August 5, 2025 • 28 mins
What does it take to stay as healthy, spry, and sexy as The Old Gays? Turns out, it’s a glorious mix of daily habits, earned wisdom...and a whole lotta doctor’s appointments.
In this week’s spirited episode, our four fab fellas share their perspective on health, aging, and getting real about what it means to care for your body, mind, and dignity as the years go by.
Which Old Gay is color-coding his to-do lists? Who’s flossing like their life depends on it? And who has tried the weirdest health product? From hair loss and colonoscopies to anxiety and fitness routines, this group check-up is a heartfelt love letter to the joys of growing older in the one body you’ve got.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Ruby.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
When you're younger, you feel like you're intensive.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Eighteen.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
You know you're not the only Gemini in the room,
and you're not the only one who makes.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Lift from just beyond the lights of Los Angeles and
Steamye Palm Springs, California. It's Mick Robert Bill just say,
and this is still lighting with the old days.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Welcome back, kids. It has been said that with age
comes wisdom.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
And joint pain. Don't forget the joint pain.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
I think Eliah said it best. Age ain't nothing but
a number.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
We're here to talk health, aging and taking care of ourselves.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
And how we're still turning heads wherever we go.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Okay, boys, let's dive right in. What does the concept
of health mean to you these days? How has it
changed over the years.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Well, for me, I think about health a whole lot
more than I did when I was in my twenties.
I didn't even pay attention to my doctor's advice often. Well,
when I was in my twenties, the only doctors that
I remember going to were my dentist and my eye doctor.
(01:48):
But today I have annual visits with my retina specialist,
my vascular specialist, a dermatologist, my psychiatry, and I have
two physicals a year, and since I was fifty years old,
I've had five cholonostopes, and I also do yoga.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Well babies, Boy, that's a mouthful for real. All we
do is spend our lives at doctors.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Now it's almost as taking medications.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Our doctors point it is.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Well when we're trying to get together, it's turning out
to be a real hassle because the doctor's appointments just
pop up.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Everywhere, and they do come first, yes.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
They do, because it's hard to get an appointment with
a lot of doctors.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Well, I looked up the word health and this is
based on Who's definition. Health is a state of complete physical, medical,
and social well being beyond the absence of disease and infirmity.
You know, one of the things I wish I measured
(03:05):
for self sufficiency is whether I can clean my bathroom
and wash the dishes, shower and dress myself and make dinner.
So what I have been taught is establish a baseline
by which we can measure what is improvement from what
(03:25):
is a stable state, and that that transition into thriving.
You know, you pursue that success. You have a purpose
in life. Bob often talks about having a passion for
his work and also general feelings of wellbeing. Bill likes
to talk about his yoga in between his colonosopes.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
So, and I think we've all managed to incorporate our
different healthcare routines into our lives in a white that
enabled us to all pursue our own individual interests.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
I take particular attention now to when I go get
a physical I read all of the things that they
have and now I take my chart very seriously.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, I think it's pretty clear from all of our
conversations that we're much more conscious about our health than
we were when we were younger and infallible. But I
know that for me, I have tried to incorporate activity
(04:45):
very purposely into my life, and most recently, something I
think that is terribly important is massage. I get a
massage every week now, and I talk to the massage
(05:06):
therapist about what he is doing in terms of breaking
up the granules that accumulate in your body in different
places due to the stresses that you face, and how
he moves it through my body, and I could just
(05:28):
feel the bad stuff oozing out of my body.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I guess I have the same experienced training, Yeah, which
is why it's so addictive for me. Also the little endorphins.
It's a great rush in a high, and I enjoy
that at times when life is really hard and it's
a struggle, you know that you can put yourself in
a position of discipline and strength and to actually accomplish
(05:59):
something in like an hour. That has been my rock.
This is from the perspective of somebody who has been
lifting weight since he was fifteen years old, and I'm
sixty nine now, and so it's a way for me
to get through many, many, many trying days even now.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
And another thing that I have become very conscious of
in my older years is how important sleep is.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Yeah, because if I don't have a good night's sleep,
I'm not going to have a good next day, that's
for sure.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And looking back on my younger days, when a lot
of the time I get filed three or four hours
of sleep because I was out partying the night before
and I had to get to work early the next day,
and I don't see.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
How I did it, or no sleep at all.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Our younger listeners are laughing and thinking, oh fun, this
is what I have to look forward to sleep, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
And that's great.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah, I like I knew guys when I first came out.
He used to go to New York and party for
forty eight hours straight. Dang, and then come home to
Minneapolis and crash for the rest of the week for real. Yeah,
for the rest of the week, for the rest of
the week.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
See. I always wanted to do that when I was younger,
but I would fall asleep. I'm not an all night
person except on vacations and cruises. And I'm a walker.
I actually walk, even in this weather, twice a day.
Oh yeah. I get out at ten o'clock at night
and then at six in the morning or six thirty.
(07:50):
But then I go back to pied.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yeah, we're already into daily maintenance.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
So well, okay, go ahead, Meg with your daily maintenance.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
What's the daily habit that you swear by now you
never cared about when you were younger.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
For me, one of the things that I find very
calming that will bring chaos to a controlled state is
making lists. Makes fun of me and accuses me of
being a Gemini about my list, But I truly keep
(08:38):
on my computer a spreadsheet of my master to do lists,
which is grouped by major categories and the interrupt activities
I need to do relative to each one listed, and
(09:01):
I love striking them out.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You know, you're not the only Gemini in the room,
and you're not the only one who makes lists. I
make lists too, but they're not as complex as yours.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
My father one of the best lessons he taught me
was at the beginning of the day, right down the
six most important things you have to do, and as
you cross them off, you add them the things that
you hadn't done to the next day, so that nothing
(09:35):
ever gets overlooked.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
And I do that. Okay, that's wonderful.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
That's what we call piling it on. Before you know,
you've got a list like that's ten pages long, and
you go say yourself, oh my gosh, what where should
I start?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I know? And some of my to do activities are
like paint the.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Such a specific task, I.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Know, and it goes on for more than.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Just that hour was six days ago in the heat.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
We could move on.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yes, Robert, what's the most ridiculous health or beauty product
I've ever tried? And this would have to be going
back to the nineteen eighties when I was in my
early forties and my hair began to thin, and so
(10:44):
I wanted to stop that, and so I tried all
kinds of hair restoration products.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Don't work.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Does it didn't work back then, I don't know are
they working today.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I used an oxidal and yeah, it's thicking my hair.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I went through a trial with monoxidil back in the eighties,
and I used to go to the doctor. I guess
it was about once every two weeks. I would go
and he'd take a little eye dropper and he'd drop
(11:27):
the stuff on my head and rub it in, and
then he'd peer with a little eyeglass looking for.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Any hair following the hair growth.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
They had yet discovered the right formula.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah, I think so, because I'm starting to show and
it's thickening.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
It losing my hair. It was humbling. And the day
I took everything off in it, it was freedom. Oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
Well, the most ridiculous product that I had ever used
was in the late sixties. They came out with this
self tanning gels and the first one of them that
I tried, and it was one of the best, was
called Bragi b r a gg I, And the only
(12:21):
problem was yes, you looked great with yourself tan, but
you look at your hands and they're completely orange. You
can tell when anyone used was using this tanning product.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
And one person still uses it. I guessed nowadays, who's
that orange?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
Oh no, he uses Cheetos.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
In a powdered form.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Well, he mashes him. He has someone mash him up.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
That's okay, moving right it off. What are some of
the greatest revelations you've had around getting older, especially as
a gay man. I haven't been phased. I'm just me
who happens to be a gay man. That's a small
part of who I am.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Well, speaking for myself, I find the older I get,
the greater are my ED problems, which is unfortunate but true,
And so you have to find other ways of substituting
(13:36):
for that. And I think probably this also relates back
to ridiculous medical treatments that we've tried over the years.
And I know I have tried many different online supplement combinations,
(13:58):
matters supposed secure ED.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Like a lot of people who aren't just gay, but
especially as a gay man, as the older you get,
the more invisible you become, you know, as opposed to
other cultures such as in Japan, where as you got older,
you became more venerated. I mean in Japan they have
eighty year old porn stars. Okay, so this is a
(14:23):
culture that is completely different, and their concept of beauty
and you know, religion and the soul, all of those
kinds of concepts play into a very different kind of
society and very different values.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Do you think ours are changing?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yes, yes I do, because there is a niche I
have found, or I should say they have found me,
you know, of younger men.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
I totally concurred that was going to be my thing.
It's total revelation to me now that we're not just
old men were attracted by young and middle aged men,
which is really a big surprise to me. Although I
(15:12):
really enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
It's very flattering, you know, because I guess because I
remember myself in my twenties, you would take a twenty
oh forty, Oh that's death.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
That's I thought. I thought eighteen was dead.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
No, I've thought forty was. When I was young. I
didn't think i'd live beyond forty.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I agree, Yeah, I mean, because I counted the years
of forty, it'll be two thousand and six when I'm
in I thought, you know, it's nineteen sixty eight or
something like that, and you're thinking, I can't imagine what
that world is going to be like.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
And it's so different than I mean nice, I see
it differently than I look at it compared to mom
and dad days and how they seemed old. And I
guess it's the weather that keeps us. It helps you know,
we're truly blessed to have sunshine, and a lot of
(16:14):
places don't have it, thus causing you to go inside
and sit in your house and people forget you. That's
what I'm scared of. I don't want to be forgotten.
I never want to be forgotten, and I don't want
to forget people. That is so important to make us
who we are and how we live, and.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
That's a part of health. It is who we surround
ourselves with in terms of social structure and the interactions
we have. If we have positive interactions with the people
that are around us, I think we're going to be
(16:52):
healthier for it. But if we are constantly doing bad
with people, it got to have a detrimental effect on
who you are in your health. Okay, I believe that
very strongly.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Cool okay, in that same vein what is something you
see completely differently than you used to A perspective shift
that can only come with age.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
For me, I mean, when I was younger, in middle age,
sex was everything, and now it doesn't seem to be
quite as important and urged that it used to be.
Not that I enjoy it less, but it just doesn't
have that drive that I used to have for it.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I think one of the biggest changes that I've gone
through from my young self to who I am now
is when you're younger, you feel like you're invinsive, and
over the years you find out that they had hang true,
(18:12):
that there are a lot of things that can get
you down and you just have to be on guard
for them and educate yourself so you know how to
deal with them.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
I think for me, what is different is my definition
of what is love. I used to think of love
only in a physical sense, and I began to question
what it means to love and you know, who's going
to be deserving of your love and who you deserve,
(18:48):
and those things kind of change. And I guess you
know that's from living and learning, you know, and that's
why you have to be mentally strong inside. I think
that's one of the things all of us share in common,
is that there's really this strong pillar that kind of
anchors us. You know, there are so many people in
life who go very fractured lives and due to circumstances
(19:12):
beyond their control, or you know that you just don't know,
or because your parents didn't raise you very well, and
that's a lot of what it comes down to. You know,
haven't talked about it, but that's the kind of stuff
you do when you're on the couch. You know, you
talk about your family, You talk about your parents and
(19:34):
how much you have been programmed in that early time
in your life, and that you know it may have
set you up for making a lot of mistakes.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
You know, one thing that I've missed that I hear
other people talk about as being part of their lives
is I've never had the experience of talking to someone
who is psycho analyzing me consciously as a doctor patient relationship.
(20:11):
So but you know, I hear you know, some of
you guys talk about your experiences.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
It used to be an embarrassing thing to do that,
to go to the doctors and like place, everybody's doing.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
It yeah, you didn't talk about it right.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
How was your measure of life quality and happiness changed
over time? It's gotten better for me, and it's all
because of the Old Gays. It really is. Well.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I have to say the same thing because I moved
to Palm Springs in two thousand and three and I
moved into senior housing, and I was sort of just
there for like ten years. But then the Old Gays
happened and my entire life turned around. I was happy
(21:04):
as can be, and I enjoyed what I was doing.
I never thought that I would come back that well.
Thank you old Thank you God, thank you young day.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
I think I'm gonna cross kiss.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
We'll be right back after a quick break.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Welcome back to silver Lines with the old Gays.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
What's something that feels completely different in your body now
compared to when you were younger?
Speaker 3 (21:51):
My butt, because it is last.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Lord, mine is my anxiety. And I have a very
difficult time controlling my anxiety. And I've taken quite a
few different medications. I've tried some on an as needed basis,
some of them where you take it in the morning,
(22:23):
you take it in the evening, and somehow it just
doesn't work. For me, and when it does work for me,
if it's really a good one, I just fall asleep
and that's the only way that I can control it.
But my anxiety is something that has really really increased
(22:44):
as I'm aging. But that's why I think it's very,
very important that everyone realized that you are in control
of your life and your health and your doctors. Yes,
I mean that is a very very important thing to do.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah, I think about you know, how the four of
us I've learned to deal not only with our own
particular diagnoses, but also how you negotiate the medical system
in the mark.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Yes, yeah, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
You're going to encounter nurses and doctors in which you
like our sympatico with and then there are some that
it's like two ships passing in the night, you know,
and you really have to just go with the flow.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
And sometimes you disagree with the doctor exactly exactly, and
when you disagree, you go around and you try to
find an alternative way to do it.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
You have to be in control, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
And then there's the other thing about well I'll just
have to get a second opinion, okay, and then bye bye.
You just have to be very firm.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Yeah, okay, time for health tips. Can each of us
come up with one or two health tips or health
wisdoms that we can offer our listeners.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
I can think of one. Your mind has a lot
of power over your body, and it's a tool you'd
have to learn how to use, but it is there
and it is.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Very self healing.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
And my tip would be to anyone who isn't feeling
well not to ignore it. But there are so many
places like urgent care that you can just drop in
and find out what's going on with you. Don't procrastinate
it when you're feeling bad. Take action health tip floss
(24:59):
every day. That's not a joke.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
That's unpreventative because bacteria can form in your mouth and
if you start swallowing that down and gets into your gut,
and that's still a good thing.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yeah, Mom told me keep moving because when you stop
sometimes you won't get to start again. Good advice.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
And now the big question, what is your silver lining
to aging? Navigating health and the.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Body, social security?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Two things Medicare and the old gays. You know, the
old Gays helped to change my life, and that's the
biggest thing about being alive. Really and experiencing that because
you know, it was five years ago where I almost
didn't make it, and that's saying something.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Well, one of the unexpected things with growing older that's
happened to me is I try to be more compassionate
about people and not being as critical, you know, of everybody,
because everyone has their own problems. And I believe that
(26:20):
being critical of people only takes negative energy.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
And I think that that's the benefit of growing older,
accumulating knowledge and perspected and being able to understand people's issues.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Yeah, and I would add built when you say you're
less critical of people, yeah, yeah, you're more compassionate, that's
because you're less critical of yourself and that you've learned
to let go. So therapy helps.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
That is three hundred dollars, give it to him, charge it.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
That's a wrap for today. Silver Linings is a production
of Iheart's Ruby Studios and The Outspoken Network. We're your
hosts Bill Lyons, Robert Breeves.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Mick Peterson, and Jesse Martin.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
Our executive producer is Sierra Kaiser. The episode was written
by Ryan Amador, with post production by Eric Zeiler. Our
theme music was composed by MaTx Heirschanau, with audio direction
and design by Matt Stillo. And if you're having fun
(27:41):
with us, please subscribe to follow along, and don't forget
to rate and review the show whenever you get your podcasts.
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
I'm just a greedy little pant.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Give it a battle cry on that Dick
Speaker 4 (28:03):
I came out of the womb gay
Ruby.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
When you're younger, you feel like you're intensive.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Eighteen.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
You know you're not the only Gemini in the room,
and you're not the only one who makes.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Lift from just beyond the lights of Los Angeles and
Steamye Palm Springs, California. It's Mick Robert Bill just say,
and this is still lighting with the old days.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Welcome back, kids. It has been said that with age
comes wisdom.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
And joint pain. Don't forget the joint pain.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
I think Eliah said it best. Age ain't nothing but
a number.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
We're here to talk health, aging and taking care of ourselves.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
And how we're still turning heads wherever we go.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Okay, boys, let's dive right in. What does the concept
of health mean to you these days? How has it
changed over the years.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Well, for me, I think about health a whole lot
more than I did when I was in my twenties.
I didn't even pay attention to my doctor's advice often. Well,
when I was in my twenties, the only doctors that
I remember going to were my dentist and my eye doctor.
(01:48):
But today I have annual visits with my retina specialist,
my vascular specialist, a dermatologist, my psychiatry, and I have
two physicals a year, and since I was fifty years old,
I've had five cholonostopes, and I also do yoga.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Well babies, Boy, that's a mouthful for real. All we
do is spend our lives at doctors.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Now it's almost as taking medications.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Our doctors point it is.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Well when we're trying to get together, it's turning out
to be a real hassle because the doctor's appointments just
pop up.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Everywhere, and they do come first, yes.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
They do, because it's hard to get an appointment with
a lot of doctors.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Well, I looked up the word health and this is
based on Who's definition. Health is a state of complete physical, medical,
and social well being beyond the absence of disease and infirmity.
You know, one of the things I wish I measured
(03:05):
for self sufficiency is whether I can clean my bathroom
and wash the dishes, shower and dress myself and make dinner.
So what I have been taught is establish a baseline
by which we can measure what is improvement from what
(03:25):
is a stable state, and that that transition into thriving.
You know, you pursue that success. You have a purpose
in life. Bob often talks about having a passion for
his work and also general feelings of wellbeing. Bill likes
to talk about his yoga in between his colonosopes.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
So, and I think we've all managed to incorporate our
different healthcare routines into our lives in a white that
enabled us to all pursue our own individual interests.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
I take particular attention now to when I go get
a physical I read all of the things that they
have and now I take my chart very seriously.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, I think it's pretty clear from all of our
conversations that we're much more conscious about our health than
we were when we were younger and infallible. But I
know that for me, I have tried to incorporate activity
(04:45):
very purposely into my life, and most recently, something I
think that is terribly important is massage. I get a
massage every week now, and I talk to the massage
(05:06):
therapist about what he is doing in terms of breaking
up the granules that accumulate in your body in different
places due to the stresses that you face, and how
he moves it through my body, and I could just
(05:28):
feel the bad stuff oozing out of my body.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I guess I have the same experienced training, Yeah, which
is why it's so addictive for me. Also the little endorphins.
It's a great rush in a high, and I enjoy
that at times when life is really hard and it's
a struggle, you know that you can put yourself in
a position of discipline and strength and to actually accomplish
(05:59):
something in like an hour. That has been my rock.
This is from the perspective of somebody who has been
lifting weight since he was fifteen years old, and I'm
sixty nine now, and so it's a way for me
to get through many, many, many trying days even now.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
And another thing that I have become very conscious of
in my older years is how important sleep is.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Yeah, because if I don't have a good night's sleep,
I'm not going to have a good next day, that's
for sure.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And looking back on my younger days, when a lot
of the time I get filed three or four hours
of sleep because I was out partying the night before
and I had to get to work early the next day,
and I don't see.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
How I did it, or no sleep at all.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Our younger listeners are laughing and thinking, oh fun, this
is what I have to look forward to sleep, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
And that's great.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah, I like I knew guys when I first came out.
He used to go to New York and party for
forty eight hours straight. Dang, and then come home to
Minneapolis and crash for the rest of the week for real. Yeah,
for the rest of the week, for the rest of
the week.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
See. I always wanted to do that when I was younger,
but I would fall asleep. I'm not an all night
person except on vacations and cruises. And I'm a walker.
I actually walk, even in this weather, twice a day.
Oh yeah. I get out at ten o'clock at night
and then at six in the morning or six thirty.
(07:50):
But then I go back to pied.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yeah, we're already into daily maintenance.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
So well, okay, go ahead, Meg with your daily maintenance.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
What's the daily habit that you swear by now you
never cared about when you were younger.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
For me, one of the things that I find very
calming that will bring chaos to a controlled state is
making lists. Makes fun of me and accuses me of
being a Gemini about my list, But I truly keep
(08:38):
on my computer a spreadsheet of my master to do lists,
which is grouped by major categories and the interrupt activities
I need to do relative to each one listed, and
(09:01):
I love striking them out.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You know, you're not the only Gemini in the room,
and you're not the only one who makes lists. I
make lists too, but they're not as complex as yours.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
My father one of the best lessons he taught me
was at the beginning of the day, right down the
six most important things you have to do, and as
you cross them off, you add them the things that
you hadn't done to the next day, so that nothing
(09:35):
ever gets overlooked.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
And I do that. Okay, that's wonderful.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
That's what we call piling it on. Before you know,
you've got a list like that's ten pages long, and
you go say yourself, oh my gosh, what where should
I start?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I know? And some of my to do activities are
like paint the.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Such a specific task, I.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Know, and it goes on for more than.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Just that hour was six days ago in the heat.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
We could move on.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yes, Robert, what's the most ridiculous health or beauty product
I've ever tried? And this would have to be going
back to the nineteen eighties when I was in my
early forties and my hair began to thin, and so
(10:44):
I wanted to stop that, and so I tried all
kinds of hair restoration products.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Don't work.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Does it didn't work back then, I don't know are
they working today.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I used an oxidal and yeah, it's thicking my hair.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I went through a trial with monoxidil back in the eighties,
and I used to go to the doctor. I guess
it was about once every two weeks. I would go
and he'd take a little eye dropper and he'd drop
(11:27):
the stuff on my head and rub it in, and
then he'd peer with a little eyeglass looking for.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Any hair following the hair growth.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
They had yet discovered the right formula.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah, I think so, because I'm starting to show and
it's thickening.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
It losing my hair. It was humbling. And the day
I took everything off in it, it was freedom. Oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
Well, the most ridiculous product that I had ever used
was in the late sixties. They came out with this
self tanning gels and the first one of them that
I tried, and it was one of the best, was
called Bragi b r a gg I, And the only
(12:21):
problem was yes, you looked great with yourself tan, but
you look at your hands and they're completely orange. You
can tell when anyone used was using this tanning product.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
And one person still uses it. I guessed nowadays, who's
that orange?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
Oh no, he uses Cheetos.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
In a powdered form.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Well, he mashes him. He has someone mash him up.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
That's okay, moving right it off. What are some of
the greatest revelations you've had around getting older, especially as
a gay man. I haven't been phased. I'm just me
who happens to be a gay man. That's a small
part of who I am.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Well, speaking for myself, I find the older I get,
the greater are my ED problems, which is unfortunate but true,
And so you have to find other ways of substituting
(13:36):
for that. And I think probably this also relates back
to ridiculous medical treatments that we've tried over the years.
And I know I have tried many different online supplement combinations,
(13:58):
matters supposed secure ED.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Like a lot of people who aren't just gay, but
especially as a gay man, as the older you get,
the more invisible you become, you know, as opposed to
other cultures such as in Japan, where as you got older,
you became more venerated. I mean in Japan they have
eighty year old porn stars. Okay, so this is a
(14:23):
culture that is completely different, and their concept of beauty
and you know, religion and the soul, all of those
kinds of concepts play into a very different kind of
society and very different values.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Do you think ours are changing?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yes, yes I do, because there is a niche I
have found, or I should say they have found me,
you know, of younger men.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
I totally concurred that was going to be my thing.
It's total revelation to me now that we're not just
old men were attracted by young and middle aged men,
which is really a big surprise to me. Although I
(15:12):
really enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
It's very flattering, you know, because I guess because I
remember myself in my twenties, you would take a twenty
oh forty, Oh that's death.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
That's I thought. I thought eighteen was dead.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
No, I've thought forty was. When I was young. I
didn't think i'd live beyond forty.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I agree, Yeah, I mean, because I counted the years
of forty, it'll be two thousand and six when I'm
in I thought, you know, it's nineteen sixty eight or
something like that, and you're thinking, I can't imagine what
that world is going to be like.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
And it's so different than I mean nice, I see
it differently than I look at it compared to mom
and dad days and how they seemed old. And I
guess it's the weather that keeps us. It helps you know,
we're truly blessed to have sunshine, and a lot of
(16:14):
places don't have it, thus causing you to go inside
and sit in your house and people forget you. That's
what I'm scared of. I don't want to be forgotten.
I never want to be forgotten, and I don't want
to forget people. That is so important to make us
who we are and how we live, and.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
That's a part of health. It is who we surround
ourselves with in terms of social structure and the interactions
we have. If we have positive interactions with the people
that are around us, I think we're going to be
(16:52):
healthier for it. But if we are constantly doing bad
with people, it got to have a detrimental effect on
who you are in your health. Okay, I believe that
very strongly.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Cool okay, in that same vein what is something you
see completely differently than you used to A perspective shift
that can only come with age.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
For me, I mean, when I was younger, in middle age,
sex was everything, and now it doesn't seem to be
quite as important and urged that it used to be.
Not that I enjoy it less, but it just doesn't
have that drive that I used to have for it.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I think one of the biggest changes that I've gone
through from my young self to who I am now
is when you're younger, you feel like you're invinsive, and
over the years you find out that they had hang true,
(18:12):
that there are a lot of things that can get
you down and you just have to be on guard
for them and educate yourself so you know how to
deal with them.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
I think for me, what is different is my definition
of what is love. I used to think of love
only in a physical sense, and I began to question
what it means to love and you know, who's going
to be deserving of your love and who you deserve,
(18:48):
and those things kind of change. And I guess you
know that's from living and learning, you know, and that's
why you have to be mentally strong inside. I think
that's one of the things all of us share in common,
is that there's really this strong pillar that kind of
anchors us. You know, there are so many people in
life who go very fractured lives and due to circumstances
(19:12):
beyond their control, or you know that you just don't know,
or because your parents didn't raise you very well, and
that's a lot of what it comes down to. You know,
haven't talked about it, but that's the kind of stuff
you do when you're on the couch. You know, you
talk about your family, You talk about your parents and
(19:34):
how much you have been programmed in that early time
in your life, and that you know it may have
set you up for making a lot of mistakes.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
You know, one thing that I've missed that I hear
other people talk about as being part of their lives
is I've never had the experience of talking to someone
who is psycho analyzing me consciously as a doctor patient relationship.
(20:11):
So but you know, I hear you know, some of
you guys talk about your experiences.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
It used to be an embarrassing thing to do that,
to go to the doctors and like place, everybody's doing.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
It yeah, you didn't talk about it right.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
How was your measure of life quality and happiness changed
over time? It's gotten better for me, and it's all
because of the Old Gays. It really is. Well.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I have to say the same thing because I moved
to Palm Springs in two thousand and three and I
moved into senior housing, and I was sort of just
there for like ten years. But then the Old Gays
happened and my entire life turned around. I was happy
(21:04):
as can be, and I enjoyed what I was doing.
I never thought that I would come back that well.
Thank you old Thank you God, thank you young day.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
I think I'm gonna cross kiss.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
We'll be right back after a quick break.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Welcome back to silver Lines with the old Gays.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
What's something that feels completely different in your body now
compared to when you were younger?
Speaker 3 (21:51):
My butt, because it is last.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Lord, mine is my anxiety. And I have a very
difficult time controlling my anxiety. And I've taken quite a
few different medications. I've tried some on an as needed basis,
some of them where you take it in the morning,
(22:23):
you take it in the evening, and somehow it just
doesn't work. For me, and when it does work for me,
if it's really a good one, I just fall asleep
and that's the only way that I can control it.
But my anxiety is something that has really really increased
(22:44):
as I'm aging. But that's why I think it's very,
very important that everyone realized that you are in control
of your life and your health and your doctors. Yes,
I mean that is a very very important thing to do.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah, I think about you know, how the four of
us I've learned to deal not only with our own
particular diagnoses, but also how you negotiate the medical system
in the mark.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Yes, yeah, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
You're going to encounter nurses and doctors in which you
like our sympatico with and then there are some that
it's like two ships passing in the night, you know,
and you really have to just go with the flow.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
And sometimes you disagree with the doctor exactly exactly, and
when you disagree, you go around and you try to
find an alternative way to do it.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
You have to be in control, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
And then there's the other thing about well I'll just
have to get a second opinion, okay, and then bye bye.
You just have to be very firm.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Yeah, okay, time for health tips. Can each of us
come up with one or two health tips or health
wisdoms that we can offer our listeners.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
I can think of one. Your mind has a lot
of power over your body, and it's a tool you'd
have to learn how to use, but it is there
and it is.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Very self healing.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
And my tip would be to anyone who isn't feeling
well not to ignore it. But there are so many
places like urgent care that you can just drop in
and find out what's going on with you. Don't procrastinate
it when you're feeling bad. Take action health tip floss
(24:59):
every day. That's not a joke.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
That's unpreventative because bacteria can form in your mouth and
if you start swallowing that down and gets into your gut,
and that's still a good thing.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yeah, Mom told me keep moving because when you stop
sometimes you won't get to start again. Good advice.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
And now the big question, what is your silver lining
to aging? Navigating health and the.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Body, social security?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Two things Medicare and the old gays. You know, the
old Gays helped to change my life, and that's the
biggest thing about being alive. Really and experiencing that because
you know, it was five years ago where I almost
didn't make it, and that's saying something.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Well, one of the unexpected things with growing older that's
happened to me is I try to be more compassionate
about people and not being as critical, you know, of everybody,
because everyone has their own problems. And I believe that
(26:20):
being critical of people only takes negative energy.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
And I think that that's the benefit of growing older,
accumulating knowledge and perspected and being able to understand people's issues.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Yeah, and I would add built when you say you're
less critical of people, yeah, yeah, you're more compassionate, that's
because you're less critical of yourself and that you've learned
to let go. So therapy helps.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
That is three hundred dollars, give it to him, charge it.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
That's a wrap for today. Silver Linings is a production
of Iheart's Ruby Studios and The Outspoken Network. We're your
hosts Bill Lyons, Robert Breeves.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Mick Peterson, and Jesse Martin.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
Our executive producer is Sierra Kaiser. The episode was written
by Ryan Amador, with post production by Eric Zeiler. Our
theme music was composed by MaTx Heirschanau, with audio direction
and design by Matt Stillo. And if you're having fun
(27:41):
with us, please subscribe to follow along, and don't forget
to rate and review the show whenever you get your podcasts.
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
I'm just a greedy little pant.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Give it a battle cry on that Dick
Speaker 4 (28:03):
I came out of the womb gay
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