August 18, 2022 • 43 mins
Join us for this week's weekly roundup where Bill's joined by incredible comedian and guest co-host Sam Gordon (IG: @whatsamjustsaid)! We talk about if we'd take a full time candy taste tester job, the reality of Manatee Orgies, amazing dog rescue operations, and more! We even include tips for if you want to stage your own dog rescue!
Check out our comedy videos @markkendallcomedy, learn more about Sam Gordon at samgordoncreative.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous News as a production of I Heart Radio and
Cool Cool Cool Audio. Yeah yeah, yeah, we're amazing and
crazy topics. To begin to choose, you would now done
the antio ridiculous News, we can't us their views are
working the rules of broadcasts. Then m all sorts awhile
be course that she was lasting a brand of beat journalism,
(00:22):
the strange and unusual stories, and well we give them
when it's all about ridiculous news. Everywhere we told about
ridiculous News over here. Hello everyone, Welcome to Ridiculous News,
not your average news show. We cover stuff you didn't
realize was news from the wild and funny, to the
deep and hidden to the absolutely ridiculous. I'm Bill Whorley
and a Land based filmmaker. I'm a comedian and this
(00:42):
weekend I was in Piedmont Park and I actually caught
a couple of free concerts, including a band called Acid
Dad that I had never heard of from New York
and they are not surprisingly a psychedelic, crunch rock band.
I'm not sure if your Dad would like him or not.
Mark is out today. He's filming on the other side
of the country, and I'm so excited to have a
(01:03):
wonderful guest co host and friend, Sam Gordon. Sam is
an amazing stand up originally from Chicago. She was traditionally
raised on a steady diet of hot dogs, and most
of Sam's youth was spent performing in local theater, usually
in the role of someone's evil stepmother. She cut her
teeth at the Second City, featured for comedians such as
(01:25):
Michael Ian Black and Shane Moss, and produced secret comedy
shows for Don't Tell Comedy in Atlanta. She's written amazing
original scripts. I've had the pleasure of filming some of
those with her, and she's a member of the Writer's
Guild of America. She currently produces shows, offers creative consulting
and Jesus comedy writing through her business Whinney Peach Comedy.
(01:48):
That's Windy Peach Comedy. Sam, Welcome, Welcome to the podcast.
Thank you so much for co hosting with me today.
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for having me Bill.
How exciting. Yeah, yeah, it's so great. It's it's great
that you agree to do this. It's always great to
see you perform. You always uh, you know, we do
a thing called giving them their flowers. With every guest
that we have, so I'll do a brief giving of
(02:10):
your flowers. You don't need to return the favor, but
you've been such a pleasure to watch throughout the years.
From when you were doing on uh it was Last
or Good Evening Tonight and an amazing writer and performer
on that show. We've been able to work on sketches together.
You're always so funny on screen and also just so prepared.
(02:31):
And you know, there's a lot of comedians that are
kind of all over the place. You're always such a
good writer. You always bring such great ideas, and you're
always when you're on stage, you're always talking from such
a place of vulnerability that it really, you know, brings
the audience in. It's just so refreshing to watch, um.
And so I'm just excited to have you here today. Sam, Well,
(02:52):
thank you so much. What wonderful what wonderful flowers to
be given. Um. I really appreciate that we really have
known each other for a minute. It's so funny too
look back on the last years and realize, oh, it's
not just a few, it's like a couple of added
up you know, it's wild. I've done quite a few
things quite a few things together, and I really appreciate
just all the different ways that we've been able to
(03:14):
collaborate and and rub elbows in the comedy scene. There's
been so many different times that like I just run
into you and I'm so happy to see you. You're
always out supporting shows and you put out such cool things.
What a what a fun relationship that we were given here. Huh. Yeah,
Like I should have stopped you because I'm not supposed
to get flowers, but I took some. I took a
couple of well I took a little of them too.
They were both of us. You know, I'll share. But yeah,
(03:37):
that was great. Yeah, And today is a weekly round
up episode, so we're just gonna be talking about headlines
that caught our eyes recently. And we'll start off with
our ridiculous news nipples. Um And this first one is interesting.
It's that from NPR you can actually get paid to
eat candy as a Canadian company's chief candy officer. It's
(03:58):
a different way to say CCO. I USh, I can
see see me in that. Well a lot of people do. Yeah.
So so the description on LinkedIn read do you love
all Things candy and chocolate. Are you passionate about confectionery
treats and exploring unreleased and existing products. This is the
(04:19):
perfect position. It's an Ontario based company and it pays
one hundred thousand dollars in Canadian dollars, which is about
seventy eight grand in US dollars. Uh, it's a good
time to go to Canada. But the job can be
remote and it's based either in Canada or it's New
(04:39):
Jersey offices. Um. And it says here that the Cheap
Candy officer will serve as a head taste tester and
try over thirty five hundred products each month, which is
about a hundred and thirteen pieces of candy a day.
And that's just I don't know. That just makes my
mouth hurt. I feel like much you're gonna get sores.
(05:02):
You're gonna get as you come with a dental plan.
That's my first question. Actually, the physician specifically says it
comes with an extensive dental plan because they're going to
poison you right right exactly, like you're gonna your teeth
are gonna be falling out, and the other the other
(05:24):
thing I love about this this article is I don't
know that the LinkedIn uh add for this says it,
but in MPR they felt it necessary to mention that
you can get type two diabetes UM and your right
heart disease from eating more than ten percent of your
calory intake from candy. Yeah, I mean really, I mean
(05:46):
it sounds like a whimsical, a doult really walk a situation,
but realistically, it's like the It's like another version of
that Super Size Me documentary. It's like if of candy
and day first three weeks, what happens You're like, oh no, right, yeah,
that guy almost died. That was art, so it was
(06:07):
worth it. Um, that's so crazy. Wow. I would love
to see the details of the healthcare plan and how
they how they verbalize, right, yeah, like what is an
extensive dental plan? You know, maybe you get an extra
doctor for that, right exactly. Well that leads us into
(06:28):
this next story, which is not a direct tie in,
but it is from The Daily Beast and also the
Tampa Bay News. Uh. The Daily Piece reported this story
in my favorite way, which was that Florida cops begged
people to stop interrupting manatee orgies. That's right on Sunday afternoon.
(06:49):
Please please calm down, there's nothing to see here. Uh.
The Sara Sota Police Department stated that there were some
looky lose who were attempting to touch a group of
manatees near the South Liedo Beach because it's officially manatee
mating season in Florida and local officials are asking people
not to put body parts non descriptive near or within
(07:15):
what's referred to as a mating herd or more disturbingly,
a mating ball. Oh the bell of the mating ball. Manatee?
Will it be? They're all just waiting to see I
don't know why when I hear manatee orgy, I'm just
not surprised that that's how manatees make. This makes sense. Well,
(07:37):
you know, I also kind of get the vibe of
the manatees. They're kind of laid back and lazy, so
it seems like they would, you know, let's all pencil
that in together. Let's just get that done and then
we can go back to grazing. Do you guys want
to just get together on the fifth and bang this
out and then move on. That's what I feel like
it's happening. But also the fact that it's at South
Liedo Beach. I'm immediately thinking Libido Beach, and I'm like,
(08:00):
what do they expect? You know, right, if you name
something Libido beach, you might have That's what the manities
are going to pencil it in because we're thinking, yeah,
and the manage orgy and the manatee orgy community. That's code.
I think manatees are so like they call them the
sea cows, right, they seem like such friendly creatures, and
(08:23):
like you said, I think they're going to put out
the least amount of energy possible, and this just makes
the most efficient way to just make a bunch of
baby manatees. Let's just get all these katies out of here.
You know, it's so funny. Well, apparently appairly also is
um It's it's illegal to touch, annoy, harass, or molest
(08:48):
amanity according to the Enangered Speeches. You should hope so
on the last one. But my goodness, well no, but
it makes sense. I mean I saw recently I was
in North Carolina and they had an area of the
beach that was blocked off because it's worth some birds
like to nest and do their their thing, and it's like,
you know what, don't disturb them. This is the Bird
Motel for where they you know, get together. Um, but yeah,
(09:13):
I just I'm curious about the people who are disturbing
the manatees because I want to believe that they're just
like really ignorant and they don't realize what they're interrupting,
and they are just they're they're they're human. Hubris is
urging them forward. But if they know what they're interrupting,
I mean I couldn't. I couldn't tell you anything that
would keep me further from the beach. Then the phrase
(09:35):
manatee orgy, I say you, I will see you in
the spring. I will come back next year. I will
not be back any kind of beach orgy. I'm not.
I'm not coming to that right because because that just
you get in the water and maybe you brush it
up against seaweed or something, and it's a whole different vibe,
it's a whole different jump scare, you know. I just
(09:55):
I hate to be an inconvenient to anyone. Heaven forbid
that I interrupt this this thing that they've clearly been planning,
you know, for EON's. It's their their annual meet up.
I don't want to get in the way of the Manatees.
You know, they rarely get in my way. That only
seems fair well. Moving on to Old Miss, which is
(10:19):
a direct correlation from I think the Manatee orgies. Um
Lane Kiffin, the coach at Old Miss. Apparently Old Miss,
the football team's coach, found their new punter at a
keg party on campus, which I realized sounds like the
National Lampoons plot, but it really happens. Um, they were
(10:39):
lacking at the punter position and took a visit to
fraternity row to see if any of the guys could
kick a football, and they found it, and a guy
named Charlie Pollock then that this quote from Lane Kiffin too,
just such a head coach quote, but this is his
quote is I don't know a whole lot about him.
I think he's down on the frat house, like at
(11:01):
a CAG party. That's where they got them. So we
have the condition to work to do work with this guy.
But we just said, hey, someone go find a punterer,
and uh, you know, you never know, someone just go
find me a strong fella. Just see if there's a
(11:21):
strong fellow with no extracurriculars on his schedule, like the
way that SEC schools because I went to U g A.
You know, the way that they treat the football teams
and the coaches especially. I remember when I was at
school at U t A. They had a budget kind
of lockdown because the budget was tight for whatever reason
(11:44):
back in the early two thousand's, and so they weren't
allowed to print us papers. But they did like build
a whole new like part of the facility for the Yeah,
there's no surprise there, and I mean and there, And
that's for a collegiate team that has some kind of
cloud in history. Meanwhile, my high school in suburban Chicago,
(12:04):
one year, our our theater group, we didn't get to
go to the Illinois Theater Festival that year to perform
because they allocated some extracurricular funds to repaint the bleachers
outside the football field. So they said go see Quoints,
which the whole that ended up being a whole issue.
We end up having to paint over it because we
(12:25):
were named after a tribe that we weren't supposed to
be named after. It was the whole thing. But nonetheless, um,
I know this story well. In our team, I mean,
they were just a couple of real average boys. They
were not doing anything, but boy did we have to
put some pretty bleachers for him. That is so funny
(12:46):
because so yeah, for this guy to get scooped up
into that culture, that is a national lampoon movie. Stay tuned, heal,
We're going to take a quick break to hear a
word from our sponsor. Would amazing and crazy tool dance
(13:09):
a ridiculous news? All right? For our main course today,
we're talking about dogs and some amazing stuff to do
with dogs. Not specifically pick this out because Sam is
a huge advocate for dogs and all kinds of animals. Um,
and I'm a big fan of dogs too, of course
I know some of our listeners maybe as well. Uh Sam,
Actually I recently saw you, Sam doing a show, hosting
(13:31):
a show at Fetch Dog Park, which is a really
cool dog park here in Atlanta, Georgia. That is, I mean,
it's kind of swanky. It's like this outdoor dog park
with astro turf and they have a couple of bars,
and you know, people can pay to bring their dogs
and meet people. Um, how's it been doing those shows?
(13:53):
It is such a bizarre controlled chaos. It's so funny
because the show you know, the show Fatch has existed
for a few years of the old Fourth World location,
now Fetch as several locations around Atlanta. They're doing great, um,
But the show has been handed down from a few
across like a few different comedians, and so I've performed
on it a few times over the years, but only
(14:14):
just in this last few months when you saw it, Um,
I had. I just started hosting it and running it
with Windy Peach, and it's I you know, I thought
that I knew what I was getting into having performed
on it, but running it's honestly a whole different gambit
because I really didn't even think about how chaotic it
is setting up. But there's dogs everywhere. That is so
funny because they really do add to this kind of
(14:36):
fun like improvised element of the show though, because people
tend to interact and it gets people's ideas going, and
I don't know, it just creates a really cool um
icebreaker between the comedian and the audience because it's like, lookay,
we already have this in common. We're here with all
these dogs, you know. So it's it's honestly a much
better contribution than you would think. It's more helpful than
(14:57):
it is chaotic, but it is super chaotic. Sometimes look
out into the audience and there's just dogs running around. Yeah,
I think you know it's funny because when I saw
it too, I think there's some stand ups that react
a little bit better, or at least, you know, they
more play off the dogs. And sometimes you can tell
where they're just completely kind of oh my god, there's
a pretend this isn't happening. I'm pretend this isn't happening.
(15:20):
It is interesting to book and realize that, you know,
not everyone's a big fan, and I honestly, I normally
wouldn't be like such a I wouldn't like gravitate personally
towards hanging out in a dog park. Socially that wouldn't
be me. I love dogs, but I specifically love my dog,
and like, you know, the idea of dogs more than
I want like a dog touching me that I don't know,
(15:42):
but um it is. It is funny to see people
different people's levels, because then some people show up some
comics and they just love it. They're kissing every dog there,
and you're like, wow, you're into this. Huh right right, Yeah,
this is the thing. Yeah, I love, I'll always pet talks.
I don't know if i'd get down kiss and dogs
stop that might be slightly too Yeah. Yeah. Just you
(16:05):
know one of my good friends, Ronnie, who have been
trying to convince to get a dog for most of
most of the time that I've known him. Um, he
is a great guy. But he was always great, always
been great to my dogs. But he always has this
thing where he's like, you know what, I love petting
a dog, but I've never pet a dog where I
didn't feel like I needed to immediately wash my hands afterwards.
(16:26):
I mean that's accurate, is right. It's like, oh my gosh, well,
well there's this. So this this main story that I
have in here is about a hundred acre, no cage,
no kill dog shelter that's opening in Alabama, Big Dog
Ranch Rescue, UM, which just sounds really interesting. A hundred
acres is just so massive, especially when you think about
(16:49):
you know, like the humane shelters here in Atlanta, and
I know you've been there before. Is nowhere to hear
that space. Um. It's actually the former home of a
gray hound training facility UH in Shorter in Making County,
and will serve as rescue, rehabilitation, medical and adoption center. UM.
The CEO said the facilities desperately needed that you know,
(17:12):
record numbers of dogs are being brought to shelters, resulting
in overcrowding and a record youth in Asia rate for
these former family pets. And there's also you know, higher
costs with inflation from fuel to food, and that's prompting
people unfortunately to surrender their dogs. UM. They said that
this new property will actually allow them to save an
(17:32):
additional five thousand dogs every year, which is amazing. Wow,
it's a lot. It's incredible. I think a lot of
people assume that when dogs are in a shelter or
dogs dat a new home, it's because they've been lost
or they were straight there's something something wrong with them.
But you know, it is true, especially in this last
few years, by and large, animals are owners surrendered because
(17:55):
of circumstances UM that you know, unfortunately coming to people's lives.
Uh and and so to have a resource for that
and to provide just it's like they're nice family dogs.
Not to say that every dog isn't nice, but you know,
there is this assumption that if a dog doesn't have
a home, there must be a good reason or something
happened or it never had one, and that simply isn't
the truth. So it's just nice to see that, particularly
(18:16):
here in the Southeast, where the numbers are really staggering
compared to the rest of the country. We have way
more homeless pets than anywhere else. Yeah, what do you
think that is? You know, I wonder if it's a
poverty thing. Yeah, I think it's a combination of things,
for sure. I think it is a poverty thing. I
think there is also a general mentality not to paint
the Southeast as inherently, um, you know, more country, because
(18:40):
it's not. I mean here we are in Atlanta, we
know that. I mean, so much of the Southeast is
very much heavily urbanized. But um, you know, I do
think that there is a little bit of a different
um mentality behind how people keep pets. I think you
do see more people keeping pets on neutered here in
the South then, Like I was like, coming from Chicago, Oh,
(19:00):
I don't. I couldn't tell you unless it was a
you know, a dog they were breeding for specific purposes,
like a show dog. I don't know anyone with an
un neuter dog. But here, I mean tons of people
keep their dog on neuter just because they want to
like let them be free. And you're like, yeah, but
if he gets out, he'll really do a lot. Uh
you know what I mean, it's just not worth it. Um.
(19:21):
And so there is a little bit of different mentality
around Spain neuter. And I think also, I know, specifically
for Atlanta, I mean, the the dog issue and the
way that we handle our stray animals for the county
only recently changed in this last twenty years when Lifeline
Animal Shelters as a nonprofit took over the contract for
the city and really started to focus on providing services
(19:44):
in this sort of like support net kind of addressing
the issues that we're talking about, you know, addressing poverty,
addressing resource issues, addressing like people who need someone to
read home a pet or you know, behavioral issues so
they don't have to read home it, they get the
help they need to retrain their dog, providing dog runs,
all those sorts of things that that resource really only
existed in the last twenty years and it only really
came full forest probably in the last ten. So I
(20:06):
think that's another issue too, it's been like a pervasive
problem for much longer, and then I think the issue
of the pandemic probably exacerbated it. Um. But yeah, it is,
it's just a little bit different, and I think it's
an issue that um, not everyone realizes is an issue
until you like go into a shelter and you look around.
I know I didn't until I decided to start fostering,
(20:27):
and then my eyes really got opened right right, And
you were mentioning the other day, I saw a show
that you know, there's some uh kennels and and the
for lack of their way to say that the cages
that they put the dogs in where you know, normally
that's one dog to a single spot and and now
there could be like three or four dogs kind of clean.
(20:50):
Yeah yeah, I mean recently here in Atlanta, like Fulton County, Um,
just they just got a new facility. It's a nice facility.
There's a part of the belt line is right next
to it. It's once everything is all completed with the
bell line, it's gonna be a really great asset to
the to the shelter. UM. But even in this great
new facility they have, you know, the capacity is for
eighty dogs at a time, and they have almost like
(21:12):
four hundred dogs in Fulton County alone. They had they
had almost like five or six hundred dogs between Fulton
and Decab recently. Um, and those numbers just keep going up. It's,
you know, for every you know, ten dogs that get adopted,
like twenty dogs come in and it's it's just really overwhelming.
UM and so. And I think part of that too
(21:32):
is also just about connecting people with resources to understand
like what do you do when you find a lost
pet and how do you know? The advice they give
is to keep it for forty eight hours and look
around the neighborhood, talk to your neighbors see if you
can reconnect them with their owner. Because most dogs get
lost within a mile of their own home, so by
removing them and bringing them to the shelter, you've actually
taken them further from home more often than not, and
(21:54):
it just creates a harder time connecting them. If the
dog isn't microchipped, you know, which is a nothing to
get pets micro chip, to get your dog registered so
if it gets lost, we can reunite you easily. Things
like that. So, UM, I think it's about connecting people
with these other resources so the dogs don't end up
in the shelter in the first place. UM, is kind
of the goal. But yeah, right now things are so overloaded,
(22:16):
um that the shelters are kind of at that point.
So yeah, to find a hundred acres to have dogs
room would be pretty amazing. We'd love to see it.
And I think what people don't realize too is a
lot of organizations like this, These these private rescues and
the county shelters, they all work together. They're not like
working separate. They're not like competing for straight dogs. They're
exchanging them and passing them back. My dog came from
(22:40):
the Florida Georgia line in Albany, Georgia and got transferred
to Fulton County, and then I fostered him and ended
up adopting him. I mean I could have easily never
met that dog, but just how it all played out. UM.
So yeah, facilities like this, even though it's not directly
in Georgia, it being in Alabama in the southeast, is
an asset to us here in Atlanta and issues that
we have. So this is great. Big Dog Ranch Rescue,
(23:02):
Big Dog Ranch Rescue y'all. And you know, speaking of
rescuing dogs, this next story is about a missing dog
who was found five feet underground in an intricate cave system.
Such a crazy story, so well, there was a teacher
and a recreational caver, Rick Haley. They went out to
map a cave like you do. I guess if you're
(23:23):
a caverer, I'm gonna map ye. And he had no
idea he'd end up staging a rescue mission, um let alone,
reuniting the lost dog with her owner. He was with
a team of about thirty spelunkers, which is just a
great word, spelunking. They were down there splunking, and maybe
(23:43):
there were some manities down there doing it to everybody
spunk and done there. But they found this dog and
they had to crawl and squeeze through tight passageways. And
I don't know about you say, but like, there's nothing
more scary to me than like be in in a
tight passage. You have you ever done any like caving
or that kind? My goodness, is so terrifying, very very upsetting.
(24:06):
Um I've tried a little bit um in like the
worst possible way. I tried while scuba diving. It was
my first time I ever scuba diving, and they're like,
come into this cave. I was like, no, I don't know. Yeah,
that sounds absolutely terrifying to me. One of the scariest
movies of all time is The Descent. So no, I
(24:27):
will not be going in any caves. I will not
be spelunking. I won't be mapping any routes. He's just
gonna but if there's a dog, oh, it might be rough,
but I'll do it well. Well apparently with these pros,
you know, and I think the thing you would do
(24:48):
probably like, you know, reach out to the people that
could could call some spelunkers, get them in there, get
them out of the manatee orgy into the splunking cave
and and you know, they were actually able to rescue.
It took about an hour, which to me doesn't seem
that long. Um and uh. They said the dog was
in bad shape, but of course once it was out
(25:08):
of the cave, her spirits parked up. Uh and the
owner said the thirteen year old dog had been right.
Poor Abby. The dog had been missing since June nine,
the meaning that she spent two months in those caves.
This poor pop, Abigail, What were you doing, Abigail? But
(25:30):
you know, the story does have a happy ending because
abblicaile got home and you know, don't give up hope.
Like Sam said, if you find a dog, keep it
around for hours because there might be exactly Wow, that's incredible. Well,
poor Abbey, she's so lucky someone found her with a
(25:52):
sweet baby. He's just trying to have a nice little
adventure and it wentzu literally. Yeah. Yeah. We will be
right back with more ridiculous news after this short wreak.
Yeah yeah, yeah, confused you an ridiculous news all right?
(26:19):
Now for our last segment. Here for a little bit
of dessert, we have a couple of fun stories. One
is about goats and sheep who are deployed to use
their appetites to save Barcelona from wildfires. And that's right.
Swapping sirens for bells and equipped with voracious appetites, Barcelona's
newest firefighting recruits began delicately picking past hikers and cyclists
(26:40):
in the city's largest public park earlier this year. The
four legged brigade, made up of two d and nineties
sheep and goats, had just one task, which was to
munch on as much vegetation as possible. Their arrival turned
Barcelona into one of the latest places to embrace an
eight year old strategy that's being revived as officials around
the world face off against to rise and extreme wildfires.
(27:01):
And I have actually experienced this in terms of the
goats getting rid of hesitation myself, because we hired a
bunch of goats to clean out our backyard several years ago.
It was quite an experience. There was about I've been
thinking about doing that in my yor I have a
bunch of English ivy in my yard that could use
some some goat and yeah, yeah, exactly take the English
(27:25):
ivy back, you know, the other side of the pond. Yeah.
The the goats were really fun and actually interesting to have,
but there was there was foul core, there's landy. They
were all had interesting names and stories. But the alpha
goat was a little intense, and so sometimes when the
alpha got out of control or tried to get out
(27:46):
of the gate, I'd have to go back. And the
key if you ever need to move a goat apparently,
or or are attacked by a goat, is if you
grab their goatee, they freeze up and you can kind
of guide them wherever you need them to go. So silly. Yeah,
So if you're if you're goats coming at, you know
(28:06):
that you have that option. I can do that. I
got that in my back pocket. I've wondered that because
with this the goat grazing is quite popular in Atlanta,
which makes sense. We've got quite a lot of vegetation
around here. Um, but I do see the goat grazing often,
and quite a few times in the years i've lived here,
I've seen goats get loose and just they you know,
(28:27):
as you're talking about goat trying to escape the enclosure, right,
if you're not on it, if you're not grabbing their
little beards enough, right, they do stage a coup and
they'll escape. I can't tell you how many times I've
been driving down Memorial and I'm just like goats. You know,
it's so funny. Is I literally so hired these goats
had that happen, and those those stories start popping up,
(28:49):
and it's the same company. It's like the same goats.
He hasn't been able to like he puts in a fence.
He says it's electrified. He like hooks it up to
a car battery and then you know, you might actidentally
touch and you're like, oh, it's not doing anything. And
of course the goats figure that out, and the goats
are like, let's go, let's go. We're out of here.
(29:09):
We're out of here. We're gonna follow Falcor right out
because we're gonna go find some fine landscaping. We're gonna
tear it up. So after the three days of the
goats in my backyard, they decided to have a mask
coup and and just completely escape. And this is right
as the guy was coming back to pick them up,
and they all twenty of them went over and started
(29:31):
just destroying my neighbor's vegetation. Luckily, my neighbors, Derek and
his sister and their kids actually were laughing. They were
having a good time because I was more surprise right there,
these these two little girls that had loved kind of
watching the goats do their thing, and they were just giggling.
But then the goats started heading up towards a very
(29:51):
busy road, Cascade Road in my neighborhood that is you
know people drive on, and I just my face turned white.
I thought this is going to be chaos. Goats are
gonna die. People are gonna die. Luckily it's for some reason.
They turned around. The guy showed up, got all of
the goats back into the big trailer except for one.
(30:12):
So we're chasing this goat. We finally get it into
my garage and it's pinned between my my car and
he's on one side. I'm on the other side, and
he goes, whatever you do, Bill, don't let that goat
get past you. So what does that mean? He's like,
you tackle that boat, And sure enough we both moved in.
That goat came towards me. And you know, I've never
(30:33):
played football, but if Lane Kiffin had been in my garage,
he might have. Yeah. I saw that boy tackle and
go He could tackle a man. I saw it myself,
get takedown a kid. He could taketown college kid. Kids
(30:55):
don't have horns hopefully. Oh that's so funny. That's brave.
I don't think I would be brave enough to tackle
a goat. You know, it's just because I realized I
had to do it, I just do it, I guess. So, Yeah,
if someone tells you you have to be like, well,
I don't want to let this guy down it and
Luckily the goat was not at all heard. I think
(31:16):
I did a decent tackle and they got back, and
so I would say overall experience, I loved having the goats.
They were cute, they were fun to hang out with.
Just if you hire a goat company to do it,
which I recommend obviously it's working in Barcelona. Uh, just
make sure they do a good fencing job. Yeah, absolutely ready.
(31:37):
And it turns out, you know, this is something you know,
all these wild wildfire's climate change happening everywhere, so this
might you know, come up more and more where. It's
really impressive because the goats will just eat all of
the you know, English ivy cut suit, you name it,
and they'll kind of climb the trees a little bit,
so they'll they'll get up higher. Yeah, exactly, exactly, so
(31:59):
it's give a full eight feet and belows completely. Yeah.
I kind of always wondered why we don't employ more goats,
like in the city and things like that. It just
seems like it would be good for the earth, be
better than all the fumes and the energy suck of
the tools that we normally used to cut grass and
and things like that. Exactly. I'm a big fan of
(32:19):
just like I don't know about yards, y'all. I feel
like maybe we should all just get you know, micro
clover in the yards. Actually, I'm trying working on that
in my yard. I'm going to put in some this
type of succulent in my yard called dwarf dwarf carpet
of stars instead of grass. That's what I'm doing. That's
very so then you don't have to mow it. It
(32:40):
only grows to be like I don't know, I think
it's like a half an inch tall, and it's like
a spongy plush kind of succulent. Almost looks like grass,
but it's a succulent, so it doesn't even need that
much water. It kind of grows whenever wherever. It's very hardy.
Going to try that out, yeah, because I agree boot
a regular grass, my Mike, that's what this is. Weird
(33:04):
past the boomer ideology. And my parents are proud of
this thing. I love you all, but you know, like
the air, this this obsession with grass and lawns. I
love the obsession with plants and things and growing, but yeah,
the lawn, the lawn is silly. It's this sense of
like owning and taming land and controlling it, which I'm like, yeah,
(33:25):
we loved doing that back in the day. We loved power.
But I think we should start accepting that the Earth
is more powerful than us, and we should appease her
by caring for her gently and growing food in our yards. Amen. Amen,
we don't need to manifest destiny everything. Yeah, quick, manifest
destiny everything America called down. Take a chill, Bill Well,
(33:48):
the speaking of America calming down. I found this next story.
I just thought it was so ridiculous, Sam that this
is uh in the Bay Area of funeral a casket
got knocked over because a massive family fight broke out.
That's right. A massive brawl broke out between twenty family
members during a funeral for an elderly woman in Richmond
on August six, leading to one injury. Want to rest
(34:11):
in twenty tho dollars in damage um. The Richmond Police
Department said it responded to a memorial park after several
reports of a quote chaotic altercation between eight to twenty
family members who were reportedly armed. Oh my god. The
sergeant said that it was an instance of family drama
(34:33):
that started between a brother and a sister who were
attending their mother's funeral and do not get along, and
that it goes back many years. This next I'm just
the details here, y'all are just so crazy. The brother
and sister got into an argument. Boyfriend came over, told
her walk away. You gotta walk away, uh, which apparently
(34:54):
did not happen. In the brother got in a car,
was driving a car, damaged the grap as, apparently tried
to run over his sister. Um knocked over and damaged
headstones and vases, broke a water main that ejected copious
amounts of water, and fled to the funeral pot plot
Um and knocked over the casket. But unlike you know,
(35:18):
the coffin Flop episode of So I Think You Should Leave,
the body did not fall out of the casket, Thank goodness. Right,
I don't know, like I have not you know, I
love my family. I have a pretty big extended family,
and I just feel like I we've never gotten into
any kind of brawl situation, you know, Uh, it just
(35:42):
hasn't have Just yeah, I don't. I mean as children,
I'm not gonna lie Roland. My sister and I has
fought a lot, yeah money, but we just did it
now we were we we fought, We definitely fought fought.
But now I feel like, at this as an adult,
I couldn't imagine physically putting my hands in another person.
(36:03):
It just seems not even because I'm like, oh my morals,
I'm like, oh my back, but not recover from that
right hook. There's just no way. I don't have it
in me. But man, imagine I mean, in the hindsight,
you know, it's nice to see twenty people, a whole
family getting together. They must have really been close at
(36:26):
some point. Uh wow. Can you imagine the people who
own the funeral home. Of all the things that you
are prepared for in the insurance that you buy for
your funeral home, do you think there's an insurance for
family brawls? Like is there something like for that water
main break? Who's out of pocket? Right? Right? Exactly? Yeah. Well,
(36:47):
the crazy thing is at the end of this article
they say we sometimes get family disputes at the cemetery
or at the church. Uh, this was no different. But
they were possibly armed, and it did go above and beyond.
So it happens enough that they're like, there has to
be a protocol. It makes sense. It makes sense that
there's confrontation at funerals, and there's drama and people show
(37:09):
up who like people don't want They're all that kind
of thing I would love to hear. I know there's
some reality shows that are based in family owned funeral homes.
I want now. I've never watched them, but now I
want to dig in and I want to find out, like,
what are their policies and protocol for dealing with family drama?
Right the next time I go to funerals, like are
they starting to hire bouncers? You know, it just gets
(37:30):
a little bit more feel it. I feel like I
have to escalate so much more quickly now to just
because we are able to like post things and put
things online, Like, I just feel like you need to
handle that fast otherwise you go viral as like the
funeral home with the twenty person fist fight. You know,
you got to be careful or maybe you want that.
(37:50):
I maybe it's good publicity for a funeral home. Look
at our spacious viewing rooms. You could put twenty fighting
family members in here. We have first aid on site
for any sort of will take bets. You know, Oh
my gosh, there so wild and hey, sibling rivalry you know. Yeah,
(38:14):
so you got fights with your your sister too, yet
my brother and I did, and my my brother's the
much stronger, much more powerful, you know, four to five
years older, depending on the time of year. So I'm
curious with you, Sam, how how did that turn out? No,
I'm the youngest, But the thing is, I'm the youngest,
but I'm also the biggest because I'm I'm six one
(38:37):
and my sister's only five eleven. Uh so I've always
had a few inches on her. But yeah, I would say,
you know, not to point fingers, but she definitely was
the instigator of the fights. I think that's the power
of being the oldest, is you're like, you go to
violence first, right, right. I do think there is like
(38:57):
an assumption like this is my right. And my sister
tried to beat me up and it did not work.
There's a really great story about her trying to start
something with me. We're really young. I think I was
only three or four. She tried to take I have
a Teddy broad that's like my childhood toy, and she
tried to take it, and my dad just came downstairs
to us screaming, and I was on top of my sister.
She was faced down, holding the bear out and her
(39:19):
away from me, and I was just pulling her hair
and slamming her head into the ground, like give it back.
I'm like four, she's eight, You're already taking her out.
I I yeah, I definitely she started it, but I
wouldn't finish it. Let's say that I hate it. I
hated doing I know. I couldn't tell you the last
time I got to fight, though, I'm not. I'm not
(39:40):
that vibe. Yeah. Yeah, it's different when it's siblings, when
your kids get it. Yeah, it's so funny that when
you're a kid, though, it's true though, you like tear
each other apart. So I kind of have to not
judge these adult siblings too much because you know what
I mean, Like we're looking at them as two adults,
but they're looking at each other as like two ten
year olds, and they're like out of my room. Like
(40:01):
it's a different energy. So no judgment. Yeah, getting your
Tonka trunk and rolling through the sandbox and getting into
your you know, your four Bronco and driving through it.
You know, I guess it's sorry. I was thinking about
something else. Yeah, that's kind of like what we were four,
but dot so funny. My brother and I used to
(40:23):
have like we'd play Madden Football on the old nes
and we'd get into controller fights. Were just hitting each
other with those controllers like they're nune checks. I love you,
ben If. If you're listening out there, you're exactly Those
things are some weapons. Um. Well, this brings us to
my last segment and our last segment for today, which
(40:45):
is the spring of inspiring inspirations. We always try to
leave you with a quote to take you into the
rest of your weekend. Um this is a full one
from John Lennon, and I thought this was interesting. He said,
being honest might not get you a lot of friends,
but will always get you the right ones. Oh that's nice.
(41:06):
I like that. Yeah, And John, did you have a
lot of friends? Seems like he did. Seems like he
seems like he was. It seems like it's easy for
him to say that. But I've always been a fan
of Are you Beatles fan at all? Same? Yes? Yes,
I definitely was that middle schooler with like imagine lyrics
written on my binder like I was there. I was there. Well, Sam,
(41:30):
thank you so so much for joining me today on
this has been amazing to have you been a wonderful
co host, UM and Sam. Is there anywhere else that
people can find you if they want to follow you
on the socials or wherever. Yes, Um, pretty much on
all social platforms Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, you can follow me
(41:50):
at what Sam just said, and then you can check
out my website It's just Um, Sam Gordon Comedy dot com.
And so you can see clips and find out we're
in performing, what other classes I'm teaching all sorts of
fun stuff like that. Um, And you can also check
out Wendy Peach and Don't Tell Comedy. Lots of things
to check out. Yeah, please follow Sam, check out that website.
(42:13):
Checker out on social is super funny. If you're in Atlanta,
go to a live show. You will not regret it. Um,
it's amazing having you here, and for you listeners, it's
always amazing. Thank you so much for tuning into Ridiculous News.
You've got a lot of options out there. It means
the world to us that you'd spend your precious time
with us, so we say this genuinely thank you. You
(42:33):
can email us at Ridiculous News at I heart Media
dot com. You can follow us on i G and
Facebook at Ridiculous News, and you can also check out
our comedy videos at Mark Kindle Comedy on Facebook at
i G. Thanks so much for tuning in you' all
will see you next time. Bye bye bye. M Ridiculous
(43:05):
News is hosted by Mark Kendall and Bill Warley. Executive
producers are Ben Bullen and Noel Brown, Produced and edited
by Terry Harrison. Research provided by Casey Willis and theme
music by Four Eyes and Dr Delight. Four more podcasts
from my Heart Radio visit the i Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows
Ridiculous News as a production of I Heart Radio and
Cool Cool Cool Audio. Yeah yeah, yeah, we're amazing and
crazy topics. To begin to choose, you would now done
the antio ridiculous News, we can't us their views are
working the rules of broadcasts. Then m all sorts awhile
be course that she was lasting a brand of beat journalism,
(00:22):
the strange and unusual stories, and well we give them
when it's all about ridiculous news. Everywhere we told about
ridiculous News over here. Hello everyone, Welcome to Ridiculous News,
not your average news show. We cover stuff you didn't
realize was news from the wild and funny, to the
deep and hidden to the absolutely ridiculous. I'm Bill Whorley
and a Land based filmmaker. I'm a comedian and this
(00:42):
weekend I was in Piedmont Park and I actually caught
a couple of free concerts, including a band called Acid
Dad that I had never heard of from New York
and they are not surprisingly a psychedelic, crunch rock band.
I'm not sure if your Dad would like him or not.
Mark is out today. He's filming on the other side
of the country, and I'm so excited to have a
(01:03):
wonderful guest co host and friend, Sam Gordon. Sam is
an amazing stand up originally from Chicago. She was traditionally
raised on a steady diet of hot dogs, and most
of Sam's youth was spent performing in local theater, usually
in the role of someone's evil stepmother. She cut her
teeth at the Second City, featured for comedians such as
(01:25):
Michael Ian Black and Shane Moss, and produced secret comedy
shows for Don't Tell Comedy in Atlanta. She's written amazing
original scripts. I've had the pleasure of filming some of
those with her, and she's a member of the Writer's
Guild of America. She currently produces shows, offers creative consulting
and Jesus comedy writing through her business Whinney Peach Comedy.
(01:48):
That's Windy Peach Comedy. Sam, Welcome, Welcome to the podcast.
Thank you so much for co hosting with me today.
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for having me Bill.
How exciting. Yeah, yeah, it's so great. It's it's great
that you agree to do this. It's always great to
see you perform. You always uh, you know, we do
a thing called giving them their flowers. With every guest
that we have, so I'll do a brief giving of
(02:10):
your flowers. You don't need to return the favor, but
you've been such a pleasure to watch throughout the years.
From when you were doing on uh it was Last
or Good Evening Tonight and an amazing writer and performer
on that show. We've been able to work on sketches together.
You're always so funny on screen and also just so prepared.
(02:31):
And you know, there's a lot of comedians that are
kind of all over the place. You're always such a
good writer. You always bring such great ideas, and you're
always when you're on stage, you're always talking from such
a place of vulnerability that it really, you know, brings
the audience in. It's just so refreshing to watch, um.
And so I'm just excited to have you here today. Sam, Well,
(02:52):
thank you so much. What wonderful what wonderful flowers to
be given. Um. I really appreciate that we really have
known each other for a minute. It's so funny too
look back on the last years and realize, oh, it's
not just a few, it's like a couple of added
up you know, it's wild. I've done quite a few
things quite a few things together, and I really appreciate
just all the different ways that we've been able to
(03:14):
collaborate and and rub elbows in the comedy scene. There's
been so many different times that like I just run
into you and I'm so happy to see you. You're
always out supporting shows and you put out such cool things.
What a what a fun relationship that we were given here. Huh. Yeah,
Like I should have stopped you because I'm not supposed
to get flowers, but I took some. I took a
couple of well I took a little of them too.
They were both of us. You know, I'll share. But yeah,
(03:37):
that was great. Yeah, And today is a weekly round
up episode, so we're just gonna be talking about headlines
that caught our eyes recently. And we'll start off with
our ridiculous news nipples. Um And this first one is interesting.
It's that from NPR you can actually get paid to
eat candy as a Canadian company's chief candy officer. It's
(03:58):
a different way to say CCO. I USh, I can
see see me in that. Well a lot of people do. Yeah.
So so the description on LinkedIn read do you love
all Things candy and chocolate. Are you passionate about confectionery
treats and exploring unreleased and existing products. This is the
(04:19):
perfect position. It's an Ontario based company and it pays
one hundred thousand dollars in Canadian dollars, which is about
seventy eight grand in US dollars. Uh, it's a good
time to go to Canada. But the job can be
remote and it's based either in Canada or it's New
(04:39):
Jersey offices. Um. And it says here that the Cheap
Candy officer will serve as a head taste tester and
try over thirty five hundred products each month, which is
about a hundred and thirteen pieces of candy a day.
And that's just I don't know. That just makes my
mouth hurt. I feel like much you're gonna get sores.
(05:02):
You're gonna get as you come with a dental plan.
That's my first question. Actually, the physician specifically says it
comes with an extensive dental plan because they're going to
poison you right right exactly, like you're gonna your teeth
are gonna be falling out, and the other the other
(05:24):
thing I love about this this article is I don't
know that the LinkedIn uh add for this says it,
but in MPR they felt it necessary to mention that
you can get type two diabetes UM and your right
heart disease from eating more than ten percent of your
calory intake from candy. Yeah, I mean really, I mean
(05:46):
it sounds like a whimsical, a doult really walk a situation,
but realistically, it's like the It's like another version of
that Super Size Me documentary. It's like if of candy
and day first three weeks, what happens You're like, oh no, right, yeah,
that guy almost died. That was art, so it was
(06:07):
worth it. Um, that's so crazy. Wow. I would love
to see the details of the healthcare plan and how
they how they verbalize, right, yeah, like what is an
extensive dental plan? You know, maybe you get an extra
doctor for that, right exactly. Well that leads us into
(06:28):
this next story, which is not a direct tie in,
but it is from The Daily Beast and also the
Tampa Bay News. Uh. The Daily Piece reported this story
in my favorite way, which was that Florida cops begged
people to stop interrupting manatee orgies. That's right on Sunday afternoon.
(06:49):
Please please calm down, there's nothing to see here. Uh.
The Sara Sota Police Department stated that there were some
looky lose who were attempting to touch a group of
manatees near the South Liedo Beach because it's officially manatee
mating season in Florida and local officials are asking people
not to put body parts non descriptive near or within
(07:15):
what's referred to as a mating herd or more disturbingly,
a mating ball. Oh the bell of the mating ball. Manatee?
Will it be? They're all just waiting to see I
don't know why when I hear manatee orgy, I'm just
not surprised that that's how manatees make. This makes sense. Well,
(07:37):
you know, I also kind of get the vibe of
the manatees. They're kind of laid back and lazy, so
it seems like they would, you know, let's all pencil
that in together. Let's just get that done and then
we can go back to grazing. Do you guys want
to just get together on the fifth and bang this
out and then move on. That's what I feel like
it's happening. But also the fact that it's at South
Liedo Beach. I'm immediately thinking Libido Beach, and I'm like,
(08:00):
what do they expect? You know, right, if you name
something Libido beach, you might have That's what the manities
are going to pencil it in because we're thinking, yeah,
and the manage orgy and the manatee orgy community. That's code.
I think manatees are so like they call them the
sea cows, right, they seem like such friendly creatures, and
(08:23):
like you said, I think they're going to put out
the least amount of energy possible, and this just makes
the most efficient way to just make a bunch of
baby manatees. Let's just get all these katies out of here.
You know, it's so funny. Well, apparently appairly also is
um It's it's illegal to touch, annoy, harass, or molest
(08:48):
amanity according to the Enangered Speeches. You should hope so
on the last one. But my goodness, well no, but
it makes sense. I mean I saw recently I was
in North Carolina and they had an area of the
beach that was blocked off because it's worth some birds
like to nest and do their their thing, and it's like,
you know what, don't disturb them. This is the Bird
Motel for where they you know, get together. Um, but yeah,
(09:13):
I just I'm curious about the people who are disturbing
the manatees because I want to believe that they're just
like really ignorant and they don't realize what they're interrupting,
and they are just they're they're they're human. Hubris is
urging them forward. But if they know what they're interrupting,
I mean I couldn't. I couldn't tell you anything that
would keep me further from the beach. Then the phrase
(09:35):
manatee orgy, I say you, I will see you in
the spring. I will come back next year. I will
not be back any kind of beach orgy. I'm not.
I'm not coming to that right because because that just
you get in the water and maybe you brush it
up against seaweed or something, and it's a whole different vibe,
it's a whole different jump scare, you know. I just
(09:55):
I hate to be an inconvenient to anyone. Heaven forbid
that I interrupt this this thing that they've clearly been planning,
you know, for EON's. It's their their annual meet up.
I don't want to get in the way of the Manatees.
You know, they rarely get in my way. That only
seems fair well. Moving on to Old Miss, which is
(10:19):
a direct correlation from I think the Manatee orgies. Um
Lane Kiffin, the coach at Old Miss. Apparently Old Miss,
the football team's coach, found their new punter at a
keg party on campus, which I realized sounds like the
National Lampoons plot, but it really happens. Um, they were
(10:39):
lacking at the punter position and took a visit to
fraternity row to see if any of the guys could
kick a football, and they found it, and a guy
named Charlie Pollock then that this quote from Lane Kiffin too,
just such a head coach quote, but this is his
quote is I don't know a whole lot about him.
I think he's down on the frat house, like at
(11:01):
a CAG party. That's where they got them. So we
have the condition to work to do work with this guy.
But we just said, hey, someone go find a punterer,
and uh, you know, you never know, someone just go
find me a strong fella. Just see if there's a
(11:21):
strong fellow with no extracurriculars on his schedule, like the
way that SEC schools because I went to U g A.
You know, the way that they treat the football teams
and the coaches especially. I remember when I was at
school at U t A. They had a budget kind
of lockdown because the budget was tight for whatever reason
(11:44):
back in the early two thousand's, and so they weren't
allowed to print us papers. But they did like build
a whole new like part of the facility for the Yeah,
there's no surprise there, and I mean and there, And
that's for a collegiate team that has some kind of
cloud in history. Meanwhile, my high school in suburban Chicago,
(12:04):
one year, our our theater group, we didn't get to
go to the Illinois Theater Festival that year to perform
because they allocated some extracurricular funds to repaint the bleachers
outside the football field. So they said go see Quoints,
which the whole that ended up being a whole issue.
We end up having to paint over it because we
(12:25):
were named after a tribe that we weren't supposed to
be named after. It was the whole thing. But nonetheless, um,
I know this story well. In our team, I mean,
they were just a couple of real average boys. They
were not doing anything, but boy did we have to
put some pretty bleachers for him. That is so funny
(12:46):
because so yeah, for this guy to get scooped up
into that culture, that is a national lampoon movie. Stay tuned, heal,
We're going to take a quick break to hear a
word from our sponsor. Would amazing and crazy tool dance
(13:09):
a ridiculous news? All right? For our main course today,
we're talking about dogs and some amazing stuff to do
with dogs. Not specifically pick this out because Sam is
a huge advocate for dogs and all kinds of animals. Um,
and I'm a big fan of dogs too, of course
I know some of our listeners maybe as well. Uh Sam,
Actually I recently saw you, Sam doing a show, hosting
(13:31):
a show at Fetch Dog Park, which is a really
cool dog park here in Atlanta, Georgia. That is, I mean,
it's kind of swanky. It's like this outdoor dog park
with astro turf and they have a couple of bars,
and you know, people can pay to bring their dogs
and meet people. Um, how's it been doing those shows?
(13:53):
It is such a bizarre controlled chaos. It's so funny
because the show you know, the show Fatch has existed
for a few years of the old Fourth World location,
now Fetch as several locations around Atlanta. They're doing great, um,
But the show has been handed down from a few
across like a few different comedians, and so I've performed
on it a few times over the years, but only
(14:14):
just in this last few months when you saw it, Um,
I had. I just started hosting it and running it
with Windy Peach, and it's I you know, I thought
that I knew what I was getting into having performed
on it, but running it's honestly a whole different gambit
because I really didn't even think about how chaotic it
is setting up. But there's dogs everywhere. That is so
funny because they really do add to this kind of
(14:36):
fun like improvised element of the show though, because people
tend to interact and it gets people's ideas going, and
I don't know, it just creates a really cool um
icebreaker between the comedian and the audience because it's like, lookay,
we already have this in common. We're here with all
these dogs, you know. So it's it's honestly a much
better contribution than you would think. It's more helpful than
(14:57):
it is chaotic, but it is super chaotic. Sometimes look
out into the audience and there's just dogs running around. Yeah,
I think you know it's funny because when I saw
it too, I think there's some stand ups that react
a little bit better, or at least, you know, they
more play off the dogs. And sometimes you can tell
where they're just completely kind of oh my god, there's
a pretend this isn't happening. I'm pretend this isn't happening.
(15:20):
It is interesting to book and realize that, you know,
not everyone's a big fan, and I honestly, I normally
wouldn't be like such a I wouldn't like gravitate personally
towards hanging out in a dog park. Socially that wouldn't
be me. I love dogs, but I specifically love my dog,
and like, you know, the idea of dogs more than
I want like a dog touching me that I don't know,
(15:42):
but um it is. It is funny to see people
different people's levels, because then some people show up some
comics and they just love it. They're kissing every dog there,
and you're like, wow, you're into this. Huh right right, Yeah,
this is the thing. Yeah, I love, I'll always pet talks.
I don't know if i'd get down kiss and dogs
stop that might be slightly too Yeah. Yeah. Just you
(16:05):
know one of my good friends, Ronnie, who have been
trying to convince to get a dog for most of
most of the time that I've known him. Um, he
is a great guy. But he was always great, always
been great to my dogs. But he always has this
thing where he's like, you know what, I love petting
a dog, but I've never pet a dog where I
didn't feel like I needed to immediately wash my hands afterwards.
(16:26):
I mean that's accurate, is right. It's like, oh my gosh, well,
well there's this. So this this main story that I
have in here is about a hundred acre, no cage,
no kill dog shelter that's opening in Alabama, Big Dog
Ranch Rescue, UM, which just sounds really interesting. A hundred
acres is just so massive, especially when you think about
(16:49):
you know, like the humane shelters here in Atlanta, and
I know you've been there before. Is nowhere to hear
that space. Um. It's actually the former home of a
gray hound training facility UH in Shorter in Making County,
and will serve as rescue, rehabilitation, medical and adoption center. UM.
The CEO said the facilities desperately needed that you know,
(17:12):
record numbers of dogs are being brought to shelters, resulting
in overcrowding and a record youth in Asia rate for
these former family pets. And there's also you know, higher
costs with inflation from fuel to food, and that's prompting
people unfortunately to surrender their dogs. UM. They said that
this new property will actually allow them to save an
(17:32):
additional five thousand dogs every year, which is amazing. Wow,
it's a lot. It's incredible. I think a lot of
people assume that when dogs are in a shelter or
dogs dat a new home, it's because they've been lost
or they were straight there's something something wrong with them.
But you know, it is true, especially in this last
few years, by and large, animals are owners surrendered because
(17:55):
of circumstances UM that you know, unfortunately coming to people's lives.
Uh and and so to have a resource for that
and to provide just it's like they're nice family dogs.
Not to say that every dog isn't nice, but you know,
there is this assumption that if a dog doesn't have
a home, there must be a good reason or something
happened or it never had one, and that simply isn't
the truth. So it's just nice to see that, particularly
(18:16):
here in the Southeast, where the numbers are really staggering
compared to the rest of the country. We have way
more homeless pets than anywhere else. Yeah, what do you
think that is? You know, I wonder if it's a
poverty thing. Yeah, I think it's a combination of things,
for sure. I think it is a poverty thing. I
think there is also a general mentality not to paint
the Southeast as inherently, um, you know, more country, because
(18:40):
it's not. I mean here we are in Atlanta, we
know that. I mean, so much of the Southeast is
very much heavily urbanized. But um, you know, I do
think that there is a little bit of a different
um mentality behind how people keep pets. I think you
do see more people keeping pets on neutered here in
the South then, Like I was like, coming from Chicago, Oh,
(19:00):
I don't. I couldn't tell you unless it was a
you know, a dog they were breeding for specific purposes,
like a show dog. I don't know anyone with an
un neuter dog. But here, I mean tons of people
keep their dog on neuter just because they want to
like let them be free. And you're like, yeah, but
if he gets out, he'll really do a lot. Uh
you know what I mean, it's just not worth it. Um.
(19:21):
And so there is a little bit of different mentality
around Spain neuter. And I think also, I know, specifically
for Atlanta, I mean, the the dog issue and the
way that we handle our stray animals for the county
only recently changed in this last twenty years when Lifeline
Animal Shelters as a nonprofit took over the contract for
the city and really started to focus on providing services
(19:44):
in this sort of like support net kind of addressing
the issues that we're talking about, you know, addressing poverty,
addressing resource issues, addressing like people who need someone to
read home a pet or you know, behavioral issues so
they don't have to read home it, they get the
help they need to retrain their dog, providing dog runs,
all those sorts of things that that resource really only
existed in the last twenty years and it only really
came full forest probably in the last ten. So I
(20:06):
think that's another issue too, it's been like a pervasive
problem for much longer, and then I think the issue
of the pandemic probably exacerbated it. Um. But yeah, it is,
it's just a little bit different, and I think it's
an issue that um, not everyone realizes is an issue
until you like go into a shelter and you look around.
I know I didn't until I decided to start fostering,
(20:27):
and then my eyes really got opened right right, And
you were mentioning the other day, I saw a show
that you know, there's some uh kennels and and the
for lack of their way to say that the cages
that they put the dogs in where you know, normally
that's one dog to a single spot and and now
there could be like three or four dogs kind of clean.
(20:50):
Yeah yeah, I mean recently here in Atlanta, like Fulton County, Um,
just they just got a new facility. It's a nice facility.
There's a part of the belt line is right next
to it. It's once everything is all completed with the
bell line, it's gonna be a really great asset to
the to the shelter. UM. But even in this great
new facility they have, you know, the capacity is for
eighty dogs at a time, and they have almost like
(21:12):
four hundred dogs in Fulton County alone. They had they
had almost like five or six hundred dogs between Fulton
and Decab recently. Um, and those numbers just keep going up. It's,
you know, for every you know, ten dogs that get adopted,
like twenty dogs come in and it's it's just really overwhelming.
UM and so. And I think part of that too
(21:32):
is also just about connecting people with resources to understand
like what do you do when you find a lost
pet and how do you know? The advice they give
is to keep it for forty eight hours and look
around the neighborhood, talk to your neighbors see if you
can reconnect them with their owner. Because most dogs get
lost within a mile of their own home, so by
removing them and bringing them to the shelter, you've actually
taken them further from home more often than not, and
(21:54):
it just creates a harder time connecting them. If the
dog isn't microchipped, you know, which is a nothing to
get pets micro chip, to get your dog registered so
if it gets lost, we can reunite you easily. Things
like that. So, UM, I think it's about connecting people
with these other resources so the dogs don't end up
in the shelter in the first place. UM, is kind
of the goal. But yeah, right now things are so overloaded,
(22:16):
um that the shelters are kind of at that point.
So yeah, to find a hundred acres to have dogs
room would be pretty amazing. We'd love to see it.
And I think what people don't realize too is a
lot of organizations like this, These these private rescues and
the county shelters, they all work together. They're not like
working separate. They're not like competing for straight dogs. They're
exchanging them and passing them back. My dog came from
(22:40):
the Florida Georgia line in Albany, Georgia and got transferred
to Fulton County, and then I fostered him and ended
up adopting him. I mean I could have easily never
met that dog, but just how it all played out. UM.
So yeah, facilities like this, even though it's not directly
in Georgia, it being in Alabama in the southeast, is
an asset to us here in Atlanta and issues that
we have. So this is great. Big Dog Ranch Rescue,
(23:02):
Big Dog Ranch Rescue y'all. And you know, speaking of
rescuing dogs, this next story is about a missing dog
who was found five feet underground in an intricate cave system.
Such a crazy story, so well, there was a teacher
and a recreational caver, Rick Haley. They went out to
map a cave like you do. I guess if you're
(23:23):
a caverer, I'm gonna map ye. And he had no
idea he'd end up staging a rescue mission, um let alone,
reuniting the lost dog with her owner. He was with
a team of about thirty spelunkers, which is just a
great word, spelunking. They were down there splunking, and maybe
(23:43):
there were some manities down there doing it to everybody
spunk and done there. But they found this dog and
they had to crawl and squeeze through tight passageways. And
I don't know about you say, but like, there's nothing
more scary to me than like be in in a
tight passage. You have you ever done any like caving
or that kind? My goodness, is so terrifying, very very upsetting.
(24:06):
Um I've tried a little bit um in like the
worst possible way. I tried while scuba diving. It was
my first time I ever scuba diving, and they're like,
come into this cave. I was like, no, I don't know. Yeah,
that sounds absolutely terrifying to me. One of the scariest
movies of all time is The Descent. So no, I
(24:27):
will not be going in any caves. I will not
be spelunking. I won't be mapping any routes. He's just
gonna but if there's a dog, oh, it might be rough,
but I'll do it well. Well apparently with these pros,
you know, and I think the thing you would do
(24:48):
probably like, you know, reach out to the people that
could could call some spelunkers, get them in there, get
them out of the manatee orgy into the splunking cave
and and you know, they were actually able to rescue.
It took about an hour, which to me doesn't seem
that long. Um and uh. They said the dog was
in bad shape, but of course once it was out
(25:08):
of the cave, her spirits parked up. Uh and the
owner said the thirteen year old dog had been right.
Poor Abby. The dog had been missing since June nine,
the meaning that she spent two months in those caves.
This poor pop, Abigail, What were you doing, Abigail? But
(25:30):
you know, the story does have a happy ending because
abblicaile got home and you know, don't give up hope.
Like Sam said, if you find a dog, keep it
around for hours because there might be exactly Wow, that's incredible. Well,
poor Abbey, she's so lucky someone found her with a
(25:52):
sweet baby. He's just trying to have a nice little
adventure and it wentzu literally. Yeah. Yeah. We will be
right back with more ridiculous news after this short wreak.
Yeah yeah, yeah, confused you an ridiculous news all right?
(26:19):
Now for our last segment. Here for a little bit
of dessert, we have a couple of fun stories. One
is about goats and sheep who are deployed to use
their appetites to save Barcelona from wildfires. And that's right.
Swapping sirens for bells and equipped with voracious appetites, Barcelona's
newest firefighting recruits began delicately picking past hikers and cyclists
(26:40):
in the city's largest public park earlier this year. The
four legged brigade, made up of two d and nineties
sheep and goats, had just one task, which was to
munch on as much vegetation as possible. Their arrival turned
Barcelona into one of the latest places to embrace an
eight year old strategy that's being revived as officials around
the world face off against to rise and extreme wildfires.
(27:01):
And I have actually experienced this in terms of the
goats getting rid of hesitation myself, because we hired a
bunch of goats to clean out our backyard several years ago.
It was quite an experience. There was about I've been
thinking about doing that in my yor I have a
bunch of English ivy in my yard that could use
some some goat and yeah, yeah, exactly take the English
(27:25):
ivy back, you know, the other side of the pond. Yeah.
The the goats were really fun and actually interesting to have,
but there was there was foul core, there's landy. They
were all had interesting names and stories. But the alpha
goat was a little intense, and so sometimes when the
alpha got out of control or tried to get out
(27:46):
of the gate, I'd have to go back. And the
key if you ever need to move a goat apparently,
or or are attacked by a goat, is if you
grab their goatee, they freeze up and you can kind
of guide them wherever you need them to go. So silly. Yeah,
So if you're if you're goats coming at, you know
(28:06):
that you have that option. I can do that. I
got that in my back pocket. I've wondered that because
with this the goat grazing is quite popular in Atlanta,
which makes sense. We've got quite a lot of vegetation
around here. Um, but I do see the goat grazing often,
and quite a few times in the years i've lived here,
I've seen goats get loose and just they you know,
(28:27):
as you're talking about goat trying to escape the enclosure, right,
if you're not on it, if you're not grabbing their
little beards enough, right, they do stage a coup and
they'll escape. I can't tell you how many times I've
been driving down Memorial and I'm just like goats. You know,
it's so funny. Is I literally so hired these goats
had that happen, and those those stories start popping up,
(28:49):
and it's the same company. It's like the same goats.
He hasn't been able to like he puts in a fence.
He says it's electrified. He like hooks it up to
a car battery and then you know, you might actidentally
touch and you're like, oh, it's not doing anything. And
of course the goats figure that out, and the goats
are like, let's go, let's go. We're out of here.
(29:09):
We're out of here. We're gonna follow Falcor right out
because we're gonna go find some fine landscaping. We're gonna
tear it up. So after the three days of the
goats in my backyard, they decided to have a mask
coup and and just completely escape. And this is right
as the guy was coming back to pick them up,
and they all twenty of them went over and started
(29:31):
just destroying my neighbor's vegetation. Luckily, my neighbors, Derek and
his sister and their kids actually were laughing. They were
having a good time because I was more surprise right there,
these these two little girls that had loved kind of
watching the goats do their thing, and they were just giggling.
But then the goats started heading up towards a very
(29:51):
busy road, Cascade Road in my neighborhood that is you
know people drive on, and I just my face turned white.
I thought this is going to be chaos. Goats are
gonna die. People are gonna die. Luckily it's for some reason.
They turned around. The guy showed up, got all of
the goats back into the big trailer except for one.
(30:12):
So we're chasing this goat. We finally get it into
my garage and it's pinned between my my car and
he's on one side. I'm on the other side, and
he goes, whatever you do, Bill, don't let that goat
get past you. So what does that mean? He's like,
you tackle that boat, And sure enough we both moved in.
That goat came towards me. And you know, I've never
(30:33):
played football, but if Lane Kiffin had been in my garage,
he might have. Yeah. I saw that boy tackle and
go He could tackle a man. I saw it myself,
get takedown a kid. He could taketown college kid. Kids
(30:55):
don't have horns hopefully. Oh that's so funny. That's brave.
I don't think I would be brave enough to tackle
a goat. You know, it's just because I realized I
had to do it, I just do it, I guess. So, Yeah,
if someone tells you you have to be like, well,
I don't want to let this guy down it and
Luckily the goat was not at all heard. I think
(31:16):
I did a decent tackle and they got back, and
so I would say overall experience, I loved having the goats.
They were cute, they were fun to hang out with.
Just if you hire a goat company to do it,
which I recommend obviously it's working in Barcelona. Uh, just
make sure they do a good fencing job. Yeah, absolutely ready.
(31:37):
And it turns out, you know, this is something you know,
all these wild wildfire's climate change happening everywhere, so this
might you know, come up more and more where. It's
really impressive because the goats will just eat all of
the you know, English ivy cut suit, you name it,
and they'll kind of climb the trees a little bit,
so they'll they'll get up higher. Yeah, exactly, exactly, so
(31:59):
it's give a full eight feet and belows completely. Yeah.
I kind of always wondered why we don't employ more goats,
like in the city and things like that. It just
seems like it would be good for the earth, be
better than all the fumes and the energy suck of
the tools that we normally used to cut grass and
and things like that. Exactly. I'm a big fan of
(32:19):
just like I don't know about yards, y'all. I feel
like maybe we should all just get you know, micro
clover in the yards. Actually, I'm trying working on that
in my yard. I'm going to put in some this
type of succulent in my yard called dwarf dwarf carpet
of stars instead of grass. That's what I'm doing. That's
very so then you don't have to mow it. It
(32:40):
only grows to be like I don't know, I think
it's like a half an inch tall, and it's like
a spongy plush kind of succulent. Almost looks like grass,
but it's a succulent, so it doesn't even need that
much water. It kind of grows whenever wherever. It's very hardy.
Going to try that out, yeah, because I agree boot
a regular grass, my Mike, that's what this is. Weird
(33:04):
past the boomer ideology. And my parents are proud of
this thing. I love you all, but you know, like
the air, this this obsession with grass and lawns. I
love the obsession with plants and things and growing, but yeah,
the lawn, the lawn is silly. It's this sense of
like owning and taming land and controlling it, which I'm like, yeah,
(33:25):
we loved doing that back in the day. We loved power.
But I think we should start accepting that the Earth
is more powerful than us, and we should appease her
by caring for her gently and growing food in our yards. Amen. Amen,
we don't need to manifest destiny everything. Yeah, quick, manifest
destiny everything America called down. Take a chill, Bill Well,
(33:48):
the speaking of America calming down. I found this next story.
I just thought it was so ridiculous, Sam that this
is uh in the Bay Area of funeral a casket
got knocked over because a massive family fight broke out.
That's right. A massive brawl broke out between twenty family
members during a funeral for an elderly woman in Richmond
on August six, leading to one injury. Want to rest
(34:11):
in twenty tho dollars in damage um. The Richmond Police
Department said it responded to a memorial park after several
reports of a quote chaotic altercation between eight to twenty
family members who were reportedly armed. Oh my god. The
sergeant said that it was an instance of family drama
(34:33):
that started between a brother and a sister who were
attending their mother's funeral and do not get along, and
that it goes back many years. This next I'm just
the details here, y'all are just so crazy. The brother
and sister got into an argument. Boyfriend came over, told
her walk away. You gotta walk away, uh, which apparently
(34:54):
did not happen. In the brother got in a car,
was driving a car, damaged the grap as, apparently tried
to run over his sister. Um knocked over and damaged
headstones and vases, broke a water main that ejected copious
amounts of water, and fled to the funeral pot plot
Um and knocked over the casket. But unlike you know,
(35:18):
the coffin Flop episode of So I Think You Should Leave,
the body did not fall out of the casket, Thank goodness. Right,
I don't know, like I have not you know, I
love my family. I have a pretty big extended family,
and I just feel like I we've never gotten into
any kind of brawl situation, you know, Uh, it just
(35:42):
hasn't have Just yeah, I don't. I mean as children,
I'm not gonna lie Roland. My sister and I has
fought a lot, yeah money, but we just did it
now we were we we fought, We definitely fought fought.
But now I feel like, at this as an adult,
I couldn't imagine physically putting my hands in another person.
(36:03):
It just seems not even because I'm like, oh my morals,
I'm like, oh my back, but not recover from that
right hook. There's just no way. I don't have it
in me. But man, imagine I mean, in the hindsight,
you know, it's nice to see twenty people, a whole
family getting together. They must have really been close at
(36:26):
some point. Uh wow. Can you imagine the people who
own the funeral home. Of all the things that you
are prepared for in the insurance that you buy for
your funeral home, do you think there's an insurance for
family brawls? Like is there something like for that water
main break? Who's out of pocket? Right? Right? Exactly? Yeah. Well,
(36:47):
the crazy thing is at the end of this article
they say we sometimes get family disputes at the cemetery
or at the church. Uh, this was no different. But
they were possibly armed, and it did go above and beyond.
So it happens enough that they're like, there has to
be a protocol. It makes sense. It makes sense that
there's confrontation at funerals, and there's drama and people show
(37:09):
up who like people don't want They're all that kind
of thing I would love to hear. I know there's
some reality shows that are based in family owned funeral homes.
I want now. I've never watched them, but now I
want to dig in and I want to find out, like,
what are their policies and protocol for dealing with family drama?
Right the next time I go to funerals, like are
they starting to hire bouncers? You know, it just gets
(37:30):
a little bit more feel it. I feel like I
have to escalate so much more quickly now to just
because we are able to like post things and put
things online, Like, I just feel like you need to
handle that fast otherwise you go viral as like the
funeral home with the twenty person fist fight. You know,
you got to be careful or maybe you want that.
(37:50):
I maybe it's good publicity for a funeral home. Look
at our spacious viewing rooms. You could put twenty fighting
family members in here. We have first aid on site
for any sort of will take bets. You know, Oh
my gosh, there so wild and hey, sibling rivalry you know. Yeah,
(38:14):
so you got fights with your your sister too, yet
my brother and I did, and my my brother's the
much stronger, much more powerful, you know, four to five
years older, depending on the time of year. So I'm
curious with you, Sam, how how did that turn out? No,
I'm the youngest, But the thing is, I'm the youngest,
but I'm also the biggest because I'm I'm six one
(38:37):
and my sister's only five eleven. Uh so I've always
had a few inches on her. But yeah, I would say,
you know, not to point fingers, but she definitely was
the instigator of the fights. I think that's the power
of being the oldest, is you're like, you go to
violence first, right, right. I do think there is like
(38:57):
an assumption like this is my right. And my sister
tried to beat me up and it did not work.
There's a really great story about her trying to start
something with me. We're really young. I think I was
only three or four. She tried to take I have
a Teddy broad that's like my childhood toy, and she
tried to take it, and my dad just came downstairs
to us screaming, and I was on top of my sister.
She was faced down, holding the bear out and her
(39:19):
away from me, and I was just pulling her hair
and slamming her head into the ground, like give it back.
I'm like four, she's eight, You're already taking her out.
I I yeah, I definitely she started it, but I
wouldn't finish it. Let's say that I hate it. I
hated doing I know. I couldn't tell you the last
time I got to fight, though, I'm not. I'm not
(39:40):
that vibe. Yeah. Yeah, it's different when it's siblings, when
your kids get it. Yeah, it's so funny that when
you're a kid, though, it's true though, you like tear
each other apart. So I kind of have to not
judge these adult siblings too much because you know what
I mean, Like we're looking at them as two adults,
but they're looking at each other as like two ten
year olds, and they're like out of my room. Like
(40:01):
it's a different energy. So no judgment. Yeah, getting your
Tonka trunk and rolling through the sandbox and getting into
your you know, your four Bronco and driving through it.
You know, I guess it's sorry. I was thinking about
something else. Yeah, that's kind of like what we were four,
but dot so funny. My brother and I used to
(40:23):
have like we'd play Madden Football on the old nes
and we'd get into controller fights. Were just hitting each
other with those controllers like they're nune checks. I love you,
ben If. If you're listening out there, you're exactly Those
things are some weapons. Um. Well, this brings us to
my last segment and our last segment for today, which
(40:45):
is the spring of inspiring inspirations. We always try to
leave you with a quote to take you into the
rest of your weekend. Um this is a full one
from John Lennon, and I thought this was interesting. He said,
being honest might not get you a lot of friends,
but will always get you the right ones. Oh that's nice.
(41:06):
I like that. Yeah, And John, did you have a
lot of friends? Seems like he did. Seems like he
seems like he was. It seems like it's easy for
him to say that. But I've always been a fan
of Are you Beatles fan at all? Same? Yes? Yes,
I definitely was that middle schooler with like imagine lyrics
written on my binder like I was there. I was there. Well, Sam,
(41:30):
thank you so so much for joining me today on
this has been amazing to have you been a wonderful
co host, UM and Sam. Is there anywhere else that
people can find you if they want to follow you
on the socials or wherever. Yes, Um, pretty much on
all social platforms Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, you can follow me
(41:50):
at what Sam just said, and then you can check
out my website It's just Um, Sam Gordon Comedy dot com.
And so you can see clips and find out we're
in performing, what other classes I'm teaching all sorts of
fun stuff like that. Um, And you can also check
out Wendy Peach and Don't Tell Comedy. Lots of things
to check out. Yeah, please follow Sam, check out that website.
(42:13):
Checker out on social is super funny. If you're in Atlanta,
go to a live show. You will not regret it. Um,
it's amazing having you here, and for you listeners, it's
always amazing. Thank you so much for tuning into Ridiculous News.
You've got a lot of options out there. It means
the world to us that you'd spend your precious time
with us, so we say this genuinely thank you. You
(42:33):
can email us at Ridiculous News at I heart Media
dot com. You can follow us on i G and
Facebook at Ridiculous News, and you can also check out
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