Those Battlin' Bachs! Johann and Sebastian

There's Sebastian Bach. The former lead singer of the hair metal band, Skid Row. You expect stories of him acting out –– that's kinda his whole deal. He goes through life like he's a one-man reality show about a former rock star who now enjoys wine bars and Broadway. But there's also his namesake, Johann Sebastian Bach. And let us tell ya, he was every bit the bad boy. And just as criminally ridiculous. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous crime. It's a production of iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hello, Liz Sarn. How you doing. I'm good. How are
you doing? I'm doing? Okay. I got a question for you. Yes,
do you like this hat? Yes? Thank you. I got
another question for you yes, did the shoes go with
the hat? No? Okay. Third question that it's ridiculous I do.
It's not a mashup because you finally broke it. You're like, oh,

(00:24):
I got one, that it's the end.

Speaker 3 (00:28):
So did you know that until nineteen ninety six the
British government considered bagpipes a weapon of war.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm not surprised. I didn't know that.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
But it all goes back to Cullawdon right, oh wow, Yeah,
everything goes back.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
With the Scots in the English.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
Right, And so the Brits captured a Scottish piper and
you know, convicted him of treason and said that the
weapon he was carrying the pipes. And because you know,
the bagpipes are used to wrap I mean you can
hear for souper far.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Away, and they make good for both scaring and for
organized organizing your keys exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
And it's like when you're used to hearing the sound
if it's not super jarring to you. Then it is
like rousing and it's stirring, and.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
It can be all that, you know, how you play it.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
It's basically it's what you make of it. And so anyway,
nineteen ninety six, this dude was in Hampstead Heath in
London and he wouldn't stop playing the bagpipes.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
That's a big public place too to be doing that.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, and all the neighbors were like, oh, stop because
some people.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Really hate pipes.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Oh yeah, and so and I don't know what time
of day he was playing these things, so maybe it
was like early in the morning, but either way, so
he's playing these pipes and then he gets busted with
his fine for disturbing the peace. But then his lawyer
points out that that decision in seventeen forty six declaring it,

(01:53):
you know, a weapon of war was never overturned, so
he couldn't be charged with an eighteen nineties by law
of disturbing the piece with a musical instrument because it
was actually a weapon of war. And so then it's like, well,
the you know, the magistrates will wait a second, So then.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Are you carrying the weapon of war?

Speaker 3 (02:13):
A dangerous weapon instead of so it goes back and forth,
back and forth, he winds up. They write a new
law that in times of war it's a weapon of war,
times of peace, it's a musical instrument. And he had
to pay the fines for annoying.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Do you at least get his name attached to the law.
I don't think so. Ah, you got to get your
name attached to that law.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
Come on, not when you've got a piper, dude.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
And that is ridiculous. That is definitely ridiculous.

Speaker 4 (02:40):
No, it is.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
That's what I told you about. That's the ridiculous. Well,
imagine you're some badass rock star. You know, I don't
have to imagine. Okay, yeah, so keep that energy now.
I imagine that you're the kind of guy the girl
who snarls at pop razzi. And also you're the kind
of rock star like kicks their own fans oh right,
and like you're the kind whose own band hates him, right,

(03:01):
And then like you get arrested at a bar in
Canada and for being a douchebag, and everyone's like, yeah,
everyone loves it. Okay, it's ridiculous.

Speaker 5 (03:10):
That is ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
This is ridiculous crime. My podcast about absurd and outrageous capabis,
heists and cons. Daddy is always ninety motor free and ridiculous.
Ridiculous Elizabeth. Today, I want to talk to you about J. S. Bach,
the Canadian American rock star. Wait, got my notes mixed up?

(03:54):
I mean sp Bach as in Sebastian Philip Bach, Yes,
leads singer of the band skid Row. I loved that band.
Back to the idea, Oh my god, this is a
huge fan for real, did you really? I know you
love guns and roses. So this is like too far afield,

(04:15):
but it's way more of that.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
It's like, yeah, there's a lot.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
So I was gonna I had like looked up song
titles to jar your memory. You can be singing lyrics
back then? I yes, I am. Oh wow. So then okay,
fun fact, do you know that Sebastian Bach is a
stage name that I didn't know? Wow? I got something
in that. Okay, so he was makes sense? Yeah, of
course he was born in Sebastian, but he was not
born a Bach. He was born a Berk. B I

(04:42):
E r k y kind of ringing the bells. Sebastian
Philip Berk born in the Bahamas in April nineteen sixty eight.
Family soon moved to what would become his hometown of Peterborough, Ontario.
Remember that town name. It'll come up again later. What
do you know of Sebastian Bach? You like, just when
you think of him beyond like, oh, he's got that
great you know, I don't know voic hair hair. I

(05:07):
don't think I know that he's a total jerk. Yes,
he has a total Did he do like reality tea? Lately?
He's been really acting on Broadway.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
I saw a video not too long ago on Instagram
of him drunk singing in like a hotel that sounds right,
at a conference for and I'm not sure what it
was for, and I just didn't have a heart to
open it up and really look at it.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Well, that sounds about right. Yeah. So the band skied
Row your favorite. Their first album, upon eponymously titled skid Row,
was came out in nineteen eighty nine. Uh huh and uh.
They followed that up with Slave to the Grind, came
out in nineteen ninety one, sophomore album. Both of those
huge hits multi platinum. Yeah. Right, And so let's just
go over some song titles eighteen in life. That was

(05:52):
like the Yeah, that was I loved it. Yeah, okay,
do you remember I remember you? Yeah? That was the
power ballad. Hey, there you go. Yeah. They were both
like Billboard Hot one hundreds, Oh yeah, the heavy MTV rotation, yes, yes, okay,
monkey business that one worked. Yeah, I can't remember that
kind of youth gone wild. Oh yeah yeah. The other

(06:15):
title hit Slave to the Grind, Yeah, that was the title,
and then like A Wasted Time that's another power ballot.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
I figured i'd bring up I wanted to range experience.
So their third album, sub Human Race, that came out
in nineteen ninety five. I don't know anything about that.
Critics liked it, some loved it. Fans were like, nah,
because Brune, it happened years past the point of Grind
and everyone's like, oh, skid Row is still making music.
That's wild. I had no interest, but that's interesting. So

(06:44):
at this point there's still alive. Yeah exactly. That marked
the beginning of them playing like state and county fairs.
Later on they would be doing reunion tours, but it
was all like that was their future, right, Let's don't
talk about the rough years, at least not yet let's
talk about the fun beginning the early years. From what
I understand, John bon Jovi is to blame for skid row.
I mean I did, I can't, but like it is

(07:06):
his fault. Yeah, I think, aren't the rest of them
from New Jersey? Yes, I didn't know this. So the
band was coming up, everyone knew it, who knew them,
and everyone in the music industry on the East Coast,
specifically in the New York, New Jersey area and include Philly.
I guess they could see that they were on the
cusp of breaking right. Everyone's like, oh my god, they're
so close to success. And then that's when their boat
begins to sink. Right when they're just you know, within

(07:27):
view of the coast, the boat begins to sink. And
then at this point steps in bad Boy of New Jersey,
John bon Jovi, John bon Giovy. Yes. Well, first it
was his parents, John bon Jovi's dad, John Bonjovy, a senior,
a barber, and former marine, and his lovely wife Carol
bon Govy, who was coincidentally also a former marine, but

(07:49):
also a former playboy Bunny Wait. John bon Jovi's mom
was a playboy bunny Yes, Anna Marine and later a florist.
This is fantastic, assuming Carol had stories. Carol, Yeah, yeah. Anyway,
they're together at a wedding, Carol and John bon Jovi
Senior and the rock photographer Mark Weis is getting betrothed.
So he's there and he's got a young Sebastian Box

(08:12):
singing at the reception, and John bon Jovi's parents are impressed,
and they were like, you know, our sons in the
music business, and you should call him. In fact, you
should call his friend Dave Sabo. He needs a singer
for his band. Have you ever been to New Jersey? So, Elizabeth,
you don't know this. Dave Sabo was the original guitarist
for the band of a little band called bon Jovi. Okay.

(08:32):
He was later replaced by Richie Sambora, who everybody knows. Yeah,
he's a cowboy on a steel horse. He right, exactly.
So Dave Sabo was John bon Jovi's childhood friend. They
grew up in the same hood in New Jersey. They
went way back, right, So anyway, young Sebastian Bach he
does as John bon Jovi's parents tell him to do.
He rings Dave Sabo and the band is like, yeah, man,

(08:53):
you should come out to New Jersey. We're having tryouts.
And Sebastian Bok's like, okay, I'll be there amen. So
he flies out to New Jersey from Canada. He does
his killer audition, apparently because skid Row offers him the job.
So they're like, you nailed it, kid. Nineteen eighty seven,
Sebastian Bach joins the band. He's the new lead singer.
Now they're breack headed for success. Yeah right, soon enough,
he's now the face of the band because the lead

(09:15):
singer is gonna be the face of the band. So
it's their band and they hire this kid and he
becomes the face of the band, and the band it
does indeed blow up. In nineteen eighty nine, band drops
their debut album, The skid Row Huge Hit, YadA, YadA, YadA.
A little while back, Sebastian Bach he had dropped a memoir.
He looked back at those heady days of the rock
stardom in the late eighties and early nineties. Yeah, yeah,

(09:38):
wistfully remembering like, oh, it's so great you could get
drugs anywhere time. Yeah, exactly. I had all these teams
of lawyers. So he also brought up his feud with
John bon Jovi, the man whose parents started his career
because they got into a feud once he was a star.
So Jo not know that. I didn't either. John bon
Jovi was critical to skid row success everything, and I

(09:58):
also remember the band his childhood frame band. So he's
gonna be a protective of the band. And now they've
got this like full of themselves Canadian hair metal kid
like I'm the band. So the band's about to drop
their debut album. John bon Jovi goes, I'm gonna help
them out, so let's take them out on the road.
They can open for bon Jovi. That'll be a huge boost. Yeah,
So they're doing their nineteen eighty eight, nineteen eighty nine

(10:18):
and New Jersey Syndicate tour. I'm not sure if you
remember this. No I don't. I didn't know. The story
goes skid Row's opening for John bon Jovi and it's
going well, perhaps too well. The band's album comes out,
fans coming out to see John bon jovire and suddenly
folks coming out to see skid Row the opener. Yeah,
so that because a little tension between the bands, you know,
and then also apparently the merch numbers shift and John

(10:40):
bon Jovi's band, it's as much Merchant skid Row. I
don't know, but I find it all kind of hard
to believe in that part of the telling. What I
do believe is it in nineteen eighty nine, while they're
watching the stratospheric rise of skid Row, it goes to
Sebastian box Head. That's why I hear what happened? Well,
I mean, I think too, what is it eight?

Speaker 3 (10:57):
I don't know what album on Jovi was supporting with
the tour, but I feel like at this point like
they had peaked.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yes they were, They were definitely crush.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
And he's like just about to go into a solo career, right,
like I think pretty much, yeah, and so yeah, it's
just then you get like and and skid Row. We're
super MTV ready, Yes, you know, like it was.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
And there they don't know it, but the whole window
on this rock music is very quickly closed. They got
two years essentially. Yeah, that's it, and then it'll be
nobody wants you what you're doing anymore?

Speaker 4 (11:30):
Exactly you and rat you know, so one night, sure
warrant and get in.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
At this point, Sebastian Bach though doesn't know this, so
success has gone to his head. An old sea bass
starts to piss off his fellow front man John bon Jovi.
One night after their set, John bon Jovi comes over
to the skid Row dressing room and, as Sebastian Bach
tells it, he stared me down and said the words
I'll own you. So another big you know potty.

Speaker 6 (11:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
After that, bon jovin skid Row had beef right. So
later on in the tour, the stage crew for bon
Jovi starts allegedly throwing milk all over Sebastian Bak just
before he's supposed to go out on stage, right, so
he's covered in melt. I don't know. Yeah, So he
goes out on stage anyway because he's like, I'll show
you guys, and then he launches into this rant about
what a bunch of posers bon Jovi are and the headliners,

(12:21):
and he calls the lead singer, John Bond blow me
to all the fames in front of a fans who
came to see bon Jovi well drenched and trenched him out.
As Newton would tell you, Isaac Newton, every action has
a reaction. Is on stage rant against bon Jovi at
their show led to a New Jersey sized reaction, not

(12:42):
the state, like I'm from New Jersey and this is
what's gonna be the reaction. So back to Sebastian Bach.
We saw about sixty people coming towards us. They're backstage,
crowd of sixty people in the back just coming at them.
Leading the charge of this road crew and pissed off
like people is former marine John bon Jovic, followed closely
by his son, John bon Jovi Junior. John bon Jovi

(13:05):
Junior marches right up to Sebastian Bak and he gets
in his face and he shouts, I heard what you
said on my stage, and then he threw a punch,
but his punch was poorly aimed and it missed wide
of his target apparently. And now before frontman on frontman
violence can go any and get get any bigger and
get any uglier, the road crew grabs Sebastian Bach and

(13:25):
slams them up against the wall. There's between these Oh yeah, definitely,
he's much taller than John bon Jovi. I don't know
how he could get in his face, you know, he
got in his chest. So anyway, the road crew now
was like holding him up against the wall and maybe
getting like something for John bon Jovi to stand on
and get in his face again. Yeah so, but the
at this point, you know, they're also just mad. He

(13:46):
like dared not to get hit by an initial pro right.
So meanwhile, the former marine daddy bon John Job, he
shoves an angry figure in Sebastian Bok's face and he
starts shouting at him. Right, according to Sebastian Bar, there's
Carolyn All, she's being reasonable, she's just working on a caress.
She's calling in the big guns. She's pulling a carmelo.

(14:07):
The phone rings at the bottom bank. Yeah. So Sebastian Bach,
who was there, tells us bon Jovi Senior pointed in
my face as I was held against the wall, and
he said I'll kill you or something like that. So
after everybody's getting all their potty mouth anger out after
that encounter Sebastian Bach versus John bon Jovi, the feud
simmers for another decade, right until two thousand and six.

(14:29):
They meet in a London bar. They hug it out
like bros. They say, man, let's put the pass behind it.
How could you bite the hand that feeds you? Like
that where you like, do not know dad hooks?

Speaker 3 (14:40):
She was yes, and then like how uncomfortable it makes
it in the band because like his band made.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah your friend exactly. Yeah, I didn't know any of
that dynamic about the band. Fun fact that I did
learn while researching this one. In nineteen eighty a young
bon Jovi, that's John bon Jovi, just him, not the
whole band, had no professional credits to his name, right,
but he we'd have a little band called the Rest
that's it, right, not the best name, but whatever. Anyway,
he's working at a recording studio pushing a broom, just

(15:06):
like Chris Christofferson did. And again, this is nineteen eighty, right,
So there's this massive hit out there still shaping pop culture.
And this massive hit was called Star Wars, came out
years prior, but still an Empire is going to come
out that year, but it's still shaping the culture so
much that there was a disco DJ in New Jersey
who was looking for a way to cash in on

(15:26):
all that Star Wars loose money around in the culture.
This disco producer was named Miko, and he was working
on a little project called Christmas in the Stars. The
Star Wars Christmas album, because the thinking was kids would
ask their parents to buy anything with the words Star
Wars on it, right, true. So remember, yeah, as I
said John bon Jovi June.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
You owned the like for years, late seventies, eighties, mid eighties.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
If you put Star Wars on something or picture of
an e wall, it works like that today it still does. Yeah,
it's exactly. It's just like a money printing machine. It's
why Disney bought it, that's right. So John bon Joe
he's pushing his room at this recording studio and now
he's there the day they're recording Christmas in the Stars,
the Star Wars Christmas album, and for one track, they
don't have the voice they need. So Johnny bon Jovi

(16:11):
is like, hey, I can sing, and so the disco
producers like, okay, baby, let's tell you pipes right, And
Johnny bon Jovi takes his place at the mic, and
when the track comes up, he starts singing the lyrics
to R two D two's version of we Wish You
a Merry Christmas. Wait, and that's how John bon Jovi
got his first professional music crack. He just started with
an R two D two. He just did like, no,

(16:32):
he sings, I don't know he sings the lyrics. R
two two can't sing here, he can't be boobop his
way through. He's like accent, he's like scatting. I guess
what is an R two D two accent?

Speaker 3 (16:44):
I know in your deep bag of accents, you've got
an R two D two accents.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
The whistles, though, are so hard to it's like and
then he's like, just like that, just like that. But
I'm sure you all have heard that the main Star
Wars theme by Miko, like the disco version, right, yes,
oh yeah, no, definitely it's so good. Yeah, I want

(17:10):
the album now. It's a banger. No, it definitely is. Yeah.
It's the reason why he's like, let's do a Christmas
album because people are like, this is dope. I got
more dope. Yeah, So there you go. From a flagrant
cash grab, John bon Jovi gets his first one. Anyway,

(17:30):
this sounds like many of my my bad weekends. So
let's take a little break, slip into something comfortable, listen
to some ads, and after these messages we'll get into
the battle and box. Yes, okay, Elizabeth Jaren. At this point,

(18:02):
I've pulled this bowstring back far enough to make it
nice and tough. You ready to see this arrowfly? Yes?
So in nineteen ninety six, Sebastian Bach was fired from
his band skid Row. He had a good run, you know,
last year, from nineteen eighty seven to nineteen ninety six,
at least three good years. Yeah, and then just a
full nine year run, you know. So anyway, that's one
year longer than the American Revolution. The reason why Sebastian

(18:25):
Bach was fired from skid Row remains the matter of
myth and speculation, oh the gossip of heavy metal roadies
and groupies. But there are certain rumors, like there's one
rumor that Sebastian Bach was fired from skid Row because
he wanted the band to play as an opener for
one of his favorite childhood bands. Want I guess what
band Sebastian Bach idolized as a kid and was willing
to risk it all to tour with.

Speaker 4 (18:46):
Yes, do you know the storys Oh, my god, you're good.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
I'm trying to think of like what you know, I'm
just not a big fan of j at his agent?

Speaker 2 (18:57):
What's theme for his age? And like a megaband that
went still being around but like lame. Yeah exactly. The
people be like what just going.

Speaker 3 (19:06):
Like super hard or like really, oh my god, they're
amazing musicians, and it's like this, you know.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah, he's not risking for the MC five, he's exactly,
it's just tracks. So Sebastian Bach was he wanted to
open for Kiss, and the rest of skid Row was like,
will they be wearing the makeup and they're lays up
boots and capes. Yeah, that's not really what they said.
But what did happen is Elizabeth, let me take you back.
It was nineteen ninety six. Grunge was big hair metals

(19:31):
out at this point. Oh yeah, has cut their hair right?

Speaker 3 (19:34):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
Yeah, So at this point in the culture therapy exactly,
they're doing anger management. So neither skid Row nor Kiss
is at the top of the charts anymore, but they
both still have armies of loyal fans and they're not
too old to rock and roll.

Speaker 3 (19:46):
Ninety six too, we're getting through grunge into new metal.

Speaker 2 (19:49):
Yes, exactly, we're making that shift. So when Kiss announces
like what silver Chair happens, Everyone's like, Okay, grunge is
not Let's move on. So when Kiss announces a reunion tour,
they reach out to Sebastia Bach, who is a Kiss
superstan as I said, and they asked if skid Row
wants to go on tour with Kiss and open for
the glam demons of rock and roll, and Sebastian Bach
is like, yes, absolutely yes, oh my god, jumping up

(20:11):
and down. And then he goes to tell his bandmates
and they're like, no, absolutely not. And so I guess
they had different opinions about what cool was. And uh.
Sebastian Bach was on Steve O's podcast Wild Ride, and
he recounted the events as best as he could remember
them again rockstar so Memory, but Accordian Sebastian Bak's jin
Soak Memory. The bass player Rachel Bolin had a tour

(20:31):
planned with their side project, a punk band he'd started
with skid Row's Roadies, So that was why Sebastian Bach
didn't get to play with his childhood heroes.

Speaker 6 (20:39):
Ok.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
So he reached out to John bon Jovi's childhood friend,
Old Dave Sabo, guitarist for the band, and Sebastian Bach
had some thoughts about this, like, oh, he's playing with
a punk band, I don't get to play with Kiss,
and he wanted the skid Row guitarist Sabo to hear
his thoughts, and so as Sebastian Bach told Steve Oh
the story, and I quote, I called the guitar player
Dave Sable and then let him know what I thought.

(21:00):
He didn't pick up, so I just went you and
I just let him know what I thought of him
not letting me play with Kiss at the reunion tour
of Kiss in New Jersey at the Meadowlands Arena. So
Elizabeth again, this is nineteen ninety six. It's ninety six,
which is key to the story because in nineteen ninety
six people had answering machines for their house phone. Yeah
you remember those, right. I for some answering machines, while

(21:23):
the person is leaving a message, it plays on his speakerphone.
So anyone standing there in the room with that phone
can hear the message as it's being left and recorded.
This is it used to be great for scenes in
dumb comedies. Well keep that energy in mind, dumb comedy,
because turns out Dave Sabo saw who was calling. He's like,
I'm not answering that, but he did, so he didn't
pick up the call, but he did stand there and

(21:44):
listen to the message on speakerphone. So as Sebastian Bach
is leaving it and Dave Sabo though wasn't alone because
the way Sebastian Bach tells the story to Tears Steve
oh And quote, he goes, my whole family heard that
message that came out of the speaker and my whole
family was there. So that was it. That was what
was the old cliche. Back to Sebastian Bach, that was

(22:06):
the last straw. If you asked the bass player in them,
they will say that there was a lot of leading
up to that, but that was the very last straw.
So I guess, yeah, why he got fired from the
band because he left a message and irritated his bandmate,
John bon Jovi's best friend, screaming at him and being
way too family for a family from New Jersey. But

(22:29):
you know how hard it is to see their standards,
like they've heard some stuff.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
It's I've known bands that have broken up and they're
looking for an excuse if one person is the catalyst
and they're like, oh, oh it was that.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
There was like wait, what a lot more? But I
think you're on. But if we dig his word for it,
he wasn't fired from Sandro because he said yes to kiss,
but he was booted for the band because he was
a pompous, spoiled rock star essentially right, no one wanted
to be around him because they're sick of having to
hold the bag of his bad behavior. So any that
brings us to the story I wanted to tell you today. Yes,
what was the name of that Canadian town I told

(23:05):
you remember up top? Peter something real close? It is Peterborough. Peterborough,
all right, it's easy to remember. Just think spider Man, right,
is Peter Parker. Peter Parker is from the Borough of Queens.
Peter Peterborough. Boom spider Man equals Peterborough has memory trick, Elizabeth.
You'd keep that one for free. It's on the house. Seriously,

(23:27):
come to my seminar this weekend. I'm at the Ramata
n out by the airport. Anyway, the scene of this
crime was Riley's Old Town Pub in Sebastian Box, hometown
of where Peter Peterborough. That's old by the way with
no e at the end. But the town has an
athi end like they couldn't make up their mind which
way they wanted to go the old Towny's Old Town Pub,
old Town Pub on the end of old but at

(23:50):
the end of town. So what about at the end
of pub. No, so they decided they split the difference
on their old time events, like we can only afford
one e. Yeah, so it's November IDEs of November, in fact,
November fifteenth. Yeah. So one thing I thought was funny.
Every single news story that covered this incident made sure
to include the phrase Sebastian Buck whose real name is

(24:12):
Sebastian Berk to bust him out or maybe there's a
lot of people to know. I read the arrest report.
I don't know what.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
It's just like, if you're not familiar with him, they're like, wait,
this man's name is They're.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not it's
not that cool. Don't put on airs. It's beer. It's
actually really lame. So what's the stories? Eric, great question, Elizabeth,
Oh my god, thank you. At the time, Sebastian back,
forty two year old former rock star turned Broadway actor
and part time reality TV person acting with a side
of reunion tour hopeful now reality TV h one, I'm

(24:48):
not going to yeah, exactly. The brother in the house, yay.
So in his hometown of where Elizabeth, Peterborough. There you go.
That's right, spider Man Canada. In an exclusive interview the
music and culture outlet Blabbermouth, Sebastian Bach recalled that and
I quote, I went to Peterborough to deal with my
dad's estate and pack up his art and put it

(25:08):
in the truck and drive it in New Jersey. It
was pure misery. So that was a rough day. One
of my friends wanted to sing a song to me,
a song at the microphone, and the owner wouldn't letter.
So right off, we've got an emotionally stressed rockstea with
aging family care issues. Right, that's always difficult, be super stressful. Yeah,
he said, rough day, we've all.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
You know, when a friend says I want to sing
a song to you in.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
A bar to make you feel better, that's rough. That
puts me through the ringer. So he and his friends,
that is traumatic.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
You friend is like, I want to sing a song
to you.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
In public, probably a bar in your hometown. You tell
me all about it later. So they decided that, you know,
maybe some impromptu karaoke will cheer up Sea Bass, right,
but the man won't let them sing. So what's a
rock and roll rebel like Sea Bass supposed to do well?
From some media reports, I read Sebastian Bach had a
essentially going up to the stage where there was a

(26:07):
house musician playing. I imagine a guy with a guitar. Yeah,
he asked, yeah, maybe, But he asked if his friend
Ken Sagan for the bar patrons, do you know what
song it was? No, I don't know what song they
want to I know I didn't. I looked up as
much as I could for this one. So the house
musician was like, yeah, cool, cool, Yeah, man, sure, you
just need to ask the owner if it's cool. And
I mean his name's Jim. He's right over there. You'd

(26:28):
ask him, he'll let you. No, Sebastian Bach didn't want
to go through all that hassle, right, so he said
he went back to his seat with his friends and
I guess they've been drinking a little bit already. Yeah maybe,
you know, they say they were going around the world
like annoying teenagers at this point. Either way, they decided
they'll get the bar owner to come over to them.
So they start pelting the house musician with ice cubes

(26:49):
from where they're seated, right, But this isn't a big place.
This isn't like a raucous dive bar. Just imagine a
small Canadian old town pub. Now the bar owner, he
does come over to their table, and he asked Sebastian
back to chill the f out, stop throwing ice cubes
at the house musician and heckling him, because they also
started heckling the kid who's just up there, like on

(27:09):
a stool with a guitar. At that point, Sebastian Bach
starts throwing ice cubes at the bar owner's face, who's
just right there in front of him. Like, I'm not
a rock star, Elizabeth. I've never been a rock star,
but I have to assume if I were a rock star,
I would know that throwing ice cubes at the some
house musician is not the way to get what I want. No, specifically,
I want to share the stage, kids working through the

(27:29):
Indigo girls cat out. Dude, I don't think ice cubes
are going to sway a Canadian bar owner anyway. The
bar owner's like, okay, time for you to go. So
at this point, real rockstar energy comes into play. Sebastian
Bach apparently decided to be the one who was offended,
so he's like, how dare you I am a former
lead singer of an eighties hair metal ban skin Row,

(27:52):
how dare you ask me to leave this premises? And
the bar owners like, you threw ice at my classical
guitar player. Get out? Yeah, so I don't know it
was a class guitar player. I just that's even better.
It's a classical guitar player.

Speaker 3 (28:04):
And he's just like doing all these like and then
he's like, my friend.

Speaker 2 (28:10):
Was to power ballad, you know eighteen in life. Now,
what I haven't told you up until now so they
wanted to save it is that this is all going
down in a wine bar. Wait, the Old Cube is
a wine bar?

Speaker 3 (28:26):
Yes, Oh my god, do they do like a sip
and paint thing.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
It gets better when Sebastian Bak takes issue with the owner.
He stands up with his wine glass and attempts to
swan out of the place, feeling all hurt and wounded.
So the bar owners like, you can't leave with that
glass of wine. Yeah, He's like he's doing his best
impression of Rihanna leaving with a glass of wine. But
he's like, when re Rey does it, it's like ultra cool.
When Sebastian Bak does it, just like me getting kicked

(28:51):
out of a bar in like a shopping mall in Florida,
it's just not nearly as cool. So it's like real
bad mammagama behavior.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Right.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
So, on his way to being escorted out the door,
Sebastian Bach asked himself what would a real rockstar do
in this moment of petulance, and then he did his
best impression of that. So he decides he will take
his unfinished glass of wine and throw it down at
the floor, like I'm leaving anyway. I don't need this.
So in an interview with the outlet Checks TV, which
I have to assumes a Canadian TV station and not

(29:19):
a media outlet for the fine makers of Checks partys
and cereals. But actually I did Checks. I thought you
may ask checks TV is a local TV station coming
out of Peterborough, Ontario in the north.

Speaker 4 (29:31):
Yeah, is it there like public Access? No, it's like
a local channel just like Czechoslovakian. I think they do
C for Canada. And then everything's just like three letters.
I don't know anywhere TV. The bar owner said, he
raised his hand and threw the wineglass with the wine
in it as hard as he could on the floor,
shattering it. So at that point the bar owner was
like grab him and then decided, if you want to

(29:52):
have a job done right, you have to do it yourself.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
Was it a buttery shard or a rob Imagine it's
a red, a robust red. Yeah, so maybe like a
like a uh maybe at Murlow. He seems like that
kind of guy to drink. I just like it.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
Maybe it's like a Pinot Grigio, like a light summer.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
One he likes to So at this point, the bar
owner goes and tackles Sebastian Bach before he gets out
the door so he can hold him for the police.
And as Sebastian Bach tells the story to Blabbermouth, I
ended up tackled up from behind. So the only thing
I could do, of course, was bite the dude. Oh
of course. So drunk and asked to leave. Clearly embarrassed,

(30:29):
he decides to raise the steaks to assault in some
light cannibal cosplay Rashshha. There's a video of the incident
that corroborates that that's pretty much exactly what happens. Or
you could take the word of Judd Smoke, who is
a friend of Sebastian Box Stop Judge, Stop suppress jud Smoke,
jud Smoke? Is he actually Jud's smirk? It's Judd's smoke.

(30:50):
I mean it could be like Smoke a Witz. I
don't know. He may be a longer name. I have
no idea. But he was there that night, and he
will tell you if you ask him, or if you
don't ask him, as he told me the outlets at
the time, everybody is painting bass in a bad light.
But he didn't do no attacking to no bar on
her as per se like I've seen on TV and
the internet. It was more than the other way around.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
I was there, Okay, so we need to go back
and test some grammar and mechanics. But also, was jud
Smoked the guy who was like, I want to sing
to my friend.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
I love it. I think it was. I think it
was a girl who was with him. Let's say it was.
Let's say it was.

Speaker 6 (31:30):
So.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
At this point, Sebastian Bach picks back up the story
and he says, you know, okay, I threw a glass
of wine on the ground because he kicked me out
of the bar. In my home town, you can go
to friendlies with your grandma and she could drop a
glass of water on the ground. Nobody tackles her. You
broke a glass? What the So that was his take

(31:50):
on the events.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
I think if you want to paint yourself as a
bad boy of rock and roll, you have to look
at like the pinnacle the version, and that's Keith Richards.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
Oh yeah, Like would Keith Richards do this and do
it this way? Keith would not do that. You can
even take a couple of steps down to Axel Rose
and be like, what, Axel.

Speaker 3 (32:09):
Do you know? He would be like, you're acting like
trash Keith Richards Like.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
No, no, no, she wouldn't even deign to talk to you.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
Exactly. They're not going to pull all this. This is
I'm right now. I am really up to my eyeballs
in like not being able to tolerate trash behavior. Oh yeah,
like fighting in public or mouthing off about don't act
like trash.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
Acting like you're in a reality TV. Yeah, but there's
no cameras. Yes, stop, Vladimir stop. So what was the
result of all this bad behavior and the old Town
pub and where Elizabeth Petersborough. So I got two words
for you, rabies test stop. What is happening? Sebast Jim

(32:53):
Bach told Blabbermouth I had to go and take a
rabies test to make sure I didn't have communicable diseases.
So we've talked about rabies because he bit the guy
so they had to go get a rais. He's a
dog that has to be tested for rabies. And you
and I have talked about rabies personally, like and I
just got to say that sounds like one of the
worst things I've ever heard about. And going up from rabies, I.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
Ruined your day slash months, life month, dude.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
The symptoms sounds like an old testament.

Speaker 3 (33:21):
There's someone left a comment somewhere on Reddit and if.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
You like search it like rabies like what happened.

Speaker 5 (33:28):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
I can't remember the search function I use.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
But it is like a detailed, moment by moment description
of what happens from the moment you're bitten.

Speaker 2 (33:35):
They don't know it.

Speaker 4 (33:36):
Yes, I read it a painful death and I'm horrified.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
I read it out loud to you and then I
forwarded it to other people.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
The whole fear of water is that is them. It
makes you irrationally afraid of water, so much so that
the rabies wants you to go out and die, so
that way scavengers will come along and eat your body
and then the rabies get spread. But it's it's a
genius alien virus. I hate it. Each each level of
it is just horrendous. It's one of the worst things

(34:07):
I've ever read.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
Yeah, I think I'll figure out a way that we
can put the links.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh my god, it's terrible. Yeah. So anyway, the owner
of the bar demands a Sebastian Bach get a rabies
test because he doesn't want this either, right, and you
know what, I don't blame him. So after he went
to the doctor, gods, he's walking around rabbit. Well, I mean,
one in a million is high enough for me. I
think you're more likely to get some sort of STV.
Oh yeah, much more likely, but you can get both, Elizabeth. So,

(34:35):
after he went to the doctor for his mandatory court
ordered rabies test, the Canadian American hair metal rocker proudly
proclaimed to the world, happy to say, I'm rabies free.
I'm not rabbit. So there you go. Sebastian Bach legally
declared not rabbit.

Speaker 3 (34:50):
I am so sorry for Canada and if you're one,
they're nice people.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
They don't deserve most of the rock stars that come
out of Canada, but Canada is like I don't just
come on. They're from Wisconsin, Neil Young, Nickelback, Chad Kroeger.
They're from Canada. Oh yeah. So if you were wondering
about him catching charges, the Courts Center Ontario decided to
drop the charges for the bite and the general ice

(35:13):
cube battery. Yes for justice. Sebastian Bach did donate seven
hundred dollars to charity as recompense for the broken wineglass.
What was the charity? I did not ask the Sebastian
box exactly. So there you go. That's your Sebastian Boch
fun for today. But you have one more story for
you about a Sebastian Bock as in the OG, Johann
Sebastian Boch, the guy. That guy also spent time inside

(35:37):
locked up and guests. There's just something about them back boys, Elizabeth.
So let's take a break after these messages. I'll tell
you about the OG bad Boy Sebastian Box, Elizabeth, We're back, hi,

(36:10):
and have I got a hell of a finisher for you?
I bet you do.

Speaker 3 (36:13):
So.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
I was doing some research, right and I had to
go hit up Wikipedia to find out Sebastian Bach's parents' names.
And at the top of his Wikipedia page is this
disambiguation note. You know, one of those sentences has this
article is about X for articles on why I see
this other person or whatever? Right well, on Sebastian Box
Wikipedia page is a disambiguation note, and he reads this
article is about the heavy metal singer for the baroque
composer see Johann Sebastian Bach, and I just want to

(36:36):
sit on the shoulder someone who's looking for info on
Johann Sebastian Bach and mistakenly reads Sebastian Box Wikipedia and
gets the two musicians confused. You're always telling people fun
facts about this genius, Sebastian Box. You know what's gonna happen.
You know what?

Speaker 4 (36:48):
He did a counterpoint chat gpt ais you have an
emergence scan that and then some ding dong fourth graders
he asked to write a report.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
On Johann Sebastian Box talking about to and he's gonna
go off on a wine bar brawl at the rabies
determination of the fourth grade teachers to be like, this
is why I'm.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
Quitting at the end of the year. I could just
see it. The whole movie is playing out in my
head right now. So this this is what I want
to tell you about the O. G. Bach, JS Bach,
Johann Sebastian, the real deal. Yeah. So primarily people in
the note say that Bach was a prolific composer, a
man who heard God in the notes of a clavichord.

(37:29):
His most famous works are the Takata and Fugue and
Reiner I mentioned that the brandon Burg Concertos, the Goldberg Variations,
the well tempered Clavier. The man was known to bust
out a corral at the drop of the hat. Right,
I mean, generous lover. He came from a family of musicians.
Keep that thought in mind. Oh God, he's chief among them.
The man eight slept and breathed music when he wasn't

(37:50):
being a generous level But also we treat him like
we treat all dead classical geniuses, as like a bit
of like an NPR listening fuddy. Right, and let me
tell you, Elizabeth, that could not be further from the
truth when it comes to Johann Sebastian Bach, namesake of
the hair Metal Frontman now the Og. Bach was born
in sixteen eighty five and he spent his prolific working

(38:12):
years in what would come to be called Germany. But
during his time there it was a patchwork of dukes
and duchies and mad princes. There was no Germany yet,
and as a working musician he had to bounce around
a bit dealing with these dukes and duchies and mad
princes while he was looking for a steady gig in
the courts. And his job seeking was made more difficult
by the fact that j. S. Bach was something of
a bad boy, and he's dealing with all these what

(38:35):
future Germans, right, they were like, we're not tense. So
he was not the white haired, sober minded Lutheran that
most folks would imagine. The conductor John Elliott Gardner he
wrote a biography of the composer, and he commented on
this character of Bach, the subversive as he called him,
and he said that we need to reimagine the man
because quote suppose in said, we start to view him

(38:55):
as an unlikely rebel. Oh yeah, exactly thought thought well
in mind, which is certainly something you know. I would
say this about any teacher who fights his students, or
a proud young man who gets locked up for a
month because he bristles at the power structure of his day.
That's JS block. Also apparently a thirsty fella. Back went
on a two week trip and he came back and

(39:16):
he handed over receipts from his travel. He could get
recompensed by the church for his travel expenses. So Back
charged the church a ton for all the beer he
was drinking two week trip. Right. He drank eight gallons
of beer during that two week trip in two weeks. No,
I did the conversion math for you, because I know
I love conversions. I do. There's one hundred and twenty
eight fluid ounces per gallon. He did eight of those,

(39:38):
So he worked that out. Eight is two to the third,
one hundred and twenty eight is two to the seventh
at the exponent exponents, and then that's a oneenty twenty four. Right,
So if you divided that, calculate he divide that by
twelve ounces, which is the amount of fluid a beer
in a can. That works out to be about eighty
five and a third beers. Now, if you divide that
by fourteen days, which means he's drinking every single day

(39:59):
the same eight Monday through Sunday, that's an average of
six beers a day every day of his fourteen day trip.
So he's drunk on Sunday tips everything. So thank god
he also had beer added to one of his contracts
of employment. Those are the beers that he bought, yes, exactly,
he was the one that other people bought for him, exactly.
So yeah, so Bach apparently made sure there was a
stipulation in his contract that so he had access to

(40:22):
tax free beer, and not just any beer. He demanded
the pilsners and loggers from the castle's brewery. He wanted
the good stuff. What's the Prince dring? That's what I
want on ryding Heid School Bolton stuff. So he wasn't,
by the way, when he wasn't maintaining his buzz. Apparently
Bach was also remembered to meet young ladies for a
rendezvous and the organ loft. I think they said that

(40:43):
his organ had no stops. Oh, can'd invite them up
there to check the pipes. So exactly how did young
JS bock wind up behind bars? How did you fantastic question? Elizabeth? Well,
the year was seventeen o eight. I remember it was
I thought you did, right, JS bock Cock Shuer twenty
three year old musical Theenom. He'd been hired as the

(41:03):
court organist for the city of Wymar, as in the
city that would later be known as the name provider
for the Wymar Republic or Wymar you prefer it that way? Yes, anyway,
the young bach is hired to play the organ right,
and he's good. No one has any complaints about the
ser fingers on the lasts six years in the Vymar
court and he's eventually appointed as the Concertmeister. That's concert

(41:26):
with a K and a Z in the middle of it.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
What it means is the forgotten name of a Ski album.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
So this means is he's the music director of the court.

Speaker 5 (41:37):
Right.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
So this also means he's now responsible for composing original
works for a talented ensemble of musicians. However, this also
means he has to take orders from his not one,
but two bosses, the kapell Meister and the vice copel Meister. Okay,
and I know what those roles are because I love
the movie Amadais. But the kapel Meister is the main
conductor of the orchestra or the ensemble musicians. So the

(41:57):
big boss, the guy whoused to stand there and waved
the baton. Yeah, this case, it was a father and
son acte. Yeah, because of the seventeen hundreds and more
oft than that, men went into the family Businessmick. So
he's got his like, you know, he's got his fail
son as his vice Coppelmeister. And then the Kapellmeister dies
and his failed son takes over and js back loses it.
He's like, because anybody who has ears to hear the

(42:18):
beauty of his music knows that the job should go
to js Buck. This is He's just like, it's insulting otherwise, right,
and he certainly knew this. So to make matters worse,
he thought the vice Copelmeister was just an abject failure
as a person and as a man. So he didn't
respect him to like him. And so what does he do, Well,
the bad boy of the seventeen hundreds, he's got he's

(42:38):
got to step out, right, Yeah, he's got to get
free of this. So he does he starts circulating his
curriculum vita, his musical resume. He's like, would you like
to read this? Check this out, I've got this on parchment,
vellm whatever you like, And he's able to scoop up
a new gig right at the end of the summer
seventeen seventeen, he's named the Kapellmeister of the Court of
Prince Leopold of the State of Cuttin. Right now, there

(42:59):
was one person who could stop him from taking his
new job. His old boss, a man named Wilhelm Ernst
but Elizabeth, you would call him the Duke of Saxon Weimar,
and he was an intolerant Lutheran man. His brother was
the co Duke, but he was such a drunk. He
was only co Duke in name. Only everybody knew oh
yeah yeah. And when his brother passed he got a

(43:21):
new co Duke. It was like a whole power sharing.
The Germans didn't want anyone have too much power. It's
why they stayed apart in all their old duchies for
so long. Anyway, Wilhelm Ernst he holds power and as
such he hears this young star concertmeister plans to leave
his court and find better employment. Elsewhere with Prince Leopold.
Right after this slight of watching this idiot son take
a job that rightfully should go to him, so he decides, well,

(43:44):
I'm going to teach this young js Bock how things
go down and sacks Viymar so he rejects box resignation.
He teaches him a lesson in power politics and tells him, see, no, baby,
you ain't going nowhere. He baby you and me, but
he says like in German right, But my man, js Bock,
he's stubborn, he's hard headed, he's young. So he kept
at it. He kept trying to resign and the Duke

(44:07):
was like, I thought you had good is baby. You
ain't hearing me. You ain't going nowhere, but again like
in German right. So finally, in November, when he should
have been preparing his Christmas Mass program at his new gig,
js Bock is absolutely losing it like he was losing
it before. Now it's erupting from his skin. Right. I
wish I could tell you who he popped off at.

(44:28):
I don't know, but we do know that he popped
off in the court of the Duchy and everyone was like,
oh no, because young hot headed Bock just was like
basically yelling fire me, fire me, fire me, which, by
the way, my friend Dave once did exactly this at
dream Works until Jeffrey Katzenberg was like, Okay, fine, I
fire you, you can go. So this behavior still goes

(44:51):
on today, is what I'm saying. And Dave would be
amused that I just compared him to JS Box, So
rip Dave. Anyway, back to js Bock and Duke Wilhelm
Ernst and they're out of stubbornness so young back he
goes ham in the court a saxsify mar and Duke
will Hummers is like, you do know I have my
home prison, right baby? So js Bock gets to know
the Fortress prison firsthand, up close personal. He gets to

(45:12):
know the feel of the cold damp stones and guess
what my man does once he's locked up. He's like, cool, cool,
I still want to resign. Yeah, just keeps pushing it right,
So he tries to wait out the Duke's anger, and
it's like he hopes that he'll find some like new
something else to get him mad about and eventually let
him go. That does not happen, So Back is like,
well kind of these gets some work done, americ, can
he bring me some pens and paper and something ink?

(45:33):
And the Duke is like, he's belligerent, but he's not
like a capricious man, so he's like, give him some
pens and paper. So at this point js Bock writes
a good piece of the well tempered Clavier.

Speaker 5 (45:42):
Yeah right.

Speaker 2 (45:43):
So more time passes, Jasbock is writing up his masterpiece.
The Duke is flexing his power on him. After like
a week, the Duke is like, has the concertmister changed
his mind yet? And the jailers would go and ask
him in jsboc and'd be like, hell, no, I haven't
fired me. And then the dude, wut hear this? He'd
be like that little okay, well he can stay in there.
Maybe he get his mind right. And then more time passes,

(46:03):
the Duke would get curious and ask if the concertmeister
had to change into thinking yet, and the jailers would
ask him and he would change his mind and he'd
be like, I need more pens and paper but no,
and oh, by the way, tell the Duke to fire me.
So the Duke would hear this and be like ha,
and he'd like throw like a pork leg across the
room in anger or whatever. Right, Now, keep in mind
back is young, he's thirty two, and he's also super

(46:24):
about that bedlife. So he's got six kids, a wife
at home, whoa, and he's locked up in a prison
fortress for a month and doesn't know when it's gonna end. Yes,
still doesn't give in. I impressed it, but that anyway. Finally,
after a month of this, the Duke is like, is
that catjs box still counting him on the living And
everyone's like, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah he is. And he's like, okay, cool,
we should let him out. I mean, I've changed my mind.

(46:47):
He's stubborn. I don't think we're gonna break him. He's
really ruin in the mood in my court. Let him go.
So they let him go, and I was like, all right, December.
After a month inside jailers turn him loose, right, and
he finally accepts of resignation. Now he can leave. So
js Bach has sprung for the pen. He swoops up
his brew to kids, his young wife, He splits town.
He heads to a new home in anhalt curtain right

(47:10):
I mentioned earlier, Yeah, now that's where he would go
on to write a Brandenburg concertos and do all the
famous stuff. But I mentioned earlier how he, as a
young man, also fought his students as their teacher. Yeah,
when he was first starting out, before he was the
concertsmeister at the Weimar Court, Bach was a music teacher,
just a normal music teacher. Trouble for him was he
was eighteen years old, dang, so his students were barely

(47:32):
younger than him. Some are actually older than him, and
they often were bigger than him, so he got very
used to them not treating him with the appropriate amount
of respect that he at least expected. Consequently, Bach wasn't
a big fan of his students. So also he's his
hot headed musical phenom and he's stuck teaching know nothings
how to like not sound terrible on the harpsichord. Yeah,
so he just hates it right, And some of his

(47:53):
students were known hard cases, so much so that the
local city council referred to his students as scandalous. They
are in the like, oh, that's the scandalous students over
at such and such. Yeah, So for two years he's
teaching this hard scrabble lot of n'er dowells and they've
taken to making fun of him outside of class because
they don't like him. And the students have all these
taunting nicknames for their young teacher. They see them out,

(48:13):
they follow him, they harass him because it's like, what
are you gonna do outside of class? You can't do
anything outside of class? Right once again, but in German. Yeah,
so it gets so bad that young Bok starts carrying
a blade on him. It's only a matter of time
until the inevitable occurred. The worst among the students, both
in behavior and in musical talent, was a cat named
geiers Bach. Yeah, and so there's three years older than Bach.

(48:35):
He's the main bully of the bunch. He was also
a bassoonist. Just thought I should throw that in there, bassonists.
One night, geiers Bach is out with the boys, and
who do they see but young Bach out for an
evening constitutional with his cousin Barbara Katharina. They're in the
town's market square, so the center of town, and that's
where geiers Back the boys is laying about and they
spot their teacher Bock come into the town square, and

(48:55):
so what do they do? They go harass him in
the town square, only this time geyers Bach grabs like
a big stick, like a broken piece of tree branch,
and he storms over to Bach. And this cat, geyers
Bach is bigger than Bach, and I'm guessing he's also
like had a few. So Geyer's Bach gets in box
face and he spits all these angry hot words and
if they have like an ignorant tone. He's like, if

(49:16):
I have you been making abusive remarks about me? Teach
you right? And Bach can sense the trouble le bruin,
so he lies and he says, no, no, never, I
would never make abusive remarks about you. Whoever told you
that he's a liar? Right? And so Geyer's Bach is like, okay,
well maybe that's maybe true, but you've insulted my bassoon playing,
and anyone who insults my bassoon insults me. So Bach

(49:36):
is like, whoa chill guyers back, man, come on, But
he's not hearing it, and he's not hearing it so
much so that it explodes into this event. Well, rather
than me just tell you about Elizabeth, I'd like you
to close your eyes and I want you to picture it.
It's a pleasant summer evening in the walled town of

(49:58):
Arntstat in the Dutch of Thuringia in what will later
be eastern central Germany. At the moment, you are enjoying
the sweet summer evening breeze as children gamble about the
town square, running off their excess energy. As elders gather
in small clusters on the edge, watching the exuberance of
youth with their wizened smiles. You are in the middle,
neither child nor elder. You are an adult of working age,

(50:21):
specifically the town's best bookmaker. You are well regarded for
your artistry, and you make a living turning out beautiful
gilded editions of beloved classics and new books penned by
Thuringia's finest minds. You were on your walk home when
you decided to stop and buy a small bowl of
zweibelsupa and a slice of poppy seed strudel and sit

(50:42):
for a short spell to enjoy the transition into evening.
But the pleasant evening vibe is about to be shattered
by a local thug, a bassoon player named geyers Block.
You don't see how it began, but you hear it escalate.
You set down your cup of onion soup and your Strudel,
and you turn your attention to the developing scene. See
the much larger man, the local thug and bassoon player

(51:02):
Geyer's Back, is brandishing some sort of large stick and
threatening the young music teacher, Johann Sebastian Bach. You hear
geyers Back shout as his teacher, you dirty dog. Then
he swings the branch with the clear aim to knock
his teacher's head loose from his shoulders. But Bach is
no young ninny. He reaches into his overcoat and draws

(51:23):
out a knife. He lets the bully bassoonist see the
blade's cool, steely reflection as it catches a glint of moonlight.
Being ignorant as he is, Geyer's back charges in with
the broken tree branch. It takes a few more slings.
Young Bach lets that blade sing in the air. He
jabs and stabs as he dodges the angry bassoonist tree branch.

(51:45):
You gasp when you see Bach thrust with his dagger
at the midsection. Tryers back. The blade is lost in
his overcoat and does not draw back. Bloody. It misses
the bully bassoonist by a mere inch or two. Geyers
Back tosses down his bro can tree branch and he
tackles Bock around the mid section. The two young men
crash against the cobblestone in the market. They continue to

(52:08):
wrestle and to throw blows. At this point other men
and passers by rush into the scene to separate the two.
Before Bob kills the bully bassoonist Geyer's back, the crowd
pulls the two young men part. If you feel a
wave of relief, you watch as the hot head back
gets up, brushes himself off. His cousin Barbara Katherina helps

(52:28):
him dust off, and then they go on about their walk.
A few of his students, Geyers box crew have to
hold the bully bassoonists back long enough for the music
teacher and his cousin to leave the market square. You
sigh to yourself, just another night in downtown Arnstadt. Since
he loved arguing before a court or a prince or

(52:49):
a duke jays, Boch did not let this matter go
on that evening attack, so instead he had his cousin
Barbara Katherina come with him and be the star witness
as he brought the matter before the town council of Arnstadt,
and speaking on his own behalf was geyers Back, and
he spoke up for his actions that fateful evening. Now,
geiers Back said that his anger was understandable since, on

(53:09):
more than one occasion, in front of others in the
youth music ensemble, his teacher jab s Bach had called
him quote a nanny goat bassoonist. So the argument did
not sway the town council, but they also ruled that
no punishment was necessary. Kind of mixed bag of justice,
no harm, no fault decision, I suppose. Anyway, the town
council did instruct the music teacher to try to win

(53:31):
over his students so that way they didn't feel that
they have to assault him in the town square. Anyway.
Those are a few choice moments from the life of
rebel bad boy Johann Sebastian Bach, which just goes to
show you, Elizabeth, whether it's Sebastian Bach of skid Row
or Johann Sebastian Bach, sometimes you're gonna get tackled for
being a hothead, and that's just what happens when your
name Bach Sebastian Bach. Centuries may separate them, but their

(53:55):
names and their public's reaction to their musical genius is
the same. Some would tackle that guy anyway, and people
always watching out they have that same reaction. What the
buck is going on? So what's our ridiculous takeaway? Here? Elizabeth?
Always ask yourself, what would Keith Richards do? That's a
good rule. I'm gonna get you that a shirt. What's
your ridiculous takeaway? People have been the same forever. You

(54:17):
should remember that when we're looking backwards to time. Yeah,
you should remember that when we're looking at each other presently,
remember that when we're looking forward at the future, people
will always be the same. There's nothing new under the sun,
just new technology here and there, but back to back
people are mostly the same. You're in the mood for
a talk box, Producer, D, what you got for us?

(54:39):
Oh my god, I love.

Speaker 6 (54:47):
Hey, producer D. Elizabeth and Sarah. My name's Jennifer. I'm
calling from Miami, Florida, and I just heard your episode
about the mass characters and the crimes. They admitted the
reason why the University of Miami their mascot is the
ibis is because it is the last bird to leave

(55:09):
before hurricane and the first one to come back.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
There.

Speaker 6 (55:13):
You go have a great day.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Oh, that's cool. That's do to know. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (55:17):
That is really cool. I'd love to learn something a
strong skinny leg bird.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
It's a good symbol too, yes, resilience and yeah, exactly,
I love it. Well. Thank you for leaving that and
for thank you for sharing. Yeah, thank you. You can
always find us online Ridiculous Crime on our social medias
and you can go to the iHeart app, download it
and leave a talkback like we just heard. We love those.
Please do that. And also we have our new Ridiculous
Crime Pod account on YouTube, so go to Ridiculous Crime

(55:44):
Pod and you can find it. I've said it wrong
in the past, so there you go. That's the correctly expressed. Also,
you can email us if you like a Ridiculous Crime
at gmail dot com. Please start your email, dear producer
d thank you for listening and we will catch you
next crime. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and

(56:06):
Zarin Brunette, produced and edited by the lead singer of
the cover band Bachan Black, Dave Constein, and starring Les
Rutger as Judah. Research is by Sebastian Bach's former hairspray consultant,
Marissa Brown. Our theme song is by the bond Jovi
to Our skid Row Thomas Lee and Travis Debt. The
host wardrobe provided by Botany five hundred guest Hara, makeup

(56:27):
by Sparkleshot and Mister Under. The executive producers are Richie Sambora,
Truther Ben Bolan, and former Team be cover photographer the
man who invented the AquaNet hairspray fan Noel Brown. Why

(56:48):
Say It one More Times?

Speaker 5 (56:50):
Crime?

Speaker 1 (56:52):
Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeart Radio four more podcasts.
My heart Radio visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows.