his shift,
which is way suspicious. So these two don't interact them.
But then again, maybe that's the need for the radio.
Maybe the janitor is his lookout. We don't know, because
get this, after the break in, janitor disappears, never to
be seen again. Wait, like missing persons go on, just cuts,
(06:38):
doesn't come back to work, doesn't get his last check,
nobody ever sees him again. What if he was like
one of those stowaway people who like climb into the
wheel well of a plane and then it takes off,
but he was actually like underneath the Lamborghini and then
Max drove off and he's just like little bits of
him are up and down the highways. That is terrific
(06:59):
to pick. Yeah, but it explains it. It does explain
that right on that the logic is next. Next, so
our boy Max Wade, he sees this yellow and black
aforementioned guy Fieri Lambeau, so of course that's the car
(07:21):
he's gonna take. He breaks in, which, by the way,
he had also googled how to break cars. So you
can learn anything on YouTube. I'm telling you, between YouTube
and Google, there ain't a single thing that you can't find.
I can you have like a I don't know, nineteen
sixty seven Toyota land Cruiser and you need to change
the spark plugs. Check YouTube. There's gonna be somebody. They're going,
(07:41):
here's my nineteen sixty seven, and I can change the
spark book. It's amazing and it's also good for sixteen
year old criminals. Perfect. So Max Wade gets his full
on YouTube education and manages to get this car out
of the dealership. He cuts through the locks, he disables
the security, he opens the roll top door, and he
(08:01):
drives right out of the One Man Crimes. Max Wade
is no joke, but oddly, my man Max Wade. He
leaves behind his bag of tools. Now his tools are
belt cutters, I'm sorry bout cutting some belts, spenders, snippers,
(08:21):
and his bag of tools he has bolt cutters, a
prye bar, climbing gear, and of course the rope that
he used to repel. Now, this kid, although seems like
he's kind of reckless and kind of forgetful, he still
is able to pull off like basically the crime of
his young century, and he gets away with it by
(08:41):
I don't know, like five am. He's on the road
gone and at that same time, you gotta wonder, where's
Guy Fiery. What's Guy Fiery doing? I mean, I know
I always think that, but what do you think he's
doing at that time? Well, I would have to check
my surveillance camera of him. Yeah, he's probably like snuggled
(09:02):
in bed, just tucked away, dreaming of fried goods, just
dripping donkey sauce on his chest. He was asleep in
a vat of donkey sauce. He sleeps on a like
a pool noodle floating and in a bowl of donkey
sauce on a waterbed filled with doncus. No, actually he
was in Chicago. Oh yeah, he was filming s pretty
(09:25):
much the same thing. Yeah, Beantown, So they just have
that big bean anyway, putting that aside, So Guy Theories
in Chicago, he's filming his show Triple d Diners Drive
ins and Diners drive ins and dive. Dash cams close.
Let me see I get this right. The third time
(09:45):
Diners drive ins and dives. There we go. Okay, So
he's filming in Chicago. But because he's like on set,
he's like busy doing his thing or like I don't
know what Guy Theory considers busy but whatever. He's in Chicago.
He gets a phone call. It's his friends. Now, his
friends are like, hey, man, are you in town? I
just saw your Lambeau cruise by. He's all new it
broish Chicago filming diners, drive ins and dib is. They're like,
(10:11):
this isn't and then I like really quickly hang up
long number. So he's getting these calls from his friends. Now,
what do you think Guy Fieri has to say to
his friends about that? You know, do you think he's like, oh, thanks, guys,
I really appreciate you looking out for me. I love
that car. It seems like he's got like a lot
of good friends, and so I was probably thinking like, wow,
good looking out good guy. Right, So he's thinking, my
(10:33):
friends are looking out for me. No, Instead, and I
quote Guy Fieri said, we would get calls all the time,
and I mean all the time. I had friends call me.
He would say listen, I just saw your car on
the freeway. And I was like, believe it or not,
there's more than one yellow Lamborghini convertible, probably in northern California.
If people would call and we get reports and my
(10:53):
attorney would hear about it, well, come to find out
he was driving it. Brief kid, Oh my god, it
felt like Guy Fiery was right here in the room
with us. Could you heal the presence? I was just like,
I was so confused. I was like, I am looking
at you, but I'm hearing Guy Fiery. I channeled him
so much that my hair is starting to spike. Chills. Chills.
(11:17):
So back to Oro thief Max Wade. He bolts out
of San Francisco, takes the Lambeau out of the show room.
People are seeing him. He lives in Marin County, which
is not far away from Santa Rosa, which is where
Guy Fiery grew up and where a lot of his
friends are. And also he has friends down in the
Bay Area. So this dude is driving this car around
where a bunch of Guy Fieri's friends could see him
(11:40):
at any given time. But also the fact that he's
from Marine County would suggest that this kid is a rich,
spoiled bread Yeah, pretty much. Odds on, odds on, right,
I mean, like, we both grew up in the Bay
Area enough that we know those Marine County kids. Yeah,
this kid, he ain't what you picture. Interesting. Yeah. Now,
so he's driving around other than the fact it's a
(12:02):
yellow and black car, the Lamborghini, the Guy Fieri. There's
one other way that you could know that this is
Guy Fieri's car. If you're in the know, he has
a custom license plate to let you know this is
Guy Fieri's car. Now, can you guess what Guy Fiorry
would put on his customer No, I really cannot. I
just can't. I don't have it in me. It turns
(12:23):
out he has the letters g U y t O
r O Guy Toro. Ultimately he has the Italian for
guy Bowl. Well, isn't that the Lamborghini logo Gallardo? Yeah?
But yeah, the Lamborghini. No, that's a horse. The Lamborghini
is the horse. Which one is the bull? No, the
(12:44):
Ferrari's the horse. Yeah, the Lamborghini the bowl. You know
what I'm going to have to tap in and ask
super producer Dave can set the right, Reverend Dave Kusten,
can you answer this question? I'm going to have to
look to us up here. Let's see it is in
fact a ball is a bowl. It's a It's like
(13:08):
it's kind of jaunty head turned to the side, like
it's going to attack something, not at you, but next
to you, but very virile. Huh yeah, very muscular. Yeah,
it's like looking at Guy Fieria just be four legs,
yeah exactly. If you imagine the Wall Street ball, it
(13:28):
looks a lot like that. Oh okay, yeah, I win.
There you go one for dotton. Okay. So back to
my man, Max Wade. He knows he's got to get
rid of this because it's going to be an indicator,
So he swaps out the license plate and he uses
one that he'd already taken from an audi He had
stolen a license plate off and Audy pretty much getting
(13:49):
ready for this heist. So he's now it's six fifteen
in the morning on the morning he steals this car.
He swapped out the license plates, He's going to be
pretty much in the clear, and that is why everyone
is able to see him driving around. He's pretty much
gotten away with it well at first. Turns out his
luck will not hold, not because he's not a good criminal,
(14:10):
but because he's a teenager. Max. Yeah, and I'll just
tell you this much. It has the flavors of a
Romeo and Juliette love triangle if you threw Guy Fiery
in it. But We'll be back after a short break
and I will tell you all about the weird love
(14:31):
triangle of Guy Fieri, my man Max Wade, and that
yellow and black Lambo. Okay, so we got Guy Fieri
(14:58):
getting calls from his friends whenever they spot this yellow
and black lambo cruising around the Bay Area. Right, he's
got this nuclear yellow paint shop. It's I mean, it's
impossible to spot. In fact, the police are convinced this
will be the one thing that will help them find it.
How could anyone miss it? All that too, is just
wait for people to start calling in. I saw this
teenager and a yellow Lambo. Turns out, even though the
(15:20):
kid is driving it around, nobody can actually take a
photo of him and send it to the police. Nobody
can get a tip fast enough to say where he is.
I mean, because people were mining their own business for once,
people reminding the own business. When Guy Fiery gets to fallow,
people are like, I'm turning away, not my business, no,
(15:42):
I ke I t s. I love guy theory. I'll
stand up for that guy. If you can throw up
a bar fight and Guy Fiery is getting his butt kick,
I'm stepping on a guy theory side. I'll take a
blow for him. I like, he's a good dude. He
does all kinds of stuff, so as I tease him,
keep that in mind. So exactly well, we all know
who Guy Fiery is for the most part, or at
(16:02):
least we know the caricature of Guy Fiery with the
bleach blonde hair, the bowling shirts, the flames, the hey bro. Right,
what do we know about Max Wade? Remember I told
you he's not a rich kid from Marinne County, So
what's his deal? He lives in Marinne County and he's
a proficient googler he is tell me more, he's not
(16:23):
a tech kid, though he's good at tech, but he's not.
What's what's the story with this kid? He comes from
a home that I can only say was challenged. So
Max Michael Wade was born to these young newlywed's right,
they have him. It's they start raising him, but they
quickly run into trouble between the two of them. His
(16:45):
mother has to call the police, tries to get restraining orders.
The father and the mother both filed for divorce against
the other. It gets bad, and it's so bad that
at one point Max has to step in when he's
about ten to stop his father from beating his mother. God. Yeah,
the father has a towel and he's like trying to
choke the mother. So a little ten eleven year actually
(17:07):
I think he's eleven. Eleven year old Max Wade steps
in and basically stands up to his father, protects his mother,
and it becomes something of a criminal bomb mitzvah. It's
when he becomes a man and a criminal. He will
not take guff or lip or orders from anybody who's
given him some bs he doesn't believe in because of
that relationship with his father is what psychologists the trajectory
(17:29):
of his life changes in that moment. Oh boy does it.
So that's a lot of people would say was probably
his origin story moment. Right. So this kid he then
has to, as I told you, it becomes an adult.
He has to go and testify against his father in
a trial. Oh yeah. So that doesn't work though, because
the trial ends in a hung jury. He goes in there,
(17:49):
breaks open his heart, tries to protect his mother, and
it doesn't help protector. The father gets by on a
hung jury. So he learns that justice is not always just.
So these are his early lessons. And that's why I
kind of pulled from a man Max Waite. I gotta
feel bad for this kid. You'll hear why later on
why that can be a little bit dicey. So anyway,
(18:11):
back to Max Waite, He's bouncing around schools and he's
in Catholic school. He gets kicked out because he was
like defacing property. He's then he gets over to Delmar
Middle School over in Marine County. It's the name has
since been changed. He gets in trouble there, but before
he gets in trouble, he is named the biggest Rebel
at his eighth grade yearbook. Yeah right, you started to
(18:34):
see the soft spot I have. Yeah, this poor kid. Now,
by the way, were you like in your high school
where people voted most likely to do? Yeah, we had that.
Now did you know any of the people that were like,
were you friends with anyone who got the most likely
to our biggest rebel or whatever? Um? Well there were
only sixty six girls in my graduating class, so yeah,
so you knew all of them. I was. I was
(18:55):
voted something. We were you voted class clown? Oh yeah,
I'm not. How about you? I was also voted something
You'll never guess you were probably voted most likely to
were you know, you know what I'm thinking. It's something
(19:17):
like really sweet and innocuous, like best smile. Alright, fine,
all right, you've kind of got it right. It was
I was voted most friendly. Yeah have your laughs. I
have your laugh You're a friendly guy. Moving on after
(19:39):
a while. Ye give you a time to warm up.
Maybe know me for a few years in school. I
don't know anyway. I was surprised to win it. But
so Max Wade, he wins rebel of his school, biggest rebel, right,
and that's pretty much is how everybody treats him. It's
who he thinks he is. That's a red flag superlative
going forward at this at this school. If you get
biggest rebel, like, they need to put that in your
(20:00):
permanent record, in the invisible style cabinet that contains all
of our permanent records. So our boy Max Wade, he's like,
you know, the rebel, and he's getting into trouble. But
not only that, he's getting more aggressive. He starts the
Marine Fight Club. Oh yeah, yeah, like little amateur Tyler Dirton.
He decides I'm gonna go full Brad pitt and like
(20:21):
walk around and convince these other kids to punch each other.
He starts like spreading a little bit of chaos. Well,
and he was raised in a really violent, chaotic environment. Yes,
that's how he understands control. But nobody gets hurt, and
it's not a really bad thing. It's but it does
become an issue. He gets kicked out of school. So
this is before he finishes his freshman year. He's a
young kid to be kicked out of school. So what
(20:43):
does he do? What does the biggest rebel of eighth
grade do when he's kicked out in ninth grade? Ah,
kicked out in ninth grade? Does he just quit school altogether?
Pretty much? And he starts selling fake I d s
and pot. Well, you gotta gotta make a living, Yeah,
you gotta make a living. And if you know or
a young teenager, those are pretty much avenues to fund.
Everybody wants to find you. You're gonna be invited everywhere.
(21:05):
It's like that are cold Stone Creamery, He got choices
cream damn crazy bald. So he's selling fake I d s,
he's selling pot, but also he's getting more criminal. At
this same time, he steals his own mother's car. He
(21:25):
paints moms venture so much. Oh yeah, but he you know,
he wants to get away with it, so he steals
her car. He paints it all black. Do you think
he painted it? Was just like spray paint from the store.
Just Matt black, Matt Black. Yeah. So he's driving around
in a black ski mask, in his painted masks like
a like a ninja or something. I don't know. So yeah,
(21:46):
it's this fast and furious business that's getting the kids
all work and the ski masks and the painted cars.
It's that damn vin Dieselae Diesel. I'm telling the kids
they cannot take both the rock and Vind's will come at.
There's too much shine coming off of skull. They're gonna
false weight to that criminality. I'm telling you, boy, how
(22:07):
he's blinded. They're blinded. So let's fast forward. We've gotten
through a little bit of Max Waite's past. Now he's sixteen.
He steals Guy Fieri's Lambo. I love that we're talking about.
He's sixteen. Let's lee we've moved through his path. Now
is it the right? He's in his golden years, his
criminal peak. So what does the sixteen year old kid do,
who has stolen Guy Fieri's yellow lambeau. You know what
(22:31):
he does. He brags to every mother he knows. He's like, hey, guys,
look at this man. He's telling every friend he has.
Everybody's selling pot too. If he gets a fake I
d you're getting to see his phone and see the
pictures of the lambeau because he wants to be cool still.
I mean, he's a teenage four So one of the
texts we know from some of this text one of
my favorite ones is, man, I love my life boosting
(22:54):
a lambo and picking up a cute girl when you're seventeen.
So that's our cocky, over confident Max Wade. But the dude,
he's no fool. I mean, like he sounds wild and
he sounds like reckless, but he's super smart out so
he does something that a good criminal would do. He
hides the car, but not at his house, not even
(23:16):
in Marin County. He hides it over in Richmond. And
you know Richmond. Ain't nobody looking for something that was
stolen in Marine in Richmond unless it's scrap metal, so
they don't think that the lambo is there. He goes
over with a fake I d he gets himself a
storage unit smart Kids Markets. I told you right now,
can you guess? But the name was on the fake
(23:36):
Ida he used to rent the star creative little fella.
I don't know what was his name. I'll give you
a hint. He loves both cops and criminals. He loves
both cops and criminals. He loves really detectives. Yeah, I
don't know what was his name. Carmine Colombo. Oh that
is beautiful, right, it just rolls off the tongue. That's beautiful.
(23:58):
All right, You're spending the night with Carmine Colombo. Okay,
so skip ahead a couple of months. The cops finally
do here from mothers and fathers and Marine County whose
children have been talking about one of the kids who
stole guy fears Colombo? What what name would you use?
What name would I use for a criminal alias? Hypothetically? Yeah,
(24:22):
hypothetically speaking, I would use alo Wisious huff and puff.
That's a good one. I like it, just get you
an idea that, Yeah, what what one would you do?
I would call myself Regina corn Tower because Regina not
(24:45):
Regina Regina, Regina corn Tower because it means, you know,
it's like you sound like a strapping, like milk fed
midwestern gal just doesn't take guff. Oh no, it sounds
like she wrestled Vikings for fun. Totally. That's that's my
criminal alias. Your girl Regina be on the lookout. So
(25:06):
the cops who are not looking for Regina after my
man Max Wade. They can't find him, but they start
getting these tips, right, so they call in Max Wade
and they try to interview him, right but one, they
can't really find Max Wade. He's very difficult to find too.
They can't get any solid evidence that puts him with
(25:27):
the car. Although they've been told all about this, there's
no pictures, right, so it's kind of looking like the
kid's gonna get away with it. Now. Just try and
guess what could undo based on the little hints they
gave you earlier, what could undo our boy Max Wade Facebook?
Mostly it's that he starts thinking with his Okay, so
(25:52):
he's a sixteen year old, starts hormones coursing through his veins. Yeah, oh,
skin is pretty much rippling with hormones. Voice is changing.
He's like, I stole a lambo and then he's like
it's all Embaris. That's why it can't be in school.
You're much more sensitive than the most adults were in
(26:13):
his life. If only he had someone like you, if
only he had Regina corn Tower in his corner, the
corn Tower family with us would have stood behind, set
that board down and just loved him up hearts, loved
him apart. You know, Lord, Lord, I'm gonna ask you
to shine down on this boy the way that Vin
(26:34):
Diesel's forehead light would shine on him, but in a
good way. Prayers up, like the way the rocks hairline
is retreating backwards. I want you to push the sin
away from him. So we'll get into the dark troubled
days on the morning of April a Friday, no less,
(26:58):
because Max Wade also likes to, you know, really twist
that screw. It's got styled so way you'd approaches a
white Dodge four by four pickup truck. It's parked outside
at home in Mill Valley right inside or eighteen year
old Landon Walstrom. He's a kind of a good old boy,
which is not really a Marin County thing. But there
(27:20):
are some like you know, cow there's some dairy farms
and so forth, so there is a little bit of that,
like you know, kickup boots Cannon. But yeah, so Landing
is a little bit of an outliers driving that lifted
white truck. He's likes you a dip. Now he's graduated
from Redwood High School. He's not a student anymore, but
he's dating a high school student, a seventeen year old
named Eva deady Air or dedier Eva. She's a senior
(27:46):
and she knows Max Wade because he sells her fake
I d s. She's in fact loses so many. He
sold her about five to six fake it das. So
she's just absent minded. Yeah, just you know, just a
tan absent minded sprite of a girl. So he's smitten
with this girl obviously, right, he's charging five dollars for
these fake IDs. He's pretty much hand in. She he
(28:06):
charges pop and she keeps losing, and she's up to
six at this point. That's the easy three grand, right,
there's just just handed over to it, right, Yeah, I
mean that's a lot of pumpkin spice lattees that she's
going without. So that's a sacrifice, good for her. So
he's smitten on her and Max Wade he had texted
(28:27):
her earlier saying, so who you're spending Valentine's with? And
Eva had texted back my friend Landing, Well, that's why
on Friday he pulled up next to my friend Landon's
lifted white truck and my boy Wade, he pulls up
on a black motorcycle stolen plates because it's you know
him and probably that. But he's in all black because
(28:49):
he wants to make that stylistic approach. It's very like matrix.
Oh yeah, it's good call, good call. And he's got
a black helmet on. Keep that in mind, a black
neck protector that this helmet is a very special one's
called built. He's got a black built helmet, right, yeah, right,
they're super cool. So he's also carrying, by the way,
um you know, an old Saturday Night Special revolver like
(29:10):
at like he's trying to kill someone in yeah so,
and so the guns registered on someone else's name. He
pulls up and Wade is on that motorcycle, rocks up
next to lifted four by four white truck, and what
does he do? Got a gun? Pop pop pop, He
(29:31):
lets five fly into the car. Landing is quick. He
sees him like basically point the gun at him. He
pushes down Eva's head on the seat. None of the
bullets managed because the car the truck is lifted. He's
down on a motorcycle. They all go into the ceiling
of the truck. He doesn't adjust his height, he just
starts capping off and he gets so excited he leaves
(29:52):
one bullet in the chamber and you know, he's got
one bullet left. He's used like five of the rounds.
One bullets left, and he's fumbling with the gun. This
gives Landon a chance to peel out. They take off
and then he grabs the gun and tries to chase
after them on his motorcycle. He can't. They've made it away.
They go and they hide at a place called Joe's
Tacosa Landing and even ladd Eva. They pull up in
(30:15):
the white lifted truck and Joe's Tacos and hide out
collect their thoughts at Joe's Tacos. Can we just say that,
like Max didn't understand that he just made land In
a legend because Landon is going to tell the story
for the rest of his life about and it's gonna
snowball every time, So that like how many years ago.
Is this like eleven years ago now when Landon tells
(30:36):
the story, like someone came up with an a K
forty seven and open fire and he like used his
key chain as a throwing star and like yeah, and
like tucked Eva under his shirt and drove Like yeah,
I can totally Landon's a legend thanks to Max. Oh yeah,
Landon is now getting a lot of free drinks from
(30:56):
the boys at the ball totally totally. Now, obviously, Marine County,
this isn't the home of the body bag. This is
not a place I mean where people are popping. I
mean Marin City get some violence, but there wasn't much violence.
So the police overrespond to the shooting. The neighbors are
freaking out. People are calling in from the gas station
down the street where they saw the shooting him and
(31:16):
they saw the white lifted truck go to Joe's Tacos.
The staff of Joe's Tacos is under counter like just
like shivering and calling yeah, this was big news. This
is bad business. Just getting chunks of lime ready in
case anyone comes in. So now the cops, though, remember
they've never been able to pin Max Way down because
my man is like a ghost, but Carmine Carmine Carmine Colombo.
(31:42):
He he makes the mistake of basically creating incontrovertible evidence.
He doesn't know this, but he did remember that black helmet.
So a couple of the detectives are motorcyclists. They recognized
the built helmet and they're like, bro, there's only one
shop that sell those around here. He couldn't have gotten
(32:03):
it anywhere else than Cycle World over in San Francisco
or cycle Gear over in San Francisco. So they pop
over to cycle Gear and they're like, hey, man, you
guys had anybody come in and buy a built helmet.
They're like, yeah, this kid came in and paid cash.
He bought a black neck protector, a black everything he's wearing.
They just basically, can we see the sort of veillance
footage now they have a good sense of what this
(32:25):
kid looks like. Oh yeah, the net is closing in
on my man, max Way, but he doesn't know it yet.
Right now, you went to an all girls school, all
girls Catholic school. Did you know anyone who messed around
with them bad boys? I was um what is known
as a power nerd in high school, so I socialized outside.
(32:50):
I didn't. I didn't have a social life. Um, but
I do know there was a girl in my class
who had a at the time we thought was a
significantly older uh boyfriend. Looking back, he may have been
like nineteen, but it was it was scandalous. Um yeah.
And now when I look back though, too, like let's
(33:10):
say he was in his twenties, I was like, that's
so pitiful that he's just like dating high school girl.
High school girl, Like, what's wrong with you, buddy? But yeah,
so that was I mean, like I said, I'm sure
there were all sorts of girls running around with bad boys,
but um, I was not aware of it, because you know,
model you in well as a farmer semi bad boy.
(33:35):
I don't know if I can say that after also
admitting that I was voted most friendly. What do they
mean by friendly if you can allow for that dynamic
to occur in your head. I was also somebody who
the vice principal was questioning if I should return to school.
So it was a little tugget war back there. And
as a former bad boy, I can tell you it's fun,
(33:56):
but the girls only want to have fun with you.
They don't really want to necessarily make a life with you.
They prefer a guy like they don't want to make
a life with a sixteen year old. Yeah, well, you know,
sixteen year old was riding around popping off shots because
he's mad. So I'm gonna put a pin in this
for a second. We're gonna get back to Eva and
Max Wade, Landon and Guy Fieri. Now it loves Square,
(34:20):
and I'll tell you how this one ends. Now, Max Wade,
(34:44):
as we've discussed, is infatuated with Eva. He's fighting in
a love rival battle with Landon, and he's cruising around
and Guy Fieri stolen Lambeau right as one does. And
he's already tried to shoot his way out of the
friend zone, which ha apparently failed. Now at this time,
there's like rumors going around on Facebook because all these
(35:05):
kids know what this story is. So they start talking
about like, oh, you know, he threatened Landing on Facebook.
Landon's uncle finds this out, he tells the cops. The
cops were like, wait what, And then they start being
able to piece this together. The only problem is they
have no idea where to find Max Wade. He has
falsified all of his stuff. There is no good address.
The school doesn't have an address for him. He's not
(35:26):
old enough to really have a legit license. He just
fakes all of his i ds. So there is no
way for the cops to find this cat. So how
do you find a kid? Do you do? You don't
know where he is, you can't write. That's what the
cops very quickly figure out. But one detective gets lucky.
This detective sees Max Wade into the Marine County courthouse
(35:47):
on a different case. He admitted like a whole party situation.
He gets in trouble, right, so he's there. The detective
recognizement goes, that's that kid who stole Guy Fieri's lambeau.
He follows him and notices basically the kid goes through
some house in Marine County and he's like, that's him.
So now they start basically working with Eva. They're like,
(36:08):
you gotta help us get this kid because we know
he's on for you, right, They now know that he's
in the area. So around that exact same time, my
boy Max Wade makes a faithful mistake of text and Eva,
I know I tried to kill you the other day.
I just want to see are we still cool? And
she's like, well, do you have any more fake ideas?
(36:30):
And she's working with the cops. Yeah, what's that called honeypot? Honeypot?
So she's the classic honeypot. So she's like, you know,
uh yeah, come and uh maybe show up and that's
stolen lambo and we can go for a ride. That
cool with you? And he's like, like, go for a
ride I don't know, like the police station. So there's
(36:50):
really pretty parking line. She is why he stole that lambo.
He wants to impress her. Oh yeah, completely just out
of curiosity. What's the biggest thing you've ever stolen to
necessarily impress somebody? Just that you know? Okay, well, you know,
I'm just going to be the truthful. The biggest thing
I've ever stolen was the hearts of my countrymen with
my piccolo rendition of Gasolina at the nineteen fifty two
(37:14):
Pan American Games. I knew I shouldn't have asked. You
should know better by now. That truly is the That's
the biggest thing I've ever stolen. That's that's impressive. I
thought it was gonna be the love of the Argentinian
people that you stole from the via to Peron. Oh
that's the Pales in comparison. Yeah, well, you know, what
can you do? So Wade agrees to meet Eva in
(37:37):
Guys here he's stolen Lambeau. He shows up at his
Richmond storage unit to go pick up his yellow car.
The cops have figured out at this point where he is.
They've tracked him, they know that he's there. There's fifteen
cops waiting outside of the Richmond storage unit. It's a Saturday,
ap roughly two weeks after the shooting event. Now there
(37:57):
are fifteen cops sitting there waiting for him. They exactly right.
They let him go in, get the car, and drive away.
He drives across the five ad bridge across rich Sandra
Fell Bridge. Yes, you're old bridge. That thing is falling apart.
He's lucky he didn't fall out, totally lucky he didn't
(38:18):
get hit by a chunk of cement. So he's racing
across that old bridge, headed to Marine County, going to
Eva's place. Right, the cops are still, mind you back
at the at the storage unit. So right, So they
didn't give chase. They just let him. Oh, they're just
letting him. Remember you were saying about the honeypot you.
So Eva contexts and text him according to police instruction,
(38:40):
she says, I can't meet you today? Can we meet later?
And shines him. He's like okay whatever, turns around, drives
back to the waiting police. That gave them time to
set up. Yeah, they literally are set up there in trees.
They're in unmarked cars. There's a plane circling over the storage.
You know, you know that one of them was pushing
(39:03):
an old grocery cart full of recycling and had like
smeared stuff on his face and was all raggedy, but
was wearing like Dockers and Kirkland elevens. Then he didn't
tend to back the blue hat exactly. Just all oh
my rooms, so bones like he's overplaying the whole character.
(39:24):
They're just like, we can't we cannot invite Ken on
these on these steakhouats anymore. It's embarrassing. If it doesn't
involve the waterfront. Ken can't come. Kenn has like a
sailor costume. One ye, sorry. They're sitting there waiting in
the trees. Ken's pushing his bag down the street and
(39:47):
Wade shows up right he pulls back in. Do the
cops take him. No, they let him go back inside.
He doesn't come out for an hour. He's just They're like, wait,
do we make a mistake. And VANGELI, I don't know.
I like to imagine he's sitting there and guy fieres
Lambo just crying to him, crying. Yeah, he got stood up.
(40:07):
I mean he's tried so hard. He tried to kill
a man for her. He stole the guy fieres lambeau
for her, and she just won't take him seriously, and
he's either, why are you breaking a man's heart? So
eventually he manages to come out, and he had been
dropped off by a friend who drove a Crown Victoria
and so the cop car he walks back out. He
thinks he's you know, he's sitting there staring at his
(40:28):
cellphone waiting for this guy to pick him back up,
and he notices this Crown Victoria coming towards him, so
he like walks over, thinking it's his friend. Nope, it's
an undercover car. The second one pulls up, he realizes,
wait a minute, these are cops. He sees the cop
in the tree, he bolts. He tries to make it
a run for it. The cops jump out right now.
One of the cops grabs him, another one kicks him,
(40:48):
another one kicks him in the chest. They're beating on
this kid, right, but they have good reason. According to
the police. Apparently he's like reaching for his waistband, which
you know, I mean the kids a white kid. I
don't even know they said that about white kids fan,
but that's what they said about him. Ye, yeah, he's
they're like ken. But turns out home he had a
(41:09):
loaded glock forty five with about fifty rounds of ammunition,
so he could have been like and they didn't just
light him up and they didn't know that they found
it when they searched him because remember before he had
just had that Saturday Night special like subway stick up gun. Yeah,
but so they find that, uh, he's got a real gun.
(41:31):
That explains why they had to beat the you know,
the underhaged boy. Anyway, he's got, of course, a fake
I d on him. Now. Can you guess with this
fake idea is Oh my god, is it Guy Ferry
his real name? That would have been great one. No,
this one was Dr and Agnello Gotti, you know, like
(41:52):
John Gotti, Remember well, and Agnello isn't that the Fiat guy. Yeah, okay,
on it with the Italian carmakers. It's in my blood
and apparently the Max too. So the cops now rest
Max Wade. He's busted. Everything's calmed down. They go down
(42:13):
to a storage unit. They find the yellow Lambeau right
where it was, and I'm talking this thing was tucked
in within inches of the walls. Like he barely squeeze
us into the storage unit. But in there with the
with Guy Fierries Lambeau is the motorcycle, the guns, the outfits.
He's got jammers literally books for future crimes. Ken, you
(42:34):
know Ken locked into the warehouse and put his hand
on the hood of the Lamborkhan. He goes still warm, Kennan,
your crack detective skills. Can someone get him out of here?
Can we transfer him? So there also is a bill
of sale. He had sold Guy Fieri's cards some owner
in the Dominican Republic and it was supposed to get
on like some like you know, storage unit container ship
(42:56):
and sent down to the d R. It didn't make it.
He almost bought that close. Yeah, So now the luck
of ge is gonna hold though, because now he's already
filed with his insurance company because they couldn't find the car,
so he's been paid out the two dollars. He's not
really like, you know, too worried about it. Well, he
(43:18):
loves it. Like he finds out it's stolen, He's not
like on his knees screaming to the sky my my
prize possession. He's like, oh one of my you know,
ridiculous supercars was stolen. Well we also, I'm not even
know this, but guy fiery, you know, the love of
my life. Yeah, he is a big Chevy man. So
most of his cars are cor The first car he
(43:38):
bought was a Corvette. When he first made his money
on the Food Network, he bought some tricked out Corvette.
He loves Chevy, so the Lambo to him is like
I think to impress other people. Okay. Also, by the way,
he has this car, it's shown up on Driver or
whatever Triple D, and he doesn't think the production associates mentioned.
He doesn't drive it. He just opens the door, kids
and open gets out. He just acts pull it up
(44:02):
and he acts like I'm gonna drive away in this
rad my bitchen lambeau, and then he just gets right
back out and goes into the him. Good for him,
it's just it's just fake as his prop. It's top.
So now Max Wade has to go to obviously have
a trial because he's now being investigated for attempted murder impersonating.
(44:25):
It turns out of police and all sorts of stuff
he's got, like fake uniforms. The guy has jammers for
police radios and for cell phones. I mean, he's doing
all sorts of crimes. It's just a laundry list. And
you know, he's also suspected to have been involved in
some break ins, but it turns out he's too slight
for that. But they were trying to attach him to
all these like crimes that they couldn't haven't been able
(44:46):
to close the book on yet. Right, So, now, what
do you think Max Wade's gonna do when he's locked
up in remind you juvenile hall, because he's still not
even eighteen. Does he do something terrible? Does he like
shive somebody? No? Really, that guy, I mean, even though
I know he did try to kill his love rival
with us Saturday Night Special, he's not the kind of
shift somebody in jail. Instead, he's the kind of guy
(45:09):
to get two of his idiot cronies to show up
to Juvie with a sledgehammer and try to break him out.
Bang bang. These guys had like four thirty in the morning,
I'm working with sledge hammers, trying to fast sledge hammers
from outside the cell. They're just sitting there smacking it
at four thirty in the morning. There's nothing going on
at four thirty in the morning except everybody's going to
(45:30):
hear that. Forty guards, forty Julie guards come rushing in
and they stopped Max Wade from getting his masterminded getaway.
And they go outside and they find the sledge hammers
and everything, but his his associates have disappeared more honestly, yes, exactly.
So why do you think he tried to do that, Well,
I mean he wanted to get out. I don't know
(45:52):
you wanted to get away, right, But also he was
about turn eighteen, an eighteenth birthday was coming up, and
that meant he would be transferred to a prison. He
didn't want to be around the real criminals. It was
his last chance to avoid that. Like too bad, buddy. Yeah,
So October rolls around and we now have the attempted
(46:14):
murder and theft case. Guess who is a star witness,
Your man Gie Fieri. So while like you have to
understand this is like a circus of a trial, right,
so that everybody wants in on this because this kid,
I mean, he's basically become an internet legend. It's so
some people may not remember this. He was an internet legend.
(46:35):
There were, in fact, a friend of his posted songs
on YouTube about him. He had his own folk hero ballots,
murder ballot exactly. So everybody is, like, you know, wanting
to get in on this court case. Only one reporter
is allowed in the room, a student from Redwood High School,
one of alumni. Yeah, he's allowed to be the only
(46:56):
one in the high school newspaper. Yeah, it's amazing. Right.
So then there, of course obviously is a court reporter
right now. The court reporter is the way that we
know what it looks like inside the courtroom, since there
was no press other than the school newspapers. Like a
sketch artist. So yeah, exactly, the courtate sorry, court sketch arts,
not court reporters, court sketch artist. The sketch artist manages
(47:19):
to capture your g Fieri and all his glory on
the witness stand. Now here, let me show you this photo. Okay,
oh yeah, Now could you just try to describe it
for the listening audience? Okay? Um, first of all, like
we're putting this on the Ridiculous Crime Instagram so that
(47:39):
everyone can take a look at this. You have to
be able to see that. How did the artist manage
to make him look sweaty? Like meat? Sweats are hard
to capture in pastel. It really is a talented artist. Yeah,
it kind of it looks like he'd have a stuicy
tattoo on his shoulder blade. And the look on his face.
(47:59):
He kind of looks like the ticket taker just told
him his general admission ticket to who was saying as
counterfeit and he's going to have to go back out
and enjoy the rest of the county fair. Like his hair,
the hair, the hair cut. It looks like he was
in a mac and cheese blossom and I swear to
God people there are no lies. And looks the look
(48:22):
on his face. Doesn't it look like his mom just
found his trash bag full of stolen panties in the
bottom of his closet. What what is that? Weird look
on the Oh my goodness, don't be mad at me, mommy. Yeah,
that's a that's a gem. I'm going to get that
printed and framed. Yeah for above the Heart. I mean,
(48:42):
what a joy though, to have Guy Fieri on the
witness stand in your trial and you're not even You're
just an eighteen year old boy and he's bringing it.
Max Wade coming up in the world. Dark power is
what that is. So but man, Max Wade. He gets busted,
convicted on one count of attempted murder of Landing, and
also he gets popped for auto theft and for possession
(49:03):
of a stolen vehicle for shooting into the occupied vehicle,
for trying to kill his love interest. And he gets
acquitted on the attempted murder of Eva because apparently Eva
doesn't want to press charges. I don't know, he couldn't
be convinced that he was trying to kill her. Also,
he is acquitted on the charge of stealing the car.
He doesn't get popped on commercial burglary. I'm not a lawyer,
(49:24):
I'm not a judge. I have no idea. Now, remember
that janitor who was or was not involved, Yeah, the
one who wound up road chum because he was hiding
into the car. Never shows back up never. So we
have this one like mystery out there also the other
mystery who dropped him off when he got we showed
up at his storage unit to pick up the Lambeau.
(49:45):
Remember the cops never talked about that. I know exactly
who it was. Who was it? Fiery, He's in the
Crown vic It's all. It's like, I feel like it's
the end of the usual suspects right now, right, it's
all coming together, and all of sudden the footwork starts
smoothing totally. Guy Fierry doesn't know Limp anyway, I just
(50:05):
dropped my teacup, so so Max Wade, right, he tells
his probation officer. Look, I was by myself. The janitor
had nothing to do with it. Nobody helped me, which
seems like proof that the janitor helped him, right, And
that just seems like immediately so I don't know if
it's like a favorite uncle or somebody. Yeah, they're like,
who helped you with this? He's like, not the janitor,
(50:28):
Like wait what jandit He's like, never mind, I didn't
I didn't say anything. Voices still so in janu Max
Wade has given the maximum sentence life in prison. He
sounds like, you know, I'm torn, How are you torn?
Because he sounds like a dangerous little guy. He sounds
(50:48):
like he might be a little bit of a psychopath.
But at the same time, like, I don't know, I
feel bad for him. I was I was a handful,
I was a troubled kid. I did some stuff. I
never tried shooting anybody, but you know, shy of that.
I can see how stories can be told that people
would see, oh, he's gonna be a big danger when
he gets bigger, which never really was the case. So
(51:09):
I think Max Wade, you know, if things were different,
if somebody could have taken a hand, he might not have,
you know, been this person everybody feared too late. Unfortunately,
he is set up for twenty years of enhancements for
premeditation of a use of a firearm California law dooms,
so he's looking at basically has to do the life sentence,
(51:31):
the twenty years on his enhancements. Then after that he's
got to do sixteen months for stealing Guy Fieri's car.
Then he also has to do the rest of his
life sentence. The other one, he's got to do another one.
But luckily California law changes, he did no longer has
to what would have been that he had to serve
of the twenty one years. He then ends up that
(51:53):
they basically change his sentencing, so that now thanks to
send It Bill six twenty, a California bill that gave
judges the discretion over sentencing and said, no, we're no
longer going to do these sentencing requirements basically that you
have to do because of gun enhancements. Do you any
time to use a gun into the commission of the
prime the enhancement? Right, So they make that no longer
(52:14):
the case. Now judges can decide. The judge of his
case decides and reduces him by ten years. So now
he is eligible for parole in August. So you know that.
Or is a little bit of good news that guy
Fiery got his car back. Well he didn't, well because
he got the payoff. He got the payoffs. So where
(52:34):
is it now? Who has the who has the yellow Lamborghini?
Right now? The insurance company I suppose took it. I suppose,
I'm sure they sold it. So I'm sure we could
find the person who bought the stolen Lambeau. Maybe we'll
come back to you with an update on that. I'm
going to need that. So other than the fact that
guy Fiery is the coolest man on earth, what was
our ridiculous takeaway here? Well, my ridiculous takeaway I think
(52:57):
is that, um, the kid is obviously troubled, but like,
if you're gonna if you're gonna do a crime like
this for a ridiculous reason, for the love of a
seventeen year old girl, I say ridiculous reason. Totally ridiculous reason.
(53:18):
I would have to disagree to a former seventeen year
old boy. I think it's just that's ridiculous. But if
you're gonna do it, just go big. And he did,
and like the most ridiculous We're gonna steal a car,
steal a ridiculous car. And it's not even enough that
it's a yellow Lamborghini is ridiculous in amazing ways. It's
even more ridiculous if the car is belongs to one
(53:40):
g Fieri, Like, that's prime ridiculousness. That's my takeaway. I
think you nailed it. Personally. I think my due would
have been fine if he just stole the car. I
mean nobody would. I think even guy Fiery would have
forgiven him. He liked him, he said, brave kid. Remember
he was like, hey, I like that kid. Yeah. I
mean it's pretty much victimous crime other than the insurance company,
(54:01):
which I have my opinions about that. I'm sure other
listeners may have their opinions about that, But that's like
not really a victim that we're worried about, right, But
his real problem was was he became the victim of
himself when he decided to go full Romeo and Juliet
and try to take out Landing. It was the gun
that was the doom. If he would have been able
to just keep trying to impress her, I think she
(54:22):
might have changed her mind. I mean, well, and a
young guy with a yellow Lamborghini. They're more girls out
there than just Eva. Yeah, exactly. So never bring a
gun to a stolen guy Fiery Lambo fight. Thanks for
joining us, Elizabeth Sutton. You can find us online a
Ridiculous Crime on both Twitter and Instagram. And if you
(54:44):
got a tip for us about a ridiculous crime that
you'd like to hear about, maybe when you participated in
you hit us up that you let us know. And
if you'd like to maybe confess to a ridiculous crime
that you know about that you didn't get yourself involved in,
you can tell us that one to email us at
ridiculous Crime at gmail dot co. UM. Thanks for listening.
We'll be back next time with more ridiculousness. See you later.
(55:10):
Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zarin Burnett,
produced and edited by Dave Kustin. Research is by the
intrepid Marissa Brown. The theme song is by Thomas Lee
and Travis Dutton. Executive producers are Ben Bolan and Lowell Brown.
Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeart Radio. For more
(55:32):
podcasts to my heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Hosts And Creators
Zaron Burnett
Elizabeth Dutton
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