Finding Happiness and Living Your Purpose with Tim Tamashiro

Kate and Oliver are joined by Tim Tamashiro, author of "How to Ikigai: Lessons for Finding Happiness and Living Your Life's Purpose."  They define ikigai and discuss how to do what you love, find joy, make the most of your time, and more.

Executive Producers: Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Produced by Allison Bresnick

Edited by Josh Windisch

Music by Mark Hudson

This show is powered by Simplecast.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hi.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
We wanted to do something that highlighted our.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Relationships and what it's like to be siblings. We are
a sibling.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
Railvalry. No, no, sibling, you don't do that with your
mouth ravelry.

Speaker 4 (00:33):
That's good.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
So I read this book How to Ekey Guy. It
was like a random book.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
I kind of punched in Google top ten self help
books to read, and How the Ekey Guy came up,
and so I started to read it and I got
obsessed with it, and so we reached out to Tim
Thomas Shiro is the author of this book, How to
Ekey Guy, and uncovered what what it is.

Speaker 5 (01:07):
Well, I thought, I thought you sent it to me,
and I looked at the title how the Ekey Guy,
and I thought it was like a dance move. So
I was like, oh, had an Ekey Guy. And it
turns out it's not.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Definitely not it's not.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Well, it could be if it's your Ekey Guy, but
exactly your easy Guy is a dancement.

Speaker 5 (01:28):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah No. We'll let Tim explain
to you sort of what it is when you're listening
to this, But it has to do with sort of
finding your purpose in life and doing what you love
to do.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
Yeah, and he got us to look at what ours was.

Speaker 5 (01:44):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it just it's defining success.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
What is success to you? What is happiness to you?
What is balanced to you? Everyone?

Speaker 5 (01:51):
Everyone's ekey guy is a little bit different, but it was.
It was inspirational. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
And also it's a night.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
It creates like a very good halfway to understanding what
your purpose is, you know, and that doesn't mean that
it doesn't come with challenges or complications and all of
the things that life brings, but it does mean that
you are actively doing the things that you love.

Speaker 5 (02:18):
Right anyway, check out Tim, Tim Thomas Shiro you dig it.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Happy you guys. Hi Tim, Hello, how are you?

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Mee you?

Speaker 4 (02:35):
It's a pleasure to meet you. I've been excited about
hanging out with the Hudson kids for a long time now.

Speaker 5 (02:41):
Yeah we are if we're forty year old children, that's
for sure, there's no doubt about it.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
I'm glad we finally are able to make this happen.

Speaker 4 (02:49):
Well, thank you very much for inviting me. But I
got to tell you, you know, you two are exactly
the kind of friends that I would have had when
I was growing up. I think this is just lovely
that evened me on. So thank you. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
You're really welcome.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
I want to first tell you about how I just
I literally discovered you and your book how to Ekey Guy,
because I went on a list of books of like
that you must read. It was a must read booklist,
and it said how to Ekey Guy, and I was like, oh,
that looks really interesting.

Speaker 5 (03:21):
She thought it was a new dance see the dance
of the Ekey Guy dance.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Well as as someone who is currently partnered with a
half Japanese man and my daughter's Japanese, I was like,
I'm very always intrigued with any anything that has anything
to do with Japan and and my man is from
his family is Oki Nawa.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
So oh wow.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
Right, So I mean you know these third Honeywood, you
third generation, fourth generation America.

Speaker 4 (03:56):
Generation, but I'm second, I'm second generation.

Speaker 3 (04:01):
Oh oh cool.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
So yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
So I was like, well, and I got into it,
and then I started reading your book and I was like,
Ekey Guy is for me. Was like there was something
about it that was just sort of eye opening because
I think you say it in the book. It's all
about how life purpose is a really difficult thing to
process with ekey guy. It sort of gives you a

(04:26):
more sort of like uh, fundamentals to follow, you know,
as to how you're living your life.

Speaker 5 (04:33):
She actually, so to speak, she actually sent it to
our family thread. We have a family thread called Family Affair,
and she sent the book to the thread and that's
how I got interested in it.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
And that's amazing.

Speaker 5 (04:45):
Yeah, it made me rethink my entire life, which I
don't know is a good they're a bad thing.

Speaker 4 (04:51):
Well, it's you know, it is a fundamental question though,
isn't it all of her?

Speaker 5 (04:55):
Oh? Yeah, no, I know, I know. I mean I
have questioned this and we're going to get into all
of it in a minute. But just my own personal experience,
I always question sort of what I do for a living. Yes,
I love it, but it is it is it a
passion of mine? Not necessarily you know, do what you love,
do what you're good at, do what the world needs.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
You know. I think I can check off a couple
of those boxes.

Speaker 5 (05:17):
But you know, it's it makes me think about if
I am doing the thing that I am supposed.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
To be doing.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
And Tim, for me, your entry into this was really
just talking about your life. And you're a musician, and
I consider myself a musician, and I haven't been living
my Ekey Guy like I haven't been living that path.
So there is something that for me was like a
light bulb that went off when I read that book

(05:45):
because you sort of entered it through music, which made
it very relatable for me.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
But let's start. Let's start with Tim.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Why don't you introduce yourself and let's talk about really
like how you got to writing this book how.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
To Ekey Guy.

Speaker 4 (06:02):
Okay, Yes, my name was Tim Tammashiro. I'm fifty seven
years old and I've been living my Ekey Guy since
I was about maybe twenty one years old when I
kind of figured out, Oh, what the heck am I
wait a second. I was supposed to have fun in life,
and I was supposed to do the things that I
love to do and the things that I'm good at.
So you know, the the interesting thing about doing that

(06:22):
is that I grew up in a very very small town,
a crazy small town, like a thousand people in central
Alberta in Canada, and I was a bit of a different,
you know. And when I say that, I mean I
was myself and my brother were the two only visible
minorities in the entire town, you know, so we had

(06:45):
our own fair share of things that we had to
deal with as far as that was concerned and whatnot.
So I was always considered different, but you know, I
didn't really know what it was that made me different.
Why not? So when I was about twenty years old,
I was I was working on the highways at that time,
and I was I was a surveyor. I was actually
helping them, you know, make sure the roads went straight.

(07:07):
You know, that's like that's it's a thankless job, by
the way. And I laid in bed one Saturday morning
and I just realized, you know, is this what life
is supposed to be? Just a series of well paying
jobs and you put in the nine to fives and
then you know, you get a house, and you get
a car, and you get married and all that other

(07:28):
kind of stuff. And I went, no, I don't want
to live my life that way. I want to I
want to live my life doing things that are enjoyable
for me and that I love to do, and then
I'm good at And I was always kind of a
little bit of a singer. So I decided right there
and then on that Saturday morning, I sat up in
dead and I literally said, I'm going to be a singer.
I'm going to be a musician and h and that

(07:49):
started off this incredible cascade of events that have been
just an extraordinary string of just wonderful life experiences. You
know what. You know, you two grew up in a
in you know, the How would you describe Hollywood?

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Is it?

Speaker 4 (08:08):
Is it a dream making place or a dream crushing place?

Speaker 5 (08:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (08:13):
A little bit more than dream making, but yeah, right,
but when you do, then it's you know.

Speaker 5 (08:20):
Well, Hollywood, it's dream making and then crushing within a year,
you know.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
I mean it can be.

Speaker 5 (08:27):
Honestly like, you can have a job and you're on
top of the world for two years, and then that
job ends and now now you're crushed.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Now it's like, okay, how the identity is?

Speaker 4 (08:35):
Now the identity is? You're scratching your head, going now
what right? So what I've discovered about Ekey Guy is that, uh,
Ekey Guy comes from okinologypan where my grandparents are from.
And I've always had that incredible sense that I would
say it was almost part of my DNA that Ekey
Guy was something that I knew that I had to do,

(08:56):
that's something that I was good at, and that something
that could also help the unity in general, right, and
that I could be rewarded for. And that doesn't necessarily
mean a salary or payment. It really means how can
I be thanked for it? You know? How can people
show appreciation? So it creates this beautiful boomerang of joy

(09:18):
that just keeps on going around and around and around
and around. So just to make the story shorter, because
it's very very I will say that I've been fortunate
enough to have this extraordinary life of doing all these
crazy things, and once I just kind of put my
mind to it and I know that it's something that
I'm good at and that I love to do, I
just go and do it. I literally just go and

(09:40):
do it. So I've been I've been a major label
record lab a rep, major label record rep, and a
radio host and a jazz singer. And I just returned
from Thailand where I ordained as a monk. And I
also I also I just I'm scheduled now to I'm

(10:02):
going to go sing on a ship for a bunch
of months just because I want to.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
Well, see, that's the thing that I loved that I
took so much from your book, which was that it's
really like life, purpose or whatever, that that thing is
for you. It doesn't matter where you're doing it or
what is like you said, like success and how it's measured.
It's not that it's not accolades, it's not money and
granted for me, I think people would say, like, oh,

(10:27):
it's easy for you to say because you know I
have the means. But at the same time, it's like,
it doesn't matter how much money you have if you're
not living, If you're not living what makes.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
You happy, then what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (10:39):
You know?

Speaker 3 (10:40):
And like I sometimes think that I would.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
I could be in a restaurant with no one listening,
with a piano player and sing all night long and.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
Be so I'm collect like you'd sing that song.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
And I'd be and I'd be happy. I'd be like
living my weird eke.

Speaker 5 (11:03):
Let me ask you a question, though, So in your
twenties you had this discovery or you had this you
sat up in bed and decided.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
To change your life.

Speaker 5 (11:10):
Basically at that point, did you determine that this was
Eke Guy, or did you have to sort of come
upon that later in life and understand, oh, wait a minute,
I did something instinctual that is actually somewhat traditional and cultural.

Speaker 4 (11:25):
That was like I just felt right when I started,
when I committed to it. But I didn't know anything
about Eke Guy. In fact, I didn't even really learn
about Eke Guy until maybe about me I would say,
probably twenty years later or something like that, where it
just kind of popped up on a on this random
television show that I was watching on a Sunday afternoon
and I was looking for something to fall asleep to,

(11:48):
and it was a it was a furniture design competition,
and I remember that these people were given the task
to be able to create some sort of a couture
or something along those lines, a lounge or something. And basically,
this one person made this really kind of bachelor pad couch,

(12:09):
kind of shark true some color, but it had four
circles on it, you know, embroidered into the back of
the couch. And the host was smart enough to ask,
what is that? What is that symbol? And he said, oh,
it's Ekey Guy. It means that it means that you
do what you love, and I went something about that word.
I just kind of went, ekey guy. That's a Japanese word.

(12:30):
Something just kind of triggered it. And so, needless to say,
I wasn't having a snooze that afternoon. I was immediately
on my phone and I was looking up how do
you spell ekey guy? What is this ekey guy thing?
And then it just turned into this hunting expedition for
more and more information about it. Now, at that time,
there was hardly any information about it at all, even

(12:50):
though it's been around for two thousand years. But I
do need to make the point that ekey guy is
not necessarily something that you do that is a profession
per se. Eke guy is something that you do naturally,
that is just part of who you are. It's a
it's a verb, and it's usually it's usually approached with

(13:14):
some sort of an intention. So my ekey guy is
to delight. So I know that I can delight a
million times a day, So that's what I go out
and do. Maybe we should figure out what your eke
guys are.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
I would love to, well, let's explain what Let's explain
what eke guy is what's your you know, if someone
was like, what's your elevator pitch for Eke Guy?

Speaker 3 (13:34):
What what is that?

Speaker 4 (13:37):
Well, I literally say, Eke Guy is a lifestyle that
comes from when my grandparents were born in Okinawa, and
it's essentially a way for you to be able to
live your life's purpose. And it's a roadmap. Four steps
in the roadmap. You do what you love, do what
you're good at, do what the world needs, and do
what you can be rewarded for. Sometimes some times you

(14:00):
get paid for it, but more more often than not.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
It's just something I want to break that down.

Speaker 5 (14:04):
Yeah, you're right, because because you're talking about there's there.
There's your profession, you know, and then there are the
things that you love. Hopefully you love your profession. But
do those things sort of cross pollinate, right?

Speaker 4 (14:18):
You can they? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (14:19):
So, so do what you love.

Speaker 1 (14:21):
Like if if if I if we were to, if
we were to, like let's find Oliver's ekey guy.

Speaker 5 (14:26):
Right, I've been thinking about this, like I love I
love to fish, like I'm a passionate fisherman, Like I
I want to I've had a boat and I fly fish.
But I have a boat and I you know, and
it's what I would That's what I love to do.
I don't do it enough though, So part of me
in discovering what my ikey guy is is to indulge

(14:47):
more in the things that I love, right, yeah, yeah,
so that's what I love.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
Well, you love to laugh.

Speaker 5 (14:54):
I love to laugh. Oh yeah, yeah, I mean there's right.
I love to make creole.

Speaker 4 (14:59):
It's a bit of a list, if that's okay, all
over creative, Yeah, tell me about little different things that
you like and whatnot, because I do this a lot
with people all over the world, right And basically literally
the way that we do it is we just have
them answer that just that one question, what do you
love to do?

Speaker 2 (15:16):
Right?

Speaker 4 (15:16):
And that is that's a that's a that's a huge
question that most people never ever think of in their
entire life. So you love to go fishing, you love
to laugh?

Speaker 2 (15:26):
Right?

Speaker 5 (15:26):
I love to laugh. I love to make people laugh.
Like that is a big one for me because that
brings me joy. Like I would say, I'm good at it.
It's what I love. It's probably what the world needs,
just laughter and humor in general. And I can easily
be rewarded for it. And it's not monetary.

Speaker 3 (15:44):
Going ahead of yourself.

Speaker 2 (15:45):
Well, I'm just saying that I just met you. I know,
but I might have.

Speaker 5 (15:48):
Just discovered something because I was trying to after reading
your book. I was trying to sort of fit one
thing into all of these categories, and I might have
just found it because I was thinking more along the lines.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Of fishing or I love golf. Right, I love mountain biking.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
You know, well, let's so let's keep going.

Speaker 4 (16:09):
What else? What else do you love to do? Mountain biking,
mountain biking, Okay.

Speaker 5 (16:14):
Mountain biking, I love. I love fishing, I love anything water.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (16:19):
I love diving, I love I love I love the outdoors.
I love the ocean, I love nature, I love the mountains.
I love my family. Okay, huge, you know I love honestly,
I love doing nothing.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
I love being.

Speaker 4 (16:37):
That's the most honest answer.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
I mean, I love doing nothing with the people I love.

Speaker 5 (16:42):
I love just you know, just uh, storytelling.

Speaker 4 (16:49):
Okay, what about what about in your profession? What do
you love to do?

Speaker 2 (16:56):
Well?

Speaker 5 (16:58):
No, I so I'm I'm an actor and I'm in
the entertainment industry, right, yes, right, I do things, But
my main occupation I would say to make my money
is being an actor. I love being an actor in moments,
meaning that the craft itself happens for me in moments
when a scene is good, when when when it's working
with the creative aspect of changing something to make it better.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
I love acting as a whole.

Speaker 5 (17:25):
It's not something that I've always sort of loved, and
it's been part of my passion. I love being on
sets though. It is my happy place. I love the energy,
I love the creativity.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
I love that makes sense though, because we're setting the
tone like we were.

Speaker 3 (17:41):
Like you know, like like movie kids like we.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
We grew up, would have grown up there.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
I grew up on sets.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah, I'm behind, but more more in the scene though,
like behind the camera with you know, wardrobe and the
camera department and working in the working behind yeah oka camera.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (18:02):
And then what about what about with your friends? What
do you love to do with your friends?

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (18:07):
Laughter is huge, so funny, you know, laughter is huge.
Humor is such a big part of everyone and everything
in my life. And as we get older, it's nice
to have actual conversations that have some depth, you know.
And it's not just because I've been friends with these
boys since I was some one of them in preschool,
you know.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
And I just love the camaraderie of being like to weed.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
With your friends.

Speaker 2 (18:32):
Yeah, have a cocktail, cocktails, drink, have fun. Just it's
the musician.

Speaker 5 (18:37):
Well, it's almost like it's almost it's almost the intangibles.
It's that connectedness that you feel when when you're with
your with your people, where no words need to be exchanged,
you are just sort of in each other's presence, and
that feeling is important and positive, I think, and I
don't do it enough.

Speaker 4 (18:54):
By the way, this is really interesting because you said connectedness.
What does it feel like for you when you're out
fishing and you're out mountain biking and your out nature
and you're doing things that are that are more solitude.
Is that Is there a connectedness there too? Or is
that not?

Speaker 5 (19:12):
There's a connectedness to something much bigger obviously, and there
is something energetically that just sort of washes everything else away.
When I'm out fishing, nothing really matters much anymore. I
am focused on whatever I'm doing as far as the
technical aspect of it, but it's just more of the

(19:32):
bigger experience of being out on the ocean.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
For ten days on a boat and not seeing land,
you know.

Speaker 5 (19:38):
Or being in there or being in the mountains and
just sitting by a fire realizing.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
That, oh, nothing really fucking matters except for this.

Speaker 5 (19:51):
You know, I really love that, don't you. Yeah, Nature's
huge and you know. And then being a dad honestly,
like being a father is something I love and you're
good at.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I do. And it's not ready
to go high five to be a good dad. That's amazing.

Speaker 4 (20:07):
Yeah, Okay, so just basically what you're talking about, you're
talking about all these amazing passions, you know, your your
family and your laughter and doing nothing and storytelling and
acting sort of.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
I do love it.

Speaker 4 (20:22):
And that was an interesting Well here's the thing.

Speaker 5 (20:24):
The thing for me in my profession is is that
I feel like I haven't had an opportunity yet to
do as an actor, to do something where I can
really dig in and have a special moment with it.
I am an actor for hire. I do network television shows.
You don't get time to rehearse, you don't get time
to create really except on the fly. And I look

(20:44):
at Wyatt and Kate and my siblings who have had
these amazing moments. You know what I mean to just
dig in and be creative and be a part of
the process, and I've yet to have that. I have
to sort of create that for myself. And the other
thing I will say is this is that always wanted
to make movies or TV as a director, you know,
And I did one thing. I shot this fifteen minute

(21:07):
presentation and it was just chaos. But I was so
comfortable in the chaos. Nothing phased me. I had no nerves.
And there was twice during that two day process where
I had to step aside because I got emotional, because
I felt like, fuck, this is what I need to do,
this is what I should be doing.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
I was so well.

Speaker 5 (21:25):
I just nothing phased me, and I was thinking, Man,
if I could do this actually for real and.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
Had time, you know, I know, that's where my talent was.

Speaker 3 (21:35):
He's talking about directly, Yeah.

Speaker 5 (21:37):
Being a director, yeah, you know, and creating something my vision,
you know, my uniqueness, rather than just saying lines that
someone wrote for me.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
I'm ready to go.

Speaker 3 (21:49):
I'm going to move this along because this is getting
a little This is about.

Speaker 4 (21:52):
No I can't understand, but that is, but that's connection
to you know. So yeah, like I say, you know,
you've talked about all these great passions and whatnot, but
it all comes back down to connection, connection with people,
and washing away whatever it is that you're that you
can wash away. But I would I would invite you
to just pay attention to that action of to connect.

(22:14):
You know what does that mean, nikky guy can be
a can be like a multifaceted jewel that you can
look at it from a million different ways. Yes, I
want to connect with my family, I want to connect
with my kids, want to connect with my friends, I
want to connect with nature. I want to do all
this sort of stuff. And if that is something that
resonates with you, I really invite you to just kind
of think about that and and see if there's other

(22:35):
ways that connection matters to you, to make films or
something along those along those lines, but regardless, it's going
to be something that is that is h an action
that you can immediately wake up in the morning and go, well,
I know what I get to do today? It would
be me.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
I love the connecting because that is so you Like,
you know, I was a lot.

Speaker 3 (22:56):
I was our family.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
It's kind of how we grew up as well. But
like to connect, Like if you think about everything that
you love to.

Speaker 3 (23:01):
Do, because.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
When we get into mind, it's going to be so
different because acting's actually quite singular. You have to connect
obviously to something like deep inside of yourself. But it's
a much it's not it's not an outwardly it is shared.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
But like when you're learning or you're like in the.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
Craft and you're you know, you know you you have
to like go into this place that is quite lonely.
There's something that feels kind of singular about it.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
Totally. Sure, Well we'll let's do you real quick.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
Well are we done with you?

Speaker 2 (23:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Well what so?

Speaker 4 (23:42):
So spend some time I would invite you to just
spend some time around that, around that word connect to
connect that action. And if it doesn't work for you,
start looking around for a word that is maybe in
the same ballpark. Open that thesaurus, you know, crack open
the phone and start looking through the for words that
might that might connect with you, that is some sort

(24:03):
of a verb uh, and and that maybe you can
you know, steer you towards what it is that you
really love to do. Now I need to make a
point though, you know, there's a big difference between your
job and your work. Right, your job is something that
you do in order to be able to earn an income.
Your work is something that you do to achieve something
bigger and more more, uh like important, I guess, and

(24:27):
you are your work really, you know, So that is
that's something that's really important in terms of just understanding
the day to day kind of stuff. Yeah, you're gonna
go and you're going to have your job, and you
might be able to include your work in it, right,
but you know, to be able to work on yourself
every day. That's that's absolutely huge.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
I like that.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
I love that that is true, especially for really creative people.
But you know, I mean I personally think we say creative,
but I think everyone's creative. I think everyone has we
I mean, we are all created, so like we are
here to create, you know, and pro create. So I

(25:09):
think everyone has that whatever they are going to do
or whatever they like, whatever drives them is coming from
a creative place.

Speaker 4 (25:17):
Yeah, So what do you love to do?

Speaker 3 (25:20):
What do I love to do? I love to sing.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
I love to sing, I love to perform. I love
to dance anywhere anytime.

Speaker 3 (25:33):
I love to work my body. I like to be active.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
I also love to connect, but I also really love
being alone. I love being in quiet. That's charging though, right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
but I really need it. You know.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
It's like you don't have to like.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
Disappear, and if I don't, I could go crazy, you know.

Speaker 4 (26:01):
Yeah, Okay. And then to the job side. What is
it that you love about your job?

Speaker 3 (26:07):
Everything?

Speaker 1 (26:09):
I love the camaraderie when it's good. I love the
depth of connection intimacy I feel with other actors when
you're when you're in it with them. I love being
on a movie set. I love telling stories. I love

(26:29):
being able to give great directors that I have so
much respect for what they need. I love that feeling
of knowing that I'm bringing something to life for them
that they that they see. And then maybe hopefully when
you said delight, I love that because I love when

(26:51):
I can delight them with something new as well.

Speaker 4 (26:54):
You know, I got can I just throw something in here? Yeah?
Everything that you just say here so far kind of
kind of points to delight.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
Right, that's I mean, a good word, Yeah, I I
it is.

Speaker 4 (27:09):
It's okay. You can you can share it with me
if you.

Speaker 1 (27:11):
Want, I mean absolutely, I mean, I you know, yeah,
I mean I I definitely delight or I also like
making people feel good, you know, like to lift, you know,
to like elevate.

Speaker 4 (27:27):
Oh that's interesting.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
I like to help people, you know, I like to
help people achieve.

Speaker 4 (27:36):
Achieve. What do you have an example of that and
you'd be comfortable to share?

Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (27:40):
Like in it just let's use a scene partner, and
let's say someone is struggling, like I want to be
there to help them get to the place they need
to get to. You know, I'm happy being delay up
for the dunk, you know, on.

Speaker 5 (28:00):
That's a you mean that like the pass for the
doc like, yeah, you score on a layup?

Speaker 3 (28:06):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Well, then what is maybe like an alley? Like do
you like to throw the alleue the alleu?

Speaker 4 (28:11):
Right?

Speaker 1 (28:11):
I like being the allius there you go. Okay, I'm
very happy being an alley. You surprisingly, I don't always.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Have to dunk, you know.

Speaker 4 (28:20):
Yeah, why can't that be your ekey guy? The alle
kind of value?

Speaker 2 (28:26):
What a great name.

Speaker 4 (28:29):
There's no there's no rules behind what a niky guy
can be. You know. I was. I talked with a
gentleman once and I said, what do you love to do?
Because I love to break things, and I would that
sounds like the best ekey guy. Ever, what do you do?
He says, I'm a software engineer. I like the break software.
But I've always broken things, like even through the time

(28:49):
that I was a kid. You know, I take apart
the radio or computer or whatever. Then I put it
back together see if it could could work better or whatever.
But so, you know, all, if that makes sense to you,
that's something you need to pay.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
I feel like create, like I like to create, like
you think about the things like I've got my businesses,
I've got my you know, development, I making my record, Like,
I'm constantly creating things. So that's all, you know, you know,
I think the I think the thing that I don't

(29:23):
like is the is like what all like, I want
to create.

Speaker 3 (29:26):
I just don't want to have to be like so
linear all the time.

Speaker 4 (29:29):
M hm oh okay that hard part.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
Yeah, I want to do that. I just don't want
it to be my job.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
Oh yeah, you know what I mean, Like the job.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
The job part is like joves you crazy, but the
work part is exciting.

Speaker 4 (29:47):
Yeah. Yeah. So is there something there that you see
you you kind of spiced up a little bit there
when you're talking about lyft, elevate, alley loop create you're
really in to just from the energy that I sensed
from you, that you're really into telling about how you're
just really passionate about everything about your job. You know,

(30:09):
to encompass, to to Oh gosh, I don't have a
fisaurus in front of me, but.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Develop, yeah, like enveloped, yeah, to be yes, immersed, immersion, immerse, yeah, yeah,
I mean I think I think the right word.

Speaker 3 (30:28):
I mean, immersion is actually really interesting, you know.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
But then it's the thing is because I need more
of that, because that's when I'm the most.

Speaker 5 (30:37):
Productive, right Because if you find your word, I'm sure
you can have multiple words too, But if you find
that word or that sense, then how do you implement
that into your everyday life?

Speaker 2 (30:47):
You know?

Speaker 5 (30:47):
If like if you're saying immersion, like, if if that
is your focus, how do you wake up and immerse yourself?

Speaker 1 (30:53):
It means I'm going today is going to be about
my kids. I'm going to immerse.

Speaker 5 (30:56):
Myself, right, maybe into a specific category of some to
dive in.

Speaker 4 (31:01):
Yeah, right, that's that's that sort of thing, like really
get into it.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
Like I'm going to go make music I'm going to
completely immerse myself and mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (31:13):
Well something to say that there's something there for you.
I can see that you're really kind of thinking. That's
kind of what I do every day.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
It's a verb and not like right a thing right.

Speaker 4 (31:26):
It's funny.

Speaker 5 (31:27):
It's funny when you said it was a verb, because
that was one of my questions. I was like, how
do you Is it an adjective?

Speaker 2 (31:31):
Is it a verb? Do you ekey guy or too
ekey guy? Or is it a noun? You know what
I mean? But I guess it is a verb.

Speaker 4 (31:39):
You Yeah, they're there are actions that kind of encompassed
every every bit of the of the of the good
qualities and there and the great joy that you attain
out of life, you know. And it's different for everybody.
You know, an engineer might might have a different kind
of ekey guy than say a doctor. But but regardless,
you know, I've I've talked to all sorts of people

(32:00):
that of one gentleman was into as I was going
through this workshop with him and his colleagues, he said,
you know, I've been thinking about this the whole time
and he says, I always thought that my eke guy
was to collect. But he says it's not about collect
because he said, he gathered all these beautiful glass sculptures
and his house is filled with all these glass sculptures.

Speaker 2 (32:20):
But then he.

Speaker 4 (32:21):
Says, but now I'm giving them all away because I
don't really want them. He says, But now that I
think about it, I like to hunt them down. I said, well,
there's your ekey guys to hunt. He says. I'd love
to hunt everything. I love to hunt it down. So
you know, there's all sorts of ways to be able
to look at it and whatever inspires you. Ultimately, the
great thing is is that once you name your ekey guy,

(32:44):
that is the beginning to understanding it. Really, that is
that is the answer right there, because now you know,
tomorrow you might want to wake up Oliver and go, oh,
my eke guy to connect. I wonder if that's it,
you know, if it lifts you, you can kind of go,
I'm gonna just connect with a bunch of people and

(33:06):
things and projects today. Just see what would have makes
you feeling.

Speaker 5 (33:09):
No, it's cool because it's it seems to be fluid.
It's living and breathing in a sense, you know what
I mean. It's not just one solid thing that just
sticks in the ground like a monolith, like an Ekey
Guy monolith. It's moving, meaning a connectivity. Connectedness could mean
so many different things you know from day to day,
but it's just the overall of being connected to whatever

(33:31):
it is that you choose to do or make that
make a choice based on being connected, you know.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
But yeah, and can your ekey guy change?

Speaker 4 (33:42):
Why not? There's no rules and lights that say that
you can't. Well, I guess really what it boils down to,
is it, you know, ekey guy, is really based on
your true authentic seuse you know. So you know, we're
kind of we are kind of fully formed now, you know.
But I could see how you know, when you're you know,
when you're ninety years old, maybe right to connect still

(34:05):
works for you, you know, and for you, k maybe
when you're ninety years old to immerse it still works
for you, you know. I mean, take a look at
your family and see what it is that they do.
Have they all always done.

Speaker 3 (34:16):
Their parents Ekey guy, I don't know.

Speaker 5 (34:20):
But but now I'm going into my whole psychology just
about connection, right and just about how hard it always
has been for me to truly connect because of vulnerability
issues and you know what I mean, Like, now I'm going.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
Deeper into this whole thing.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
Maybe maybe myself, yeah, you know, maybe it is really
your eky guy, your true authentic self is to connect deeper, deeper.

Speaker 4 (34:46):
But then we now, oh that's interesting.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
Then there's do what you're good at?

Speaker 1 (34:52):
So how so okay, so does that also like I'm
good at like always good at connecting or is that
what that means?

Speaker 3 (35:00):
Or do what you're good at? Is the actual.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
Monolith, so to speak, is that like, you know, I'm
good at cooking, so I should be actively pursuing that
desire and that love for cooking.

Speaker 4 (35:16):
Well, the interesting thing is that once you figure out
what you love to do, that's the second question you
ask yourself, is am I good at that?

Speaker 5 (35:24):
Right?

Speaker 4 (35:25):
Right? So it's and it's almost like it's almost like
those two questions are kind of co answers of each other.
And the wonderful thing that I've seen happen with so
many people that I've done this exercise with is that
they go through that do what you love and do
what you're good at, and they kind of go, yeah,
that's me, and then they start asking them or start

(35:46):
noticing rather that, oh, you know what the world does
need that the world really does need more of me, right,
And when I do that authentic action on a regular basis,
they say thank you all the time, and that just
gives me more fuel to just kind of make it
happen again and again and again. You know I mentioned
before that it's a boomerang. It really is so so

(36:10):
uh do you're good at kay? You know you've when
you said you love to sing, there is like a
whole different side of you that I certainly didn't really
know about. But boy, did that ever make your eyes
like sparkle. It was like disco balls in your eyes.
The trying out loud, it was amazing. So so is

(36:31):
it the act of singing that is important to you?
Or is it the act of emoting your own emotions
to people?

Speaker 5 (36:41):
Or is it to do it just for yourself? To
break breaking it down basically, Yeah, why do.

Speaker 2 (36:47):
You like to sing?

Speaker 1 (36:49):
Because I get lost in it? Immerse immerse it's a
weird word. Get like immersed immersions couldn't immerse.

Speaker 4 (37:03):
There's got to be a different word to look those
languages too.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
Yeah, I'm like, I'm definitely getting thesaurus out after this.

Speaker 5 (37:12):
To immerse, Yeah, I have a question to switching gears
just a little bit, because you were twenty one when
you sort of discovered this not necessarily ekey guy. You
found that out later that it was you know, there
was actual word for it or a term.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
DNA was just in it.

Speaker 5 (37:27):
But do you I guess it's it's to each their own.
But do you have to take that jump that risk?
Meaning I have a good job, I'm making money. Maybe
I don't love it, but you know what, fuck it,
I'm just going to go all in and go do
the things that I want to do. You know, I
mean you have to be practical in your life. You
have to survive, right, Just sometimes doing the thing that

(37:49):
you love or that you might be good at isn't
a practical thing. And you know as far as survival
goes and just living in today's world.

Speaker 4 (37:57):
Yeah, certainly, you know.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (38:00):
Any introductory course of the beginner psychology at university will
tell you about Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right, and it's
based on a pyramid that basically says that we have
five essentials that we have to look after each day.
And it begins with you know, food and shelter, and
then safety and security, and then it goes into like

(38:20):
friends and connections, and then ego a little bit of
ego stuff. But at the very top of that pyramid
is self actualization, right, And what most people are able
to do throughout their lives is just focus on those
first four layers. And because it's terrifying when you think
about it. You know, to go a day without food

(38:41):
or shelter, my god, that would be terrifying. And even
without you know, your friends and family, if you had
absolutely no access to them or being able to be
known for something that it is that you're accomplishing in
your life, that might even be a little bit terrifying.
But that fifth level of that pyramid, that self actualization part,
is one thing that we have a tendency as human
beings to forget about. What I'm proposing with ekey guide

(39:05):
is that if we can place more attention on self
actualization and answering that question what do I love to do?
Why was I put on this earth? This gives us
a full life experience, like the fullest life experience. So
the interesting thing is, once you start actualizing more, the
less your need for things you know, expensive homes, fancy

(39:29):
sports cars, whatever the case, the less you needed that.
And I've even when I was at the monastery being
a monk wearing orange, I came up with this theory
that said, okay, wait a second. If you took that
whole idea of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and you took
that whole pyramid and you flipped it upside down, That's

(39:50):
why monks are so happy is because all they do
all day is self actualize. So, you know, putting that
time and energy into yourself on a regular basis, regardless
of how much money it makes you, but focusing more
on how much joy it brings you. That's what I'm saying,
egy guy has the potential of doing. For there's people

(40:12):
who are very very lucky who do something called job crafting,
where even though their job description might not necessarily say
that you're going to do your ekey guy, you just
bring it and you just kind of included. I have
a friend who's a radio host and that's what she does.
There was nothing on her description that you know, she's

(40:33):
supposed to report traffic and weather in the mornings every day,
But what she did is she just Willy Nilly just
started a volunteer grouplet at the radio station. She said, well,
I got the air for two hours a day, I
might as well do some good with it. So she
started this beautiful thing called a do crew. Were basically
volunteers come together and they do you know, habitat for

(40:56):
humanity or harvest a community garden or whatever the case.
But it has nothing to do with their job description.
But that was so successful for her and she's so
happy doing it that now that's turned into six other
radio stations doing the exact same thing. So like job crafting,
job crafting is nice.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
Yeah, it's like like my career like job crafted. Yeah,
I'm like I think I'll start a company.

Speaker 5 (41:25):
Yeah, you know, it's it's also fun to take your
brain and put it into a different place, you know
what I mean. It's yeah, because you're so focused on
one thing, and then it's nice to have your you know,
you're you're you're doing something, you're using a different part
of your brain.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
What is that history though? Of ekey guy? Like it
comes from Okinawa? But like where does it? What is it?
Where does it come from?

Speaker 4 (41:50):
There was a Uh, according to the research that I've done.
There was this wonderful group of women. Women know everything
that women know the most powerful there. You, women are
the most powerful, the smartest, and the most nurturing and
the most wonderful. So these these ladies, they were known
as Ama divers, and Amma divers are very prevalent throughout

(42:13):
Southeast Asia, Japan and China, Korea. And basically, these Amma
divers are women that would go down to the shore
and they had a specific work to do. They literally
went down and they jumped into the ocean butt naked
and took a wooden barrel out and floated it on
the on the surface of the ocean. And what they
do is they dive down as far as they could

(42:35):
and they'd gather food, swim back up and then put
it back into the into the tubs. And they were
really really good at this. You know, some of these
Ama divers. There are still Alma divers to this day,
but some of them, you know, in their eighties. And
they could hold their breath for like three minutes at
a time. But they gather up all these urchins and
sea cucumbers, whatever they could find, and they would put

(42:57):
it into this barrel and then they'd take it back
to the to the community, and they would really be
appreciated for their skill for doing this because it fed
the fed the community right the But the most beautiful
thing about this is that these ladies were the ones
that started calling it iki kai. Iki means life, Kai

(43:18):
means shell, so life's shell. Essentially, they're doing what they
love to do and they're good at it. So uh. Eventually,
over time it morphed into ike kai ekey guy rather uh,
which means life's worth. So you know, other people in
Okinawa started doing things that were you know that they
were really good now, whether it's woodworking or or teaching

(43:41):
or you know, learning martial arts or whatever the case.
So that's that's kind of kind of where it comes from.
It's life in a shell.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
I want it's really beautiful.

Speaker 5 (43:51):
Are there still eight year old naked women diving in
Okinawa for sea or Yeah?

Speaker 4 (43:58):
There's yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure there's I'm sure there's
a few of them up here in Canada too. It's
just a little colder.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
Yeah, It's like it's like Ronnie in the in the
pool shoes are a little ama diver.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
Cool.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
What would be really interesting is if people started tod
if this was actually researched, like, is it researched like
people actually living? Guy?

Speaker 4 (44:23):
Like from a scientific standpoint, right, I know that I
don't know of any specific studies, but I'll tell you what.
I could literally open up the internet right now and
go on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok and find you a thousand
people who are living there. Ekey guy right now, right,
you know, because you know that especially on TikTok, you know,
that's humanity in an application. You know, I love watching

(44:46):
TikTok because you know, not only do you get to
see Kate Hudson dancing around in your kitchen, but you
also get to see uh, you know, four hundred pound
male ballet stars that are exceptionally good what it is
that they do, or kids who photograph toy cars to
make them look like they're real cars with an iPhone

(45:07):
like that.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
I know, that's crazy.

Speaker 4 (45:09):
The vastness of humanity on TikTok especially shows people doing
what it is they love to do and what they're
good at. And I think it's I think that's I
think that's the most beautiful thing in the world.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
But you said something really interesting.

Speaker 5 (45:23):
It's the optimistic side of social media, you know, because
we all look at it as this negative platform. You know,
for the most part, of course we see the benefits
from it. But but when you are looking at through
that looking at it through that lens where you are,
it's a place to discover people doing, you know, what
they love and something that they're good at, and it's
a place for them to express that. That's pretty Uh,

(45:46):
that's an interesting perspective.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
I wonder what living your eke guy does to and
for your self esteem?

Speaker 5 (45:54):
Well, I think so you esteem a lot of it
is based on sort of the perception of you, of yourself,
so other people's person of you, right right, And I
think if you're living your Ekey Guy, then those things
might just go away because you are it doesn't matter,
doing what you love and you're happy about yourself and
you know, but I don't know, I'm as the professional.

Speaker 4 (46:14):
Realgy boils down to happiness, right, That's our natural state.
Happiness is our natural state. And the things that take
us away from happiness or things like anger, greed, and delusions.
This is all ou to talk here now. So these
three things that yank us away from being happy all
the time. Ekey Guy is something that is essentially something

(46:37):
that is innate and something that we were born looking for.
Why was I born? Why? What is the special gift
that I have that I can do that nobody else
can do and that they can benefit from it? You know,
we're charitable beings. We want to do things that are
beneficial for others. That's the reason why we start businesses.

(46:59):
Right uh so, uh you know, in terms of being
able to just uh uh have greater well being, that
self actualization part of it and the ekey guy part
of it is absolutely essential. I'll tell you. There is
a lot of uh positive psychology studies based out of

(47:19):
University Pennsylvania or even the Oh have you guys taken
the Signs of well Being course from tell me.

Speaker 3 (47:31):
My phone?

Speaker 2 (47:31):
Is it online?

Speaker 4 (47:33):
Yes? It's online? Yeah. So, and I talk about this
in my book, I think, but no, I can't remember.
I can't remember what I wrote my book. So it's
called the Science of well Being. So this is a
this is a course that's been put together by doctor
Lori Santos. This is the most popular course in the
history of Yale University, and it's been around for you know,

(47:55):
the eel has been around for three hundred years. So
doctor Santos put the course together and essentially the students
that Yale would call this doctor Santos's Happiness Class, and
they also called it the hardest class at Yale. And
what I love about this particular course is that doctor
Santos takes us through these steps and just basically say,

(48:16):
whatever we think, whatever we believe in our feeble human brain,
that's going to bring us happiness. It's wrong. We are
very very bad at guessing what is going to bring
us happiness. And if I could summarize the course down
to down to just what the takeaways are without giving
it away, yeah, but you can just I Binge watched

(48:38):
it. It was like a.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
Through it.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, so doctor Santos says, ah, acts
of kindness, Yeah, massive impact on your base level well being.
If you can go out and do something that is
kind and that can lift somebody else's spear every day,
good God, that is a good thing for you. So, Oliver,

(49:02):
you know when you say you love to laugh and
you love to make people laugh and all that kind
of stuff, that's an act of kindness, my friend. That
is something that you're doing out of generosity. So that's
that impacts your overall overall well being. But they also
make things like you know, physical uh efforts obviously, walking, running,
doing doing that kind of stuff that boosts the endorphins
in your brain. There's things like, oh, the one that

(49:26):
really made me get excited is something called time affluence.
That means you're time rich. That means you do with
your time you want to.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
That's cool.

Speaker 4 (49:38):
Do you do with your time what you want to
do with your time? Lokate.

Speaker 3 (49:42):
I try, but the truth is.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
I never really can because someone's always bothering me. Okay,
So like I'll be like I don't want to be
disturbed for like three days, but something will happen for
a long time. Someone will call and I'll have to
do something, and I will never get Like I literally

(50:08):
have to literally shut my phone off.

Speaker 5 (50:11):
Let's start with three hours and then move from there
to three days, well like.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
A weekend, Like I'll never get a real weekend.

Speaker 2 (50:19):
You can choose to if.

Speaker 3 (50:21):
I turn my phone off. Yeah, I have to. I
have to actively like turn my phone off, Like I
literally have.

Speaker 4 (50:27):
To throw away.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
I need to like get in the only time like
if I was like in Jeff Besis is rocket ship.
It's like the only time no one could get ahold
of me. Even then it'd be like Madeline will be like,
can you just get to kate for five seconds a space.

Speaker 5 (50:43):
Like a space out the window, like pointing at like
some sort of thing.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
Like ablets exactly like an in bloom Like okay, clear.

Speaker 4 (51:01):
But yeah, well regardless with with with with this course,
uh the science of wellbeing. Uh. These are all studies
that have come out of the relatively new field of
positive psychology that basically says that, you know, instead of
just treating psychology isn't always just about treating mental illness,
it's also about increasing mental wellness. So positive psychology really

(51:23):
focuses on these types of things like, uh, you know,
time affluis, the acts of kindness, physical activities, connectedness with people,
and eeky guy. It plays a role in that because
it's helping you literally connect with your own self actualization
on a regular basis, just by naming it.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Yes, I love the simplicity of that because sometimes also
I think there's all these different things that we could
be doing, like even what you're saying in this course,
which by the way, I think everyone should be doing
things like that, but it's hard for people to focus.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
Their time and energy.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
You know, I find I by nature am optimistic, which
I know is very rare. But then there's moments where,
like you know, I find I find that the quote
I love the most is contentment is a discipline, like
optimism is something we need to work towards, Like it's
something we actually actively pursue. You know, our brains kind

(52:22):
of tend to do the opposite. And you just did
it right, instead of instead of focusing on the illness
of the brain, to focus on the wellness of the brain,
even that even the linguistic of that, the thought of
that is actually firing a more optimistic part of your brain.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
But then, ekey guy, the simplicity of it.

Speaker 1 (52:43):
I think for anyone to be able to actually center
in on one word, the active word for them to
pursue is kind of genius because you you know, it's
such a it doesn't complicate it too much, It doesn't
become complicated.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
You apply that to anything.

Speaker 5 (53:01):
Yeah, well, that's the beauty is its simplicity. I mean,
it really is.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
It's it's simple but difficult in the same in the
same sense.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
You know, I love that you went up into the
mountains and just got ordained as a monk.

Speaker 3 (53:13):
Can you just what we need to like unpack this
for a second?

Speaker 5 (53:17):
Were you like, did you just wake up in morning, like, Eh,
I'm going to Thailand.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
I'm going to become a monk?

Speaker 3 (53:22):
Where did this sort of yeah?

Speaker 4 (53:23):
Sort of yeah?

Speaker 3 (53:24):
So what so motivated?

Speaker 4 (53:27):
I'll be uh, I'll be perfectly honest with you. COVID
kicked my ass. And it wasn't the COVID illness. It
was all the stuff, the negativity that was built around it.
At the exact same time, as you might remember, there
was Black Lives Matter, and then there was stop Asian hate,
and then there was the anti Baxers, and there was
a certain orange president in the United States, and there

(53:48):
was all sorts of stuff that was happening. And when
you're alone in your house, doom scrolling becomes your only hobby, right,
And so I found myself really really getting down and
down and down, and it really affected me. I ended
up in the hospital a couple of times just with
mental unwellness, you know. And so with that, I decided

(54:13):
that I've always kind of leaned into Buddhism a little bit,
but I really leaned into it this time because I
knew that it was the only kind of island that
I could go and sit on and actually, you know,
drinking any wisdom. So I just started, you know, reading
some books and watching some videos online, and you know
how the algorithm works, So all of a sudden, there's
more monk videos, and there's more monk videos, and then

(54:35):
one day I got.

Speaker 1 (54:37):
Really sing you were just yeah.

Speaker 4 (54:40):
I was getting deeper and deeper, and one day a
video came on. It was this young man from California actually,
and he is an ordained monk in Thailand and his
name is lp Nick or lop Nick, which means brother.
And he went to this program, which is an international

(55:01):
ordainment program where men from around the world can come
and ordain in English in Thailand and Chang Mai, and
I went, ah, that sounds like absolute heaven. And so
I looked into it, and because of COVID it was
all shut down and whatnot. But I put my name
on the waiting list and as soon as it opened up,
they said would you like to come? And I said, yes,

(55:24):
I would love to come. So I went there in September.
We spent about eight days kind of learning different chants
and kind of learning the process and meditation of being
a monk. And then you literally fully ordain and leave
your entire past behind you and asked the whole world

(55:45):
for their forgiveness and for anything you've trespassed on in
this life or any life previously, and you literally just
take on the life of a monk where you meditate
four times a day and you learn the dama and
you find peace. Peace is possible with practice. That's what
I figured out.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
That's so amazing.

Speaker 5 (56:07):
So wait, so it's eight days, but then do you
stay longer? Then you come home and then you know
it's it's eight.

Speaker 4 (56:13):
Days to get to the ordainment, and then you stay
for the remainder of the month, so it's a thirty
day ordainment. This is the way that time in will
ordain usually once or twice or many times in their life.
Ninety three a tizer are Buddhists, but this is all
part of their own understanding and be able to kind of,

(56:34):
you know, live a good life so that they can
be good providers and be good people and whatnot. But
for North American men, as I am sure you can
attest Oliver, we don't get a lot of chances to
go and meditate or or ordain as a monk. Right,
I don't look good as a monk. You'd be great.

(56:54):
You'd shave off your eyebrows and have.

Speaker 3 (56:56):
To shave your eyebrows off. Yeah, you shave every thing.

Speaker 4 (57:01):
It's part of letting go your ego. Kate.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Wow. Coming back from North America, though, do you have now?
Are you living this life?

Speaker 5 (57:08):
I mean, have you sort of you know, asked for
that forgiveness and sort of to put your other life
behind you?

Speaker 4 (57:15):
Yes, I have, and I can I can say that
I've carried on with the meditation practices. When you leave
the monastery, you dis rope, so you hand your ropes
back in and you and you get the deposit of
your regular clothes back. But but coming back into you know,
North America and having that thing, it was very very

(57:37):
very noisy on the old noodle. But I can, I
can say that I've come back with such extraordinary lessons.
I'm literally just putting together the first kind of outline
for a new book. It's going to be called Part
Time Monk. That piece is possible with practice, cool and
and uh yeah, I'm going to outline all the different

(57:59):
learnings and all the different journeys that that happened leading
up to that whole monk experience. But that is that
is something that anybody can do. They can literally just
go to imonastery dot com and literally just say, hey,
this is something that'd be interested to do.

Speaker 3 (58:14):
Yeah, so interesting beca going for a month, Yeah.

Speaker 5 (58:16):
It'd be amazing to do. It's almost like called backyard monk,
like you can just like you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
Like, but it's also just that the excuse of really
like living that because that's a long time.

Speaker 3 (58:27):
I mean, that's not you know.

Speaker 5 (58:28):
It's a long time people who live, yes, you know,
but you're also gaining something that you know that you
never would have done that. Many people have dedicated their
entire lives too. But you can go there for thirty
days and really experience what.

Speaker 4 (58:41):
That is like.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
It's almost like every man. Every man should have to
be ordained as a monk. Every man should have take
opportunities in certain points of their lives, like early twenties,
like almost every decade.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
This is like the campaign you're running on if you
ran for president.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
Like every man, when you're twenty one, you're gonna have
your s stordain. No, but think about the difference where
you every decade, what you're bringing or what you've learned,
or what you're carrying, and then to like dis literally
dis row and and just find peace.

Speaker 4 (59:17):
Yeah. To you know, it's like if there was a
physical idea. Here's a jar of sparkles. Okay, this is
what you're like, this is what your life is like
every day. This is what being a monk does. And
this is what meditation does. You just put it down,
you make it still. That's the that's the entire exercise
of being right.

Speaker 3 (59:36):
There is where I want to live.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
I thought the sparkles was the good part. Like I
was like, yeah, I want that, but it's not.

Speaker 4 (59:44):
No, here's an interesting thing though, too, Like you start
moving it around a little bit in the daytime. Yeah,
and then and then all of a sudden the sparkles
start to hash up again and whatnot. But the interesting
thing is they might not be as mighty sparkles and
it takes less time to actually settle. Yes, So this
is just a little I love it. That's cool. I like
that's at the craft store. That's that's actually that's the

(01:00:06):
whole idea of of of of a peaceful I love
that existence.

Speaker 5 (01:00:12):
I think you could market this and sell this and
make billions of dollars. Like I'm just saying, like I
would love to have that thing as my own, like
actual physical thing to look at to calm your mind,
almost to calm your mind.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
I mean even just watching it settle as an effect.

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
True. And then when it got into that, I was
I am entered. I was in the middle of the sparkles.

Speaker 5 (01:00:36):
Right, yeah, when you were shaking, and I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
It slowed down all of a sudden, I saw myself
in the waters.

Speaker 5 (01:00:44):
I was like, oh, when it slowed down, I sort
of got I thought of mom an overboard with a
dream sequence when she's like looking up and like spitting
out on.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
New Year's Eve.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
So I have a couple more questions. When when you said,
you know, time, I even forgot the word because it's
an affluence time after affluence, Yeah, to be time affluent.
It kind of reminds me of something that I think
you also talk about in the book a little bit
which I want to cover, which is the difference between

(01:01:21):
like the important like how do you decipher when let
me put it this way, like there's sometimes like someone
like living their ekey guy.

Speaker 3 (01:01:29):
Let's say it, and you're you know, they're.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Like, yeah, man, like I'm living my life like I'm
living the ekey guy.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
And you're like, yeah, but you can't pay your bills.

Speaker 2 (01:01:38):
You're they're happy? Then who care?

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
Or but what if you're married to this person?

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
What if this is like you're what if this is
like your partner and you're like, you know, we are
our children.

Speaker 3 (01:01:50):
We can't even afford you know, the book, and I
need you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:54):
I get that you're happy living your life, but I
need you actually to have a job.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
I need you to go to work.

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
How do we decipher what the ekey guy is and
how to live that life purpose and actually.

Speaker 5 (01:02:06):
How to have some practical ekey practical practical e guy.

Speaker 4 (01:02:10):
Yeah. Yeah, uh so this is something that is a
bit of a head scratcher in terms of just uh,
you know, regular everyday people. Yeah, because we definitely want
to have the ability to be able to do what
we love and what we're good at, but we still
have that bottom half of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Right. Uh,
you know, part time ECHI guys is very reveal. You know,

(01:02:33):
there's there's no reasonon why. You know, I mentioned this
in my little ted talk that I did that you know,
we have we have one nine to five that we
deal with every day, but we have two five to nine,
So you know, we can do a lot in those
four hours in the morning, or we can do a
lot in those four hours afternoon, or maybe one in
the morning and three in the afternoon. I have a
I have a friend who is a doctor and I

(01:02:56):
I kind of think of as the ekey guy doctor
because doctor Scott Forsyth is this wonderful man who has
a family medicine practice, but he says, have a just
ferociously talented nature photographer. So when he wakes up in
the morning, the first thing he does is he does
all this photography stuff. He just loves diving in immersing

(01:03:16):
himself in all this photography stuff. And he works on
that specifically only until nine, sorry, only until noon, and
then he goes into his doctor's office and he's a
doctor for the rest of the day. Right, So eke
guy isn't something you have to do in your quote
unquote job hours per se. It's still something that is
important for you to do as just part of your life.

(01:03:38):
Doesn't have to be twenty four hours a day.

Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
I think that's a really important thing.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
It's like what you know, some of us call like
this side hustle, but it's not a hustle. It's just
a love you know, where you have things that you
love to do that aren't necessarily what's affording your life.

Speaker 4 (01:03:58):
Yeah, And people do those side hustles with one intention
or one hope in mind is that it becomes the
regular hustle, right right, Yeah, is that they can be
successful doing what it is they love to do, so
they can turn it into a full time hustle. So,
you know, bet on yourself as far as Iki guy
is concerned. If you do it two hours a day,

(01:04:19):
if you do one hour, if you do it ten minutes,
whatever the case.

Speaker 5 (01:04:22):
Yeah, but if you know what it is, then you
can just and if you're consistent with it, then it
changes sort of your every day, you know. And I
can feel that meaning I live in Los Angeles and
I rarely go to the beach, you know, and then
sometimes all go. I took the kids to the other
day and the sun was setting and were swimming in
the freezing water.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
I'm like, why don't why don't I come here all
the time. I love it. I mean, it makes me
feel good, but I don't do it.

Speaker 5 (01:04:47):
I was just gonna buy another boat, but it turns
out I have backed taxes.

Speaker 2 (01:04:53):
Anyway.

Speaker 5 (01:04:54):
So but like you know, getting having another boat, I
want to be consistent with it and get out on
the ocean at least three times a week because it
makes me feel good.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
Right, the things that make me feel good, I just
don't do enough. That's it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:10):
Well, And then I think the other thing is is
that the measurement of success, how you measure success is
really important because you know, I remember when Kurt said
to me when I.

Speaker 3 (01:05:19):
Was really young, why do you want to act?

Speaker 1 (01:05:23):
Because if my desire to act was to have what
was considered you know, whatever monetary success or success that
you know it brings fame or celebrity, if that was
the motivation, his concern was, I'd be miserable because it's

(01:05:43):
that is never going to make you happy as an actor,
because it's such a tumultuous, critical, rejecting career. And and
so like, what is the measure of success in what
we do?

Speaker 3 (01:05:56):
You know, it's it's never really going to be the dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:05:59):
So like even I sometimes think about that with you,
because you're like, oh, even if, even if you were
given said opportunity, I'm not so sure that's what would
bring you happiness as an Ever, as an actor, I'm
not so sure that that.

Speaker 5 (01:06:13):
I just haven't had that chance yet. But you might
be right, and you might be right.

Speaker 1 (01:06:18):
I think that feeling will come from you. You have
that feeling, you're just not pursuing that feeling anymore. You're
not pursuing the director, which is what right probably this.

Speaker 5 (01:06:29):
Is an eky guy moment only because right now it's
the way I make my money is being an actor.
That's the way I support my family and feed my kids,
you know what I mean. Sure, the directing part would
have to be that side hustle that takes a lot
of time to develop and do, which I think is coming.
You know, I feel like it's in my older age.

(01:06:49):
Once my kids get older, then you know, maybe i'd
have the capacity. But you know, we'll see. I don't know,
we'll see. My whole thing is this whole idea that
money doesn't buy you happiness.

Speaker 2 (01:07:00):
I don't believe it. I think money can give me
some happiness.

Speaker 5 (01:07:03):
I'm like, I say, I said to my mom all
the time, like I'm like I'm happy.

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
I like I've got an amazing security, amazing kids. Yeah,
it's like if you back the Brinks truck up.

Speaker 5 (01:07:13):
Oh my god, stresses will go away and I'll be
like I'm so happy right now.

Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
Yeah, people, I.

Speaker 3 (01:07:22):
Don't buy it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:22):
I think I would.

Speaker 1 (01:07:23):
I think if you, I think you would, I'm making
money panic attacks.

Speaker 4 (01:07:28):
And you know, I think most people really want in
life and I don't. I know your listeners won't be
able to see this.

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
But I think they want this right he's holding.

Speaker 4 (01:07:40):
I think they want just a really really peaceful, contented
life with one money. That's one thing, but but it
doesn't really bother me. This is this is kind of
called equanimity. That's a word that we use in Buddhism.
Equanimity is something basically just basically says you have the
calm and the wisdom that will that will allow you
to be able to use the space between the thought

(01:08:03):
and the reaction in a really really like peaceful, easy
going away.

Speaker 2 (01:08:09):
And that's water. Stress about things, that's just water and sequence.

Speaker 4 (01:08:14):
It's just it's just water and a little bit of
glacerin If you want the recipe and.

Speaker 2 (01:08:18):
I could sell. I want some gliter and something in there.

Speaker 4 (01:08:21):
You're gonna go home and take all the pickle jar
out of the fridge.

Speaker 2 (01:08:24):
And I like that thing, I really do. I'm gonna
copy you.

Speaker 3 (01:08:28):
Do you have any siblings, by the way, I do,
how many?

Speaker 4 (01:08:33):
I'm the baby. I have an older brother who is
about three years older than I am. He's adopted brother.
And then I have an older sister as well. She's
my half sister actually, And yeah, they all live here
in the same province as I do.

Speaker 1 (01:08:47):
Give us a little bit of history from where your
family came from and when they came to this to Canada.

Speaker 4 (01:08:54):
Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. So my grandfather and grandmother
were in a arrange marriage from Okinawa, and they came
from this very very very impossibly small set of island
called Hamahiga Island, just off the coast of the main
island of Okinawa, and I went there a couple of

(01:09:15):
years ago, and it's just it's absolutely impossible to think
that anybody could live there. But anyway, my grandfather immigrated
from Okinawa to Hawaii with his brother in the late
eighteen hundreds and they worked in the cane fields there
and he hated it because it was too much like Okinawa.
So my grandfather jumped on a boat and came to

(01:09:36):
Canada and he landed in Vancouver and he started living
in this little, tiny, small Japanese I think he could
probably call it like a Japanese kind of center called
Steveston in outside of Vancouver. And he was like doing
just the fisherman stuff and you know, basic things. And

(01:09:56):
then the First World War broke out and him and
these two one hundred and some Japanese men volunteered to
fight for the Canadian army in the First World War,
if you can believe that, And the people said, no,
you can't do that. Anyways, in time they said, yeah,
we need soldiers, so send over those Japanese guys. So
they all went and trained in Calgary here and then

(01:10:18):
they went off and fought in the First World War
two hundred and two. I think Japanese men imagine that
fightings for the Canadian Expeditionary Force. So anyway, I digress.
When my grandfather came back after the war, he was
allowed to purchase some land in Alberta to be a farmer,

(01:10:42):
and that's where his wife came and met him, and
they'd never met each other, if you can believe that,
he went and picked her up on a train in
Vancouver and brought her back to a farm. And they
had eleven kids, and my dad was a second I
guess so, and you're so your dad was my dad? Well, yeah,

(01:11:06):
my dad was was born in nineteen nineteen, what was it,
nineteen twenty three, and so, jeez, he'll be one hundred
years old next year. Well he died a few years ago.
But anyway, so him as a as a Japanese man,
he met my mom, who was who is mostly British

(01:11:28):
from what I understand, and they got together and my
mom came with my sister. My brother was adopted because
they didn't think they could get pregnant, and then right
after they adopted my brother, they had me.

Speaker 1 (01:11:42):
Yeah, oh cool, So you've always so Canada they came,
they came through Canada, and so so during internment, Canada
wasn't affected. All it was it was were your parents
It was turned.

Speaker 4 (01:11:57):
No because they had already they were already living inland.
So it was only the people on the coast that
were brought inland. Yeah. Yeah, that's a part of history,
I know.

Speaker 1 (01:12:08):
Terrible and not covered enough. Danny's fair, Danny's grandfather.

Speaker 3 (01:12:12):
And you were interned.

Speaker 1 (01:12:15):
Oh god, yeah, crazy right, and no one really talks
about it. It's not something Yeah, all right, So let's
so what is anything else that we want to know?

Speaker 5 (01:12:27):
But I'd like to maybe wrap it up with sort
of like a message to the people who are listening basically,
like number one is sort of when you start to
sort of discover your ekey guy, what does that feel like?

Speaker 2 (01:12:40):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (01:12:41):
Or what might what what might that bring upon as
far as what you're feeling in your life once you
start to do the things that you love to do.

Speaker 4 (01:12:50):
Uh, it feels like it just feels like you walk
out the door and you know and you have the
compass that knows exactly what your true north is. You know.
It's literally that that feeling, And if you're creative about it,
you can realize that there are a million different ways
that you can use your ekey guy, not only to
benefit yourself, but especially to benefit other people. That's the
real magic I think of eky guy is that once

(01:13:12):
you start seeing how people react to when you make
them laugh or when you make them feel like you're
fully immersed in with them or whatever the case. You
know that there's so many different ways that you can
do that, and people know that you're being true to
yourself and they go, Jesus, you're good at that. I
just I am so thankful that you brought that. You know.

Speaker 5 (01:13:32):
It's like, like, I don't know the ultimate gift really
and number one is and number one is to go
buy the book. Right, that's how to begin this all
because we gotta we got to. You gotta buy the book.
You gotta read because it's amazing. But but I would assume,
not assume, but maybe a great way to start for
someone who's trying to discover what their egy guy is
is to do exactly what you did with us, but

(01:13:53):
you can kind of do it with your own like
just really think about the things that you love, write
them down, and then find the common denominator.

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
Yeah, find the action, right.

Speaker 5 (01:14:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:14:02):
I love to do Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love to do. Yeah,
that's for sure. And I don't know if this is appropriate,
but I have a skill share course on do what
you love. Oh yeah, yeah, of course people want to
If people want to go to that, that'd be great,
of course, called do what you love and introduction to
Ekey Guy. So, and it's available on skill share right now.

Speaker 2 (01:14:22):
That's exactly what I was trying to get at. Perfect
perfect Well has been great. Thank you so much.

Speaker 4 (01:14:29):
I loved hanging out with you.

Speaker 1 (01:14:30):
This was fun, so fun, And thank you for your book.
It was really helpful for me.

Speaker 2 (01:14:35):
So yeah, I learned a lot.

Speaker 3 (01:14:36):
Appreciate it right now.

Speaker 4 (01:14:38):
I figure so thankful that you shared it with your family, Kate,
and that this is something that is meaningful to you.
I'm working on a different little kind of side project
right now. It's called Ekey Guy Income that is literally
based on that whole idea.

Speaker 2 (01:14:52):
Yeah, that's interest to make money off of your Ekey Guy.

Speaker 4 (01:14:59):
Yeah. Yeah, there's so many ways to do it, and
you have such a great personality to be able to
be making more contents that you can use that as
a tool as well. But thank you, guys. I'm so thankful.

Speaker 2 (01:15:10):
All right, Thank you, buddy, thank you, thank you guys.

Speaker 5 (01:15:15):
Sibling Revelry is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson.

Speaker 3 (01:15:19):
Producer is Alison.

Speaker 2 (01:15:20):
President, editor is Josh Wendish.

Speaker 1 (01:15:22):
Music by Mark Hudson aka Uncle Mark.

Speaker 2 (01:15:26):
If you want to show us some love, rate the show,
and leave us a review. This show is powered by
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