January 1, 2024 • 35 mins
Singer, actor, and DWTS season 23 contestant got eliminated right before the finals despite getting perfect scores throughout the season!
Jana Kramer joins Cheryl to chat about her time on and off the hardwood, including why she wouldn't choose Gleb as a dance partner today, thoughts on that dance on the bed, and what her mind frame was like back then.
Plus, Jana opens up about motherhood, learning to have control of her voice, and speaking up about domestic abuse in the hopes of helping others.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is Sex, Lies and spray Tands with Me Cheryl
Burke and iHeartRadio podcast Jana Kramer. Everyone, welcome to my
friend who has a whole new life in front of her.
And the last time me and you were together was
July twenty fourth. I'm not even kidding. I just looked
at my calendar very year twenty twenty two, and we
were at Craigs and we were complaining about not complaining.
(00:24):
We were just like shooting the shit about men were
also I met your two friends and then we met
these tall guys at the bar. Yeah, and I was
so turned off. And then I dropped you girls, crazy
girls off at the Bungalows yeah or the bud what
I was called.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, the last time that was the end of my
Hot Girl Summer five.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We were talking to Alan then, No.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I didn't. He didn't reach out to me until September October.
I feel like at that point though, when we went
to there to the Craigs and just like hanging out,
I was so okay, just like, yeah, I'm man suck
but whatever, I'm happy. Yeah. I was supposed to actually
see some on that trip too.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, I remember.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yeah, he shall not be named and it was one
of those things where I'm like, I'm not going to
be sad about this, like let's just turn this into
a girl's weekend.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
But you ended your trip early.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I did end it early because I was like, well,
I'm going to go home kids, exactly. My priority is
actually like bigger, better things.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yeah. I love all the work that you do. First
of all, you're such a huge advocate for mental health.
How do you find the strength to, I guess block
out the noise because you are so active on social media.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
So doctor Amen, actually, well thank you for that. But
doctor Amen, when I had him on my podcast, he
said something about he goes you know, I don't like
the term mental health because it makes people feel shame
yep so, and it really stuck with me because I'm like,
that's so true because the first when you hear mental health,
like oh, like I should feel shame about having anxiety
or depression or feeling X, Y and Z. And I've
(01:51):
kind of tried to shift my mindset with it and
just go struggles. We all have struggles, you know, and
it's like you have a struggle of this, I have
a struggle of that, And we're going to though we've
maybe not walked the same path, we still can you
feel hurt of things that we've gone through, and so
I think with you know, with sharing, yeah, it can
(02:12):
be hard at times. It's also so nice to know
that I'm not alone and the things that I've gone through,
so to hear people say like, yeah, I've gone through
the same thing, even when it comes to either even
parenting or relationships or whatever. It's just nice to know
that a, I'm not alone and be to help other
people know that they're not alone to and how hard
(02:33):
things can be post divorce, like you know, like you
were sharing your experiences now and being very open about
what happened in your marriage, and there's a lot of
people that feel deceived and let down and hurt and
you have to go through it, but people are going
to go through it with you. And I think that's
the coolest part because like you're not alone in that
journey at all. So it's like I know the stage
(02:54):
that you're in right now because I was there as well.
And then I know the stage where you're going to
get to when you're going to be like like.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
You know, I used to be obsessed with my like
hate Reddit page, like if you want to defend yeah,
a whole page. Oh yeah, They're like, I don't even know.
It's just like a really mean sight and I don't
know how like that even exists these kind of things.
But the other just there's really really mean people. And
I used to go on there all the time and
just I mean it was like a form of I
(03:24):
was letting the gas basically into my own house, like
letting these people come into my house and say these
awful things and I'm like, no, that's not true or
that's that's not true, and I want to defend myself.
And then you go, okay, this is two thousand people
just I have a whole grand scheme of things. They
have no idea. They're just trying to like project certain things.
And it's really funny if you think about it really
look at everything else, it's kind of like you know what, yeah,
(03:47):
think whatever you want to think. It doesn't you know,
what you're doing is for the greater good, and you're
helping a lot more people than those that have the
I don't know you going exactly. They probably have ten
user names.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
So what made you so vocal? Was it the way
you were raised. Did your parents teach you how to
like express your feelings when you were a kid or no.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Honestly, I mean it's it's weird because social media didn't
really happen, I mean until after I was off One
Tree Hill, and I wasn't public about really anything truly
in my life until my ex's affairs got it. So
that's for me, was the turning point was like, this
story will be written a million times over and over.
(04:31):
We can have the control to change the narrative and
make it something positive, because I don't like the fact
that they're always going to say, well, he cheated because
I just devalues our of course, you know, relationship. So
for me, that's why I wanted to go okay. And
also internally too, I wanted to know that I'm not
alone in this struggle, and that there's other people out
there that have been in a marriage that are still
fighting through infidelity and that it worked. I wanted to
(04:53):
hear success stories, and I wanted to be that success
story for other couples. So for me, that's why. But no,
I never I mean, yeah, I was a very outgoing person,
but I don't think I ever I mean, I never
publicly shared. You know a lot of things that were
terrible that happened in my past, not until Dancing with
the Stars, and you know things happened with my ex.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Do you think that you were forced into like not
forced because you have a choice regardless shred, Like because
of Dancing with the Stars and the magnitude that it
creates as far as headlines, it's like it's a given right.
Like in a way, this was all happening and unfolding
in front of your face as you were doing the ramba.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Well, I will say it was really embarrassing. But I
remember I was in the airport with club and we
were I was traveling to a show because I was
still on tour and the only like cover to this
day minus like I think I was like in a
parenting magazine one time I was pregnant with Jolie, but
like you know, on a it was us Weekly, it
was like married to a sex addict, And it was
all because I was on Dancing with the Stars and
(05:54):
like I had more publicity and like but someone had,
you know, sold that story to us, and because I
hadn't holding one yet that he was, I did there
So that yeah, So that's where it was. The Dancing
the Stars took things to like a whole different level
of because of the exposure, Yeah, and because someone leaked
anything like well, it was a little bit of both,
of course, but we don't know once that was on there,
(06:16):
I do know, but you know what I'm saying, it
was one of those Yeah, So that's where it was
like that show was. That was the the yucky part
of it, you know, it like woke you up a
little bit. Yeah, But then also there was you know,
things that I wanted from there. I was like, you know,
I wanted to share about my domestic violence and I
wanted to share about that prior, but people in the
(06:40):
world that I was working in didn't want me to
share it just yet.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
How does one say that to you It's not the
time like yours.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, but I went through this and I'd like to
help other people, Like that's my whole mission to do it.
I'm not trying to like have a SOB story. I
just want to like help other people so I can
get involved in charities or X, Y and Z. And no,
it's not the right time, but I found out just recently.
I didn't realize you went through a like physical abuse.
I think me and you did the Red Table talk
around the same time. Yeah, your episode was super powerful.
(07:12):
What made you want to speak about it? And was
it eating away at you when you weren't speaking about it? Well,
you know, for me, it's such a big part of
who I am, and that experience has shaped me in
every relationship since then, with everything emotionally physically, I mean
(07:34):
with anxiety. It's been a piece that even in therapy,
something will come up and I'm like, God, I've worked
on this so many times, Like why is this still
coming up?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
You know?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
And I get like I beat up my myself and
she's like, well, your body remembers. She's like you might
have yeah, your body, he was scorch like you might
have forgotten it, but your body remembers this. And I'm like, oh,
I was like, oh God. I'm like I don't want
to have to go through this again, or like work
through this again. And it doesn't take as long now,
but you know, I still have the heart. That's the
(08:05):
hardest piece. I can talk day night about my divorces
or like you know, all cheating whatever, but the domestic
abuse again, because it just holds that piece of shame.
And I remember there's a chapter in my book where
I'm writing about the moment that I was hiding in
the bushes and the night you tried to kill me,
And I struggled doing the audio version of that piece
(08:25):
because I'm like, I started to to criticize the girl
that was in the bushes, like why were you in
your why were you in the bushes?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Like girl, get out? You know.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
And it's like, because that's what you that's your brain going,
you know, why were you so weak? Why were you
so you know, why did you let that person do
that to you? Like why weren't you strong enough to
get out? And it's and so I think that's why
it's hard to talk about because now I'm like, I
would never let a man put his hands on me
or even get close to intimidating thought of, you know,
(08:58):
flinching towards me in that way. But I also know
it's so important to talk about it because there are
so many stories when you know, I get people that
dm me it's like, oh my, you know, he laid
his hands on me, and I'm like, girl go like
it's like, I know, it's just so hard because I'm like,
(09:18):
I don't want you in the dumpster next to another
beautiful girl that stays and this happens to somebody else,
and yet I.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Still know why they're not going I know, yeah, yeah,
and that's and I'm like, and I get it before
than that. The day he choked me up against the mirror,
I was. I slept with him that night, you know,
so it's just like, no, I know, I know, it's
it's just it takes years to get rid of that pattern.
And after him, I dated more abusive men, you know,
because that's what you think you deserve. And something that
(09:46):
was so interesting, you know, I was. Now that I'm
engaged to my fance Alan, people always ask me like, well,
why do you why do you love him so much?
And I say, you know, he just respects me so much.
And I had this revelation where I was like, because
I kept saying respect, respect, respect, and I was like, wow,
I think it's because for the first time I realized
that I now deserve respect off but you know what
(10:11):
that is exactly it. I just got chills, like that
is right, that is.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Right, because now I'm like, I know, I just I
just didn't think I deserved.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
That then and like if this man would have come
to your come into your life like years ago, oh,
we would have been.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Discussed and I would have been probably the very unhealthy
version that I was in prior relationships.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
So yeah, it's crazy because there are nice men out there.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, oh for sure, and I've ruined many of them
from my own toxic behaviors. I think you meet people
and you have to be the best versions like healthy
and healthy.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
And also you attract what you are putting out there,
and you know there was there is and this is
why I am still single. I truly believe it because
like until I because I'm going to fall back to
why are you laughing?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Because I just I love you and I just want
you to like I feel like.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
You think I'm still single?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Well, you're beautiful, I always say, like you know, like
I'm like, how I just don't think you're like I'm
not ready, I'm.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Not because like I truly believe too, and I and
that's okay. Oh yeah, I owe it to myself because
you know doctor Romney, did you ever do her show? No? No,
So she's like a specially specialized in narcissist. Yes, she
came on wind Down oh okay, Yeah, she's fascinating. And
she said, for every narcissist do you date or are
in a long term relationship with, it's like every time
(11:31):
you break up with one, you gotta you owe yourself
a year or two.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Well that, but I also think like when you let
go of like you might have changed the paint. When
you let go of the like the anger and the
hate towards the person too, that's when you can really
fully walk away to like forget for me. Yeah, like
when you let go of that like hate.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
But also let go of the pattern, like there was
something there there, there's a reason why it was. That's
what I and a lot of people are like just
because like it didn't work out as I mean, he's
an arcists. I know that, Like that does. I'm not
labeling people, but like there are characteristics of narcissists because
that's that like home and it still does, like I
have to be super conscious to change the pattern, and
(12:14):
that's really hard to stay present at all times when
all I want to do is run away. But I did.
I have gone on a few dates, yay, nothing to
brag about.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
But have you is there anything that like you've learned
because I think dating is such a great like that's
what I and I beat. My girlfriend's like, oh, you'll
be in a relationship in however many months, and I
was like, no, I'm gonna it's going to be until
the end of the year because I really just I've
never really just dated. I always was in relationship a relationship,
and dating was just really fun because I learned so
(12:44):
much about myself through that too, and what I liked
and what I did.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
And now you have what you want ultimately, like the
ultimate yeah, the dating scene when you were dating, did
any past trauma ever like get brought up in your life?
Like did you notice, because it seems like you're very aware,
(13:09):
which is.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I think it comes up all the time. I mean
all the time, but like you can come up whether
you're married, relationship. I think past trauma's past trauma, like
like you said, like your body and you're at all
of it remembers, you know, there's things that come up
that I have to check myself and go, oh, I'm
about to be really reactive right now because this is
because I'm feeling defensive because of things that might have
(13:31):
happened a couple of years ago. But he's not that person,
so I need to not have that reaction. So I
think it's a constant like checking, and then I don't
do it perfectly every time. So, you know, a couple
of months ago, I was like, hey, I'm sorry. I
totally reacted based on like my own stuff that was
not yours at all. Look at you, so I'm so
proud of you, not perfect, not perfecting.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I think that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I think trauma doesn't just be like oh cool you
you healed it and now it's it's, you know, riding
away in the sunset.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
There's no magic pill or ayahuasca that will take that
trauma a way.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I'm I'm sorry, and I haven't. I almost a diahuasca
after my divorce, but I didn't want to have to
go through the experience that I heard you go through
the purging that scared me.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Last time I threw up was my twenty first birthday
for obvious reasons. But that was about it, Like that
is just not fun. Yeah, And there is also is
no magic pill. There's no quick fixes to healing, Like
you have to do the work, and I do want
I think it's going to come up.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
That's a thing like what I said in therapy where
it was like I thought I worked through this, this
was twenty years ago, and she's just like, that's always
going to be something that you know, you'll have to
sometimes find tune oor tweak as you go, Yeah, because
it'll just remind you of something or this a smell
or a sound or a reaction or anything.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And then you got pregnant, I know, and I'm with child. Wait,
so if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Oh, I'm going to be forty on my du date,
but because of like some minor complications, we're going to
deliver before my due date a couple by a couple
of weeks.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
So yeah, it hasn't been easy. I mean it's.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Been you know, I don't if I'm being like Frank,
I don't love being pregnant. First trimester is always like
it's you know, it's just just I'm so sick. I'm
still nauseous, Yeah, not throwing up as much as I
used to, but yeah, it's I love the feeling of
growing our baby, and I love feeling his kicks, and
(15:22):
I just I love what the female body can do
and how amazing it is.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
But I'm also over it, so I got it. I
don't get it, but I can only imagine.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, but it's I envy the women that have the
beautiful pregnancies that you know, just have no sickness whatsoever.
If I think if I wasn't sick, I would I
would love it. But just to feel nauseous every day
is not a fun feeling. I'm sure, were you planning
on this or like, did you do IVF?
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Nothing?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
No, so well with my other with my last marriage,
we did IVF. We had multiple miscarriages. It was it
was hard to conceive with him, and which is interesting,
you know. I think again, stress, what stress can do
to your body can affect and I'm not saying that's fact,
but that's just things that I've heard that can cause miscarriages.
(16:10):
So when I was dating people, they would say like,
would you want another kid? And I always said no.
My friends really, oh.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I know, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
I was like I'm done, like I'm going to be
forty one year, like or next year, like I'm good. Yeah,
And then when he asked me, I just kind of
looked at him, like, you know, for the first time maybe,
And all my girlfriends would say, like we knew you
were going to have another one, and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Really, like really, I know.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
It was shocked me too, but with him, yeah, I
just I was like I would love to create something
with him and have something be ours and yeah, but
I told him. I was like, it's probably not going
to work. It's you know, I've had multiple miscarriages. Probably
when the first month stop, I was like, let's just
try for this year and if it, like before before
I turned forty, let's just try just to see and
if it doesn't, then we tried and I can just go, okay, whatever,
(17:00):
we gave it.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
We gave it a shot.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
But the very first month we tried, and it wasn't
even like when were trying, like your legs weren up
in the air. But I was like, oh, I think
I'm like the ovulations. It was just funny because I
wanted to see like when I was ovulating, because I'm like,
all right, well let's be we're going to try it.
So I was like seeing and I wouldn't say I
was ovulating, so I was like, I didn't pay I'm
not even ovulating, so it's not gonna work.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
So you were like thought that you were just seeing.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
The stick said I wasn't ovulating, So I was just like,
I guess I don't ovulate anymore. And then yeah, don't
believe just that first month. Yeah for you, but for
you both, here you go.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
How much do you want to bet he's got some
football friends that are single and maybe you should help
a sister up. Huh. I think you should go for
the coaches. Sure. Whatever.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
At this point, I'm like, I'm born again. Okay, I
will listen. There's some like I've got some friends on
a dating app that have some dating app. Yeah, but
it's like the good one. But you're still judging a
book by its cover. Well, that's like, I mean, no,
we don't do that anymore. I mean you see if
someone on Instagram sliding into someone's DMS whatever I.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Was the cover. Really that's like you fell in love
with his words, I.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Mean, his language, his accents, his accents beautiful.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
You guys did that TikTok video was his hysterical hysterical.
How are your kids handling it? And I'm sure they're
so excited.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah, it's uh, the kids are obsessed with Alan. They
love him. He's Alan's an incredible bonus almost ad to them.
He's just so good with them. And I mean he
taught Julie how to ride her bike. He's just he
how he is with both of them, just individually. He
(18:42):
just really cares and it's it's just beautiful to see.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I mean seeing my son, you know, love up on
him and cuddle with them and just have that bond
with him is beautiful. And same with my daughter. Does
he have kids, He does, he has an older son. Okay, yeah,
I already have like a big of a family, yeah,
full on family. Yeah, it's it's it's great. And the
kids are really excited about the baby as well. Like
(19:06):
Jayce the other night, he has like this old lovey
that he calls it, and he was like, you know,
I want to I want to put bring to the
baby's room.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So it was cute. Let's rewind again because there's so
many chapters of your life. I only have one. But
this is something that we have in common. Dancing with
the Stars, yay, I was such a like.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
It was so excited to meet you. Yeah, you were
like the main star of like Dancing with the Stars.
Oh that haircut, it was that hair I mean it
was pretty great.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
I think such it was a great movement. Yeah, on
a date, I.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Would say you and Derek were the two people that
I would have ever been like, oh, that's many stars.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
And when I saw you for the first time, I
was like, look at this hot little girl grinding up
on her dance partner, convincing the whole world that you
guys were like made to rumba underweight? Was it a
rumba in the shower? It was hard to show dance,
of course, you remember, do you remember the dance? I
(20:05):
remember the shower dance. I don't dance. It was salsa,
I don't know, but yeah, how was your experience on
Dancing with the Stars? The good, bad, and ugly?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I wish I could go back because it was such
a well, it's a it's a twofold liking for me
where I was grateful for the timing of it because
my ex had gone to rehab, so that was was
a plan like that, like so that you know, I
had been asked a couple of years previously to dancing
the Stars, and I just the timing didn't work out.
So when I got called, I was like, you know what, yes,
(20:35):
because he just did what he did and I need
to just like focus on myself and do something for
me and have fun and feel sexy.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
And uh did you watch the show before? Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah yeah, like I said, I like, I loved it.
I have a picture of me and len and and
uh who else was uh Bruno Bruno? Yeah, with me
and my mom like the second season, like I went
as like a fan in the audience.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Oh that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Also on the other side, I wish I could go
back now in a totally healthier mind frame and do
it again. And uh so.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
You would do it again? Oh, in a heartbeat. And
if you couldn't dance with the club, who would you
want to dance with?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
I wouldn't want to dance with the club again, just
because if I could have hand picked my person to
dance with it, probably.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Can I thought. Is that not how it works for
you celebrities? No, I mean they don't ask you like
who would you dance with or who would you want to.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Well, of course I asked for val right, but he
was already partnered with because he again he was one
of the like he was with Lori Hernandez okay, and
they ended up winning that season.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Right, So uh, but I'm I'm with Ryan Lochte, you
were locked and almost got killed on the dance floor.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, I'm blanking his name now, and this is he's
married to the beautiful wrestler Hella.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Would you guys would look great to get I really
like wanted that pairing now, Pasha, maybe too, Yeah I
think I like your stuff. Yeah. Yeah, he's also like
so sweet and yeah, not like Glob's not, but like
he's a different type of sweet.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Well. I think Glob's uh training was just wasn't for
me at the time totally, and so artam differentis.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
When I had worked with Artem very brief, it was
just Glove got hurt and so I had I had
done a just like a practice of the Artem and
I was like, wow, this is I enjoy this so
much more interesting just the way that he was able
to lead, communicate and lead and really just explain it
(22:36):
to me, because a lot of times I would be
very confused, and you be patient, very patient. I needed
that because I think I was very sensitive of course
at that time.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
But in general, I think you're sensitive, right because you're vulnerable.
You've never done this before. Yeah, let's not forget I
don't know how to dan.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
I hope you don't because I'm hearing I heard an
interview that Gleb did. He said that he hasn't had
any good partners. And I'm like, well, because we're not
all we we're not good dancer. I'm not a dancer,
you know. He's like, he says he hasn't had a
good he's never had a good yeah dancer. And I'm like, well, well,
because we don't. I'm not I don't dance. So but
(23:13):
it's fine. I think he's he's great, and you know,
he's he's lovely and all. But if I could have
handpicked it of an artem for sure.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Right. So during your time though with Gleb when this
was all happening, was he like, uh, obviously you're forced to.
I guess either you like each other or you hate
each other. It's pretty black or white because it's seven
days a week. Sure, did you know the workload going
into Dancing Stars was going to be this intense? They
don't tell you. You didn't.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
He said it was like four days and it was
going to be And again, my daughter was very young
at the time, So you would have said yes, I
know I would have said it. Yes if it was
if it was seven all day, twenty four hours, but
I just I didn't realize the amount of time. And
and then on top of it, they don't really tell
you the inner use how long those take too, so
(24:01):
it's it's more of a commitment than I think they
lead on. Having said that I again, I would do
it all over again.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
And I understand why they do that, because if they
were to really say out wish like it would be hard.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
To best probably like want more and right right.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
With all this drama, because I'll never forget. So when
I was watching your camera blocking was the first time
that I don't know if it was the premiere, I'm
assuming it was the premiere and the camera blocking leading
into the premiere, but like Dina Katz, I was sitting
next to Dina, who's like my Dancing with the Star's mom.
She's so sweet, and she was saying how much she
loved you, and I think this was also that US
(24:37):
Weekly thing had come out, and I was like, I
was taken aback at just your professionalism and also was
a little like concerned that you weren't feeling right because
I just I look when you when you do when
you work a lot. You tend to like me in
(24:59):
general for or me id numb through work, Like it's
just more socially acceptable than what I used to do,
which was drink myself to death. But like I wanted
And then at the same time, I was like, wabe,
but this is like there was so many different mixed feelings,
right because we take you under like anyone who joins
the cast of Dancing with the Stars. You are our
family forever.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
It was the best summer camp for adults for adults
for two yes so or so months, and then the
problem afterwards was like, oh, I still have so much work.
I have to Now I have to see if I
am I staying in my marriage and my parents are
we getting back together?
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Is that depressing? Oh?
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Was the worst after Dancing with the Stars. It was
the absolute worst because now I had to face reality
of what we were going to do because I had
separated from him, right, so then I had to go, Okay,
now I've had this time. Now now what and what
do I take you back? Well, he obviously wanted you
know that it would never happen again and the family would.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
And did he like watch you on the show? Was
it weird?
Speaker 2 (25:55):
So he came the last I came to the to
the finale of the when I was still on the show,
and yeah, that was it was weird. It was just
sad because I wish he was there supporting in a
way that I would have wanted him to be there
as a husband supporting me the entire time of course,
So that's where it's. That was really sad. Yeah, and
(26:16):
like a reality that, oh god, I have to now face.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
This was dancing in general, moving your body like that.
Was it therapeutic? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It was fantastic. I loved it. It was challenging because
you get so mental of I'm not good at this
and I have, you know, the whole I'm not good
enough and blah blah blah, and it really mentally messes
with you. Like during week three to five, you're just like, I.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Suck and this is the worst ever. And because I
have scores or because it was just like you hit
that like all of.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
It, You're just like, I'm not a dancer and this
is really hard, and now I'm getting criticized and critiqued
and X, Y and Z, and so I think that's
that's hard to do because then your brain just goes well,
you suck and that's just I guess what mine does.
And again that's why I'd want to go back and
be like.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Just have fun. You want to hold the Mirrorball trophy,
like let's just be real, Like it's so cheap like
mine was. The second season and third season of the
Mirrorball trophies were made of lamp shades. Cute. Yeah, it
was like a joke, but not a joke. But that's
why mind is completely like in the trash because it's
the mirrors have fallen off one by one. But nowadays
(27:20):
it's like very blingy. But uh, it is interesting because
dance in itself, like within this show, I think even
in the ballroom dance competitive world, they're so like if
your partner is not gay, you are with your partner,
like because of the intimacy that dancing just in general balllessness,
like you're dry humping each other. Let's just like it
(27:41):
is what it is. Yeah, right. It must have been
really uncomfortable to not only be the headlines for you know,
what's going on with your personal life and your marriage,
but also then with the married man glub. Yeah, it's
I mean it was.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
It's not easy, especially as he kept saying, being like
be more sexy, and I'm like, I don't know how
to be like this is this is awkward. I don't
know how to do this.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
You know.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
So I remember, you know, thinking back, I watched him like,
oh god, it's just I don't know how to do
that the hit thrusty thing. I've never danced like that before.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I don't even. I don't even.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
It's just it's not it not natural. It doesn't come naturally.
You've never danced like this before. So it's just But
then there's the part of me too. It's like I'm
an actress and now I need to act like I
am sexually and you know, so sexual and sexy and yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
So did you guys do something with a bed? Did he? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Yeah, it was like a bed shower scene and it
was my dad was in the audience that show, so
that was uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
How did he react? He was very supportive. Listen, it
goes down in history like that. It was. It was
a good one. It was. It was definitely memorable and
I was good. I saw your first dance at Beanese Waltz.
And did you get slacked by from Len like about
not having enough content or whatever, but I thought it
was solid. Thanks, Like actually, like, no matter what I do,
(29:08):
believe sexy comes from within. Like honestly, I don't act
when I'm dancing like I'm either dancing a drive piss
because I just am pissed in general, or like.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Well the drive socks. I hate doing the drift.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Who likes to bounce up and down and a cheerleader
like I don't like I'm not like my least like
two little kids, Like literally, I can't. I can't do
contemporary the wrong show.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
I love contemporary that I've never danced, like, so you
think you can dance, and so I was like that
was always like because and.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Then you're dancing with us ballroom train dancers, most of us,
Gleb especially, and then you put us barefoot, and we
are the student. We're like teaching this. We're the student
teaching the student.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Well that makes sense. I guess Gleb fell on our
season finale dance. He was barefoot, so that makes sense
now he does. But he also was like revering from
the flow, so he needs a.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Cuban real I've never I I will dance contemporary heels
and I will be called out for it and it
is what it is. But like, I don't think I
could do that at all. But I also didn't sign
up for that type of show you in your dreams
and be like Cheryl, Yeah, dare you put your belly
slippers on and call it a day dancing with the Stars.
(30:23):
Did it ever occur to you how popular the show
was and the exposure that you were going to get, Like,
I'm sure you had heard stories and like, yes, whatever.
It's been a part of hot topics for many, many years.
A lot of people like Mario Lopez for example, he
definitely used this platform. Like I mean, this was back
in season three. It was very popular. It's not you
(30:45):
can't compare it now because TV is not the same.
But with Mario, like he really transformed his whole career.
Would you say that dancing did that for you? No,
I think you feel like you already were, like you
were established.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I think I mean at the time, yeah, I'm in
country radio, I was music was great, I was acting
like I I think say, I'm trying to think how
it I don't know if it did the skyrocket that
might have done for other people that haven't been Like
because you had the podcast already, right, No, I had
(31:20):
started podcasting. But I think, you know, there's definitely a
fan base from that show that people go, oh, yeah,
I remember you from that show. Yeah, But I don't
think it was like how maybe it was in the beginning,
or if it was someone that maybe wasn't in the
maybe it's different for I don't know sports people or
(31:42):
I'm not really sure. But I'm grateful for anyone that
it's listening that saw me on that show, discovered me
on the show.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
And would you allow Alan to do it? If you
got asked? Can I hand pick the partner who I'm retired? Sorry,
want me anyway? I'm so no, No, I would trust you.
I trust like I mean, I trust my fiance. I'm
not saying like that, but like again, it's like hard,
(32:08):
I mean it's it's hard, man.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
I would you know what? Because I trust him so much,
I would be like I would at least want it
to be with like a Whitney. And this is what
I've learned from my ex. It doesn't matter who you
put in front of someone else. The person is going
to do what they're going to do, regardless if they're beautiful, sexy,
not for like the person anyone that's going to be
and faithful is going to be and faithful whether you
(32:32):
put them in the lines done or not. So like
I trust my fancy if he would want to go
to Dancing with the Stars, go to Dancing with the Stars,
and I will be front row and like.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Good for you.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Like if it was my ex, I'd be like no
because I didn't trust him, right, but he would have
done it regardless exactly. Again, I think people people will
always find a way to cheat.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
You don't have to. And also it's okay to still
have feelings of maybe fear and then also that you
know what I mean, like letting him do it, but
then still be vocal about like wait a second, like
you're okay, right, We're good.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
But it's hard. It would it wouldn't be like super
easy for sure?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Do you believe? In the Dancing with the Stars curse
was that it's basically like for more for the bachelor
bachelorettes of the show that like tran like goes from
that show from being newly engaged to doing Dancing the Stars.
Some most of the time they don't get out alive,
meaning like the divorce or the separation between the yes,
the contestants or the person who found love doesn't last
(33:27):
because I believe it's nothing to do with dancing stars.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
I mean no, I mean my writing was on the
wall like before I did the show, you know, not
with you, but in general, oh, in general, yeah, oh no.
I think again, if people are going to be respectful,
they're going to be respecting exactly. And that's just like
I guess I can go back to my fancy. He's
the most respectful, good, good dude. Like people make their
own choices and stuff like that. Yeah, I don't think
(33:53):
the curse is anything. It's not a curse.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Ye. No, You're gonna do what you're gonna do. So
you guys are getting married eventually, there's no date, not
really and kind of okay okay slash kind of and
is it going to be in the States or we're
not in the states? Okay, yeah, Jana, I would like
to play a game. Are you games? I know you do?
Who falls in love first? The pro dancer, the actual
(34:17):
dancer or the celebrity.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I would say celebrity smart.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Who cried first? You are glob? Oh me who passed
gas first?
Speaker 2 (34:28):
You are glob glob okay cool who got suddy first?
Speaker 1 (34:31):
You were glad club who forgot their routine? The most
globe me really, probably good old Globe or he.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Just blamed me for forgetting it because he forgot it.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
I don't know that's healthy. Name a country song that
summarizes your time with Gleb on The show Man. Sorry,
this is so glob talk is just because this is
sex Lies and spray Tands, so we have to talk
about dancing a song. Should have just called him whiskey
all right. Thanks to my guest Jana Kramer for coming
(35:04):
on being so vulnerable and it's so good to catch
up because life has changed so much for you. Everyone,
Please follow for the better everyone, please follow add sex
Lies and spray Tans to comment and let me know
your thoughts and where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Jan You guys can find me at Kramer Girl. Thanks
for having me on.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
I love you. Make sure you guys follow us at
sex Lies and spraytnds on our Instagram handle and make
sure you comment. Let me know who you want me
to interview. What do you all think? Let me know
This is Sex, Lies and spray Tands with Me Cheryl
Burke and iHeartRadio podcast Jana Kramer. Everyone, welcome to my
friend who has a whole new life in front of her.
And the last time me and you were together was
July twenty fourth. I'm not even kidding. I just looked
at my calendar very year twenty twenty two, and we
were at Craigs and we were complaining about not complaining.
(00:24):
We were just like shooting the shit about men were
also I met your two friends and then we met
these tall guys at the bar. Yeah, and I was
so turned off. And then I dropped you girls, crazy
girls off at the Bungalows yeah or the bud what
I was called.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, the last time that was the end of my
Hot Girl Summer five.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We were talking to Alan then, No.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I didn't. He didn't reach out to me until September October.
I feel like at that point though, when we went
to there to the Craigs and just like hanging out,
I was so okay, just like, yeah, I'm man suck
but whatever, I'm happy. Yeah. I was supposed to actually
see some on that trip too.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, I remember.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yeah, he shall not be named and it was one
of those things where I'm like, I'm not going to
be sad about this, like let's just turn this into
a girl's weekend.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
But you ended your trip early.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I did end it early because I was like, well,
I'm going to go home kids, exactly. My priority is
actually like bigger, better things.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yeah. I love all the work that you do. First
of all, you're such a huge advocate for mental health.
How do you find the strength to, I guess block
out the noise because you are so active on social media.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
So doctor Amen, actually, well thank you for that. But
doctor Amen, when I had him on my podcast, he
said something about he goes you know, I don't like
the term mental health because it makes people feel shame
yep so, and it really stuck with me because I'm like,
that's so true because the first when you hear mental health,
like oh, like I should feel shame about having anxiety
or depression or feeling X, Y and Z. And I've
(01:51):
kind of tried to shift my mindset with it and
just go struggles. We all have struggles, you know, and
it's like you have a struggle of this, I have
a struggle of that, And we're going to though we've
maybe not walked the same path, we still can you
feel hurt of things that we've gone through, and so
I think with you know, with sharing, yeah, it can
(02:12):
be hard at times. It's also so nice to know
that I'm not alone and the things that I've gone through,
so to hear people say like, yeah, I've gone through
the same thing, even when it comes to either even
parenting or relationships or whatever. It's just nice to know
that a, I'm not alone and be to help other
people know that they're not alone to and how hard
(02:33):
things can be post divorce, like you know, like you
were sharing your experiences now and being very open about
what happened in your marriage, and there's a lot of
people that feel deceived and let down and hurt and
you have to go through it, but people are going
to go through it with you. And I think that's
the coolest part because like you're not alone in that
journey at all. So it's like I know the stage
(02:54):
that you're in right now because I was there as well.
And then I know the stage where you're going to
get to when you're going to be like like.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
You know, I used to be obsessed with my like
hate Reddit page, like if you want to defend yeah,
a whole page. Oh yeah, They're like, I don't even know.
It's just like a really mean sight and I don't
know how like that even exists these kind of things.
But the other just there's really really mean people. And
I used to go on there all the time and
just I mean it was like a form of I
(03:24):
was letting the gas basically into my own house, like
letting these people come into my house and say these
awful things and I'm like, no, that's not true or
that's that's not true, and I want to defend myself.
And then you go, okay, this is two thousand people
just I have a whole grand scheme of things. They
have no idea. They're just trying to like project certain things.
And it's really funny if you think about it really
look at everything else, it's kind of like you know what, yeah,
(03:47):
think whatever you want to think. It doesn't you know,
what you're doing is for the greater good, and you're
helping a lot more people than those that have the
I don't know you going exactly. They probably have ten
user names.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
So what made you so vocal? Was it the way
you were raised. Did your parents teach you how to
like express your feelings when you were a kid or no.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Honestly, I mean it's it's weird because social media didn't
really happen, I mean until after I was off One
Tree Hill, and I wasn't public about really anything truly
in my life until my ex's affairs got it. So
that's for me, was the turning point was like, this
story will be written a million times over and over.
(04:31):
We can have the control to change the narrative and
make it something positive, because I don't like the fact
that they're always going to say, well, he cheated because
I just devalues our of course, you know, relationship. So
for me, that's why I wanted to go okay. And
also internally too, I wanted to know that I'm not
alone in this struggle, and that there's other people out
there that have been in a marriage that are still
fighting through infidelity and that it worked. I wanted to
(04:53):
hear success stories, and I wanted to be that success
story for other couples. So for me, that's why. But no,
I never I mean, yeah, I was a very outgoing person,
but I don't think I ever I mean, I never
publicly shared. You know a lot of things that were
terrible that happened in my past, not until Dancing with
the Stars, and you know things happened with my ex.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Do you think that you were forced into like not
forced because you have a choice regardless shred, Like because
of Dancing with the Stars and the magnitude that it
creates as far as headlines, it's like it's a given right.
Like in a way, this was all happening and unfolding
in front of your face as you were doing the ramba.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Well, I will say it was really embarrassing. But I
remember I was in the airport with club and we
were I was traveling to a show because I was
still on tour and the only like cover to this
day minus like I think I was like in a
parenting magazine one time I was pregnant with Jolie, but
like you know, on a it was us Weekly, it
was like married to a sex addict, And it was
all because I was on Dancing with the Stars and
(05:54):
like I had more publicity and like but someone had,
you know, sold that story to us, and because I
hadn't holding one yet that he was, I did there
So that yeah, So that's where it was. The Dancing
the Stars took things to like a whole different level
of because of the exposure, Yeah, and because someone leaked
anything like well, it was a little bit of both,
of course, but we don't know once that was on there,
(06:16):
I do know, but you know what I'm saying, it
was one of those Yeah, So that's where it was
like that show was. That was the the yucky part
of it, you know, it like woke you up a
little bit. Yeah, But then also there was you know,
things that I wanted from there. I was like, you know,
I wanted to share about my domestic violence and I
wanted to share about that prior, but people in the
(06:40):
world that I was working in didn't want me to
share it just yet.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
How does one say that to you It's not the
time like yours.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, but I went through this and I'd like to
help other people, Like that's my whole mission to do it.
I'm not trying to like have a SOB story. I
just want to like help other people so I can
get involved in charities or X, Y and Z. And no,
it's not the right time, but I found out just recently.
I didn't realize you went through a like physical abuse.
I think me and you did the Red Table talk
around the same time. Yeah, your episode was super powerful.
(07:12):
What made you want to speak about it? And was
it eating away at you when you weren't speaking about it? Well,
you know, for me, it's such a big part of
who I am, and that experience has shaped me in
every relationship since then, with everything emotionally physically, I mean
(07:34):
with anxiety. It's been a piece that even in therapy,
something will come up and I'm like, God, I've worked
on this so many times, Like why is this still
coming up?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
You know?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
And I get like I beat up my myself and
she's like, well, your body remembers. She's like you might
have yeah, your body, he was scorch like you might
have forgotten it, but your body remembers this. And I'm like, oh,
I was like, oh God. I'm like I don't want
to have to go through this again, or like work
through this again. And it doesn't take as long now,
but you know, I still have the heart. That's the
(08:05):
hardest piece. I can talk day night about my divorces
or like you know, all cheating whatever, but the domestic
abuse again, because it just holds that piece of shame.
And I remember there's a chapter in my book where
I'm writing about the moment that I was hiding in
the bushes and the night you tried to kill me,
And I struggled doing the audio version of that piece
(08:25):
because I'm like, I started to to criticize the girl
that was in the bushes, like why were you in
your why were you in the bushes?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Like girl, get out? You know.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
And it's like, because that's what you that's your brain going,
you know, why were you so weak? Why were you
so you know, why did you let that person do
that to you? Like why weren't you strong enough to
get out? And it's and so I think that's why
it's hard to talk about because now I'm like, I
would never let a man put his hands on me
or even get close to intimidating thought of, you know,
(08:58):
flinching towards me in that way. But I also know
it's so important to talk about it because there are
so many stories when you know, I get people that
dm me it's like, oh my, you know, he laid
his hands on me, and I'm like, girl go like
it's like, I know, it's just so hard because I'm like,
(09:18):
I don't want you in the dumpster next to another
beautiful girl that stays and this happens to somebody else,
and yet I.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Still know why they're not going I know, yeah, yeah,
and that's and I'm like, and I get it before
than that. The day he choked me up against the mirror,
I was. I slept with him that night, you know,
so it's just like, no, I know, I know, it's
it's just it takes years to get rid of that pattern.
And after him, I dated more abusive men, you know,
because that's what you think you deserve. And something that
(09:46):
was so interesting, you know, I was. Now that I'm
engaged to my fance Alan, people always ask me like, well,
why do you why do you love him so much?
And I say, you know, he just respects me so much.
And I had this revelation where I was like, because
I kept saying respect, respect, respect, and I was like, wow,
I think it's because for the first time I realized
that I now deserve respect off but you know what
(10:11):
that is exactly it. I just got chills, like that
is right, that is.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Right, because now I'm like, I know, I just I
just didn't think I deserved.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
That then and like if this man would have come
to your come into your life like years ago, oh,
we would have been.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Discussed and I would have been probably the very unhealthy
version that I was in prior relationships.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
So yeah, it's crazy because there are nice men out there.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, oh for sure, and I've ruined many of them
from my own toxic behaviors. I think you meet people
and you have to be the best versions like healthy
and healthy.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
And also you attract what you are putting out there,
and you know there was there is and this is
why I am still single. I truly believe it because
like until I because I'm going to fall back to
why are you laughing?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Because I just I love you and I just want
you to like I feel like.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
You think I'm still single?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Well, you're beautiful, I always say, like you know, like
I'm like, how I just don't think you're like I'm
not ready, I'm.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Not because like I truly believe too, and I and
that's okay. Oh yeah, I owe it to myself because
you know doctor Romney, did you ever do her show? No? No,
So she's like a specially specialized in narcissist. Yes, she
came on wind Down oh okay, Yeah, she's fascinating. And
she said, for every narcissist do you date or are
in a long term relationship with, it's like every time
(11:31):
you break up with one, you gotta you owe yourself
a year or two.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Well that, but I also think like when you let
go of like you might have changed the paint. When
you let go of the like the anger and the
hate towards the person too, that's when you can really
fully walk away to like forget for me. Yeah, like
when you let go of that like hate.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
But also let go of the pattern, like there was
something there there, there's a reason why it was. That's
what I and a lot of people are like just
because like it didn't work out as I mean, he's
an arcists. I know that, Like that does. I'm not
labeling people, but like there are characteristics of narcissists because
that's that like home and it still does, like I
have to be super conscious to change the pattern, and
(12:14):
that's really hard to stay present at all times when
all I want to do is run away. But I did.
I have gone on a few dates, yay, nothing to
brag about.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
But have you is there anything that like you've learned
because I think dating is such a great like that's
what I and I beat. My girlfriend's like, oh, you'll
be in a relationship in however many months, and I
was like, no, I'm gonna it's going to be until
the end of the year because I really just I've
never really just dated. I always was in relationship a relationship,
and dating was just really fun because I learned so
(12:44):
much about myself through that too, and what I liked
and what I did.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
And now you have what you want ultimately, like the
ultimate yeah, the dating scene when you were dating, did
any past trauma ever like get brought up in your life?
Like did you notice, because it seems like you're very aware,
(13:09):
which is.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I think it comes up all the time. I mean
all the time, but like you can come up whether
you're married, relationship. I think past trauma's past trauma, like
like you said, like your body and you're at all
of it remembers, you know, there's things that come up
that I have to check myself and go, oh, I'm
about to be really reactive right now because this is
because I'm feeling defensive because of things that might have
(13:31):
happened a couple of years ago. But he's not that person,
so I need to not have that reaction. So I
think it's a constant like checking, and then I don't
do it perfectly every time. So, you know, a couple
of months ago, I was like, hey, I'm sorry. I
totally reacted based on like my own stuff that was
not yours at all. Look at you, so I'm so
proud of you, not perfect, not perfecting.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I think that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I think trauma doesn't just be like oh cool you
you healed it and now it's it's, you know, riding
away in the sunset.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
There's no magic pill or ayahuasca that will take that
trauma a way.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I'm I'm sorry, and I haven't. I almost a diahuasca
after my divorce, but I didn't want to have to
go through the experience that I heard you go through
the purging that scared me.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Last time I threw up was my twenty first birthday
for obvious reasons. But that was about it, Like that
is just not fun. Yeah, And there is also is
no magic pill. There's no quick fixes to healing, Like
you have to do the work, and I do want
I think it's going to come up.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
That's a thing like what I said in therapy where
it was like I thought I worked through this, this
was twenty years ago, and she's just like, that's always
going to be something that you know, you'll have to
sometimes find tune oor tweak as you go, Yeah, because
it'll just remind you of something or this a smell
or a sound or a reaction or anything.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And then you got pregnant, I know, and I'm with child. Wait,
so if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Oh, I'm going to be forty on my du date,
but because of like some minor complications, we're going to
deliver before my due date a couple by a couple
of weeks.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
So yeah, it hasn't been easy. I mean it's.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Been you know, I don't if I'm being like Frank,
I don't love being pregnant. First trimester is always like
it's you know, it's just just I'm so sick. I'm
still nauseous, Yeah, not throwing up as much as I
used to, but yeah, it's I love the feeling of
growing our baby, and I love feeling his kicks, and
(15:22):
I just I love what the female body can do
and how amazing it is.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
But I'm also over it, so I got it. I
don't get it, but I can only imagine.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, but it's I envy the women that have the
beautiful pregnancies that you know, just have no sickness whatsoever.
If I think if I wasn't sick, I would I
would love it. But just to feel nauseous every day
is not a fun feeling. I'm sure, were you planning
on this or like, did you do IVF?
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Nothing?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
No, so well with my other with my last marriage,
we did IVF. We had multiple miscarriages. It was it
was hard to conceive with him, and which is interesting,
you know. I think again, stress, what stress can do
to your body can affect and I'm not saying that's fact,
but that's just things that I've heard that can cause miscarriages.
(16:10):
So when I was dating people, they would say like,
would you want another kid? And I always said no.
My friends really, oh.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I know, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
I was like I'm done, like I'm going to be
forty one year, like or next year, like I'm good. Yeah,
And then when he asked me, I just kind of
looked at him, like, you know, for the first time maybe,
And all my girlfriends would say, like we knew you
were going to have another one, and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Really, like really, I know.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
It was shocked me too, but with him, yeah, I
just I was like I would love to create something
with him and have something be ours and yeah, but
I told him. I was like, it's probably not going
to work. It's you know, I've had multiple miscarriages. Probably
when the first month stop, I was like, let's just
try for this year and if it, like before before
I turned forty, let's just try just to see and
if it doesn't, then we tried and I can just go, okay, whatever,
(17:00):
we gave it.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
We gave it a shot.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
But the very first month we tried, and it wasn't
even like when were trying, like your legs weren up
in the air. But I was like, oh, I think
I'm like the ovulations. It was just funny because I
wanted to see like when I was ovulating, because I'm like,
all right, well let's be we're going to try it.
So I was like seeing and I wouldn't say I
was ovulating, so I was like, I didn't pay I'm
not even ovulating, so it's not gonna work.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
So you were like thought that you were just seeing.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
The stick said I wasn't ovulating, So I was just like,
I guess I don't ovulate anymore. And then yeah, don't
believe just that first month. Yeah for you, but for
you both, here you go.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
How much do you want to bet he's got some
football friends that are single and maybe you should help
a sister up. Huh. I think you should go for
the coaches. Sure. Whatever.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
At this point, I'm like, I'm born again. Okay, I
will listen. There's some like I've got some friends on
a dating app that have some dating app. Yeah, but
it's like the good one. But you're still judging a
book by its cover. Well, that's like, I mean, no,
we don't do that anymore. I mean you see if
someone on Instagram sliding into someone's DMS whatever I.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Was the cover. Really that's like you fell in love
with his words, I.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Mean, his language, his accents, his accents beautiful.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
You guys did that TikTok video was his hysterical hysterical.
How are your kids handling it? And I'm sure they're
so excited.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah, it's uh, the kids are obsessed with Alan. They
love him. He's Alan's an incredible bonus almost ad to them.
He's just so good with them. And I mean he
taught Julie how to ride her bike. He's just he
how he is with both of them, just individually. He
(18:42):
just really cares and it's it's just beautiful to see.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I mean seeing my son, you know, love up on
him and cuddle with them and just have that bond
with him is beautiful. And same with my daughter. Does
he have kids, He does, he has an older son. Okay, yeah,
I already have like a big of a family, yeah,
full on family. Yeah, it's it's it's great. And the
kids are really excited about the baby as well. Like
(19:06):
Jayce the other night, he has like this old lovey
that he calls it, and he was like, you know,
I want to I want to put bring to the
baby's room.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So it was cute. Let's rewind again because there's so
many chapters of your life. I only have one. But
this is something that we have in common. Dancing with
the Stars, yay, I was such a like.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
It was so excited to meet you. Yeah, you were
like the main star of like Dancing with the Stars.
Oh that haircut, it was that hair I mean it
was pretty great.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
I think such it was a great movement. Yeah, on
a date, I.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Would say you and Derek were the two people that
I would have ever been like, oh, that's many stars.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
And when I saw you for the first time, I
was like, look at this hot little girl grinding up
on her dance partner, convincing the whole world that you
guys were like made to rumba underweight? Was it a
rumba in the shower? It was hard to show dance,
of course, you remember, do you remember the dance? I
(20:05):
remember the shower dance. I don't dance. It was salsa,
I don't know, but yeah, how was your experience on
Dancing with the Stars? The good, bad, and ugly?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I wish I could go back because it was such
a well, it's a it's a twofold liking for me
where I was grateful for the timing of it because
my ex had gone to rehab, so that was was
a plan like that, like so that you know, I
had been asked a couple of years previously to dancing
the Stars, and I just the timing didn't work out.
So when I got called, I was like, you know what, yes,
(20:35):
because he just did what he did and I need
to just like focus on myself and do something for
me and have fun and feel sexy.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
And uh did you watch the show before? Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah yeah, like I said, I like, I loved it.
I have a picture of me and len and and
uh who else was uh Bruno Bruno? Yeah, with me
and my mom like the second season, like I went
as like a fan in the audience.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Oh that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Also on the other side, I wish I could go
back now in a totally healthier mind frame and do
it again. And uh so.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
You would do it again? Oh, in a heartbeat. And
if you couldn't dance with the club, who would you
want to dance with?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
I wouldn't want to dance with the club again, just
because if I could have hand picked my person to
dance with it, probably.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Can I thought. Is that not how it works for
you celebrities? No, I mean they don't ask you like
who would you dance with or who would you want to.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Well, of course I asked for val right, but he
was already partnered with because he again he was one
of the like he was with Lori Hernandez okay, and
they ended up winning that season.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Right, So uh, but I'm I'm with Ryan Lochte, you
were locked and almost got killed on the dance floor.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, I'm blanking his name now, and this is he's
married to the beautiful wrestler Hella.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Would you guys would look great to get I really
like wanted that pairing now, Pasha, maybe too, Yeah I
think I like your stuff. Yeah. Yeah, he's also like
so sweet and yeah, not like Glob's not, but like
he's a different type of sweet.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Well. I think Glob's uh training was just wasn't for
me at the time totally, and so artam differentis.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
When I had worked with Artem very brief, it was
just Glove got hurt and so I had I had
done a just like a practice of the Artem and
I was like, wow, this is I enjoy this so
much more interesting just the way that he was able
to lead, communicate and lead and really just explain it
(22:36):
to me, because a lot of times I would be
very confused, and you be patient, very patient. I needed
that because I think I was very sensitive of course
at that time.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
But in general, I think you're sensitive, right because you're vulnerable.
You've never done this before. Yeah, let's not forget I
don't know how to dan.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
I hope you don't because I'm hearing I heard an
interview that Gleb did. He said that he hasn't had
any good partners. And I'm like, well, because we're not
all we we're not good dancer. I'm not a dancer,
you know. He's like, he says he hasn't had a
good he's never had a good yeah dancer. And I'm like, well, well,
because we don't. I'm not I don't dance. So but
(23:13):
it's fine. I think he's he's great, and you know,
he's he's lovely and all. But if I could have
handpicked it of an artem for sure.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Right. So during your time though with Gleb when this
was all happening, was he like, uh, obviously you're forced to.
I guess either you like each other or you hate
each other. It's pretty black or white because it's seven
days a week. Sure, did you know the workload going
into Dancing Stars was going to be this intense? They
don't tell you. You didn't.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
He said it was like four days and it was
going to be And again, my daughter was very young
at the time, So you would have said yes, I
know I would have said it. Yes if it was
if it was seven all day, twenty four hours, but
I just I didn't realize the amount of time. And
and then on top of it, they don't really tell
you the inner use how long those take too, so
(24:01):
it's it's more of a commitment than I think they
lead on. Having said that I again, I would do
it all over again.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
And I understand why they do that, because if they
were to really say out wish like it would be hard.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
To best probably like want more and right right.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
With all this drama, because I'll never forget. So when
I was watching your camera blocking was the first time
that I don't know if it was the premiere, I'm
assuming it was the premiere and the camera blocking leading
into the premiere, but like Dina Katz, I was sitting
next to Dina, who's like my Dancing with the Star's mom.
She's so sweet, and she was saying how much she
loved you, and I think this was also that US
(24:37):
Weekly thing had come out, and I was like, I
was taken aback at just your professionalism and also was
a little like concerned that you weren't feeling right because
I just I look when you when you do when
you work a lot. You tend to like me in
(24:59):
general for or me id numb through work, Like it's
just more socially acceptable than what I used to do,
which was drink myself to death. But like I wanted
And then at the same time, I was like, wabe,
but this is like there was so many different mixed feelings,
right because we take you under like anyone who joins
the cast of Dancing with the Stars. You are our
family forever.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
It was the best summer camp for adults for adults
for two yes so or so months, and then the
problem afterwards was like, oh, I still have so much work.
I have to Now I have to see if I
am I staying in my marriage and my parents are
we getting back together?
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Is that depressing? Oh?
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Was the worst after Dancing with the Stars. It was
the absolute worst because now I had to face reality
of what we were going to do because I had
separated from him, right, so then I had to go, Okay,
now I've had this time. Now now what and what
do I take you back? Well, he obviously wanted you
know that it would never happen again and the family would.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
And did he like watch you on the show? Was
it weird?
Speaker 2 (25:55):
So he came the last I came to the to
the finale of the when I was still on the show,
and yeah, that was it was weird. It was just
sad because I wish he was there supporting in a
way that I would have wanted him to be there
as a husband supporting me the entire time of course,
So that's where it's. That was really sad. Yeah, and
(26:16):
like a reality that, oh god, I have to now face.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
This was dancing in general, moving your body like that.
Was it therapeutic? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It was fantastic. I loved it. It was challenging because
you get so mental of I'm not good at this
and I have, you know, the whole I'm not good
enough and blah blah blah, and it really mentally messes
with you. Like during week three to five, you're just like, I.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Suck and this is the worst ever. And because I
have scores or because it was just like you hit
that like all of.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
It, You're just like, I'm not a dancer and this
is really hard, and now I'm getting criticized and critiqued
and X, Y and Z, and so I think that's
that's hard to do because then your brain just goes well,
you suck and that's just I guess what mine does.
And again that's why I'd want to go back and
be like.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Just have fun. You want to hold the Mirrorball trophy,
like let's just be real, Like it's so cheap like
mine was. The second season and third season of the
Mirrorball trophies were made of lamp shades. Cute. Yeah, it
was like a joke, but not a joke. But that's
why mind is completely like in the trash because it's
the mirrors have fallen off one by one. But nowadays
(27:20):
it's like very blingy. But uh, it is interesting because
dance in itself, like within this show, I think even
in the ballroom dance competitive world, they're so like if
your partner is not gay, you are with your partner,
like because of the intimacy that dancing just in general balllessness,
like you're dry humping each other. Let's just like it
(27:41):
is what it is. Yeah, right. It must have been
really uncomfortable to not only be the headlines for you know,
what's going on with your personal life and your marriage,
but also then with the married man glub. Yeah, it's
I mean it was.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
It's not easy, especially as he kept saying, being like
be more sexy, and I'm like, I don't know how
to be like this is this is awkward. I don't
know how to do this.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
You know.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
So I remember, you know, thinking back, I watched him like,
oh god, it's just I don't know how to do
that the hit thrusty thing. I've never danced like that before.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I don't even. I don't even.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
It's just it's not it not natural. It doesn't come naturally.
You've never danced like this before. So it's just But
then there's the part of me too. It's like I'm
an actress and now I need to act like I
am sexually and you know, so sexual and sexy and yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
So did you guys do something with a bed? Did he? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Yeah, it was like a bed shower scene and it
was my dad was in the audience that show, so
that was uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
How did he react? He was very supportive. Listen, it
goes down in history like that. It was. It was
a good one. It was. It was definitely memorable and
I was good. I saw your first dance at Beanese Waltz.
And did you get slacked by from Len like about
not having enough content or whatever, but I thought it
was solid. Thanks, Like actually, like, no matter what I do,
(29:08):
believe sexy comes from within. Like honestly, I don't act
when I'm dancing like I'm either dancing a drive piss
because I just am pissed in general, or like.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Well the drive socks. I hate doing the drift.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Who likes to bounce up and down and a cheerleader
like I don't like I'm not like my least like
two little kids, Like literally, I can't. I can't do
contemporary the wrong show.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
I love contemporary that I've never danced, like, so you
think you can dance, and so I was like that
was always like because and.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Then you're dancing with us ballroom train dancers, most of us,
Gleb especially, and then you put us barefoot, and we
are the student. We're like teaching this. We're the student
teaching the student.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Well that makes sense. I guess Gleb fell on our
season finale dance. He was barefoot, so that makes sense
now he does. But he also was like revering from
the flow, so he needs a.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Cuban real I've never I I will dance contemporary heels
and I will be called out for it and it
is what it is. But like, I don't think I
could do that at all. But I also didn't sign
up for that type of show you in your dreams
and be like Cheryl, Yeah, dare you put your belly
slippers on and call it a day dancing with the Stars.
(30:23):
Did it ever occur to you how popular the show
was and the exposure that you were going to get, Like,
I'm sure you had heard stories and like, yes, whatever.
It's been a part of hot topics for many, many years.
A lot of people like Mario Lopez for example, he
definitely used this platform. Like I mean, this was back
in season three. It was very popular. It's not you
(30:45):
can't compare it now because TV is not the same.
But with Mario, like he really transformed his whole career.
Would you say that dancing did that for you? No,
I think you feel like you already were, like you
were established.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I think I mean at the time, yeah, I'm in
country radio, I was music was great, I was acting
like I I think say, I'm trying to think how
it I don't know if it did the skyrocket that
might have done for other people that haven't been Like
because you had the podcast already, right, No, I had
(31:20):
started podcasting. But I think, you know, there's definitely a
fan base from that show that people go, oh, yeah,
I remember you from that show. Yeah, But I don't
think it was like how maybe it was in the beginning,
or if it was someone that maybe wasn't in the
maybe it's different for I don't know sports people or
(31:42):
I'm not really sure. But I'm grateful for anyone that
it's listening that saw me on that show, discovered me
on the show.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
And would you allow Alan to do it? If you
got asked? Can I hand pick the partner who I'm retired? Sorry,
want me anyway? I'm so no, No, I would trust you.
I trust like I mean, I trust my fiance. I'm
not saying like that, but like again, it's like hard,
(32:08):
I mean it's it's hard, man.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
I would you know what? Because I trust him so much,
I would be like I would at least want it
to be with like a Whitney. And this is what
I've learned from my ex. It doesn't matter who you
put in front of someone else. The person is going
to do what they're going to do, regardless if they're beautiful, sexy,
not for like the person anyone that's going to be
and faithful is going to be and faithful whether you
(32:32):
put them in the lines done or not. So like
I trust my fancy if he would want to go
to Dancing with the Stars, go to Dancing with the Stars,
and I will be front row and like.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Good for you.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Like if it was my ex, I'd be like no
because I didn't trust him, right, but he would have
done it regardless exactly. Again, I think people people will
always find a way to cheat.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
You don't have to. And also it's okay to still
have feelings of maybe fear and then also that you
know what I mean, like letting him do it, but
then still be vocal about like wait a second, like
you're okay, right, We're good.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
But it's hard. It would it wouldn't be like super
easy for sure?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Do you believe? In the Dancing with the Stars curse
was that it's basically like for more for the bachelor
bachelorettes of the show that like tran like goes from
that show from being newly engaged to doing Dancing the Stars.
Some most of the time they don't get out alive,
meaning like the divorce or the separation between the yes,
the contestants or the person who found love doesn't last
(33:27):
because I believe it's nothing to do with dancing stars.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
I mean no, I mean my writing was on the
wall like before I did the show, you know, not
with you, but in general, oh, in general, yeah, oh no.
I think again, if people are going to be respectful,
they're going to be respecting exactly. And that's just like
I guess I can go back to my fancy. He's
the most respectful, good, good dude. Like people make their
own choices and stuff like that. Yeah, I don't think
(33:53):
the curse is anything. It's not a curse.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Ye. No, You're gonna do what you're gonna do. So
you guys are getting married eventually, there's no date, not
really and kind of okay okay slash kind of and
is it going to be in the States or we're
not in the states? Okay, yeah, Jana, I would like
to play a game. Are you games? I know you do?
Who falls in love first? The pro dancer, the actual
(34:17):
dancer or the celebrity.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I would say celebrity smart.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Who cried first? You are glob? Oh me who passed
gas first?
Speaker 2 (34:28):
You are glob glob okay cool who got suddy first?
Speaker 1 (34:31):
You were glad club who forgot their routine? The most
globe me really, probably good old Globe or he.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Just blamed me for forgetting it because he forgot it.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
I don't know that's healthy. Name a country song that
summarizes your time with Gleb on The show Man. Sorry,
this is so glob talk is just because this is
sex Lies and spray Tands, so we have to talk
about dancing a song. Should have just called him whiskey
all right. Thanks to my guest Jana Kramer for coming
(35:04):
on being so vulnerable and it's so good to catch
up because life has changed so much for you. Everyone,
Please follow for the better everyone, please follow add sex
Lies and spray Tans to comment and let me know
your thoughts and where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Jan You guys can find me at Kramer Girl. Thanks
for having me on.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
I love you. Make sure you guys follow us at
sex Lies and spraytnds on our Instagram handle and make
sure you comment. Let me know who you want me
to interview. What do you all think? Let me know
Host
Cheryl Burke
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