November 26, 2024 • 24 mins
In this week's episode of Señora Sex Ed, Diosa and Mala sit down with Eden and Jay Treviño, the dynamic married-duo behind Preciosa Night, a movement to celebrate and empower the BIPOC LGBTQ+ community. Eden and Jay share their whirlwind love story, their IVF journey, and why radical honesty is at the heart of their digital content.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Amika, what are you doing this weekend?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Why where are we going?
Speaker 1 (00:05):
I heard about a party called Brescio Sunny. It's going
viral on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Senora Senora, Senora, Senora.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
S Hi Senora.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Welcome to Senora sex Ed Senora sex Said is not
your Mommy's sex Talk. This show is la platica like
you've never heard it before. With each episode, we're breaking
the stigma and silence around sex and sexuality in LATINX communities.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Latinas have been hyper sexualized in popular culture, but notoriously
denied sex education. This podcast is an intergenerational conversation between
Latinas from gen X to Gen Z, covering everything from
puberty and body image to representation in film, television, and music.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Just a reminder that in this show, a Senora is
a woman with a lot of life experiences and stories
to share. Maybe she's thirty, maybe she's forty, she's fifty
or older. Maybe she's trans, maybe she's sis.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
We are your hosts and producers, Viosa and Mala.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
You might recognize us from our flagship podcast, Lokata Radio.
Since twenty sixteen, we've covered all kinds of topics, ranging
from politics, to mental health, current events, and of course sex.
We still have so much to learn and we hope
you listen to each episode with the Senoras and Senoritas
in Your Life Chapter fifteen, Plesiosas. Today, we're joined by
(01:52):
Jay and Eden Trevigno. They're both social media influencers, content creators,
and founders of Josa Night, a queer movement and party.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
I get to just professionally love you, and I feel
like I manifested that, Like I just want to be
paid to love you every day.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Both Eden and Jay were determined to live their best
single lives before they met.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
I had just come out of like a really horrible,
toxic relationship and I just wanted to I like bought
a new sports car, I got a dog. I was like,
I'm going to live my best single life. I'm going
to go on dates and like nothing serious. And then
I met her and I was like, okay, shit, it
just got real. Like my plans just went like completely
(02:36):
different from what I expected. We were both like in
our very excited single summer era. I had just gotten
out of like a really long relationship. But then also
I was like still grieving and dealing with a lot.
I had lost my mom to cancer just a few
months before we met, and I was still in like
full spiral and I wasn't I think at that point,
(02:57):
I was just dating to get out of the house
and not you know, slip further into depression.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
And I, you know, don't even know what I was looking.
It was just kind of like gnomeness untw our first
date and it was like the first time I felt
my heart beat again and I felt excited, and I
felt like it was just that cliche you know, when
you know you know, and I remember seeing you for
the first time and I felt like getting hit by
(03:25):
a buzz And I don't know why.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
This always makes me want to cry.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Eden was forty five minutes late to their first date,
and to make up for it, she thought of different
ways to keep their date going.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
I knew like my life was never going to be
the same, and I have to do anything humanly possible
to keep this first date going because I was forty
five minutes late. I need to keep this going because
I know the moment I let you go, I'm never
going to see you again. For some reason, it's so.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
Funny because like our dinner date had ended and my
second date. I kept pushing because she like extended the
first date. And then I excuse myself to the restroom
and I text the second girl and I was like, hey,
like I'm running a little behind, but I'll be there
in like.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
An hour and a half.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
And I think it was like her friend's birthday party,
and it was like I was gonna meet the friends,
like it was like a It was like like a
big deal.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
How embarrassing, I know.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
And then I came back to the table Ediden's like
do you want to go find ice cream? Like I
want dessert, and like let's go walk on the beach
because it was in Venice. Just go walk on the beach,
and like I didn't want to let her go because
it felt right, like it felt like I should be there,
and it just kept escalating.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
We are like stalling here, and then hours go by,
it started to get dark, and then it kind of
feels like I'm running out of ideas. And then I
searched up a movie theater nearby in Sidamonica, and I
was like and by the playing The Lion King, Like,
do you want to go see it with me? I
always want to see it. I have two tickets to
go see it today.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
And by that point, like the second girl is so mad,
like just like you're lying, like you never were gonna come,
and the first place like I just I'm just gonna
turn my phone off, like I don't know what to
do right now.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
And then we saw the lion King and then we
were like, okay, this naturally feels like I'm running out
of ideas. What am I going to do? And then
you were like, Okay, well I guess I'll see you
and I was like yeah, and then I think you
just random We asked you what plans do you have yeah,
for the rest of the week, and I was like, oh,
I'm moving, and then you offered You're like, hey, if
(05:26):
you ever need help moving, let me know.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Thinking that she was going to like hit me up
later that week. She's like, oh, yeah, you can help
me tonight.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
I was like, you should help me move right now.
Actually I could use a lot of help moving today
to let's go back to my place and you know,
we can move these boxes together, and I think that
would be great. But you didn't say.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
No, I didn't. I just came yeah, no, I didn't.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
And now we're married and had a baby, We hope.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
You're enjoying this conversation. Stay tuned, there's more to come.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Thanks for sticking around. We are back.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Eden and Jay began dating in twenty nineteen, eloped in
twenty twenty, and are now on their journey to become parents.
Jay always knew she wanted to be a mother, but
Eden spent most of her life certain she never wanted kids.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I never wanted kids. And that was something that my
mother and I used to like bump heads a lot
because I was very set on even as like a
young girl, I never want kids. I never want to
get married. Those are like my two I'm going to
die on this hill and my mom and I like
all the way up until the end. And it was
like one of the last things she told me before
(06:40):
she died and is that I'm okay with you being gay,
and I'm okay if you never get married, and I'm
okay if you never have kids, like I accept that
and I love you and I'm proud of you.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
When Eden met Jay, everything changed. She opened up to
the idea of parenthood. In twenty twenty, they both decided
to get checked out by their dog.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
So for funzis, we were like let's check our hormon levels,
which is this is a majority of what any woman
can do if you have a healthcare just go in
and ask, you know, can I get an HSG task?
Can I just like check my my follicles? And we
went in and we didn't think much of it. I
think we were thinking like we were going to be
pretty good, and the doctor was just like, well, for
(07:24):
j her levels look extremely low. So if you are
thinking about having kids, it needs to be within the
next four years. And then for me, I ended up
having endometriosis, and so they're like, well, if you're thinking
about having them, you also probably have like a four
year window as well.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
With that new information, Eden and Jay decided they'd begin
in vitro fertilization, commonly known as IVF.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
We broke it up, and I think that's the only
way that worked for us, just because IVF is so
expensive and there's obviously different layers of IVF. Right, our
treatment doesn't necessarily mean that that treatment will work for
you or anybody else, but like, that's a wide spectrum
of how much money you can dump into this, and
(08:14):
for us, we looked at what we needed, which was
sperm egg retrieval, and then embryos creating embryos. So we
broke them up into three years. The first year we
just focused on finding the perfect sperm donor in our eyes,
So that was literally like buying a house, Like you
and your partner sit down, you literally write all the
things and qualifications that you want in like this magical donor,
(08:36):
and then you cross reference and then you somehow yea.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Even though Eden and Jay were ready to do this together,
Eden emphasizes the importance of setting limits financial, emotional, and
physical limits.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
You have to have a maximum amount of what you're
willing to spend financially, because this can feel like a
never ending you know, whole that you'll never get out
of because you're not giving yourself at least a line
to be prepared to hit as a max line. And
I think everybody should have that max line because at
(09:12):
the end of the day, like if it's not working,
I would hate for somebody to be so far into
this that they'll never get out of it. And you know,
I just feel like not enough people talk about having
a max line financially, you have to have one emotionally.
At what point emotionally is it enough at what point
emotionally have we hit our max, because then it's going
(09:32):
to cost us our relationship And what's the point of
doing this if we're going to do it alone? And
then just physically physically, how much are you willing to
put your body through before you're like enough is enough?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
With these limits in mind, Eden and Jay began their
search for the perfect donor because.
Speaker 5 (09:50):
When when you like create a profile on these like
donor websites, some of them actually have like voice memos
or like essays that you can read about how they
grew up and what their life was like or what
did they like to do for fun.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
We panic bought Like the thing that I really appreciated
about where we got our sperm from is that they
have like a kind of like a cap because you
don't want, you know, there to be so many siblings
out there, because it could also be very risky. So
they're allowed to have like four confirmed pregnancies, and he
already had two, and so we were.
Speaker 5 (10:27):
Like, let's just buy out all because we know we
at least want to.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Yeah, Eden and Jay considered more than what their donor
looked like, but also what it would be like for
their future children.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
We were trying to put ourselves in their shoes at
eighteen and like having to go through that journey. If
they decide to, who knows, but if they decide to,
we thought it would be better for both of them
to be biologically related, so they can go on this
journey together versus just doing it on.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Their own, and they'll still be siblings, still still biologically
have the same donor, even though the embryos are different.
So Jay's carrying my embryo, and then the plan I said,
I will carry hers.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
It's my parent's going to look like Eden, and Eden's
baby was going to look like me.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
The parents share so much about their relationship and their
lives on social media, they felt it made sense to
announce their pregnancy once they found out. They received a
lot of support from their thousands of followers, but they
were also met with some unsolicited advice.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
No, so in the Latino community, you're not like culture
in general, you're not supposed to talk about pregnancy during
your first trimester period, like the first three months, you're
like zipn that going in. But for us, this is
a four year journey that we've been on, and it
was such a big deal to like not only become pregnant,
but become pregnant on that first attempt, which is so rare,
(11:48):
like in IVF, it takes multiple tries to do anything,
and the fact that it worked on that first try,
and we talked about it like even if if you know,
knock on what anything happened to this embryo, I'm still
grateful that we got here. You know, many people in
our shoes don't get this far. And I think it's
important to talk about it as a whole openly, you know,
(12:10):
without any like I don't know, I feel like it's
such a taboo conversation.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Eaten researched miscarriages and realize just how common they are.
There's also a shroud of silence around women experiencing pregnancy loss.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
So it's a lot of this like suffering in silence.
And I understand the meaning of the comments on Instagram,
you know, when they're like, you know, it's just like
really early, you know, you don't know what could happen,
And I'm like, well, I've done a bunch of research.
I know what could happen. And it can be very
hard and it can be very scary to go through,
(12:44):
but you know what it is.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
It's real.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Miscarriages are real. Women's bodies are all different, and you know,
we rely on them and they're resilient and they can
do amazing things, but they can also feel, like, you know,
our own bodies tray us like sometimes, and it's it's
something that I feel like more doctors should do more
research on for women.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
And I feel like having such a big platform like
we do it it's almost like our duty to be
completely open with our followers in our community because most
of the time they have no one else to look
up to. And even during our process, we've had so
many dms of just queer letting know, core women in
general really just being like, thank you so much for sharing.
(13:27):
I'm about to start my journey, or me and my
partner just talked about going on this and you're like
giving me so much information, like firsthand, that I didn't
have before.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Eden and Jay have both received countless messages from women
experiencing fertility issues. Their followers express gratitude that they're willing
to share their journey with their large audience.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
And it's such as queer women, it's infertility hits any woman,
and so we have also like a lot of you know,
cis straight women who reached out to us that are
doing IVF as well because they're having fertility issues, and
it's just nice, I think, for them to understand that,
you know, how we have done it. And there are
people who are kind of like right behind us in
(14:10):
this process and they're like, thank you for posting every
day so I have an understanding of what's coming up next.
And I'm like, you know, if if we can do
anything in this process, and if we've done anything for
the past four years, you know, of sharing our life online,
We're like, you know, if you're going to follow us,
there's going to be the good, the bad, and the
ugly and that's just life. And this is our life,
(14:31):
so please do with it what you will and enjoy.
But like it's going to be honest because we don't
know how to do anything else.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
We hope you're enjoying this conversation. Stay tuned, there's more
to come.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
And we're back. We hope you enjoyed the break and
are ready to listen to the rest. In addition to
creating content, Eden and Jay created a party but as
Yessa and I inspired by the queer club scene that
Jay grew up with, but with her own twist.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
I had the crazy idea to come up with Brazils Tonight.
Growing up in La, I grew up in the party scene,
like the club scene. Before I was even old enough
to be in there, like sixteen, I was in the
clubs and there were a lot there weren't a lot.
There were like two queer clubs that I specifically remember.
One of them was named the Arena and it was
(15:27):
on Santa Monica Boulevard, and there was Catwalk, which was
also like a queer venu. And I remember these places
feeling like magic for me. And I feel like in
the La gay scene, queer scene, it can be very white.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
It just is.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
They'll play the token bad bunny song every once in
a while, but that's as far as like you get,
you know, in the queer scene in La. And I
was just tired of like not fighting the vibes with
my friends that I approached Eden. I was like, listen,
I have this crazy idea. I don't know if it's
going to go anywhere. I just want to host a
night where I like, we're playing Juan Gabriel and like
(16:04):
Selena and it's like ninety nine percent Latin with like
maybe sprinkle in a little bit of Billie Eilish, like
it's it's a vibe, you know, let's like flip it around.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Eden supported the idea, but wanted to create a solidified
plan before launching.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
I told there's just give me six months to do
as much data and as much research as I humanly
possibly can literally, and we did a bunch of researchers.
Give me six months to come up with a business plan,
and then let's attack it. And that's kind of what happened.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Preciosa Night, their very first party, launched in twenty twenty.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Two, Brasiosa one. We kind of had this plan. We
were like, let's plan it on my birthday weekend, so
if nobody shows up, at least my friends will be there,
we're gonna say happy birthday. And like it never happened,
and so it was. We didn't really say it was
like my birthday, but just happened to be on my
birthday weekend. And so so we did a TikTok. We
(17:03):
you know, announced that you know, we're throwing this square event.
It's called Presciosa Night.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Jay had a vision for Preciosa it'd be an inclusive
and welcoming space for the queer LATINX community. But she
did receive some discouraging feedback.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
That was another thing, actually, Prisciosa. When we came up
with the name Prisciosa, so many people were telling us
not to use it, that we're popping it around ourselves
into like that specific market, and that it's not a
good move, which I was like, no, screw that, I'm
still going to do it because I want the right
audience to come and know what this is about. Instead
of like second guessing you know what the movement is.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
We really wanted to understand who what Preciosa is and
what music is she listening to were they listening to?
And what is the energy and the vibe that we
wanted to create, And it was kind of something that
we've built on our platform. We really want our community
to just have a space to come irl and what
would that look like.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
One night, Jay posted a video on TikTok inviting their
followers to Preciosa Night. The following morning, the same video
went viral.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
So when we did the TikTok and we put it
out there like hey, we're planning throwing this party if
you like these things if you were like this type
of person, please feel welcome to join. Is going to
be a free event. It's on this weekend, and we're like,
we'll see you there. And then we went to sleep
and we woke up and the TikTok had like gone a.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Million virals crazy. It was crazy. Everybody was like I
got my ticket, like are you really seeing more? And
it was all free, right. The bar could fit maybe
one hundred and fifty people. We show up to the
venue and we have a line wrapped around the block
of definitely more than one hundred and fifty people just
dying to get in.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
We woke up and we had over five hundred RCPA
because you don't know how to turn it off. Uh
wait wait, and then I thought there was like it
was broken or like there must be a mistake. And
then I'm okay, Well, I was like I rcpeda things
all the time that are free and I don't go.
So I'm like, what are the odds of like all
five hundred people showing up? And then so we get
there and it's like empty at nine o'clock. So I
(19:07):
was like, okay, but my friends are here. They're all
like wish me Happy Birthday. And then as soon as
like nine to twenty, it was like a rush of
literally people trying to get in and we were at
full capacity, beyond capacity by ten.
Speaker 5 (19:20):
By ten pm, the security was like who are you guys?
Like what are you doing? You were like, I don't know,
We're just here at a party there.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Just happened to be a venue booker for Catch One
at that night, and they sent us an email the
next day and they're like, hey, I went to Prisciosa.
I loved this. You guys don't understand. This is going
to be huge. Can you bring your party to our event?
And you were telling me the kind of history of
Catch one. I mean, if you're from La then you
(19:48):
know Catch one and the queer history that I represents.
I mean Madonna used to party there. It's like rich
in history.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
So when they reached out, I was fangirling, and Eden's like,
I don't know what this meets.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Since launching, Eden and Jay have taken Praciosa and I
across the US and even to Mexico. They receive messages
from their fellow Praciosa's saying that they feel seen safe
and in community.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
It was somewhere where people can either meet friends or
make connections. And the people who come to Praciosa are
people who follow our accounts, So you're you know, you're
not being toxic. You're looking for somebody who at least
has some healthy communication and boundaries, and you're looking for
your community.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
To wrap up this conversation with Eden and Jay, we
ask what they've learned from each other about sex and sexuality.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
What I've learned the most about sex and sexuality and everything.
It's just, you know, you need to communicate through everything
with your partner, and like, sex is a big one.
So whether you're feeling mentally, emotionally or physically off, like,
you should be able to feel safe, to be able
to talk to your partner about where you are sexually,
(21:00):
you are emotionally where you are physically, and you should
be communicating in the bedroom. You should be communicating about
the bedroom. It shouldn't just be something that is so
silent or stay still. And I feel like, because we
have safe space and open communication about basically everything in
our life, sex is a big conversation for us.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
We also ask Eden and Jay what they would say
to their younger selves.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
I would tell the young girl. It gets better, It
gets better. Don't get hung up on like these experiences.
They're gonna make you into this amazing person in the future,
and you're gonna find a love of your life and
it's gonna be all rainbows and butterflies, you know, just
like go through it.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
I feel like if I could give my younger self
any advice, is the sooner you know what you love sexually,
everything else is trainable, Like you really need to know
what you how to get yourself off, and how your
body works, and what you like and what you don't
like and what you're open to and all those things.
(22:06):
And the sooner you accept that and feel confident in it,
then it's just this extra layer of confidence you can
have with your partner. And you know, working through sex
with your partner is going to be a really big
key in your life and your relationship, and you'll be
one hundred percent happier when you both are on the
same page.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
I love this interview with Eden and Jay because of
the way they talked about their love story and their
love for each other. It's really cool how they took
their love for one another and channeled it into this
party in Bresciosa Night, where their feelings for each other
can now reverberate throughout the community and bring others in
(22:51):
in a safe way, in a safe space to express
their own love for themselves and for those around them.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Next time on Signona Sex, we're joined by Rebecca Alvarez, story,
sexologist and founder of Bloomy, an intimate care brand.
Speaker 6 (23:09):
I got a lot of backlash from people across the board,
like why are you putting these products out there? Wow,
she's selling dildos, And it was like such an inappropriate
comment for like a business pitch, you knows chow.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Senora Sex Said is a co production between Locata Productions
and Michael Dura Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
This show is executive produced by Mala Munos and Bios FM.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Also executive produced by Jisell Bances.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Produced by Stephanie Franco.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Creative direction by Mala Munios.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Story editing by biosa.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
M, Music direction by Grisol Lomeli.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
And music produced by Brian Gazzo.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
That boat Coming then in because they felt that a
book had a something that they do
Speaker 4 (24:20):
To bo
Amika, what are you doing this weekend?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Why where are we going?
Speaker 1 (00:05):
I heard about a party called Brescio Sunny. It's going
viral on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Senora Senora, Senora, Senora.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
S Hi Senora.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Welcome to Senora sex Ed Senora sex Said is not
your Mommy's sex Talk. This show is la platica like
you've never heard it before. With each episode, we're breaking
the stigma and silence around sex and sexuality in LATINX communities.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Latinas have been hyper sexualized in popular culture, but notoriously
denied sex education. This podcast is an intergenerational conversation between
Latinas from gen X to Gen Z, covering everything from
puberty and body image to representation in film, television, and music.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Just a reminder that in this show, a Senora is
a woman with a lot of life experiences and stories
to share. Maybe she's thirty, maybe she's forty, she's fifty
or older. Maybe she's trans, maybe she's sis.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
We are your hosts and producers, Viosa and Mala.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
You might recognize us from our flagship podcast, Lokata Radio.
Since twenty sixteen, we've covered all kinds of topics, ranging
from politics, to mental health, current events, and of course sex.
We still have so much to learn and we hope
you listen to each episode with the Senoras and Senoritas
in Your Life Chapter fifteen, Plesiosas. Today, we're joined by
(01:52):
Jay and Eden Trevigno. They're both social media influencers, content creators,
and founders of Josa Night, a queer movement and party.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
I get to just professionally love you, and I feel
like I manifested that, Like I just want to be
paid to love you every day.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Both Eden and Jay were determined to live their best
single lives before they met.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
I had just come out of like a really horrible,
toxic relationship and I just wanted to I like bought
a new sports car, I got a dog. I was like,
I'm going to live my best single life. I'm going
to go on dates and like nothing serious. And then
I met her and I was like, okay, shit, it
just got real. Like my plans just went like completely
(02:36):
different from what I expected. We were both like in
our very excited single summer era. I had just gotten
out of like a really long relationship. But then also
I was like still grieving and dealing with a lot.
I had lost my mom to cancer just a few
months before we met, and I was still in like
full spiral and I wasn't I think at that point,
(02:57):
I was just dating to get out of the house
and not you know, slip further into depression.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
And I, you know, don't even know what I was looking.
It was just kind of like gnomeness untw our first
date and it was like the first time I felt
my heart beat again and I felt excited, and I
felt like it was just that cliche you know, when
you know you know, and I remember seeing you for
the first time and I felt like getting hit by
(03:25):
a buzz And I don't know why.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
This always makes me want to cry.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Eden was forty five minutes late to their first date,
and to make up for it, she thought of different
ways to keep their date going.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
I knew like my life was never going to be
the same, and I have to do anything humanly possible
to keep this first date going because I was forty
five minutes late. I need to keep this going because
I know the moment I let you go, I'm never
going to see you again. For some reason, it's so.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
Funny because like our dinner date had ended and my
second date. I kept pushing because she like extended the
first date. And then I excuse myself to the restroom
and I text the second girl and I was like, hey,
like I'm running a little behind, but I'll be there
in like.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
An hour and a half.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
And I think it was like her friend's birthday party,
and it was like I was gonna meet the friends,
like it was like a It was like like a
big deal.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
How embarrassing, I know.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
And then I came back to the table Ediden's like
do you want to go find ice cream? Like I
want dessert, and like let's go walk on the beach
because it was in Venice. Just go walk on the beach,
and like I didn't want to let her go because
it felt right, like it felt like I should be there,
and it just kept escalating.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
We are like stalling here, and then hours go by,
it started to get dark, and then it kind of
feels like I'm running out of ideas. And then I
searched up a movie theater nearby in Sidamonica, and I
was like and by the playing The Lion King, Like,
do you want to go see it with me? I
always want to see it. I have two tickets to
go see it today.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
And by that point, like the second girl is so mad,
like just like you're lying, like you never were gonna come,
and the first place like I just I'm just gonna
turn my phone off, like I don't know what to
do right now.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
And then we saw the lion King and then we
were like, okay, this naturally feels like I'm running out
of ideas. What am I going to do? And then
you were like, Okay, well I guess I'll see you
and I was like yeah, and then I think you
just random We asked you what plans do you have yeah,
for the rest of the week, and I was like, oh,
I'm moving, and then you offered You're like, hey, if
(05:26):
you ever need help moving, let me know.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Thinking that she was going to like hit me up
later that week. She's like, oh, yeah, you can help
me tonight.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
I was like, you should help me move right now.
Actually I could use a lot of help moving today
to let's go back to my place and you know,
we can move these boxes together, and I think that
would be great. But you didn't say.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
No, I didn't. I just came yeah, no, I didn't.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
And now we're married and had a baby, We hope.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
You're enjoying this conversation. Stay tuned, there's more to come.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Thanks for sticking around. We are back.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Eden and Jay began dating in twenty nineteen, eloped in
twenty twenty, and are now on their journey to become parents.
Jay always knew she wanted to be a mother, but
Eden spent most of her life certain she never wanted kids.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I never wanted kids. And that was something that my
mother and I used to like bump heads a lot
because I was very set on even as like a
young girl, I never want kids. I never want to
get married. Those are like my two I'm going to
die on this hill and my mom and I like
all the way up until the end. And it was
like one of the last things she told me before
(06:40):
she died and is that I'm okay with you being gay,
and I'm okay if you never get married, and I'm
okay if you never have kids, like I accept that
and I love you and I'm proud of you.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
When Eden met Jay, everything changed. She opened up to
the idea of parenthood. In twenty twenty, they both decided
to get checked out by their dog.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
So for funzis, we were like let's check our hormon levels,
which is this is a majority of what any woman
can do if you have a healthcare just go in
and ask, you know, can I get an HSG task?
Can I just like check my my follicles? And we
went in and we didn't think much of it. I
think we were thinking like we were going to be
pretty good, and the doctor was just like, well, for
(07:24):
j her levels look extremely low. So if you are
thinking about having kids, it needs to be within the
next four years. And then for me, I ended up
having endometriosis, and so they're like, well, if you're thinking
about having them, you also probably have like a four
year window as well.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
With that new information, Eden and Jay decided they'd begin
in vitro fertilization, commonly known as IVF.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
We broke it up, and I think that's the only
way that worked for us, just because IVF is so
expensive and there's obviously different layers of IVF. Right, our
treatment doesn't necessarily mean that that treatment will work for
you or anybody else, but like, that's a wide spectrum
of how much money you can dump into this, and
(08:14):
for us, we looked at what we needed, which was
sperm egg retrieval, and then embryos creating embryos. So we
broke them up into three years. The first year we
just focused on finding the perfect sperm donor in our eyes,
So that was literally like buying a house, Like you
and your partner sit down, you literally write all the
things and qualifications that you want in like this magical donor,
(08:36):
and then you cross reference and then you somehow yea.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Even though Eden and Jay were ready to do this together,
Eden emphasizes the importance of setting limits financial, emotional, and
physical limits.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
You have to have a maximum amount of what you're
willing to spend financially, because this can feel like a
never ending you know, whole that you'll never get out
of because you're not giving yourself at least a line
to be prepared to hit as a max line. And
I think everybody should have that max line because at
(09:12):
the end of the day, like if it's not working,
I would hate for somebody to be so far into
this that they'll never get out of it. And you know,
I just feel like not enough people talk about having
a max line financially, you have to have one emotionally.
At what point emotionally is it enough at what point
emotionally have we hit our max, because then it's going
(09:32):
to cost us our relationship And what's the point of
doing this if we're going to do it alone? And
then just physically physically, how much are you willing to
put your body through before you're like enough is enough?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
With these limits in mind, Eden and Jay began their
search for the perfect donor because.
Speaker 5 (09:50):
When when you like create a profile on these like
donor websites, some of them actually have like voice memos
or like essays that you can read about how they
grew up and what their life was like or what
did they like to do for fun.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
We panic bought Like the thing that I really appreciated
about where we got our sperm from is that they
have like a kind of like a cap because you
don't want, you know, there to be so many siblings
out there, because it could also be very risky. So
they're allowed to have like four confirmed pregnancies, and he
already had two, and so we were.
Speaker 5 (10:27):
Like, let's just buy out all because we know we
at least want to.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Yeah, Eden and Jay considered more than what their donor
looked like, but also what it would be like for
their future children.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
We were trying to put ourselves in their shoes at
eighteen and like having to go through that journey. If
they decide to, who knows, but if they decide to,
we thought it would be better for both of them
to be biologically related, so they can go on this
journey together versus just doing it on.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Their own, and they'll still be siblings, still still biologically
have the same donor, even though the embryos are different.
So Jay's carrying my embryo, and then the plan I said,
I will carry hers.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
It's my parent's going to look like Eden, and Eden's
baby was going to look like me.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
The parents share so much about their relationship and their
lives on social media, they felt it made sense to
announce their pregnancy once they found out. They received a
lot of support from their thousands of followers, but they
were also met with some unsolicited advice.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
No, so in the Latino community, you're not like culture
in general, you're not supposed to talk about pregnancy during
your first trimester period, like the first three months, you're
like zipn that going in. But for us, this is
a four year journey that we've been on, and it
was such a big deal to like not only become pregnant,
but become pregnant on that first attempt, which is so rare,
(11:48):
like in IVF, it takes multiple tries to do anything,
and the fact that it worked on that first try,
and we talked about it like even if if you know,
knock on what anything happened to this embryo, I'm still
grateful that we got here. You know, many people in
our shoes don't get this far. And I think it's
important to talk about it as a whole openly, you know,
(12:10):
without any like I don't know, I feel like it's
such a taboo conversation.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Eaten researched miscarriages and realize just how common they are.
There's also a shroud of silence around women experiencing pregnancy loss.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
So it's a lot of this like suffering in silence.
And I understand the meaning of the comments on Instagram,
you know, when they're like, you know, it's just like
really early, you know, you don't know what could happen,
And I'm like, well, I've done a bunch of research.
I know what could happen. And it can be very
hard and it can be very scary to go through,
(12:44):
but you know what it is.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
It's real.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Miscarriages are real. Women's bodies are all different, and you know,
we rely on them and they're resilient and they can
do amazing things, but they can also feel, like, you know,
our own bodies tray us like sometimes, and it's it's
something that I feel like more doctors should do more
research on for women.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
And I feel like having such a big platform like
we do it it's almost like our duty to be
completely open with our followers in our community because most
of the time they have no one else to look
up to. And even during our process, we've had so
many dms of just queer letting know, core women in
general really just being like, thank you so much for sharing.
(13:27):
I'm about to start my journey, or me and my
partner just talked about going on this and you're like
giving me so much information, like firsthand, that I didn't
have before.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Eden and Jay have both received countless messages from women
experiencing fertility issues. Their followers express gratitude that they're willing
to share their journey with their large audience.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
And it's such as queer women, it's infertility hits any woman,
and so we have also like a lot of you know,
cis straight women who reached out to us that are
doing IVF as well because they're having fertility issues, and
it's just nice, I think, for them to understand that,
you know, how we have done it. And there are
people who are kind of like right behind us in
(14:10):
this process and they're like, thank you for posting every
day so I have an understanding of what's coming up next.
And I'm like, you know, if if we can do
anything in this process, and if we've done anything for
the past four years, you know, of sharing our life online,
We're like, you know, if you're going to follow us,
there's going to be the good, the bad, and the
ugly and that's just life. And this is our life,
(14:31):
so please do with it what you will and enjoy.
But like it's going to be honest because we don't
know how to do anything else.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
We hope you're enjoying this conversation. Stay tuned, there's more
to come.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
And we're back. We hope you enjoyed the break and
are ready to listen to the rest. In addition to
creating content, Eden and Jay created a party but as
Yessa and I inspired by the queer club scene that
Jay grew up with, but with her own twist.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
I had the crazy idea to come up with Brazils Tonight.
Growing up in La, I grew up in the party scene,
like the club scene. Before I was even old enough
to be in there, like sixteen, I was in the
clubs and there were a lot there weren't a lot.
There were like two queer clubs that I specifically remember.
One of them was named the Arena and it was
(15:27):
on Santa Monica Boulevard, and there was Catwalk, which was
also like a queer venu. And I remember these places
feeling like magic for me. And I feel like in
the La gay scene, queer scene, it can be very white.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
It just is.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
They'll play the token bad bunny song every once in
a while, but that's as far as like you get,
you know, in the queer scene in La. And I
was just tired of like not fighting the vibes with
my friends that I approached Eden. I was like, listen,
I have this crazy idea. I don't know if it's
going to go anywhere. I just want to host a
night where I like, we're playing Juan Gabriel and like
(16:04):
Selena and it's like ninety nine percent Latin with like
maybe sprinkle in a little bit of Billie Eilish, like
it's it's a vibe, you know, let's like flip it around.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Eden supported the idea, but wanted to create a solidified
plan before launching.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
I told there's just give me six months to do
as much data and as much research as I humanly
possibly can literally, and we did a bunch of researchers.
Give me six months to come up with a business plan,
and then let's attack it. And that's kind of what happened.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Preciosa Night, their very first party, launched in twenty twenty.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Two, Brasiosa one. We kind of had this plan. We
were like, let's plan it on my birthday weekend, so
if nobody shows up, at least my friends will be there,
we're gonna say happy birthday. And like it never happened,
and so it was. We didn't really say it was
like my birthday, but just happened to be on my
birthday weekend. And so so we did a TikTok. We
(17:03):
you know, announced that you know, we're throwing this square event.
It's called Presciosa Night.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Jay had a vision for Preciosa it'd be an inclusive
and welcoming space for the queer LATINX community. But she
did receive some discouraging feedback.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
That was another thing, actually, Prisciosa. When we came up
with the name Prisciosa, so many people were telling us
not to use it, that we're popping it around ourselves
into like that specific market, and that it's not a
good move, which I was like, no, screw that, I'm
still going to do it because I want the right
audience to come and know what this is about. Instead
of like second guessing you know what the movement is.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
We really wanted to understand who what Preciosa is and
what music is she listening to were they listening to?
And what is the energy and the vibe that we
wanted to create, And it was kind of something that
we've built on our platform. We really want our community
to just have a space to come irl and what
would that look like.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
One night, Jay posted a video on TikTok inviting their
followers to Preciosa Night. The following morning, the same video
went viral.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
So when we did the TikTok and we put it
out there like hey, we're planning throwing this party if
you like these things if you were like this type
of person, please feel welcome to join. Is going to
be a free event. It's on this weekend, and we're like,
we'll see you there. And then we went to sleep
and we woke up and the TikTok had like gone a.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Million virals crazy. It was crazy. Everybody was like I
got my ticket, like are you really seeing more? And
it was all free, right. The bar could fit maybe
one hundred and fifty people. We show up to the
venue and we have a line wrapped around the block
of definitely more than one hundred and fifty people just
dying to get in.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
We woke up and we had over five hundred RCPA
because you don't know how to turn it off. Uh
wait wait, and then I thought there was like it
was broken or like there must be a mistake. And
then I'm okay, Well, I was like I rcpeda things
all the time that are free and I don't go.
So I'm like, what are the odds of like all
five hundred people showing up? And then so we get
there and it's like empty at nine o'clock. So I
(19:07):
was like, okay, but my friends are here. They're all
like wish me Happy Birthday. And then as soon as
like nine to twenty, it was like a rush of
literally people trying to get in and we were at
full capacity, beyond capacity by ten.
Speaker 5 (19:20):
By ten pm, the security was like who are you guys?
Like what are you doing? You were like, I don't know,
We're just here at a party there.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Just happened to be a venue booker for Catch One
at that night, and they sent us an email the
next day and they're like, hey, I went to Prisciosa.
I loved this. You guys don't understand. This is going
to be huge. Can you bring your party to our event?
And you were telling me the kind of history of
Catch one. I mean, if you're from La then you
(19:48):
know Catch one and the queer history that I represents.
I mean Madonna used to party there. It's like rich
in history.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
So when they reached out, I was fangirling, and Eden's like,
I don't know what this meets.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Since launching, Eden and Jay have taken Praciosa and I
across the US and even to Mexico. They receive messages
from their fellow Praciosa's saying that they feel seen safe
and in community.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
It was somewhere where people can either meet friends or
make connections. And the people who come to Praciosa are
people who follow our accounts, So you're you know, you're
not being toxic. You're looking for somebody who at least
has some healthy communication and boundaries, and you're looking for
your community.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
To wrap up this conversation with Eden and Jay, we
ask what they've learned from each other about sex and sexuality.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
What I've learned the most about sex and sexuality and everything.
It's just, you know, you need to communicate through everything
with your partner, and like, sex is a big one.
So whether you're feeling mentally, emotionally or physically off, like,
you should be able to feel safe, to be able
to talk to your partner about where you are sexually,
(21:00):
you are emotionally where you are physically, and you should
be communicating in the bedroom. You should be communicating about
the bedroom. It shouldn't just be something that is so
silent or stay still. And I feel like, because we
have safe space and open communication about basically everything in
our life, sex is a big conversation for us.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
We also ask Eden and Jay what they would say
to their younger selves.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
I would tell the young girl. It gets better, It
gets better. Don't get hung up on like these experiences.
They're gonna make you into this amazing person in the future,
and you're gonna find a love of your life and
it's gonna be all rainbows and butterflies, you know, just
like go through it.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
I feel like if I could give my younger self
any advice, is the sooner you know what you love sexually,
everything else is trainable, Like you really need to know
what you how to get yourself off, and how your
body works, and what you like and what you don't
like and what you're open to and all those things.
(22:06):
And the sooner you accept that and feel confident in it,
then it's just this extra layer of confidence you can
have with your partner. And you know, working through sex
with your partner is going to be a really big
key in your life and your relationship, and you'll be
one hundred percent happier when you both are on the
same page.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
I love this interview with Eden and Jay because of
the way they talked about their love story and their
love for each other. It's really cool how they took
their love for one another and channeled it into this
party in Bresciosa Night, where their feelings for each other
can now reverberate throughout the community and bring others in
(22:51):
in a safe way, in a safe space to express
their own love for themselves and for those around them.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Next time on Signona Sex, we're joined by Rebecca Alvarez, story,
sexologist and founder of Bloomy, an intimate care brand.
Speaker 6 (23:09):
I got a lot of backlash from people across the board,
like why are you putting these products out there? Wow,
she's selling dildos, And it was like such an inappropriate
comment for like a business pitch, you knows chow.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Senora Sex Said is a co production between Locata Productions
and Michael Dura Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
This show is executive produced by Mala Munos and Bios FM.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Also executive produced by Jisell Bances.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Produced by Stephanie Franco.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Creative direction by Mala Munios.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Story editing by biosa.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
M, Music direction by Grisol Lomeli.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
And music produced by Brian Gazzo.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
That boat Coming then in because they felt that a
book had a something that they do
Speaker 4 (24:20):
To bo
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