October 5, 2023 • 35 mins
Savage update. Join Savage as she discusses her past week and some tough obstacles...
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ooh, Savage, I like to keep it real simple.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
So many highs, so many lows. Literally, this life is
the biggest rollercoaster ever. It's definitely I could say this
past week is definitely the poster child of you never
know what someone's going through. Just because you see someone
doesn't mean if they have a smile doesn't mean they're happy.
If they have a frown doesn't mean that they're sad.
(00:29):
This past week was definitely the epitome of that. Well,
let's get started with the Savage fam. I cannot begin
to tell you how much I love you guys. You
have my back on everything.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Maybe a month ago, month and a half ago, I
shot a cover with a few other influencers, did a
full page article, did a photoshit with my son, and
it came out twenty eighth or twenty ninth.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I I don't know. I did that what a month?
Month and a half?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Cool, like I said, and totally forgot about it. Didn't
really say much. She said, hey, I got something exciting
and then let it go. Then I get this DM
or actually it was an email because they got the
magazine in the mail and said.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Oh my god, that was on the cover. Oh my god,
this is so amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So I knew that it was officially out like September
twenty eighth or what have you, and people started sending
more dms, more text messages, all the things. They're like,
why do you not have this all over your social media?
And as amazing as it was, I'm so thankful. I
hope I get to do more things like that. I
loved it so so much, I'm like, oh, yeah, I
(01:39):
guess I should put that out on my social media.
So I love the fact that you guys are watching
and listening and just taking it all in and you're
so proud, And I hope that I literally am bringing
you along on every journey that I go on. That
whole article is discussing the Savage fam and how we
(02:00):
are and how much I love you guys, and how
we've grown into such a big family. Well, that big
family showed up and showed out. So I'm in a
program with TikTok and they give you goals they'd like
you to try to achieve monthly. There's just a handful.
I've had this conversation I think before on lives and
on the podcast. There's a handful of creators throughout the
(02:22):
entire United States that they have chosen and we're in
this program. Those goals are given. That first week I
had so much stuff going on. That second week was like, hey, here,
technically is your goal and I'm like, are we joking
right now?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Because I don't know. So I never shared exactly what.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
The goal was, but I said, hey, we have a
pretty lofty goal.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
This is what we're going to do.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
And I felt if this is what's being asked, if
me and you guys are going to help, then I'm
giving back. So what we started to do, what I
should say I started to do is on my live feeds,
especially on Wednesday nights and Friday night. Then I added.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
In Sunday nights, so I would say Sundays, Wednesdays.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
And Fridays. I do not like to go live very
much when my son is here. Now, last night we
went live and we read books. And the reason I
did that is because I want you guys to see
that my life.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Is not always X, Y or Z.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
A lot of influencers go on and they're like, ah,
my life is this, and it's really not.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
And that's fine.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
If that's the image you want to portray. If that's
the character you want to portray, that's fine. But savage
mom life is just my life. Like it legit. You're
gonna see the goods, the bads, the you know, the
in betweens.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Yes, I am.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Private with things. I think everyone should be private with things.
I don't think every detail of your life should literally
be put out there. But we had such an emotional,
amazing night Saturday, and my thank you and my hey,
let's chilli was Sunday night, let's just read bedtime stories.
(04:04):
So that's all I did. I got on, we read
bedtime stories and that was it. Then we ended the life,
which was amazing. But let's talk about that Saturday. So
throughout the month, it was so crazy. Throughout the month,
I went out and I purchased these items. There were
a few things that were donated, so I want to
say thank you. Monica sent some things in. She has
(04:26):
her own crafting company, and man, they are absolutely amazing.
I'll have to get the name of the company. But
she is not really making too much now. She's multitasking
on going to school, being a mom, all the things.
So I don't want to overwhelm people by saying you know, hey,
you should order this for me, and you know, do that,
and I don't want to do that to her. She's like,
I am pausing on all of that. But anyway, she
(04:49):
had sent some things, and I had given those beautiful
earrings and pieces away. But I had been personally going
out shopping, spending my money, going out buying gifts that
I like that I think the Savage fan would like,
and it filled my cup to do that. I absolutely
love that. My love language is gift giving all of
those things. So it's definitely a win win. So I thought,
(05:10):
if they're helping me with my goal, I want to
give back. So it gets to the end of the month,
which was Saturday, and we were quite a ways I
still have you know of the goal, but literally the
Savage fam showed up, like I said, and showed out
(05:30):
and it's it's amazing to have that feeling of knowing
I know one hundred bazillion percent. I get on those
live feeds because I wanted to be a safe, happy space.
I want people to be able to come in whether
they're dealing with a birth or a death, or something
(05:54):
tragic or something happy. I want it to be a
safe space. Where everyone feels welcome, everyone feels as though
they can come in and not just talk to me,
but banter back and forth and just hang out and
forget about whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
They need to escape from.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
So to know that I want to be that for people,
to know that I would do anything for anyone. There
are times, especially as larger creators, there are times where
we have to not look at DMS, not look at
I need help.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I need help.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I need help, I need help because it does weigh
on you because you want to help everyone and you
want to read everyone's story and you want to do
those things. But as creators for our mental health, we
have to take a step back. That is something it
took me a very long time to learn because I
was Nope, I gotta help this, I gotta help that,
I gotta help this, I gotta help that. And then
I saw some of the scams and then have been scams,
(06:47):
and I'm like, Okay, Nope, I've got to get smarter
about this. And I also have to protect my peace
and my mental health because if I don't do that
and I'm helping one person, I could be helping millions
of people. If I'm smart about how I protect my piece,
So I will speak for myself on that about protecting
my piece.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I think other.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Influencers, if that's what you want to call, or other
people on social media, I see them getting to that
point where they're taking breaks or saying I don't want
to do this, or just a flat out no, with
not having to explain themselves. It's just no or no,
thank you, and not having to explain themselves. So knowing
that I would give the shirt off my back, knowing
(07:29):
that I'm giving back in ways people see and people
don't see, knowing that I have all these grandiose plans
of helping people, I guess I just I don't come
out and ask for help. Hey, this is what you
guys have to do this for me or I need
you to do this for me.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
It just I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I've never I guess I'm just so sticking, stubborn and independent.
But to see this savage fam come and say look,
you need us, and we are here for you, and
we are not just kind of here for you like
we are here for you was so emotional for me
on Saturday.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I just I couldn't stop crying.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I literally was so taken back that the Savage Fam
feels the same way about me as I feel about them,
and not that anyone has to give me or gift
me anything in order for me to feel that. It
was just the fact that everyone came together, whether it
was just hanging out in the chat and words of
(08:30):
encouragement or just words in general, or just being our
Savage family.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
It was freaking amazing.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
And I encourage you if you've not been to one
of my live feeds, if you've not been there to
hang out or just we have a lot of silent watchers.
They're like, Hey, we just come in because we feel
at peace when we're in here.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
You know, things are funny or things are chill or whatever.
I would definitely encourage you to come and hang out
in a live feed for shore.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
So from the bottom of my heart, I want to
thank the Savage Fam. I want to think everyone that
came in and hung out, we were so so close
to the goal.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
That for me, it was a win. It legit, it
was a win.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
And I think everyone in that chat, everyone that hung out,
I think there were about two thousand people at one point.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Everyone could feel that love.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
For each other and just for that Savage family, So
thank you from the bottom of my heart, and thank
you for allowing me to feel what I hope that
I'm giving you guys on a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I'm trying to get emotional.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
It was amazing and to have that, especially with the
week that I had prior, was icing on the cake.
Let's talk about that life either for another minute or so.
I went into detail a little bit more about why
I do what I do. I've always felt that I
(09:59):
have been called to, I don't know, have an impact
on a really large scale, and I've never taken that
thought lightly.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I am not perfect. I mess up. I probably mess up.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I was gonna stand a daily but it's probably more,
you know, multiple times a day we all do. But
I hope and I want people to see the heart
that I have, the genuine heart that I have. I
don't I don't even like if I did something, I'm like,
oh my gosh, that's not what was supposed to be said,
(10:36):
or that's not how that was. Don't get me wrong.
F around and find out that's not what I'm talking about.
But I'm talking about my heart on the other side
of things, because look, I'm gonna I'm a ride or
die right, like you're coming in mess with a savage fan,
like you're gonna.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Know about it.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
You come in and you try to trow, you're gonna
know about it. But I want people to see that
all welcome me, giving nurturing heart that I have, and
part of me feels like, in a weird way, I
would love to be that example, right.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I don't want to be, Oh, I'm everyone's role model.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
That's not what I mean. And I'm not Charles Barker like, well,
I'm not to role model. But I just want people
to see shitty, shitty things happen to people, and one
day when I write my book, literally your jaws won't
drop and be like, are you kidding me? Right now,
(11:35):
I want to be that example of really bad things happen, but.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
You can do your best and try to.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Find the positive thing out of it, find whatever it
is that keeps you going. When we were in that live,
something came over me and I just knew. I knew
there were several people in that live that we're thinking
of about really really bad thoughts and depress up thoughts,
(12:04):
and the amount of people that said, I am in
this lot for a reason that I got brought into
this live for a reason. I got so many dms
after that. It's amazing how things work, and I feel
very blessed that I'm being used as that vessel.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
As that.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Vessel's the best word. I can't think of any other
word other than that. So I'm thankful that we have
this savage family and I'm able to bring a little
bit of peace. I would say sanity, but we all
know I'm a little crizy, So I'm just happy I
can bring a little sanity or a little escape to
everyone's life. And my hope is to help change the
(12:50):
world in a positive way.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
All right now, onto the mom life side of things,
because because we all have books and rule books and
we know exactly what to do all the time, right.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I told you guys, I would do a little bit
more on the mom's side of things.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
So why not just dive right in on kind of
a tough topic here.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I mean, like you said, we don't have the rules,
we don't have a handbook. I wish I wish that
we did. I wish we knew, especially your oldest child.
Well I only have one, right, so I think when
you have children. I come from a family of three girls.
So when you have children, it's one of those things
(13:40):
that the oldest obviously is he to say it like
the guinea pig or the tester or they say the
oldest grows up with the parent, right, So having one child,
it's the epitome of all of it. It's the oldest
child is the middle child is you know, it's everything right.
You want to keep their innocence, you want to teach
(14:01):
them everything. It's all wrapped into one giant at time stressor.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
So let me tell you what's been going on.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And again you you're also learning and growing as a
parent with your child. Because the topic I'm getting ready
to bring up is definitely a touchy one and I
feel like everyone has gone through it at some point.
So depending on your level and what or how you
(14:39):
went through it, I feel like you're going to address
it from a parental side if this is going to
make sense here in a second. So, my son came
home one day from school early in the school year
said hey, such and such said this, and I was like, well,
that's odd, I said, well, and I am the type
of parent I want to parent my child. So I said,
(15:01):
what did you say? What made this transpire? You know,
first and foremost, what role did you have to play
in this? Because listen, kids are not perfect at all.
My child is definitely not perfect. I am not perfect.
I don't want my kid to feel like he is perfect.
He needs to make mistakes to.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Grow, to learn.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
He's ten, he'll be eleven here shortly, which is nuts
to say that, but I first and foremost asked him,
what did you say? What transpired all of those things? Well,
they said this, and I could tell that it was
at a left field and why like why would this
person say something? And it was kind of like he
(15:45):
was taken back a little bit. So we had the
conversation and I said, how did that make you feel?
He's just trying it under my skin? Like okay, hey dude,
wait you take the high roll like that's all. That's
freaking awesome. So we go about our business then, and
I'm trying to be very careful because, like I just said,
(16:08):
I don't want anything to be a witch hunt, don't.
I don't want to hold this other kid to a
different standard as my son, meaning I do not want listen,
I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Be straight up. I recorded.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
This episode and I had my producer take it down
so I could go and to just because I don't
want that someone else's child. That's another little boy, that
is this this little kid. You know, there's still little kids.
I don't care anybody says there's still little kids. So
I wouldn't want anyone to not show that child unconditional love.
(16:52):
Is it wrong? Absolutely? Is there something else going on
that this kid needs? Absolutely, that's but that's not on
me nor any of us to take that in our
own hands and say, oh, this kid should know what's
wrong or this kid. That's not the point that I
want to make in this podcast at all. So I
called my producer. I said, please take it down. I
(17:14):
want to make some adjustments. I do not want anyone
to ever feel like they're being.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Attacked, especially on my account, like I would never want that.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
So anyhow comes home, says that, then there's an event,
says hey, every time I go to this event, you know,
this person is saying something and saying something and saying something.
And so we needed to continue to address it with
my child. And I said, hey, I don't want you
having anyone chase you off on anything that you love
(17:45):
or anything that you want to do and he's like, not, yep,
I understand that. You're right, You're right, You're right. So
it got to a point where eventually I ended up
just reaching out to one of the parents and they
were very receptive and shocked, which I would have been
the same way had someone said that. You know, someone
called me out of the blue about my kid too,
(18:07):
But I was. I was doing that from one mom
to another because my child is not perfect. Either I'm
sure he is said or done or whatever. We can't
hold our kids to this perfect standard all the time, right,
So I'm sure he has said something. Now, I will say,
on that flip side, there are expectations, so if he
(18:29):
were to say or do something, he would know out
of the gate that you know, there's a punishment coming,
whether you're grounded, whether it's this, whether it's that, like that,
that's just not okay.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
He does see what I do for a living. He does.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
He does see where trolls will come in or out,
or negative comments or things like that.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Not a lot like the negative comments.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I don't let him literally go on my page and
read those comments. But if I have read a comment
out loud to maybe Josh or you know, my sister
or my mom or something that's.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Where he may have heard him.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
And typically I try not to even do that where
he's in earshot, but dang, they are so nosey and
they they hear every They hear everything. So that's what
I mean by that. But we kept having this conversation.
I eventually thought, Okay, it's getting to a point where
there were some things said that if my son was
going around saying that, I'd want to know so I
(19:29):
can nip it in the butt right away. Called the
mom very receptive. I really really liked the family. I
wanted to do that based on one mom.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
To another, like I said, because I would want to know.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
So I'm hoping that having the conversation that needs to
be had will help. And I even made the comment,
I don't know whether you say something or not, like
that's that is your household, that is your family, that
is your child.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
I just wanted to bring that to your attention because
I would want to know if it were my son.
And like I said, super sweet, super open to hearing it.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
And that went extremely well.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Now, something that was said at school then start trickling
around and you may or may not have seen my
last video of me saying, hey, when your son is
having people come up to him and say X, Y
and Z, I show up in a Pokemon shirt, and
(20:33):
it wasn't listen. I've never said anything to any of
the kids. I would not say anything to any of
the kids. But I one a million percent will show
up and show out for my child. And what I
mean by that is the comments that were being made.
They were basically putting him down a bit for the
Pokemon stuff. And I just showed up with my little
(20:55):
Pokemon shirt and I just had the biggest smile on
my face and that that was that. So there isn't
There isn't a writer or wrong I feel, except for Go.
If I would have gone in and I would have listened.
As a mom, we have that mama bear hat on
and we're like, let's freaking go. I think it would
(21:17):
be wrong going in and saying something to the kid.
I think it'd be wrong if I made this big
spectacle over it. I didn't, And that was another reason
why I want to take that podcast down and edit it,
because I just didn't want people putting things together and saying, oh, well,
this is this and I know y'all are a writer
or die for me, and y'all would be calling the
(21:38):
school or calling this or calling that. And I love
that you guys love me so fiercely because I love
you so fiercely back.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
But the last thing I would.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Ever, ever, ever want would be to perpetuate that bullying
type behavior. So what sense would it make if I said, hey,
this is what's going on.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
My kid's getting bullied.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Now here's free rein for you guys to go and
find out, and you bully back.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
That's just not That's not what I want.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
I want to turn it more into a positive situation,
more of a supportive situation. So doing that video, letting
my son actually read those comments because I knew what
they were going to say, and I actually read them beforehand.
He gets in the car and we're driving to go
pick up something, and I already told him that we
were going to do a Pokemon video, and so.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
He was really excited.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Gets in the cars like, oh right, we go on
to Target, let's go get this box, you know, And
I said, hey, I did a video.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
I want you to watch a video.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I want to make sure you're okay with the video,
and he watched, He's like, yeah, So I let him
read the comments and the way he lit up. So
I want to say thank you to the Savage fam
because seeing those comments solidified for him, I'm going to
enjoy what I enjoy, whether someone tells me it's stupid
(22:53):
or not. And seeing other people that are like, I
love that too, and go do what you want, go
love what you love, be happy. Those just made him
light up. So I thank you for that. And when
I see that going on on other people's pages or
however I can help again. That's that's why I do
this podcast, That's why I do my lives, bringing awareness
(23:16):
to certain things but also put a different swing on it. Yes,
that was savage of me going in and showing my
support with the T shirt, but I didn't hurt anyone
over it. I didn't say anything to anyone. I was
a supporter of what my child likes and wanted to
show my son, you know what, like what you like,
stand up for what you like. It is totally fine.
(23:37):
Do not conform because they're at a crucial age right now,
so crucial, you know, fifth grade, all the way through that.
So many kids are jocking for this cool quote. Unquote
cool spot or part of the cool group. And I
want him to know you don't have to conform to that.
(23:59):
What do you think is cool is cool. What you
want to wear is what you want to wear. What
you want to play is what you want to play,
all of those types of things. So that's what I
care about the most, because that is what's going to
matter when it comes to going through life, right, going
through life, going through even taking it back, going through
(24:21):
high school. I just don't want him to feel the
pressures of well, I better fit in and if I don't,
I'm weird or I'm odd, or I'm strange or no.
I don't want that because who the hell makes up
those rules anyway? Who really says well, that's cool, that's
not cool, that's this, that's not this. So I want
him to have that strength and that courage to say,
(24:43):
you know what, I'm just me and that's fine. I
could be me and I could be cool and that's
totally fine. So the way I handle it might be
a little bit different. Listen, what I love to go
up to. That can be like do what is your problem?
What is your But I don't. I wouldn't. That's not
(25:05):
that's just not my place.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Now.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
If it were an adult, there'll be a whole different story,
a whole different story.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
And it's hard. I bring this up because it's hard.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
You don't like seeing your baby struggle, right with something
that has been said?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
You don't. And I'm not saying he cries himself to
sleep or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
What I'm saying is you don't like seeing them as
they're telling you that.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
You could tell it was hurtful.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
You could tell that the you know, constant commentary from
this other child when he's at this function.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Is just heartbreaking.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
You want to be like, what the heck do you know?
You want to call the other kid out.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
But I realize, and I have matured so much also
talking about the platform that I have, I've even matured
on that I don't want any re percussions for you know,
the other kid, because then it's like, do you hold
them to a standard of they have to be perfect?
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Now? Is it right? Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
A kid says something, says it once, maybe says it twice.
You know, hey, look don't do that. That's fine when
it's a repeated thing, when it's constantly going on, yes,
that's that's bullying behavior.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
That's one hundred percent bullying behavior. That's not okay at all.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
So I struggled because I'm like, oh my gosh, if
my kid did this, I would uh. And then I
took a step back and I'm like, you know what,
But do they even know that their kid's doing this?
So the coach side of me, hey, we can't catch everything.
You know, I haven't coached in three and a half
years because I switched over to this profession. But taking
(26:47):
it back to what I did beforehand, I'm like the
coach and me, what would happen?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
What would this? What would that?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
And I know I know that these kiddos that when
they come to an organization. So I'm saying the coaching
side because whether it's at school and it's a teacher,
I kind of look at it the same.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
We as a coach, we as a teacher.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
They can't see and hear everything, and kids are smart,
like they're sneaky, they know.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
They know what they can and can't say in front
of people.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
They know how to get caught, not to get caught,
you know, all of those things. So I want to
show some grace on that other side. But as I
mentioned earlier when you have had that situation happen to
you as well, and I think everyone has. I literally
think pretty much everyone in this world has had some
form of bullying.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Harassment, whatever you want to call it. I know I
did when I was in school.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
And knowing how that made me feel, and it was
around the junior high age. I just remember I rode
the bus with this person. They would just always say something.
And obviously, looking back at it now, you know, you're like, okay,
I understand why.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
But they would just always say something.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And there'd be times where I would be on the
front of the bus because I didn't even feel like
dealing with it, and you could just hear this person
from the back saying stuff and I would just sit
there and I remember just feeling anxious and not wanting
to go and there I remember a time that it
got so bad I got to school and I was like,
my stun, my curse.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
I just want to go home. I just want to
go home.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I mean, this person was threatening, well i'll beat you
up or I'll do this, and I'll do that, and
I'm just like, man, no one should.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Have to deal with that at all. So what can
I do about that.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I can just equip my child differently than I was equipped.
And I remember not saying anything to my parents about it,
not saying anything at all. And I remember getting to
a point where I just had had enough, and I
remember and listen, this is not the answer. This is
(28:49):
not the answers. I hesitate to even say this. I'm
not gonna lie, but this is not the answer. My
dad taught me how to box, and I was just curious.
I just wanted to learn. I was like, I just
want to learn how to box. I wanted to learn
how to defend myself. I think it's kind of cool.
So he just kind of taught me, like, hey, you
always protect face, you always do this, to do that.
Never ever, ever, in a million years, did I think
(29:09):
one I would want to do that.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
You know. I don't even like seeing fights on TV.
I just don't.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
That's I don't like it. If someone's fighting, I turn off.
But I just it makes me physically ill.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I hate it.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
So there was a time where I just had had
enough and I remember we we ended up in my
house and I was like, let's like, we were just like,
let's go, and so.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
It was just it was such a weird. It was
just so weird. It was so weird.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
So we're sitting there just literally she's starting punches at me.
I'm blocking them. I'm not throwing any punch, I'm just
literally blocking them. And I remember blocking one and my
hand hit the entertainment center and it cut my hand
a little bit, and I was like, hold on, like
I need to deal with this because I was a
little afraid, like my parents were to be like how
did you get And it wasn't a ginormous cut or anything,
(30:00):
but how'd you get a cut?
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (30:02):
What's going on? And I didn't want them stepping in,
like I just it was something. I was like, I
need to take care of this myself. So you know,
all the noise, Oh well, we thought I beat you up.
I'm like, oh, this is not so. Finally, I just
had enough and one day in our front yards, I
remember just I just feeling this rage and again, this
(30:23):
is not okay. I'm not saying this is okay at all.
I think things should be handled before it gets to
this point. All I remember is literally being in the
front yard and her tapping me, saying I can't breathe.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I can't breathe, and I looked down. I was like,
oh my god, I don't ever.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Ever, ever, ever, And I don't think it was at
a point where it was anything so bad that it
was really hurting her or anything like that. It just
got me to a point where I was like, I
have had enough. And I guess that's just the way
that I stuck up for myself. And things are way different.
I mean we're talking, I'm a gen xer, Like, this
(31:03):
is way way different. I don't condone that I would
literally be heartbroken if this is you know what my
son's like, Well, I'm just gonna I would be heartbroken
if that's what happened. And we I can talk speak
for I should say my ex and myself, we've told
our son, no, you don't put hands on anyone.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
That's not what this is about.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
But by God, if someone's coming at you, you defend yourself.
So if someone were to come at you, if someone
hits you and you can't you know, literally they're coming
at you can't get away and they just start, then
you defend yourself. You don't ever start it. You try
to get yourself out of it. But if you are
(31:47):
not able to do that. That is fair game. I
am by no means gonna tell you sit there and
get beat Absolutely not, absolutely not. So I say all
of this because it's hard. It's hard when you've been
through something. You want to make sure your child doesn't
(32:08):
go through anything like that.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
But on the same token, you're like, I'm navigating through
all of this and every decision I make as a mom,
as a parent, every freaking decision I know could shape
in a positive or negative way. So that is how
I parent. Because people ask me all the time, what
is your parenting style? How are you and your son
so close?
Speaker 1 (32:30):
What about this? What about that?
Speaker 2 (32:32):
In every time it's a big thing, right, Okay, oh
you want to wear that? Okay, fine, well I wouldn't
wear that whatever. I don't even care. Honestly, I don't
care what he wears. But if he's like, well, I
want to wear a hoodie and sweatpants, I'm like, I
wouldn't wear that because it's gonna be nine your degrees.
That's kind of you know what I'm talking about? Those
things it's like easy whatever. What I'm talking about are
(32:53):
the hard things. I try to take a step back
cause look my redhead aries, Jenna, you name it. I
would when I was young, I would just tell you
like no, But I can't do that as a mom.
As a role model, I can't. I shouldn't. Right again,
(33:16):
did I want to be like f those kids?
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Okay? I did say that. I'm not gonna lie. When
my son's like, well, people keep coming up to me
and saying an x y Z, I'm like, fuck those kids,
I'm not lying. I did. I did, I did, I did.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
But he understands that from me as his mom of
me's when I say fuck them kids, He's like, Okay,
he understands. What I'm saying is forget what they're saying
to you. You be, you, you do you, you got this.
So my parenting style is open lines of communication. As
much as he will allow, as much as I guess
(33:56):
I try, I can't pull everything out of him right
at this stage, they're starting to become even more independent,
and I don't want to say keeping secrets, but they
want to feel like they have some things for themselves.
And you know, mom doesn't have to know everything, DA
doesn't have to know everything. So I keep those open
lines of communication. But my biggest piece, and I'll leave
(34:17):
you with this. My biggest piece is what advice am
I giving my child? And how is this going to
help him or hurt him? Is this a short term
fix or is this a long term fix? And I
hope that resonates with you, and I hope that helps
change a little bit.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Look, am I perfect? Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Do I still say stuff that I'm like, damn, I
should not have said that, and I do go back.
I'm like, you know, here, Cohen, we had the conversation
about this, and I don't necessarily know if that's right.
Maybe this, And that's what I mean by we grow
up with our kids, right, we get a chance, we
go back and we think about it and we're like,
I don't know, was that the right thing to say?
Not the right thing to say. I'm constantly evolving as
(34:58):
a mom. I'm constantly going I'm back and self reflecting,
but I'm also constantly watching how he reacts and acts.
I want to make sure at the end of the day,
I'm raising a child that knows he can be who
he wants, but most importantly, he can be happy. His
(35:22):
mental health is what I care about the most, so
he can become a happy adult because I'm gonna be honest,
I don't see very many of those.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
And on that note, i'm out
Ooh, Savage, I like to keep it real simple.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
So many highs, so many lows. Literally, this life is
the biggest rollercoaster ever. It's definitely I could say this
past week is definitely the poster child of you never
know what someone's going through. Just because you see someone
doesn't mean if they have a smile doesn't mean they're happy.
If they have a frown doesn't mean that they're sad.
(00:29):
This past week was definitely the epitome of that. Well,
let's get started with the Savage fam. I cannot begin
to tell you how much I love you guys. You
have my back on everything.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Maybe a month ago, month and a half ago, I
shot a cover with a few other influencers, did a
full page article, did a photoshit with my son, and
it came out twenty eighth or twenty ninth.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I I don't know. I did that what a month?
Month and a half?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Cool, like I said, and totally forgot about it. Didn't
really say much. She said, hey, I got something exciting
and then let it go. Then I get this DM
or actually it was an email because they got the
magazine in the mail and said.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Oh my god, that was on the cover. Oh my god,
this is so amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So I knew that it was officially out like September
twenty eighth or what have you, and people started sending
more dms, more text messages, all the things. They're like,
why do you not have this all over your social media?
And as amazing as it was, I'm so thankful. I
hope I get to do more things like that. I
loved it so so much, I'm like, oh, yeah, I
(01:39):
guess I should put that out on my social media.
So I love the fact that you guys are watching
and listening and just taking it all in and you're
so proud, And I hope that I literally am bringing
you along on every journey that I go on. That
whole article is discussing the Savage fam and how we
(02:00):
are and how much I love you guys, and how
we've grown into such a big family. Well, that big
family showed up and showed out. So I'm in a
program with TikTok and they give you goals they'd like
you to try to achieve monthly. There's just a handful.
I've had this conversation I think before on lives and
on the podcast. There's a handful of creators throughout the
(02:22):
entire United States that they have chosen and we're in
this program. Those goals are given. That first week I
had so much stuff going on. That second week was like, hey, here,
technically is your goal and I'm like, are we joking
right now?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Because I don't know. So I never shared exactly what.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
The goal was, but I said, hey, we have a
pretty lofty goal.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
This is what we're going to do.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
And I felt if this is what's being asked, if
me and you guys are going to help, then I'm
giving back. So what we started to do, what I
should say I started to do is on my live feeds,
especially on Wednesday nights and Friday night. Then I added.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
In Sunday nights, so I would say Sundays, Wednesdays.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
And Fridays. I do not like to go live very
much when my son is here. Now, last night we
went live and we read books. And the reason I
did that is because I want you guys to see
that my life.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Is not always X, Y or Z.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
A lot of influencers go on and they're like, ah,
my life is this, and it's really not.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
And that's fine.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
If that's the image you want to portray. If that's
the character you want to portray, that's fine. But savage
mom life is just my life. Like it legit. You're
gonna see the goods, the bads, the you know, the
in betweens.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Yes, I am.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Private with things. I think everyone should be private with things.
I don't think every detail of your life should literally
be put out there. But we had such an emotional,
amazing night Saturday, and my thank you and my hey,
let's chilli was Sunday night, let's just read bedtime stories.
(04:04):
So that's all I did. I got on, we read
bedtime stories and that was it. Then we ended the life,
which was amazing. But let's talk about that Saturday. So
throughout the month, it was so crazy. Throughout the month,
I went out and I purchased these items. There were
a few things that were donated, so I want to
say thank you. Monica sent some things in. She has
(04:26):
her own crafting company, and man, they are absolutely amazing.
I'll have to get the name of the company. But
she is not really making too much now. She's multitasking
on going to school, being a mom, all the things.
So I don't want to overwhelm people by saying you know, hey,
you should order this for me, and you know, do that,
and I don't want to do that to her. She's like,
I am pausing on all of that. But anyway, she
(04:49):
had sent some things, and I had given those beautiful
earrings and pieces away. But I had been personally going
out shopping, spending my money, going out buying gifts that
I like that I think the Savage fan would like,
and it filled my cup to do that. I absolutely
love that. My love language is gift giving all of
those things. So it's definitely a win win. So I thought,
(05:10):
if they're helping me with my goal, I want to
give back. So it gets to the end of the month,
which was Saturday, and we were quite a ways I
still have you know of the goal, but literally the
Savage fam showed up, like I said, and showed out
(05:30):
and it's it's amazing to have that feeling of knowing
I know one hundred bazillion percent. I get on those
live feeds because I wanted to be a safe, happy space.
I want people to be able to come in whether
they're dealing with a birth or a death, or something
(05:54):
tragic or something happy. I want it to be a
safe space. Where everyone feels welcome, everyone feels as though
they can come in and not just talk to me,
but banter back and forth and just hang out and
forget about whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
They need to escape from.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
So to know that I want to be that for people,
to know that I would do anything for anyone. There
are times, especially as larger creators, there are times where
we have to not look at DMS, not look at
I need help.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I need help.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I need help, I need help because it does weigh
on you because you want to help everyone and you
want to read everyone's story and you want to do
those things. But as creators for our mental health, we
have to take a step back. That is something it
took me a very long time to learn because I
was Nope, I gotta help this, I gotta help that,
I gotta help this, I gotta help that. And then
I saw some of the scams and then have been scams,
(06:47):
and I'm like, Okay, Nope, I've got to get smarter
about this. And I also have to protect my peace
and my mental health because if I don't do that
and I'm helping one person, I could be helping millions
of people. If I'm smart about how I protect my piece,
So I will speak for myself on that about protecting
my piece.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I think other.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Influencers, if that's what you want to call, or other
people on social media, I see them getting to that
point where they're taking breaks or saying I don't want
to do this, or just a flat out no, with
not having to explain themselves. It's just no or no,
thank you, and not having to explain themselves. So knowing
that I would give the shirt off my back, knowing
(07:29):
that I'm giving back in ways people see and people
don't see, knowing that I have all these grandiose plans
of helping people, I guess I just I don't come
out and ask for help. Hey, this is what you
guys have to do this for me or I need
you to do this for me.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
It just I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I've never I guess I'm just so sticking, stubborn and independent.
But to see this savage fam come and say look,
you need us, and we are here for you, and
we are not just kind of here for you like
we are here for you was so emotional for me
on Saturday.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I just I couldn't stop crying.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I literally was so taken back that the Savage Fam
feels the same way about me as I feel about them,
and not that anyone has to give me or gift
me anything in order for me to feel that. It
was just the fact that everyone came together, whether it
was just hanging out in the chat and words of
(08:30):
encouragement or just words in general, or just being our
Savage family.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
It was freaking amazing.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
And I encourage you if you've not been to one
of my live feeds, if you've not been there to
hang out or just we have a lot of silent watchers.
They're like, Hey, we just come in because we feel
at peace when we're in here.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
You know, things are funny or things are chill or whatever.
I would definitely encourage you to come and hang out
in a live feed for shore.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
So from the bottom of my heart, I want to
thank the Savage Fam. I want to think everyone that
came in and hung out, we were so so close
to the goal.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
That for me, it was a win. It legit, it
was a win.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
And I think everyone in that chat, everyone that hung out,
I think there were about two thousand people at one point.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Everyone could feel that love.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
For each other and just for that Savage family, So
thank you from the bottom of my heart, and thank
you for allowing me to feel what I hope that
I'm giving you guys on a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I'm trying to get emotional.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
It was amazing and to have that, especially with the
week that I had prior, was icing on the cake.
Let's talk about that life either for another minute or so.
I went into detail a little bit more about why
I do what I do. I've always felt that I
(09:59):
have been called to, I don't know, have an impact
on a really large scale, and I've never taken that
thought lightly.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I am not perfect. I mess up. I probably mess up.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I was gonna stand a daily but it's probably more,
you know, multiple times a day we all do. But
I hope and I want people to see the heart
that I have, the genuine heart that I have. I
don't I don't even like if I did something, I'm like,
oh my gosh, that's not what was supposed to be said,
(10:36):
or that's not how that was. Don't get me wrong.
F around and find out that's not what I'm talking about.
But I'm talking about my heart on the other side
of things, because look, I'm gonna I'm a ride or
die right, like you're coming in mess with a savage fan,
like you're gonna.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Know about it.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
You come in and you try to trow, you're gonna
know about it. But I want people to see that
all welcome me, giving nurturing heart that I have, and
part of me feels like, in a weird way, I
would love to be that example, right.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I don't want to be, Oh, I'm everyone's role model.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
That's not what I mean. And I'm not Charles Barker like, well,
I'm not to role model. But I just want people
to see shitty, shitty things happen to people, and one
day when I write my book, literally your jaws won't
drop and be like, are you kidding me? Right now,
(11:35):
I want to be that example of really bad things happen, but.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
You can do your best and try to.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Find the positive thing out of it, find whatever it
is that keeps you going. When we were in that live,
something came over me and I just knew. I knew
there were several people in that live that we're thinking
of about really really bad thoughts and depress up thoughts,
(12:04):
and the amount of people that said, I am in
this lot for a reason that I got brought into
this live for a reason. I got so many dms
after that. It's amazing how things work, and I feel
very blessed that I'm being used as that vessel.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
As that.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Vessel's the best word. I can't think of any other
word other than that. So I'm thankful that we have
this savage family and I'm able to bring a little
bit of peace. I would say sanity, but we all
know I'm a little crizy, So I'm just happy I
can bring a little sanity or a little escape to
everyone's life. And my hope is to help change the
(12:50):
world in a positive way.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
All right now, onto the mom life side of things,
because because we all have books and rule books and
we know exactly what to do all the time, right.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I told you guys, I would do a little bit
more on the mom's side of things.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
So why not just dive right in on kind of
a tough topic here.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I mean, like you said, we don't have the rules,
we don't have a handbook. I wish I wish that
we did. I wish we knew, especially your oldest child.
Well I only have one, right, so I think when
you have children. I come from a family of three girls.
So when you have children, it's one of those things
(13:40):
that the oldest obviously is he to say it like
the guinea pig or the tester or they say the
oldest grows up with the parent, right, So having one child,
it's the epitome of all of it. It's the oldest
child is the middle child is you know, it's everything right.
You want to keep their innocence, you want to teach
(14:01):
them everything. It's all wrapped into one giant at time stressor.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
So let me tell you what's been going on.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And again you you're also learning and growing as a
parent with your child. Because the topic I'm getting ready
to bring up is definitely a touchy one and I
feel like everyone has gone through it at some point.
So depending on your level and what or how you
(14:39):
went through it, I feel like you're going to address
it from a parental side if this is going to
make sense here in a second. So, my son came
home one day from school early in the school year
said hey, such and such said this, and I was like, well,
that's odd, I said, well, and I am the type
of parent I want to parent my child. So I said,
(15:01):
what did you say? What made this transpire? You know,
first and foremost, what role did you have to play
in this? Because listen, kids are not perfect at all.
My child is definitely not perfect. I am not perfect.
I don't want my kid to feel like he is perfect.
He needs to make mistakes to.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Grow, to learn.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
He's ten, he'll be eleven here shortly, which is nuts
to say that, but I first and foremost asked him,
what did you say? What transpired all of those things? Well,
they said this, and I could tell that it was
at a left field and why like why would this
person say something? And it was kind of like he
(15:45):
was taken back a little bit. So we had the
conversation and I said, how did that make you feel?
He's just trying it under my skin? Like okay, hey dude,
wait you take the high roll like that's all. That's
freaking awesome. So we go about our business then, and
I'm trying to be very careful because, like I just said,
(16:08):
I don't want anything to be a witch hunt, don't.
I don't want to hold this other kid to a
different standard as my son, meaning I do not want listen,
I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Be straight up. I recorded.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
This episode and I had my producer take it down
so I could go and to just because I don't
want that someone else's child. That's another little boy, that
is this this little kid. You know, there's still little kids.
I don't care anybody says there's still little kids. So
I wouldn't want anyone to not show that child unconditional love.
(16:52):
Is it wrong? Absolutely? Is there something else going on
that this kid needs? Absolutely, that's but that's not on
me nor any of us to take that in our
own hands and say, oh, this kid should know what's
wrong or this kid. That's not the point that I
want to make in this podcast at all. So I
called my producer. I said, please take it down. I
(17:14):
want to make some adjustments. I do not want anyone
to ever feel like they're being.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Attacked, especially on my account, like I would never want that.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
So anyhow comes home, says that, then there's an event,
says hey, every time I go to this event, you know,
this person is saying something and saying something and saying something.
And so we needed to continue to address it with
my child. And I said, hey, I don't want you
having anyone chase you off on anything that you love
(17:45):
or anything that you want to do and he's like, not, yep,
I understand that. You're right, You're right, You're right. So
it got to a point where eventually I ended up
just reaching out to one of the parents and they
were very receptive and shocked, which I would have been
the same way had someone said that. You know, someone
called me out of the blue about my kid too,
(18:07):
But I was. I was doing that from one mom
to another because my child is not perfect. Either I'm
sure he is said or done or whatever. We can't
hold our kids to this perfect standard all the time, right,
So I'm sure he has said something. Now, I will say,
on that flip side, there are expectations, so if he
(18:29):
were to say or do something, he would know out
of the gate that you know, there's a punishment coming,
whether you're grounded, whether it's this, whether it's that, like that,
that's just not okay.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
He does see what I do for a living. He does.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
He does see where trolls will come in or out,
or negative comments or things like that.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Not a lot like the negative comments.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I don't let him literally go on my page and
read those comments. But if I have read a comment
out loud to maybe Josh or you know, my sister
or my mom or something that's.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Where he may have heard him.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
And typically I try not to even do that where
he's in earshot, but dang, they are so nosey and
they they hear every They hear everything. So that's what
I mean by that. But we kept having this conversation.
I eventually thought, Okay, it's getting to a point where
there were some things said that if my son was
going around saying that, I'd want to know so I
(19:29):
can nip it in the butt right away. Called the
mom very receptive. I really really liked the family. I
wanted to do that based on one mom.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
To another, like I said, because I would want to know.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
So I'm hoping that having the conversation that needs to
be had will help. And I even made the comment,
I don't know whether you say something or not, like
that's that is your household, that is your family, that
is your child.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
I just wanted to bring that to your attention because
I would want to know if it were my son.
And like I said, super sweet, super open to hearing it.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
And that went extremely well.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Now, something that was said at school then start trickling
around and you may or may not have seen my
last video of me saying, hey, when your son is
having people come up to him and say X, Y
and Z, I show up in a Pokemon shirt, and
(20:33):
it wasn't listen. I've never said anything to any of
the kids. I would not say anything to any of
the kids. But I one a million percent will show
up and show out for my child. And what I
mean by that is the comments that were being made.
They were basically putting him down a bit for the
Pokemon stuff. And I just showed up with my little
(20:55):
Pokemon shirt and I just had the biggest smile on
my face and that that was that. So there isn't
There isn't a writer or wrong I feel, except for Go.
If I would have gone in and I would have listened.
As a mom, we have that mama bear hat on
and we're like, let's freaking go. I think it would
(21:17):
be wrong going in and saying something to the kid.
I think it'd be wrong if I made this big
spectacle over it. I didn't, And that was another reason
why I want to take that podcast down and edit it,
because I just didn't want people putting things together and saying, oh, well,
this is this and I know y'all are a writer
or die for me, and y'all would be calling the
(21:38):
school or calling this or calling that. And I love
that you guys love me so fiercely because I love
you so fiercely back.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
But the last thing I would.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Ever, ever, ever want would be to perpetuate that bullying
type behavior. So what sense would it make if I said, hey,
this is what's going on.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
My kid's getting bullied.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Now here's free rein for you guys to go and
find out, and you bully back.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
That's just not That's not what I want.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
I want to turn it more into a positive situation,
more of a supportive situation. So doing that video, letting
my son actually read those comments because I knew what
they were going to say, and I actually read them beforehand.
He gets in the car and we're driving to go
pick up something, and I already told him that we
were going to do a Pokemon video, and so.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
He was really excited.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Gets in the cars like, oh right, we go on
to Target, let's go get this box, you know, And
I said, hey, I did a video.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
I want you to watch a video.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I want to make sure you're okay with the video,
and he watched, He's like, yeah, So I let him
read the comments and the way he lit up. So
I want to say thank you to the Savage fam
because seeing those comments solidified for him, I'm going to
enjoy what I enjoy, whether someone tells me it's stupid
(22:53):
or not. And seeing other people that are like, I
love that too, and go do what you want, go
love what you love, be happy. Those just made him
light up. So I thank you for that. And when
I see that going on on other people's pages or
however I can help again. That's that's why I do
this podcast, That's why I do my lives, bringing awareness
(23:16):
to certain things but also put a different swing on it. Yes,
that was savage of me going in and showing my
support with the T shirt, but I didn't hurt anyone
over it. I didn't say anything to anyone. I was
a supporter of what my child likes and wanted to
show my son, you know what, like what you like,
stand up for what you like. It is totally fine.
(23:37):
Do not conform because they're at a crucial age right now,
so crucial, you know, fifth grade, all the way through that.
So many kids are jocking for this cool quote. Unquote
cool spot or part of the cool group. And I
want him to know you don't have to conform to that.
(23:59):
What do you think is cool is cool. What you
want to wear is what you want to wear. What
you want to play is what you want to play,
all of those types of things. So that's what I
care about the most, because that is what's going to
matter when it comes to going through life, right, going
through life, going through even taking it back, going through
(24:21):
high school. I just don't want him to feel the
pressures of well, I better fit in and if I don't,
I'm weird or I'm odd, or I'm strange or no.
I don't want that because who the hell makes up
those rules anyway? Who really says well, that's cool, that's
not cool, that's this, that's not this. So I want
him to have that strength and that courage to say,
(24:43):
you know what, I'm just me and that's fine. I
could be me and I could be cool and that's
totally fine. So the way I handle it might be
a little bit different. Listen, what I love to go
up to. That can be like do what is your problem?
What is your But I don't. I wouldn't. That's not
(25:05):
that's just not my place.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Now.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
If it were an adult, there'll be a whole different story,
a whole different story.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
And it's hard. I bring this up because it's hard.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
You don't like seeing your baby struggle, right with something
that has been said?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
You don't. And I'm not saying he cries himself to
sleep or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
What I'm saying is you don't like seeing them as
they're telling you that.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
You could tell it was hurtful.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
You could tell that the you know, constant commentary from
this other child when he's at this function.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Is just heartbreaking.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
You want to be like, what the heck do you know?
You want to call the other kid out.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
But I realize, and I have matured so much also
talking about the platform that I have, I've even matured
on that I don't want any re percussions for you know,
the other kid, because then it's like, do you hold
them to a standard of they have to be perfect?
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Now? Is it right? Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
A kid says something, says it once, maybe says it twice.
You know, hey, look don't do that. That's fine when
it's a repeated thing, when it's constantly going on, yes,
that's that's bullying behavior.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
That's one hundred percent bullying behavior. That's not okay at all.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
So I struggled because I'm like, oh my gosh, if
my kid did this, I would uh. And then I
took a step back and I'm like, you know what,
But do they even know that their kid's doing this?
So the coach side of me, hey, we can't catch everything.
You know, I haven't coached in three and a half
years because I switched over to this profession. But taking
(26:47):
it back to what I did beforehand, I'm like the
coach and me, what would happen?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
What would this? What would that?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
And I know I know that these kiddos that when
they come to an organization. So I'm saying the coaching
side because whether it's at school and it's a teacher,
I kind of look at it the same.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
We as a coach, we as a teacher.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
They can't see and hear everything, and kids are smart,
like they're sneaky, they know.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
They know what they can and can't say in front
of people.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
They know how to get caught, not to get caught,
you know, all of those things. So I want to
show some grace on that other side. But as I
mentioned earlier when you have had that situation happen to
you as well, and I think everyone has. I literally
think pretty much everyone in this world has had some
form of bullying.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Harassment, whatever you want to call it. I know I
did when I was in school.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
And knowing how that made me feel, and it was
around the junior high age. I just remember I rode
the bus with this person. They would just always say something.
And obviously, looking back at it now, you know, you're like, okay,
I understand why.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
But they would just always say something.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And there'd be times where I would be on the
front of the bus because I didn't even feel like
dealing with it, and you could just hear this person
from the back saying stuff and I would just sit
there and I remember just feeling anxious and not wanting
to go and there I remember a time that it
got so bad I got to school and I was like,
my stun, my curse.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
I just want to go home. I just want to
go home.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I mean, this person was threatening, well i'll beat you
up or I'll do this, and I'll do that, and
I'm just like, man, no one should.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Have to deal with that at all. So what can
I do about that.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I can just equip my child differently than I was equipped.
And I remember not saying anything to my parents about it,
not saying anything at all. And I remember getting to
a point where I just had had enough, and I
remember and listen, this is not the answer. This is
(28:49):
not the answers. I hesitate to even say this. I'm
not gonna lie, but this is not the answer. My
dad taught me how to box, and I was just curious.
I just wanted to learn. I was like, I just
want to learn how to box. I wanted to learn
how to defend myself. I think it's kind of cool.
So he just kind of taught me, like, hey, you
always protect face, you always do this, to do that.
Never ever, ever, in a million years, did I think
(29:09):
one I would want to do that.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
You know. I don't even like seeing fights on TV.
I just don't.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
That's I don't like it. If someone's fighting, I turn off.
But I just it makes me physically ill.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I hate it.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
So there was a time where I just had had
enough and I remember we we ended up in my
house and I was like, let's like, we were just like,
let's go, and so.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
It was just it was such a weird. It was
just so weird. It was so weird.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
So we're sitting there just literally she's starting punches at me.
I'm blocking them. I'm not throwing any punch, I'm just
literally blocking them. And I remember blocking one and my
hand hit the entertainment center and it cut my hand
a little bit, and I was like, hold on, like
I need to deal with this because I was a
little afraid, like my parents were to be like how
did you get And it wasn't a ginormous cut or anything,
(30:00):
but how'd you get a cut?
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (30:02):
What's going on? And I didn't want them stepping in,
like I just it was something. I was like, I
need to take care of this myself. So you know,
all the noise, Oh well, we thought I beat you up.
I'm like, oh, this is not so. Finally, I just
had enough and one day in our front yards, I
remember just I just feeling this rage and again, this
(30:23):
is not okay. I'm not saying this is okay at all.
I think things should be handled before it gets to
this point. All I remember is literally being in the
front yard and her tapping me, saying I can't breathe.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I can't breathe, and I looked down. I was like,
oh my god, I don't ever.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Ever, ever, ever, And I don't think it was at
a point where it was anything so bad that it
was really hurting her or anything like that. It just
got me to a point where I was like, I
have had enough. And I guess that's just the way
that I stuck up for myself. And things are way different.
I mean we're talking, I'm a gen xer, Like, this
(31:03):
is way way different. I don't condone that I would
literally be heartbroken if this is you know what my
son's like, Well, I'm just gonna I would be heartbroken
if that's what happened. And we I can talk speak
for I should say my ex and myself, we've told
our son, no, you don't put hands on anyone.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
That's not what this is about.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
But by God, if someone's coming at you, you defend yourself.
So if someone were to come at you, if someone
hits you and you can't you know, literally they're coming
at you can't get away and they just start, then
you defend yourself. You don't ever start it. You try
to get yourself out of it. But if you are
(31:47):
not able to do that. That is fair game. I
am by no means gonna tell you sit there and
get beat Absolutely not, absolutely not. So I say all
of this because it's hard. It's hard when you've been
through something. You want to make sure your child doesn't
(32:08):
go through anything like that.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
But on the same token, you're like, I'm navigating through
all of this and every decision I make as a mom,
as a parent, every freaking decision I know could shape
in a positive or negative way. So that is how
I parent. Because people ask me all the time, what
is your parenting style? How are you and your son
so close?
Speaker 1 (32:30):
What about this? What about that?
Speaker 2 (32:32):
In every time it's a big thing, right, Okay, oh
you want to wear that? Okay, fine, well I wouldn't
wear that whatever. I don't even care. Honestly, I don't
care what he wears. But if he's like, well, I
want to wear a hoodie and sweatpants, I'm like, I
wouldn't wear that because it's gonna be nine your degrees.
That's kind of you know what I'm talking about? Those
things it's like easy whatever. What I'm talking about are
(32:53):
the hard things. I try to take a step back
cause look my redhead aries, Jenna, you name it. I
would when I was young, I would just tell you
like no, But I can't do that as a mom.
As a role model, I can't. I shouldn't. Right again,
(33:16):
did I want to be like f those kids?
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Okay? I did say that. I'm not gonna lie. When
my son's like, well, people keep coming up to me
and saying an x y Z, I'm like, fuck those kids,
I'm not lying. I did. I did, I did, I did.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
But he understands that from me as his mom of
me's when I say fuck them kids, He's like, Okay,
he understands. What I'm saying is forget what they're saying
to you. You be, you, you do you, you got this.
So my parenting style is open lines of communication. As
much as he will allow, as much as I guess
(33:56):
I try, I can't pull everything out of him right
at this stage, they're starting to become even more independent,
and I don't want to say keeping secrets, but they
want to feel like they have some things for themselves.
And you know, mom doesn't have to know everything, DA
doesn't have to know everything. So I keep those open
lines of communication. But my biggest piece, and I'll leave
(34:17):
you with this. My biggest piece is what advice am
I giving my child? And how is this going to
help him or hurt him? Is this a short term
fix or is this a long term fix? And I
hope that resonates with you, and I hope that helps
change a little bit.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Look, am I perfect? Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Do I still say stuff that I'm like, damn, I
should not have said that, and I do go back.
I'm like, you know, here, Cohen, we had the conversation
about this, and I don't necessarily know if that's right.
Maybe this, And that's what I mean by we grow
up with our kids, right, we get a chance, we
go back and we think about it and we're like,
I don't know, was that the right thing to say?
Not the right thing to say. I'm constantly evolving as
(34:58):
a mom. I'm constantly going I'm back and self reflecting,
but I'm also constantly watching how he reacts and acts.
I want to make sure at the end of the day,
I'm raising a child that knows he can be who
he wants, but most importantly, he can be happy. His
(35:22):
mental health is what I care about the most, so
he can become a happy adult because I'm gonna be honest,
I don't see very many of those.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
And on that note, i'm out
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