February 6, 2025 • 21 mins
Christine Taylor and Ben Stiller made headlines when they were on the brink of divorce.
Find out how the power couple avoided breaking up by breaking the rules.
Christine shares the real reason they are still married and why taking a break doesn't have to mean breaking up for good.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi am Kate Hudson, and my name is Oliver Hudson.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
We wanted to do something that highlighted our.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Relationship and what it's like to be siblings. We are
a sibling.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Raivalry, No, no, sibling. You don't do that with your mouth.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Revelry. That's good.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
And we're back for the second poor A Part two,
Part two of Christine Taylor Stiller. I like to call
her CTS CTS CTS. It was too good not to
make too.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
This is the best I love. I've talked to her
and and let's just yeah, let's.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Carry on, carry on, carry on.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
I love how open you guys were about like separating
and then coming back together, because I feel like it's
one of those things that a lot of people actually, yeah,
sometimes when they separate, their like I mean, my dream
is that we could have like a couple of years
figure it out, and then come back together. I kind
(01:26):
of feel like if I had a couple of years,
I'd be good to come back to this.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
It is, I mean, if it can all work out,
it's the fucking dream, right.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
It doesn't always all work out right, and sometimes it
is best. And like, I found it so fascinating that
you know, and it's just that thing where it just
still still keeps getting picked up, like if it comes
up in an interview in a way where it's almost
like I think people are like, wait are they are they?
Do they break up again? Are they back together again?
(01:55):
Because it kind of keeps coming up, But I do
feel like it is important to talk about because it's
also like I remember we had a therapist once, say,
the institution of marriage was formed when the average lifespan
was like thirty five, like people died very young.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Never thought about blames all of my relationship issues.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Right, Kate?
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Is revelatory? Is that a word?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
If it is not, but.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
This is called revel Yeah sibly revel we thought, right,
so like divorcing.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Were just yeah, but it's true. It's like it's really
like nobody was meant to be together, like long term
relationships like decades worth.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Yeahs.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Never it was never gonna.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Happen like a hard ten and you're out, and.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
They got like.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
That's the way to do it.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Wait, wait, it's so funny that we're saying this because
it's also like on top of that travel, what like
what your life looked like like you didn't like call
each other or text each other five seconds, like if
you left be like, I'm if you lived in England,
You're like, darling, I must go to Paris.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
It would be like a week and a half to
even get that.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Forget about forget about that. You know, these these these
these sailors would be like, Bay, I'm going to work
and seeing two and.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
A half you get years She's like, okay, honey, like
have a great time.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Don't let this just go down right?
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Yeah, And it's you know, I'm sure that that also, like,
you know, you're living alone a lot of the time,
which is probably kind of nice.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
You're not like always with that person. You know, you
get to write them a letter.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
You're like, the children have been killing.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
If you get married and not beat with each other,
that would be amazing. The children, the children, And I.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Do, yes, I do feel like, yes, there was growth.
Like I've said it, I'm repeating myself. I said it
in an interview already, but I really do feel like
as adults we also still have growth spurts the way
kids do, like you know, every however, I think I
think I read something where it was like every seven
(04:21):
years there's a new right and you.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
I thought those allergies. I thought every seven years you
might get like develop allergies.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I might have gotten it wrong.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Forget that.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I literally just came from Drew doing Drew Barrymore show,
and the whole thing was it was a Valentine episode
and was love and relationships, and we talked about sort
of how you were a constantly and always evolving as
a human, right right.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
That's the hope. You don't want to stay stuck right right,
you know? And I do think people who are seeking
to evolve, you know, who go to therapy, who talk
about stuff, like talking about stuff really hard. It took
me a lot. I came my family, like I said,
you know, Catholic, there wasn't a lot of talking about
(05:08):
everything growing up, really truly. And I think my parents
had us very young and they did their best. But
that gets really ingrained in you, so like feeling protective
of well, I I don't if I say this, are
they going to reject me?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Like is it? You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Like it's very hard to open up kids. Well, I
think they.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Were communicated to them in a way that they could
understand it.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Yes, of course, of course. And it was all but
it was also like hard for them. I mean it's
really hard, Like I feel like it was. It shattered
them in a way that I think, you know. And
then even the coming back too was also sort.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Of like.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
So cute though I would love to know their perspective
on something like that, like that must feel like such
an accomplishment.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Yeah, And thing about it too is like in this
world that we're in, when it becomes so public, that's
just the rub. That's just the rub where it's sort
of like people are reading about it or friends are
commenting on it, and so it's not as private or
as like intimate as you would like it to be.
But I do, I do feel like they.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
And also it was COVID.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
That's the other thing too, because I think we were
back together longer than people knew because nobody was out,
nobody was doing anything, and it kind of came back
together and evolved naturally for us, but with a lot
of work, with a lot of therapy, with a lot
of talking, with a lot of looking at our stuff
and really learning how to communicate together better and also
(06:47):
communicate what our needs were separately better.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Yeah, you know, so was it a slow coming back together?
Meaning like all right, or let's give this a shot again,
or was it just kind of organically naturally fall back
into that place but it's better.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Yeah, well I think it was slow, but but in
a weird way. We were all under the same roof
because of COVID. So it was like we.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Were like, let's have a glass of wine.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Were all together all the time, let's play scrabble, like
a lot of movie watching a lot of light, and then.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Right some sort of a show that.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
So it was, yes, it's not it's a very unique COVID.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
And I was like, maybe you know, Matt and I
could have a very nice, like interconnected family, Like I
love his wife, I love Matt, I love my part
My partner and Matt love each other, Like we live
together with each other.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Like why don't we all get married, Why don't we
just do one big?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
They did. The Hudsons did COVID very well. My family
was my specific family. It was built for COVID, my kids.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
My wife, don't even get me story. I would not
let him in my house. I was like, you're gonna
give me COVID.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
You're like, I'm like, we had the neighbor there's we
had a beautiful neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
All he had was drinking beers.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Like there's this line I have in Glass Onion where
I'm like having a party and they're like, is that
are you having a party.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I'm like, they're in my pod? And it's like that
line for me was Oliver.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I'd call Oliver and I'd be like, who the fuck
are you talking to?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
He's like, they're in my pod.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Like the biggest pod was a neighborhood, have like eight
hundred people in my house?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Like yeah, but if you think back, like we were
leaving our groceries out for like four weeks, then you know,
I was like, what the fuck are we doing? The
groceries are literally sitting outside, So I guess the COVID
would just shed off of it.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Exactly dissipates just.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Three days.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Ah, I was gonna say, And I know it's tough
for the kids and all that, but you know the
fact that you are a public about it, you probably
helping so many people that you don't even realize, you
know what I'm saying, Like, there are probably so many
people who are having questions about their relationship and might
(09:23):
need that break, and then watching it work is inspirational
to a lot of people. I'm sure.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
I mean that was.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Maybe not your intention. No, that's the byproduct.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
I feel like that made me happy to hear, Like
I always I kept saying to people, I was like,
why is this such big news to people? Like I
was self conscious about it in a way, And everyone's like,
because it's actually just nice to hear good news, Like
it's nice when you hear stories like that, and you know,
like interestingly, during COVID, Ben started working on a documentary
(09:56):
about his parents, who were you know, married fifty plus
years but worked together as a comedy team throughout that marriage,
and Ben's dad kept document like he has aside from
just their public the documentation of them on all the
shows that they did and the talk shows and all
(10:17):
of that sort of public information. Jerry still carried around
a cassette recorder everywhere he went for his entire life,
so like when we had the when they would come
over at the kids, he'd put the cassette player on
the table and just talk and listen. And so he
has recordings of he and Anne in their thirties working
(10:40):
on their act and getting in arguments about it and
this like and the documentary, which is you know, Ben's
just getting just I mean it's now almost four years later,
just finishing up, and it's so beautiful because it's really
this It didn't even start. It almost started as him
kind of putting together what he had hoped was maybe
like a love letter to them and a way to
(11:01):
honor them and kind of assemble all of this. And
what's really evolved out of it is this this sort
of love story that is very layered and very not
as perfect as it looked, you know, like a lot
of challenges behind the scenes and difficulties in their fears.
(11:23):
It's really really, really beautiful and back in the day,
and I know Ben talked about this recently on the
talk show, but like people would go on those talk
shows and like talk about this stuff. Yeah, like on
Mike Douglass or like they would really get into these
long discussions, you know, similar to a podcast, but it
was televised and they were all smoking cigarettes and everybody
(11:45):
was talking about like, you know, we're in therapy and
now Jerry's doing that like real open raw stuff and
so so it's just a it's really interesting, I think agreed, agreed,
it's just I think just for us to like have
seen that now in the form of this documentary which
(12:07):
people will hopefully see soon, but that relationship and just
how sort of things, just how similar things can be.
Like you always say, I'm never going to do that
because my parents, I saw that that happened. I'm going
to break that. And you find that it's not as
black and white.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
You know, it's like, god damn it, it's very laired.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
It's all very layered.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
During a separation, is there is it?
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Is there freedom?
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Is there a feel of a feeling of freedom?
Speaker 4 (12:41):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Like, what is that? I mean, well, was there weight
that gets lifted off of your shoulders for the time being?
Speaker 4 (12:47):
It's a lot. I mean, it's very emotional. I think
it's a it's a letting go in a way and
sort of for me being able to I love how
you guys are both like, tell me more about this,
but no. But I think for for us, we were
always co parenting, we were always together. I mean, my
kids were still fairly young, so I was still very
(13:09):
just in being the mom and being present and you know,
but it was for me a period of time I
think because I had you know, been in relationships and
dated people and then got married at twenty eight and
was like, and I know you were super young, Pate, Like,
I'm like, who am I now?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
As an adult?
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Like without another person that like, I can dig deeper
and look deeper into me. And I think that was
just like hugely important for me.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Ah, I remember the time that I was like, I
made the conscious choice to say, I'm the only common
denominator and I'm very fern story than yours, but the
(14:01):
only common denominator in the failures of these relationships and
failures a choice to use.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
But that that the that that that.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Whatever it is that I'm doing is is the real
is the thing I.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Need to I need to look at right.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
If I don't figure that out, I will I will
repeat it, beating my head against this wall over and
over and over again. And I remember when I went
into like intensive therapy, uh and and and then I
kind of had this like crazy uncomfortable moment for a while.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Where I was like, because he made me do all
this stuff like not text boys and I couldn't have sex.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I remember that, yeah, yeah, and I was like wow.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I was literally like I hate this.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
It was like it was like just let me like
smile at a boy, you know, but now that was
at the table.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
But I went through this like process of.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Like profound uncomfortable, like like almost like no mojo, no sexuality,
no nothing. I felt like dead inside. And then and
then slowly but surely through the therapy process, I kind
of came out on the other end of it, and
I remember thinking, oh, I love being alone. I am
(15:33):
so happy right like with my kids in my space,
I'm content. And then when I started reintegrating in what
would it be like relationships or flirtation or anything like that,
my experience to them was completely different because I'd never
taken time to myself. I'd always been in a relationship
(15:55):
and I'd never been like alone with myself.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yes, and it was.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
It was so like like talk about those seven years
whatever that moment was, you know, of like a complete
shift of personal.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Back to the allergies.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
It's an allergy caught up. Yeah, so I got you,
I got I got you.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
A better way. But taking time to be alone is
actually incredible, an incredible thing because you really do realize,
like what are those things that you want?
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Yeah, and how can you get it from yourself instead
of from another person, because it's so easy to feel
affirmed when oh they like me, or this feels good.
If it's good, it's I feel needed. I feel like
that that is defining me. And suddenly when you are alone,
you're alone, and it's you realize you gotta find it
from I mean, this is so you gotta a sad job.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Guys, it's an in sad.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Job, but you are. We are doctors, but it's not professional.
We're doctors of our own spirits and we can then
that wisdom as other people.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
It's also you forget sometimes when you're in a relationship
for a long time that you don't ever want to
take away someone's independent life experience that there that just
because you're a unit doesn't mean that that person doesn't
have their own individual desires and needs to have their
(17:29):
to have their life experience.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
It's funny, it's like the second to ask you that question,
you know, maybe too deep, but like we're probing, but
do you feel like you sacrificed a lot of your career,
of who you are, of everything because of the career
that Ben had, what you had to do in that relationship.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
I think now it's interesting because I remember making those
decisions along the way at the time and feeling like
I took real ownership of that. But I think Kate
really hit on something is there was still something about
just sort of the feeling of being a unit that
you still had to compromise or get, you know. And
(18:09):
and I I take, like you said, I looked at
the common denominator of like here I am saying like
I'm doing everything for the family, and we're you know,
we're trying to stay together as a family union. But
I also there were times where I think I wasn't
able to even know that about myself, to be able
to even articulate it, because when you're in it in
(18:31):
such a big way with two little kids and a family,
and my my brother lived next door, my mom was close,
and you're in it so much and you're just kind
of going day to day that you're not even taking
a minute to think.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
What.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Is this the right decision?
Speaker 3 (18:46):
You know?
Speaker 4 (18:46):
And I do think like when we made the decision
to move back east, which was like a you know,
a big, big family decision, like thirteen or so years ago,
that was that. And I remember too also saying like
nothing is forever, like we can try this and see
you know what I mean, as hard as it is,
(19:07):
because I loved my life there, like you talked about LA,
Like all of my friends were there, our kids' friends
were there. It was a really hard thing even though
our families were East Coast based and and I just
I but I think it just took being away from
it a bit and doing my own work to get
to the point where I feel like, yeah, now I
(19:27):
can look at so some of those things and say like, oh,
I just didn't really like I couldn't articulate because I
didn't even know.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
And now you're it's also like you can't do this again,
deal with the devil.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Our mom Our mom always says sometimes you got to
stop before you react and ask yourself if you do
it without them? M Because like I get into that
habit sometimes of being like I'm doing this and I'm kids,
(20:03):
and then my mom's like, you do it without him?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
And I'm like that's a good point, actually.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Like I like, do you really want him to? I mean,
And I'm like, oh, I never thought of it, Like right,
mm hmmm, I would, You're right, I would. It's like
you you have these expectations of what like everything's supposed
to be and look like and how they're supposed to
take this part because they're your partner. And then you're like,
(20:29):
if you change the perspective, it's sort of like it's
a good reminder of like, wait, I'd be doing this anyway.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I just I just wish we could all be free
and wild and just run.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Around like crazy. Nobody is stopping.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Make it, nobody, make it, make it right.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
I do the Ella every morning, naked an og just
like pure freedom, like running around like yeah, it is
is fun, like no feeling.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
All right, we gotta wrap allie, you gotta flay, okay,
you guys.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Oh, this is so much fun, big bear hugs, so
much fun, so much fun.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
When we come East Coast, I'm gonna hit you up.
We have to please.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
I know, we say it every time.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
You might be coming here, right, I mean yeah, yeah,
we're I'm in Toronto for six weeks, but I'll be
coming to New York a time, all right, Well, good.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Luck with yes, good luck with that. I will find
us in New York. And I love you guys, thank you, Yeah,
I love you
Hi am Kate Hudson, and my name is Oliver Hudson.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
We wanted to do something that highlighted our.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Relationship and what it's like to be siblings. We are
a sibling.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Raivalry, No, no, sibling. You don't do that with your mouth.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Revelry. That's good.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
And we're back for the second poor A Part two,
Part two of Christine Taylor Stiller. I like to call
her CTS CTS CTS. It was too good not to
make too.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
This is the best I love. I've talked to her
and and let's just yeah, let's.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Carry on, carry on, carry on.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
I love how open you guys were about like separating
and then coming back together, because I feel like it's
one of those things that a lot of people actually, yeah,
sometimes when they separate, their like I mean, my dream
is that we could have like a couple of years
figure it out, and then come back together. I kind
(01:26):
of feel like if I had a couple of years,
I'd be good to come back to this.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
It is, I mean, if it can all work out,
it's the fucking dream, right.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
It doesn't always all work out right, and sometimes it
is best. And like, I found it so fascinating that
you know, and it's just that thing where it just
still still keeps getting picked up, like if it comes
up in an interview in a way where it's almost
like I think people are like, wait are they are they?
Do they break up again? Are they back together again?
(01:55):
Because it kind of keeps coming up, But I do
feel like it is important to talk about because it's
also like I remember we had a therapist once, say,
the institution of marriage was formed when the average lifespan
was like thirty five, like people died very young.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Never thought about blames all of my relationship issues.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Right, Kate?
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Is revelatory? Is that a word?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
If it is not, but.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
This is called revel Yeah sibly revel we thought, right,
so like divorcing.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Were just yeah, but it's true. It's like it's really
like nobody was meant to be together, like long term
relationships like decades worth.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Yeahs.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Never it was never gonna.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Happen like a hard ten and you're out, and.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
They got like.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
That's the way to do it.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Wait, wait, it's so funny that we're saying this because
it's also like on top of that travel, what like
what your life looked like like you didn't like call
each other or text each other five seconds, like if
you left be like, I'm if you lived in England,
You're like, darling, I must go to Paris.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
It would be like a week and a half to
even get that.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Forget about forget about that. You know, these these these
these sailors would be like, Bay, I'm going to work
and seeing two and.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
A half you get years She's like, okay, honey, like
have a great time.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Don't let this just go down right?
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Yeah, And it's you know, I'm sure that that also, like,
you know, you're living alone a lot of the time,
which is probably kind of nice.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
You're not like always with that person. You know, you
get to write them a letter.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
You're like, the children have been killing.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
If you get married and not beat with each other,
that would be amazing. The children, the children, And I.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Do, yes, I do feel like, yes, there was growth.
Like I've said it, I'm repeating myself. I said it
in an interview already, but I really do feel like
as adults we also still have growth spurts the way
kids do, like you know, every however, I think I
think I read something where it was like every seven
(04:21):
years there's a new right and you.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
I thought those allergies. I thought every seven years you
might get like develop allergies.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I might have gotten it wrong.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Forget that.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I literally just came from Drew doing Drew Barrymore show,
and the whole thing was it was a Valentine episode
and was love and relationships, and we talked about sort
of how you were a constantly and always evolving as
a human, right right.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
That's the hope. You don't want to stay stuck right right,
you know? And I do think people who are seeking
to evolve, you know, who go to therapy, who talk
about stuff, like talking about stuff really hard. It took
me a lot. I came my family, like I said,
you know, Catholic, there wasn't a lot of talking about
(05:08):
everything growing up, really truly. And I think my parents
had us very young and they did their best. But
that gets really ingrained in you, so like feeling protective
of well, I I don't if I say this, are
they going to reject me?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Like is it? You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Like it's very hard to open up kids. Well, I
think they.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Were communicated to them in a way that they could
understand it.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Yes, of course, of course. And it was all but
it was also like hard for them. I mean it's
really hard, Like I feel like it was. It shattered
them in a way that I think, you know. And
then even the coming back too was also sort.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Of like.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
So cute though I would love to know their perspective
on something like that, like that must feel like such
an accomplishment.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Yeah, And thing about it too is like in this
world that we're in, when it becomes so public, that's
just the rub. That's just the rub where it's sort
of like people are reading about it or friends are
commenting on it, and so it's not as private or
as like intimate as you would like it to be.
But I do, I do feel like they.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
And also it was COVID.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
That's the other thing too, because I think we were
back together longer than people knew because nobody was out,
nobody was doing anything, and it kind of came back
together and evolved naturally for us, but with a lot
of work, with a lot of therapy, with a lot
of talking, with a lot of looking at our stuff
and really learning how to communicate together better and also
(06:47):
communicate what our needs were separately better.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Yeah, you know, so was it a slow coming back together?
Meaning like all right, or let's give this a shot again,
or was it just kind of organically naturally fall back
into that place but it's better.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Yeah, well I think it was slow, but but in
a weird way. We were all under the same roof
because of COVID. So it was like we.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Were like, let's have a glass of wine.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Were all together all the time, let's play scrabble, like
a lot of movie watching a lot of light, and then.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Right some sort of a show that.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
So it was, yes, it's not it's a very unique COVID.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
And I was like, maybe you know, Matt and I
could have a very nice, like interconnected family, Like I
love his wife, I love Matt, I love my part
My partner and Matt love each other, Like we live
together with each other.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Like why don't we all get married, Why don't we
just do one big?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
They did. The Hudsons did COVID very well. My family
was my specific family. It was built for COVID, my kids.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
My wife, don't even get me story. I would not
let him in my house. I was like, you're gonna
give me COVID.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
You're like, I'm like, we had the neighbor there's we
had a beautiful neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
All he had was drinking beers.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Like there's this line I have in Glass Onion where
I'm like having a party and they're like, is that
are you having a party.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I'm like, they're in my pod? And it's like that
line for me was Oliver.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I'd call Oliver and I'd be like, who the fuck
are you talking to?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
He's like, they're in my pod.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Like the biggest pod was a neighborhood, have like eight
hundred people in my house?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Like yeah, but if you think back, like we were
leaving our groceries out for like four weeks, then you know,
I was like, what the fuck are we doing? The
groceries are literally sitting outside, So I guess the COVID
would just shed off of it.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Exactly dissipates just.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Three days.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Ah, I was gonna say, And I know it's tough
for the kids and all that, but you know the
fact that you are a public about it, you probably
helping so many people that you don't even realize, you
know what I'm saying, Like, there are probably so many
people who are having questions about their relationship and might
(09:23):
need that break, and then watching it work is inspirational
to a lot of people. I'm sure.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
I mean that was.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Maybe not your intention. No, that's the byproduct.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
I feel like that made me happy to hear, Like
I always I kept saying to people, I was like,
why is this such big news to people? Like I
was self conscious about it in a way, And everyone's like,
because it's actually just nice to hear good news, Like
it's nice when you hear stories like that, and you know,
like interestingly, during COVID, Ben started working on a documentary
(09:56):
about his parents, who were you know, married fifty plus
years but worked together as a comedy team throughout that marriage,
and Ben's dad kept document like he has aside from
just their public the documentation of them on all the
shows that they did and the talk shows and all
(10:17):
of that sort of public information. Jerry still carried around
a cassette recorder everywhere he went for his entire life,
so like when we had the when they would come
over at the kids, he'd put the cassette player on
the table and just talk and listen. And so he
has recordings of he and Anne in their thirties working
(10:40):
on their act and getting in arguments about it and
this like and the documentary, which is you know, Ben's
just getting just I mean it's now almost four years later,
just finishing up, and it's so beautiful because it's really
this It didn't even start. It almost started as him
kind of putting together what he had hoped was maybe
like a love letter to them and a way to
(11:01):
honor them and kind of assemble all of this. And
what's really evolved out of it is this this sort
of love story that is very layered and very not
as perfect as it looked, you know, like a lot
of challenges behind the scenes and difficulties in their fears.
(11:23):
It's really really, really beautiful and back in the day,
and I know Ben talked about this recently on the
talk show, but like people would go on those talk
shows and like talk about this stuff. Yeah, like on
Mike Douglass or like they would really get into these
long discussions, you know, similar to a podcast, but it
was televised and they were all smoking cigarettes and everybody
(11:45):
was talking about like, you know, we're in therapy and
now Jerry's doing that like real open raw stuff and
so so it's just a it's really interesting, I think agreed, agreed,
it's just I think just for us to like have
seen that now in the form of this documentary which
(12:07):
people will hopefully see soon, but that relationship and just
how sort of things, just how similar things can be.
Like you always say, I'm never going to do that
because my parents, I saw that that happened. I'm going
to break that. And you find that it's not as
black and white.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
You know, it's like, god damn it, it's very laired.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
It's all very layered.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
During a separation, is there is it?
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Is there freedom?
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Is there a feel of a feeling of freedom?
Speaker 4 (12:41):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Like, what is that? I mean, well, was there weight
that gets lifted off of your shoulders for the time being?
Speaker 4 (12:47):
It's a lot. I mean, it's very emotional. I think
it's a it's a letting go in a way and
sort of for me being able to I love how
you guys are both like, tell me more about this,
but no. But I think for for us, we were
always co parenting, we were always together. I mean, my
kids were still fairly young, so I was still very
(13:09):
just in being the mom and being present and you know,
but it was for me a period of time I
think because I had you know, been in relationships and
dated people and then got married at twenty eight and
was like, and I know you were super young, Pate, Like,
I'm like, who am I now?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
As an adult?
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Like without another person that like, I can dig deeper
and look deeper into me. And I think that was
just like hugely important for me.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Ah, I remember the time that I was like, I
made the conscious choice to say, I'm the only common
denominator and I'm very fern story than yours, but the
(14:01):
only common denominator in the failures of these relationships and
failures a choice to use.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
But that that the that that that.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Whatever it is that I'm doing is is the real
is the thing I.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Need to I need to look at right.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
If I don't figure that out, I will I will
repeat it, beating my head against this wall over and
over and over again. And I remember when I went
into like intensive therapy, uh and and and then I
kind of had this like crazy uncomfortable moment for a while.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Where I was like, because he made me do all
this stuff like not text boys and I couldn't have sex.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I remember that, yeah, yeah, and I was like wow.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I was literally like I hate this.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
It was like it was like just let me like
smile at a boy, you know, but now that was
at the table.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
But I went through this like process of.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Like profound uncomfortable, like like almost like no mojo, no sexuality,
no nothing. I felt like dead inside. And then and
then slowly but surely through the therapy process, I kind
of came out on the other end of it, and
I remember thinking, oh, I love being alone. I am
(15:33):
so happy right like with my kids in my space,
I'm content. And then when I started reintegrating in what
would it be like relationships or flirtation or anything like that,
my experience to them was completely different because I'd never
taken time to myself. I'd always been in a relationship
(15:55):
and I'd never been like alone with myself.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yes, and it was.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
It was so like like talk about those seven years
whatever that moment was, you know, of like a complete
shift of personal.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Back to the allergies.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
It's an allergy caught up. Yeah, so I got you,
I got I got you.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
A better way. But taking time to be alone is
actually incredible, an incredible thing because you really do realize,
like what are those things that you want?
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Yeah, and how can you get it from yourself instead
of from another person, because it's so easy to feel
affirmed when oh they like me, or this feels good.
If it's good, it's I feel needed. I feel like
that that is defining me. And suddenly when you are alone,
you're alone, and it's you realize you gotta find it
from I mean, this is so you gotta a sad job.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Guys, it's an in sad.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Job, but you are. We are doctors, but it's not professional.
We're doctors of our own spirits and we can then
that wisdom as other people.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
It's also you forget sometimes when you're in a relationship
for a long time that you don't ever want to
take away someone's independent life experience that there that just
because you're a unit doesn't mean that that person doesn't
have their own individual desires and needs to have their
(17:29):
to have their life experience.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
It's funny, it's like the second to ask you that question,
you know, maybe too deep, but like we're probing, but
do you feel like you sacrificed a lot of your career,
of who you are, of everything because of the career
that Ben had, what you had to do in that relationship.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
I think now it's interesting because I remember making those
decisions along the way at the time and feeling like
I took real ownership of that. But I think Kate
really hit on something is there was still something about
just sort of the feeling of being a unit that
you still had to compromise or get, you know. And
(18:09):
and I I take, like you said, I looked at
the common denominator of like here I am saying like
I'm doing everything for the family, and we're you know,
we're trying to stay together as a family union. But
I also there were times where I think I wasn't
able to even know that about myself, to be able
to even articulate it, because when you're in it in
(18:31):
such a big way with two little kids and a family,
and my my brother lived next door, my mom was close,
and you're in it so much and you're just kind
of going day to day that you're not even taking
a minute to think.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
What.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Is this the right decision?
Speaker 3 (18:46):
You know?
Speaker 4 (18:46):
And I do think like when we made the decision
to move back east, which was like a you know,
a big, big family decision, like thirteen or so years ago,
that was that. And I remember too also saying like
nothing is forever, like we can try this and see
you know what I mean, as hard as it is,
(19:07):
because I loved my life there, like you talked about LA,
Like all of my friends were there, our kids' friends
were there. It was a really hard thing even though
our families were East Coast based and and I just
I but I think it just took being away from
it a bit and doing my own work to get
to the point where I feel like, yeah, now I
(19:27):
can look at so some of those things and say like, oh,
I just didn't really like I couldn't articulate because I
didn't even know.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
And now you're it's also like you can't do this again,
deal with the devil.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Our mom Our mom always says sometimes you got to
stop before you react and ask yourself if you do
it without them? M Because like I get into that
habit sometimes of being like I'm doing this and I'm kids,
(20:03):
and then my mom's like, you do it without him?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
And I'm like that's a good point, actually.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Like I like, do you really want him to? I mean,
And I'm like, oh, I never thought of it, Like right,
mm hmmm, I would, You're right, I would. It's like
you you have these expectations of what like everything's supposed
to be and look like and how they're supposed to
take this part because they're your partner. And then you're like,
(20:29):
if you change the perspective, it's sort of like it's
a good reminder of like, wait, I'd be doing this anyway.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I just I just wish we could all be free
and wild and just run.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Around like crazy. Nobody is stopping.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Make it, nobody, make it, make it right.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
I do the Ella every morning, naked an og just
like pure freedom, like running around like yeah, it is
is fun, like no feeling.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
All right, we gotta wrap allie, you gotta flay, okay,
you guys.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Oh, this is so much fun, big bear hugs, so
much fun, so much fun.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
When we come East Coast, I'm gonna hit you up.
We have to please.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
I know, we say it every time.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
You might be coming here, right, I mean yeah, yeah,
we're I'm in Toronto for six weeks, but I'll be
coming to New York a time, all right, Well, good.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Luck with yes, good luck with that. I will find
us in New York. And I love you guys, thank you, Yeah,
I love you
Hosts And Creators
Oliver Hudson
Kate Hudson
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