The Coke Boat

You’re young, you’re hawt, you’re used to getting paid for it as an Instagram influencer – so why not turn pro and get paid for it overseas? But suddenly you’re now an international cocaine smuggler… how did this happen?! (🎵 Life on the Coke  Boat, surely make you lose your mind 🎶)

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous Crime is a production of I Heart Radio, Do
Do Do Do Elizabeth Dutton and Sarah and Burnett. Oh,
I was hoping I could run into you. Do you
know what's ridiculous? I do? Oh well, then you say
your part. Nascar romance novels what Nascar in the early
two thousand's got together with Harlequin, the romance novel publisher,

(00:24):
and they did Nascar romance novels. Were they featuring NASCAR
drivers to Man in his Car? No, they were, Um,
it was like surrounding. Yeah, Nascar drivers would be one
would be the love interest in like some like pit
crew boss, who was like I just gotta be with him. Yeah. Yeah.
So there's one book called speed Dating and it's the

(00:47):
story of an actuary and who falls in love with
a fictional NASCAR driver, a fictional one. They didn't like you,
trick trickle. Um. There's no sex, drug for alcohol or
car crashes in the books. Okay, what is really emotional kissing? Instead? Yeah,

(01:09):
they were just smooching, really like strong smooches. Um. And
so a lot of knees getting weak, yeah, tons of them.
It's just it's there's a whole bunch of them Nascar.
I kissed him in my leg, just went up in
the back, you know, like that little Yeah, that's it.
So I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna start writing Nascar.

(01:32):
I'm gonna pick up where they left off Christmas all that.
You know what I want? I want what was the
Jose consco one? Oh? The air Force Gator? Yes, okay,
So we're going to build a ridiculous crime library that
has air Force, Gator, the air Force, all of the
NASCAR romance novels. One's called Dangerous Curves and there's another

(01:56):
one called Total Control. Yeah. I love all these cheesy titles.
So good, Slippery when wet is that one in there?
Probably probably Dangerous Curves ahead. So that's that. That's that's ridiculous.
That's good. Uh, if you have a moment, I got
one for you. Yeah, excellent. Okay, Well, how about the

(02:18):
story of somebody I know you love to Instagram influencers
who go on and around the world cruise and it's
so exciting and new and they document all of this
on their social media. But it turns out that the
pair actually a cover for international cocaine smuggling operation. Let's

(02:38):
call it the coke Boat. Yeah, soon we'll be taking
another run. The coke boat promises something for everyone. Okay, yeah,

(03:15):
this is ridiculous Crime a podcast about absurd and outrageous capers.
Heis and cons It's oh, murder free and ridiculous. Elizabeth Done,
Sarah Burnett. I have a confession to make. I've never
been on a cruise ship. I have no idea what
they're like. Zero. I watched the Love Boat that to
me is a cruise ship in Disney commercials, you know, likevirus.

(03:39):
So to me, they kind of look ridiculous. Of the ships,
I mean, not the cruises like you see them out
in San Francisco at the docks. Yeah, it looks like
somebody kicked over one of the skyscrapers. It fell into
the water. They're like, I don't know, let's make a
boat out of this. But I have, you know, all
my nonsense aside, Elizabeth, you've been on a cruise I
have twice. Okay, So what was it like, just to
let me know, I have no idea. It's a it's

(04:00):
an interesting experience. It's like it is like being in
a giant hotel on its side. Everyone falls over. Uh,
it's un like, what do you do all day? Is
it fun? Do you walk around you see people? Do
you make friends? Like you like, do you see people
and go, hey, what should go bowling at the You
can you can make friends, or you can hang out
with your family or like, you know, they have like

(04:22):
trivia games. My family did the trivia thing and like
went to every single one and got really like aggressively
racking up prices. Then you tell you not to comment
or come on, everyone else a chance, and then they
have you know, people go there. A lot of people
are there just to eat at the buffet, the buffet lines.

(04:42):
I read a lot about this in the story. Yeah,
and then um, you can walk around on the deck
and like look out at the water. And then they
have stops. I mean they stopped places about that. But
I'm saying when you're on the boat, that's the part
I don't I don't know. You sleep and you read,
and you also produced you are somebody who's doing a
cruise ships too correct, That is correct? What what did
you do? The best thing is I mean truly the

(05:04):
rocket of the boat, like it just puts you to sleep.
It's just if it's the most soothing thing and then
cruises really are like um, like floating hotels that have
all the amenities you can possibly think of. Like the
ships that've been on have um movie theaters. They have
like Broadway style stuff, which I don't really like, but
but like people get into it. And and if you're sick,

(05:27):
like you can watch it from your room that it's
closed circuit record broadcast. I had no idea they're running tracks.
They're like, you know, uh, really nice restaurants at some
crappy restaurants, but also really nice restaurants, so it's not
just cruise ship magicians anymore. No. And they have like
kids clubs so the kids can all hang out then
that way, you know, they have they make friends parents.

(05:49):
It's very Vegas like, yeah, all right, okay, Now, either
one of you imagine when you were on these cruises
that along with you were some cocaine smugglers. I would
be surprised if there weren't. Well, it's time to meet
through heroes of this ridiculous crime. I'd like to introduce
you to Melina R. Four. She's the primary focus of

(06:10):
our cocaine smuggling plot. She would later be joined by
her future co defendant Isabelle Lagasse, who was a thirty
year old at the time. Now they had this. It
all started out. This whole like coke Bote scenario happened
when Malina's friend whom she only ever refers to a
sugar Daddy, So I will have to be referring to
him as sugar Daddy, so forgive me for that. But Sugar,

(06:32):
that's his name, first name Sugar, last name Daddy, last
name Mr. Daddy. So Sugar was kind enough to offer
to sponsor her for a luxury cruise around the world.
Sponsor her exactly. Now what could she say? I mean,
who says no to a free world cruise? I mean, now,
of course, mix into this little heady cocktail of a question,
would you or would you not? It's also your job

(06:53):
to post photos on social media? So how could you
possibly resist this offer? I mean, this is pretty much
catnip right, it's a can holiday and there's also one
the other little codessile. Nothing in life is free, so
you have to ask yourself what will be the price
of this if I'm being offered it for free? So
this is this whole story. When I was reading it,
it kept reminding me of the old ads what would

(07:14):
you do for a klondike bar? Right? And like I
used to laugh at people, and I still laugh at people,
and I think they have been doing those ads again,
and like I actually and they have a fool who
sit there and watching and go home. I wonder what
I would do, and I imagine what I would do.
There is nothing that I would do for these likes
that these people are doing all of this for. They're
willing to ruin their lives for likes. And you will
see what I mean. In one sense, you don't want

(07:36):
to get sponsored to like fly out a medie with
a bunch of balloons of coke and your tone tongue, yes,
exactly telling my best impression of a coke Doncory. So
Melina Robert. She grew up the small town of Granby,
which is a case you don't know the Montreal excerpts.
It's a little village outside of Montreal, and it's a

(07:59):
little bit bigger than village. I would say it's a
town about sixty people. Oh okay, that's a small town.
The town of group and was about fifty two people.
And I thought of it as a town city. I
wouldn't think of it as a city, bustling metropolis. It's
a you know, a Canadian small city. So after she
leaves Granby, she heads up to you know, grab her

(08:19):
piece of life in the big city of Montreal, as
do a lot of people from Granby. She's a high
school grad at this point living in the big city,
and she gets a job at a jewelry store. Her
customers are mostly local, wealthy, rich travelers, tourists, and of
course international criminals. Molina. She takes to this life, the
fast life of Montreal. She loves it. She loves the pulse,

(08:41):
the beat of the city, the art, restaurants, the clubs,
everything is for her. She's like, I've waited all my
life for this. She has a sponge from Montreal. So
soon enough she becomes the next thing that happens in
this phase of evolution for this country girl, gone city.
She becomes a scene store in the clubs. She becomes
a club girl right for her now she as she

(09:02):
gets known in the club scene, everyone around her and
just like her, they're all documenting their lives on social media.
So she starts to become a social media influencer, or
at least a hopeful influencer. Right now, she'd been in
Montreal about two years when she meets the man who
had changed her life, who we previously referred to as
Sugar Daddy. Sugar so sugar Daddy. He's an older cat,
as you might have guest, and he was also another

(09:26):
thing you might have guessed, mysterious. Yes, he had money,
and he said he had a business online and she
was like, oh, that's cute. I do business on businessman.
So he's he've done well in life, right, at least
money wise, and he liked to spend his fortune. He
was very will stay generous with it. Turns out he's
more manipulative with her, but he would spend freely around her.

(09:48):
She got to enjoy the fine things that he enjoyed.
This life, his way of life becomes intoxicating for Molina.
She's like, oh, sugar Daddy, I love this. Right. So Molina,
now twenty years old, smitten on a life, doesn't understand
or get how it's being paid for. And she's now
knee deep into what of a criminal adventure that she
doesn't see around her. Okay, right right now, Molina and

(10:10):
her her older friend will call him Sugar Daddy, her sponsor,
her sponsor, she finds out about his mysterious secret. One day,
she discovers the source of his fortune. Can you guess
what it was? Online business that he ran was an
escort service. He was a pimp, and not like the
fun kind like Snoop Dogg in a music video. He

(10:31):
was a pimp, like a eurotrash pimp, like open shirt,
gold chains, like a pimp in Montreal. So he would
take advantage of young women like Molina. He would enthrall
them with his life that they couldn't possibly lead. He
get them so far into it that they considered it
kind of like now their life. And then you go, hey,
I got a little favorite, asked, just a small favor.

(10:52):
Would you be willing to have sex with one of
my rich friends? He likes you? And what are you saying? Right?
And so Molina, once she'd walked through that door, she
becomes a sex worker. And she doesn't really realize it
at first, but then she's like, well, I don't hate
my new life. This isn't bad. She's down to being
a sex worker. And I'm not shamming sex workers? You know,
do you boo? I don't care, But like when you

(11:12):
hear me being a bit judgmental about this. All of
that goes on to sugar Daddy. So sugar Daddy, he's
the one exploiting the susceptible and the gullible, right, and
I don't cotto that personally, So sugar Daddy is the
bad one, right. So he's also arranging sex work for her.
It starts out his favors, it becomes more formal, and

(11:33):
then he's like her pimp, right with engraved invitations. They
have like contracts and stuff like. So she and her
eurotrash pimp. They move on to what comes next, which
is they go to where rich people congregate. So she
starts working Monaco, all right, So sugar Daddy's introducing her
to the ultra rich and lascivious. And meanwhile Molina is
getting paid well, sometimes it's extravagant gifts. Other times it's

(11:56):
that she did a favor for sugar Daddy and he's like, yeah,
don't worry, I'll take care you on the back end,
right anyway, But he's also probably like room and board
all the yeah, like all the whole like how who
bought your plane ticket? Baby? You know, like I don't
know your electric So by May, she's now moved on
to working in Morocco as an escort because apparently there's like,

(12:18):
you know, action there and uh this Morocco trips she
goes on in super lucrative. She ends up banking fifteen
grand from that trip. Things are going well for us.
She's pretty good being an escort, right, and she likes
living amongst the wealthy. She enjoys trading pleasure for pay
all right. So then comes a faithful offer that will

(12:40):
change her life, the one that she kind of just
wanders into. Molina's sugar Daddy, her friend. He says, I've
got some friends, and my friends they have big plans,
and she's like, oh, what are your friends big plans?
He's like, look, I'd like you to come with me
and travel around the world. And she's like, oh, well,
who would have to sleep with to pay for that?
She's like, and she's surprised when they answer is like,

(13:00):
no one. You don't sleep with anyone. She's like, how
would I don't get it? What would my job be? Right?
And he's like, sugar daddies friends they just want company.
They just like to have pretty girls around. He's She's
like okay, So now without realizing it, She's about to
graduate from escort to cocaine smuggling, right, So Molina was
graduation ceremony. You moved the tassel from one side and

(13:22):
then you look at and so she's now happier with
their life. Was an escort, not too keen on becoming
a cocaine smuggler. So when sugar Daddy's like, hey, you
want to take a ride in the coke boat, She's like, no,
I'd rather not. I just like to do the Monico
thing in Morocco. That's cool. A few weeks past, Sugar
Daddies come back to her and he's like, hey, remember
that thing I asked you about with the coke boat.
What do you say would you would you be into that?

(13:43):
She's like no, I just like to concentrate on my
Instagram influencing and just doing escorting. And that's fine. I mean,
like all that's good. So we can maybe just keep
this going. And he's like oh yeah, yeah, shures right.
More time passes again, Sugar Daddy comes back. He's in
a bind. He's like, look, I need to help baby.
You gotta hook me up. Like, well, what what's the problem?
What can I do? He's like this girl I had
she was gonna do the trip. I got her in

(14:05):
your place, but she she backed out last minute. You
gotta do this for me. It'll be it's a twenty
two dollar trip. You'll have an amazing time. It's seven weeks,
you go all around the world. She's like, I don't know.
He's like, i'll give you six grand spending money. Come on,
let's do this. She's like, she's like considered an early
birthday present. She's like an early birthday present, and she's like,
I need you to do this. She feel like it's

(14:25):
not really at this point, he's not asking no, she
doesn't get that right, so but she still wants to know.
She's like, well, I had to actively like transport the
cocaine and smuggle it, or can I just like be
pretty into distraction? And he's like okay, I'll just what
do you think You're gonna have to actively smuggle the cocaine.
She's like, okay, well I'm not into that. She's like,
just chill, baby, They'll be like one or two kilos

(14:46):
at most, and she's like okay. So she eventually, when
she starts imagining all the likes flowing in, she's like
I'll do it, and so her fate is sealed. Now,
after this little quick break, I'll tell you about is
about Lagas, and we'll get you on that coke boat,

(15:22):
all right. Elizabeth Isabel Lagasse. Yes, the thirty year old.
Now she has seen more of the world than young Molina.
Now Isabel, she had seen the good, the bad, and
the ugly of the world. And by age thirty, she
was like Pride on the coke boat. No, actually that's
not that's not actually how she was. She was a
waitress and she was working on Montreal's South Shore, which

(15:43):
I doubt you know this because I didn't know it,
had to look it up. That's where like the commuters
live who go into Montreal. So it's like she works
in the suburbs, right, and now she dreams of starting
a new life. She's at this point, she was a
twenty eight years old and she started dreaming of her
new life. And she gets into problems due to her
previous bad decisions. She owed twenty dollars to some bad

(16:04):
men and she was working as a waitress, which would
not pay for that anytime soon. She's like, what can
I do? I need to make a move, I need
to make a big move. Right. Lucky for her, a
big move comes her way. She gets an offer, unfortunately
was from the same bad men who she owed the
grand time. They count her and they go, hey, we
gotta wait for you to pay off that loan. She's like, oh, yeah,
you're gonna take all around the cruise. She's like, I'm

(16:25):
gonna do what. You're going to take an all around cruise?
And she's like, I don't really want to do that,
and you're like, all around I'm sorry, all around the world.
Creuse Okay. So she's like, I don't really want to
do that, and you're like, yeah, this isn't a question.
So here's what you're gonna do. You're going to do
this and then if you do it, we won't hurt
your family. She's like, Okay, this is definitely not a choice,
so I will do this. So she agrees to take

(16:45):
her trip on the coke boat and around the World
cruise under direst exactly forced into it. Otherwise your family
is going to get luxury around the so is about
the Gas and Molina have both agreed under her ask
to go on the around the world luxury coke boat tour.

(17:06):
So Molina Isabelle. They know each other. They were both
like on the scene, like they're familiar with each other.
They're not like super tight, they're not friendly, but they
know each other. So it's not like an impossible thing
for them to be thrown together and go, here's your cabin,
spend the next seven weeks together. They're like, oh, I
kind of know her. She's all right, Yeah, I know her.
She's cool. So they're you know, fine with the idea.

(17:26):
When they're told like, yeah, this will be your partner
for this criminal enterprise, you're like, okay. Now. The thing
about crime, and I don't think a lot of people
always recognize this is for a lot of people, they
don't really realize that they've become a criminal. Like there's
really porous borders to crime, and it's not like a
fixed thing. It's like there's no job at review. You
don't come in and go, okay, you get the job.
You start criming on Monday. You know, it's like to

(17:47):
put it in your title. Yeah exactly. It's more like
all of a sudden, you do a thing and you
look back and you're like, oh, oh, look at that,
I'm a criminal now, right, And so that was kind
of what happened to Molina and Isabelle. They wandered into
the waters and all of a sudden they were way
steep in crime. Yeah, So the influencer and the waitress,
they are flown from Montreal over to England where they
were board this around the World coke boat. Right. They

(18:11):
arrived in the British sports city of Southampton and they
this is where the ship will launch from. And it's
going to go from the UK over to Ireland and
then we'll go from Ireland across the Atlantic to Canada
and then down to the US to New York, to Bermuda,
onto Colombia and then to Ecuador, Peru. Then it goes
on to Chule, then it goes over across the Pacific,
stops in French Polynesia. Finally it wanders its way down

(18:33):
to the Sydney Harbor. Seven weeks. This does seem like
a cocaine itentity, right, especially all the stops. So two
months I'm aboarded. This boat essentially is going to be
their thing. Now. They also have a minder, like a
criminal chaperone. There is a sixty three year old man
named Andre Tomine who's going to be with them two

(18:53):
young girl year and also he's not alone either is
with Andre just not so good of conversation. So he
has three travel mates that are with him as well,
that are friends that the two women rarely see it first,
but slowly these men make their presence known on the
ship to the women. Right. The four men are Stephen Chevrier,

(19:17):
Michel Nicole, and Andre the first one I told you. Okay,
so there's three days. Two of them are secret like
hiding in the cabins. Three of them. Three of them
basically just they just always seemed to be wherever the
girls are. And then like they'll go to eat with Andre,
and all of a sudden, these like Andre will like
waiver signal to one of the guys. They started to go,
do you know these guys things start putting it together,

(19:38):
and it turns out that these four men all happened
to purchase their twenty dollar cruise tickets from the exact
same Montreal travel agency, and they all happened to pay cash.
They're all the yeah, the only ones who happened to
do this, right, Yeah, So the cruise ship, this cruise
ship that they're spending time on apparently, like you guys
said it has everything. Like I had to read up.
This is the the MSc Princess. So it's Princess Cruise

(20:00):
Lines out of Los Angeles. It boasts all the amenities
you could wish for from a luxury cruise liner. I
didn't know this. They had a day spa, a casino, restaurants,
it had an adrium that was decked out in gold.
I mean the thing. It's just luxury, luxury, right, It's
like a Vegas attraction, but like actually done really nicely. Okay,
So the women they start posting Instagram posts. They and

(20:23):
they were like, oh, look at our life and his luxury, right.
And the very first one is a post by Molina
that she put on Instagram. It's her getting Irish coffee
in Ireland and like the little seaside town of Cobb, right,
She's like, oh look, real Irish, do almost some coke.
So then the two start posting the more selfies from

(20:43):
aboard the ship. There's bikini picks, big smiles, sunny ocean bustance,
cocktails in hand, the whole nine. You can imagine the shots, right. Yeah.
The ship then starts passing into the Atlantic waters. Now
we're underway. The coke boat is cruising right, Millian Isabelle.
They start seeing the three Bad Men more and more often.
Now they're like sitting down with them at breakfast or
like this is getting weird. They cross paths all the time.

(21:05):
The men would stop to chat with Andre when they're
just walking the deck. They're like, are we gonna ever
be introduced to these guys? Like, what's their stories? Still
haven't been introduced. They don't know who these guys are
serious presents. No. I like to imagine these dudes like
playing shuffleboard and they got like dark socks, the sandals,
they got like the white shorts, open collar shirts, the
gold chains. But they're like they just spend their evenings

(21:26):
like standing at the rail wanting to see the green
flash and Tomas telling each other about it. Yeah, so
that's what they're doing. Man, these Montreal hard men, and
they're they're friendly minder Andre. They just keep being hard
men on the cruise and being generally suspicious. But the women,
they don't really put any of this together. They're like,
that's probably the coke guys. I guess, I don't know whatever.

(21:47):
I would love to be on this cruise and then
just be letting my run wild Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
you'd be overheating here completely. I'd have smoke coming out
of my ears trying to figure out. Yeah. So, eventually
the cruise gets to Canada and they stop at Nova Scotia.
It's one of their stops and the passengers, one of
the passengers on the MSc Princess disembarks. He's one of

(22:09):
the four men incidentally, and uh, the ones who are
friendly with Andre. Right, so this man is Michelle Chiasol.
Michelle disembarks in Nova Scotia and Molina Isabel don't know
why he gets off the boat. They don't see him,
and they also don't notice that he gets grabbed by
customs when he gets off. When he steps off the
boat and customs says, hey, we want to talk to you, right,
So the Canadian border officials take him to custody. They

(22:31):
interview him, and what Molina and Isabel also don't know
is that Michelle Chiassol ends up fingering them as suspects
for authorities to keep an eye on. He's like, yeah,
there's two girls on the boat and they are cocaine smugglers.
It does not me so, but at this point the
boat has left the harbor. It's gone to New York.
So the Canadian authorities can't do anything other than to
phone to New York, so they call the American authorities.

(22:52):
The women get to New York, nothing happens. There's nobody
there waiting for them at the harbor. They get off,
they go to Times Square, they take more selfies. Everything's
la la la, right, So they're enjoying their time. Trips
going well. The pictures are getting mad likes. Everybody's loving it.
People can't believe the life that Molina and Isabelle are
getting to live. They don't see the actual, you know,

(23:13):
the truth lurking behind their smiles. But you know, everybody's
blown away by They're looking at these photos of them
in Bermuda, which is where they go next. The two
Canadians they pose in bikini pics, right, and they're like
like staring wistfully at the sea. They're taking each other's
picture from behind. They're leaning on rocks and stuff and
doing the whole like my feet in the water, my
bunts on the rock, you know. Okay, So the cruise

(23:33):
ship now it passes through the Caribbean and they get
to Colombia. Now things are starting to get spicy, remember
coke boots. Right while they were off the ship cruising
through a zoo in Colombia, we don't know if it
was like yeah, hippos, yes, I don't know if it's
a cocaine zoo. I don't know if Pablo Escobar zoo.
But so they go and they hit up Pablo Escobar

(23:57):
zoo and they're like, this is what the good life
pays for road hippos. They're like, we're looking for inspiration
there it is show what's the little cessma plane he had?
So at this point though, while they're in the zoo
and Colombia, a couple of dudes, young guys who they
recognize from the cruise line, they walk over them like hey,
and the girls are like, oh, we know that the
the Italian guys I said they referred to him, so

(24:18):
they Italian guys. Maybe they're I don't know, attractive Italian
guys and they caught their eye. So they're like, oh,
is the Italian guys. Italian guys come over and go
oh yo, hey, hey, you're doing you're doing that thing
that you're doing that thing we're doing. That's awesome, right,
And she's like what wake nude nus, you're doing the thing.
They're like, oh, they must be with the coca influencers
him exactly. So the Italians make it clear like, hey,

(24:39):
we're running coked also, just like you guys that are
were influencers. Then so this twosome now becomes a foursome.
So them in the two hot Italians, they become four
young coke smugglers out on the world. Right, they have
breakfast together, lunch together. Like, I'm customs, I would walk
through this ship because you know, the bulk of the

(24:59):
people who can afford to do this and have the
time our retirees. So if I'm on the Round the
World cruise ship and I'm walking around, I see some
young folks and I and they're not and they're hanging
out with a dude name Andre to me out of
here hauling them off red flag, red flag. Yeah, well
you're not far from the truth on that. So these
new fast friends Molina is about and the two Italians,

(25:20):
they're always hanging out and uh, they lays about the
pool together, they son tan together. And it turns out
the Italians seemed to also know Andre and the hard men,
so they're like, you know, winking a nod from a
distance to them, so they're like, okay. They get confirmation
when the boat goes to its next stop in Peru,
and these guys all get off the boat and they
go to a building and they make five different trips

(25:42):
to load things onto the boat. So whatever it was
that they needed to get it took them five trips together.
And they're being really hush hush about it, but they
get all this stuff loaded onto the boat. A souvenirs, yes,
a lot of like statuary and various blankets, things that
would look good in a storefront. Yeah. So anyway, so
we're in the import export exactly. Balina posts a photo

(26:06):
from her Peru stop. She is and I kid you
not astride and a TV wearing a bikini in this
rugged background, and her caption reads, it was just really crazy,
Oh my god. Yeah. She also, by the way, added
hashtags hashtag bucket list, hashtag quad after that, it's onto
the Pacific. Now we're going. So they got a Chile

(26:29):
and the coke boat is now on towards other exotic
destinations more exciting and new. Come aboard. We've got the
coke for you. So they disembark in French Polynesia Molina.
She decides to consecrate this whole fantastic magical trip with
a tattoo, because, of course tattoo. So she chooses two
intersecting lines, which is a sign of protection. Firstal life

(26:51):
traveling exactly Jesus Zodiac killing. So she posted caption on
her photo with her new tattoo, and it says, and
I quote used to be afraid to get out of
my little town, and now I feel like I don't
want to see that little town anymore because it's beautiful
out there and it is so worth it. So that
post earned her a boatload of likes. D it's so

(27:13):
worth it would come back to bite her in her
sun tanned ass. So two days before the Sea Princess Ak,
the coke boat arrives in Sydney Harbor, it's final destination.
Isabel is alone when one of the Italians comes up
to he and says, give me your room key. So
she's like, what do you mean my room key? I
don't why do you need my room key? He's like,
you know, So she has to hand over a room key,
not by her choice, but she hands it over. The

(27:33):
Italian tells Isabel that the coke will be in your stateroom,
and uh, just put it in your luggage and don't worry.
She's like, what do you mean. He's like, hey, don't worry.
No one in Australian Customs would ever check the bags
of a pretty girl like you. She's like, you think.
So the next day the ship arrives at Sydney Harbor.
And now, Elizabeth, I'd like you to close your eyes

(27:54):
and picture it. It's six August sixteen. You've been on
board the Sea Princess now for seven weeks. You were
invited by your friend, the heir to the Fluffer Nutter fortune.
It's been a beautiful cruise, but by this point you
never want to see a buffet line or a cruise
ship comedian ever. Again. You can't wait to set foot

(28:15):
on Australian land. But you're also a bit of a
busy body, as we all know. Now. You take notice
when a squadron of police and customs officials streamlinded the
ship as soon as you arrive in the Sydney Harbor.
You're like, goody, so you decide not to immediately disembark.
But that's also not really your choice because the cops
aren't letting anyone off the boat until they've inspected all

(28:35):
two thousand rooms and get to search them. So now
you have to bide your time, So you stroll the
decks not worried about your room. You're looking for trouble,
so you find it when you walk past cabin number
P three one two. You turn when you hear a
squadron of cops approaching you. But it's not just cops.
There's also folks from the Australian Border Protection and they
have dogs, so you're like, yes, dogs, what's it all

(28:56):
the excitement about. Is there a stowaway on board? You
wonder the big does the border cops have dogs with them?
And these dogs are not bomb sniffing dogs. They look
to be drug sniffing dogs. And just as you're standing
there in the passageway of the cruise ship, the cop
dogs indicate what they're looking for is behind the door
of cabin P three one two. Cops pound on the door.

(29:16):
You wait, all eager to see whose cabin it is.
You have your suspicions. You're like, I bet it's one
of those guys, and you're surprised when you see who
opens the door. It's that pretty young brunette woman, Molina
what's her name from Canada? You ate dinner with her
one at the casino. When she sees the cops at
her door, her eyes widen. Your eyes widened in surprise.
The cops don't ask to be let in. They just

(29:38):
pushed past her and they start going and the dogs
quickly locate the lug and start barking and sounding. Tech
comes into the room. He checks using tracing technology to
determine there is, indeed cocaine present on the luggage. Everyone
was like, oh, this is it. You're like, oh, this
is the best. And you see that pretty much. They
go to open up the suitcase. They open it up
and boom, you see, sitting right there on top is

(29:59):
pretty much helos of cocaine, just of cocaine, specifically thirty
five kilos of cocaine in American terms, that's seventy eight
pounds of cocaine. That's like a small child of right.
So when the cops und zip the bags, Billina completely
loses her cool. She's like, oh, that's not that's not mine.
I don't know they got there. She becomes hysterical, she
can't speak anymore. She starts crying. She falls in the ground,

(30:20):
wailing and sobbing, and then starts to hyperventilate. You're like, oh,
someone should get a bag, so you start pointing around.
The cops don't know what to do because only bags inside.
I'll have cocaine and them what should we do? Fast
thinking that you are, you tell an officer grab one
of the trash bags. They grab a trash bag. It
hasn't been used. They hand it to Molina. She's able
to breathe and calm down. But you've kind of ruined
your spot because now the cops still you're watching. They

(30:42):
slam the door in your face and that's the end
of the scene. For that's wonderful. The youth ay as
the door is slammed in your face, they look like
such nice girls. Meanwhile, the Australian authorities continue their coke
starch and they also locate Andre to means room he's
cabin holds an additional sixty kilos of cocaine. That's about
a hundred and thirty two pounds of cocaine. Now all

(31:03):
told thirty two that's two d and ten pounds of cocaine.
That's equivalent to a whole Tom Arnold of cocaine like
he was. That was the first person I looked up
online who there. Their weight was listed at two pounds.
But I also found that when Roy Jones Junior weighed
in to fight Mike Tyson, Roy Jones Junior weighed in
at two pounds, which means they were moving a heavyweight

(31:25):
boxer amount of cocaine. Yeah. Now, Elizabeth, if you were wondering, Zarin,
how much would a Roy Jones junior worth of cocaine worth? Oh,
that's a good question, Elizabeth, And turns out the answer
is twenty two million US dollars. Wow, that's in prices.
Now after this little break out on this yeah, oh no, no,

(31:45):
they were geting. She got six grand spending money. Yeah. Now,
after this break I'll be back to tell you how
all of this blows out. Okay, Elizabeth. So this coke

(32:17):
bust is now Australian history. It is the largest in
Australian history to date. This coke bust was so massive
that interrupted the cocaine supply for the city of Sydney. Like,
people couldn't find cocaine after this. They're all waiting for
the coke boat to arrive. So interestingly, when the cops
were like checking the luggage they found in Andrea to
means cabin, there was a name tag on one of

(32:39):
the pieces of luggage and the name tag belonged to
Michel exactly. So remember he said, you, oh, let's see
two girls. Apparently there was some fight between him and
Andre to me and or something, and he got pushed
out and then he's like, push me out to watch this,
and he got his revenge and took him all down.
So it was every Sydney disco. So Melina Rubager and Isabelle,

(33:04):
like Gas and Andre to mean, they all get arrested
in Australia. And I don't know if you know this,
but Austin law is not cool on cocaine. They're all
facing life sentences for cocaine smuggling. Sarin, I have watched
to catch a smuggler. Yeah, never mind. Then you know
it's an Australia version that I don't need to tell
you anything. I didn't know about this, but cocaine is
also very expensive in Australia, Yeah, like really expensive. Like okay,

(33:26):
I've traveled to Columbia and I was shocked at how
cheap cocaine was down there. What did it like? Advertise
it on supermarket? No. I talked to people who had cocaine.
They were like, I have cocaine for so would you
like to buy it? And I was like how much
for the cocaine? But the Aprile cocaine it was like
three to five dollars for April. Now, I'm not a
coke person. I didn't end up buying it, but the

(33:46):
prices blew me away. I just wanted to know. I
just like to know. But what were the prices on
the street? Right? So at that time in America, just
to keep this in perspective, and Graham would have been
about fifty dollars and Aprile will be about a hundred
and fifty dollars, it was three to five dollars for
an eight ball cocaine and it was like pure exactly right. Now,
take that same logic and you go all the way
down to Australia, so far from the source that it

(34:08):
is four to five times is expensive. So there was
this blustering cocaine market growing there that the Hell's Angels
and other people are running because it's so big that
prices are amazing. So the sinealoa cartel and all these
people are trying to get into the Australian market because
it's just worths so much more. So this was like
the beginnings of this be really being them going big,

(34:28):
like how do we get it in the cruise ships
go down to Australia. So they were pushing it through
cruise ships until Michelle Chias Song got a little petty
and decided to finger the two Instagram influencers and ruined
it for everybody. So now Sydney had no cocaine. I
wanted to check the prices, and so I didn't really
I don't know how to check, you know, Dustralian drug prices.
I was like, hey, am I calling Australia. No, there

(34:51):
wasn't like a dark web price sheet I could check.
But I did check Vice and vices usedly good about
knowing this kind of stuff, and they said that a
quilo of cocaine and I quote sell wholesale in Australia
for two hundred and twenty eight thousand dollars to two
hundred and fifty nine thousand dollars one kilo of cocaine,
in comparison to an average wholesale price of fifty four

(35:11):
thousand dollars in the US and eight in the UK.
What's the Kirkland brand costco. It's Kaine, so you can
see why now the national Kirklane cocaine. The international criminals
were so hyped on Australia, right. But I feel bad
for old Molina Isabelle because these two decided to trust

(35:32):
the idiots who are trying to take advantage of this
price difference, and they didn't even think to ask any questions.
And I said, oh, yes, this will be fine, We'll
go at an Instagram influence to be great. Now, if
you stopped in Colombia and Peru, as you noted, you're
gonna raise red flags to the cops, which is what happened.
And I can attest that when I flew to Colombia
and I flew back from Colombia, I've never been searched
like that in my entire life. They opened up all

(35:54):
of my luggage, took out all of my clothes, they
were breaking souvenirs like they let him drop onto the
airport floor. All of my clothes are on the airport floor.
I had to repack the entire bag at the customs station.
I've never anything like that. My friend Dave Korean gentleman.
He was with me. We were going down to Columbia
to shoot this movie. He comes back and he's got
a thing of protein powder, a giant tub like weightlifter

(36:16):
protein powder, and he brought He's weird, so he brought
with him and it was it's white powder. They opened
it up, they look in and they're like, what's this.
He's like protein powder. They're like okay to each other
at customs. Yeah, so they didn't do anything, didn't even like,
didn't even like put put a finger in and give
it like a little sniff or a whiff, not see

(36:36):
if the stuff goes. No. Nothing. So I'm just saying,
is it's a little bit uh. The security is based
on red flags and not on actual like let's actually
test this. So the girls they could have gotten away
with this. I can see why they thought they could
have and might be willing to bet you without Michelle
Chias they would have gotten away with it, but they didn't.
So the difference in all of this is that you know,

(36:57):
my friend the uh, he looked innocent. They looked innocent,
but their friends did not look In this case, I
would have been the andre to me anyway, you get
the point. So Malina Isabelle. They had to go before
an Australian judge. The judge is not down with social media.
She's not down with their whole lifestyle of Instagram influencing
and bikini photos. So District Court Judge Kate Trail, she

(37:21):
goes hard in the pain on these girls and she
shames the two women for their life shaped by shame.
She's like, just before announcing their verdict and sentencing this judge,
she pulls out the chopper and just guns down the
defendants with shame. And I you know, I believe in
the shame based economy system, economy a shave based to

(37:42):
so she says, and I coote she wanted to be
the envy of others. I doubt she is now the
envy of others. Now you're going to an Australian prison
for seven years. How you like that? Okay? I added
that last I was like hoping that she said directly,
I was gonna do an all Australian accent just but
that was like that. So the two of women, they
get sentenced to seven and eight years in prison. Now

(38:03):
isabel Lagas she's eligible for parole. In February one, Welcome
back to freedom, Isabel My good question. I'm sure you're
wondering the same thing, Elizabeth. Probably what about sugar Daddy?
Yeah right, whatever happened to that eurosh dad? And he wasn't.
He wasn't. She wasn't on the boat. No, remember he
said I'd be on the boat and he wasn't. He
just had the minder andre to me. So, despite the

(38:24):
fact that it could have helped her in court, Molina
refuses to name him. So does so does Isabel. Well,
they're smart because he probably would have taken them and
everyone that he threatened. Their families already always one of them. Now,
Molina said, during starts sentencing hearing quote, I feel like
I would be endangered if I did mention his name,
So she straight up says it. Now, there is a
suspect that gets named by Canadian press outlets, and they

(38:46):
suggested that sugar Daddy was a man who had once
hired Isabelle to be the manager at a jewelry store
he owned but is now since closed. Neither woman would
Datus refuse to confirm who this guy was. So whatever,
it doesn't really matter. Sugar Daddy, nothing bad hapens to him.
What if it's Tom Hanks, that would be amazing stranger
things Molina. She gets released from the Australian prison and

(39:10):
then she sends up serving four years of her eight
year sentence. She gets released like I don't know, good
behavior whatnot. She gets deported back to Canada because Australia's like,
get the hell outright, And now guess what she is?
This is the one who is the influencer. Yeah, the
primary influence, not the influencer. And she worked was a
club scene. She worked in a jewelry store. She worked

(39:32):
a couple of different places. But I don't know. She
like a kindergarten. I'll give you a hint. She's been
to prison. Okay, she's now a published author. Man, I'm
telling you, if you want a book deal due time.
Every author is just like rolling. Everyone goes to prisons,
they come out like I got a story, tell people
like a program. It's like, what that was a waste

(39:54):
of money? She just got locked up, gone on a
world tour. Exactly got some She was at the very
end of the world tour. She got the tour. Yeah,
good point. She'll always have those memories there. And you
can't take those away. So her book that she wrote
was a of course, about her brief time as an
accidental tourist come international drug smuggler. I bet you, I
bet you. It's really really well written. Oh, no ghostwriters involved,

(40:18):
there was all her. She wrote it in prison on
toilet paper. The book of the title is Psalms Filter,
which in French or as close as I got is
unfiltered or without filter, which is of course a joke
on the Instagram filters. You get it. So Amina says
she learned a hard truth from her time in prison,
and I quote, the lesson learned is far greater than

(40:41):
the story itself, and I wanted to take the chance
to tell it in my own words. I am so
grateful and excited to finally be able to share with
you the five years that changed the course of my life.
And yes, that announcement was made on Instagram. She's back. Bitches. Wait,
I want a list of all the people who bought
all seven talked to her. I want to talk to him.

(41:02):
Why did you do you know how to read? This
is just going to go into pictures? Is this a prop?
What is this? Did she post pictures from when it's
actually just a coloring book. Instagram still live he got
taken down. I had to find like internet archives stories
that had clips from it. It would be so rich
to look at those pictures, the comments, the comments from

(41:24):
the people when it was still live, because they were
able to say all sorts of stuff when she was
first arrested, so people were just don'ting on them. It
was a graveyard. So, Elizabeth, what's a ridiculous takeaway? Yeah,
I think, um, a lot of things. One, it's good
to be a nosy person, but the busy body part.

(41:46):
You gotta bind your own business, but you gotta just
like don't get involved. So if you're on a cruise ship, speculate, speculate,
but keep it, you know what, your business, mainly because
you don't want someone like sugar Daddy knifing you in
your sleep and dumping you over the side of the
boat because you know too much, too much. I think
that we need to start educating our youth about not

(42:08):
being even about Yeah, I mean, like, honestly, this is
a bad man. This is and just the whole Instagram
influencer thing, like letting that override any kind of logic
or reason, Like this guy is gonna this guy is
gonna pay for this this tour twenty grand worth of

(42:29):
a ticket, but give you six thousand spending spending money.
And so really that's your pay for this. You're moving
two million dollars worth of goods. You're going to be
on the hook for it. Oh my god, girl, you're
not even getting one person who cares. I don't get
the whole Instagram. I mean, I'm old, there's that, but like,
I don't care if someone wants to go with their

(42:52):
rump hanging out on a beach and take it, I
don't care. Yeah, I don't think that's for you. And
like the people who are like sipping you know, like
a cactail and it's always like ridiculous blended coffee drink
that has all this stuff. You know, you look at
and you're like, you didn't even take a sip of that,
you like post and you threw it away because you
wouldn't consume that many calories and carbohydrates in your entire life,

(43:13):
let alone in one beverage. The only thing I think
that people actually eats the black ice cream. I think
they do eat, maybe, but then it's like they're all
done up and they're put who cares? Who cares? You
know what I want? I want to I want good chuckles.
So well, my ridiculous takeaway. Once again, thank you for asking. Yeah,

(43:37):
you're totally welcoming. There are so few surprises in this story,
right right. It's just like once you get past the
broad rushstrokes of Cokeboa and Instagram influencer and you're a
trash pimp, you just get down to like human nature
one and what every every development? Oh of course, well,
of course that followed beef followed up. I just don't
get why, you know, I guess the cruise lines want

(43:58):
to like turn the turn a blind die on it
because it's a revenue stream to have these people on there.
But it's like when you have young influence. This is
again I just I don't get it, because I still
can't get my head around how these people make money
in terms of as it's sponsored a certain point and

(44:21):
you have enough people who follow you and like your stuff,
companies will say hey, hold this product, and it's you
get paid to do it. It's the same as anything
subscriptions or can you get a crowd to follow? Really
suspicious of that, And so if I see these young
people and then those two Italian cats. You know, this
is just this is red Flag city over there. Just
let all the retired folks who just are they're not

(44:42):
They don't watch enough PBS to be on a Viking
river cruise, so they're on this round the world princess job. Like.
Let them do their thing on their own. They don't
need you coking it up. I thought it was brilliant.
It is. I won't even lie. I was like, man,
that's a good plan. It's a good plan, but also
not a good plan in all honesty that it contains multitudes.

(45:07):
It's human nature. One oh one. Well, that's it for
this one. Thank you for listening. You can find us
online a Ridiculous Crime on both Twitter, Instagram and uh.
On Instagram you've got all the funnies. That's where they
get the stories and the giggles. On Twitter, you get
pictures and some promps and we'll tell you when the
new shows are coming up on both emails if you

(45:27):
want at Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com. Elizabeth loves those,
so please email her directly now the interns take them all. Yeah,
that's true. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and
Zaron Burnett, Produced and edited by Captain Stubing coss player Dave,

(45:48):
whose researches by the HMS Ridiculous Crimes. Cruise Ship director
Marissa Brown. Our theme song is by the House fand
Cruise Ship Magicians, which is Thomas Lee and Travis Dutton.
Executive producers are Ben I'm the Captain now, Bolan and
No No, I am the Captain now. We dias quiet,

(46:12):
say it one more time. We dequeous Crime. Ridiculous Crime
is a production of I Heart Radio. Four more podcasts
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