April 7, 2021 • 62 mins
Langston Kerman (Insecure, The Boys) surprises the show and discusses time he accidentally witnessed a beheading on a work computer. He and Roy speak with a woman about a rise in hiring at domestic violence shelters during the pandemic. Roy recalls the conspiracy theory about Billy Blanks he brought to Langston’s “My Momma Told Me” podcast. And Rod4Short recommends talking to your Black co-workers about Lil Nas X’s Satan shoes.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy Central now hiring. Who's hiring that there, Jacqueline. Uh,
wait a minute, Roy, there's something else. There's a great
story right here about Wait a minute, is this your
National Guard article that I'm reading. Fox is developing an
(00:21):
untitled single camera comedy ridden and starring The Daily Show
correspondent Roy Wood Jr. He will executive produce the project,
Fellowship not Hiring. Wood Jr. Will executive produce the project
with fellow actor comedian Dennis Leary. As via the song
(00:51):
that's doesn't mean I'm hiring. That is just a thing
that happened, and it's still a chance to get a chance.
How dare you share public information on this acoustical radio
program which is also very public which you could also google,
like you said, And in the show, working in service
(01:12):
to a bunch of thankless Americans, members of often National
Guard use their time on domestic deployment. Start to show,
Start to show, over, start the music the show. I
started the music over you. Does that count? That's kind
of black woman off? I hope not. No, I'm Roy,
(01:43):
this is my job. Fair Welcome, Welcome aboard. We're gonna
have a little bit of fun. Today cracking jobs in
the world of employment and helping connect people with jobs.
No theme this week, I don't think j g um,
nothing that I could find unless you think about where
the people are from. Well, I know we have a
(02:05):
woman from Chicago calling in. I know we have another
brother calling there for worst than first from Chicago. But um,
we're gonna explore the world. How can I put this? Um, Well,
there's no easy way to put it. We're gonna explore
the world of domestic violence and how COVID has affected
the needs for staffing in that world when people are
(02:28):
doing outreach to help people in need. So we're gonna
speak with a woman who's got that going on. Scam
of the week, Uh comes to us from I think,
is it a video star? Where is this guy work
that you get wrecked up? It was this video store
a while back. And it's an interesting thing that they
did with your deposits. Oh ship, they kept them. Probably
(02:49):
if it's a scam, just give it away. Well we'll
we'll we'll get to that as well. Naomi Narado Rod
for sure, we'll give you some tips on how to
break the ice. Coworkers of a different race. But I
want to start off. I want to start off. I
want to I want to talk about this vaccine stuff
for a second. We were talking about it last week
and New York finally opened it up to thirty and over,
(03:13):
which you mean to me, you know, And there's a
lot more states that are opening it up and all
sidebar j G user feedback. Thank you to people who
have emailed us uh Royce chop Fair at gmail dot
com also hitting us up on the socials at Royce
job Fair. They said that I can take all three
vaccines and not worry about any real adverse reactions. You're
(03:39):
listening to people on the internet. I'm just asking just
clarify this for me, that you're listening to people on
the internet the medical views and opinions of roy Wood Jr.
And not those off I Heart Media via Time CPS,
So the roy Wood Junior m Royce job Fire podcast
or j G we please advise you to not take
(04:00):
multiple vaccines. I'm still gonna do it. What's because here's
the thing. When you go get the vaccine for all
the COVID questions that they ask you. Now, like you've
done the COVID questionnaire, have you in fourteen days been
to the country that has all the ship, and have
you traveled, has has a motherfucker coughed on you in
(04:23):
a in a Boston market? If so, you cannot do
the head of that. The one question they don't ask
you is if you already got the vaccine, because there's
a list, and also every last one of those little
vials they have your name already associated with the number
(04:45):
that's on it. The federal government has to know who's
taking the vaccine. Ask me why, Ask me why? I know?
Why do you know? J G? I ticket WHOA I
got it? I know? I know you talked all that
(05:09):
ship last week. Hmm, all that stuff. What you say
last week? Well, you know, I'm not sure if I'm
going to take it because I have an aunt and
we have similar DNA strands, so I will be monitoring
her vitals over the next that you just went and
took the ship. I did it. They called my number.
(05:30):
I was up and I said, okay, let's do it.
What nothing, I'm just but I didn't take three of them.
I didn't take three different ones. I just feel like
that's something that you would that My therapist is telling
me that it's not that I shouldn't project my expectations
(05:52):
of a relationship when a person when I haven't expressed
my needs to that person. And that's what I almost
did with you just now. I just thought that we
were in the type of friendship where you would have
where you would have just said that to me before
you did it, Like I shouldn't be finding out on
the show that you wouldn't got the vaccine before me,
(06:13):
because I was like all skeptical and you was all skeptical.
So I was like, well, find she ain't gonna do it.
I ain't gonna do They just found out you didn't
did the ship. I did it. So when they call
your number, just go and you can only take one.
We're not we want to travel again. Okay, Okay, I
am traveling, So we want to get out there again.
(06:33):
We want you on stage again. Yeah. I don't have
a choice because the other part of that article that
you didn't read was them talking about Comedy Central and
gave me a third hour special, so I can't develop
them jokes on the computer. I didn't know that part.
I just read the top part that is outstanding. Congratulations.
Well we'll see, we'll see. We can show what the jokes.
(06:57):
I'm gonna tell you yet, we'll see, that's what I meant.
Or a year, what you mean, what are you going
to You'll see you try? What have you even doing
it for a year? Not doing stand up comedy? So
that means you're writing correct, yes, but you have to
tune it up. You don't just walk out with perfect
(07:18):
jokes straight from your damn notebook. I hope not. We'll see.
I am excited. I can't say where I'm going to
shoot it yet, but we do have a city that
I am excited about. And you know, I don't get
excited about a lot of ship, but I really truly
am excited about that opportunity. So that's gonna be cool. Congratulations.
(07:40):
I think I'm more excited. I'm concerned cause you ain't
gonna write the jokes. That's why you're excited. You ain't
got to go out on stage or potentially suck for
an hour. Not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen. No
one believes that Twitter, nigga fuck you and your podcast
oh trash. I don't even believe any of that, so
(08:03):
I'm not gonna listen to you. So congratulations again. Well,
thank you, Thank you, You're welcome. Okay, so you got
you got the vaccine. I guess I gotta get it
now so we can compare notes. Yes. My only concern though,
is that the vaccine I got, I'm told is delivered
(08:24):
to mostly minority communities, and I'm like, who's tracking that? Yeah? Yeah,
And my brother said that too, because he's in the military.
He wondered why I want to take all three because
I want to bury my basi is covered. You're not okay,
you're just admitted to taking the pope's chicken vaccine. I
(08:48):
want that good grocery store chicken vaccine. I want the public's.
I want some pot quality with that top shelf. I
want the shot factors. YEA cheesecake factory menu is like
a damn dictionary. They should be embarrassed. It's wrong. I'm
sure they're gonna cut all this, But you go in there,
You're like, oh no, but it's good. It's it's just
(09:12):
you better know what the funk you want for you
get the cheesecake factory. That's why I'd be a two
hour weight on the table. Nick is just flipping through menus. Now,
that's true. Now I do look before I get there
and figure out what I want, because that's just ridiculous.
You need to study cheesecake factory a week in advance,
like airplane seat and charts. We need to get someone
who works there on your show to tell us the
(09:33):
secrets and the tips so we can get this done better.
I want to know what cheesecake factory keep hiring people
and making them wear white sneakers, knowing them things gonna
be dusty brown in two weeks. Why are you looking
at their shoes because anybody with dirty shops, especially dirty
white shoes, I don't be trusting. And they make them
wear white net, dirty gas. And that was voting Corral.
(09:54):
I had black shoes. You couldn't tell. That's that's right, Okay,
I'm with you had them shoes for two years? She
rain water seeping out the side, drifting. What was this
article you found before? We're getting to worse than first. Oh,
it's about your best and words holiday gifts from the office,
so you know when they give you that dollar amount
(10:15):
that you're supposed to buy gifts. So what's your best
and what's your worst? You've ever? Oh? This is the
advice I see. You'll text me about this ship. But
you won't text me about you getting the vaccine. I
didn't think about it. You didn't text me that you
were getting this show that you're hiring for. But go
hey mm to shame. Okay again, we're not hiring. We
(10:41):
are in development and we're writing a script and if
they like the script, then I will have jobs to feel.
That's excellent. I want to know something about something. Okay,
I see what you're talking about. Okay, yeah, Oh, the
the the advice that you email me. Okay, this advice column,
(11:04):
job things. Read the question because I just I want
people to understand the context of this, because Jacqueline and
I got into a little bit of an argument about this.
It's basically, how do you address an offensive gift at
an office holiday party? So what do you tell people
they give you something that's offensive, like some secrets, but
(11:27):
its secret Santa, so you ain't supposed to know, Like
what's offensive? Are we talking like a sexual gift of that?
It could be maybe a pen doll that's black and
you're putting pens in it. Just crazy stuff, a white elephant.
I don't know. Have you ever received a terrible gifts? Oh?
(11:51):
I've received numerous terrible gifts in my life. Don't say
exactly what it is, because you might hurt someone's feelings
so that they know they did you tell them. I
didn't tell him, but I talked about it on another
podcast and it got back to her, and you know
it's fine anymore. I so all right. So they before
(12:15):
we do worst and first jobs, let's do worse and worse.
What's the worst gift you've ever received. I'll go first.
I'll tell you the worst gift I've ever received and
the worst gift I've ever given someone. Now, these weren't
necessarily Secret Santa Sabar. I've gotten some good ass gifts
(12:35):
at work on the Secret Santa tip I got. I
got an iPod the first year the iPod touch, so
that's like iPhone two, iPhone three era. That was a
good ass gift. And I remember bringing some bullshit to
the office Secret Santa, and I left that iPod. I
(12:55):
was like, yes, they knew it, they knew it was you. Also,
I think they felt bad because I was only getting
twenty seven hours no dental and I had to root
canals that year. I deserved that one. Um the worst
gift I've ever given someone the worst gift I've ever
been given. That's what you asked me, right, The worst
(13:19):
gift I've ever been given was for my birthday a
woman that I was dating at the time, the Hunger
Games trilogy Heartback. Why is that a bad gift? Because
I don't funk with the Hunger Games. It's not that
I hate books, but it was one of those gifts
(13:41):
where I felt like you you really don't know anything
about me. Like this was when The Hunger Games first premiered,
and you know, you know, when the movie come out
based on the book, they moved the books to the
front of the walmart and ship and I guess she
saw the books and was like, oh, I just could
It's got fire on the cover and some bow and
(14:04):
arrow woman. He might like this. It's like, I wouldn't
pick a movie for you if I if you know
the genre of stuff that I like, right, Yeah, that
I don't know that that one kind of It was
one of those when you look back on ultimately that's
breaking up. I look back on that gift, I don't go, oh,
that was the first sign mm hmm, you know that
(14:27):
we wasn't gonna work out, was you know, this gift
wasn't you know? And I'm not even a gift person.
I would rather just not gotten a gift. Mm hmm
copy that. Um best gift? No, No, we're doing worse
and worse. Oh, worst and worst. Worst gift I ever
got was hunger game books. Worst gift I ever gave
(14:50):
someone Billy Blanks Tibo DVD, entire Boxer. But he was
good to a woman I was dating at the time. Yeah,
that was wrong. You just told her she was fat.
Did she throw them at you? Yep? She she didn't
(15:10):
throw them, but there was a there was a brief
period of digestion of the of her emotions in the moment.
Here's why I'm not wrong. No, you were. No, you
can't defend this. You told her she was fat. Here's
why I was not wrong. The entire year leading up
(15:34):
to Christmas, every time that Billy blank shitt came on TV,
all she said was man, I keep meaning the order
that she kept saying it. I'm a man who listens
to his woman. You gotta know when to listen. It
was not to hear. It's a It's also important Editor's note.
(15:57):
I was twenty five years old. I don't know twenty
four somewhere in there. But but that's what they say.
Listen to the woman. Woman, Dave won't. Woman, you can't
listen to us, but you need to listen to us.
What they don't fucking mention Billy Blanks every time the
(16:19):
Nickel come on TV. Then every time Billy Blanks came
on TV, she will go all set, man, I need
to get the time. I'm get one of them, DV.
I got you all of them. But you were supposed
to tell her that you're going to work out with
her if you got them, but you literally just told
her I agree with you. You are fans And it's
(16:40):
not pH a t. That ship was one hundred and
eighty something dollars. If you're interested in how much it costs,
it doesn't matter dollars at a time where nights and
weekends didn't start to the nine pm, and I didn't
have dental and I had to re commence, what is
it with you this? And she she didn't throw him
(17:03):
at me, but she it was clear that I this
is not going to be a good week for me.
And what did you get her? I mean, what did
she get you? I don't know, something meaningful and thoughtful,
probably a charger from my iPod touch that chas a
(17:23):
nice case of something that's wrong. She won't let me
live it down either. Every nine and then we crossed
paths on social media. Yes, like some Billy Blank Ship
will come up. She'll tag me in the comments just
to be an asshole. I wonder what's his pivot. I
(17:44):
wonder what is he doing now? Ship? He pivot into
spending all that money he made. He was in a
Geico commercial that's good for it was. Yeah, somebody told
me a hilarious story about Billy Blanks that I know
isn't true. I talked about it more in depth on
Langston Kerman's podcasts um My Mama told me, if you
want to hear it in detail, go over there. But basically,
(18:07):
Billy Blanks was up for the role of Passenger fifty seven.
He was up for the lead role in Passenger fifty seven,
and Wesley Snipes called him and told him the wrong
place for the audition, So Billy Blanks never showed up
and Westley Snipes got the part. It's so not true,
(18:27):
like it can't be true, But there's a piece of
me that keeps holding onto that story. Just hoping that
it is because it's so fucking funny. That's that's wrong,
that's the ultimate and pity. That's what should I would do?
You would not such a no no. You say these things,
but people don't know. You are super nice, dirty game,
(18:48):
dirty world, j G. Whatever, you're super nice. You can
tell people what you want, but you are super nice.
All right, we gotta get into this verse of person
a second, Give me yours? What are your wors and
what's the worst to gif you've ever given to? You?
Probably don't give bad gifts, I can tell. Actually, just
give people things that are not open around my house.
I'm so serious. If it's not game, I don't hate
(19:13):
that game. Yeah, but like what like glass ware? Like
give me an example, some ship that's just in your house,
something that someone's probably given me. What like bath and
body works, lotions or gift baskets. I get a lot
of gift baskets. It's weird. I don't know why you
get offended? Do you get offended by those I love?
(19:36):
Why not? Why not? That's somebody a gift basket of bathroom?
But that should somebody telling you wash your ass? You're
not mad at them? Oh? Can I buy my a
hundred and eighty dollars worth of Billy Branks DVDs, and
I'm a terrible person. Yeah, because you called a fat
I didn't call it fatid you agreed that you co
(19:58):
signed it. I simply heard you state a goal. You
stated the need. I fulfilled the need. It was wrong.
That's it. It was wrong. Let's let's go to worst,
and first we get to run in our mouth. We've
got to keep this thing moving. Uh j G. Who's
(20:19):
on the line. We actually have Langston from Chicago. Welcome
to Roy's job fair. What's your name? Man? And give
me your worst to your first. Hey, Roy, I'm so
excited to be here, my my worst. I'll go with you.
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Yeah, that's
(20:40):
Langston Kerman. Oh, it's goddamn Langs and Kerman. What occasionally
on television sent hand ship leanson garment Insecureed Lengkerman, the
host of The Black k let me get the title
of you ship, right? The host of the is it
(21:03):
the Black? No, it's the my mama told me. There
you go. My mama told me podcast? Which focus is that? Jacqueline'
gonna love this? You got a podcast. All you do
is talk about crazy ship there black people be all
the crazy roomors you get on the phone, lightening to
strike you, all of the You call it crazy. I
call it facts that the the untold facts that black
(21:26):
people maintain in their lives. Well, tell me about your
worst job or your first job. My worst job one summer,
uh and me while I was in college, my dad
got me a job where I was basically a spammer
for an internet company where like they were starting this
(21:47):
is uh twenty two thousand and eight. This is two
thousand and eight. The recession had uh had not yet
hit us in a way that we we knew it
was coming. So okay, jobs were available and this this
job apparently they were starting something called digital FunTown dot Com,
which was Hey, I'm still trying to figure it out. Hey,
(22:13):
it wasn't not that, but it was. It was basically
meant to be a competitor for adult Swim, where they
made animation, and they wanted us to go on like
Twitter and other blog sites to secretly promote for it
by like engaging with the audience but then being like,
now y'all need to check out digital FunTown dot com.
(22:35):
So I would have to like go on hip hop
blogs to be like, hey, that nigga can rap, but
you know who really raps is these people over here
at digital FunTown dot com. And there's no rap there.
You just had to lie to them. Uh. And so
I would spend hours each day on digital, on various
sites promoting digital FunTown dot com until I accidentally ended
(22:59):
up on some site where I was watching a puppy video.
It was like a puppy and a kitten and they
were playing together, and it was warm in my heart
and bringing me all the kindnesses that you want to
feel on your inside that you get the you get
the premise of puppy, so that the the puppy and
the kitten are playing together. And then for some reason,
(23:20):
the video stops, it breaks, and then it immediately turns
into a video of someone getting their head sawed off
in the middle of like a street with people surrounding them.
And so I just had to watch a man be beheaded,
and then UH explained to my boss that I couldn't
work anymore digital. I guess we know the answer now.
(23:46):
It did not catch on, It didn't make it. It's weird.
I don't know what happened. Uh, it's almost like paying
people to spam for your weird uh animation site isn't
the way to go. But in a way, what you
did at the time was kind of ahead of its
time because people buy fake followers and fake to create
fake engagement and all of that stuff. Y'all was old
(24:09):
school with it not my fun this whole world star
and back in them days, go on Lipstick Alley Go's world.
What you know about e Bomb's world? Man? That went
that was my first viral was off of EVA. They
posted a prey call back in the day. Yo. Man,
(24:31):
that's that's insane. Man, I'm sorry it happened to you. Um,
you know what I would love to do, Man, I
would love for you to hang out with It's just
for a second if you've got time, uh to just
post up with me for a little bit. Um, we're
gonna get into the world of employment. We're gonna talk
to some folks that that's that's offering real jobs that
I are better than digital FunTown dot com. If you
want to be a part of the job Fair and
(24:51):
contribute your worst and first, please email the show Roy's
Job Fair at gmail dot com. Roy's job Fair at
gmail dot calm or hit us up on social at
Roy's job Fair. After the break, we are going to
talk to someone that is helping women deal with tragedy.
(25:11):
And they are hiring, which means that they're hiring where
she is. They're probably hiring where you are. Langston Kerman
is gonna hang out with me. We're gonna talk to
this wonderful woman. It's a job fair. We'll be right
back Roy's job Fair. We are back the homie Langston
(25:33):
Kerman from TVs Insecure and the Boys and the Amazon.
His podcast is my Mama told me available. Whatever you
steal acoustical radio presentations, why do you have to steal them?
I know they're free. It feels better when you steal it.
(25:53):
You know something's supposed to have it. Just you know,
stolen food tastes better. We got to go on the
Crimes Free JJ. You acting scared and ship I know
you in higher education and every nine. Then wait a minute,
what if my own crushes say, are you never scared? Bingam? Okay? Professor?
(26:14):
All right, it's god. Look, we're gonna start small with you.
You probably one of them people you eat fruit in
the produce department being confess to that ship at the register,
don't you do Okay? I thought you were saying I
just walked around ate it and didn't pay for it.
I'm like, ma'am, this was like two pounds of grapes.
If you could just charge me for that, I would
(26:34):
appreciate it. Just add four point two ounces back to
my total. Please, I just be eating all the craze,
all right. This is a part of the show where
we talk to people out there in the world of
your company is hiring and you would like to come
on a job fair and share those positions, would love
to have you on. And if you already got a
job and you ain't looking for no job, this is
the part of the show where you get to learn
(26:56):
about some ship that other people do, all right, because
there's a lot of very interesting interesting work. This one
today a little dicey. Look dicey, but we don't see
if we can learn something and keep the humor afloat,
but more importantly, learned about what this woman does on
a day to day basis up there in Chicago. J G.
(27:19):
Who do we have on? Who? Who is? Who is
this first person that we have on and what are
they all about? Who? Who are introduced this person? Absolutely?
We have Hima. She is in Chicago. She does legal
work and she's the pro program director at a family
rescue group. She does good stuff. Okay, well I don't
(27:40):
have no jokes about that at all, because that sounds good,
wholesome work that does made of Hima? Did I pronounced
that right? Hima? Welcome to the job fair, thank you
so much for coming on. Um, First and foremost, UM,
how are you all handling COVID in Chicago. Let's just
(28:04):
it's been tough. UM, I mean, just my job itself.
We don't We've been working throughout the pandemic, UM family rescues,
it domestic violence agencies. So we have a shelter and
residential programs and I do the legal program and so UM,
we've just basically been in uh doing service. So, UM,
(28:24):
that's been tough for us. There's a lot there continue
to be a lot of domestic violence calls throughout this time. UM,
sorry that this is such a serious this is it's worked.
You're doing the real work. We don't have to It
doesn't have to be funny. If you can make it
funny we'll appreciate it. But but I appreciate is the
(28:45):
shows that you produce and those you do because that
has been what has gotten us all through the pandemic.
So thank you for entertaining us and making us laugh
this whole time, because um, I watched the Daily Show
every day. UM, I love Insecure, so like these are
so thank you so much for the entertainment because I
(29:07):
don't think we could have gone through any of this
without it. So um, but understood what you all do.
It's crazy to think of this as an industry where
there would be growth and opportunities for employment. But we
look at the numbers during quarantine. Child abuses up, domestic
abuses up, divorces up, ironically, Langston pregnancy down down. Everybody
(29:33):
everybody thought. Everybody thought that, oh you locked up, you're
gonna be yeabody. It's gonna be a bunch of quarantine baby.
It's musing our baby. Let's go crazy. Now, everyone stick
of each other. They don't want to touch each other
during this Exactly you got almost made a bridget in reference.
But you know, I like because there's women on this,
(29:54):
it's women in this situation. Everybody's pulling a Bridgetin. That's
all I'm gonna say. I got you haven't seen the show.
I'm not going to explain it because of a respectful
person who was raised at a Christian house. So Hi'm
gonna talk to me a little bit about when we
talk about domestic violence counseling and what is the training, like,
(30:14):
what what is the barrier for entry if someone's interested
in doing this, Because I imagine that your company isn't
that different from like minded organizations sprinkled all across the country.
What do I need to already know before entering that?
Because that's a very delicate issue and you're dealing like
you're low key, it's social work ish. You don't need
(30:35):
to have a degree in that. Um, I mean, we
have preferences for educational background, but honestly, we just need
people who care about doing the work and are committed
to doing the work. Because, um, when you get hired,
you have you go through a training. So everybody who
does domestic violent work in Illinois has to go through
(30:55):
a fourty hour training, but we provided they don't have
to have it beforehand. So we just get people who
are really interested in doing service. So if you have
that interest, We have plenty of positions at this time
because it is hard to do this work during the pandemic.
A lot of people don't want to be out in
the field serving people, and so that is it's been
a little bit hard to get people always to commit
(31:17):
to this kind of work right now. It's a serendipitous
that I saw your tweet about this, because we had
just about to hire somebody and then they backed out
right at that last minute. And so it's really tough
sometimes to get people. I have a great staff. They've
been really committed, um all of them through the pandemic.
They've been working really hard. So I'm really proud of them,
(31:37):
and I think I'm a good boss. So I would
really love to hire people to do the job. So, um,
are they Let me ask you about the job a
little bit. Are are you going into people's homes? Are
you in what? What is the field look like? I
guess it's the question. So my program is the legal
Advocacy Program, and we're located in the domestic violence a
(32:00):
house in Cook County in Chicago, which is open still.
I have two offices that are actually located into police
stations which are also open during the pandemic, and so
we're there because there's really no other We're not the police.
But if you want somebody who can address your trauma
in a way that the police may not know how
to do, um, that's what we're there to do. There's
(32:22):
a lot of retraining they need, we work with them,
but we are there. The first things we usually say
is we're not the police. So do you need us
to do something? How can we help you do something?
And how can we help you if you don't want
to go through the criminal justice route. We can help
you with a lot of things, like can help you
find shelter, We can try to help you find a
(32:44):
new place to live. We can help you find a
lot of things. And so I have to say that
we're not the police. Is a great way to start
the conversation. I was engaged right away as soon as
you said we're not the police. I'm listening. I got
my listening breaker at the police station. That's a really
(33:05):
important thing to tell you. So one question and then
we'll get to how people can be a part of
your organization if they choose to. At the Daily Show,
I have the luxury as a correspondent at the Daily
show of checking out periodically when there's too much bad news.
So the way the Daily Show works creatively, right, you
(33:26):
have a piece that's about to air, you have a
segment that you're currently shooting, and you're prepping a segment
that you're about to go shoot, and so at any
point you have three segments in different parts of the
assembly line. Right. If that's not happening, then my job
as a correspondent is to occupy myself with all of
(33:46):
the horrible ship in this world and figure out which
one I can make funny and go out with a
camera and shine light on that issue. And there are
weeks where you're just consuming all of the worst stuff
every single day into your brain and you got nothing.
And then I literally have to push back and take
(34:07):
a break, And I have the luxury of that of
being able to take a break from consuming negativity. How
in the hell do you and your staff deal when
eight hours a day, I'm assuming you're probably working a
little bit off the clock too. If you actually give
a damn, when do you defrag? What do you do?
(34:30):
How do you how do you manage that constant influx
of just you're making a difference and you're continuing to fight.
But what what is the trick? Is it? I'll be honest,
is it we is it yoga? I will assume that
for some people it is any of those things. But
(34:51):
when it wasn't the pandemic, it was spending time with
my friends or my family and going out. That is
what I really miss And then um, during the pen endemic,
it really has been a lot of TV. I'm not
gonna get it's just been a lot of TV anytime
I get too wrapped up in the work or in
the news. Um, even though you guys give us the news,
(35:13):
the Daily Show is a funny way to learn it.
So I really enjoy learning my information that way. But
just generally watching TV, watching movies, watching things that entertain
me that have nothing to do with the real world
is also helpful. So yeah, it's been a lot of TV. Otherwise,
I have great family and have great friends, and I've
(35:33):
been doing domestic violence work for over fifteen years, so
I think you get used to doing the job if
you can focus on the positives, and you can focus
on the fact that you're helping people and you're actually
learn and hear from people that you're helping, Can you
take those positives and that's kind of what you stick
with and you don't focus on all of the negatives
(35:54):
kind of happening. Well, where can people apply for these
positions up there in Chicago? Fewer in Chicago or want
to move here? It's freezing, Um, you just go at
the right time of the year to do it. But
but maybe where are you going? You're sitting inside anyway,
you can't it doesn't matter. There's snow everywhere around me.
(36:14):
I can't go outside. Um, but you could go on
to Family Rescue Inc. Dot org. It's Family Rescue Inc.
Dot org And that's just the website and you can
find information there. There's the different employment opportunities are listed
right on the website. So Family Rescue Inc. Dot Org. Well,
(36:35):
I mean, thank you so much for the work that
you do. And I mean this from the bottom of
my heart. It is meaningful and it matters. And if
you just change one life damage, you've ben't done enough.
Thank you so much, Matt. I like you so much.
I'm a root for the bears. Yeah, I mean they're
not playing for like another. You don't have to root
(36:56):
for that. I can't for the bulls. There's too much
going on with the bull that. Man, I'm from Chicago.
You can root for the Bulls all you want. You
ain't gonna fix what's happening, so root for the Bears.
It's just always disappointing, but it's something. It's something from
a Chicago resident. Love it. But thank you so much
(37:18):
for calling into the job. Fan, have a good one.
Thank you you guys too. She was nice, man, Yeah,
she was a sweetheart. She's doing a good work. She
was nice. She was nice. Man. That that is. That
that is and Cody and now we can say what
we actually want to say Lankster because she I was
(37:39):
being respectful, you know, because I didn't know that lady.
But I can say this around j G because we
know j G. Basically, what I was trying to say earlier,
Lankster is that quarantine got everybody stressed out. That just
pull out game. That's why I ain't know. That's why
fregnancies are down. And then the show Bridget and if
you never watched the show, it's for the people that
(38:00):
seen it just ain't what the whole show is about.
But there's a basically, it's a dude he don't want
his girl to know he ain't trying to get his
girl pregnant and she ain't never had sex before, so
she think the pullout game is how men finish. She
thinks every dude is just yelling at his sheets after
(38:20):
they finishes. That's not how that works. Well, uh, Lankston brother,
thank you so much for coming on and kicking it
with me. How to kept you much longer than I
was supposed to. But when Hollywood comes on the show,
we have to roll out the red carpet. After the break.
The Homie Ride for Short has got some stories, yo yo,
(38:43):
j G. We got to talk about these damn devil sneakers,
that little noze and also the scam of the week.
I had an article on some good scams you can ruyn,
but I think this video game dude that's calling in,
we'll we'll do a call scam this week. I saved
that for next week. Job Fair We'll be back. Roy's
(39:07):
job Fair, We are back. That was real nice of
Langston currently man. That was real nice of the brother
to hang out with us, you know, and walk us
through that world of domestic violence. And it's crazy, you know,
j G. When we think about how much that is
a byproduct of what has happened in the last year
(39:28):
and how many people are in need, and how many people,
how many women just don't have a place to go,
and God bless these women for being brave enough to
find a place to go. And how crazy is it
that you're the place providing this safe haven and you
just ain't got enough people on the clock. Sure, so
it's it's extremely meaningful work. So, you know, hats off
(39:51):
to her and everything that she's doing. And as best
we can, we'll transition out of that. Give me my
music first, we gotta set the move. Ah, there we go. Yes, Lord,
it's time like we always do at Roy's John Fair
(40:11):
to break the ice to help us do that is
None of his phone was out last week, but he's
back with some good ass WiFi for your ass this week.
The home in the roto a k A Rod for short. Rod.
How you doing this week? Brother a lot man? What's
(40:32):
going down? Yeah? Very excited to have the power back
popping man. It was it was a struggle. Yeah, man.
Rod is here as always to give white people something
that chatted up with their black co workers about at
the job, and to give black people something to chat
with their white co work is about something to break
the ice. That's what we call this segment, Breaking the ice,
real quick, Breaking the ice. Brought to you this particular
(40:55):
week by Sackleson State Community College. Jacquelin sack Wilson State
Community College is now Did you know this? There's a
little fact. I don't know if you knew this or not, Jacqueline,
did you know that people with good looking classmates more
likely to pass their classes? Sakilson State Community College Spring
(41:16):
enrollment is now open. Submit a photograph of yourself and
see if you're cute enough to attend the land's best
community college with no one in their student body under
an eight. You're guaranteed a work environment at Sakilson State
that's free from the destructions of ugly people, giving you
more time to focus on your education. Financial assistance to
all who qualified, including dental. You could like you could
(41:38):
be a seven, Like you might be an eight, but
you got that one jankie tooth, which makes you a seven.
So Sackleson won't take you button this spring. They'll help
you fix that jankie tooth. All dimes, all the time,
Sacholson State Community College. You can get a four point Oh,
but not if you're a four rod, I pass it
over to you. Give the people something to break the ice,
brother man? Right now? Uh for white people to talk
(42:03):
to the black co workers about man that the hottest
thing going in the black community right now is Little
nas x and and the fallout from his his video
for Montero a k a. Called Me by your Name
and his shoe dropped with the folks that mischief. It's
causing an old school eighties satanic panic. And as a
child of the eighties, I'm kind of kind of excited
(42:25):
to see this back in the on my TV. Okay,
so now they're accusing him to be in a devil worshiper.
Why what what happens? And if they walked me through
this because you gotta break this down, you know, we
gotta break this down for us. They gotta break the
ice to break black co workers. In two three sentences
of less here right right. So basically in the video,
Little nos Nicks takes a striple pole down the hell,
(42:48):
give Satan a lap dance and then breaks his neck.
He kills Satan, and for some reason that's got the
evangelicals all up in the test. I thought that the
religious people would like something like that, but you know,
apparently they apparently they don't. They only want straight people.
You'll satan. Okay, what Okay, this has HR violation written
(43:15):
all over it if you bring it up at work.
But okay, so then how does this connect to sneakers?
So to go along with the sneakers, little Isaacs hooked
up with the folks that mischief And now like a
they're kind of like supreme, like they make weird, weird
items that are kind of memorable. And so they dropped
the air mix ninety seven that has uh red ink
(43:39):
and one drop of human blood in the air bubbles
and yeah, it's gotta drop a human blood in the
air bubbles and a penogram on the shoe and it
stitched up representing for Luke ten eight team, and I
saw Satan falling from heaven like lightning, and uh, they're
(43:59):
making six hundred, said to six payers, go ahead and
get your early or wait, wait, whose blood is it?
Whose job is it to give you the drop of
blood that goes in these shoes? And how much does
that person make? Well they have they have a ten
person staff, so everybody on the staff donating blood and
they and they put a drop of I don't know
(44:20):
if they anybody's blood goes to the particular number of shoes,
but everybody that donated blood to get into the shoe heels.
I don't understand this. What's going on with your hair?
All right? What do you mean? What's going on with it?
It looks like you're cutting No, it's just it's just
opponent tail. There is blood and human shoes. Okay, what
(44:41):
up trying to talk hair tear? Motherfucker's just buying blood shoes,
blood shoes. Are you gonna com prepare? No, I'm not
wearing no devil nikes. Okay, but I get what you're saying.
All right, this is the type of story that you
could just go. Man, that's crazy. That guy with the
(45:04):
with the shoes, with those satanic shoes. I don't yeah, right, Um,
I don't know if you should bring this up. I
might have to detail you on this one ride. I
don't know if white people should be bringing this up
because this one has too many layers too. It's too many.
There's too many potholes in your story. If you will also,
(45:30):
that's good. We have little nos X pole dancing for
Satan so well. We have we have you know, sexuality, gender,
l g B t Q plus issues right there. Plus
on top of that he's black. Bro. That that's that's
(45:52):
a human resources big mac right there. That's too many layers.
I mean, if you feel calm we're bringing that up
around your co workers, then fine. I know, Nike ensuing
this company for augmenting their pre existing shoe because Nike
didn't sign off on none of this. No, Nike is
not officially partners. Maybe they should just bring up the lawsuits.
Well now, but what's funny about that is Nike is
(46:14):
suing them for this, But it's just Nike trying to
get in on the publicity because these people, well I
think it was two thousand nineteen they dropped the Jesus
version of those same air makes not he said it's Nike,
didn't say it work. And those they put holy water
directly sourced from the river Jordan's into the souls and
(46:36):
Jesus like to put a crucifix on it, and Nike
didn't have a care in the world. Sound like this
company needs to make shoes for the Catholic Church, all right,
give give, give the black people something to talk to
the white co workers about what can what what topic?
Can they break the ice with the white co workers
on UH This week, as as usual, we're going with dogs,
(47:01):
and we've got a dog back in the news. That's right.
It's a repeat, just like last time when we had
the Buckingham Palace coming back back to back. This time
Joe bites German Scheffer Major. That's right, Mark lives matter,
he lives batter stand down, stand true. Major is out
(47:23):
of jail and he's back in the White House and
he has already been somebody else. That's right. They tried
to institutionalize him. He wouldn't have it. You can change
his body, but you can't change his soul. And they
brought him out of that that helld they caged him
(47:44):
in and he's been a National Park Service employee because
he's still down. I don't bail first out of de
California dream. How many times? How many times can your
dog bite somebody before you just have to go? All right, man,
you gotta go back to Peco. Now, we just gotta
put you. I honestly think it's too because it's hard
(48:09):
to get away with one, even as a president, as
a regular person. If your dog browsing somebody that too loud.
They'll take your dog and put it down. Now you can't.
You can't put down Major. But he's been people two times. Man, No,
nobody's got that much pool. You gotta they gotta send
them back to Delaware permanently. Yeah, you have to go. Man,
(48:30):
let's start on that dog two times. Gotta what you
gonna do? What did you bite some ambassador or some
foreign politicians in the White House. It's gonna be a
hell of a scap. You bring some motherfucker over the
side in the peace treaty, he get like mother like
(48:56):
a civil rights video and they got them red room.
Oh Major, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's that's a good one. Man.
I forgot to ask you what you're sipping on. Um.
I know it's a little bit recording a little earlier
than normal, so I don't know if we caught you
doing whiskey old clock and not. Oh no, I'm not.
(49:19):
I'm not sipping on anything right now. I got gotta
got a dose of the old vaccine and you're right now,
so you living cleek? Did he text your right and
tell you everybody got the vaccine? They said to me,
I'm talking about I'm supposed to do that. I was
(49:42):
waiting to see. I thought we was gonna all decide
as a group whether not we was gonna all get
the vaccine. Right. Do you think I'm in the wrong
if I want to try and get all three vaccines?
I don't mean I think it can't be too safe.
(50:04):
It's not a crime. No one said don't do it.
No one's thought to do it. Sir, You're obviously light
years ahead. You can't. All great inventions come from somebody
not thinking to do somebody never thought to put peanut
butter and chocolate together. Now Reese's is a billion dollar
copy to tell all that ship chet. Nope. If you
(50:31):
get three vaccines and they all ninety percent effective, I
think that guarantees you a hundred percent. That's two seventy
percent effectiveness. That's not how math works. I mean, you
can can't. You can't beat that effectiveness. That how you
can't afford to not get all three vaccines. So you're
(50:54):
gonna take off three vaccines? Rot if I can, I
can't go a twin brother, get another? Yes, I am
for short. Podcast is Uncle Rod Story Corner. Get it
wherever you download podcast, Rod hit him up pause on
(51:15):
the internet at Rod the number four short ride for
short Rod. I will leave you to your clean living
um at least, I guess for the next week or
so till you get that second shot and amen to
that or that? All right? Right? Well, hih, let you boy.
(51:43):
He's great. He's great, he's great. All right, scam it
a week? That was? That was? That is a fair question, though, Jacqueline, Seriously,
how many times can your dog bites someone before you
just said to go? All right, you just gotta let
(52:07):
you go. But you know, Joe wild, So what you
expect from the dog? Yeah? I kind of liked that
the dog is wild? Like, is this the first president
with just a wild ass animal? Why not just get
a wolf? Like? Why does it have to be a dog?
Why not just have like a boa constricted Like, that's
what I really want out of a president. Just exotic animals,
(52:30):
just some tiger king gays, mytherfucker with just wild creatures
living on the lawn. Well, you know what they say
about d C. If you want a friend, get a dog.
Apparently not that dog, Joe Biden. He didn't bite, So
Joe Biden got one of them dogs. You gotta ask
where is that before you come in the house. Yeah, yeah,
(52:51):
you ever go with my house? Come on king? Oh
he ran back and good can come running around the corner,
all right, scammer a week. Uh, this is where we
invite people on the short. Sometimes I find a good
hustle in the news, I share it with you, and
(53:11):
sometimes people call in and go, hey, this is some
ship we used to steal at the job. But I've
seen stolen at the job and uh, someone's been nice
enough to call in with that today, and I do
appreciate that because this is the people's podcasts. Respect to
Tyler quality. I don't want you to think I'm starting
to name your podcast, but were for the people. Um
(53:35):
J G. Who's on the line. We have Peter who's
in p A and he once worked at a video
store and there's something they did with the one time
deposit of ten dollars that you just have to hear about. Okay,
So Peter, first off, welcome aboard the job fair. The
people can't see it at home, but I can see it.
(53:57):
Loving the Cubs hat, thank you very much. I'm wearing
the Pirates at today, but it's the Pirates allt with
the red bill and I like it. It's the only
other baseball hat I wear every nine and then I
rocked the Purple Diamondbacks throwback every Night from the Cubs
on your bookshelf there, oh man, So tell us a
(54:20):
little bit about the video store days, because I always
thought in video stores, I thought the only scam was
just like I used to get mad as fuck on
new release Tuesdays and I would show up at ten am, right,
because that's when the new movies would drop, and it
would be on the shelf, and you could go at
ten am and they would go, oh, yeah, we don't
have any copies. I go, you got them. You're just
(54:41):
holding them. They're in the back for your fucking friends.
And but I can't prove it, so I just have
to huff and puff around the store. And that was
absolutely true. They had them, they just weren't giving them up.
The store I worked at was Hollywood Video, all right,
pe Hollywood Video, but one of the greats, one of
(55:03):
the greats, and they had a weird kind of deposit
where you would have to pay ten dollars to rent
a video game. Mhm. But most people didn't know is
that the ten dollars was immediately reimbursable once you brought
back the video game. They thought it just had to
stay there. So they thought it was just a ten
dollars wait ten dollars per video game, per rental, or
(55:26):
just one time, never hollow back. Yep, the first time
you rent the game ten dollars, and then once you
bring it back, you can get that back after the
first game. And they did not know that, and so
they would never get back their ten dollar deposit, and
they wouldn't everything to ask yep. So they would just
(55:47):
return the game and they would have just imagined that
it's supposed to stay there. And then the clerk would
go in and they would see when they returned the game,
a little thing would pop up and say do they
want their ten dollars back? And you just hit a
little key and say yes and that Sam, do you
(56:09):
follow it? J G. This is very much like some
three card Monty type ship. That's that's I like this scam.
And I like it because if you didn't keep the
ten the corporation was going to keep the tin. Yes, sir,
now granted you should have volunteered the money back to
(56:31):
the customer. Absolutely what because first off, that's a stupid question.
Who the funk don't want they ten dollars back? The
system should have been set up to just automatically split
the ten right back out on the spot if we
really want to be serious about this ship. So Hollywood
(56:53):
Video knew what they was doing. You know what this
is like? This is like when these places make you
do those fuck ass bates during the holidays where buy
three thousand batteries. Brother, fuck up and mail me the
receipt and three corners of the packaging and I will
send you back to hundred thousand dollars. All you have
(57:16):
to do is complete your arts and crafts assignment and
then we will fucking send you and you and you
buy the batteries full price, and then you go home
and you never do your arts and crafts and then
they just never have to give you the money, which
is why you send off rebates. It still takes eight
months for them to send you the check because they
can't believe that you actually fucking did the ship. So
(57:40):
over the course, just just walk me through a shift, Peter, Yes,
how much money are you pulling down on the ten
dollars scam? Is it just was a register. Are we
splitting tips with the whole house? So I learned it
from our assistant manager who was probably late alreadies. And uh,
(58:02):
the manager was in his twenties, so I'm sure he
was very upset about that. What kind of Hollywood video
was this one? In Illinois? And he would take his
lunch breaks at the lone Star steakhouse and drink about
a picture for his lunch period. He was not a
(58:22):
the best assistant manager that so yeah, he was taking
his penance. Yes, So he he showed me how to
do this, and mostly you would get people who would
be very on top of it, and they would bring
in the game to you and say I want my
(58:43):
ten dollars and then you can get the button you
give them their ten dollars back. But most people would
just return it into the return slot and wouldn't even
hang around. Oh so when you're going through return and
all the returns, all the games, you line up and
it would pop up if they had gotten there were
deposit back. So you put it in the machine that
(59:04):
they got their deposit back, and you got to line
your pocket with ten dollars. But Roy asked a good question,
so was it split between the house or how did
that work out? There was no real system in order. Um,
it was if you were there in the game, had
the deposits tale, it was yours. It's just your lucky night. Yep. Well,
(59:30):
God bless your brother. Thank you for calling me in
with that scam. Peter, what do you do now? Um
you're lawyer, aren't you. No? I am a bureaucrat. I
knew it's nice, nice, nice, nice, Well, Peter, thank you
(59:51):
so much for calling in, and thank you for admitting
to contributing to the downfall of one of our most
colored industries in this country. Um. I'm not gonna put
it solely at your feet. Um, I think maybe the
Netflix a small park. Seriously, doctor, the ten dollar deposit
(01:00:11):
hustle was gonna break them anyway. They were already broken.
Your manager got drunk on the clock. Thank you so
much for calling to the job for every brother. All right, yes, sir,
go Cubs re sign rizzo. Motherfucker's I'll save that for
a baseball podcast. All right, Thanks Peter, Thank you, all right,
(01:00:34):
So that's the show. Thank you to everybody who called
in today. Thank you as always to Sackleson State Community College.
All times, all the time. The only community college for
good looking people. The Homie Langston coming. Check out this
podcast my mama told me available wherever you download all
the ship and uh, thank you as always to you,
(01:00:57):
j G. Always here are the red blood cells that
oxygenate this acoustical radio program. And I thought you would
not be possible. Uh. If you have an extra vaccine appointment,
please email it to me Roy's job there at gmail
(01:01:17):
dot com because I'm gonna get that second in that
third vaccine. I'm getting all the vaccines and y'all can't stop.
We are not closing on that. We're gonna close on
congratulating you again on the untitled single camera comedy that
you are preparing to produce. Congratulations roy Wood Jr. If
(01:01:40):
we could see d blush, I know you are because
you don't like it when people talk about you. But
I'm gonna congratulate you anyway. Congratulations Royood Jr. Thank you
very much, j G. As a woman who has known
my opinions and struggles and trying to get stuck on television,
I will just sendody stop there and we will see.
Thank you. Can I appreciate it absolutely. That doesn't get
(01:02:02):
you off the hook for getting vaccinated without You're not
getting the third vaccine. You gotta get the first one first. Okay,
we'll talk about this next week. This has been a
Comedy Central podcast
You're listening to Comedy Central now hiring. Who's hiring that there, Jacqueline. Uh,
wait a minute, Roy, there's something else. There's a great
story right here about Wait a minute, is this your
National Guard article that I'm reading. Fox is developing an
(00:21):
untitled single camera comedy ridden and starring The Daily Show
correspondent Roy Wood Jr. He will executive produce the project,
Fellowship not Hiring. Wood Jr. Will executive produce the project
with fellow actor comedian Dennis Leary. As via the song
(00:51):
that's doesn't mean I'm hiring. That is just a thing
that happened, and it's still a chance to get a chance.
How dare you share public information on this acoustical radio
program which is also very public which you could also google,
like you said, And in the show, working in service
(01:12):
to a bunch of thankless Americans, members of often National
Guard use their time on domestic deployment. Start to show,
Start to show, over, start the music the show. I
started the music over you. Does that count? That's kind
of black woman off? I hope not. No, I'm Roy,
(01:43):
this is my job. Fair Welcome, Welcome aboard. We're gonna
have a little bit of fun. Today cracking jobs in
the world of employment and helping connect people with jobs.
No theme this week, I don't think j g um,
nothing that I could find unless you think about where
the people are from. Well, I know we have a
(02:05):
woman from Chicago calling in. I know we have another
brother calling there for worst than first from Chicago. But um,
we're gonna explore the world. How can I put this? Um, Well,
there's no easy way to put it. We're gonna explore
the world of domestic violence and how COVID has affected
the needs for staffing in that world when people are
(02:28):
doing outreach to help people in need. So we're gonna
speak with a woman who's got that going on. Scam
of the week, Uh comes to us from I think,
is it a video star? Where is this guy work
that you get wrecked up? It was this video store
a while back. And it's an interesting thing that they
did with your deposits. Oh ship, they kept them. Probably
(02:49):
if it's a scam, just give it away. Well we'll
we'll we'll get to that as well. Naomi Narado Rod
for sure, we'll give you some tips on how to
break the ice. Coworkers of a different race. But I
want to start off. I want to start off. I
want to I want to talk about this vaccine stuff
for a second. We were talking about it last week
and New York finally opened it up to thirty and over,
(03:13):
which you mean to me, you know, And there's a
lot more states that are opening it up and all
sidebar j G user feedback. Thank you to people who
have emailed us uh Royce chop Fair at gmail dot
com also hitting us up on the socials at Royce
job Fair. They said that I can take all three
vaccines and not worry about any real adverse reactions. You're
(03:39):
listening to people on the internet. I'm just asking just
clarify this for me, that you're listening to people on
the internet the medical views and opinions of roy Wood Jr.
And not those off I Heart Media via Time CPS,
So the roy Wood Junior m Royce job Fire podcast
or j G we please advise you to not take
(04:00):
multiple vaccines. I'm still gonna do it. What's because here's
the thing. When you go get the vaccine for all
the COVID questions that they ask you. Now, like you've
done the COVID questionnaire, have you in fourteen days been
to the country that has all the ship, and have
you traveled, has has a motherfucker coughed on you in
(04:23):
a in a Boston market? If so, you cannot do
the head of that. The one question they don't ask
you is if you already got the vaccine, because there's
a list, and also every last one of those little
vials they have your name already associated with the number
(04:45):
that's on it. The federal government has to know who's
taking the vaccine. Ask me why, Ask me why? I know?
Why do you know? J G? I ticket WHOA I
got it? I know? I know you talked all that
(05:09):
ship last week. Hmm, all that stuff. What you say
last week? Well, you know, I'm not sure if I'm
going to take it because I have an aunt and
we have similar DNA strands, so I will be monitoring
her vitals over the next that you just went and
took the ship. I did it. They called my number.
(05:30):
I was up and I said, okay, let's do it.
What nothing, I'm just but I didn't take three of them.
I didn't take three different ones. I just feel like
that's something that you would that My therapist is telling
me that it's not that I shouldn't project my expectations
(05:52):
of a relationship when a person when I haven't expressed
my needs to that person. And that's what I almost
did with you just now. I just thought that we
were in the type of friendship where you would have
where you would have just said that to me before
you did it, Like I shouldn't be finding out on
the show that you wouldn't got the vaccine before me,
(06:13):
because I was like all skeptical and you was all skeptical.
So I was like, well, find she ain't gonna do it.
I ain't gonna do They just found out you didn't
did the ship. I did it. So when they call
your number, just go and you can only take one.
We're not we want to travel again. Okay, Okay, I
am traveling, So we want to get out there again.
(06:33):
We want you on stage again. Yeah. I don't have
a choice because the other part of that article that
you didn't read was them talking about Comedy Central and
gave me a third hour special, so I can't develop
them jokes on the computer. I didn't know that part.
I just read the top part that is outstanding. Congratulations.
Well we'll see, we'll see. We can show what the jokes.
(06:57):
I'm gonna tell you yet, we'll see, that's what I meant.
Or a year, what you mean, what are you going
to You'll see you try? What have you even doing
it for a year? Not doing stand up comedy? So
that means you're writing correct, yes, but you have to
tune it up. You don't just walk out with perfect
(07:18):
jokes straight from your damn notebook. I hope not. We'll see.
I am excited. I can't say where I'm going to
shoot it yet, but we do have a city that
I am excited about. And you know, I don't get
excited about a lot of ship, but I really truly
am excited about that opportunity. So that's gonna be cool. Congratulations.
(07:40):
I think I'm more excited. I'm concerned cause you ain't
gonna write the jokes. That's why you're excited. You ain't
got to go out on stage or potentially suck for
an hour. Not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen. No
one believes that Twitter, nigga fuck you and your podcast
oh trash. I don't even believe any of that, so
(08:03):
I'm not gonna listen to you. So congratulations again. Well,
thank you, Thank you, You're welcome. Okay, so you got
you got the vaccine. I guess I gotta get it
now so we can compare notes. Yes. My only concern though,
is that the vaccine I got, I'm told is delivered
(08:24):
to mostly minority communities, and I'm like, who's tracking that? Yeah? Yeah,
And my brother said that too, because he's in the military.
He wondered why I want to take all three because
I want to bury my basi is covered. You're not okay,
you're just admitted to taking the pope's chicken vaccine. I
(08:48):
want that good grocery store chicken vaccine. I want the public's.
I want some pot quality with that top shelf. I
want the shot factors. YEA cheesecake factory menu is like
a damn dictionary. They should be embarrassed. It's wrong. I'm
sure they're gonna cut all this, But you go in there,
You're like, oh no, but it's good. It's it's just
(09:12):
you better know what the funk you want for you
get the cheesecake factory. That's why I'd be a two
hour weight on the table. Nick is just flipping through menus. Now,
that's true. Now I do look before I get there
and figure out what I want, because that's just ridiculous.
You need to study cheesecake factory a week in advance,
like airplane seat and charts. We need to get someone
who works there on your show to tell us the
(09:33):
secrets and the tips so we can get this done better.
I want to know what cheesecake factory keep hiring people
and making them wear white sneakers, knowing them things gonna
be dusty brown in two weeks. Why are you looking
at their shoes because anybody with dirty shops, especially dirty
white shoes, I don't be trusting. And they make them
wear white net, dirty gas. And that was voting Corral.
(09:54):
I had black shoes. You couldn't tell. That's that's right, Okay,
I'm with you had them shoes for two years? She
rain water seeping out the side, drifting. What was this
article you found before? We're getting to worse than first. Oh,
it's about your best and words holiday gifts from the office,
so you know when they give you that dollar amount
(10:15):
that you're supposed to buy gifts. So what's your best
and what's your worst? You've ever? Oh? This is the
advice I see. You'll text me about this ship. But
you won't text me about you getting the vaccine. I
didn't think about it. You didn't text me that you
were getting this show that you're hiring for. But go
hey mm to shame. Okay again, we're not hiring. We
(10:41):
are in development and we're writing a script and if
they like the script, then I will have jobs to feel.
That's excellent. I want to know something about something. Okay,
I see what you're talking about. Okay, yeah, Oh, the
the the advice that you email me. Okay, this advice column,
(11:04):
job things. Read the question because I just I want
people to understand the context of this, because Jacqueline and
I got into a little bit of an argument about this.
It's basically, how do you address an offensive gift at
an office holiday party? So what do you tell people
they give you something that's offensive, like some secrets, but
(11:27):
its secret Santa, so you ain't supposed to know, Like
what's offensive? Are we talking like a sexual gift of that?
It could be maybe a pen doll that's black and
you're putting pens in it. Just crazy stuff, a white elephant.
I don't know. Have you ever received a terrible gifts? Oh?
(11:51):
I've received numerous terrible gifts in my life. Don't say
exactly what it is, because you might hurt someone's feelings
so that they know they did you tell them. I
didn't tell him, but I talked about it on another
podcast and it got back to her, and you know
it's fine anymore. I so all right. So they before
(12:15):
we do worst and first jobs, let's do worse and worse.
What's the worst gift you've ever received. I'll go first.
I'll tell you the worst gift I've ever received and
the worst gift I've ever given someone. Now, these weren't
necessarily Secret Santa Sabar. I've gotten some good ass gifts
(12:35):
at work on the Secret Santa tip I got. I
got an iPod the first year the iPod touch, so
that's like iPhone two, iPhone three era. That was a
good ass gift. And I remember bringing some bullshit to
the office Secret Santa, and I left that iPod. I
(12:55):
was like, yes, they knew it, they knew it was you. Also,
I think they felt bad because I was only getting
twenty seven hours no dental and I had to root
canals that year. I deserved that one. Um the worst
gift I've ever given someone the worst gift I've ever
been given. That's what you asked me, right, The worst
(13:19):
gift I've ever been given was for my birthday a
woman that I was dating at the time, the Hunger
Games trilogy Heartback. Why is that a bad gift? Because
I don't funk with the Hunger Games. It's not that
I hate books, but it was one of those gifts
(13:41):
where I felt like you you really don't know anything
about me. Like this was when The Hunger Games first premiered,
and you know, you know, when the movie come out
based on the book, they moved the books to the
front of the walmart and ship and I guess she
saw the books and was like, oh, I just could
It's got fire on the cover and some bow and
(14:04):
arrow woman. He might like this. It's like, I wouldn't
pick a movie for you if I if you know
the genre of stuff that I like, right, Yeah, that
I don't know that that one kind of It was
one of those when you look back on ultimately that's
breaking up. I look back on that gift, I don't go, oh,
that was the first sign mm hmm, you know that
(14:27):
we wasn't gonna work out, was you know, this gift
wasn't you know? And I'm not even a gift person.
I would rather just not gotten a gift. Mm hmm
copy that. Um best gift? No, No, we're doing worse
and worse. Oh, worst and worst. Worst gift I ever
got was hunger game books. Worst gift I ever gave
(14:50):
someone Billy Blanks Tibo DVD, entire Boxer. But he was
good to a woman I was dating at the time. Yeah,
that was wrong. You just told her she was fat.
Did she throw them at you? Yep? She she didn't
(15:10):
throw them, but there was a there was a brief
period of digestion of the of her emotions in the moment.
Here's why I'm not wrong. No, you were. No, you
can't defend this. You told her she was fat. Here's
why I was not wrong. The entire year leading up
(15:34):
to Christmas, every time that Billy blank shitt came on TV,
all she said was man, I keep meaning the order
that she kept saying it. I'm a man who listens
to his woman. You gotta know when to listen. It
was not to hear. It's a It's also important Editor's note.
(15:57):
I was twenty five years old. I don't know twenty
four somewhere in there. But but that's what they say.
Listen to the woman. Woman, Dave won't. Woman, you can't
listen to us, but you need to listen to us.
What they don't fucking mention Billy Blanks every time the
(16:19):
Nickel come on TV. Then every time Billy Blanks came
on TV, she will go all set, man, I need
to get the time. I'm get one of them, DV.
I got you all of them. But you were supposed
to tell her that you're going to work out with
her if you got them, but you literally just told
her I agree with you. You are fans And it's
(16:40):
not pH a t. That ship was one hundred and
eighty something dollars. If you're interested in how much it costs,
it doesn't matter dollars at a time where nights and
weekends didn't start to the nine pm, and I didn't
have dental and I had to re commence, what is
it with you this? And she she didn't throw him
(17:03):
at me, but she it was clear that I this
is not going to be a good week for me.
And what did you get her? I mean, what did
she get you? I don't know, something meaningful and thoughtful,
probably a charger from my iPod touch that chas a
(17:23):
nice case of something that's wrong. She won't let me
live it down either. Every nine and then we crossed
paths on social media. Yes, like some Billy Blank Ship
will come up. She'll tag me in the comments just
to be an asshole. I wonder what's his pivot. I
(17:44):
wonder what is he doing now? Ship? He pivot into
spending all that money he made. He was in a
Geico commercial that's good for it was. Yeah, somebody told
me a hilarious story about Billy Blanks that I know
isn't true. I talked about it more in depth on
Langston Kerman's podcasts um My Mama told me, if you
want to hear it in detail, go over there. But basically,
(18:07):
Billy Blanks was up for the role of Passenger fifty seven.
He was up for the lead role in Passenger fifty seven,
and Wesley Snipes called him and told him the wrong
place for the audition, So Billy Blanks never showed up
and Westley Snipes got the part. It's so not true,
(18:27):
like it can't be true, But there's a piece of
me that keeps holding onto that story. Just hoping that
it is because it's so fucking funny. That's that's wrong,
that's the ultimate and pity. That's what should I would do?
You would not such a no no. You say these things,
but people don't know. You are super nice, dirty game,
(18:48):
dirty world, j G. Whatever, you're super nice. You can
tell people what you want, but you are super nice.
All right, we gotta get into this verse of person
a second, Give me yours? What are your wors and
what's the worst to gif you've ever given to? You?
Probably don't give bad gifts, I can tell. Actually, just
give people things that are not open around my house.
I'm so serious. If it's not game, I don't hate
(19:13):
that game. Yeah, but like what like glass ware? Like
give me an example, some ship that's just in your house,
something that someone's probably given me. What like bath and
body works, lotions or gift baskets. I get a lot
of gift baskets. It's weird. I don't know why you
get offended? Do you get offended by those I love?
(19:36):
Why not? Why not? That's somebody a gift basket of bathroom?
But that should somebody telling you wash your ass? You're
not mad at them? Oh? Can I buy my a
hundred and eighty dollars worth of Billy Branks DVDs, and
I'm a terrible person. Yeah, because you called a fat
I didn't call it fatid you agreed that you co
(19:58):
signed it. I simply heard you state a goal. You
stated the need. I fulfilled the need. It was wrong.
That's it. It was wrong. Let's let's go to worst,
and first we get to run in our mouth. We've
got to keep this thing moving. Uh j G. Who's
(20:19):
on the line. We actually have Langston from Chicago. Welcome
to Roy's job fair. What's your name? Man? And give
me your worst to your first. Hey, Roy, I'm so
excited to be here, my my worst. I'll go with you.
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Yeah, that's
(20:40):
Langston Kerman. Oh, it's goddamn Langs and Kerman. What occasionally
on television sent hand ship leanson garment Insecureed Lengkerman, the
host of The Black k let me get the title
of you ship, right? The host of the is it
(21:03):
the Black? No, it's the my mama told me. There
you go. My mama told me podcast? Which focus is that? Jacqueline'
gonna love this? You got a podcast. All you do
is talk about crazy ship there black people be all
the crazy roomors you get on the phone, lightening to
strike you, all of the You call it crazy. I
call it facts that the the untold facts that black
(21:26):
people maintain in their lives. Well, tell me about your
worst job or your first job. My worst job one summer,
uh and me while I was in college, my dad
got me a job where I was basically a spammer
for an internet company where like they were starting this
(21:47):
is uh twenty two thousand and eight. This is two
thousand and eight. The recession had uh had not yet
hit us in a way that we we knew it
was coming. So okay, jobs were available and this this
job apparently they were starting something called digital FunTown dot Com,
which was Hey, I'm still trying to figure it out. Hey,
(22:13):
it wasn't not that, but it was. It was basically
meant to be a competitor for adult Swim, where they
made animation, and they wanted us to go on like
Twitter and other blog sites to secretly promote for it
by like engaging with the audience but then being like,
now y'all need to check out digital FunTown dot com.
(22:35):
So I would have to like go on hip hop
blogs to be like, hey, that nigga can rap, but
you know who really raps is these people over here
at digital FunTown dot com. And there's no rap there.
You just had to lie to them. Uh. And so
I would spend hours each day on digital, on various
sites promoting digital FunTown dot com until I accidentally ended
(22:59):
up on some site where I was watching a puppy video.
It was like a puppy and a kitten and they
were playing together, and it was warm in my heart
and bringing me all the kindnesses that you want to
feel on your inside that you get the you get
the premise of puppy, so that the the puppy and
the kitten are playing together. And then for some reason,
(23:20):
the video stops, it breaks, and then it immediately turns
into a video of someone getting their head sawed off
in the middle of like a street with people surrounding them.
And so I just had to watch a man be beheaded,
and then UH explained to my boss that I couldn't
work anymore digital. I guess we know the answer now.
(23:46):
It did not catch on, It didn't make it. It's weird.
I don't know what happened. Uh, it's almost like paying
people to spam for your weird uh animation site isn't
the way to go. But in a way, what you
did at the time was kind of ahead of its
time because people buy fake followers and fake to create
fake engagement and all of that stuff. Y'all was old
(24:09):
school with it not my fun this whole world star
and back in them days, go on Lipstick Alley Go's world.
What you know about e Bomb's world? Man? That went
that was my first viral was off of EVA. They
posted a prey call back in the day. Yo. Man,
(24:31):
that's that's insane. Man, I'm sorry it happened to you. Um,
you know what I would love to do, Man, I
would love for you to hang out with It's just
for a second if you've got time, uh to just
post up with me for a little bit. Um, we're
gonna get into the world of employment. We're gonna talk
to some folks that that's that's offering real jobs that
I are better than digital FunTown dot com. If you
want to be a part of the job Fair and
(24:51):
contribute your worst and first, please email the show Roy's
Job Fair at gmail dot com. Roy's job Fair at
gmail dot calm or hit us up on social at
Roy's job Fair. After the break, we are going to
talk to someone that is helping women deal with tragedy.
(25:11):
And they are hiring, which means that they're hiring where
she is. They're probably hiring where you are. Langston Kerman
is gonna hang out with me. We're gonna talk to
this wonderful woman. It's a job fair. We'll be right
back Roy's job Fair. We are back the homie Langston
(25:33):
Kerman from TVs Insecure and the Boys and the Amazon.
His podcast is my Mama told me available. Whatever you
steal acoustical radio presentations, why do you have to steal them?
I know they're free. It feels better when you steal it.
(25:53):
You know something's supposed to have it. Just you know,
stolen food tastes better. We got to go on the
Crimes Free JJ. You acting scared and ship I know
you in higher education and every nine. Then wait a minute,
what if my own crushes say, are you never scared? Bingam? Okay? Professor?
(26:14):
All right, it's god. Look, we're gonna start small with you.
You probably one of them people you eat fruit in
the produce department being confess to that ship at the register,
don't you do Okay? I thought you were saying I
just walked around ate it and didn't pay for it.
I'm like, ma'am, this was like two pounds of grapes.
If you could just charge me for that, I would
(26:34):
appreciate it. Just add four point two ounces back to
my total. Please, I just be eating all the craze,
all right. This is a part of the show where
we talk to people out there in the world of
your company is hiring and you would like to come
on a job fair and share those positions, would love
to have you on. And if you already got a
job and you ain't looking for no job, this is
the part of the show where you get to learn
(26:56):
about some ship that other people do, all right, because
there's a lot of very interesting interesting work. This one
today a little dicey. Look dicey, but we don't see
if we can learn something and keep the humor afloat,
but more importantly, learned about what this woman does on
a day to day basis up there in Chicago. J G.
(27:19):
Who do we have on? Who? Who is? Who is
this first person that we have on and what are
they all about? Who? Who are introduced this person? Absolutely?
We have Hima. She is in Chicago. She does legal
work and she's the pro program director at a family
rescue group. She does good stuff. Okay, well I don't
(27:40):
have no jokes about that at all, because that sounds good,
wholesome work that does made of Hima? Did I pronounced
that right? Hima? Welcome to the job fair, thank you
so much for coming on. Um, First and foremost, UM,
how are you all handling COVID in Chicago. Let's just
(28:04):
it's been tough. UM, I mean, just my job itself.
We don't We've been working throughout the pandemic, UM family rescues,
it domestic violence agencies. So we have a shelter and
residential programs and I do the legal program and so UM,
we've just basically been in uh doing service. So, UM,
(28:24):
that's been tough for us. There's a lot there continue
to be a lot of domestic violence calls throughout this time. UM,
sorry that this is such a serious this is it's worked.
You're doing the real work. We don't have to It
doesn't have to be funny. If you can make it
funny we'll appreciate it. But but I appreciate is the
(28:45):
shows that you produce and those you do because that
has been what has gotten us all through the pandemic.
So thank you for entertaining us and making us laugh
this whole time, because um, I watched the Daily Show
every day. UM, I love Insecure, so like these are
so thank you so much for the entertainment because I
(29:07):
don't think we could have gone through any of this
without it. So um, but understood what you all do.
It's crazy to think of this as an industry where
there would be growth and opportunities for employment. But we
look at the numbers during quarantine. Child abuses up, domestic
abuses up, divorces up, ironically, Langston pregnancy down down. Everybody
(29:33):
everybody thought. Everybody thought that, oh you locked up, you're
gonna be yeabody. It's gonna be a bunch of quarantine baby.
It's musing our baby. Let's go crazy. Now, everyone stick
of each other. They don't want to touch each other
during this Exactly you got almost made a bridget in reference.
But you know, I like because there's women on this,
(29:54):
it's women in this situation. Everybody's pulling a Bridgetin. That's
all I'm gonna say. I got you haven't seen the show.
I'm not going to explain it because of a respectful
person who was raised at a Christian house. So Hi'm
gonna talk to me a little bit about when we
talk about domestic violence counseling and what is the training, like,
(30:14):
what what is the barrier for entry if someone's interested
in doing this, Because I imagine that your company isn't
that different from like minded organizations sprinkled all across the country.
What do I need to already know before entering that?
Because that's a very delicate issue and you're dealing like
you're low key, it's social work ish. You don't need
(30:35):
to have a degree in that. Um, I mean, we
have preferences for educational background, but honestly, we just need
people who care about doing the work and are committed
to doing the work. Because, um, when you get hired,
you have you go through a training. So everybody who
does domestic violent work in Illinois has to go through
(30:55):
a fourty hour training, but we provided they don't have
to have it beforehand. So we just get people who
are really interested in doing service. So if you have
that interest, We have plenty of positions at this time
because it is hard to do this work during the pandemic.
A lot of people don't want to be out in
the field serving people, and so that is it's been
a little bit hard to get people always to commit
(31:17):
to this kind of work right now. It's a serendipitous
that I saw your tweet about this, because we had
just about to hire somebody and then they backed out
right at that last minute. And so it's really tough
sometimes to get people. I have a great staff. They've
been really committed, um all of them through the pandemic.
They've been working really hard. So I'm really proud of them,
(31:37):
and I think I'm a good boss. So I would
really love to hire people to do the job. So, um,
are they Let me ask you about the job a
little bit. Are are you going into people's homes? Are
you in what? What is the field look like? I
guess it's the question. So my program is the legal
Advocacy Program, and we're located in the domestic violence a
(32:00):
house in Cook County in Chicago, which is open still.
I have two offices that are actually located into police
stations which are also open during the pandemic, and so
we're there because there's really no other We're not the police.
But if you want somebody who can address your trauma
in a way that the police may not know how
to do, um, that's what we're there to do. There's
(32:22):
a lot of retraining they need, we work with them,
but we are there. The first things we usually say
is we're not the police. So do you need us
to do something? How can we help you do something?
And how can we help you if you don't want
to go through the criminal justice route. We can help
you with a lot of things, like can help you
find shelter, We can try to help you find a
(32:44):
new place to live. We can help you find a
lot of things. And so I have to say that
we're not the police. Is a great way to start
the conversation. I was engaged right away as soon as
you said we're not the police. I'm listening. I got
my listening breaker at the police station. That's a really
(33:05):
important thing to tell you. So one question and then
we'll get to how people can be a part of
your organization if they choose to. At the Daily Show,
I have the luxury as a correspondent at the Daily
show of checking out periodically when there's too much bad news.
So the way the Daily Show works creatively, right, you
(33:26):
have a piece that's about to air, you have a
segment that you're currently shooting, and you're prepping a segment
that you're about to go shoot, and so at any
point you have three segments in different parts of the
assembly line. Right. If that's not happening, then my job
as a correspondent is to occupy myself with all of
(33:46):
the horrible ship in this world and figure out which
one I can make funny and go out with a
camera and shine light on that issue. And there are
weeks where you're just consuming all of the worst stuff
every single day into your brain and you got nothing.
And then I literally have to push back and take
(34:07):
a break, And I have the luxury of that of
being able to take a break from consuming negativity. How
in the hell do you and your staff deal when
eight hours a day, I'm assuming you're probably working a
little bit off the clock too. If you actually give
a damn, when do you defrag? What do you do?
(34:30):
How do you how do you manage that constant influx
of just you're making a difference and you're continuing to fight.
But what what is the trick? Is it? I'll be honest,
is it we is it yoga? I will assume that
for some people it is any of those things. But
(34:51):
when it wasn't the pandemic, it was spending time with
my friends or my family and going out. That is
what I really miss And then um, during the pen endemic,
it really has been a lot of TV. I'm not
gonna get it's just been a lot of TV anytime
I get too wrapped up in the work or in
the news. Um, even though you guys give us the news,
(35:13):
the Daily Show is a funny way to learn it.
So I really enjoy learning my information that way. But
just generally watching TV, watching movies, watching things that entertain
me that have nothing to do with the real world
is also helpful. So yeah, it's been a lot of TV. Otherwise,
I have great family and have great friends, and I've
(35:33):
been doing domestic violence work for over fifteen years, so
I think you get used to doing the job if
you can focus on the positives, and you can focus
on the fact that you're helping people and you're actually
learn and hear from people that you're helping, Can you
take those positives and that's kind of what you stick
with and you don't focus on all of the negatives
(35:54):
kind of happening. Well, where can people apply for these
positions up there in Chicago? Fewer in Chicago or want
to move here? It's freezing, Um, you just go at
the right time of the year to do it. But
but maybe where are you going? You're sitting inside anyway,
you can't it doesn't matter. There's snow everywhere around me.
(36:14):
I can't go outside. Um, but you could go on
to Family Rescue Inc. Dot org. It's Family Rescue Inc.
Dot org And that's just the website and you can
find information there. There's the different employment opportunities are listed
right on the website. So Family Rescue Inc. Dot Org. Well,
(36:35):
I mean, thank you so much for the work that
you do. And I mean this from the bottom of
my heart. It is meaningful and it matters. And if
you just change one life damage, you've ben't done enough.
Thank you so much, Matt. I like you so much.
I'm a root for the bears. Yeah, I mean they're
not playing for like another. You don't have to root
(36:56):
for that. I can't for the bulls. There's too much
going on with the bull that. Man, I'm from Chicago.
You can root for the Bulls all you want. You
ain't gonna fix what's happening, so root for the Bears.
It's just always disappointing, but it's something. It's something from
a Chicago resident. Love it. But thank you so much
(37:18):
for calling into the job. Fan, have a good one.
Thank you you guys too. She was nice, man, Yeah,
she was a sweetheart. She's doing a good work. She
was nice. She was nice. Man. That that is. That
that is and Cody and now we can say what
we actually want to say Lankster because she I was
(37:39):
being respectful, you know, because I didn't know that lady.
But I can say this around j G because we
know j G. Basically, what I was trying to say earlier,
Lankster is that quarantine got everybody stressed out. That just
pull out game. That's why I ain't know. That's why
fregnancies are down. And then the show Bridget and if
you never watched the show, it's for the people that
(38:00):
seen it just ain't what the whole show is about.
But there's a basically, it's a dude he don't want
his girl to know he ain't trying to get his
girl pregnant and she ain't never had sex before, so
she think the pullout game is how men finish. She
thinks every dude is just yelling at his sheets after
(38:20):
they finishes. That's not how that works. Well, uh, Lankston brother,
thank you so much for coming on and kicking it
with me. How to kept you much longer than I
was supposed to. But when Hollywood comes on the show,
we have to roll out the red carpet. After the break.
The Homie Ride for Short has got some stories, yo yo,
(38:43):
j G. We got to talk about these damn devil sneakers,
that little noze and also the scam of the week.
I had an article on some good scams you can ruyn,
but I think this video game dude that's calling in,
we'll we'll do a call scam this week. I saved
that for next week. Job Fair We'll be back. Roy's
(39:07):
job Fair, We are back. That was real nice of
Langston currently man. That was real nice of the brother
to hang out with us, you know, and walk us
through that world of domestic violence. And it's crazy, you know,
j G. When we think about how much that is
a byproduct of what has happened in the last year
(39:28):
and how many people are in need, and how many people,
how many women just don't have a place to go,
and God bless these women for being brave enough to
find a place to go. And how crazy is it
that you're the place providing this safe haven and you
just ain't got enough people on the clock. Sure, so
it's it's extremely meaningful work. So, you know, hats off
(39:51):
to her and everything that she's doing. And as best
we can, we'll transition out of that. Give me my
music first, we gotta set the move. Ah, there we go. Yes, Lord,
it's time like we always do at Roy's John Fair
(40:11):
to break the ice to help us do that is
None of his phone was out last week, but he's
back with some good ass WiFi for your ass this week.
The home in the roto a k A Rod for short. Rod.
How you doing this week? Brother a lot man? What's
(40:32):
going down? Yeah? Very excited to have the power back
popping man. It was it was a struggle. Yeah, man.
Rod is here as always to give white people something
that chatted up with their black co workers about at
the job, and to give black people something to chat
with their white co work is about something to break
the ice. That's what we call this segment, Breaking the ice,
real quick, Breaking the ice. Brought to you this particular
(40:55):
week by Sackleson State Community College. Jacquelin sack Wilson State
Community College is now Did you know this? There's a
little fact. I don't know if you knew this or not, Jacqueline,
did you know that people with good looking classmates more
likely to pass their classes? Sakilson State Community College Spring
(41:16):
enrollment is now open. Submit a photograph of yourself and
see if you're cute enough to attend the land's best
community college with no one in their student body under
an eight. You're guaranteed a work environment at Sakilson State
that's free from the destructions of ugly people, giving you
more time to focus on your education. Financial assistance to
all who qualified, including dental. You could like you could
(41:38):
be a seven, Like you might be an eight, but
you got that one jankie tooth, which makes you a seven.
So Sackleson won't take you button this spring. They'll help
you fix that jankie tooth. All dimes, all the time,
Sacholson State Community College. You can get a four point Oh,
but not if you're a four rod, I pass it
over to you. Give the people something to break the ice,
brother man? Right now? Uh for white people to talk
(42:03):
to the black co workers about man that the hottest
thing going in the black community right now is Little
nas x and and the fallout from his his video
for Montero a k a. Called Me by your Name
and his shoe dropped with the folks that mischief. It's
causing an old school eighties satanic panic. And as a
child of the eighties, I'm kind of kind of excited
(42:25):
to see this back in the on my TV. Okay,
so now they're accusing him to be in a devil worshiper.
Why what what happens? And if they walked me through
this because you gotta break this down, you know, we
gotta break this down for us. They gotta break the
ice to break black co workers. In two three sentences
of less here right right. So basically in the video,
Little nos Nicks takes a striple pole down the hell,
(42:48):
give Satan a lap dance and then breaks his neck.
He kills Satan, and for some reason that's got the
evangelicals all up in the test. I thought that the
religious people would like something like that, but you know,
apparently they apparently they don't. They only want straight people.
You'll satan. Okay, what Okay, this has HR violation written
(43:15):
all over it if you bring it up at work.
But okay, so then how does this connect to sneakers?
So to go along with the sneakers, little Isaacs hooked
up with the folks that mischief And now like a
they're kind of like supreme, like they make weird, weird
items that are kind of memorable. And so they dropped
the air mix ninety seven that has uh red ink
(43:39):
and one drop of human blood in the air bubbles
and yeah, it's gotta drop a human blood in the
air bubbles and a penogram on the shoe and it
stitched up representing for Luke ten eight team, and I
saw Satan falling from heaven like lightning, and uh, they're
(43:59):
making six hundred, said to six payers, go ahead and
get your early or wait, wait, whose blood is it?
Whose job is it to give you the drop of
blood that goes in these shoes? And how much does
that person make? Well they have they have a ten
person staff, so everybody on the staff donating blood and
they and they put a drop of I don't know
(44:20):
if they anybody's blood goes to the particular number of shoes,
but everybody that donated blood to get into the shoe heels.
I don't understand this. What's going on with your hair?
All right? What do you mean? What's going on with it?
It looks like you're cutting No, it's just it's just
opponent tail. There is blood and human shoes. Okay, what
(44:41):
up trying to talk hair tear? Motherfucker's just buying blood shoes,
blood shoes. Are you gonna com prepare? No, I'm not
wearing no devil nikes. Okay, but I get what you're saying.
All right, this is the type of story that you
could just go. Man, that's crazy. That guy with the
(45:04):
with the shoes, with those satanic shoes. I don't yeah, right, Um,
I don't know if you should bring this up. I
might have to detail you on this one ride. I
don't know if white people should be bringing this up
because this one has too many layers too. It's too many.
There's too many potholes in your story. If you will also,
(45:30):
that's good. We have little nos X pole dancing for
Satan so well. We have we have you know, sexuality, gender,
l g B t Q plus issues right there. Plus
on top of that he's black. Bro. That that's that's
(45:52):
a human resources big mac right there. That's too many layers.
I mean, if you feel calm we're bringing that up
around your co workers, then fine. I know, Nike ensuing
this company for augmenting their pre existing shoe because Nike
didn't sign off on none of this. No, Nike is
not officially partners. Maybe they should just bring up the lawsuits.
Well now, but what's funny about that is Nike is
(46:14):
suing them for this, But it's just Nike trying to
get in on the publicity because these people, well I
think it was two thousand nineteen they dropped the Jesus
version of those same air makes not he said it's Nike,
didn't say it work. And those they put holy water
directly sourced from the river Jordan's into the souls and
(46:36):
Jesus like to put a crucifix on it, and Nike
didn't have a care in the world. Sound like this
company needs to make shoes for the Catholic Church, all right,
give give, give the black people something to talk to
the white co workers about what can what what topic?
Can they break the ice with the white co workers
on UH This week, as as usual, we're going with dogs,
(47:01):
and we've got a dog back in the news. That's right.
It's a repeat, just like last time when we had
the Buckingham Palace coming back back to back. This time
Joe bites German Scheffer Major. That's right, Mark lives matter,
he lives batter stand down, stand true. Major is out
(47:23):
of jail and he's back in the White House and
he has already been somebody else. That's right. They tried
to institutionalize him. He wouldn't have it. You can change
his body, but you can't change his soul. And they
brought him out of that that helld they caged him
(47:44):
in and he's been a National Park Service employee because
he's still down. I don't bail first out of de
California dream. How many times? How many times can your
dog bite somebody before you just have to go? All right, man,
you gotta go back to Peco. Now, we just gotta
put you. I honestly think it's too because it's hard
(48:09):
to get away with one, even as a president, as
a regular person. If your dog browsing somebody that too loud.
They'll take your dog and put it down. Now you can't.
You can't put down Major. But he's been people two times. Man, No,
nobody's got that much pool. You gotta they gotta send
them back to Delaware permanently. Yeah, you have to go. Man,
(48:30):
let's start on that dog two times. Gotta what you
gonna do? What did you bite some ambassador or some
foreign politicians in the White House. It's gonna be a
hell of a scap. You bring some motherfucker over the
side in the peace treaty, he get like mother like
(48:56):
a civil rights video and they got them red room.
Oh Major, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's that's a good one. Man.
I forgot to ask you what you're sipping on. Um.
I know it's a little bit recording a little earlier
than normal, so I don't know if we caught you
doing whiskey old clock and not. Oh no, I'm not.
(49:19):
I'm not sipping on anything right now. I got gotta
got a dose of the old vaccine and you're right now,
so you living cleek? Did he text your right and
tell you everybody got the vaccine? They said to me,
I'm talking about I'm supposed to do that. I was
(49:42):
waiting to see. I thought we was gonna all decide
as a group whether not we was gonna all get
the vaccine. Right. Do you think I'm in the wrong
if I want to try and get all three vaccines?
I don't mean I think it can't be too safe.
(50:04):
It's not a crime. No one said don't do it.
No one's thought to do it. Sir, You're obviously light
years ahead. You can't. All great inventions come from somebody
not thinking to do somebody never thought to put peanut
butter and chocolate together. Now Reese's is a billion dollar
copy to tell all that ship chet. Nope. If you
(50:31):
get three vaccines and they all ninety percent effective, I
think that guarantees you a hundred percent. That's two seventy
percent effectiveness. That's not how math works. I mean, you
can can't. You can't beat that effectiveness. That how you
can't afford to not get all three vaccines. So you're
(50:54):
gonna take off three vaccines? Rot if I can, I
can't go a twin brother, get another? Yes, I am
for short. Podcast is Uncle Rod Story Corner. Get it
wherever you download podcast, Rod hit him up pause on
(51:15):
the internet at Rod the number four short ride for
short Rod. I will leave you to your clean living
um at least, I guess for the next week or
so till you get that second shot and amen to
that or that? All right? Right? Well, hih, let you boy.
(51:43):
He's great. He's great, he's great. All right, scam it
a week? That was? That was? That is a fair question, though, Jacqueline, Seriously,
how many times can your dog bites someone before you
just said to go? All right, you just gotta let
(52:07):
you go. But you know, Joe wild, So what you
expect from the dog? Yeah? I kind of liked that
the dog is wild? Like, is this the first president
with just a wild ass animal? Why not just get
a wolf? Like? Why does it have to be a dog?
Why not just have like a boa constricted Like, that's
what I really want out of a president. Just exotic animals,
(52:30):
just some tiger king gays, mytherfucker with just wild creatures
living on the lawn. Well, you know what they say
about d C. If you want a friend, get a dog.
Apparently not that dog, Joe Biden. He didn't bite, So
Joe Biden got one of them dogs. You gotta ask
where is that before you come in the house. Yeah, yeah,
(52:51):
you ever go with my house? Come on king? Oh
he ran back and good can come running around the corner,
all right, scammer a week. Uh, this is where we
invite people on the short. Sometimes I find a good
hustle in the news, I share it with you, and
(53:11):
sometimes people call in and go, hey, this is some
ship we used to steal at the job. But I've
seen stolen at the job and uh, someone's been nice
enough to call in with that today, and I do
appreciate that because this is the people's podcasts. Respect to
Tyler quality. I don't want you to think I'm starting
to name your podcast, but were for the people. Um
(53:35):
J G. Who's on the line. We have Peter who's
in p A and he once worked at a video
store and there's something they did with the one time
deposit of ten dollars that you just have to hear about. Okay,
So Peter, first off, welcome aboard the job fair. The
people can't see it at home, but I can see it.
(53:57):
Loving the Cubs hat, thank you very much. I'm wearing
the Pirates at today, but it's the Pirates allt with
the red bill and I like it. It's the only
other baseball hat I wear every nine and then I
rocked the Purple Diamondbacks throwback every Night from the Cubs
on your bookshelf there, oh man, So tell us a
(54:20):
little bit about the video store days, because I always
thought in video stores, I thought the only scam was
just like I used to get mad as fuck on
new release Tuesdays and I would show up at ten am, right,
because that's when the new movies would drop, and it
would be on the shelf, and you could go at
ten am and they would go, oh, yeah, we don't
have any copies. I go, you got them. You're just
(54:41):
holding them. They're in the back for your fucking friends.
And but I can't prove it, so I just have
to huff and puff around the store. And that was
absolutely true. They had them, they just weren't giving them up.
The store I worked at was Hollywood Video, all right,
pe Hollywood Video, but one of the greats, one of
(55:03):
the greats, and they had a weird kind of deposit
where you would have to pay ten dollars to rent
a video game. Mhm. But most people didn't know is
that the ten dollars was immediately reimbursable once you brought
back the video game. They thought it just had to
stay there. So they thought it was just a ten
dollars wait ten dollars per video game, per rental, or
(55:26):
just one time, never hollow back. Yep, the first time
you rent the game ten dollars, and then once you
bring it back, you can get that back after the
first game. And they did not know that, and so
they would never get back their ten dollar deposit, and
they wouldn't everything to ask yep. So they would just
(55:47):
return the game and they would have just imagined that
it's supposed to stay there. And then the clerk would
go in and they would see when they returned the game,
a little thing would pop up and say do they
want their ten dollars back? And you just hit a
little key and say yes and that Sam, do you
(56:09):
follow it? J G. This is very much like some
three card Monty type ship. That's that's I like this scam.
And I like it because if you didn't keep the
ten the corporation was going to keep the tin. Yes, sir,
now granted you should have volunteered the money back to
(56:31):
the customer. Absolutely what because first off, that's a stupid question.
Who the funk don't want they ten dollars back? The
system should have been set up to just automatically split
the ten right back out on the spot if we
really want to be serious about this ship. So Hollywood
(56:53):
Video knew what they was doing. You know what this
is like? This is like when these places make you
do those fuck ass bates during the holidays where buy
three thousand batteries. Brother, fuck up and mail me the
receipt and three corners of the packaging and I will
send you back to hundred thousand dollars. All you have
(57:16):
to do is complete your arts and crafts assignment and
then we will fucking send you and you and you
buy the batteries full price, and then you go home
and you never do your arts and crafts and then
they just never have to give you the money, which
is why you send off rebates. It still takes eight
months for them to send you the check because they
can't believe that you actually fucking did the ship. So
(57:40):
over the course, just just walk me through a shift, Peter, Yes,
how much money are you pulling down on the ten
dollars scam? Is it just was a register. Are we
splitting tips with the whole house? So I learned it
from our assistant manager who was probably late alreadies. And uh,
(58:02):
the manager was in his twenties, so I'm sure he
was very upset about that. What kind of Hollywood video
was this one? In Illinois? And he would take his
lunch breaks at the lone Star steakhouse and drink about
a picture for his lunch period. He was not a
(58:22):
the best assistant manager that so yeah, he was taking
his penance. Yes, So he he showed me how to
do this, and mostly you would get people who would
be very on top of it, and they would bring
in the game to you and say I want my
(58:43):
ten dollars and then you can get the button you
give them their ten dollars back. But most people would
just return it into the return slot and wouldn't even
hang around. Oh so when you're going through return and
all the returns, all the games, you line up and
it would pop up if they had gotten there were
deposit back. So you put it in the machine that
(59:04):
they got their deposit back, and you got to line
your pocket with ten dollars. But Roy asked a good question,
so was it split between the house or how did
that work out? There was no real system in order. Um,
it was if you were there in the game, had
the deposits tale, it was yours. It's just your lucky night. Yep. Well,
(59:30):
God bless your brother. Thank you for calling me in
with that scam. Peter, what do you do now? Um
you're lawyer, aren't you. No? I am a bureaucrat. I
knew it's nice, nice, nice, nice, Well, Peter, thank you
(59:51):
so much for calling in, and thank you for admitting
to contributing to the downfall of one of our most
colored industries in this country. Um. I'm not gonna put
it solely at your feet. Um, I think maybe the
Netflix a small park. Seriously, doctor, the ten dollar deposit
(01:00:11):
hustle was gonna break them anyway. They were already broken.
Your manager got drunk on the clock. Thank you so
much for calling to the job for every brother. All right, yes, sir,
go Cubs re sign rizzo. Motherfucker's I'll save that for
a baseball podcast. All right, Thanks Peter, Thank you, all right,
(01:00:34):
So that's the show. Thank you to everybody who called
in today. Thank you as always to Sackleson State Community College.
All times, all the time. The only community college for
good looking people. The Homie Langston coming. Check out this
podcast my mama told me available wherever you download all
the ship and uh, thank you as always to you,
(01:00:57):
j G. Always here are the red blood cells that
oxygenate this acoustical radio program. And I thought you would
not be possible. Uh. If you have an extra vaccine appointment,
please email it to me Roy's job there at gmail
(01:01:17):
dot com because I'm gonna get that second in that
third vaccine. I'm getting all the vaccines and y'all can't stop.
We are not closing on that. We're gonna close on
congratulating you again on the untitled single camera comedy that
you are preparing to produce. Congratulations roy Wood Jr. If
(01:01:40):
we could see d blush, I know you are because
you don't like it when people talk about you. But
I'm gonna congratulate you anyway. Congratulations Royood Jr. Thank you
very much, j G. As a woman who has known
my opinions and struggles and trying to get stuck on television,
I will just sendody stop there and we will see.
Thank you. Can I appreciate it absolutely. That doesn't get
(01:02:02):
you off the hook for getting vaccinated without You're not
getting the third vaccine. You gotta get the first one first. Okay,
we'll talk about this next week. This has been a
Comedy Central podcast
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