September 27, 2023 • 47 mins
Singer/songwriter Anthony Nix spills all the tea to Savage about his past and facing 117 years in jail.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ooh seven. I like to keep it real simple.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
All right, you guys, it's Wednesday. Today we have the
one and only singer songwriter Anthony Nix with us. Welcome, Welcome, Anthony.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
How are you good to be here?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You know it's crazy. I'm good. I'm crazy busy, and
I know you are too. But it's good to finally
be able to connect because I know we've been trying
to do this for months now.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
I've fan girl over here a little bit, so yeah,
I've been I've been waiting to get to talk about
stop it.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
So how did we meet?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
We met on TikTok live thanks soyvia a while ago.
I knew nothing about you and we you were in
your car. I think you were singing in your car,
that makes sense. It was just a random live. I
was just scrolling. You were singing in your car. I
popped in and I think you said something like, oh,
(01:09):
I know, like savage, my mom whatever, and I was like, yeah,
oh hi, like I did.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I don't know. I just kind of hung out in there.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Uh. So that's how I first came across your content.
And then I would see you live, see you singing,
and I remember one time popping in, and there was drama,
then not drama. Then you were sick and not sick.
We're about to dive into all of the juicy details,
so let's let's rewind back to my memory.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Everything seemed kind of cool.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
And calm and collective.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
You were singing. Is that how you got started? First
of all?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Is that how you got started on TikTok? Like you
were doing singing?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
That's the reason I got started. But I actually have
another account that did pretty well that I got permanently
removed from TikTok. On me I used to do. I
used to battle my friend Kingry a lot on in dances,
and I got a little two into one.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
You took your clothes off.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I was banned for something with the word adult in it.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yes, adult nudity.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Yes, I was banned for adult. Wait how much what
did you have left on? I? So it wasn't It
was the equivalent of seeing plumber crack literally in a
dance move, and that was it.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
So you took your shirt off, you had pants on,
and you bent down and we sell butt crack. Yes, okay,
so you were thirst trapping that's how you started on TikTok. Yes, Okay, okay,
let's even go further back. What do you do for
a living? Are you a plumber?
Speaker 4 (02:47):
But no, just said I went to ask when I
first started TikTok, and actually that's pretty I didn't have
anything going on in life.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I had just come out of something.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Terrible, which was what don't skip past that?
Speaker 3 (03:03):
So I I and a lot of people know this
on TikTok. Now I actually at one point.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Wait wait, wait, time out, time out, time out, go back?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Before that?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
What were you doing before TikTok? Because I want people
to see the whole picture here, So before TikTok started,
before your drama started, what were you doing, like prior
to all of that.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Always I always played music on the side, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
But what was your main job though?
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I owned a real estate business.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Oh okay, so you own real estate.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
You would sing to your clients by this house, by
this house.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
I actually had a nickname before that, even because I
got I did fifteen years in the in the auto industry.
I was a finance manager.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Okay, so you financed. Oh you're a salesman. You're a
sleet flick knocker. Okay, now we know.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Okay, so salesperson salesperson finance, because you know you've got
to have that slat tongue to be a finance person. Okay,
so fine, I nance then real estate. Then you're like, well,
I'm gonna try my hand at singing, and then you
come on TikTok and thirst trap.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
So in between your slick salesman and your thirst trap
plumber crack stuff, you had some drama going. Yes, okay,
let's talk about the drama. Lay it out on us.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
So I was actually facing one hundred and seventeen years
in prison.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Oh wait, say that one more time. One hundred and seventeen.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Years seventeen years in prison?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Was it for the finance stuff?
Speaker 3 (04:32):
No, I'm from a small town.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
And in what state? What state are you from?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
In Wisconsin?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Okay? A cheesehead?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Uh not really. I'm not your typical cheesehead.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Okay, you're like bree cheese like, you're like bougie.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
No, I'm not a big cheese person, la tolerant.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Okay, okay, so you get the shits all right, all right,
you can't be a cheesehead people, Okay, Okay, No I was.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
I was in a very very toxic relationship.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
How long was this relationship.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
We were together for two years and it was the
we were kind of like a local power couple, I
would say for a small town. Anyways, Okay, I was
doing really well in real estate, really well in music
in the state of Wisconsin.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
And what was she doing.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
She is like a leader for while she was seemingly
a leader for like women. She won like some local
awards as like young Business Professional of the Year and
things like that. But actually her mom owned the business
and she worked for her mom.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Okay, what was the business, Like, was she in real
estate as well?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
No, it was she was a salesperson for clothing, women's clothing. Okay, yeah,
but there was. They owned several stores. Okay, so they
had kind.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Of so you guys were romantic got into this two
year relationship. Both were slick on the sales side.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
And what happened.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
It just after I mean it was that hot and heavy,
super super fast like in love overnight like okay, which
is very dangerous and toxic and horrible, but that's the
way it went down. Like talked about getting married like
weeks into the relationship, which is just crazy, Like now,
(06:26):
I know, years.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Ago, I don't know if some people out there might
argue with that and say they knew they got married
and they are still together.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
To each their own, I guess, to each their own. Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
So yeah, so you guys went like you dove in.
You were all in from like minute one, okay, yes,
and then.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
The turmoil probably started six months and then.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
What's the turmoil? What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
This jealousy and arguments about I would travel for work.
She was very pretty, she modeled, She did a whole
bunch of things. She would, you know, have pictures and
things on the internet and I was like, come one,
who's in your DM. She'd be like, who's in your DM?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Oh? So it was mutual. It wasn't just one way
or the other.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
Class of the title, ah okay, okay, yes.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
And we tried to hold on in that toxicity for
a year and a half, okay, which is hell.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
That's always wondering, always questioning.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
That's that's hard. That's a lot well in.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
The fights, and it just it just it was the
most toxic thing you could imagine. My fault, this is
once her fault. However, at the end, she trumps me
with the toxicity and I ended up with the police.
I had just gotten back from Nashville. I'd taken pictures
(07:54):
with some pretty big country musicians. I was, and I
had told her that I was playing on leaving and
movie back to Nashville because I had lived there previously.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Okay, so you were basically telling her you were done.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Yeah, I was. I was done, you know. And we
had broken up forty three times in a year and
a half.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Okay, you know what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:13):
What what Cloud did? Or well, like, what did that mean?
Who knows? But I told her I was I was
going back to Nashville, went to Nashville, came back home.
I went to kind of figure out where I wanted
to live and do some networking and stuff. Came back
home to a card in my front door from a
sheriff's deputy that said I needed to call him. I
called him and he said, you are going to be arrested.
(08:38):
We need you to come in, and I was like
for what. He didn't want to tell me. It terrified me.
So I called a lawyer and I was like what
do I do? And he's like, well, how are you
hiring me? I was like, I guess, So I hired
this lawyer. He calls in, calls me back in like
a half an hour, and he's like, you're going to
be charged with nine felonies and you're not going home?
(09:02):
Like and I was like whoa. I was like, what
are you talking about? And he's like, they have to
do with an ex girlfriend, that's all they'll tell me.
And I'm like an ex girlfriend, Like it is it?
Are we exited? Are we together? Like? What are we doing?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
So you weren't even sure if it was her?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I didn't know. I was like, what couldn't talk to her?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Okay, y'all get your popcorn ready because this is about
to get juicy.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Okay, keep going.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
So anyways, yeah, did you get into the police station?
I turned myself in Okay, and there I get arrested
and literally nine felonies.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And then like they arrested you and put you in
jail and you had to stay there.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Right away because there were nine felonies they put They
gave me a I believe the first day was an
eighty eighty thousand dollars cash bomb.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
WHOA did anyone have eighty K to put? Who had
eighty K put up for you?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
I was a pretty regular guy and I am I
didn't just have eighty thousand dollars laying around like that's
not normal really, you know. So I'm sitting sitting, sitting,
sitting and went and pled not guilty. And I and
I talked that I recall is wait, you mean you.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Mean sitting like you're sitting in jail.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
I was in jail.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Oh it took me.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
It took me four months to get the bond lower.
It took I sent you out for four months.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Okay, what holy macro, what were these felonies? List?
Speaker 3 (10:34):
List some of them as they are stalking? It was
a burglary like some something with harassment, intimidation all it
was just this and they just so there was like
stalking was a lot. That was the premise of the
of time situation, and that was the charge that kept
(10:57):
being It was repeated.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I don't even know what was the base of the stalking.
Was it telephone texts?
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Like you went said the police while I was gone
and said that we had broken up a year and
a half before. And I just couldn't get it through
my head.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Oh is there truth to them?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
No? And that's free man.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
I'm just I'm just asking you.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Okay, So you sit in jail four months they're stalking,
there's menacing, there's harassment, there's.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
All sorts of crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Just okay, it's.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Sacking up, stacking upside and I'm sitting there and.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
What are you doing in jail?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
What do you do in jail?
Speaker 1 (11:39):
You can what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Yeah, freaked out, terrified, but I mean, what do you do?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Like you're sitting in there and you're like, I didn't
do any of this, So then what do you do?
Do you call your attorneys?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Do you call?
Speaker 3 (11:47):
I would call my lawyer and my sisters would be
able to I have three sisters who are like my
best friends in the whole world. Like they talked to
me every day. My mom talked to me every day.
Other women business owners that I did work with in
the community talk to me every day. I came to
visit me and they all kind of went to work
for me because I couldn't help myself. And I said,
(12:09):
you all need to go to my house. You need
to give my cell phone, you need to get my computer,
you need to get everything and give it to the police.
And my lawyer was like, no, don't do that. And
I was like, no, go do that now.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Why did your attorney say no?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
He said that once I handed that stuff over, if
there was anything I didn't know about that was incriminating,
I could get in even more trouble. And I said,
and I can't tell him. I'm like, dude, they got
the wrong guy. I want them to have all my information.
I want them to have access to everything. I have
nothing to hide. But he was hired and he would
(12:49):
not give it over. So they all they had at
this point was the cell phone I had when I
turned myself in Wow, which I didn't have everything because
it didn't have everything from the cloud backed up for however.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Long for the year and a half or whatever.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Okay, So finally I get all this information to them,
they lower the bond because they know if charges are
about to get drunned.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
So, but you sit in jail for four months, how
do you how do you not daily? Daily?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I so this is where and if the long story
is how everything changed. When I started TikTok and I started,
I was in a terrible place, like I wanted to
not be alive anymore.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I wanted to like, yeah, because if you're sitting there
every single day knowing, Okay, I didn't do this, I
didn't do this how do I get out?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
How do I get out? And no one's helping you.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
There's got to be times where you're thinking, like, what's
the point?
Speaker 3 (13:50):
It was. There was a lot of times when I
thought what's the point? And the days where I just
would give up and be like I guess I have
to figure out how to get used to this life,
like this is it?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (14:00):
So you overcome that mentally within the four month timeframe,
obviously because you kept fighting. So you fight, you give
them the information. They lower your bond. What was the
bond lower too?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
They dropped it to a ten thousand dollars cash bond
because they were still charges you. Once you're in and
you're charged, they don't just one day go away. There's
the prosecution was like this guy was because and this
is this is the hard part behind it. I was
a bad kid growing up, like I had juv, I
(14:36):
had been arrested. I didn't do anything like this.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yeah, but that played into okay, this could potentially be
a bar fight.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Every you know, everything from being expelled in high school
came out, you know what I mean. They're like, hey,
he's a bad guy. We're taking this all the way.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
So they lower the bond.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Okay, bond out for a ten thousand dollars cash bond. Okay,
and I home and I told my lawyer, I was like,
I want like, I want to leave, Like I'm not
going to run from this, but I want to, like,
I gotta get out of here. I live in a
small town. This is crazy. There's a newspaper article out
now I could. I remember going to the grocery store
and feeling like people just they wanted to kill me,
(15:16):
Like I felt so small and just horrible. I was like,
So I was like, can I leave the state. So
I had to ask for mission to leave the state
and go to Tennessee, and I left. I went back
to Tennessee for a while, kept working on music because
that's kind of what was my happy place. I lost
my real estate license. Obviously I wasn't going to do
business local.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Wait wait, how did you?
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Okay, so you get out and the chargers are still there,
so like nothing had been settled.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Still there, Okay. I still had to fight these charges, however,
they lowered. So they lowered the bond because we were
able to present some evidence. But the process goes as such,
you you're not really fighting your trial. Until trial, you're
allowed to present some evidence to help you along the way,
but a judge will only allow you to present so
(16:05):
much until you decide to go to try.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
So when was trial from when you got arrested?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Here's the here's the crazy part. Small town, right, A
small town kind of the bad boy? I definitely. I
was also a good athlete in bands when I was younger.
I had a lot of girlfriends in a small town.
So I left, came back, I went to I was
(16:33):
at a meeting at my lawyer's house at his office,
which looks like a house down by the lake, and
SWAT team rolls up at my meeting, arrests me again,
throws me back in jail again with another eighty thousand
dollars cash bond.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
What was this for?
Speaker 3 (16:55):
All the same stuff? So what they did while I
was gone is her and this detective who's local, and
their kids go to school together and blah blah blah
blah blah, buddies, I have a video. Like. The thing
people don't know is after a trial, you get all
the videos, you get, all the evidence, you get. I
(17:16):
have everything. I've seen it.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Okay, so you get arrested again.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
So she goes around with him to talk to everybody
I have ever dated since like middle school. They interviewed
ninety women in the.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
State of Okay, Listen, you got around, I.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Got it round and I'm not about That's the thing.
I don't live that life remark, and I'm hoping about it.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Listen, you didn't even have hose in other area code.
You kept them all in this same That was your problem.
That was your problem. Lord, have mercy, Lord have mercy, sir.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
This was a major like, this was the biggest trial.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Okay, So you get arrested again. You're saying, there's a
witch hunt. Look, we don't know. I don't know what's
going on. I'm hearing this story for the very first time.
There's a witch hunt. You get thrown back in this lammer.
How long were you back in again before trial?
Speaker 3 (18:13):
So this time the judge was obviously very familiar with
the case because months had gone by. He had talked
to her several times. He had talked to me several
times on my attorney. She came in. Detective comes in
on this one. This time they tried to say, and
I talked about it. I've never I'm not charged with it.
(18:34):
They tried to charge me with SSA, okay, and it
was her, so the other charges weren't sticking. So now
she was like, well, there was one point while we
were dating a year, it was like literally a year
and a half, and she said, we got in an
(18:55):
argument and blah blah blah blah blah, and if she
would have been nicer to me, it wouldn't be that.
But he and this is literally her burbage, but he
wasn't nice to me after that, and he accused me
of cheating on him the next day and blah blah blah.
So anyways, the judge is listening to her and listening
(19:16):
to the end. He literally says in front of everybody
and it's like, I said, this is all public record.
This doesn't add up. Something's not adding up. No, that
charge is not allowed in this case. So immediately removed
from the table, okay. And he's like so then they
(19:38):
were like, well, this girl said this, and this girl
said this and nothing like that, but just that I
was me like that, I was not a nice guy. Okay,
no essay, no stocking, no anything like that. But well
he's been a jerk for all these years. So two
of her friends out of the ninety women who I
also had relationships with, We're like, he's a jerk, and
(20:02):
so they tried to charge me with like domestic stuff
with them from years before.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Okay, all of it gets dropped, okay.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
And thrown out at the end of the day. So
what happens is.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
So how long were you in jail though? When on the.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Second time, At that time, it was like a week. Okay,
I just had to wait for the hearing to get
the bomb dropped. I knew what was happening, and it
was and my lawyer said, they're going to keep They're
just going to stack because right now there's been articles
out and they've been coming after you for a year
and they've exhausted a lot of funds coming after you,
(20:39):
so there's no way they're.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Just going to just drop it.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Okay, So you're in jail for another week. Then what happens?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
So I go home after that, I do a ten
thousand dollars cast. They drop it again, so now they
have twenty thousand dollars and I'm on the twenty thousand
dollars cash bond, and then it's just crickets for months.
You hear nothing. I'm waiting months for another court date.
The day before the court date to the decide if
(21:07):
I wanted to go to a jury trial.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Okay, I which okay, would the jury trial be there
in that city and that town or did you have
to say?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Oh? Okay?
Speaker 3 (21:16):
However, I still wanted to go because, okay, I knew
what I had, okay, which is what saved literally saved
my life at the end of the day. Okay, I'm weird.
I save everything, like I say, and to this day,
I save every conversation.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Well, I'm sure now you do.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Absolutely, I'm a weirdo about it. I'm like, nope, strain's
not saved.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
You're like, save that puppy. Okay. So you spend a weekend,
there's months of crickets again.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
So then it's it's crickets. And then all of a sudden,
the day before I'm about to go to this jury trial,
the district attorney calls and says, and this is unheard of,
literally unheard of here anyways, if if he agrees to
become a felon, will drop all the rest of the
charges today. And I was like, what, you took a
(22:11):
year of my life. I've spent four and a half
months in jail. Every penny I have, I've lost my career,
I've lost everything. Now you're telling me after they went
through my computer, because I finally got to give them everything.
So these months, that's what they were doing, was going
through and I found out after they've got warrants for Apple, Facebook, Instagram, everything.
(22:37):
When they looked through all of that, they realized that
she had literally sent me nudes and told me that
she loved me and everything. The day before she called police,
and every day before that the entire time. Wow, And
(22:58):
so all of a sudden they were like, shit.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Give it.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Why would they say you need to be a felon
or agree to be in a felon?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I don't understand that piece of it.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
So according to my lawyer, and I don't know, I'm
not a lawyer, and by any means, but according to
my lawyer, and from what I learned in that year
long of dealing with this, if the prosecution spends that
much time and that much money, if even if they
don't get any of those charges, but I get one charge,
they technically win, and politically, well.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Then why wouldn't they switch it over to a person
who had the false accusations and charge that person.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
So then they take they win.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Because of victim witness protection rights in the state of Wiscons.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I know nothing about the court system. I'm not even
going to protect there.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Are in the state of Wisconsin. There are victim witness
protection rights. And even if it is proven that it
didn't happen, the victim is still the victim and can
never be prosecuted.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Oh okay, okay, So they give you this plea deal, right,
is that what it's called a plea deal?
Speaker 3 (24:05):
A plea deal? Okay, they give me a plea deal.
So I become a felon for reckless endangerment of public
safety for a for an argument that I was in
and unrelated in twenty fifteen.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
That's what I mean with a girl with a girl.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Yeah, okay, so I'm in an argument drinking, we're out
at the bars, no physical altercation. In fact, my dumbass
tried to jump out of a moving vehicle.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Oh Anthony, I was reckless.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
They was totally reckless. Did I deserve in twenty fifteen
a felony for reckless endangerment? Yes? And I totally tell everyone.
I'm like, yeah, I definitely in twenty fifteen, deserved that
felony in twenty twenty when I would have never jumped
out of a moving vehicle.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Okay, so they come to you, they say, here's a
plea deal. Do you take it right right then and there,
or do you talk to your attorney like.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Hey, no, I said no. Okay, I said no, and
my attorney is like, I called my mom, called much this,
I called everyone who mattered, you know, and I was like, look,
this is the way this is going to go. I
can take this plea deal and become a felon and
have to fight for my life back after this, or
(25:24):
I keep fighting and maybe I went and it's it's
all goes away.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
And what did they say?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
My family basically was like they were like, the damage
is done. It's never going away. They were like, even
if you're not a felon, even if you do not
become a felon after this, this town is not going
to forgive you. Nobody's going to change their mind. They
set the articles out the damage is done.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Well, you should have known that after about sixty seventy
women in that small town.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I was young and dumb. I've fully, fully, we've.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
All been young and dumb, but sixty seventy eighty ninety
like not that dumb?
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Well I was, I was heavy.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Yeah, what have we learned, Anthony? To keep our what
in our what?
Speaker 3 (26:12):
I was, No, I don't. My life is complete, okay,
all right?
Speaker 2 (26:15):
So fell So everyone's like take the felony, take it.
Everyone's telling you take it.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Everyone's like to take it.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Okay, and so.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
So I weigh the options and I go back. I
talk to my alarm. I'm like, what is it, Like,
where are we financially? And this was the dagger, and
he's like, hey, like we're good right now. But this
jury trial is going to cost you a fortune. And
(26:44):
he told me the number and I was like, I
don't have that.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
But there was no way for you to countersue at
any point for false anything because of the victim thing.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
I've tried it, okay, and it's just the process is
so hard.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
So you talk to everyone and they say take it.
Your attorneys is gonna cost you a lot of money.
You say, I don't have it, So then what do
you do?
Speaker 3 (27:08):
I took the deal. The judge. The judge, so the
deal held. Technically eleven years in prison still it's a
felam and it's reckless endangerment to public safety.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
So well I go into the last day of all
of this and I say, yeah, I'll take it. And
now it's at the judge's mercy. You either go to
prison or you go home. And I was fully ready
to go to prison, like but eleven years as a
(27:44):
maximum opposed to that one hundred and seventeen. I was
broken down mentally, like I was just I was tired,
like I was, I was complete. I wasn't this person was.
I was a different person. And I was like, that
was it. I gave up. And I'm like, I don't have
what it takes that financially, mentally, anything anymore. I give up.
(28:04):
I'm done. I learned my freaking lesson from you know,
my whole life changed, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
So you go into the courtroom that day not knowing
what's gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, And so he he talked to me for a
little while and he said, and I'll go into this
a little bit after if you want. But uh, he
said to me, and I'll never forget I wish this
would have gone to a jury trial. Those are his
words on the record, and I wanted to stop and
(28:35):
be like, I changed my mind. Why he said, I'm
going to put you on probation because I don't know
how credible the other side is. But I also do
know that you, young man, have had a long life of
doing dumb shit rightfully, So I mean he was totally right,
(28:57):
you know what I mean because and he said, at
this point, the crimes you were charged of, there's never
been any proof you did any of that. However, I
think your past finally caught up with you and you're
going to pay this price. Don't mess up, or you're
going to face all of it. And that was scared straight,
(29:19):
like sure, okay, done.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Like okay, so what did so? He said probation? How long?
How long is probation?
Speaker 3 (29:28):
It gave me five years of probation.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
And that started win.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
That was in twenty twenty, so I still have a
year left. However, I'm on like I don't have to,
which this is where I keep getting left out of everything, Okay,
like awards and things like that I've been nominated for
I don't even freaking know. But they always reach back
out and they're like, dude, there's a five year limit.
(29:54):
There's a five year after your five years, you can
win whatever you want to win. And I'm like, why.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Is so five years after your fell it after your probation's.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Over, or five years literally next year you.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Could start with it?
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (30:08):
What kind of awards? What kind of awards are we
talking about? Music awards?
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Music awards? I've been nominated for Midwest Artists of the Year,
Songwriter of the Year, Male Vocalists of the Year, which
is like what for what? So it's called the Whammy Awards,
and then Midwest Country Music Awards like our small Grammy
and ACM kind of awards, Okay, and like, yeah, I
(30:36):
get nominated every time in the past three years, and
they're like, dude, we love you, but you have to wait.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Okay, so what now? I need to say this because
we're only hearing your side. We have not heard anyone
else's side. So this is this is Anthony's account. I'm
not taking anyone side. I'm just listening to what you
have been telling me. What have you learned in all
of this?
Speaker 3 (31:04):
I think that the biggest thing to take from it
for me personally anyways, is when a relationship gets toxic,
when you lie, when you cheat. There is no coming back.
There is no if you break up, if there's this
constant breakup because there's no trust, like that's it. You
(31:26):
have to be mature enough to be like this is
at the end of the road, because it does not
get better. I don't believe that. I've seen it. I've
watched other cases. My situation. I lived that for years
being this honestly just being a douchebag and being super
dishonest and super you know what I mean. Like, and
(31:46):
yet does it physically hurt anybody, No, But emotionally that
really messes with people and absolutely emotionally messed with the
wrong person, and they want to nail you to a cross.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Like I think sometimes people looking from the outside and
looking at other people that I know, they're like, well,
I want to hurt him or her just as much
as they hurt me.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
And I'm like just walk away, like just let it go,
Just let it go.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Wow, that's an insane last few years. Okay, So twenty
twenty happens, you're on probation, you start TikTok, where are
you now?
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Do you have children? Did you have children before? Are
you in a relationship?
Speaker 3 (32:34):
I have I'm in a super healthy relationship. I have
a beautiful sixteen month old daughter. I have a seventeen
year old son who is a little mini version of me,
which terrifies me. But he's a lot more. He's well behaved.
He's never going to arrest.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Okay, I'm like, please tell me he's not following in
near footsteps.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Oh no, he's well behaved.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Is he with his mom? Does she have custody or
do you guys joint or do you see.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Him my son? So, yeah, and we that's the crazy
part when they the past women. You know, while obviously
my history with her was the wrong, like literally the strongest.
She was totally in my corner. She's like, dude, you're
an asshole, but like you're I mean, like hmm, like
(33:22):
this is crazy, and so it's she never it. Luckily,
it never affected that relationship in a in a bad way.
In fact, I didn't know she would be in my corner.
I kind of didn't expect that at all.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
So, so, what what have you changed in your thought
process now as far as how you handle your relationships
and cutting ties? Not cutting ties because it has to
cross over to friendships too, not just relationships.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Oh it has so one of the things that that
I don't drink, I don't. I don't drink at all,
not even gonna drop.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
That's great.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I used to drink a lot. I used to drink
a lot, and I used to part I lived this
weird once. Most salesmen, you know, drink a lot and
party a lot after work, and I typically aren't. I'm sorry,
but I can speak from experience. Are not the nicest guys.
So I did that. And then on top of that,
I would go be the front man in whatever cover
(34:22):
band I was playing in every Friday and Saturday night.
So that's extra douchey. And now you have this boiling
pot of super douche And I just lived this life
for most of my adult life, and I'm blunt about it.
I know it sounds horrible, but like it's it's completely true,
and it's moving like now in life. I'm like, dude,
(34:45):
I like, I avoid all this this stuff, like the
play after shows, I've run to my truck. I don't
care where I am and I don't even talk to people,
which sounds arrogant or mean, but I'm like, I just
don't want to be in the middle, you know.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
And in that Lifeele did you do any co counseling?
Did you do any counseling?
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Though intense I was in counseling, I still am in
counseling good as often as I was, and I was
never core ordered. I actually put myself in counseling because
when I got out of jail the first time, when
I was dealing with that, I really didn't want to be.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Yeah, listen, no matter anyone's circumstance. I am a big fan.
I do counseling as well. I'm a big fan of
people because, you know what, whether it be relationships, whether
it be depression, whether it be your parent issues, whatever
it is, I feel like getting into that counseling listening
(35:42):
to an impartial party who is just there to help you,
does amazing things and works wonder So I'm proud of
you for that cause I have a lot of male
friends that I suggest that to you and they're like, oh,
I'll do it, and they've never once even picked up
the phone.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
You have to do it, I tell yeah, and I
know I can't. It's hard for me to can't advocate
for I can advocate for women, but especially for men,
like it is so necessary, it is so necessary. This
man in counseling broke me down, like to like my core,
and I was like crying for months every time, like sobbing,
(36:20):
until he finally like broke through all the layers and
like I and I like I literally went in there
and I was like, dude, I hate myself and I
think everyone else hates me, you know what I mean? Like,
and I said, and they're not wrong. I'm a terrible person.
Like and he literally was like, you know what, You're right.
I looked at your record. You're a real piece of shit,
(36:41):
and I was.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Like, that's amazing though, that you can say how old
are you me?
Speaker 3 (36:47):
I'm forty one, okay.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
So being able to come into your own meaning you're
in your forties, you already have that, Okay, I've been
here for a minute. I know how life work a
little bit, but it's a different level being able to
peel those layers apart and be like, well, damn, I
didn't know this. I am really this, you know, just
(37:12):
sitting in all of that and realizing that you can
now make that change and say.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
I don't have to be this.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
I was probably this because of X, Y and Z,
and I don't have to have that now.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Oh one percent the things I picked up. So my
I was in foster care, I'm I'm I'm an orphan
so and I was abused brutally in foster care, like
there's all the Social service records everything. My name was
changed as a little boy, and I was taken from
(37:46):
literally the ghetto in foster care, and then I was
brought like ulter shock to this small community and put
in a private Catholic school with all the rich kids,
and immediately lashed out like day one, I was like, nope,
I'm not doing any of this.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Do you still talk to your parents, well, your foster parents,
or did you ever get adopted?
Speaker 3 (38:08):
I did, I got adopted. I talked to my mom,
but my dad was extremely abusive verbally and physically to
my mom and me. Okay, and so I I never
had a break in my entire life from violence like ever,
which is not an excuse. It is a reason why
(38:32):
people act a certain way. And this is something I
talk about a lot, but it's not an excuse, and
it's on me or whoever is in that situation to
change and to break the cycle.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I'm so happy to hear someone else say that, because
there are times where someone's like, yeah, but this happened,
and this happened, and this happened, and so I'm gonna
be bitter at the world, and it's like, but the
entire world did not do that. It's a situational thing
or it's an individual person that did that to you.
And it sucks that you had that life growing up.
(39:04):
It sucks that abuse. But like you said, it was
your dad and it wasn't your mom. So a lot
of the times, the.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Brunt of me being such a little jerk when I
was a kid, my mom like always who like literally
is a saint, Like she's my mom does not miss
church as the doors are open, you know what I mean,
Like she's she's a I got to talk about she's
I made her cry one time because I had a
chance to meet my biological mom when I was twenty
(39:34):
six years old. Okay, so I did. I met her.
My sister, who's my biological sister, pushed it really hard.
We got adopted together, and I was totally against it,
but my sister was like, please, I want to do this.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
I love my sister. So I was like, Okay, I
meet this woman at twenty six years old, and I
literally I remember it was a short. It was brief
because I couldn't I couldn't deal with it mentally, I
was I am not mentally as strong as my sister
by any means, Like She's a rock and I'm just
(40:12):
a wreck if something goes wrong, you know what I mean, Like,
I'm totally messed up in the head. But so I
leave and I like, I called my mom who adopted me,
and I'm just sobbing, and I was like, I'm so
sorry for everything I ever said to you, for everything
I put you through, Like I just learned things that
I didn't know. And I was and I say in
(40:35):
the same breath, I was like, why didn't you just
tell me? And She's like I tried, you know, And
I was like, geez.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Well, eight age is a factor in that too, because
you know, friends that I have, their teenage kids are
at a point where it's like you can't tell them anything.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
They know everything.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Then they transition into the eighteen twenty twenty one and
it's still I know everything.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
I don't want to hear what you have to say,
blah blah.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
So it's like a cycle, right, and then when you
hit your late twenties. That's when you start looking at
things a little bit differently. When you are responsible for
your own stuff, you're like, hold on a second, this
wasn't all about against me. So it is that cycle
of it, and it sucks because here's the cycle. You
love your parents, then you kind of are annoyed with them,
(41:22):
then they know nothing, then you start to realize they
know everything. Then you really get close to them again,
and then it gets to a point where you're like, man,
I wish I had.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
More time with them.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
Yeah, so exactly soever's listening to this podcast right now.
The things I want you to take out of it
are get into counseling. If you need counseling, which I
think everybody does. I think everyone could use it, even
if it's just a session or two. Get into counseling,
Take a step back, reevaluate what you're doing, and change
(41:52):
what you need to do to make yourself happy and
feel whole. I think those are two big things because
you were, let's just be honest, you were literally running
through women looking for something, looking for love, looking for
your next you know, thirty second feeling or whatever it was,
and you didn't realize that you're literally using these women
(42:15):
to gain something that you were missing.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
You didn't even know what you were missing.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
Well, that it's that high and men, it breaks my
heart because I want to advocate for men so much
and the ability to change and do better. But the
fact is that it's very quick to be satisfied. It's
very and the high of when you first meet somebody
is like extreme. It's an extreme high and you feel
(42:41):
so great, you feel so loved, and you feel like, God,
this person loves me more than anybody's ever loved me
in the whole world. And the thing is that comes
down in every relationship. Right, it right not to go away,
It shouldn't go away, but it comes down.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
It's not this right, it's not meant to stay like
that forever.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Yeah, when you have issues that you have handled in
your past, that high can turn into a really deep
depression when it starts to come down, and you instantly
you got to go find something else because you need
it again.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Right, Well, and then it does, You're right, it kind
of creeps into that relationship. So if you're on this
high in that relationship and it starts coming down and
you're like, wait a minute, something's off something's different, and
they don't want to like admit right and do a
deep dive that it's something within them. Then that's when
they're lashing out, or arguments happen, or they go find
it somewhere else. You know, all of those things are
(43:33):
a mix for a bad cocktail.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Honestly, it's dangerous.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
Quite frankly, Yeah, it hurts people's for the emotional scars.
I mean they probably last a lifetime, you know, I
mean they definitely do so well.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Listen, I want to thank you so much for coming
on and sharing your story. Like I said, we're here
on Anthony's side. I don't I don't even know the
person's name. I don't care to know the name. It's
just I met Anthony, he had his I'm like, let's
hear it. You said, well, I have not shared the
complete story with anyone, so I was like, all right,
this is the best place to do it. Let's get
all the tea on it. I'm glad you're in therapy.
(44:11):
I'm glad you're in a healthy relationship. I'm happy for
you that you dug yourself out of a very tough place,
because that is hard, and not everyone is able to
do that right. So congratulations to you for saying, hey,
I'm going to stick it out.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
I'm going to do it.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
I'm going to dig myself out however I need to.
I'm proud of you for doing that the journey, I'm
proud of you, and I'm proud of you for learning that.
You know, as a female who has been used before.
I think every single one of us at some point
has been used in some kind of way. Hearing from you,
who and this is going to sound harsh, ran through
(44:53):
so many people and so many women without even thinking
twice to hear you say, oh my goodness, that was
so wrong and I can't believe I did that.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
I feel horrible for doing that.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
This hopefully will get to some of the right people
and they will realize, hey, that's not okay, And not
to excuse, because I have a lot of female listeners
and I hope that not to excuse their behavior, but
I hope that some people realize it wasn't you, and
it wasn't what you were doing. But you have to
(45:27):
also look at the other person mentally what they were
going through. Yes, the using thing is completely wrong, but
maybe they were going through something so bad that had
nothing to do with you, because as women, we take
it on and like, well, what did we do? And
this must have been our fault. It's not your fault.
They might have had something crazy going on. Let that
(45:51):
stuff go, move on from it. And then again, you
can also do your counseling.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
So it is not anybody's job to fix the other person,
Like if the other person didn't come equipped and ready
to grow, it is not your job to heal who
was a perfect stranger just a few days ago or
weeks ago, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
I think especially women need to realize that because I
even today, like when I tell this story from people,
Oh well I wouldn't have treated you that. Yeah, you
would have because I was a dick. Yeah, Like, don't
say that. You don't need to want to fix me.
You don't shouldn't want to fix me. I should fix me,
and then when I'm a better version of me, then
(46:37):
then you should be Okay, we can be friends, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Yeah, honestly, Anthony, it's why I stayed single for as
long as I did, over four years, and I'm dating
someone's been almost six months and i'm dating him now.
But It's been a road for him too, because I'm
very hard on what I want, what I don't want,
what I have experienced, not experienced, what I know will work,
what I know will not work.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
We've had a lot of.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
Difficult conversations, We've had a lot of I'm super independent.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Maybe I just don't need.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
This, so's there's a lot of growing. But at no
point do I want to or should I want to
fix him, because then that's taken on a project and
not a partners. So on that note, I'm so thankful
Anthony that you came on and you shared with us.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
We'll have to have you on again. I enjoyed this.
We have to have you on again. But that's it.
You guys were out
Ooh seven. I like to keep it real simple.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
All right, you guys, it's Wednesday. Today we have the
one and only singer songwriter Anthony Nix with us. Welcome, Welcome, Anthony.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
How are you good to be here?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You know it's crazy. I'm good. I'm crazy busy, and
I know you are too. But it's good to finally
be able to connect because I know we've been trying
to do this for months now.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
I've fan girl over here a little bit, so yeah,
I've been I've been waiting to get to talk about
stop it.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
So how did we meet?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
We met on TikTok live thanks soyvia a while ago.
I knew nothing about you and we you were in
your car. I think you were singing in your car,
that makes sense. It was just a random live. I
was just scrolling. You were singing in your car. I
popped in and I think you said something like, oh,
(01:09):
I know, like savage, my mom whatever, and I was like, yeah,
oh hi, like I did.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I don't know. I just kind of hung out in there.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Uh. So that's how I first came across your content.
And then I would see you live, see you singing,
and I remember one time popping in, and there was drama,
then not drama. Then you were sick and not sick.
We're about to dive into all of the juicy details,
so let's let's rewind back to my memory.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Everything seemed kind of cool.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
And calm and collective.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
You were singing. Is that how you got started? First
of all?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Is that how you got started on TikTok? Like you
were doing singing?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
That's the reason I got started. But I actually have
another account that did pretty well that I got permanently
removed from TikTok. On me I used to do. I
used to battle my friend Kingry a lot on in dances,
and I got a little two into one.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
You took your clothes off.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I was banned for something with the word adult in it.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yes, adult nudity.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Yes, I was banned for adult. Wait how much what
did you have left on? I? So it wasn't It
was the equivalent of seeing plumber crack literally in a
dance move, and that was it.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
So you took your shirt off, you had pants on,
and you bent down and we sell butt crack. Yes, okay,
so you were thirst trapping that's how you started on TikTok. Yes, Okay, okay,
let's even go further back. What do you do for
a living? Are you a plumber?
Speaker 4 (02:47):
But no, just said I went to ask when I
first started TikTok, and actually that's pretty I didn't have
anything going on in life.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I had just come out of something.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Terrible, which was what don't skip past that?
Speaker 3 (03:03):
So I I and a lot of people know this
on TikTok. Now I actually at one point.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Wait wait, wait, time out, time out, time out, go back?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Before that?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
What were you doing before TikTok? Because I want people
to see the whole picture here, So before TikTok started,
before your drama started, what were you doing, like prior
to all of that.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Always I always played music on the side, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
But what was your main job though?
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I owned a real estate business.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Oh okay, so you own real estate.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
You would sing to your clients by this house, by
this house.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
I actually had a nickname before that, even because I
got I did fifteen years in the in the auto industry.
I was a finance manager.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Okay, so you financed. Oh you're a salesman. You're a
sleet flick knocker. Okay, now we know.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Okay, so salesperson salesperson finance, because you know you've got
to have that slat tongue to be a finance person. Okay,
so fine, I nance then real estate. Then you're like, well,
I'm gonna try my hand at singing, and then you
come on TikTok and thirst trap.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
So in between your slick salesman and your thirst trap
plumber crack stuff, you had some drama going. Yes, okay,
let's talk about the drama. Lay it out on us.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
So I was actually facing one hundred and seventeen years
in prison.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Oh wait, say that one more time. One hundred and seventeen.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Years seventeen years in prison?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Was it for the finance stuff?
Speaker 3 (04:32):
No, I'm from a small town.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
And in what state? What state are you from?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
In Wisconsin?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Okay? A cheesehead?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Uh not really. I'm not your typical cheesehead.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Okay, you're like bree cheese like, you're like bougie.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
No, I'm not a big cheese person, la tolerant.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Okay, okay, so you get the shits all right, all right,
you can't be a cheesehead people, Okay, Okay, No I was.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
I was in a very very toxic relationship.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
How long was this relationship.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
We were together for two years and it was the
we were kind of like a local power couple, I
would say for a small town. Anyways, Okay, I was
doing really well in real estate, really well in music
in the state of Wisconsin.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
And what was she doing.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
She is like a leader for while she was seemingly
a leader for like women. She won like some local
awards as like young Business Professional of the Year and
things like that. But actually her mom owned the business
and she worked for her mom.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Okay, what was the business, Like, was she in real
estate as well?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
No, it was she was a salesperson for clothing, women's clothing. Okay, yeah,
but there was. They owned several stores. Okay, so they
had kind.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Of so you guys were romantic got into this two
year relationship. Both were slick on the sales side.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
And what happened.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
It just after I mean it was that hot and heavy,
super super fast like in love overnight like okay, which
is very dangerous and toxic and horrible, but that's the
way it went down. Like talked about getting married like
weeks into the relationship, which is just crazy, Like now,
(06:26):
I know, years.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Ago, I don't know if some people out there might
argue with that and say they knew they got married
and they are still together.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
To each their own, I guess, to each their own. Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
So yeah, so you guys went like you dove in.
You were all in from like minute one, okay, yes,
and then.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
The turmoil probably started six months and then.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
What's the turmoil? What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
This jealousy and arguments about I would travel for work.
She was very pretty, she modeled, She did a whole
bunch of things. She would, you know, have pictures and
things on the internet and I was like, come one,
who's in your DM. She'd be like, who's in your DM?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Oh? So it was mutual. It wasn't just one way
or the other.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
Class of the title, ah okay, okay, yes.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
And we tried to hold on in that toxicity for
a year and a half, okay, which is hell.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
That's always wondering, always questioning.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
That's that's hard. That's a lot well in.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
The fights, and it just it just it was the
most toxic thing you could imagine. My fault, this is
once her fault. However, at the end, she trumps me
with the toxicity and I ended up with the police.
I had just gotten back from Nashville. I'd taken pictures
(07:54):
with some pretty big country musicians. I was, and I
had told her that I was playing on leaving and
movie back to Nashville because I had lived there previously.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Okay, so you were basically telling her you were done.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Yeah, I was. I was done, you know. And we
had broken up forty three times in a year and
a half.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Okay, you know what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:13):
What what Cloud did? Or well, like, what did that mean?
Who knows? But I told her I was I was
going back to Nashville, went to Nashville, came back home.
I went to kind of figure out where I wanted
to live and do some networking and stuff. Came back
home to a card in my front door from a
sheriff's deputy that said I needed to call him. I
called him and he said, you are going to be arrested.
(08:38):
We need you to come in, and I was like
for what. He didn't want to tell me. It terrified me.
So I called a lawyer and I was like what
do I do? And he's like, well, how are you
hiring me? I was like, I guess, So I hired
this lawyer. He calls in, calls me back in like
a half an hour, and he's like, you're going to
be charged with nine felonies and you're not going home?
(09:02):
Like and I was like whoa. I was like, what
are you talking about? And he's like, they have to
do with an ex girlfriend, that's all they'll tell me.
And I'm like an ex girlfriend, Like it is it?
Are we exited? Are we together? Like? What are we doing?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
So you weren't even sure if it was her?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I didn't know. I was like, what couldn't talk to her?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Okay, y'all get your popcorn ready because this is about
to get juicy.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Okay, keep going.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
So anyways, yeah, did you get into the police station?
I turned myself in Okay, and there I get arrested
and literally nine felonies.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And then like they arrested you and put you in
jail and you had to stay there.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Right away because there were nine felonies they put They
gave me a I believe the first day was an
eighty eighty thousand dollars cash bomb.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
WHOA did anyone have eighty K to put? Who had
eighty K put up for you?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
I was a pretty regular guy and I am I
didn't just have eighty thousand dollars laying around like that's
not normal really, you know. So I'm sitting sitting, sitting,
sitting and went and pled not guilty. And I and
I talked that I recall is wait, you mean you.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Mean sitting like you're sitting in jail.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
I was in jail.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Oh it took me.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
It took me four months to get the bond lower.
It took I sent you out for four months.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Okay, what holy macro, what were these felonies? List?
Speaker 3 (10:34):
List some of them as they are stalking? It was
a burglary like some something with harassment, intimidation all it
was just this and they just so there was like
stalking was a lot. That was the premise of the
of time situation, and that was the charge that kept
(10:57):
being It was repeated.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I don't even know what was the base of the stalking.
Was it telephone texts?
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Like you went said the police while I was gone
and said that we had broken up a year and
a half before. And I just couldn't get it through
my head.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Oh is there truth to them?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
No? And that's free man.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
I'm just I'm just asking you.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Okay, So you sit in jail four months they're stalking,
there's menacing, there's harassment, there's.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
All sorts of crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Just okay, it's.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Sacking up, stacking upside and I'm sitting there and.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
What are you doing in jail?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
What do you do in jail?
Speaker 1 (11:39):
You can what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Yeah, freaked out, terrified, but I mean, what do you do?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Like you're sitting in there and you're like, I didn't
do any of this, So then what do you do?
Do you call your attorneys?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Do you call?
Speaker 3 (11:47):
I would call my lawyer and my sisters would be
able to I have three sisters who are like my
best friends in the whole world. Like they talked to
me every day. My mom talked to me every day.
Other women business owners that I did work with in
the community talk to me every day. I came to
visit me and they all kind of went to work
for me because I couldn't help myself. And I said,
(12:09):
you all need to go to my house. You need
to give my cell phone, you need to get my computer,
you need to get everything and give it to the police.
And my lawyer was like, no, don't do that. And
I was like, no, go do that now.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Why did your attorney say no?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
He said that once I handed that stuff over, if
there was anything I didn't know about that was incriminating,
I could get in even more trouble. And I said,
and I can't tell him. I'm like, dude, they got
the wrong guy. I want them to have all my information.
I want them to have access to everything. I have
nothing to hide. But he was hired and he would
(12:49):
not give it over. So they all they had at
this point was the cell phone I had when I
turned myself in Wow, which I didn't have everything because
it didn't have everything from the cloud backed up for however.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Long for the year and a half or whatever.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Okay, So finally I get all this information to them,
they lower the bond because they know if charges are
about to get drunned.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
So, but you sit in jail for four months, how
do you how do you not daily? Daily?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I so this is where and if the long story
is how everything changed. When I started TikTok and I started,
I was in a terrible place, like I wanted to
not be alive anymore.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I wanted to like, yeah, because if you're sitting there
every single day knowing, Okay, I didn't do this, I
didn't do this how do I get out?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
How do I get out? And no one's helping you.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
There's got to be times where you're thinking, like, what's
the point?
Speaker 3 (13:50):
It was. There was a lot of times when I
thought what's the point? And the days where I just
would give up and be like I guess I have
to figure out how to get used to this life,
like this is it?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (14:00):
So you overcome that mentally within the four month timeframe,
obviously because you kept fighting. So you fight, you give
them the information. They lower your bond. What was the
bond lower too?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
They dropped it to a ten thousand dollars cash bond
because they were still charges you. Once you're in and
you're charged, they don't just one day go away. There's
the prosecution was like this guy was because and this
is this is the hard part behind it. I was
a bad kid growing up, like I had juv, I
(14:36):
had been arrested. I didn't do anything like this.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yeah, but that played into okay, this could potentially be
a bar fight.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Every you know, everything from being expelled in high school
came out, you know what I mean. They're like, hey,
he's a bad guy. We're taking this all the way.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
So they lower the bond.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Okay, bond out for a ten thousand dollars cash bond. Okay,
and I home and I told my lawyer, I was like,
I want like, I want to leave, Like I'm not
going to run from this, but I want to, like,
I gotta get out of here. I live in a
small town. This is crazy. There's a newspaper article out
now I could. I remember going to the grocery store
and feeling like people just they wanted to kill me,
(15:16):
Like I felt so small and just horrible. I was like,
So I was like, can I leave the state. So
I had to ask for mission to leave the state
and go to Tennessee, and I left. I went back
to Tennessee for a while, kept working on music because
that's kind of what was my happy place. I lost
my real estate license. Obviously I wasn't going to do
business local.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Wait wait, how did you?
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Okay, so you get out and the chargers are still there,
so like nothing had been settled.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Still there, Okay. I still had to fight these charges, however,
they lowered. So they lowered the bond because we were
able to present some evidence. But the process goes as such,
you you're not really fighting your trial. Until trial, you're
allowed to present some evidence to help you along the way,
but a judge will only allow you to present so
(16:05):
much until you decide to go to try.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
So when was trial from when you got arrested?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Here's the here's the crazy part. Small town, right, A
small town kind of the bad boy? I definitely. I
was also a good athlete in bands when I was younger.
I had a lot of girlfriends in a small town.
So I left, came back, I went to I was
(16:33):
at a meeting at my lawyer's house at his office,
which looks like a house down by the lake, and
SWAT team rolls up at my meeting, arrests me again,
throws me back in jail again with another eighty thousand
dollars cash bond.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
What was this for?
Speaker 3 (16:55):
All the same stuff? So what they did while I
was gone is her and this detective who's local, and
their kids go to school together and blah blah blah
blah blah, buddies, I have a video. Like. The thing
people don't know is after a trial, you get all
the videos, you get, all the evidence, you get. I
(17:16):
have everything. I've seen it.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Okay, so you get arrested again.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
So she goes around with him to talk to everybody
I have ever dated since like middle school. They interviewed
ninety women in the.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
State of Okay, Listen, you got around, I.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Got it round and I'm not about That's the thing.
I don't live that life remark, and I'm hoping about it.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Listen, you didn't even have hose in other area code.
You kept them all in this same That was your problem.
That was your problem. Lord, have mercy, Lord have mercy, sir.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
This was a major like, this was the biggest trial.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Okay, So you get arrested again. You're saying, there's a
witch hunt. Look, we don't know. I don't know what's
going on. I'm hearing this story for the very first time.
There's a witch hunt. You get thrown back in this lammer.
How long were you back in again before trial?
Speaker 3 (18:13):
So this time the judge was obviously very familiar with
the case because months had gone by. He had talked
to her several times. He had talked to me several
times on my attorney. She came in. Detective comes in
on this one. This time they tried to say, and
I talked about it. I've never I'm not charged with it.
(18:34):
They tried to charge me with SSA, okay, and it
was her, so the other charges weren't sticking. So now
she was like, well, there was one point while we
were dating a year, it was like literally a year
and a half, and she said, we got in an
(18:55):
argument and blah blah blah blah blah, and if she
would have been nicer to me, it wouldn't be that.
But he and this is literally her burbage, but he
wasn't nice to me after that, and he accused me
of cheating on him the next day and blah blah blah.
So anyways, the judge is listening to her and listening
(19:16):
to the end. He literally says in front of everybody
and it's like, I said, this is all public record.
This doesn't add up. Something's not adding up. No, that
charge is not allowed in this case. So immediately removed
from the table, okay. And he's like so then they
(19:38):
were like, well, this girl said this, and this girl
said this and nothing like that, but just that I
was me like that, I was not a nice guy. Okay,
no essay, no stocking, no anything like that. But well
he's been a jerk for all these years. So two
of her friends out of the ninety women who I
also had relationships with, We're like, he's a jerk, and
(20:02):
so they tried to charge me with like domestic stuff
with them from years before.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Okay, all of it gets dropped, okay.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
And thrown out at the end of the day. So
what happens is.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
So how long were you in jail though? When on the.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Second time, At that time, it was like a week. Okay,
I just had to wait for the hearing to get
the bomb dropped. I knew what was happening, and it
was and my lawyer said, they're going to keep They're
just going to stack because right now there's been articles
out and they've been coming after you for a year
and they've exhausted a lot of funds coming after you,
(20:39):
so there's no way they're.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Just going to just drop it.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Okay, So you're in jail for another week. Then what happens?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
So I go home after that, I do a ten
thousand dollars cast. They drop it again, so now they
have twenty thousand dollars and I'm on the twenty thousand
dollars cash bond, and then it's just crickets for months.
You hear nothing. I'm waiting months for another court date.
The day before the court date to the decide if
(21:07):
I wanted to go to a jury trial.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Okay, I which okay, would the jury trial be there
in that city and that town or did you have
to say?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Oh? Okay?
Speaker 3 (21:16):
However, I still wanted to go because, okay, I knew
what I had, okay, which is what saved literally saved
my life at the end of the day. Okay, I'm weird.
I save everything, like I say, and to this day,
I save every conversation.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Well, I'm sure now you do.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Absolutely, I'm a weirdo about it. I'm like, nope, strain's
not saved.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
You're like, save that puppy. Okay. So you spend a weekend,
there's months of crickets again.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
So then it's it's crickets. And then all of a sudden,
the day before I'm about to go to this jury trial,
the district attorney calls and says, and this is unheard of,
literally unheard of here anyways, if if he agrees to
become a felon, will drop all the rest of the
charges today. And I was like, what, you took a
(22:11):
year of my life. I've spent four and a half
months in jail. Every penny I have, I've lost my career,
I've lost everything. Now you're telling me after they went
through my computer, because I finally got to give them everything.
So these months, that's what they were doing, was going
through and I found out after they've got warrants for Apple, Facebook, Instagram, everything.
(22:37):
When they looked through all of that, they realized that
she had literally sent me nudes and told me that
she loved me and everything. The day before she called police,
and every day before that the entire time. Wow, And
(22:58):
so all of a sudden they were like, shit.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Give it.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Why would they say you need to be a felon
or agree to be in a felon?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I don't understand that piece of it.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
So according to my lawyer, and I don't know, I'm
not a lawyer, and by any means, but according to
my lawyer, and from what I learned in that year
long of dealing with this, if the prosecution spends that
much time and that much money, if even if they
don't get any of those charges, but I get one charge,
they technically win, and politically, well.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Then why wouldn't they switch it over to a person
who had the false accusations and charge that person.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
So then they take they win.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Because of victim witness protection rights in the state of Wiscons.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I know nothing about the court system. I'm not even
going to protect there.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Are in the state of Wisconsin. There are victim witness
protection rights. And even if it is proven that it
didn't happen, the victim is still the victim and can
never be prosecuted.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Oh okay, okay, So they give you this plea deal, right,
is that what it's called a plea deal?
Speaker 3 (24:05):
A plea deal? Okay, they give me a plea deal.
So I become a felon for reckless endangerment of public
safety for a for an argument that I was in
and unrelated in twenty fifteen.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
That's what I mean with a girl with a girl.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Yeah, okay, so I'm in an argument drinking, we're out
at the bars, no physical altercation. In fact, my dumbass
tried to jump out of a moving vehicle.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Oh Anthony, I was reckless.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
They was totally reckless. Did I deserve in twenty fifteen
a felony for reckless endangerment? Yes? And I totally tell everyone.
I'm like, yeah, I definitely in twenty fifteen, deserved that
felony in twenty twenty when I would have never jumped
out of a moving vehicle.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Okay, so they come to you, they say, here's a
plea deal. Do you take it right right then and there,
or do you talk to your attorney like.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Hey, no, I said no. Okay, I said no, and
my attorney is like, I called my mom, called much this,
I called everyone who mattered, you know, and I was like, look,
this is the way this is going to go. I
can take this plea deal and become a felon and
have to fight for my life back after this, or
(25:24):
I keep fighting and maybe I went and it's it's
all goes away.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
And what did they say?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
My family basically was like they were like, the damage
is done. It's never going away. They were like, even
if you're not a felon, even if you do not
become a felon after this, this town is not going
to forgive you. Nobody's going to change their mind. They
set the articles out the damage is done.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Well, you should have known that after about sixty seventy
women in that small town.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I was young and dumb. I've fully, fully, we've.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
All been young and dumb, but sixty seventy eighty ninety
like not that dumb?
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Well I was, I was heavy.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Yeah, what have we learned, Anthony? To keep our what
in our what?
Speaker 3 (26:12):
I was, No, I don't. My life is complete, okay,
all right?
Speaker 2 (26:15):
So fell So everyone's like take the felony, take it.
Everyone's telling you take it.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Everyone's like to take it.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Okay, and so.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
So I weigh the options and I go back. I
talk to my alarm. I'm like, what is it, Like,
where are we financially? And this was the dagger, and
he's like, hey, like we're good right now. But this
jury trial is going to cost you a fortune. And
(26:44):
he told me the number and I was like, I
don't have that.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
But there was no way for you to countersue at
any point for false anything because of the victim thing.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
I've tried it, okay, and it's just the process is
so hard.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
So you talk to everyone and they say take it.
Your attorneys is gonna cost you a lot of money.
You say, I don't have it, So then what do
you do?
Speaker 3 (27:08):
I took the deal. The judge. The judge, so the
deal held. Technically eleven years in prison still it's a
felam and it's reckless endangerment to public safety.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
So well I go into the last day of all
of this and I say, yeah, I'll take it. And
now it's at the judge's mercy. You either go to
prison or you go home. And I was fully ready
to go to prison, like but eleven years as a
(27:44):
maximum opposed to that one hundred and seventeen. I was
broken down mentally, like I was just I was tired,
like I was, I was complete. I wasn't this person was.
I was a different person. And I was like, that
was it. I gave up. And I'm like, I don't have
what it takes that financially, mentally, anything anymore. I give up.
(28:04):
I'm done. I learned my freaking lesson from you know,
my whole life changed, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
So you go into the courtroom that day not knowing
what's gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, And so he he talked to me for a
little while and he said, and I'll go into this
a little bit after if you want. But uh, he
said to me, and I'll never forget I wish this
would have gone to a jury trial. Those are his
words on the record, and I wanted to stop and
(28:35):
be like, I changed my mind. Why he said, I'm
going to put you on probation because I don't know
how credible the other side is. But I also do
know that you, young man, have had a long life of
doing dumb shit rightfully, So I mean he was totally right,
(28:57):
you know what I mean because and he said, at
this point, the crimes you were charged of, there's never
been any proof you did any of that. However, I
think your past finally caught up with you and you're
going to pay this price. Don't mess up, or you're
going to face all of it. And that was scared straight,
(29:19):
like sure, okay, done.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Like okay, so what did so? He said probation? How long?
How long is probation?
Speaker 3 (29:28):
It gave me five years of probation.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
And that started win.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
That was in twenty twenty, so I still have a
year left. However, I'm on like I don't have to,
which this is where I keep getting left out of everything, Okay,
like awards and things like that I've been nominated for
I don't even freaking know. But they always reach back
out and they're like, dude, there's a five year limit.
(29:54):
There's a five year after your five years, you can
win whatever you want to win. And I'm like, why.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Is so five years after your fell it after your probation's.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Over, or five years literally next year you.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Could start with it?
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (30:08):
What kind of awards? What kind of awards are we
talking about? Music awards?
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Music awards? I've been nominated for Midwest Artists of the Year,
Songwriter of the Year, Male Vocalists of the Year, which
is like what for what? So it's called the Whammy Awards,
and then Midwest Country Music Awards like our small Grammy
and ACM kind of awards, Okay, and like, yeah, I
(30:36):
get nominated every time in the past three years, and
they're like, dude, we love you, but you have to wait.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Okay, so what now? I need to say this because
we're only hearing your side. We have not heard anyone
else's side. So this is this is Anthony's account. I'm
not taking anyone side. I'm just listening to what you
have been telling me. What have you learned in all
of this?
Speaker 3 (31:04):
I think that the biggest thing to take from it
for me personally anyways, is when a relationship gets toxic,
when you lie, when you cheat. There is no coming back.
There is no if you break up, if there's this
constant breakup because there's no trust, like that's it. You
(31:26):
have to be mature enough to be like this is
at the end of the road, because it does not
get better. I don't believe that. I've seen it. I've
watched other cases. My situation. I lived that for years
being this honestly just being a douchebag and being super
dishonest and super you know what I mean. Like, and
(31:46):
yet does it physically hurt anybody, No, But emotionally that
really messes with people and absolutely emotionally messed with the
wrong person, and they want to nail you to a cross.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Like I think sometimes people looking from the outside and
looking at other people that I know, they're like, well,
I want to hurt him or her just as much
as they hurt me.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
And I'm like just walk away, like just let it go,
Just let it go.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Wow, that's an insane last few years. Okay, So twenty
twenty happens, you're on probation, you start TikTok, where are
you now?
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Do you have children? Did you have children before? Are
you in a relationship?
Speaker 3 (32:34):
I have I'm in a super healthy relationship. I have
a beautiful sixteen month old daughter. I have a seventeen
year old son who is a little mini version of me,
which terrifies me. But he's a lot more. He's well behaved.
He's never going to arrest.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Okay, I'm like, please tell me he's not following in
near footsteps.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Oh no, he's well behaved.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Is he with his mom? Does she have custody or
do you guys joint or do you see.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Him my son? So, yeah, and we that's the crazy
part when they the past women. You know, while obviously
my history with her was the wrong, like literally the strongest.
She was totally in my corner. She's like, dude, you're
an asshole, but like you're I mean, like hmm, like
(33:22):
this is crazy, and so it's she never it. Luckily,
it never affected that relationship in a in a bad way.
In fact, I didn't know she would be in my corner.
I kind of didn't expect that at all.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
So, so, what what have you changed in your thought
process now as far as how you handle your relationships
and cutting ties? Not cutting ties because it has to
cross over to friendships too, not just relationships.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Oh it has so one of the things that that
I don't drink, I don't. I don't drink at all,
not even gonna drop.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
That's great.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I used to drink a lot. I used to drink
a lot, and I used to part I lived this
weird once. Most salesmen, you know, drink a lot and
party a lot after work, and I typically aren't. I'm sorry,
but I can speak from experience. Are not the nicest guys.
So I did that. And then on top of that,
I would go be the front man in whatever cover
(34:22):
band I was playing in every Friday and Saturday night.
So that's extra douchey. And now you have this boiling
pot of super douche And I just lived this life
for most of my adult life, and I'm blunt about it.
I know it sounds horrible, but like it's it's completely true,
and it's moving like now in life. I'm like, dude,
(34:45):
I like, I avoid all this this stuff, like the
play after shows, I've run to my truck. I don't
care where I am and I don't even talk to people,
which sounds arrogant or mean, but I'm like, I just
don't want to be in the middle, you know.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
And in that Lifeele did you do any co counseling?
Did you do any counseling?
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Though intense I was in counseling, I still am in
counseling good as often as I was, and I was
never core ordered. I actually put myself in counseling because
when I got out of jail the first time, when
I was dealing with that, I really didn't want to be.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Yeah, listen, no matter anyone's circumstance. I am a big fan.
I do counseling as well. I'm a big fan of
people because, you know what, whether it be relationships, whether
it be depression, whether it be your parent issues, whatever
it is, I feel like getting into that counseling listening
(35:42):
to an impartial party who is just there to help you,
does amazing things and works wonder So I'm proud of
you for that cause I have a lot of male
friends that I suggest that to you and they're like, oh,
I'll do it, and they've never once even picked up
the phone.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
You have to do it, I tell yeah, and I
know I can't. It's hard for me to can't advocate
for I can advocate for women, but especially for men,
like it is so necessary, it is so necessary. This
man in counseling broke me down, like to like my core,
and I was like crying for months every time, like sobbing,
(36:20):
until he finally like broke through all the layers and
like I and I like I literally went in there
and I was like, dude, I hate myself and I
think everyone else hates me, you know what I mean? Like,
and I said, and they're not wrong. I'm a terrible person.
Like and he literally was like, you know what, You're right.
I looked at your record. You're a real piece of shit,
(36:41):
and I was.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Like, that's amazing though, that you can say how old
are you me?
Speaker 3 (36:47):
I'm forty one, okay.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
So being able to come into your own meaning you're
in your forties, you already have that, Okay, I've been
here for a minute. I know how life work a
little bit, but it's a different level being able to
peel those layers apart and be like, well, damn, I
didn't know this. I am really this, you know, just
(37:12):
sitting in all of that and realizing that you can
now make that change and say.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
I don't have to be this.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
I was probably this because of X, Y and Z,
and I don't have to have that now.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Oh one percent the things I picked up. So my
I was in foster care, I'm I'm I'm an orphan
so and I was abused brutally in foster care, like
there's all the Social service records everything. My name was
changed as a little boy, and I was taken from
(37:46):
literally the ghetto in foster care, and then I was
brought like ulter shock to this small community and put
in a private Catholic school with all the rich kids,
and immediately lashed out like day one, I was like, nope,
I'm not doing any of this.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Do you still talk to your parents, well, your foster parents,
or did you ever get adopted?
Speaker 3 (38:08):
I did, I got adopted. I talked to my mom,
but my dad was extremely abusive verbally and physically to
my mom and me. Okay, and so I I never
had a break in my entire life from violence like ever,
which is not an excuse. It is a reason why
(38:32):
people act a certain way. And this is something I
talk about a lot, but it's not an excuse, and
it's on me or whoever is in that situation to
change and to break the cycle.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I'm so happy to hear someone else say that, because
there are times where someone's like, yeah, but this happened,
and this happened, and this happened, and so I'm gonna
be bitter at the world, and it's like, but the
entire world did not do that. It's a situational thing
or it's an individual person that did that to you.
And it sucks that you had that life growing up.
(39:04):
It sucks that abuse. But like you said, it was
your dad and it wasn't your mom. So a lot
of the times, the.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Brunt of me being such a little jerk when I
was a kid, my mom like always who like literally
is a saint, Like she's my mom does not miss
church as the doors are open, you know what I mean,
Like she's she's a I got to talk about she's
I made her cry one time because I had a
chance to meet my biological mom when I was twenty
(39:34):
six years old. Okay, so I did. I met her.
My sister, who's my biological sister, pushed it really hard.
We got adopted together, and I was totally against it,
but my sister was like, please, I want to do this.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
I love my sister. So I was like, Okay, I
meet this woman at twenty six years old, and I
literally I remember it was a short. It was brief
because I couldn't I couldn't deal with it mentally, I
was I am not mentally as strong as my sister
by any means, Like She's a rock and I'm just
(40:12):
a wreck if something goes wrong, you know what I mean, Like,
I'm totally messed up in the head. But so I
leave and I like, I called my mom who adopted me,
and I'm just sobbing, and I was like, I'm so
sorry for everything I ever said to you, for everything
I put you through, Like I just learned things that
I didn't know. And I was and I say in
(40:35):
the same breath, I was like, why didn't you just
tell me? And She's like I tried, you know, And
I was like, geez.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Well, eight age is a factor in that too, because
you know, friends that I have, their teenage kids are
at a point where it's like you can't tell them anything.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
They know everything.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Then they transition into the eighteen twenty twenty one and
it's still I know everything.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
I don't want to hear what you have to say,
blah blah.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
So it's like a cycle, right, and then when you
hit your late twenties. That's when you start looking at
things a little bit differently. When you are responsible for
your own stuff, you're like, hold on a second, this
wasn't all about against me. So it is that cycle
of it, and it sucks because here's the cycle. You
love your parents, then you kind of are annoyed with them,
(41:22):
then they know nothing, then you start to realize they
know everything. Then you really get close to them again,
and then it gets to a point where you're like, man,
I wish I had.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
More time with them.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
Yeah, so exactly soever's listening to this podcast right now.
The things I want you to take out of it
are get into counseling. If you need counseling, which I
think everybody does. I think everyone could use it, even
if it's just a session or two. Get into counseling,
Take a step back, reevaluate what you're doing, and change
(41:52):
what you need to do to make yourself happy and
feel whole. I think those are two big things because
you were, let's just be honest, you were literally running
through women looking for something, looking for love, looking for
your next you know, thirty second feeling or whatever it was,
and you didn't realize that you're literally using these women
(42:15):
to gain something that you were missing.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
You didn't even know what you were missing.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
Well, that it's that high and men, it breaks my
heart because I want to advocate for men so much
and the ability to change and do better. But the
fact is that it's very quick to be satisfied. It's
very and the high of when you first meet somebody
is like extreme. It's an extreme high and you feel
(42:41):
so great, you feel so loved, and you feel like, God,
this person loves me more than anybody's ever loved me
in the whole world. And the thing is that comes
down in every relationship. Right, it right not to go away,
It shouldn't go away, but it comes down.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
It's not this right, it's not meant to stay like
that forever.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Yeah, when you have issues that you have handled in
your past, that high can turn into a really deep
depression when it starts to come down, and you instantly
you got to go find something else because you need
it again.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Right, Well, and then it does, You're right, it kind
of creeps into that relationship. So if you're on this
high in that relationship and it starts coming down and
you're like, wait a minute, something's off something's different, and
they don't want to like admit right and do a
deep dive that it's something within them. Then that's when
they're lashing out, or arguments happen, or they go find
it somewhere else. You know, all of those things are
(43:33):
a mix for a bad cocktail.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Honestly, it's dangerous.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
Quite frankly, Yeah, it hurts people's for the emotional scars.
I mean they probably last a lifetime, you know, I
mean they definitely do so well.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Listen, I want to thank you so much for coming
on and sharing your story. Like I said, we're here
on Anthony's side. I don't I don't even know the
person's name. I don't care to know the name. It's
just I met Anthony, he had his I'm like, let's
hear it. You said, well, I have not shared the
complete story with anyone, so I was like, all right,
this is the best place to do it. Let's get
all the tea on it. I'm glad you're in therapy.
(44:11):
I'm glad you're in a healthy relationship. I'm happy for
you that you dug yourself out of a very tough place,
because that is hard, and not everyone is able to
do that right. So congratulations to you for saying, hey,
I'm going to stick it out.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
I'm going to do it.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
I'm going to dig myself out however I need to.
I'm proud of you for doing that the journey, I'm
proud of you, and I'm proud of you for learning that.
You know, as a female who has been used before.
I think every single one of us at some point
has been used in some kind of way. Hearing from you,
who and this is going to sound harsh, ran through
(44:53):
so many people and so many women without even thinking
twice to hear you say, oh my goodness, that was
so wrong and I can't believe I did that.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
I feel horrible for doing that.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
This hopefully will get to some of the right people
and they will realize, hey, that's not okay, And not
to excuse, because I have a lot of female listeners
and I hope that not to excuse their behavior, but
I hope that some people realize it wasn't you, and
it wasn't what you were doing. But you have to
(45:27):
also look at the other person mentally what they were
going through. Yes, the using thing is completely wrong, but
maybe they were going through something so bad that had
nothing to do with you, because as women, we take
it on and like, well, what did we do? And
this must have been our fault. It's not your fault.
They might have had something crazy going on. Let that
(45:51):
stuff go, move on from it. And then again, you
can also do your counseling.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
So it is not anybody's job to fix the other person,
Like if the other person didn't come equipped and ready
to grow, it is not your job to heal who
was a perfect stranger just a few days ago or
weeks ago, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
I think especially women need to realize that because I
even today, like when I tell this story from people,
Oh well I wouldn't have treated you that. Yeah, you
would have because I was a dick. Yeah, Like, don't
say that. You don't need to want to fix me.
You don't shouldn't want to fix me. I should fix me,
and then when I'm a better version of me, then
(46:37):
then you should be Okay, we can be friends, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Yeah, honestly, Anthony, it's why I stayed single for as
long as I did, over four years, and I'm dating
someone's been almost six months and i'm dating him now.
But It's been a road for him too, because I'm
very hard on what I want, what I don't want,
what I have experienced, not experienced, what I know will work,
what I know will not work.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
We've had a lot of.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
Difficult conversations, We've had a lot of I'm super independent.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Maybe I just don't need.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
This, so's there's a lot of growing. But at no
point do I want to or should I want to
fix him, because then that's taken on a project and
not a partners. So on that note, I'm so thankful
Anthony that you came on and you shared with us.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
We'll have to have you on again. I enjoyed this.
We have to have you on again. But that's it.
You guys were out
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