September 21, 2022 • 66 mins
Office parties, morale builder? Or a cesspool of drunken sexual harassment, infidelity, and racism? Being a good party guest is just as important as hosting a memorable office party. But what are the dos and don’ts of office party etiquette?
A private school teacher and state campaign worker call in to share stories of office parties that went WAY left. Jacqueline and our booker Hayat details the way women and navigate sexual harassment from drunk co-workers and how to handle yourself in these incidents. The team shares some less than stellar experiences and breaks down some guidelines to follow religiously. When men and women share the same space, sex abounds—and it isn’t always easy to read the cues @Rod4Short explains.
Catch Roy alongside Jon Hamm in “Confess, Fletch” in theaters and On Demand NOW! Want to be a guest on 'Roy's Job Fair?' Got a job scam you've seen run?A worst or first job to share? Job tips to share with everyone?Get on the show! Submit your story at www.roysjobfair.comWatch all Roy Wood Jr Comedy Specials NOW available on iTunes and streaming NOW on Paramount+
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to comedy central now. Hiring two English soccer
teams who played a friendly match the day after the
Queen's death faced the strongest possible punishment, including suspension. Sheffield
International FC had a scheduled league match against Byron House
(00:25):
that they said they would postpone and that they would
just play a friendly match against him later, and then
they then clarified and said that we're not playing at all.
It is simply a training session. But both teams showed
up and they got damn uniforms and it was training
like fucking let's just played the game so they could
(00:46):
basically be suspended from their respective conference. Is what you're saying.
Like correct. Suspend everybody involved in this. That is plan
of doing anything other than morning. The Queen, especially one
is blood of it, as Queen Elizabeth the second. That's suicide.
My main fire the front office. Do you fire the
(01:07):
front office? You do not fire the players. The players
are doing what these dudes who're giving them a check
told him to do. This is a bad play on
the front office. That's so I think you should fire
all them folks, that front office. The district fair play
League said quote this disrespect and despicable. This disrespect and
despicable behavior and investigation. Let me see you, resulting dealt
(01:31):
within the strongest possible times. To my voice, a little
rest from tea paying stripping. My name is Roy and
(01:56):
this is Rod's relationship number three, number three on the year.
One down, three down, one more to go. We get
into the podcast every couple of months. We stopped down
and we address the one aspect of employment that we
don't really get into another segments, and that's people fucking
(02:21):
a lot on the job and having sex with people
they're not supposed to be having sex with. Uh. We
want to thank everybody. Last Rod's relationship fair rode called
in and gave us some of those military sex stories,
but we're gonna open the floor today to something a
little different. We're gonna talk about office parties and we're
gonna talk about the indecency that is an office party.
(02:45):
We're gonna talk about the set up to get your
ass fired, that is the office party. This is where
we give rode a little bit of runway to help
you the job. Fair, listen to work through some of
your issues and, if you want to, you've got a
crazy work sex story or something like that. We want
you to be a part of the next Relationship Fair Royce.
(03:06):
Job Fair Dot Com for all the information on how
you can be a part of this fine, fine program right.
I turn it over to you. As we discussed office
parties in the setup that they are, I personally do
not feel like anything good can come from an office
it can be a good party, but it cannot make it.
(03:29):
An Office Party Confirms Morale, but I don't believe it
can build morale. There's more that could go wrong at
an office party than could go right. That's true. I
think the only way to Bill Morele at the Office
party is if the boss is cool enough to leave
the party. Like the Office party goes as the boss goes.
(03:53):
If the ball tell you to say the boss get drunk. Yeah,
like that. Like the boss is cool, if the balls
is partying, then that can raise morea because now everybody
feels like they're kind of on equal footing, because whenever
you're around your boss, you know, especially in the normal
corporate said and y'all pretty much stranges that just work together,
(04:14):
you know. So you know let your hair down, even
off the clock. If you run into your balls in
the restaurant, you start sitting up straight. Yeah, I mean
it's straightening your tie and ship. So if the boss
is at the Party and they kind of wilding, that
could be good for morea because everybody feels free to
let their hair down too. But the boss is being
stuck up, the party is gonna be a fucking bust.
(04:36):
I'M NOT gonna say not go to an office party,
but I just think that, in terms of protecting your
job and being safe, you're better off showing up early
and leaving early. Treat an office party like a meeting,
is what I say. That the SAMEST way to go
is to treated like a meeting. Going don't go in
there thinking this is anything like any other party you've
(04:59):
ever been to. This is basically a meeting. Treated like
you on the clock, you'll be fine. Yeah, like when
you have cake at work, it's like, oh, this is different. Yeah,
like when everybody thinks about birthday, you get the Strip. So, yeah,
tree all office gatherings like a meeting and you'll be fine.
(05:20):
I mean, wait a minute, wait a minute, what about? Okay, so, like,
listening to both of you, my first real thought is
that y'all are against the office party. Being something extra,
because it's almost like you're implying that the atmosphere of
the job is already shitty. I just don't want to
see you lose your job. You have to remember that
whenever you're dealing with corporate, your aunts is always dealing
(05:42):
with corporate. You know what I mean. There's no secret conversations,
there's no this is off the record when it comes
to corporate as long as you go to any corporate
event and act like if you had a corporate event,
you'll be good. Now that I'm not against holiday parties,
I just don't. I just want you to know where
you work and who you work with and act accorder.
(06:03):
You See, but that's the book. So you're hitting another
point for me right. So what if the corporate environment
is not a standard corporate environment, because where people work
now it's not as standard as it used to be.
Ship I worked at a place that literally used to
keep a list of everybody who got met and married
in the elevator. If you met and got married at
this place, they kept a list. Celebrated Breaking Elevator. They
(06:25):
celebrated it. So you know, don't you be like, no,
they're basically basic thing that's me and it's a list
of forty plus people. Look, what they're saying is you
should be able to come here and if you during
your job when you work hard and you're having to
find somebody and fall in love with, if we here
at safe company, we support that. Now, granted, I know
(06:47):
the flip side of that doesn't always work out well,
but still, there's a different atmosphere in most places, so
all situations aren't the same. That's an exception to the rule,
and exceptions don't change the rules. Like like, I believe
in having sex with co workers, but there are industries
in which you can work where that's fine. So as
(07:08):
we get into office party season book or her yacht,
who has worked in a very high stress corporate environment.
We won't name the companies that she's been at, but
I don't that's not one of them. Um pepsia, before
(07:33):
we get to her yacht's office party stories, because I'm
sure she has wanted to. UH, she has this lists.
Let's hear Rod, and I want to see how you
feel about this list. It's from dot com on some
of the worst mistakes you can make at an office party.
I'll just run them down real quick number one. Don't
skip the party. Don't dress an appropriate leader. I agree
(07:55):
with that. You gotta keep your thing. You can't show
nobody nothing new that they hadn't already seen. It offers,
because when you show that top meat, the men get
the UH. Don't get drunk, don't look bored, don't be antisocial,
don't go in without a plan, don't flirt and don't
let you or your guests make a fool of you.
(08:19):
You know that last one very well. What happened, right?
Is there something I should know? Talking about the racist
that I took to this party one time. You know,
don't just step over that. I didn't know she was racist. What?
Excuse me? She didn't. Black people can't be racist. She
(08:41):
was prejudice talking about happening. So I was dating this girl.
This is years ago, by the way. Let me at
a little timeline of this so folks don't be thinking
about the wrong woman. Um this I was still living
in California and I was stating this girl and she
(09:04):
was very pro black and I'm I'm fairly pro black
and I, you know, like you talk to people about
blackness and black and black and African and African history
and I've dated women like that in the past and
it's not and it's it's more of a commonality between
us than a difference. So I take it to this.
This I was I was working on a Sitcom and
(09:25):
I took it to an office party that we were having.
It's like some end of the year rat party. Hey,
we're gonna go drink and celebrate that. We did turn
up a though, through the TV show. I'm the only
black person. We are the only black people, essentially in
the cast at this party and white people are trying
to hug her and she's you ever seen that heisman
trophy with that arm still out? She said that heisman
(09:49):
and every white person to the point where it was
awkward and like like I like stand in front of
her when I introduced her to discourage the hugging and
people are trying to it was yeah, yeah, car ride home.
(10:16):
You Find People Twenty minute car ride home outside the
Comedy Club to twenty minute car ride home. She goes
into this rant about how much she hates white people,
she cannot stand and I never knew this about her
(10:37):
and I don't know how you work around them. I
don't even know how you work in that job. I
don't know how you could do that to your like
it was. We ended up breaking up like a month
later for other stuff, but it was a legitimate issue
for her that that was where I worked, and I'm
like fuck, I can't bring your amunt S. next day
at work everybody teases me for bringing a Black Panther
(11:01):
to the Christians to the party and that, but that's embarrassing.
Like it was really fucking embarrassing and I really felt
fucking dumb. Let us a life lesson, though. I agree
it was embarrassing, but you didn't do your due diligence
and learn more about this woman. What I'm supposed to do?
(11:23):
Watch a white TV show with her at night and
see it ground with the screen or some ship. It's
just like doing a job interview. You need to ask
the right questions. How militant, I mean, how militant was she? Casual,
but she wasn't militart black and there's a difference. And
so militant means you were against the system or against
(11:43):
the thing. Like we never got into anti police conversations
or why black kids shouldn't be over. It was just
I love my people. Yeah, I never saw white people together. Yeah,
but she I mean, that's the same thing. I mean
that's the same thing. If you heard a white person
say that, you've been all this. MOTHERFUCKER's racist to know
that I am in a career where I will repeatedly
(12:05):
work around white people. You think I could have took
her to the confess fletch premier and have her John Ham?
I mean. So I can't be with you based on
how you feel about people in the world, because I'm
gonna be around some of them people in the world
because that's how I get my money. I'm sorry, I
tried to make it work. I tried my best. Yat
(12:27):
Office parties, are you a fan of them? Yes or now? Um,
I was a fan of them when I was young
because I liked free liquor. But I think that there's
this thing that happens when there's a open tab, you
drink more than you need to, as if you've never
seen alcohol. But when I moved into sales, we there's
(12:52):
a lot of partying and drinking and entertaining clients. You
have a corporate card, which is the most dangerous thing
because we can put our card down for anything and
basically just expense it. Um, so my first foray into
this was, like I had recently just it was like
a month into the job. We had not so much
a holiday party, but it was a sales retreat. So
(13:15):
I just met these people. These are like new, brand
new coworkers of mine, and I think this was like
day two or at night too, and so we're all
getting drunk. I mean the C R O is there.
Everyone's there, like all the executives, and they're getting drunk too.
And so there's me, another black cop to other black
(13:38):
colleagues of mine, a Latino Dude, and the C R O,
or was the CFO whatever, the one who heads up sales.
He was a c suite person, and he was telling
us about how much he loved wrap growing up, and
so he's over here being like, you know, I was
so into wrap growing up, and this guy is like
(14:01):
in his fifties. So he's like quoting like eighties nineties wrap,
and then I forgot what song it was, but he
starts wrapping it word for word, and so the n
word comes up, he don't skip it. What the CFO
is sitting here. I just met him this a month in. ME,
my black colleague, Black and Brown colleagues are sitting there
(14:24):
and he's wrapping nigger. Did it up. Niggers goes, I'M
DONNA NIGGAS stop. Like one of my co workers is like, okay,
don't say that word again, but continue. So he we were.
(14:45):
I was just like shocked. I was also under the influence,
and so I remember after it happened, he left, we
were trying to do like this postmortem, like, did that
just happen? Like the highest like our boss is boss,
is boss, is dropped the n word in front of this. So,
I mean he was a grown ass man's I think
(15:05):
it's dangerous for everybody. Imagine if Royce INS was at
that party. Oh my God, she would have you believe
you let that white man reped it inward and you
didn't punch him in the face. If you're a man
or not. I thought I was with a man. So, Jacqueline,
I'm going to give you two options here. What do
you mean? Matter of fact? Let's just let's do the
(15:26):
Ami and then we'll do engagement after the break, before
we get to the school teacher, we can tell the
story of our time at the Emmy Awards and the
daily show party and the Emmy's after Party and that
other party we went to, because this was like basically
a night of consecutive office parties, all with alcohol involved.
(15:51):
But I'll hold onto which one of or four of
your co Co Workers? Okay, Oh, ship, okay, okay, okay,
once they knew you and I weren't together, J G,
you you carry a different skew in a party, like here's,
(16:12):
here's here's my thing. Right, should you flirt with a
CO workers plus one? Can you do that? Right? Well, no, yeah, absolutely,
if they if they're not together, they're not together. So,
J G, give me that. We we we run around
to a number of parties and people knew you were
(16:35):
with me but that we weren't together. What was that experience?
Because we weren't like walking around shoulder to shoulder the
whole Party. I was like, you know Jacqueline, she can
make friends with anybody. So I'm all right, I'M gonna
go over here and hang that's at you. I was
working the room, the meaning I was getting contacts, I
was meeting the executives. All I needed to do is
(16:57):
step through the door. So how are people moving around
you at these office parties? How do people move around you,
J G welcous, through some of these parties during Emmy's week.
You know, you ain't got the name which party specifically,
but tell me what was happening. He was getting your
booty grab was people grabbing your wrist? Let's just say
(17:19):
I met a lot of people who are interested in
getting to know me more. First off, Jacqueline was looking
goddamn stunning. Go to the job fair. socials who whatever,
whatever your socials are, go look at that address. Go
look at that. That is if there's ever a dress
shoes show shot at you ain't seen the back either.
(17:45):
Ride she had to back out. She had a little
classicals and she showing a little shoulder bladyship. Oh you're kind.
And there were men who don't look like us, and
this is perfectly fine, of all nationalities, who would come
up and touch my back and turned me towards them.
(18:08):
It was, it's very gentlemanly, it really was. That is
sexual harassment, is what that is. But it was not.
It was sexual harassment. So you could just go around
touching girls bags and turning them to you because you
want there. You don't. You don't touch the back like
you're just scrubbing their hand on the blackboard. Man, very beautiful.
(18:31):
I won't know. You have to clock in on this one. Well,
touch women and turn them around to you because you
want their tenching. They're not your harassment. Yes, a notebook
or her. Yet I'M gonna have to go with inappropriate
as someone who's been filt up on the red carpet
by celebrity. Just because you're a celebrity, and even if
(18:51):
you're good looking or even if you're wealthy, don't put
your hands on me. Well, it wasn't disrespectful the way
they touched me. It really wasn't. I been touched or tried.
Someone did actually to touch me disrespectfully, but I was fine.
It was disrespectful that they touched you, not how they
touched you. Okay, I see your point. This was going on.
(19:12):
I was, I was at these parties, but this is
going on. People passing by and rushing up against you
know absolutely. You left her alone. I want, I want,
I want. I'm gonna show you some pictures when we
get off to that whatever. Al Right, after the break,
Jack One is gonna tell us one of her engagement
(19:34):
stories and they'll be gonna jump into Rod's relationship fair
with a party with a bunch of school teachers. It
ended up in sex, and we're gonna let rob break
that down. It's a relationship fair with you right back,
(19:54):
Rod's relationship fair. It's time to get into it. Ride
and you have people stand and by telling US terrible
stories of office parties that turned into a little bit
of sex. We get a campaign worker that's going on
get with us at some point too. We got a
school teacher standing by, but first J G um. Also, real,
(20:14):
real quick, um in the dendum to earlier Jacqueline Um,
if anybody does touch you crazy at any function that
I'm at, please let me know immediately so I can
just you know, like, because you know what I felt
like being out. You know what it was like being
out with J G. Third, it was big brother vibes.
(20:36):
It was really the pictures gave a cool last big
brother big brothers. You know what I'm saying. I take
that like you seem to be like I would look
like if Jacqueline was like around two other black women black.
You seem safe. I will now go and work to him,
but then I'm coming back now to stories of just
me and just go yes, and then another man granted
(20:57):
me by the rest and was like where we going?
And at the week beven you tried to take me
to its helicopter and I was like, oh no, I
don't do helicopters, Nathan. You Know Kevin America, Capin America,
grab my ass and I had to be like Anthony mackist.
I think there's an addendum to the point of because
(21:20):
there are young women that listen to this show as
well and they have to understand how to deal with men,
because I don't. I don't know the best way to
say it, but there is a line that should be
walked and there is also something to be said about
how men approach you. I I have a sense of
(21:44):
if it's not above board, it's probably not gonna happen.
So that's just me and that's plus years of me
being me, because men come and go every day. It's
it's nothing. That is a normal and it's just me.
But I don't know how to help young women who
run into those things. I don't know. Yeah, what what
(22:06):
say you who yet, because you know you're also from
this era of just getting your booty grabbed at an
office function and apparently people freestyle and the inwards two
feet from your face. You know, how how should young
women handle these inappropriate gestures that happened at their job,
(22:28):
while also trying to keep their jobs? You know, I've
seen really uncomfortable things happen at at holiday parties, Um,
when people are excessively drunk. I think it's really just
making sure, Um, you have people around that can kind
of witness it and so you don't feel like you're
ever cornered on your own. But also, I don't know,
(22:50):
I think that it's okay to just tell people like,
don't touch you, that I don't feel comfortable. You know,
you do in fact put those creeps on blast. I
understand the politics of trying to keep your job and
how hard it must be to be a woman in
these situations, because life is so oppressive to women around
the globe, regardless of race, you know. But one thing
(23:14):
you can't do, ladies, because that that locker room talk
ship is real. Like, dudes talk and dudes don't understand
that being inappropriate. We'll just tell another dude these stories
and he must be corrected by the dude to that point.
But one thing you can do, if you don't wanna,
you know, rock the boat and get yourself put on
(23:34):
some sort of list. Put the creep on blast personally
and one on one situation, because trust me, he will
run back and tell the rest of the fellas about
how he touched you inappropriately and you got very attitudal
and whatnot. So stay away from that one. That's true.
Threatening them with some sort of physical harm or some
(23:56):
ship like that, threatening to tell on them. That won't
really but if you come across like somebody who, like,
is not gonna stand for this ship, he will put
the word out that you're not gonna stand for that ship.
Like that's what happened a couple of years ago when women,
when women's rights and when I first started coming to
the forefront, and a lot of dudes were talking, you know,
(24:19):
even on social media, about how like, like, you can't
tell a woman she looks good and things like that,
like I'm scared to talk to women. Now it's like good,
that's the fucking point. If you're the exact dude that
they're trying to get to not talk to them. So
if not being inappropriate with a woman makes you scared
to talk to women, you are the type of creep
(24:41):
that they're fucking talking to and about. And See, I
just had to grow up in all of this because
in my twenties I didn't use my words well. So
if I'm in a space or whatever, someone grabs my arm,
grabs my hand, I grab their neck. It catches them
off guard. Yes, yeah, and then in my thirties I
(25:01):
learned how to use were. I was like what, you
grab a man by his nick really fast, out of nowhere? Oh,
he's scared out of his mind. And in my twenties, yeah,
I would grab your neck out of nowhere. Are you
missed a spot? Pinch like knockout spot. voking differently. Are
you like pinching the Esophage, like grab the whole neck,
(25:23):
or could that esophagus? Pinch that and squeeze on the
side that pub in his karate? One thing I would
add to is anytime someone's touched me or grabbed my
arm or put their hand on my waist, I immediately
grabbed their hands dramatically and lifted off to show them
(25:45):
that I don't like them touching me. and that's usually
triggered to a dude where it's like Oh, my bed,
my bed, like Oh, I realized of them girls don't
like to be touched in the club inappropriately. You wanted
a new age exactly. Yeah, but if you let him
get away with it, they are now ever going to
as this tradition with every rose relationship. Fair Jaquelin has
(26:08):
to tell us one of her four point five engagement stories,
so I will go with the one that involves fried chicken,
not loose diamonds. I'll hold loose diamonds because that one's
so simple, but it's still very sweet. Yeah, loose diamonds. Anyway. So,
long story short, and with this guy that I really like,
we dig each other, we really do. We are compatible
(26:31):
on every plane, I kid you not. So I don't
know if it was a Saturday or if it was
a Sunday, but we were cooking and we were making
coaslaw and I like apples in my coaslaw, and he
sees in some chicken and I was frying it. So
after he sees in that chicken and I get those
two little bags out, I'm gonna put some flour in there,
(26:52):
and makes some chicken and put it in the grease
or whatever, he gets a beer and go sit down
and watch us a game. Fine, that the kitchen works
perfectly for me. I'm frying chicken and I looked at
my right and this fool is on his knee with
a ring in his hand. He just came out of nowhere,
(27:13):
compatible on every level. Let's now. This fool is on
his knee. How long had you all been dating? J G?
Maybe swell? Fourteen months? Maybe months? Yeah, I mean exacinitely.
(27:36):
You've been married. You've been married once, correct, and this
man you were happy. Y'All were compatible in every way imaginable.
It's this the man you the one man you married. No,
it's not happy. I don't like that. This is in
(27:59):
front of me for proposal and no, we've never got there.
This is a confusing story. It is not ausing we
just say he had a really tragic incident. I won't
say what, because then people will know who he is.
After that, I just knew I couldn't deal with this anymore.
I was too young to try to help him through that.
I didn't know about mental health at that time. So
(28:22):
it was just over. We couldn't. Okay, so he had
some problems and you know how to deal with him.
You Ain't know how to help him. I felt like
more problems than what it was worth. And then, after
that problem, one day y'all in the kitchen frying chicken
and you turned around and he owned one. No, no, no, no,
all the problem thing happened like a month after we
got engaged. So you did. I only say yes, weird
(28:49):
relationship and romantic theories and some of the most weird ship,
and she started the story when we were perfect for
each other. I said yes, yeah, I had to break
up with and so you said, yeah, you finished frying
a chicken. He goes out, has something terrible happened to him,
from which he was mentally shattered. You didn't know how
to put him back together. He didn't know how to
put himself back together. So, rather than to help his man,
(29:13):
it's so stop on his motherfucking wound. Handed him back
that ring. Now, did you hand back to ring? Steven asked, motherfucker, Hey, man, reversides,
suck up again. J Ain't talking about and you slipped
(29:34):
out of the middle of the night ring. No, no, no, no,
that ship the easy Paul, and actually it was the
right thing to do. It was the best thing to do.
It took him much longer than anyone ever imagined for
him to get over what happened and his mother still
(29:57):
to this day, she'll send me a text message and
you'll say every last one of them, he's just looking
for you, and I'm like no, why don't you go
back up and got this stuff back together? It sounds
like he was your man. I don't go backwards. It's
it's my own little thing. Such a UN what's you,
(30:17):
my ex? You Pretty Much Dad to your boy. I
don't Neber. Can you find? Nobody? We're not looking at
look at that's not even the same person. Want you,
my ex, that we ain't fucking no more. We ain't
about to be fucked buddies, nothing. But I don't. I
(30:39):
don't go backwards. I mean you can call, we can talk,
we can chat, we can hang, but most men who
created me as well, they make sure they don't call me.
They block me because their girlfriends and wives. Roy is
a dolphins fan, so what I'm trying to say is
he already likes paining, so he's cool going back. I
don't like meeting New People. It is much easier to
(31:04):
go to someone from my past and going, did you
figure it out? I think I've figured it out, and
then we both go yeah, we figured it out and
then we try again. Y'All haven't figured it out, but
it's just I don't know that that seems easier. Okay,
(31:24):
J G, now that we've established your type of person,
let's get it to you keep the ring Keet, the
ring from the broken man, ring back. You don't have
to give the ring back at all. This man lost
all of his limbs or whatever he lost. That's what
(31:49):
that's what we're gonna Sayn tell had a mental breakdown
and don't tell us what it is. We've always business
out there, right. He had he had a fake leg
and he still man. He lost all his limbs and
then was attacked by a chimpanzee, was mauled and he
(32:16):
came back in that house and that Goddamn skateboard and
you knew you didn't want to be with a man
that had to get around on the skateboard now and
a good person. I promised you if I called him
right now, he would show up no matter what, because
he's a good person. Beat back. Do you go back
(32:36):
with Um? I think it's a SGITTARIOUS and that's Roy
were just lazy. Thank you. I've been in situations where
it's like I might as well just you know, but
I've done that, got all that's wise. Yeah, sometime, you know,
I'm used to this, but in relationship I think it's hard.
(33:00):
I think it depends on why you broke up, because
I do kind of agree with Jj and in the
sense that it's hard to get back into a past
relationship because it's the fear of like you gotta Rehash
all the ship that was like ahead. Can't just forge ahead,
but unpacking all of the corrosion and fixing that and
(33:20):
getting the car refurbished and back out on the road.
It's much easier buying a new car. You know that
many cars you got to drive before you find the
car you like. When you got one, right back there
the dealership, you're going to just deal with and be
satisfied with the new cars and try to like make
(33:41):
that I'm interested in learning a new person. I want
to learn about a new person. I want to see
different things and I want a different experience. If you
feel like he was a good guy. The only thing,
the only issue was what was happening with him at
that period of time and he's moved on from that,
(34:03):
then I would contemplate it. Now while Y'all all out
there on first dates, trying to figure it out and
asking stupid ship like your favorite TV show. I'm gonna
find this girl from sixth grade and run it back.
I don't care how far the Y is. Calling up
old we refurbishing old cars around here, having the same
(34:23):
argument from thousand seven. Let's get into the relationship fair.
Who Do we have on the line? J G, and
let them serve up this amazing us on the job
sescapade to ride. We welcome Danielle. She is a private
(34:45):
school teacher based in New Jersey. She recently wrote to
us about a messy affair that took place a few
years ago between two teachers she worked with and that
also happened to be her friends. Hello, Danielle, how are
you right? Face? We're talking in a private school. I
(35:09):
know it's gonna be good. You know what it is?
Everybody at a private school a freak. Students, staff, felt
I don't know about the kid I work with high schoolers,
so I try not to think about them like that,
but I will say it's it's a mess among the faculty.
It's it's a mess, like messy. This is this is
(35:32):
like one of several stories from this one job. So
this was a few years ago. Um, the people involved,
I was both friends, with one closer than the other. Uh,
the I T person. His name is Jorgey. Um, he
was a really good friend of mine. We like became
(35:53):
friends as soon as we started working together. So he
was a good friend of mine in the other person
involved in this is Camilla, who is the Spanish teacher. Um,
she was a friend. Right, we knew each other because
we worked together. She was really cool. We would chat
get drinks after work. Um, but it actually all started
(36:17):
with a Work Party. So one thing you gotta know
with teachers, especially private school teachers, straight alcoholics. Just every
every like Friday, going out for drinks. So work parties
aren't Oh, you know, whatever the school pays for, we'll
(36:41):
have a couple of drinks, two hours, like this is
a guarantee, like seven hours. People, people put in Ubers
and and it's a good seven hours. It's like you
you don't have to buy a drink, right, somebody's paying.
Who is who is sanctioning this? Like going back to
teaching private school? Yeah, so they would normally they would pay.
(37:04):
It'd be like four hours of like drinks and food,
and then the rest would be like normally it was
somebody's supervisor, right, so would be like the principal, the
vice principal, Um, the guy who's head of I t.
They would all buy round like and actually one person,
he frequently would just leave his card and he would
(37:25):
just be like, buy drinks until, you know, you reach
this amount or it's been a few hours, and then,
you know, just bring my car back the next day. But,
like they this is like a real morale boost. This
is like, you know, we we've been working hard, less
party hard, um, but it it gets wild. It gets
(37:47):
wild because people get waste. So okay, so jorge again,
was a friend of mine. We chat this party. It
was it was kind of why out. It was a
whole bunch of stuff going on. Um, I had this
one CO worker, this guy who was like in his sixties,
just randomly was hanging out with us. Got Super wasted.
(38:11):
Had to figure out how to get him home. It
was a lot going on, but I noticed throughout the
night Camilla kept flirting with him right and like, you know,
saying really suggestive stuff. But the thing I left at
is Camilla is married, or hey has a living girlfriend
(38:32):
and he's been with for like five years at that.
You know, you know a plus B. You know that'll
give me c. But I was like, this don't make sense.
So I'm trying to run interference like a good friend,
like a terrible friend, like, you know, some people wasted
(38:56):
making bad decisions. I'm like, you know, let me, let
me stop these people from hurting themselves. So grown people
are talking about. These are grown people yet, right, you know,
but but you can't stop no grown people from doing
what they're gonna do. No, I respect that, though they're drunk.
(39:18):
It's not like this has been some sober flirting that's
happened over weeks and weeks. This is some spur of
the moment. I don't years old. There they know what
the funk they're doing. They've been hiding, is why they
were sober. This is like when your homeboy says that
he about to try to have sex with a strip
of rod and you just gotta be like Hey, man, don't,
(39:39):
don't cut the same thing. Don't let you want sleep
with a strip of let him sleep with a teacher. Oh,
go ahead, go ahead, Dang well, so commit has thrown
it at Jorgey I'm just like, I don't know what's
(39:59):
happen here. And again it's like it's a whole bunch
of other stuff to deal with. So everybody's waisted. We
wrap up, we go home. I'm like super drunk, but
there's another person going the same way as me, so
she's like let's walk together. I'm like all right, whatever.
So we're walking down the Road Jorge and Camilla Um.
(40:20):
They happen to both live in Queens right, and they
conveniently live within two blocks of each other. Like this
is a conversation years ago, right home together. So it
wasn't weird, like and they were like we're gonna take
the uber home the Queen's. I was like, all right, whatever,
(40:42):
I don't care. I'm walking down the road, it's snowy,
it's winter. I'm walking with this like Nosey broad next
to me and it's two people just slobbing each other
down on the sidewalk, just just going ham and it's
just like what. So I'm, you know, I'm in the city,
(41:04):
being here too long, so I'm yelling at these people
where I'm like, you know, get a room, move on,
and I keep walking. You God. But but yeah, the
(41:26):
person I was walking with goes, Oh, is that who
I think it is, and I said I don't I
don't know. I ain't seen nothing, and she was like no,
that's that was Horhean came. That was and I was like, look,
I don't know what you saw. I see nothing. I
see nothing, and I just keep walking at me like
I was crazy. I was like, girl, I don't see nothing.
(41:47):
After you yelled at them because you saw them. Now
you ain't seen nothing. I feel like. I feel like
it took her seeing them ride for her to become
a good friend, that she eventually became like a room.
Who are you talking to? Nobody. Do they keep sucking Danielle,
because I'm for sure they fucked it. It ain't nobody,
(42:10):
just going the first base with the coworker. They've been
taking Uber's home together for months. This was that party
was the first time you saw them, not the first
time they've ever been flirt with each other. They've probably
been fingering for six months, and I will say kind
of in Camilla's defense, I guess. So they keep the
(42:35):
affair going this, this goes on for like over a year. Um,
poor hey acts like nothing is going on, like nothing
like ain't nothing. Camilla. No. So eventually I learned that
she's in an open relationship. Like so she she can
(42:59):
do whatever, right, that's that's between her and her man.
But je I have no proof that jorgey girlfriend knew.
Now his wife. Um, Oh yeah. So they kept the
fair going. It went on for over a year and
then they broke up because, apparently, horhe caught feelings, uh,
(43:24):
and Camilla was like, so really only one person was
cheating in this scenario that you've presented. So one person
was cheating and the other person had permission to go
outside their relationship. Um, which was all happening, and so
people had to pretend like it wasn't happening. Danielle, did, Um,
(43:45):
she ever tell you that this was a good love maker?
I mean, what happened here? She not for gave me details.
So what it was like in the bedroom? I mean,
they didn't stop fucking for a year. So everything you
need to know. It just might have been less rode
permission to funk whoever she wants, whenever she wants. So
(44:09):
she does only one. She was probably somebody who just
needed that twenty four hours a day, and he was
at the job at the time. If he's bad and
bad and she has permission to sleep with thirty other guys,
she wouldn't have kept him around if he was bad
in the sack. Daniel, let me ask you a question
real quick. As an educator and you've worked in the
public sector and the private sector, what is it about
(44:31):
the occupation of teacher? What is it about that job
that makes it so fucking sexually charged? One thing, part
of it is you spend all day like represhed, like
repressing your inner self, like it's like you know you
can't swear the kids. You know you can't be putting
them in headlocks. You know you yourself. So when you
(44:56):
get a moment too you know you lose your mind.
That's that's why you know a lot of people to drink.
I know a lot of people who teach US smoke.
They gotta do what they gotta do to like you stress.
Fun fact, most teachers drink vodka on the drop because
it doesn't really have a sense and you can't smell
it on you. So a lot of teachers like to
(45:17):
drink vodka at work. Can Be what else you WANTA?
Do you want? You want to know what kind of
condoms use? What what other perverted, perverted? It goes back
to something that rod actually said in a previous episode.
(45:37):
He said, and you chimed in on it, Roy, talking
about when you walk into a facility or building, you
look for spaces that you might be able to be intimate. So, Danielle,
where were they intimate? Uh Well, UM, so, talking to
the security person, there was like a part in one
(45:58):
of the stairwells where there was no cameras. They had
to walk around the police that area. Nasty. Well, Danielle,
we cannot thank you enough for calling in and contribute
in to Rod's relationship. Fair. Do what you can to
stop snitching so much on people and running the business. Hater.
(46:23):
Let's even get the sucking funk on if they want
to get the sucking grown. I always say I've been
a I've been a snitch my whole life. I used
to snitch on my older sister. So you know this
is this is just me continuing a job that I've
I've been fulfilling since I was a kid. Consistency. You
need to get out of the DIGON job and go
(46:44):
into the law enforcement area, since you like so much.
I'm a prosecute US some ship. Thank you, Daniel have
a good one after the break. More Rod's relationship fairs
to job fair. Will be right back Rod's relationship fair.
(47:13):
We tread on. We go from the world to teach it.
I forgot you why you ain't let me sing, to
teach a song to Danielle last break, Jacqueline, because I
want Danielle to come back on the show. Teachers on.
We got a scene the teacher wake up, Oh teachers,
baby heaven that six y'All be getting fucking don't use
(47:37):
no condoms. Your wife didn't know that. You're sucking at
work and now you got a baby. And this is
the thing that I love about the relationship, fair rode.
I love that that through your weird analysis of the world,
because you gotta keep in mind these people were not
(47:58):
called to tell me and jacqueline stories. It's going to
talk to you like. I don't know what it is
about you rock, but you you give people an ability
to just this. Danielle just called and snitched on hand
for a cobor because she probably still worked with them.
Changed the city or nothing. Nothing. She just yeah, he
lives in Queens two blocks from the woman he fucking
(48:22):
light skin. He's a light skinned port a dark skinned
Porto region named Camilla, who lived two blocks from people.
Feel open sharing with you raw tales of sex and
escapades that happened within the workplace and a lot of
jobs that I didn't know you could be fucking on.
I did not know door to door political canvassing was like.
(48:47):
You want to talk about where the FUNK Jacqueline? They
ain't even know stairwell, when you're going door to door,
this is a valid question. You show up at the
Right House, somebody might let you use that guest bathroom.
Now I'm doing bad. Walk me through that conversation then, Rod,
walk me through that. How you start that conversation? Not Now,
gonna do yes, I'm here to talk to you about voting.
By the way, can I one of my co workers
(49:10):
that's also canvassing with me? Well, if it's one thing
people hate more than a telephone call, it's a knock
at their door. And if it's one thing that you
really don't want to do is knock at people's doors
for a living, we have somebody on who does just that.
J G. Who Do we have on a relationship? Fair,
we have long term long time Listener Matt from Austin, Texas.
(49:30):
Matt previously worked on political campaigns in Illinois and Wisconsin
as a campaign field staff member. That basically means he
worked face to face with voters, is what I'm told.
He's described the role as west wing meets, one of
the employees from superstore, and while on the campaign trail,
(49:55):
Matt witness and experienced his fair share of crazy eight years.
And that includes interns having sex at donors houses and
for guns being dropped on him the door, not at
(50:15):
the same time, just to make you clear. So yeah,
thanks for clarifying man. I think the biggest thing that
drew me to this job is that in some of
these races, especially local races, two hundred and fifty to
three hundred votes can change political leadership in the town. Yeah,
and and for some of these places that's just one
or two churches that you can do. Look, it's also
the polls campaign with Um. You know, it's one good
(50:38):
organizer who can make a big difference as far as
meeting people, having events, getting another community and building that trust.
And it's probably the most rewarding job I've ever had.
It's as as funny and entertaining as some things can be,
and as scary as it can be sometimes, it ended
up being one of those kinds of jobs where, most
of the time feel better when you go sleep. Wow,
(51:01):
that's do but. But for right now, Matt, let's talk
about this fucking that be happening ship. So what type
of flirting is going on on this job? What is
the FRAT nization type situation on this job? Are Y'all
pay it off in Pairs? Are you in groups? Like?
(51:25):
How can you, how can you break HR rules within
this construct? How is this set up? In a field,
political job, there's there's a up, you know, there's there's
almost no HR. No. So, Um, campaigns are running almost
entirely off of really optimistic young college kids, Um, and
(51:46):
people want to change the world, and you're often kind
of the reason why these people are kind of targeted,
because you're young and you don't know anybody. You're you're
willing to work, you know, a fourteen hour day and
get paid six a month and sleep on a couch
because you want to make the world a better place. Um,
and when you spend that much time with certain people
and you know you're all kind of grinding together. You know,
(52:09):
with the little that you have Um, that you end
up spending Um and forming some pretty weird relationships that
kind of come out of it, especially when there might
be five of you in our office and the five
of you hate everyone else, you guys interact with, you know,
but you love each other. Clicked up sometimes, sometimes, I mean,
(52:30):
I don't want to I don't want to make it
sound like everyone, everybody's fucking in a campaign office across America,
but it seems so. Then the issue of proximity and
struggle creates this this inevitable stew of sooner or lated.
You know, the whole point of a field organizer and
a political campaign is to be able to go out
(52:52):
and try and essentially turn your campaign, your your candidate
into a multi level or multi level marketing scheme where
you're getting people to give their time and their resources
to the campaign for pretty much nothing in exchange Um.
And that means you'll have somebody who's twenty or twenty
one years old overseeing a whole group of adults who
some of them might be totally fine people and some
(53:13):
of the might want to wild out and uh so,
you know. So that can lead to some pretty Um,
awful situations. For example, I'll tell you, guys the story.
We lost a primary Um in Illinois and it was
a race that we were expected to blow out. So
it was supposed to be a party that we were
going to the night of Election Day. It ended up
(53:34):
being like a funeral. We just decided we're gonna get
the Hillary trump election way way before we decided we
were gonna yeah, uh no, we we decided that we
were going to go and just drink all the liquor
that we brought. Anyway, you know, just as a last rock,
we ended up going to the closest house that we
(53:55):
had nearby, which was a house provided to us by
a donor who had maxed out of the contribution. We
called this house fantasia. It had like nineteen bedrooms. It
was an amazing place. Um, yeah, it was very cool,
one of the coolest experiences ever, you know. Um, and
as you're going in, no one's supposed to be there
except of the people who are staying there, which is
about four, four of us. And now all of a
(54:17):
sudden we have fifteen, twenty people there and uh, you know,
campaign management shows up and yeah, they well, they weren't
very happy about it because, you know, that's exactly what
they're seeing. But they just lost a really brutal race,
so they do not wanting to be addict to anybody,
you know, they just kind of wanted to hey, everybody
is a chill out and slow down. And after sending
enough people home and going through it, Um, we decided
(54:40):
a couple of extra people were going to say, including
campaign management. So as we're going around assigning rooms, person
the person, the campaign manager, you know, we opened up
the door and there's two interns just going right at
it in the room the person the power. They stopped
for a minute and then as as we shut the
door they went right back to so I don't think
(55:01):
anyone want to interrupt him. Truth be told, I don't
know what happened for stopping long enough to reckon over there.
That's the way I look at it. Are They married now, Matt?
I don't I don't think so. Two questions. Yeah, what,
I'M gonna learn how to control your microphone. So they
had sex that night. So they're married now? Right, no, grandma,
(55:25):
it was a really, really good hug. That's what it was.
You know what, I've had no idea what happened to
these guys, but I hope that somewhere there together, you know,
in someone else's bedroom. We can't thank you enough for
coming on the show and thank you for the past
(55:47):
emails to the show. We appreciate you for being a
friend and forgiving a damn about politics at some point
in this dysfunctional as country. We appreciate you for calling
into the relationship. Thank you. Thank you. Well, that was
nice him. That was nice to him to call in
with that. Like Rod, I just feel like when people
are having sex and other people's houses, I think it's rude.
(56:08):
Why do you think keep your shoes on? And the
Nigga House type ship, like, why are you working in
my house? Dog? That's some hater ship. Man. I don't
know how many political parties y'all have been to. UH,
political parties tend to get down, like you know, once
the political party to go down, let me let me
tell you. So let me tell you about political parties.
I'm not I don't want to disparage anybody, so I'm
(56:31):
not gonna say any names. But, UM, a couple a
couple of years ago, I did a did a comedy
show down in Tuscalooson and the time we did the
show the same night as a governor election in Alabama.
So I so we hit up, we hit Jimmy Jones
(56:54):
after the show and I finished eating a page. I
go outside to get my small so I'm standing in
the parking Lo's smoking. Up Pulls this Rickety Ass van
with what is obviously two prostitutes in it. I mean
I'm talking, we're talking. Everybody in this governor's race is white.
(57:17):
Two the twenty year old black strippers pull up in
a get out of the car and they asked me
if they were driving the van and they asked me
where the governor's election party was, and I'm just like
two comedians looking for the venue. I'm like, first of all,
(57:39):
what kind of nigger on the street just knows where
election headquarters is for somebody that night? And why can't
you text the secretary, Whoever told you the governor want
you to come shakes the masks and such some Dick
and make some cash? Why can't you text them and
get the directions of the address? And Bunch of GPS.
(57:59):
At those parties there's a certain time it's time to go.
Once the cameras leave is going down down. It seems
that the theme of both of these relationship fairs to
me is just if you don't want your employees fucking,
stop throwing parties from stop throwing dope parties. I mean
really honestly, the only thing you can do to stop
(58:22):
your employees from fucking is not having any goddamn employees.
Human things are going to have sex. Sex is a need,
whether you need to not have sex or you need
to have sex. However you feel about sex, you're going
to get it, you're going to have and you put
(58:43):
a bunch of random people in a room, just speaking
from a math standpoint, the percentage, there's a percentage of
people in that room are going to end up sucking
and fucking. It's just life. But what is it about
work parties that make people feel like, all right, now
is the time? Honestly, you know what it is. This
(59:05):
is what it is after you, after you get out
of school, whether that's high school or college, once you
get away from school, the amount of people you're put
around in which to pull your sex partners for up
drops tremendously right like in high school, Middle School, Elementary School, College,
(59:26):
your date people, because that's your social circle. You know
what I mean. Once you graduate from High School and
college and going to the workforce, that Daily Group of
men and women you're put around, your new social circle
is everybody at your job. So eventually people in that group,
(59:49):
just like all your groups from school, people are going
to start fucking because we're not corporate drones, were not
worker bees, people, these are human beings at your job. Yeah,
they're that will do a job, but in between working
they're just gonna be human. The Work Party is nothing
but the club with the fucking. I D on it right.
(01:00:10):
And then you know they're in the third floor bathroom.
They't even know they work with each other and they
were nothing else. You can really do about it. Like
I'm just I think the man is preaching right now.
You know what I'm saying. People are gonna have sex.
It's no difference than abstinence, only sex education and ain't
stopping nobody from fucking. No, just might increase bill jobs
and ain't on. All right, so then our Christmas party
(01:00:35):
is awful. I would just send it one. That's the show.
Right's relationship fair. As a product of Comedy Central, I
heart media, South Park and Preston productions ride. Thank you,
as always, for helping these people navigate the minefield that
is the office party. It's a good time. No, it's
(01:00:58):
not a good time. Right, it's a good term to
get fired. I'll tell you what, I'll give you a
good time. Holiday Party story has no, no sexuality involved.
I had a job where I worked with two of
the dumbest people I've ever met and one time we
had a Christmas party and after you know, we come
(01:01:22):
back to work that Monday and you know, everybody was
recounting the night and you know what they did afterwards.
One of the ladies goes, well, the rest of my
night wasn't that good because I ended up in the hospital.
So of course we're all like, oh my God, like
what happened? She was like, I don't know, I had
some sort of allergic reaction to something, but I'm always
(01:01:44):
on top of that, so I don't know how it happened.
And the other woman who worked out, who was one
of the other people ever met, she goes because they
were they were like they've been best friends there, but
she was like, well, I saw you drinking in Saint
Gria and it had orange slices in it and I
swear to God, the one who went to the hospital says, well,
(01:02:05):
that can't be it. I'm allergic to oranges. Allergic that
orange juice, not oranges, and it was just like the
horses comes from. You, idiot, not allergic that orange juice.
You allergic to rage music. It got to be the
dumbest motherfucker. Absolutely, we can't. We can't work around people.
(01:02:30):
These are people in decision making positions behaving like this
on a regular basis. This is very sad. Is that serious? Bro?
She watched Sangria have orange slices it and she'd just
be good, oh, it's cool to drink that. I'm not
allergic that orange, is just the juice. I mean, calm
a people, slices. Can't get sick of slices. I'm not allergically,
(01:02:50):
just just it's just not oranges in it. It's like
that's fucking in sae. dumbest things I've heard about fucking
life before, Royce job fad dot time. If you want
to be a part of the next rights relationship pair,
which we'll do in a few months, if you want
to be a part of the show in general, man,
that's the show and we'll see you all next week.
This has been a comedy Central Podcast
You're listening to comedy central now. Hiring two English soccer
teams who played a friendly match the day after the
Queen's death faced the strongest possible punishment, including suspension. Sheffield
International FC had a scheduled league match against Byron House
(00:25):
that they said they would postpone and that they would
just play a friendly match against him later, and then
they then clarified and said that we're not playing at all.
It is simply a training session. But both teams showed
up and they got damn uniforms and it was training
like fucking let's just played the game so they could
(00:46):
basically be suspended from their respective conference. Is what you're saying.
Like correct. Suspend everybody involved in this. That is plan
of doing anything other than morning. The Queen, especially one
is blood of it, as Queen Elizabeth the second. That's suicide.
My main fire the front office. Do you fire the
(01:07):
front office? You do not fire the players. The players
are doing what these dudes who're giving them a check
told him to do. This is a bad play on
the front office. That's so I think you should fire
all them folks, that front office. The district fair play
League said quote this disrespect and despicable. This disrespect and
despicable behavior and investigation. Let me see you, resulting dealt
(01:31):
within the strongest possible times. To my voice, a little
rest from tea paying stripping. My name is Roy and
(01:56):
this is Rod's relationship number three, number three on the year.
One down, three down, one more to go. We get
into the podcast every couple of months. We stopped down
and we address the one aspect of employment that we
don't really get into another segments, and that's people fucking
(02:21):
a lot on the job and having sex with people
they're not supposed to be having sex with. Uh. We
want to thank everybody. Last Rod's relationship fair rode called
in and gave us some of those military sex stories,
but we're gonna open the floor today to something a
little different. We're gonna talk about office parties and we're
gonna talk about the indecency that is an office party.
(02:45):
We're gonna talk about the set up to get your
ass fired, that is the office party. This is where
we give rode a little bit of runway to help
you the job. Fair, listen to work through some of
your issues and, if you want to, you've got a
crazy work sex story or something like that. We want
you to be a part of the next Relationship Fair Royce.
(03:06):
Job Fair Dot Com for all the information on how
you can be a part of this fine, fine program right.
I turn it over to you. As we discussed office
parties in the setup that they are, I personally do
not feel like anything good can come from an office
it can be a good party, but it cannot make it.
(03:29):
An Office Party Confirms Morale, but I don't believe it
can build morale. There's more that could go wrong at
an office party than could go right. That's true. I
think the only way to Bill Morele at the Office
party is if the boss is cool enough to leave
the party. Like the Office party goes as the boss goes.
(03:53):
If the ball tell you to say the boss get drunk. Yeah,
like that. Like the boss is cool, if the balls
is partying, then that can raise morea because now everybody
feels like they're kind of on equal footing, because whenever
you're around your boss, you know, especially in the normal
corporate said and y'all pretty much stranges that just work together,
(04:14):
you know. So you know let your hair down, even
off the clock. If you run into your balls in
the restaurant, you start sitting up straight. Yeah, I mean
it's straightening your tie and ship. So if the boss
is at the Party and they kind of wilding, that
could be good for morea because everybody feels free to
let their hair down too. But the boss is being
stuck up, the party is gonna be a fucking bust.
(04:36):
I'M NOT gonna say not go to an office party,
but I just think that, in terms of protecting your
job and being safe, you're better off showing up early
and leaving early. Treat an office party like a meeting,
is what I say. That the SAMEST way to go
is to treated like a meeting. Going don't go in
there thinking this is anything like any other party you've
(04:59):
ever been to. This is basically a meeting. Treated like
you on the clock, you'll be fine. Yeah, like when
you have cake at work, it's like, oh, this is different. Yeah,
like when everybody thinks about birthday, you get the Strip. So, yeah,
tree all office gatherings like a meeting and you'll be fine.
(05:20):
I mean, wait a minute, wait a minute, what about? Okay, so, like,
listening to both of you, my first real thought is
that y'all are against the office party. Being something extra,
because it's almost like you're implying that the atmosphere of
the job is already shitty. I just don't want to
see you lose your job. You have to remember that
whenever you're dealing with corporate, your aunts is always dealing
(05:42):
with corporate. You know what I mean. There's no secret conversations,
there's no this is off the record when it comes
to corporate as long as you go to any corporate
event and act like if you had a corporate event,
you'll be good. Now that I'm not against holiday parties,
I just don't. I just want you to know where
you work and who you work with and act accorder.
(06:03):
You See, but that's the book. So you're hitting another
point for me right. So what if the corporate environment
is not a standard corporate environment, because where people work
now it's not as standard as it used to be.
Ship I worked at a place that literally used to
keep a list of everybody who got met and married
in the elevator. If you met and got married at
this place, they kept a list. Celebrated Breaking Elevator. They
(06:25):
celebrated it. So you know, don't you be like, no,
they're basically basic thing that's me and it's a list
of forty plus people. Look, what they're saying is you
should be able to come here and if you during
your job when you work hard and you're having to
find somebody and fall in love with, if we here
at safe company, we support that. Now, granted, I know
(06:47):
the flip side of that doesn't always work out well,
but still, there's a different atmosphere in most places, so
all situations aren't the same. That's an exception to the rule,
and exceptions don't change the rules. Like like, I believe
in having sex with co workers, but there are industries
in which you can work where that's fine. So as
(07:08):
we get into office party season book or her yacht,
who has worked in a very high stress corporate environment.
We won't name the companies that she's been at, but
I don't that's not one of them. Um pepsia, before
(07:33):
we get to her yacht's office party stories, because I'm
sure she has wanted to. UH, she has this lists.
Let's hear Rod, and I want to see how you
feel about this list. It's from dot com on some
of the worst mistakes you can make at an office party.
I'll just run them down real quick number one. Don't
skip the party. Don't dress an appropriate leader. I agree
(07:55):
with that. You gotta keep your thing. You can't show
nobody nothing new that they hadn't already seen. It offers,
because when you show that top meat, the men get
the UH. Don't get drunk, don't look bored, don't be antisocial,
don't go in without a plan, don't flirt and don't
let you or your guests make a fool of you.
(08:19):
You know that last one very well. What happened, right?
Is there something I should know? Talking about the racist
that I took to this party one time. You know,
don't just step over that. I didn't know she was racist. What?
Excuse me? She didn't. Black people can't be racist. She
(08:41):
was prejudice talking about happening. So I was dating this girl.
This is years ago, by the way. Let me at
a little timeline of this so folks don't be thinking
about the wrong woman. Um this I was still living
in California and I was stating this girl and she
(09:04):
was very pro black and I'm I'm fairly pro black
and I, you know, like you talk to people about
blackness and black and black and African and African history
and I've dated women like that in the past and
it's not and it's it's more of a commonality between
us than a difference. So I take it to this.
This I was I was working on a Sitcom and
(09:25):
I took it to an office party that we were having.
It's like some end of the year rat party. Hey,
we're gonna go drink and celebrate that. We did turn
up a though, through the TV show. I'm the only
black person. We are the only black people, essentially in
the cast at this party and white people are trying
to hug her and she's you ever seen that heisman
trophy with that arm still out? She said that heisman
(09:49):
and every white person to the point where it was
awkward and like like I like stand in front of
her when I introduced her to discourage the hugging and
people are trying to it was yeah, yeah, car ride home.
(10:16):
You Find People Twenty minute car ride home outside the
Comedy Club to twenty minute car ride home. She goes
into this rant about how much she hates white people,
she cannot stand and I never knew this about her
(10:37):
and I don't know how you work around them. I
don't even know how you work in that job. I
don't know how you could do that to your like
it was. We ended up breaking up like a month
later for other stuff, but it was a legitimate issue
for her that that was where I worked, and I'm
like fuck, I can't bring your amunt S. next day
at work everybody teases me for bringing a Black Panther
(11:01):
to the Christians to the party and that, but that's embarrassing.
Like it was really fucking embarrassing and I really felt
fucking dumb. Let us a life lesson, though. I agree
it was embarrassing, but you didn't do your due diligence
and learn more about this woman. What I'm supposed to do?
(11:23):
Watch a white TV show with her at night and
see it ground with the screen or some ship. It's
just like doing a job interview. You need to ask
the right questions. How militant, I mean, how militant was she? Casual,
but she wasn't militart black and there's a difference. And
so militant means you were against the system or against
(11:43):
the thing. Like we never got into anti police conversations
or why black kids shouldn't be over. It was just
I love my people. Yeah, I never saw white people together. Yeah,
but she I mean, that's the same thing. I mean
that's the same thing. If you heard a white person
say that, you've been all this. MOTHERFUCKER's racist to know
that I am in a career where I will repeatedly
(12:05):
work around white people. You think I could have took
her to the confess fletch premier and have her John Ham?
I mean. So I can't be with you based on
how you feel about people in the world, because I'm
gonna be around some of them people in the world
because that's how I get my money. I'm sorry, I
tried to make it work. I tried my best. Yat
(12:27):
Office parties, are you a fan of them? Yes or now? Um,
I was a fan of them when I was young
because I liked free liquor. But I think that there's
this thing that happens when there's a open tab, you
drink more than you need to, as if you've never
seen alcohol. But when I moved into sales, we there's
(12:52):
a lot of partying and drinking and entertaining clients. You
have a corporate card, which is the most dangerous thing
because we can put our card down for anything and
basically just expense it. Um, so my first foray into
this was, like I had recently just it was like
a month into the job. We had not so much
a holiday party, but it was a sales retreat. So
(13:15):
I just met these people. These are like new, brand
new coworkers of mine, and I think this was like
day two or at night too, and so we're all
getting drunk. I mean the C R O is there.
Everyone's there, like all the executives, and they're getting drunk too.
And so there's me, another black cop to other black
(13:38):
colleagues of mine, a Latino Dude, and the C R O,
or was the CFO whatever, the one who heads up sales.
He was a c suite person, and he was telling
us about how much he loved wrap growing up, and
so he's over here being like, you know, I was
so into wrap growing up, and this guy is like
(14:01):
in his fifties. So he's like quoting like eighties nineties wrap,
and then I forgot what song it was, but he
starts wrapping it word for word, and so the n
word comes up, he don't skip it. What the CFO
is sitting here. I just met him this a month in. ME,
my black colleague, Black and Brown colleagues are sitting there
(14:24):
and he's wrapping nigger. Did it up. Niggers goes, I'M
DONNA NIGGAS stop. Like one of my co workers is like, okay,
don't say that word again, but continue. So he we were.
(14:45):
I was just like shocked. I was also under the influence,
and so I remember after it happened, he left, we
were trying to do like this postmortem, like, did that
just happen? Like the highest like our boss is boss,
is boss, is dropped the n word in front of this. So,
I mean he was a grown ass man's I think
(15:05):
it's dangerous for everybody. Imagine if Royce INS was at
that party. Oh my God, she would have you believe
you let that white man reped it inward and you
didn't punch him in the face. If you're a man
or not. I thought I was with a man. So, Jacqueline,
I'm going to give you two options here. What do
you mean? Matter of fact? Let's just let's do the
(15:26):
Ami and then we'll do engagement after the break, before
we get to the school teacher, we can tell the
story of our time at the Emmy Awards and the
daily show party and the Emmy's after Party and that
other party we went to, because this was like basically
a night of consecutive office parties, all with alcohol involved.
(15:51):
But I'll hold onto which one of or four of
your co Co Workers? Okay, Oh, ship, okay, okay, okay,
once they knew you and I weren't together, J G,
you you carry a different skew in a party, like here's,
(16:12):
here's here's my thing. Right, should you flirt with a
CO workers plus one? Can you do that? Right? Well, no, yeah, absolutely,
if they if they're not together, they're not together. So,
J G, give me that. We we we run around
to a number of parties and people knew you were
(16:35):
with me but that we weren't together. What was that experience?
Because we weren't like walking around shoulder to shoulder the
whole Party. I was like, you know Jacqueline, she can
make friends with anybody. So I'm all right, I'M gonna
go over here and hang that's at you. I was
working the room, the meaning I was getting contacts, I
was meeting the executives. All I needed to do is
(16:57):
step through the door. So how are people moving around
you at these office parties? How do people move around you,
J G welcous, through some of these parties during Emmy's week.
You know, you ain't got the name which party specifically,
but tell me what was happening. He was getting your
booty grab was people grabbing your wrist? Let's just say
(17:19):
I met a lot of people who are interested in
getting to know me more. First off, Jacqueline was looking
goddamn stunning. Go to the job fair. socials who whatever,
whatever your socials are, go look at that address. Go
look at that. That is if there's ever a dress
shoes show shot at you ain't seen the back either.
(17:45):
Ride she had to back out. She had a little
classicals and she showing a little shoulder bladyship. Oh you're kind.
And there were men who don't look like us, and
this is perfectly fine, of all nationalities, who would come
up and touch my back and turned me towards them.
(18:08):
It was, it's very gentlemanly, it really was. That is
sexual harassment, is what that is. But it was not.
It was sexual harassment. So you could just go around
touching girls bags and turning them to you because you
want there. You don't. You don't touch the back like
you're just scrubbing their hand on the blackboard. Man, very beautiful.
(18:31):
I won't know. You have to clock in on this one. Well,
touch women and turn them around to you because you
want their tenching. They're not your harassment. Yes, a notebook
or her. Yet I'M gonna have to go with inappropriate
as someone who's been filt up on the red carpet
by celebrity. Just because you're a celebrity, and even if
(18:51):
you're good looking or even if you're wealthy, don't put
your hands on me. Well, it wasn't disrespectful the way
they touched me. It really wasn't. I been touched or tried.
Someone did actually to touch me disrespectfully, but I was fine.
It was disrespectful that they touched you, not how they
touched you. Okay, I see your point. This was going on.
(19:12):
I was, I was at these parties, but this is
going on. People passing by and rushing up against you
know absolutely. You left her alone. I want, I want,
I want. I'm gonna show you some pictures when we
get off to that whatever. Al Right, after the break,
Jack One is gonna tell us one of her engagement
(19:34):
stories and they'll be gonna jump into Rod's relationship fair
with a party with a bunch of school teachers. It
ended up in sex, and we're gonna let rob break
that down. It's a relationship fair with you right back,
(19:54):
Rod's relationship fair. It's time to get into it. Ride
and you have people stand and by telling US terrible
stories of office parties that turned into a little bit
of sex. We get a campaign worker that's going on
get with us at some point too. We got a
school teacher standing by, but first J G um. Also, real,
(20:14):
real quick, um in the dendum to earlier Jacqueline Um,
if anybody does touch you crazy at any function that
I'm at, please let me know immediately so I can
just you know, like, because you know what I felt
like being out. You know what it was like being
out with J G. Third, it was big brother vibes.
(20:36):
It was really the pictures gave a cool last big
brother big brothers. You know what I'm saying. I take
that like you seem to be like I would look
like if Jacqueline was like around two other black women black.
You seem safe. I will now go and work to him,
but then I'm coming back now to stories of just
me and just go yes, and then another man granted
(20:57):
me by the rest and was like where we going?
And at the week beven you tried to take me
to its helicopter and I was like, oh no, I
don't do helicopters, Nathan. You Know Kevin America, Capin America,
grab my ass and I had to be like Anthony mackist.
I think there's an addendum to the point of because
(21:20):
there are young women that listen to this show as
well and they have to understand how to deal with men,
because I don't. I don't know the best way to
say it, but there is a line that should be
walked and there is also something to be said about
how men approach you. I I have a sense of
(21:44):
if it's not above board, it's probably not gonna happen.
So that's just me and that's plus years of me
being me, because men come and go every day. It's
it's nothing. That is a normal and it's just me.
But I don't know how to help young women who
run into those things. I don't know. Yeah, what what
(22:06):
say you who yet, because you know you're also from
this era of just getting your booty grabbed at an
office function and apparently people freestyle and the inwards two
feet from your face. You know, how how should young
women handle these inappropriate gestures that happened at their job,
(22:28):
while also trying to keep their jobs? You know, I've
seen really uncomfortable things happen at at holiday parties, Um,
when people are excessively drunk. I think it's really just
making sure, Um, you have people around that can kind
of witness it and so you don't feel like you're
ever cornered on your own. But also, I don't know,
(22:50):
I think that it's okay to just tell people like,
don't touch you, that I don't feel comfortable. You know,
you do in fact put those creeps on blast. I
understand the politics of trying to keep your job and
how hard it must be to be a woman in
these situations, because life is so oppressive to women around
the globe, regardless of race, you know. But one thing
(23:14):
you can't do, ladies, because that that locker room talk
ship is real. Like, dudes talk and dudes don't understand
that being inappropriate. We'll just tell another dude these stories
and he must be corrected by the dude to that point.
But one thing you can do, if you don't wanna,
you know, rock the boat and get yourself put on
(23:34):
some sort of list. Put the creep on blast personally
and one on one situation, because trust me, he will
run back and tell the rest of the fellas about
how he touched you inappropriately and you got very attitudal
and whatnot. So stay away from that one. That's true.
Threatening them with some sort of physical harm or some
(23:56):
ship like that, threatening to tell on them. That won't
really but if you come across like somebody who, like,
is not gonna stand for this ship, he will put
the word out that you're not gonna stand for that ship.
Like that's what happened a couple of years ago when women,
when women's rights and when I first started coming to
the forefront, and a lot of dudes were talking, you know,
(24:19):
even on social media, about how like, like, you can't
tell a woman she looks good and things like that,
like I'm scared to talk to women. Now it's like good,
that's the fucking point. If you're the exact dude that
they're trying to get to not talk to them. So
if not being inappropriate with a woman makes you scared
to talk to women, you are the type of creep
(24:41):
that they're fucking talking to and about. And See, I
just had to grow up in all of this because
in my twenties I didn't use my words well. So
if I'm in a space or whatever, someone grabs my arm,
grabs my hand, I grab their neck. It catches them
off guard. Yes, yeah, and then in my thirties I
(25:01):
learned how to use were. I was like what, you
grab a man by his nick really fast, out of nowhere? Oh,
he's scared out of his mind. And in my twenties, yeah,
I would grab your neck out of nowhere. Are you
missed a spot? Pinch like knockout spot. voking differently. Are
you like pinching the Esophage, like grab the whole neck,
(25:23):
or could that esophagus? Pinch that and squeeze on the
side that pub in his karate? One thing I would
add to is anytime someone's touched me or grabbed my
arm or put their hand on my waist, I immediately
grabbed their hands dramatically and lifted off to show them
(25:45):
that I don't like them touching me. and that's usually
triggered to a dude where it's like Oh, my bed,
my bed, like Oh, I realized of them girls don't
like to be touched in the club inappropriately. You wanted
a new age exactly. Yeah, but if you let him
get away with it, they are now ever going to
as this tradition with every rose relationship. Fair Jaquelin has
(26:08):
to tell us one of her four point five engagement stories,
so I will go with the one that involves fried chicken,
not loose diamonds. I'll hold loose diamonds because that one's
so simple, but it's still very sweet. Yeah, loose diamonds. Anyway. So,
long story short, and with this guy that I really like,
we dig each other, we really do. We are compatible
(26:31):
on every plane, I kid you not. So I don't
know if it was a Saturday or if it was
a Sunday, but we were cooking and we were making
coaslaw and I like apples in my coaslaw, and he
sees in some chicken and I was frying it. So
after he sees in that chicken and I get those
two little bags out, I'm gonna put some flour in there,
(26:52):
and makes some chicken and put it in the grease
or whatever, he gets a beer and go sit down
and watch us a game. Fine, that the kitchen works
perfectly for me. I'm frying chicken and I looked at
my right and this fool is on his knee with
a ring in his hand. He just came out of nowhere,
(27:13):
compatible on every level. Let's now. This fool is on
his knee. How long had you all been dating? J G?
Maybe swell? Fourteen months? Maybe months? Yeah, I mean exacinitely.
(27:36):
You've been married. You've been married once, correct, and this
man you were happy. Y'All were compatible in every way imaginable.
It's this the man you the one man you married. No,
it's not happy. I don't like that. This is in
(27:59):
front of me for proposal and no, we've never got there.
This is a confusing story. It is not ausing we
just say he had a really tragic incident. I won't
say what, because then people will know who he is.
After that, I just knew I couldn't deal with this anymore.
I was too young to try to help him through that.
I didn't know about mental health at that time. So
(28:22):
it was just over. We couldn't. Okay, so he had
some problems and you know how to deal with him.
You Ain't know how to help him. I felt like
more problems than what it was worth. And then, after
that problem, one day y'all in the kitchen frying chicken
and you turned around and he owned one. No, no, no, no,
all the problem thing happened like a month after we
got engaged. So you did. I only say yes, weird
(28:49):
relationship and romantic theories and some of the most weird ship,
and she started the story when we were perfect for
each other. I said yes, yeah, I had to break
up with and so you said, yeah, you finished frying
a chicken. He goes out, has something terrible happened to him,
from which he was mentally shattered. You didn't know how
to put him back together. He didn't know how to
put himself back together. So, rather than to help his man,
(29:13):
it's so stop on his motherfucking wound. Handed him back
that ring. Now, did you hand back to ring? Steven asked, motherfucker, Hey, man, reversides,
suck up again. J Ain't talking about and you slipped
(29:34):
out of the middle of the night ring. No, no, no, no,
that ship the easy Paul, and actually it was the
right thing to do. It was the best thing to do.
It took him much longer than anyone ever imagined for
him to get over what happened and his mother still
(29:57):
to this day, she'll send me a text message and
you'll say every last one of them, he's just looking
for you, and I'm like no, why don't you go
back up and got this stuff back together? It sounds
like he was your man. I don't go backwards. It's
it's my own little thing. Such a UN what's you,
(30:17):
my ex? You Pretty Much Dad to your boy. I
don't Neber. Can you find? Nobody? We're not looking at
look at that's not even the same person. Want you,
my ex, that we ain't fucking no more. We ain't
about to be fucked buddies, nothing. But I don't. I
(30:39):
don't go backwards. I mean you can call, we can talk,
we can chat, we can hang, but most men who
created me as well, they make sure they don't call me.
They block me because their girlfriends and wives. Roy is
a dolphins fan, so what I'm trying to say is
he already likes paining, so he's cool going back. I
don't like meeting New People. It is much easier to
(31:04):
go to someone from my past and going, did you
figure it out? I think I've figured it out, and
then we both go yeah, we figured it out and
then we try again. Y'All haven't figured it out, but
it's just I don't know that that seems easier. Okay,
(31:24):
J G, now that we've established your type of person,
let's get it to you keep the ring Keet, the
ring from the broken man, ring back. You don't have
to give the ring back at all. This man lost
all of his limbs or whatever he lost. That's what
(31:49):
that's what we're gonna Sayn tell had a mental breakdown
and don't tell us what it is. We've always business
out there, right. He had he had a fake leg
and he still man. He lost all his limbs and
then was attacked by a chimpanzee, was mauled and he
(32:16):
came back in that house and that Goddamn skateboard and
you knew you didn't want to be with a man
that had to get around on the skateboard now and
a good person. I promised you if I called him
right now, he would show up no matter what, because
he's a good person. Beat back. Do you go back
(32:36):
with Um? I think it's a SGITTARIOUS and that's Roy
were just lazy. Thank you. I've been in situations where
it's like I might as well just you know, but
I've done that, got all that's wise. Yeah, sometime, you know,
I'm used to this, but in relationship I think it's hard.
(33:00):
I think it depends on why you broke up, because
I do kind of agree with Jj and in the
sense that it's hard to get back into a past
relationship because it's the fear of like you gotta Rehash
all the ship that was like ahead. Can't just forge ahead,
but unpacking all of the corrosion and fixing that and
(33:20):
getting the car refurbished and back out on the road.
It's much easier buying a new car. You know that
many cars you got to drive before you find the
car you like. When you got one, right back there
the dealership, you're going to just deal with and be
satisfied with the new cars and try to like make
(33:41):
that I'm interested in learning a new person. I want
to learn about a new person. I want to see
different things and I want a different experience. If you
feel like he was a good guy. The only thing,
the only issue was what was happening with him at
that period of time and he's moved on from that,
(34:03):
then I would contemplate it. Now while Y'all all out
there on first dates, trying to figure it out and
asking stupid ship like your favorite TV show. I'm gonna
find this girl from sixth grade and run it back.
I don't care how far the Y is. Calling up
old we refurbishing old cars around here, having the same
(34:23):
argument from thousand seven. Let's get into the relationship fair.
Who Do we have on the line? J G, and
let them serve up this amazing us on the job
sescapade to ride. We welcome Danielle. She is a private
(34:45):
school teacher based in New Jersey. She recently wrote to
us about a messy affair that took place a few
years ago between two teachers she worked with and that
also happened to be her friends. Hello, Danielle, how are
you right? Face? We're talking in a private school. I
(35:09):
know it's gonna be good. You know what it is?
Everybody at a private school a freak. Students, staff, felt
I don't know about the kid I work with high schoolers,
so I try not to think about them like that,
but I will say it's it's a mess among the faculty.
It's it's a mess, like messy. This is this is
(35:32):
like one of several stories from this one job. So
this was a few years ago. Um, the people involved,
I was both friends, with one closer than the other. Uh,
the I T person. His name is Jorgey. Um, he
was a really good friend of mine. We like became
(35:53):
friends as soon as we started working together. So he
was a good friend of mine in the other person
involved in this is Camilla, who is the Spanish teacher. Um,
she was a friend. Right, we knew each other because
we worked together. She was really cool. We would chat
get drinks after work. Um, but it actually all started
(36:17):
with a Work Party. So one thing you gotta know
with teachers, especially private school teachers, straight alcoholics. Just every
every like Friday, going out for drinks. So work parties
aren't Oh, you know, whatever the school pays for, we'll
(36:41):
have a couple of drinks, two hours, like this is
a guarantee, like seven hours. People, people put in Ubers
and and it's a good seven hours. It's like you
you don't have to buy a drink, right, somebody's paying.
Who is who is sanctioning this? Like going back to
teaching private school? Yeah, so they would normally they would pay.
(37:04):
It'd be like four hours of like drinks and food,
and then the rest would be like normally it was
somebody's supervisor, right, so would be like the principal, the
vice principal, Um, the guy who's head of I t.
They would all buy round like and actually one person,
he frequently would just leave his card and he would
(37:25):
just be like, buy drinks until, you know, you reach
this amount or it's been a few hours, and then,
you know, just bring my car back the next day. But,
like they this is like a real morale boost. This
is like, you know, we we've been working hard, less
party hard, um, but it it gets wild. It gets
(37:47):
wild because people get waste. So okay, so jorge again,
was a friend of mine. We chat this party. It
was it was kind of why out. It was a
whole bunch of stuff going on. Um, I had this
one CO worker, this guy who was like in his sixties,
just randomly was hanging out with us. Got Super wasted.
(38:11):
Had to figure out how to get him home. It
was a lot going on, but I noticed throughout the
night Camilla kept flirting with him right and like, you know,
saying really suggestive stuff. But the thing I left at
is Camilla is married, or hey has a living girlfriend
(38:32):
and he's been with for like five years at that.
You know, you know a plus B. You know that'll
give me c. But I was like, this don't make sense.
So I'm trying to run interference like a good friend,
like a terrible friend, like, you know, some people wasted
(38:56):
making bad decisions. I'm like, you know, let me, let
me stop these people from hurting themselves. So grown people
are talking about. These are grown people yet, right, you know,
but but you can't stop no grown people from doing
what they're gonna do. No, I respect that, though they're drunk.
(39:18):
It's not like this has been some sober flirting that's
happened over weeks and weeks. This is some spur of
the moment. I don't years old. There they know what
the funk they're doing. They've been hiding, is why they
were sober. This is like when your homeboy says that
he about to try to have sex with a strip
of rod and you just gotta be like Hey, man, don't,
(39:39):
don't cut the same thing. Don't let you want sleep
with a strip of let him sleep with a teacher. Oh,
go ahead, go ahead, Dang well, so commit has thrown
it at Jorgey I'm just like, I don't know what's
(39:59):
happen here. And again it's like it's a whole bunch
of other stuff to deal with. So everybody's waisted. We
wrap up, we go home. I'm like super drunk, but
there's another person going the same way as me, so
she's like let's walk together. I'm like all right, whatever.
So we're walking down the Road Jorge and Camilla Um.
(40:20):
They happen to both live in Queens right, and they
conveniently live within two blocks of each other. Like this
is a conversation years ago, right home together. So it
wasn't weird, like and they were like we're gonna take
the uber home the Queen's. I was like, all right, whatever,
(40:42):
I don't care. I'm walking down the road, it's snowy,
it's winter. I'm walking with this like Nosey broad next
to me and it's two people just slobbing each other
down on the sidewalk, just just going ham and it's
just like what. So I'm, you know, I'm in the city,
(41:04):
being here too long, so I'm yelling at these people
where I'm like, you know, get a room, move on,
and I keep walking. You God. But but yeah, the
(41:26):
person I was walking with goes, Oh, is that who
I think it is, and I said I don't I
don't know. I ain't seen nothing, and she was like no,
that's that was Horhean came. That was and I was like, look,
I don't know what you saw. I see nothing. I
see nothing, and I just keep walking at me like
I was crazy. I was like, girl, I don't see nothing.
(41:47):
After you yelled at them because you saw them. Now
you ain't seen nothing. I feel like. I feel like
it took her seeing them ride for her to become
a good friend, that she eventually became like a room.
Who are you talking to? Nobody. Do they keep sucking Danielle,
because I'm for sure they fucked it. It ain't nobody,
(42:10):
just going the first base with the coworker. They've been
taking Uber's home together for months. This was that party
was the first time you saw them, not the first
time they've ever been flirt with each other. They've probably
been fingering for six months, and I will say kind
of in Camilla's defense, I guess. So they keep the
(42:35):
affair going this, this goes on for like over a year. Um,
poor hey acts like nothing is going on, like nothing
like ain't nothing. Camilla. No. So eventually I learned that
she's in an open relationship. Like so she she can
(42:59):
do whatever, right, that's that's between her and her man.
But je I have no proof that jorgey girlfriend knew.
Now his wife. Um, Oh yeah. So they kept the
fair going. It went on for over a year and
then they broke up because, apparently, horhe caught feelings, uh,
(43:24):
and Camilla was like, so really only one person was
cheating in this scenario that you've presented. So one person
was cheating and the other person had permission to go
outside their relationship. Um, which was all happening, and so
people had to pretend like it wasn't happening. Danielle, did, Um,
(43:45):
she ever tell you that this was a good love maker?
I mean, what happened here? She not for gave me details.
So what it was like in the bedroom? I mean,
they didn't stop fucking for a year. So everything you
need to know. It just might have been less rode
permission to funk whoever she wants, whenever she wants. So
(44:09):
she does only one. She was probably somebody who just
needed that twenty four hours a day, and he was
at the job at the time. If he's bad and
bad and she has permission to sleep with thirty other guys,
she wouldn't have kept him around if he was bad
in the sack. Daniel, let me ask you a question
real quick. As an educator and you've worked in the
public sector and the private sector, what is it about
(44:31):
the occupation of teacher? What is it about that job
that makes it so fucking sexually charged? One thing, part
of it is you spend all day like represhed, like
repressing your inner self, like it's like you know you
can't swear the kids. You know you can't be putting
them in headlocks. You know you yourself. So when you
(44:56):
get a moment too you know you lose your mind.
That's that's why you know a lot of people to drink.
I know a lot of people who teach US smoke.
They gotta do what they gotta do to like you stress.
Fun fact, most teachers drink vodka on the drop because
it doesn't really have a sense and you can't smell
it on you. So a lot of teachers like to
(45:17):
drink vodka at work. Can Be what else you WANTA?
Do you want? You want to know what kind of
condoms use? What what other perverted, perverted? It goes back
to something that rod actually said in a previous episode.
(45:37):
He said, and you chimed in on it, Roy, talking
about when you walk into a facility or building, you
look for spaces that you might be able to be intimate. So, Danielle,
where were they intimate? Uh Well, UM, so, talking to
the security person, there was like a part in one
(45:58):
of the stairwells where there was no cameras. They had
to walk around the police that area. Nasty. Well, Danielle,
we cannot thank you enough for calling in and contribute
in to Rod's relationship. Fair. Do what you can to
stop snitching so much on people and running the business. Hater.
(46:23):
Let's even get the sucking funk on if they want
to get the sucking grown. I always say I've been
a I've been a snitch my whole life. I used
to snitch on my older sister. So you know this
is this is just me continuing a job that I've
I've been fulfilling since I was a kid. Consistency. You
need to get out of the DIGON job and go
(46:44):
into the law enforcement area, since you like so much.
I'm a prosecute US some ship. Thank you, Daniel have
a good one after the break. More Rod's relationship fairs
to job fair. Will be right back Rod's relationship fair.
(47:13):
We tread on. We go from the world to teach it.
I forgot you why you ain't let me sing, to
teach a song to Danielle last break, Jacqueline, because I
want Danielle to come back on the show. Teachers on.
We got a scene the teacher wake up, Oh teachers,
baby heaven that six y'All be getting fucking don't use
(47:37):
no condoms. Your wife didn't know that. You're sucking at
work and now you got a baby. And this is
the thing that I love about the relationship, fair rode.
I love that that through your weird analysis of the world,
because you gotta keep in mind these people were not
(47:58):
called to tell me and jacqueline stories. It's going to
talk to you like. I don't know what it is
about you rock, but you you give people an ability
to just this. Danielle just called and snitched on hand
for a cobor because she probably still worked with them.
Changed the city or nothing. Nothing. She just yeah, he
lives in Queens two blocks from the woman he fucking
(48:22):
light skin. He's a light skinned port a dark skinned
Porto region named Camilla, who lived two blocks from people.
Feel open sharing with you raw tales of sex and
escapades that happened within the workplace and a lot of
jobs that I didn't know you could be fucking on.
I did not know door to door political canvassing was like.
(48:47):
You want to talk about where the FUNK Jacqueline? They
ain't even know stairwell, when you're going door to door,
this is a valid question. You show up at the
Right House, somebody might let you use that guest bathroom.
Now I'm doing bad. Walk me through that conversation then, Rod,
walk me through that. How you start that conversation? Not Now,
gonna do yes, I'm here to talk to you about voting.
By the way, can I one of my co workers
(49:10):
that's also canvassing with me? Well, if it's one thing
people hate more than a telephone call, it's a knock
at their door. And if it's one thing that you
really don't want to do is knock at people's doors
for a living, we have somebody on who does just that.
J G. Who Do we have on a relationship? Fair,
we have long term long time Listener Matt from Austin, Texas.
(49:30):
Matt previously worked on political campaigns in Illinois and Wisconsin
as a campaign field staff member. That basically means he
worked face to face with voters, is what I'm told.
He's described the role as west wing meets, one of
the employees from superstore, and while on the campaign trail,
(49:55):
Matt witness and experienced his fair share of crazy eight years.
And that includes interns having sex at donors houses and
for guns being dropped on him the door, not at
(50:15):
the same time, just to make you clear. So yeah,
thanks for clarifying man. I think the biggest thing that
drew me to this job is that in some of
these races, especially local races, two hundred and fifty to
three hundred votes can change political leadership in the town. Yeah,
and and for some of these places that's just one
or two churches that you can do. Look, it's also
the polls campaign with Um. You know, it's one good
(50:38):
organizer who can make a big difference as far as
meeting people, having events, getting another community and building that trust.
And it's probably the most rewarding job I've ever had.
It's as as funny and entertaining as some things can be,
and as scary as it can be sometimes, it ended
up being one of those kinds of jobs where, most
of the time feel better when you go sleep. Wow,
(51:01):
that's do but. But for right now, Matt, let's talk
about this fucking that be happening ship. So what type
of flirting is going on on this job? What is
the FRAT nization type situation on this job? Are Y'all
pay it off in Pairs? Are you in groups? Like?
(51:25):
How can you, how can you break HR rules within
this construct? How is this set up? In a field,
political job, there's there's a up, you know, there's there's
almost no HR. No. So, Um, campaigns are running almost
entirely off of really optimistic young college kids, Um, and
(51:46):
people want to change the world, and you're often kind
of the reason why these people are kind of targeted,
because you're young and you don't know anybody. You're you're
willing to work, you know, a fourteen hour day and
get paid six a month and sleep on a couch
because you want to make the world a better place. Um,
and when you spend that much time with certain people
and you know you're all kind of grinding together. You know,
(52:09):
with the little that you have Um, that you end
up spending Um and forming some pretty weird relationships that
kind of come out of it, especially when there might
be five of you in our office and the five
of you hate everyone else, you guys interact with, you know,
but you love each other. Clicked up sometimes, sometimes, I mean,
(52:30):
I don't want to I don't want to make it
sound like everyone, everybody's fucking in a campaign office across America,
but it seems so. Then the issue of proximity and
struggle creates this this inevitable stew of sooner or lated.
You know, the whole point of a field organizer and
a political campaign is to be able to go out
(52:52):
and try and essentially turn your campaign, your your candidate
into a multi level or multi level marketing scheme where
you're getting people to give their time and their resources
to the campaign for pretty much nothing in exchange Um.
And that means you'll have somebody who's twenty or twenty
one years old overseeing a whole group of adults who
some of them might be totally fine people and some
(53:13):
of the might want to wild out and uh so,
you know. So that can lead to some pretty Um,
awful situations. For example, I'll tell you, guys the story.
We lost a primary Um in Illinois and it was
a race that we were expected to blow out. So
it was supposed to be a party that we were
going to the night of Election Day. It ended up
(53:34):
being like a funeral. We just decided we're gonna get
the Hillary trump election way way before we decided we
were gonna yeah, uh no, we we decided that we
were going to go and just drink all the liquor
that we brought. Anyway, you know, just as a last rock,
we ended up going to the closest house that we
(53:55):
had nearby, which was a house provided to us by
a donor who had maxed out of the contribution. We
called this house fantasia. It had like nineteen bedrooms. It
was an amazing place. Um, yeah, it was very cool,
one of the coolest experiences ever, you know. Um, and
as you're going in, no one's supposed to be there
except of the people who are staying there, which is
about four, four of us. And now all of a
(54:17):
sudden we have fifteen, twenty people there and uh, you know,
campaign management shows up and yeah, they well, they weren't
very happy about it because, you know, that's exactly what
they're seeing. But they just lost a really brutal race,
so they do not wanting to be addict to anybody,
you know, they just kind of wanted to hey, everybody
is a chill out and slow down. And after sending
enough people home and going through it, Um, we decided
(54:40):
a couple of extra people were going to say, including
campaign management. So as we're going around assigning rooms, person
the person, the campaign manager, you know, we opened up
the door and there's two interns just going right at
it in the room the person the power. They stopped
for a minute and then as as we shut the
door they went right back to so I don't think
(55:01):
anyone want to interrupt him. Truth be told, I don't
know what happened for stopping long enough to reckon over there.
That's the way I look at it. Are They married now, Matt?
I don't I don't think so. Two questions. Yeah, what,
I'M gonna learn how to control your microphone. So they
had sex that night. So they're married now? Right, no, grandma,
(55:25):
it was a really, really good hug. That's what it was.
You know what, I've had no idea what happened to
these guys, but I hope that somewhere there together, you know,
in someone else's bedroom. We can't thank you enough for
coming on the show and thank you for the past
(55:47):
emails to the show. We appreciate you for being a
friend and forgiving a damn about politics at some point
in this dysfunctional as country. We appreciate you for calling
into the relationship. Thank you. Thank you. Well, that was
nice him. That was nice to him to call in
with that. Like Rod, I just feel like when people
are having sex and other people's houses, I think it's rude.
(56:08):
Why do you think keep your shoes on? And the
Nigga House type ship, like, why are you working in
my house? Dog? That's some hater ship. Man. I don't
know how many political parties y'all have been to. UH,
political parties tend to get down, like you know, once
the political party to go down, let me let me
tell you. So let me tell you about political parties.
I'm not I don't want to disparage anybody, so I'm
(56:31):
not gonna say any names. But, UM, a couple a
couple of years ago, I did a did a comedy
show down in Tuscalooson and the time we did the
show the same night as a governor election in Alabama.
So I so we hit up, we hit Jimmy Jones
(56:54):
after the show and I finished eating a page. I
go outside to get my small so I'm standing in
the parking Lo's smoking. Up Pulls this Rickety Ass van
with what is obviously two prostitutes in it. I mean
I'm talking, we're talking. Everybody in this governor's race is white.
(57:17):
Two the twenty year old black strippers pull up in
a get out of the car and they asked me
if they were driving the van and they asked me
where the governor's election party was, and I'm just like
two comedians looking for the venue. I'm like, first of all,
(57:39):
what kind of nigger on the street just knows where
election headquarters is for somebody that night? And why can't
you text the secretary, Whoever told you the governor want
you to come shakes the masks and such some Dick
and make some cash? Why can't you text them and
get the directions of the address? And Bunch of GPS.
(57:59):
At those parties there's a certain time it's time to go.
Once the cameras leave is going down down. It seems
that the theme of both of these relationship fairs to
me is just if you don't want your employees fucking,
stop throwing parties from stop throwing dope parties. I mean
really honestly, the only thing you can do to stop
(58:22):
your employees from fucking is not having any goddamn employees.
Human things are going to have sex. Sex is a need,
whether you need to not have sex or you need
to have sex. However you feel about sex, you're going
to get it, you're going to have and you put
(58:43):
a bunch of random people in a room, just speaking
from a math standpoint, the percentage, there's a percentage of
people in that room are going to end up sucking
and fucking. It's just life. But what is it about
work parties that make people feel like, all right, now
is the time? Honestly, you know what it is. This
(59:05):
is what it is after you, after you get out
of school, whether that's high school or college, once you
get away from school, the amount of people you're put
around in which to pull your sex partners for up
drops tremendously right like in high school, Middle School, Elementary School, College,
(59:26):
your date people, because that's your social circle. You know
what I mean. Once you graduate from High School and
college and going to the workforce, that Daily Group of
men and women you're put around, your new social circle
is everybody at your job. So eventually people in that group,
(59:49):
just like all your groups from school, people are going
to start fucking because we're not corporate drones, were not
worker bees, people, these are human beings at your job. Yeah,
they're that will do a job, but in between working
they're just gonna be human. The Work Party is nothing
but the club with the fucking. I D on it right.
(01:00:10):
And then you know they're in the third floor bathroom.
They't even know they work with each other and they
were nothing else. You can really do about it. Like
I'm just I think the man is preaching right now.
You know what I'm saying. People are gonna have sex.
It's no difference than abstinence, only sex education and ain't
stopping nobody from fucking. No, just might increase bill jobs
and ain't on. All right, so then our Christmas party
(01:00:35):
is awful. I would just send it one. That's the show.
Right's relationship fair. As a product of Comedy Central, I
heart media, South Park and Preston productions ride. Thank you,
as always, for helping these people navigate the minefield that
is the office party. It's a good time. No, it's
(01:00:58):
not a good time. Right, it's a good term to
get fired. I'll tell you what, I'll give you a
good time. Holiday Party story has no, no sexuality involved.
I had a job where I worked with two of
the dumbest people I've ever met and one time we
had a Christmas party and after you know, we come
(01:01:22):
back to work that Monday and you know, everybody was
recounting the night and you know what they did afterwards.
One of the ladies goes, well, the rest of my
night wasn't that good because I ended up in the hospital.
So of course we're all like, oh my God, like
what happened? She was like, I don't know, I had
some sort of allergic reaction to something, but I'm always
(01:01:44):
on top of that, so I don't know how it happened.
And the other woman who worked out, who was one
of the other people ever met, she goes because they
were they were like they've been best friends there, but
she was like, well, I saw you drinking in Saint
Gria and it had orange slices in it and I
swear to God, the one who went to the hospital says, well,
(01:02:05):
that can't be it. I'm allergic to oranges. Allergic that
orange juice, not oranges, and it was just like the
horses comes from. You, idiot, not allergic that orange juice.
You allergic to rage music. It got to be the
dumbest motherfucker. Absolutely, we can't. We can't work around people.
(01:02:30):
These are people in decision making positions behaving like this
on a regular basis. This is very sad. Is that serious? Bro?
She watched Sangria have orange slices it and she'd just
be good, oh, it's cool to drink that. I'm not
allergic that orange, is just the juice. I mean, calm
a people, slices. Can't get sick of slices. I'm not allergically,
(01:02:50):
just just it's just not oranges in it. It's like
that's fucking in sae. dumbest things I've heard about fucking
life before, Royce job fad dot time. If you want
to be a part of the next rights relationship pair,
which we'll do in a few months, if you want
to be a part of the show in general, man,
that's the show and we'll see you all next week.
This has been a comedy Central Podcast
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