December 14, 2025 • 22 mins
Amy and T.J. talk to the expert on gift giving following their most recent column for Yahoo.com. Associate professor Dr. Julian Givi studies gift giving for a living and tells us the do’s and dont’s for picking the perfect present. He also gives us an unexpected pro-tip that research shows could make the difference between someone liking your gift and LOVING it!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, folks, we are getting closer and closer to Christmas Day,
and whatever you do, do not buy another Christmas gift
until you hear from this guy, our guest today, Ropes.
We had him on with our partners at Yahoo. They
were great to find him, and we loved him so
much and we had to get him back and we
(00:22):
had to get him on our podcast. He's that good,
that's right.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
We did a whole column on Yahoo Life in the
section there about gift giving and are we doing it right?
We were basically asking Julian if we were doing things
the right way. And I know a lot of people
have questions this time of year about who they should
give gifts to, well, type of gifts they should give,
how much should they spend. There are a litany of questions,
(00:48):
and Julian Give has all the answer.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Then, Julian Give is the social professor at West Virginia.
He actually studies consumer protection consumer excuse me, consumer behavior,
but for the purposes of this you all, he actually
quite literally studies gift giving. So Professor Give is his name,
who studies gift giving. Let's start off the top here.
As we're talking to you, we're just a couple of
(01:11):
weeks away from Christmas. As we get closer and closer
to Christmas and people run out of time, what mustake?
What gift buying mistake? Do you see them making a lot?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Yeah? So thanks, first of all, thank you guys for
you know, having me on. And I think the number
one thing is I'm trying to give yourself enough time.
So I think we know a lot of research and
different areas, not just gift giving, but other other areas
where consumer is just over and over, we kind of
fail to give ourselves enough times when it comes to
(01:42):
you know, gift giving or other types of tasks or
whatever it may be. And I think gift giving is
when there's especially hard tasks that we're faced with as consumers,
right because we have, you know, sometimes dozens of recipients
that we have to give gifts too. So I think
starting early, and in this case right, probably starting very
in the next couple of days if you haven't already,
because if you don't, it's just going to be way
(02:03):
too challenging of a pass for you.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Well, yeah, what happens when we're procrastinators. Look, I used
to work when I was in high school and college.
I worked at Macy's and I would see on Christmas
Eve all of these I'm sorry, mostly men running in
and I happened to work in the lingerie department, and
they would just be grabbing anything and everything. And then
(02:26):
the next day after Christmas, I would see all their
wives in the return line saying he thought I would
wear this or that I would want this. What does
the biggest mistake people make when they wait until the
last minute?
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah, so funny enough, there's actually research showing that men,
we do, tend to start our holiday shopping later than
women than will women do. So maybe so you know
the evidence for it right right in your own experience, right,
And so I think I think the biggest thing, right
is that when you're when you're starting so late, it
just makes it challenging to really hit that home run
of a gift, right. You have to kind of you
have to go for these sort of just you know,
(02:59):
kind of standard items, right, gift cards or just random
you know, clothing that may not be a good match
or whatever, right, and it kind of it kind of
takes away the opportunity for you to really give those
sort of heartfelt you know, sentimental or you know experiential
gifts you know that are also often great, right, Sometimes
gifts are required just the planning and thought ahead of
time when you're starting so lait. It just it's just
(03:20):
too hard to hit on those for for all your
different recipients you might have.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, sounds like you're screwed. Yeah, the later you make
so as it gets later, here's another question, who should
be on your list of recipients? That's always a question.
Do I get a gift for my niece's boyfriend that
she's been with for eight months? Kind of a thing?
How do you determine who gets a gift?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yeah, so it's it's it's not a sort of you know,
concrete answer here, right, but I think at minimum, right,
come up with whoever is going to be giving you
a gift? Right, so that way you're not stuck in
that awkward position where you receive a gift and don't
have anything give back. In fact, I've researched showing that
that's one of those situations that make just feel very
very uncomfortable, unsurprisingly right as recipient from people, people do that.
(04:08):
So I would suggest, you know, start off making your
own list, and then also in addition to that just
be thinking about it. Okay, well, who am I going
to be seeing this time of year that might be
giving me one? Right? And it's funny, you know, actually
in talking to people, you learned and sometimes people are
like strategically like, oh well, I'm not gonna hang out
with my cousin between now and Christmas. That way, I'm
not on the whole give them give them a gift.
(04:31):
So it's it's a it's a delicate dance, but you know,
with some strategic planning, you know, hopefully you can do
a good job.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Julian, I'm going to admit something here, Especially when I
worked in an office and I was never sure who
was going to bring me a gift, I actually brought
extra gifts wrapped and just in case that happened, I
had a candle or a bottle of wine or something that.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I could say, here's your rift.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Is that wrong to prepare? And does that feel unthoughtful?
I really was just trying to save face and not
be embarrassed in those moments.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yeah, that's a great, great little antidote, And funny enough,
that's called gifting from the closet. I don't know if
you've heard the expression before. But people in fact, people
at work, it's common people have just like a drawer
where they have little things dashed away or at home.
The way where it comes from is because people literally
have a closet where at the top they just have
you know, candles and you know, I don't know, bottles
of wine, whatever. It may be that way that you
(05:24):
can have, you know, to give to what, you know,
if they find themselves in that kind of situation. I
don't think there are anything wrong with it, right because
I think with those types of recipients, right, there's a
different level of expectations. It's not like it's with your
you know, if you're doing that with your significant other,
maybe it's not the best thing, right, But if you're
doing it with you know, a co worker, maybe you
don't know all that well or you know, you weren't
expecting a gift from them. I think that's perfectly fine,
(05:46):
right because you're still kind of, you know, setting back
that message like, hey, I do care about you know,
here's here's a little token of my appreciation.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
You give folks advice on a budget. But later it
gets it seems like we'd be more prone to spin,
to overspin because we're desperate. But what is some advice
on budget at this late hour.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Yeah, so you know it's interesting certainly, you know, with
gift giving. One of the sort of I would say
less good things about it is that we put so
much pressure on ourselves that every year a lot of
consumers even go into debt, like you accumulate lots of
you know, credit card debt, which we know, you know,
high interest debt, right, So it's not not the best
thing in the world. I think part of the reason
(06:26):
is just because, like I said, you know, we put
so much pressure on ourselves to think that we have
to do give the best thing possible to every single person,
the most expensive thing, you know, we have to you know,
just just kind of you know, bumbar people with gifts.
And the good news is is that the research is
pretty adamant and showing that for gift givers, you know,
the prices of the gifts, we think it matters quite
(06:48):
a lot, but on the recipient side it doesn't matter
nearly as much as get givers anticipated. So if you
think about for gift givers, it's kind of like a
like a line upwards where we think the more money
we spend, the better the gift is. But for recipient,
you know, they're generally more appreciative kind of regardless of
the spending on the gift and the recipients, you know,
it does seem more important to them, just sort of
(07:08):
this idea of feeling appreciated, feeling like thought was put
into gift, you know, that kind of thing. So I
would suggest, you know, to gift givers out there, you know,
don't always kind of think you have to be, you know,
buying all these luxury products for others. Right, You're probably
probably don't need to be doing nearly as much as
that as you might think.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I'm actually curious if that can backfire, if you can
spend too much on a gift and make something that
you intended to be beautiful awkward.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah, one hundred percent. In fact, that there's even research
on this exact thing, so that like, hey, whenever you
put a lot of money into into a gift, people
sometimes especially for like recipients who like where it can
be like awkward. Right, People feel like Okay, they're uncomfortable, like, well,
why is this person doing this? Like this is a
little too much, right, So certainly that's that's definitely a consideration.
(07:55):
But it's one of those where whereas gift givers, I
think sometimes you know, for better for work, if we
don't realize it, right, we just think, oh my gosh,
like they're gonna love the you know, these I don't
know this rolex or whatever you know, and may be
you know, and you don't realize just how uncomfortable it is,
you know, especially for recipients, right, who might not have
the means to, you know, at any point kind of
reciprocate that kind of gift back, right. And another place
(08:16):
where this pops up a lot. Actually, one of the
papers was on in dating relationships, so in early stage relationships,
whenever this happens and the press liked, oh wow, well
this is a little bit weird, you know. So yeah,
that's that's that's a really good point. The overall, Okay,
on on the gifts.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
People give experiences, they give sentimental gifts, they give people
exactly what they ask for, They give cash, they give
gift cards. What is it in your research that you find, Professor,
givvey are the most satisfying gifts that people receive.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Yeah, so definitely a tricky question. If I had to
pick a couple of you know, a couple of answers.
So first, I think the research just not gift giving,
but in all of kind of consumer research, it's pretty
pretty conclusive suggesting that experiences do generally bring more happiness
to to people than than tangible items.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Right.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
And there's there's research, like I said, and gift giving
it shows the same exact thing. We're basically as recipient.
You know, when you whenever you receive that experience, you
kind of like it more than givers anticipate and brings
you closer to gift givers. Right. And you know, one
of one of the things about experiences is that they
are kind of in the minority when it comes to gifts, right,
because most of the gifts we're giving this time there
(09:31):
are more tangible items. But I think, you know, if
if we're going to follow the advice of you know,
consumer behavior, consumer psychology, and gift giving psychology, it does
suggest that experiences on average are maybe you know, a
bigger hit than uh, the more tangible items. And then
the second gift type of gift, and this is the
one I previously referred you guys as kind of the
cheat code, is the sentimental gifts because that's another one
(09:53):
where they're they're not given nearly nearly nearly as often
as kind of more superficial, kind of tangible, prefer and
matching gifts, but when we give them their home runs,
And like I had to explained previously, like the nice
thing about sentimental items is that whenever you receive one,
your happiness with it stays kind of flat or increases
over time. It doesn't decrease like our like our enjoyment
(10:15):
with you know, more superficial items like a cell phone
or you know, a treadmill or whatever it may be.
So I think sentimental gifts are a great one, and
it's one of those things when I try to convey
the point I tell everyone like, Okay, well, think about
some of the best gifts you've ever received, right, which
are the ones that really kind of almost you know,
make you cry at times? Right, Like, those are more
often than not sentinal gifts. And the last thing, you know,
this is kind of just a broad sort of blanket idea,
(10:38):
but I really think that recipients, at the end of
the day, they just want to feel cared for, right,
So any kind of gift that can show that, like, like, hey,
I care for you, I appreciate you. I'm signaling that
I value you, Like those are those are always going
to be good. You know, that could be a sentimental gift.
It could just be something show an effort. It could
be started showing that's hey, you know you know TJ
mentioned this. You know these these running shoes. It was
(11:00):
a few months ago when we were walking through the mall.
And look now I surprise them with them, right, Just
some something along those lines. So anything that just shows
just hey, I care, I appreciate you. I think those
are always going to be his. So just three overarching
no ideas. But at the same time, I will also
note there is a lot of you know, kind of
heterogeneity in people, right we I know, people are different,
(11:20):
so some things are better for others than others. And
in fact, you know, when I tell my sister about
the sentimental gift thing, she's like, oh, no, just give
me the cash, Like I don't, I don't want I
don't want anything sentiment. So there's differences across people, right.
So that's that's a one hundred percent to put that
out there too.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yes, And it would be wonderful if we could all
be mind readers and know what people want and what
they don't want. Is it okay to ask someone what
they want for a holiday or is that putting the
onus on them now to come up with your gift idea.
What do you say about that?
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Yeah, that that is an interesting point, and I think
sometimes it is. It feels like it's even harder right
to come up with ideas that we for things we
want ourselves than what for further people, right, And so
it definitely is putting a little bit of an onus
on on others. But I'll tell you the good news
is that the research does suggest that these things that
are explicitly requested are generally appreciated more than things that
(12:13):
that aren't requested, right, And that kind of makes sense
because you think when you were when you'd ask people, hey,
what do you want, they tell you, Hey, I want
this exact pair of headphones. You go and get them.
They're gonna be they're gonna be pretty happy as opposed
to you kind of having to have to guess at it. Right.
So I would say that's sort of the kind of
the good news behind it. But you are, you know,
putting a little bit more effort on their part.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Right, I know sometimes you mentioned your sister, and a
lot of people, especially younger people, might love to have
some cash. But what is your take or does the
research tell you the type of gifts that bring the
(12:54):
least satisfaction? Is there is there research on that? Essentially,
I'm asking what should we avoid giving people?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Okay, yeah, this is this is an interesting one. So
what I'll say is that people, you know, a broader
sort of theme that we're seeing in the literature is
in this the literarum gift giving. I should say is
that as recipients, where we often like gifts that long
term after the exchange, right, they bring us happiness and
utility and enjoyment. But as gift givers, oftentimes we kind
(13:24):
of prefer to give things that are better sort of
in the moment, right like that immediately right when they
open the gift, which that doesn't always map on to
what's the best gift in the long run. So I'll
tell people is like, look, if something is great in
the moment but kind of horrible down the road, like
it's not gonna make the best the best gift, right,
So something like you know, think about like a chocolate
fondo found in right like that is like, Okay, in
(13:44):
the moment, it might have a fun little gift, right,
but like, at the end of the day, how often
are you gonna end up using that thing? Right? And
so just this this and I hope I'm not you know,
touching on gifts, you guys are, but I think we've
all right, We've all received these things that that are
maybe like you know, gag gifts or what you know,
things that are kind of fun at the moment they
(14:05):
make for it, but then at the end day it's like,
all right, well, this is kind of like I'm not
going to enough ever using this thing. So yes, that
makes sense.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
And speaking of the moment when someone opens a gift,
how important is This might sound silly, but gift wrapping
does How much more special can someone feel if you
do a really good job wrapping the gift or if
you just hand it to them in a brown paper bag?
How much has there is the research on how that
affects the experience of getting or receiving a gift.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
So I'm going to tell you guys what the finding show.
And I think you're going to be shocked, because I
was shocked, clanker, this is not my research this is
other other people's research. But what they did was they
looked at how neat you wrap a present, right, do
you wrap it very neatly or do you sloppily wrap it?
And what they find is that whenever it's sloply wrapped,
you actually like the item more. And right, it's kind
(14:56):
of right, what right? Like I agree? Right? And so
what is the sort of psychology behind that is? Because
whenever something comes like neatly packaged, right, what that ends
up doing is it raises your expectations. She's think, oh wow,
this like look at these ribbit look at how nice
and clean everything is. But then whenever it's just you know,
kind of kind of thrown together, you're kind of okay,
(15:18):
this is going to be a piece of chunk like whatever.
Then you open it up and you see, oh wow,
this is like this you know, this brand of cologne
that I love, right, and that So that's that's you
know what the resers research on that, and uh yeah,
that's that's what it's what it shows.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
That makes so much sense though, now that you say
it about expectations, because yes, sometimes the most perfectly wrapped
gifts coming from like I don't know, sax fifth Avenue.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
It's like a key chain.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
You're like, oh wow, it looked like it was going
to be something so much better.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
That's that I use that trick when I cook, Julian,
I make a very good presentation.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
But that doesn't speak to it, like in terms of
you think about that is so funny. The expectations create
a different result when you open the present.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Last couple here for folks in relationships, what is there
a heightened sense I guess for men and women whoever's
in a relationship out there advice for because it's always stressful,
How do you buy for that person in your life?
What have you been able to see and study and
know that could help people who are out there still
scrambling to get something for their love.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Yeah, so I think kind of as we touched on earlier, right,
there's sort of different relationship stages, so that's obviously important
to sort of sort of take into account. And I
would say, you know, it feels like it feels like
romantic relationships is like that one. And then when people
talk about like in laws or the two where people
are like, okay, this is where things are getting real.
It's different than you know, giving my best friends. So
(16:49):
I would say, you know, for you for your relationship, right,
just I mean, you know your partner better than anyone, right.
That's that's the biggest thing, is like, and when you
talk to these to these couples, what you kind of
find is that people completely different strategies, you know, all
sorts of differ people have different strategies. Some people it's okay,
tell me what you want, they send a list, Person's
perfectly happy. Others it's like no, no, no, I want
you to know and you should know me. And if
(17:10):
you get me this these socks and I one of
these ones, like that's gonna you know, that's like a
deal breaker. Right. So I'd say, you know your partner,
you should have an idea as to what's going to
work for them, right, and just just follow that strategy
and you know, hopefully it would be good to go.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
And in terms of just figuring out the in laws,
do you have any strategies or family members that you
might not know that well, how do you go about
picking a gift for them?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:42):
One strategy that people tend to employ these situations is
they use kind of like third parties to help them out, right, expies. Right.
So if you don't know your in laws that well,
you talk to your partners say okay, what do I
get your brother or your mom or whoever? Right? And
that's usually a pretty pretty pretty successful successful one. So
I would say that's that's one more time that one.
(18:03):
That's it?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Right?
Speaker 3 (18:03):
It works well because you're you're in laws, don't you're
not asking them. And what's also nice about this is
not only does the person know, but you can also
use them to kind of ask on your behalf. Right,
So that way they in law is or whoever has
no idea, you know that's that's coming from you, but
it's still an item that they.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
That they like.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
One last thing for the people who are shopping, you've
also noticed, look, what is the right strategy? Because some
people get great satisfaction out of giving particular gifts. What
should I guess this is the strategy or some advice
for people who are trying to find something? But what
have you determined makes us happiest about the gifts we give?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
So as gift giver is right, there's sort of a
balance right between giving something that you want to give
versus the thing that that the recipient wants to receive, right,
So it's it's right because those don't always they don't always,
but not always the same thing, right, So I might
want to give, you know, my wife one thing and
she might you know, prefer something out. So it's definitely
a balance. And like I said before, I think one
(19:04):
of the key, one of the overarching you know keys
that everything with gift hitting is is that time component.
Because you give yourself enough time right now, only can
you find the gift right that you know that that
you know, can you find a good gift. But also
it allows you to sort of take the time to think, Okay,
you know, who am I? Who am I really trying
to please? Is it? And in some cases you end
up finding the one that that really pleases both of
(19:24):
you guys. Right, So it makes for a good, good,
uh sort of situation for all parties involved.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
And I have one last question for you, Julian about
when you're figuring out how much to spend, is there
a price point that research has shown is the sweet
spot that you spend on somebody where you didn't spend
too much and they feel uncomfortable, or you didn't spend
enough and they feel like wow, that's that's how you
think of me. Is there a sweet spot money wise
(19:50):
that you should consider when choosing gifts?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Yeah, you know, not not really because if you think
about like, it's just there's so much there's so much
variance in people, right, different income levels, right, you know,
the the what you're buying for, you know, a friend
who is you know, a college student, right, if you know,
right you told me your children, right, college students right there?
You know, buying for a college college student versus someone
(20:15):
you know who's uh, you know, who's very well off,
would say, right, that's going to be completely different. And
it also depends on how much you know, you yourself
are making. Right, that's in people. I think understand that, right,
And you know, funny enough, I'll actually tell you there's
research showing that, actually, I pay research showing that we
like to buy more expensive things for people who we
(20:35):
think are more well off as opposed to not as
well off, because we just kind of want to like
show like, hey, I could look, I can afford this
nice thing too. So I'd say that that there is
you know, there's not really necessarily a price for it
I can give you. I think it's it's going to vary, right,
based on the situation at the end of the day.
You know, I think if you, if you do your
job of you know that that signal I was talking
about earlier showing like, hey, I care about you, I
(20:56):
appreciate you, I value the recipient. You know, we'll appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Too, But more is better for me, baby, Ignore Julie
on that last time.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Yeah, quantity versus quality? Is there a study on that?
Because my kids I always think about how it's going
to look on Christmas morning when they wake up. How
is the quantity as important as the quality?
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
So there is, And actually it is. It is what
you kind of exactly like what you hit on. So
as givers, we tend to focus more on the well
we actually focus more on the quality of that item.
So we like to give kind of high quality items,
you know, a few flashier things. Whereas recipients, we do
tend to, relative to givers, you know, appreciate these these
high quantity of items in part because they oftentimes kind
(21:43):
of correlate to like how much usefulness I get out
of them down the road, Right, if I get I
don't know, like three really nice shirts, or if I
get you know ten, you know average church. I can
use the ten average churchs a lot more than three.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Really nice. So oh well, we told y'all he was good.
This is Julian Givey, yes that's his last name, Gibby,
who studies gift giving from West Virginia. Sir, we appreciate
it and get this, folks. If you like what he said,
hopefully this will get you squared away for Christmas. But
we have some questions for him. We're going to do
another episode and he's going to give us advice on
(22:16):
that dreaded return regifting situation.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Yeah, and do you write thank you notes? How do
you handle a gift you don't like? And all of
the do's and don'ts in terms of etiquette when it
comes to receiving gifts and perhaps yes, returning guests.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So we'll get into that with him. You can look
for that episode as well. But Julian, we appreciate your
kind sir. This has been great getting to know you
over the holiday. Thank you so much. Man.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Yeah, thank you for having me on. I appreciate it.
Hey, folks, we are getting closer and closer to Christmas Day,
and whatever you do, do not buy another Christmas gift
until you hear from this guy, our guest today, Ropes.
We had him on with our partners at Yahoo. They
were great to find him, and we loved him so
much and we had to get him back and we
(00:22):
had to get him on our podcast. He's that good,
that's right.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
We did a whole column on Yahoo Life in the
section there about gift giving and are we doing it right?
We were basically asking Julian if we were doing things
the right way. And I know a lot of people
have questions this time of year about who they should
give gifts to, well, type of gifts they should give,
how much should they spend. There are a litany of questions,
(00:48):
and Julian Give has all the answer.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Then, Julian Give is the social professor at West Virginia.
He actually studies consumer protection consumer excuse me, consumer behavior,
but for the purposes of this you all, he actually
quite literally studies gift giving. So Professor Give is his name,
who studies gift giving. Let's start off the top here.
As we're talking to you, we're just a couple of
(01:11):
weeks away from Christmas. As we get closer and closer
to Christmas and people run out of time, what mustake?
What gift buying mistake? Do you see them making a lot?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Yeah? So thanks, first of all, thank you guys for
you know, having me on. And I think the number
one thing is I'm trying to give yourself enough time.
So I think we know a lot of research and
different areas, not just gift giving, but other other areas
where consumer is just over and over, we kind of
fail to give ourselves enough times when it comes to
(01:42):
you know, gift giving or other types of tasks or
whatever it may be. And I think gift giving is
when there's especially hard tasks that we're faced with as consumers,
right because we have, you know, sometimes dozens of recipients
that we have to give gifts too. So I think
starting early, and in this case right, probably starting very
in the next couple of days if you haven't already,
because if you don't, it's just going to be way
(02:03):
too challenging of a pass for you.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Well, yeah, what happens when we're procrastinators. Look, I used
to work when I was in high school and college.
I worked at Macy's and I would see on Christmas
Eve all of these I'm sorry, mostly men running in
and I happened to work in the lingerie department, and
they would just be grabbing anything and everything. And then
(02:26):
the next day after Christmas, I would see all their
wives in the return line saying he thought I would
wear this or that I would want this. What does
the biggest mistake people make when they wait until the
last minute?
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah, so funny enough, there's actually research showing that men,
we do, tend to start our holiday shopping later than
women than will women do. So maybe so you know
the evidence for it right right in your own experience, right,
And so I think I think the biggest thing, right
is that when you're when you're starting so late, it
just makes it challenging to really hit that home run
of a gift, right. You have to kind of you
have to go for these sort of just you know,
(02:59):
kind of standard items, right, gift cards or just random
you know, clothing that may not be a good match
or whatever, right, and it kind of it kind of
takes away the opportunity for you to really give those
sort of heartfelt you know, sentimental or you know experiential
gifts you know that are also often great, right, Sometimes
gifts are required just the planning and thought ahead of
time when you're starting so lait. It just it's just
(03:20):
too hard to hit on those for for all your
different recipients you might have.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, sounds like you're screwed. Yeah, the later you make
so as it gets later, here's another question, who should
be on your list of recipients? That's always a question.
Do I get a gift for my niece's boyfriend that
she's been with for eight months? Kind of a thing?
How do you determine who gets a gift?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yeah, so it's it's it's not a sort of you know,
concrete answer here, right, but I think at minimum, right,
come up with whoever is going to be giving you
a gift? Right, so that way you're not stuck in
that awkward position where you receive a gift and don't
have anything give back. In fact, I've researched showing that
that's one of those situations that make just feel very
very uncomfortable, unsurprisingly right as recipient from people, people do that.
(04:08):
So I would suggest, you know, start off making your
own list, and then also in addition to that just
be thinking about it. Okay, well, who am I going
to be seeing this time of year that might be
giving me one? Right? And it's funny, you know, actually
in talking to people, you learned and sometimes people are
like strategically like, oh well, I'm not gonna hang out
with my cousin between now and Christmas. That way, I'm
not on the whole give them give them a gift.
(04:31):
So it's it's a it's a delicate dance, but you know,
with some strategic planning, you know, hopefully you can do
a good job.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Julian, I'm going to admit something here, Especially when I
worked in an office and I was never sure who
was going to bring me a gift, I actually brought
extra gifts wrapped and just in case that happened, I
had a candle or a bottle of wine or something that.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I could say, here's your rift.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Is that wrong to prepare? And does that feel unthoughtful?
I really was just trying to save face and not
be embarrassed in those moments.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yeah, that's a great, great little antidote, And funny enough,
that's called gifting from the closet. I don't know if
you've heard the expression before. But people in fact, people
at work, it's common people have just like a drawer
where they have little things dashed away or at home.
The way where it comes from is because people literally
have a closet where at the top they just have
you know, candles and you know, I don't know, bottles
of wine, whatever. It may be that way that you
(05:24):
can have, you know, to give to what, you know,
if they find themselves in that kind of situation. I
don't think there are anything wrong with it, right because
I think with those types of recipients, right, there's a
different level of expectations. It's not like it's with your
you know, if you're doing that with your significant other,
maybe it's not the best thing, right, But if you're
doing it with you know, a co worker, maybe you
don't know all that well or you know, you weren't
expecting a gift from them. I think that's perfectly fine,
(05:46):
right because you're still kind of, you know, setting back
that message like, hey, I do care about you know,
here's here's a little token of my appreciation.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
You give folks advice on a budget. But later it
gets it seems like we'd be more prone to spin,
to overspin because we're desperate. But what is some advice
on budget at this late hour.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Yeah, so you know it's interesting certainly, you know, with
gift giving. One of the sort of I would say
less good things about it is that we put so
much pressure on ourselves that every year a lot of
consumers even go into debt, like you accumulate lots of
you know, credit card debt, which we know, you know,
high interest debt, right, So it's not not the best
thing in the world. I think part of the reason
(06:26):
is just because, like I said, you know, we put
so much pressure on ourselves to think that we have
to do give the best thing possible to every single person,
the most expensive thing, you know, we have to you know,
just just kind of you know, bumbar people with gifts.
And the good news is is that the research is
pretty adamant and showing that for gift givers, you know,
the prices of the gifts, we think it matters quite
(06:48):
a lot, but on the recipient side it doesn't matter
nearly as much as get givers anticipated. So if you
think about for gift givers, it's kind of like a
like a line upwards where we think the more money
we spend, the better the gift is. But for recipient,
you know, they're generally more appreciative kind of regardless of
the spending on the gift and the recipients, you know,
it does seem more important to them, just sort of
(07:08):
this idea of feeling appreciated, feeling like thought was put
into gift, you know, that kind of thing. So I
would suggest, you know, to gift givers out there, you know,
don't always kind of think you have to be, you know,
buying all these luxury products for others. Right, You're probably
probably don't need to be doing nearly as much as
that as you might think.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I'm actually curious if that can backfire, if you can
spend too much on a gift and make something that
you intended to be beautiful awkward.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah, one hundred percent. In fact, that there's even research
on this exact thing, so that like, hey, whenever you
put a lot of money into into a gift, people
sometimes especially for like recipients who like where it can
be like awkward. Right, People feel like Okay, they're uncomfortable, like, well,
why is this person doing this? Like this is a
little too much, right, So certainly that's that's definitely a consideration.
(07:55):
But it's one of those where whereas gift givers, I
think sometimes you know, for better for work, if we
don't realize it, right, we just think, oh my gosh,
like they're gonna love the you know, these I don't
know this rolex or whatever you know, and may be
you know, and you don't realize just how uncomfortable it is,
you know, especially for recipients, right, who might not have
the means to, you know, at any point kind of
reciprocate that kind of gift back, right. And another place
(08:16):
where this pops up a lot. Actually, one of the
papers was on in dating relationships, so in early stage relationships,
whenever this happens and the press liked, oh wow, well
this is a little bit weird, you know. So yeah,
that's that's that's a really good point. The overall, Okay,
on on the gifts.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
People give experiences, they give sentimental gifts, they give people
exactly what they ask for, They give cash, they give
gift cards. What is it in your research that you find, Professor,
givvey are the most satisfying gifts that people receive.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Yeah, so definitely a tricky question. If I had to
pick a couple of you know, a couple of answers.
So first, I think the research just not gift giving,
but in all of kind of consumer research, it's pretty
pretty conclusive suggesting that experiences do generally bring more happiness
to to people than than tangible items.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Right.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
And there's there's research, like I said, and gift giving
it shows the same exact thing. We're basically as recipient.
You know, when you whenever you receive that experience, you
kind of like it more than givers anticipate and brings
you closer to gift givers. Right. And you know, one
of one of the things about experiences is that they
are kind of in the minority when it comes to gifts, right,
because most of the gifts we're giving this time there
(09:31):
are more tangible items. But I think, you know, if
if we're going to follow the advice of you know,
consumer behavior, consumer psychology, and gift giving psychology, it does
suggest that experiences on average are maybe you know, a
bigger hit than uh, the more tangible items. And then
the second gift type of gift, and this is the
one I previously referred you guys as kind of the
cheat code, is the sentimental gifts because that's another one
(09:53):
where they're they're not given nearly nearly nearly as often
as kind of more superficial, kind of tangible, prefer and
matching gifts, but when we give them their home runs,
And like I had to explained previously, like the nice
thing about sentimental items is that whenever you receive one,
your happiness with it stays kind of flat or increases
over time. It doesn't decrease like our like our enjoyment
(10:15):
with you know, more superficial items like a cell phone
or you know, a treadmill or whatever it may be.
So I think sentimental gifts are a great one, and
it's one of those things when I try to convey
the point I tell everyone like, Okay, well, think about
some of the best gifts you've ever received, right, which
are the ones that really kind of almost you know,
make you cry at times? Right, Like, those are more
often than not sentinal gifts. And the last thing, you know,
this is kind of just a broad sort of blanket idea,
(10:38):
but I really think that recipients, at the end of
the day, they just want to feel cared for, right,
So any kind of gift that can show that, like, like, hey,
I care for you, I appreciate you. I'm signaling that
I value you, Like those are those are always going
to be good. You know, that could be a sentimental gift.
It could just be something show an effort. It could
be started showing that's hey, you know you know TJ
mentioned this. You know these these running shoes. It was
(11:00):
a few months ago when we were walking through the mall.
And look now I surprise them with them, right, Just
some something along those lines. So anything that just shows
just hey, I care, I appreciate you. I think those
are always going to be his. So just three overarching
no ideas. But at the same time, I will also
note there is a lot of you know, kind of
heterogeneity in people, right we I know, people are different,
(11:20):
so some things are better for others than others. And
in fact, you know, when I tell my sister about
the sentimental gift thing, she's like, oh, no, just give
me the cash, Like I don't, I don't want I
don't want anything sentiment. So there's differences across people, right.
So that's that's a one hundred percent to put that
out there too.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yes, And it would be wonderful if we could all
be mind readers and know what people want and what
they don't want. Is it okay to ask someone what
they want for a holiday or is that putting the
onus on them now to come up with your gift idea.
What do you say about that?
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Yeah, that that is an interesting point, and I think
sometimes it is. It feels like it's even harder right
to come up with ideas that we for things we
want ourselves than what for further people, right, And so
it definitely is putting a little bit of an onus
on on others. But I'll tell you the good news
is that the research does suggest that these things that
are explicitly requested are generally appreciated more than things that
(12:13):
that aren't requested, right, And that kind of makes sense
because you think when you were when you'd ask people, hey,
what do you want, they tell you, Hey, I want
this exact pair of headphones. You go and get them.
They're gonna be they're gonna be pretty happy as opposed
to you kind of having to have to guess at it. Right.
So I would say that's sort of the kind of
the good news behind it. But you are, you know,
putting a little bit more effort on their part.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Right, I know sometimes you mentioned your sister, and a
lot of people, especially younger people, might love to have
some cash. But what is your take or does the
research tell you the type of gifts that bring the
(12:54):
least satisfaction? Is there is there research on that? Essentially,
I'm asking what should we avoid giving people?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Okay, yeah, this is this is an interesting one. So
what I'll say is that people, you know, a broader
sort of theme that we're seeing in the literature is
in this the literarum gift giving. I should say is
that as recipients, where we often like gifts that long
term after the exchange, right, they bring us happiness and
utility and enjoyment. But as gift givers, oftentimes we kind
(13:24):
of prefer to give things that are better sort of
in the moment, right like that immediately right when they
open the gift, which that doesn't always map on to
what's the best gift in the long run. So I'll
tell people is like, look, if something is great in
the moment but kind of horrible down the road, like
it's not gonna make the best the best gift, right,
So something like you know, think about like a chocolate
fondo found in right like that is like, Okay, in
(13:44):
the moment, it might have a fun little gift, right,
but like, at the end of the day, how often
are you gonna end up using that thing? Right? And
so just this this and I hope I'm not you know,
touching on gifts, you guys are, but I think we've
all right, We've all received these things that that are
maybe like you know, gag gifts or what you know,
things that are kind of fun at the moment they
(14:05):
make for it, but then at the end day it's like,
all right, well, this is kind of like I'm not
going to enough ever using this thing. So yes, that
makes sense.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
And speaking of the moment when someone opens a gift,
how important is This might sound silly, but gift wrapping
does How much more special can someone feel if you
do a really good job wrapping the gift or if
you just hand it to them in a brown paper bag?
How much has there is the research on how that
affects the experience of getting or receiving a gift.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
So I'm going to tell you guys what the finding show.
And I think you're going to be shocked, because I
was shocked, clanker, this is not my research this is
other other people's research. But what they did was they
looked at how neat you wrap a present, right, do
you wrap it very neatly or do you sloppily wrap it?
And what they find is that whenever it's sloply wrapped,
you actually like the item more. And right, it's kind
(14:56):
of right, what right? Like I agree? Right? And so
what is the sort of psychology behind that is? Because
whenever something comes like neatly packaged, right, what that ends
up doing is it raises your expectations. She's think, oh wow,
this like look at these ribbit look at how nice
and clean everything is. But then whenever it's just you know,
kind of kind of thrown together, you're kind of okay,
(15:18):
this is going to be a piece of chunk like whatever.
Then you open it up and you see, oh wow,
this is like this you know, this brand of cologne
that I love, right, and that So that's that's you
know what the resers research on that, and uh yeah,
that's that's what it's what it shows.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
That makes so much sense though, now that you say
it about expectations, because yes, sometimes the most perfectly wrapped
gifts coming from like I don't know, sax fifth Avenue.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
It's like a key chain.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
You're like, oh wow, it looked like it was going
to be something so much better.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
That's that I use that trick when I cook, Julian,
I make a very good presentation.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
But that doesn't speak to it, like in terms of
you think about that is so funny. The expectations create
a different result when you open the present.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Last couple here for folks in relationships, what is there
a heightened sense I guess for men and women whoever's
in a relationship out there advice for because it's always stressful,
How do you buy for that person in your life?
What have you been able to see and study and
know that could help people who are out there still
scrambling to get something for their love.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Yeah, so I think kind of as we touched on earlier, right,
there's sort of different relationship stages, so that's obviously important
to sort of sort of take into account. And I
would say, you know, it feels like it feels like
romantic relationships is like that one. And then when people
talk about like in laws or the two where people
are like, okay, this is where things are getting real.
It's different than you know, giving my best friends. So
(16:49):
I would say, you know, for you for your relationship, right,
just I mean, you know your partner better than anyone, right.
That's that's the biggest thing, is like, and when you
talk to these to these couples, what you kind of
find is that people completely different strategies, you know, all
sorts of differ people have different strategies. Some people it's okay,
tell me what you want, they send a list, Person's
perfectly happy. Others it's like no, no, no, I want
you to know and you should know me. And if
(17:10):
you get me this these socks and I one of
these ones, like that's gonna you know, that's like a
deal breaker. Right. So I'd say, you know your partner,
you should have an idea as to what's going to
work for them, right, and just just follow that strategy
and you know, hopefully it would be good to go.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
And in terms of just figuring out the in laws,
do you have any strategies or family members that you
might not know that well, how do you go about
picking a gift for them?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:42):
One strategy that people tend to employ these situations is
they use kind of like third parties to help them out, right, expies. Right.
So if you don't know your in laws that well,
you talk to your partners say okay, what do I
get your brother or your mom or whoever? Right? And
that's usually a pretty pretty pretty successful successful one. So
I would say that's that's one more time that one.
(18:03):
That's it?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Right?
Speaker 3 (18:03):
It works well because you're you're in laws, don't you're
not asking them. And what's also nice about this is
not only does the person know, but you can also
use them to kind of ask on your behalf. Right,
So that way they in law is or whoever has
no idea, you know that's that's coming from you, but
it's still an item that they.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
That they like.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
One last thing for the people who are shopping, you've
also noticed, look, what is the right strategy? Because some
people get great satisfaction out of giving particular gifts. What
should I guess this is the strategy or some advice
for people who are trying to find something? But what
have you determined makes us happiest about the gifts we give?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
So as gift giver is right, there's sort of a
balance right between giving something that you want to give
versus the thing that that the recipient wants to receive, right,
So it's it's right because those don't always they don't always,
but not always the same thing, right, So I might
want to give, you know, my wife one thing and
she might you know, prefer something out. So it's definitely
a balance. And like I said before, I think one
(19:04):
of the key, one of the overarching you know keys
that everything with gift hitting is is that time component.
Because you give yourself enough time right now, only can
you find the gift right that you know that that
you know, can you find a good gift. But also
it allows you to sort of take the time to think, Okay,
you know, who am I? Who am I really trying
to please? Is it? And in some cases you end
up finding the one that that really pleases both of
(19:24):
you guys. Right, So it makes for a good, good,
uh sort of situation for all parties involved.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
And I have one last question for you, Julian about
when you're figuring out how much to spend, is there
a price point that research has shown is the sweet
spot that you spend on somebody where you didn't spend
too much and they feel uncomfortable, or you didn't spend
enough and they feel like wow, that's that's how you
think of me. Is there a sweet spot money wise
(19:50):
that you should consider when choosing gifts?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Yeah, you know, not not really because if you think
about like, it's just there's so much there's so much
variance in people, right, different income levels, right, you know,
the the what you're buying for, you know, a friend
who is you know, a college student, right, if you know,
right you told me your children, right, college students right there?
You know, buying for a college college student versus someone
(20:15):
you know who's uh, you know, who's very well off,
would say, right, that's going to be completely different. And
it also depends on how much you know, you yourself
are making. Right, that's in people. I think understand that, right,
And you know, funny enough, I'll actually tell you there's
research showing that, actually, I pay research showing that we
like to buy more expensive things for people who we
(20:35):
think are more well off as opposed to not as
well off, because we just kind of want to like
show like, hey, I could look, I can afford this
nice thing too. So I'd say that that there is
you know, there's not really necessarily a price for it
I can give you. I think it's it's going to vary, right,
based on the situation at the end of the day.
You know, I think if you, if you do your
job of you know that that signal I was talking
about earlier showing like, hey, I care about you, I
(20:56):
appreciate you, I value the recipient. You know, we'll appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Too, But more is better for me, baby, Ignore Julie
on that last time.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Yeah, quantity versus quality? Is there a study on that?
Because my kids I always think about how it's going
to look on Christmas morning when they wake up. How
is the quantity as important as the quality?
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
So there is, And actually it is. It is what
you kind of exactly like what you hit on. So
as givers, we tend to focus more on the well
we actually focus more on the quality of that item.
So we like to give kind of high quality items,
you know, a few flashier things. Whereas recipients, we do
tend to, relative to givers, you know, appreciate these these
high quantity of items in part because they oftentimes kind
(21:43):
of correlate to like how much usefulness I get out
of them down the road, Right, if I get I
don't know, like three really nice shirts, or if I
get you know ten, you know average church. I can
use the ten average churchs a lot more than three.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Really nice. So oh well, we told y'all he was good.
This is Julian Givey, yes that's his last name, Gibby,
who studies gift giving from West Virginia. Sir, we appreciate
it and get this, folks. If you like what he said,
hopefully this will get you squared away for Christmas. But
we have some questions for him. We're going to do
another episode and he's going to give us advice on
(22:16):
that dreaded return regifting situation.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Yeah, and do you write thank you notes? How do
you handle a gift you don't like? And all of
the do's and don'ts in terms of etiquette when it
comes to receiving gifts and perhaps yes, returning guests.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So we'll get into that with him. You can look
for that episode as well. But Julian, we appreciate your
kind sir. This has been great getting to know you
over the holiday. Thank you so much. Man.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Yeah, thank you for having me on. I appreciate it.
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