October 20, 2023 • 31 mins
Savage update with mom talk, parties, and self care!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ooh seven. I like to keep it real simple. All right,
it's about that time for a little bit of an
update of my crazy, insane life. Today. I'm gonna be
talking about not only not only the things that I've
(00:23):
been doing, but the things that I keep over committing
myself to doing. So I think that a lot of us,
a lot of us can really really sink into this
and say, uh huh, that is me and why why
do we do it? Oh? Well, everyone knows how crazy
(00:45):
my life is. I have I'm a list person. I
have a list for things I have to do around
the house. I have a list for work things. I mean,
I have a list for a list for a list.
Josh just makes fun of me. He's like, oh my goodness,
what's your list? But that's the only way I feel
like I can keep organized because I just had so
many things going on in my brain that if I
(01:08):
don't write it down at this point, I'm like, this
is not happening. I'm not going to remember it, which
really sucks because my freaky memory. Mmm. I would be
the one people would call be like, hey, do you
remember this. I'd be like, yes, it happened on this day.
I was wearing this. You were wearing it like boom.
(01:28):
But then life happened. Everyone kept talking about I know
I've said this before about the mom brain, and I'm like, uhh,
I don't have that. Even though, listen, I'm gonna be honest,
even after my son was born, I still was really
good with it. It was like later on, I don't know,
he was probably you know what, maybe it was after
(01:49):
the divorce. It might have been after the divorce that
it got a little bit a little bit worse because
I felt like, oh my goodness, I have to not
only do I need to do this, but I'm to
make sure I'm kicking asset being as parent. So I
think that I just literally had so many things going
on in my head that I'm like input error in
(02:13):
foot error, you got no more storage, full storage fall.
So huh. I guess I guess we can call it
mom brain, I don't know, or we can just call
it super busy. But having that mom brain, I'm like,
I literally need to have Listener, I'm telling you, I
could remember everything. Well, I have that next week, and
(02:35):
I've got this day, and I've got that tomorrow, and
I've got that next month. Now it is not happening.
It is not happening. It's not happening. So kind of
catching everybody up. I have my son has his birthday
party coming up this weekend. So I have been planning
his birthday party. I do my normal content and by
no means is this complaining at all. I'm just giving
(02:58):
you guys updates, not complaining. I love my life, I
love my kiddo, I love everything that is going on.
But I'm giving you updates because I know this resonates
with a lot of you and how we take on
so much and then at the end of the day
we're like, what the heck, where's this time? What's going on?
(03:19):
The day just flew by. So Sun's birthday is coming
up Sunday, October twenty second. Planning his birthday party, so
excited about where we're gonna go. We haven't told anybody,
exuse I want it to be a surprise. I will
post a video because it's super cool, so I'll post
a video about it. But planning his birthday party. The
(03:40):
good thing is when you have it somewhere else, you
don't have to worry about Oh, I've got to get
this decorated at the house. Or I got to move
this around. I gotta do that. So there's a plus there,
right that I don't want to say you don't clean up,
because I'm that type of person. When I get there,
I'll put decorations out and then i'll clean up. But
I think the fact that it's kind of in an area, right,
(04:04):
in an enclosed type area that you're able to see
everything and you're not running around, well, I gotta get this.
I gotta do that, get all the food put out,
get the decorations put up, and then let the kids
just go play and have a great time and really
just monitor. Right, the kids and I will be partaking
on this one. I'm sure all the adults will partake
on this event as well. So I'm excited to show
(04:25):
you guys that will be out next week. For sure
of what you know, what we were able to do,
but getting that stuff situated, I'm like, we're it's midday.
I'm going to do snacks. We're going to do drink snacks, cupcakes,
like the easy things. I think the older they get,
the boy you realize, all right, it makes sense to
make it easy. Little bags of chips, maybe you know
(04:49):
a fruit tray or veggie tray, whatever he requested, fruit tray,
so fruit tray, chips, drinks, cupcakes. I mean I used
to go all out with the cakes. And then as
he he got a little older, I think by the
time he was four three or four, I was like, nope,
we're doing mini cupcakes instead of the big cupcakes because
they get wasted. So you know, you just kind of
(05:10):
learn along the way. But I bought a big oh
my goodness, probably got forty eight in there. It's a tin,
a cupcake tin. But they're the small cupcakes, so takes
one box I think one maybe two boxes of cake mixed.
Drop those in and the kids love them so they seriously,
(05:31):
it's just way less waste because most of the kids
just take the dang on cupcakes and eat the icing anyway.
So I felt like I was always going around just
picking up half eaten cupcakes. So I got smart. I'm like, okay,
first it was cake. I'm like, okay, we're not gonna
sit here in cup pieces of cake for everybody. So
then we moved to cupcakes, and I was like, okay,
these cupcakes are getting wasted. We moved to mini cupcakes.
(05:51):
I just feel like, as a mom just look over
those things and think, all right, what's gonna be easier,
what's gonna waste less? Always overdo it though, I'll be honest.
I always have way more cupcakes, way more food. I
feel like I would have way more I don't know,
way more everything, but I feel like I would rather
have more than not enough. So now that I feel
(06:12):
like all of that is planned and done, now it's
just making sure I don't forget to pick anything up.
Instacart has been my friend. I love the fact that
Costco has Instacart because now I think I save money.
I think I do because then I don't go in
and spend on all the craziness. But anyway, so now
(06:33):
I just have to remember, pick up everything and take
it to the take it to the event. He's got
a game in the morning, come back home, grab all
the stuff, and then get out to the birthday party.
Maybe that's why I have mom brain, because I have
a bazillion things on top of I don't know, I
just have so many things going on because you have
your work, you got your kid, you have well, I
(06:56):
don't even think I don't even have a personal life anymore. Yeah,
I don't. I really feel like I have a personal life.
Maybe I need to jot that down and put that
down into my list. Hey, make sure you're scheduling some
time for yourself. But this is what I was talking
about earlier, right, we do do do, go, go, go,
and rarely have time for ourselves. So all of these
(07:16):
lists and all of these things that I'm doing, getting
the birthday party taken care of, I'm I can't wait
to tell you the other big thing that I have
planned as well. So birthday party work, I decided that
I just didn't have enough, so I needed to add
something else. I'm just choking. I am going to be
(07:38):
doing this second annual Make a Wish fundraiser. Some of
you will remember last year. Last year I did the
Make a Wish fundraiser. Let me tell you how it
all came about. Jumped on a live feed with some
random guy, didn't know who he was, had no clue.
He said, girl, I will take you out. I will
(07:59):
drive up there. I said, no, sir, no, thank you,
I don't know you. I will pass. I will double pass.
Then we jumped on another live at some point and
we're just sitting there chit chatting and lo and behold.
My son jumps in and calls him an axe lottle face.
He's like, what is an axe lottle? And they start
(08:19):
chit chatting, and my son's like, oh, that's something that
I've wanted a long time. But my mom says, no,
she can't get a Da da da da. No. I
didn't want it. It's an exotic pet. There was no way.
It's super hard to keep. No, no, no, and no.
What does this person do? This person decides I'm not
gonna just get you one. I'm not gonna get you two.
I'm gonna order three. So he orders three axe lottles,
(08:41):
sends them to my po box has the wrong po
box nip coat on it, so those actually got sent
somewhere else for the first day. Then they get shipped
over to the right place. I'm in Michigan on a
vacation at that point to leave early. My best friend. Luckily,
they thankfully I should say, went to the post office
(09:01):
and picked them up. One unfortunately did not make it.
The other two she had to go get this giant tank.
We're scrambling trying to figure out, how do you even
care for an acxi lottel. I don't even know what
tank they take? Is it fresh waters? Who knows? I
don't even freaking know. So she's taken a half day
off of work. I'm trying to figure things out. We
(09:22):
end up leaving our vacation early to come down to
get these things. Cohen is so freaking excited, so excited
about these axe Lottles. I'm thinking, I've got a feed
them shrimp brine and all this other stuff. I'm thinking,
this is not what I want to do. So we
(09:42):
get back. We go to this exotic pet store seven hundred,
almost eight hundred dollars later on a fish tank and
all of the pieces and parts that you're supposed to
be getting. Oh lord, So he's super excited. Loved the
axe lottles, but unfortunately one did not make it. That
(10:02):
was about a month in, three weeks in maybe, and
then the other one did not make it. And I'm
on a live feed trying to figure out, how do
I save this guy? How do I do all of
these things. I'm trying to literally literally save it, like
a nine one one, save it during a live feed.
It did not make it, sadly either, So the fish
(10:23):
tank you see in my videos when I slide in.
I literally am sliding in and there's an empty fish
tank in the background. So we're hoping to get him
some actual fish for his birthday, so the fish tank
isn't sitting empty. That is the plan. No more acx Lottles.
But I digress. Let's get back to the story of
the ax Lottles. So I didn't speak to this person
(10:47):
because I was so annoyed that they gave my kids
something that I knew I was not gonna be able
to help out with and eventually would make him sad.
Didn't talk to him maybe a month. Eventually I said fine.
He kept requesting to go lie began. I said fine,
and I think actually, let me back up. I sent
him a voice to text, like a voice note and
(11:08):
pretty much chewed him out, and he felt horrible. He
had so many apologies, but I didn't answer him. So eventually,
I don't know. After about a month he requested to
go live again and he's like, I just I'm so sorry.
I was just trying to make your son happy. I
was like, no, he said, well, I was just trying
to grant him he wished for excelous. I said, this
is not make a wish. I said, you know what,
I'm challenging you. You go work with someone and grant
(11:30):
their wish in the chapter by you in Virginia, and
I will go and I will grant a wish for
someone here. So that's what we set off to do.
I don't know how receptive his area was. I have
no idea. Mine was so excited said, we would love
to work with you. So right away I helped grant
a kiddo's wish to be an influencer. So I did
(11:53):
that one, and then I kind of helped come in
on a secondary wish as well, And I literally could
not have been more thankful that all of this happened. Yes,
it was sad, it was a happy moment. Then it
was a sad moment when they didn't make it, But
leading me over to work with Make a Wish has
(12:13):
been the best thing ever. So after the first wish
was granted, and right before the first wish was granted
because it got canceled and then re yeah, it was
rescheduled for like two weeks later. But in the interim,
I said, Hey, I want to do a fundraiser for
you guys on TikTok. They were super excited and like, yes, absolutely,
let's do it. So I did the fundraiser last year.
It was a very big success. Last year was and
(12:37):
this year I said, I want it to be even bigger.
I wanted to blow the socks off of everyone because
these kiddos, if I could literally show you their faces
when a wish is granted or they find out, hey
it's going to happen, or you're going to go to Disney,
or you're going to go to Hawaii, or you know
(12:58):
this is gonna happen. This is gonna happen. The statistics
show that when these kiddos get their wishes granted, it
gives them something more, something to look forward to. And
I believe it's eighty percent, if not higher, of physicians
and caretakers say that they noticed a huge difference in
the care So when they are coming in and their
(13:20):
wishes granted, these kiddos are like, now I have this,
and they get excited and instead of you know, the
same day in and day out of getting poked in
produc and all those things, you're like, well, I've got
this to look forward to, and it helps change it,
you know, their their mindset and helps them you know,
fight harder and things like that. So that's why this
(13:42):
is really important to me, is how this all came about.
I am a big firm believer and God sends things
to you and things happen the way they're supposed to happen.
So having all this happen the way that it did
now being such a big part of the donations coming in,
especially from the TikTok side, really makes me feel like
(14:02):
I'm helping make a difference in kiddo's lives. So that
event is going to happen the following weekend. So my
son's birthday is the twenty second, his parties on the
twenty first. The TikTok Make a Wish event will be
held the twenty eighth, twenty ninth, and the thirtieth, So Saturday,
Sunday and Monday of that following week will be able
(14:24):
to come on and there are gonna be some super
fun guests that I am coming on with me. So
it's going to kind of the way I can kind
of explain it is it's like the Masked Singer, So
I will have a guest come on. They will be
dressed up in a Halloween costume. No one is going
to know who that guest is, and we will have
to raise a certain amount before I can reveal who
(14:46):
is under that said costume and the guests that we
have planned. I cannot freaking wait. I cannot wait. I
don't know. I don't know if anyone's gonna guess. I
don't know. I don't anyone will guess like exactly who
it is because they're going to be really dressed up.
And I will give clues along the way, so we'll
(15:08):
have certain clues. You'll probably get it by the time
I give like the last clue, I would think. But
it's gonna be a whole lot of fun and for
a great cause. The average wish that's granted cost about
ten thousand dollars, so that's if a kiddo is wanting
to go to Disney or wanting to go somewhere and
take the family with them. So I want to be
(15:28):
able to help as many kiddos as possible. I mean,
I have a huge goal, like I want to I
want to make a million dollars. I would love to
be able to raise a million dollars for these kiddos
and give as many of these wishes like grant as
many as we possibly can, but I want it to
be a fun time and we possibly might be granting
a wish or two on that live feed as well.
(15:50):
So again it's going to be twenty eighth, twenty ninth,
and thirtieth. I will be kicking everything off, and then
we will have other creators that will be coming in
after myself that will do live feeds and will be
helping to you know, to raise money for make a
Wish as well. This every dime, everything that comes in
will be going to make a Wish. Some of the
(16:11):
rules that I had as well as TikTok is no
one is allowed to have their gifts on. We had
talked about me putting my gifts on because we all
know that it's easy to screenshot before and after and
be able to send the correct amount and all of
that stuff that I would know one hundred million percent
that I would do that. We don't want to have
(16:31):
any great areas, so gifts will be turned off. A
donation sticker will be put on for everyone's feed, so
not just mine, but anyone that is going to be
doing stuff after I get done, because we're going to
make it a week a weekend event. Their gifts will
be off, so anything that you donate will need to
go through the Make a Wish sticker. Now, if you
(16:51):
can't make it to that event, if you go to
my TikTok page and you go to my bio, you
click on the make a Wish donation button that's on
there already, and you can donate through that as well.
But everything goes through and to make a Wish, and
I get to decide if I have it here in Cincinnati,
I get to decide what portion will stay here in
(17:14):
this area and what portion will go throughout. Last year
I did the majority went to the national so that
means it goes everywhere. They dispersed it everywhere in the
nation because I figured, if people are donating from everywhere,
let's make sure that we're spreading that love throughout the US.
We just want to do our best and getting as
(17:38):
many donations in as we possibly can, and just being
able to help out in any and every wish we
possibly are able to. I would love for it to be, hey,
we were able to do this many wishes this year,
and the next year we can say we did Now
we did this many more. So that's my goal to
continue to work with them and just as many wishes
(18:00):
as we possibly can. So sometimes when you see me
running around crazy doing my live feeds, creating content, doing
TikTok shop videos, now doing the podcast. All of those things,
you guys are able to see. You're able to see
the videos, you're able to hear the podcast. You're not
(18:21):
necessarily able to see what we work on on the
back end or what I should say, I work on
on the back end. Lots of meetings, lots of emails,
lots of those things to get it organized and actually
get it up and get it moving. So that brings
me to the next part of when do you say no?
(18:44):
I will say it was very hard for me to
say no in my twenties and even in my thirties
and even kind of into my forties. I think you
get to a point where you're just like, I can
do it. I'm superwoman, but he needs me. I'm gonna
take that on. I'm gonna take that on, and I'm
gonna take that one on too, and I can do it.
(19:05):
And at the end of the day it's like, oh
my goodness, I'm taking all this on. I have zero
time for myself. I need to figure this out. So
I would say the last couple of years realizing that
the only person that's going to care about myself one
hundred percent is myself. And I know that sounds simple,
(19:30):
but you might have one person, hey can you do
this for me? And they only see that it's one
thing that you're doing for them. They don't see the
fifteen other things that you've already said yes to. So
when they're asking you, you know, I mean, it's just
the honest hey can you do this? And you're like, okay, fine, fine,
I like them or they're nice, or I feel sorry
for them, or whatever it might be. Whatever the case is,
(19:52):
you just pick it up and you do it. And
I'm not saying it's it's a bad thing that you
want to help out, But like I said, you were
the only one that knows every single thing that you
have going on. You are the only one that knows.
Have you given yourself a break? Have you done any
self care? Have you done anything for yourself at all
in the last day, in the last week, and the
(20:13):
last month and the last year. Have you? And I know,
as a mom, you just get into that autopilot mode
of okay, son is first and foremost, you know my Kiddoh,
my kid has to eat. He has to make sure
he's at whatever event he's at. First and foremost, he's
got to be at school. So he's got to be
at school on time. He's got to have food, he's
got to make sure he's at his events. He's got
to have his clothes wash, he's got to make sure
(20:35):
that his grades are are complete, and what homework does
he have? All of those scenes, you're like, all right,
that is autopilot number one. And then I'm guilty of
this because I just answered email backstayd I would help.
But room parent, do you want to be a room parent?
Do you want to volunteer at this school? Do you
want to volunteer as a coach? Do you want to
do this? Do you want to do that? So you
have all of these extra pieces that you're like, yeah,
(20:56):
I'll do it because I want to be involved and
I want my kid to know that I love them,
and I want to make sure i'm present. And then
you're like, oh my gosh, we oh, I've got work
and I've got this. And for some of you have
additional kiddos, right, so it's like you're stretching yourself so
thin that you forget that self care time. And I
would say over the last three years or so, especially
(21:17):
when I started counseling, I remember my counselor saying, Hey,
what have you done for yourself this past week? And
I couldn't answer. I couldn't answer anything legitimately. Did I
take a long shower, Nope? Did I go I don't
do coffee or anything like that, but I did I
go treat myself to a lunch or didn't? Nope? Did
(21:39):
I go buy Nope? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
And she stopped me and she was like, I, you're
your homework, per se is going to be do something
nice for yourself at least once a week. And there
were weeks I would go in and I would be like,
I know, I didn't do anything for myself. She's like,
I don't care if it's going to buy a new
ten dollars shirt or whatever, go do something nice for yourself.
(22:00):
And that that kind of changed some things for me,
a little bit of all right, do I always do that? No?
But am I more self aware of saying hold on,
I'm feeling stressed, I'm feeling like I'm being pulled in
a zillion directions? What is going on? And I step
back and I'm like, I'm not having my cup refilled?
(22:23):
So have I done something for myself? Have I been
able to step back? And even if it's pick up
a book and read a book? So I'm literally like
outside of my normal world? Or did I go and
do any kind of self care whatsoever? Okay, no, I didn't. Well,
then I need to pause and stop and I need
to figure out whatever has me pulling in all these directions.
(22:44):
Something either I have to say no to or I
can't take anything else on, because every single day I
get emails, can you do this? Can you do that? Hey?
Do you want to go here? Do you want to?
All of those things? And I have to know when
enough is enough. I think that I don't know if
it's a societal thing or just a mom guilt thing
(23:08):
or something that we just feel that we have to
be everything to everyone. But I need to realize and
Josh tells me this as well, like you are doing
an amazing job with everything on your plate, but you
can't be everything to everyone. And I realize that the
biggest thing I can't be everything to everyone and not
(23:31):
be anything to myself. That's not fair, that's not fair
to me. I feel like that's when those blow ups come,
where you're just literally spent. You're on that eleventh hour
or twelfth hour. Your candle's burnt all the way down.
You can use whatever, a little saying that you want,
but you have nothing left in that tank. And then
(23:54):
one little thing that probably never really bothers you literally
just straw that breaks the camel's and you are just done.
You're crying at this point. You're tired, you're yelling, you're grouchy,
you're just you're done. You're done. And so I'm trying
to figure out and get that smoothed out to where
(24:16):
if I'm starting to get to that point, I'm gonna
have to just continue to say no, which I've done
a better job with. Hey, I'm sorry, I can't do that,
or you know what, that doesn't fit in just it
can't happen. It's a no, and stop breaking feeling guilty
about saying no. It's okay to say you know what,
If I take that on, it's going to put me
to a breaking point and I'm gonna say no today, No,
(24:37):
excuse me. Yesterday I got an email, Hey, we're looking
for more coaches, blah blah blah, we're short one coach.
Why in my head did I instantly say fine, I'll
do it. And then I was like, you know what, No, no,
absolutely not. You will then have to commit to being
to every practice, which I'm typically at anyway. You have
to commit to every practice, or you have to commit to
every single game, which I normally met anyways. But you
(25:00):
also have to do extra planning for those practices, for
said practices, and if you want to be a good coach,
you're gonna have to watch game film and you're gonna
have to do all of these things. And I'm like,
you know what, I would rather be a parent. I'd
rather be a parent. I'd rather watch my kid, cheer
my kid on be present in that versus, Oh, now
I got a coach and I'm watching everybody else's kid
(25:22):
at the same time as my kid, And am I
really focused and am I really doing this? Nope? I
need to say no, I'm not able to do that
and be okay with not being able to do that.
That's what I had to kind of come to that
rationalization with myself over the last few years. Be okay
with it. You don't have to be everything for everyone.
(25:42):
The fact that you are at every practice, the fact
you are at every game that is good, That is
more than good. He will always remember that. You do
not have to step in and go that extra mile
and stress yourself out more. And essentially it could be
less time with your child. Nope, you know what you
can do and what you can't do, and it's okay
to say no. What's crazy is when I look back
(26:05):
and I think, Okay, was my mom this way? Yep? Absolutely,
my mom was always running. I mean there's three of
us in the family. My younger sister's ten years younger,
so there's a little bit of a gap in that,
but always doing something and she still does, always doing
something for somebody else. Hey can you come do this
for me? Hey, I need you to help drop my
car off. I need this or I need that. Okay, yep,
you have to get a papey up. And I look at
(26:26):
her and I'm like, she has not learned the art
of saying no yet. She's sixty nine and has not
learned that. But I just think we have big hearts, right,
And I don't know. I like back and I say,
my mom did it. And then I look back and like,
my grandmother did it, my dad's mom did it. Why
(26:47):
do we do that? Like, is it just something we
feel like we have to be, that we have to
be this superwoman? Or do we say this is what
society wants to be, or do we say, well, this
is the example that we had, or is it just
literally ingrained in us women that we feel like we
have to doesn't matter where it came from. We need
(27:10):
to stop that cycle of feeling like we have to
burn ourselves out and burn ourselves to the ground to
do for everyone else. Josh and I had the conversation
last night and he's like, you have so many balls
in the air, and you're trying to be perfect at
each one, and you're doing your damnedest and you are
being perfect, but at what cost to your mental health
and your physical health? And I agree with that. I
(27:32):
completely agree. Said you're right, And I've been thinking about
how I can be more efficient with my time, thinking
about what I can say yes to, what I can
say no to, what I can take off my plate,
what I can kind of delegate and realize that I
am just one person, And you know what, why should
(27:53):
I be a slave to everything else in my life?
Why should I not be able to enjoy the things?
Why do we run around in this dang on rat
race all the freaking time for what? Do I feel
like I need to keep up with something or someone
or anything? No? No, no, no, no, I don't need
to do that. So I feel like your first step
(28:14):
is being able to say no. And then the second
step is I am going to be the only one
that knows where I'm at mentally, physically, spiritually, all of
those things, and I'm the only one that can say no,
I cannot take that on. Yes, I can take that on,
or I need to pause and give myself self care.
(28:36):
I think that we just have to break that cycle
and break that mold of the Facebook. I'm the perfect mom,
I'm the perfect this, I'm the perfect that. Listen. Do
I love Pinterest? Absolutely? Have I been on it lately?
Hell no, because I'm not trying to do Josh probably
kill me. I'm not trying to do any more Pinterest
projects at the second, although I am adding in the
(28:57):
craft stuff because I I want to shift. I love
doing my to the comment videos absolutely love it, and
those will be every day. Maybe one day a week
I will not do them, but those will be every day.
I actually enjoy doing house flipping and crafts, so I'm like,
you know what, I don't want this to be, Oh,
this is the only thing I'm going to do. I
(29:17):
want to let you guys in on another part. So
not only am I able to show you another side
of me, but that's kind of self care because I
enjoy doing those things. So that's something that I came
up with of all right, I'm able to do kind
of this quote unquote self care by doing crafts and things,
and I can show others and hopefully they're the actual
(29:39):
good ones that we can all do and they're not
like super hard. But I'm able to marry the two
things together. I'm still putting things out, you know, videos
out and doing fun stuff and doing stuff that I love.
So it doesn't seem like work. I get it. Not
everyone has that luxury of changing what they do at
their job, so I totally understand that. But when you
(30:00):
come home at night, you know, is there some kind
of routine that you can put into place where you
get your twenty minutes or whatever you know what, it's
not the end of the world to give your kids
screen time for twenty minutes or half hour while you
can decompress for twenty minutes or half hour. I guarantee
you if you do that, then it's less just arguing
(30:23):
and nagging and whatever else it might be. Because you're
so tired. You have to also give yourself some time.
Just like we look at our kiddos and we're like,
wait a minute, they need some downtime, or they need rest,
or they need this, they need that. We need to
start doing that for ourselves. I don't think we do
that enough where oh, yes, kiddo needs to be embedded
by nine, why because they need sleep, And then you
(30:44):
sit your butt on that phone or you do whatever
until midnight and you get up at six am and
you're like, why didn't get sleep? Well, we got to
do the same thing that we're telling our kids to say, no,
don't overextend yourself and do this self care, you know what.
And on that note, I'm out
Ooh seven. I like to keep it real simple. All right,
it's about that time for a little bit of an
update of my crazy, insane life. Today. I'm gonna be
talking about not only not only the things that I've
(00:23):
been doing, but the things that I keep over committing
myself to doing. So I think that a lot of us,
a lot of us can really really sink into this
and say, uh huh, that is me and why why
do we do it? Oh? Well, everyone knows how crazy
(00:45):
my life is. I have I'm a list person. I
have a list for things I have to do around
the house. I have a list for work things. I mean,
I have a list for a list for a list.
Josh just makes fun of me. He's like, oh my goodness,
what's your list? But that's the only way I feel
like I can keep organized because I just had so
many things going on in my brain that if I
(01:08):
don't write it down at this point, I'm like, this
is not happening. I'm not going to remember it, which
really sucks because my freaky memory. Mmm. I would be
the one people would call be like, hey, do you
remember this. I'd be like, yes, it happened on this day.
I was wearing this. You were wearing it like boom.
(01:28):
But then life happened. Everyone kept talking about I know
I've said this before about the mom brain, and I'm like, uhh,
I don't have that. Even though, listen, I'm gonna be honest,
even after my son was born, I still was really
good with it. It was like later on, I don't know,
he was probably you know what, maybe it was after
(01:49):
the divorce. It might have been after the divorce that
it got a little bit a little bit worse because
I felt like, oh my goodness, I have to not
only do I need to do this, but I'm to
make sure I'm kicking asset being as parent. So I
think that I just literally had so many things going
on in my head that I'm like input error in
(02:13):
foot error, you got no more storage, full storage fall.
So huh. I guess I guess we can call it
mom brain, I don't know, or we can just call
it super busy. But having that mom brain, I'm like,
I literally need to have Listener, I'm telling you, I
could remember everything. Well, I have that next week, and
(02:35):
I've got this day, and I've got that tomorrow, and
I've got that next month. Now it is not happening.
It is not happening. It's not happening. So kind of
catching everybody up. I have my son has his birthday
party coming up this weekend. So I have been planning
his birthday party. I do my normal content and by
no means is this complaining at all. I'm just giving
(02:58):
you guys updates, not complaining. I love my life, I
love my kiddo, I love everything that is going on.
But I'm giving you updates because I know this resonates
with a lot of you and how we take on
so much and then at the end of the day
we're like, what the heck, where's this time? What's going on?
(03:19):
The day just flew by. So Sun's birthday is coming
up Sunday, October twenty second. Planning his birthday party, so
excited about where we're gonna go. We haven't told anybody,
exuse I want it to be a surprise. I will
post a video because it's super cool, so I'll post
a video about it. But planning his birthday party. The
(03:40):
good thing is when you have it somewhere else, you
don't have to worry about Oh, I've got to get
this decorated at the house. Or I got to move
this around. I gotta do that. So there's a plus there,
right that I don't want to say you don't clean up,
because I'm that type of person. When I get there,
I'll put decorations out and then i'll clean up. But
I think the fact that it's kind of in an area, right,
(04:04):
in an enclosed type area that you're able to see
everything and you're not running around, well, I gotta get this.
I gotta do that, get all the food put out,
get the decorations put up, and then let the kids
just go play and have a great time and really
just monitor. Right, the kids and I will be partaking
on this one. I'm sure all the adults will partake
on this event as well. So I'm excited to show
(04:25):
you guys that will be out next week. For sure
of what you know, what we were able to do,
but getting that stuff situated, I'm like, we're it's midday.
I'm going to do snacks. We're going to do drink snacks, cupcakes,
like the easy things. I think the older they get,
the boy you realize, all right, it makes sense to
make it easy. Little bags of chips, maybe you know
(04:49):
a fruit tray or veggie tray, whatever he requested, fruit tray,
so fruit tray, chips, drinks, cupcakes. I mean I used
to go all out with the cakes. And then as
he he got a little older, I think by the
time he was four three or four, I was like, nope,
we're doing mini cupcakes instead of the big cupcakes because
they get wasted. So you know, you just kind of
(05:10):
learn along the way. But I bought a big oh
my goodness, probably got forty eight in there. It's a tin,
a cupcake tin. But they're the small cupcakes, so takes
one box I think one maybe two boxes of cake mixed.
Drop those in and the kids love them so they seriously,
(05:31):
it's just way less waste because most of the kids
just take the dang on cupcakes and eat the icing anyway.
So I felt like I was always going around just
picking up half eaten cupcakes. So I got smart. I'm like, okay,
first it was cake. I'm like, okay, we're not gonna
sit here in cup pieces of cake for everybody. So
then we moved to cupcakes, and I was like, okay,
these cupcakes are getting wasted. We moved to mini cupcakes.
(05:51):
I just feel like, as a mom just look over
those things and think, all right, what's gonna be easier,
what's gonna waste less? Always overdo it though, I'll be honest.
I always have way more cupcakes, way more food. I
feel like I would have way more I don't know,
way more everything, but I feel like I would rather
have more than not enough. So now that I feel
(06:12):
like all of that is planned and done, now it's
just making sure I don't forget to pick anything up.
Instacart has been my friend. I love the fact that
Costco has Instacart because now I think I save money.
I think I do because then I don't go in
and spend on all the craziness. But anyway, so now
(06:33):
I just have to remember, pick up everything and take
it to the take it to the event. He's got
a game in the morning, come back home, grab all
the stuff, and then get out to the birthday party.
Maybe that's why I have mom brain, because I have
a bazillion things on top of I don't know, I
just have so many things going on because you have
your work, you got your kid, you have well, I
(06:56):
don't even think I don't even have a personal life anymore. Yeah,
I don't. I really feel like I have a personal life.
Maybe I need to jot that down and put that
down into my list. Hey, make sure you're scheduling some
time for yourself. But this is what I was talking
about earlier, right, we do do do, go, go, go,
and rarely have time for ourselves. So all of these
(07:16):
lists and all of these things that I'm doing, getting
the birthday party taken care of, I'm I can't wait
to tell you the other big thing that I have
planned as well. So birthday party work, I decided that
I just didn't have enough, so I needed to add
something else. I'm just choking. I am going to be
(07:38):
doing this second annual Make a Wish fundraiser. Some of
you will remember last year. Last year I did the
Make a Wish fundraiser. Let me tell you how it
all came about. Jumped on a live feed with some
random guy, didn't know who he was, had no clue.
He said, girl, I will take you out. I will
(07:59):
drive up there. I said, no, sir, no, thank you,
I don't know you. I will pass. I will double pass.
Then we jumped on another live at some point and
we're just sitting there chit chatting and lo and behold.
My son jumps in and calls him an axe lottle face.
He's like, what is an axe lottle? And they start
(08:19):
chit chatting, and my son's like, oh, that's something that
I've wanted a long time. But my mom says, no,
she can't get a Da da da da. No. I
didn't want it. It's an exotic pet. There was no way.
It's super hard to keep. No, no, no, and no.
What does this person do? This person decides I'm not
gonna just get you one. I'm not gonna get you two.
I'm gonna order three. So he orders three axe lottles,
(08:41):
sends them to my po box has the wrong po
box nip coat on it, so those actually got sent
somewhere else for the first day. Then they get shipped
over to the right place. I'm in Michigan on a
vacation at that point to leave early. My best friend. Luckily,
they thankfully I should say, went to the post office
(09:01):
and picked them up. One unfortunately did not make it.
The other two she had to go get this giant tank.
We're scrambling trying to figure out, how do you even
care for an acxi lottel. I don't even know what
tank they take? Is it fresh waters? Who knows? I
don't even freaking know. So she's taken a half day
off of work. I'm trying to figure things out. We
(09:22):
end up leaving our vacation early to come down to
get these things. Cohen is so freaking excited, so excited
about these axe Lottles. I'm thinking, I've got a feed
them shrimp brine and all this other stuff. I'm thinking,
this is not what I want to do. So we
(09:42):
get back. We go to this exotic pet store seven hundred,
almost eight hundred dollars later on a fish tank and
all of the pieces and parts that you're supposed to
be getting. Oh lord, So he's super excited. Loved the
axe lottles, but unfortunately one did not make it. That
(10:02):
was about a month in, three weeks in maybe, and
then the other one did not make it. And I'm
on a live feed trying to figure out, how do
I save this guy? How do I do all of
these things. I'm trying to literally literally save it, like
a nine one one, save it during a live feed.
It did not make it, sadly either, So the fish
(10:23):
tank you see in my videos when I slide in.
I literally am sliding in and there's an empty fish
tank in the background. So we're hoping to get him
some actual fish for his birthday, so the fish tank
isn't sitting empty. That is the plan. No more acx Lottles.
But I digress. Let's get back to the story of
the ax Lottles. So I didn't speak to this person
(10:47):
because I was so annoyed that they gave my kids
something that I knew I was not gonna be able
to help out with and eventually would make him sad.
Didn't talk to him maybe a month. Eventually I said fine.
He kept requesting to go lie began. I said fine,
and I think actually, let me back up. I sent
him a voice to text, like a voice note and
(11:08):
pretty much chewed him out, and he felt horrible. He
had so many apologies, but I didn't answer him. So eventually,
I don't know. After about a month he requested to
go live again and he's like, I just I'm so sorry.
I was just trying to make your son happy. I
was like, no, he said, well, I was just trying
to grant him he wished for excelous. I said, this
is not make a wish. I said, you know what,
I'm challenging you. You go work with someone and grant
(11:30):
their wish in the chapter by you in Virginia, and
I will go and I will grant a wish for
someone here. So that's what we set off to do.
I don't know how receptive his area was. I have
no idea. Mine was so excited said, we would love
to work with you. So right away I helped grant
a kiddo's wish to be an influencer. So I did
(11:53):
that one, and then I kind of helped come in
on a secondary wish as well, And I literally could
not have been more thankful that all of this happened. Yes,
it was sad, it was a happy moment. Then it
was a sad moment when they didn't make it, But
leading me over to work with Make a Wish has
(12:13):
been the best thing ever. So after the first wish
was granted, and right before the first wish was granted
because it got canceled and then re yeah, it was
rescheduled for like two weeks later. But in the interim,
I said, Hey, I want to do a fundraiser for
you guys on TikTok. They were super excited and like, yes, absolutely,
let's do it. So I did the fundraiser last year.
It was a very big success. Last year was and
(12:37):
this year I said, I want it to be even bigger.
I wanted to blow the socks off of everyone because
these kiddos, if I could literally show you their faces
when a wish is granted or they find out, hey
it's going to happen, or you're going to go to Disney,
or you're going to go to Hawaii, or you know
(12:58):
this is gonna happen. This is gonna happen. The statistics
show that when these kiddos get their wishes granted, it
gives them something more, something to look forward to. And
I believe it's eighty percent, if not higher, of physicians
and caretakers say that they noticed a huge difference in
the care So when they are coming in and their
(13:20):
wishes granted, these kiddos are like, now I have this,
and they get excited and instead of you know, the
same day in and day out of getting poked in
produc and all those things, you're like, well, I've got
this to look forward to, and it helps change it,
you know, their their mindset and helps them you know,
fight harder and things like that. So that's why this
(13:42):
is really important to me, is how this all came about.
I am a big firm believer and God sends things
to you and things happen the way they're supposed to happen.
So having all this happen the way that it did
now being such a big part of the donations coming in,
especially from the TikTok side, really makes me feel like
(14:02):
I'm helping make a difference in kiddo's lives. So that
event is going to happen the following weekend. So my
son's birthday is the twenty second, his parties on the
twenty first. The TikTok Make a Wish event will be
held the twenty eighth, twenty ninth, and the thirtieth, So Saturday,
Sunday and Monday of that following week will be able
(14:24):
to come on and there are gonna be some super
fun guests that I am coming on with me. So
it's going to kind of the way I can kind
of explain it is it's like the Masked Singer, So
I will have a guest come on. They will be
dressed up in a Halloween costume. No one is going
to know who that guest is, and we will have
to raise a certain amount before I can reveal who
(14:46):
is under that said costume and the guests that we
have planned. I cannot freaking wait. I cannot wait. I
don't know. I don't know if anyone's gonna guess. I
don't know. I don't anyone will guess like exactly who
it is because they're going to be really dressed up.
And I will give clues along the way, so we'll
(15:08):
have certain clues. You'll probably get it by the time
I give like the last clue, I would think. But
it's gonna be a whole lot of fun and for
a great cause. The average wish that's granted cost about
ten thousand dollars, so that's if a kiddo is wanting
to go to Disney or wanting to go somewhere and
take the family with them. So I want to be
(15:28):
able to help as many kiddos as possible. I mean,
I have a huge goal, like I want to I
want to make a million dollars. I would love to
be able to raise a million dollars for these kiddos
and give as many of these wishes like grant as
many as we possibly can, but I want it to
be a fun time and we possibly might be granting
a wish or two on that live feed as well.
(15:50):
So again it's going to be twenty eighth, twenty ninth,
and thirtieth. I will be kicking everything off, and then
we will have other creators that will be coming in
after myself that will do live feeds and will be
helping to you know, to raise money for make a
Wish as well. This every dime, everything that comes in
will be going to make a Wish. Some of the
(16:11):
rules that I had as well as TikTok is no
one is allowed to have their gifts on. We had
talked about me putting my gifts on because we all
know that it's easy to screenshot before and after and
be able to send the correct amount and all of
that stuff that I would know one hundred million percent
that I would do that. We don't want to have
(16:31):
any great areas, so gifts will be turned off. A
donation sticker will be put on for everyone's feed, so
not just mine, but anyone that is going to be
doing stuff after I get done, because we're going to
make it a week a weekend event. Their gifts will
be off, so anything that you donate will need to
go through the Make a Wish sticker. Now, if you
(16:51):
can't make it to that event, if you go to
my TikTok page and you go to my bio, you
click on the make a Wish donation button that's on
there already, and you can donate through that as well.
But everything goes through and to make a Wish, and
I get to decide if I have it here in Cincinnati,
I get to decide what portion will stay here in
(17:14):
this area and what portion will go throughout. Last year
I did the majority went to the national so that
means it goes everywhere. They dispersed it everywhere in the
nation because I figured, if people are donating from everywhere,
let's make sure that we're spreading that love throughout the US.
We just want to do our best and getting as
(17:38):
many donations in as we possibly can, and just being
able to help out in any and every wish we
possibly are able to. I would love for it to be, hey,
we were able to do this many wishes this year,
and the next year we can say we did Now
we did this many more. So that's my goal to
continue to work with them and just as many wishes
(18:00):
as we possibly can. So sometimes when you see me
running around crazy doing my live feeds, creating content, doing
TikTok shop videos, now doing the podcast. All of those things,
you guys are able to see. You're able to see
the videos, you're able to hear the podcast. You're not
(18:21):
necessarily able to see what we work on on the
back end or what I should say, I work on
on the back end. Lots of meetings, lots of emails,
lots of those things to get it organized and actually
get it up and get it moving. So that brings
me to the next part of when do you say no?
(18:44):
I will say it was very hard for me to
say no in my twenties and even in my thirties
and even kind of into my forties. I think you
get to a point where you're just like, I can
do it. I'm superwoman, but he needs me. I'm gonna
take that on. I'm gonna take that on, and I'm
gonna take that one on too, and I can do it.
(19:05):
And at the end of the day it's like, oh
my goodness, I'm taking all this on. I have zero
time for myself. I need to figure this out. So
I would say the last couple of years realizing that
the only person that's going to care about myself one
hundred percent is myself. And I know that sounds simple,
(19:30):
but you might have one person, hey can you do
this for me? And they only see that it's one
thing that you're doing for them. They don't see the
fifteen other things that you've already said yes to. So
when they're asking you, you know, I mean, it's just
the honest hey can you do this? And you're like, okay, fine, fine,
I like them or they're nice, or I feel sorry
for them, or whatever it might be. Whatever the case is,
(19:52):
you just pick it up and you do it. And
I'm not saying it's it's a bad thing that you
want to help out, But like I said, you were
the only one that knows every single thing that you
have going on. You are the only one that knows.
Have you given yourself a break? Have you done any
self care? Have you done anything for yourself at all
in the last day, in the last week, and the
(20:13):
last month and the last year. Have you? And I know,
as a mom, you just get into that autopilot mode
of okay, son is first and foremost, you know my Kiddoh,
my kid has to eat. He has to make sure
he's at whatever event he's at. First and foremost, he's
got to be at school. So he's got to be
at school on time. He's got to have food, he's
got to make sure he's at his events. He's got
to have his clothes wash, he's got to make sure
(20:35):
that his grades are are complete, and what homework does
he have? All of those scenes, you're like, all right,
that is autopilot number one. And then I'm guilty of
this because I just answered email backstayd I would help.
But room parent, do you want to be a room parent?
Do you want to volunteer at this school? Do you
want to volunteer as a coach? Do you want to
do this? Do you want to do that? So you
have all of these extra pieces that you're like, yeah,
(20:56):
I'll do it because I want to be involved and
I want my kid to know that I love them,
and I want to make sure i'm present. And then
you're like, oh my gosh, we oh, I've got work
and I've got this. And for some of you have
additional kiddos, right, so it's like you're stretching yourself so
thin that you forget that self care time. And I
would say over the last three years or so, especially
(21:17):
when I started counseling, I remember my counselor saying, Hey,
what have you done for yourself this past week? And
I couldn't answer. I couldn't answer anything legitimately. Did I
take a long shower, Nope? Did I go I don't
do coffee or anything like that, but I did I
go treat myself to a lunch or didn't? Nope? Did
(21:39):
I go buy Nope? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
And she stopped me and she was like, I, you're
your homework, per se is going to be do something
nice for yourself at least once a week. And there
were weeks I would go in and I would be like,
I know, I didn't do anything for myself. She's like,
I don't care if it's going to buy a new
ten dollars shirt or whatever, go do something nice for yourself.
(22:00):
And that that kind of changed some things for me,
a little bit of all right, do I always do that? No?
But am I more self aware of saying hold on,
I'm feeling stressed, I'm feeling like I'm being pulled in
a zillion directions? What is going on? And I step
back and I'm like, I'm not having my cup refilled?
(22:23):
So have I done something for myself? Have I been
able to step back? And even if it's pick up
a book and read a book? So I'm literally like
outside of my normal world? Or did I go and
do any kind of self care whatsoever? Okay, no, I didn't. Well,
then I need to pause and stop and I need
to figure out whatever has me pulling in all these directions.
(22:44):
Something either I have to say no to or I
can't take anything else on, because every single day I
get emails, can you do this? Can you do that? Hey?
Do you want to go here? Do you want to?
All of those things? And I have to know when
enough is enough. I think that I don't know if
it's a societal thing or just a mom guilt thing
(23:08):
or something that we just feel that we have to
be everything to everyone. But I need to realize and
Josh tells me this as well, like you are doing
an amazing job with everything on your plate, but you
can't be everything to everyone. And I realize that the
biggest thing I can't be everything to everyone and not
(23:31):
be anything to myself. That's not fair, that's not fair
to me. I feel like that's when those blow ups come,
where you're just literally spent. You're on that eleventh hour
or twelfth hour. Your candle's burnt all the way down.
You can use whatever, a little saying that you want,
but you have nothing left in that tank. And then
(23:54):
one little thing that probably never really bothers you literally
just straw that breaks the camel's and you are just done.
You're crying at this point. You're tired, you're yelling, you're grouchy,
you're just you're done. You're done. And so I'm trying
to figure out and get that smoothed out to where
(24:16):
if I'm starting to get to that point, I'm gonna
have to just continue to say no, which I've done
a better job with. Hey, I'm sorry, I can't do that,
or you know what, that doesn't fit in just it
can't happen. It's a no, and stop breaking feeling guilty
about saying no. It's okay to say you know what,
If I take that on, it's going to put me
to a breaking point and I'm gonna say no today, No,
(24:37):
excuse me. Yesterday I got an email, Hey, we're looking
for more coaches, blah blah blah, we're short one coach.
Why in my head did I instantly say fine, I'll
do it. And then I was like, you know what, No, no,
absolutely not. You will then have to commit to being
to every practice, which I'm typically at anyway. You have
to commit to every practice, or you have to commit to
every single game, which I normally met anyways. But you
(25:00):
also have to do extra planning for those practices, for
said practices, and if you want to be a good coach,
you're gonna have to watch game film and you're gonna
have to do all of these things. And I'm like,
you know what, I would rather be a parent. I'd
rather be a parent. I'd rather watch my kid, cheer
my kid on be present in that versus, Oh, now
I got a coach and I'm watching everybody else's kid
(25:22):
at the same time as my kid, And am I
really focused and am I really doing this? Nope? I
need to say no, I'm not able to do that
and be okay with not being able to do that.
That's what I had to kind of come to that
rationalization with myself over the last few years. Be okay
with it. You don't have to be everything for everyone.
(25:42):
The fact that you are at every practice, the fact
you are at every game that is good, That is
more than good. He will always remember that. You do
not have to step in and go that extra mile
and stress yourself out more. And essentially it could be
less time with your child. Nope, you know what you
can do and what you can't do, and it's okay
to say no. What's crazy is when I look back
(26:05):
and I think, Okay, was my mom this way? Yep? Absolutely,
my mom was always running. I mean there's three of
us in the family. My younger sister's ten years younger,
so there's a little bit of a gap in that,
but always doing something and she still does, always doing
something for somebody else. Hey can you come do this
for me? Hey, I need you to help drop my
car off. I need this or I need that. Okay, yep,
you have to get a papey up. And I look at
(26:26):
her and I'm like, she has not learned the art
of saying no yet. She's sixty nine and has not
learned that. But I just think we have big hearts, right,
And I don't know. I like back and I say,
my mom did it. And then I look back and like,
my grandmother did it, my dad's mom did it. Why
(26:47):
do we do that? Like, is it just something we
feel like we have to be, that we have to
be this superwoman? Or do we say this is what
society wants to be, or do we say, well, this
is the example that we had, or is it just
literally ingrained in us women that we feel like we
have to doesn't matter where it came from. We need
(27:10):
to stop that cycle of feeling like we have to
burn ourselves out and burn ourselves to the ground to
do for everyone else. Josh and I had the conversation
last night and he's like, you have so many balls
in the air, and you're trying to be perfect at
each one, and you're doing your damnedest and you are
being perfect, but at what cost to your mental health
and your physical health? And I agree with that. I
(27:32):
completely agree. Said you're right, And I've been thinking about
how I can be more efficient with my time, thinking
about what I can say yes to, what I can
say no to, what I can take off my plate,
what I can kind of delegate and realize that I
am just one person, And you know what, why should
(27:53):
I be a slave to everything else in my life?
Why should I not be able to enjoy the things?
Why do we run around in this dang on rat
race all the freaking time for what? Do I feel
like I need to keep up with something or someone
or anything? No? No, no, no, no, I don't need
to do that. So I feel like your first step
(28:14):
is being able to say no. And then the second
step is I am going to be the only one
that knows where I'm at mentally, physically, spiritually, all of
those things, and I'm the only one that can say no,
I cannot take that on. Yes, I can take that on,
or I need to pause and give myself self care.
(28:36):
I think that we just have to break that cycle
and break that mold of the Facebook. I'm the perfect mom,
I'm the perfect this, I'm the perfect that. Listen. Do
I love Pinterest? Absolutely? Have I been on it lately?
Hell no, because I'm not trying to do Josh probably
kill me. I'm not trying to do any more Pinterest
projects at the second, although I am adding in the
(28:57):
craft stuff because I I want to shift. I love
doing my to the comment videos absolutely love it, and
those will be every day. Maybe one day a week
I will not do them, but those will be every day.
I actually enjoy doing house flipping and crafts, so I'm like,
you know what, I don't want this to be, Oh,
this is the only thing I'm going to do. I
(29:17):
want to let you guys in on another part. So
not only am I able to show you another side
of me, but that's kind of self care because I
enjoy doing those things. So that's something that I came
up with of all right, I'm able to do kind
of this quote unquote self care by doing crafts and things,
and I can show others and hopefully they're the actual
(29:39):
good ones that we can all do and they're not
like super hard. But I'm able to marry the two
things together. I'm still putting things out, you know, videos
out and doing fun stuff and doing stuff that I love.
So it doesn't seem like work. I get it. Not
everyone has that luxury of changing what they do at
their job, so I totally understand that. But when you
(30:00):
come home at night, you know, is there some kind
of routine that you can put into place where you
get your twenty minutes or whatever you know what, it's
not the end of the world to give your kids
screen time for twenty minutes or half hour while you
can decompress for twenty minutes or half hour. I guarantee
you if you do that, then it's less just arguing
(30:23):
and nagging and whatever else it might be. Because you're
so tired. You have to also give yourself some time.
Just like we look at our kiddos and we're like,
wait a minute, they need some downtime, or they need rest,
or they need this, they need that. We need to
start doing that for ourselves. I don't think we do
that enough where oh, yes, kiddo needs to be embedded
by nine, why because they need sleep, And then you
(30:44):
sit your butt on that phone or you do whatever
until midnight and you get up at six am and
you're like, why didn't get sleep? Well, we got to
do the same thing that we're telling our kids to say, no,
don't overextend yourself and do this self care, you know what.
And on that note, I'm out
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