May 19, 2025 • 40 mins
MomTok’s Layla Taylor is here! She’s talking Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, her first relationship post-divorce, love bombing and…orgasms!
Plus, Layla opens up about why she joined the Mormon church and her relationship to the church now.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, the folks in this episode, Layla's got a boyfriend.
Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ Roads. It's
called Secret Lies of Mormon Wives. But not all the
wives are necessarily wives.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Well, look, things happen. Life happens. Yes, wives get divorced
and then they move on and they get new boyfriends,
or they marry, or they enjoy single life. But yeah,
you get all of the above. It's a mixed bag,
just like life is.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
But Layla that we're talking about is Layla Taylor. Of course,
one of the stars of the hit show. It's a
hit show, but last year season one, it took a
bunch of hits after the season aired, and all that
was talked when it first got pitched to us, we
had a couple of folks in the studio with us.
They said, oh, yeah, the swinging scandal. That's all we
heard about was the swinging scandal. Is it over yet?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
I think the swinging scandal is over, but there are
more scandals to be had, because look, I think it's
interesting these this group of women were trying to modernize
or at least show the world. We all have our
our thoughts about what the Mormon Church is what it means,
and they're like, hey, y'all got it all wrong. We're
just like you in a lot of ways. We make mistakes.
(01:15):
Sometimes we drink, sometimes we curse, sometimes we sometimes we
have sex with people who aren't our husband's I mean whatever.
But I think that was the intent at least to
kind of pull back the curtains. And you know a
lot of people. Some people were offended, some people were shocked,
and some people couldn't stop watching.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
So I should say that the young ladies sitting in
our studio right now was not caught up in that
swinger skin.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
She was not.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I should make sure we say that we we're talking about.
Leayla Taylor was on the show. She was a part
of the I keep messing. I want to say mon
talk because of.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Where we're from, right, it sounds like mon mon talk
like Montauk, New York. It's just north of or east
of the Hampton's.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
But it's mom hawk talk like as in TikTok. And
that is where they absolutely made their mark. They absolutely
blew up. They continue to have a huge, a massive following.
But Layla Taylor was a part of that original group
and a part of the season one hit, which is
now coming back for another season. Miss Layla Taylor in
(02:10):
the studio with us. Now Laila's got a boyfriend. Are
we gonna meet this guy on the season?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
You do?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
We will? How How many how many shows in do
we have to go to meet this guy?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
What do you mean? Like?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
How many episodes?
Speaker 4 (02:26):
I think he's introduced on the second episode, so we
only got into the first That's why we didn't know.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
I have right, we don't know anything. You're not public
yet with.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
No, Well we're not together.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
You not together anymore, so you have to watch the
arc of your relationship play out in front of everyone.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Ya.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
How do you How do you feel about that?
Speaker 4 (02:47):
I think it's gonna be hard for sure, just because
I feel like, looking back at a relationship too, I'm
kind of like questioning a lot of things and questioning
his general like intentions with being with me. But I
think at the same time, like I'm able to share
what it's like to date as a single mom and
kind of like the dating culture in Utah. It's such
a mess there, honestly, and it's very unique experience. So
(03:08):
if I can kind of shed light on that and
share that, I'm happy about it.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I have so many questions. Do so when we're watching
the season, because we of course will be tuning in
to all the other episodes. We just were able to
see the first episode. But do you all end the
season together like all of.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Us girls know you and your guy?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, we did, okay, So this is a surprise for
folks who will be watching the season. Yes, it turns
out after the cameras went away, so did your Relationshipah.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
How long after the cameras went away?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
It was like just right after whoa?
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Because you talked about his intentions and that's something that
was talked about in the very first episode. It's got
to be a little tough for dating now because a
lot of people are seeking you out to build it. Okay,
so you're running out.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
I feel like it's something that I'm very cautious about,
and you know, people will put on the front and
say like, oh, I don't care about that. I don't
care about show, I don't care about any of that.
I don't want to be a part of it. But
it was convenient that every single time the cameras are up,
that man loved the.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Camera loved it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Wow, Now now this honestly, is even more interesting to
watch because you can see for yourself or judge for
yourself when you see how the two of you interact
when the cameras are on and now knowing what you're
telling us, that's fascinating but also heartbreaking. Have you seen
any of the episodes yet?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
I'm gonna see it all when it drops, So it's
gonna be definitely interesting to watch about all of us girls,
Like we'll hear things like when we go to like
pressling things like that, people are like, oh, like this here,
and I'm like, oh, keep telling me more because like
we haven't seen any think I'm like, just fill the
whole whole season for me.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
I have the episode up now if you want to.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
That's too bad, but that's a part of it was
supposed to be a complete relationship conversation here, but that
is that actually sucks. And for people who are listening now, oh,
young women, young men who deal with like how do
you know what do you see? You have a you
had a unique situation and that you were a star
of this huge, phenomenal, phenomenal show, so you could see
(05:04):
why somebody would come and try to increase their followers
or something like that. Yeah, but for the rest, for
normal folks who are dating, what did you see that
everybody should be aware of that you look back and go,
I come on, I knew this dude was not on
the up and up.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Love bombing yea bombing.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
The first start of our relationship, he came in extremely
hot right away, Like I think he said I love
you to me two weeks into seeing each other. We
were official a month into seeing each other, so very
just hot from the start, would overdo the guests, would
overdo the words of affirmation and just saying things that
I was like, well, that's crazy to say. I think,
like two months into seeing charge of he was like, yeah,
one day when we get engaged, and like when we
(05:43):
get married, and he would refer to like my kids
as like, oh, like our family and things like that.
So just very aggressive from the get go. And I
feel like as a single mom though, like I crave
like a family. So like when I was hearing that,
like it was it was what you want to hear,
what I wanted to hear and I feel and he
knew that, and he knew exactly how to kind of
like get me in and get me good.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
It's called manipulation. I know that. You know it's funny because, yes, TJ,
I think maybe was it a year ago when we
started talking about love bombing, you were like, what is
love bombing? But the point being is it's disingenuous and
it's manipulative, and really, when you think about it, it
tends to be done by people who are trying to
feel something, so they love bombing you so that you'll
(06:23):
love them and then they'll fill love. So it's not
even really about them loving you. It's about them wanting
you to give them feelings of affirmation and love. It's
it's not at all love. It's the opposite of love.
It's it's interesting narcissism.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Yeah, is he already We broke up less than two
months ago and he's already in a new relationship.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Which is all you needed to know.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Very telling.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
He's just one of those people I don't think can
be alone, and he seeks a lot of his validation
through others, and I understand that it's definitely a very
mature or immature characteristic to have, and hopefully he can
work through that and find like joy in his self.
I feel like you don't need someone to validate you
all the time, so that will hopefully come with age
for him. But and my friend had sent me a
screenshot of like what he posted about his girlfriend on
(07:03):
his story, and it's very similar to how he would
speak about me, like the most resilient person I've ever met,
the most amazing person I've ever met. And I was like,
that's exactly what you're telling me two months ago.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
So how did how did you how did you meet
how did you meet him? And yeah, how did he
come into your life?
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Hinge?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Hinge?
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yeah, I've learned my lesson. I met my ex husband too,
actually on Mormon dating app, and I just feel like
they never work out for me. I'm going to stay
far away from dating apps moving forward now because two
for two now on failed relationship.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Oh don't you're in a safe space. We both have
two divorces. So it turns out if you end up
with your best friend that actually has been so far,
I'd say so far it absolutely has been the most successful,
most amazing relationship because it was built on friendship, not
on love bombing or just immediate gratification, genuine connection. Correct, Yes,
(07:56):
that breaks up.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
We talked a lot about relationships podcast We have different
podcasts and doing so It's just that I'm very disappointed
to hear not just about the breakup because that sounds
like a good thing, but that somebody came into your
life and tried to do this right as soon and
you're talking what was the reason he gave? Like at
the end of the show you said it was pretty quick,
like it was.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
It was a very abrupt breakup too. It was very unexpected.
We were actually planning on going to Disneyland with my
kids the next day. We had a flights booked, I
had everything set up, it was ready to go. I
actually booked his flights and everything, so kind of funny.
And came over that night after he got off of
work and he's like you came and crying, bawling his
eyes out. I was like, that's that's odd. Why is
he like upset? And I was like, oh my gosh,
(08:38):
like are you okay? And he goes we're done and
I was like, oh.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
What, yeah, so you had no idea this was the.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Previous day like the same thing, like I love you
so much, I can't wait to spend the rest of
your life for me, and just comes to my house
and it's like we're done. And I was just very
caught off guard and just extremely confused because I really
did not expect it. I've never been so caught off guard.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, I'm I'm assuming you asked to follow up?
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Oh I did?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
I was like, what, Like, did I do something? Did
I say something like what's going on? Because at that moment,
like I was pretty like very very into this man.
You know, we were talking future things like yeah, I
was probably abrupt and too soon, Like I genuinely did
see a future with him. So it sucked for sure,
And I was like, did I do something? Like, I'm
just so confused, And he just mentioned a couple of
things that he didn't want moving forward, So he was
(09:26):
like I didn't love the show, Like I don't know
if I want this to be a part of my life.
But like I said, the season never at that and
he was never against the show when he was filming,
when I would be like, hey, like they might want
to film this, are you okay that? Oh?
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Absolutely?
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Like what time do you need me there? Very like
enthusiastic and like wanting to be a part of this comerience.
So I was like, okay, like, that's that's a little
interesting that you don't like this now, but you never
had an issue with it before. And then religions because
we're a part of or he is. I'm not very
active and I wasn't very active when I met him,
and that was never an issue for him. And then
(09:58):
right when we were like mid day, he was like, Okay,
I want to start being active again. I was like okay, yeah,
Like if that's important to you, then that's important to me.
I feel like that's an important thing to do when
like you're in a relationship and you're trying to be
serious to the person is kind of take on what
they love and what makes them happy and kind of
try to support them in that. So I was like, okay,
Like I'll start to go to church with you on Sunday.
I can't promise you how active I'll be, but I'll
try for you. And he would just do very kind
(10:22):
of double standard things that he would We would go
to church. In five minutes into getting home, he's trying
to rip my clothes off and have sex with me.
So it's just like things like that and that's not okay,
and like the church, so it was just like the
double standards there were hard. He didn't like Matt I
was getting into modeling. He didn't like that I made
a lot of money. I just think very insecure, unfortunately.
And I think that in the church, we're kind of
(10:42):
taught that the men are at the forefront of the
household and they're the bread winners and they kind of
rule the household and kind of things like that, and
I think that's what he had in his head for
like his future. And I'm super hyper independent, I obviously
it would be the breadwinner on a relationship and things
like that. I think that that was really hard for
him to like understand that.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
He didn't have any of these conversations with you about
any of this. He just dropped a bomb after he
loved bombed you. Then he dropped the bomb of yeah,
this isn't gonna work.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Yeah no.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
And he did this to me a previous time in
our relationship as well, And I think that's shown on
season two that he abruptly broke up with me another
time too. Didn't really say much reasoning. He just says like,
I don't feel like this is right, and then later
gave me reconings and completely I think they actually showed this,
but completely like ripping me apart, telling me everything that
I'm doing wrong, and just kind of like picking me
apart and looking back, I just wanted to be loved
(11:30):
so badly, so in that moment, I was like, oh
my gosh, I'll fix all of this, like I'm so,
so so sorry. And then we ended up breaking up
like officially like a month after that. But I think
he just there's this kind of toxicness with you. How
that I was mentioning like the dating culture. I think
everyone there seeks perfection to an unnecessarily a necessary level.
I feel like everyone is so after that and they
want their partner to be completely perfect and that's not attainable.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
When you say people in Utah, are you talking about Mormons.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Yes, I think it's something that's like literally embedded into
people's brains that perfection is something that you need to
have and you need to seek that, and if you're
not perfect, then like you're not as worthy.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I feel like, so I obviously have well, I have
very limited knowledge of the Mormon church, but I did
have a friend growing up who was and she explained
it to me that the more successful you are, the
more seemingly perfect you are. It's regarded as God shining
a light on you. So by being perfect or being
close to being perfect, and having the perfect family and
having your kids all stay warm, and it's actually proof
(12:27):
to the other members of the congregation that you are
loved by God. Yes, is that correct?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
I don't think necessarily loved by God, but I think
it's just you socially are more accepted. You're socially more
like loved. I feel like it's just looks and how
you present yourself as very very important in Utah, and
people talk like no other and things get around quickly,
and if you're not showing up to church like, people
(12:54):
are noticing.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
And there's a lot of judgment.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Yeah, a lot of judgment if you're gone missions.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Yeah, everyone is very very judgmental in the stay And
it's super hard, especially if we're regarding the show. When
the show first came out in the show title or release,
the amount of hate that we got from people that
(13:19):
claim to be very active members, which you're not supposed
to judge, you know, if you look in scriptures, the
only person that was supposed to judgeus is God. So
to have like the backlash from the members was very interesting,
And now they've lightened up a lot since the show's
come out, and they kind of see that, like, we're
not misrepresenting, We're just showing people at different levels within
the faith and that's beautiful, I think, and they've kind
of like stepped back since then. But yeah, it's kind
(13:40):
of funny that it's always the members that are the
most active that are the most judgmental.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Have you ever seen the most judgmental folks I've ever met?
Are the most religious folks the ones sitting in the
front row?
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, and that There's been that way my entire life.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
And I used to always say, who did Jesus hang
out with us? Yeah? Really like the degenerate. It's like
us after the tax collectors, the prostitutes, the people who
were considered outcast in society for whatever it was. That's us,
I know exactly. I'm including us in all of that. Yes,
but that is the truth, and that's something that I
(14:14):
think is so often forgotten. You said you part of
the reason he gave you for not wanting to be
in a relationship with you anymore was that you had
stepped back from the church. Why have you was you
stepping back from the church a part of being a
member of mom talk and why did you do that?
Speaker 4 (14:30):
No, I convert to the church when I was sixteen,
so at a very very young age. And my reason,
frickin birting, is that I kind of had like a
messy life growing up, and my home life was kind
of a wreck, and I didn't really have that family
unit that like a lot of families in the church
present themselves with having. And I started kind of spending
a lot of times with my friends at their families,
and I would come over for scripture studies, and I
(14:51):
just always admired how close their family seemed on the outside.
And that's something that I just wanted so badly for myself.
So I started taking missionary lessons, where they have missionaries
come to your house and they teach you about like
the fundamental things behind the church. So honestly, like when
I converted, I didn't know a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You were sixteen.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
I was sixteen. I was a baby.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I mean, you're still just twenty four, you know. I mean,
I'm still is yes, I mean absolutely, But I think
it's pretty cool that you can be open about all
of that. I see someone who was looking for love
and looking for belonging.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Yeah, exactly, and that's what I wanted really badly.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
I just thought, my little six year old brain, like,
if I'm a part of the church and they preach
so much that family is like the center of everything,
then like I could have that one day if I converted.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
To the church.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
And that's kind of whereing my mind went in that moment.
And now that I'm older, I've kind of like done
my own research on my own and kind of figured
out some things that like I don't necessarily love about
the church or things that I do love, like the
community and the family aspect is amazing, but there's just
some things that morally I don't align with and I
can't be part of something that I don't completely like
(15:51):
align with. Yeah, so's it's hard for me. And I
still have so much respect for it because at that
point in my life, I was going through a lot
of mental health issues and kind of at the peak
of those things in my life. So I feel like
it was a really big saving grace for me that
I really really needed to get through that hard time
in my life. But now I'm just older and it's
just not for me and yeah, just nothing but respect
for the churches again helped me a lot, but just
(16:12):
not something that I associate myself with.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Wait, I how here you know you're on the show
called The Secret Laws of Mormon. Wow, you're no longer
a Mormon.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Yeah, neither is Jesse. A couple of our cast members
aren't active. Mikayla isn't, Miranda isn't. So yeah, it's like
the Secret Life more and wise. But I think we're
also we all have upbringings within the church, and I
feel like that's what we share on the show is
like we started out Mormon, or we might not be
active anymore, but we have had some type of relation
with the church. And then the wife part obviously, like
all of us have been married at some point and
(16:38):
things like that. So yeah, I think it's honestly refreshing though,
to show that side of it, that it's religion's not
linear and it's okay to help like ups and downs
and like who knows, like maybe one day would come
back to the church. Probably won't, but I think it's
cool to just show that, like you can have different levels,
but as long as you're a good person, that's all
that matters.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Even though Mormon is in the tile now. Yeah, it is.
That just an ancillary part of the show is because
people see that and they might immediately think this is
a religious it's going to be. I watched the first
episode that was very little, and watched last season as well. Yeah, no,
where where does Mormonism now play in the show.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
I think it's very minimal. Honestly, I feel like they
had it a little bit in the first season. But
a lot of the girls are honestly like on their
own faith journeys right now, and I can't speak for
them and where they're at, but I think all of
us are kind of just yeah, on our own journeys,
and I think that they they mention it sometimes here
and there, but I feel like the show is generally
not really about it. It's kind of just about like
our lives and our dynamics.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah. I feel like the opening scene of everyone in
Mormon garb holding hands with the mountain, like, that's probably
the most religious part of the whole show.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
The opening, And then they go to a clip saying, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
The oh my goodness, So you have two children. What
are their ages?
Speaker 4 (17:56):
My oldest is named Oliver in his three and then
is his name. Maximis so little, so they're they don't
know what's going on.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
They're not this isn't affecting their lives. Nomy just goes
to a significant way.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
Yeah No, And me and my ex decided not to
show them on the show honestly, like, I just feel
like this is my experience and it's totally fine. Of
one day they come to me and they're like, mom, like,
I would love to be a part of this. I
would obviously cautiously kind of like introduce them to this world.
But I think right now, they're just so young they
can't verbally consent to being a part of this, and
I would never want to exploit them. And anyway, I
know some of the girls show their kids, and that's
(18:29):
totally their call. They're their parents, not me, So if
they feel comfortable doing it, that's totally fine. I just
feel like this world's so scary and you never know
what people are gonna say about your kids or look
at them a certain way, things like that, so I
just would rather just protect them from this world.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Is there a villain this season? Oh for sure, Okay,
but it was clearly was it Whitney.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Whitney was Whitney.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Yes, okay, so this season Whitney still I know she's back.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
No, actually not Whitney.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
She's not, is it Miranda?
Speaker 3 (18:56):
No?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
No, Miranda. She kind of got thrown into something ye.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, and she backed out when because she was the
one I guess. I mean, this is the part I've
already seen where it's acknowledged she was in the swinging
group and she left when she felt like she was
out in and now she's back, which I actually thought
was a pretty cool hook if you followed the show
the first season. This is actually like a really nice
(19:20):
through line to see it. Actually you get to see
the person put a face with the name yep.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Okay, but then what are you right? Usually most of
the groups have groups of women. She's the villainy this.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
What you're the what I feel like season one, I
was definitely a lot more quiet and reserved. I feel
like I was honestly so scared that I was afraid to.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Like make the wrong move. And I was going through
so much mentally too.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
It was just freshly divorced and kind of navigating that
world as a single mom, So I was definitely really quiet.
I feel like season two, I've become a lot more vocal.
I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm a
lot of like comedic relief for having like a funny
or a hard moment. I feel like I'm always doing
something that's like funny to kind of like break up
the tenseness that I feel like I'm pretty neutral. I
(20:01):
will have my opinion for sure, but I feel like,
for the most part, I love to hear both sides
of it before I like jump to conclusions and jump
down people's throats. But yeah, definitely a little bit more
on my spicy side is coming out the season, which
I'm excited for.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
How different are the folks when the cameras go off,
is what we're seeing? I mean, I know there's some yeah,
a little element of performative when it comes to these shows,
But are these the same folk? Because we were taken
by Taylor when she was here, we liked her, Yeah, like,
oh she got the same in it. She seemed the same.
But how much are we seeing that.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
A lot of the girls are pretty genuine. There's definitely
some girls I won't name names, but they're here, Okay,
I'll say I feel like Jen, She's will have conversations
before we start filming that She's like, oh, yeah, I'm
gonna bring it, and I'm like, oh lord, just bring herself.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Actually, you don't need to do the most.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
So there's definitely some girls that definitely the second those
things are up, they kind of over dramatize things, which
I mean make good TV, right, But I think I
don't try to operate that way. I try to operate
as like, as authentically as I can. And if you
think I'm boring, if you think I'm quiet, that's on you.
But I'd rather do that than do the most.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Uh, that makes a lot of sense. How did you
even get in? I know you were part of the
mom talk. Did you did you ever think I shouldn't
do this, I don't want to do this or were
you all in from the beginning? And how did you
navigate that with your recent ex husband because obviously when
you share custody with someone you've just gotten divorced. Did
he weigh in? I'm just curious how you made the
decision to actually enter into this world and did you
(21:30):
know what you were getting into?
Speaker 4 (21:32):
So actually I was cast onto this show when I
was still married to him. So they went to go
cast more Girls after Taylor had her rest because they
needed to potentially fill her spot, but then she ended
up obviously coming back, and that's when they casted me
Jesse and Jen and he was there with me for
my initial interviews with them with our production company and
yeah this so I was casted technically with him, So
(21:52):
he was okay with it at that moment. Now he's
like always will say like shit to me about it
and stuff like that, but I think it's just coming
from jealousy probably, But navigating this world's definitely been interesting.
I feel like it's so hard to share so many
vulnerable aspects of your life and have the public see
it and comment on it and share their opinions on
things that like are so personal for you. But I
(22:12):
also love it because I've had so many women reach
out to me for silly things like the orgasm thing,
Like I didn't think that was going to get big.
I honestly thought it was going to be something that
was like passed over and not a big deal.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
But I've had so many women reach out to me.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
They were like, thank you for sharing this and normalizing this,
Like I have an experienced one and then I can
help them out and like share tips and things like that.
So I feel like it's really nice to be able
to connect with people that have similar experiences.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I think it's awesome, Yeah, that you were willing to
do that, because anyone who was raised in a very
religious background probably had the same experience but just doesn't
or don't feel comfortable talking about it. I mean, it's
by not talking about it. Women. Look, it's not a given.
If you haven't been shown or you don't know how,
how are you going to figure it out? You have
to talk about it. So I think that's really cool
that you did.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Yeah, No, I'm really happy I did for sure, especially
just like you said, there's a lot of religious shame
that comes around sex and general because you're taught to
not have it until you get married, and then magically
when you're marriage was to be.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Like suddenly you'll just have an orgasm. Because your husband,
who also wasn't wasn't also raised to be happy, how
would he know how to do it?
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Exp you.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I mean, there's all these things that no one it's
too taboo to talk about. We'll have violent video games
and we'll all go watch, you know, people get their head,
you know, chopped off in a movie. But we won't
talk about sex, and we won't talk about orgasms or
the female orgasm. For sure.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
I'm uncomfortable, are you?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
And before listeners who don't know, will you share a
little bit of that story with us?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Yeah? So I was.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
I think I was twenty three when we were filming
that season, or twenty two. I don't know which one,
but twenty two, just barely divorced and have had multiple
sexual partners and never experienced an orgasm. And I felt
a lot of shame around it anytime that, Like women
would encourage me, like, hey, we'll try using the vibrator
by yourself, Like I would feel grossed out by myself
and I'm like, oh my gosh, I shouldn't be doing this,
shouldn't be touching myself, Like this is so gross that
(23:53):
I'm doing this. And even and sex too, I always
felt like I was there to like pleasure the man,
and if I walked away not feeling any it's fine
because like, well he got.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Off, that's all.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Honestly, that is what a lot of women are.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Raised to believe.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah, for sure, especially in religious groups.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Gets ask, really, is that a lesson? Are you sat
down and taught that or that's just kind of naturally
what occurs in conversation that you're right, well.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
I mean yeah, I mean I was raised in a
church where it was all about procreation. There was no
talk about pleasure. There's no topic. And obviously we know
men can get.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
Because I feel like there's is like a visual yes
like that they so you know that they're fine, but
like ours isn't like visually.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
For a lot, never discussed and it's never something that
you even think that you should you deserve, but then
it's a part of it, like it was never discussed,
like this is.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
A part of honestly, Like I didn't really even know
what it. Like was like I know what, like you
hear the word orgasm, but I'm like, oh, like what
is that feeling? And like anytime like I would like
think I was experiencing it, I was like, oh, like
I didn't know what it was, so like this feels weird.
I'd be like, Okay, get off me, because they didn't
know what it was. Because they had no knowledge of it.
I never had the birds in these talks with my parents.
It was just kind of like they are one of
those parents that like, oh, if we don't talk about it,
(25:06):
my kids won't participate in And I was like, oh,
sexually active at fifteen, so that clearly did not work.
But I just, yeah, I just feel like that's not
like a standard conversation you have with your kids. And
I want to change that stigma and have that with
my babies because there's no way I can be like, oh,
you're not allowed to have sex when mom got pregnant
at eighteen. So it's something that I want to definitely
have with my children. But it's just not common, and
I feel like that's why there's so many like misconceptions
(25:28):
around it and why so many women don't experience it.
It's just because it's not standard to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
That's the thing. I'm getting good because I've talked to
you so much about your upbringing. Is it just something
that's not talked about versus something that's taught this is
what you do. So even here you talk about that
sex is not a matter of pleasure, like you're raised
that this is not a matter of something you're supposed
to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Yeah, Well, and then when you aren't enjoying it because
you don't know what you're doing you think I internalized
it myself and thought, well, I just don't like sex.
It's just me and I just don't get it, and
everybody else gets it and I just don't get it.
But the truth is if you don't talk about it,
and you aren't taught how to understand your own body
that way. And I just think it's amazing you're talking
about it, because I've been very vocal about it with
(26:18):
my daughters as well, because yeah, you have to talk
about it. It's not something to be ashamed.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
No, absolutely, it's natural and it's not just to make babies.
It's too joy So it's a good thing to talk about.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I found. The funny thing is you don't know, like
you might think you've had an orgasm, but you don't
know you haven't had one until you actually have one.
And everyone said that, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
I know. I was like, the first time I had.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
One, I was like, this is what I've been missing
my whole entire life. I was like, awesome, well now
and then you can't look back.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Now.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
I'm like, never again. Will I ever have an experience
or I don't.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Actually, it's like it's a life changing experience, and I
know that sounds funny. Probably the guys true, But I
think a lot of women who are listening will totally relate.
And if you don't relate, God bless. Yeah that's amazing.
But if you do relate, you'll know exactly what we're
talking about.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Yes, I have questions, but I don't think it's appropect.
So are you open to dating? I mean, now that
you're not in church all this help, not practicing Mormon,
are you open to dating anybody? What religion? Do they
have to even be religious?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
No?
Speaker 4 (27:19):
Absolutely not. I am open to anyone. If you're a
good person, that's all I honestly care about. I don't
give a crap what religion you're born into. I don't
care if you're active. I couldn't care less about anything.
I feel like, just yeah, if you're a good human
being and we get a log bell and we have
good connection, I feel like that's all that matters.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Are you there yet? I know this other breakup is
very recent. Are you there yet? Have you started even
on a single date?
Speaker 4 (27:40):
I've been on dates, but it's honestly like it's just
kind of like to get back out there. But honestly, like,
I'm so busy right now. If I were to honestly
try to plan a date anytime soon, it would probably
be like a month out. So I'm so jam packed
right now with my schedule with all this going on,
that I don't have time. And honestly, I feel like
for so long I've been in relationships back to back,
like I got on my marriage, then I met this
(28:01):
guy and things like that. I just feel like I
really want to take some time to myself to truly
heal from my marriage, to heal from things that I've
gone through my childhood and not trauma, and I feel
like be the best version of myself for somebody else,
because I feel like you can't truly show up for
your partner if you're not healed, you're on your own.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
So I mean, you were a way wiser than I
was at twenty four. Yeah, I mean it's true that,
like you look at this, people always want to point
the finger in judge, especially when you put yourself out
there on television, so people can really get into your
life and have totally feelings and opinions about what you
did or didn't do. But you you had two kids
by the time you were twenty twenty four, twenty three,
(28:38):
twenty three, and you got married at eighteen, nineteen, nineteen,
at nineteen. So my mom got married at eighteen, had
me at nineteen, had my brother at twenty one. So look,
this is this is a story for a lot of women.
But I think it's interesting that putting yourself out there
and going through all of this and making mistakes and
that's how you learn. That's why you're as wise as
(28:58):
you are right now. So I mean one hundred percent
because you've learned the hard way. But isn't that kind
of the only way we do learn?
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Absolutely, I feel like you can only learn by going
through trials. And I'm grateful for everything that I've gone through.
Like if I didn't meet my ex husband, I want
to have my amazing children. If I didn't convert to
the church, I probably want to have moved to you tall,
Like everything in your life, I feel like happens for
a reason.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
That's the cheesiest saying.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
But I just feel like I'm meant to be where
I am because of what I've gone through.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Is there any I don't want to say it's a
danger because those shows are wildly successful. You all had
something unique and where you were and Mormonism, and I
look at it now and I say, oh, this is
feels like Bravo. Mm hmm, this feels like Real Housewives.
This is there. Do you all look at that modeling
(29:43):
it's been a successful one for a long time, or
do you see some things I don't even know if
you all discuss it, but you see some things about it,
like you would like to stay a little different from
that type of thing, or that's your lane now.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
No.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
I think honestly our show differs in ways that I
feel like the Real Housewives, they're not really like friends
outside the show, like when the cameras are up, they
hang out with each other obviously when they're filming, But
I think our show is different because we're all genuinely
friends that hang out and even when the cameras go down,
like we're still hanging out and we're coming to each
other's houses and having dinners and going out to lunch
and things. And I feel like that's why our show
(30:14):
kind of stands out, is that you can tell that
it's genuine, authentic relationships rather than those other shows, which
totally fine. You can just tell that they're castmates. And
I feel like That's why women can relate to the
show as well, is that we're showing ups and downs
in relationships, and hopefully those relationships when they do go
through those they're able to reconcile and move forward. But
I think it's just relatable to show like friendship drama
(30:36):
and like that.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
It's not linear friendship.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Has there been a friendship that ended?
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
And Whitney and Taylor were friends, were they not?
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (30:43):
They were friends Whitneyans and me. I guess when they
got into their fights.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
There's definitely friendships that have gone through their ringer in
this group for sure, and as we fil more and more,
I feel like that's definitely going to continue to happen.
It's just so hard when you get nine women in
a room together, there's bound to be a friendship that
goes away.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
That happens in life. I mean, that happens in real
life without cameras. That is just a part of life. Yeah, women,
yeah problem Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
My junior year in college I lived there were six
women in one apartment. Oh lord no, I moved in
with my brother my senior year, I want to I
was like, I would like some male energy around me, right, now,
I love women, but sometimes it can be a lot
and that is that is tough, and especially when there
are people who understand that drama cells and that bringing
(31:31):
it actually gets attention on you and can potentially help
your career. You mentioned that your childhood, your words, that
it was messy. I guess is how you put it?
Has your family weighed in? Do you are you in
communication with them? How did they feel about you even
becoming a Mormon in the first place.
Speaker 4 (31:47):
So when I converted to the church, I actually hid
it from my dad. So my mom's or my mom
is white and my dad's black, and my mom supported
me getting baptized. She was actually a member at some
point in her life and then she met my dad.
He ancouraged her to leave for some reasons, and then
she got her records removed. So she's the one that
signed off on me getting baptized, because when you're under
your age, you have to have one parent.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Consent to it.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
And I actually kept it from my dad for two
years when I was in high school, just because I
knew he wasn't going to be very supportive of it. Obviously,
he encouraged my mom to leave. I knew who's going
to do the same for me. So I would sneak
out of the house on Sundays. I would like stuff
of sundake.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Out to go to church. I was sneaking out to
do a lot of different things.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
I would shove like a dress into my bathpack, and
I was like, by Dad, I'm going to my friend's
house to go like study, go to church for a
couple hours home.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Yeah wow, yeah wow.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
So that's kind of like my upbringing with thought, which
is it's interesting. It's definitely kind of funny what came
back that I was doing that. But and to be fair,
you don't look like most Mormons.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, most Mormons. I mean when I think of a Mormon,
I think of a blonde hair, blue eyed person that
is the stereotypical She's black. You're black, y. How has
that been navigating that? I mean, do you see anybody.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
Who looks like you?
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Not a lot.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
Honestly, It's definitely like I walk into the room and
there's fifty people and I am the only person of color.
It's definitely something that I'm very used to though because
where I grew up in the suburbs of like Arizona.
That's also very common is there's not a lot of
people of color, so it's something that I've just kind
of grown immune to. But I feel like in that situation,
you can either like look at it in a negative
way and you can be like, oh, like, I'm the
(33:19):
only person this room. This is really frustrating, or you
can be like, yeah, I'm the only person of color
in this room. You can kind of use it to
your benefit. And I feel like that's how I try
to look at it, because I feel like there's so
many situations in life where you can kind of play
the victim in those ways or you can just use
it to your benefit. So I feel like in those situations,
I'm like, yeah, like I stand out.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Like I stand out. That's kind of fun.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
So, yeah, has the Mormon Church? Have they left you
all alone? If you all aren't necessarily practicing yeah in
the church? Are you still getting something from the church
that has any problem with or is pushing back against
the show?
Speaker 4 (33:49):
No, they've kind of gone silent now after the first
season came out. I think initially when like the show
title was released and the trailers released and they're like,
why are you in front of our temple?
Speaker 3 (33:56):
And things like that, which was kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Oh you're not allowed back.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Yeah, you know, there's like don't come on our grounds.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
No, they didn't say that, but I think they I
think the church really sustainment that they're like something I
don't know the exact quote, but they're like gross misrepresentations
on the media are like not true or something like that,
and I think that they were. They didn't say quote
unquote like secret lives, but it was right around the
time that we released the trailer, so I think they
were referring to us. But I think now they've kind
(34:23):
of calmed down, and I don't hear a lot. I
hear sometimes some chatter from some members that they were
like they don't represent us, but I'm like, we do, actually,
because we're the ones that are brave enough to say
what we're doing behind closed doors. And there's a lot
of members that I know that are participating in the
things that we're doing, they're just not brave enough to
like say it. So, yes, we're not following everything quote
(34:43):
unquote that you should be. And there's girls that swing,
and there's girls like me that drink, and there's girls
that have sex before marriage. I think like four out
of our cast members all got pregnant out of wet blocks.
So I feel like it's normal to show or and
it's not normal. It's not normal to show these things.
But I feel like normalizing that you're human and you
mess up is good and I feel like that's a
(35:03):
good representation.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
I hear that, right. It's everybody that does it. You
all are just willing to show.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
Yeah, we're just brave enough to like take the backlash
that can come from being open.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Leila, I want to there's so much fascination with the
Mormon Church because there is so much there's so much
that we don't know, things that go on in the
church that we don't ever get to see, Like I
can't go to a Mormon wedding, No, I can't go.
There are some things that you just don't get to
be a part of. So therefore people are fascinated. What
do people have right about the Mormon Church? And what
(35:36):
do people have wrong about the Mormon Church.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
I think people think that it's like a cult, So
that's wrong.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
But if you leave, can you still have relationships with
your family? Like is it that strict? Because I think
people sometimes think it's like scientology. It's confusing. People don't know.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Yeah, no, no, that doesn't happen at all. You get
baptized of the church and you have like records in
the church like that, but if you want it to
leave at one point in your life, if you could,
like they'll come and like check on you, but not
in like a come back to church, like you need
to come over.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
They're like that still sounds a little culty. They come
back to.
Speaker 4 (36:06):
Check on you like a knock on your door and
they're like, hey, like we haven't seen you.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
No, you're good, You're fine.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
I'm sorry. Was that a little aggressive?
Speaker 3 (36:15):
No? I mean.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Knock?
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Why have you been in church?
Speaker 3 (36:22):
I what you're saying.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
No, But it's not like a way like that, like
why haven't you been here? It's more of like, hey,
we haven't seen you in a while. We just want
to make sure that you're doing okay. Like around the
time of my divorce, that's when I stopped coming and
one of the like sisters in the church came and
knocked my door and brought us cookies and she goes, hey,
I haven't seen you while.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
Are you okay?
Speaker 4 (36:37):
So it's not like a where have you've been like
we haven't seen you like coming, like you need to
make sure you come back. It's more of like hey,
like as human beings, we're just making sure that like
you're good, like do you need anything? And I feel
like that's one of the things that brought me into
the church initially, is that the community is very strong
and it makes you feel less isolated and alone because again,
in that time in my life, that's what I really
wanted badly is to not feel alone.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
So all right, so that's what we get wrong, and
it's not culty that it actually is more community. Yeah
what do we have right?
Speaker 4 (37:04):
Right?
Speaker 3 (37:07):
H Utah? And and I a lot of white people.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
They're all blonde hair of the Yeah, yeah, they tend
to be well like some like very judgmental. As you mentioned,
that is true, like anybody else can can anybody? How
long does it take to become a member? So if
I say today tomorrow I wake up and I really
want to be a part of the Mormon Church, what
would that process be like?
Speaker 4 (37:31):
So you would talk to missionaries and they would come
to you and they would teach you lessons. I can't
remember the exact number. I think was like six or
seven or something like that, and they come to your
house to teach you again like the fundamental things, like
the very basics, and then at the end of it,
you have your agency to choose to get baptized or not,
and then that's what you do at that point.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
And then I chose to get baptized, and then.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
You have your members or you happier records, especially like
in the church when you do that.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
I only say this because I know the friend that
I mentioned in high school, but she was dating somebody
who wasn't Mormon, and they were friends with my family,
and they were concerned because then the Mormon folks were
sending people out to his house trying to convert him
because they were concerned that she was going to marry him.
And her parents were like, if you don't marry another Mormon,
you can't be a part of our family. So they
(38:17):
were trying to convert him. So that's why I was
asking about that, because if that goes on, that is
why people maybe get a little get the CULTI.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Vibes, yeah, no, and I get that. I think a
lot of members do want to be with other members.
I think it's just like maybe a familiar thing and
being with somebody that's like likewise of faith with you.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Is probably better.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
I see people in mixed faith relationships though, and I
feel like that works fine. But I yeah, I think
it's definitely like it's all they know so they feel
comfortable with it.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Last thing here, folks who were fans of season one,
who loved the show couldn't wait for it to come
back for season two, tell us what is it you
are dying for them to see in season two? Like,
just hold on with fans of the show. You got
to check out season two because.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
I think you're right out of the gate.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
There's a Halloween party that's at Jesse's house and it's insane.
I don't even know how much got so much content
out of one night that was five hours, but holy
it was a crazy night.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
And I'm really excited to watch that back.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
So it starts off with a bang episode one. Season two,
we have already gotten that far and we can't wait
to see more, so much more. Thank you so much
for coming in, and we always love having folks in person,
but it was so lovely to get to meet you,
and we're so impressed with your maturity and your wisdom.
Much and all that you've gone through and experience and
(39:38):
sharing it with folks because you're normalizing things. You really are.
So thank you for what you've done, and we appreciated
having you here.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Thank you for having me and the show. Their season
two starts May fifteenth. We can catch you where on Hulu.
Not a certain time, it just drops May fifteenth. Binge.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
We can binge the suck guess Oh man, I know
what we're doing this weekend.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
I don't know plans.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
The stuff the playoffs are on.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Your sounds like a playing problem. That sounds like a
you problem.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Folks, appreciate you listeners always. We'll talk to you against it.
H m kay
Hey, the folks in this episode, Layla's got a boyfriend.
Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ Roads. It's
called Secret Lies of Mormon Wives. But not all the
wives are necessarily wives.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Well, look, things happen. Life happens. Yes, wives get divorced
and then they move on and they get new boyfriends,
or they marry, or they enjoy single life. But yeah,
you get all of the above. It's a mixed bag,
just like life is.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
But Layla that we're talking about is Layla Taylor. Of course,
one of the stars of the hit show. It's a
hit show, but last year season one, it took a
bunch of hits after the season aired, and all that
was talked when it first got pitched to us, we
had a couple of folks in the studio with us.
They said, oh, yeah, the swinging scandal. That's all we
heard about was the swinging scandal. Is it over yet?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
I think the swinging scandal is over, but there are
more scandals to be had, because look, I think it's
interesting these this group of women were trying to modernize
or at least show the world. We all have our
our thoughts about what the Mormon Church is what it means,
and they're like, hey, y'all got it all wrong. We're
just like you in a lot of ways. We make mistakes.
(01:15):
Sometimes we drink, sometimes we curse, sometimes we sometimes we
have sex with people who aren't our husband's I mean whatever.
But I think that was the intent at least to
kind of pull back the curtains. And you know a
lot of people. Some people were offended, some people were shocked,
and some people couldn't stop watching.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
So I should say that the young ladies sitting in
our studio right now was not caught up in that
swinger skin.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
She was not.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I should make sure we say that we we're talking about.
Leayla Taylor was on the show. She was a part
of the I keep messing. I want to say mon
talk because of.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Where we're from, right, it sounds like mon mon talk
like Montauk, New York. It's just north of or east
of the Hampton's.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
But it's mom hawk talk like as in TikTok. And
that is where they absolutely made their mark. They absolutely
blew up. They continue to have a huge, a massive following.
But Layla Taylor was a part of that original group
and a part of the season one hit, which is
now coming back for another season. Miss Layla Taylor in
(02:10):
the studio with us. Now Laila's got a boyfriend. Are
we gonna meet this guy on the season?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
You do?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
We will? How How many how many shows in do
we have to go to meet this guy?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
What do you mean? Like?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
How many episodes?
Speaker 4 (02:26):
I think he's introduced on the second episode, so we
only got into the first That's why we didn't know.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
I have right, we don't know anything. You're not public
yet with.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
No, Well we're not together.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
You not together anymore, so you have to watch the
arc of your relationship play out in front of everyone.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Ya.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
How do you How do you feel about that?
Speaker 4 (02:47):
I think it's gonna be hard for sure, just because
I feel like, looking back at a relationship too, I'm
kind of like questioning a lot of things and questioning
his general like intentions with being with me. But I
think at the same time, like I'm able to share
what it's like to date as a single mom and
kind of like the dating culture in Utah. It's such
a mess there, honestly, and it's very unique experience. So
(03:08):
if I can kind of shed light on that and
share that, I'm happy about it.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I have so many questions. Do so when we're watching
the season, because we of course will be tuning in
to all the other episodes. We just were able to
see the first episode. But do you all end the
season together like all of.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Us girls know you and your guy?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, we did, okay, So this is a surprise for
folks who will be watching the season. Yes, it turns
out after the cameras went away, so did your Relationshipah.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
How long after the cameras went away?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
It was like just right after whoa?
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Because you talked about his intentions and that's something that
was talked about in the very first episode. It's got
to be a little tough for dating now because a
lot of people are seeking you out to build it. Okay,
so you're running out.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
I feel like it's something that I'm very cautious about,
and you know, people will put on the front and
say like, oh, I don't care about that. I don't
care about show, I don't care about any of that.
I don't want to be a part of it. But
it was convenient that every single time the cameras are up,
that man loved the.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Camera loved it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Wow, Now now this honestly, is even more interesting to
watch because you can see for yourself or judge for
yourself when you see how the two of you interact
when the cameras are on and now knowing what you're
telling us, that's fascinating but also heartbreaking. Have you seen
any of the episodes yet?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
I'm gonna see it all when it drops, So it's
gonna be definitely interesting to watch about all of us girls,
Like we'll hear things like when we go to like
pressling things like that, people are like, oh, like this here,
and I'm like, oh, keep telling me more because like
we haven't seen any think I'm like, just fill the
whole whole season for me.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
I have the episode up now if you want to.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
That's too bad, but that's a part of it was
supposed to be a complete relationship conversation here, but that
is that actually sucks. And for people who are listening now, oh,
young women, young men who deal with like how do
you know what do you see? You have a you
had a unique situation and that you were a star
of this huge, phenomenal, phenomenal show, so you could see
(05:04):
why somebody would come and try to increase their followers
or something like that. Yeah, but for the rest, for
normal folks who are dating, what did you see that
everybody should be aware of that you look back and go,
I come on, I knew this dude was not on
the up and up.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Love bombing yea bombing.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
The first start of our relationship, he came in extremely
hot right away, Like I think he said I love
you to me two weeks into seeing each other. We
were official a month into seeing each other, so very
just hot from the start, would overdo the guests, would
overdo the words of affirmation and just saying things that
I was like, well, that's crazy to say. I think,
like two months into seeing charge of he was like, yeah,
one day when we get engaged, and like when we
(05:43):
get married, and he would refer to like my kids
as like, oh, like our family and things like that.
So just very aggressive from the get go. And I
feel like as a single mom though, like I crave
like a family. So like when I was hearing that,
like it was it was what you want to hear,
what I wanted to hear and I feel and he
knew that, and he knew exactly how to kind of
like get me in and get me good.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
It's called manipulation. I know that. You know it's funny because, yes, TJ,
I think maybe was it a year ago when we
started talking about love bombing, you were like, what is
love bombing? But the point being is it's disingenuous and
it's manipulative, and really, when you think about it, it
tends to be done by people who are trying to
feel something, so they love bombing you so that you'll
(06:23):
love them and then they'll fill love. So it's not
even really about them loving you. It's about them wanting
you to give them feelings of affirmation and love. It's
it's not at all love. It's the opposite of love.
It's it's interesting narcissism.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Yeah, is he already We broke up less than two
months ago and he's already in a new relationship.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Which is all you needed to know.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Very telling.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
He's just one of those people I don't think can
be alone, and he seeks a lot of his validation
through others, and I understand that it's definitely a very
mature or immature characteristic to have, and hopefully he can
work through that and find like joy in his self.
I feel like you don't need someone to validate you
all the time, so that will hopefully come with age
for him. But and my friend had sent me a
screenshot of like what he posted about his girlfriend on
(07:03):
his story, and it's very similar to how he would
speak about me, like the most resilient person I've ever met,
the most amazing person I've ever met. And I was like,
that's exactly what you're telling me two months ago.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
So how did how did you how did you meet
how did you meet him? And yeah, how did he
come into your life?
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Hinge?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Hinge?
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yeah, I've learned my lesson. I met my ex husband too,
actually on Mormon dating app, and I just feel like
they never work out for me. I'm going to stay
far away from dating apps moving forward now because two
for two now on failed relationship.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Oh don't you're in a safe space. We both have
two divorces. So it turns out if you end up
with your best friend that actually has been so far,
I'd say so far it absolutely has been the most successful,
most amazing relationship because it was built on friendship, not
on love bombing or just immediate gratification, genuine connection. Correct, Yes,
(07:56):
that breaks up.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
We talked a lot about relationships podcast We have different
podcasts and doing so It's just that I'm very disappointed
to hear not just about the breakup because that sounds
like a good thing, but that somebody came into your
life and tried to do this right as soon and
you're talking what was the reason he gave? Like at
the end of the show you said it was pretty quick,
like it was.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
It was a very abrupt breakup too. It was very unexpected.
We were actually planning on going to Disneyland with my
kids the next day. We had a flights booked, I
had everything set up, it was ready to go. I
actually booked his flights and everything, so kind of funny.
And came over that night after he got off of
work and he's like you came and crying, bawling his
eyes out. I was like, that's that's odd. Why is
he like upset? And I was like, oh my gosh,
(08:38):
like are you okay? And he goes we're done and
I was like, oh.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
What, yeah, so you had no idea this was the.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Previous day like the same thing, like I love you
so much, I can't wait to spend the rest of
your life for me, and just comes to my house
and it's like we're done. And I was just very
caught off guard and just extremely confused because I really
did not expect it. I've never been so caught off guard.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, I'm I'm assuming you asked to follow up?
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Oh I did?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
I was like, what, Like, did I do something? Did
I say something like what's going on? Because at that moment,
like I was pretty like very very into this man.
You know, we were talking future things like yeah, I
was probably abrupt and too soon, Like I genuinely did
see a future with him. So it sucked for sure,
And I was like, did I do something? Like, I'm
just so confused, And he just mentioned a couple of
things that he didn't want moving forward, So he was
(09:26):
like I didn't love the show, Like I don't know
if I want this to be a part of my life.
But like I said, the season never at that and
he was never against the show when he was filming,
when I would be like, hey, like they might want
to film this, are you okay that? Oh?
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Absolutely?
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Like what time do you need me there? Very like
enthusiastic and like wanting to be a part of this comerience.
So I was like, okay, like, that's that's a little
interesting that you don't like this now, but you never
had an issue with it before. And then religions because
we're a part of or he is. I'm not very
active and I wasn't very active when I met him,
and that was never an issue for him. And then
(09:58):
right when we were like mid day, he was like, Okay,
I want to start being active again. I was like okay, yeah,
Like if that's important to you, then that's important to me.
I feel like that's an important thing to do when
like you're in a relationship and you're trying to be
serious to the person is kind of take on what
they love and what makes them happy and kind of
try to support them in that. So I was like, okay,
Like I'll start to go to church with you on Sunday.
I can't promise you how active I'll be, but I'll
try for you. And he would just do very kind
(10:22):
of double standard things that he would We would go
to church. In five minutes into getting home, he's trying
to rip my clothes off and have sex with me.
So it's just like things like that and that's not okay,
and like the church, so it was just like the
double standards there were hard. He didn't like Matt I
was getting into modeling. He didn't like that I made
a lot of money. I just think very insecure, unfortunately.
And I think that in the church, we're kind of
(10:42):
taught that the men are at the forefront of the
household and they're the bread winners and they kind of
rule the household and kind of things like that, and
I think that's what he had in his head for
like his future. And I'm super hyper independent, I obviously
it would be the breadwinner on a relationship and things
like that. I think that that was really hard for
him to like understand that.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
He didn't have any of these conversations with you about
any of this. He just dropped a bomb after he
loved bombed you. Then he dropped the bomb of yeah,
this isn't gonna work.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Yeah no.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
And he did this to me a previous time in
our relationship as well, And I think that's shown on
season two that he abruptly broke up with me another
time too. Didn't really say much reasoning. He just says like,
I don't feel like this is right, and then later
gave me reconings and completely I think they actually showed this,
but completely like ripping me apart, telling me everything that
I'm doing wrong, and just kind of like picking me
apart and looking back, I just wanted to be loved
(11:30):
so badly, so in that moment, I was like, oh
my gosh, I'll fix all of this, like I'm so,
so so sorry. And then we ended up breaking up
like officially like a month after that. But I think
he just there's this kind of toxicness with you. How
that I was mentioning like the dating culture. I think
everyone there seeks perfection to an unnecessarily a necessary level.
I feel like everyone is so after that and they
want their partner to be completely perfect and that's not attainable.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
When you say people in Utah, are you talking about Mormons.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Yes, I think it's something that's like literally embedded into
people's brains that perfection is something that you need to
have and you need to seek that, and if you're
not perfect, then like you're not as worthy.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I feel like, so I obviously have well, I have
very limited knowledge of the Mormon church, but I did
have a friend growing up who was and she explained
it to me that the more successful you are, the
more seemingly perfect you are. It's regarded as God shining
a light on you. So by being perfect or being
close to being perfect, and having the perfect family and
having your kids all stay warm, and it's actually proof
(12:27):
to the other members of the congregation that you are
loved by God. Yes, is that correct?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
I don't think necessarily loved by God, but I think
it's just you socially are more accepted. You're socially more
like loved. I feel like it's just looks and how
you present yourself as very very important in Utah, and
people talk like no other and things get around quickly,
and if you're not showing up to church like, people
(12:54):
are noticing.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
And there's a lot of judgment.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Yeah, a lot of judgment if you're gone missions.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Yeah, everyone is very very judgmental in the stay And
it's super hard, especially if we're regarding the show. When
the show first came out in the show title or release,
the amount of hate that we got from people that
(13:19):
claim to be very active members, which you're not supposed
to judge, you know, if you look in scriptures, the
only person that was supposed to judgeus is God. So
to have like the backlash from the members was very interesting,
And now they've lightened up a lot since the show's
come out, and they kind of see that, like, we're
not misrepresenting, We're just showing people at different levels within
the faith and that's beautiful, I think, and they've kind
of like stepped back since then. But yeah, it's kind
(13:40):
of funny that it's always the members that are the
most active that are the most judgmental.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Have you ever seen the most judgmental folks I've ever met?
Are the most religious folks the ones sitting in the
front row?
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, and that There's been that way my entire life.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
And I used to always say, who did Jesus hang
out with us? Yeah? Really like the degenerate. It's like
us after the tax collectors, the prostitutes, the people who
were considered outcast in society for whatever it was. That's us,
I know exactly. I'm including us in all of that. Yes,
but that is the truth, and that's something that I
(14:14):
think is so often forgotten. You said you part of
the reason he gave you for not wanting to be
in a relationship with you anymore was that you had
stepped back from the church. Why have you was you
stepping back from the church a part of being a
member of mom talk and why did you do that?
Speaker 4 (14:30):
No, I convert to the church when I was sixteen,
so at a very very young age. And my reason,
frickin birting, is that I kind of had like a
messy life growing up, and my home life was kind
of a wreck, and I didn't really have that family
unit that like a lot of families in the church
present themselves with having. And I started kind of spending
a lot of times with my friends at their families,
and I would come over for scripture studies, and I
(14:51):
just always admired how close their family seemed on the outside.
And that's something that I just wanted so badly for myself.
So I started taking missionary lessons, where they have missionaries
come to your house and they teach you about like
the fundamental things behind the church. So honestly, like when
I converted, I didn't know a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You were sixteen.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
I was sixteen. I was a baby.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I mean, you're still just twenty four, you know. I mean,
I'm still is yes, I mean absolutely, But I think
it's pretty cool that you can be open about all
of that. I see someone who was looking for love
and looking for belonging.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Yeah, exactly, and that's what I wanted really badly.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
I just thought, my little six year old brain, like,
if I'm a part of the church and they preach
so much that family is like the center of everything,
then like I could have that one day if I converted.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
To the church.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
And that's kind of whereing my mind went in that moment.
And now that I'm older, I've kind of like done
my own research on my own and kind of figured
out some things that like I don't necessarily love about
the church or things that I do love, like the
community and the family aspect is amazing, but there's just
some things that morally I don't align with and I
can't be part of something that I don't completely like
(15:51):
align with. Yeah, so's it's hard for me. And I
still have so much respect for it because at that
point in my life, I was going through a lot
of mental health issues and kind of at the peak
of those things in my life. So I feel like
it was a really big saving grace for me that
I really really needed to get through that hard time
in my life. But now I'm just older and it's
just not for me and yeah, just nothing but respect
for the churches again helped me a lot, but just
(16:12):
not something that I associate myself with.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Wait, I how here you know you're on the show
called The Secret Laws of Mormon. Wow, you're no longer
a Mormon.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Yeah, neither is Jesse. A couple of our cast members
aren't active. Mikayla isn't, Miranda isn't. So yeah, it's like
the Secret Life more and wise. But I think we're
also we all have upbringings within the church, and I
feel like that's what we share on the show is
like we started out Mormon, or we might not be
active anymore, but we have had some type of relation
with the church. And then the wife part obviously, like
all of us have been married at some point and
(16:38):
things like that. So yeah, I think it's honestly refreshing though,
to show that side of it, that it's religion's not
linear and it's okay to help like ups and downs
and like who knows, like maybe one day would come
back to the church. Probably won't, but I think it's
cool to just show that, like you can have different levels,
but as long as you're a good person, that's all
that matters.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Even though Mormon is in the tile now. Yeah, it is.
That just an ancillary part of the show is because
people see that and they might immediately think this is
a religious it's going to be. I watched the first
episode that was very little, and watched last season as well. Yeah, no,
where where does Mormonism now play in the show.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
I think it's very minimal. Honestly, I feel like they
had it a little bit in the first season. But
a lot of the girls are honestly like on their
own faith journeys right now, and I can't speak for
them and where they're at, but I think all of
us are kind of just yeah, on our own journeys,
and I think that they they mention it sometimes here
and there, but I feel like the show is generally
not really about it. It's kind of just about like
our lives and our dynamics.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah. I feel like the opening scene of everyone in
Mormon garb holding hands with the mountain, like, that's probably
the most religious part of the whole show.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
The opening, And then they go to a clip saying, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
The oh my goodness, So you have two children. What
are their ages?
Speaker 4 (17:56):
My oldest is named Oliver in his three and then
is his name. Maximis so little, so they're they don't
know what's going on.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
They're not this isn't affecting their lives. Nomy just goes
to a significant way.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
Yeah No, And me and my ex decided not to
show them on the show honestly, like, I just feel
like this is my experience and it's totally fine. Of
one day they come to me and they're like, mom, like,
I would love to be a part of this. I
would obviously cautiously kind of like introduce them to this world.
But I think right now, they're just so young they
can't verbally consent to being a part of this, and
I would never want to exploit them. And anyway, I
know some of the girls show their kids, and that's
(18:29):
totally their call. They're their parents, not me, So if
they feel comfortable doing it, that's totally fine. I just
feel like this world's so scary and you never know
what people are gonna say about your kids or look
at them a certain way, things like that, so I
just would rather just protect them from this world.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Is there a villain this season? Oh for sure, Okay,
but it was clearly was it Whitney.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Whitney was Whitney.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Yes, okay, so this season Whitney still I know she's back.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
No, actually not Whitney.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
She's not, is it Miranda?
Speaker 3 (18:56):
No?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
No, Miranda. She kind of got thrown into something ye.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, and she backed out when because she was the
one I guess. I mean, this is the part I've
already seen where it's acknowledged she was in the swinging
group and she left when she felt like she was
out in and now she's back, which I actually thought
was a pretty cool hook if you followed the show
the first season. This is actually like a really nice
(19:20):
through line to see it. Actually you get to see
the person put a face with the name yep.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Okay, but then what are you right? Usually most of
the groups have groups of women. She's the villainy this.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
What you're the what I feel like season one, I
was definitely a lot more quiet and reserved. I feel
like I was honestly so scared that I was afraid to.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Like make the wrong move. And I was going through
so much mentally too.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
It was just freshly divorced and kind of navigating that
world as a single mom, So I was definitely really quiet.
I feel like season two, I've become a lot more vocal.
I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm a
lot of like comedic relief for having like a funny
or a hard moment. I feel like I'm always doing
something that's like funny to kind of like break up
the tenseness that I feel like I'm pretty neutral. I
(20:01):
will have my opinion for sure, but I feel like,
for the most part, I love to hear both sides
of it before I like jump to conclusions and jump
down people's throats. But yeah, definitely a little bit more
on my spicy side is coming out the season, which
I'm excited for.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
How different are the folks when the cameras go off,
is what we're seeing? I mean, I know there's some yeah,
a little element of performative when it comes to these shows,
But are these the same folk? Because we were taken
by Taylor when she was here, we liked her, Yeah, like,
oh she got the same in it. She seemed the same.
But how much are we seeing that.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
A lot of the girls are pretty genuine. There's definitely
some girls I won't name names, but they're here, Okay,
I'll say I feel like Jen, She's will have conversations
before we start filming that She's like, oh, yeah, I'm
gonna bring it, and I'm like, oh lord, just bring herself.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Actually, you don't need to do the most.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
So there's definitely some girls that definitely the second those
things are up, they kind of over dramatize things, which
I mean make good TV, right, But I think I
don't try to operate that way. I try to operate
as like, as authentically as I can. And if you
think I'm boring, if you think I'm quiet, that's on you.
But I'd rather do that than do the most.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Uh, that makes a lot of sense. How did you
even get in? I know you were part of the
mom talk. Did you did you ever think I shouldn't
do this, I don't want to do this or were
you all in from the beginning? And how did you
navigate that with your recent ex husband because obviously when
you share custody with someone you've just gotten divorced. Did
he weigh in? I'm just curious how you made the
decision to actually enter into this world and did you
(21:30):
know what you were getting into?
Speaker 4 (21:32):
So actually I was cast onto this show when I
was still married to him. So they went to go
cast more Girls after Taylor had her rest because they
needed to potentially fill her spot, but then she ended
up obviously coming back, and that's when they casted me
Jesse and Jen and he was there with me for
my initial interviews with them with our production company and
yeah this so I was casted technically with him, So
(21:52):
he was okay with it at that moment. Now he's
like always will say like shit to me about it
and stuff like that, but I think it's just coming
from jealousy probably, But navigating this world's definitely been interesting.
I feel like it's so hard to share so many
vulnerable aspects of your life and have the public see
it and comment on it and share their opinions on
things that like are so personal for you. But I
(22:12):
also love it because I've had so many women reach
out to me for silly things like the orgasm thing,
Like I didn't think that was going to get big.
I honestly thought it was going to be something that
was like passed over and not a big deal.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
But I've had so many women reach out to me.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
They were like, thank you for sharing this and normalizing this,
Like I have an experienced one and then I can
help them out and like share tips and things like that.
So I feel like it's really nice to be able
to connect with people that have similar experiences.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I think it's awesome, Yeah, that you were willing to
do that, because anyone who was raised in a very
religious background probably had the same experience but just doesn't
or don't feel comfortable talking about it. I mean, it's
by not talking about it. Women. Look, it's not a given.
If you haven't been shown or you don't know how,
how are you going to figure it out? You have
to talk about it. So I think that's really cool
that you did.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Yeah, No, I'm really happy I did for sure, especially
just like you said, there's a lot of religious shame
that comes around sex and general because you're taught to
not have it until you get married, and then magically
when you're marriage was to be.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Like suddenly you'll just have an orgasm. Because your husband,
who also wasn't wasn't also raised to be happy, how
would he know how to do it?
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Exp you.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I mean, there's all these things that no one it's
too taboo to talk about. We'll have violent video games
and we'll all go watch, you know, people get their head,
you know, chopped off in a movie. But we won't
talk about sex, and we won't talk about orgasms or
the female orgasm. For sure.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
I'm uncomfortable, are you?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
And before listeners who don't know, will you share a
little bit of that story with us?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Yeah? So I was.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
I think I was twenty three when we were filming
that season, or twenty two. I don't know which one,
but twenty two, just barely divorced and have had multiple
sexual partners and never experienced an orgasm. And I felt
a lot of shame around it anytime that, Like women
would encourage me, like, hey, we'll try using the vibrator
by yourself, Like I would feel grossed out by myself
and I'm like, oh my gosh, I shouldn't be doing this,
shouldn't be touching myself, Like this is so gross that
(23:53):
I'm doing this. And even and sex too, I always
felt like I was there to like pleasure the man,
and if I walked away not feeling any it's fine
because like, well he got.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Off, that's all.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Honestly, that is what a lot of women are.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Raised to believe.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah, for sure, especially in religious groups.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Gets ask, really, is that a lesson? Are you sat
down and taught that or that's just kind of naturally
what occurs in conversation that you're right, well.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
I mean yeah, I mean I was raised in a
church where it was all about procreation. There was no
talk about pleasure. There's no topic. And obviously we know
men can get.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
Because I feel like there's is like a visual yes
like that they so you know that they're fine, but
like ours isn't like visually.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
For a lot, never discussed and it's never something that
you even think that you should you deserve, but then
it's a part of it, like it was never discussed,
like this is.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
A part of honestly, Like I didn't really even know
what it. Like was like I know what, like you
hear the word orgasm, but I'm like, oh, like what
is that feeling? And like anytime like I would like
think I was experiencing it, I was like, oh, like
I didn't know what it was, so like this feels weird.
I'd be like, Okay, get off me, because they didn't
know what it was. Because they had no knowledge of it.
I never had the birds in these talks with my parents.
It was just kind of like they are one of
those parents that like, oh, if we don't talk about it,
(25:06):
my kids won't participate in And I was like, oh,
sexually active at fifteen, so that clearly did not work.
But I just, yeah, I just feel like that's not
like a standard conversation you have with your kids. And
I want to change that stigma and have that with
my babies because there's no way I can be like, oh,
you're not allowed to have sex when mom got pregnant
at eighteen. So it's something that I want to definitely
have with my children. But it's just not common, and
I feel like that's why there's so many like misconceptions
(25:28):
around it and why so many women don't experience it.
It's just because it's not standard to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
That's the thing. I'm getting good because I've talked to
you so much about your upbringing. Is it just something
that's not talked about versus something that's taught this is
what you do. So even here you talk about that
sex is not a matter of pleasure, like you're raised
that this is not a matter of something you're supposed
to enjoy.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Yeah, Well, and then when you aren't enjoying it because
you don't know what you're doing you think I internalized
it myself and thought, well, I just don't like sex.
It's just me and I just don't get it, and
everybody else gets it and I just don't get it.
But the truth is if you don't talk about it,
and you aren't taught how to understand your own body
that way. And I just think it's amazing you're talking
about it, because I've been very vocal about it with
(26:18):
my daughters as well, because yeah, you have to talk
about it. It's not something to be ashamed.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
No, absolutely, it's natural and it's not just to make babies.
It's too joy So it's a good thing to talk about.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I found. The funny thing is you don't know, like
you might think you've had an orgasm, but you don't
know you haven't had one until you actually have one.
And everyone said that, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
I know. I was like, the first time I had.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
One, I was like, this is what I've been missing
my whole entire life. I was like, awesome, well now
and then you can't look back.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Now.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
I'm like, never again. Will I ever have an experience
or I don't.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Actually, it's like it's a life changing experience, and I
know that sounds funny. Probably the guys true, But I
think a lot of women who are listening will totally relate.
And if you don't relate, God bless. Yeah that's amazing.
But if you do relate, you'll know exactly what we're
talking about.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Yes, I have questions, but I don't think it's appropect.
So are you open to dating? I mean, now that
you're not in church all this help, not practicing Mormon,
are you open to dating anybody? What religion? Do they
have to even be religious?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
No?
Speaker 4 (27:19):
Absolutely not. I am open to anyone. If you're a
good person, that's all I honestly care about. I don't
give a crap what religion you're born into. I don't
care if you're active. I couldn't care less about anything.
I feel like, just yeah, if you're a good human
being and we get a log bell and we have
good connection, I feel like that's all that matters.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Are you there yet? I know this other breakup is
very recent. Are you there yet? Have you started even
on a single date?
Speaker 4 (27:40):
I've been on dates, but it's honestly like it's just
kind of like to get back out there. But honestly, like,
I'm so busy right now. If I were to honestly
try to plan a date anytime soon, it would probably
be like a month out. So I'm so jam packed
right now with my schedule with all this going on,
that I don't have time. And honestly, I feel like
for so long I've been in relationships back to back,
like I got on my marriage, then I met this
(28:01):
guy and things like that. I just feel like I
really want to take some time to myself to truly
heal from my marriage, to heal from things that I've
gone through my childhood and not trauma, and I feel
like be the best version of myself for somebody else,
because I feel like you can't truly show up for
your partner if you're not healed, you're on your own.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
So I mean, you were a way wiser than I
was at twenty four. Yeah, I mean it's true that,
like you look at this, people always want to point
the finger in judge, especially when you put yourself out
there on television, so people can really get into your
life and have totally feelings and opinions about what you
did or didn't do. But you you had two kids
by the time you were twenty twenty four, twenty three,
(28:38):
twenty three, and you got married at eighteen, nineteen, nineteen,
at nineteen. So my mom got married at eighteen, had
me at nineteen, had my brother at twenty one. So look,
this is this is a story for a lot of women.
But I think it's interesting that putting yourself out there
and going through all of this and making mistakes and
that's how you learn. That's why you're as wise as
(28:58):
you are right now. So I mean one hundred percent
because you've learned the hard way. But isn't that kind
of the only way we do learn?
Speaker 4 (29:04):
Absolutely, I feel like you can only learn by going
through trials. And I'm grateful for everything that I've gone through.
Like if I didn't meet my ex husband, I want
to have my amazing children. If I didn't convert to
the church, I probably want to have moved to you tall,
Like everything in your life, I feel like happens for
a reason.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
That's the cheesiest saying.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
But I just feel like I'm meant to be where
I am because of what I've gone through.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Is there any I don't want to say it's a
danger because those shows are wildly successful. You all had
something unique and where you were and Mormonism, and I
look at it now and I say, oh, this is
feels like Bravo. Mm hmm, this feels like Real Housewives.
This is there. Do you all look at that modeling
(29:43):
it's been a successful one for a long time, or
do you see some things I don't even know if
you all discuss it, but you see some things about it,
like you would like to stay a little different from
that type of thing, or that's your lane now.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
No.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
I think honestly our show differs in ways that I
feel like the Real Housewives, they're not really like friends
outside the show, like when the cameras are up, they
hang out with each other obviously when they're filming, But
I think our show is different because we're all genuinely
friends that hang out and even when the cameras go down,
like we're still hanging out and we're coming to each
other's houses and having dinners and going out to lunch
and things. And I feel like that's why our show
(30:14):
kind of stands out, is that you can tell that
it's genuine, authentic relationships rather than those other shows, which
totally fine. You can just tell that they're castmates. And
I feel like That's why women can relate to the
show as well, is that we're showing ups and downs
in relationships, and hopefully those relationships when they do go
through those they're able to reconcile and move forward. But
I think it's just relatable to show like friendship drama
(30:36):
and like that.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
It's not linear friendship.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Has there been a friendship that ended?
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
And Whitney and Taylor were friends, were they not?
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (30:43):
They were friends Whitneyans and me. I guess when they
got into their fights.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
There's definitely friendships that have gone through their ringer in
this group for sure, and as we fil more and more,
I feel like that's definitely going to continue to happen.
It's just so hard when you get nine women in
a room together, there's bound to be a friendship that
goes away.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
That happens in life. I mean, that happens in real
life without cameras. That is just a part of life. Yeah, women,
yeah problem Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
My junior year in college I lived there were six
women in one apartment. Oh lord no, I moved in
with my brother my senior year, I want to I
was like, I would like some male energy around me, right, now,
I love women, but sometimes it can be a lot
and that is that is tough, and especially when there
are people who understand that drama cells and that bringing
(31:31):
it actually gets attention on you and can potentially help
your career. You mentioned that your childhood, your words, that
it was messy. I guess is how you put it?
Has your family weighed in? Do you are you in
communication with them? How did they feel about you even
becoming a Mormon in the first place.
Speaker 4 (31:47):
So when I converted to the church, I actually hid
it from my dad. So my mom's or my mom
is white and my dad's black, and my mom supported
me getting baptized. She was actually a member at some
point in her life and then she met my dad.
He ancouraged her to leave for some reasons, and then
she got her records removed. So she's the one that
signed off on me getting baptized, because when you're under
your age, you have to have one parent.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Consent to it.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
And I actually kept it from my dad for two
years when I was in high school, just because I
knew he wasn't going to be very supportive of it. Obviously,
he encouraged my mom to leave. I knew who's going
to do the same for me. So I would sneak
out of the house on Sundays. I would like stuff
of sundake.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Out to go to church. I was sneaking out to
do a lot of different things.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
I would shove like a dress into my bathpack, and
I was like, by Dad, I'm going to my friend's
house to go like study, go to church for a
couple hours home.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Yeah wow, yeah wow.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
So that's kind of like my upbringing with thought, which
is it's interesting. It's definitely kind of funny what came
back that I was doing that. But and to be fair,
you don't look like most Mormons.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, most Mormons. I mean when I think of a Mormon,
I think of a blonde hair, blue eyed person that
is the stereotypical She's black. You're black, y. How has
that been navigating that? I mean, do you see anybody.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
Who looks like you?
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Not a lot.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
Honestly, It's definitely like I walk into the room and
there's fifty people and I am the only person of color.
It's definitely something that I'm very used to though because
where I grew up in the suburbs of like Arizona.
That's also very common is there's not a lot of
people of color, so it's something that I've just kind
of grown immune to. But I feel like in that situation,
you can either like look at it in a negative
way and you can be like, oh, like, I'm the
(33:19):
only person this room. This is really frustrating, or you
can be like, yeah, I'm the only person of color
in this room. You can kind of use it to
your benefit. And I feel like that's how I try
to look at it, because I feel like there's so
many situations in life where you can kind of play
the victim in those ways or you can just use
it to your benefit. So I feel like in those situations,
I'm like, yeah, like I stand out.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Like I stand out. That's kind of fun.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
So, yeah, has the Mormon Church? Have they left you
all alone? If you all aren't necessarily practicing yeah in
the church? Are you still getting something from the church
that has any problem with or is pushing back against
the show?
Speaker 4 (33:49):
No, they've kind of gone silent now after the first
season came out. I think initially when like the show
title was released and the trailers released and they're like,
why are you in front of our temple?
Speaker 3 (33:56):
And things like that, which was kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Oh you're not allowed back.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Yeah, you know, there's like don't come on our grounds.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
No, they didn't say that, but I think they I
think the church really sustainment that they're like something I
don't know the exact quote, but they're like gross misrepresentations
on the media are like not true or something like that,
and I think that they were. They didn't say quote
unquote like secret lives, but it was right around the
time that we released the trailer, so I think they
were referring to us. But I think now they've kind
(34:23):
of calmed down, and I don't hear a lot. I
hear sometimes some chatter from some members that they were
like they don't represent us, but I'm like, we do, actually,
because we're the ones that are brave enough to say
what we're doing behind closed doors. And there's a lot
of members that I know that are participating in the
things that we're doing, they're just not brave enough to
like say it. So, yes, we're not following everything quote
(34:43):
unquote that you should be. And there's girls that swing,
and there's girls like me that drink, and there's girls
that have sex before marriage. I think like four out
of our cast members all got pregnant out of wet blocks.
So I feel like it's normal to show or and
it's not normal. It's not normal to show these things.
But I feel like normalizing that you're human and you
mess up is good and I feel like that's a
(35:03):
good representation.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
I hear that, right. It's everybody that does it. You
all are just willing to show.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
Yeah, we're just brave enough to like take the backlash
that can come from being open.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Leila, I want to there's so much fascination with the
Mormon Church because there is so much there's so much
that we don't know, things that go on in the
church that we don't ever get to see, Like I
can't go to a Mormon wedding, No, I can't go.
There are some things that you just don't get to
be a part of. So therefore people are fascinated. What
do people have right about the Mormon Church? And what
(35:36):
do people have wrong about the Mormon Church.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
I think people think that it's like a cult, So
that's wrong.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
But if you leave, can you still have relationships with
your family? Like is it that strict? Because I think
people sometimes think it's like scientology. It's confusing. People don't know.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Yeah, no, no, that doesn't happen at all. You get
baptized of the church and you have like records in
the church like that, but if you want it to
leave at one point in your life, if you could,
like they'll come and like check on you, but not
in like a come back to church, like you need
to come over.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
They're like that still sounds a little culty. They come
back to.
Speaker 4 (36:06):
Check on you like a knock on your door and
they're like, hey, like we haven't seen you.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
No, you're good, You're fine.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
I'm sorry. Was that a little aggressive?
Speaker 3 (36:15):
No? I mean.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Knock?
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Why have you been in church?
Speaker 3 (36:22):
I what you're saying.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
No, But it's not like a way like that, like
why haven't you been here? It's more of like, hey,
we haven't seen you in a while. We just want
to make sure that you're doing okay. Like around the
time of my divorce, that's when I stopped coming and
one of the like sisters in the church came and
knocked my door and brought us cookies and she goes, hey,
I haven't seen you while.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
Are you okay?
Speaker 4 (36:37):
So it's not like a where have you've been like
we haven't seen you like coming, like you need to
make sure you come back. It's more of like hey,
like as human beings, we're just making sure that like
you're good, like do you need anything? And I feel
like that's one of the things that brought me into
the church initially, is that the community is very strong
and it makes you feel less isolated and alone because again,
in that time in my life, that's what I really
wanted badly is to not feel alone.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
So all right, so that's what we get wrong, and
it's not culty that it actually is more community. Yeah
what do we have right?
Speaker 4 (37:04):
Right?
Speaker 3 (37:07):
H Utah? And and I a lot of white people.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
They're all blonde hair of the Yeah, yeah, they tend
to be well like some like very judgmental. As you mentioned,
that is true, like anybody else can can anybody? How
long does it take to become a member? So if
I say today tomorrow I wake up and I really
want to be a part of the Mormon Church, what
would that process be like?
Speaker 4 (37:31):
So you would talk to missionaries and they would come
to you and they would teach you lessons. I can't
remember the exact number. I think was like six or
seven or something like that, and they come to your
house to teach you again like the fundamental things, like
the very basics, and then at the end of it,
you have your agency to choose to get baptized or not,
and then that's what you do at that point.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
And then I chose to get baptized, and then.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
You have your members or you happier records, especially like
in the church when you do that.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
I only say this because I know the friend that
I mentioned in high school, but she was dating somebody
who wasn't Mormon, and they were friends with my family,
and they were concerned because then the Mormon folks were
sending people out to his house trying to convert him
because they were concerned that she was going to marry him.
And her parents were like, if you don't marry another Mormon,
you can't be a part of our family. So they
(38:17):
were trying to convert him. So that's why I was
asking about that, because if that goes on, that is
why people maybe get a little get the CULTI.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Vibes, yeah, no, and I get that. I think a
lot of members do want to be with other members.
I think it's just like maybe a familiar thing and
being with somebody that's like likewise of faith with you.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Is probably better.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
I see people in mixed faith relationships though, and I
feel like that works fine. But I yeah, I think
it's definitely like it's all they know so they feel
comfortable with it.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Last thing here, folks who were fans of season one,
who loved the show couldn't wait for it to come
back for season two, tell us what is it you
are dying for them to see in season two? Like,
just hold on with fans of the show. You got
to check out season two because.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
I think you're right out of the gate.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
There's a Halloween party that's at Jesse's house and it's insane.
I don't even know how much got so much content
out of one night that was five hours, but holy
it was a crazy night.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
And I'm really excited to watch that back.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
So it starts off with a bang episode one. Season two,
we have already gotten that far and we can't wait
to see more, so much more. Thank you so much
for coming in, and we always love having folks in person,
but it was so lovely to get to meet you,
and we're so impressed with your maturity and your wisdom.
Much and all that you've gone through and experience and
(39:38):
sharing it with folks because you're normalizing things. You really are.
So thank you for what you've done, and we appreciated
having you here.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Thank you for having me and the show. Their season
two starts May fifteenth. We can catch you where on Hulu.
Not a certain time, it just drops May fifteenth. Binge.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
We can binge the suck guess Oh man, I know
what we're doing this weekend.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
I don't know plans.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
The stuff the playoffs are on.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Your sounds like a playing problem. That sounds like a
you problem.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Folks, appreciate you listeners always. We'll talk to you against it.
H m kay
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