December 4, 2025 • 40 mins
Sammy Sins’ mom developed Parkinson’s Disease when they were still very young. But the lessons Sammy learned taking care of her were crucial to their job as a sex worker and content creator years later. In this episode, Chris and Gabe sit down with Sammy to talk about some of these unique discoveries, and the links between sex work, caregiving, and authenticity. Plus, how Sammy feels about code-switching as a non-binary creator, the emotional toll of churning out content, and how PrEP and DoxyPEP kept them safe while touring their K-Pop Dance party BIAS through Asia.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, viewers.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about queer sex.
Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. If
hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more offends
your sensibilities, you might want to skip this Viewer discretion
is advised. It's definitely not for kids.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Put your pussy.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Up, put your put your pussy up, put your pussy, put,
put your pussy.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Welcome to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. I'm Gabelon Sadez and.
Speaker 5 (00:30):
I'm christtison Rosso. Each week, we explore the sublime world
of queer sex, cruising, and relationships.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
We talk to queer folks of all kinds.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
We'll ask some questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations,
and provide practical advice that you can use at home.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Put joy, put put Joe, pussy, put job, put put
your put, put.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Your put up.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
So Chris so gay.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
We have talked about sex work on the podcast every season.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Uh, and I enjoy talking about it.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I you know, I think there's a lot of most
surrounding it, and it's helpful to break that because I
think people have a lot of misconceptions, and you yourself
have talked about doing sex work on the show as
well I have, So today I am wondering, is there
any lessons that you've learned that you have taken into
other aspects of your life.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Not judging a book by its cover is really important,
Like meeting clients, right, A lot of times I think
we snap to judge someone based on their parents, and
like they could be really lovely people, yeah, they could
also be psychopaths. Also being able to read people very quickly,
like energies, etc. Just like being able to like sess
out very quickly whether or not this is going to
(01:38):
be a safe interaction, which is you know, I'm hyper vigilant,
which is not great for my nervous system. There's a
lot of time where I'm like relaxed and just like
not on high alert, but I am on high alert
quite a bit.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So what about you.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
I know that you weren't necessarily a sex worker, but
you did work as a porn editor and were around
porn stars, right or act stars. Was there anything that
you learned from them, from interacting with them or being
on set with them that like you were able to
take into your everyday life.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I think I've maybe learned similarly not to judge books
by their their cover as well, because I think one
of the most shocking things working in porn and a
you know, a sex work adjacent industry, or you know
some people would call porn sex work, is that I
assumed queer people always had politics that resembled mine. I
was like, Oh, we're all working toward queer liberation, and
we all accept trans people, and none of us are Nazis.
(02:31):
And then I met some crazy people. I'm like, how
are you going to take three dicks and then be
like white supremacy, Like there's no space in that movement
for you.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
But they weren't. That's the they weren't.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
It complicated my sense of community and my sense of
politics in a very serious way, not like oh my god,
like the world is horrible, but like it taught me
to be more critical. It taught me to think a
little more critically, and I acknowledge the like weird complexities.
And I mean that's the other thing too. I think
I undid a lot of shame well while working in
that industry. I've told you all a lot about how
(03:09):
like porn performers taught me about Prep twenty thirteen. Like,
I'm deeply appreciative of that I learned how to talk
about sexual health very freely. But also think I learned
how to talk about sex period, and so I think
understanding that you can speak with friends about sex and
it's not weird, it is, in fact, sometimes a healthy
thing to do. I think sex workers have a lot
to teach us regarding like patients and openness and communication.
(03:31):
There is so much that we can learn from sex workers,
and in today's episode, we are going to be doing
just that.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Our guest today is Sammy Kim, a queer Korean American
sex worker, artists, community organizer, and caregiver. Using the name
Sammy Sims. They started only Fans in twenty twenty and
started gaining a following not only for creating representation in
the gay porn industry, but also using their platform to
be vocal about political advocacy.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I love that. I love a political slut.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Sammy's also an organizer within the Brooklyn nightlife scenes, starting
a very poplar K pop dance party called Bias in
twenty twenty two, which we love. Yeah, that was before
Kebob Demon Hunters. Okay, she was ahead of the curve. Together,
the sex work and the nightlife work enabled Sammy to
take care of their aging parents, which led to lessons
that they were able to take back into their sex
work and personal sexual experiences.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Their story is really fascinating and we're excited to be
able to share it with you.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Now.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, please welcome to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sammy Sin's.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Are welcome.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I'm super excited.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
I think this is my first podcast I've dined before
the Cherry. Yeah, I know, I'm like, should it have
happened earlier? But I'm excited that it's Sniffy's because I
am a frequent user of Sniffy's.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Okay, Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
I'm not gonna lie. I love Sniffy's.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I mean we do too otherwise, right, Yeah? Now are
you based out of New York?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I live in Bedscience and I'm a native New Yorker
as well.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
You grew up here in New York City? What was
it like being the child of Korean immigrant parents? How
did you find yourself in queer communities and like Bushwick
and Bets stuff.
Speaker 6 (05:00):
My parents lived in the Bronx. So my mom has
Parkinson's disease. She was diagnosed with it when she was
forty one. So I think from a very early age,
I was like a caregiver for my mom. So I
was living with them after college and I didn't really
have any friends, so I just started to go out
by myself just to meet people. And honestly, the rave
(05:20):
scene is kind of where I first started meeting kind
of like minded people, other people of color, other queer people.
You know, all these rays would happen in Bushwick. I
would just like be traveling from the Bronx to Brooklyn
like two three times a week just to be in
these spaces where I felt like I was meeting people
that I felt like I could be myself with. After
a year of going back and forth all the time,
(05:41):
I moved to Bushwick and that's kind of how I
started to meet my like cutie bipop community.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You started go going eventually.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Right, Yeah, I'm young and bro like, I'm gonna be
shaking my ass anyway, might as well make some coin
doing it now?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Was that sort of an easy on ramp into doing
a lot more like online content creation and sex work?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Was that sort of like dipping the toe in for you?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
It wasn't go go. That really got me there.
Speaker 6 (06:05):
I actually started doing full service sex work before I
started go going. Yeah, I actually started where I went
to college.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, how did that line of work help you to
provide financially for yourself and for your parents.
Speaker 6 (06:21):
I definitely started sex work as a big way to
provide financially for myself because I didn't want to worry
them and rely on them to provide for me because
there was already a lot that they were dealing with.
I just kind of saw how my mom's ability and
her body had changed, and I think I started to
become very attuned to understanding what someone's needs are and
(06:45):
kind of like picking up on it without it needing
to be verbalized. So like being a child of an
immigrant while her also being disabled, I started to grow
up a bit quicker and figuring out how to be
responded for someone else and putting someone else's needs before
mind sometimes. And I think that actually really did influence
(07:08):
my relationship with sex work. So when I started doing escorting,
I think that gave me kind of a foundation of
like how do I read what someone's needs are and
how do I know how to.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Give that to them?
Speaker 6 (07:22):
And like I'm in this position of like taking care
of this person. And so when I was escorting, that
is the way that I approached it. I was like,
I kind of see myself as a caregiver in this situation.
I'm in this space where you're hiring me because you
can't get what you want in this situation anywhere else.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Otherwise you would just hook up with.
Speaker 6 (07:41):
Someone, but no, you're paying me good money so that
you can get what you ask for because maybe you
have specific intimate or sexual needs that you want met.
And I really saw myself in a position to give
that to people and not just be like let me
just like fuck this person off the rails, you know,
given the best sex of their life and this crazy way.
But a lot of times it would just actually be
(08:04):
a very like intimate kind of like slow, very like
tender kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
I mean, I'm like having a revelation now as you're talking,
like I did sex work for ten to fifteen years.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, I'm god for.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
And I really never made that connection to being a caregiver,
right And like as you're saying, and I'm like, oh,
I absolutely must caregiving throughout all of my practice, right
Like because I was also a caregiver for my mom
before she died, and it was like a lot of
the same skills that I used there, I'm using there.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I think that's something that surprised me.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
When I first moved to New York and I started
meeting people in sex work and importn they were like, yeah,
so many of them would be like seventy to eighty
percent of the clients that I get literally want to
just be intimate in like not necessarily in a penetrative way,
just like be intimate and talk to somebody.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Yeah, when did you make that decision to start getting
into content creation.
Speaker 6 (09:04):
When I started doing escorting at twenty one, it was
kind of the longest job that I had had, But
when COVID hit, that was the first time that I
really had an actual break from doing escorting. It was
the first time where like I couldn't see people. And
during that time I realized that that was actually really
healthy opportunity for me to like kind of reassess my
(09:27):
relationship to sex work, my relationship to sex, my relationship
to my body, and how I value myself in this way.
And I realized I actually did need it to take
a step back from it because I was doing so
much work to like help other people kind of find
their pleasure. But then I think I didn't really know
exactly what is it within sex? What is it that
my body actually does want? Like what does make me
(09:50):
feel pleasure beyond being paid, beyond being kind of like
a sexy play thing for somebody else. So OnlyFans was
you know, becoming a bigger conversation in the social sphere,
And I did start thinking about it, like, could I
really do this? Is this the direction I want to
go in? Do I really want to be really public?
Because when I was doing escorting was really it was
(10:11):
quite private, Like actually not many of my friends even
knew that I was doing that work. By December twenty twenty,
I decided I really did want to do it for
a multitude of reasons. I thought that it was an
opportunity for me to have bigger purpose with what I
was doing through sex work, by creating more representation that
I didn't see in the industry as a queer Asian person,
(10:33):
creating safe spaces for people, and creating a space of
people can be vulnerable and ask for what they want
and really kind of explore what pleasure means on screen
and prove it to me that I can last. I
can do this and not just be this one note thing.
I can be all these multitude of things I want
to be.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Can you tell us a bit about how you took control,
how you made very intentional moves to make sure that
you saw and were part of the representation that you
wanted to see to address.
Speaker 6 (11:00):
I definitely was scared that if I was going to
be doing poor in publicly, which I very much made
the decision too. I was like, I'm not going to
be in a non profile like I want to use
my face.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I want to use my real name. I want people
to know that it's me.
Speaker 6 (11:15):
When I made the decision, I really had to trust
myself that I was making the right decision. I was like,
I kind of have to be an adult here because
no one is forcing me to do this but myself,
and I really want to be intentional.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
With the work that I was creating.
Speaker 6 (11:28):
So one way that I was really intentional about it
is for the first year or two that I did it,
I only did collaborative scenes with other Asian or people
of color. I didn't want to work with any white
content creators because I wanted to kind of show to
myself that I can make a splash on the scene
without needing a mainstream.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Idea of success or validation.
Speaker 6 (11:52):
I was like, I want to work with people that
I actually will have fun with, you know, like the
ault bitches, you know, people with different times, or people
that maybe aren't like mainstream attractive, but I'm attracted to.
So I was trying to be very intentional with that
when I started.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
What do you find now that you've done it for
a few years, what do you find that some of
the upsides and downsides have been to making that leap.
Speaker 6 (12:15):
Being a public figure means that I have a responsibility
in the way that I hold myself, in the way
that I express myself, the things that I say, whether
it's online or irl in public. Coming that responsibility is
something that gives me a purpose. Like porn is it's
not like the best way to be educated about sex,
but realistically it is, you know, the like a main
(12:38):
way that we're first exposed to visual representation and what
sex is. So I think that as a sex worker
and someone that does only fans and how I get
to make my own content, I think sex workers should
have a bit more responsibility in you know what we're creating,
and like what kind of message we're creating through the
media that we're making. So I think by being a
public figure in that way, it's made me feel like
(13:01):
I'm more accountable to my actions. I do miss a
little bit that when I was doing escorting, there is
a level of privacy there that I miss sometimes, like
always performing for the camera and for an audience. I
guess that level of like always holding myself to a
certain standard can get a little tiring, Like I miss
not always having to know what my best angles are
(13:22):
when I'm doing a certain thing, you know, like when
I'm doing escorting.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
It's nice that, like I don't have to overperform.
Speaker 6 (13:28):
I can kind of a lot of times just be
my real self, and I find that they really connect
with that the most. But then when I'm on a
screen like I you know, I amp it up, you know,
which kind of show the best sides a bit more.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Yeah, I mean that's my key too.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I want to be praised crazy once a go go
dancer always.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I'm interested.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
I mean this sounds like a lot, and I'm wondering
what the emotional toll is on you. As you were
balancing all of these different things in your caregiving for
your parents, doing sex, work, content creation, being a public figure, right, Like,
how are you taking care of yourself?
Speaker 6 (14:06):
Thank you for asking that, actually, because that's really hard.
That's been the biggest challenge of it all. I'd say,
I'm naturally such a giver that, like I wanted to
give myself into my work.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
I wanted to.
Speaker 6 (14:19):
I worked really really hard in the first three years
that I did, and then after that three year mark
of doing OnlyFans, I really did start to get tired,
and I really did start to start questioning is this
healthy for me? I think I kind of hit my
peek between the two and three year mark in terms
of I could see my numbers online just kind of
(14:39):
started to dwindle, like me my links or followers or
subscriber account. It made me start to be like, oh,
I need to do things differently. I need to shake
it up, and kind of like feeling insecure about myself
and feeling like I.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Am not enough.
Speaker 6 (14:54):
I need to be caught or I need my body
needs to be better. I need to like explore different kings,
I need to work with bigger creators, And that started
to really feel unhealthy. And how I was valuing my
own self and how I was spending my time and
always thinking I was in a deficit.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
I was always like had to catch up to other people.
Speaker 6 (15:15):
In twenty twenty two, that's when I started my CAPAP
party in Broadway, and so that started to become more
of a passion project of mine, and I started to
invest more of my time creating IROL community spaces. And
as we were throwing these dance parties, my co producer
and I we could see that, like people really enjoy
the space that.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
We were creating. People are just here to really like get.
Speaker 6 (15:38):
Lost in this aus and just like go wild on
the dance floor to K pop remixes that don't they
don't usually get to hear at the club. I was
starting to invest more time in that and then started
to kind of take a back seat with only fans.
Now it's like you're five that I'm doing only fans,
and I don't think I'm as excited about it, and
I think I've done so much that I've wanted to do.
(16:00):
It is very hard for me to take care of
myself when I do only fans. The landscape has changed
so much. There's so many creators. There's just so many
clickbaity ways that you have to market yourself too, and
I'm just really not into that. My mom's condition has
become more severe, you know, as she's getting older, so
I've also had to naturally just spend less time online
(16:23):
and just spend more time irl taking care of her.
And I find that that's just becoming more worthwhile to
me and how I spend my time. And it is
a little nerve wracking because OnlyFans has been the most
lucrative way that I've been able to support myself, and
since that's starting to decrease, I'm not really sure what
my next step is. And I don't think it's a
(16:44):
smart move for me to stop only fans, but I
think I have to trust again that what I'm doing,
Like I have to think about, like how am I
taking care of myself, like what fulfills me in that way?
Speaker 2 (16:54):
And you know, I think what you're saying, you know,
not to be reductive about it, but I think it
is so relevant to so many just stretes where folks
are self employed or have to seek out work on
their own. Right, anybody who's not working a nine to
five job now suddenly has to be a social media expert,
an editor, a branding and PR person. It's like every
industry seems to be pushing people towards having to take
(17:16):
on all these hats. You add that already exhaustive process
on top of something else that is physically and emotionally taxing. Right,
it can be fun, but it doesn't mean that you're not,
like you said, you're caring for others, you're.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Giving of yourself.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And so it's like, I can imagine that you don't
often get asked are you taking care of yourself? But
you are probably you probably should be, you know, asking
that often or asked that often for sure. Yeah, maybe
we've got to find someone with a stronger praise king
to take care of you.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
We're gonna find the goodest boy.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
That's a great idea for an assistant. Let's start searching.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I love that well, saving this is such a fascinating conversation.
We do to take a quick break, but when we
come back, we're gonna talk to you more about some
of the discoveries that you've made while doing sex work
online and how it's maybe changed your approach to your
personal relationships.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
So don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with Sammy.
We'll be right.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
Back all right, We are back in talking with adult
content creator Sammy Sin's about their life caring for their
parents and doing sex work.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
So, Sammy, earlier we were talking about some of the
kind of emotional connections you found between caring for your
parents and caring for your clients.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
As a sex worker.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
So I'm curious if we could dive into that a
bit more. Do you feel like there's always naturally been
a kind of a give and take between caring for
your parents and sex work.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
Whenever I started escorting, there's no guidebook of like how
to do it. I actually literally like searched on Reddit.
I was like how to be an escort, and like
there weren't a lot of resources, and most of them
were for like female escorts for like male clients. But
I wasn't sure, like do these people want me to
be a complete fantasy of like what they want to
(19:05):
see or is it better if I'm kind of just
like myself, you know. So for the first years that
I did it, I use an alias. I use a
name Gin because it's like Asian, like ambiguous of like
what country I'm from, Like, I'm like, oh, wait, whatever
country you want me to be, you know, Like I
was just trying to be a fantasy and trying to
like be what they want me to be. But the
(19:25):
more I did it, the more I was meeting clients,
I realized that they actually connect more to me when
I'm being myself. I realized, you know, when they would
ask me questions about myself, I want to hear me speak,
I would be kind of trying to fabricate my backstory.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
You know, and it just wasn't really enjoyable.
Speaker 6 (19:43):
So at some point I kind of stopped the act
and I was like, let me reappreci this and see
what it's like if I can just be a bit
more myself being in that space, I was like, oh, like,
this is about human to human connections, is about the
chemistry that only happens between me and you. I realized
I had a skill to pick up on what it
(20:05):
is that this person wants out of this situation and
kind of adapt to that but also still be in
an authentic version of myself. Picking up on people's needs
is something that I definitely learned by taking care of
my mom and pre anticipating someone's needs, you know, so
that they don't feel ashamed for having needs that need
(20:27):
to be met.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
You know.
Speaker 6 (20:27):
I have clients that maybe are blind or like partially blind,
or they are not able to move their body in
certain ways, just kind of picking up and like not
asking them certain questions and make them feel like they're
different necessarily and just focus on what makes them feel good.
So like if we end up kind of in the
throes of the act and we're having sex and maybe
(20:49):
they're not able to get in a certain position and
it gets kind of like awkward, and I'm like, oh,
that's okay, baby, Like let's just move a little bit,
like or like let's take a break, or you know,
or like let me get on top, you know, and
just lose.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
Yeah, because I'm not getting on top.
Speaker 6 (21:05):
But like, you know, just like really doing what I
can to meet them where they're at. Like with my mom,
there was so much of me that felt resentful about
having to take care of her when.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I was young. I want to live my own life.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
I think I got to the point where I did
feel bad kind of seeing her struggle and realizing that
I was very equipped to take care of her as
someone that is you know, youthful, but also if a
mama's boy, and as an EmPATH, as a piscy, I
realized I did kind of have to step in and
I had to kind of like go of my ego
(21:40):
and be like, yeah, I want to live my life.
I can still do that, but let me also just
take some time to like meet my mom where she's at.
Sometimes as a carerent immigrant, there was a lot of
things that she just needed help navigating. That For me,
as a native English speaker, I was able to help
her with like certain phone calls or administrative things or
(22:03):
like things with hospitals. She's kind of like has a
different walking pace than me. I have to kind of
like slow down because you know, maybe she's not able
to walk as fast as me, or maybe sometimes actually
because of her condition with Parkinson's and the mixture of
her medications, she's not able to control her body very well.
So she actually sometimes walks too fast and like she
(22:24):
starts to very be a bit uncontrollable. I could tell
my dad a lot of times would be really upset
and be like just like sit still and just like
don't go anywhere actually, because you're creating more harm and
more accidents by knocking things over and falling and hurting yourself,
like just like just chill, don't do anything.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
And that was really sad to see.
Speaker 6 (22:44):
I was like, no, like, just because she, you know,
isn't able to control her body, it doesn't mean that
she should be relegated to a life of nothing, Like
she should still be allowed her autonomy to make those
mistakes sometimes, of course, with precautions.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
I had to sometimes her just knock things over.
Speaker 6 (23:01):
I had to just let her walk and sometimes like stumble,
and like I would just have to be there to
like catch her. The point isn't for me to just
do it for her and finish her tasks for her.
If she wants help, that's great, and I can help her.
But I shouldn't just like do it for her because
it's more convenient for me. I should allow her the
space to do it for herself. And if she's struggling,
(23:24):
that's okay, like she's still trying to figure it out.
You know, those were really big skills that I learned
from my mom of like what it really means to
set my ego aside and put someone else's needs before mine,
And that, yeah, really was the essence of like how
I approached.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
Escorting, I think being a caregiver at a younger age.
I'm really grateful that I got that experience because it
did sort of shape the.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Way that I show up in the world now.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
Like you said, like meeting people where they're at and
just offering grace for wherever people are at is such
a skill that I'm glad that I have now.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
You know, I think a lot of people don't learn
that skill.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Because it's not one of those things that's like necessarily taught, right,
But it has really impacted the way that I show
up today, And I'm just grateful that I got those lessons,
although they were difficult in time to learn. Like walking
in my mom's pace, not helping her unless she asks
for the help, right, because like God, we used to
fight because I would just do things because, like you said,
it would be easier for me, it'd be quicker.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
But like she didn't ask for my help in that moment.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
You know, she is still trying to figure out what
her autonomy looks like as a person with an illness
that's like debilitating, right, And like who am I to
take that away from her?
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Exactly?
Speaker 6 (24:33):
That ties in so much to what consent is. I
think I learned a lot about what consent is through
my mom and being like, if she didn't ask me
for this, I shouldn't do it just because I want
to do it, Like I need to ask her for
her consent if I can help you. And so a
lot of times I'm like, can I help you first
before I do it for her? And sometimes she'd be
like yeah, and sometimes she was like I'm going to
do it and like she'll still kind of like it
(24:54):
won't be perfect. I'm like, well, she got to do
it and that means a lot for her, and that's
the important part.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, I want to talk about pleasure. What is your
relationship to pleasure.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
And how do you bring it into all the things
that you do, whether it be sex, work or constant creation.
Speaker 6 (25:07):
Pleasure is definitely like a big word for me in
my vocabulary in terms of how I navigate for me
what's right for me and what's not, what feels true
to me?
Speaker 3 (25:17):
What is it?
Speaker 6 (25:18):
I think when I really started to unearth my foundational trauma,
like why I am the way I am and how
I have early childhood sexual trauma that really influenced me
in wanting to be such a people pleaser in a
sexual setting specifically, it took me a lot of years
to recondition myself. So when I stopped doing escorting, when
(25:41):
I started only fans, it was me kind of partially
be like, Okay, now I can kind of take a
bit more control and choose why I coll out with,
choose why I'm having sex with for work, and kind
of based on an attraction. And as I was doing,
I was learning a bit more and more about what
my pleasure is, who I am attracted to. It was
really fun being a sex professional because I was having
(26:01):
a lot of opportunities to explore for myself where I'm
bottoming for I'm realizing, oh, I'm actually I am attracted
to like twinks as you know, as a bottom. For
me as a top, I'm usually more attracted to people
that are smaller than me. So if you're like a daddy,
I'm like, it doesn't do it. It doesn't do it for me, sadly,
because there's plenty of people that have offered, but I'm like,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Babe, like work, and I realized, like, yeah, like my.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
Dick does tell me the truth, you know, Like of course,
like I've tried, you know, like viagraph, I've tried like
things to like make the collaboration work, and I'm like,
at the end of the day, like let me stop
forcing it, you know, like I don't need to force
this collaboration with this person if it's so much work
that's not fun for me. At the end of the day,
I don't need to do that. There's plenty of other
(26:48):
you know, people that I can work with where it
is going to be pleasurable for me and I don't
have to chase after what I think people want to see.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
It's like what is good for me?
Speaker 6 (26:56):
And at the end, it's like that's going to keep
me going, That's going to sustain me and make me
like what I'm doing is worthwhile.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Speaking of kind of taking control of the situation, I
know now we have things like DOXYPEP and PREP obviously
that allow us to be proactive.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
About taking care of our health. So what kind of.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Conversations are folks having about that? Is that a topic
you bring up? And has that changed since you started?
Speaker 6 (27:21):
When I started, it was such a big part of
the conversation that people were having. I mean, I think
there still was a lot of stigma and like some
people might not want to work with you if you're
not on you know, PREP or taking doxy pep. I
think doxypep wasn't.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
As relatively newer.
Speaker 6 (27:36):
Yeah, I don't think as many people were taking it
or had access to it these days, Like most people
that I talked to are on both. I see that
there's a lot more conversation around people that are positive.
It's been nice to kind of see there are other
creators that are more comfortable with disclosing that they're undetectable
(27:57):
and are able to have a very prolific career.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
I mean there was some.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Sort of prevailing logic I think before Prepperly took off,
is that you you are likely safe for hooking up
with an undetectable person because they know their status on
medication to be undetectable and they're regularly getting tested versus
you know, mister around.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
The block, I might be DL might be by Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (28:19):
When I went to Asia, when I the first time
went to Asia and I was doing a lot of collaborations,
I was there for like three months, and.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
I was like, what countries did you visit?
Speaker 6 (28:27):
Vietnam, Soulo, Japan, some other ones. By the end of
the trip, I was like, oh my god, I need
to get tested right now.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
I'm like, I've tex a lot of people.
Speaker 6 (28:41):
Across international borders and I was actually shocked that. But
when I got that test results, I was negative. I
was like, that's beautiful, Like I love sex records. Like
we take care of results, you know, like everyone I'm
sure was doing the best to take care.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Of the due diligence.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Yeah, I think you missed Thailand because I we did
talk about your.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Shirt, the spot that she wears.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Literally wearing the shirt, I'm like, can you tell our
listeners who aren't watching what the shirt says?
Speaker 3 (29:09):
It says the future is lady boy.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
I love that. It's a very common phrase in Thailand. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (29:15):
It's from a brand called I Want a Bangkok. If
y'all are in Bangkok, you need to visit. I want
to have the best fab accessories and clothes. And I
wanted to wear it today because I'm like, all my
friends are dolls. Like, if you know me, my inner
circle is very much more dolls and queers than gays.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Correct, Well, I am very curious about that because you
are non binary, but you participate a lot in gay
porn scenes. Do you find that you are maybe not
necessarily code switching, but like almost presenting differently if you
are in a scene, then then you might express yourself
day to day.
Speaker 6 (29:51):
Definitely, Like I'm definitely performing for the camera and generally
knowing that it's for a more cisc audience. I mean,
I definitely like to imbue just my own style and
how I am naturally. But you know, like definitely sometimes
I like ham it up, and certainly it's like like
brow or like where you know, like a backwards hot
(30:12):
or something.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Drop their voice one octave on you know what I mean.
We know the way you look to me is crazy.
Not you just your normal. That's what some of them were.
I would never accuse you of that.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
No, we've heard your full vocal range, okay, Julie Andrews
out here because it's down here.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
But then these moments, Harry actually differ.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
You said, not far enough.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
We need an extractive in there.
Speaker 6 (30:41):
Like I love that meme where it's like this two
like the guys in the band and like yes this
we did that.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
You like that's honest.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Thank you for your love, queen.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Love that.
Speaker 6 (30:52):
Yeah, Honestly, I've always wanted to do get like gel nails,
but I actually never did because of only fans. I
was like, I don't know how people would like it
would turn people off if you saw me with it,
And honestly, that is such a shame to me that,
like I restricted myself from that because before I said
of only fans.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
My style was way more old.
Speaker 6 (31:12):
My style was way more like you look at me,
You're like, oh, that bitch lives in Bushwick, you know
that steady.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Art, Yeah, like therefore announce.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
That.
Speaker 6 (31:31):
Yeah, Like I had a red mullet, you know, Okay, yeah,
like red eyebrows, red like kids like keep it careful.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Was like, I'm that you committed to the red.
Speaker 6 (31:42):
You said, yeah, But I've definitely yeah, I've definitely kind
of changed my style to be more probatable because it's
more marketable. As I'm kind of transitioning out of it,
I've been I've realized I want to have fun with
my solid bit more like I I definitely had like
put the skirts away for a while, and I'm like, no,
like let me them back, you know, like let me
wear ribbons and bows and spaghetti straps.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I can relate to this so hard.
Speaker 5 (32:06):
I literally just did a tech talk about this a
couple of days ago where I put on a dress
for the first time in a year, and like the
tears that came unexpectedly, just because like I make a
lot of money in a mail presenting body, and so
I have just like put that other side away whatever
I'm like if I'm in a dress or if I'm
(32:27):
makeup or I have nails, like I have less opportunities
for that, which is crazy, but I have bills to pay.
Speaker 6 (32:34):
Yeah, and I will say that you know, there is always,
you know, a market for everything.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
There is.
Speaker 6 (32:40):
Yeah, Like recently I started playing around with wearing like
lace lingerie, and as I was taking pictures, I was like, wait,
I actually like really cut I actually I'm feeling the fantasy.
And I actually did upload my my lingerie photo as
like my main on my AD and I actually take
(33:03):
a lot of influx of messages that I really didn't
expect and I think I learned. I was like, oh,
like the way that we censor ourselves and the way
we think we need to be like, actually, that's not
always the tea because there are people that are going
to be attracted to the way that we are.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
This does kind of come back to your realization that, like,
not only are you creating content that people can get
off on, but you are also a public figure, and
I think whether you want to take that on or not,
people will look to you to imagine what's possible. Right, Like,
a porn is so much about opening people's imagining as
much as it's about slamming and the the sweat. It's
(33:38):
it opens your imagination a little bit. It opens your whole,
but it also opens your imagination. Yeah, and I love
the exact Thank you. Yes, let's make the hole in
your mind wing right, yeah, right, for sure. All right, Sammy,
we've almost reached the end of this episode, but there
is still so much more we want to know about you.
So it's time for a few rapid fire questions.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Are you ready? Are you ready? Okay? I feel like
we might have gotten to some of these, but through them,
give it to me, all right. Describe your Sniffy's profile.
Speaker 6 (34:08):
Song, good lighting, sweaty mirror, selfie, a little tready.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
That's all in one photo.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Yeah, I forgot.
Speaker 6 (34:18):
We were talking to an art student you have, you
were building it and that was just the first one
the other photos like it's a progression. Like the first
one is to me like the body pick with like
a little tasteful dick slip, and.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Then it's the base of the dick right.
Speaker 6 (34:37):
Like peeping out of the thong. And then the second
pick is full cock, like full hard like this is
this is it? And then the last two picks are
well the last the third pick is my ass mirror
pick like behind my back, and then the last pick
is me on all fours with the big dick like
mounting my my ass to let them know, like this
(34:59):
is the view you might have.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
You've got the full spectrum. You gave the girl a
proper album. I love that. Now, if you can remember,
what is the last message you received on Sniffee's God,
all of them are just hey, hey, hey, hey, hey there.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
Okay.
Speaker 6 (35:16):
The last one that isn't just hey is so I'm
spoiling a bit. Hi, Can I fuck you raw and
come inside?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Oh? What a nice offer? Yeah that's sweet.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
That's really nice.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Did you say Yeah? I was waiting for the response.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Yeah, it's unopened.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Oh I love that all right. So, if you're hooking
up with somebody, your place, third place or a third place.
Speaker 6 (35:37):
I used to only host because I'm fucking lazy, but
now I've had to travel because I've gotten so many
noise complaints from my Downsairs neighbor.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Okay, this is actually I'm sorry. I know this is
a rapid fire, but this is no.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
And you're mad about gay sex.
Speaker 6 (35:52):
Okay, Well, I think she's a bit of a crude
and I think her pussy is dry, and I guess
my floorboards aren't as.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
Thick as I think they aren't interesting.
Speaker 6 (36:03):
So I've lived in my apartment for almost three years now,
and for the first year and a half like no word.
But then at a certain point she left a letter
on my door and like like typed out and she
was like, dear tenant, da da da, Like I've been
hearing like a lot of noises from your apartment. This
is in violation of this clause and this clause in
our rental agreement contract. If you keep this up, like
(36:26):
I will escalate the situation. And I write a message
back to her handwritten.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
I was like, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that
you can hear this.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
She's come in so hot at first. Sometimes I'm like,
you just talk.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
And yeah, that's what I thought too. And then she
responds with a handwritten letter. Now she's like, thank you
for responding. I really appreciate it. Like I thought you
were an exhibitionist, and I'm like, oh, this.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Is just my normal.
Speaker 6 (36:50):
Yeah I'm not, but I'm not like trying to have
the whole apartment here, correct, right, And so like after
we I was like, I'll be more mindful in the future.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
And to me, being mindful is like.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
Not fucking late at night or a weekday, like reasonable hours.
And so I'm like, you know, like, the next time
I fuck the police come to my door, are you
fucking serious?
Speaker 3 (37:11):
She called the noise complain and.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
If you're listening to this, that is the worst, garliest,
shittiest thing I have ever heard of my life.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yeah, I'm so mad. Where do you live?
Speaker 6 (37:22):
And when she when the police came, that was her
first time that I saw her, because they came and
she came out of her apartment to come out to
the police and like yell at me and like dish
all this ship at me in front of them. I
think she felt emboldened because there was like a mediator
there and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
On a mediator law enforcement, that's fucking crazy.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
Didn't even give a.
Speaker 6 (37:45):
Yeah gay literally just said they're like, but she's going
at it. She's like, this person is having mad sex noices.
I can hear everything, like you must get off on it,
like letting everybody know. And I'm just I am mortified
because also the hookup is still in the like the
hookups are still in the room the hotel. Basically it escalated,
and most recently I got another letter from my landlord
(38:06):
saying that if it continues that I might get evicted.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
So now I don't host anymore.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Yeah, you can absolutely push back on this because it
is clear that she's harassing and she's trying to intimidate
you out of the apartment, and especially if the landlord
is getting involved and turning to evict you because of
this person, there's so many steps that should come between that.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
That's a deeply, deeply inappropriate person.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
I want it sounds like you live above a homophobe
and she heard a creaky bed one night and she
was like, the faggots aren't gonna have fun.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
But like, also she lives in Bushwick. You live in
New York. You live in Bushwick, Like you're gonna hear
shit yeah, yeah, they used to it. There's someone yelling.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Outside of my bedroom window every night. I'm like, okay,
I mean, all right, welcome to Brooklyn.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
I hear my own neighbors fucking and I'm like, it'bsolutely
that's crazy. It sounds maybe I know you ain't coming
after this, but you know what.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
No, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I feel like I've made an enemy and I haven't
even met this woman. All right, Sammy, it has been
such a pleasure getting to hear your story before you go.
Is there anything else you'd like to leave us with
and would you like to share? Where folks can find
you online?
Speaker 6 (39:07):
You can find me on Instagram, on OnlyFans on Twitter,
Sammyson's s A M M I S I N S
S S three S's at the M. I also throw
up by s n y C my K Pop remixed
dance Party. We're actually going to go on tour in
Asia again and I'm in bedsty So find me on.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
Sniffies if you see that profile I talked about.
Speaker 6 (39:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Big Sniffy's Cruisy Confessions is directed by Adam Barron, produced
by Amanda Kuper and Cameron Femino, and executive produced by
Eli market.
Speaker 5 (39:38):
Cruising Confessions is presented by Snippy's, the ultimate map based
cruising platform.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
We're Gay by Curious Pepol Ready to Bruise?
Speaker 5 (39:44):
Check out the map at snippies dot com and fall
snitches at Snippy's app.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Cruisers are a community. Do your part in keeping us safe.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Healthy Sexuals
dot com.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
Put job, put put jo put jo put
Hey, viewers.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about queer sex.
Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. If
hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more offends
your sensibilities, you might want to skip this Viewer discretion
is advised. It's definitely not for kids.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Put your pussy.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Up, put your put your pussy up, put your pussy, put,
put your pussy.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Welcome to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. I'm Gabelon Sadez and.
Speaker 5 (00:30):
I'm christtison Rosso. Each week, we explore the sublime world
of queer sex, cruising, and relationships.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
We talk to queer folks of all kinds.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
We'll ask some questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations,
and provide practical advice that you can use at home.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Put joy, put put Joe, pussy, put job, put put
your put, put.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Your put up.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
So Chris so gay.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
We have talked about sex work on the podcast every season.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Uh, and I enjoy talking about it.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I you know, I think there's a lot of most
surrounding it, and it's helpful to break that because I
think people have a lot of misconceptions, and you yourself
have talked about doing sex work on the show as
well I have, So today I am wondering, is there
any lessons that you've learned that you have taken into
other aspects of your life.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Not judging a book by its cover is really important,
Like meeting clients, right, A lot of times I think
we snap to judge someone based on their parents, and
like they could be really lovely people, yeah, they could
also be psychopaths. Also being able to read people very quickly,
like energies, etc. Just like being able to like sess
out very quickly whether or not this is going to
(01:38):
be a safe interaction, which is you know, I'm hyper vigilant,
which is not great for my nervous system. There's a
lot of time where I'm like relaxed and just like
not on high alert, but I am on high alert
quite a bit.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So what about you.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
I know that you weren't necessarily a sex worker, but
you did work as a porn editor and were around
porn stars, right or act stars. Was there anything that
you learned from them, from interacting with them or being
on set with them that like you were able to
take into your everyday life.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I think I've maybe learned similarly not to judge books
by their their cover as well, because I think one
of the most shocking things working in porn and a
you know, a sex work adjacent industry, or you know
some people would call porn sex work, is that I
assumed queer people always had politics that resembled mine. I
was like, Oh, we're all working toward queer liberation, and
we all accept trans people, and none of us are Nazis.
(02:31):
And then I met some crazy people. I'm like, how
are you going to take three dicks and then be
like white supremacy, Like there's no space in that movement
for you.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
But they weren't. That's the they weren't.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
It complicated my sense of community and my sense of
politics in a very serious way, not like oh my god,
like the world is horrible, but like it taught me
to be more critical. It taught me to think a
little more critically, and I acknowledge the like weird complexities.
And I mean that's the other thing too. I think
I undid a lot of shame well while working in
that industry. I've told you all a lot about how
(03:09):
like porn performers taught me about Prep twenty thirteen. Like,
I'm deeply appreciative of that I learned how to talk
about sexual health very freely. But also think I learned
how to talk about sex period, and so I think
understanding that you can speak with friends about sex and
it's not weird, it is, in fact, sometimes a healthy
thing to do. I think sex workers have a lot
to teach us regarding like patients and openness and communication.
(03:31):
There is so much that we can learn from sex workers,
and in today's episode, we are going to be doing
just that.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Our guest today is Sammy Kim, a queer Korean American
sex worker, artists, community organizer, and caregiver. Using the name
Sammy Sims. They started only Fans in twenty twenty and
started gaining a following not only for creating representation in
the gay porn industry, but also using their platform to
be vocal about political advocacy.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I love that. I love a political slut.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Sammy's also an organizer within the Brooklyn nightlife scenes, starting
a very poplar K pop dance party called Bias in
twenty twenty two, which we love. Yeah, that was before
Kebob Demon Hunters. Okay, she was ahead of the curve. Together,
the sex work and the nightlife work enabled Sammy to
take care of their aging parents, which led to lessons
that they were able to take back into their sex
work and personal sexual experiences.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Their story is really fascinating and we're excited to be
able to share it with you.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Now.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, please welcome to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sammy Sin's.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Are welcome.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I'm super excited.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
I think this is my first podcast I've dined before
the Cherry. Yeah, I know, I'm like, should it have
happened earlier? But I'm excited that it's Sniffy's because I
am a frequent user of Sniffy's.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Okay, Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
I'm not gonna lie. I love Sniffy's.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I mean we do too otherwise, right, Yeah? Now are
you based out of New York?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I live in Bedscience and I'm a native New Yorker
as well.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
You grew up here in New York City? What was
it like being the child of Korean immigrant parents? How
did you find yourself in queer communities and like Bushwick
and Bets stuff.
Speaker 6 (05:00):
My parents lived in the Bronx. So my mom has
Parkinson's disease. She was diagnosed with it when she was
forty one. So I think from a very early age,
I was like a caregiver for my mom. So I
was living with them after college and I didn't really
have any friends, so I just started to go out
by myself just to meet people. And honestly, the rave
(05:20):
scene is kind of where I first started meeting kind
of like minded people, other people of color, other queer people.
You know, all these rays would happen in Bushwick. I
would just like be traveling from the Bronx to Brooklyn
like two three times a week just to be in
these spaces where I felt like I was meeting people
that I felt like I could be myself with. After
a year of going back and forth all the time,
(05:41):
I moved to Bushwick and that's kind of how I
started to meet my like cutie bipop community.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You started go going eventually.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Right, Yeah, I'm young and bro like, I'm gonna be
shaking my ass anyway, might as well make some coin
doing it now?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Was that sort of an easy on ramp into doing
a lot more like online content creation and sex work?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Was that sort of like dipping the toe in for you?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
It wasn't go go. That really got me there.
Speaker 6 (06:05):
I actually started doing full service sex work before I
started go going. Yeah, I actually started where I went
to college.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, how did that line of work help you to
provide financially for yourself and for your parents.
Speaker 6 (06:21):
I definitely started sex work as a big way to
provide financially for myself because I didn't want to worry
them and rely on them to provide for me because
there was already a lot that they were dealing with.
I just kind of saw how my mom's ability and
her body had changed, and I think I started to
become very attuned to understanding what someone's needs are and
(06:45):
kind of like picking up on it without it needing
to be verbalized. So like being a child of an
immigrant while her also being disabled, I started to grow
up a bit quicker and figuring out how to be
responded for someone else and putting someone else's needs before
mind sometimes. And I think that actually really did influence
(07:08):
my relationship with sex work. So when I started doing escorting,
I think that gave me kind of a foundation of
like how do I read what someone's needs are and
how do I know how to.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Give that to them?
Speaker 6 (07:22):
And like I'm in this position of like taking care
of this person. And so when I was escorting, that
is the way that I approached it. I was like,
I kind of see myself as a caregiver in this situation.
I'm in this space where you're hiring me because you
can't get what you want in this situation anywhere else.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Otherwise you would just hook up with.
Speaker 6 (07:41):
Someone, but no, you're paying me good money so that
you can get what you ask for because maybe you
have specific intimate or sexual needs that you want met.
And I really saw myself in a position to give
that to people and not just be like let me
just like fuck this person off the rails, you know,
given the best sex of their life and this crazy way.
But a lot of times it would just actually be
(08:04):
a very like intimate kind of like slow, very like
tender kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
I mean, I'm like having a revelation now as you're talking,
like I did sex work for ten to fifteen years.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, I'm god for.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
And I really never made that connection to being a caregiver,
right And like as you're saying, and I'm like, oh,
I absolutely must caregiving throughout all of my practice, right
Like because I was also a caregiver for my mom
before she died, and it was like a lot of
the same skills that I used there, I'm using there.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I think that's something that surprised me.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
When I first moved to New York and I started
meeting people in sex work and importn they were like, yeah,
so many of them would be like seventy to eighty
percent of the clients that I get literally want to
just be intimate in like not necessarily in a penetrative way,
just like be intimate and talk to somebody.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Yeah, when did you make that decision to start getting
into content creation.
Speaker 6 (09:04):
When I started doing escorting at twenty one, it was
kind of the longest job that I had had, But
when COVID hit, that was the first time that I
really had an actual break from doing escorting. It was
the first time where like I couldn't see people. And
during that time I realized that that was actually really
healthy opportunity for me to like kind of reassess my
(09:27):
relationship to sex work, my relationship to sex, my relationship
to my body, and how I value myself in this way.
And I realized I actually did need it to take
a step back from it because I was doing so
much work to like help other people kind of find
their pleasure. But then I think I didn't really know
exactly what is it within sex? What is it that
my body actually does want? Like what does make me
(09:50):
feel pleasure beyond being paid, beyond being kind of like
a sexy play thing for somebody else. So OnlyFans was
you know, becoming a bigger conversation in the social sphere,
And I did start thinking about it, like, could I
really do this? Is this the direction I want to
go in? Do I really want to be really public?
Because when I was doing escorting was really it was
(10:11):
quite private, Like actually not many of my friends even
knew that I was doing that work. By December twenty twenty,
I decided I really did want to do it for
a multitude of reasons. I thought that it was an
opportunity for me to have bigger purpose with what I
was doing through sex work, by creating more representation that
I didn't see in the industry as a queer Asian person,
(10:33):
creating safe spaces for people, and creating a space of
people can be vulnerable and ask for what they want
and really kind of explore what pleasure means on screen
and prove it to me that I can last. I
can do this and not just be this one note thing.
I can be all these multitude of things I want
to be.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Can you tell us a bit about how you took control,
how you made very intentional moves to make sure that
you saw and were part of the representation that you
wanted to see to address.
Speaker 6 (11:00):
I definitely was scared that if I was going to
be doing poor in publicly, which I very much made
the decision too. I was like, I'm not going to
be in a non profile like I want to use
my face.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I want to use my real name. I want people
to know that it's me.
Speaker 6 (11:15):
When I made the decision, I really had to trust
myself that I was making the right decision. I was like,
I kind of have to be an adult here because
no one is forcing me to do this but myself,
and I really want to be intentional.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
With the work that I was creating.
Speaker 6 (11:28):
So one way that I was really intentional about it
is for the first year or two that I did it,
I only did collaborative scenes with other Asian or people
of color. I didn't want to work with any white
content creators because I wanted to kind of show to
myself that I can make a splash on the scene
without needing a mainstream.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Idea of success or validation.
Speaker 6 (11:52):
I was like, I want to work with people that
I actually will have fun with, you know, like the
ault bitches, you know, people with different times, or people
that maybe aren't like mainstream attractive, but I'm attracted to.
So I was trying to be very intentional with that
when I started.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
What do you find now that you've done it for
a few years, what do you find that some of
the upsides and downsides have been to making that leap.
Speaker 6 (12:15):
Being a public figure means that I have a responsibility
in the way that I hold myself, in the way
that I express myself, the things that I say, whether
it's online or irl in public. Coming that responsibility is
something that gives me a purpose. Like porn is it's
not like the best way to be educated about sex,
but realistically it is, you know, the like a main
(12:38):
way that we're first exposed to visual representation and what
sex is. So I think that as a sex worker
and someone that does only fans and how I get
to make my own content, I think sex workers should
have a bit more responsibility in you know what we're creating,
and like what kind of message we're creating through the
media that we're making. So I think by being a
public figure in that way, it's made me feel like
(13:01):
I'm more accountable to my actions. I do miss a
little bit that when I was doing escorting, there is
a level of privacy there that I miss sometimes, like
always performing for the camera and for an audience. I
guess that level of like always holding myself to a
certain standard can get a little tiring, Like I miss
not always having to know what my best angles are
(13:22):
when I'm doing a certain thing, you know, like when
I'm doing escorting.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
It's nice that, like I don't have to overperform.
Speaker 6 (13:28):
I can kind of a lot of times just be
my real self, and I find that they really connect
with that the most. But then when I'm on a
screen like I you know, I amp it up, you know,
which kind of show the best sides a bit more.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Yeah, I mean that's my key too.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I want to be praised crazy once a go go
dancer always.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I'm interested.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
I mean this sounds like a lot, and I'm wondering
what the emotional toll is on you. As you were
balancing all of these different things in your caregiving for
your parents, doing sex, work, content creation, being a public figure, right, Like,
how are you taking care of yourself?
Speaker 6 (14:06):
Thank you for asking that, actually, because that's really hard.
That's been the biggest challenge of it all. I'd say,
I'm naturally such a giver that, like I wanted to
give myself into my work.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
I wanted to.
Speaker 6 (14:19):
I worked really really hard in the first three years
that I did, and then after that three year mark
of doing OnlyFans, I really did start to get tired,
and I really did start to start questioning is this
healthy for me? I think I kind of hit my
peek between the two and three year mark in terms
of I could see my numbers online just kind of
(14:39):
started to dwindle, like me my links or followers or
subscriber account. It made me start to be like, oh,
I need to do things differently. I need to shake
it up, and kind of like feeling insecure about myself
and feeling like I.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Am not enough.
Speaker 6 (14:54):
I need to be caught or I need my body
needs to be better. I need to like explore different kings,
I need to work with bigger creators, And that started
to really feel unhealthy. And how I was valuing my
own self and how I was spending my time and
always thinking I was in a deficit.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
I was always like had to catch up to other people.
Speaker 6 (15:15):
In twenty twenty two, that's when I started my CAPAP
party in Broadway, and so that started to become more
of a passion project of mine, and I started to
invest more of my time creating IROL community spaces. And
as we were throwing these dance parties, my co producer
and I we could see that, like people really enjoy
the space that.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
We were creating. People are just here to really like get.
Speaker 6 (15:38):
Lost in this aus and just like go wild on
the dance floor to K pop remixes that don't they
don't usually get to hear at the club. I was
starting to invest more time in that and then started
to kind of take a back seat with only fans.
Now it's like you're five that I'm doing only fans,
and I don't think I'm as excited about it, and
I think I've done so much that I've wanted to do.
(16:00):
It is very hard for me to take care of
myself when I do only fans. The landscape has changed
so much. There's so many creators. There's just so many
clickbaity ways that you have to market yourself too, and
I'm just really not into that. My mom's condition has
become more severe, you know, as she's getting older, so
I've also had to naturally just spend less time online
(16:23):
and just spend more time irl taking care of her.
And I find that that's just becoming more worthwhile to
me and how I spend my time. And it is
a little nerve wracking because OnlyFans has been the most
lucrative way that I've been able to support myself, and
since that's starting to decrease, I'm not really sure what
my next step is. And I don't think it's a
(16:44):
smart move for me to stop only fans, but I
think I have to trust again that what I'm doing,
Like I have to think about, like how am I
taking care of myself, like what fulfills me in that way?
Speaker 2 (16:54):
And you know, I think what you're saying, you know,
not to be reductive about it, but I think it
is so relevant to so many just stretes where folks
are self employed or have to seek out work on
their own. Right, anybody who's not working a nine to
five job now suddenly has to be a social media expert,
an editor, a branding and PR person. It's like every
industry seems to be pushing people towards having to take
(17:16):
on all these hats. You add that already exhaustive process
on top of something else that is physically and emotionally taxing. Right,
it can be fun, but it doesn't mean that you're not,
like you said, you're caring for others, you're.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Giving of yourself.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And so it's like, I can imagine that you don't
often get asked are you taking care of yourself? But
you are probably you probably should be, you know, asking
that often or asked that often for sure. Yeah, maybe
we've got to find someone with a stronger praise king
to take care of you.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
We're gonna find the goodest boy.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
That's a great idea for an assistant. Let's start searching.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I love that well, saving this is such a fascinating conversation.
We do to take a quick break, but when we
come back, we're gonna talk to you more about some
of the discoveries that you've made while doing sex work
online and how it's maybe changed your approach to your
personal relationships.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
So don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with Sammy.
We'll be right.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
Back all right, We are back in talking with adult
content creator Sammy Sin's about their life caring for their
parents and doing sex work.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
So, Sammy, earlier we were talking about some of the
kind of emotional connections you found between caring for your
parents and caring for your clients.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
As a sex worker.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
So I'm curious if we could dive into that a
bit more. Do you feel like there's always naturally been
a kind of a give and take between caring for
your parents and sex work.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
Whenever I started escorting, there's no guidebook of like how
to do it. I actually literally like searched on Reddit.
I was like how to be an escort, and like
there weren't a lot of resources, and most of them
were for like female escorts for like male clients. But
I wasn't sure, like do these people want me to
be a complete fantasy of like what they want to
(19:05):
see or is it better if I'm kind of just
like myself, you know. So for the first years that
I did it, I use an alias. I use a
name Gin because it's like Asian, like ambiguous of like
what country I'm from, Like, I'm like, oh, wait, whatever
country you want me to be, you know, Like I
was just trying to be a fantasy and trying to
like be what they want me to be. But the
(19:25):
more I did it, the more I was meeting clients,
I realized that they actually connect more to me when
I'm being myself. I realized, you know, when they would
ask me questions about myself, I want to hear me speak,
I would be kind of trying to fabricate my backstory.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
You know, and it just wasn't really enjoyable.
Speaker 6 (19:43):
So at some point I kind of stopped the act
and I was like, let me reappreci this and see
what it's like if I can just be a bit
more myself being in that space, I was like, oh, like,
this is about human to human connections, is about the
chemistry that only happens between me and you. I realized
I had a skill to pick up on what it
(20:05):
is that this person wants out of this situation and
kind of adapt to that but also still be in
an authentic version of myself. Picking up on people's needs
is something that I definitely learned by taking care of
my mom and pre anticipating someone's needs, you know, so
that they don't feel ashamed for having needs that need
(20:27):
to be met.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
You know.
Speaker 6 (20:27):
I have clients that maybe are blind or like partially blind,
or they are not able to move their body in
certain ways, just kind of picking up and like not
asking them certain questions and make them feel like they're
different necessarily and just focus on what makes them feel good.
So like if we end up kind of in the
throes of the act and we're having sex and maybe
(20:49):
they're not able to get in a certain position and
it gets kind of like awkward, and I'm like, oh,
that's okay, baby, Like let's just move a little bit,
like or like let's take a break, or you know,
or like let me get on top, you know, and
just lose.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
Yeah, because I'm not getting on top.
Speaker 6 (21:05):
But like, you know, just like really doing what I
can to meet them where they're at. Like with my mom,
there was so much of me that felt resentful about
having to take care of her when.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I was young. I want to live my own life.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
I think I got to the point where I did
feel bad kind of seeing her struggle and realizing that
I was very equipped to take care of her as
someone that is you know, youthful, but also if a
mama's boy, and as an EmPATH, as a piscy, I
realized I did kind of have to step in and
I had to kind of like go of my ego
(21:40):
and be like, yeah, I want to live my life.
I can still do that, but let me also just
take some time to like meet my mom where she's at.
Sometimes as a carerent immigrant, there was a lot of
things that she just needed help navigating. That For me,
as a native English speaker, I was able to help
her with like certain phone calls or administrative things or
(22:03):
like things with hospitals. She's kind of like has a
different walking pace than me. I have to kind of
like slow down because you know, maybe she's not able
to walk as fast as me, or maybe sometimes actually
because of her condition with Parkinson's and the mixture of
her medications, she's not able to control her body very well.
So she actually sometimes walks too fast and like she
(22:24):
starts to very be a bit uncontrollable. I could tell
my dad a lot of times would be really upset
and be like just like sit still and just like
don't go anywhere actually, because you're creating more harm and
more accidents by knocking things over and falling and hurting yourself,
like just like just chill, don't do anything.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
And that was really sad to see.
Speaker 6 (22:44):
I was like, no, like, just because she, you know,
isn't able to control her body, it doesn't mean that
she should be relegated to a life of nothing, Like
she should still be allowed her autonomy to make those
mistakes sometimes, of course, with precautions.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
I had to sometimes her just knock things over.
Speaker 6 (23:01):
I had to just let her walk and sometimes like stumble,
and like I would just have to be there to
like catch her. The point isn't for me to just
do it for her and finish her tasks for her.
If she wants help, that's great, and I can help her.
But I shouldn't just like do it for her because
it's more convenient for me. I should allow her the
space to do it for herself. And if she's struggling,
(23:24):
that's okay, like she's still trying to figure it out.
You know, those were really big skills that I learned
from my mom of like what it really means to
set my ego aside and put someone else's needs before mine,
And that, yeah, really was the essence of like how
I approached.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
Escorting, I think being a caregiver at a younger age.
I'm really grateful that I got that experience because it
did sort of shape the.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Way that I show up in the world now.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
Like you said, like meeting people where they're at and
just offering grace for wherever people are at is such
a skill that I'm glad that I have now.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
You know, I think a lot of people don't learn
that skill.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Because it's not one of those things that's like necessarily taught, right,
But it has really impacted the way that I show
up today, And I'm just grateful that I got those lessons,
although they were difficult in time to learn. Like walking
in my mom's pace, not helping her unless she asks
for the help, right, because like God, we used to
fight because I would just do things because, like you said,
it would be easier for me, it'd be quicker.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
But like she didn't ask for my help in that moment.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
You know, she is still trying to figure out what
her autonomy looks like as a person with an illness
that's like debilitating, right, And like who am I to
take that away from her?
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Exactly?
Speaker 6 (24:33):
That ties in so much to what consent is. I
think I learned a lot about what consent is through
my mom and being like, if she didn't ask me
for this, I shouldn't do it just because I want
to do it, Like I need to ask her for
her consent if I can help you. And so a
lot of times I'm like, can I help you first
before I do it for her? And sometimes she'd be
like yeah, and sometimes she was like I'm going to
do it and like she'll still kind of like it
(24:54):
won't be perfect. I'm like, well, she got to do
it and that means a lot for her, and that's
the important part.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, I want to talk about pleasure. What is your
relationship to pleasure.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
And how do you bring it into all the things
that you do, whether it be sex, work or constant creation.
Speaker 6 (25:07):
Pleasure is definitely like a big word for me in
my vocabulary in terms of how I navigate for me
what's right for me and what's not, what feels true
to me?
Speaker 3 (25:17):
What is it?
Speaker 6 (25:18):
I think when I really started to unearth my foundational trauma,
like why I am the way I am and how
I have early childhood sexual trauma that really influenced me
in wanting to be such a people pleaser in a
sexual setting specifically, it took me a lot of years
to recondition myself. So when I stopped doing escorting, when
(25:41):
I started only fans, it was me kind of partially
be like, Okay, now I can kind of take a
bit more control and choose why I coll out with,
choose why I'm having sex with for work, and kind
of based on an attraction. And as I was doing,
I was learning a bit more and more about what
my pleasure is, who I am attracted to. It was
really fun being a sex professional because I was having
(26:01):
a lot of opportunities to explore for myself where I'm
bottoming for I'm realizing, oh, I'm actually I am attracted
to like twinks as you know, as a bottom. For
me as a top, I'm usually more attracted to people
that are smaller than me. So if you're like a daddy,
I'm like, it doesn't do it. It doesn't do it for me, sadly,
because there's plenty of people that have offered, but I'm like,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Babe, like work, and I realized, like, yeah, like my.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
Dick does tell me the truth, you know, Like of course,
like I've tried, you know, like viagraph, I've tried like
things to like make the collaboration work, and I'm like,
at the end of the day, like let me stop
forcing it, you know, like I don't need to force
this collaboration with this person if it's so much work
that's not fun for me. At the end of the day,
I don't need to do that. There's plenty of other
(26:48):
you know, people that I can work with where it
is going to be pleasurable for me and I don't
have to chase after what I think people want to see.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
It's like what is good for me?
Speaker 6 (26:56):
And at the end, it's like that's going to keep
me going, That's going to sustain me and make me
like what I'm doing is worthwhile.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Speaking of kind of taking control of the situation, I
know now we have things like DOXYPEP and PREP obviously
that allow us to be proactive.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
About taking care of our health. So what kind of.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Conversations are folks having about that? Is that a topic
you bring up? And has that changed since you started?
Speaker 6 (27:21):
When I started, it was such a big part of
the conversation that people were having. I mean, I think
there still was a lot of stigma and like some
people might not want to work with you if you're
not on you know, PREP or taking doxy pep. I
think doxypep wasn't.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
As relatively newer.
Speaker 6 (27:36):
Yeah, I don't think as many people were taking it
or had access to it these days, Like most people
that I talked to are on both. I see that
there's a lot more conversation around people that are positive.
It's been nice to kind of see there are other
creators that are more comfortable with disclosing that they're undetectable
(27:57):
and are able to have a very prolific career.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
I mean there was some.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Sort of prevailing logic I think before Prepperly took off,
is that you you are likely safe for hooking up
with an undetectable person because they know their status on
medication to be undetectable and they're regularly getting tested versus
you know, mister around.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
The block, I might be DL might be by Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (28:19):
When I went to Asia, when I the first time
went to Asia and I was doing a lot of collaborations,
I was there for like three months, and.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
I was like, what countries did you visit?
Speaker 6 (28:27):
Vietnam, Soulo, Japan, some other ones. By the end of
the trip, I was like, oh my god, I need
to get tested right now.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
I'm like, I've tex a lot of people.
Speaker 6 (28:41):
Across international borders and I was actually shocked that. But
when I got that test results, I was negative. I
was like, that's beautiful, Like I love sex records. Like
we take care of results, you know, like everyone I'm
sure was doing the best to take care.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Of the due diligence.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Yeah, I think you missed Thailand because I we did
talk about your.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Shirt, the spot that she wears.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Literally wearing the shirt, I'm like, can you tell our
listeners who aren't watching what the shirt says?
Speaker 3 (29:09):
It says the future is lady boy.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
I love that. It's a very common phrase in Thailand. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (29:15):
It's from a brand called I Want a Bangkok. If
y'all are in Bangkok, you need to visit. I want
to have the best fab accessories and clothes. And I
wanted to wear it today because I'm like, all my
friends are dolls. Like, if you know me, my inner
circle is very much more dolls and queers than gays.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Correct, Well, I am very curious about that because you
are non binary, but you participate a lot in gay
porn scenes. Do you find that you are maybe not
necessarily code switching, but like almost presenting differently if you
are in a scene, then then you might express yourself
day to day.
Speaker 6 (29:51):
Definitely, Like I'm definitely performing for the camera and generally
knowing that it's for a more cisc audience. I mean,
I definitely like to imbue just my own style and
how I am naturally. But you know, like definitely sometimes
I like ham it up, and certainly it's like like
brow or like where you know, like a backwards hot
(30:12):
or something.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Drop their voice one octave on you know what I mean.
We know the way you look to me is crazy.
Not you just your normal. That's what some of them were.
I would never accuse you of that.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
No, we've heard your full vocal range, okay, Julie Andrews
out here because it's down here.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
But then these moments, Harry actually differ.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
You said, not far enough.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
We need an extractive in there.
Speaker 6 (30:41):
Like I love that meme where it's like this two
like the guys in the band and like yes this
we did that.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
You like that's honest.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Thank you for your love, queen.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Love that.
Speaker 6 (30:52):
Yeah, Honestly, I've always wanted to do get like gel nails,
but I actually never did because of only fans. I
was like, I don't know how people would like it
would turn people off if you saw me with it,
And honestly, that is such a shame to me that,
like I restricted myself from that because before I said
of only fans.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
My style was way more old.
Speaker 6 (31:12):
My style was way more like you look at me,
You're like, oh, that bitch lives in Bushwick, you know
that steady.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Art, Yeah, like therefore announce.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
That.
Speaker 6 (31:31):
Yeah, Like I had a red mullet, you know, Okay, yeah,
like red eyebrows, red like kids like keep it careful.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Was like, I'm that you committed to the red.
Speaker 6 (31:42):
You said, yeah, But I've definitely yeah, I've definitely kind
of changed my style to be more probatable because it's
more marketable. As I'm kind of transitioning out of it,
I've been I've realized I want to have fun with
my solid bit more like I I definitely had like
put the skirts away for a while, and I'm like, no,
like let me them back, you know, like let me
wear ribbons and bows and spaghetti straps.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I can relate to this so hard.
Speaker 5 (32:06):
I literally just did a tech talk about this a
couple of days ago where I put on a dress
for the first time in a year, and like the
tears that came unexpectedly, just because like I make a
lot of money in a mail presenting body, and so
I have just like put that other side away whatever
I'm like if I'm in a dress or if I'm
(32:27):
makeup or I have nails, like I have less opportunities
for that, which is crazy, but I have bills to pay.
Speaker 6 (32:34):
Yeah, and I will say that you know, there is always,
you know, a market for everything.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
There is.
Speaker 6 (32:40):
Yeah, Like recently I started playing around with wearing like
lace lingerie, and as I was taking pictures, I was like, wait,
I actually like really cut I actually I'm feeling the fantasy.
And I actually did upload my my lingerie photo as
like my main on my AD and I actually take
(33:03):
a lot of influx of messages that I really didn't
expect and I think I learned. I was like, oh,
like the way that we censor ourselves and the way
we think we need to be like, actually, that's not
always the tea because there are people that are going
to be attracted to the way that we are.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
This does kind of come back to your realization that, like,
not only are you creating content that people can get
off on, but you are also a public figure, and
I think whether you want to take that on or not,
people will look to you to imagine what's possible. Right, Like,
a porn is so much about opening people's imagining as
much as it's about slamming and the the sweat. It's
(33:38):
it opens your imagination a little bit. It opens your whole,
but it also opens your imagination. Yeah, and I love
the exact Thank you. Yes, let's make the hole in
your mind wing right, yeah, right, for sure. All right, Sammy,
we've almost reached the end of this episode, but there
is still so much more we want to know about you.
So it's time for a few rapid fire questions.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Are you ready? Are you ready? Okay? I feel like
we might have gotten to some of these, but through them,
give it to me, all right. Describe your Sniffy's profile.
Speaker 6 (34:08):
Song, good lighting, sweaty mirror, selfie, a little tready.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
That's all in one photo.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Yeah, I forgot.
Speaker 6 (34:18):
We were talking to an art student you have, you
were building it and that was just the first one
the other photos like it's a progression. Like the first
one is to me like the body pick with like
a little tasteful dick slip, and.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Then it's the base of the dick right.
Speaker 6 (34:37):
Like peeping out of the thong. And then the second
pick is full cock, like full hard like this is
this is it? And then the last two picks are
well the last the third pick is my ass mirror
pick like behind my back, and then the last pick
is me on all fours with the big dick like
mounting my my ass to let them know, like this
(34:59):
is the view you might have.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
You've got the full spectrum. You gave the girl a
proper album. I love that. Now, if you can remember,
what is the last message you received on Sniffee's God,
all of them are just hey, hey, hey, hey, hey there.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
Okay.
Speaker 6 (35:16):
The last one that isn't just hey is so I'm
spoiling a bit. Hi, Can I fuck you raw and
come inside?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Oh? What a nice offer? Yeah that's sweet.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
That's really nice.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Did you say Yeah? I was waiting for the response.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Yeah, it's unopened.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Oh I love that all right. So, if you're hooking
up with somebody, your place, third place or a third place.
Speaker 6 (35:37):
I used to only host because I'm fucking lazy, but
now I've had to travel because I've gotten so many
noise complaints from my Downsairs neighbor.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Okay, this is actually I'm sorry. I know this is
a rapid fire, but this is no.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
And you're mad about gay sex.
Speaker 6 (35:52):
Okay, Well, I think she's a bit of a crude
and I think her pussy is dry, and I guess
my floorboards aren't as.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
Thick as I think they aren't interesting.
Speaker 6 (36:03):
So I've lived in my apartment for almost three years now,
and for the first year and a half like no word.
But then at a certain point she left a letter
on my door and like like typed out and she
was like, dear tenant, da da da, Like I've been
hearing like a lot of noises from your apartment. This
is in violation of this clause and this clause in
our rental agreement contract. If you keep this up, like
(36:26):
I will escalate the situation. And I write a message
back to her handwritten.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
I was like, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that
you can hear this.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
She's come in so hot at first. Sometimes I'm like,
you just talk.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
And yeah, that's what I thought too. And then she
responds with a handwritten letter. Now she's like, thank you
for responding. I really appreciate it. Like I thought you
were an exhibitionist, and I'm like, oh, this.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Is just my normal.
Speaker 6 (36:50):
Yeah I'm not, but I'm not like trying to have
the whole apartment here, correct, right, And so like after
we I was like, I'll be more mindful in the future.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
And to me, being mindful is like.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
Not fucking late at night or a weekday, like reasonable hours.
And so I'm like, you know, like, the next time
I fuck the police come to my door, are you
fucking serious?
Speaker 3 (37:11):
She called the noise complain and.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
If you're listening to this, that is the worst, garliest,
shittiest thing I have ever heard of my life.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yeah, I'm so mad. Where do you live?
Speaker 6 (37:22):
And when she when the police came, that was her
first time that I saw her, because they came and
she came out of her apartment to come out to
the police and like yell at me and like dish
all this ship at me in front of them. I
think she felt emboldened because there was like a mediator
there and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
On a mediator law enforcement, that's fucking crazy.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
Didn't even give a.
Speaker 6 (37:45):
Yeah gay literally just said they're like, but she's going
at it. She's like, this person is having mad sex noices.
I can hear everything, like you must get off on it,
like letting everybody know. And I'm just I am mortified
because also the hookup is still in the like the
hookups are still in the room the hotel. Basically it escalated,
and most recently I got another letter from my landlord
(38:06):
saying that if it continues that I might get evicted.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
So now I don't host anymore.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Yeah, you can absolutely push back on this because it
is clear that she's harassing and she's trying to intimidate
you out of the apartment, and especially if the landlord
is getting involved and turning to evict you because of
this person, there's so many steps that should come between that.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
That's a deeply, deeply inappropriate person.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
I want it sounds like you live above a homophobe
and she heard a creaky bed one night and she
was like, the faggots aren't gonna have fun.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
But like, also she lives in Bushwick. You live in
New York. You live in Bushwick, Like you're gonna hear
shit yeah, yeah, they used to it. There's someone yelling.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Outside of my bedroom window every night. I'm like, okay,
I mean, all right, welcome to Brooklyn.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
I hear my own neighbors fucking and I'm like, it'bsolutely
that's crazy. It sounds maybe I know you ain't coming
after this, but you know what.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
No, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I feel like I've made an enemy and I haven't
even met this woman. All right, Sammy, it has been
such a pleasure getting to hear your story before you go.
Is there anything else you'd like to leave us with
and would you like to share? Where folks can find
you online?
Speaker 6 (39:07):
You can find me on Instagram, on OnlyFans on Twitter,
Sammyson's s A M M I S I N S
S S three S's at the M. I also throw
up by s n y C my K Pop remixed
dance Party. We're actually going to go on tour in
Asia again and I'm in bedsty So find me on.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
Sniffies if you see that profile I talked about.
Speaker 6 (39:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Big Sniffy's Cruisy Confessions is directed by Adam Barron, produced
by Amanda Kuper and Cameron Femino, and executive produced by
Eli market.
Speaker 5 (39:38):
Cruising Confessions is presented by Snippy's, the ultimate map based
cruising platform.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
We're Gay by Curious Pepol Ready to Bruise?
Speaker 5 (39:44):
Check out the map at snippies dot com and fall
snitches at Snippy's app.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Cruisers are a community. Do your part in keeping us safe.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Healthy Sexuals
dot com.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
Put job, put put jo put jo put
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