Chaos with Scheana Shay

Forget Scandoval, it’s the Vanderpump Rules cheating scandal no one knew was happening! Scheana Shay was quietly coping with infidelity during her days on VPR and she tells Gia everything!

Hear about the moment her husband confessed and her very relatable reaction!  Plus, why she stayed and how she’s dealing with trust issues to this day.

Meanwhile, the celebrity one-night-stand that changed her life forever, and the two VPR co-stars who didn’t receive a copy of her new memoir!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey guys, and welcome back to another week of Casual Chaos.
I have one of my Bravo family members here, Shina Shea.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to Casual Chaos.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
I'm so excited for you to be here. I guess
we'll get right into it. While you just came out
with a memoir called My Good Side and you are
ready on the New York Times bestseller Congratulations.

Speaker 4 (00:25):
Thank you so much. No so so exciting, It just
is amazing.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, you opened up a lot during this memoir, and.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
I feel like people are always interested about what we share,
especially on reality TV, but there is so much more
that you can also keep personal and not share.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
So this was kind of your outlet to do that.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Were you surprised on the positive feedback that all of
the viewers were giving you and how many people resonated
with your stories.

Speaker 4 (00:58):
I feel like that's what I love about doing reality TV,
is because we are able to be ourselves and put
ourselves out there and show that we're going through the
same life experiences that everyone else is. You know, there's
so many relatable topics in my book, between motherhood and

(01:18):
postpartum mental health and like everything in between. I really
just go into all of it. I'm such an open
book and I didn't really hold back with this book.
I'm sure I could have said more details about certain things,
but yeah, just overall, I was so excited to write

(01:40):
a book to add more context to the stories that
people have seen on television and think they know everything.
I'm like, when people come up to you, you know,
they're like, oh my god, I feel like I know you.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
Now you can.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Say that, Yeah, no, I think that's the number one
line I've watched you grow up.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
I know, I feel like I know you.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
It's like kind of weird, but I guess it's also
nice that our fans can connect with us so much.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
But then there's also so much more to our.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Lives that you wish that people could really see. And
we also weren't always able to show that on reality TV.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
And that's the thing.

Speaker 4 (02:20):
It's like you're getting an edited, produced version of an
entire event. And so writing this book, I was like,
now we can give more context. We can talk about
why I said that, why I acted this way, what
I was going through, what my actual internal dialogue was
outside of the interviews. So I really loved that I

(02:41):
had this opportunity to just put it all out there
in my words under my editing. The only other person
editing is the copy editor. So that was great.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
So is that how writing this book was so different?

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Because now you feel like you were able to just
lay everything out on the table in black and white
and just on your own terms.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
Yeah, I felt like I finally had an opportunity to
just tell the entire story. And being on reality TV
for so long, so many of these stories have been told,
but there's just always more to it. And that's what
I've always said. It's like, if you watch the show
and you don't like me, you think I'm annoying or whatever, Okay, sure,

(03:25):
But if you say, like, oh, well I don't like
her from vander Pump Rules, I'm like, well, you don't
know me, so listen to the book, read the book,
and then if you still don't like me for all
of me, that's okay. I didn't write this book to
be more liked. I wrote it to be more understood
because I feel like, after gosh, I've been on TV
for eleven twelve seasons, thirteen years, It's like there's just

(03:49):
so much that you haven't seen. And I still had
so much story to tell, so hopefully that continues in
the reality TV realm. But I just wanted to have
it all out with my own control, under my agency,
with you know, just putting everything out there and hoping

(04:10):
it resonated with people, which I think it has.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
No definitely, And You've mentioned some really big names that
I was so I was like, oh my god, yeah,
I like, I want you to tell me about it.
So you mentioned John Mayer, Eddie Cibron am I saying
his name, Jesse Metcalf, and even the Jonas brothers. But

(04:35):
I know for the Jonas brothers, you were the pizza
girl during Yeah, their show on Disney. Was it on Disney?

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yes? Did you watch that when you were a kid?

Speaker 1 (04:44):
Well, I was a huge camp rock girl. Yeah, And
so then when they then got their own show, I
was like, this is every little girl's dream. I'm like,
this is amazing, and they were so cute. So it
was that was my childhood, like camp rock, big time
rush Hannah Montana.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Oh, I loved all of that.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:04):
My sister she just turned twenty eight, but that was
like her childhood too. So for me, I was definitely
a little too old to be watching those things, but
having a little sister, I was obsessed with Hannah Montana.
I recently showed Summer Hannah Montana the movie, and she
loved it.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
I'm like, now we get to go back and watch
the entire show.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
Wait, and I think about this all the time.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
I'm like, and you probably think it's so crazy too,
because now with your daughter, Like I feel like they
what do they have now? They don't have shows like
Hannah Montana or The Jonas Brothers or even growing up
watching Barney. I carly, like, what are my kids gonna watch? Like,
I just feel like everything's so on TikTok youtubelix, Like, yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
They don't have shows. This is so crazy.

Speaker 4 (05:52):
No, it is so different, and that's why I'm so thankful.
Like I feel like my generation of kids was the
last generation really with no technology because even like with
my sister, she had this like tiny, little weird grain
phone that had four buttons.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
It was like mom, Dad's sister emergency.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
So it's like she grew up so you know, like
you did having some technology. But for us, I mean,
I'm in high school just like waiting on dial up internet.
It's like that, and you probably don't even remember dial up,
but now yes, with TV. I'm like, I remember like
Friday nights. I wanted to stay home and watch like
Nicked Night and all that and all of these shows

(06:36):
where we don't really have that anymore. They're streaming everything
is yeah, you two. I mean Summer was like a
miss Rachel Girley growing up, just when she was a toddler.
I mean she's still a toddler, but now she's kind
of grown out of that. So it's like, Okay, what's
the next phase of things that we watch?

Speaker 3 (06:53):
And yeah, it is so different.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, so crazy different.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
So then you mentioned all of these things in your
book and kind of just like talked about growing up
and how you led your way to vander Pump Rules.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
Yeah, I done got the tea.

Speaker 4 (07:18):
I always wanted to be in entertainment ever since I
was a little kid.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
I knew I wanted to do acting.

Speaker 4 (07:24):
I knew I wanted to be on TV, and so
it was something I pursued my whole life. My mom
didn't allow me to act professionally as a kid. She
also worked full time, so it's not like she would
be able to take.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
Me to auditions and stuff.

Speaker 4 (07:38):
So like did you want to just outside of LA, Yeah,
like thirty minutes east.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
So it was always just like so close yet so far.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (07:48):
And I remember my freshman year of college, I was
just like, I don't want to be in school anymore.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
I'm eighteen.

Speaker 4 (07:55):
I just want to drop out, go be famous, live
in LA And no one in my family had gotten
their college degree. And my grandma, I remember, was just like,
you were going to be the one person you know
who got their degree, and was kind of disappointed.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
I wanted to quit or drop out.

Speaker 4 (08:13):
And later that year she passed away, and I was like, oh,
I'm going to get my degree.

Speaker 3 (08:19):
I'm going to show you. And so I stayed in school.

Speaker 4 (08:22):
I was already a little behind because I was taking
the bare minimum for my scholarships, so then I had
to go from twelve units to nineteen units. Also while
working and not really any extracurricular activities. I had to
do summer school, but I made up for it. I graduated.
I was only twenty I turned twenty one the day after,
and then I moved out to LA started working at

(08:44):
the Cigar Lounge, and that's just literally where my Hollywood
career dreams, all of that started. I met some of
the right people, some of the wrong people who happened
to be married and I did not know that.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
But working there just kind of set.

Speaker 4 (09:02):
Up their trajectory of my life in LA And it's
also where I met John Mayer. And if it wasn't
for him and me getting fired for hooking up with him,
I wouldn't have worked at Villablanca.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
Like vander pump roles might not exist.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Wait, that's so crazy.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
Weit filled me in on that. So how did how
did that happen? So was he at the Did he
own the Cigar Loue?

Speaker 4 (09:25):
No, he was, so I didn't know this at the time.
He was a member of the New York One. There
was one in New York one in Beverly Hills, and
I didn't know that. And honestly, it didn't matter. If
I did, I wouldn't have cared. I sort of, you know,
went home with him. But originally I got called in
to work a private party. It was a birthday for

(09:47):
a high profile celebrity and they wouldn't tell me who
and they're like, we just need extra hands on deck.

Speaker 3 (09:52):
You would be perfect for this party.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
And I'm like, okay, sure, So I go in and
I'm like, whose birthday party is it? And they're like,
you'll see, and in walks John Mayer shaved head tattoos
with Jennifer Aniston on his arm, and I'm like, oh
my gosh, Like I mean I was more excited.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
For her than him.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
I mean, yeah, I would have been to literally.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
So I end up having so much fun with them
all night. We're drinking this like it was a new
Patron that had just come out. It was like Patron
Platinum or whatever the new silver expensive tequila was. And
I'm like walking her to the bathroom, making sure everything's
okay with her, checking on him.

Speaker 3 (10:32):
Do you need more drinks? They're like yeah, get another
for yourself. I'm like okay.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
And then at the end of the night, they're like,
do you want to come back with us? And I'm like,
is it like an after.

Speaker 3 (10:41):
Party or we Then I'm like, well, where do you live?

Speaker 4 (10:44):
And jen said she lived in like not the Palisades
or palas Vertus or whatever. It was not close to Hollywood.
And I'm broke twenty two years old. I'm like, there's
no ubers, there's nothing like that. So I'm like, how
gonna get home? Like I'm gonna have to call it
tax see, Like I was just like the logistics of it.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
I'm drunk.

Speaker 4 (11:05):
I'm like, I don't know where this is going, but
I'm not gonna go there. And I couldn't believe I
said no to that opportunity, but I'm like, I don't
want to be stranded, like I don't know what kind
of party this is.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Well, then again, it's like you're showing up, and it's like, Okay,
I don't need to be the dumb twenty two year
old that is at the party way too long and
doesn't know how to get home.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
No, so I was just like, oh, thanks, like I
have to stay and close up or whatever.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
And then I don't know.

Speaker 4 (11:29):
Fast forward two three weeks later. It wasn't that long after.
I guess they broke up. They were very off and
on over like a short period of time, but they
did break up. He comes back into the cigar lounge,
has his friend assistant manager whoever, like, asked for my
number and wanted to hang out that night.

Speaker 3 (11:49):
I'm not gonna say no to that, so.

Speaker 4 (11:50):
I'm like, okay, confirmed they're broken up, Like okay, And
he came over and we had some fun and then
it continued casually for I don't know, maybe six months.
But I get a call one day from my mother.
She's driving my little sister to school, like middle school.

(12:11):
She's really young and yeah, she's probably ten years old
because I was like twenty two. So she's driving her
to school listening to Kiss FM and Ryan Seacrest does
like the Morning Sleeves and the tea was that Sheanna Maria,
cocktail waitress from Beverly Hills, was dating John Mayer.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
And my mom's like, a wait, what calls me? And
she's like, Sheena.

Speaker 4 (12:37):
I remember this so vividly because I had someone else
over the night before, so I'm like trying to answer
my phone but not have this dude to.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
Hear about this dude. I'm like, oh my gosh, oh
my gosh.

Speaker 4 (12:47):
So I'm like, hi, you gotta go, like I have
to deal with this crisis. Then my boss is calling
me and they're like, Shina, what are we supposed to do?
I'm like, what do you mean? Like I'm nothing. I
was not the person who put this story out there.
We've been hanging out for like six months. I want
to continue hanging out with him, so I didn't say

(13:08):
anything to like any tabloids or anything.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
However, Well, he also.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
Wasn't associated with the Beverly Hills cigar bar.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
Well, I didn't know he was even associated with the
New York one. I just knew he was a celebrity
who came in, of course. And also several times that
we hung out, there were other friends there. There were
girlfriends who were there hanging out. There was one night
where a couple of our guy friends were there, so
there were a lot of other people around us. One
of those people decided to tell our boss, and it

(13:38):
was because she had dated a member previously and gotten fired.
So when she heard I was hanging out with him,
she calls in and was like, oh, so you're gonna
fire me, but not fire her. And I'm like, why
would I get fired? Like he's fake, mis sure, but
like he's not a member. I checked the log. His
name is not on there, but I guess he was
a member of the New York Lounge.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
And so the owner helps me in.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
There could be some there could be an argument there, right,
I know.

Speaker 4 (14:06):
But the owner was just like this woman was threatening
like a discrimination lawsuit if she got fired, and I
didn't and it was becoming a whole thing. I go,
it's fine, I'll bow out, like I need a job,
but I don't want you to get into any legal trouble.
You guys have been amazing to me. Just can you
help me with like a good recommendation. And the owner

(14:28):
was so incredible, took care of my bills for the month,
was like, let me just give you like a severance,
like surfers don't get severance, you know, it's like I've
benefits or anything.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
It's like a really nice boss.

Speaker 4 (14:38):
Yeah, but he just like it was my birthday the
next week, and so it was kind of just like
a birthday partying gift. Was like I don't want you
to stress. Whenever you know you need a recommendation, I'll
get you, you know, the best recommendation there is. And
so I called my friend and I was like, hey,
didn't you just start bartending in Beverly Hills And he
was like, oh, yeah, it's called Villa Blanca, and yesterday

(15:01):
the owners are here.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
You should come by. So I go over. I meet
Ken and he's like.

Speaker 4 (15:07):
Well, you're not very cute and you don't have much personality.
And I'm like, well that's kind of rude, but then
I soon realized, oh that's his British dry sense of humor.
He thinks I'm pretty and I am like cute with
a personality, and he was like, can you start tonight?
And I was like, well, shoot, because I just called
in another favor to a friend who worked in bottle

(15:28):
service and they're like, you can start at the club tonight,
and I'm like what do I do? When I was like,
is there any chance I could start tomorrow? And he
was like, yeah, sure, And so then the next day
I work a lunch shift.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
They asked me to stay for a double.

Speaker 4 (15:42):
I work the dinner shift, completely up Ken's order.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
Think I'm gonna get fired, but they liked me.

Speaker 4 (15:50):
They kept me around, and fast forward a couple of
years later, we have a TV show.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
So you were working there for quite some time before
man or pump Roles started.

Speaker 4 (15:59):
Yeah, even before Real Housewives of Beverly Hills started, like
at least a year.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
So you kind of like saw Lisa's entire career, not
obviously she's always been a business woman, but career in
reality TV start.

Speaker 4 (16:12):
Yeah, And I remember thinking that she was just going
to turn into this monster when we started like when
she started filming and was just be like I need this,
I need this, I need that. And so we're all
like scaredless. When cameras pick up and they're in the restaurant,
We're like, oh my god, oh my god. It was
the total opposite. It was just like we saw a
softer side of her. She was getting to know us better,

(16:35):
she was learning like everyone's names. It wasn't so much
just about the business. It was more about her personal life,
the staff and all of that. And so then it
turned into you know, vander Pump Brules a yeah, year.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
Later, because I mean as vander Pump Brules.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
It really as much as yes, they showed Lisa on
the business side and talking to her partners or whatever
it was, it was mainly about your guys's life.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
It was yeah, I mean, yes, she started it. It
is her show, it is her name. She is the boss,
of course exactly, she's an executive producer. But you know,
I don't think her storyline got us two Emmy nominations.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
I'll say that not being shady, that's just the no.

Speaker 4 (17:18):
I mean.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
And I completely agree with you though, because they really
did follow you and your friends' lives and it really
was the whole thing for how many seasons?

Speaker 3 (17:28):
It was eleven and now you know twelve with new kids.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Yeah, I know, how do you feel about that? Do
you feel like it's going to be the same.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
It's not going to be the same.

Speaker 4 (17:40):
I think they're going to try and do what Southern
Hospitality is doing actually really well. And now you know,
we have Next Gen NYC, so it's like, I get it.
They are going in a younger demographic with some shows.
I think if they were gonna do this, it was
the perfect time, going off the height of scandaval.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
You have all of these.

Speaker 4 (17:58):
New Gen Z viewers and the show is bigger than
it ever was, So I understood why they did it.
I think that the group was so fractured there was
really nowhere to go with this story. It would have
to be a show filmed about what Katie and Arianna
are doing, what Sheen and Laula are doing, what Tom
and Tom are doing. And then James, if he wasn't canceled.

(18:19):
So it's like all of that it just cohesively wasn't
working anymore. You know, we're not going on group trips,
it's not.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
Going Yeah, and at the end of the day, you
guys weren't working in the restaurant.

Speaker 2 (18:32):
You all are beyond that at this point.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
Oh yes, Tom and Tom have their bar in La Yes,
Arianna and.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Oh my god, why did I just play Katie? Yes?
Are you okay?

Speaker 1 (18:54):
But Arianna and Katie they do have their sandwich shop.
I mean, Arianna is the host of Love Island in
one of the most trending shows in the US. I
mean everyone talks about it, like, for you guys to
be on this show as kind of still restaurant servers,
you guys are beyond that. You really are.

Speaker 4 (19:15):
Yeah, it didn't make sense anymore. I worked there for
eight seasons, and after season five I was like, look,
I'm so happy to show up and pick up shifts
and help, but I don't feel right being in a
pool tip with all of the other servers who are
working their asses off while I'm just like taking photos
and chit chatting. So I'm like, please take me off

(19:37):
the schedule. I'm happy to still come in on my
own accord, on my own schedule. Whenever I need to
film in the restaurant, I will, but it became more
of me just coming in, clocking in for my hourly
and just helping run drinks, helping run food. I'm like,
I don't.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
Well, because it became such an empire.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
I feel that then obviously, like so is quite literally
an LA attraction at this point. Yeah, people go to LA,
want to go to ser want to see you guys.
So it got to a point I felt like when
the show was so high that when you guys were
in there, you really were just drawing attention to the restaurant.
And that's why, I mean, they're all over at this point,

(20:18):
which is crazy.

Speaker 4 (20:20):
Yeah, and it was so hard to like actually do
the job while filming, while taking photos, and so I
think they kind of saw like, Okay, we do have
to kind of shift for the next couple seasons, and
they had us, you know, coming in more on call
when we needed to than being scheduled four or five
days a week.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
I mean, we didn't need to work that much anymore.

Speaker 4 (20:43):
But it was tough the last few seasons because it's like, okay,
well now none of them work here at all, so
do we host events here? Like how do we keep
it around the restaurant? And it's like it doesn't need
to be based around the restaurant. It needs to be
based around Lisa and all of us, whether we're her
staff or we're her friends, we're still in each other's lives,
so can we pivot to that? And then it was like, no,

(21:05):
We're going to take it back to the restaurant. I'm like, okay, good,
So yeah, now we can you know, do other things.
And I'm really excited for the new cast for most
of them. There's one guy who I know is saying
something about me on a podcast and I'm like, I'm
no way, like.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
We also the disrespect, Yeah, like I know.

Speaker 4 (21:26):
I'm like, at least the girls know who paved the
way for them, and yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
I know that's what I'm saying. You guys fully paved
the way and they are They're not like like they're
not replacing you guys. It's just this is what Bravo
is doing right now, and it's very obvious they do
want a younger demographic, younger shows, younger people to come in,
and that's totally fine, as much as they do also

(21:50):
have still their Real Housewives and The Valleys and everything
like that. Yeah, but they want to keep those shows
to that age demographic and then in people for the
younger shows, which is totally okay, And basically it was
your timeline was up on vander Pump, like, you guys
have established yourselves and now, uh, you guys should be

(22:12):
grateful that you're now getting this opportunity right to now
build yourself.

Speaker 3 (22:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
So when I heard him say something about me, I
was like, excuse me, sir, Like you don't even know me.
You're welcome for this opportunity. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
No, but for real, a couple of the.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
Girls, I've been one of them, I've been friends with
for gosh, probably like eight years. I was trying to
get her on the show since like season six or seven.
We're legitimately friends. She legitimately works at the restaurant, but
I was the only one who was really friends with her.
So I'm really excited that now she gets her own opportunity.
She's not just Sheena's friend or another server, like. She

(22:47):
is a star of the show and one of her
best friends. I met a little over a year ago
and we've become friends, and she's the Sina she says
of the season, and I was like, oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
I was like, no, it's a compliment. Oh my god.
I'm like thank you.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
No, I love that.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
Is there anything that you wish that you added into
your memoir or basically maybe something that didn't make it
at the final cut that you wish was in it.

Speaker 4 (23:24):
They're just being on book tour and having certain questions asked.
There were a couple things that came up in like
a game or whatever, and I'm like, oh, I forgot
about that.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
I could have talked about that.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
And then just after reading the book so many times
reading the audiobook, I'm sitting in the booth reading the
audiobook and I'm like, can I just add a couple
extra sentences here for the audiobook even.

Speaker 3 (23:46):
Though it's not in the written book.

Speaker 4 (23:48):
So there were some things where I'm like, I should
have added more detail here or whatever. But you know,
I can always write another book. And that's the beauty
of doing podcasts as we can you can speak your
mind exactly.

Speaker 1 (24:00):
Any of your former vander Pump Rule cast members reached
out and congratulated you on your memoir.

Speaker 4 (24:09):
Loa Lala, Well, yes, I mean she's still very much
in my almost everyday life. The girls go to school together,
their best friend, so I know she had like spoken
about it on her podcast and of course congratulated me.
She reached out over book tour and just said, you know,
I just feel the need to tell you that I'm
just so happy for you. And Schwartz for sure, I

(24:33):
know he I don't know if he posted or it
was a call, whatever, but he was very supportive.

Speaker 3 (24:40):
Kristin. I know she bought a copy of it.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
I also sent her like the same pr box that
I sent you and your mom, but a lot of
people didn't end up posting that, and I'm like confirmed
it was delivered.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
So wait, really, that's so rude.

Speaker 4 (24:56):
Yeah, so there were I sent a box to pretty
much every to every current Valley cast member, almost.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
Sure, all of your people on vander Pump.

Speaker 4 (25:07):
Yeah, I send it to everyone, except I didn't send
one to Katie. I haven't talked to her for a year.
I saw her in the comment section recently, and I'm
just like, why am I going to send one to you?
But and I didn't send one to stand it all.
But everyone else, Yeah, I sent it to and I
got a ton of support, for sure, but I didn't
get as much as I thought I would from former

(25:30):
or yeah, former cast members.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
I feel like at least just the respect level. It's
a it's a it's an Instagram story. It takes two
seconds and two seconds. It just also shows your followers
like we are all in the Bravo world together, So
it's you're obviously just supporting everybody and you want everyone
to obviously make it like everyone's trying to make it here.
Everyone's trying to work, hustle, bring an income for themselves,

(25:56):
for their families.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
Like and also tell their story.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
It's not easy the life that you know we have
in the stories that we are open to telling our
fans and basically putting our lives fully out in the
open for people to judge, scrutinizes and paint their own pictures.
But this is why you wrote your memoir to try
to paint yours.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
And yes, exactly couldn't have said it better myself.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
Where did I leave off on Bander Pump.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
I think it was when you were obviously torn because
the whole scandal was going on with him in Ariana
and valid again, you guys grew a family over all
of these years filming on Vader. Yeah, so you were
kind of in a tough situation, like I want to
still be friends with both of them, but now you
don't talk to him at all.

Speaker 4 (26:46):
I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm
being honest. There will be an occasional text one way
or the other from me to Ariana, maybe a happy
Birthday from Ariana to me, but there's not a lot
of communication with either of them. I think the last
time I talked to Tom it was like, congrats on

(27:07):
America's got talent. Before that, it was like, hey, Shina,
congrats on mass singers. So it's very surface level. But
I know since the book, not hearing from certain people,
I'm like, okay, so this is where we stand, noted,
And you know what, I'm thankful because I knew putting
out this book everyone wasn't gonna be happy with me.

(27:29):
But I don't care because I'm telling my story, my truth,
as best as I can, and I knew once the
book came out, Once the book was sent out, I
would see who my real friends are. I would see
everyone's true colors. Who supported the book publicly, who supported
the book privately, because honestly, either way didn't matter, but

(27:53):
the public support, of course, like that shows people like
you said that we are a group of friends. So
I do wish I had more in that sense from
certain cast members female cast members, but seeing that I didn't,
I'm just like, Okay, you know what, that's fine.

Speaker 3 (28:11):
I now know where we stand and I'm at peace
with that.

Speaker 4 (28:14):
I'm very happy with where my life is at, where
my friendships are at. And I'm forty years old now,
like I'm a timetable.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Well yeah, I mean at this point, you're not going
to beg for friendships. The friendships that are there, and
the people that are around you and that are there
for you and that are in your inner circle, that's
all you really need at this point. You're you're not
gonna reach out to somebody who is not doing the
same thing to you.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
Exactly.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
I feel the same way. And I'm twenty four. I'm like,
I don't need I don't need this around me, honestly.

Speaker 3 (28:45):
No, exactly.

Speaker 4 (28:46):
I wish I figured that out sixteen years ago, you know,
before season one.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
That would have been beneficial.

Speaker 4 (28:51):
But you know, live and learn, and that's the thing,
you know, I'm always trying to be a better version
of myself. I'm constantly trying to grow and evolve, and
that's life, you know. Sure, I've messed up a million times.
But that's how we learn, that's how we grow. And
people just want to like hang on to these things

(29:12):
that I did almost twenty years ago. Like I met
a married man nineteen years ago at a bar.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
I just like I didn't know he was married.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
There's no ring, there's barely internet, there was no internet
on my phone. Like it just it wasn't a thing
that I knew I was doing wrong. I was not
complicit in this affair. I met a hot guy who
said he was an actor. Welcome to La.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
Rel. I mean, and you were in your twenties.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
I mean anything, if anything, maybe the older married man
should be penalized.

Speaker 4 (29:48):
Right, but I'm the homewrecking I'm like, I'm not even
the one still married to him. She did multiple times,
like why are we holding on to the twenty one
year old girl who just graduated college and got a
cue guy, Like, come on.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yeah, we did a we did a check off the bucket. Last.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Honestly, your memoir goes afar beyond the headlines. You open
up about friendship, betrayals, divorce, cheating, miscarriages, and so much
personal loss in a way that we've never really seen
before from you.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
So if you don't mind. Like, let's start with the cheating.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
Can you like take us back to that moment when
you first learned that Brock was cheating on you?

Speaker 4 (30:31):
Well, ironically, I was sitting down to watch an episode
of Real Housewives of New Jersey with.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
Him where to God, my god.

Speaker 4 (30:40):
It was Easter and we had just gotten home from
a great day with my family, put summer down, and
we sit down on the couch to watch our weekly
housewives get our Jersey fis, And right before I hit play,
he was like, hold on, I need to talk to
you about something. And I'm just like, okay, and he

(31:01):
looked serious. But then also I'm like, as he starts
saying the words to me, I'm like, what kind of
dub joke is this? Like this isn't funny. And I'm
so confused because I'm just like, is there a hitting camera?

Speaker 3 (31:14):
Like I don't get what you're trying to do here.

Speaker 4 (31:16):
But then I definitely saw it in his eyes and
I knew he was telling me the truth, and I
just froze like I was in shock. I was pissed,
I was devastated. I didn't know what to do, so
I slapped him across his face.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
As you should.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
Yeah, that was deserved. Then I got up. I went up.

Speaker 4 (31:36):
We had like a little long, like not really aloft,
but we had our living room and then like five
stairs to go up to like the dining kitchen area.
And I go up those stairs and I'm just like
pacing it. I'm just like, I I need to get
this rage out somehow.

Speaker 3 (31:48):
Like I don't.

Speaker 4 (31:49):
I'm not gonna go beat the shit out of my husband,
like already slapped him across his face. But I'm like,
what can I throw at him? And I see one
of Summer's Rubik's cubes. I get the Rubik's cube.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
I chuck it at.

Speaker 4 (31:59):
Him, He dodges it. It goes into the glass sliding door.
Thank god, nothing broke other than the Rubik's cube.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
I would have been like, I rather replace the Rubik's
cube than my sliding door right now.

Speaker 4 (32:11):
I was just like after that, I was like, okay, Shina,
you've gotten that aggression now.

Speaker 3 (32:16):
But I'm like I need to do something.

Speaker 4 (32:18):
I'm like, I'm calling your sister, and I'm like, what
time is it in Australia.

Speaker 3 (32:23):
Okay, it's daytime, and so I call her. I call her.

Speaker 4 (32:26):
She's not answering. I'm like, Hi, emergency, I need you
to call me. They're celebrating Easter with their whole family,
and so I was just like, please, can you step outside,
like really quick, it is an emergency, but I need
you to just keep calm on your face right now, like,
don't alert the entire family that something's up. So I
talked to her, She gets on the phone with him.

(32:47):
Obviously I made him sleep in the guest room for
that week. But then fast forward four days later, we
have Coachella. I have tens of thousands of dollars of
a contracted brand new I can't just pull out of
Coachella because I mean it's a lot of money.

Speaker 3 (33:04):
A B.

Speaker 4 (33:05):
What am I gonna tell my friends? Why am I
not coming? Why am I not doing these jobs? And
I'm just lying and I'm like, I we have to
go to Coachella.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
So, I mean, work is work at the end of
the day.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
If you had money on the line, obviously you're going
to go and take the money.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
There's no question asked.

Speaker 4 (33:22):
Yeah, And so I mean it was a very difficult
time because.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
Why are you completely blindsided? Like did you feel any
shift in your relationship.

Speaker 4 (33:33):
Before completely blindsided. There were there were no signs really
of anything ever happening, like shady or anything like that.
I was never like, oh well there was that one
time where he didn't come like, there was nothing like that.
So it was a complete and total blind side, and

(33:53):
I just I was like, I don't know what to do.
Him and my mom were not getting along great at
the time. I the next more immediately called he's now
my manager, but then he was still my publicist, and
I was like, look, I need you to be on
HI alert like this happened. There were all of these
false blind items coming out about him that he told
me because he thought, well, what if that girl sees

(34:17):
you know, all of these things. And it's like, oh, well,
you know what, maybe I'll put my story out there
now that there's like all of these other ones, because
for all anyone else would know, he did sleep with Raquel,
he did sleep with this other girl. He did do that,
Like no one knew that truth. When there are blind
items out there, most people didn't believe it. But after
what Raquel did with Sandival, it made everyone question. It

(34:38):
made me question it, and I'm like, I go, now
that you're telling me this was there ever anything with Raquel,
and he's like, I swear, and I'm like, okay, I
believe you, but I would be an idiot.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
Not to ask.

Speaker 4 (34:49):
And then I'm like, what about this because there was
another blind item some girl from San Diego said this, that,
and the other. And he's like, that did not happen,
and I'm like, okay, well, I'm just going to tell
myself that that probably did happen, and it was in
the first six weeks of our relationship. We were not
exclusive or whatever. Like I can get over that, but.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
I know, I feel like it's so hard in the beginning,
especially in public relationships, because people can come out and
say false things, and you do turn a blind eye
to at least some things cause you're like okay, probably
or you know, you go into a spiral and then
you're dming back these random people asking oh is this true?

Speaker 2 (35:29):
Do you have proof? And then at the end of
the day, like we would look like the idiots.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
For even that dming these people back rather than being like, okay,
I need to have trust. But then when he actually
came to you about this, you're like, Okay, it's not
a random DM, like this is now my husband coming
to me.

Speaker 4 (35:47):
Yeah, so, I mean as much as the blind items
forced his hand to tell me. I mean, I'm I
don't even know if I want to say I'm glad
he told me because it was better when I didn't know,
because now it's just ruined my I trust and stuff, you.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
Know, forever.

Speaker 4 (36:04):
Yeah, I mean that's sounds dramatic, but I don't think
that after that, I can never fully trust one hundred percent.
There's always gonna be the voice in the back of
my mind like but what if?

Speaker 3 (36:17):
But what if? You know, Like I just I have
that Like have you seen kpop Demon Hunters?

Speaker 4 (36:23):
No?

Speaker 3 (36:24):
Oh my god? Okay, no, So I was trying.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
I'm watching the Summer I turn pretty right now, you
should watch it?

Speaker 3 (36:29):
Nice? Yeah, so I know I want to watch that's
on my list, but.

Speaker 2 (36:32):
Oh good, I'm binging.

Speaker 4 (36:34):
I was explaining it to like another adult yesterday doesn't
have a kid, and I'm like, there's this like underlying
message in it. I'm like, when I'm watching it with Summer,
I was just like, what is this? But then I'm like, oh,
it's just about different like temptation and like the bad
intrusive thoughts that you think about yourself and all of
these things where it's like, when I watch this kid's
movie about hunting demons, I'm like, know what those are

(36:56):
demons that we have inside? You know, you hear that
voice inside of your head and it's like, well, he
might do it again. Or if you guys don't have
sex enough, he's gonna have sex somewhere else, and like
all of these things that I think will forever be
in the back of my mind. But all I can
do is can.

Speaker 1 (37:11):
Like, don't don't put yourself down like that, because if
they're they're gonna do it, they're.

Speaker 2 (37:16):
Gonna do it.

Speaker 3 (37:17):
And that's the thing.

Speaker 4 (37:19):
I actually I've had conversations now with so many people
about this, but I was talking to Captain Jason and
I'm like, and he knows brockwell as well, and just
you know, being from down Under and they are just
they're raised differently there.

Speaker 3 (37:33):
They just they breed different.

Speaker 4 (37:35):
And I was talking to him about this, and I'm
just like, you know, how am I ever gonna trust again?
Like what if he does this again? And he was like,
let him. If he's gonna do that, you can't control
and I was like, and that's that whole thing. Is
the let them theory that was one of the books
on the New York Times bestsellers list with me.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
And I'm incredible.

Speaker 4 (37:53):
Yeah, that just him saying that and just that is
a book I want to read. Also, that put it
in a new perspective for me, where I'm like, I
cannot fully control him. All I can do is trust
as best if I can, and you know, let him
do him And if he were to betray me again,
then I'm out for good. And he knows that, and
I genuinely don't think he would. But it has helped

(38:16):
my OCD a bit, just kind of let a little loose,
where it's like, you know what, I'm just going to
let him do him and trust that he is now
going to make the best decisions for our family.

Speaker 3 (38:27):
No, but it's been tough.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
I mean, I'm sure no matter what I mean.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
I think it's also just for a girl and a
girl mentality. We overthink, we're overthinkers. We especially in a
relationship when you're not feeling one hundred percent secure, that's
probably the worst feeling. And just to have these thoughts
continuously going on in your brain. As much as he's
going to try to prove to you and win your

(38:51):
trust back. You're always going to have that in the
back of your head. And that's what's just so unfortunate.

Speaker 4 (38:57):
And that's where I didn't know, like, m A, I
gonna be able to stay or am I gonna walk
away and have split custody and start a new life.
Like I went back and forth with it all night
when he told me, and I'm like, I don't want
to tell my mom. I don't want to tell my
best friend. I don't want to tell my producer. I

(39:17):
don't want to tell anyone A because I don't want
it to be true. But b I need to make
a decision of what I'm gonna do for myself with
zero outside opinion. I have his sister to talk to
if I need someone to talk to, and I have
my manager publicist. But then I thought about it, and
I'm like, Okay, so I've got one person on payroll

(39:38):
and one person who's his family. I need one person,
just a friend who I know I can trust. And
so the next week after he told me, we left
Coachella on day three. I couldn't do another day and
I had to do Watch What Happens Live. The next week,
they asked Brock if he would do it with me.
I was like, no, no, no, I'm not trying to
fake this, Like yeah, there's no way. So I just

(40:01):
told Bravo, I said, you know, and which was also true.
I said, we just left our daughter for Coachella. We
can't leave her again to go to New York. One
of us needs to be here for her for consistency
in her schedule. I said, so, I appreciate the opportunity,
but I'm just going to come by myself. Ended up
having Michael Rappaport as the guest. It was a blast.
But when I went to New York, I sat down

(40:22):
with my best friend Nima, who was on shows of
Sunset back in the day. But he is just like
my person who I trust with my life, and I
knew that that would be a safe space for me,
someone who's not going to judge me, who's not even
necessarily going to give me advice of well I think
this or I think that. It was just you're going

(40:43):
to make the best decision for your family, and I
fully support whatever that is.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
Just let me know how I can be here to
help support you.

Speaker 4 (40:51):
And so for a year I didn't tell anyone else
about it, because I just I didn't want it to
be true.

Speaker 3 (40:57):
I didn't.

Speaker 4 (40:57):
I didn't still no, like, am I going to be
able to stay in this forever? But I knew that
for our daughter, I owed it to her to give
it our best shot. And I wasn't going to let
a mistake he made a couple years prior ruin everything
we have built since. So it was not an easy decision,

(41:20):
but I just knew that I had to give it
a shot. I couldn't do what twenty something year old
Sheena would do where I'm just like, oh you cheated, Okay,
I'm out, Like I'm done.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
I'm like, there's so much more at stake here, and
how your daughter? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (41:34):
And he has proven to be such an amazing father,
such an amazing partner to me since this, and so
you know, we work on ourselves every day. We did
couple therapy, I did emd R therapy, and I wrote
a book and.

Speaker 3 (41:52):
Just got it all out. It was very cathartic. And
I didn't know what she.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
Choose to put it.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
What was your like decision make into choosing to put
it into your book.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
Rather than airing it on Bravo.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
Yeah, so that's I was gonna say.

Speaker 4 (42:07):
I didn't know if we were ever gonna tell that
story or if it was gonna just be taken to
the grave.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
Yeah, but I knew that.

Speaker 4 (42:16):
When season eleven came around, it was so fresh for
me that I was not ready to discuss it, to
tell everyone about it. I had so much hatred for him.
I had so much hatred for Tom Sandoval, So I
just took it all out on Tom. I just projected
everything onto him that was completely not completely misdirected. He

(42:40):
did deserve some of it, absolutely, but I projected it
all onto him because I just felt like I was
in survival mode that season. I was trying to keep
my head above water. I was never trying to be
a bad friend to Arianna, to be disloyal to It
was just I'm drowning, literally, like I was dying inside

(43:00):
every day. And I had so much rage and so
much anger. And when people go back now and watch
season eleven and there's a scene where we're in like
that after reading it and it's like there's a scene
where we're in a bathing suit store and we like
get in a huge fight, and there were just so
many things where I'm like, it wasn't about the bathing suit,
It wasn't about the this. It was just like my

(43:21):
ways of trying to get some of that aggression out.
But I know for a fact, if I talked about
it season eleven, our marriage would not have survived. We
were so rocky at that time. It would have been
so bad. Everyone the whole world would have turned on him.
Everyone would have hated him, and then everyone would have said,
how dare Yushena for trying to make a cheating storyline

(43:43):
about yourself that's Arianna's And it just it was like
it was a lose lose for me. So I just
stuck my tail between my legs and I did the
best I could. And then as I'm working towards trying
to figure out if I can forgive my husband, how
can I work towards letting this go and forgiving him
but still hating Tom Sandval and not forgiving him when

(44:06):
he's saying that he's suicidal.

Speaker 3 (44:07):
Right now, you.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
Were dealing with so many emotions.

Speaker 4 (44:11):
It was so much, and I've lost people to suicide before,
and Tom had an affair and that is not okay.
I don't agree with any of that whatsoever. But it
also didn't merit the death penalty. This was someone who
was an amazing friend to me for almost fifteen years,
so because he did what brought to it, it was

(44:31):
just like, well, you.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
Were as much as you were yelling at Tom because
of Arianna, you were also picturing like you were basically
putting Brock's face on Tom's face because you were like,
this is the same scenario and I'm projecting my feelings
to how I'm projecting it to my husband right now.

Speaker 4 (44:49):
Yeah, And the hatred I had towards my husband at
that time, it made me have more hatred towards Tom
Sandval because I'm like, all of you men are the same,
You're all cheaters. Was like, I just had so much
rage that I just I didn't know how to get
it out. So I took it all out on him.

(45:10):
But after the season wrapped, it was like, okay, God
to reel it in. I got to figure out, like
can we stay together?

Speaker 2 (45:17):
Like like I need to control this.

Speaker 4 (45:20):
Yeah, So we started couples therapy. I went and did
emdr therapy, We saw a psychiatrist, we went and got
brain scans. I mean, we did like everything, like how
can we get our health, our mental health, everything the
best as possible. And that's why I just I didn't
want to tell anyone about it, because I wanted to

(45:41):
do all of the work first and see if I
could work towards forgiving him. And I remember the day
I told him, you know, I forgive you, and it
was just such a huge moment for us because I'm like,
now I'm not going to hold this over you anymore.
Now I am choosing to stay, and I hope it's forever.

Speaker 3 (46:03):
I still don't know.

Speaker 4 (46:05):
I don't know if these demons are going to be
too much one day that I'm just like, I can't
do this anymore because I can't ever trust you completely.
But he has proven to me for the last two
and a half years since I've found out that he's
in it for the long run, and he's incredible. He's
literally outside building us a dining room table right now,

(46:26):
like he's doing everything for this family, and I'm just
so grateful for him and grateful that I was able
to work towards a path of forgiveness because sometimes I
think like, oh, well, it's just easier to leave and
be done with it, like that's easy it's not easy.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
You have your life.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
I think that's actually the hardest thing to do, is
I think the hardest thing to do is leave.

Speaker 4 (46:48):
Yeah. And then I'm like, or is it harder to
stay and then just deal with the mistrust and all
of that, or is it easier to stay and just
be like, oh, okay, well we just.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
I think we don't have to custody and double edged sword.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (47:03):
So I'm like, you know what, it just neither decision
was an easy one. Both decisions would take extreme strength.
It would take strength to walk away, and it takes
a lot of strength to stay. But I owed it
to our daughter and to the years that we have
put into our relationship to at least try. And I
am so so thankful that I did, because things have

(47:27):
never been better with us, and I hope they just
continue to grow and stay strong.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
No, for sure.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
And I mean, eventually, once your daughter gets a little older,
are you going to tell her yourself rather than her
obviously looking it up or maybe finding it.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
In a book.

Speaker 4 (47:46):
Yeah, I mean there's a lot of things we're gonna
have to tell her.

Speaker 3 (47:49):
She has two older siblings in Australia.

Speaker 4 (47:51):
That's the thing that keeps us up at night that
I worry about more than being like, you know, daddy
stepped out on mommy and he made a mistake. Like
I feel like that's not as big of a deal
to tell her as you have actual blood relatives on
you know, another has She's never met them, No, they're unfortunately,

(48:12):
like we get photos, we get updates, but at this point,
the kids are both almost teenagers and it's going to
be up to them. So I do hope eventually that
we'll be able to have a relationship with them, but
for now, we'll get the photos. He'll continue paying child
support and hopefully one day, But that's a conversation that

(48:35):
I'm just like, how how am I going to explain
this to her?

Speaker 3 (48:39):
When? At what age is a kid emotionally mature enough
to take that in? Like I, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
We've got to have a lot of conversations eventually, but
we have some times.

Speaker 3 (48:50):
She's thankfully only four, so.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
I know, I'm like, maybe when she's going through like
the birds and the bees or something like that.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
By the way, don't screw around.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
Ye oh my goodness, I know that's a lot. That's
definitely a lot, and I feel like, you know, parenting
is so hard, and my mom talks about it all
the time. Like she's like, you go through a different
obstacle every day and which way to turn every single day.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
And I can only imagine.

Speaker 4 (49:18):
God bless your mom four girls, Like I mean, I
have one, and I'm like, I don't even know if
I could have another.

Speaker 3 (49:25):
Like I'm like, she's a saint. I love your mom for.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
Real, a saint.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
I mean she I think, out of all of us,
though it's been really good, the only one and she
will say this every days that still gives her a
run for her money is my sister Milenia like fully
gives her a run for her money the rest of us,
Like she was like I did everything the same, all
came out the same way.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
I don't get it.

Speaker 4 (49:51):
Yeah, I mean my sister and Iro polar opposites, same parents,
raised the same way, twelve years apart.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
So there is that generational ga Literally.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
Yeah, we're just so different, so different it's actually insane.
So you are really close with Lala. How what was
Lala's response to all of this? And then did Arianna
ever reach out to you considering that the timelines kind

(50:21):
of lined up?

Speaker 3 (50:22):
No, I've not heard from her at all.

Speaker 4 (50:24):
I texted her last week. It was the anniversary of
her father's passing, and I was literally with her the
night she got that phone call. I'll never forget that day.
And I'm like, no matter what place we are in
and life for in our friendships, I'm always going to
wish her happy birthday and I'm always going to send

(50:45):
her love on that day. But it was just you know,
sending you love and thinking of you in a thank
you heart, heart heart, And so that's all we've said
to each other since. Happy Birthday, Thank you hear hearththeart,
Like that's literally our conversation. So, I mean it sucks,
you know, like I miss her. She was my best friend,

(51:06):
but I understand that, you know, she was going through
devastation and she felt betrayed by me because I'm trying
to be friends, you know, quote unquote with Tom still
and I'm like, no, I'm trying to do my job
and I'm trying to work towards a path of forgiveness
towards my husband, and I can't release one without releasing both.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
And now obviously she knows that, right.

Speaker 4 (51:27):
I mean, I would assume through the grapevine. She's absolutely
heard everything that I've been through, and so, you know,
not hearing from her, I'm just like, okay, So that
is where we stand. Unfortunately it's far apart from each other,
but we I know, will always have such a deep love.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
For each other and friendships ebb and flow.

Speaker 4 (51:50):
Maybe one day it flows back together, but for now,
I love seeing all of her success. I wish her
nothing but the best, and I'm so grateful that she
was able to take a devastating time in her life
and turn it into this empire because she deserves it.
She's one of the most talented people I know, and

(52:10):
I'm just really happy for her. But I do hope
that she understands that as much as she felt her
betrayed by me, I was literally drowning and I just
I needed someone to throw me a life fast, and
no one was because no one knew.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
It's no one's fault.

Speaker 4 (52:28):
I kept it to myself, But now it's like, Hi,
it's out there.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
Yeah, looking for a little uh reassurance over here?

Speaker 3 (52:37):
Yeah? Did?

Speaker 2 (52:38):
But did Laala obviously give you her respect?

Speaker 4 (52:42):
And so Lala only found out about it a few
months ago.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
Oh wow, I didn't release.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
Her before the book or not.

Speaker 4 (52:52):
Yeah, it was a couple months before I when I
found out there was going to be an excerpt coming
out and that this is how they released books. They
do a couple excerpts, and when you send out Galley's,
you send them to influencers, to publishers or whatever, because
you want people to start reviewing the book before it
comes out. We originally send it out minus that chapter

(53:14):
because I didn't want it to leak, but then it's like,
we have to send the actual physical books out to everyone,
so the chance of that leaking from a podcaster, a
blogger or whatever. I'm like, I see that we do
have to put an excerpt out ourselves because we have
to get ahead of it. So I was like, okay,
I'm going to have to have some conversations now, and

(53:36):
Lala was one of those.

Speaker 3 (53:39):
I told her.

Speaker 4 (53:41):
She immediately was just like, I'm so mad at him
for you, but I'm like, you know, it's been a
couple years, we have chosen to work through it, and
I'm just out of respect for our friendship giving you
a heads up that this is going to come out soon.

Speaker 3 (53:57):
And yeah, I just kind of left it at that and.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
I mean, you also didn't have to do that, so.

Speaker 3 (54:04):
That was and I forgot to do that with some friends.

Speaker 4 (54:09):
And like, I had Ali text me the day it
came out and I was like, I am so so
She's like, no, no, you don't owe it's me. I'm like, Ali,
you were one of my closest friends. I'm like, there
was a night that her and I were here at
my house, just the two of us until like one am,
and I wanted to tell her so bad. But we
were talking about everything she was going through post James

(54:30):
and just dating an addict, being married to someone who's
an alcoholic, and I would just like things like that
that I was relating to my first marriage and relationship
that I had on the show, and we were just
talking about comparisons and this and that when you're with
someone who either is an alcoholic or has an addictive
personality or is addicted to drugs, and it just wasn't

(54:53):
the right time, Like oh and by the way, now
in this marriage, it just I'm like, that was the
night I wanted to tell you. But she's like, I'm
so grateful that you didn't. In that moment, She's like,
because everything you were saying to me. She's like that
was resonating with what I was going through, and so
she's like, I'm glad that we had that conversation because
that was more important for the time.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
No, for sure.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
I mean, especially when you're in those moments though, and
you just feel so close and connected with the person,
you just want to spill it all and then you're like, okay,
Like it's hard. I've been there probably one too many times,
and I probably shouldn't have opened my mouth on things. Yeah,
but you just like get reeled in. And I mean,
she is amazing. She's so sweet. She also came on

(55:35):
the podcast and she's talking about everything and she has
such a positive outlook on everything now too, and I'm like, God, bless,
like that is amazing. Definitely, you were a friend of
on this season of The Valley. What was it like
filming on The Valley versus vander pump Roles?

Speaker 4 (55:52):
It honestly felt easier. I felt the most myself I've
felt in a really long time. But I think that's
because the drama wasn't around me.

Speaker 3 (56:02):
It wasn't my story.

Speaker 4 (56:03):
I just got to be a part of everyone else's,
so I had fun with it. We were still thinking
we had a season twelve, so they're not going to
waste my story on the Valley when it's going to
be on season twelve. And that's also when I thought
enough time had passed that I'm like, Okay, when season
twelve rulls around, we're going to open up about what
Brock did. Talk about the infidelity because with writing my book,

(56:27):
season twelve, if we were on the normal timeline, would
have filmed and aired before the book came out. So
I'm like, if we're going to talk about it on
the show, then I have to put it in the
book because the timeline. And so going back and forth,
you know, it was a tough decision to put it
in the book or not. But and then you know,
the show gets rebooted, and so we're like, well, we're

(56:48):
not telling it on season twelve. But knowing that there
is another person involved in our relationship unfortunately, who could
come out at any point in time and say it,
I said, I don't want to be looking over my
shoulder for the rest of my life wondering every phone
call I get from my publicist, is this the moment
where they're like, hey, so there's an exclusive dropping and

(57:08):
this girl is going to do a tell all you know.
So I'm like, there were so many reasons why we
needed to put it in the book, but it just
felt like my story would be incomplete if I wrote
a memoir and didn't talk about one of the biggest,
most devastating things I went through in my life and
how I came out on the other side.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
Have you met Britney Cartwright's new boyfriend.

Speaker 4 (57:29):
See, I don't know what all has been out there
publicly yet. I don't know what she has said, so
I know it gets me in trouble when I comment
on my friend's stuff before things are out there about them.
So all I will say is this. I said this
on a radio show yesterday. I am extremely happy for
where Brittany is in her life right now.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
I actually met her on Special Forces.

Speaker 3 (57:54):
Oh yeah, that's right, you did that together.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
She was like a bundle of joy.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
Oh. I love her so much.

Speaker 4 (57:59):
But I I will say that the position she's in
in life right now, she deserves it.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
She's extremely happy.

Speaker 4 (58:06):
And I was over at her house the other day
hanging out, and she's got her sparkle back. I just
I saw it in her eyes and It just makes
me so happy. I love that police support.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
I know you're also very close with Michelle.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
How do you think her and Jesse's relationship played out
this season?

Speaker 4 (58:24):
Ugh, that one's so tough because it's so toxic. And again,
I don't want to say too much about him because
he's like, she's just trying to get a storyline for
The Valley and I'm like, what's your storyline? First of all,
you know, like, you're welcome that I even kept you relevant.
But Michelle is my girl. I will ride or die
for her, and I see everything that she's been through.

(58:47):
I see the type of person he is. But you
know what, he's very smart and he can be very charming,
So there's that, but I see through it and I've
seen the real him.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
If you were asked to be a full time cast
member on The Valley, would you do it?

Speaker 3 (59:07):
If it makes sense?

Speaker 1 (59:10):
So so, Sina, this was such an amazing episode and
thank you so much for coming on Casual Chaos again.
Congratulations on sharing your story so openly on your memoir
My Good Side and it's so powerful and inspiring. So
where's the best place for people to find it?

Speaker 3 (59:32):
Thank you everything?

Speaker 4 (59:34):
To follow me is just at Shena scha and A
and form my book you can go to my good
sidebook dot com and the audiobook also New York Times
bestseller that I feel like I'm even more proud of
because I thought about this last night as I was
reading my daughter a book. I've always been this is
one thing I will give myself. I've always been so

(59:55):
good at reading out loud. I was the kid in
class who always wanted to raise her hand and read
out loud. So the fact that that my reading aloud
made the New York Times Bestsellers list on top of
my writing.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
That's amazing. Because also people could be so critical of
your voice. So the fact that everyone enjoyed it and
finds it soothing like that, that's a big plus.

Speaker 4 (01:00:17):
Yeah, definitely, we'll have to get you on Shenan Against too.

Speaker 1 (01:00:20):
Yes, definitely, I would love that. And that is your podcast,
so you could also find her on Shenan again.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
That is every Friday. All right, Well, thank you, babe,
I have to get to a meeting.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
Are you going to Bravo con I ask you that?

Speaker 4 (01:00:33):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
Okay, good, I'll see you in November.

Speaker 4 (01:00:35):
Yeah, I'll see you, okay, all right, bye Babe, Bye