Rainfurrest 2015: Send In the Furries!

In 2015, a convention descended on the Seattle–Tacoma Airport Hilton Hotel. The 3-day gathering of Furries was meant to be a fun place to let your fur down... but some let the fur go too low. Public nudity, diaper fights, drugs, booze, cops, firefighters, ambulances, emergency plumbers –– this story has everything. And then some! 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Elizabeth Saron Burnette.

Speaker 3 (00:06):
How the heck are you?

Speaker 4 (00:07):
I am? Sunshine in a cloudy bottle?

Speaker 3 (00:11):
I like that smile you're wearing.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
It's very convincing. It's good. That's why it's so convincing.
It looks fresh. So you I got a question for you.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yeah, I'm here.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
Did you have a second. Do you know what's ridiculous?

Speaker 4 (00:26):
I do funny? You should mention ridiculous, spread the wealth,
Mcroth the crime dog.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yes, right, take a.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
Bite out of crime. I remember totally Hamm Smoky the Bear,
totally authority figures.

Speaker 4 (00:40):
I like, are you also a fan of Bisquick pancake mix?

Speaker 3 (00:47):
My god, I thought we were going to talk about something.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Are you a fan of Yes?

Speaker 3 (00:53):
I am? Well, No, actually I'm not. I'm a fan
of Crusty's over biscally dense pancakes.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'm glad you not because we're not going to talk
about this wick. We're just talking about mcgraff.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
There's no crossover, no mashup, no disgusting foods.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
Producer Dave take a photo of me. I want to
see what I look like when I'm just so pleased.

Speaker 4 (01:12):
I got something ridiculous about mcgrafth the crime dog, or
rather the gentleman who played McGruff the crime dog.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
Like voice at okay, yes, walked around.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Eight or maybe he was the one who played the voice.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
Anyway, imagine the voice.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
His name was John R. Morales.

Speaker 4 (01:28):
And he got arrested in twenty eleven, arrested McGruff the
crime Dog in Galveston, Texas. Good play to be arrested
because a drug sniffing dog smelled pot, smelled the old
sticky icky in his car.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
He was speeding.

Speaker 4 (01:46):
He got pulled over, okay, and so they looked through
the car and they found diagrams of two indoor pot
growing operations and then a bunch of seeds. Because he
was just like he was a big operation, a parent.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Okay. So he wasn't breaking into these places. He was
going into seeding these places.

Speaker 4 (02:05):
They were his places. So he had like he had
his blueprints, he had his seat. It's like, how I
have like that little notebook that has the layout of
my garden beds that's planted.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
Well he had that.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Wait, this is the naughty two thousand naughties, right, Yeah,
twenty eleven twenty eleven after that.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
But yeah, and so they so the police, they're like,
let's go to his house. I bet she was so
fun there scorated, And.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
So they they take the dog, they go to the house.
They seized one thousand marijuana plants okay, nine thousand rounds
of ammunitions, and twenty seven weapons, which included a grenade launcher.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Wow. Yeah, and he really is about that life. I'm
going to protect my business.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
I guess since three years after his arrest he pleaded
guilty and he was sentenced to sixteen years in jail,
sixteen and it was he was a non violent I mean,
he had weapons.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
I'm sure he had not used them.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
He hadn't used them.

Speaker 4 (03:03):
In the commission, the judge said, quote, everything I read
about you makes you seem like a scary person.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Well, don't be to a judgmental judge.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, judge you much.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
So.

Speaker 4 (03:13):
Anyway, a couple of people sent this to us, And
I don't know if it's maybe he got a prison
or whatever, but so McGruff the crime dog.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Ridiculous, is ridiculous, iron having the.

Speaker 4 (03:24):
Human inside or voicing it, being like.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
A busted by a crime dog, by a crime.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
Dog, also being a crime, like, you know, crimer basically.
Uh yeah, so that is, as we say in the business, ridiculous, ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
So, Lizabeth, I got one for you. Yeah, it does
not involve uh it does. It actually involves the law
and animals and people in furs suits. Oh yeah, so
conventions and airport hotels. Okay, right, that's ridiculous, especially though
if everyone's dressed as a cartoon animal.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Oh my god, are you okay?

Speaker 5 (04:00):
Yeah, this is ridiculous crime A podcast about absurd and

(04:25):
outrageous capers. He and cons It's always ninety nine percent
order of free and one hundred percent ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Yay, Elizabeth ar furries?

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah you never heard of thought? You were going to
go there?

Speaker 3 (04:38):
Yes, you know what they are? Right, hold that thought.
Bronie's what about Bronie? Have you ever heard of them?

Speaker 2 (04:44):
I've heard of them?

Speaker 3 (04:45):
Okay. Do you know the difference between a bronie and
a furry?

Speaker 4 (04:48):
Well, Bronie is it's just my little pony. Correct, and
furries could be any kind of very good Woodland animated creature.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
A Bronie may be a furry, but a furry need
not be Yeah, Bronie, Yeah, there it is okay, So
we'll start with the Bronie because I have a little
more experience with them. I'm sorry, what, Yeah, I have
a little more experience that this is going to be
our gateweight drug to the wonderful wide world of Furris
Elizabethe no, but I wish I could be like, Okay,

(05:17):
I'm going to share with you today, here's the big reveal.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
And you turn around and you have one of them.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
Let me get my sparkle shot pats.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah, yeah, you got one of them.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Tails exactly like bushy tail that comes up with an arch.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
Yeah, like those shoes that look like hoofs.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
If I was I would have the dopest tail. I'm
telling you, I believe it. Forget a man, I want
a tail. All right, Well, Bronie's they can essentially be
summed up in one sentence.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Okay, let's hear it.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
They're full on adults who love a little kids cartoon
show about the adventures of a group of magical ponies.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
Yeah right, scientific scientific. I like the scientific term of
full on adults.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
It's very scientific in my world. Basically, they love the
reboot of My My Little Pony franchise. There's a reboot
of it. Yeah, that's what they love. They don't love
the originally, They love the reboots primarily. Now, did I
ever tell you about I once went to a Broni convention.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
No, you did not.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
It still doesn't make me a Bronie. I was at
the convention, but it does not make me a Bernie.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
Wearing an outfit doesn't. That doesn't make I.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
They have been wearing hooves. But but I was there
working at the time. The time I was writing for Playboy.
They would send me on the road for like reporting trips. Right,
it was a great job. I loved it, right, gigs
with that totally it. I got sent north to the
San Francisco Airport Hyatt Regency for a Brony convention.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
And there, you know the.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Hotel boom, so that hotel filled that that lobby and everything,
and then the convention floor that's just filled with songs
of my little pony people singing them on like acoustic
guitars like that. Yeah, so this is a Brone convention.
The idea was I would go there and see what

(07:02):
all the fuss was about Men's magazine. We're like, why
are these men so into these ponies?

Speaker 2 (07:06):
Right?

Speaker 3 (07:06):
Why do grown men want to dress up as pink ponies?
Essentially the question my editors wanted. That was the angle. Okay,
but I got to tell you, Elizabeth, I was surprised
by what I found. Really, I was surprised by what
I found. I swear to god. You ever been to
a fan convention anything like this, comic con, a trecky convention,
a chili concarne.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
I can't say I have. I've been to a chili cookoff.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
Well, chili con carney, that's for red Hot Chili Peppers.
Super fan conventions.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
I'm kind of no.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
I just made that up exactly. I threw that one
in there just for fun. Anyway, Bronie's they're a hardcore fandom,
right so they're more intense than Swifties. Don't send me
heat mail. They're more creative than trekkies, about the more
loyal than Rihanna's Navy and the Beehive combined. Yeah, I
know even possible. What I found was they were super friendly,
right now, some of them were as quick to smiles

(07:51):
about as like a used car salesman, like sizing up
your pocket. But it wasn't. They didn't make me uncomfortable.
They just had this like odd familiarity because they're like
super friendly. It's kind of like Tom Cruise where he's
just on he's trying to be really engaging. It's that
without the agenda of being. It's the same kind of
like you're just extra.

Speaker 4 (08:09):
You know how Like care Bears from the same era,
they're all about loving, totally loving people and being that
were my Little Pony?

Speaker 3 (08:18):
Was that the same kind and the new in the
reboot definitely they pushed that, right, So it's all about friendship.
Friendship is magic is one of the crazy Okay, now
it is. It's magical. Elizabeth does stuff. So but they
really push this idea of positivity, but not like like,
oh it's plur man like you'll find like in Rave
community plur It doesn't matter. It's an acronym for positivity, love.

(08:40):
I think unity and radiation radiation raving anyway, I forget
the R, but basically it's an acronym. Then in like
the Dance and EDM, community is like being. It's a
it's a way of saying, we're all community. Let's be
about love guys. Right, So imagine like if you totally
it's the same. People keep trying to come up with
different stuff the way to say it anyway, these people

(09:01):
really push it in a way that I was convinced
is what I'm saying. Right, There's this one guy spoke
with Elizabeth. The dude was wearing wings, right, two tone
lavender purple wig, super all purple outfit. Right, so yeah,
he was like he wasn't a Yeah he was a
pegasust I guess because the wings, but no horn, so
he was in a unicorn pegasus. Anyway, he passed while
I was waiting in line for a presentation called My

(09:22):
Little Pony and the Symbolism of the Tarot. Now, so
after that talk, I caught up with him.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
I want to know who had to put in the
abstract to give that.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
You should have seen all these like they had so
many of the like I could just sit here for
the next hour. Yeah, we would just be like, let's
talk about the lineup of speakers. It was amazing, right,
So there I am at My Little Pony and the
Symbolism the Tarot talk. Afterwards, I catch up to him.
Dude's name tells me his name is Frank. He's also
in the talk, right, so no, he tells me how
he's been into my little pony for like a year

(09:51):
and a half. Now he's dressed in full purple, the
wings everything, year and a half deep into it, he's
already boom, like full convert. Yeah, he has a friend
with him and Frank's friend. He's even more chatty than Frank,
thank god, because I'm a reporter and he's somebody give
me answers, right, So he's answering my questions about how
they've been into other fandoms, like oh yeah, like, hey,
you guys like like fandoms the guys and so Frank's

(10:11):
friend Dave, he's like this more resembles the anime fandom
and the furry fandom, but more combined in a new way. Okay, right,
and like thanks Dave, way to lay it out now, Dave,
he speaks like a shy metal head teen right, So
imagine like.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
Parking lot total parking lot boom.

Speaker 4 (10:27):
Right.

Speaker 3 (10:27):
So Dave tells me how he was. As he put it,
I was kind of I was friendly, but I was
running the risk of becoming a social recluse. And then
I found the fandom, and I tried to go into
meetups and meeting people, and I became more friendly, right,
And I like that as a man. As a young man,
he felt he needed some social work. He didn't turn
to YouTube influencers. He didn't give his mind and soul
over to the men who promised to teach him how

(10:48):
to be a real man. Right, and it's good exactly.
He gets deep into unicorns and pink ponies. I'm bless
good on you, Dave, and so Dave. He says that
with the sort of pride of someone who's like I
don't solved his own problems. He's like, there's two main conventions.
I go to this one in the Brony con that's
in Baltimore. I paid one thousand dollars for my ticket
to come out here.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
WHOA.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
I was like, WHOA, yeah, exactly, Elizabeth, whoa these dudes
they flew cross country for their Brony convention. And these
are active duty soldiers who were in the US Navy
station in Virginia, Top Yes, and you know me. So
I had to ask. I said, like, if you guys
are in the military, you're with a bunch of like
trained badass guys men and women who like to kick ass,
take names and all that. Right, So what do you
think about you guys? Being into my little pony. Like

(11:28):
the soldier next to him in the foxhole is like,
I got my wings, you know, Like what do they
think of They make fun of Franken Dave for dressing
up like rebooted ponies when the Little Girls show from
the eighties, and Frank and Dave they know what I'm asking, right,
They don't take too much of an insult. I'm trying
to be reporter kind about it. Yeah, And for a
moment they kind of fall silent. I'm like, God, did
I offend them? You guys know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
It's gonna be good for like the Navy Marines rivalries.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
It's not gonna help the game, the big Navy Army game. Yeah,
but they knew I got to ask, right. Sometimes you
got to ask the questions that hurt. Right. So Dave
the friend says, Honestly, people do make fun of us
sometimes outside of here, and I was like, outside of
the convention, yeah, And so now I feel bad for
the dudes, right, they just want to be happy. So
I tell him, well, you know, I'm not even lying, right,
But I tell Frank and Dave, I'm super impressed by

(12:11):
you guys, Like I mean, you guys are genuine about
this and like Bronie's. You guys are kind of punk rock,
like with the pink ponies and stuff. I love this
and like they kind of smiled. They like that, right,
So then I spot this guy, right, I'm like, I
let them pass and go and do about their way.
And I spot this guy. He's wearing a suit and
a tie, and I'm like, what's up with homie? Right?
Is he like someone's dad? Is he like here? Like
I parked the minivan? You guys tell me when you
want me to pick you up for lunch? But no, bro,

(12:33):
I'm like, you're are you at the wrong spot? But
he was not. He was not at the wrong airport hotel.
He didn't check into the wrong line. It wasn't one
of those right. He's also a young cat. He's got
like rosy cheeks. He kind of looks like like a
like a Mormon comes door to door and he's like, hey,
wo'd you guys heard about this?

Speaker 2 (12:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (12:47):
Or I think more fairly, he looks like he could
sell that like the hell out of a timeshare, you know.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
What I mean.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
Like he's just a little like you kind of trust him,
but you also kind of know, he's like trying to
get you over on something.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
Anyway.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
The guy turns out to be one of the head organizers, right,
and I'm like, okay, that's why you got that. I
can sell stagnized at the State Fair vibe wearing a suit.
He's wearing a suit exactly.

Speaker 6 (13:06):
Now.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
Bronis often find their way into the fandom because they
can be socially awkward.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, that kind of right.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
So we have so this guy is holding it down right,
So he tells me how I still work a day job,
I bought a house, I got married. I actually got
engaged at a Bronie convention. I had a second wedding
for my pony friends at a pony convention.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
Whoa yes.

Speaker 3 (13:24):
And I asked him, like, dude, your wife are Bernie
and what's up with this? And he's like yeah, you know,
like do you have basically, can you have a happy
marriage as a Bronie and a non Bronie or do
you both have to be Bronie's.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
Well, like, is Bronie just a man's thing or is
there's women too? There are women Bronie.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
Some women they're all Bronies. They No, there's not like
Cesoni's or something.

Speaker 4 (13:45):
Well, yeah, I thought it was like bros.

Speaker 3 (13:48):
Is that way, but it's I don't know, I don't
know have to tell you about that. I didn't get
a good answer on that.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Pony files his wife.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
She tells me she wasn't there, but he tells me
that is why life was. As he put it, she's tolerant.
So I'm like, okay, so what does that mean, right?
And he's like, well, she's a Harry Potter person.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
Geez.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
I'm like she looked down on you as a Bronie
like you guys are a new fandom, Like you're new
on the block as a fandom like that. How this goes?
I mean like this is like Catholics looking down on
like Mormons raving a new faith, Like what's going on here?
So anyway, he tells me she's very supportive of everything
I do, right, So I'm like, okay, that's good anyway,
So it seems like that's a key to a happy marriage,
to be supportive. I don't know. I'm not married yet.

(14:30):
So my whole point is, after spending the weekend with
the Bronies, it changed me. Elizabeth and I saw a firsthand.
It did about how support and community can make young men,
young men, men who feel lost, alone, confused whatever, into
better people. And I was stoked on that kid who
really are struggling with that at the time. Right, So
I'm like, okay, grown men who love to play with
their sparkly ponies and brush their manes and sing songs

(14:51):
together like the little girls. They seem to be some
of the happiest people I've seen on the planet in
my reporting.

Speaker 4 (14:57):
And they're not putting like anger and toxicity out there
exactly behind anyone who is in that mode.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
I liked how the brownies were inspired by femininity, not
threatened by it. Yeah, and they influenced themselves with it.
These are like good people, as I'm saying, folks just
trying to get by loving ponies.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
I realized I have been to a convention.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
Oh what's your convention?

Speaker 2 (15:16):
The MLA modern language that accounts.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
I guess that's more of like an academic convention, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (15:25):
Anyway, So anyway, at the end of this convention, in
the grand ballroom, the attendees, they all gathered together and
in the crowd as one, they chanted in one voice, fun, fun, fun, fun,
And I was like, Okay, you guys are taking a
little far, but I was excited for them, right, it
was wild, Elizabeth. Anyway, my skepticism had vanished for that moment,
and you know how much that means to me to
have my skepticism vanished for a moment. So anyway, speaking

(15:48):
of all that, did you hear about the army of
self described and I quote anti US government gay furries.
They've been hacking into state agencies in six different US states, wait,
and then releasing embarrassing data online. Yes, in news coverage
of the quote anti government gave furries the British paper,
The Guardian, they said, and they're trying to helpfully inform

(16:09):
any confused readers. And they said, and I quote furries
are a subculture united by passion for anthropomorphism. That's one
way to put it, right, but I'll put it in
a little different way. Yeah, furries are folks who like
to dress up like college mascots essentially, but rather than
the giant tree of the Stanford's mascot, they like to
dress up as cartoon and comic animals.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:28):
Yeah, they call those their first sona as in their
persona with furs. Sou Let's take a little break, Elizabeth,
and then you get back. I'll tell you now about
the furries.

Speaker 7 (16:38):
Oh boy, and we're back all right, Elizabeth.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
I got a pop quiz question for you.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
Yeah, pop quiz hot shot.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
When do you think furries became a thing?

Speaker 2 (17:09):
I want to say in the nineties, earlier eighties?

Speaker 3 (17:13):
Yes, eighties, nineteen eighty three, some say, others say in
nineteen eighty four.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
That's like the heyday of mascot costumes.

Speaker 3 (17:22):
The eighties. I think maybe like changing materials, something happened
where it was like people were still doing it here,
like big On. The mascots had a lot of energy
they put into it, and then all of a sudden,
the materials got cheaper and the something you could universalize
and everybody could have their own.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
Maybe I don't know what happened.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
But anyway, high school, did you did you guys have
like a mascot costumes?

Speaker 3 (17:41):
Oh my god, our mascot costume was ridiculous. It was
a guy running around with the Blue devils, a guy
running around with a small like red plastic trident and
a pair of blue devil horns. And then they just
wear like we had every year, like a T shirt.
You could buy to like support the schold like basketball
team or whatever, and then he'd be wearing that and
then just blue jeans and that was the out that
everybody wore. That was our blue devils. That was just it,

(18:03):
two blue worms and a red plastic trident and just
running around with the enthusiasm of a kid on like
those little sugar candies where they.

Speaker 4 (18:10):
Break openxies are the best, like the cheapest.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
Just nothing. So what about y'all, do you have one?

Speaker 2 (18:16):
We were the monarchs, like the lions.

Speaker 4 (18:20):
The yes, okay, it should have been like the butterflies,
but yeah, the Monarchs.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
And there. So there was a lion costume.

Speaker 3 (18:30):
And is it a lioness or does it have a.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
Main I don't remember. I think it had a Maine
central cross dressing. And it was for a short person
and it worked when and it smelled terrible, like when
the person would wear it walking by, like oh my god,
how are they doing?

Speaker 2 (18:44):
Because they never did.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
It was very foam something old.

Speaker 4 (18:50):
And it was really funny when the taller girls had
to wear it stretch it out. Yeah, they would just
sort of like have to hunch over it tight.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (18:59):
It had a felt crown. I feel Oh wow, maybe
I'm imagining that.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
Either way, I like it whatever, it's stank.

Speaker 3 (19:06):
So nineteen eighty four in the Bay Area, Yeah, stories
came about and they were in the Bay Area. They
came about and they were like, we're gonna deal with
the stank issue that Elizabeth is been deviled by.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
No, actually, I don't know. I won't even get into that.
You can just picture that on your own, So let
me lay out a little.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
Timeline for you, Okay.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
In May of nineteen eighty four, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird,
two indie comic book creators. They self published the first
issue of a landmark comic book, one that would change
the culture, Batman, Teenage Mutant, Ninja Turtles WHOA. It becomes
hugely popular, like almost instantly.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
Right.

Speaker 3 (19:43):
The comics feature of these anthropomorphised human animal hybrids who
are funny, smart, and they're also into the sins and
vices of adult humans. These og comics, they were very
different from the later cartoon TV shows and maybe franchises.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
They were dark, right, did not know it was a
comic book?

Speaker 3 (19:57):
Oh my god, yeah, cartoon. I actually knew about it
when it came out as a comic book because of
what I'm about to tell you that there was this
onslaught of imitators, and so I caught up a teenage
mutant ninja turtle because of the imitators. Okay buried next year,
starting well in eighty five and eighty six, but mostly
in eighty six, you get these books like preteen Dirty

(20:17):
Gene Kung Fu Kangaroos. Right, there's also geriatric gangreen jiu
Jitsu Gerbils. There's the cold blooded chameleon Commandos. There were
the mildly microwaved pre pewbescent gophers, microwaved pre pubescent gophers.
There was also the naive interdimensional commando Koalas, and finally

(20:38):
the adolescent radioactive black Belt Hamsters, which I think I
still have a copy of. Really yes, And that same year,
an indie comic book publisher launched a series called Critters.
It lasted fifty issues and it would become this influential
comic book to the development of furries. Okay, full Confessional Elizabeth.
I bought some of these comic books, Like, I was
reading about this fandom when it was happening, right, I

(20:59):
was kind of surprised, I know, ever became a furry.
When I was reading about the timeline, I was like,
how did I miss all this song happening right around me? Anyway,
So I bought Critters. I loved that comic book.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
You know, we'll probably get rid of them and they
go they get them cheap.

Speaker 3 (21:14):
It comes stent yeah, stopper, the ELM. It would be good. Yeah.
Now you remember I told you I bought a comic
book off eBay because it was published with a paper
thin vinyl forty five record printed in the back of
the comic. On once it was a blues song about
a blues band composed of Teddy Bears, and on the
other side was a dark horror comedy song about what
ducks are doing at night in the park.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
Some people are like, I can't wait to get paid.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
So exactly I found on this issue of Critters. Yeah,
and the song though that I wanted about the ducks
was written by comic book legend Alan Moore. So this was, like,
I'm telling you, like deep comic book like history.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
Right.

Speaker 3 (21:50):
There's another one called fish Police that I liked that
was also about these anthropomorphized fish police who are wait
for it, police. Yes, it was fish underwater. Everybody's fish,
but it's police and it's like nineteen fifties nineteen ever.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
Think community has to police itself in some sense exactly.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
So these are these foundational texts for furries, this idea,
these anthropomorphized animals who act like humans. They're doing the sex,
they're doing the drugs, they're doing the car crashing, they're
doing the policing. They're doing all this wrong. And you
don't always see in comic books previously, like yeah, the Casper,
the ghost era of anthropomorphized humans. They were like silly,
cuddly creatures. They were like I gotta get to my

(22:27):
job and I'm getting divorced. You know, that's way these
comic books had, right. So anyway, this leads to these
fur clad chaos eventually. So how do we get from
one to the other. Well, there was the furry events
because first as they tell you that the comic books,
and then people are like, oh, at the comic cons
at the comic book festivals, they start going, I want
to get these they get they start building energy around

(22:49):
certain comic.

Speaker 2 (22:50):
Books, and then gritty ones exactly.

Speaker 3 (22:51):
The gritty animal one. So eventually you have a furry
event event at a comic book convention, right, and the
first one is the Prancings Gil Tear Party. It was
quote the first publicized open funny animal fan party. This
is all their language. I went to like first science
dot com to find this stuff. I wanted to speak
in their language. Right, So s this furry animal party.

(23:13):
It goes down where in a fan convention in Sacramento.
Hell yeah, nineteen eighty five. Wow, you were there, So
not at the convention, but in Sacramento. Now one year
to the teenage mutant Ninja turtles hit. This is all
this energy's going, right. So this first official furry party
gets held in San Diego at the Sci Fi and
Comics Convention down there.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Right, it's like the big one.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
Right, Well, the comic con was down there back daddy exactly, Coasta,
Mesa and San Diego. These like the big one. So
the furry party's flyers publicizing this party, they luridly featured
quote funny animal pin up art, so imagine like sexy
cats and foxes exactly, hubba hubb of like Vixen's with
bazoom so perfect. You know this. So this first furry

(23:57):
party gives the fandom its name. Oh right, and it's
reputation for adult.

Speaker 4 (24:02):
Themes, right right, yeah, because it's not just oh I
like to wear these costumes.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
No, it's always like sexy.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
It's not safe for work exactly, there's this extra edge.

Speaker 3 (24:12):
Yeah, yeah, it's like anyway, nineteen ninety Furries they hold
their first all furry convention. Same year in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
a group of Carnegie Mellon students found the Furry Home
at Squirrel Hill. No relation to them being furries, just
the name of the hill, but anyway, it's a home
for furries, the furry Friendly Student Communist. It is the

(24:33):
first one ever established house last for four years as
a safe place for these like furry Carnegie Mellon students.
Now around that same time, across the pond over in
the UK, in nineteen ninety two, Ian Curtis in Vice
British Furries to gather with a band of visiting US
furries and the two fandoms party together at Ian Curtis's
home in Surrey, England. And in case you're confused, Elizabeth,

(24:55):
it's not that Ian Curtis not the Joy Division lead singer.
He was no longer nineteen eighty. Yeah, he's definitely gone.
He wasn't like, oh, he faked his death and he's
now become a furs. I thought you were trying to
different Ian Curtis, and he's considered the godfather of British
furris anyway, according to WikiFur dot com. Because as I
told you, I think it's important that we have these
people tell you who they are.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Saron, you're a journalist.

Speaker 3 (25:17):
It's what I do, Elizabeth, I ask questions.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
So I asked dot com their sources.

Speaker 3 (25:22):
Yeah, who is this Ian Curtis who is not the
Joy Division singer, And they're like, oh, he's a true
British eccentric And WikiFur dot com put it and I
quote delighting in the absurd. Ian was a furry war gamer,
modeler and a contributor writer to the military press, doing
research for the Jane's Weapons and other military periodicals of

(25:43):
its kind. So this guy's like deep in all these communities, right,
he's making little models for like the Battles of Waterloo
and stuff.

Speaker 4 (25:49):
Yeah, but it's he's got like the model and like
the collector aspect of them. But like the military and
the furry is calling me back to the Navy guys
being Bronie.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
Yes, it's interesting.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
There's a very interesting connection.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
The traditional male who wants to like Also, I don't
know what it is.

Speaker 4 (26:07):
What do you think I think that they're you know,
I'm just gonna say I've done all the research on it,
and there is a genetic component that they've been able
to isolate a component six eight.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
Yes, and see that's my journalist.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
Well this duty and Curtis he would and I quote
would without or with friends, attended weird tests of British
war machinery and gatted about servying old battlefields and clambering
through their ruins. I love this guy. This dude sounds
fun right. He's like my kind of guy. He's our
kind of guy. Right now, lately you may have heard

(26:45):
some talk with furries in the press. They've been popping
up because you can basically blame Congresswoman Laura and Bobert.
In twenty twenty two, the Colorado congresswoman was speaking on
luncheon for the group Mesa County Republican Women, and Bobert
said in her prepared remark for that day, just one
week earlier, she'd received at her congressional office, Elizabeth a
phone call. What was his phone call? Was from a

(27:06):
father Elizabeth, and the father wanted help. Why do you
want help, Elizabeth because his kid was in trouble? What
kind of troubles, Aaron, great question, Elizabeth. The kid was
in trouble for quote, stepping on a furry This is
what she said in speech. In speech, now, I don't
even know what that means. But Bober went on to
clarify her remarks. The congresswoman told the ladies luncheon that quote,

(27:27):
they are putting litter boxes in schools for people who
identify as cats. Durango is doing this. This is how
extreme it is. And Durango is a city in Colorado. Now,
just to clear the air, whatever she's claiming is not true,
because schools in Colorado are not putting out litter boxes
for students to identify as cats. Now. Of course, Carlos Luise,

(27:47):
the Durango School District's public information officer, confirmed this, and
Slewi said and I quote absolutely not true, and added
that it's important that real facts are shared and we
appreciate the opportunity to clarify what's not true. Respect that game.
That's why I'm going out out there quote in WikiFur
dot com. I want the fact. So what are the
facts of furries and they're growing popularity, Elizabeth. According to

(28:09):
first science dot Com and I quote, furry fandom is
an inclusive term that describes the communities of furries that
span online, local, and international settings. The furry fandom is global,
with hundreds of local groups existing worldwide and dozens of
conventions held annually. But there's layers to this, Elizabeth. In
the half imagined land of furries, about quote ten percent

(28:32):
of the furries call themselves varians, and they claim to
be quote less than or more than one hundred percent human,
as in, they are quote an animal trapped in a
human body or were an animal in a former life
end quote. Then there is another subset of furries. They're
called other kin. Now they feel they are quote spiritually
connected to non human species, but the species extend to

(28:55):
mystical species such as dragons, griffins, and minotaurs. Now for
some demographic breakdown, Elizabeth, back to firstscience dot com, quote,
more than seventy five percent of furries are under the
age of twenty five. Approximately eighty four percent of furries
identify as male, thirteen percent female, and two point five
percent are transgender. That means Elizabeth. Furries are and I

(29:16):
quote predominantly eighty three point two percent white, and I
quote approximately one third identifies exclusively heterosexual. Furries are about
five times more likely to identify as exclusively homosexual than
the general population. In other words, furries are predominantly young,
white gay men. Okay, so there's one major factor. Quote.
When compared to a control group, furries were significantly more

(29:38):
likely to have a history of being physically and verbally bullied.
And lastly, most importantly, and I quote, approximately seventy percent
say that they have told almost no one that they
see in their day to day life e g. Work.
Approximately sixty percent of furries agreed that they felt prejudiced
against furries from society, while approximately forty percent of furries
felt that being a furry was not socially acceptable. So now,

(30:00):
when these young gay white men seek help from counselors
and therapists and need to report that they are a furry,
this is often seen as proof of a problem. So
at first science dot Com they report and a quote.
Most furries represent themselves and interact with the fandom, using
personas that represent idealized versions of themselves, usually more outgoing sociable, extroverted,
and confident than themselves. So it is the first sona

(30:23):
literally is a persona in.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
First sure, right, so an avatar?

Speaker 3 (30:26):
Yes, it's like yes, like Beyonce has Sasha Fears, right,
they have like Kitty Fears.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah, and what's his name, Chris Gaines?

Speaker 3 (30:33):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 4 (30:34):
Now, what I think is curious is that the bulk
of them, the hard majority of them, are under the
age of twenty five, which means their brains haven't fully developed.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
That as well good things. Keep in mind all this escapism, though.

Speaker 4 (30:45):
You look at someone who totally feels not accepted in society. Now,
when you get into that thing though, with like the
ones who think they really are.

Speaker 3 (30:53):
Yes, but also, you know what happens with a human being.

Speaker 2 (30:55):
You can't coddle that. You have to nip it in
the butt. And I know I'm gonna upset them, but
you know whatever, I'm gonna nip it in the bud
for you. Let's get this right.

Speaker 4 (31:03):
You got to stop that wichends what you mean by
identify You know what I mean now, I'm talking about
the ones who really believe that they're like the party
elf or whatever.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
When you get to the science of like I'm partmnotar.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
Sixty percent fox, and you know.

Speaker 3 (31:16):
You're not doing yourself an any favorite stop it. Yeah,
I don't mind. I mean not to like pull up
from the indigenous like a spirit animal, but following the
idea that you can be drawn to a thing, I mean.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
We all, we all have affinities for things connected or
if you.

Speaker 3 (31:29):
Try to say like you are a thing, stop it anyway.
Now that you have a sense of who furries are, right,
and how they come about and why they came about,
and how they are different from Broni's which can be
a bit confusing for some, which is why I want
to draw that out for you, right, and also remember
what happens when a human being puts on a mask.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Are these people? Is their crime just being annoying to me?

Speaker 3 (31:52):
Nope, I'm gonna I want you to get ready for
Rain first twenty fifteen. Rain First. That's the story I
came here to tell you about today.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
Elizabeth, So I have all the background knowledge.

Speaker 3 (32:01):
Yeah, I wanted you to deeply understand that because this
is something I need to content.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
Oh you can't, I'm getting that.

Speaker 3 (32:05):
I want at least going there and making fun of
these people.

Speaker 4 (32:08):
I'm getting that you can't just be dropped into this
like you need that as well. Now you may not
go into it making fun of these.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
Yes, you can do whatever you want.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
That's much.

Speaker 3 (32:14):
Yeah, I mean, buckle up, Buttercup. So this is a
fan con for furries held in Washington State at a
Hilton Hotel out by the c Tech Airport. Okay, Elizabeth,
this event Rainforest. It turned into an absolute poop show.

Speaker 6 (32:27):
Now.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
It all went down like six months before I hit
up that Broni con in San Francisco. Oh okay, So
I didn't know that about Rainforest at the time, but
many of the Bronis kept mentioning this, So I kept
hearing about it, but I had not come up in
my research because I'm only looking into Bronie's.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
We were all scratch scratched, so exactly right.

Speaker 3 (32:43):
And they're all worried that this would make them look bad.
And I was like, what happened? So yeah, exactly, you're
ready to punch your ticket for rain First twenty fifteen.
We step inside the madness anyway. The event starts in
two thousand and eight, right the Rainforest first ones. It
gets attended by three hundred and seventy furs. The next year,
five hundred and ninety nine first show up. By twenty fifteen,

(33:04):
the attendance to climb to twenty seven hundred and four
firs not bad, right, They're doing good. Problem was that
many of those nearly three thousand people who came to
Rainforest in twenty fifteen, they'd also come for the special
vibe that was Rainforest. What is this special vibe? Great question, Elizabeth.
The convention was known in the furry community for being
the most lenient about convention protocols and regulations. The organizers

(33:28):
also very tolerant of extreme fetishes, the sort of fetishes
that are regularly banned at other furry conventions, and for
good reason. The reason was kids also attend these cons
Like this isn't just adult stuff. When you have furries.
Some of there are kids like under eighteen teens, some
of them are down to like tenth. Mostly it is

(33:49):
for the adults, so they need to have like adults
only versions or like you know, all ages cons. They
don't think about that, they just have a con right,
so you can't have kids running around, But while you
these half naked like slutty pandas and stripper foxes. Right,
that barely scratches the surfaces of what we're what these
attendees were doing at Rainforest. I'm just using. Oh yeah,

(34:10):
it got way stranger cleaned it and far more soiled
the thing was Elizabeth. Rainforest had a reputation for being
a place to party and cut loose like act a
little wild, let your animal side out. Pardon the pun
that laisse fair attitude would come to be the fan
conventions undoing.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (34:26):
The theme for Rainforest twenty fifteen was Swords and Sorcery.
The announcement was sent forth, Come thou writers, artists, fur suitors, gamers, musicians,
puppeteers and furries, all lady art here with invited to
this special time, to a place filled with the fruits
of kinship, mirthfulness, and joy. To a place which verily

(34:50):
glows with the charm which has truly filled each to
the marrow.

Speaker 8 (34:56):
Come and that the joy of life take hold of
the as we all do rejoice and are thriving culture together.
So you see that it's so full of itsilf.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
I'm so sorry, but I just can't right.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
So this witch is bruise fully bubbling right now, now,
all that was left to do was to take up
one's cup and drink deeply and merrily from the draft
of life, Elizabeth. So which, like, what does one do
at a furry convention? Leave great question, Elizabeth, You could say,
sign up for the rain First twenty fifteen First Suit
dance competition. Oh boy, keep in mind if you wish

(35:29):
to compete quote for this competition of first suit is
minimally defined as an animal costume with a full encompassing headpiece, hand, pause,
and tail. So you need gloves, tail and a head.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
And then the rest to the imagination.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
There was also this suggestion that quote also, please keep
your music selection friendly for all ages. A good rule
to follow is is if your music selection would be
suitable for FM radio airplay. So No two Life Crew
No two Left, Crump No. The dance competition featured judges
and they were to judge the competitors on criteria such
as originality, technical difficulty, execution, crowd involvement, and musicality technical difficulty.

(36:03):
The judges would be watching for fancy footwork and throwing
out dance moves no one else has seen before, challenging
moves to wow the audience that goes far right, These
are all what they're telling their people. No, let's say
you wanted you could also attend to talk a seminar.
There were many on offer. For instance, you could attend
Dogs and Cats living Together writing Erotic Furry Anatomy. Not
about how to write erotica for furries. No, not about

(36:26):
how to write for furries, but writing erotic furry anatomy. No,
it's an anatomy class anyway. It was described as and
I quote tales, claws and feathers. A discussion of how
these and other animalistic physical characteristics fit into an erotic
scene is something writers need work with.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
Elizabeth.

Speaker 3 (36:42):
We both know this, So yeah, you can sit in
on that talk. And you're so inclined now. When the
convention kicked off, it started under a rather dark and
ominous cloud. Rumors were swirling Elizabeth, to the point that
the festival organizer had to speak to all the dark talk.
As one festival director said at the convention's launch ceremony,
I'm absolutely sure there is no truth to the rumor
rain Forest is under an evil curse. And with that,

(37:07):
it's my pleasure to officially declare rain Forest twenty fifteen open.
So let's take a little break. Now that we've opened
Rainforest and wake it back. I'm gonna make you, I'm
gonna push you inside.

Speaker 6 (37:21):
No, oh, Elizabeth, rain Forest is open this.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
Remember I told you about the dance talent competition. Remember
the judges were looking.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
For everything golden doodles.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Well they did what they tell us. I told you
what they didn't want to hear, what they didn't want
to see. Well, one contestant, while singing a Lincoln Park track,
accidentally flashed a bare crotch show out of the crowd.

Speaker 2 (38:00):
Accidents, and there's like, yeah, there's is.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
Like video of it, and it was like it's like oop.
That was the first day, right, So first night of
the three day, two night convention. The Furries have now arrived.
They check into the Hilton Hotel. They get settled in
their rooms, they put on their first suits, They adopt
their first sonas they go downstairs, they attend the opening ceremony,
The dance talent competition happens, They get flashed, They meet
up with their friends on the convention grounds, and then

(38:23):
as the evening progresses, some of the Furries start to drink.
Some drink cheap beer, some drink malt liquor in those
little canned cocktails. Meanwhile, in the hotel rooms, other furries
are rolling up some smoke and getting high on jazz
cabbage cigarettes. Elizabeth, They're just like some of the furries
are pulling out the whippets. They started toughing nitrous oxide balloons.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
Oh good, I'm.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
Talking boxes and boxes of whippets. I saw videos and
there's like it was full industrial size containers, like two
thousand whippets.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
Right, so soon enough like lost brain cells. Oh yeah,
there's yougres, the crime dog was there.

Speaker 3 (38:54):
I'm most from what you told me, I'm thinking, yeah,
this is maybe.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Everyone just walks around all I'm unique. I'm quirky'nique, I'm quirky,
and you're like, all right, dude, I'm quirkyd Could you
imagine having to work at the hotel?

Speaker 3 (39:09):
Oh yeah, they start to get loose, right. You got
to imagine these are animals like imagine college mascot sized
animal routfits, only more cartoonish and more sexy. Now they're
pounding cheap beer. They're pulling out bottles of liquor like
full on, like fists of Southern comfort. They're sipping on
canned cocktails. They're getting sideways, they're getting.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
Twisted a cheap booze. It sounds like.

Speaker 3 (39:31):
Totally set up, like it's a proper buzz for like
a frat house party, only this group of mainly young
men are all dressed up wearing giant animal heads. So
soon just.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
Like sitting there drinking a kampari and soda and like,
I don't know if.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
They're like pulling their head back and drinking. They're like
screened face.

Speaker 4 (39:48):
They like there's someone with like a juicy bootied zebra
costume on, like with a you know, shmearing off ice
with a silly straw coming out of it.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
You know, you know this is how this happens.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
Sooner, if you got folks in first suits, passed out
hotel bath ups, they're collapsed in the hallways, they're leaned
up against their hotel room door. Some have urinated on themselves. Yeah,
they're waiting for someone to come back and let them
in the room or whatever. Now because they're all drunk
and high. Some are like like they're getting the spins,
but they're in an animal costume. They're like, yeah, it's bad, right,
they're vomiting through animal costumes. Now if you would turn

(40:25):
a corner and see someone just having puke leaking pad
of like they're like, I don't know, fox face masks,
those eyes really need to sit down for a moment, right,
So pivot some more time and now you got folks yacking,
right and then some as I said, now they're passing out. Now.
Then some are half in their first sona half out.
So you got like headless animals, like some just everywhere

(40:46):
you go. Right. Some disabled their smoke detectors in their
hotel rooms. They start smoking pots. Now they you got
to smoke leaking out into the hallway. So everything just
smells like pod and like malt liquor. Right, So, Elizabeth,
this scene is basically a multi story frat part in
an airport Hilton hotel.

Speaker 4 (41:03):
This one, if you didn't know it was going on,
and like your office bookshoot because you're going on some
sort of trip and.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
Yeah, you're just like there for like a get to
know you meet and greet with some like sleep in
the car, some tech company you're going over to meet Microsoft.
You have the Seattle Tech right, yeah, you know, and
then all of a sudden you walk in. You're in
a giant frat party. For like hell raising NFL mascots.
It looks like you're one of those old ESPN Sports
Center ads. You're just like the old funny ones.

Speaker 4 (41:31):
I would snap, I'd go through there with like a
truncheon and be just like meeecapping people, Like, all right,
that's enough.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
I almost don't want to do this next thing to you.
But have you ever heard of crinkling? I would have
been so surprised if you had heard of it so
like like I would have been, like, girl, you got
some splaining? How you know what cranklin?

Speaker 2 (41:50):
Is?

Speaker 3 (41:51):
You research so cranklin? You ever heard the sound of
diaper makes when a toddler is first learning to walk?

Speaker 2 (41:57):
You stop the word crinkling.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
It's in an AUTOMATOPEA right, it's that's the sound of
a baby's diaper. Essentially, listen, let me back that up.
If you if you ever heard of a baby.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
Fur, I'm afraid that you eard of a baby fur?

Speaker 3 (42:12):
A baby for Elizabeth, you ever heard of them? Probably?
Can you imagine what I've said about a fur? What
a baby fur?

Speaker 2 (42:19):
Is it one of those freakys who puts a diaper?

Speaker 3 (42:21):
A baby fur is a furry whose first sona is
a toddler or an infant or a very small child,
and some of them they were humans. They wear diapers
and you'd say that the diaper clad furries if you
were to see them walk past you, you'd say, oh,
they're crinkling right now. So imagine you're at a guest
at the Sea Tech Airport Hilton.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
The animal in their get up, they're just they're in there.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
They're in the bait, they're in the costume.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
There like a baby exactly.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
But they're wearing a diaper, huge diaper.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
No.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
So imagine you're a guest at the Sea Tax and
you're in the elevator with a man in a fur
suit on the top half, but he's porky pegging it
from the waist down. Except instead of a bare pink
bottom like porky, he's wearing a diaper. And it's an
enormous kids diaper. And how do you know it's a
kid's diaper because what's printed on the diaper, like that's
not like for an adult that's got like little flowers

(43:11):
and like animals on it, Like that's the kids. And
it's oh god, it's a soiled diaper. No, he's walking around.
This man's walking around a soiled diaper. At Rainfast twenty fifteen, Elizabeth,
there were a number of crinkling baby furs walking around
in diapers, and even the Rainforest attendees are like, bro,
what are you doing? I don't want to see all
of that. What I found a bunch of tweets, and

(43:32):
there's a tweet for of course. Some One attendee tweeted,
I don't like baby furs in general. I dislike smelling
baby furs in public. I've noticed too many at rainforst
twenty fifteen.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
So they walk around in their own fils.

Speaker 3 (43:44):
Yes, that's part of their thing.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
That's their first They probably just eat like baby food too.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
It's like, yeah, exactly, they got orange soft served down there.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
Now.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
Another attendee tweeted and quote, hey, at rainforest, most cons
have rules banning viaper first from marching around displaying that
literal take a hint hashtag rain first. Now Still there's
another attendee, he tweeted, and I quote kind of ruins
the convibe when an adult walks past with a dump
in their diaper in public. Please keep that literally in

(44:18):
the room.

Speaker 4 (44:19):
This is I would be a Rainforest vigilanty and I'm
just gonna get a ton.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
Of those big zip tie handcuffs. I'm gonna go around.
I'm going to give you a trunch into the back
of a knee zip tire, your hands behind your back.
Probably love this, and then just leave piles like that's enough. Stop,
that's enough. Everybody stop where you are.

Speaker 3 (44:41):
I just now, all of a sudden, you're their prison Mommy, No, okay,
then this is.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
All falling apart on me. I was seeing vengeance being mine,
but I think.

Speaker 4 (44:49):
The way it is opposite.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
So to give the crinklers their time on the witness
stand in this inadvertent trial of the court of public opinion, Elizabeth,
the crinklers a tempted to defend themselves, and I will
give them their time on the stage. One crinkler tweeted,
and I quote dear RF twenty fifteen, go and remember
that you are the black sheep to the rest of
the world before you start making fun of a guy

(45:13):
in a diaper. So that was that one, And I
mean fair point, but maybe not the tack I take
if I were the one wearing the diaper, But whatever.
There was a baby fur who tweeted and I quote
not cool with all the baby fur hate on my
timeline right now, what's happening to this fandom is not
just for you furry twitter.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
Like I get a job anyway that you got. There's
so much to do in this life, not fighting over ship.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
They wear diapers at am, I right to fight.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
I need my pants.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
I'm going to party my pants off with pooping them anyway.
That same first night, Elizabeth, chaos unfolds. We're only in
the first night still, as men were walking around tank
top shirts that declared in bright pink font I don't dogs. Wait,
these were all there. Yeah, these were There were younger
furries who were like trying to enjoy the same convention.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
So they're saying there were people who are.

Speaker 3 (46:01):
Essentially there's an implication. There's an implication there. So trouble
was primed and set. So then the toilet started to explode.

Speaker 4 (46:08):
Yes, Elizabeth, something I would be telling you about all
the poopy stories.

Speaker 3 (46:14):
Some furry had some hand tools on them and they
loosened a bolt in the men's room. Right, That was
the set up a prank, right, And the idea was
that the next time someone used the toilet, when they
flushed the pressure would rupture the connection for the pipe
providing water to the toilet. It worked, Elizabeth, that's great.

Speaker 4 (46:28):
That's a great prank. So that everyone who works in
maintenance now has to take care of all that.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
Oh my god, better than that.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
I just need to scold all of them.

Speaker 3 (46:36):
So the guy who had this happened, he sent an
email and I quote, I was the big guy on
the toilet. I was in the handicap stall, tended to business.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
They did it in a handicap stall, uh huh.

Speaker 3 (46:47):
And when I flushed, the toilet exploded. I was told
via email from the con chair later that it had
been confirmed sabotage to the toilet. So basically, as soon
as it was flushed, it wet, explodes, and the toilet
floods the bathroom floor too, and a half inches of
water splashing out of the bathroom. Dude. He also emailed
and I quote, I don't remember much except all of
a sudden it was raining toilet water in the bathroom.

(47:08):
I know it wasn't just me, as in the matter
of a few seconds, I went from sitting on the
toilet flushing to about two to three feet from the toilets.
He gets blown off the toilet right standing, having to
balance myself against the wall. I was quickly soaked. I
managed to pull my clothes back on and stumbled out
of the bathroom. People thought I was having a heart
attack until I pointed out the water. I had to
sit soaked in toilet water for five hours until a

(47:31):
room was ready for me and I could get a shower.
It was not fun. It was sabotage.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
Was he like a furry there?

Speaker 3 (47:38):
Yeah? He was like, yeah, he's dressed as like a
furry too, can.

Speaker 4 (47:42):
Elizabeth whoever pulled that prank was not raised in a
drought to No, there's.

Speaker 3 (47:49):
Your California show right now. Anyway, this emergency plumber gets
caught in and this is just the beginning of the destruction.
Because I also forgot to tell you, water from the
exploited toilet in the bathroom leak through the floor. That's
how much there was. It drained down into a lower floor,
which was a basement room where the hotel's servers were located.
They started roofing the hotel, and then Elizabeth, there was

(48:10):
the rumors of the glory hole, like a legit fully
functioning glory hole. Someone drilled a hole into one of
the partitions of the bathroom stalls in the men's room,
I could find no photographic evidence. Meanwhile, on Instagram, I
would not do that to you all. Meanwhile, on Saturday
there was the anti pool party. So yes, we're now

(48:30):
today the first.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Full day anti poo pool party.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
Yes, no, that's my name for it. The pool section
of the hotel. Some of the furries stripped down. They
went for a swim, right, I assume maybe they went
there in their heads. I don't know. Some hopped in
the hot tub, or maybe they didn't. They just sort
of washed off their fur I don't know what they did,
but anyway, and also don't know what they're into. But
I do know is when they were done, they threw
all the pool towels into the hot tub. But they
didn't just toss them in. They rolled the towels up

(48:55):
tightly into cylinders and shoved them into the pool pump,
clogging it, eventually breaking it. Another plumber has to be
called out to repair it. Thousands of dollars of damage.
But that wasn't the worst thing to go down.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
They just huff gases oxide.

Speaker 3 (49:10):
I hate them all, and they drinking the cheap beer
and the malt liquor cocktails. I'm telling you, just run wild.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
You're children.

Speaker 4 (49:16):
It's adult body it destroying things and making life miserable
for working worse.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
Than Boston sports fans. I'm just playing. We're everybody I
want to get. I got a list over him.

Speaker 4 (49:30):
You know, I know that the Furries are really not
loving me right now, and I just don't care.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
Don't because I feel like I have more people on my.

Speaker 3 (49:37):
You're fearless, maybe they'll respect that I am. You're a fleshy,
that's what you are.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Bring it so out, mommy.

Speaker 3 (49:44):
So the worst thing to go down to the pool,
Elizabeth was apparently one of the Furries decided to drop
their drawers and squeeze out a floater, true Caddyshack style.
But they yet the real deal. That's right, they pulled.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
This is such a good mood, baby.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
Ruth Candy bar in the pool track.

Speaker 4 (49:59):
I was.

Speaker 3 (50:00):
It wasn't a baby stop it it was a fresh pool.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
This is such a good mood.

Speaker 4 (50:05):
I am so mad right now over something that happened
ten years ago.

Speaker 3 (50:10):
Back inside the hotel, in the hallways on nearly every floor,
it seems like you have pot smoke licking out from
under the doors, which is making the hotel smell like
the streets of San Francisco. And then even though the
Furries that they've disabled the smoke detectors in their rooms,
still some of them don't do it well. Fire alarms
get triggered. Now the fire department gets called out to
this Hilton hotel. Also still on the same Saturday, a
few of the furries said to themselves, Okay, we're at

(50:31):
an airport Hilton in Seattle, well actually Tacoma. So we're
wearing adult sized, sexy animal costumes and we came here
to party. We should probably do a ton of psychedelic
drugs and see which one of us freaks out first.
So they did exactly that, Elizabeth, and eventually an ambulance
was called out. Can you guess why? No? Instead because
of I'm gonna I'm not gonna tell you the answer, Elizabeth.

(50:51):
It said, i'd like you to close your eyes. I'd
like you I took picture.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
Cropped my eyes open with toothpicks, and I refuse.

Speaker 3 (51:00):
Well, I'm just gonna flash pictures at your eyes. Then
it's a Saturday morning in twenty fifteen, and you, Elizabeth,
are working at the Seattle, Tacoma Airport, Hilton Hotel. You
are a concierge shrew Hilton Hotels, and you weren't at
work yesterday, which means you missed day one of the
rainforest chaos. But you're catching up on all that went
down while you enjoyed your day off. It sounds absolutely wild,

(51:22):
and now you're about to get your own first taste
of it. The phone rings. One of the associates at
the front desk answers that you're standing not too far away.
You can't hear the call, but you see their face
knit into a mask of consternation. They put the call
on hold and then ask you to take the guest's request.
You take the call. As soon as you press the button,
you hear the voice of a young man, and he

(51:43):
sounds somewhat out of it. At the other end of
the phone is a living comic book. It's a smoky
jazz club. A tall anthropomorphic redtail fox is dancing slowly
seductively by itself to Chet Baker jazz music, while the
black and white Buddha bellied panda one who's a bit
sullen at the moment, sits alone at a table drinking
from a bottle of cough syrup. The sullen panda is

(52:05):
also on the phone. There's a table phone from like
an old nightclub. The panda says into the phone, am
I always gonna feel this like this way? The panda
waves his hand in front of his face, and his thick,
furry fingers trace arcs of motion that leave trails like
a cartoon of a super fast character running. But it's
scaring the Buddha bellied panda. I'm moving so fast. I
see speed trail, but I'm sitting still. How am I

(52:29):
going so fast without moving? Tell me, sir, is everything okay?
You ask the panda from the other end of the phone.
The red tailed fox stops gyrating its hips seductively to
a rhythm. Only the fox hears while the panda is
on the phone, and the fox turns quickly accuseatorally, and
the night club disappears. The alluring fox sees the panda
in the full light of hotel lighting, sitting on the

(52:51):
hotel bed talking on the phone. Who are you talking to?
The fox asks. The panda looks at the fox. The
alluring fox stares back at the panda. And you listening
on the other end. Here the silence begin and grow wide.
So you ask, are you still there?

Speaker 7 (53:05):
Sir?

Speaker 3 (53:06):
I need to call nine one one for me. I
think I'm going way too fast. Tell them to bring
anti speed pills. Is everything okay? Are you in speed?

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Sir?

Speaker 3 (53:12):
You asked? No, The panda says, and then laughs, No,
we were eiding mushrooms. But there are too good too, wow,
way too much wow. So now I'm moving two superspanded
speed pandas don't move this fast? Do you need me
to send someone up to your room? Start? You're in
room seven of six. I see call nine one one.
Tell them there's a pana going too fast that's supposed

(53:33):
to fast. The call ends you indeed call nine one one,
But as for an ambulance, not the police, you're a
kind person. A half hour later, you watch as a
seductive redtail fox and a black and white panda are
both wheeled out on stretchers. The two furries are still
fully twisted with a headful of mushrooms. Your coworker leans
over and says, it's only ten am. Buckle up, it's
gonna be a long day.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
No, I answered that phone. I say I'm not the one,
and then I fully participate with the police.

Speaker 4 (54:00):
State, and I get that whole joint rated, and then
I quit Elizabeth.

Speaker 3 (54:05):
Another ambulance was called out to the Airport Hilton Hotel
when two dudes, two furries, also went a little too
hard in the fur but these two were they drank
their furry faces off and needed medical attention. So not
only were there two emergency plumbers, there were two ambulances
the fire department, and eventually, of course expectedly, the police
came out to the Airport Hilton Hotel. Cops were called

(54:25):
after one of the convention staff members was accused of
assault of a furry in a costume.

Speaker 2 (54:30):
Then the cops were called the accused, the hotel staff.

Speaker 3 (54:33):
The convention staff, so one of the festival organizers apparently
like maybe it was a I don't know exactly, I
always knows convention staff member was accused of of assault
of a furry in a costume.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
That's yes, that fully support that.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
Then the cops were called back out to the c
Tech Airport Hilton after one furry got into it with
another furry and that cat was busted on charges of
regular old assault because the first one was questionable about
what the nature of the assault was sure, yes, so
he was arrested and it gets escorted away since they
are already there. The cops also arrested two more of
the Rainforest attendees in the hotel parking lot.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
Why.

Speaker 3 (55:06):
One was busted for drug possession, the other was busted
for drug sales. They got caught midbust. It's like a
perfect bust by the cops.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Right.

Speaker 3 (55:15):
Yeah. So back inside the hotel and on the surrounding grounds,
there are furries now getting into food fights. Mostly it's pizza,
breadsticks and as you can have delivered to a hotel,
as my man step and A would say, things of
that nature. There are other suthers now throwing diapers around
because I remember, we've got a lot of diapers. Some
of them are used, some are new. Some of the
used diapers get left on the hoods of attendees cars

(55:36):
in the parking lot to get sun baked. Yes, oh
my god. On Sunday, with a day left to go,
Hilton Hotel tells the convention goers they need to get gone.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
So at that point the SeaTac airport Hilton Hotel staff
is sick of the furries droppings. The staff is angry irritated,
others are broken, demoralized. The Hilton threatens to eighty six
the worst offenders. Right, the SeaTac Airport Hilton tabulates the
damage done and they inform the Rain First organizers that
if you tabulated all of the damage done by all
the other conventions held that year at the hotel, the

(56:07):
sum would be less than the amount of damage done
by Rain First twenty fifteen. The amount was about one
hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (56:13):
That's insane.

Speaker 3 (56:14):
So yeah, so the Sea Tac Airport Hilton's they send
a letter to inform them that their contract for any
future events is officially terminated. But they paid for it.
They had one hundred and fifty on their bank ledgers,
so they were able to pay for the damage done. Right,
But then comes time for Rain First twenty sixteen. Convention
organizers they go and they approach other hotels in the
Seattle Tacoma area. They went to one, they get turned down.

(56:37):
They go to another, they get turned down. They go
to a third, and they pointed out how much money
their convention would bring in for the hotel, and they
get turned down. Every hotel they approach said now, but
more like no effing way can you ever hold your
Furrey convention here? So they look to other towns, like
nearby Bellingham. It's a town north of Seattle, a little

(56:57):
bit in a little east end. So same result. No, nope, nope, nope,
no hotel wants them, right, So eventually they had to
ask a hotel in Spokane, Washington, and the hotel agreed
to host the rainforest. Now they're in way across this
day in eastern desert is Washington, right, nobody's gone out
to Spokane for any reason. But they're like, we'll have
the no no for the rainforest, and no one's going

(57:18):
to a rainforest. But they're like, we'll just move our rainforest.
They're trying to play on the whole settle the Pacific Northwest.
Now they're in the desert of like the high Mountain desert, right,
They're like, well, still rainforest, it's still happening. People ignored
the desert. But anyway, short time later, hotel informs the
convention organizers you're no longer welcome. They're like, wait, what
turns out there was a disgruntled insider, Elizabeth, with a

(57:39):
pen shant for drama, and they started a secret letter
writing campaign, and they were sending letters to every hotel
in the Seattle area and then later apparently spoken and
informed them that they were signing up for if they
hosted a rainforest event. So the main event organized with
this man known as Trapa. He was he identifies as
an African civet cat. He's a yeah. So he spoke

(57:59):
to the controversy at a separate furry event held in
Vancouver in twenty sixteen. In Trappa the African Civic Cat,
he gave updates on the Rainforest twenty fifteen. Now, he
wasn't wearing a fur suit at the time. He's just
sitting on stage and likes jeans and his shirt and
he's like, we couldn't find anything in the local area.
It seems strange and almost as if they were being
talked to. And then he accused someone because he had
proof of sabotage. Trap of the African Civic Cat said

(58:21):
that only one person could have possibly known the details
or in the letters sent to the hotels, and he
added that in my heart of hearts, I know who
it is. Means motivation and opportunity abound, and it pisses
me off. Yeah. Well, so the weirdest part is that
trap of the festival director. He implies that the letter
writer was also the person who'd been seen putting used
diapers on people's car in the parking lot. So I

(58:43):
guess after their initial diaper based protest failed, they moved
on to a more traditional method of letter writing to
smear people's good jobs. It worked, word got out twenty sixteen.
No hotel, no motel, no holiday inn, no country fairground,
no convention hall, no bar mits for rental hall, no
space of any I would host the Furries. The hammer
fellow is but the gong was struck. The death neel sounded.

(59:04):
Whatever you prefer. Rain First twenty fifteen was the end
of the road for the Pacific Northwest Furries Convention. The
convention was canceled for good forever. Good Wait, what's that record? Scratch?
What's there's news? Trappa? The African Civic Cat is plucky.
Band of fellow furry conventioneers have got the back on
the ball. They got to work like a kitten batting
around a ball a yarn And then look at that

(59:26):
a little while later they announced they're bringing back Rain
First twenty seventeen. Parties back on Elizabeth, grab your head
past attendees. They're stoked, like, make you grab my tail,
my hands, I'm on it. Some of them were mainly
possibly pretty excited. Some of them were not so excited anyway,
Some were skeptical. Whatever, the whole point was. Bad news
came down from on high in furry Land in February

(59:48):
twenty seventeen. Last minute, the Rainforest Board of Directors and
convention staff said, that's it. It's a rap, folks. Never mind,
it's done.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
We're over.

Speaker 3 (59:54):
We can't even get together. That was it they got.
They climbed themselves right out of business. I want the
ridiculous take away here, Elizabeth.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
I'm no fun and I like it that way.

Speaker 3 (01:00:05):
Yeah, that would be a good judge.

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
I just I have zero tolerance for this.

Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
You don't like people who think they're precious, unique and special,
like wear wings. I've noticed that if they're at Coachella,
if they're at a convention, if they're wearing wings, you're
probably a ren fair and you're probably not gonna like
the person. Not Halloween, No, but it's the person who
feels that they are so precious about it, not the
person wearing wings. I don't think you're against wings. You're

(01:00:30):
against the person who's like, look at me, I'm about
to fly and you're like, okay, queen butterfly or whatever.
There you go. That's that's that's it. That's the face.
Well my ridiculous take away, thanks for asking, Elizabeth is
I still want a furry tale, but I don't want
people to think I'm a furry. I just want a tail.
So what do I do about that?

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
Kind of like how they attach those tails to themselves
is a little bit like, Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:00:53):
I thought it was like a belt. I never got
into that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
I think it is.

Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
I never once cure was curious about how the belt was, how.

Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
The Maybe there are some of it his belts, but
I know some.

Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
Might have plugs. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
Wow, I'm learning a lot strategies.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
Well, I still want to tell anyway, I'm kidding prettyzy day.
Can you clear the air with the talk back?

Speaker 9 (01:01:19):
God I in Wisconsin, thank you so much for bringing
all this ridiculous news to us. I still chuckle about
Zaron walking off the top of a roof because he
thought there was a snake there. I'm glad you didn't

(01:01:41):
get hurt, by the way, and I appreciate all the
research that your staff does. What a great piece of
information to keep me company when I can't sleep.

Speaker 3 (01:01:54):
We're glad to.

Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
I too can't sleep, so I relate. That's awesome. I'm
glad you can help.

Speaker 3 (01:01:59):
Glad you're in amused by my skywalking. Well, there you go.
It's all I got for you. As always, you can
find us online a Ridiculous Crime on Twitter, and on
Instagram and so forth and so on the socials and
the medias. We have our website, ridiculous Crime dot com.
Please go do hit it up. We love that, we're
proud of it. We think you might enjoy it. And
also we love your talkback, So go to the iHeart app,
download it, leave a talkback. You may hear your own

(01:02:20):
voice out here. Email us. Also if you like a
Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com. As always, begin Dear Elizabeth. Okay,
that's honestly all I got for you, So we'll catch
you next crime. Thanks for listening. Ridiculous Crime is hosted
by Elizabeth Dutton and Zarin Burnette, produced and edited by

(01:02:41):
first suit Maker to the Stars mister Dave Kusten. Research
is by teenage mutant Ninja researchers Marissa Brown and Andrea
song Sharpen Tear. Our theme song is by Thomas Uncle
fur Lee and Travis Papa fur Dot You. The host
wardrobe provided by Botany five hundred. Guest hair and makeup

(01:03:01):
by Sparkleshot and mister Andre. Executive producers are Ben. If
you identify as an alien, are you a fleshy Bowlin
and Noel? That's absolutely ridiculous. You'd be a no furry.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
Brown Ridicus Crime. Say it one more times Crime.

Speaker 1 (01:03:25):
Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio. Four more podcasts
from my heart Radio visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.