July 28, 2025 • 37 mins
Vanderpump the brakes and forget everything you think you know about Ally Lewber. The VPR alum addresses those ‘fangirl’ accusations, clears up her current couple status and explains why her relationship with James Kennedy wasn’t chaos, it was complicated.
From what came between them, to their headline-making breakup, Ally breaks down the difference between what’s real and what’s reality TV.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey guys, welcome through another week of Casual Chaos. This week,
I have a super exciting guest. This is a long
time coming. Allie Louver, Welcome to Casual Chaos.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hello, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Thank you so much for joining Worse Night. So you've
been through a lot.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, that's a great place to start. Through a lot,
just a lot, just a lot.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Yeah, this year has definitely been heavy. I was just
thinking about it this morning. I was doing like a
little journaling because you know, I'm in my healing era,
and I was just like thinking back to January and
it feels like a lifetime ago.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I'm like, damn, yeah, I've been through a lot. This
has been an insane year.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
So it was kind of been like a crazy six
months just kind of reflecting and kind of trying to
get your groove back. I guess, like.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
A completely refresh, a completely new chapter, you know, Like
obviously breaking up with James, Like going through a breakup
is hard enough, but then it's like you got to
move out and find a new place to live, which
is not ever easy, like in a big city.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Together too. We had a dog that was honestly the
hardest part. It was hippie. Yeah that was hard. I
slept with like a stuffed golden doodle for like three months.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Oh it was his, It was his.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
And you know what makes it easier is that, like
they are literally soulmates. I believe like James and that
dog are. We're always like destined to be.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Together and they're very like, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
They just have fun, you know, and they like walk
all the time, and he'll like go rollerblading with him,
and he takes great care of him.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
So like that makes me feel good.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I just missed being better now or so much happier
because my cats did not like the.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Dog, so okay, so it was like a good separation
for the cats at least exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
My therapist is like, anytime you miss hippie, like look
at your cats and like that works really well.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yes, yeah, like because how cats were with me first.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Exactly, and now they can like come out and not
be scared of like this big annoying dog.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
You're really into astrology, right, Yes, I believe in it.
I because whenever I read anything about my Capricorn aura
and what's going on with me like that month or
that week, I'm like, yeah, you're pretty much nailing it
right on the head right now.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
You have to come on my podcast and I'll do
your bird chart because that's what I do. I just
do like people's bird charts on it. And it goes
so much more deep than just our sun sign. There's
like the rising in the moon, and then there's Mercury,
which is like how we communicate, and there's Mars, which
is like how we fight.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
So there's all these different planet.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I love to write all of these things about me
and have you dissect everything about January eighth.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yes, we will do it. We have to do it always.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
That's awesome. And how do you like find out each
one of these pieces basically because it's kind of like
a puzzle.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
It's totally a puzzle.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
You need your main birthday, your birth time, so like
the exact birth time, which you can find and like
your birth certificate or if there's any like you know,
baby announcement cards like that. Yeah, so ask your mother.
We need the birth time and then location, so where
you were.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Born okay, Okay, I know location okay, and then you
can figure it out all from there, well a software.
It's not me.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
I'm not like an actual scientist, but you plug it
into a software and then it pulls up your entire chart,
which is amazing because back in the day, astrologery'd have
to calculate it like by hand.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah, that's so cool. I love how you're fully like no, no, no, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
No, no no. I wouldn't have been able to be an
astrologery back then.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
No, but I can read the chart when the software
pulls it up, and then it's just I call it
like our cosmic blueprint for life because it has so
much from like early childhood to our destiny and.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Like where we're meant to go in life. So it's fun.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I love that. I feel, you know, even with psychics
and stuff like that, I'm very open to it and
very open to exploring it and hearing what they have
to say. Oh my god, my mom can be really
bad with the psychics, and I'm like, Mom, we need
to take it day by day. Yeah, and let the
(04:29):
weeks pass, Okay, psychic every once in a while, totally fine,
psychic every week, not doing anything for you, right, because.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Then it's like, yeah, we have to trust our own
and we're all psychic, they say, we all have that
ability to guide ourselves.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
But you know, it's not as natural.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
For some of us because especially when you're just hearing
all this information constantly, then I feel like your brain
literally becomes clouded because you're anticipating so much to have
but not actually allowing it to happen. I don't know, And.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Then it's like, are you allowing someone else to manifest
you know, something that was never going to happen, but
then because they said it, you're thinking about it, and
then thoughts become real, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
So I will see psychics now if.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I really feel like I need an answer, or if
I just am like with friends and it's kind of
like whatever, there's one like let's go in. So I
would just say like, if you feel called, do it,
but don't be so. And even with astrology, I say
the same thing, like you don't have to get a
reading if you're good and you're aligned and life is great,
and if you want to know a little bit about yourself, sure,
(05:39):
but like if you feel called, if you feel lost.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Or like what's my purpose or how can I relate
better to.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
X, Y and Z.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
It's a really helpful tool for like when you need
a little a little guidance.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I feel like it's a mood booster too, though, I
mean hopefully yeah, I mean, I know some negative things
could come, but you know, hopefully all pause it keep.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It positive because I'm always like the thing about astrology
is it's like it's all duality, and it's like there's
good and bad to every sign.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
So it's like you might as well put the good
energy out there.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
But of course there's always gonna be like rainy days,
I say, where the astrology is not the best, like
tomorrow mercury goes retrograde.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
A lot of people fear that.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Hear that all the time. I'm ready, that's just terrible.
And then I don't even know what was happening. Oh
my god. I was down the shore this past weekend
and I'm like standing there and I hadn't even had
a drink before the bar, absolutely nothing, And all of
a sudden, I like just like tip over a little bit,
and the woman like looks at me and was like,
(06:40):
are you okay? I was like, I'm so sorry, Like
my equilibrium is so off right now. And I did
not even have a drink or a sim of alcohol yet.
I am just I don't know what's going on today.
And she goes it's the full moon.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Yeah, okay, I was gonna say if it was last
week that the energy also so Uranus shifted into gem
and I like astrology of the past week and this
week is crazy.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
So yeah, I was slaying all the stars.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
She said that, I go, it's a full moon.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yeah, let's go back to the beginning for any of
the viewers who don't know. So, how did you meet James?
Like when did you guys make it official?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
We met at a club in Calabasas area, Tom Sandibal actually,
like his band was performing and one of my friends
does like content creation, and so we were backstage. I
was helping my friend and we were just hanging out.
James came up, introduced himself and it was just like
(07:42):
immediate chemistry and yeah, then we just kind of like
hung out like every day after that, started traveling together.
It was like a whirlwind romance for sure. Moved in
together pretty quickly.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Yeah, all the things.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Do you feel like it was love bombing in a way?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
You know what's crazy? I really don't. And I think
that this.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Is where this is where my astrology brain and like
my realist or like my astrology brain versus like, I
don't know it. So I've seen his chart and he's
just a lover and he's always been away. He's that
way with his family, he's that way with his friends.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
And I've heard that too. My mom has met him,
and she told me that you guys have met, and
she was like, yeah, oh my god. Like at the
time when you guys were dating, she was like, here's
a girlfriend. Is just the cutest ever, And she could
tell that you guys were genuinely just really sweet, happy people.
And even my stepdad had nothing but great things to
(08:38):
say about the both of you.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Ohso that is so sweet. No, we rep Bravo Khan
and we were doing like a couple's panel. It was
so fun.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
I remember like doing their astrology like she's a chorus,
I think, right, Yeah, we had so much fun and
they were amazing as well. Yeah, James is a total lover.
I'm more capricorn, so I'm a little more like user.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Like not into PDA as much.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
But he was always I wouldn't say it was love
bombing because he followed through with everything that he would say.
You know, It's not like he would like say all
of these things and then pull back I really don't
have any regrets, which sounds weird, and maybe that's like
my delusion.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I feel that though, Yeah, if you don't want to
regret anything that you've ever went through in your life,
you just want to learn from it and move on.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
And I did truly love him.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I really did think at times in our relationship like, oh,
this is my person.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I could see us having kids together.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
But then I think his like his anger issues were
always that, you know, our relationship would be like ninety
nine percent grade, and then that one percent would come
out every now and then and be a little like,
you know, a red flag where it's like, Okay, it's
just sad. But I'm happy that he's still sober and
he's done a bunch of programs so I've heard and things,
(09:56):
and he is a great person.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
He just has, you know, some wounds, but I wish
him the best.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Did you watch the show when James was dating no people?
Speaker 3 (10:18):
So I saw the first two to three seasons, and
I forget. I think James maybe joined three or four.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I was binge watching vander Pump. Actually I always knew
the end drama of vander Pump obviously, you know, like
Arianna and Tom Sandibal, the whole breakout, like everyone knew
about it. Then you and James had broken up. There
was a lot of drama towards the end, which was
very public, and it was like you couldn't not hear
about it. In a way, I wanted to know the
lead up and I was so interested in it. So
(10:46):
then I have to get back into it because I've
been traveling for work too. But I made it up
to when James joined vander Pump and it was like
him and La La like best for riend. Yeah tag yeah,
oh god.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
See, like I could not go back and watch it
obviously when we started dating. But you know, in the
comment section, they don't matter. I don't know who they are,
but like they would say things like, oh she was
a fan of the show or whatever, and it's like, I.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Don't live under Rock, I literally live in La. I
like Reality TV.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
It's a reality show based off of LA It was
COVID at the time, and Reality TV at that time
felt like, you know, we had friends that we were
with or something.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I also just think in general, reality TV is so relatable.
I love watching reality TV. I mean, yeah, I'm I'm
a fan. Love watching the Kardashians like Love Island, watch
all of Love Island.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah, yeah, it's like why can't we like support?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
But I never would say like I was a fan
of the show in a sense where like I never
had an intention where I think that's where people.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Think like, oh, did you like go to meet him?
Speaker 3 (12:01):
And it's like I wish like I had a like
a story like that, but no, I don't. It was
totally what is the word organic unexpected. I had just
kind of gotten out of a relationship too. I wasn't
looking for any anything, but I love the way that
we met. It was actually a really cute story and
it happened and anyway, But I had seen some episodes
(12:26):
and I definitely knew of his character type.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
His persona, I guess. So I also was a little
like cautious.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Going in to the relationship, even though it happened so
quickly and maybe it didn't seem like it.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I was very like, we need to slow down.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
We kind of did it, but if it was up
to him, we probably would have moved in.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Like day two, me and my boyfriend are six years deep,
and I'm like, what is this happening, babe? No way, really,
we started dating when we were nineteen in and I
was at Ruckers University, so there for four years and
then I graduated two years ago. I've been living home.
Now I'm making my move, which I'm excited about, just
(13:09):
to be closer to the city for work. It's mainly
just for me during the week to not have to
like deal with the traffic go back and forth.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, I can't imagine.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
It would be like the best of both worlds if
you could have like one, you know, one place there,
one place there.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Literally.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
I liked living with the boy I used to be
before James. I was like, I could never imagine living
with the boy like ew, and it was great. He
cooked and I feel like as long as they have
like skills that they're good at, it's actually really fun.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I also like when you do it together and when
it's not oh you're in charge of the laundry or
you're in charge of this, Oh this is your job
because you're a girl, Like no, babe, we are doing
all of this together.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I love that. See that is cute.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I just am absolutely like, not kitchen savvy at all,
so I made it made sure too. When James and
I started dating, I was like, you cannot like resent
me one day if you're like you never cook for me,
Like I'm telling.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
You now, I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Oh I love lie and I do love cleaning, so
I think like it worked in our situation.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
But yeah, you guys to each other out.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Oh yeah, yeah, I have to be with someone that
can cook for me. That's my non negotiable.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Oh my god, have you ever seen that girl on
TikTok who she's like, I love to host dinner parties
and it's her dinner parties. Yes, always makes the homemade
pasta like yes and always yes.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
It looks insane, insane. Yeah, I want to be her
when I grow up.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
She reminds me of like one of the moms that
when you send your kids to school with lunch with
like the heart sheep, yes.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
And the note that's like my whole feed though, is
just like interior design and like hosting.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
And yeah, did you ever like hear from any of
your friends or anyone like that that there was maybe
some red flag behavior.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
No, and a lot of my friends had met him again,
like he was following through and it was just so natural.
So and my friends, most of them hadn't seen the show,
and the ones that did were a little like, m
this guy is a little questionable. But then when they
(15:17):
met him, they were like, oh, he seems to have
like grown up a lot, and he seems way.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
More mature than on the show. My family met him
and like fell in love with him.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And that's hard when you're like, oh, my family approved.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
I know, I know, I was like, mom, but you
cannot watch any of the show please.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
It was more the cast.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
I feel like when we started filming and I like
got introduced, I guess to that world.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Like that's when obviously people were.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
A little like I feel like with James, he would
grow and evob and then like we, like a lot
of us, do we go back to our old ways
or we fond of like self sabotage a little bit.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So I'm proud of him now. I feel like he
has grown already so much.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
And I think our break up as sad as it was, like,
I think it needed to happen for him to really
like grow on his own, like without a girlfriend, without
support like that.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Well it must have been hard to because you guys
really did have such a great and loving and happy relationship.
But then it was almost like there were so many highs,
but then when there were lows, they were really low,
and it's difficult when that person repetitively can't fix those patterns.
And that was really what tore you guys apart exactly.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
It was the lack of trust eventually and then just
the fear of like, Okay, I'm either going to like,
you know, what is the saying. It's like, Okay, I'm
either going to break up with you and maybe one
day regret it, or I'm going to stay with you
and one day regret it.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
And it's like at the.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Age that I'm at now, it's I gotta just love
myself more.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Than I loved him and choose me.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
And that is not easy, Like for anyone that ever
goes through any situation or break like, it's hard because
you do you're like your souls are attached, you know,
and it's it's not fun. So I think for me,
I was so grateful I had. I have a great therapist,
my mom came and stayed with me in La for
like a month. I have a great circle of friends here.
(17:19):
So luckily, like I just tried to spend like balance
my time of like bubble baths and healing and then
seeing friends and like you know, having their support, like
that's yeah, what helped me.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Was it hard for you to really come out and
talk about it publicly? Did it just make you uncomfortable
or were you more so just unsure of how to
move forward.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
It's like a mix, and I feel like I went
through phases like obviously, like at the beginning when everything
like broke in the headlines, it was like embarrassing and
it's like, oh.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Okay, cool, like now I have to face this.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
When it's like I was already dealing with it, you know,
like myself, but that's with my Capricorn and I try
not to involve people. I think, okay, I can handle
it myself, like everything's fine, don't worry, don't look over here.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
So I think it was more of.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Like okay, And then the way that I usually look
at things is I'm like, the universe put this out there,
this is what was meant to happen.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I have to deal with it.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
But it was uncomfortable because I'm not really as like
used to. I don't know public stuff as I guess
James's or people have been on shows for a while,
but it actually, weirdly, now I'm grateful for it. Like
at first, I was like, fuck my life, this is
so embarrassing and cool, like everyone.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Knows my shit.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
I'm gonna go hide in my baptob like, but now,
looking back, weirdly, I'm grateful because I do think it
made me have to face it and also like the
fans and people that were supporting me like that also
gave me so much strength and like, I don't know,
you know, time heals everything.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I just had to be away for a.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Bit to kind of get my head clear, and then
when I started to process everything, I got a little
more comfortable with like talking about it and stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I know, I feel like the fan supports though, and
hearing other people's feedback of what happened and how they
can relate to you and how you helped them it
makes you feel better, you know, and it makes you
also feel like you're not alone.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Yeah, totally, Because at first, like the first week, I
was like, oh, they're all like shitting on James and
like that. It was like making me more sad. But
then after a while I feel like again I had
to go through this process of like, Okay, what.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Am I doing?
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Like what is my life? So it was weird, but
I'm really grateful. Now I'm in my own apartment. I
love where I live. I'm still working and doing my readings,
and I'm grateful for my podcast. So I'm busy and yeah,
I feel like if I would have if I could
have told myself in January like I'd be here now,
(20:03):
that would have been nice.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
I mean, you knew you were going to get there totally,
But would you say that it was a regret or no?
Speaker 3 (20:13):
No, I have no regrets. I think everything felt how
it was meant to fall. I'm happy I trusted my
gut also to be out completely fair. I don't even
know if I was in a place at that time
to trust my gut. I feel like my mom was
more like you're leaving, You're coming to this airbnb with me.
You need to get away from this situation for a minute,
(20:34):
just so she could be with me to understand everything.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
So I'm grateful for her. After being away, it helped me.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Then I was able to like get my nervous system
back to normal, think normally.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Then I could trust my gut and understood.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Okay, this is like the direction I need to go,
and it's the other way.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Yeah, Mom's no best. My mom always says that to me.
She's like, Gia, don't ever ever tell me that I'm wrong.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
Yes, no, my mom is the same way, same way, like,
oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
And it's it's hard, but even that, like trust, learning
to trust your friends and your mom and stuff too,
and just like you really see who is in your corner,
like when you go through stuff like that, and like
it was really kind.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Of bittersweet because I feel like my.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Friends were just so awesome during that time, so it
was hard. Like I was able to still feel gratitude
and like you know, not get too depressed or anything,
like I was okay.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Oh wow, that makes me so happy. If you could
have gone back and ended things earlier, do you think
you would have or are you happy with your journey?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Ooh see. I feel like.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
I believe everything happens in its own timeline, but.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Maybe a little earlier to resolve like the.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Dramaticness of everything, it all went the way that it
should have. And I think too, for like people listening,
it is so hard to get out of any relationship,
let alone one that is a bit toxic.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I know, the feeling of just little things. You know,
I've never been in like a fully toxic relationship. I've
like gone through lessons in past relationships that where it
kind of like tests you in a way and makes
you feel that feeling. But it's almost like you don't
want to lea You feel gravitated and you feel like
the person is going to change, and you keep going.
(22:42):
It's a cycle that just keeps repeating itself, and you
think that it's going to get better until an explosion happens,
and if you choose to stay, you almost look silly,
and then if you choose to leave, you're like, wow,
but this hurts so bad because I actually will kind
of want to go back right now.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Yes, It's like that's what I would always think, and like, Okay,
I'm a fool if I stay, But I'm like if
I go, I feel bad for that person or like
I'm giving up on that person. So it's like, do
I be the healer that wants to make sure you're good?
You know it's hard.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Yeah, you can't really win.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
You kind of just have to do what you need
to do for yourself, get to the other side and
be grateful.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
You've been on reality TV since you graduated high school.
And I thought this was so funny, So wait, explain
to me more about the reality TV show called The Valley,
because I heard this and I'm like, wait, Bravo has
a reality TV show now, I called The Valley.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Weird things in my life have always like seemed to
do full circle things. So in high school, they had
what is it called, I.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Guess they had.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
It was just like this thing at the mall, I think,
and it was like for a reality show. I play
guitar and sing, and I was going to college for music,
so I was like, oh my god, this could be
a fun opportunity whatever. And I auditioned an audition and
then I got on and it was me and a
few friends and we ended up filming like two seasons
(24:13):
and it was so fun, but I was awful at it,
Like I remember even the producers being like, oh, you're
just god, You're so boring, like because I was just
so like people pleasing at that age, which I still
kind of am, but I think I've gotten out of
that a little bit. But I was like just like
so like ah, like wanting everyone to get along, which
we know that's not like great TV.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
So I definitely, you know, was like.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Well, that was a fun experience, but I knew, like, okay,
reality TV is like you have to be willing to
really be your authentic self. So yeah, just wild to
have them. When I started dating James, it all kind
of came back around. And then now Bravo has a
show called The Valley.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I know, weird. I was like, wait, what so weird?
Speaker 2 (24:55):
I know?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
I know how you feel like you were kind of
like always a people pleaser and always wanted to please everyone.
Do you feel like now, looking back, you kind of
did that, especially Lisa and James and maybe the people
around you, to keep maybe the core together of Van
or Pump rules, Like do you felt like you were
(25:16):
very manipulated in that sense to try to stay with
James a little longer. I just felt like that holds
a lot of pressure because you guys were filming together
on a show. This is all happening, yeah, and almost
to keep the show together. Not that obviously, you know,
you have to do it makes you happy, but there's
definitely pressure of this is our life, like this is
(25:39):
my life, Like, yeah, we came onto this I came
onto this show because we were dating. Yeah, my platform
is to where we are now. I guess because he
brought me onto vander Pump exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I feel like it was. I didn't really feel a
lot of pressure.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
I felt more of like and I always said from
the beginning, like I'm here to support James, like this
is my boyfriend's job. And yes, I did become more involved,
but at the end of the day, I always was like, Okay,
I'm here to support James. And then when I did
form like more natural connections with the girls and things,
that's when it was hard because that's when they you know,
I was like, she never'ss Ariana and that had nothing.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
To really do with James. This was like, okay, who
do I like what?
Speaker 3 (26:24):
And I just had to like trust my gut and
I was like, I love she know, we're still really close.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I was with her the other.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Night, but she knew that I fully you know, supported
Ariana and not wanting to see Tom Sandoval because why
would she. So I feel like I did a good
job of being like these are my feelings and thoughts,
but I'm still going to somehow and I'm a Libra Moon,
(26:51):
so I'm like a natural, like I can't help it.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
It's like I want to keep the peace.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
But I feel like during the last season, I just
was kind of could be there for anyone who needed me.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I guess because at the end of the day, like.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
You know, Sheen and Arianna's friendship, it spans decades, so
it was hard for both of.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Them, and it was I don't even know. I did
what I guess I could do.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
At that time, but not pressure to try to keep
everyone together. I think it was more of just my
I honestly think I was That's just how I would
have been in reality. You know. It's like wanting to
kind of make sure they're okay and then make sure
that they're okay, and they weren't.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
But that's all right too.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
When you were filming Fan or Pump Rules, did any
of your castmates ever, you know, ask you if you
were okay or question the behavior or no, or did
they just think it was like James, like this is James.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
They didn't really, they didn't really trying.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
To think at the beginning of our relationship because James
was drinking at that time and I didn't know him
that well, and they were like, Ali, he's not a
good drinker, and I'm like okay, Like yeah, James, like
maybe you shouldn't drink, you know. So the first season
was like a lot of talking about that, and then
he finally did get sober, and then I mean he
(28:21):
was great. He was the number one guy for a minute.
I mean he became friends with Katie again. So like
it really did seem like everything was like he was
evolving and good and then it wasn't, and you know
that's life. But no, yeah, really, they they were always
very supportive of our relationship. And then after everything happened, obviously, yeah,
(28:43):
they all like checked it in on me and made
sure I was okay and everything like that.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
And then who are you really close with now? From
the vander pumpcast now that the show is over, I.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Am closest with Sheena.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
I'm really good friends with Courtney, who was Sheena's younger sister.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
She's my age. Oh okay, yeah, we just went to
lead together. Wait.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
I was gonna say, you have to tell me all
about your Italy trip.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
You you too? I was like, sleigh, every picture was
so cuteful.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
It's literally the best place earth.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
It's literally heaven on earth. It was my first time.
Was it yours?
Speaker 3 (29:15):
No?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I really, Oh my god. It was my first time
in Florence, and then I loved Florence. It was amazing
on the Amafi coast, absolutely stunning and just Posteditano and everything.
What's Dona was my favorite place on the Amafi coast
and I was just in heaven. The food, the drinks,
(29:39):
the people, like just the scenery.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Yeah, it matched. Actually, it exceeded all my expectations. And
it's been on my bucket list for so long.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
I can't wait to go back.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
All right, once you leave, like you already you're planning
your literally next trip because you're like, okay, how can
I make it back here?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
I know, right, I know.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I always say this about Italy. You can turn a
corner or go somewhere and you will see something new
every step that you take.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
It's so true.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
I love that, and it feels so it's so walkable
and like small point but yet yeah there's beauty.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Ever, oh you walk everywhere where? Do you see yourself
going forward in life with your dating life?
Speaker 2 (30:22):
I feel like at this point I'm not like.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Ready, honestly, you did all the right things so far,
like honestly, like beyond, you've taken your time to heal.
You're in therapy, You're really just like taking your time,
and you just had an amazing vacation in Italy, so
you're checking everything off the list.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
It was, yeah, and I did have like a little
fling in Italy, like a love but like that's over now.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
So like I'm just kind of having fun and like
living life.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
I don't see myself doing dating apps or anything, and
bad enough at texting my mom back, so that probably.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Isn't for me.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Yeah, I'm like really just focused on like my career
and friendships.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I feel like that's the best part when you are
freshly single. You're like the fun kissing just random yeah,
and like kissing in a bar. I'm like, wait, this
is so fun. I feel the butterflies again. I am
in high school. This is crazy.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, it's so scary and so fun.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
That's the best feeling about it. And you're like, wow,
miss this feeling. And I get it why people are
like I don't want a boyfriend. I love being single.
I'm like, yeah, the freedom is real.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
The freedom's real.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
I feel like for me too, just have it. Like
I poured so much into that relationship. I mean, he
poured a lot into me too. I feel like we
I know it doesn't look good, but we had a
pretty healthy relationship for majority, but I just yeah, like
poured so much into that that it's also like I'm
not ready to like give my energy to someone else yet,
like my energy so not ready to like go there,
(32:01):
do you know what I mean? Like with someone, But
but yeah, the grass is always greener. And also being
in a relationship is amazing. Being single amazing.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Enjoy whatever, and you will find your person because you
have such a such a beautiful light to you and
you're so positive. This was like you really are. You
have like just I love I love your energy, I
love your aura. It's very very positive. And someone's going
to accept that so much, and not that he didn't,
(32:33):
but it just maybe it was right person, wrong time.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
That's so you will find your person.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
And I know a lot of the fans, like you
said earlier, were really positive on just giving you feedback
and giving you their love and support. Is there any
advice that you would give to any one going through.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
This, anyone going through that, to tell someone and to
even if it's like, oh, you know, my boyfriend did
this kind of controlling thing or like whatever whatever.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I feel like it's not easy.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
You want to protect them and you see only the
good in them, and that's natural. And I guess my
advice would be to just be as honest as you
can with your friends and family, and then if you
do go through a breakup or if you need to
get out of a relationship, lean on friends, lean on
(33:31):
family as much as you can.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Obviously, for people.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Who don't feel like they have a community, there's hotlines
and numbers and all of that too, But yeah, I
just feel I just feel grateful that I had a community,
Like I just don't know how like what I would
have done without that community. So I'm grateful for that.
And also to just trust yourself and.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
To breathe and.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Yeah, have faith and the fact that it'll all work
out how it can to.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
I don't know. I'm really not.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Like an expert, so I don't want to like speak
on what you should do.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
But I guess that's kind of my what helped me.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
It makes total sense because it is true. Sometimes you
are a little blinded by the person that you love,
and you always want to see the best in that person,
but sometimes you need somebody else just to make you
aware that there is.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
Better, yes, and to remind you like you're this age
and this is do you want to be stuck? My
mom has been married three times, like every woman in
my life, and I respect and love they've been through
so much. So like when they are giving me advice,
like I trust that.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
You know, oh my god, we'll go off. You are
killing it. And what are you up to right now
with your career and what's going on in your life.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
I am doing a lot of traveling.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
I've had so much, as you should.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Yeah, it has been quite the summer of travel, as
you know too. And then my podcast starts Jack, I've
been like pouring a lot of energy into that, and
then I'm still doing some readings on the side, like
with clients and things and just having fun but like working,
trying to find a good balance honestly of like fun
and work.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
That's kind of where my focus is right now. I know.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Got to work hard and play hard at the same time.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Yes, yeah, I think I told your mom that when
she said she was Chorice like you work hard and
play hard.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Yes, No, she literally does.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
She's crazy and people don't probably see that on the show.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
You know.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
No, yeah, of course they don't. She's literally in Australia
right now, doing a bunch of appearances in several different cities.
Oh yeah, crazy. And she's you know, traveling to all
these different cities doing her appearances, and you know how
exhausting appearances are, just from like going back and forth
to them and doing that flying back and forth, long
(35:56):
car rides. She'll finally be home on Saturday.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
So I'm so excited, and you guys have to spend
some like quality mom daughter time together. Definitely need your
like grounding energy after all that.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, yeah, she's like I miss you. I'm like, I
miss you too. We'll do a beach day.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Oh that's so cute. I take to Jersey. I've never been.
I would go to New York City a lot, but.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I've never Okay, Well, when you're in New York, definitely
text me and let's get lunch, dinner. We'll definitely meet
up because I would love love to see you me too.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
I know we have to meet in person and I'll
do your bird chart please.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
I really want to get this done. Yes, okay, I'm
holding you.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
To your mom. We got to get the birth time.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
I'll look at my birth certificate and get it back
to you perfect.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Yep, there we go. Sim you're in business all right.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Well, you're such a beautiful soul. Thank you so much
for coming on my podcast. I hope you enjoyed this
as much as I did. And until next week, guys,
Ali Louver.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Thank you guys.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Bye St
Hey guys, welcome through another week of Casual Chaos. This week,
I have a super exciting guest. This is a long
time coming. Allie Louver, Welcome to Casual Chaos.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hello, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Thank you so much for joining Worse Night. So you've
been through a lot.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, that's a great place to start. Through a lot,
just a lot, just a lot.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Yeah, this year has definitely been heavy. I was just
thinking about it this morning. I was doing like a
little journaling because you know, I'm in my healing era,
and I was just like thinking back to January and
it feels like a lifetime ago.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I'm like, damn, yeah, I've been through a lot. This
has been an insane year.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
So it was kind of been like a crazy six
months just kind of reflecting and kind of trying to
get your groove back. I guess, like.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
A completely refresh, a completely new chapter, you know, Like
obviously breaking up with James, Like going through a breakup
is hard enough, but then it's like you got to
move out and find a new place to live, which
is not ever easy, like in a big city.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Together too. We had a dog that was honestly the
hardest part. It was hippie. Yeah that was hard. I
slept with like a stuffed golden doodle for like three months.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Oh it was his, It was his.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
And you know what makes it easier is that, like
they are literally soulmates. I believe like James and that
dog are. We're always like destined to be.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Together and they're very like, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
They just have fun, you know, and they like walk
all the time, and he'll like go rollerblading with him,
and he takes great care of him.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
So like that makes me feel good.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I just missed being better now or so much happier
because my cats did not like the.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Dog, so okay, so it was like a good separation
for the cats at least exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
My therapist is like, anytime you miss hippie, like look
at your cats and like that works really well.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yes, yeah, like because how cats were with me first.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Exactly, and now they can like come out and not
be scared of like this big annoying dog.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
You're really into astrology, right, Yes, I believe in it.
I because whenever I read anything about my Capricorn aura
and what's going on with me like that month or
that week, I'm like, yeah, you're pretty much nailing it
right on the head right now.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
You have to come on my podcast and I'll do
your bird chart because that's what I do. I just
do like people's bird charts on it. And it goes
so much more deep than just our sun sign. There's
like the rising in the moon, and then there's Mercury,
which is like how we communicate, and there's Mars, which
is like how we fight.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
So there's all these different planet.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I love to write all of these things about me
and have you dissect everything about January eighth.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yes, we will do it. We have to do it always.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
That's awesome. And how do you like find out each
one of these pieces basically because it's kind of like
a puzzle.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
It's totally a puzzle.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
You need your main birthday, your birth time, so like
the exact birth time, which you can find and like
your birth certificate or if there's any like you know,
baby announcement cards like that. Yeah, so ask your mother.
We need the birth time and then location, so where
you were.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Born okay, Okay, I know location okay, and then you
can figure it out all from there, well a software.
It's not me.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
I'm not like an actual scientist, but you plug it
into a software and then it pulls up your entire chart,
which is amazing because back in the day, astrologery'd have
to calculate it like by hand.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah, that's so cool. I love how you're fully like no, no, no, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
No, no no. I wouldn't have been able to be an
astrologery back then.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
No, but I can read the chart when the software
pulls it up, and then it's just I call it
like our cosmic blueprint for life because it has so
much from like early childhood to our destiny and.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Like where we're meant to go in life. So it's fun.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I love that. I feel, you know, even with psychics
and stuff like that, I'm very open to it and
very open to exploring it and hearing what they have
to say. Oh my god, my mom can be really
bad with the psychics, and I'm like, Mom, we need
to take it day by day. Yeah, and let the
(04:29):
weeks pass, Okay, psychic every once in a while, totally fine,
psychic every week, not doing anything for you, right, because.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Then it's like, yeah, we have to trust our own
and we're all psychic, they say, we all have that
ability to guide ourselves.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
But you know, it's not as natural.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
For some of us because especially when you're just hearing
all this information constantly, then I feel like your brain
literally becomes clouded because you're anticipating so much to have
but not actually allowing it to happen. I don't know, And.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Then it's like, are you allowing someone else to manifest
you know, something that was never going to happen, but
then because they said it, you're thinking about it, and
then thoughts become real, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
So I will see psychics now if.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I really feel like I need an answer, or if
I just am like with friends and it's kind of
like whatever, there's one like let's go in. So I
would just say like, if you feel called, do it,
but don't be so. And even with astrology, I say
the same thing, like you don't have to get a
reading if you're good and you're aligned and life is great,
and if you want to know a little bit about yourself, sure,
(05:39):
but like if you feel called, if you feel lost.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Or like what's my purpose or how can I relate
better to.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
X, Y and Z.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
It's a really helpful tool for like when you need
a little a little guidance.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I feel like it's a mood booster too, though, I
mean hopefully yeah, I mean, I know some negative things
could come, but you know, hopefully all pause it keep.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It positive because I'm always like the thing about astrology
is it's like it's all duality, and it's like there's
good and bad to every sign.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
So it's like you might as well put the good
energy out there.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
But of course there's always gonna be like rainy days,
I say, where the astrology is not the best, like
tomorrow mercury goes retrograde.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
A lot of people fear that.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Hear that all the time. I'm ready, that's just terrible.
And then I don't even know what was happening. Oh
my god. I was down the shore this past weekend
and I'm like standing there and I hadn't even had
a drink before the bar, absolutely nothing, And all of
a sudden, I like just like tip over a little bit,
and the woman like looks at me and was like,
(06:40):
are you okay? I was like, I'm so sorry, Like
my equilibrium is so off right now. And I did
not even have a drink or a sim of alcohol yet.
I am just I don't know what's going on today.
And she goes it's the full moon.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Yeah, okay, I was gonna say if it was last
week that the energy also so Uranus shifted into gem
and I like astrology of the past week and this
week is crazy.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
So yeah, I was slaying all the stars.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
She said that, I go, it's a full moon.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yeah, let's go back to the beginning for any of
the viewers who don't know. So, how did you meet James?
Like when did you guys make it official?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
We met at a club in Calabasas area, Tom Sandibal actually,
like his band was performing and one of my friends
does like content creation, and so we were backstage. I
was helping my friend and we were just hanging out.
James came up, introduced himself and it was just like
(07:42):
immediate chemistry and yeah, then we just kind of like
hung out like every day after that, started traveling together.
It was like a whirlwind romance for sure. Moved in
together pretty quickly.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Yeah, all the things.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Do you feel like it was love bombing in a way?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
You know what's crazy? I really don't. And I think
that this.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Is where this is where my astrology brain and like
my realist or like my astrology brain versus like, I
don't know it. So I've seen his chart and he's
just a lover and he's always been away. He's that
way with his family, he's that way with his friends.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
And I've heard that too. My mom has met him,
and she told me that you guys have met, and
she was like, yeah, oh my god. Like at the
time when you guys were dating, she was like, here's
a girlfriend. Is just the cutest ever, And she could
tell that you guys were genuinely just really sweet, happy people.
And even my stepdad had nothing but great things to
(08:38):
say about the both of you.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Ohso that is so sweet. No, we rep Bravo Khan
and we were doing like a couple's panel. It was
so fun.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
I remember like doing their astrology like she's a chorus,
I think, right, Yeah, we had so much fun and
they were amazing as well. Yeah, James is a total lover.
I'm more capricorn, so I'm a little more like user.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Like not into PDA as much.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
But he was always I wouldn't say it was love
bombing because he followed through with everything that he would say.
You know, It's not like he would like say all
of these things and then pull back I really don't
have any regrets, which sounds weird, and maybe that's like
my delusion.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I feel that though, Yeah, if you don't want to
regret anything that you've ever went through in your life,
you just want to learn from it and move on.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
And I did truly love him.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I really did think at times in our relationship like, oh,
this is my person.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I could see us having kids together.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
But then I think his like his anger issues were
always that, you know, our relationship would be like ninety
nine percent grade, and then that one percent would come
out every now and then and be a little like,
you know, a red flag where it's like, Okay, it's
just sad. But I'm happy that he's still sober and
he's done a bunch of programs so I've heard and things,
(09:56):
and he is a great person.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
He just has, you know, some wounds, but I wish
him the best.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Did you watch the show when James was dating no people?
Speaker 3 (10:18):
So I saw the first two to three seasons, and
I forget. I think James maybe joined three or four.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I was binge watching vander Pump. Actually I always knew
the end drama of vander Pump obviously, you know, like
Arianna and Tom Sandibal, the whole breakout, like everyone knew
about it. Then you and James had broken up. There
was a lot of drama towards the end, which was
very public, and it was like you couldn't not hear
about it. In a way, I wanted to know the
lead up and I was so interested in it. So
(10:46):
then I have to get back into it because I've
been traveling for work too. But I made it up
to when James joined vander Pump and it was like
him and La La like best for riend. Yeah tag yeah,
oh god.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
See, like I could not go back and watch it
obviously when we started dating. But you know, in the
comment section, they don't matter. I don't know who they are,
but like they would say things like, oh she was
a fan of the show or whatever, and it's like, I.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Don't live under Rock, I literally live in La. I
like Reality TV.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
It's a reality show based off of LA It was
COVID at the time, and Reality TV at that time
felt like, you know, we had friends that we were
with or something.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I also just think in general, reality TV is so relatable.
I love watching reality TV. I mean, yeah, I'm I'm
a fan. Love watching the Kardashians like Love Island, watch
all of Love Island.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah, yeah, it's like why can't we like support?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
But I never would say like I was a fan
of the show in a sense where like I never
had an intention where I think that's where people.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Think like, oh, did you like go to meet him?
Speaker 3 (12:01):
And it's like I wish like I had a like
a story like that, but no, I don't. It was
totally what is the word organic unexpected. I had just
kind of gotten out of a relationship too. I wasn't
looking for any anything, but I love the way that
we met. It was actually a really cute story and
it happened and anyway, But I had seen some episodes
(12:26):
and I definitely knew of his character type.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
His persona, I guess. So I also was a little
like cautious.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Going in to the relationship, even though it happened so
quickly and maybe it didn't seem like it.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I was very like, we need to slow down.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
We kind of did it, but if it was up
to him, we probably would have moved in.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Like day two, me and my boyfriend are six years deep,
and I'm like, what is this happening, babe? No way, really,
we started dating when we were nineteen in and I
was at Ruckers University, so there for four years and
then I graduated two years ago. I've been living home.
Now I'm making my move, which I'm excited about, just
(13:09):
to be closer to the city for work. It's mainly
just for me during the week to not have to
like deal with the traffic go back and forth.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, I can't imagine.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
It would be like the best of both worlds if
you could have like one, you know, one place there,
one place there.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Literally.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
I liked living with the boy I used to be
before James. I was like, I could never imagine living
with the boy like ew, and it was great. He
cooked and I feel like as long as they have
like skills that they're good at, it's actually really fun.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I also like when you do it together and when
it's not oh you're in charge of the laundry or
you're in charge of this, Oh this is your job
because you're a girl, Like no, babe, we are doing
all of this together.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I love that. See that is cute.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I just am absolutely like, not kitchen savvy at all,
so I made it made sure too. When James and
I started dating, I was like, you cannot like resent
me one day if you're like you never cook for me,
Like I'm telling.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
You now, I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Oh I love lie and I do love cleaning, so
I think like it worked in our situation.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
But yeah, you guys to each other out.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Oh yeah, yeah, I have to be with someone that
can cook for me. That's my non negotiable.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Oh my god, have you ever seen that girl on
TikTok who she's like, I love to host dinner parties
and it's her dinner parties. Yes, always makes the homemade
pasta like yes and always yes.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
It looks insane, insane. Yeah, I want to be her
when I grow up.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
She reminds me of like one of the moms that
when you send your kids to school with lunch with
like the heart sheep, yes.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
And the note that's like my whole feed though, is
just like interior design and like hosting.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
And yeah, did you ever like hear from any of
your friends or anyone like that that there was maybe
some red flag behavior.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
No, and a lot of my friends had met him again,
like he was following through and it was just so natural.
So and my friends, most of them hadn't seen the show,
and the ones that did were a little like, m
this guy is a little questionable. But then when they
(15:17):
met him, they were like, oh, he seems to have
like grown up a lot, and he seems way.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
More mature than on the show. My family met him
and like fell in love with him.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And that's hard when you're like, oh, my family approved.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
I know, I know, I was like, mom, but you
cannot watch any of the show please.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
It was more the cast.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
I feel like when we started filming and I like
got introduced, I guess to that world.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Like that's when obviously people were.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
A little like I feel like with James, he would
grow and evob and then like we, like a lot
of us, do we go back to our old ways
or we fond of like self sabotage a little bit.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So I'm proud of him now. I feel like he
has grown already so much.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
And I think our break up as sad as it was, like,
I think it needed to happen for him to really
like grow on his own, like without a girlfriend, without
support like that.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Well it must have been hard to because you guys
really did have such a great and loving and happy relationship.
But then it was almost like there were so many highs,
but then when there were lows, they were really low,
and it's difficult when that person repetitively can't fix those patterns.
And that was really what tore you guys apart exactly.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
It was the lack of trust eventually and then just
the fear of like, Okay, I'm either going to like,
you know, what is the saying. It's like, Okay, I'm
either going to break up with you and maybe one
day regret it, or I'm going to stay with you
and one day regret it.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
And it's like at the.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Age that I'm at now, it's I gotta just love
myself more.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Than I loved him and choose me.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
And that is not easy, Like for anyone that ever
goes through any situation or break like, it's hard because
you do you're like your souls are attached, you know,
and it's it's not fun. So I think for me,
I was so grateful I had. I have a great therapist,
my mom came and stayed with me in La for
like a month. I have a great circle of friends here.
(17:19):
So luckily, like I just tried to spend like balance
my time of like bubble baths and healing and then
seeing friends and like you know, having their support, like
that's yeah, what helped me.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Was it hard for you to really come out and
talk about it publicly? Did it just make you uncomfortable
or were you more so just unsure of how to
move forward.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
It's like a mix, and I feel like I went
through phases like obviously, like at the beginning when everything
like broke in the headlines, it was like embarrassing and
it's like, oh.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Okay, cool, like now I have to face this.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
When it's like I was already dealing with it, you know,
like myself, but that's with my Capricorn and I try
not to involve people. I think, okay, I can handle
it myself, like everything's fine, don't worry, don't look over here.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
So I think it was more of.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Like okay, And then the way that I usually look
at things is I'm like, the universe put this out there,
this is what was meant to happen.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I have to deal with it.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
But it was uncomfortable because I'm not really as like
used to. I don't know public stuff as I guess
James's or people have been on shows for a while,
but it actually, weirdly, now I'm grateful for it. Like
at first, I was like, fuck my life, this is
so embarrassing and cool, like everyone.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Knows my shit.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
I'm gonna go hide in my baptob like, but now,
looking back, weirdly, I'm grateful because I do think it
made me have to face it and also like the
fans and people that were supporting me like that also
gave me so much strength and like, I don't know,
you know, time heals everything.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I just had to be away for a.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Bit to kind of get my head clear, and then
when I started to process everything, I got a little
more comfortable with like talking about it and stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I know, I feel like the fan supports though, and
hearing other people's feedback of what happened and how they
can relate to you and how you helped them it
makes you feel better, you know, and it makes you
also feel like you're not alone.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Yeah, totally, Because at first, like the first week, I
was like, oh, they're all like shitting on James and
like that. It was like making me more sad. But
then after a while I feel like again I had
to go through this process of like, Okay, what.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Am I doing?
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Like what is my life? So it was weird, but
I'm really grateful. Now I'm in my own apartment. I
love where I live. I'm still working and doing my readings,
and I'm grateful for my podcast. So I'm busy and yeah,
I feel like if I would have if I could
have told myself in January like I'd be here now,
(20:03):
that would have been nice.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
I mean, you knew you were going to get there totally,
But would you say that it was a regret or no?
Speaker 3 (20:13):
No, I have no regrets. I think everything felt how
it was meant to fall. I'm happy I trusted my
gut also to be out completely fair. I don't even
know if I was in a place at that time
to trust my gut. I feel like my mom was
more like you're leaving, You're coming to this airbnb with me.
You need to get away from this situation for a minute,
(20:34):
just so she could be with me to understand everything.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
So I'm grateful for her. After being away, it helped me.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Then I was able to like get my nervous system
back to normal, think normally.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Then I could trust my gut and understood.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Okay, this is like the direction I need to go,
and it's the other way.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Yeah, Mom's no best. My mom always says that to me.
She's like, Gia, don't ever ever tell me that I'm wrong.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
Yes, no, my mom is the same way, same way, like,
oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
And it's it's hard, but even that, like trust, learning
to trust your friends and your mom and stuff too,
and just like you really see who is in your corner,
like when you go through stuff like that, and like
it was really kind.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Of bittersweet because I feel like my.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Friends were just so awesome during that time, so it
was hard. Like I was able to still feel gratitude
and like you know, not get too depressed or anything,
like I was okay.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Oh wow, that makes me so happy. If you could
have gone back and ended things earlier, do you think
you would have or are you happy with your journey?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Ooh see. I feel like.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
I believe everything happens in its own timeline, but.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Maybe a little earlier to resolve like the.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Dramaticness of everything, it all went the way that it
should have. And I think too, for like people listening,
it is so hard to get out of any relationship,
let alone one that is a bit toxic.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I know, the feeling of just little things. You know,
I've never been in like a fully toxic relationship. I've
like gone through lessons in past relationships that where it
kind of like tests you in a way and makes
you feel that feeling. But it's almost like you don't
want to lea You feel gravitated and you feel like
the person is going to change, and you keep going.
(22:42):
It's a cycle that just keeps repeating itself, and you
think that it's going to get better until an explosion happens,
and if you choose to stay, you almost look silly,
and then if you choose to leave, you're like, wow,
but this hurts so bad because I actually will kind
of want to go back right now.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Yes, It's like that's what I would always think, and like, Okay,
I'm a fool if I stay, But I'm like if
I go, I feel bad for that person or like
I'm giving up on that person. So it's like, do
I be the healer that wants to make sure you're good?
You know it's hard.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Yeah, you can't really win.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
You kind of just have to do what you need
to do for yourself, get to the other side and
be grateful.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
You've been on reality TV since you graduated high school.
And I thought this was so funny, So wait, explain
to me more about the reality TV show called The Valley,
because I heard this and I'm like, wait, Bravo has
a reality TV show now, I called The Valley.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Weird things in my life have always like seemed to
do full circle things. So in high school, they had
what is it called, I.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Guess they had.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
It was just like this thing at the mall, I think,
and it was like for a reality show. I play
guitar and sing, and I was going to college for music,
so I was like, oh my god, this could be
a fun opportunity whatever. And I auditioned an audition and
then I got on and it was me and a
few friends and we ended up filming like two seasons
(24:13):
and it was so fun, but I was awful at it,
Like I remember even the producers being like, oh, you're
just god, You're so boring, like because I was just
so like people pleasing at that age, which I still
kind of am, but I think I've gotten out of
that a little bit. But I was like just like
so like ah, like wanting everyone to get along, which
we know that's not like great TV.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
So I definitely, you know, was like.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Well, that was a fun experience, but I knew, like, okay,
reality TV is like you have to be willing to
really be your authentic self. So yeah, just wild to
have them. When I started dating James, it all kind
of came back around. And then now Bravo has a
show called The Valley.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I know, weird. I was like, wait, what so weird?
Speaker 2 (24:55):
I know?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
I know how you feel like you were kind of
like always a people pleaser and always wanted to please everyone.
Do you feel like now, looking back, you kind of
did that, especially Lisa and James and maybe the people
around you, to keep maybe the core together of Van
or Pump rules, Like do you felt like you were
(25:16):
very manipulated in that sense to try to stay with
James a little longer. I just felt like that holds
a lot of pressure because you guys were filming together
on a show. This is all happening, yeah, and almost
to keep the show together. Not that obviously, you know,
you have to do it makes you happy, but there's
definitely pressure of this is our life, like this is
(25:39):
my life, Like, yeah, we came onto this I came
onto this show because we were dating. Yeah, my platform
is to where we are now. I guess because he
brought me onto vander Pump exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I feel like it was. I didn't really feel a
lot of pressure.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
I felt more of like and I always said from
the beginning, like I'm here to support James, like this
is my boyfriend's job. And yes, I did become more involved,
but at the end of the day, I always was like, Okay,
I'm here to support James. And then when I did
form like more natural connections with the girls and things,
that's when it was hard because that's when they you know,
I was like, she never'ss Ariana and that had nothing.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
To really do with James. This was like, okay, who
do I like what?
Speaker 3 (26:24):
And I just had to like trust my gut and
I was like, I love she know, we're still really close.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I was with her the other.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Night, but she knew that I fully you know, supported
Ariana and not wanting to see Tom Sandoval because why
would she. So I feel like I did a good
job of being like these are my feelings and thoughts,
but I'm still going to somehow and I'm a Libra Moon,
(26:51):
so I'm like a natural, like I can't help it.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
It's like I want to keep the peace.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
But I feel like during the last season, I just
was kind of could be there for anyone who needed me.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I guess because at the end of the day, like.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
You know, Sheen and Arianna's friendship, it spans decades, so
it was hard for both of.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Them, and it was I don't even know. I did
what I guess I could do.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
At that time, but not pressure to try to keep
everyone together. I think it was more of just my
I honestly think I was That's just how I would
have been in reality. You know. It's like wanting to
kind of make sure they're okay and then make sure
that they're okay, and they weren't.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
But that's all right too.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
When you were filming Fan or Pump Rules, did any
of your castmates ever, you know, ask you if you
were okay or question the behavior or no, or did
they just think it was like James, like this is James.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
They didn't really, they didn't really trying.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
To think at the beginning of our relationship because James
was drinking at that time and I didn't know him
that well, and they were like, Ali, he's not a
good drinker, and I'm like okay, Like yeah, James, like
maybe you shouldn't drink, you know. So the first season
was like a lot of talking about that, and then
he finally did get sober, and then I mean he
(28:21):
was great. He was the number one guy for a minute.
I mean he became friends with Katie again. So like
it really did seem like everything was like he was
evolving and good and then it wasn't, and you know
that's life. But no, yeah, really, they they were always
very supportive of our relationship. And then after everything happened, obviously, yeah,
(28:43):
they all like checked it in on me and made
sure I was okay and everything like that.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
And then who are you really close with now? From
the vander pumpcast now that the show is over, I.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Am closest with Sheena.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
I'm really good friends with Courtney, who was Sheena's younger sister.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
She's my age. Oh okay, yeah, we just went to
lead together. Wait.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
I was gonna say, you have to tell me all
about your Italy trip.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
You you too? I was like, sleigh, every picture was
so cuteful.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
It's literally the best place earth.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
It's literally heaven on earth. It was my first time.
Was it yours?
Speaker 3 (29:15):
No?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I really, Oh my god. It was my first time
in Florence, and then I loved Florence. It was amazing
on the Amafi coast, absolutely stunning and just Posteditano and everything.
What's Dona was my favorite place on the Amafi coast
and I was just in heaven. The food, the drinks,
(29:39):
the people, like just the scenery.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Yeah, it matched. Actually, it exceeded all my expectations. And
it's been on my bucket list for so long.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
I can't wait to go back.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
All right, once you leave, like you already you're planning
your literally next trip because you're like, okay, how can
I make it back here?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
I know, right, I know.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I always say this about Italy. You can turn a
corner or go somewhere and you will see something new
every step that you take.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
It's so true.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
I love that, and it feels so it's so walkable
and like small point but yet yeah there's beauty.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Ever, oh you walk everywhere where? Do you see yourself
going forward in life with your dating life?
Speaker 2 (30:22):
I feel like at this point I'm not like.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Ready, honestly, you did all the right things so far,
like honestly, like beyond, you've taken your time to heal.
You're in therapy, You're really just like taking your time,
and you just had an amazing vacation in Italy, so
you're checking everything off the list.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
It was, yeah, and I did have like a little
fling in Italy, like a love but like that's over now.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
So like I'm just kind of having fun and like
living life.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
I don't see myself doing dating apps or anything, and
bad enough at texting my mom back, so that probably.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Isn't for me.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Yeah, I'm like really just focused on like my career
and friendships.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I feel like that's the best part when you are
freshly single. You're like the fun kissing just random yeah,
and like kissing in a bar. I'm like, wait, this
is so fun. I feel the butterflies again. I am
in high school. This is crazy.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, it's so scary and so fun.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
That's the best feeling about it. And you're like, wow,
miss this feeling. And I get it why people are
like I don't want a boyfriend. I love being single.
I'm like, yeah, the freedom is real.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
The freedom's real.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
I feel like for me too, just have it. Like
I poured so much into that relationship. I mean, he
poured a lot into me too. I feel like we
I know it doesn't look good, but we had a
pretty healthy relationship for majority, but I just yeah, like
poured so much into that that it's also like I'm
not ready to like give my energy to someone else yet,
like my energy so not ready to like go there,
(32:01):
do you know what I mean? Like with someone, But
but yeah, the grass is always greener. And also being
in a relationship is amazing. Being single amazing.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Enjoy whatever, and you will find your person because you
have such a such a beautiful light to you and
you're so positive. This was like you really are. You
have like just I love I love your energy, I
love your aura. It's very very positive. And someone's going
to accept that so much, and not that he didn't,
(32:33):
but it just maybe it was right person, wrong time.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
That's so you will find your person.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
And I know a lot of the fans, like you
said earlier, were really positive on just giving you feedback
and giving you their love and support. Is there any
advice that you would give to any one going through.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
This, anyone going through that, to tell someone and to
even if it's like, oh, you know, my boyfriend did
this kind of controlling thing or like whatever whatever.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I feel like it's not easy.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
You want to protect them and you see only the
good in them, and that's natural. And I guess my
advice would be to just be as honest as you
can with your friends and family, and then if you
do go through a breakup or if you need to
get out of a relationship, lean on friends, lean on
(33:31):
family as much as you can.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Obviously, for people.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Who don't feel like they have a community, there's hotlines
and numbers and all of that too, But yeah, I
just feel I just feel grateful that I had a community,
Like I just don't know how like what I would
have done without that community. So I'm grateful for that.
And also to just trust yourself and.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
To breathe and.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Yeah, have faith and the fact that it'll all work
out how it can to.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
I don't know. I'm really not.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Like an expert, so I don't want to like speak
on what you should do.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
But I guess that's kind of my what helped me.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
It makes total sense because it is true. Sometimes you
are a little blinded by the person that you love,
and you always want to see the best in that person,
but sometimes you need somebody else just to make you
aware that there is.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
Better, yes, and to remind you like you're this age
and this is do you want to be stuck? My
mom has been married three times, like every woman in
my life, and I respect and love they've been through
so much. So like when they are giving me advice,
like I trust that.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
You know, oh my god, we'll go off. You are
killing it. And what are you up to right now
with your career and what's going on in your life.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
I am doing a lot of traveling.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
I've had so much, as you should.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Yeah, it has been quite the summer of travel, as
you know too. And then my podcast starts Jack, I've
been like pouring a lot of energy into that, and
then I'm still doing some readings on the side, like
with clients and things and just having fun but like working,
trying to find a good balance honestly of like fun
and work.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
That's kind of where my focus is right now. I know.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Got to work hard and play hard at the same time.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Yes, yeah, I think I told your mom that when
she said she was Chorice like you work hard and
play hard.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Yes, No, she literally does.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
She's crazy and people don't probably see that on the show.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
You know.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
No, yeah, of course they don't. She's literally in Australia
right now, doing a bunch of appearances in several different cities.
Oh yeah, crazy. And she's you know, traveling to all
these different cities doing her appearances, and you know how
exhausting appearances are, just from like going back and forth
to them and doing that flying back and forth, long
(35:56):
car rides. She'll finally be home on Saturday.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
So I'm so excited, and you guys have to spend
some like quality mom daughter time together. Definitely need your
like grounding energy after all that.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, yeah, she's like I miss you. I'm like, I
miss you too. We'll do a beach day.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Oh that's so cute. I take to Jersey. I've never been.
I would go to New York City a lot, but.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I've never Okay, Well, when you're in New York, definitely
text me and let's get lunch, dinner. We'll definitely meet
up because I would love love to see you me too.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
I know we have to meet in person and I'll
do your bird chart please.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
I really want to get this done. Yes, okay, I'm
holding you.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
To your mom. We got to get the birth time.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
I'll look at my birth certificate and get it back
to you perfect.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Yep, there we go. Sim you're in business all right.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Well, you're such a beautiful soul. Thank you so much
for coming on my podcast. I hope you enjoyed this
as much as I did. And until next week, guys,
Ali Louver.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Thank you guys.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Bye St
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