December 7, 2022 • 68 mins
What’s it like when it’s your job to speak for the dead? A Crime Scene Investigator walks the team through the sights (and smells) when he’s in charge of extracting every possible piece of evidence from a crime scene. Forget ‘Bones’ and ‘CSI,' the real business of forensics is grueling and not at all glamorous.But it’s a competitive field where a bachelor's degree won’t even crack the surface of a job lead. He breaks down ways people can become a real-life CSI, and of course, Jacqueline asks, “How much does it pay?!”Speaking of the dead, Roy tells the story of the time a ghost interrupted him having foreplay. @Rod4Short details a video game designer who wants to kill you! Literally. He wants to kill you dead with his murderous oculus VR murder headset…like actual murder….like seriously…the headset will kill you.An appetite for change equals a pay raise for servers in the nation’s capital, and the team looks at the profit margins honoring your loved one’s final wishes.Follow the Job Fair on all the socials @RoysJobFairCatch Roy alongside Jon Hamm in “Confess, Fletch,” STREAMING NOW ON SHOWTIME. Watch all Roy Wood Jr Comedy Specials NOW available on iTunes and streaming NOW on Paramount+
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy Central. That World Cup about to
come to an end, Ralph It's been a good one
to come to and then you've enjoyed it. Man, this
Corruption Cup has been the best shift I've ever seen. Man,
you know how much money I made in the Corruption Cup.
Corruption Cup has been killing bread. It's amazing. I don't
like seeing them African nations get their asswhoop like this
(00:21):
against these European countries. Personally, I like seeing certain countries
go home earlier, like Germany. So you know, I mean
it worked out, it was it was good. It's so
far it's been good. Well, if you need somewhere to
go and j G, I know you was just over
there in the Middle East, so this, this job opening
might be for you. Now. In spite of everything that's
(00:43):
going on with the World Cup, apparently they are still
job openings available. What the hell is going on in Cota.
They need an anesthesia technician, they need an epidemiologist, and
they need a psychologist. He's all available. And indeed, now look,
any one of these jobs by themselves being available, I
(01:06):
would not think anything of it. When you see these
three jobs all side by side, What the fun is
going on on the other side of this World Cup again,
an epidemiologist, a psychologist, and a special education technician COVID
still running while over there bank one person. We got
(01:32):
three openings. They better be glad that the World Cup
wouldn't in China because they have just locked everybody in
the country to tun for China. Human right to be
a struggle day. This is my job. Don't get a
(02:16):
little creepy today. UM. I'm blessing the dead as you're
looking in your episode description as episode is titled God
Bless the Dead. This is about occupations that involved people
who are charged with telling the stories of those who
have passed on. Don't talk about the crime scene investigator
(02:36):
to see what all that did. Body ship just liking
if that ship is really as sexy as they make
a scene on CBS. I'm telling y'all right now. UM,
you know, when I died, let niggas put all on
my here your Jacqueline again. Whenever I talk about my death,
(02:59):
she on one, she on here that ship life JJ.
When I die, I need you to not let these
niggas put up bullshit clips of me from the comedy clubs.
As soon as I gonna put all the suit Roy clips,
all the suits, all the sum saying the extra big
suits too, like the Harvey suits. The Harvey suits. Yeah,
(03:23):
I released prank calls. You're right there. Where what I'm
getting to right the fact that because here's what happens
at a lot of comedy clubs. They record the show
for that night on a wide frame, just for posterity,
just to have, and then they stored these tapes in
a vault. And then when the comedian dies, they go
(03:45):
rest in peace. And then they find the shittiest clip
from a Thursday night, from a joke that you never
even put on TV because you didn't believe in it,
and that's the clip they post online and go, Roy,
we always look Jacqueline, I want you to report those
accounts of spat okay, it ain't polish it from Comedy Central.
(04:08):
Don't you. Don't you let these shitty ask comedians post
that bullshit before you die? I mean, just because only
sneakers and jackets. Roy, it should be it should be
slow as plans of your slow pans on the kis.
(04:30):
That's all it needs to be. But I'm serious, and
I know you have but it is a very It
is a high honor to be charged with trying to
make sure that the dead are honored and true. You know,
there's other occupations we've got to get to in later
episodes when we revisit this subject. I'm talking about your
funeral home industries. Even motherfucker's forgot about you. Don't get
(04:55):
one of you all on the show. I'm on record
saying I ain't talking about the funeral director. They scared me. Bread,
I'm good man. Cats get real serious, real quick. Rat
can't do it, so Roy, that's Roy talking ship for
the record. When you come on, y'all touched it to you.
I don't sunk with people that ownt pig farms and
crematoriums on me. Real talk. Can't do funeral home ship.
That's some real ship. Man. My funker is coming to
(05:17):
funeral home and beat up the dead body. These gangs, yeah, oh,
Jaqueline drive through right. You can't even come in the
funeral home to pay your respects because the rival gang
will come in and remurder you. Oh no, yeah, drag
(05:38):
your body back out, dragged back into the street, shoot
the body up again. Yes, this this happens, and then
you know what happens The funeral home charges you would
give Oh my god, can body you even mother surgery?
Like we had to touch him up again? We gotta
(05:58):
right up again, right Yeah, Yeah, it's a it's a
very dangerous job, funeral home director. But you know, we'll
talk to the c s I kid and see what
that's like. Like can you get the finger can you
(06:21):
get the fingerprint with the superglue? You know, take this
back to the lab process this, take it back to
the lab. Some TV whenever they take some ship back
to the lab, no lab results come back quick as hell. Meanwhile,
I'm waiting four days for a fucking COVID test. That's
(06:41):
the biggest perfect tration by those shows is that data
base that everybody has access to. That the first one
days shown is like, no that the reel at all.
But we got two days before this ship gold forever
and we gotta drive to pick up fingerprints and ship
they get even faxed them samets. And women do not
(07:08):
wear those tight pants in the lab. Let's get that
out there too. How many fleeced into that whole thing
because they think women are in there with the body
dresses own. Yeah, I'm totally gonna be a frensic side
to look at way she dressed. Infection waiting to happen.
(07:29):
Stop that madness. Okay, well you know what, that's people
like bread. We can try and fix that. Open this microphone.
It's my fault. Let's start before we go down the
(07:52):
wrong road. It's time now for Cody's most Outstanding Employee
of the week. So we just had an election not
too long ago, little earlier hearing McRib Awareness Month, and
that is not a real thing. Now, I just shut shut.
(08:12):
I just think that you're disrespecting my people, and I
just don't understand why me and my fellow mcribigins have
to be subjective to this level. I got my earlier
this year because I was at wy Women. They came
back like two weeks earlier. Woman get it. They had
a handwritten side in that busal bag and they're like
two days later there was announcement that the McRib was hit.
(08:36):
In two weeks. That's gonna be a very small part
of your museum. It's just gonna say mcgrib and we're
gonna keep moving. So Initiative A D two in Washington,
d C. Was a very contentious initiative. Originally was struck
(08:56):
down two years ago. Um, cooler heads to prevail people
campaign the right way. Um. You know, when the initiative
was originally passed, city council was polluted and poisoned by
corporate entities that forced them to rescind the law. But
(09:19):
now voters spoke up and in Washington, d C. Restaurant
workers will receive a huge wage which now outlaws sub
minimum wage for tip workers. Instead, they'll get full minimum
wage plus tips on top. Congratulations to all the service
(09:40):
industry folks out there in Washington, d C. I'm sure
our good friend Chef Rock from the Food Glorious Food
episode of somewhere crying because you got to pay them
his website and he pays fifteen dollars or more per person.
That was automatically all ready. I think he was a
(10:01):
good remember. I remember on tape, he was on tape
saying that he believed that you needed to pay people
more for the jobs that they do. So he was
actually he was actually all about this one here. Bro.
He was on point with that, and he's sustainable, so
all of the things in the restaurant they can compose recycle. Oh.
I looked him up before somebody gonna come talk to
me about food, and he was googling. He was googling
(10:23):
chef right, I was googling because I need to know
if he can cook for real. Oh, so he can
cook for you. Oh we got jokes shots fired, trying
to decide that we need to get her yacht to
be a middleman to get over the dec you know,
sound pretty good. She was the one talking to him
about the glazing and all this. Since you tell me
(10:45):
I got to learn to be arrogant number one, I
don't need a middleman. Let's start there. Why don't you
return you need to learn to be number two. I'm
not interested, chef. Let's just be clear about Yeah, just
the thing. Um, here's my concern. Do you think once
the general public knows that they're getting full minimum wage,
(11:09):
will they tip less? Because you're incentivized to tip twenty
five and because you know they ain't making nothing, you
know they're gonna put some fat in all and you
got damn shrimp. But now, well, you know you'd be
rude to an employee. You know they put them pupil
cash and your ship you got, you got, you gotta
be in your water. It's this is initiative two net
(11:34):
positive or net negative for servers. It's gonna be that
positive for the money they make in general. But when
it comes to tips, the tips are gonna go down.
It's gonna be like you, like, in Europe, they you know,
you don't tip because they pay restaurant workers a proper
wage and you're encouraged to not tip. But for all
(11:59):
the Americans listening right now, like that's it's considered rude
and most European countries and people will look at you
very weird and call your ass out for trying to
leave a tip, like you're getting bearrassed for that really badly.
I don't I'm not sure. I'm not. Like I'm excited
(12:19):
and I'm happy for the workers, but I'm not initially going,
all right, everything's perfect. It's like, okay, well, what's the
I'm not going, what's the what's the ripple? Can't say
perfect and can't say perfect. I can't can't say perfect.
I mean, I don't know. I got a lot of
homies that still make a living in d C as bartenders,
as waiters, and you know these are the cats who
(12:40):
was also doing things on the side that could have
got them in the hell of a lot of trouble
just that they can make the rent. So you know,
then I feel like it's a hell of a kicker,
And you know, in the beginning, I kind of understand
what right it is saying too, but I kind of
feel like it's in the beginning so far as it's
definitely a net positive, you know, say that these castles
making a little bit more money, you know, I mean,
I think it's all the people who were against raising
(13:04):
their wages and we're talking about tips. Are the people
who are gonna stop tipping because now they're making fifteen
an hour, So they're gotta feel like this is the
trade off. I tipped you because anyway, but that but
that's what that's the next movement, and that in the
opposite side of that struggle is the people saying, why
(13:25):
should I tip now you're making fifteen hour, that's what
you wanted. Yeah, I think you should tip. I'm going
to continue to tip. I put it that way, like
tip I can watch. I tipped for selfish reason. I tipped,
well for a selfish reason. I tipped for a very
selfish reason. I don't want people to think black women
(13:48):
don't till so very well. Whether you bring the ketchups
that I asked yes, whether you bring that ketchup that
I asked for, I'm still going to tip you. Whether
I'm in the kitchen looking for my own mustard, I'm
gonna tip twenty. You're trying to bribe racist. I just
(14:09):
I can't take kind of like that to a degree.
I'm like, hey man, here's ten dollars. Please don't hate
niggas basically what you're saying, because sadly some of the
places that we all end up, we're the only people
that they see, and I just I feel like I'm
(14:30):
doing it for everybody sometimes. So I just have to
tell well, well, nonetheless for getting initiative two past and
getting yourself a little extra bread, and then what you
need to start doing. Also, DC service, you'all need to
start lying to say that that ship didn't past. No
nobody knows. Don't tell nobody for standing up for yourselves
(14:55):
and getting yourself up to full wage, getting yourself up
to minimum wage, which really still ain't ship. The biggest
scheme of things, uh, stand tall restaurant workers and don't
let these folks start working with your hours and making
your sections smaller and making making your section bigger, so
you have to cover more ground and then give worse service. Um,
(15:17):
so just just I'm happy for you, but watch for
the pendulum to swing the other way and just keep
your eyes open. But in the interim, you all are
most outstanding employee of the week, brought to you Queen
Mother fried Chicken, the best talking, the best fried chicken
(15:37):
on earth, according to ship Talking Ass shear Frock. Okay, dude,
did talk a lot of it about this ship that's
got damn chicken so good, all right, worse from first time. Oh,
I gotta get you know what they're We gotta give
a salute old book of Hyak. You know she to
(16:00):
see the stuff the knees who gave her y'all a
mission a couple of months ago. Because you know, some
of these more unique careers that we have on this show,
it takes a minute to book. You just can't get
interesting people with interesting jobs to always say yes. And
so we told, oh, yeah, we wanted to do a
death episode. We wanted to get somebody on crime scene investigation.
(16:23):
And nonetheless, um, we have somebody that was willing to
come on and talk to us about the world of
crime scene investigation, and the more questions we had, the
longer the document got. And I just think we need
to settle in for this brother, with this brother for
as long as we can, because we had nobody else's
dead body suit from Mississippi who we had on and
(16:47):
you don't the world of dead bodies. We don't get
offed on this show. It's it's it's some kind of world. Yeah,
it's but it's a lot of money in that world
because people are it's always inventory o people are. Yeah.
I mean I don't know about a whole lot of money.
There's a whole lot of dying. J G. Who do
we have on the phone? You heard him already. It's
(17:09):
Corey from North Carolina and he's a crime scene investigator,
one of the first people called to the scene of
the crime actually, and he'll be talking with the roy
about how he got into the field, the many aspects
of the job, and also what can go wrong, what
can go right, and advice for those looking to break
(17:31):
into the field. Hello, Corey, how's it going now? I
would imagine you really ain't there in the crime in
progress the crime has concluded. My goal is to be
as far away until the crime has concluded. Okay, I
don't I don't even know where to go for Let's
(17:52):
just start with your path into this world. You know,
it is gory, it is viscerule. I would imagin aagine
that you've had to create some sort of mental barriers
to keep this ship from permeating into your psyche so
you can still be your loving father and husband and
all of that other normal people ship. But when did
(18:13):
you When did you just look at this job and go, yeah,
I can do that. What is that? Three people shot
and killed? Yeah? I can come clean that up right quick.
What happened over all? Look cocaine and mother missing? Yeah,
and I can check for the clues. Yeah, was that?
And dog miss somebody in the pole? We gotta see
which way the dog went to find the people that
(18:35):
the dog? Yeah, I can do that. How do you
get to that place? Because this ain't one of them
jobs to get invited to career day? How many career
days you've been you've been invited to career days. I
actually do go into like all the local high schools
and talk about the job. Really it's for the forensic
science class they have. That's all right, But Honestly, I've
kind of gotten this. I wanted to do this in
(18:57):
high school myself. UM. Sorry, kind of weird, but I was.
I don't think it's that weird because the one thing
that the one thing that dead body Suit told us
that I really appreciated was that she has an opportunity
as a medical examiner. She was a medal, she wouldn't
see as she was. She's a medical examiner. She's an
(19:17):
opportunity to tell the story of this person through medicine
and through science and be able to connect the dots
and hopefully answer questions for the living that she gets
to speak for the dead. Yeah, I mean mine was
kinda I always like to ask, like the Friends of aspect,
(19:37):
I actually started well and then started I finished both
my Paschelor's and Masters in Friends of Chemistry, so I
was kind of on the working in a drug ken
lab or toxicology lab or something like that. UM before
my senior year undergrad, I actually got the chance to
intern with n c I s UM really and that's
(20:01):
what actually put me out. I got out on the
field and got to see a lot, and that's when
I was like, you know what, I actually kind of
like this being out on the field, being on scenes,
being you know, in some of the action. Um. So
I kind of went to grad school on the mindset
of I want to do ce side, Um, I want
to Penn State. So um, I got a lot of
(20:23):
experience there like that, Like you know, I'm not man,
not man represents are I think it's important to denote
with your occupation. You know, we're talking about a crime
scene investigator. It's not just blood and gore. It's also
breaking into car accidental, could be a missing person and
the borders. You know, yeah, also murder and stuff like that.
(20:45):
But you know, we talk about everything that goes on
with that job. You know, you have a job that's
been portrayed on television for i'd say about twenty years now.
If we go back to the original recipe C sid
Las Vegas, what does TV get right and all the
bat because there's a lot of get that to the lab, Yeah,
on all of them show, every every show, get that
(21:05):
to the lab. What do you get take a picture
of that? Put one in the little yellow numbers beside it.
I mean they get that part right, taking the picture,
They get that right? I mean, really, TV, I mean
I always talking to go into like high school classes.
I'm saying, you know, yeah, TV shows you the murders,
they show you the fun stuff, they show you the
(21:27):
interesting stuff, but what they don't show you is that
seven percent of his job is working breakings are working
stoe you know, recover stong, vehicles are working the other
you know, stuff that's not going to be on CSI.
Miami had a clock on Tuesday, Like, you're not going
to see it because it's not always that interesting. Um.
I mean, you're not walking in the parties field with
(21:47):
coked out strippers and naked on the floor who ode
because they're partying too much with Wow. You know, it
doesn't happen. I've ever seen that, now, damn it. And
in real life, do the women actually wear the skinny
black pants? Women wear the same thing. I wear B
d U s and a T shirt. Okay, thank you,
(22:09):
we're tansens and no, we wear stuff that can get
dirty and you know, bloody and brain matter and whatever
else we're going to be dealing with that day. Because
on the movies and in the television shows they have
on wedge heels and the pants that hit at the
point and I'm like this is crazy perfectly tailor Yes,
(22:30):
you cannot do this job and no wedge heels. I
can tell you that, thank you, because you know with
what they do on television, clearly you have characters doing
multiple things I would assume which is not the truth.
Like this is the photographer also going back to the
lab to develop the the person that pulled the fingerprint
(22:51):
also going back to the little fingerprint glass hut to
put in the superglue fumes to pull the print. Like
what about that is that is legit? Can you pull
the fingerprints off all of the ship? Corey kind of?
And so some places you're going to have people that
are gonna have afferent jobs. When you go to a
major city, um, you're gonna have separate people that are
(23:11):
doing all the separate jobs. Where I work, we're a
little bit smaller, and so we do a little bit
more so we do some of our c s. I
S do also do all the late fingerprint stuff. Um.
So they are the ones that are working crime scenes,
lifting fingerprints and then going back to the lab and
actually analyzing the fingerprint to see if it's an identification
on the person or if it's not. Um So, really
(23:35):
you will see that, but you're never going to see
the person that's doing all that, also interrogating a suspect,
also making an arrest, also doing whatever else. Those are
usually where the separation is made. You don't get to
run people down. I'm okay, you don't get to run
people down now, I'm good without that. How did your
relationship with the concept of death change once you started
(23:59):
working this up? Just because in terms of your psyche,
how does this job affect your psycho to see all
of that? Units talked about burnout not too long ago.
We talked about newsrooms, Like you get stretched out in
the newsroom reading about the bad things. Your job is
to go and make sure that the criminals are brought
to justice by collecting clues at the scene where the
(24:21):
bad thing happened. How is that? How is your relationship
with death, you know changed over the years. It's definitely
gotten different, um and it's one of it. It's hard
to describe, Like death to me is just kind of
like another It's like part of everyday life. I was
I was trying to actually explain this recently, and I
(24:43):
kind of went like I had to realize that not
everyone sees us every day. I was like, yeah, so
most people see death once every couple of years with
someone like close to them. Um, so they're really only
involved in it once every years or unfortunate circumstances, maybe
a few more. For me, it's once every couple of days,
(25:07):
once four or five times a week. Um, that's scary, man.
I did I did crime scene um, crime scene clean
up for all of a month. I couldn't take it.
And it wasn't the deaf things for me. It was
the hoarder thing. What what's some of the what's the
worst one you've seen? Like, it is the death stuff
(25:27):
worse than the than the hoarding worst is like I
don't know, somebody who's got a dog pin of ancient Like,
what's the worst that you've seen so far? Yeah, honestly,
kind of going along with the hoarder thing. Um, people
that are somewhat hoarders and then aren't found for a
couple of months, that's when it gets a little raunchy. Um. Yeah,
(25:52):
I've seen some things. Um, I've seen people that haven't
been found for like four or five months, and by
that point it's it's not exactly pretty. And honestly, those
are worse than the murders, because like the murders, it's
like whatever, there's a little blood and maybe some brain matter,
(26:13):
But when you need a snow shovel to pick somebody
up because they've just used everywhere, it's that's honestly the
worst stuff for me is that Monton Monton Monts. That's
just like when I lived in l A And didn't
have a fridge. Came home one day and they were
roaches everywhere, and when I when my landlord came running
(26:34):
up to me, he was like, oh, by the way,
you're getting a couple of months free rent. I was like,
that's cool, but why are there roaches everywhere? I ain't
got no damn fridge. Come find out the dude that
lived in the apartment above me was dead and had
been dead for almost three or four months, and people
didn't know. And when they went and checked in on them,
because you know, everything had been compact and closed for
three months, when they opened the door and the roaches
(26:56):
spread out and all that kind of stuff, it literally
impacted the entire place. And the smell was gone awful,
like it was unreal. The sights are what they are,
but the smell that that you can't get past. That sometimes,
and it's one of those things that you'll be like
later that day, you'll be like sitting there and you're
still kind of smelling, and you're just like, what wise. No,
(27:18):
I've heard that some detectives actually smoke because of the smell.
Do you smoke or and like I'm talking about cigars
or something that's pretty heavy to get that smell away. No,
just really are really to take it to the head.
Give me that rigging mortis straight to the head. There
(27:44):
are people that use like vix vapor rub on their
own lip, but I found that just smell and salt.
Then you just smell vix and dycomp So it's I
don't know, but how much of this still But and
it's important to make this dis action here because crime
scene cleanup is its own thing and is noble. But
(28:07):
your job, let's not forget this. You operate as an
extension of law enforcement to find clues that helps solve
a crime or determined that a crime did not happen.
After the break, I want to talk with you a
little bit more about what it takes to do this job.
And we need some advice from you, Corey on people
who want to get into the Do you like smelling
(28:27):
dead bodies? Do you like coming home thinking like criminals?
But you motherfucking helped the police catch that motherfucker. And
what at the time it will be breaking to see us.
It's the job fair. We'll be right back, job fair. Uh,
(28:53):
Scam of the week standing by with Corey crime scene
investigation analysts and see if there's some scams caring on
the bed. But if you can just steal stuff up
like you know what I'd have been tempted to do
back in the day, j G. I crime scene dead buddy,
don't hit that credit card one more time? Then I
(29:14):
bribed the corner to change the time of death till
tomorrow and make it seem like you did that. You know,
they're very competitive, those corners are very competitive. When they
hear that someone has died, they both show up with
those long wagons, Like three of them showed up at
the house one time. Aren't you supposed to get dispatched
from like the sheriff, like a we choose you come
(29:36):
get the body? How you put up ice cream like
a food truck? Your customers, unty, do you have your auntie?
Like a certain funeral home and they're gonna call and say,
my brother just died. Get on over here and your
other aunty like a certain funeral home. Boom, it's going down,
and they get their fast. Roy I've seen this, Okay,
(29:57):
you've seen it. Never mind they get their fasts. What
they gotta least scanner? Are they just listening for like
scanners too? Yeah? When I worked in television, I knew
all the codes. So yeah, dead body natural causes is
code for that too. If you're a corner, do you
just pull up and like sit around the corner from
(30:17):
ship where you think some ship goes like like like
the same way food trucks be stalking like like my
perfect example, when The Daily Show was in Atlanta, we
had audience lines that were three hours long by Tuesday,
all of them Atlanta hustlers that pulled up with a
hot dog cart, taco carts, and the Monday it was
(30:37):
butt naked. But once they saw all people gonna be
standing here. Cool. So if you're a corner and you
got your hurts, are you just out just like oh
it's a rap concert tonight. That's different down there? I
know where in those places you've got to be dispatched
(30:58):
by the people there's a dispatch that dispatches the city
corner of the places and ship. But I don't know
y'all Alabama down there doing the hunger games with dead
folks and corners as wow, boy, I've seen it. And
geogea to the mistress, call and corner somebody else calling.
We bring this man on the program every week. You've
(31:19):
heard him early already. He is the uncredited inventor of
the emotional support clue. It's been known to walk around
barefoot up there in Middle Tennessee and get a shock
or straight with the earth. He's undefeated and pregnancy scares
a lifetime record of forty three oh and two. And um.
(31:40):
If you're looking for a Christmas gift, ladies, go stand
outside and stand down when and put a little peanut
butter whiskey on your neck, and you will a pere
and give you a gift. Mama named Murdo. We call
him right for short. Rod. We're talking about these dead
bodies today, man, how we can honor and how we
can honor tell their story? Like you know, yeah, you
(32:04):
haven't seen a dead body rock several severn what about job? Wait, no,
you can't several multiple we're not talking funerals, right, We're
just talking just a dead body out in the wild. Yeah,
no funerals, no hospitals. Yeah, I've seen a bunch of
(32:26):
dead bodies. Why most I've seen three, and I don't
even like recanting those. How then are you seeing several
I'm from the like, not like a relative in the
house who's just passed. No, I'm talking about I'm talking
about Yeah, I'm talking about neggas that have been murdered.
So like freshly murdered bodies you've seen. Yeah, Yeah, I've
(32:49):
seen a lot of dead bodies. Why because I'm from
the hood. I'm from the hood. I ain't seen that
many dead bodies. I was outside, you want to say
that I was out sad. I just imagine Rod just
seeing like a dead body Jacqueline and then just to
fucking corners bend in the corner like a sucking fast
(33:15):
drifting that bitch and then hopping out this you bro?
Can I help you with all the time, all the
time I ever stayed around, you know, to see some
ship like that is like when niggas get killed in
public that it really ain't had nothing to do with
nothing I had going on I've seen that. I have
seen corners pull up like that. We bring right on
(33:36):
this program to give you topics, to give your co
workers that you hate chance to shut the funk up
for a little something amazing that you found out about
the world ride to turn it over to you. But listen,
I want to I want to touch your two things
real quick. The first one is Roy. He was talking
(34:01):
about to pull the credit cards somebody's and I just
like that. Roy's read one credit card scale and almost
went to prison for and he is still symbolical about it,
still like you don't be cool. You did that the
(34:21):
first time you did you got cold. You can't do
that though, I gotta get out this time, like boy
credit card like you already failed that. He didn't sound
(34:42):
like kid, And it sound like kid thought about it too, right,
like it was a sound like he got cold. He
was like, man, it was like if it was like
ninety eight, if it was like that, ain't that would
be an easy scale. You could at least got a
tank of gas off the But the second thing you
brought up, you brought up Christmas in my uh in
(35:05):
my intro and quick tip for the fellas a great
way to save money and get all your girls to
get that Christmas is by things for your main girl,
and then you get your side chicks the free with
purchase of you give them that shipt. So minute, now
you little Christmas tip for you. You fall off at
(35:29):
them all, they're like, hey, you spend fifty dollars, they
get one of these with free, and you spend fifty
on your girl and you get a little ashment scarf
to the side chicks. I have to give you that,
which I'm not aside anything, but I would tell you this,
I'm agreeing with you when it comes to saving money.
(35:51):
I hear you. I co signed on that one. Yeah,
there you go give it. You got your girlfriend in
the perfume saying, then you get the side check a
little travel bag that they give you for free with it. Yeah,
or go even bigger, break up the set, give one
the perfume, one the lotion, and one the bad thing
and put in the disrespectful to you can't do this.
(36:16):
You can't do your girl in side chicks. That's that's disrespectful.
It's disrespectful. It's disrespectful to have a side chick. It's disrespectful.
So I have a secondary, third, fifth woman. Yes it is,
it's just that's necessary. Whatever. But I'm with you on
saving money. I'll co sign on saving money. How do
I say this politely? I've worked for people who have
(36:41):
had wives, girlfriends, and a couple of other things going on.
I had to send gifts everybody. There you go. You
know That's why I know how to break this down
and remind them, Hey, your wife likes roses. She likes daffodils.
(37:04):
Before you walk out of here, there shouldn't be fun
with nobody that like daffodils. A number one sometimes talk
to the librarian. It'd be like that something, you know,
cat ladies love as alius. Let's give these people some
(37:31):
topics to bring up at the job. Brother, Well, uh,
these are very fascinated stories for both sets. The people
right off the bat Oculust co founder Palmer Lucky, who
was fired from Facebook after they acquired the Oculus VR company,
(37:54):
has continued to go off the deep end, and he
has created a new VR heads that that will kill
you in real life if you die in the game.
Into that ready player one world. Now it is time matrix.
(38:19):
If I die in the matrix, I die. Body cannot
live without the mind, and that is exactly what has
happened right now. He says, it's it's more an art
installation than a working concept. But he has built a
VR headset with tiny bombs inside attached to your name.
(38:40):
They will explode if they if the sensors pick up
a certain frequency of red light flashing on the game
over screen. And he says that this is the next
evolution of people wanting to attach themselves to their avatars
in reality and virtual reality. And now he's play those
(39:00):
games consequences. He skipped right over like orgasm sensors to murder,
right straight up murder. It's insane and it looks like
the regular VR mask, but it has like three crazy
ass prongs in the front of a tristeretops, each one
(39:20):
of again and each under the horns. They have a
bomb in there because when the dude designed his wild ship,
initially he wanted a projectile, so like like a nail
or something in there, but he was like, he couldn't
figure out how to get the nail to work, so
I just put a bomb instead, like that a nail
apparently wouldn't with misfire, so he's like, I just putn't explosive,
(39:42):
a small missile right in front of your face. We're
going to play this for money, that's what it was
inspired by a game called sword Art Online. It's a
it's a it's an anime about these people who forced
to play this VR game and if you die in
(40:03):
the game, you die in real life until there's a winner.
And this is what's the Korean joint that was on Netflix.
Were game, squid game. This is a squid game, squid game.
This is Running Man. This is all those you know
movies from way back in the day where you know,
somebody push you in something and you got to control
on Russell Crowe and gamer another one just like that
(40:25):
where you know, somebody controlled this dude and you know
if you if you died in the game, they came
a scoop tri up and killed the controller as well.
Like you know what this is gonna turn into. It's
just gonna be something where they're just gonna use death
row inmate to use and then let them do this
as a way to maybe get their commuter to like
that movie. Um, did you'll ever see death Row game show?
(40:47):
In the eighties, it was a bizarro horror conomy and
death Row Game show was it was? It was this
show here it is thank you. Ronda uh Chuck is
the host of a game show featuring Death Row convicts
competing in life or death contests in hopes of cheating
(41:09):
the executioner and winning prizes, including their freedom. In all
that move, I'm saying, like that is John Riddters stay tuned.
Where they were playing, where they were trying to get
it was stuck in the TV shows and hal trying
to get back there, trying to get out. I remember
(41:31):
the Death Row game show. There was a game that
they played with this one motherfucker and they put him
in a chair but naked, and then they put like
an electrical cup over his dick. Like it wasn't touching
his body, but this is like an electrical cup over
his dick. And then they brought out a woman and
made him take a top off so if his dick
(41:52):
got hard, he wow, he ha seen a woman in
nineteen years with the Dragon Quest Puff Puff Real Life
(42:26):
VR headset. What else we come for the people? This
is terrible. Well, Stormy Daniels is back in the news.
Um damn that don't remember porn star slash stripper who
became a stand up comedian and embroiled in a lawsuit
with President Donald Trump. A few years back, Uh says
(42:50):
to her two hundred year old New Orleans house that
she recently moved into, it is hunting and it ruined
her relationship. I could believe that. I believe in ghosts.
I told you all that ghost story one time. I
(43:12):
can believe. Like when people talk about ghosts like that,
I'm like, yeah, yeah, what what's your ghost story? What
happened to you? I didn't tell you about the time
I was trying to have sex with this lady and
I kept getting Charlie horses and couldn't do it. The
stories always started the ghosts in the right Never, I
(43:35):
never told you this story. Never. I need to know
about the ghost that was donkey punching you while you
were trying to have sex. But I'm on the way
about Dosta, and I'm trying to get it and make
a quick pit stopping making the holts someone and uh
the middle of the day, you know, with a little
(43:56):
little day action after that, and I start trying to
hit it and I get like a sharp Charlie horse,
and I try to hit it again, like let's move
this angle, and then I get another Charlie horse. And
then as I'm like trying to get I'm like, fine,
just lay on your back, let's do it this way.
And then I distinctly and I fucking know what I heard,
(44:17):
and I heard her say stop. So I stopped. I
go put my clothes on, and then she goes, uh,
can I ask you a question? If we wasn't gonna
have sex, why the fund did you come over here
and waste my time? And I go, you said stop?
She go, I didn't say, Scott. I go, well, who
the funk? Says blocked by ghost. But at this point,
(44:45):
it's like her kids are coming home in two minutes.
I gotta get the funk out. The kids can see,
so I gotta get out of the house right They're
coming on from the school buses. Been in the corner
in the hallway. There's a photograph of her, her kids
and this man. I go, well, who's that man? She goes, oh, yeah,
that's my husband. He died eight months ago. And I'm like, oh, well,
(45:08):
that's who told me stop. You know was in there
playing goalie on the box, be fucking you up with
the six. Stop playing I've never. I've never before that
and never since that. Never had a Charlie Horse in
the act of four plane. That's that's my goal to
move always fake with Charlie Horse. When the pussy wack
(45:35):
faker crap, I think that's a good place to stop.
That's a good place to stop right there. Uh, the
podcast is Uncle Roster. I'm just shaking her head in Shane, No, no, no,
it's not shame. I'm just glad we stopped talking about
death row because got you gotta go on this show
with the dude John whatever the funk who like talks
(45:56):
to the medium. Dude talk to the ghost with me.
You gotta get they have a sit there between you
and this lateist decease husband. It was we That is
fucking hilarious. Border you in the afterlife to be worried
(46:19):
about who your woman? Eight months? Only eight months we
talk to your ancestors. One other thing, Nikki a listener.
She wants you to talk to the ghost brothers now
that you've brought all of this up. She sent in
(46:40):
an email so I would tell him, NICKI. So there
it is. That's a great television show. Black Dudes Investigating
paranormal discurbances. Yeah, they want to and everything. Man, take them,
take them back to the old girl house that make
it to see me? That is, let's get her on
(47:02):
the show. And asked her if that how many times
that happened? That is, we're trying to contact the dead
husband of a woman I tried to have sex with
once the ghost brothers to see if like that was
th last thinking that happened to her house. That was
the real comedy, rod is that she hit me back
(47:23):
like a week later, so we're gonna run it back.
I'm like, no, your man has commitment issues. You can't
let go. You can't like oh Patrick Swayzy floating around
(47:43):
and still chasing her here, Man, what's up? I can't
believe I never told you all to Charlie ghost story.
You know what we weren't you about time to get
back to court. Now we gotta take a break and
they just come back to Corey to end the show
(48:05):
and do scam and we just gotta wrote it up
in one burrito. It's just too much. But what about
seeing a happy birthday to you know, we're not even
bringing up No, I'm not gonna do that. We just
story about it. Scott blocking me while I was trying
to have sex. Jacklin, I don't, I'm not. I'm not
in the move. Do you have my birthday job? We'll
(48:28):
be right back job Fair. We're still talking to Corey now.
We're talking about crime scene investigation, and we've gotten into
why you chose to do this, the ins and out
to the job. Now before we talk to people about
the skill sets that they need if they want to
(48:49):
pursue this as well, I think it's important to remember
also there that you know, first off, how the fund
did you get a job from crime scene clean up?
Where was that job list? It? Good question. So my
best friend and I were watching videos about how to
make money, and um, we saw a video about how
(49:12):
much money there was in crime scene clean up. We
literally had a company for a flat out month and um,
it was a hoarder job. It was. We We went
and did a horder job for this woman that was
all the way on Leesburg, Virginia, and the smell alone,
like we thought two or three people that died in
the house. There were cats, there was there was all
kind of other rodents. We didn't finish the house in short,
(49:34):
is what I'm trying to say we we we walked away,
we were gone. Corey. Is there every scenario where you
walk up to something like that as a cside, is
it your job just go, well, were no crime here,
good luck, clean up motherfucker's or did you have to
properly clear scene and look at everything and then make
the determination based on lab findings and clues and all
(49:56):
of that that there was no foul play and then
you move on to the next job. Yeah, we're called ucing.
We're pretty much working it through and through. I mean
we do get called to natural deaths that might have
some suspicious aspect to it. Um. We work you know,
all suicides because if they might have some suspicious aspect
to them, potentially, um, anything that's suspected to be drug
(50:20):
related will work. Um. So it's more than just you know,
even on the death side, it's more than just murders. Um.
And we work them all, you know through, just in
case because you never know, um, what could potentially pop
up in the future, even like um, bad assaults or
stabbings or shootings that don't result in death. Yeah, we're
(50:43):
working them you know through, like it could be potentially
a murder because eventually it could be do you carry
a weapon? I do not. I am a complete civilian employee. Really,
so what if they circle back glory? You know those
people I don't know the name of it, but there
are those people see this on TV. There are those
people who enjoyed the crime scene. They do. It's a
(51:05):
name for them, and there's sometimes the person who did it.
I'm never on scene without a deputy or somebody there
keep in security. Um. And if they're not there, I'm
not there. So when I get to a scene, my
worries about that physical crime scene. I don't care what
people are saying. I don't care what people think happened.
(51:29):
My job is to be there, look at the crime scene,
look at what's there and what could be potentially evidence.
What you know could be potentially related to this crime,
what could not be related to this crime, What could
point us in a direction? Um? So you know, while
you know people are like, oh, so I saw this
(51:50):
so and so like for me, I don't want to
hear any of that. I don't want to know what
people think happened. I want to be unbiased going in
a crime scene so I can look at it and say,
all right, according to the physical evidence and the physical
evidence only this is what could have or this is
what could not have happened. And then the detective can
(52:11):
come to me and go, hey, I have a witness
that's saying this, or hey we have a suspect that
says this is what happened. UM, And then I can
be like, yeah, that actually lines up with what the
physical evidence tells me. Where I can be like no, no, no,
that doesn't make any sense compared to like this crime
scene I'm looking at. UM. So we're part of the puzzle. UM.
And then like where I work, we can do certain
(52:33):
lab things, so you know, we can assist in digital
forensics or fingerprints, UM. And then past that we know
what needs to be sent for d NA or what
needs to be sent for drug chemistry and stuff like that,
so we helped make these decisions. UM. So it's really
us with the detectives kind of working side by side
(52:53):
to make sure it's getting looked at accurately and correctly.
Have you ever had to test defy and if so,
how did that go? I have? UM, It's not as
glorious as to look. It's it's it's a lot of
(53:15):
being asked the same questions over and over again, and
trying not to get frustrated that you're being asked the
same questions over and over again. I'm curious about what
has pricked your heart. This has become procedural for you.
You see a dead body every two, three, four days.
(53:36):
But what has been that case or that scene that
you showed up and you were like, man, this is
a hard one for me. It's anything with kids. Even
before I had kids, Um, it was one of those
things where it always kind of bother me a little bit. Um.
I have one. It was the first suicide I've ever worked,
(53:57):
and it was a teenager and like to to stay,
I can still go walk through that entire house and
tell you everything about that scene. UM. And it's just
something that kind of sticks with you. And I feel
like everyone that does this job has that case or
those couple of cases. UM. But it's definitely, you know,
you've got to kind of find that mindset of all right,
(54:18):
I'm doing a job, um, and I'm here, I'm here
for a reason, and I'm here because I'm trying to,
you know, provide some kind of closure or provides answers
or something. UM. But there's definitely cases that kind of
get at you a little bit, um, but it's hard
not to when you're doing a job like this. How
(54:39):
how is evidence tampa with a contaminated or compromised? Like,
what are the different ways? What are the mistakes that
could be honestly made by a c s I tick
that could funk up the prosecutor's case in a particular situation,
even if it's an honest mistake, Like, what are the
thing that could go wrong from the time that at
(55:03):
the crime scene and you go get it to the
lab and then you put it in the box, and
then it goes to the evidence room and sits in
a paperbag like on every cop show, and then that's
the bag that comes to the court room foot So
how can things be funked up on your side that
could then allow someone to walk free? Really, I mean
(55:26):
it's kind of not an answer, but it is an
answer that the biggest thing you could do is just
not collect something or miss something because past that, you know,
if you know, you leave DNA and contaminate, I mean,
if you contaminate like if you're I don't know, Hawkabaluian
sput it any on the evidence, then yeah, But like
most of the DNA most of the you know we're
(55:49):
gonna be contaminating. If you can send an elimination standard
and it's gonna be then it's gonna be able to
kind of worked around, and of course something's gonna be
thrown in the defense attorney is going to use that
against you. Um. Really, the biggest thing that could probably
is a is a lapse in chain of custody, So
chain of custody documents every single person who has that
(56:12):
or where that item of events is at every single
moment of from the moment it's collected from till the
moment it ends up in court. And really the biggest
issues you see are there being some kind of gap
in that or some kind of where it's suddenly with
one person, then all of a sudden there's another person's
name on it and there's no how it got transferred
to that person. Um. That's where you kind of used
(56:35):
to see. But anymore are all of our evidence, like
when we send it to the lab has like tags
on it that gets scanned. Um. Someplace you even have
when you leave a room with a piece of itemodients,
it automatically scans it. UM. So the biggest thing I
guess would be that. But past that type the way
technologies come, it's so hard to mess that up, and
(57:00):
we're trained so well then I mean, you just it's
if you're messing something up, you've done something pretty wrong.
What is a promotion that like in this job? Like
do you just get to wear regular clothes and point
to all the people in the lamp suit like like
like have you what's the chain of command? Like because
(57:21):
your c side now, which means you're they're smelling all
to the hoarders. But do you eventually get to be
hit medical examin like where does this go? Or where
would you like for it to go? Or do you
just like being in this ship? I mean sometimes it
like just being the ship. Um So, but I mean
there is That's one of the things about this job
(57:42):
is depending on where you work, there is nowhere to
go but to like a supervisor, a crime scene supervisor
that's still doing the same job just as a supervisor. Um.
What I like about where I work is I actually,
since I've started, I've taken on, um some work as
in some digital forensics, so cell phone forensics basically. Um
(58:03):
So that's kind of how I've further along my career
a little bit. Um. It's not necessarily I'm going to
be a big time supervisor whatever, um, but I've kind
of you know, I've added I've advanced my career, and
we have pretty good, um opportunities to get compensated with
additional pay as we get more stuff like that. Um.
(58:26):
So that's kind of how I look at advancing my career.
You know, I'm still I'm still a crime scene investigator,
but I'm just adding stuff to my my repertoire. For
people that want to get into this line of work,
what is the path that they should be looking at?
Where they are, you know, their particular courses they should
focus on. Do they just show up to crime scene
place with they with they slow shuffle, I'm ready to
(58:47):
do what they just being like former seasons? Can they
be in seasons and just started working. Can I watch
c S in Miami and put my shades and then
go yeah. I mean, there are lots of people that
think they can watch c S I Miami and then
do my job. But I mean, the best way to
(59:11):
get in this field is pretty much anymore of the
standard is a bachelor's degree in some kind of science,
whether it's forensic science, chemistry, biology, some of that nature
pretty much anymore because it's a very popular field because
of the whole c s I effect thing. Um, you know,
we're we're a fairly small agency and we're still getting
(59:31):
two applicants for open positions. That's crucial. So the job
market is honestly at this point very saturated. So I
always tell people that I say, I want to get
in this field, what do I do? Find something that
makes you stand out. Everyone's gonna have a bachelor's degree.
Everyone's going to have even there's gonna be a lot
of people the master's degree. The best thing I can
(59:52):
tell people to do is go get an internship. One
it gives you hands on experience working with people who
do the job. And the other the thing is, is
it make sure that you can do this job. Because
there are people that think they're going to be a
c s I until day two of being a c
s I, um, and then they no longer want to
be a c s I because they can't handle a
(01:00:14):
dead body. There's too much totally me couldn't handle it
for ship. You're right, agreed, I mean, it's definitely, it's
definitely a field that we see a lot of turnover. One.
We're talking a little bit before about burnout. Um, people
get burnt out after two or three years of nothing
but death and crime. And I mean it's go, go,
go go sometimes. Um, So definitely, you know, making sure
(01:00:38):
it's something you can do because you don't want to
spend four years get a degree or six years getting
masters and then show up and be like, oh yeah,
I don't want to do this anymore. What about the money, Cory,
the money? Is it worth it to me? It is? Well?
Coin it down South Georgia girl average for crime scene investigated,
(01:00:59):
Thank you, bok. I got fifty six thousand dollars around
seven to twenty eight dollars. Okay, I don't know if
that's start, but that's the national average. Apparently there's a
couple of cities. There's a couple of cities in this range.
At j G make a hundred and two thousand dollars.
You've got to be doing to two bodies of what
you got to look at their Yeah, the money ain't that.
(01:01:24):
It's not something you're gonna get rich off of. What's
I mean it's your public employee or a government employee.
I mean you're not. That's true. You're not going out
and getting rich off the job. Eventually, if you want
to get into the private sector of things, you might
have a little more sector. But you know, working for
a local or state or even federal government, you can
(01:01:47):
make a living. It's a comfortable living. Um. But wait,
you just opened another door private sector. Who's coming from
the private sector? Okay, what you can't talk to him
about that that might him killed. I don't understand a
g They that's the you know, those are the people
who call you in the middle of the night and
(01:02:09):
be like coming in my car and and pick up
this body and we're just gonna pay you in CAD.
I don't understand Corey Farmers, Jacqueline. Most of the private
sector is like just consulting. Um, there's a lot, especially
on the digital side, like all like your like your
banks and your making major companies, they all have they
(01:02:31):
all have people. So that's mainly what it is. And
there's a lot more money. Okay, I just thought somebody
else was showing up to the crime scene with you,
But like this person is rich, so now we've got
to really look at this. Okay, Well, we appreciate you
from coming on the show and sharing this piece of
your works extremely interesting. You are part of the reason
(01:02:54):
why this is the podcast of the people. We don't
deal with a lot of celebrities because folks like you
were giving us a slice of your life. I will
end with this last question. I want you to be honest.
You're both listening to this podcast when you see them dead,
but you should you take the cash out a bit
(01:03:16):
of come on course. See, that's why we do background
checks on people on this job. Thank you for coming
on the job. Appreciate you. That's the show, Roy's job.
(01:03:36):
First product of I Hied Media, South Park and Press Productions.
Um Jaquelin, Fine, my birthday is coming up. I will
allow you now to sing a couple of bars a
happy birthday, the regular version, not to Stevie wonder Win
that we don't have the rights to go exactly her.
(01:03:59):
Mike just that out, just now doing that, just because
you listening. I didn't hang up in Jacqueline's face, because
that was horrible. The Internet chose for me. The Internet
made the decision for us. And that is why I
don't want my friends singing happy birthday to me, because
(01:04:19):
I'm trying to protect them, trying to protect your ass.
It is the holidays. This is your last chance, your
last chance to be a part of Rock's Relationship Fair.
The new one's coming up next week's episode. Royce job
fair at gmail dot com. You've got some fucked up
sex that's going on at work. T J. Holmes, come
(01:04:39):
on down. You are an inspiration and you're someone that
I've looked up to for years. But this show is
about employment. Next week is about sucking on the job.
Wait not, hang on, don't do it, slander, don't stop
throwing in arrant trashes. Just people who are my slemander
(01:05:02):
because they did what tell me? Oh okay, save it
for next week, Joe next okay, cooler will right tell
you why you're all Every Birthday that's the show. Happy birthday. Really,
this has been a Comedy Central podcast
You're listening to Comedy Central. That World Cup about to
come to an end, Ralph It's been a good one
to come to and then you've enjoyed it. Man, this
Corruption Cup has been the best shift I've ever seen. Man,
you know how much money I made in the Corruption Cup.
Corruption Cup has been killing bread. It's amazing. I don't
like seeing them African nations get their asswhoop like this
(00:21):
against these European countries. Personally, I like seeing certain countries
go home earlier, like Germany. So you know, I mean
it worked out, it was it was good. It's so
far it's been good. Well, if you need somewhere to
go and j G, I know you was just over
there in the Middle East, so this, this job opening
might be for you. Now. In spite of everything that's
(00:43):
going on with the World Cup, apparently they are still
job openings available. What the hell is going on in Cota.
They need an anesthesia technician, they need an epidemiologist, and
they need a psychologist. He's all available. And indeed, now look,
any one of these jobs by themselves being available, I
(01:06):
would not think anything of it. When you see these
three jobs all side by side, What the fun is
going on on the other side of this World Cup again,
an epidemiologist, a psychologist, and a special education technician COVID
still running while over there bank one person. We got
(01:32):
three openings. They better be glad that the World Cup
wouldn't in China because they have just locked everybody in
the country to tun for China. Human right to be
a struggle day. This is my job. Don't get a
(02:16):
little creepy today. UM. I'm blessing the dead as you're
looking in your episode description as episode is titled God
Bless the Dead. This is about occupations that involved people
who are charged with telling the stories of those who
have passed on. Don't talk about the crime scene investigator
(02:36):
to see what all that did. Body ship just liking
if that ship is really as sexy as they make
a scene on CBS. I'm telling y'all right now. UM,
you know, when I died, let niggas put all on
my here your Jacqueline again. Whenever I talk about my death,
(02:59):
she on one, she on here that ship life JJ.
When I die, I need you to not let these
niggas put up bullshit clips of me from the comedy clubs.
As soon as I gonna put all the suit Roy clips,
all the suits, all the sum saying the extra big
suits too, like the Harvey suits. The Harvey suits. Yeah,
(03:23):
I released prank calls. You're right there. Where what I'm
getting to right the fact that because here's what happens
at a lot of comedy clubs. They record the show
for that night on a wide frame, just for posterity,
just to have, and then they stored these tapes in
a vault. And then when the comedian dies, they go
(03:45):
rest in peace. And then they find the shittiest clip
from a Thursday night, from a joke that you never
even put on TV because you didn't believe in it,
and that's the clip they post online and go, Roy,
we always look Jacqueline, I want you to report those
accounts of spat okay, it ain't polish it from Comedy Central.
(04:08):
Don't you. Don't you let these shitty ask comedians post
that bullshit before you die? I mean, just because only
sneakers and jackets. Roy, it should be it should be
slow as plans of your slow pans on the kis.
(04:30):
That's all it needs to be. But I'm serious, and
I know you have but it is a very It
is a high honor to be charged with trying to
make sure that the dead are honored and true. You know,
there's other occupations we've got to get to in later
episodes when we revisit this subject. I'm talking about your
funeral home industries. Even motherfucker's forgot about you. Don't get
(04:55):
one of you all on the show. I'm on record
saying I ain't talking about the funeral director. They scared me. Bread,
I'm good man. Cats get real serious, real quick. Rat
can't do it, so Roy, that's Roy talking ship for
the record. When you come on, y'all touched it to you.
I don't sunk with people that ownt pig farms and
crematoriums on me. Real talk. Can't do funeral home ship.
That's some real ship. Man. My funker is coming to
(05:17):
funeral home and beat up the dead body. These gangs, yeah, oh,
Jaqueline drive through right. You can't even come in the
funeral home to pay your respects because the rival gang
will come in and remurder you. Oh no, yeah, drag
(05:38):
your body back out, dragged back into the street, shoot
the body up again. Yes, this this happens, and then
you know what happens The funeral home charges you would
give Oh my god, can body you even mother surgery?
Like we had to touch him up again? We gotta
(05:58):
right up again, right Yeah, Yeah, it's a it's a
very dangerous job, funeral home director. But you know, we'll
talk to the c s I kid and see what
that's like. Like can you get the finger can you
(06:21):
get the fingerprint with the superglue? You know, take this
back to the lab process this, take it back to
the lab. Some TV whenever they take some ship back
to the lab, no lab results come back quick as hell. Meanwhile,
I'm waiting four days for a fucking COVID test. That's
(06:41):
the biggest perfect tration by those shows is that data
base that everybody has access to. That the first one
days shown is like, no that the reel at all.
But we got two days before this ship gold forever
and we gotta drive to pick up fingerprints and ship
they get even faxed them samets. And women do not
(07:08):
wear those tight pants in the lab. Let's get that
out there too. How many fleeced into that whole thing
because they think women are in there with the body
dresses own. Yeah, I'm totally gonna be a frensic side
to look at way she dressed. Infection waiting to happen.
(07:29):
Stop that madness. Okay, well you know what, that's people
like bread. We can try and fix that. Open this microphone.
It's my fault. Let's start before we go down the
(07:52):
wrong road. It's time now for Cody's most Outstanding Employee
of the week. So we just had an election not
too long ago, little earlier hearing McRib Awareness Month, and
that is not a real thing. Now, I just shut shut.
(08:12):
I just think that you're disrespecting my people, and I
just don't understand why me and my fellow mcribigins have
to be subjective to this level. I got my earlier
this year because I was at wy Women. They came
back like two weeks earlier. Woman get it. They had
a handwritten side in that busal bag and they're like
two days later there was announcement that the McRib was hit.
(08:36):
In two weeks. That's gonna be a very small part
of your museum. It's just gonna say mcgrib and we're
gonna keep moving. So Initiative A D two in Washington,
d C. Was a very contentious initiative. Originally was struck
(08:56):
down two years ago. Um, cooler heads to prevail people
campaign the right way. Um. You know, when the initiative
was originally passed, city council was polluted and poisoned by
corporate entities that forced them to rescind the law. But
(09:19):
now voters spoke up and in Washington, d C. Restaurant
workers will receive a huge wage which now outlaws sub
minimum wage for tip workers. Instead, they'll get full minimum
wage plus tips on top. Congratulations to all the service
(09:40):
industry folks out there in Washington, d C. I'm sure
our good friend Chef Rock from the Food Glorious Food
episode of somewhere crying because you got to pay them
his website and he pays fifteen dollars or more per person.
That was automatically all ready. I think he was a
(10:01):
good remember. I remember on tape, he was on tape
saying that he believed that you needed to pay people
more for the jobs that they do. So he was
actually he was actually all about this one here. Bro.
He was on point with that, and he's sustainable, so
all of the things in the restaurant they can compose recycle. Oh.
I looked him up before somebody gonna come talk to
me about food, and he was googling. He was googling
(10:23):
chef right, I was googling because I need to know
if he can cook for real. Oh, so he can
cook for you. Oh we got jokes shots fired, trying
to decide that we need to get her yacht to
be a middleman to get over the dec you know,
sound pretty good. She was the one talking to him
about the glazing and all this. Since you tell me
(10:45):
I got to learn to be arrogant number one, I
don't need a middleman. Let's start there. Why don't you
return you need to learn to be number two. I'm
not interested, chef. Let's just be clear about Yeah, just
the thing. Um, here's my concern. Do you think once
the general public knows that they're getting full minimum wage,
(11:09):
will they tip less? Because you're incentivized to tip twenty
five and because you know they ain't making nothing, you
know they're gonna put some fat in all and you
got damn shrimp. But now, well, you know you'd be
rude to an employee. You know they put them pupil
cash and your ship you got, you got, you gotta
be in your water. It's this is initiative two net
(11:34):
positive or net negative for servers. It's gonna be that
positive for the money they make in general. But when
it comes to tips, the tips are gonna go down.
It's gonna be like you, like, in Europe, they you know,
you don't tip because they pay restaurant workers a proper
wage and you're encouraged to not tip. But for all
(11:59):
the Americans listening right now, like that's it's considered rude
and most European countries and people will look at you
very weird and call your ass out for trying to
leave a tip, like you're getting bearrassed for that really badly.
I don't I'm not sure. I'm not. Like I'm excited
(12:19):
and I'm happy for the workers, but I'm not initially going,
all right, everything's perfect. It's like, okay, well, what's the
I'm not going, what's the what's the ripple? Can't say
perfect and can't say perfect. I can't can't say perfect.
I mean, I don't know. I got a lot of
homies that still make a living in d C as bartenders,
as waiters, and you know these are the cats who
(12:40):
was also doing things on the side that could have
got them in the hell of a lot of trouble
just that they can make the rent. So you know,
then I feel like it's a hell of a kicker,
And you know, in the beginning, I kind of understand
what right it is saying too, but I kind of
feel like it's in the beginning so far as it's
definitely a net positive, you know, say that these castles
making a little bit more money, you know, I mean,
I think it's all the people who were against raising
(13:04):
their wages and we're talking about tips. Are the people
who are gonna stop tipping because now they're making fifteen
an hour, So they're gotta feel like this is the
trade off. I tipped you because anyway, but that but
that's what that's the next movement, and that in the
opposite side of that struggle is the people saying, why
(13:25):
should I tip now you're making fifteen hour, that's what
you wanted. Yeah, I think you should tip. I'm going
to continue to tip. I put it that way, like
tip I can watch. I tipped for selfish reason. I tipped,
well for a selfish reason. I tipped for a very
selfish reason. I don't want people to think black women
(13:48):
don't till so very well. Whether you bring the ketchups
that I asked yes, whether you bring that ketchup that
I asked for, I'm still going to tip you. Whether
I'm in the kitchen looking for my own mustard, I'm
gonna tip twenty. You're trying to bribe racist. I just
(14:09):
I can't take kind of like that to a degree.
I'm like, hey man, here's ten dollars. Please don't hate
niggas basically what you're saying, because sadly some of the
places that we all end up, we're the only people
that they see, and I just I feel like I'm
(14:30):
doing it for everybody sometimes. So I just have to
tell well, well, nonetheless for getting initiative two past and
getting yourself a little extra bread, and then what you
need to start doing. Also, DC service, you'all need to
start lying to say that that ship didn't past. No
nobody knows. Don't tell nobody for standing up for yourselves
(14:55):
and getting yourself up to full wage, getting yourself up
to minimum wage, which really still ain't ship. The biggest
scheme of things, uh, stand tall restaurant workers and don't
let these folks start working with your hours and making
your sections smaller and making making your section bigger, so
you have to cover more ground and then give worse service. Um,
(15:17):
so just just I'm happy for you, but watch for
the pendulum to swing the other way and just keep
your eyes open. But in the interim, you all are
most outstanding employee of the week, brought to you Queen
Mother fried Chicken, the best talking, the best fried chicken
(15:37):
on earth, according to ship Talking Ass shear Frock. Okay, dude,
did talk a lot of it about this ship that's
got damn chicken so good, all right, worse from first time. Oh,
I gotta get you know what they're We gotta give
a salute old book of Hyak. You know she to
(16:00):
see the stuff the knees who gave her y'all a
mission a couple of months ago. Because you know, some
of these more unique careers that we have on this show,
it takes a minute to book. You just can't get
interesting people with interesting jobs to always say yes. And
so we told, oh, yeah, we wanted to do a
death episode. We wanted to get somebody on crime scene investigation.
(16:23):
And nonetheless, um, we have somebody that was willing to
come on and talk to us about the world of
crime scene investigation, and the more questions we had, the
longer the document got. And I just think we need
to settle in for this brother, with this brother for
as long as we can, because we had nobody else's
dead body suit from Mississippi who we had on and
(16:47):
you don't the world of dead bodies. We don't get
offed on this show. It's it's it's some kind of world. Yeah,
it's but it's a lot of money in that world
because people are it's always inventory o people are. Yeah.
I mean I don't know about a whole lot of money.
There's a whole lot of dying. J G. Who do
we have on the phone? You heard him already. It's
(17:09):
Corey from North Carolina and he's a crime scene investigator,
one of the first people called to the scene of
the crime actually, and he'll be talking with the roy
about how he got into the field, the many aspects
of the job, and also what can go wrong, what
can go right, and advice for those looking to break
(17:31):
into the field. Hello, Corey, how's it going now? I
would imagine you really ain't there in the crime in
progress the crime has concluded. My goal is to be
as far away until the crime has concluded. Okay, I
don't I don't even know where to go for Let's
(17:52):
just start with your path into this world. You know,
it is gory, it is viscerule. I would imagin aagine
that you've had to create some sort of mental barriers
to keep this ship from permeating into your psyche so
you can still be your loving father and husband and
all of that other normal people ship. But when did
(18:13):
you When did you just look at this job and go, yeah,
I can do that. What is that? Three people shot
and killed? Yeah? I can come clean that up right quick.
What happened over all? Look cocaine and mother missing? Yeah,
and I can check for the clues. Yeah, was that?
And dog miss somebody in the pole? We gotta see
which way the dog went to find the people that
(18:35):
the dog? Yeah, I can do that. How do you
get to that place? Because this ain't one of them
jobs to get invited to career day? How many career
days you've been you've been invited to career days. I
actually do go into like all the local high schools
and talk about the job. Really it's for the forensic
science class they have. That's all right, But Honestly, I've
kind of gotten this. I wanted to do this in
(18:57):
high school myself. UM. Sorry, kind of weird, but I was.
I don't think it's that weird because the one thing
that the one thing that dead body Suit told us
that I really appreciated was that she has an opportunity
as a medical examiner. She was a medal, she wouldn't
see as she was. She's a medical examiner. She's an
(19:17):
opportunity to tell the story of this person through medicine
and through science and be able to connect the dots
and hopefully answer questions for the living that she gets
to speak for the dead. Yeah, I mean mine was
kinda I always like to ask, like the Friends of aspect,
(19:37):
I actually started well and then started I finished both
my Paschelor's and Masters in Friends of Chemistry, so I
was kind of on the working in a drug ken
lab or toxicology lab or something like that. UM before
my senior year undergrad, I actually got the chance to
intern with n c I s UM really and that's
(20:01):
what actually put me out. I got out on the
field and got to see a lot, and that's when
I was like, you know what, I actually kind of
like this being out on the field, being on scenes,
being you know, in some of the action. Um. So
I kind of went to grad school on the mindset
of I want to do ce side, Um, I want
to Penn State. So um, I got a lot of
(20:23):
experience there like that, Like you know, I'm not man,
not man represents are I think it's important to denote
with your occupation. You know, we're talking about a crime
scene investigator. It's not just blood and gore. It's also
breaking into car accidental, could be a missing person and
the borders. You know, yeah, also murder and stuff like that.
(20:45):
But you know, we talk about everything that goes on
with that job. You know, you have a job that's
been portrayed on television for i'd say about twenty years now.
If we go back to the original recipe C sid
Las Vegas, what does TV get right and all the
bat because there's a lot of get that to the lab, Yeah,
on all of them show, every every show, get that
(21:05):
to the lab. What do you get take a picture
of that? Put one in the little yellow numbers beside it.
I mean they get that part right, taking the picture,
They get that right? I mean, really, TV, I mean
I always talking to go into like high school classes.
I'm saying, you know, yeah, TV shows you the murders,
they show you the fun stuff, they show you the
(21:27):
interesting stuff, but what they don't show you is that
seven percent of his job is working breakings are working
stoe you know, recover stong, vehicles are working the other
you know, stuff that's not going to be on CSI.
Miami had a clock on Tuesday, Like, you're not going
to see it because it's not always that interesting. Um.
I mean, you're not walking in the parties field with
(21:47):
coked out strippers and naked on the floor who ode
because they're partying too much with Wow. You know, it
doesn't happen. I've ever seen that, now, damn it. And
in real life, do the women actually wear the skinny
black pants? Women wear the same thing. I wear B
d U s and a T shirt. Okay, thank you,
(22:09):
we're tansens and no, we wear stuff that can get
dirty and you know, bloody and brain matter and whatever
else we're going to be dealing with that day. Because
on the movies and in the television shows they have
on wedge heels and the pants that hit at the
point and I'm like this is crazy perfectly tailor Yes,
(22:30):
you cannot do this job and no wedge heels. I
can tell you that, thank you, because you know with
what they do on television, clearly you have characters doing
multiple things I would assume which is not the truth.
Like this is the photographer also going back to the
lab to develop the the person that pulled the fingerprint
(22:51):
also going back to the little fingerprint glass hut to
put in the superglue fumes to pull the print. Like
what about that is that is legit? Can you pull
the fingerprints off all of the ship? Corey kind of?
And so some places you're going to have people that
are gonna have afferent jobs. When you go to a
major city, um, you're gonna have separate people that are
(23:11):
doing all the separate jobs. Where I work, we're a
little bit smaller, and so we do a little bit
more so we do some of our c s. I
S do also do all the late fingerprint stuff. Um.
So they are the ones that are working crime scenes,
lifting fingerprints and then going back to the lab and
actually analyzing the fingerprint to see if it's an identification
on the person or if it's not. Um So, really
(23:35):
you will see that, but you're never going to see
the person that's doing all that, also interrogating a suspect,
also making an arrest, also doing whatever else. Those are
usually where the separation is made. You don't get to
run people down. I'm okay, you don't get to run
people down now, I'm good without that. How did your
relationship with the concept of death change once you started
(23:59):
working this up? Just because in terms of your psyche,
how does this job affect your psycho to see all
of that? Units talked about burnout not too long ago.
We talked about newsrooms, Like you get stretched out in
the newsroom reading about the bad things. Your job is
to go and make sure that the criminals are brought
to justice by collecting clues at the scene where the
(24:21):
bad thing happened. How is that? How is your relationship
with death, you know changed over the years. It's definitely
gotten different, um and it's one of it. It's hard
to describe, Like death to me is just kind of
like another It's like part of everyday life. I was
I was trying to actually explain this recently, and I
(24:43):
kind of went like I had to realize that not
everyone sees us every day. I was like, yeah, so
most people see death once every couple of years with
someone like close to them. Um, so they're really only
involved in it once every years or unfortunate circumstances, maybe
a few more. For me, it's once every couple of days,
(25:07):
once four or five times a week. Um, that's scary, man.
I did I did crime scene um, crime scene clean
up for all of a month. I couldn't take it.
And it wasn't the deaf things for me. It was
the hoarder thing. What what's some of the what's the
worst one you've seen? Like, it is the death stuff
(25:27):
worse than the than the hoarding worst is like I
don't know, somebody who's got a dog pin of ancient Like,
what's the worst that you've seen so far? Yeah, honestly,
kind of going along with the hoarder thing. Um, people
that are somewhat hoarders and then aren't found for a
couple of months, that's when it gets a little raunchy. Um. Yeah,
(25:52):
I've seen some things. Um, I've seen people that haven't
been found for like four or five months, and by
that point it's it's not exactly pretty. And honestly, those
are worse than the murders, because like the murders, it's
like whatever, there's a little blood and maybe some brain matter,
(26:13):
But when you need a snow shovel to pick somebody
up because they've just used everywhere, it's that's honestly the
worst stuff for me is that Monton Monton Monts. That's
just like when I lived in l A And didn't
have a fridge. Came home one day and they were
roaches everywhere, and when I when my landlord came running
(26:34):
up to me, he was like, oh, by the way,
you're getting a couple of months free rent. I was like,
that's cool, but why are there roaches everywhere? I ain't
got no damn fridge. Come find out the dude that
lived in the apartment above me was dead and had
been dead for almost three or four months, and people
didn't know. And when they went and checked in on them,
because you know, everything had been compact and closed for
three months, when they opened the door and the roaches
(26:56):
spread out and all that kind of stuff, it literally
impacted the entire place. And the smell was gone awful,
like it was unreal. The sights are what they are,
but the smell that that you can't get past. That sometimes,
and it's one of those things that you'll be like
later that day, you'll be like sitting there and you're
still kind of smelling, and you're just like, what wise. No,
(27:18):
I've heard that some detectives actually smoke because of the smell.
Do you smoke or and like I'm talking about cigars
or something that's pretty heavy to get that smell away. No,
just really are really to take it to the head.
Give me that rigging mortis straight to the head. There
(27:44):
are people that use like vix vapor rub on their
own lip, but I found that just smell and salt.
Then you just smell vix and dycomp So it's I
don't know, but how much of this still But and
it's important to make this dis action here because crime
scene cleanup is its own thing and is noble. But
(28:07):
your job, let's not forget this. You operate as an
extension of law enforcement to find clues that helps solve
a crime or determined that a crime did not happen.
After the break, I want to talk with you a
little bit more about what it takes to do this job.
And we need some advice from you, Corey on people
who want to get into the Do you like smelling
(28:27):
dead bodies? Do you like coming home thinking like criminals?
But you motherfucking helped the police catch that motherfucker. And
what at the time it will be breaking to see us.
It's the job fair. We'll be right back, job fair. Uh,
(28:53):
Scam of the week standing by with Corey crime scene
investigation analysts and see if there's some scams caring on
the bed. But if you can just steal stuff up
like you know what I'd have been tempted to do
back in the day, j G. I crime scene dead buddy,
don't hit that credit card one more time? Then I
(29:14):
bribed the corner to change the time of death till
tomorrow and make it seem like you did that. You know,
they're very competitive, those corners are very competitive. When they
hear that someone has died, they both show up with
those long wagons, Like three of them showed up at
the house one time. Aren't you supposed to get dispatched
from like the sheriff, like a we choose you come
(29:36):
get the body? How you put up ice cream like
a food truck? Your customers, unty, do you have your auntie?
Like a certain funeral home and they're gonna call and say,
my brother just died. Get on over here and your
other aunty like a certain funeral home. Boom, it's going down,
and they get their fast. Roy I've seen this, Okay,
(29:57):
you've seen it. Never mind they get their fasts. What
they gotta least scanner? Are they just listening for like
scanners too? Yeah? When I worked in television, I knew
all the codes. So yeah, dead body natural causes is
code for that too. If you're a corner, do you
just pull up and like sit around the corner from
(30:17):
ship where you think some ship goes like like like
the same way food trucks be stalking like like my
perfect example, when The Daily Show was in Atlanta, we
had audience lines that were three hours long by Tuesday,
all of them Atlanta hustlers that pulled up with a
hot dog cart, taco carts, and the Monday it was
(30:37):
butt naked. But once they saw all people gonna be
standing here. Cool. So if you're a corner and you
got your hurts, are you just out just like oh
it's a rap concert tonight. That's different down there? I
know where in those places you've got to be dispatched
(30:58):
by the people there's a dispatch that dispatches the city
corner of the places and ship. But I don't know
y'all Alabama down there doing the hunger games with dead
folks and corners as wow, boy, I've seen it. And
geogea to the mistress, call and corner somebody else calling.
We bring this man on the program every week. You've
(31:19):
heard him early already. He is the uncredited inventor of
the emotional support clue. It's been known to walk around
barefoot up there in Middle Tennessee and get a shock
or straight with the earth. He's undefeated and pregnancy scares
a lifetime record of forty three oh and two. And um.
(31:40):
If you're looking for a Christmas gift, ladies, go stand
outside and stand down when and put a little peanut
butter whiskey on your neck, and you will a pere
and give you a gift. Mama named Murdo. We call
him right for short. Rod. We're talking about these dead
bodies today, man, how we can honor and how we
can honor tell their story? Like you know, yeah, you
(32:04):
haven't seen a dead body rock several severn what about job? Wait, no,
you can't several multiple we're not talking funerals, right, We're
just talking just a dead body out in the wild. Yeah,
no funerals, no hospitals. Yeah, I've seen a bunch of
(32:26):
dead bodies. Why most I've seen three, and I don't
even like recanting those. How then are you seeing several
I'm from the like, not like a relative in the
house who's just passed. No, I'm talking about I'm talking
about Yeah, I'm talking about neggas that have been murdered.
So like freshly murdered bodies you've seen. Yeah, Yeah, I've
(32:49):
seen a lot of dead bodies. Why because I'm from
the hood. I'm from the hood. I ain't seen that
many dead bodies. I was outside, you want to say
that I was out sad. I just imagine Rod just
seeing like a dead body Jacqueline and then just to
fucking corners bend in the corner like a sucking fast
(33:15):
drifting that bitch and then hopping out this you bro?
Can I help you with all the time, all the
time I ever stayed around, you know, to see some
ship like that is like when niggas get killed in
public that it really ain't had nothing to do with
nothing I had going on I've seen that. I have
seen corners pull up like that. We bring right on
(33:36):
this program to give you topics, to give your co
workers that you hate chance to shut the funk up
for a little something amazing that you found out about
the world ride to turn it over to you. But listen,
I want to I want to touch your two things
real quick. The first one is Roy. He was talking
(34:01):
about to pull the credit cards somebody's and I just
like that. Roy's read one credit card scale and almost
went to prison for and he is still symbolical about it,
still like you don't be cool. You did that the
(34:21):
first time you did you got cold. You can't do
that though, I gotta get out this time, like boy
credit card like you already failed that. He didn't sound
(34:42):
like kid, And it sound like kid thought about it too, right,
like it was a sound like he got cold. He
was like, man, it was like if it was like
ninety eight, if it was like that, ain't that would
be an easy scale. You could at least got a
tank of gas off the But the second thing you
brought up, you brought up Christmas in my uh in
(35:05):
my intro and quick tip for the fellas a great
way to save money and get all your girls to
get that Christmas is by things for your main girl,
and then you get your side chicks the free with
purchase of you give them that shipt. So minute, now
you little Christmas tip for you. You fall off at
(35:29):
them all, they're like, hey, you spend fifty dollars, they
get one of these with free, and you spend fifty
on your girl and you get a little ashment scarf
to the side chicks. I have to give you that,
which I'm not aside anything, but I would tell you this,
I'm agreeing with you when it comes to saving money.
(35:51):
I hear you. I co signed on that one. Yeah,
there you go give it. You got your girlfriend in
the perfume saying, then you get the side check a
little travel bag that they give you for free with it. Yeah,
or go even bigger, break up the set, give one
the perfume, one the lotion, and one the bad thing
and put in the disrespectful to you can't do this.
(36:16):
You can't do your girl in side chicks. That's that's disrespectful.
It's disrespectful. It's disrespectful to have a side chick. It's disrespectful.
So I have a secondary, third, fifth woman. Yes it is,
it's just that's necessary. Whatever. But I'm with you on
saving money. I'll co sign on saving money. How do
I say this politely? I've worked for people who have
(36:41):
had wives, girlfriends, and a couple of other things going on.
I had to send gifts everybody. There you go. You
know That's why I know how to break this down
and remind them, Hey, your wife likes roses. She likes daffodils.
(37:04):
Before you walk out of here, there shouldn't be fun
with nobody that like daffodils. A number one sometimes talk
to the librarian. It'd be like that something, you know,
cat ladies love as alius. Let's give these people some
(37:31):
topics to bring up at the job. Brother, Well, uh,
these are very fascinated stories for both sets. The people
right off the bat Oculust co founder Palmer Lucky, who
was fired from Facebook after they acquired the Oculus VR company,
(37:54):
has continued to go off the deep end, and he
has created a new VR heads that that will kill
you in real life if you die in the game.
Into that ready player one world. Now it is time matrix.
(38:19):
If I die in the matrix, I die. Body cannot
live without the mind, and that is exactly what has
happened right now. He says, it's it's more an art
installation than a working concept. But he has built a
VR headset with tiny bombs inside attached to your name.
(38:40):
They will explode if they if the sensors pick up
a certain frequency of red light flashing on the game
over screen. And he says that this is the next
evolution of people wanting to attach themselves to their avatars
in reality and virtual reality. And now he's play those
(39:00):
games consequences. He skipped right over like orgasm sensors to murder,
right straight up murder. It's insane and it looks like
the regular VR mask, but it has like three crazy
ass prongs in the front of a tristeretops, each one
(39:20):
of again and each under the horns. They have a
bomb in there because when the dude designed his wild ship,
initially he wanted a projectile, so like like a nail
or something in there, but he was like, he couldn't
figure out how to get the nail to work, so
I just put a bomb instead, like that a nail
apparently wouldn't with misfire, so he's like, I just putn't explosive,
(39:42):
a small missile right in front of your face. We're
going to play this for money, that's what it was
inspired by a game called sword Art Online. It's a
it's a it's an anime about these people who forced
to play this VR game and if you die in
(40:03):
the game, you die in real life until there's a winner.
And this is what's the Korean joint that was on Netflix.
Were game, squid game. This is a squid game, squid game.
This is Running Man. This is all those you know
movies from way back in the day where you know,
somebody push you in something and you got to control
on Russell Crowe and gamer another one just like that
(40:25):
where you know, somebody controlled this dude and you know
if you if you died in the game, they came
a scoop tri up and killed the controller as well.
Like you know what this is gonna turn into. It's
just gonna be something where they're just gonna use death
row inmate to use and then let them do this
as a way to maybe get their commuter to like
that movie. Um, did you'll ever see death Row game show?
(40:47):
In the eighties, it was a bizarro horror conomy and
death Row Game show was it was? It was this
show here it is thank you. Ronda uh Chuck is
the host of a game show featuring Death Row convicts
competing in life or death contests in hopes of cheating
(41:09):
the executioner and winning prizes, including their freedom. In all
that move, I'm saying, like that is John Riddters stay tuned.
Where they were playing, where they were trying to get
it was stuck in the TV shows and hal trying
to get back there, trying to get out. I remember
(41:31):
the Death Row game show. There was a game that
they played with this one motherfucker and they put him
in a chair but naked, and then they put like
an electrical cup over his dick. Like it wasn't touching
his body, but this is like an electrical cup over
his dick. And then they brought out a woman and
made him take a top off so if his dick
(41:52):
got hard, he wow, he ha seen a woman in
nineteen years with the Dragon Quest Puff Puff Real Life
(42:26):
VR headset. What else we come for the people? This
is terrible. Well, Stormy Daniels is back in the news.
Um damn that don't remember porn star slash stripper who
became a stand up comedian and embroiled in a lawsuit
with President Donald Trump. A few years back, Uh says
(42:50):
to her two hundred year old New Orleans house that
she recently moved into, it is hunting and it ruined
her relationship. I could believe that. I believe in ghosts.
I told you all that ghost story one time. I
(43:12):
can believe. Like when people talk about ghosts like that,
I'm like, yeah, yeah, what what's your ghost story? What
happened to you? I didn't tell you about the time
I was trying to have sex with this lady and
I kept getting Charlie horses and couldn't do it. The
stories always started the ghosts in the right Never, I
(43:35):
never told you this story. Never. I need to know
about the ghost that was donkey punching you while you
were trying to have sex. But I'm on the way
about Dosta, and I'm trying to get it and make
a quick pit stopping making the holts someone and uh
the middle of the day, you know, with a little
(43:56):
little day action after that, and I start trying to
hit it and I get like a sharp Charlie horse,
and I try to hit it again, like let's move
this angle, and then I get another Charlie horse. And
then as I'm like trying to get I'm like, fine,
just lay on your back, let's do it this way.
And then I distinctly and I fucking know what I heard,
(44:17):
and I heard her say stop. So I stopped. I
go put my clothes on, and then she goes, uh,
can I ask you a question? If we wasn't gonna
have sex, why the fund did you come over here
and waste my time? And I go, you said stop?
She go, I didn't say, Scott. I go, well, who
the funk? Says blocked by ghost. But at this point,
(44:45):
it's like her kids are coming home in two minutes.
I gotta get the funk out. The kids can see,
so I gotta get out of the house right They're
coming on from the school buses. Been in the corner
in the hallway. There's a photograph of her, her kids
and this man. I go, well, who's that man? She goes, oh, yeah,
that's my husband. He died eight months ago. And I'm like, oh, well,
(45:08):
that's who told me stop. You know was in there
playing goalie on the box, be fucking you up with
the six. Stop playing I've never. I've never before that
and never since that. Never had a Charlie Horse in
the act of four plane. That's that's my goal to
move always fake with Charlie Horse. When the pussy wack
(45:35):
faker crap, I think that's a good place to stop.
That's a good place to stop right there. Uh, the
podcast is Uncle Roster. I'm just shaking her head in Shane, No, no, no,
it's not shame. I'm just glad we stopped talking about
death row because got you gotta go on this show
with the dude John whatever the funk who like talks
(45:56):
to the medium. Dude talk to the ghost with me.
You gotta get they have a sit there between you
and this lateist decease husband. It was we That is
fucking hilarious. Border you in the afterlife to be worried
(46:19):
about who your woman? Eight months? Only eight months we
talk to your ancestors. One other thing, Nikki a listener.
She wants you to talk to the ghost brothers now
that you've brought all of this up. She sent in
(46:40):
an email so I would tell him, NICKI. So there
it is. That's a great television show. Black Dudes Investigating
paranormal discurbances. Yeah, they want to and everything. Man, take them,
take them back to the old girl house that make
it to see me? That is, let's get her on
(47:02):
the show. And asked her if that how many times
that happened? That is, we're trying to contact the dead
husband of a woman I tried to have sex with
once the ghost brothers to see if like that was
th last thinking that happened to her house. That was
the real comedy, rod is that she hit me back
(47:23):
like a week later, so we're gonna run it back.
I'm like, no, your man has commitment issues. You can't
let go. You can't like oh Patrick Swayzy floating around
(47:43):
and still chasing her here, Man, what's up? I can't
believe I never told you all to Charlie ghost story.
You know what we weren't you about time to get
back to court. Now we gotta take a break and
they just come back to Corey to end the show
(48:05):
and do scam and we just gotta wrote it up
in one burrito. It's just too much. But what about
seeing a happy birthday to you know, we're not even
bringing up No, I'm not gonna do that. We just
story about it. Scott blocking me while I was trying
to have sex. Jacklin, I don't, I'm not. I'm not
in the move. Do you have my birthday job? We'll
(48:28):
be right back job Fair. We're still talking to Corey now.
We're talking about crime scene investigation, and we've gotten into
why you chose to do this, the ins and out
to the job. Now before we talk to people about
the skill sets that they need if they want to
(48:49):
pursue this as well, I think it's important to remember
also there that you know, first off, how the fund
did you get a job from crime scene clean up?
Where was that job list? It? Good question. So my
best friend and I were watching videos about how to
make money, and um, we saw a video about how
(49:12):
much money there was in crime scene clean up. We
literally had a company for a flat out month and um,
it was a hoarder job. It was. We We went
and did a horder job for this woman that was
all the way on Leesburg, Virginia, and the smell alone,
like we thought two or three people that died in
the house. There were cats, there was there was all
kind of other rodents. We didn't finish the house in short,
(49:34):
is what I'm trying to say we we we walked away,
we were gone. Corey. Is there every scenario where you
walk up to something like that as a cside, is
it your job just go, well, were no crime here,
good luck, clean up motherfucker's or did you have to
properly clear scene and look at everything and then make
the determination based on lab findings and clues and all
(49:56):
of that that there was no foul play and then
you move on to the next job. Yeah, we're called ucing.
We're pretty much working it through and through. I mean
we do get called to natural deaths that might have
some suspicious aspect to it. Um. We work you know,
all suicides because if they might have some suspicious aspect
to them, potentially, um, anything that's suspected to be drug
(50:20):
related will work. Um. So it's more than just you know,
even on the death side, it's more than just murders. Um.
And we work them all, you know through, just in
case because you never know, um, what could potentially pop
up in the future, even like um, bad assaults or
stabbings or shootings that don't result in death. Yeah, we're
(50:43):
working them you know through, like it could be potentially
a murder because eventually it could be do you carry
a weapon? I do not. I am a complete civilian employee. Really,
so what if they circle back glory? You know those
people I don't know the name of it, but there
are those people see this on TV. There are those
people who enjoyed the crime scene. They do. It's a
(51:05):
name for them, and there's sometimes the person who did it.
I'm never on scene without a deputy or somebody there
keep in security. Um. And if they're not there, I'm
not there. So when I get to a scene, my
worries about that physical crime scene. I don't care what
people are saying. I don't care what people think happened.
(51:29):
My job is to be there, look at the crime scene,
look at what's there and what could be potentially evidence.
What you know could be potentially related to this crime,
what could not be related to this crime, What could
point us in a direction? Um? So you know, while
you know people are like, oh, so I saw this
(51:50):
so and so like for me, I don't want to
hear any of that. I don't want to know what
people think happened. I want to be unbiased going in
a crime scene so I can look at it and say,
all right, according to the physical evidence and the physical
evidence only this is what could have or this is
what could not have happened. And then the detective can
(52:11):
come to me and go, hey, I have a witness
that's saying this, or hey we have a suspect that
says this is what happened. UM, And then I can
be like, yeah, that actually lines up with what the
physical evidence tells me. Where I can be like no, no, no,
that doesn't make any sense compared to like this crime
scene I'm looking at. UM. So we're part of the puzzle. UM.
And then like where I work, we can do certain
(52:33):
lab things, so you know, we can assist in digital
forensics or fingerprints, UM. And then past that we know
what needs to be sent for d NA or what
needs to be sent for drug chemistry and stuff like that,
so we helped make these decisions. UM. So it's really
us with the detectives kind of working side by side
(52:53):
to make sure it's getting looked at accurately and correctly.
Have you ever had to test defy and if so,
how did that go? I have? UM, It's not as
glorious as to look. It's it's it's a lot of
(53:15):
being asked the same questions over and over again, and
trying not to get frustrated that you're being asked the
same questions over and over again. I'm curious about what
has pricked your heart. This has become procedural for you.
You see a dead body every two, three, four days.
(53:36):
But what has been that case or that scene that
you showed up and you were like, man, this is
a hard one for me. It's anything with kids. Even
before I had kids, Um, it was one of those
things where it always kind of bother me a little bit. Um.
I have one. It was the first suicide I've ever worked,
(53:57):
and it was a teenager and like to to stay,
I can still go walk through that entire house and
tell you everything about that scene. UM. And it's just
something that kind of sticks with you. And I feel
like everyone that does this job has that case or
those couple of cases. UM. But it's definitely, you know,
you've got to kind of find that mindset of all right,
(54:18):
I'm doing a job, um, and I'm here, I'm here
for a reason, and I'm here because I'm trying to,
you know, provide some kind of closure or provides answers
or something. UM. But there's definitely cases that kind of
get at you a little bit, um, but it's hard
not to when you're doing a job like this. How
(54:39):
how is evidence tampa with a contaminated or compromised? Like,
what are the different ways? What are the mistakes that
could be honestly made by a c s I tick
that could funk up the prosecutor's case in a particular situation,
even if it's an honest mistake, Like, what are the
thing that could go wrong from the time that at
(55:03):
the crime scene and you go get it to the
lab and then you put it in the box, and
then it goes to the evidence room and sits in
a paperbag like on every cop show, and then that's
the bag that comes to the court room foot So
how can things be funked up on your side that
could then allow someone to walk free? Really, I mean
(55:26):
it's kind of not an answer, but it is an
answer that the biggest thing you could do is just
not collect something or miss something because past that, you know,
if you know, you leave DNA and contaminate, I mean,
if you contaminate like if you're I don't know, Hawkabaluian
sput it any on the evidence, then yeah, But like
most of the DNA most of the you know we're
(55:49):
gonna be contaminating. If you can send an elimination standard
and it's gonna be then it's gonna be able to
kind of worked around, and of course something's gonna be
thrown in the defense attorney is going to use that
against you. Um. Really, the biggest thing that could probably
is a is a lapse in chain of custody, So
chain of custody documents every single person who has that
(56:12):
or where that item of events is at every single
moment of from the moment it's collected from till the
moment it ends up in court. And really the biggest
issues you see are there being some kind of gap
in that or some kind of where it's suddenly with
one person, then all of a sudden there's another person's
name on it and there's no how it got transferred
to that person. Um. That's where you kind of used
(56:35):
to see. But anymore are all of our evidence, like
when we send it to the lab has like tags
on it that gets scanned. Um. Someplace you even have
when you leave a room with a piece of itemodients,
it automatically scans it. UM. So the biggest thing I
guess would be that. But past that type the way
technologies come, it's so hard to mess that up, and
(57:00):
we're trained so well then I mean, you just it's
if you're messing something up, you've done something pretty wrong.
What is a promotion that like in this job? Like
do you just get to wear regular clothes and point
to all the people in the lamp suit like like
like have you what's the chain of command? Like because
(57:21):
your c side now, which means you're they're smelling all
to the hoarders. But do you eventually get to be
hit medical examin like where does this go? Or where
would you like for it to go? Or do you
just like being in this ship? I mean sometimes it
like just being the ship. Um So, but I mean
there is That's one of the things about this job
(57:42):
is depending on where you work, there is nowhere to
go but to like a supervisor, a crime scene supervisor
that's still doing the same job just as a supervisor. Um.
What I like about where I work is I actually,
since I've started, I've taken on, um some work as
in some digital forensics, so cell phone forensics basically. Um
(58:03):
So that's kind of how I've further along my career
a little bit. Um. It's not necessarily I'm going to
be a big time supervisor whatever, um, but I've kind
of you know, I've added I've advanced my career, and
we have pretty good, um opportunities to get compensated with
additional pay as we get more stuff like that. Um.
(58:26):
So that's kind of how I look at advancing my career.
You know, I'm still I'm still a crime scene investigator,
but I'm just adding stuff to my my repertoire. For
people that want to get into this line of work,
what is the path that they should be looking at?
Where they are, you know, their particular courses they should
focus on. Do they just show up to crime scene
place with they with they slow shuffle, I'm ready to
(58:47):
do what they just being like former seasons? Can they
be in seasons and just started working. Can I watch
c S in Miami and put my shades and then
go yeah. I mean, there are lots of people that
think they can watch c S I Miami and then
do my job. But I mean, the best way to
(59:11):
get in this field is pretty much anymore of the
standard is a bachelor's degree in some kind of science,
whether it's forensic science, chemistry, biology, some of that nature
pretty much anymore because it's a very popular field because
of the whole c s I effect thing. Um, you know,
we're we're a fairly small agency and we're still getting
(59:31):
two applicants for open positions. That's crucial. So the job
market is honestly at this point very saturated. So I
always tell people that I say, I want to get
in this field, what do I do? Find something that
makes you stand out. Everyone's gonna have a bachelor's degree.
Everyone's going to have even there's gonna be a lot
of people the master's degree. The best thing I can
(59:52):
tell people to do is go get an internship. One
it gives you hands on experience working with people who
do the job. And the other the thing is, is
it make sure that you can do this job. Because
there are people that think they're going to be a
c s I until day two of being a c
s I, um, and then they no longer want to
be a c s I because they can't handle a
(01:00:14):
dead body. There's too much totally me couldn't handle it
for ship. You're right, agreed, I mean, it's definitely, it's
definitely a field that we see a lot of turnover. One.
We're talking a little bit before about burnout. Um, people
get burnt out after two or three years of nothing
but death and crime. And I mean it's go, go,
go go sometimes. Um, So definitely, you know, making sure
(01:00:38):
it's something you can do because you don't want to
spend four years get a degree or six years getting
masters and then show up and be like, oh yeah,
I don't want to do this anymore. What about the money, Cory,
the money? Is it worth it to me? It is? Well?
Coin it down South Georgia girl average for crime scene investigated,
(01:00:59):
Thank you, bok. I got fifty six thousand dollars around
seven to twenty eight dollars. Okay, I don't know if
that's start, but that's the national average. Apparently there's a
couple of cities. There's a couple of cities in this range.
At j G make a hundred and two thousand dollars.
You've got to be doing to two bodies of what
you got to look at their Yeah, the money ain't that.
(01:01:24):
It's not something you're gonna get rich off of. What's
I mean it's your public employee or a government employee.
I mean you're not. That's true. You're not going out
and getting rich off the job. Eventually, if you want
to get into the private sector of things, you might
have a little more sector. But you know, working for
a local or state or even federal government, you can
(01:01:47):
make a living. It's a comfortable living. Um. But wait,
you just opened another door private sector. Who's coming from
the private sector? Okay, what you can't talk to him
about that that might him killed. I don't understand a
g They that's the you know, those are the people
who call you in the middle of the night and
(01:02:09):
be like coming in my car and and pick up
this body and we're just gonna pay you in CAD.
I don't understand Corey Farmers, Jacqueline. Most of the private
sector is like just consulting. Um, there's a lot, especially
on the digital side, like all like your like your
banks and your making major companies, they all have they
(01:02:31):
all have people. So that's mainly what it is. And
there's a lot more money. Okay, I just thought somebody
else was showing up to the crime scene with you,
But like this person is rich, so now we've got
to really look at this. Okay, Well, we appreciate you
from coming on the show and sharing this piece of
your works extremely interesting. You are part of the reason
(01:02:54):
why this is the podcast of the people. We don't
deal with a lot of celebrities because folks like you
were giving us a slice of your life. I will
end with this last question. I want you to be honest.
You're both listening to this podcast when you see them dead,
but you should you take the cash out a bit
(01:03:16):
of come on course. See, that's why we do background
checks on people on this job. Thank you for coming
on the job. Appreciate you. That's the show, Roy's job.
(01:03:36):
First product of I Hied Media, South Park and Press Productions.
Um Jaquelin, Fine, my birthday is coming up. I will
allow you now to sing a couple of bars a
happy birthday, the regular version, not to Stevie wonder Win
that we don't have the rights to go exactly her.
(01:03:59):
Mike just that out, just now doing that, just because
you listening. I didn't hang up in Jacqueline's face, because
that was horrible. The Internet chose for me. The Internet
made the decision for us. And that is why I
don't want my friends singing happy birthday to me, because
(01:04:19):
I'm trying to protect them, trying to protect your ass.
It is the holidays. This is your last chance, your
last chance to be a part of Rock's Relationship Fair.
The new one's coming up next week's episode. Royce job
fair at gmail dot com. You've got some fucked up
sex that's going on at work. T J. Holmes, come
(01:04:39):
on down. You are an inspiration and you're someone that
I've looked up to for years. But this show is
about employment. Next week is about sucking on the job.
Wait not, hang on, don't do it, slander, don't stop
throwing in arrant trashes. Just people who are my slemander
(01:05:02):
because they did what tell me? Oh okay, save it
for next week, Joe next okay, cooler will right tell
you why you're all Every Birthday that's the show. Happy birthday. Really,
this has been a Comedy Central podcast
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