April 30, 2024 • 50 mins
Country Music Star Sara Evans is no stranger to the top of the charts with hits like "Born to Fly," but she's also down to earth and known for keeping it real!
The singer-songwriter and straight-shooter joins Cheryl for a candid chat about her time on Season Three of DWTS, including the stress of doing the show while her marriage was falling apart, juggling motherhood to three small children, and a tour. She also details a tense encounter with her ex-husband involving her children and intervention by dance partner Tony Dovolani, which led to her decision to leave the show after week six.
Plus, Sara opens up about dealing with body dysmorphia, how comments from online trolls affect her, and why she feels she would have won the Mirrorball Trophy if she had stayed in the competition!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is Sex Lies and Spray Tans with me Cheryl
Burke and iHeartRadio podcast. Welcome back you guys to sex
Lizes and Spray Tans. And I have to say today's
episode is super special. I actually went to NAPA to
do this specific interview in person. So let's just get started.
We're joined by the incredibly talented Sarah Evans as she
(00:23):
opens up about her challenging yet transformative experience on Dancing
with the Stars during a pivotal moment in her life
to say the least. We really dive deep into her
journey through a tough divorce while competing on the show,
and her dynamic partnership with Tony Devlani himself and how
she was able to turn adversity into empowerment in her
(00:45):
music and personal life. Plus Sarah shares her enduring love
for the show and whether she'd even lace up her
dancing shoes again. Well, let's get started as we explore
the resilience and rebirth of a true country star. Please
welcome my friend Sarah Evans to the podcast. Cannot believe, Sarah,
(01:06):
it's been twenty freaking years almost.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I literally can't believe it. It seems like yesterday, guys, because
for me it was one of the highlights of my career.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
You know, for you it was your wob of highlights though.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Still yeah, yeah, I'll.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Never forget us in the makeup trailers because like that
is where we all really get close, because we don't
have time to do this, like sit in chat for
an hour and then you know, that is our time
in the makeup trailer, We're all freaking out and nervous.
Everyone's trying to get their eyelashes on, and like all
these conversations are happening and we're just like having fun,
you know, absolutely, so Oh my goodness. First of all,
(01:46):
congratulations on everything. I'm so happy for you. You look amazing.
Thank you. You really do. You're like glowing, like from
the inside out. Thanks, and I'm so happy. And I
have been following your career, so congratulations on everything.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
And I've been following you too. Every time I see you,
I'm just like, oh my god, you look amazing too.
By the way, I feel like I have so many
things I want to ask you.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Oh, go ahead, we can switch it, switch it around.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Well, I just when I first saw you. My main
memory of you is when we went out to the
club because I was going, I was awake, I was
kind of being a little bit wild, like I wasn't
doing anything, you know, like with guys or whatever, because
I was still married but going through the divorce. But
(02:34):
we would go out and party, and I knew how
to have fun, and you knew how to fun. You
were crazy, crazy, crazy, and but I was kind of
intimidated by you. I was intimidated about all of you.
Interesting why because you were just all so amazing and
it's not what we do.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
But even in normal like in a normal setting when
we would go to Hide, it was called Hide that club. Yes, yeah,
I was that girl once. So I was a ballroom
dancer by day and a club goer by night. That
was my job.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yeah, And I remember you like trying to get me
to even open up at Hide and dance, and you know,
just just like let loose, Let loose, you know, because
I was so kind of rigid.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Well and by the way, though, I also think that, look,
it's a whole thing like if your personal life right
at the time may have not maybe felt stable, it's
not going to necessarily translate when you're doing a show
that you have to also be vulnerable doing it's like,
it's scary. It's scary, very scary. So let's go back.
So first of all, how did you even get approached
(03:41):
to doing Dancing with the Stars And were you a fan?
Did you watch the second season?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Okay, okay, we were doing CMA fes right, I don't
know if you've ever been yes, in Nashville. Are you
country music fans? I am?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
But I also presented one seat like one year.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Oh yeah, oh very well, it's fun. Okay. So we
were doing CFS. I came off stage and the producer
what's her name, Dina Katz, was on my tour bus,
and I remember that I started watching Dancing with the
Stars and I go, oh my god, I love that
(04:15):
show and she goes, you do, and I said, yes,
I want to be on it because that's just so me,
you know, like I want to try everything. And she
was like, you do, really you would, and I said absolutely.
Well then I had a baby and so after Audrey
was born, somehow we connected. I don't know how all
this stuff happens, you know how that is? And I
(04:38):
think I believe it was on the third season and
they just called and said, you know, we want her
and went out to Oregon to do my training. In
my first meet with Tony, you found out that he
was my partner.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Did you request him?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
No? No, And the thing is, you don't. They don't
tell tell you who your partner is. They film it
right as you know, they brief They must have briefed you. No, No,
I had no idea. So like, okay, I had no
idea who Tony was.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
They definitely had to brief me for Emma Smith because
I was like, who is this dude? Like no clue whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah, yeah, well like yeah, maybe they told Tony.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
No, I think Tony. Tony definitely was a he's a
huge fan, Like he was a huge fan.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah, yeah, well he was. I was going through the
divorce and that's why I chose to rehearse in Oregon
because I was trying really hard not to get a
divorce because I didn't believe in it. I didn't want
to do it, and I just had a baby. And
you know, I always tell Audrey she's nineteen now the baby.
Can you believe that she's nineteen? She is my exact twin,
(05:47):
like one hundred, like total twin. Avery. My son is
twenty four Livey's twenty one, Audrey's nineteen and so we
were going through marriage counseling, and so he wanted to
be an Oregon and I decided to train an Oregon
(06:07):
for that summer.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
But you were also on tour.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
And I was also on tour. I was doing everything.
I mean, that was wow. And I was the only
mom on that season. So after about six hours of training,
I would start getting really a and c and want
to go home to be with the kids because I'm
obsessed with my children and two kids.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
No, okay, I might my French shee, my French bulldog.
She's like my daughter.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, so you're obsessed.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I mean literally she walks me. I don't walk her.
Like it's a weird dynamic. This is probably why I
shouldn't have kids. But uh, that's for a different podcast.
You should have kids, you'd be well, you know, yeah,
I would love to. I would love to adopt. Actually,
yeah you should. Yeah, you should think you'd be a
great mother. So I watched all your dances obviously, and
(06:53):
I believe, because like there's this thing where I don't
think it should be a rule, but I believe I
would love to have had notes from the because honestly,
we're fifty percent of this partnership, so like you are
a projection of what we give you.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Right, Yes, if.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
We say dance this routine, you're not gonna you know,
you're gonna dance the routine. Yeah, Now, if there's something
wrong with the routine, I would appreciate the feedback so
then I can be better, so that in turn you
can be better.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
That's right. That would help you, guys so much. And
then Tony could have And Tony was conservative in his choreography,
you know, so I felt that that hurt me a
lot because they would always say, you know, you're just
too rigid, you're too con and I'm like, well, I'm
just doing what i'm told. I'm just doing what i'm told.
(07:38):
I don't know what to do. I mean, if you
want me to come out and sing the SAIDs in
the bucket, I will, but I you know, the dancing part,
I don't know. But I thought they hated me from
the very beginning. And then I also thought maybe it's
something like they want to be mean to me so
that all my fans will come to my fins.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
And you know, because I was like reverse psychology, right.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I was trying to just figure it out.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
So there is a psychology that's untold on the show,
not on purpose because I'm doing these rewatches. So I'm
right now on seas the premiere of season three.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
So I thin it's fascinating to you.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
It is traumatizing, but also it's like therapeutic, yes, because
I've never seen a show like this, right, Like I've
only seen my dance so that I know what to
work on with my partner, and I've never seen but
there's a whole crazy underlying psychology on Dancing with the Stars.
Like for me, what's more important as a viewer now
is the package, not the dance. I can care less
(08:38):
what you do because if you guys don't have real chemistry,
or if there's tension packages or like meaning, or if
there's like even just the body language of someone, it's
really like for me, I'm just like, oh, why would
I vote? Why would I vote for that?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Right?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Right? If there's like nasty like hate to TheBus, of course,
because you don't want to root for that. You actually
want to root for the person who's working hard and
who has a great camaraderie with his partner and chemistry
but like but also not in a threatening way. It's interesting,
So I'm still trying to figure it out well.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
And I also feel like they do allow some people
to come on who already know how to dance.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
But they don't do well for the most part, unless
you're a Nicol Shure singer.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
But oh did she do well?
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Did she? She danced with and she also danced, So
now it's like, who is your pro partner because they
have their own fan base. So if you're gonna be
pair with Derek Huff, I mean right right, But now
he's a judge, but still like he's won six thousand
Mirrorball trophies and we've only had like thirty three seasons.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
It's crazy, exactly. That's such a great point. Yeah, And
I think Tony and Tony and I are still friends
and we still speak every now and then. And I
Livy and I did this thing called Closet Chaos during
the pandemic and where we would just go live on
(09:55):
Instagram and talk Levi's my middle child, and so we
had Tony come on. Right after we were done, Tony
called me and we caught up. And but I don't
think people loved Tony. People at the show because he
was always real sort of bullheaded about this is the
(10:17):
way I want to do it, and you know, and
then then we then we went through Ramadan.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
I heard you say this on Bobby Bones's podcast.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
And the dude would not eat. And I'm like, now
you're already so mean, mean in a in a coaching way, totally,
you know, totally, and and now you're starving to death.
So I'm like, what's it going to take to to
get you to eat? And he was like, well, if
you donate so you know, a certain amount of money
(10:49):
to my mosque that I go to, then I can
break Ramadan breakfast. So I was like, where is my checkbook?
And so I donated money to the mosque and he
broke fast and got in a little bit of a
better mood. But I was also gone through divorce, so
I was showing up crying. You remember that I was crying.
(11:10):
My eyes were puffy all the time. I mean, it
was one of the hardest yet exhilarating times of my life.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
And that's the thing. It's like you're already being like
broken open, like you're on dancing the storage. You're like,
what the heck am I doing? I'm doing this Fox shot.
My partner's really at me and I'm going through this divorce.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yes, how did you My ex husband would come to
every show and send in the audience so he could
be seen on television.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, so we weren't speaking. He was always using my
children to scare me, like, you know, not return them.
Try to paint a picture as though, you know, I'm
not a good mom because I'm on Dancing with the
Stars and I'm not with them, you know, just shit
(11:58):
like that. Yet every episode he was sitting right there
in the front road because he, you know, wanted to
be seen on TV and wanted to be a part
of it.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Do you think it was hard for him to see
you dance with Tony?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Oh, he accused me of having an affair with Tony.
He accused me of having an affair with eleven.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
People, eleven eleven on the show.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
No, just in Glee. I I don't have time to pee.
I have three babits right, much less a long time
eleven affairs. But you know, let me see this. Why
do the Why does the dancer and the contestant have
(12:39):
to touch all the time?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Look, it's beautiful. The art of ballroom, I believe is
so beautiful because you can actually execute speed and dynamics
within the two people more than you could if you
were doing it on your own, just because of gravity
and because of that lead and follow, and for me,
I love it for that. Now, why I think there's
always like so much gossip around hookups and all of
(13:04):
this is because you're taking celebrities that have never maybe
performed like this before. You're full on in and arranged
marriage in a way. Right, it's seven days a week,
regardless of what anyone says, and you need to be
vulnerable in order to do well. So you can come
on the show with ego that's fine, or you can
come on the show and be like, I'm not doing
(13:25):
what you're saying. It's only going to hurt you, yes, right,
And so on top of that, you're vulnerable, especially for
the women pros like you know, I have danced with
multiple football players who literally are like I'm nervous, like
they've never felt like this before, and you go through
this emotional roller coaster and you do develop a bond.
It doesn't mean if I'm run bying with Emmett Smith.
(13:47):
First of all, never you know, we have boundaries, right.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Like just because you're dancing together, because with somebody and
glare into their eyes and look like I'm in love.
I mean, you know, I did Crossroads with Marine five
and Adam Levine and I had the most unbelievable chemistry
on stage while we were singing together. He looks like
(14:11):
we were in love. But but that was just performance,
So I get that.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
But it's like any sex scene you would see, right,
It's not like you're not like continuing. I mean maybe
you are, but like it's just it's not I might
lose my number. I'm so tired of my partner at
the end of the season. I'm like, I don't want
to talk to you for like two months, right, like
literally lose my number. Like it's not that sexy.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Beau.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
So my listeners love you, like obviously they're all Dancing
with the stars. Fans take me through like a typical week,
because I think what fans have always wanted to know
is like how intense when people say it's consuming, Like
how consuming and like being obviously on tour and then
you know the dynamic between you and Tony.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Yeah, it was. It was the hardest thing I've ever
done in my career, my professional life, just because the
three kids. So we moved to Beverly Hills. They rented
us a beautiful home, so that part of it was great.
(15:23):
My nanny was there, so the kids, I knew you
were fine. They were having fund we had a pool,
it was It was great. However, I was still having
to do shows that I had already committed to on tour.
We we tried to minimize that as much as we could,
(15:44):
but I would say that the worst part was just
the fact that I was going through divorce and I
was always afraid that my ex was going to take
the kids, like while I was rehearsing and take them
to Oregon or just you know, take him away from me.
And even our marriage counselor said, look, stay away from
(16:06):
her during Dancing with the Stars, will reconvene afterwards. He
wouldn't hear of that. The touching part, the being with
Tony all the time, that bothered him a lot. But
I didn't give a shit because I was not. I mean,
(16:29):
I always had I said earlier. I always kind of
had this guilt because I wasn't really in love, and
you know, but I but I made three beautiful, amazing
children through it. So it's hard to say that. You know,
a typical day would be getting up super early, you know,
(16:51):
driving to the dance studio, rehearsing, and being yelled at
all day, just you know, even though like I'm trying
by Tony, by Tony all day, and he would tell
me he wanted to win. Yeah, he wanted to win.
(17:12):
And he would explain to me, like where I'm from,
this is considered Yeah, this is considered very masculine, very competitive.
So it's not personal that I'm yelling at you, So
don't take a part. But you know, I would go
to the bathroom about every thirty minutes and cry for
(17:34):
a second because I'm such a people pleaser and I
wanted and I'm also a perfectionist, so I would get
you know how when you're like in math class or
something in you there's just something you don't understand or
you can't do, and you cry. You just want to cry.
That's how I was all the time. I wanted to
cry all the time.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Were you able to be your authentic self think on
camera or why why didn't you want to cry on camera?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I was never my authentic self on camera? On Dancing
with the Stars because I thought the judges hated me,
and when he made that remark you remind me of
Barbara Bush on episode one. I thought they thought that
I was conservative and then it was political. My boots
(18:25):
were made for walking. Dance was good, No, you were
just solid. By the way, it's always harder. I say
this a million times, but it's harder to dance slow
than it is fast because with the slowness of your movement,
you see all the mistakes and you're off balance, you
see that. But when you dance fast, then you can
just like skip through. If you mess up, oh well
you don't really.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
See it, right, But like your throwaway over sway, which
is a fox shot step where like you slowly get
into the position where you're lunging your head. It was
so it was so good.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I was shocked actually, because that's hard. It was hard,
like could there have been a spicier like yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yeah, I was very, very very uncomfortable. Now I will
say when it was time, when it was go time
and we got out in front of the live audience,
well that's.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
My of course, that's a your arena.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yeah, So when I got in front of the live audience.
My performance instinct took over. That helped a lot. A
lot of people are so scared of that. Yeah, I
loved that part of it. That was my favorite part
of it.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Did you feel that people were rooting for you because
they were?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yes, I did felt the love. I felt the love.
I really did. And then all of country music, you know,
there were I don't know if you guys knew this,
but you know, country radio all over America was talking
about it. I was the first country act to go
on and they were coming to the show.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Well, this was the highest rated show ever in the
Dancing with Star's history. We had super Bowl ratings. Wow,
So for the finale, but I think it obviously it
had a lot to do with the audience you brought
as well to the show. Yeah, it was thirty five
million people tuned into the finale.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
And see that's why I didn't so when I filed
for divorce and I had to leave the show the
next day. So there was a you know, terrible thing
that happened at the Grove that restaurant.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Can you explain it? I'm sorry if you don't want
to relive it.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Well, we we were just all there eating. My ex
husband was there. He was catching on to the fact that,
you know, I was something was going to go down.
I had already you know, filed or or called my
lawyers and written done the papers and then we were
(20:51):
going to file the next day. And so I think
that he knew that and could sense that. So he
picked my son up and ran out of the restaurant
with him. Tony knew everything that was going on, because
of course we were together all the time. He knew.
In fact, when Tony first met my ex, he said,
what's wrong with your husband? Because he could tell that
(21:17):
there were a lot of problems, you know. And so
I texted Tony and I said, come over to the restaurant.
He was at the next restaurant.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Were you at that Italian place?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
We're at the time place? And he was like at
the Mexican place right right?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Or like ranch would Ranch? Yeah, yeah, exactly, I know
exactly where you are. Got it? Got it? Got it?
Speaker 2 (21:38):
So he started running out of the restaurant with my child.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
So did you see him and come in?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
And Tony started walking towards him, but he found two
off duty policemen that were eating. He basically picked them
up and said come with me. So they were coming
our way. Tony put his arm out and said stop.
I reached for my child, got him back. Police kept
(22:07):
us there. They were like, what's going on. We had
to explained the whole deal and it was just a
it was a nightmare. And the next day we were
going to start the group dance.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
So this show was about ten weeks. It was ten
weeks and you left week six, which is right, you
left the best type though. Honestly, this is when we
did two dances a week. This is insanity, Like it's
insanity the amount of work. And then back then we
had result shows. There's no more result shows now, so
we had less time to rehearse, meaning like we had
a three day turnaround. Like time is not on your
(22:49):
side obviously, as you know, right, this is the one
thing Tony is. I mean, he's many things, but he'll
have your back till the day you die. He did.
Did you feel protected by him?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Absolutely? I mean he would have killed my ex husband,
killed that night, literally killed, if he had not gotten
hold of himself and realized like I've got it, Yeah,
I can't run out of here with our child and
take him away from his mother. And my two girls
were there too. They were babies, both of them in diapers.
(23:20):
So Tony would have.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Killed him killed, yeah, like and no regrets.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, because Tony had to go through all of our
training in the whole season with me crying constantly, and.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Well he also he has love for you, you know,
and like he has kids, he has his own family,
his own wife, that's right. I remember him saying this
to me, like I can't even imagine, like if this
guy and then I would I remember him always talking
to the producers about it because we were all worried
about you, and especially in the makeup trailer, like I
just I mean I was so young then, but I
(23:54):
was just like I just wanted to give you a hug,
like I couldn't even imagine, and like, to be honest,
I just felt so much compassion. And at the same time,
I was like, how is she still doing the show?
Was it a hard decision for you to bow out?
Or was it like, no, I have to do this
for my family. Was it like you knew you had
(24:16):
to do this.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I because of what they went through, especially my son,
because of that night. The next day, I was going
to have to be gone like twelve hours learning the
group dance.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
It's like that's the last thing you want to do, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
And I was like, I'm not leaving them for five seconds.
So I just called my manager and I said, I
have to quit the show. I'm so sorry. So Dancing
they were pretty good about it. They just said, if
you'll give us an interview and let the fans know
why you're leaving, And so I just said, you know,
(24:51):
I'm going through a divorce and something happened that was
very traumatic for my children, and I can't leave them.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Tom Bergeron did this sit down, and ye.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yes, Tony did the interview with me, which was so helpful,
and and then we basically left. But you know, like
even with your dog, like you can't imagine something that's
traumatic happening and then having them be gone the whole
next day. No way, that's not worth it.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Nothing is that's your I mean, yeah, I can't even
imagine with kids, But like if I'm like this with
my little friend seet, oh my goodness, that's right there.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
No way. But thank you for saying that, because I
I had no idea that you guys even knew.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Well, we didn't I didn't know. No, you know, as
dancers to where we feel everything like our energies, and
I just I just knew that there was nothing we
could do other than just be here whenever you needed us, Like, yeah,
we were sending you so much love. And you know,
Xena still does my makeup. I love. Yeah, so she
loves you. She's the head of the makeup department now
(25:57):
at the Stars High. So she just did it this
morning because like I had to do. Jennifer Hudson, she
loves you.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Oh my god, the way, thank you shout out to
Ze enough of her, she was my favorite far.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
She loved you, and she just again like we did
talk about, you know, today we're going to do this
interview and she just wants she just we just love
you so much and I'm just so happy you're in
a better place today.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Would you ever do the show again? If they asked?
Speaker 2 (26:25):
We talked about doing the show again, and they told
me that because I've already done it, that I have
an advantage over other people.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
When did you guys talk about doing it? Was it
for All Stars?
Speaker 2 (26:37):
No, it was about four years ago. Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah, I've always said the show should do because like
Jewel was supposed to do the show, but she got injured,
so she had to bow out. There's a lot of
people that have gotten injured that had to or whatever. Yeah,
they left right, So I think they have enough people
now to where you could do a full season. I think.
But would you do it?
Speaker 2 (26:57):
I would? You really would?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
I knowing consuming it is.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Well, because all my kids are grown right, and so
I don't have the and and they would come out
with me and live here. We would live here, do it?
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Who would you want to?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I would have to dance with Tony?
Speaker 1 (27:15):
No, because Tony's on the show shoot.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Would they let him back on?
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Probably if you request him.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yeah, I would have to dance with Tony, just because
he was such a faithful friend to me, and and
so was his wife. She was there were also times
where she would comfort me and you know, yeah, yeah,
it was it was you know, thank God. I grew
(27:41):
up on a farm. I learned how to be very
resilient and hard working. And my life has just been
a series of one incredibly dramatic thing after another, and
it but I always believe that, you know, God is
always part acting and providing, and so dancing with the
(28:03):
Stars could have been my way of escaping what I
was going through, finding strength or finding strength to be done.
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
So I've heard you say that if you stayed on
the show that you would have won. Spill the tea
over emmittt. Smith, over mister Twinkletoes himself. You really think, so, Sarah, Well.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm not gonna
sit here and say that over you.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
No, No, it's not about me. It's Dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
No, But I mean you are walking awesome and I
love Like this sounds weird, but I always loved your body.
I was always like, oh my god, because you're You're
(28:54):
Kirby sexy. So when you danced in those ways, it
wasn't like the the you were just so fit and curvy.
And I don't know, I love your my favorite one
to watch dance by far far and for real and
(29:16):
I and I had fun hanging with you and partying
with you. But I think I would have won because
of the country fans.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
They're die hard. Yes, I'm telling you, I think Duliche
and I won because we danced to save a horse,
ride a cowboy. That's literally why we want. It's not
even what we shook what we did, like the execution
of our dance, because it was real basic. It was
a great dance. I mean yeah, but it was like
come on, like it wasn't like so crazy complicated, but
it was because of big and Rich I'm telling you
right now, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Absolutely, And that's why I think I would have won.
Because country fans, I feel like they're.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Friends, you know, real people.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
They're very real people. They're all from Middle America. They're
not from la or New York. They're just people just
like me. I grew up on a farm in Missouri,
and so those are my fans. I'm sure they were
like you know at the time, because oh my god,
they were very easy for Sarah. Because so that's why
(30:17):
I think I would have won, not because of my
dancing skills, but because of them, loyal fans. Loyal fans.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Going back to how open you are. First of all,
I'm a huge advocate for mental health, so I really
appreciate your transparency and how vulnerable you are. What makes
you want to share your experiences with the world, Because
like you said, it isn't perfect ebbs and flows right, right,
but it also can't be easy to have to face either.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
You know, I don't like it when people assume that
stars have perfect lives. I think it damages normal people.
It's very unhealthy. The Kardashians, I love them. I love
watching their show because I like watching their I like
their fashion and you know, looking at their hair and
(31:09):
makeup and and I really and truly do like Kim Kardashian. However,
I think they are tone deaf at times when the
world's going through you know, hard financial times, and they're like,
check out my knee Bentley and you know, all this stuff.
So I don't think that's good mentally for people. And
(31:30):
now that we have TikTok and Instagram and the phones,
and parents are giving their children phone smartphones way way,
way too young. So they're looking at a Kardashian or
even if you want to even say Sarah Evans or
(31:50):
Sholburt and they're saying, my life sucks compared to hers,
because she's beautiful, she's rich, she's the So that's why
I'm so open, because I want people to know that
life is hard for everybody. I mean, I got to
hit black car when I was eight years old, almost died.
I almost died in a plane crash, I fell in
(32:12):
a sewer, almost drowned. Like, I've had three near death experiences. Yes,
And I've been through divorce. I've been through trouble in
my marriage with Jay, and so I've always been an
open person. I was born an optimist, and I feel
(32:34):
like people should believe that God is always providing and
protecting and that their life is wonderful and that I'm
probably I'm probably living a more stressful life than the
(32:57):
normal person. So I like for people to know that.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
You're also under a microscope. Yeah, so, like what is
the difference? Honestly, it's the fact that everything is just
magnified times a thousand, right, Like people get divorced, but
try to get a divorce.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
In the limelight.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
And I hate it when like preachers or you know,
they'll get up on the pulpit because I'm a strong believer.
I'm a strong Christian, but I don't like organized religion.
I hate it when a preacher will get up on
the pulpit and be like, you know, you may be
a famous person, but you're da da da, and you
don't you know, know the Lord because you're that's not true.
(33:35):
I mean just because you're famous. I mean I'm famous
because I worked my ass off. You're famous because you
worked your ass off dancing and training and you know, but.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
We like it worked your ass off, like yeah, even
before the fame, like before the right, right, right.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
We work hard. I mean probably harder than a lot.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Of just you know, it's not a nine to five job.
Our job is not nine to five, is what I'm
trying to say. Yeah, yeah, like it really is twenty
four to seven.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
That's right, it's twenty four to seven. We choose it,
and we choose it, and it's it's heaven and hell
and any documentary that you watch, you know, like we
just watched a documentary about the Eagles recently, and it's
heaven and hell at the same time. It's a blessing
anacurse at the same time. And yes, we may have
money because of it, but money is not happiness. Money
(34:30):
is just makes things easy or hard or hard.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
It could be complicated.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Yeah, it depends on how you view it.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
How do you handle with fame comes people's opinions, How
do you handle all of this?
Speaker 2 (34:44):
It bothers me, it does, Yes, I won't say that
it doesn't. I have an eating disorder, got it, I
I am. I'm more scared of being fat than anything
in the world. And that's not good. That's not normal.
Body dysmorphia. Body body dysmorphia me too, by the way.
(35:05):
So I saw you do yes every day and I
believe that being a dancer as well. And yeah, and
anytime you're on stage and you're being judged, you know,
my record label after I every time I'd had a baby,
they would be like, when's she gonna lose weight? You know,
and so things like that would just get in my head.
(35:25):
I'm a people pleaser. I'm a performance based Like if
I'm skinny and I'm pretty and I did a good show,
then I'm loved. Oh no, girl, I tell you yeah,
So you know, and I want to feel loved no
matter what I mean. Who doesn't correct exactly? And I
was reading comments on one of my podcasts the other
(35:46):
day and somebody goes, what happened to your face? And
that bothered me all day long, all day long, and
I just wanted to respond like, how dare you? But
it's always that person. You go to their site and
they have they have never posted and they have zero followers.
Not I haven't done anything to my face. I've had botox,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
If people think I got a whole face redone, I'm like, really,
when did I do this?
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yeah? I mean you want to know what happened in
my face? I'm fifty two.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Right, you face in front of people. Though, by the
way we all evolve, everyone needs to calm down. Yes, yeah,
so frustrating, but then you also have to like for me,
I have to realize, like, I'm never going to get
everyone to like me, right, but.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I want it.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
I have abandonment issue. It was like saying I've had
daddy issues saying me too, Like that is definitely something
that I just want. And I also found out the
hard way. I can't by love, that's for sure. Yeah,
even if I've tried. Yeah, Like, there's no way no.
And then it goes back to me right, which is
(36:53):
why I'm choosing to be single after my divorce, because
I'm just like, if I don't love myself, or if
I don't if I don't have any self worth, how
the hell am I going to pick somebody who has
that for himself, let alone has that for me?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
And the correct person well, right.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, And mind you though, and I'm the correct person
for me right now, because like I continue on this
horrible pattern of dating the same type of men, which
clearly doesn't work right, It just doesn't.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
How old were you when did your parents divorce?
Speaker 1 (37:27):
When I was two? My first memories of my father
cheating on my mom when I was time, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
I was twelve, and so I had my dad for
twelve years and he adored me. Well then, I think
I don't know his he passed in twenty one. I
think he was so heartbroken and my parents had five
children together. I think he was so heartbroken that he
(37:52):
couldn't be around us. Really, so I was always chasing
after him and wanting his love, and that translated into men,
and then that translates to everybody.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Right, But then you can change it, right.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
But at the same time, I do have strong convictions,
and so when I stand up for myself, it it
bothers people because they're used to me being such a
people pleaser. So when I do stand up for myself
or say that's unacceptable or I won't do that, I
(38:32):
have boundaries. When I have boundaries, Yes, when I put
up boundaries, it makes people angry.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Yeah, but by the way, that's normal, right.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
But then you get in the cycle again of like,
I'm sorry, don't be mad at me. If it wasn't
for my three children, I would die. And I have
my husband sitting right here, but if I didn't have them,
I would die because they love me. And I will say, Okay,
(39:04):
I'm just going to brag on myself for one second.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Girl, go for it. You deserve it.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
And I'm a great mom. I know I'm a great
I could tell thank you. It's it's the it's the
first thing I care about in the world, besides my
relationship with God and my marriage. And you know they
always say like it's you know, God and your marriage
and and your kids. I think with a second marriage
it's not quite that. But Jay adopted my children and
(39:32):
he raised them with me. So but Jay knows that
he or nobody competes with no one's going to compete
with them because they're so sweet to me all the time.
And I raised them with a lot of respect, so
I started. I respected them. I never yelled at them.
(39:55):
I never, I mean I spanked them because I wanted
them to be good people and discipline, but I never have.
I've never disrespected them, especially my son. When he was
around twelve, I stopped mothering him in that way like no,
(40:16):
uh uh no, you know, get clean your you know,
never because that respect is reciprocal.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
You know that's actually and is that how you were raised?
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Yeah, my mom was real nice to me. My mom
is just not real emotional. And I'm overly emotional with
my children in the lovely way like if Audrey says, Okay,
I'm gonna go shower, I'm like, okay, I love you because.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
She's going upstairs. That's needed because she's going upstairs. Did
they ever feel like do they come to you for
like if they have home so they're an open book
with you?
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Oh my gosh, I mean overly.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
And did you feel like that with your parents?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Not with my dad at all? I mean because like
I said, I was always chasing my dad. My dad
married two more times after my parents divorced, and both
times he had a stepdaughter that was my age, and
he was, like I said, he was a bad divorced dad.
So he didn't get it. He didn't understand what I
(41:22):
was going through and that I needed him and I
craved him so much. Now my mom I could have
real good conversations with and she's but she's from the
Midwest and she's a farmer, and we're not overly emotional.
So I decided when I had kids that I was
(41:43):
going to be very emotional with them in a positive.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Way, Like, because feelings are okay to have, right, Like,
there's nothing wrong with showing your feelings.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Yes, Like my son tells me everything. My girls tell
me everything, even if it's the worst possible thing you
can imagine, because they feel saffe with you. Yeah, because
they know they're loved unconditionally. They know that from J two,
you know that we're both gonna love them no matter what. Unconditionally.
(42:12):
We're never gonna yell at them, We're never gonna humiliate them.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
But you're such an amazing mom. Thank you, really, thank
you Before we move on, for just like two fan
questions here, even though there's a million, what is one
thing one takeaway from just that your time when you
did dance with the stars through your divorce, and something
that I guess for anyone who's in a similar situation,
(42:40):
what would what advice would you give them?
Speaker 2 (42:42):
I think I learned how strong I am dancing with
the stars taught me so much about myself that I
could accept a challenge. I could do something scary. I
could work myself to the bones, as you very well
(43:02):
know from being on the show all those years. And
I just remember thinking, if I can do this, I
can pretty much do anything, because this is the hardest
thing I've ever done. And at the same time, I
loved it, I really really loved it. I would do
it again in a heartbeat.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
I heard you say on Bobby Bones' podcast, I love him,
by the way.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
Isn't he great? I love his story as an asshole,
I am a fan of me too, And I told him,
but I get him his face, I said, I thought
you were an.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Ass because of his trauma. I don't want to talk
about him, but I totally get it. I totally get it.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Okay, two fan questions really quick. But I did hear it. Wait,
I was gonna say, I heard you say that you
felt embarrassed when you did the show. What can you
say more like? Was it just because of the.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
I thought I wasn't very good?
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Is it the judges?
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Got it?
Speaker 2 (43:56):
That just embarrassed me. That lady judge carry Yeah, she
was never nice. To me until the very end, until
I did the boots are made for walking thing, and
then she was like, yes, that's what I wanted to see.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
And I was just like, You're like, what do you
want to show me?
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Yeah? I just wanted to be like, show me right exactly,
you get your ass out here and do it.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
At Bella Verea. I would love to know the process
of the album, your new album. It's amazing. Thank you
from writing it, and how you feel now that it's released.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Writing the album was very hard because Jane and I
were separated, and so when you wrote it, when I
wrote it, I was I mean every song was so depressed.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Was it therapeutic at the same time or no?
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Yeah, it was because I would we have to explain
to my co writers at least a little bit. You know,
they're like, what's of you? And you know I would cry.
Then I wrote a song with a guy named Jeff
Trot who has co produced all of Sheryl Crowe's records.
(45:17):
He wrote if It makes You Happy by himself like
and we wrote twenty one Days together. That was the
first song we wrote. When I wrote that song with him,
he made a little demo sent it back to me,
and I was like, no, I'm going to take this
record in a different way and I'm going to ask
him to co produce with me. Then the record became
(45:39):
a little happier, it became a little more But at
the same time, Jane and I were getting back together,
we were moving back in together. We were you know,
I was so relieved that we didn't divorce, and so
the songs started changing to being a little more positive.
Now Pride is the lead single. Reason I name the
(46:01):
album Unbroke is because it has two meanings. The song
talks about divorce. When you have children and you divorce,
nobody's hearts get out unbroke because it breaks everyone's hearts.
You're you're extended families, your kids, your cousins, I mean everybody.
(46:24):
It breaks everybody's heart, you know, because everybody's I don't know,
you know, it's a loss of a dream and death.
You're grieving a death. Absolutely, And so the song says,
nobody's heart gets out unbroke. Now that title is means
(46:46):
something different. Now the title is we're back together and
we are unbroken. We're unbroken. We're I mean, yeah, we're unbroken,
and we're we're like humpty dumpty. I mean, we've been
put back together. And I'm so proud of this record
(47:08):
because it's deep and it's I'm a lyricist and you know,
more than more than Melody got it, and so I'm
I'm just really really proud of it.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
And but it's so real and raw. Thank you, Like
you're definitely one to just I think that's honestly why
everyone loves you, because like I can relate to your
story like millions others can relate to your story. Yes,
and that is something in your messaging and just like
you're not trying to be something, You're just being yourself
because at the end of the day, that's all you
(47:38):
can be, right, That's right, that's your unique self. I
wish I could look up to somebody when I was
younger going through a lot of stuff, but no one
was able to talk about it, right. So I'm so
grateful for you, really and thank you and your story
even if it's not, you know, a fairy tale, because
what the hell, that's not real. Let's be real, it's
(47:58):
not real, the Notebook's not.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
It's the main we can do in this life is
love each other and just allow people to be who
they are and and have their own opinions.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
And you are just sending that message every single day,
so through your music, through your voice, and you know
your podcast is amazing.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (48:30):
Is it hard to open up? Like, do you want
to talk about your podcast? You don't like it?
Speaker 2 (48:36):
I don't. I mean, I I love doing the podcast,
and I'm you know, I'm not a journalist, so I'm
I'm like, I'm learning how to you know, get people
to go deep. And I'm a good listener. But I'm
not a journalist, so I want but I'm so competitive,
so I want my podcast to do great. I'm not
going to do anything unless I think I can make
(49:00):
it great. I don't want to fail in anything.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
What does great mean to you?
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Top five?
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (49:06):
Like you like charts?
Speaker 1 (49:08):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Yes, yes, you know, ad Space, ads money, You're so real.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
I love you so much. Yes.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
If I'm not, if it's that's not going to happen,
what's the point, right, you know? And so that's just
the way I look at it. If if that's not
going to happen, then I'd rather be on the cloud
couch with Jay watching TV. But I so I do
enjoy doing the podcast. But I hate watching myself on it.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
What's the messaging that you're trying to uh, Like, what
is the through line with your podcast? What is it
that you want to share with people.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
I like interviewing other famous people and just letting the
fans here, Like, you know, I just had Martina on
and hearing her story, and man, when you get to that,
at the end of the day, we're all alike. Really,
we're all one. So they say we're so much alike,
(49:59):
we really are. We all struggle.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
Yes, it's just different, but yes, yeah, like nobody is
living life like you see on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
That's right, and don't I guess my biggest message takeaway
from this whole podcast is don't believe the Kardashians.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
That's the quote of the month. Thank you, Sarah, You're welcome.
I love you seriously. It's so good to catch up.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
I love you too, and it has been wonderful to
see you again. Good to see I follows you all
these years. I've watched all your instagrams.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
Thank you so much for coming on sex.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Thank you for having me really, and then you'll have to.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
Come on mine anytime. Make sure you guys follow us
at sex Lies and spray tands on our Instagram handle
and make sure your comment. Let me know who you
want me to interview. What do y'all think? Let me
know
This is Sex Lies and Spray Tans with me Cheryl
Burke and iHeartRadio podcast. Welcome back you guys to sex
Lizes and Spray Tans. And I have to say today's
episode is super special. I actually went to NAPA to
do this specific interview in person. So let's just get started.
We're joined by the incredibly talented Sarah Evans as she
(00:23):
opens up about her challenging yet transformative experience on Dancing
with the Stars during a pivotal moment in her life
to say the least. We really dive deep into her
journey through a tough divorce while competing on the show,
and her dynamic partnership with Tony Devlani himself and how
she was able to turn adversity into empowerment in her
(00:45):
music and personal life. Plus Sarah shares her enduring love
for the show and whether she'd even lace up her
dancing shoes again. Well, let's get started as we explore
the resilience and rebirth of a true country star. Please
welcome my friend Sarah Evans to the podcast. Cannot believe, Sarah,
(01:06):
it's been twenty freaking years almost.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I literally can't believe it. It seems like yesterday, guys, because
for me it was one of the highlights of my career.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
You know, for you it was your wob of highlights though.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Still yeah, yeah, I'll.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Never forget us in the makeup trailers because like that
is where we all really get close, because we don't
have time to do this, like sit in chat for
an hour and then you know, that is our time
in the makeup trailer, We're all freaking out and nervous.
Everyone's trying to get their eyelashes on, and like all
these conversations are happening and we're just like having fun,
you know, absolutely, so Oh my goodness. First of all,
(01:46):
congratulations on everything. I'm so happy for you. You look amazing.
Thank you. You really do. You're like glowing, like from
the inside out. Thanks, and I'm so happy. And I
have been following your career, so congratulations on everything.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
And I've been following you too. Every time I see you,
I'm just like, oh my god, you look amazing too.
By the way, I feel like I have so many
things I want to ask you.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Oh, go ahead, we can switch it, switch it around.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Well, I just when I first saw you. My main
memory of you is when we went out to the
club because I was going, I was awake, I was
kind of being a little bit wild, like I wasn't
doing anything, you know, like with guys or whatever, because
I was still married but going through the divorce. But
(02:34):
we would go out and party, and I knew how
to have fun, and you knew how to fun. You
were crazy, crazy, crazy, and but I was kind of
intimidated by you. I was intimidated about all of you.
Interesting why because you were just all so amazing and
it's not what we do.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
But even in normal like in a normal setting when
we would go to Hide, it was called Hide that club. Yes, yeah,
I was that girl once. So I was a ballroom
dancer by day and a club goer by night. That
was my job.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yeah, And I remember you like trying to get me
to even open up at Hide and dance, and you know,
just just like let loose, Let loose, you know, because
I was so kind of rigid.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Well and by the way, though, I also think that, look,
it's a whole thing like if your personal life right
at the time may have not maybe felt stable, it's
not going to necessarily translate when you're doing a show
that you have to also be vulnerable doing it's like,
it's scary. It's scary, very scary. So let's go back.
So first of all, how did you even get approached
(03:41):
to doing Dancing with the Stars And were you a fan?
Did you watch the second season?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Okay, okay, we were doing CMA fes right, I don't
know if you've ever been yes, in Nashville. Are you
country music fans? I am?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
But I also presented one seat like one year.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Oh yeah, oh very well, it's fun. Okay. So we
were doing CFS. I came off stage and the producer
what's her name, Dina Katz, was on my tour bus,
and I remember that I started watching Dancing with the
Stars and I go, oh my god, I love that
(04:15):
show and she goes, you do, and I said, yes,
I want to be on it because that's just so me,
you know, like I want to try everything. And she
was like, you do, really you would, and I said absolutely.
Well then I had a baby and so after Audrey
was born, somehow we connected. I don't know how all
this stuff happens, you know how that is? And I
(04:38):
think I believe it was on the third season and
they just called and said, you know, we want her
and went out to Oregon to do my training. In
my first meet with Tony, you found out that he
was my partner.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Did you request him?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
No? No, And the thing is, you don't. They don't
tell tell you who your partner is. They film it
right as you know, they brief They must have briefed you. No, No,
I had no idea. So like, okay, I had no
idea who Tony was.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
They definitely had to brief me for Emma Smith because
I was like, who is this dude? Like no clue whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah, yeah, well like yeah, maybe they told Tony.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
No, I think Tony. Tony definitely was a he's a
huge fan, Like he was a huge fan.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah, yeah, well he was. I was going through the
divorce and that's why I chose to rehearse in Oregon
because I was trying really hard not to get a
divorce because I didn't believe in it. I didn't want
to do it, and I just had a baby. And
you know, I always tell Audrey she's nineteen now the baby.
Can you believe that she's nineteen? She is my exact twin,
(05:47):
like one hundred, like total twin. Avery. My son is
twenty four Livey's twenty one, Audrey's nineteen and so we
were going through marriage counseling, and so he wanted to
be an Oregon and I decided to train an Oregon
(06:07):
for that summer.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
But you were also on tour.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
And I was also on tour. I was doing everything.
I mean, that was wow. And I was the only
mom on that season. So after about six hours of training,
I would start getting really a and c and want
to go home to be with the kids because I'm
obsessed with my children and two kids.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
No, okay, I might my French shee, my French bulldog.
She's like my daughter.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, so you're obsessed.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I mean literally she walks me. I don't walk her.
Like it's a weird dynamic. This is probably why I
shouldn't have kids. But uh, that's for a different podcast.
You should have kids, you'd be well, you know, yeah,
I would love to. I would love to adopt. Actually,
yeah you should. Yeah, you should think you'd be a
great mother. So I watched all your dances obviously, and
(06:53):
I believe, because like there's this thing where I don't
think it should be a rule, but I believe I
would love to have had notes from the because honestly,
we're fifty percent of this partnership, so like you are
a projection of what we give you.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Right, Yes, if.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
We say dance this routine, you're not gonna you know,
you're gonna dance the routine. Yeah, Now, if there's something
wrong with the routine, I would appreciate the feedback so
then I can be better, so that in turn you
can be better.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
That's right. That would help you, guys so much. And
then Tony could have And Tony was conservative in his choreography,
you know, so I felt that that hurt me a
lot because they would always say, you know, you're just
too rigid, you're too con and I'm like, well, I'm
just doing what i'm told. I'm just doing what i'm told.
(07:38):
I don't know what to do. I mean, if you
want me to come out and sing the SAIDs in
the bucket, I will, but I you know, the dancing part,
I don't know. But I thought they hated me from
the very beginning. And then I also thought maybe it's
something like they want to be mean to me so
that all my fans will come to my fins.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
And you know, because I was like reverse psychology, right.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I was trying to just figure it out.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
So there is a psychology that's untold on the show,
not on purpose because I'm doing these rewatches. So I'm
right now on seas the premiere of season three.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
So I thin it's fascinating to you.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
It is traumatizing, but also it's like therapeutic, yes, because
I've never seen a show like this, right, Like I've
only seen my dance so that I know what to
work on with my partner, and I've never seen but
there's a whole crazy underlying psychology on Dancing with the Stars.
Like for me, what's more important as a viewer now
is the package, not the dance. I can care less
(08:38):
what you do because if you guys don't have real chemistry,
or if there's tension packages or like meaning, or if
there's like even just the body language of someone, it's
really like for me, I'm just like, oh, why would
I vote? Why would I vote for that?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Right?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Right? If there's like nasty like hate to TheBus, of course,
because you don't want to root for that. You actually
want to root for the person who's working hard and
who has a great camaraderie with his partner and chemistry
but like but also not in a threatening way. It's interesting,
So I'm still trying to figure it out well.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
And I also feel like they do allow some people
to come on who already know how to dance.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
But they don't do well for the most part, unless
you're a Nicol Shure singer.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
But oh did she do well?
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Did she? She danced with and she also danced, So
now it's like, who is your pro partner because they
have their own fan base. So if you're gonna be
pair with Derek Huff, I mean right right, But now
he's a judge, but still like he's won six thousand
Mirrorball trophies and we've only had like thirty three seasons.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
It's crazy, exactly. That's such a great point. Yeah, And
I think Tony and Tony and I are still friends
and we still speak every now and then. And I
Livy and I did this thing called Closet Chaos during
the pandemic and where we would just go live on
(09:55):
Instagram and talk Levi's my middle child, and so we
had Tony come on. Right after we were done, Tony
called me and we caught up. And but I don't
think people loved Tony. People at the show because he
was always real sort of bullheaded about this is the
(10:17):
way I want to do it, and you know, and
then then we then we went through Ramadan.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
I heard you say this on Bobby Bones's podcast.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
And the dude would not eat. And I'm like, now
you're already so mean, mean in a in a coaching way, totally,
you know, totally, and and now you're starving to death.
So I'm like, what's it going to take to to
get you to eat? And he was like, well, if
you donate so you know, a certain amount of money
(10:49):
to my mosque that I go to, then I can
break Ramadan breakfast. So I was like, where is my checkbook?
And so I donated money to the mosque and he
broke fast and got in a little bit of a
better mood. But I was also gone through divorce, so
I was showing up crying. You remember that I was crying.
(11:10):
My eyes were puffy all the time. I mean, it
was one of the hardest yet exhilarating times of my life.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
And that's the thing. It's like you're already being like
broken open, like you're on dancing the storage. You're like,
what the heck am I doing? I'm doing this Fox shot.
My partner's really at me and I'm going through this divorce.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yes, how did you My ex husband would come to
every show and send in the audience so he could
be seen on television.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, so we weren't speaking. He was always using my
children to scare me, like, you know, not return them.
Try to paint a picture as though, you know, I'm
not a good mom because I'm on Dancing with the
Stars and I'm not with them, you know, just shit
(11:58):
like that. Yet every episode he was sitting right there
in the front road because he, you know, wanted to
be seen on TV and wanted to be a part
of it.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Do you think it was hard for him to see
you dance with Tony?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Oh, he accused me of having an affair with Tony.
He accused me of having an affair with eleven.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
People, eleven eleven on the show.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
No, just in Glee. I I don't have time to pee.
I have three babits right, much less a long time
eleven affairs. But you know, let me see this. Why
do the Why does the dancer and the contestant have
(12:39):
to touch all the time?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Look, it's beautiful. The art of ballroom, I believe is
so beautiful because you can actually execute speed and dynamics
within the two people more than you could if you
were doing it on your own, just because of gravity
and because of that lead and follow, and for me,
I love it for that. Now, why I think there's
always like so much gossip around hookups and all of
(13:04):
this is because you're taking celebrities that have never maybe
performed like this before. You're full on in and arranged
marriage in a way. Right, it's seven days a week,
regardless of what anyone says, and you need to be
vulnerable in order to do well. So you can come
on the show with ego that's fine, or you can
come on the show and be like, I'm not doing
(13:25):
what you're saying. It's only going to hurt you, yes, right,
And so on top of that, you're vulnerable, especially for
the women pros like you know, I have danced with
multiple football players who literally are like I'm nervous, like
they've never felt like this before, and you go through
this emotional roller coaster and you do develop a bond.
It doesn't mean if I'm run bying with Emmett Smith.
(13:47):
First of all, never you know, we have boundaries, right.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Like just because you're dancing together, because with somebody and
glare into their eyes and look like I'm in love.
I mean, you know, I did Crossroads with Marine five
and Adam Levine and I had the most unbelievable chemistry
on stage while we were singing together. He looks like
(14:11):
we were in love. But but that was just performance,
So I get that.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
But it's like any sex scene you would see, right,
It's not like you're not like continuing. I mean maybe
you are, but like it's just it's not I might
lose my number. I'm so tired of my partner at
the end of the season. I'm like, I don't want
to talk to you for like two months, right, like
literally lose my number. Like it's not that sexy.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Beau.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
So my listeners love you, like obviously they're all Dancing
with the stars. Fans take me through like a typical week,
because I think what fans have always wanted to know
is like how intense when people say it's consuming, Like
how consuming and like being obviously on tour and then
you know the dynamic between you and Tony.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Yeah, it was. It was the hardest thing I've ever
done in my career, my professional life, just because the
three kids. So we moved to Beverly Hills. They rented
us a beautiful home, so that part of it was great.
(15:23):
My nanny was there, so the kids, I knew you
were fine. They were having fund we had a pool,
it was It was great. However, I was still having
to do shows that I had already committed to on tour.
We we tried to minimize that as much as we could,
(15:44):
but I would say that the worst part was just
the fact that I was going through divorce and I
was always afraid that my ex was going to take
the kids, like while I was rehearsing and take them
to Oregon or just you know, take him away from me.
And even our marriage counselor said, look, stay away from
(16:06):
her during Dancing with the Stars, will reconvene afterwards. He
wouldn't hear of that. The touching part, the being with
Tony all the time, that bothered him a lot. But
I didn't give a shit because I was not. I mean,
(16:29):
I always had I said earlier. I always kind of
had this guilt because I wasn't really in love, and
you know, but I but I made three beautiful, amazing
children through it. So it's hard to say that. You know,
a typical day would be getting up super early, you know,
(16:51):
driving to the dance studio, rehearsing, and being yelled at
all day, just you know, even though like I'm trying
by Tony, by Tony all day, and he would tell
me he wanted to win. Yeah, he wanted to win.
(17:12):
And he would explain to me, like where I'm from,
this is considered Yeah, this is considered very masculine, very competitive.
So it's not personal that I'm yelling at you, So
don't take a part. But you know, I would go
to the bathroom about every thirty minutes and cry for
(17:34):
a second because I'm such a people pleaser and I
wanted and I'm also a perfectionist, so I would get
you know how when you're like in math class or
something in you there's just something you don't understand or
you can't do, and you cry. You just want to cry.
That's how I was all the time. I wanted to
cry all the time.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Were you able to be your authentic self think on
camera or why why didn't you want to cry on camera?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I was never my authentic self on camera? On Dancing
with the Stars because I thought the judges hated me,
and when he made that remark you remind me of
Barbara Bush on episode one. I thought they thought that
I was conservative and then it was political. My boots
(18:25):
were made for walking. Dance was good, No, you were
just solid. By the way, it's always harder. I say
this a million times, but it's harder to dance slow
than it is fast because with the slowness of your movement,
you see all the mistakes and you're off balance, you
see that. But when you dance fast, then you can
just like skip through. If you mess up, oh well
you don't really.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
See it, right, But like your throwaway over sway, which
is a fox shot step where like you slowly get
into the position where you're lunging your head. It was
so it was so good.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I was shocked actually, because that's hard. It was hard,
like could there have been a spicier like yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yeah, I was very, very very uncomfortable. Now I will
say when it was time, when it was go time
and we got out in front of the live audience,
well that's.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
My of course, that's a your arena.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yeah, So when I got in front of the live audience.
My performance instinct took over. That helped a lot. A
lot of people are so scared of that. Yeah, I
loved that part of it. That was my favorite part
of it.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Did you feel that people were rooting for you because
they were?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yes, I did felt the love. I felt the love.
I really did. And then all of country music, you know,
there were I don't know if you guys knew this,
but you know, country radio all over America was talking
about it. I was the first country act to go
on and they were coming to the show.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Well, this was the highest rated show ever in the
Dancing with Star's history. We had super Bowl ratings. Wow,
So for the finale, but I think it obviously it
had a lot to do with the audience you brought
as well to the show. Yeah, it was thirty five
million people tuned into the finale.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
And see that's why I didn't so when I filed
for divorce and I had to leave the show the
next day. So there was a you know, terrible thing
that happened at the Grove that restaurant.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Can you explain it? I'm sorry if you don't want
to relive it.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Well, we we were just all there eating. My ex
husband was there. He was catching on to the fact that,
you know, I was something was going to go down.
I had already you know, filed or or called my
lawyers and written done the papers and then we were
(20:51):
going to file the next day. And so I think
that he knew that and could sense that. So he
picked my son up and ran out of the restaurant
with him. Tony knew everything that was going on, because
of course we were together all the time. He knew.
In fact, when Tony first met my ex, he said,
what's wrong with your husband? Because he could tell that
(21:17):
there were a lot of problems, you know. And so
I texted Tony and I said, come over to the restaurant.
He was at the next restaurant.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Were you at that Italian place?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
We're at the time place? And he was like at
the Mexican place right right?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Or like ranch would Ranch? Yeah, yeah, exactly, I know
exactly where you are. Got it? Got it? Got it?
Speaker 2 (21:38):
So he started running out of the restaurant with my child.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
So did you see him and come in?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
And Tony started walking towards him, but he found two
off duty policemen that were eating. He basically picked them
up and said come with me. So they were coming
our way. Tony put his arm out and said stop.
I reached for my child, got him back. Police kept
(22:07):
us there. They were like, what's going on. We had
to explained the whole deal and it was just a
it was a nightmare. And the next day we were
going to start the group dance.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
So this show was about ten weeks. It was ten
weeks and you left week six, which is right, you
left the best type though. Honestly, this is when we
did two dances a week. This is insanity, Like it's
insanity the amount of work. And then back then we
had result shows. There's no more result shows now, so
we had less time to rehearse, meaning like we had
a three day turnaround. Like time is not on your
(22:49):
side obviously, as you know, right, this is the one
thing Tony is. I mean, he's many things, but he'll
have your back till the day you die. He did.
Did you feel protected by him?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Absolutely? I mean he would have killed my ex husband,
killed that night, literally killed, if he had not gotten
hold of himself and realized like I've got it, Yeah,
I can't run out of here with our child and
take him away from his mother. And my two girls
were there too. They were babies, both of them in diapers.
(23:20):
So Tony would have.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Killed him killed, yeah, like and no regrets.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, because Tony had to go through all of our
training in the whole season with me crying constantly, and.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Well he also he has love for you, you know,
and like he has kids, he has his own family,
his own wife, that's right. I remember him saying this
to me, like I can't even imagine, like if this
guy and then I would I remember him always talking
to the producers about it because we were all worried
about you, and especially in the makeup trailer, like I
just I mean I was so young then, but I
(23:54):
was just like I just wanted to give you a hug,
like I couldn't even imagine, and like, to be honest,
I just felt so much compassion. And at the same time,
I was like, how is she still doing the show?
Was it a hard decision for you to bow out?
Or was it like, no, I have to do this
for my family. Was it like you knew you had
(24:16):
to do this.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I because of what they went through, especially my son,
because of that night. The next day, I was going
to have to be gone like twelve hours learning the
group dance.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
It's like that's the last thing you want to do, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
And I was like, I'm not leaving them for five seconds.
So I just called my manager and I said, I
have to quit the show. I'm so sorry. So Dancing
they were pretty good about it. They just said, if
you'll give us an interview and let the fans know
why you're leaving, And so I just said, you know,
(24:51):
I'm going through a divorce and something happened that was
very traumatic for my children, and I can't leave them.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Tom Bergeron did this sit down, and ye.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yes, Tony did the interview with me, which was so helpful,
and and then we basically left. But you know, like
even with your dog, like you can't imagine something that's
traumatic happening and then having them be gone the whole
next day. No way, that's not worth it.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Nothing is that's your I mean, yeah, I can't even
imagine with kids, But like if I'm like this with
my little friend seet, oh my goodness, that's right there.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
No way. But thank you for saying that, because I
I had no idea that you guys even knew.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Well, we didn't I didn't know. No, you know, as
dancers to where we feel everything like our energies, and
I just I just knew that there was nothing we
could do other than just be here whenever you needed us, Like, yeah,
we were sending you so much love. And you know,
Xena still does my makeup. I love. Yeah, so she
loves you. She's the head of the makeup department now
(25:57):
at the Stars High. So she just did it this
morning because like I had to do. Jennifer Hudson, she
loves you.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Oh my god, the way, thank you shout out to
Ze enough of her, she was my favorite far.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
She loved you, and she just again like we did
talk about, you know, today we're going to do this
interview and she just wants she just we just love
you so much and I'm just so happy you're in
a better place today.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Would you ever do the show again? If they asked?
Speaker 2 (26:25):
We talked about doing the show again, and they told
me that because I've already done it, that I have
an advantage over other people.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
When did you guys talk about doing it? Was it
for All Stars?
Speaker 2 (26:37):
No, it was about four years ago. Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah, I've always said the show should do because like
Jewel was supposed to do the show, but she got injured,
so she had to bow out. There's a lot of
people that have gotten injured that had to or whatever. Yeah,
they left right, So I think they have enough people
now to where you could do a full season. I think.
But would you do it?
Speaker 2 (26:57):
I would? You really would?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
I knowing consuming it is.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Well, because all my kids are grown right, and so
I don't have the and and they would come out
with me and live here. We would live here, do it?
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Who would you want to?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I would have to dance with Tony?
Speaker 1 (27:15):
No, because Tony's on the show shoot.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Would they let him back on?
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Probably if you request him.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yeah, I would have to dance with Tony, just because
he was such a faithful friend to me, and and
so was his wife. She was there were also times
where she would comfort me and you know, yeah, yeah,
it was it was you know, thank God. I grew
(27:41):
up on a farm. I learned how to be very
resilient and hard working. And my life has just been
a series of one incredibly dramatic thing after another, and
it but I always believe that, you know, God is
always part acting and providing, and so dancing with the
(28:03):
Stars could have been my way of escaping what I
was going through, finding strength or finding strength to be done.
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
So I've heard you say that if you stayed on
the show that you would have won. Spill the tea
over emmittt. Smith, over mister Twinkletoes himself. You really think, so, Sarah, Well.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm not gonna
sit here and say that over you.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
No, No, it's not about me. It's Dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
No, But I mean you are walking awesome and I
love Like this sounds weird, but I always loved your body.
I was always like, oh my god, because you're You're
(28:54):
Kirby sexy. So when you danced in those ways, it
wasn't like the the you were just so fit and curvy.
And I don't know, I love your my favorite one
to watch dance by far far and for real and
(29:16):
I and I had fun hanging with you and partying
with you. But I think I would have won because
of the country fans.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
They're die hard. Yes, I'm telling you, I think Duliche
and I won because we danced to save a horse,
ride a cowboy. That's literally why we want. It's not
even what we shook what we did, like the execution
of our dance, because it was real basic. It was
a great dance. I mean yeah, but it was like
come on, like it wasn't like so crazy complicated, but
it was because of big and Rich I'm telling you
right now, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Absolutely, And that's why I think I would have won.
Because country fans, I feel like they're.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Friends, you know, real people.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
They're very real people. They're all from Middle America. They're
not from la or New York. They're just people just
like me. I grew up on a farm in Missouri,
and so those are my fans. I'm sure they were
like you know at the time, because oh my god,
they were very easy for Sarah. Because so that's why
(30:17):
I think I would have won, not because of my
dancing skills, but because of them, loyal fans. Loyal fans.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Going back to how open you are. First of all,
I'm a huge advocate for mental health, so I really
appreciate your transparency and how vulnerable you are. What makes
you want to share your experiences with the world, Because
like you said, it isn't perfect ebbs and flows right, right,
but it also can't be easy to have to face either.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
You know, I don't like it when people assume that
stars have perfect lives. I think it damages normal people.
It's very unhealthy. The Kardashians, I love them. I love
watching their show because I like watching their I like
their fashion and you know, looking at their hair and
(31:09):
makeup and and I really and truly do like Kim Kardashian. However,
I think they are tone deaf at times when the
world's going through you know, hard financial times, and they're like,
check out my knee Bentley and you know, all this stuff.
So I don't think that's good mentally for people. And
(31:30):
now that we have TikTok and Instagram and the phones,
and parents are giving their children phone smartphones way way,
way too young. So they're looking at a Kardashian or
even if you want to even say Sarah Evans or
(31:50):
Sholburt and they're saying, my life sucks compared to hers,
because she's beautiful, she's rich, she's the So that's why
I'm so open, because I want people to know that
life is hard for everybody. I mean, I got to
hit black car when I was eight years old, almost died.
I almost died in a plane crash, I fell in
(32:12):
a sewer, almost drowned. Like, I've had three near death experiences. Yes,
And I've been through divorce. I've been through trouble in
my marriage with Jay, and so I've always been an
open person. I was born an optimist, and I feel
(32:34):
like people should believe that God is always providing and
protecting and that their life is wonderful and that I'm
probably I'm probably living a more stressful life than the
(32:57):
normal person. So I like for people to know that.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
You're also under a microscope. Yeah, so, like what is
the difference? Honestly, it's the fact that everything is just
magnified times a thousand, right, Like people get divorced, but
try to get a divorce.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
In the limelight.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
And I hate it when like preachers or you know,
they'll get up on the pulpit because I'm a strong believer.
I'm a strong Christian, but I don't like organized religion.
I hate it when a preacher will get up on
the pulpit and be like, you know, you may be
a famous person, but you're da da da, and you
don't you know, know the Lord because you're that's not true.
(33:35):
I mean just because you're famous. I mean I'm famous
because I worked my ass off. You're famous because you
worked your ass off dancing and training and you know, but.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
We like it worked your ass off, like yeah, even
before the fame, like before the right, right, right.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
We work hard. I mean probably harder than a lot.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Of just you know, it's not a nine to five job.
Our job is not nine to five, is what I'm
trying to say. Yeah, yeah, like it really is twenty
four to seven.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
That's right, it's twenty four to seven. We choose it,
and we choose it, and it's it's heaven and hell
and any documentary that you watch, you know, like we
just watched a documentary about the Eagles recently, and it's
heaven and hell at the same time. It's a blessing
anacurse at the same time. And yes, we may have
money because of it, but money is not happiness. Money
(34:30):
is just makes things easy or hard or hard.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
It could be complicated.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Yeah, it depends on how you view it.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
How do you handle with fame comes people's opinions, How
do you handle all of this?
Speaker 2 (34:44):
It bothers me, it does, Yes, I won't say that
it doesn't. I have an eating disorder, got it, I
I am. I'm more scared of being fat than anything
in the world. And that's not good. That's not normal.
Body dysmorphia. Body body dysmorphia me too, by the way.
(35:05):
So I saw you do yes every day and I
believe that being a dancer as well. And yeah, and
anytime you're on stage and you're being judged, you know,
my record label after I every time I'd had a baby,
they would be like, when's she gonna lose weight? You know,
and so things like that would just get in my head.
(35:25):
I'm a people pleaser. I'm a performance based Like if
I'm skinny and I'm pretty and I did a good show,
then I'm loved. Oh no, girl, I tell you yeah,
So you know, and I want to feel loved no
matter what I mean. Who doesn't correct exactly? And I
was reading comments on one of my podcasts the other
(35:46):
day and somebody goes, what happened to your face? And
that bothered me all day long, all day long, and
I just wanted to respond like, how dare you? But
it's always that person. You go to their site and
they have they have never posted and they have zero followers.
Not I haven't done anything to my face. I've had botox,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
If people think I got a whole face redone, I'm like, really,
when did I do this?
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yeah? I mean you want to know what happened in
my face? I'm fifty two.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Right, you face in front of people. Though, by the
way we all evolve, everyone needs to calm down. Yes, yeah,
so frustrating, but then you also have to like for me,
I have to realize, like, I'm never going to get
everyone to like me, right, but.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I want it.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
I have abandonment issue. It was like saying I've had
daddy issues saying me too, Like that is definitely something
that I just want. And I also found out the
hard way. I can't by love, that's for sure. Yeah,
even if I've tried. Yeah, Like, there's no way no.
And then it goes back to me right, which is
(36:53):
why I'm choosing to be single after my divorce, because
I'm just like, if I don't love myself, or if
I don't if I don't have any self worth, how
the hell am I going to pick somebody who has
that for himself, let alone has that for me?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
And the correct person well, right.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, And mind you though, and I'm the correct person
for me right now, because like I continue on this
horrible pattern of dating the same type of men, which
clearly doesn't work right, It just doesn't.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
How old were you when did your parents divorce?
Speaker 1 (37:27):
When I was two? My first memories of my father
cheating on my mom when I was time, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
I was twelve, and so I had my dad for
twelve years and he adored me. Well then, I think
I don't know his he passed in twenty one. I
think he was so heartbroken and my parents had five
children together. I think he was so heartbroken that he
(37:52):
couldn't be around us. Really, so I was always chasing
after him and wanting his love, and that translated into men,
and then that translates to everybody.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Right, But then you can change it, right.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
But at the same time, I do have strong convictions,
and so when I stand up for myself, it it
bothers people because they're used to me being such a
people pleaser. So when I do stand up for myself
or say that's unacceptable or I won't do that, I
(38:32):
have boundaries. When I have boundaries, Yes, when I put
up boundaries, it makes people angry.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Yeah, but by the way, that's normal, right.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
But then you get in the cycle again of like,
I'm sorry, don't be mad at me. If it wasn't
for my three children, I would die. And I have
my husband sitting right here, but if I didn't have them,
I would die because they love me. And I will say, Okay,
(39:04):
I'm just going to brag on myself for one second.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Girl, go for it. You deserve it.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
And I'm a great mom. I know I'm a great
I could tell thank you. It's it's the it's the
first thing I care about in the world, besides my
relationship with God and my marriage. And you know they
always say like it's you know, God and your marriage
and and your kids. I think with a second marriage
it's not quite that. But Jay adopted my children and
(39:32):
he raised them with me. So but Jay knows that
he or nobody competes with no one's going to compete
with them because they're so sweet to me all the time.
And I raised them with a lot of respect, so
I started. I respected them. I never yelled at them.
(39:55):
I never, I mean I spanked them because I wanted
them to be good people and discipline, but I never have.
I've never disrespected them, especially my son. When he was
around twelve, I stopped mothering him in that way like no,
(40:16):
uh uh no, you know, get clean your you know,
never because that respect is reciprocal.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
You know that's actually and is that how you were raised?
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Yeah, my mom was real nice to me. My mom
is just not real emotional. And I'm overly emotional with
my children in the lovely way like if Audrey says, Okay,
I'm gonna go shower, I'm like, okay, I love you because.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
She's going upstairs. That's needed because she's going upstairs. Did
they ever feel like do they come to you for
like if they have home so they're an open book
with you?
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Oh my gosh, I mean overly.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
And did you feel like that with your parents?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Not with my dad at all? I mean because like
I said, I was always chasing my dad. My dad
married two more times after my parents divorced, and both
times he had a stepdaughter that was my age, and
he was, like I said, he was a bad divorced dad.
So he didn't get it. He didn't understand what I
(41:22):
was going through and that I needed him and I
craved him so much. Now my mom I could have
real good conversations with and she's but she's from the
Midwest and she's a farmer, and we're not overly emotional.
So I decided when I had kids that I was
(41:43):
going to be very emotional with them in a positive.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Way, Like, because feelings are okay to have, right, Like,
there's nothing wrong with showing your feelings.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Yes, Like my son tells me everything. My girls tell
me everything, even if it's the worst possible thing you
can imagine, because they feel saffe with you. Yeah, because
they know they're loved unconditionally. They know that from J two,
you know that we're both gonna love them no matter what. Unconditionally.
(42:12):
We're never gonna yell at them, We're never gonna humiliate them.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
But you're such an amazing mom. Thank you, really, thank
you Before we move on, for just like two fan
questions here, even though there's a million, what is one
thing one takeaway from just that your time when you
did dance with the stars through your divorce, and something
that I guess for anyone who's in a similar situation,
(42:40):
what would what advice would you give them?
Speaker 2 (42:42):
I think I learned how strong I am dancing with
the stars taught me so much about myself that I
could accept a challenge. I could do something scary. I
could work myself to the bones, as you very well
(43:02):
know from being on the show all those years. And
I just remember thinking, if I can do this, I
can pretty much do anything, because this is the hardest
thing I've ever done. And at the same time, I
loved it, I really really loved it. I would do
it again in a heartbeat.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
I heard you say on Bobby Bones' podcast, I love him,
by the way.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
Isn't he great? I love his story as an asshole,
I am a fan of me too, And I told him,
but I get him his face, I said, I thought
you were an.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Ass because of his trauma. I don't want to talk
about him, but I totally get it. I totally get it.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Okay, two fan questions really quick. But I did hear it. Wait,
I was gonna say, I heard you say that you
felt embarrassed when you did the show. What can you
say more like? Was it just because of the.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
I thought I wasn't very good?
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Is it the judges?
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Got it?
Speaker 2 (43:56):
That just embarrassed me. That lady judge carry Yeah, she
was never nice. To me until the very end, until
I did the boots are made for walking thing, and
then she was like, yes, that's what I wanted to see.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
And I was just like, You're like, what do you
want to show me?
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Yeah? I just wanted to be like, show me right exactly,
you get your ass out here and do it.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
At Bella Verea. I would love to know the process
of the album, your new album. It's amazing. Thank you
from writing it, and how you feel now that it's released.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Writing the album was very hard because Jane and I
were separated, and so when you wrote it, when I
wrote it, I was I mean every song was so depressed.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Was it therapeutic at the same time or no?
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Yeah, it was because I would we have to explain
to my co writers at least a little bit. You know,
they're like, what's of you? And you know I would cry.
Then I wrote a song with a guy named Jeff
Trot who has co produced all of Sheryl Crowe's records.
(45:17):
He wrote if It makes You Happy by himself like
and we wrote twenty one Days together. That was the
first song we wrote. When I wrote that song with him,
he made a little demo sent it back to me,
and I was like, no, I'm going to take this
record in a different way and I'm going to ask
him to co produce with me. Then the record became
(45:39):
a little happier, it became a little more But at
the same time, Jane and I were getting back together,
we were moving back in together. We were you know,
I was so relieved that we didn't divorce, and so
the songs started changing to being a little more positive.
Now Pride is the lead single. Reason I name the
(46:01):
album Unbroke is because it has two meanings. The song
talks about divorce. When you have children and you divorce,
nobody's hearts get out unbroke because it breaks everyone's hearts.
You're you're extended families, your kids, your cousins, I mean everybody.
(46:24):
It breaks everybody's heart, you know, because everybody's I don't know,
you know, it's a loss of a dream and death.
You're grieving a death. Absolutely, And so the song says,
nobody's heart gets out unbroke. Now that title is means
(46:46):
something different. Now the title is we're back together and
we are unbroken. We're unbroken. We're I mean, yeah, we're unbroken,
and we're we're like humpty dumpty. I mean, we've been
put back together. And I'm so proud of this record
(47:08):
because it's deep and it's I'm a lyricist and you know,
more than more than Melody got it, and so I'm
I'm just really really proud of it.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
And but it's so real and raw. Thank you, Like
you're definitely one to just I think that's honestly why
everyone loves you, because like I can relate to your
story like millions others can relate to your story. Yes,
and that is something in your messaging and just like
you're not trying to be something, You're just being yourself
because at the end of the day, that's all you
(47:38):
can be, right, That's right, that's your unique self. I
wish I could look up to somebody when I was
younger going through a lot of stuff, but no one
was able to talk about it, right. So I'm so
grateful for you, really and thank you and your story
even if it's not, you know, a fairy tale, because
what the hell, that's not real. Let's be real, it's
(47:58):
not real, the Notebook's not.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
It's the main we can do in this life is
love each other and just allow people to be who
they are and and have their own opinions.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
And you are just sending that message every single day,
so through your music, through your voice, and you know
your podcast is amazing.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (48:30):
Is it hard to open up? Like, do you want
to talk about your podcast? You don't like it?
Speaker 2 (48:36):
I don't. I mean, I I love doing the podcast,
and I'm you know, I'm not a journalist, so I'm
I'm like, I'm learning how to you know, get people
to go deep. And I'm a good listener. But I'm
not a journalist, so I want but I'm so competitive,
so I want my podcast to do great. I'm not
going to do anything unless I think I can make
(49:00):
it great. I don't want to fail in anything.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
What does great mean to you?
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Top five?
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (49:06):
Like you like charts?
Speaker 1 (49:08):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Yes, yes, you know, ad Space, ads money, You're so real.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
I love you so much. Yes.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
If I'm not, if it's that's not going to happen,
what's the point, right, you know? And so that's just
the way I look at it. If if that's not
going to happen, then I'd rather be on the cloud
couch with Jay watching TV. But I so I do
enjoy doing the podcast. But I hate watching myself on it.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
What's the messaging that you're trying to uh, Like, what
is the through line with your podcast? What is it
that you want to share with people.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
I like interviewing other famous people and just letting the
fans here, Like, you know, I just had Martina on
and hearing her story, and man, when you get to that,
at the end of the day, we're all alike. Really,
we're all one. So they say we're so much alike,
(49:59):
we really are. We all struggle.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
Yes, it's just different, but yes, yeah, like nobody is
living life like you see on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
That's right, and don't I guess my biggest message takeaway
from this whole podcast is don't believe the Kardashians.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
That's the quote of the month. Thank you, Sarah, You're welcome.
I love you seriously. It's so good to catch up.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
I love you too, and it has been wonderful to
see you again. Good to see I follows you all
these years. I've watched all your instagrams.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
Thank you so much for coming on sex.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Thank you for having me really, and then you'll have to.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
Come on mine anytime. Make sure you guys follow us
at sex Lies and spray tands on our Instagram handle
and make sure your comment. Let me know who you
want me to interview. What do y'all think? Let me
know
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