December 17, 2024 • 28 mins
In this week's episode of Señora Sex, Diosa and Mala are joined by ancestral healing expert Panquetzani. In 2007, she created Indigemama: Ancestral Healing. In this episode, she discusses her inherited ancestral practices, why shame isn't ours to carry, and tips for sex during postpartum.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Amiga.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Have you heard of a yoni steam a?
Speaker 1 (00:03):
What esteems?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
A mimas?
Speaker 4 (00:11):
Senora Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Hi Senora, Welcome.
Speaker 5 (00:26):
To Senora sex Ed Senora sex Said is not your
Mommy sex Talk. This show is la platica like you've
never heard it before. With each episode, we're breaking the
stigma and silence around sex and sexuality in LATINX communities.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Latinas have been hyper sexualized in popular culture, but notoriously
denied sex education. This podcast is an intergenerational conversation between
Latinas from gen X to gen Z, covering everything from
puberty and body image to representation in film, television, and music.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
Just a reminder that in this show, a Senora is
a woman with a lot of life experiences and stories
to share. Maybe she's in her thirties, Maybe she's in
her forties or fifties or older. Maybe she's trans, maybe
she sits.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
We are your hosts and producers, Viosa and Mala.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
You might recognize us from our flagship podcast, Lokatra Radio.
Since twenty sixteen, we've covered all kinds of topics, ranging
from politics to mental health, current events, and of course sex.
We still have so much to learn, though, and we
hope you listen to each episode with the Senoras and
Senoritas in your Life.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Chapter eighteen, Womb Wellness.
Speaker 6 (01:44):
Sixteen years ago, I realized it was my colleagen not
only to help people with their wounds and herbalism, but
to help folks bring babies into the world in the
most peaceful, orgasmic way possible.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
That's Bunketsanni. She's the foundress of indie Himama, established in
twenty twelve. She's a Chicana from Los Angeles and mother
of four.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
So far, the majority of our guests have shared how
they did not receive sex education from their mothers or relatives,
but Banketsani did receive a sex talk from her mother
at an early age.
Speaker 6 (02:22):
Sex is something that I heard a lot about. My
mom got pregnant when she was sixteen. She got pregnant
with me when I was sixteen, and so her fear
was that I would continue the cycle teenage pregnancy. And
so her thing is like, don't have you know, don't
(02:44):
have a baby, You better not get pregnant. It wasn't
even like don't have sex. She told me from a
very early age where babies come from She never lied
to me. She always told me the truth. And it
was in terms of the physical act of sex. That
part was very open, like the physiological sex. In terms
(03:05):
of the pleasure part and consent like I don't remember
that ever being a part of the conversation.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Although bunk and Sni did grow up hearing about pregnancy
and sex, consent and pleasure were not a part of
the conversation.
Speaker 6 (03:22):
I never remember hearing my mom say, I want you
to enjoy sex. I tell my sons, my teenage sons, like,
you deserve pleasure, you deserve to feel good. And here
are say for sex practices, and you know, this is
what consent looks like.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
As a teenager, Bunkin Sonni associated kissing with sex and
getting pregnant. She also took her time exploring and learning
about herself.
Speaker 6 (03:49):
I feel like it could have been that, and also
it could have been like I was a bit of
a tomboy. I guess maybe like now they would call
it under fluid. I wasn't sold on like having sex
with a man or a boy. I wasn't sold on it.
Speaker 7 (04:09):
And I was.
Speaker 6 (04:10):
Still experimenting just feeling, you know, feeling my body and
kissing for a long time, kissing girls and kissing boys,
and you know, developing emotional relationships and being like I'm
not gonna have sex until you know, I find the
right person.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
One morning, while getting ready for school and work, Bunkizzani
and her mother came out to each other.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
I had been like kissing girls. We didn't have language
back then, though, you know, Like I was just like,
I'm gay, and she was like, I'm gay too. And
we were doing our hair in the bathroom in the
morning before school and work and she's like me, I
(04:56):
have something to tell you, and I'm like what. She's like,
I'm gay, and I just shrugged and I was like, oh,
me too. And she's like, you're gay too, and I'm
like yeah. She's like when did you know you were gay?
And I was like I don't know. Always, how about you?
She's like always. We had a quick, quick, casual conversation
(05:21):
about it, and then that was it. We went to
school and when I came back, she was like, I
have a girlfriend, and we met the girlfriend. And as
if you're like been around if you're a lesbian, you
kind of know the pace sometimes that lesbian relationships can go.
Like we literally within one month, we were moved into
(05:42):
her house.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
In two thousand and seven, Bunketzanni began teaching womb healing workshops.
At the time, not many were offering this healing practice.
Speaker 6 (05:53):
When I started teaching womb healing workshops, no one was
doing this. When I started telling folks you gotta steam
your vagina, no one was talking about that. When I
was giving salvadas matris, there was no one in our
communities doing that. And a lot of times I was
(06:17):
in a place where I was the teacher, I was
the healer, I was the facilitator, and I had to
be comfortable in that role, like that was my role,
and for sure, life prepared me for that.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Bunketzani began wombwork with herself and became a sort of
guide for anybody who had questions about the practice.
Speaker 6 (06:41):
I got pregnant in two thousand and eight, and people
were like, what's that thing you have wrapped around your belly?
And I'm like, oh, you don't worre a faha, Like, oh,
let me show you. My grandma taught me. And it
feels so good because if you're you know, doing work,
if you're on your feet, if you're leaning forward, if
you're doing dishes, you get lower. But if you support
it this way, you don't get back pain. At the
(07:03):
end of the day, you don't have tired feet, your
hips don't hurt. You know, you have an easier pregnancy.
And I know this because on the days that I
didn't wear it, at the end of the day, I
would feel all of those things and I was like, fuck,
I forgot my fah right. So teaching folks something as
simple as tying folding a riboso to be the perfect
(07:25):
with for your pregnant belly, lifting it the perfect amount
to where it's not harmful, where it's helpful, and tying
it in the exact place that it needs to tie,
which is right around the sacrum in the back, so
that it doesn't slip, so that it doesn't cut off circulation,
so that it doesn't move up, and so little things
like that and herbs and then it you know, went
(07:48):
to bodywork.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Bunkitzani's calling was more than herbalism and woomwork shops. She
was also called to help bring babies into the world.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
Sixteen years ago, sixteen years ago, I realized it was
my calleing not only to help people with their wombs,
and herbalism, but to help folks bring babies into the
world in the most peaceful, orgasmic way possible. Six months later,
I took ADULA training with a really renowned DULA organization,
(08:24):
and at the end of the was it, three five
day training, whatever it was, I realized that they were
so incomplete in their knowledge. I thought I came to
them to learn how to be a birthkeeper, when really
(08:47):
I had been learning it my whole life. And so
this is when I decided, if there are birth workers
like me, then I want them to know what I know.
I don't want them to know what these white DULA
trainings are teaching them, because it's so basic, it's common sense.
It's easy. They could watch a YouTube video and anatomy
(09:09):
of physiology and learn this. I want to teach people
this stuff that you really get your hands dirty, you
refine your spiritual intuition. In the DULA training, they were
talking about ice pads. Oh put a menstrual cloth pad,
or not even a cloth pad, a menstrual pad, a
disposable one, fill it with which Hazel put it in
(09:29):
the freezer and then slap it onto the luh of
the after birth and in my world of Mexican traditional medicine.
That's the last thing you want to do. You don't
want to introduce cold into the uterus. Pirialda that drops
the uterus. It causes womb pain, cramps, it could cut
breast milk. You know, it creates even like bone pain,
(09:53):
hip pain, joint pain. You don't want coldness also from
a physiological stamp point. Coldness and oxytocin, which is the
hormone that actually makes your womb shrink after getting birth,
promote lactation and bonding. You cannot create. You don't have.
(10:13):
You cannot create oxytocin in the body. If you're cold,
you have to be warm. Why because it's a feel
good hormone. You have to feel good. You have to
feel warm and cozy, and then your brain, your hypothalamus
picratary will signal it's time. It's oxytocin time. Baby.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
We hope you're enjoying this conversation.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Stay tuned, there's more to.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Come, and we're back. We hope you enjoyed the break
and are ready to listen to the rest.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Bunkettsani's lineage is full of healers. She learned ancestral womb
practices from both of her aulas.
Speaker 6 (10:56):
I ask my abuela and my mom's side, like, like,
what did you learn this?
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Mom?
Speaker 6 (11:03):
She Asila Semo's like, that's just how we do it.
That's just how we do it, like when it's in
your culture. It's not like this one person taught me.
It's just like the way that everyone around you does things.
On my father's side, my grandmother Olga, and she just
told me this, maybe like less than ten years ago.
(11:26):
She told me that her grandmother does exactly did exactly
what I do for her community. And that's where my
Auela learned how to you know, wrap the faja, make
the oils, do the sobadas and I and I have
some of her that. I said, that's Mabela Olga. I said,
that's that she learned from her grandmother, who she was
(11:49):
raised by because she she was an orphan. She her
mother died, and so she told me, she said, I
used to sit at the feet of my elders and
listen to them talk for hours. She said, I wouldn't
say anything, I would just listen. And she was like,
there's so much that you can learn just from sitting
(12:10):
down and listening. I applied it to my friends and family.
First friends, family, close community, and as I began to
work more and more in my community, I was implementing
both sides of my family's knowledge. I started kind of
(12:34):
feeling into what I like and what is easy for me,
what's easier for my body, what works, what we have available,
just kind of what is practical and what is the
most impactful thing that I could do. This was in
two thousand and eight, two thousand and nine, I started
just helping people for free, going to their berths for free.
(12:57):
Sometimes I would charge like as little as three hundred
dollars and I'd be there for four days and give
them postpartum care and it was wild. You know. I
never did this. I never did this for the money.
I did this because it was necessary.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
Our wombs are connected to our overall sexual health and intimacy.
Bankisani explains why.
Speaker 6 (13:19):
If your womb is aligned in your body, then that
reduces congestion and inflammation, and that gives you healthy blood
flow to your reproductive organs. In other words, you experience
more pleasure. I've had clients who come to me and
they're like, I can't orgasm, and I'll work on them
(13:44):
adjust their wombs and they're able to orgasm. I worked
on this woman who was in her early sixties. She
was a ceoh beautiful like black boss bitch woman who
had just like sped through life. She had her babies,
(14:06):
she didn't rest. She was motivated to get ahead into
her position. And so now that she was at the
space in her sixties, now that she was at the
place to care for herself, she was like, I'm gonna
do this. So she invested in working with me. And
after the first session she came back and she was like,
(14:28):
the dude I'm sleeping with is asking me what I'm
doing because I'm so much juicier. I'm so much hornier,
and I had the best orgasm of my life.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
The most common womb challenges Bunketsani season our community is
a matris kaiva or a collapsed uterus.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
A matris kayeva is a womb that is not perfectly
centered midline in the body, about two fingers below the
belly button and two to three fingers above the pubi phone,
and so when the madris falls, there's congestion, inflammation, bloating,
(15:09):
even stomach indigestion. And you can adjust the uters with
the soa ya the matris, you can adjust it, but
because of muscle memory, it can drop back fairly quickly.
So it is something you need to do at least
for one whole month, once a week at least to
(15:32):
keep it up. My recent client, I was with her
last week, she had a salvada, not for her back pain.
She forgot to mention the back pain. Everybody, everybody who
has a Matriskaida though, has back pain, and so she
forgot to mention the back pain. And she told me
she went on a whole trip to Mexico, she ran,
she carried her baby, she had to run to catch
(15:53):
her flight, and still when she came back for her
next session, she said her back pain was still eighty
percent gone. So imagine living your whole life. Imagine living
decades with this amount of back pain that you just
deal with. You take a pill and forget about it,
(16:14):
and you normalize it. I asked one of my clients
her wound was really drop, her hips are really open,
but she didn't write back pain on her intake form.
And I asked her, like, do you have back Like
don't you have back pain? And she's like, well yeah,
but doesn't everybody, and I was like, no, no, we don't.
(16:37):
And it's kind of like the plate of women, like,
we have so many discomforts that we normalize. Yes, it's common,
but no, it's not normal. No, we don't deserve this.
We deserve better and not until we start seeing our discomfort.
Once we stop ignoring, then we can start to heal.
(17:01):
But there's so much pressure. It's it's such a great
metaphor because there's so much that we carry on our
backs that we don't even ourselves. We don't see because
we're socialized to ignore it so that we keep going.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
We'll be taking a quick break.
Speaker 8 (17:16):
Don't miss us, thanks for sticking around.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
We are back as Latin.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
As we've been taught to feel shame about sex and sexuality,
but as we imagine a decolonial viewpoint of sex and sexuality.
Bankizani encourages us to look at ancestral practices and understandings
of sex.
Speaker 6 (17:43):
Our ancestors lived for pleasure. There are there is a
school of thought in Mechica and Mechka theology poetry that
we're only here for little while, so we have to
enjoy the pleasures of life, since life is full of suffering,
(18:11):
we need to really enjoy the pleasure, and that's the
balance of being a human. Then there are the awa Animeh.
The are the joy bringers, and they had a few
roles in society. They one of them was to teach
(18:35):
men how to give women pleasure, so they were educators,
hands on educators. And the second thing was they had
a role in keeping spirits up, especially for warriors. If
you know you're out in war and you're feeling sad
that you're losing loved ones, you want to stay motivated.
(19:01):
And they got paid. It was their role, it was
their job. It was not a societal role that was
looked down upon. It was just as legitimate as a
bush that got like a trader or any other job.
I want you to realize that you come from a
(19:24):
people who made sex, genitals, and pleasure very visible. We
had giant polic statues, We had bare breasted women, We
had full on opening the labia, opening the vulva, we
(19:44):
had childbirth, gigantic statues that the Spaniards toppled because they
wanted us to feel shame, because they believed it was
their belief that nature, sexual, sensual and reproductive nature was evil,
(20:07):
and because of what they did, because they destroyed our statues,
because they made us feel shame. That's why you're not
in touch. So when you get in touch, you're reclaiming
who you're truly meant to be.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Banketzani recently authored a book titled Thriving Postpartum Embracing the
Indigenous Wisdom of La c Guarentena. The Guarentthena is the
first forty days after a person gives birth, and it
is considered a sacred time.
Speaker 6 (20:42):
The Thriving Postpartum Embracing the Indigenous Wisdom of La Quarentenna
is my life's work put into one concise bible to
help postpartum people from the time that they give birth,
(21:02):
like literally seconds after birth, all the way up until
day forty. You are postpartum your whole life, especially the
first two years. So not only am I sharing resetas
herbs and the reason why why do we need to
(21:25):
stay warm? Why do we need a community? Why do
we honor the postpartum person with these sacred rights of passage?
What these rituals not only mean for our spirit, but
for our communities, for our family and if we do
this all together, the world right. Bringing babies into the
(21:50):
world peacefully means that we're bringing a semia that is
going to have a better chance at sprouting and fertile soil. Knowing,
imagine feeling and knowing I have community, I have people
who love me, I have support.
Speaker 5 (22:11):
Penetrative sex is not advised during the Quadindenna Bunkitsani explains
why so sex.
Speaker 6 (22:19):
Penetrative sex is countra indicated for the first forty days,
and the reason for that is your womb is still
healing from childbirth. You could bleed out, you could get
an infection. It's literally open your cervice. The mouth of
your uterus is still open, so you can, you know,
(22:40):
pass bacteria through there. And also the placenta, which is
what gives the exchange of oxygen and waste from baby
to uterus and mother. It's this beautiful connective organ that
you make during pregnancy. Because the placenta has to detach
(23:05):
from the uterus, it's leaving a wound and open blood vessels,
and these blood vessels need to not be activated. Just
like when you get a cut, you need to leave
it alone so that it keels. Same thing for your uterus.
When you orgasm, your uterus contracts, so you don't want
that contraction to happen unnecessarily because it's already going to
(23:29):
be contracting when you're nursing and when you're moving.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Around when you are ready to have sex again. But
Kitzani has this advice for new parents.
Speaker 6 (23:40):
Listen to your body, remember that you are the authority.
Don't allow yourself to feel pressured, and you deserve the
ultimate pleasurable experience. Take this as your first time having
sex ever, what would you want that experience to be like?
(24:00):
Look like, feel like? Because this is a new you.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
According to ban Getzani, la quadin'tenna can be a beautiful
time to learn about your new body post baby.
Speaker 6 (24:11):
It's a whole new body. You might like different things,
you might have different sensations. I know people who are like,
I have better sex now now that I'm a mom.
And there is no perfect time after la quarentenna to
start having sex. Of course, after giving birth, you're still recovering.
(24:33):
It takes two years for your minerals to come back
to healthy levels. Right, two years, that's that's two years.
If you're eating mineral rich foods and being mindful of
what you're consuming and when you have when you're lactating,
you have less desire. This is a physiological reaction, like
(24:57):
your body's saying we don't need new babies. You don't
need sex right now. Your body's already at capacity. So
it's normal, it's not bad. It's not wrong for your
sex drive to change throughout your life.
Speaker 5 (25:11):
Bunkitzani wants her clients to not feel shame about their
changing sex drive or their bodies during postpartum, and I.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
Think that's something that a lot of folks will feel
shame about. Men are not physiologically, they're not going through
what you went through, and so a lot of times
there's disconnect in male female couples because the person who
didn't give birth still has the same amount of libido. Meanwhile,
the mom is like, I'm touched out. I have a
(25:41):
baby on me, I might have a toddler crawling on me,
and I just want to rest. I just want to sleep.
I want my feet rubbed like that is erratic for me.
Seeing you wash dishes is hot to me. That turns
me on. You taking the baby out, You sleeping with
the baby so that I can sleep in any position
(26:02):
I want, instead of holding them carefully while I nurse
them and sleep at the same time, that's sexy, so
redefine what gets you off.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
For any listener who may be entering postpartum or is
in the thick of it, Bankitzani has this advice.
Speaker 6 (26:20):
Always tune into your body. Your body doesn't lie, and
when you're feeling like there's discord, when you're feeling like
there is a fight between your mind and your body,
quiet the mind and listen to your body.
Speaker 5 (26:39):
What I love learning from Bunkittzani during this interview is
that she really reframes the way we can think about
our body's postpartum. I think society expects, especially women who
have babies, to bounce back quickly, but this idea of
the Guadantana is that you're actually meant to rest and
to be cared for, just in the world that you're
(27:00):
caring for your baby.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
And I also think it's.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Really beautiful to think that while there's a connotation that
you're never the same after you have a baby, I
love the way Bankizzani encourages us to think about how
we have a full new body and a whole new
take on the way we experience sex and sexuality.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Next time on Senora sex Head, we're joined by mother
daughter duo Patricia and Stephanie.
Speaker 7 (27:24):
Osuna Sokasa, Christmas Jo Pasilla, Tito Mescondo, Yes.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I don't know that that wells Choo.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Senora Sex Said is a co production between Locata Productions
and Michael Doura Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
This show is executive produced by Mala Munios Andosa FM.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Also executive produced by Jaselle.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Frances, produced by Stephanie Franco.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Creative direction by Mala Munios.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Store Wry editing by Viosa Fem.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Music direction by Grisol Lomeli and
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Music produced by Brian Gazzo
Amiga.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Have you heard of a yoni steam a?
Speaker 1 (00:03):
What esteems?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
A mimas?
Speaker 4 (00:11):
Senora Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Hi Senora, Welcome.
Speaker 5 (00:26):
To Senora sex Ed Senora sex Said is not your
Mommy sex Talk. This show is la platica like you've
never heard it before. With each episode, we're breaking the
stigma and silence around sex and sexuality in LATINX communities.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Latinas have been hyper sexualized in popular culture, but notoriously
denied sex education. This podcast is an intergenerational conversation between
Latinas from gen X to gen Z, covering everything from
puberty and body image to representation in film, television, and music.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
Just a reminder that in this show, a Senora is
a woman with a lot of life experiences and stories
to share. Maybe she's in her thirties, Maybe she's in
her forties or fifties or older. Maybe she's trans, maybe
she sits.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
We are your hosts and producers, Viosa and Mala.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
You might recognize us from our flagship podcast, Lokatra Radio.
Since twenty sixteen, we've covered all kinds of topics, ranging
from politics to mental health, current events, and of course sex.
We still have so much to learn, though, and we
hope you listen to each episode with the Senoras and
Senoritas in your Life.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Chapter eighteen, Womb Wellness.
Speaker 6 (01:44):
Sixteen years ago, I realized it was my colleagen not
only to help people with their wounds and herbalism, but
to help folks bring babies into the world in the
most peaceful, orgasmic way possible.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
That's Bunketsanni. She's the foundress of indie Himama, established in
twenty twelve. She's a Chicana from Los Angeles and mother
of four.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
So far, the majority of our guests have shared how
they did not receive sex education from their mothers or relatives,
but Banketsani did receive a sex talk from her mother
at an early age.
Speaker 6 (02:22):
Sex is something that I heard a lot about. My
mom got pregnant when she was sixteen. She got pregnant
with me when I was sixteen, and so her fear
was that I would continue the cycle teenage pregnancy. And
so her thing is like, don't have you know, don't
(02:44):
have a baby, You better not get pregnant. It wasn't
even like don't have sex. She told me from a
very early age where babies come from She never lied
to me. She always told me the truth. And it
was in terms of the physical act of sex. That
part was very open, like the physiological sex. In terms
(03:05):
of the pleasure part and consent like I don't remember
that ever being a part of the conversation.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Although bunk and Sni did grow up hearing about pregnancy
and sex, consent and pleasure were not a part of
the conversation.
Speaker 6 (03:22):
I never remember hearing my mom say, I want you
to enjoy sex. I tell my sons, my teenage sons, like,
you deserve pleasure, you deserve to feel good. And here
are say for sex practices, and you know, this is
what consent looks like.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
As a teenager, Bunkin Sonni associated kissing with sex and
getting pregnant. She also took her time exploring and learning
about herself.
Speaker 6 (03:49):
I feel like it could have been that, and also
it could have been like I was a bit of
a tomboy. I guess maybe like now they would call
it under fluid. I wasn't sold on like having sex
with a man or a boy. I wasn't sold on it.
Speaker 7 (04:09):
And I was.
Speaker 6 (04:10):
Still experimenting just feeling, you know, feeling my body and
kissing for a long time, kissing girls and kissing boys,
and you know, developing emotional relationships and being like I'm
not gonna have sex until you know, I find the
right person.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
One morning, while getting ready for school and work, Bunkizzani
and her mother came out to each other.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
I had been like kissing girls. We didn't have language
back then, though, you know, Like I was just like,
I'm gay, and she was like, I'm gay too. And
we were doing our hair in the bathroom in the
morning before school and work and she's like me, I
(04:56):
have something to tell you, and I'm like what. She's like,
I'm gay, and I just shrugged and I was like, oh,
me too. And she's like, you're gay too, and I'm
like yeah. She's like when did you know you were gay?
And I was like I don't know. Always, how about you?
She's like always. We had a quick, quick, casual conversation
(05:21):
about it, and then that was it. We went to
school and when I came back, she was like, I
have a girlfriend, and we met the girlfriend. And as
if you're like been around if you're a lesbian, you
kind of know the pace sometimes that lesbian relationships can go.
Like we literally within one month, we were moved into
(05:42):
her house.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
In two thousand and seven, Bunketzanni began teaching womb healing workshops.
At the time, not many were offering this healing practice.
Speaker 6 (05:53):
When I started teaching womb healing workshops, no one was
doing this. When I started telling folks you gotta steam
your vagina, no one was talking about that. When I
was giving salvadas matris, there was no one in our
communities doing that. And a lot of times I was
(06:17):
in a place where I was the teacher, I was
the healer, I was the facilitator, and I had to
be comfortable in that role, like that was my role,
and for sure, life prepared me for that.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Bunketzani began wombwork with herself and became a sort of
guide for anybody who had questions about the practice.
Speaker 6 (06:41):
I got pregnant in two thousand and eight, and people
were like, what's that thing you have wrapped around your belly?
And I'm like, oh, you don't worre a faha, Like, oh,
let me show you. My grandma taught me. And it
feels so good because if you're you know, doing work,
if you're on your feet, if you're leaning forward, if
you're doing dishes, you get lower. But if you support
it this way, you don't get back pain. At the
(07:03):
end of the day, you don't have tired feet, your
hips don't hurt. You know, you have an easier pregnancy.
And I know this because on the days that I
didn't wear it, at the end of the day, I
would feel all of those things and I was like, fuck,
I forgot my fah right. So teaching folks something as
simple as tying folding a riboso to be the perfect
(07:25):
with for your pregnant belly, lifting it the perfect amount
to where it's not harmful, where it's helpful, and tying
it in the exact place that it needs to tie,
which is right around the sacrum in the back, so
that it doesn't slip, so that it doesn't cut off circulation,
so that it doesn't move up, and so little things
like that and herbs and then it you know, went
(07:48):
to bodywork.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Bunkitzani's calling was more than herbalism and woomwork shops. She
was also called to help bring babies into the world.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
Sixteen years ago, sixteen years ago, I realized it was
my calleing not only to help people with their wombs,
and herbalism, but to help folks bring babies into the
world in the most peaceful, orgasmic way possible. Six months later,
I took ADULA training with a really renowned DULA organization,
(08:24):
and at the end of the was it, three five
day training, whatever it was, I realized that they were
so incomplete in their knowledge. I thought I came to
them to learn how to be a birthkeeper, when really
(08:47):
I had been learning it my whole life. And so
this is when I decided, if there are birth workers
like me, then I want them to know what I know.
I don't want them to know what these white DULA
trainings are teaching them, because it's so basic, it's common sense.
It's easy. They could watch a YouTube video and anatomy
(09:09):
of physiology and learn this. I want to teach people
this stuff that you really get your hands dirty, you
refine your spiritual intuition. In the DULA training, they were
talking about ice pads. Oh put a menstrual cloth pad,
or not even a cloth pad, a menstrual pad, a
disposable one, fill it with which Hazel put it in
(09:29):
the freezer and then slap it onto the luh of
the after birth and in my world of Mexican traditional medicine.
That's the last thing you want to do. You don't
want to introduce cold into the uterus. Pirialda that drops
the uterus. It causes womb pain, cramps, it could cut
breast milk. You know, it creates even like bone pain,
(09:53):
hip pain, joint pain. You don't want coldness also from
a physiological stamp point. Coldness and oxytocin, which is the
hormone that actually makes your womb shrink after getting birth,
promote lactation and bonding. You cannot create. You don't have.
(10:13):
You cannot create oxytocin in the body. If you're cold,
you have to be warm. Why because it's a feel
good hormone. You have to feel good. You have to
feel warm and cozy, and then your brain, your hypothalamus
picratary will signal it's time. It's oxytocin time. Baby.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
We hope you're enjoying this conversation.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Stay tuned, there's more to.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Come, and we're back. We hope you enjoyed the break
and are ready to listen to the rest.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Bunkettsani's lineage is full of healers. She learned ancestral womb
practices from both of her aulas.
Speaker 6 (10:56):
I ask my abuela and my mom's side, like, like,
what did you learn this?
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Mom?
Speaker 6 (11:03):
She Asila Semo's like, that's just how we do it.
That's just how we do it, like when it's in
your culture. It's not like this one person taught me.
It's just like the way that everyone around you does things.
On my father's side, my grandmother Olga, and she just
told me this, maybe like less than ten years ago.
(11:26):
She told me that her grandmother does exactly did exactly
what I do for her community. And that's where my
Auela learned how to you know, wrap the faja, make
the oils, do the sobadas and I and I have
some of her that. I said, that's Mabela Olga. I said,
that's that she learned from her grandmother, who she was
(11:49):
raised by because she she was an orphan. She her
mother died, and so she told me, she said, I
used to sit at the feet of my elders and
listen to them talk for hours. She said, I wouldn't
say anything, I would just listen. And she was like,
there's so much that you can learn just from sitting
(12:10):
down and listening. I applied it to my friends and family.
First friends, family, close community, and as I began to
work more and more in my community, I was implementing
both sides of my family's knowledge. I started kind of
(12:34):
feeling into what I like and what is easy for me,
what's easier for my body, what works, what we have available,
just kind of what is practical and what is the
most impactful thing that I could do. This was in
two thousand and eight, two thousand and nine, I started
just helping people for free, going to their berths for free.
(12:57):
Sometimes I would charge like as little as three hundred
dollars and I'd be there for four days and give
them postpartum care and it was wild. You know. I
never did this. I never did this for the money.
I did this because it was necessary.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
Our wombs are connected to our overall sexual health and intimacy.
Bankisani explains why.
Speaker 6 (13:19):
If your womb is aligned in your body, then that
reduces congestion and inflammation, and that gives you healthy blood
flow to your reproductive organs. In other words, you experience
more pleasure. I've had clients who come to me and
they're like, I can't orgasm, and I'll work on them
(13:44):
adjust their wombs and they're able to orgasm. I worked
on this woman who was in her early sixties. She
was a ceoh beautiful like black boss bitch woman who
had just like sped through life. She had her babies,
(14:06):
she didn't rest. She was motivated to get ahead into
her position. And so now that she was at the
space in her sixties, now that she was at the
place to care for herself, she was like, I'm gonna
do this. So she invested in working with me. And
after the first session she came back and she was like,
(14:28):
the dude I'm sleeping with is asking me what I'm
doing because I'm so much juicier. I'm so much hornier,
and I had the best orgasm of my life.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
The most common womb challenges Bunketsani season our community is
a matris kaiva or a collapsed uterus.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
A matris kayeva is a womb that is not perfectly
centered midline in the body, about two fingers below the
belly button and two to three fingers above the pubi phone,
and so when the madris falls, there's congestion, inflammation, bloating,
(15:09):
even stomach indigestion. And you can adjust the uters with
the soa ya the matris, you can adjust it, but
because of muscle memory, it can drop back fairly quickly.
So it is something you need to do at least
for one whole month, once a week at least to
(15:32):
keep it up. My recent client, I was with her
last week, she had a salvada, not for her back pain.
She forgot to mention the back pain. Everybody, everybody who
has a Matriskaida though, has back pain, and so she
forgot to mention the back pain. And she told me
she went on a whole trip to Mexico, she ran,
she carried her baby, she had to run to catch
(15:53):
her flight, and still when she came back for her
next session, she said her back pain was still eighty
percent gone. So imagine living your whole life. Imagine living
decades with this amount of back pain that you just
deal with. You take a pill and forget about it,
(16:14):
and you normalize it. I asked one of my clients
her wound was really drop, her hips are really open,
but she didn't write back pain on her intake form.
And I asked her, like, do you have back Like
don't you have back pain? And she's like, well yeah,
but doesn't everybody, and I was like, no, no, we don't.
(16:37):
And it's kind of like the plate of women, like,
we have so many discomforts that we normalize. Yes, it's common,
but no, it's not normal. No, we don't deserve this.
We deserve better and not until we start seeing our discomfort.
Once we stop ignoring, then we can start to heal.
(17:01):
But there's so much pressure. It's it's such a great
metaphor because there's so much that we carry on our
backs that we don't even ourselves. We don't see because
we're socialized to ignore it so that we keep going.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
We'll be taking a quick break.
Speaker 8 (17:16):
Don't miss us, thanks for sticking around.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
We are back as Latin.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
As we've been taught to feel shame about sex and sexuality,
but as we imagine a decolonial viewpoint of sex and sexuality.
Bankizani encourages us to look at ancestral practices and understandings
of sex.
Speaker 6 (17:43):
Our ancestors lived for pleasure. There are there is a
school of thought in Mechica and Mechka theology poetry that
we're only here for little while, so we have to
enjoy the pleasures of life, since life is full of suffering,
(18:11):
we need to really enjoy the pleasure, and that's the
balance of being a human. Then there are the awa Animeh.
The are the joy bringers, and they had a few
roles in society. They one of them was to teach
(18:35):
men how to give women pleasure, so they were educators,
hands on educators. And the second thing was they had
a role in keeping spirits up, especially for warriors. If
you know you're out in war and you're feeling sad
that you're losing loved ones, you want to stay motivated.
(19:01):
And they got paid. It was their role, it was
their job. It was not a societal role that was
looked down upon. It was just as legitimate as a
bush that got like a trader or any other job.
I want you to realize that you come from a
(19:24):
people who made sex, genitals, and pleasure very visible. We
had giant polic statues, We had bare breasted women, We
had full on opening the labia, opening the vulva, we
(19:44):
had childbirth, gigantic statues that the Spaniards toppled because they
wanted us to feel shame, because they believed it was
their belief that nature, sexual, sensual and reproductive nature was evil,
(20:07):
and because of what they did, because they destroyed our statues,
because they made us feel shame. That's why you're not
in touch. So when you get in touch, you're reclaiming
who you're truly meant to be.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Banketzani recently authored a book titled Thriving Postpartum Embracing the
Indigenous Wisdom of La c Guarentena. The Guarentthena is the
first forty days after a person gives birth, and it
is considered a sacred time.
Speaker 6 (20:42):
The Thriving Postpartum Embracing the Indigenous Wisdom of La Quarentenna
is my life's work put into one concise bible to
help postpartum people from the time that they give birth,
(21:02):
like literally seconds after birth, all the way up until
day forty. You are postpartum your whole life, especially the
first two years. So not only am I sharing resetas
herbs and the reason why why do we need to
(21:25):
stay warm? Why do we need a community? Why do
we honor the postpartum person with these sacred rights of passage?
What these rituals not only mean for our spirit, but
for our communities, for our family and if we do
this all together, the world right. Bringing babies into the
(21:50):
world peacefully means that we're bringing a semia that is
going to have a better chance at sprouting and fertile soil. Knowing,
imagine feeling and knowing I have community, I have people
who love me, I have support.
Speaker 5 (22:11):
Penetrative sex is not advised during the Quadindenna Bunkitsani explains
why so sex.
Speaker 6 (22:19):
Penetrative sex is countra indicated for the first forty days,
and the reason for that is your womb is still
healing from childbirth. You could bleed out, you could get
an infection. It's literally open your cervice. The mouth of
your uterus is still open, so you can, you know,
(22:40):
pass bacteria through there. And also the placenta, which is
what gives the exchange of oxygen and waste from baby
to uterus and mother. It's this beautiful connective organ that
you make during pregnancy. Because the placenta has to detach
(23:05):
from the uterus, it's leaving a wound and open blood vessels,
and these blood vessels need to not be activated. Just
like when you get a cut, you need to leave
it alone so that it keels. Same thing for your uterus.
When you orgasm, your uterus contracts, so you don't want
that contraction to happen unnecessarily because it's already going to
(23:29):
be contracting when you're nursing and when you're moving.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Around when you are ready to have sex again. But
Kitzani has this advice for new parents.
Speaker 6 (23:40):
Listen to your body, remember that you are the authority.
Don't allow yourself to feel pressured, and you deserve the
ultimate pleasurable experience. Take this as your first time having
sex ever, what would you want that experience to be like?
(24:00):
Look like, feel like? Because this is a new you.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
According to ban Getzani, la quadin'tenna can be a beautiful
time to learn about your new body post baby.
Speaker 6 (24:11):
It's a whole new body. You might like different things,
you might have different sensations. I know people who are like,
I have better sex now now that I'm a mom.
And there is no perfect time after la quarentenna to
start having sex. Of course, after giving birth, you're still recovering.
(24:33):
It takes two years for your minerals to come back
to healthy levels. Right, two years, that's that's two years.
If you're eating mineral rich foods and being mindful of
what you're consuming and when you have when you're lactating,
you have less desire. This is a physiological reaction, like
(24:57):
your body's saying we don't need new babies. You don't
need sex right now. Your body's already at capacity. So
it's normal, it's not bad. It's not wrong for your
sex drive to change throughout your life.
Speaker 5 (25:11):
Bunkitzani wants her clients to not feel shame about their
changing sex drive or their bodies during postpartum, and I.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
Think that's something that a lot of folks will feel
shame about. Men are not physiologically, they're not going through
what you went through, and so a lot of times
there's disconnect in male female couples because the person who
didn't give birth still has the same amount of libido. Meanwhile,
the mom is like, I'm touched out. I have a
(25:41):
baby on me, I might have a toddler crawling on me,
and I just want to rest. I just want to sleep.
I want my feet rubbed like that is erratic for me.
Seeing you wash dishes is hot to me. That turns
me on. You taking the baby out, You sleeping with
the baby so that I can sleep in any position
(26:02):
I want, instead of holding them carefully while I nurse
them and sleep at the same time, that's sexy, so
redefine what gets you off.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
For any listener who may be entering postpartum or is
in the thick of it, Bankitzani has this advice.
Speaker 6 (26:20):
Always tune into your body. Your body doesn't lie, and
when you're feeling like there's discord, when you're feeling like
there is a fight between your mind and your body,
quiet the mind and listen to your body.
Speaker 5 (26:39):
What I love learning from Bunkittzani during this interview is
that she really reframes the way we can think about
our body's postpartum. I think society expects, especially women who
have babies, to bounce back quickly, but this idea of
the Guadantana is that you're actually meant to rest and
to be cared for, just in the world that you're
(27:00):
caring for your baby.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
And I also think it's.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Really beautiful to think that while there's a connotation that
you're never the same after you have a baby, I
love the way Bankizzani encourages us to think about how
we have a full new body and a whole new
take on the way we experience sex and sexuality.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Next time on Senora sex Head, we're joined by mother
daughter duo Patricia and Stephanie.
Speaker 7 (27:24):
Osuna Sokasa, Christmas Jo Pasilla, Tito Mescondo, Yes.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I don't know that that wells Choo.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Senora Sex Said is a co production between Locata Productions
and Michael Doura Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
This show is executive produced by Mala Munios Andosa FM.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Also executive produced by Jaselle.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Frances, produced by Stephanie Franco.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Creative direction by Mala Munios.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Store Wry editing by Viosa Fem.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Music direction by Grisol Lomeli and
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Music produced by Brian Gazzo
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