A Savage Fall Weekly Update

Listen as Savage talks trolls, tea, and life lessons.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ooh seven. I like to keep it real simple, sweetly.
Update time. Hey hey, it's the start of another week,
and wow, the update's going to be pretty much all

(00:20):
over the map. You guys are not going to want
to miss one word of this podcast today. It's going
to hit you in your feels. It might, it's gone
definitely make you laugh and maybe said a few tears.
Let's get it. Let's start with the conversation last time

(00:41):
about kids making comments, kids saying things whatever. I was
at my son's game this past weekend and my ex said, hey,
you know, how are things going. How do you feel
about all those things? I said, you know, this is
how I feel about it. I never would say anything

(01:04):
to anyone else's kid. I that's just not for me
to parent anyone. That's just not that's not it. My
way of showing my child that I'm behind him is
just showing support. And if all that is is me
wearing a T shirt to his school and support of him,

(01:25):
then that's what I'm going to do. If all that
is me saying, hey, buddy, you like what you like?
You do you you continue to stay on the path
that you're on, that's all that that is. I really
feel like the most important lesson out of all of
that for my son was his mom has his back,

(01:46):
meaning his mom is always going to be there me
I will always be there for him, so will other
family members, but I'm speaking about myself. I will always
be there for him. I will always support him, I
will always love him, and I am his safe space.
So if he has something going on, I want him
to feel comfortable in telling me. And we're getting to
that age where I can tell he doesn't want to

(02:09):
tell me everything. I don't want to demand everything out
of him, but we're kind of getting to that pedal
point of that's my mom, but I want to keep
some things private. We as parents, we have all been
there if you have a kid that I would say
is nine, not up or a very independent kid. So
I talked to him and I said, how are things going,

(02:32):
you know, with all of that stuff, and he said
it just annoyed me because one person made a comment
to numerous people, and then people kept coming up and
asking me questions, and he said that was what was annoying,
is like, wow, why does anyone really care? So the
lesson of me being there for him was definitely a

(02:53):
great lesson. The other lesson was continue to be who
you are no matter what anyone says. Validate your own
thoughts and feelings on what you like, and don't feel
like other people have to validate and say, oh, well
you're not cool or I don't like that, so I'm
not going to validate it. That was a huge lesson

(03:14):
and I think he's already learned a bit of but
just knowing, hey, I'm okay to do what I want.
I don't have to follow a crowd. I don't have
to succumb to this peer pressure of oh well that's
not cool to have to do this. You know. I
do feel there is this pressure, even more so when
we were growing up. It's like the people that got
the attention were athletes and people like that. So to

(03:39):
have your children in this world now, where the likes,
the comments, the shares, all that stuff matters to them,
it's a whole different ballgame, right And my generation who
was stuck on the athletes are top because people making
it quote unquote to stardom is few and far between.

(04:01):
I feel like those are the parents that are raising
the kids now, and there are a lot of parents
that are still pushing that agenda of well, you need
to be a star athlete. And what I tell my son,
I don't care what you are other than happy you
can play a sport. You cannot play a sport. And
when I say that, I say that loosely because I
want him to play a sport. But listen to what

(04:22):
I say with this, I don't care if you are
the best player, the worst player, or in between. I
need you to do it for fitness, to be able
to run off energy, to be able to stay fit.
That's important. But the other piece is to learn team building.
Because you're an only child. Yes you're gonna learn some

(04:43):
of that at school, but adversities and other pieces, I
want you to learn that as well. So it's a
mental and a physical thing for him. I had a
great career. I don't need to live through him. I
don't need to push him to a point where I'm like,
if you don't do this, you're not getting dinner, or
if you don't do this, you're not Nope. I don't
need to do any of that stuff. I just need
to be his mom. I need to look for his

(05:05):
future and say, okay, statistics show, however many one percent
four percent. Whatever it is that go on to college
end up going even further than that. But the biggest
piece is does he love it? You know, we have
multiple conversations, is this what you like? This is not what
you like? You and try a different sport. Do you
like that sport? I want him to play something. It

(05:26):
does not matter to me what it is. I wanted
to play something so he can get that fitness mentally,
be challenged, but also find a bit of a release.
So find a sport that he enjoys enough that he
can say, you know what, I like going here. I
don't have to be the best, but I enjoy hanging
out with my friends. I enjoy running around, I enjoy
doing X, Y and Z. So that's why the sports

(05:47):
side is important to me. But I feel like with
my generation coming in, it's almost like these kids are
getting a beat down about playing sports. Well, you better
be good and what you did that wrong? And you
did that wrong? And you can see and for someone
that was a coach for so long, you can see
the stress that these parents are putting on their children.
And I just refuse, and it probably pisses off some

(06:09):
of the other parents that I have such a lase
fair approach to it. But I see and have seen
what they're doing to their children, and how five years
down the road, four years down the road, the kids
burnt out or the relationship with the parent is just horrible.
And then, well, my parents made me do this and
I didn't really want to do it, and I wish

(06:29):
I had this time, and I wish I had that time.
And again, take a step back. Look, I don't have
all the answers. I don't even have all the answers
for my own child. But take a step back and
realize for me, I took a step back and I said,
he is so excited to go to this event, not
as excited to go to this event. He obviously loves
and has a passion for this. Now there's gonna be

(06:50):
times where they're not gonna want to go, and as
a parent, you got to push them along and then
they get there and they have a great time. I
get that. What I'm talking about that I have a
problem with is when a parent is like, I don't
care what you want. What I want matters. I don't
care if you want to be good. I'm going to
make sure that you're good because this is what I
need deep down. That's what I have the issue with,

(07:13):
completely have the issue with. So things have gotten better
all the way around. But like I said, my main
goal was to show him. I'm going to support him
and show him you can be whoever you want and
who cares If someone else doesn't like it, that's not
a you problem, that's a them problem, and they'll find
something else eventually. As he said, I didn't tell you

(07:33):
for you know, a couple of weeks because I just
figured they would find something else, which is an extremely
mature way to handle it, but not necessarily something he
should have to handle, if that makes any sense at
his age, like it should. It should be a dude, nah,
like this is what I like. Oh okay, cool, but
it's just not the world that we live in and
that's fine. So being able to talk through things, handle adversities,

(07:56):
and do that with him really made me happy as
a mama bear what I've loved to come in and
literally does handle stuff absolutely as well. But I think
that is me growing and evolving as an adult as
a mom, because if this would have happened twenty years ago,
I would have been all up in the school probably

(08:18):
like what is going on? I would have already emailed
the teacher out or whatever, but taking a step back
one to see if he can handle it first, and
because it got to a point where he's just like
what the heck? Like why is this? Why do people
keep saying this? Or why why is this? Or why
is that? And in might to him it might have
been one or two people or you know whatever, that

(08:39):
was a lot to him. Whatever it was, it was
a big deal. It was more of an annoyance. Then
I'm never going back to school. It wasn't that. It
was just more of an annoyance, And I'm like, that's
not what you should have to deal with, you know,
going to school or going to activities or whatever. So
to report back, it has gotten way better. Everything's great.

(09:00):
You know how kids are. They say something about one thing,
and then a week later whatever, it moves on. So
the fact that he was mature enough to know that
it would eventually end was really good too. So I'm
very proud of him, and I just I love that
kid so much, just like I'm sure everybody else that's
listening to the podcast loves their child. Speaking of love,
while we're in the love circle, right now. I was

(09:22):
told that this has been planned for the last two months.
Two people that have been longtime listeners. One was silent
for a very long time. One I did get to
meet at Josh's birthday party, but two followers, Jules and Ricky,
part of the Savage fam. They came in and surprised

(09:43):
me this past weekend and it was amazing. I was
walking into a store and I look up and Josh's
recording me. He's like, oh, well, what about over here?
And I was like, why are you recording me? I
just figured he was going to make another video making
fun of me about shopping, so I was like whatever,
didn't pay him any attention, and he asked me this
question and I look up and I see jewels and

(10:05):
I see Ricky and I literally screamed out loud. So
I'm sure people in this score were like, what the
heck is going on? Abduction in Aisle six, like they
probably had no move but I literally screamed like I
just couldn't believe it because Ricky, like I said, I
had met Ricky at Josh's birthday party, but it was
really only that day and just for a few hours.
So the fact that one Jules would arrange coming in

(10:31):
from Arizona and Ricky would arrange coming in I'm in
Ohio from Alabama. That they would do that to want
to come hang out with me was so touching, Like
beyond I don't when I have people say, oh, well
you have this phone and you have this, you have that,
I don't equate that to Oh, people want to meet me,

(10:53):
people want to come hang out with me. People are
going to rearrange their time, their day, their mond, their
account anything. That's not what goes in my head of oh,
people are gonna want to do this or they're gonna
want That's just not in my head. So to see
those two standing there and to know what went behind
it for them to get there was so touching, and

(11:16):
I definitely I cried. I cried, for sure. I cried.
And then to know that Josh had taken two months,
you know, of his time and energy and everything as well,
was just it was so sweet on everybody's account, and
I literally had the best time. It was a weekend
of just as Jules said, just rejuvenation. I think all

(11:40):
of us needed it, all of us needed to take
a step back, and it was such It was such
an amazing weekend. So they got there on Friday. We
hung out a little bit. On Friday. I came back,
I don't remember, I had to do something here. Came back,
and then we all met up and I had to
do my live feet on Friday night, and I made
sure they were in the live feed. It was just

(12:00):
it was the best time. I had so much fun. Saturday,
they wanted to come to my son's soccer game. Now,
mind you, I know people like, wait a minute, hold tight, Heather,
you really want people coming to your space, you know,
in your life all of these things. As much as
I love and adore both of them, I have a

(12:21):
very hard and fast rule that people do not come
to my house. And I'm going to explain why here
in a second. But I have a hard and fast
rule of that. And I have a rule of just
privacy in general and people being in my space and
allowing them into something too personal. So when it comes
to you know, they were like, we want to come

(12:43):
to a con soccer game, I'm like, I see no
issue with that. My son has seen them on the live,
you know, chatting in the live, and they've sent things before,
and you know, he immediately knew who they were. They
brought him a gift was super super sweet, a Pokemon
like Squishy Mellow and a blame get and Pokemon cards
and he lit up and that night opened up the

(13:04):
cards right away. But then that night slept with a
blanket and slept with the with the pillow. So it
was really sweet. But they wanted to come to his
game and support him, which I thought was very very sweet.
And it's a public places and open place. I had
zero issues with that, you know whatsoever, So that was
really fun. They came and cheered and it was just
it was very very very cool. I loved it so much.

(13:26):
And then Sunday we all went to breakfast together and
saying goodbye. That was that was tough because when you
know people and you've talked to him on the phone,
and you've face timed and you've done all of those
things seeing them in person, hanging out with them and
getting more time with them, Like you're sad when they go.
You're like, oh, I wish they would live in town.
So you're you're sad when when they head out. So

(13:48):
they came, they left. We then went to con had
another game on Sunday, so Josh, my ex, myself. We
all sat together, hung out the game, and then all
four of us, my ex, my son, Josh, and myself
went to a pumpkin patch on Sunday after Cohen's game
and we had the best time. Knowing that you have

(14:09):
a supportive partner who understands that it's important to you
to still be a unit when it comes to your
ex and your son, not in a weird way, not
in a creepy way, not in any inappropriate type of
way whatsoever, but just a unit of Hey, my son

(14:29):
wants quote unquote family time. Now we're just extended now,
we just kind of have this extended family. So knowing
that both Kurt and Josh are at a place that
we can do that, I think is phenomenal. That was
something that I told Josh early on. This is a
must for me. It's not that I need you to

(14:51):
be best friends, It's not that I need you to
anything else. I just need everyone to be able to
get along for the sake of my son and my
son seeing that his can be happy and what a
good relationship is and his dad can be happy and
what a good relationship is, and what a good co
parenting relationship is That was what was extremely important to me.
So this weekend has been great. Now on to last

(15:15):
night's live. So, as I've mentioned, I'm in this program
that TikTok has put me in and along with different
things that we do, they have us do battles against
each other. So last night, Sunday night, I did a
battle and it was crazy, like they what they call smoke, right,

(15:35):
So they had a lot of people gifting. They had
been preparing for it all day. That's just not me.
And listen, no shade on anyone that does that. That's
just not me. I've got a lot going on. I
just that's not me. So people came in my chat,
they're like, oh my goodness, they've been raising funds all
day and they've been doing this and they've been doing that,
and that's fine, Like that's great. So we're in the

(15:57):
battle and they are. They beat us the first game.
The first game was closer, second game was in. The
third game was like really really far away, And it
got to a point where I just told people to
do what they wanted, whether it meant just stop you know,
trying to catch up. I mean the score was like
three hundred thousand to like not even two thousand. So

(16:18):
people in my chat were dand I'm so sorry I
can't give to you. I'm so sorry I can't get
to and I was trying to explain that is not
you don't have to do that. You know, Tapping on
the screen is free. Hanging out in there is free.
Showing support is free sharing, the live istry, all that,
all that stuff is free. Like, just hang out and enjoy.
That's what I'm on the life for. The battles, especially

(16:39):
the ones I get scheduled, those are for fun, you know,
I mean it's bragging, right, so it really that's what
it is. Yes, you get to go further, and yes,
if you know, the further you go, they give you
more perks and things like that. But all the people
in the chat, they were like, I'm so sorry, I'm
so sorry, I can't get I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm like, no, no, no. So at one point a
person comes over, and then a second person comes over.

(17:01):
So there were two or three people that made the comment, oh,
your people are broke over here, and I hit the ceiling.
I saw it, and I stopped. I said, this is
what we are not gonna freaking do Okay, I didn't
use that F word. I use a different word, but
I literally lit them up. How dare you come over here?

(17:21):
How dare you say anything like that? How dare you?
I knew I will say this when someone comes into
a chat. I try to be aware of Oh that
might be triggering to someone, or that might this, that
might that. So I explained it last night after that

(17:43):
was done, after I got off the live with them,
and I was just on my own, said that is
very triggering. People were in this chat the entire time
sand they were sorry they can't give, and I'm saying,
don't you dare worry about it? Don't you dare worry
about it? Just hang out, just tap tap surfree. They
still give us points, Just chill. It is totally fine.

(18:03):
I was really annoyed that that was said and protective
because I knew that was going to be triggering. People
had just said they didn't have the money to give,
so people are gonna come over and call them poor.
I was not okay with that. And the way I
described it is if someone was struggling with their weight
and someone came in and they said, oh, Heather, you're

(18:25):
fat or oh, Heather, you need to lose weight. And
that person is not the same size as me, they
might say, wait a minute, that's triggering because I think
she's small and they're calling her fat, So what does
that mean? What are they going to say about me
if they sell me? So I'm very careful because you

(18:45):
don't know where anybody's at in any journey, and the
last thing I would ever want is for someone to
feel like my room, my live, my podcast, my page
is not a safe space. It is a safe space
for absolutely everyone to come and hang out. I don't
care I said this. I don't care. Male, female, I
don't care. Broke, rich, I don't I don't care. This

(19:06):
is a space where you're supposed to be able to
come in, laugh, forget about your worries, forget about your cares,
and just chill. So for someone to come in, or
a few people to come in and make those comments,
I was just not okay with that. We can take
it back to how I grew up. We had five
people in a nine hundred and what seventy square foot house.

(19:28):
We did not have a lot of money, but we
had a lot of love. And if I look at
that I would rather take that love over money any day.
So the way I see it is, y'all might be rich,
meaning the people that came over and said this, y'all
might be rich with coins and dollar bills, but we're
rich with love. So we beat and trump at any

(19:51):
freaking day of the week over your little currency. So
the people that came in made those comments, I lit
their butts up, and instantly, you know, they get blocked.
But now I feel like I'm doing this damage control
of hey, wait a minute, this isn't okay. So today

(20:12):
I go live and people had jumped back in. They're like,
I'm sorry, I had to leave the live last night.
That was just triggering to me, Like that was upsetting.
I'm having financial problems, I'm this, I'm that. And I
was like, look, that's just not who we are, Like,
you guys got to give me a second to light
them up. And they're like, oh no, we knew, we
knew you were ready. We knew you were ready to
light them up, and we knew that you were starting to.

(20:32):
But because that comment was already made, that was just
triggering to them and they wanted to go. You know,
they were already feeling bad. So last night I thought
through things and I'm like that that is just not okay.
So when I when I see something happen, I want
to say, how can I fix it? That's the first,

(20:54):
first and foremost how can I fix it? Second thing
is how can I prevent it from happening again? So
that's where my mind is. You know, yes, I can
put words in that chat where that word can never
come up again. I could type in broke and they
will Noel will ever be allowed to type that in
the chat. They'll type it and then they'll be like,
how come that didn't did you see my comment? How
come I didn't go through? Well? Because you can block

(21:15):
certain words, so I can make sure that that happens.
But I felt horrible that they came in and said
what they said. That was just it was not okay.
So I'm sitting there, I light them up. I pretty
much get done, and Josh comes in and gives me

(21:36):
a big hug and whispers in my ears like I'm
so proud of you. And that meant a lot to
me too, Just because I don't want anyone feeling bad.
I want them to feel like I said a safe
space to come in and I went in hard on
those people. So with Josh come in and being like, look,
I'm proud of you the fact that you did I

(21:58):
knew you were going to do that, but the fact
that you did that, and he was the one, because
he's one of my moderators now, he was the one
that ended up finding those and blocking those as quick
as he could. So the fact that he came in
to say, hey, like that was I love the fact
that you did that really meant a lot too, because
he could see my heart and where it was coming from.
So to everyone's defense, I cannot pinpoint Okay, this person

(22:25):
is a supporter of this person or this, so I
don't want any drama on that front. Let's be extremely clear.
All I know is someone came in said what they said,
and I'm like, m M, that is not going to
fly in this chat. That is not going to happen.
So I took care of it immediately. But stepping back
and thinking, okay, how can this be prevented? How can
that be prevented. I'm actually friends with the people that

(22:49):
I battled, and I just don't see that being part
of who they are. So that really threw me for
that really threw me for a loop seeing you know
those comments come in over on our side. But it
also made me take a step back and say, what
the heck This stuff is supposed to be for fun.

(23:10):
Why are people taking it to a freaking extreme? I
have scrolled through lives. I think I made a comment
about this last podcast. As I'm going through there are
people that I am seeing that used to be the
sweetest fun chill are literally turning psycho about people. You

(23:36):
better gift. If you don't gift to get out, I'm
gonna block you. I can't stand you. I want to
challenge people to take a step back and say, are
you still doing this? Listen one hundred percent? If you
battle one hundred percent, you get diamonds. Those diamonds that

(23:59):
you see on the screen are not always what you
get at the end of the battle. The double stuff
that doesn't count. Meaning if someone sends you a hundred
and it's during a doubleness two hundred, we don't automatically
get two hundred three hundred four. We don't have to
get that. But make no mistake, at the end of
the time, it equates to diamonds, and those diamonds equate

(24:20):
to money. And I'm seeing some of these people get
so far engrossed in pumping people to send those gifts
in a negative way, in a negative way, and I
don't like that at all and what I mean by this,

(24:41):
And I think other creators have started putting videos out
about this because I went into a live and someone's like,
if you don't gift me, and I mean, there were
definitely some choice wares in between you. If you don't
often gift me, then get out. If you aren't gonna
support me, then get out. I don't care. I'll find
somebody else. And it bothers me because not not everyone
is as strong to say that, dude is a tool

(25:04):
and I'm gonna bounce. It's extremely toxic, and some people
who are in the toxic cycles, especially of how can
I gently say this. If people are used to people
yelling at them and they think that that's normal, and
they think that's acceptable, and they think that's okay, they

(25:24):
will continue to stay and that whatever you would call it,
group or whatever, that breaks my heart because no one
should be getting yelled at. No one should be told
if you don't give me, you're out. If you don't
support me, you're out. No one should no one should
be saying that. So when I had someone come over

(25:45):
and say that to my savage famo, I'm like, what
in the world is going on with all of this?
I get it. Battling people, please hear this should be
and the people that I am in the circles with
is a fun, entertaining thing. And I've had this conversation

(26:09):
as well. I don't know. I don't know about the battles.
I don't know how I feel. And people are like, hello,
you're entertaining us. As these battles are going on. Would
we rather go to a movie and spend X amount
or would rather go to a battle and have a
good time? And I struggled with that for a very
long time. So the more people that are like, hello,

(26:29):
you're entertaining us. We're at home or with our kids
or this or this or that. We want to show
our support of you sitting on the live and entertaining us.
And so I changed my mind on it, because initially
I was like, I'm not doing that. This is not
what I want to do. I didn't understand it. No,
I'm not doing it. But the more people DMed me
or sent me an email or had meetings with or

(26:52):
this or that. It's like, you don't understand. You're coming
on there, you're giving your time, you are taking time
away from something else you could be doing. But you're
on live with people and you're entertaining people. Let them
gift you, let people battle. If you want to battle,
do what you want. And typically what I do is
if we're sitting on a live, I'll say, do you

(27:13):
guys want to battle? And the majority of the time
I say yes. I don't always do it because sometimes
I don't feel like I just don't even feel like
doing it. But it's got to stop. It's got to
get to a point where the toxicity of some of
these creators that are praying on people. And look, I'm
sure I'm gonna take heat for this, but I don't

(27:33):
care if you guys go into someone's live and they're like,
if you don't gift, get out, get out. Happily remove
yourself from that live. Get out of there. Go find
someone that makes your soul happy. Someone you can go
into that lit o listen. I know people will. It's
proven if they think some tea is going on, they're
gonna get they're gonna park it. They're gonna park it

(27:55):
in that live, and they're gonna watch it. My point
in telling you to get out of the toxic one.
If you were in there and people are being mean
and nasty and cussing each other out and talking about it,
get out because that hurts your soul. You don't need
to hear that. You don't need to sit and watch that,
none of that. Find yourself alive, that you enjoy being

(28:16):
in now if that's your thing, which I highly doubt it,
because if you think about it, sit back as you're
sitting there, and when someone's yelling at someone else, feel
your muscles get tense, feel you getting ticked off. I've
been in lives where I get that way. I scrolled
across the live where a dude was doing it to
another dude and they were going at it so bad.
I couldn't believe the live was still up. I couldn't

(28:38):
believe the battle was still going. I couldn't believe the
live hadn't been banned. And I felt a certain way,
And Josh came over and goes, who is that? What
is going on? And I just kept shaking my head
because I couldn't even scroll out. It was like a
train wreck. I couldn't even scroll it, and I was like,
are we dead serious right now? Like this is legit
going on. So I just want to tell you guys,

(29:00):
find the lives that make you so happy that you
enjoy being in that you don't get yelled at, that
you don't feel like, oh, if I don't gift, they're
still going to ignore me. If I don't gift, they're
gonna block me. Don't do that. Go find a place,
a family, a space that makes you feel good, that
makes you feel welcome, that makes you feel like, hey,

(29:21):
I don't want to miss one of these lives, like
this is cool. These are my people, these are my friends,
these are my family. That's what you need to find.
And on that note, I've said enough about the lives.
I said enough about that. I will be doing a
relationship update with Josh and you guys are not gonna
want to miss this next episode that will be out Wednesday.

(29:43):
There's gonna be a lot to be told and laughing,
crying all that will be with it too. But I
think it's time you guys were asking for an update
from Josh, and I want to give you an update
as well, so be excited, be ready all of those things.
If you're not su if you have not, I should say,
subscribe to the podcast. Make sure you're doing that. Share

(30:04):
this out with your friends, Share it that with your family.
We talk all things Savage, fun, Savage fam relationship, We
have guests, mom talk is coming back, we have all
the things. I love you, guys. I love the support
that you show me. I love the love that we
have for this Savage family. And on that note, I'm out.