December 28, 2025 • 26 mins
The famously available women are setting their intentions for 2026 when it comes to love!
Find out what each woman is leaving in 2025, and what kind of love she’s hoping to attract in the new year.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
iHeart podcasts, bring you the ultimate summer of love Tree.
This is Famously Available. Hey, it's Ben Higgins back with
you on Famously Available. Make sure to catch up on
the last episode. I am handing over the microphones to
all three of our amazing famously Available women, Kathy, Dianna,
(00:22):
the Mercedes. I want to know what they're looking forward
to in twenty twenty six as we enter the new year.
So let's jump back into their conversation.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Man, it feels like everybody's had a tough twenty twenty five.
Is there anything that you're looking to leave behind?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Ooh, you're going to laugh when I say it. So
I said it last year too, and I will say
I've made improvement this year. What is it? Interrupting people
while we are laughing.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
But that's a good goal. That's a good goal, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I am better this year than I was last year,
So I I you know, I left half of it
behind last year. I want to leave the other half
behind this year.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
That's an awesome goal. I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
You know.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
It's funny because I believe as people, we think that
our opinion is so important that we need to be
heard right Instead of actively listening. That is equality that
is really important to me when I'm looking to date
is someone who is an active listener. But we as humans,
I believe it is in our nature. We think that
our opinion is so important. We think we need to
be heard, and truth of the matter is is nine
(01:33):
times out of ten, it's really not important.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Or we don't like silence. We're awkward, awkward, so let's
fill it. You know before I'm going to interrupt you
because you might not say anything and then it'll be quiet, so.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Then we will. Yeah. I feel that I'm kind of
like that where I'm like, I don't want anything to
ever feel awkward, so I'm always like, okay, I need
to like start talking. What can I say? And I
still like it keeps going Okay, something I want to leave.
In twenty twenty five, this one's like kind of deep,
but I feel like it's like the thing that like
(02:06):
is coming to me is like negative talk when it
comes to like myself, I feel like I get like
when I'm on dates or when I'm like even if
I meet new people, like, I'm like, do they think
I was weird? Like you know what I'm saying and
I'm so unapologetically myself, but at the same time, I
still do have these voices in my head. No one
would ever know except for me that I'm like, did
(02:28):
they think I was weird? That's like my biggest thing
is like do they think I was weird? Which is
so crazy because I know it's not true, and I
know that it's just the enemy in my head trying
to like bring me down. So that's something that I
really want to like just kick out and say, Syinara,
stay in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I love that for you. Yeah, you're not alone, Just
so you know you're not alone.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I know, I know. It's a very common thing.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, there, I can take one thought and turn it
eight way sideways in a matter of seconds.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Yes, Oh I'm an overthinker for sure.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
We all could do that. But to be aware, self
aware enough that you're doing it that right, there is
half the battle, Mercedes. Yeah, for all of us. If
you recognize it, then you can sort of say, nope,
I'm not going to let that happen. I'm going to
turn from that before it really gets its grips on me.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, that's something that I have also been working on
this year, and I don't always see the improvement in myself.
It is much easier for me to see the improvement
in you guys or someone else.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
But I would say that I go down the rabbit
hole less.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It still happens because I am human, so I have
to have some grace with myself. But I go down
the rabbit hole less, I spin out of control, just
a little bit less. And so I'll take those as
wins because you used to. I could spend days mother
mother effing anyone.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
So what do you want to leave behind or is
that what you want to leave behind? Diana?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Well, no, no, Mine is kind of deep too, and
I think that's just because of the transformative year that
I have had. But I want to leave my old
self behind.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
I think there's all of you behind.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Nope, no, but I just think that what I have
gone through over the last few years. And Kathy, we
have discussed this, like, divorce is grief, right, there are
many many versions of grief, and my divorce was very
much grief for me, and I rode every wave and
(04:20):
so there is this beautiful piece where like I still
am me, but I also get to be a different
version of me, and I think I have spent a
lot of time feeding into myself and doing a law
of work, you guys, doing a law of work all
the therapy. I am a person of growth. I will
I will jump on any experience to learn more about
(04:40):
myself and to be better with myself. I'm going to
a retreat in January and I'm going to meditate, and
I'm going to listen to my own like inner voice
and be one with God, you know. And I am
so excited because so ex I have always been like that, like, please, yeah,
tell me what I did wrong. I want to work
on that. I want to grow. I want to be better.
I want to be better for myself. But I also
(05:02):
just want to be a better woman and a better mother.
I don't want my children to experience the same grief
and heartache that I have that I have had, and
so I just want to be a better person. So
I say that I want to leave my old self
behind because I think it's really wonderful that I get
to learn more about myself this year and I get
to choose greatness. I get to choose to be different,
(05:24):
I get to choose to pause. You guys, I too,
Kathy believe that my opinion is very important that I.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Need to be heard as it is not everybody needs
to hear it.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Wait, I have a question for both of you though,
And I think Deanna, you and I have touched on this,
but your horrific divorce. Mercedes, I don't know. I'm sure
in your fabulous, beautiful twenty seven years of life, I'm
sure you've had heartache and this appointment because we all have,
none of us escape it. My question do you both?
Speaker 5 (06:03):
Then?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I ponder this all the time because of my husband's suicide,
Because of what I've been through, I am a better person.
I did a ton of grief therapy. Here's my question.
Do you think it takes that kind of cataclysmic, catastrophic
event for us to work as hard as we are
(06:26):
working to be better people? Like? That's what I wonder,
like sometimes say, God, really, you know? Did I need this?
Couldn't you just like broken my wrist or something? You know? Slightly?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I kind of love this question, Yeah, I mean I
love this question. And Mercedes, I know that you're a
Christian as well, so I don't believe in a punishing God.
I believe we are given free will to make decisions.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
I agree.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
We are allowed to do that.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
And therefore there are consequences for our actions when you
try to deviate from the path you are meant to
be on. When you deviate from that, you get to
reap the consequences, whether they are good or bad, consequences
for our choices and our actions. So, if you are
allowed allow yourself to relinquish full control and let your universe,
(07:18):
your God, your higher being, whatever it is, have full
control of your life. If you can truly do that,
then you could have less heartache, less grief, less things
if you're able to get yourself on the right path.
But as humans, we are allowed fore will to make
our own decisions, and therefore sometimes we have consequences for
(07:40):
our actions. So if I'm going to use myself, for example,
I sometimes look back at my marriage. I'm not sure
why I married that person, other than my children are
my greatest gifts. I was meant to have Addison and Austin.
They were made for me. That's what I believe. Call
me nuts whatever you want, I believe my children were
(08:01):
made for me.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
They were a gift.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
My God knew that I needed them in my life,
that I needed those kids and the only way to
have those two children was to have them with my
ex husband.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
They are my greatest gift.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I could not have made them without him. But because
of some of the decisions that I made and the
path that I walked, I had to endure grief and
heartache and pain, and he did as well. Because ultimately,
I don't believe that we are supposed to spend a
lifetime together.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
I don't know, what do you think, Mercedes.
Speaker 5 (08:32):
Yeah, I mean I'm with you, like the same thing. Like,
I do not think God does anything to punish us.
I think God is like, he's not chaos, He's not
so anything outside of that I don't think is necessarily
from him or was meant for us. But I do
think back to Kathy's question, like my heartbreak, I had
(08:54):
never so I experienced heartbreak when I was twenty three
or four. I think, worst thing ever. And I know
that it probably it did like I was a twenty three,
twenty four year old whatever like, But genuinely I was like,
I do not wish this feeling upon anyone. I felt
like I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
It was.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
It was genuinely the worst thing ever. And because of
that I feel like I had so much hate in
my heart towards that person, because I'm like, why would
you do this to me? Like why are we doing this?
Like can we try to figure it out? Whatever? But
I will say because of that, it gave me values
that I love about myself now. Like the only way
(09:36):
I got over that was because I prayed for him,
and I was like, he needs he needs healing, and
it has nothing to do with me. It has everything
to do with him, and he needs healing, so let
me pray for him. And it made me forgive him.
And now everything I do in life, like if someone
makes me mad or someone does me wrong, like I
pray for them and it's I don't know. It just
completely changed my thought and it took me like a
(09:58):
year to get there, but now I feel like it
because I went through heartbreak and because I went through that,
now I have something about me that I know what
to do when people do do me wrong. And it
just completely changed my life.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
That's beautiful too. Yeah, just to be clear, that's beautiful, Mercedes.
And by the way, do not diminish when you say
I was only twenty three or twenty four. Do not
diminish your heartbreak, what you went through, that's as real
as anything that I've gone through. That's your life, and
your life has all as much value as our lives do.
So yeah, But just to be clear, though, I wasn't
(10:33):
saying that God punished me. I was saying, if God
wanted my attention, obviously my husband of the free will,
I agree with you, Dianna to do what he did.
But at the same time, I also believe that God
is in control of our lives, and so I'm thinking
(10:56):
God was trying to really get my attention, which he did, uh,
you know, whiplash. But that that was my question sort
of now a question, more of a comment. I wish
that it didn't we didn't. I wish Johnny, you didn't
have to go through the horrible divorce to get you
where you are today. I wish I didn't have to
(11:17):
go through what I went through. Mercedes, I wish that
that hadn't happened to you. But I realized saying that
at the same time, you know, as we close out
this fabulous here, that these that life lessons. I mean,
life is what happens to us on the way to death.
You know, we have all these lessons, and I just
I sometimes wish it they weren't quite so stringent, quite
(11:38):
such a big smack across the face. And having said that,
I am a much better person. I joke all the
time that the guy that gets me, mister Wright, who
is right around the corner, he is getting so much
of a better version of me than than my husband had,
which is sad to say.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I hate the saying that there's beauty and pain, Yeah,
because there is is right the pain and exactly what
you said you went through, Mercedes, like we've all done it, right,
We've all done it. I did it just a few
years ago. There were days I could not get out
of the bed. Had I not had children, I would
not have gotten out.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Of the bed. It is awful.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
But then there when I say that rebirth, you guys
for me, look at the beauty in that, Look at
the beauty in that. Yes, I would have absolutely And
my ex husband is not my only heartache, right, I had,
like grateful to have loved many times and loved really
great guys like I wouldn't change that for the world.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
I might change some of this circumstances.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I might take a few bad decisions back, But like
I am grateful to have loved and lost than to
have never loved it all. And I hate cliche sayings.
I hate them, hate them, hate them, pay them, but
it is true I would have taken it over anything.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Well, I just want to say, we're we're going to
move into what we think about twenty twenty six. Here
a second, bet, I just want to say, for me,
one of the other fabulous things about twenty twenty five
is getting to know both of you and your beautiful
such incredible women. But one thing I've learned from both
of you that I don't even think you set out
(13:15):
to teach me, is that we all it doesn't matter.
You know, Mercedes, you're the youngest, Deanna you're in the middle,
and I'm bringing up the rear. Hear. But we all
are looking for love, We're all looking for connection. We
all have families, we love, We all work hard, and
that gives me joy to know that there's some consistency
(13:37):
in the world that you know, we're on this journey
and we're working hard to be the best we can be.
But we all Age doesn't really Again another cliche, age
is only a number. We usually talk about that in
terms of dating. I'm talking about it in terms of you,
two guys. Age is only a number. I value you guys,
your opinions, your thought, your friendship. So I just wanted
you to know that I.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Love you guys.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
I think there is some path for us all, and
look at the three of us. Is that we're on
the right path right now. The three of us were
meant to meet each other this year and do this
podcast together. We might not walk off here with the
man of our dreams. Oh yeah, oh okay, take me
with you.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Take me with you.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
And by the way, Mercedes and Dianna, you will too,
believe you know, it's still we're We're in the moment
of believe. That's my word for twenty twenty six. What
is yours? My word is believe. I believe that good
things are out there and we just need to open
our eye. Need to keep my eyes open and wait
for it and believe that it will happen. And I
(14:37):
do believe it. Yeah, what about you, guys, what's your word?
Speaker 5 (14:42):
My word for twenty twenty six? Let's go with maybe
like alignment. That's so good, Like I hope that like
everyone that comes into my life is aligned with where
I am. That's that's the word amusing and even even
(15:03):
people but like also like job opportunities everything, Like I
hope it's just all aligned with who I am as
a person and my values.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I want to steal that. I don't think I have
a word.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
You can have the same word.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Yeah, maybe I might.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Maybe I might borrow Mercedes word because I have lots
of feelings for it. Like you know what, I think.
I really want some peace. I want some peace. Yeah,
but I have multiple words. I don't know that I
can choose one. I want peace, I want acceptance. I
want to be fully and holy loved as I am
as I was made.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Was that too much to ask?
Speaker 5 (15:39):
Oh no, not at all.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Like I said, keep your eyes open and believe it's
coming for you.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
Well, I don't know how far.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
However, the line starts here, so it's behind getting lied by.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah, well there we are, there we are.
Speaker 5 (16:07):
Are you on riah or anything? Would you ever do
dating apps?
Speaker 4 (16:10):
I have done dating apps.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Kathy and I have had this conversation because I was
trying to encourage her to get on them and try it.
I applied to be on Riya, but apparently I'm not
cool enough either.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Mine has not been approved. Yeah, no, you.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Guys definitely aren't too old.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
What's the end? How do you get in on Riya?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Because it mine just continues to say that my application
is being reviewed.
Speaker 5 (16:32):
Oh I don't know. I mean you have to have
did you put like people like references?
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I did, yeah, and I have like a lot of
my references were celebrity friends who are also on the app.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Weird.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Okay, I need you all to suddenly a list of
who's on there, because when I applied, they did not.
I don't even remember. I don't think I got a
response back.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
They pull it from your contacts and sometimes you're in
review for a period of time, and I guess they
only let us an amount of people on the app,
like they meet at one point in time in your area.
But they'll pull your your references from your contacts. Once
you do it, you click on whomever might be on
Riya and that person can be your reference. And so
I have done that. So I didn't get approved to
(17:15):
be on Riya, but I've done bumble And that's for
another podcast, Mercedes.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
That was a bit of a show, shall we say.
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Okay, I was.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Really surprised at how many men wanted to send me
pictures of their genitalia.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Oh and I really bumble. Yeah, And I just didn't
want that. It's just not what I'm in it for.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I don't think the penis is attractive anyway, let alone
sending me a picture of it.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
I don't want it.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
I don't want it.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
I don't want it.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
Yeah, No, that's weird, and especially on the Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
I did meet a couple of guys that I went
out with that turned into second or third dates. One
guy in particular, I dated off and on for a
year and a half and I really really liked him,
cared about him, and I have nothing but wonderful things
to say. But I just think in the long run,
the things that I need to align in the long
run weren't there. Like I could never imagine introducing him
(18:09):
to my children. Yeah, and that's a huge red flag
for me.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Yeah. There was one and I can't think of the
name of it. I just thought of the name of it,
Keller International that approached me when I came off the show.
But they wanted me to pay thirty five thousand dollars.
It's a membership deal and I just didn't really feel
(18:33):
like it sort of felt like I would be I
don't want to say prostitution.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
But they wanted you to pay thirty five thousand dollars
for them to find you a man.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
So there are several apps you guys that are like
that where you have to pay a lot of ship Yep,
you pay a membership in Mercedes. It's a lot of money. Like,
it's like a thousands of dollars. I don't want to
invest that much to go on seventeen for states.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Well, I figure if if. When she called me right
afterranking off the show, she said, you know, we saw
you on the show. We think you'd be great. Da
da da da da, And of course then asked me
to go and say, I'm somebody's island. Do you know
what I'm talking about? Some guys a date an island,
some famous Hollywood person and somebody knew who It wasn't like,
(19:23):
really you got invited to go to that. I was
like yeah, And by the way, that was thirty five
thousand dollars to go there as well. You know there's
a lot.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
No, yeah, those sound like pyramid schemes to me. What
I think the three of us need to get on board.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Richard Branson, That's what it was.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, well he's listened. He's a multimillionaire for a reason.
But what I think the three of us need to
start doing is we need to all send our emails
to iHeart and and maybe what needs to happen is
they need to do the next couple of podcasts in
twenty twenty six as a matchmaking service. Maybe we need
to have a matchmaker come on and set the three
(19:56):
of us up. And now that we have done you know,
the dates, maybe we should start exploring. Because I did
hear this in Bryce's interview as well. He was like,
it was kind of hard to date with eighty other
people around. Maybe we start exploring, you know, in our
next couple of episodes, more traditional dates. And I believe
our listeners would like that as well, a more traditional
(20:17):
situation where we actually get to know someone and see
if there's something there.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
But maybe, you guys, we need.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
To talk to our producers as if they're not listening
right now, I have a match.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Ida you sound like a producer, But with that not
I mean, I'm.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Really pulling for the three of us, okay, And maybe
we need a matchmaking service here.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Can I just need to point out something. I never
got a concert date, but after watching yours concert date,
I'm going to take a hard pass on this.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Listen, Kathy, you can you can learn from our mistake.
So okay, although I would say I think Mercedes went
really well, but but yeah, let's let's you know, concerts
are fun.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
They're fun. Let's let's let's do this. Let's do this,
all right.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
I will one more question I have for you. I'm
loaded with questions. That's another thing I asked any questions.
I'm going to try to stop that too, all right,
how do you plan to prioritize loving yourself in the
new year. I stay up late night thinking of these questions.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
You're just your head.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Look at her, Mercedes, if you need her head is
just out of control.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
She's just spinning down the rabbit hole right now.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I will answer first, if that's okay, I'm already practicing this.
I have been practicing this for the last I don't
know eight plus months. Is prioritizing myself putting myself first,
and that goes across the board with everything. Because I
told you guys a lot what my prayer is when
I wake up in the morning, is like, you know,
(21:46):
thank you for my gifts. I've got a lot of them,
and I'm really, I'm really really grateful for everything that
I have and the way my life is going, in
the path that I'm going down. But truthfully, I want
to be a better woman. I want to be a
better now.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
How do you plan to do that?
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Though, I'm about to tell you Ken, oh.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Sorry, I thought you were saying just one.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
I want to bet.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Six can't come soon or not.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
We're almost there, Cathy, you just hold on tight. I
want to be a better woman.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I want to be a better mom, and I want
to be a better partner some someday. Right those are like,
those are my top three priorities right now in myself.
And so what I'm doing is I'm diving into myself
and that comes with self care, like waking up, making
sure I'm doing my prayer and my meditation. I have
to do that, you guys, to get myself right before
I can be present for anyone else. And then it's
really just feeding into myself and being really aware and
(22:37):
listening to my own intuition of what I need. And
some days I really want to go out and I
want to be social and I want to meet people,
and some days I want to lock myself in my
house and binge television and go to bed at seven
thirty at night. So I am truly just trying to
tap into my own intuition and understand what it is
that I need my soul's purpose for this upcoming year
(22:57):
and really really listen hard because I want to be
on that path, because y'all, that path has got to
be better than my own path for myself, and you
have seen me in the last year. That path has
got to be better than anything else that I have
experienced in twenty twenty five. And so I am trying
(23:17):
to sit with myself in the uncomfortable pieces and listen
to my own intuition and really be sure of those
decisions before I jump the gun.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
On those things. And a lot of that looks like
just being alone.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
I feel like for me, I feel like just taking, yeah,
taking care of myself and putting myself first and listening
to what I need. I feel like I'm a helper,
I'm a giver and I love, love, love that about myself,
but sometimes people take advantage of it. So again, like
with what I was saying earlier of me being like
(23:53):
this is me, take it if you will. Like, I
just want to be like so in the zone with
myself and know that we do have goals that we're
going to reach. But like I have to be I
have to put myself first, and sometimes that's hard for me.
But I think that once I figure out how to
do that, I'm going to be a lot happier.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
You're so wise beyond your years. It's just a really beautiful.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Thing, Diana, because honestly, my answer is a combination of
both of you. I want to spend more time in
the morning praying, meditating, getting myself right before I get
up out of bed, but also listening. Uh what you said,
Merced is sort of listening to myself. And because I
also am a gimber, I'm also checking on my friends
(24:39):
all the time, trying to help and instead of sitting
back and being a little bit quiet with myself and saying,
you know, what do you need Kathy. So it really again,
this is proof that the three of us, regardless of
the age difference, we all have the similar challenges, similar goals.
I love here.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Yeah, yeah, we're not putting on ourselves on the back
twenty six can know.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
We are not.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
No, we are not.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
I love you, guys.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I'm so glad we're doing this, and I'm really really
glad to be doing it with the both of you.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I second that second that.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Happy holidays you guys.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Happy happy Highs, Happy New Year, Happy Christmas, happy Kwanza,
whatever you're celebrating.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
Here's to twenty twenty six.
Speaker 5 (25:21):
Yes, it's gonna be a good year. I can feel
it's all going to find our.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Man fabulous here.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
If we don't find him, we'll find ourselves right exactly.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
I love you guys.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Have a great day, you guys too.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Thank you night Wow, ladies, thank you, thank you for
letting me be a part of this journey along with
all of you listeners. It's been a great fun getting
to know all of you on a deeper level and
seeing you not give up on love at any age.
I'm hoping we make some love connections in the new
year for all of you. But until then, I've been
(25:55):
Ben
iHeart podcasts, bring you the ultimate summer of love Tree.
This is Famously Available. Hey, it's Ben Higgins back with
you on Famously Available. Make sure to catch up on
the last episode. I am handing over the microphones to
all three of our amazing famously Available women, Kathy, Dianna,
(00:22):
the Mercedes. I want to know what they're looking forward
to in twenty twenty six as we enter the new year.
So let's jump back into their conversation.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Man, it feels like everybody's had a tough twenty twenty five.
Is there anything that you're looking to leave behind?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Ooh, you're going to laugh when I say it. So
I said it last year too, and I will say
I've made improvement this year. What is it? Interrupting people
while we are laughing.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
But that's a good goal. That's a good goal, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I am better this year than I was last year,
So I I you know, I left half of it
behind last year. I want to leave the other half
behind this year.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
That's an awesome goal. I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
You know.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
It's funny because I believe as people, we think that
our opinion is so important that we need to be
heard right Instead of actively listening. That is equality that
is really important to me when I'm looking to date
is someone who is an active listener. But we as humans,
I believe it is in our nature. We think that
our opinion is so important. We think we need to
be heard, and truth of the matter is is nine
(01:33):
times out of ten, it's really not important.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Or we don't like silence. We're awkward, awkward, so let's
fill it. You know before I'm going to interrupt you
because you might not say anything and then it'll be quiet, so.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Then we will. Yeah. I feel that I'm kind of
like that where I'm like, I don't want anything to
ever feel awkward, so I'm always like, okay, I need
to like start talking. What can I say? And I
still like it keeps going Okay, something I want to leave.
In twenty twenty five, this one's like kind of deep,
but I feel like it's like the thing that like
(02:06):
is coming to me is like negative talk when it
comes to like myself, I feel like I get like
when I'm on dates or when I'm like even if
I meet new people, like, I'm like, do they think
I was weird? Like you know what I'm saying and
I'm so unapologetically myself, but at the same time, I
still do have these voices in my head. No one
would ever know except for me that I'm like, did
(02:28):
they think I was weird? That's like my biggest thing
is like do they think I was weird? Which is
so crazy because I know it's not true, and I
know that it's just the enemy in my head trying
to like bring me down. So that's something that I
really want to like just kick out and say, Syinara,
stay in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I love that for you. Yeah, you're not alone, Just
so you know you're not alone.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I know, I know. It's a very common thing.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, there, I can take one thought and turn it
eight way sideways in a matter of seconds.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Yes, Oh I'm an overthinker for sure.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
We all could do that. But to be aware, self
aware enough that you're doing it that right, there is
half the battle, Mercedes. Yeah, for all of us. If
you recognize it, then you can sort of say, nope,
I'm not going to let that happen. I'm going to
turn from that before it really gets its grips on me.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, that's something that I have also been working on
this year, and I don't always see the improvement in myself.
It is much easier for me to see the improvement
in you guys or someone else.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
But I would say that I go down the rabbit
hole less.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It still happens because I am human, so I have
to have some grace with myself. But I go down
the rabbit hole less, I spin out of control, just
a little bit less. And so I'll take those as
wins because you used to. I could spend days mother
mother effing anyone.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
So what do you want to leave behind or is
that what you want to leave behind? Diana?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Well, no, no, Mine is kind of deep too, and
I think that's just because of the transformative year that
I have had. But I want to leave my old
self behind.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
I think there's all of you behind.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Nope, no, but I just think that what I have
gone through over the last few years. And Kathy, we
have discussed this, like, divorce is grief, right, there are
many many versions of grief, and my divorce was very
much grief for me, and I rode every wave and
(04:20):
so there is this beautiful piece where like I still
am me, but I also get to be a different
version of me, and I think I have spent a
lot of time feeding into myself and doing a law
of work, you guys, doing a law of work all
the therapy. I am a person of growth. I will
I will jump on any experience to learn more about
(04:40):
myself and to be better with myself. I'm going to
a retreat in January and I'm going to meditate, and
I'm going to listen to my own like inner voice
and be one with God, you know. And I am
so excited because so ex I have always been like that, like, please, yeah,
tell me what I did wrong. I want to work
on that. I want to grow. I want to be better.
I want to be better for myself. But I also
(05:02):
just want to be a better woman and a better mother.
I don't want my children to experience the same grief
and heartache that I have that I have had, and
so I just want to be a better person. So
I say that I want to leave my old self
behind because I think it's really wonderful that I get
to learn more about myself this year and I get
to choose greatness. I get to choose to be different,
(05:24):
I get to choose to pause. You guys, I too,
Kathy believe that my opinion is very important that I.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Need to be heard as it is not everybody needs
to hear it.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Wait, I have a question for both of you though,
And I think Deanna, you and I have touched on this,
but your horrific divorce. Mercedes, I don't know. I'm sure
in your fabulous, beautiful twenty seven years of life, I'm
sure you've had heartache and this appointment because we all have,
none of us escape it. My question do you both?
Speaker 5 (06:03):
Then?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I ponder this all the time because of my husband's suicide,
Because of what I've been through, I am a better person.
I did a ton of grief therapy. Here's my question.
Do you think it takes that kind of cataclysmic, catastrophic
event for us to work as hard as we are
(06:26):
working to be better people? Like? That's what I wonder,
like sometimes say, God, really, you know? Did I need this?
Couldn't you just like broken my wrist or something? You know? Slightly?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I kind of love this question, Yeah, I mean I
love this question. And Mercedes, I know that you're a
Christian as well, so I don't believe in a punishing God.
I believe we are given free will to make decisions.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
I agree.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
We are allowed to do that.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
And therefore there are consequences for our actions when you
try to deviate from the path you are meant to
be on. When you deviate from that, you get to
reap the consequences, whether they are good or bad, consequences
for our choices and our actions. So, if you are
allowed allow yourself to relinquish full control and let your universe,
(07:18):
your God, your higher being, whatever it is, have full
control of your life. If you can truly do that,
then you could have less heartache, less grief, less things
if you're able to get yourself on the right path.
But as humans, we are allowed fore will to make
our own decisions, and therefore sometimes we have consequences for
(07:40):
our actions. So if I'm going to use myself, for example,
I sometimes look back at my marriage. I'm not sure
why I married that person, other than my children are
my greatest gifts. I was meant to have Addison and Austin.
They were made for me. That's what I believe. Call
me nuts whatever you want, I believe my children were
(08:01):
made for me.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
They were a gift.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
My God knew that I needed them in my life,
that I needed those kids and the only way to
have those two children was to have them with my
ex husband.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
They are my greatest gift.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I could not have made them without him. But because
of some of the decisions that I made and the
path that I walked, I had to endure grief and
heartache and pain, and he did as well. Because ultimately,
I don't believe that we are supposed to spend a
lifetime together.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
I don't know, what do you think, Mercedes.
Speaker 5 (08:32):
Yeah, I mean I'm with you, like the same thing. Like,
I do not think God does anything to punish us.
I think God is like, he's not chaos, He's not
so anything outside of that I don't think is necessarily
from him or was meant for us. But I do
think back to Kathy's question, like my heartbreak, I had
(08:54):
never so I experienced heartbreak when I was twenty three
or four. I think, worst thing ever. And I know
that it probably it did like I was a twenty three,
twenty four year old whatever like, But genuinely I was like,
I do not wish this feeling upon anyone. I felt
like I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
It was.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
It was genuinely the worst thing ever. And because of
that I feel like I had so much hate in
my heart towards that person, because I'm like, why would
you do this to me? Like why are we doing this?
Like can we try to figure it out? Whatever? But
I will say because of that, it gave me values
that I love about myself now. Like the only way
(09:36):
I got over that was because I prayed for him,
and I was like, he needs he needs healing, and
it has nothing to do with me. It has everything
to do with him, and he needs healing, so let
me pray for him. And it made me forgive him.
And now everything I do in life, like if someone
makes me mad or someone does me wrong, like I
pray for them and it's I don't know. It just
completely changed my thought and it took me like a
(09:58):
year to get there, but now I feel like it
because I went through heartbreak and because I went through that,
now I have something about me that I know what
to do when people do do me wrong. And it
just completely changed my life.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
That's beautiful too. Yeah, just to be clear, that's beautiful, Mercedes.
And by the way, do not diminish when you say
I was only twenty three or twenty four. Do not
diminish your heartbreak, what you went through, that's as real
as anything that I've gone through. That's your life, and
your life has all as much value as our lives do.
So yeah, But just to be clear, though, I wasn't
(10:33):
saying that God punished me. I was saying, if God
wanted my attention, obviously my husband of the free will,
I agree with you, Dianna to do what he did.
But at the same time, I also believe that God
is in control of our lives, and so I'm thinking
(10:56):
God was trying to really get my attention, which he did, uh,
you know, whiplash. But that that was my question sort
of now a question, more of a comment. I wish
that it didn't we didn't. I wish Johnny, you didn't
have to go through the horrible divorce to get you
where you are today. I wish I didn't have to
(11:17):
go through what I went through. Mercedes, I wish that
that hadn't happened to you. But I realized saying that
at the same time, you know, as we close out
this fabulous here, that these that life lessons. I mean,
life is what happens to us on the way to death.
You know, we have all these lessons, and I just
I sometimes wish it they weren't quite so stringent, quite
(11:38):
such a big smack across the face. And having said that,
I am a much better person. I joke all the
time that the guy that gets me, mister Wright, who
is right around the corner, he is getting so much
of a better version of me than than my husband had,
which is sad to say.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I hate the saying that there's beauty and pain, Yeah,
because there is is right the pain and exactly what
you said you went through, Mercedes, like we've all done it, right,
We've all done it. I did it just a few
years ago. There were days I could not get out
of the bed. Had I not had children, I would
not have gotten out.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Of the bed. It is awful.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
But then there when I say that rebirth, you guys
for me, look at the beauty in that, Look at
the beauty in that. Yes, I would have absolutely And
my ex husband is not my only heartache, right, I had,
like grateful to have loved many times and loved really
great guys like I wouldn't change that for the world.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
I might change some of this circumstances.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I might take a few bad decisions back, But like
I am grateful to have loved and lost than to
have never loved it all. And I hate cliche sayings.
I hate them, hate them, hate them, pay them, but
it is true I would have taken it over anything.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Well, I just want to say, we're we're going to
move into what we think about twenty twenty six. Here
a second, bet, I just want to say, for me,
one of the other fabulous things about twenty twenty five
is getting to know both of you and your beautiful
such incredible women. But one thing I've learned from both
of you that I don't even think you set out
(13:15):
to teach me, is that we all it doesn't matter.
You know, Mercedes, you're the youngest, Deanna you're in the middle,
and I'm bringing up the rear. Hear. But we all
are looking for love, We're all looking for connection. We
all have families, we love, We all work hard, and
that gives me joy to know that there's some consistency
(13:37):
in the world that you know, we're on this journey
and we're working hard to be the best we can be.
But we all Age doesn't really Again another cliche, age
is only a number. We usually talk about that in
terms of dating. I'm talking about it in terms of you,
two guys. Age is only a number. I value you guys,
your opinions, your thought, your friendship. So I just wanted
you to know that I.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Love you guys.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
I think there is some path for us all, and
look at the three of us. Is that we're on
the right path right now. The three of us were
meant to meet each other this year and do this
podcast together. We might not walk off here with the
man of our dreams. Oh yeah, oh okay, take me
with you.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Take me with you.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
And by the way, Mercedes and Dianna, you will too,
believe you know, it's still we're We're in the moment
of believe. That's my word for twenty twenty six. What
is yours? My word is believe. I believe that good
things are out there and we just need to open
our eye. Need to keep my eyes open and wait
for it and believe that it will happen. And I
(14:37):
do believe it. Yeah, what about you, guys, what's your word?
Speaker 5 (14:42):
My word for twenty twenty six? Let's go with maybe
like alignment. That's so good, Like I hope that like
everyone that comes into my life is aligned with where
I am. That's that's the word amusing and even even
(15:03):
people but like also like job opportunities everything, Like I
hope it's just all aligned with who I am as
a person and my values.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I want to steal that. I don't think I have
a word.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
You can have the same word.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Yeah, maybe I might.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Maybe I might borrow Mercedes word because I have lots
of feelings for it. Like you know what, I think.
I really want some peace. I want some peace. Yeah,
but I have multiple words. I don't know that I
can choose one. I want peace, I want acceptance. I
want to be fully and holy loved as I am
as I was made.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Was that too much to ask?
Speaker 5 (15:39):
Oh no, not at all.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Like I said, keep your eyes open and believe it's
coming for you.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
Well, I don't know how far.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
However, the line starts here, so it's behind getting lied by.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah, well there we are, there we are.
Speaker 5 (16:07):
Are you on riah or anything? Would you ever do
dating apps?
Speaker 4 (16:10):
I have done dating apps.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Kathy and I have had this conversation because I was
trying to encourage her to get on them and try it.
I applied to be on Riya, but apparently I'm not
cool enough either.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Mine has not been approved. Yeah, no, you.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Guys definitely aren't too old.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
What's the end? How do you get in on Riya?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Because it mine just continues to say that my application
is being reviewed.
Speaker 5 (16:32):
Oh I don't know. I mean you have to have
did you put like people like references?
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I did, yeah, and I have like a lot of
my references were celebrity friends who are also on the app.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Weird.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Okay, I need you all to suddenly a list of
who's on there, because when I applied, they did not.
I don't even remember. I don't think I got a
response back.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
They pull it from your contacts and sometimes you're in
review for a period of time, and I guess they
only let us an amount of people on the app,
like they meet at one point in time in your area.
But they'll pull your your references from your contacts. Once
you do it, you click on whomever might be on
Riya and that person can be your reference. And so
I have done that. So I didn't get approved to
(17:15):
be on Riya, but I've done bumble And that's for
another podcast, Mercedes.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
That was a bit of a show, shall we say.
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Okay, I was.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Really surprised at how many men wanted to send me
pictures of their genitalia.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Oh and I really bumble. Yeah, And I just didn't
want that. It's just not what I'm in it for.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I don't think the penis is attractive anyway, let alone
sending me a picture of it.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
I don't want it.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
I don't want it.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
I don't want it.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
Yeah, No, that's weird, and especially on the Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
I did meet a couple of guys that I went
out with that turned into second or third dates. One
guy in particular, I dated off and on for a
year and a half and I really really liked him,
cared about him, and I have nothing but wonderful things
to say. But I just think in the long run,
the things that I need to align in the long
run weren't there. Like I could never imagine introducing him
(18:09):
to my children. Yeah, and that's a huge red flag
for me.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Yeah. There was one and I can't think of the
name of it. I just thought of the name of it,
Keller International that approached me when I came off the show.
But they wanted me to pay thirty five thousand dollars.
It's a membership deal and I just didn't really feel
(18:33):
like it sort of felt like I would be I
don't want to say prostitution.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
But they wanted you to pay thirty five thousand dollars
for them to find you a man.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
So there are several apps you guys that are like
that where you have to pay a lot of ship Yep,
you pay a membership in Mercedes. It's a lot of money. Like,
it's like a thousands of dollars. I don't want to
invest that much to go on seventeen for states.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Well, I figure if if. When she called me right
afterranking off the show, she said, you know, we saw
you on the show. We think you'd be great. Da
da da da da, And of course then asked me
to go and say, I'm somebody's island. Do you know
what I'm talking about? Some guys a date an island,
some famous Hollywood person and somebody knew who It wasn't like,
(19:23):
really you got invited to go to that. I was
like yeah, And by the way, that was thirty five
thousand dollars to go there as well. You know there's
a lot.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
No, yeah, those sound like pyramid schemes to me. What
I think the three of us need to get on board.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Richard Branson, That's what it was.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, well he's listened. He's a multimillionaire for a reason.
But what I think the three of us need to
start doing is we need to all send our emails
to iHeart and and maybe what needs to happen is
they need to do the next couple of podcasts in
twenty twenty six as a matchmaking service. Maybe we need
to have a matchmaker come on and set the three
(19:56):
of us up. And now that we have done you know,
the dates, maybe we should start exploring. Because I did
hear this in Bryce's interview as well. He was like,
it was kind of hard to date with eighty other
people around. Maybe we start exploring, you know, in our
next couple of episodes, more traditional dates. And I believe
our listeners would like that as well, a more traditional
(20:17):
situation where we actually get to know someone and see
if there's something there.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
But maybe, you guys, we need.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
To talk to our producers as if they're not listening
right now, I have a match.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Ida you sound like a producer, But with that not
I mean, I'm.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Really pulling for the three of us, okay, And maybe
we need a matchmaking service here.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Can I just need to point out something. I never
got a concert date, but after watching yours concert date,
I'm going to take a hard pass on this.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Listen, Kathy, you can you can learn from our mistake.
So okay, although I would say I think Mercedes went
really well, but but yeah, let's let's you know, concerts
are fun.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
They're fun. Let's let's let's do this. Let's do this,
all right.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
I will one more question I have for you. I'm
loaded with questions. That's another thing I asked any questions.
I'm going to try to stop that too, all right,
how do you plan to prioritize loving yourself in the
new year. I stay up late night thinking of these questions.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
You're just your head.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Look at her, Mercedes, if you need her head is
just out of control.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
She's just spinning down the rabbit hole right now.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I will answer first, if that's okay, I'm already practicing this.
I have been practicing this for the last I don't
know eight plus months. Is prioritizing myself putting myself first,
and that goes across the board with everything. Because I
told you guys a lot what my prayer is when
I wake up in the morning, is like, you know,
(21:46):
thank you for my gifts. I've got a lot of them,
and I'm really, I'm really really grateful for everything that
I have and the way my life is going, in
the path that I'm going down. But truthfully, I want
to be a better woman. I want to be a
better now.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
How do you plan to do that?
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Though, I'm about to tell you Ken, oh.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Sorry, I thought you were saying just one.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
I want to bet.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Six can't come soon or not.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
We're almost there, Cathy, you just hold on tight. I
want to be a better woman.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I want to be a better mom, and I want
to be a better partner some someday. Right those are like,
those are my top three priorities right now in myself.
And so what I'm doing is I'm diving into myself
and that comes with self care, like waking up, making
sure I'm doing my prayer and my meditation. I have
to do that, you guys, to get myself right before
I can be present for anyone else. And then it's
really just feeding into myself and being really aware and
(22:37):
listening to my own intuition of what I need. And
some days I really want to go out and I
want to be social and I want to meet people,
and some days I want to lock myself in my
house and binge television and go to bed at seven
thirty at night. So I am truly just trying to
tap into my own intuition and understand what it is
that I need my soul's purpose for this upcoming year
(22:57):
and really really listen hard because I want to be
on that path, because y'all, that path has got to
be better than my own path for myself, and you
have seen me in the last year. That path has
got to be better than anything else that I have
experienced in twenty twenty five. And so I am trying
(23:17):
to sit with myself in the uncomfortable pieces and listen
to my own intuition and really be sure of those
decisions before I jump the gun.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
On those things. And a lot of that looks like
just being alone.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
I feel like for me, I feel like just taking, yeah,
taking care of myself and putting myself first and listening
to what I need. I feel like I'm a helper,
I'm a giver and I love, love, love that about myself,
but sometimes people take advantage of it. So again, like
with what I was saying earlier of me being like
(23:53):
this is me, take it if you will. Like, I
just want to be like so in the zone with
myself and know that we do have goals that we're
going to reach. But like I have to be I
have to put myself first, and sometimes that's hard for me.
But I think that once I figure out how to
do that, I'm going to be a lot happier.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
You're so wise beyond your years. It's just a really beautiful.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Thing, Diana, because honestly, my answer is a combination of
both of you. I want to spend more time in
the morning praying, meditating, getting myself right before I get
up out of bed, but also listening. Uh what you said,
Merced is sort of listening to myself. And because I
also am a gimber, I'm also checking on my friends
(24:39):
all the time, trying to help and instead of sitting
back and being a little bit quiet with myself and saying,
you know, what do you need Kathy. So it really again,
this is proof that the three of us, regardless of
the age difference, we all have the similar challenges, similar goals.
I love here.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Yeah, yeah, we're not putting on ourselves on the back
twenty six can know.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
We are not.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
No, we are not.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
I love you, guys.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I'm so glad we're doing this, and I'm really really
glad to be doing it with the both of you.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I second that second that.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Happy holidays you guys.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Happy happy Highs, Happy New Year, Happy Christmas, happy Kwanza,
whatever you're celebrating.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
Here's to twenty twenty six.
Speaker 5 (25:21):
Yes, it's gonna be a good year. I can feel
it's all going to find our.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Man fabulous here.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
If we don't find him, we'll find ourselves right exactly.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
I love you guys.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Have a great day, you guys too.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Thank you night Wow, ladies, thank you, thank you for
letting me be a part of this journey along with
all of you listeners. It's been a great fun getting
to know all of you on a deeper level and
seeing you not give up on love at any age.
I'm hoping we make some love connections in the new
year for all of you. But until then, I've been
(25:55):
Ben
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