July 25, 2024 • 38 mins
This week Gabe and Chris explore different types of communication that can help us have hotter and more dynamic sexual experiences. First, our hosts dive into the growing phenomenon of content creators making “verbal” audio files to get listeners off. Then, sex work guru Tomik Dash pops by to offer tips to better communication in intimate scenes. Finally, author and deep-voiced daddy Dale Corvino explains how the sex journals he’s kept for decades help him better communicate with himself and inspired his hot new book, “Bonds and Boundaries”.
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Chris Patterson-Rosso: instagram.com/cprgivesyoulife
Guests featured in this episode:
Induced Priapism
patreon.com/inducedmasturbation
Tomik Dash
Dale Corvino
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, viewers.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about queer sex.
Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. If
hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more offends
your sensibilities, you might want to skip this. Viewer discretion
is advised. It's definitely not for kids. Chris, Yes, would
(00:22):
you say you are a very verbal person when you're
in bed with someone.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I'm actually not.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I do a lot of talking outside of the bedroom,
and that's where I feel like I.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Can shut up. Though I do like nonverbal things of
like affirmation.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
But I'm not like one of these people that like
has like a list of things that I say when
I'm engaged in the acts.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
What about you, I would say, I am.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I like receiving encouragement and I like vocalizing when I
enjoy things. Yeah, but I would say that I'm not
like verbal, Like I think there's a lot there's like
porn verbal and there's like casual verbal. Yeah, And I
think some people think they've got to be like.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Porn verbal, yes, yeah, And I'm not into that yeah,
because it feels performative.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I mean, for me, I'm like, oh, am I in
my college impropit group again, like do I need to yes?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
And what's our setting?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
What's your intention? What's my intention for me? I'm like
trying to do dramaturgy in my head that takes.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Me out of the space, and then I'm not into
it because then I'm like, we're living that drama.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I mean, I'm pretty against I'm a loud mouth in
all aspects of my life for you, and sex is
truly no different good for you, which does bring us
to the topic of today's episode. In sexual situations and spaces,
it can often seem like silence and nonverbal communication are
the most reliable way to let your partner know what
you want. After all, if you speak up, you do
risk ruining the mood or breaking the fantasy butt.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
In today's episode, we're.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Going to teach you how to use the voice to
have better and hotter hookups.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Welcome to Stiffy's Cruising Confessions.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I Am Gabe goin, I'm Chris Patterson rosso Each week
weeks four, the sublime world of queer sex, cruising and
relationship will be talking to queer folks of all kinds,
ask them questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
A lot of us are discovering ourselves in cruising spaces.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
This happened to me at this toilet stall in the
library or the airport.
Speaker 6 (02:14):
I feel like everybody's gonna fuck a little harder here.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
So I've been like the neighborhood flat and I took
pride in that. I was so afraid but yet so intrigued.
Speaker 7 (02:23):
And the more I gave him, the more he could take.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
If you're having sex on Sniffy's, you already have a
moral deficit, Gabe.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah, have you ever heard about verbal porn?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Like like, yah, fuck me harder like that?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Like, what's no, this is a little bit different. It's
like a subgenre. Yeah, okay, it's a little bit different.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
So what it is.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
It's audio tracks that are designed to take you to
an erotic headspace, right, so like people do these recordings.
It's almost like ASMR, but for like sex.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I was gonna say, it sounds like a like a
horny podcast. Yeah, but if so this one, Yeah, yeah, welcome.
Maybe you're listening to verbal porn right now.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
So here's the thing. We have some examples. Do you
want to hear a something?
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Absolutely, Are you kidding? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
These are by induced Priapism who puts these tracks on Patreon.
So let's hear the first track. This is called happiness.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Spelled just sort of. Viewers called penis h A P
P E N. I s, Oh what you're doing there?
You a little masturbator? Are you masturbating?
Speaker 7 (03:30):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (03:30):
I couldn't sell because you see, happiness supposed to be fun. Wait,
and you don almost like you're having fun.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Oh my god, I'm in my head about it.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
If you're having fun, you'd smile.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Oh my god, I'm screaming it right now.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Just give me a little grin, the like.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Growishness, but then like the undertone of the happiness, my smile,
happiness smile.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Bigger people put up like YouTube videos of them doing
a hell on their own and you get like.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Figure there you go, Oh my god, I just want
you to have a big dopey grin while you watch
your porn while you touch yourself.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Kind it is kind Okay, that's enough of that.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I truly feel like I walked into the art gallery
of my college's art departments and the gay guy that
I've had a crush on for three years is like, Hey,
I'm doing my senior thesis projects and yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
This is it.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
It's it's queer soundscapes to get you hard. I am
kind of obsessed. Also, this can't be easy to edit. No,
Like I know, I've seen a lot of videos on
porn streaming sites where people kind of egg you on,
Like there's like the Popper training videos to like verbal daters.
But this is really interesting because I don't think i've
(04:51):
ever heard like just audio trucks.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
This is like a mantra.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I would start my morning with smile, smile when you masturbate.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
And I would play that as like a morning mantra.
I will not play it when I'm in my sexy mood.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
No, yeah, you know I played before to like get
in the mindset like hours later.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
But it's like you gotta start your day, start your
day with this.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Yeah, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm going to do that
later exactly exactly see where smiling.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
So this was effective? Yeah it was. And you can't
tell but I am masturbating right now. Oh my god.
Yeah it's wild. Okay, you want to hear another one?
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Oh wow, yes, absolutely, yeah, this one is let porn
entertain you.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Well, it has okay.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
Hey they're masturbate or I heard you're having trouble falling
in love with porn and I'm here to help you out.
It is completely normal for porn addicts to lose interest
in pornography from time to time. Normally it's your body
signaling you to do other.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Things, like other than the monks chanting in the background.
We both know they're changing chanting phography as.
Speaker 8 (05:59):
You and so your only other option, of course, is
to find a new appreciation for porn, one that truly
compliments your porn addictive lifestyle.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
First and foremost.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I need to sit back like a three B.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah gets that I would have had a crush on
in high school. Yeah, and then comes out years later,
and when we hook up in our hotel events.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
From wanting to be more addicted to porn, you're just
taking your addiction way too seriously.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Oh my goodness, I feel like I'm getting verbally done.
Yeah that was.
Speaker 9 (06:39):
Well, that wasn't an experience as a sober person talk
about your.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Triggered by this.
Speaker 9 (06:46):
I was like, uh, should we be leaning into the
addictions of events? You gotta babes. Yeah, you can't be
calling in late because we're still jerking in.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, this has got to be like a very specific
maybe like fetish, right, having somebody like like kind of
enable you dom you into being like, oh, I'm like
wow over porn.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
That's that's my impression. Yeah, that's what good is. Right,
let's go to the next track. I need to hear
this next one. So the next track is called how
I approach verbal Okay.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
I just thought like I would teach you just how
to verbal bate just a little bit better. If you
can already hold a conversation while you masturbate, then you
should be fine and honestly.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Love doing Probably then just started.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
May not live in a place where you can, you know,
be verbal when you masturbate. You may live with roommates
or family, and that's completely fine. Maybe someday you'll afford
your own apartment some day. This is so aspirational work
I love. And so first of all, you're gonna need
to masturbate. You're gonna need to touch yourself. Okay, that's
that feels very pleasurable. Yeah, do this by stroking your penis,
(08:02):
looping it up and stroking it really fast, or if
you finger your hole and digging around or you could
play with your nipples, or you can use the massage
or whatever you want to do. Just fucking masturbate, you know.
And step simple too, of course, would be you gotta
open your mouth. Oh you know, just open your mouth,
(08:22):
just let it slack, you know, just keep it open
so open that I could go in there and now
and I was like to have their mouth open with
drool coming out on the perch to say some stupid
ship around the verge, to say something that makes them
really horny. So keeping a nice open jaw, nice open
(08:43):
mouth is really fucking important for verbal then that's a
good first step to learning how to talk while you
masturbate is actually moaning a lot. It really is no
different than you know, somebody learning how to speak for
the first time. It really is just like penis speech therapy.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Just moan a lot, you know where and does medicaid
coverund come out and just moan.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
That's that's a great first steps. Listen to the sound
of your voice. Feel how good it feels to talk
while you masturbate, To moan while you masturbate, really just
enjoy how your voice sounds and how your voice feels.
That's that's what most verbobaters get out of it, you know,
and I'd say the next natural step is moan while
(09:29):
your tongue's hanging out. You know, your tongue gets a
lot of use throughout the day. It gets really worn
out to particulate words and use it in different speech patterns.
And I can't very about dis muscles, so you know,
relaxing it just sticking your tongue out while you really
really pleasurable. You have to just stick it out and
(09:50):
go like, you know, you can just really try that out,
to just let it flop out of your mouth.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Oh what a journey. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (10:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
What I found interesting is that as he's breaking the
steps down, I'm like, oh, I could do this.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah? Is this the future of porn?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
I love the idea of like porn on the go,
like yes, Like I could see someone listening to this
on the l train, Yes, and just not knowing and
having like a little secret to themselves.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I don't know if we tried to make one of these,
what do you think it would sound like?
Speaker 9 (10:25):
You do it?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Why not? Do you want to take like the main
role and I'll do the background sound. I'm much better
at the background. You're better. I love switch off. I
like the harmony. Let's find the harmony. Okay, you know
what I mean. You picked the note and I'll find
the harmony.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Okay, great, Okay, so let's give it. Let's give it
a show. We kind of have to get close to
the mics for this one. Ah, you woke up this
morning this morning and realized you needed to run errands,
which is an unpleasant thing to do.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
But then.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
You walk into your bathroom thinking that you don't have
any toothpaste, only to find your boyfriend already woke up
and bought some.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Doesn't that cut you hard? It's the poetry. Now.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Well, thank you to Induce Priapism for this wonderful prompt
and auditory experience. Please check out his Patreon and Twitter
using the handle induced Priapism.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
When we come back Toomic Dash shops by to talk
about what it means to be a verbal affectionate dom
see you after the break.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
All right, y'all, welcome back. I am thrilled to welcome
our first guest.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Thoma Dash is a black, gay, left handed, near sighted,
outspoken entrepreneur, writer, activists, and sex worker. As the CEO
of fag Rag Magazine, he publishes Evocative Fine Art LGBTQI
plus magazines, which have editions in New York City, Fire Island,
and Provincetown. Toomic also serves as the executive director of
the Black and Brown Equity Coalition, a nonprofit advocating for
(12:18):
qtpo C equity on Fire Island.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
And he also used to cut my hair. Yes, welcome topic.
That's like a pint tumple threat.
Speaker 7 (12:27):
Right there is wild business card just says doing the most.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
You know what I do the most?
Speaker 9 (12:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (12:34):
Too much? In New York fashion, right truly.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Tomic, I saw that you describe yourself as a verbal
affectionate dom What does that mean to you exactly? And
how do you think that sort of describes not just
your voice, but like your sort of demeanor and energy
with other folks? I, like I said, I default to
being domb but when I do that, I also like to.
Speaker 7 (12:57):
Shower my partner with affection like in between, right, So
I let them know the things that I'm going to
be getting into, like the things I might want to
say or the things that I might want to do.
I let them know that there is like a punishment
aspect and there's a reward aspect.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Right, Okay, yeah, we're looking hole for immunity.
Speaker 7 (13:24):
So it's like, you know, I like telling guys what
to do. I like guys who can follow direction, and
so if they can't follow direction, there's going to be
some kind of like punishments involved. So when I approach that,
I like to invite the guy over and typically start
with punishments.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Right, Okay, yeah, a my co hosts perking up.
Speaker 7 (13:52):
And the reason I like to do that is because,
like one, I'll go through the things that, like, you know,
punishment might intel in my intel slaps in the face,
it might Intel spanking, it might Intel flogging, it might intel.
You know, all these different kinds of things. And if
you say that you're into these things, and we can
start with the punishments, I like to start and let
you let me know if that's too much. So I
(14:12):
start light with all of them. Right. So I'll set
somebody down in front of me. Usually like guy gets
into like a sub position, like on their knees in
front of me, and I let them know. Okay, so
we're gonna start with punishments. I'm gonna start light with everything,
and you let me know if I can go harder. Right,
And that's before we even start fucking. Sometimes my clothes
are still on, and so I'll start and I'll be like, Okay,
(14:35):
that's good. Can I do harder? Yes, I keep going harder.
And then when I get to like a threshold and
I know that when we actually do start fucking, this
is where I this is how hard I can go.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Oh wow, what a great in the heat of the moment,
we're not like figuring that out.
Speaker 7 (14:47):
Yeah, because if you let me, I will slap the
shit out of you.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, okay, let me introduce you to my mom. You
have a very similar ethos in life.
Speaker 7 (15:00):
Yeah, yeah, and I and there have been times, like
in the heat of the moment where I have like
gone and slapped the ship as somebody. And I remember
with one guy who was like a friend for a
long time and like we ended up hooking up. This
was after I cut his hair, not you, this is
my sister. We were fucking and I just like, damn
(15:25):
well them and he like turned around like like a
mad woman in a telenovela, just like that shock right,
and he was like not my face and I was like,
I am so sorry, like it just kind of you know,
And that was like something in the moment where I
was like, Okay, I need to check myself on that,
(15:46):
you know. So yeah, having being able to start that
way is super helpful. It's also hot.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
It is It's like a very sexy way to sort
of communicate what limits are, what is enjoyed and what
is not, and I think there are ways to do that.
Everybody's like, oh, do we really have to ask for
people to consent? And I was like, yeah, you do,
and it doesn't have to be like may I do this,
may I do that. It's like you can kind of
communicate very clearly about what's going to happen, make sure
(16:14):
folks are okay with it, gauge where limits are, and
then start playing. Like that sounds like a really lovely
and very hot way to engage in four play especially.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
I was just going to say, it's like, it's really
hot for play.
Speaker 7 (16:26):
Also, some guys don't think that they're into something, but
if you say you're going to start really lightly like,
they try it and they're like, oh wait.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
A little light bulb goes off.
Speaker 7 (16:35):
Yeah wait a minute, Yeah, I feel like I'm going
to start with playful slaps. Then guys are like, okay, yeah,
I can try that and then before you know it,
they're like, oh yeah, keep going, keep going. I'm like, okay, cool,
we just unlocked a new level.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yes, I'm really bad at the sex talk, but I
would like to get better at that.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
How do you suggest I start that?
Speaker 7 (17:00):
There's two ways you could do that.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I think.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
One way.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I feel like you just five more ways. While you
were thinking about.
Speaker 7 (17:14):
Yeah, I was gonna say one way you could be
like in the mirror, yeah, before somebody broke in a
you know, before somebody comes over, hype yourself up and
just like practice it. I think another good way to
do it is to hook up with somebody who is verbal.
(17:37):
You know. One thing I really love to do is
make guys repeat stuff after me, especially guys who like
aren't verbal. Yeah, and if they're like nervous about it,
maybe I'll make them do it with their mouthful so
the full words don't have to come out.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
You're like, I'm helping, Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (17:55):
I really love making guys talk with their mouth Okay, okay, yeah,
I love what right? And sometimes like guys are really
kind of like timid about it, you know, like say
something and be like, you know, even if it's easy
like say thank you, you know, and they'll just kind
of like look at me, and I'll be like say
thank you, you know, until they do it, and then
it's just like eventually they're like, Okay, this is what
(18:17):
we're doing, and then they get into it. So I
think that's another way to like, you know, get like
hook up with someone who is verbal yah and can
like bring that out of you.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
I'm curious, do you have sort of a persona that
you take on when you are doming that is different
than Tomic in real life that helps you kind of
be less self conscious?
Speaker 7 (18:34):
Yeah, I mean Tomic in real life is total like pussy,
like serving pussy. Clarify that. Yeah, my persona is my
daytime persona is very different than my in the bedroom persona.
Like there is a code switch that happens for sure,
(18:55):
And I don't know how that happened, you know, I
don't I was into it for I got into sex work.
It may have come from just like watching porn and
also like seeing the way like black tops are portrayed
in porn and maybe me have feeling like there is
an expectation for like the way I should show up
(19:15):
and kind of like leaning into that and then I
just maybe kind of like stuck with it and like
ended up enjoying it. I don't I don't know how
to you know, tell someone to how to switch into
that into that mode, you know, because if you don't
own it, it's very obvious.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 7 (19:34):
I saw this one interview with Jill Scott on The
Breakfast Club and she was talking about how she's like
such like a dominating woman, right, and she's like, you
can't just be like a man who comes in and
like tries to just like tries to tell me what
She's like, if you can tell me what to do,
you can tell me what to do, but if you
cannot tell me what to do, you cannot tell me
(19:56):
what to do.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
And it's but yeah, such a It's like I'm like,
you know that makes sense, Yeah, truck.
Speaker 7 (20:04):
Yeah, Like it's not hot if like someone's coming in
and like trying to like play this role and being
like trying to be a dom it's like girl, yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Right, And that's maybe the response I get. Okay, girl,
I didn't know it was you taking off the blind hole.
Speaker 7 (20:23):
Yeah, that's not saying don't try it, you know. I
feel like there's always hopefully someone where you can like
go into a space where you're comfortable with exploring things.
Maybe it's not something that you should be trying with
like a one off, you know, but if there's someone
who like you, are regular with or comfortable with and
they want to like try something new, then try that.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
If you were going to tell me to do something,
how would you tell me to do something?
Speaker 7 (20:49):
What if I tell gable to do?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Okay, Oh, this will be interesting, this will be very interesting.
All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna Jill Scott.
Speaker 7 (20:56):
You.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I was like, if you can't tell me what to do,
you can't tell me what to do.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
But yeah, get on your fucking knees. Okay, yeah, okay,
yeah would you? Yeah you just get you get a
you add a fucking and you say it with vigor.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Yeah, it's like it ran, I have to own it. Yeah. Yeah,
I can never fully commit, you know, but I meant to.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
Okay for real.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Oh, these aren't my genes. I'm sorry, these aren't my genes.
She's like to give them back time. I'm curious.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I feel like enthusiastic consent is a phrase Wese often
these days, it's relatively new to describe something that people
have been doing for a long time. How besides the
sort of preamble for play that you told us about,
do you think of incorporating enthusiastic consent both into your
work and your personal life.
Speaker 7 (21:47):
I always like to do check ins, you know, so
like in the middle of things, Like even if we
did kind of like agree to something in the beginning.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
It's just like, how are we doing?
Speaker 7 (21:55):
Like throwing that in there, it's like doesn't break character,
it doesn't make anything weird. But just like doing that
little check in, it's like very helpful, and it keeps
everybody like feeling like, Okay, this is good. We can
keep going, you know. Yeah, and yeah, I think that's
what I think. It's just a good check in is
always always very helpful.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I love that. That's a really good piece of advice.
Speaker 7 (22:16):
I also like to check in during breaks, because that's
when like the demeanor comes down.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
You know.
Speaker 7 (22:21):
It's like if we're like laying there and like taking
a little break and like making out or something, it's
just like, how are we doing? You know, is there
anything you don't like? I also like to tell guys like,
don't feel like you have to endure anything, Like the
point of this is for you to be experiencing pleasure too. Like,
I know it feels like this is very me centric,
(22:42):
but I want to make sure that you are having
a good time because that is also what like gets
me off, and we should both be having a good
time here, right, Yeah, So I think that's another great
reason for breaks, and that's another great time to make
sure that everybody is consenting and having a good time.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
And I think at the end of the day that
still is a form of enthusiastic consent, right, regardless of
the however enthusiastic the delivery sounds. You're taking the time
to like check in during the act, take breaks, and
like drop the persona.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I mean, this is something I love doing. Like just
looking down at somebody where you're sucking them, being like
you good? Is this cool?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And hearing the very excited yes is to me kind
of a turn on, but it's also a great moment.
So there are just so many places and ways that
you can check in during sex, especially with like subdom
play and like kind of like more physical play. I
think those things are really important. And the fact that
you have like a practice and a system. I think
says a lot about how much care you put into it,
(23:40):
for sure.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah. Yeah, part of that can verbo veer towards being corny.
Speaker 7 (23:48):
If you don't own it. Yeah. A couple of weeks ago,
I went to a sex party and there's this one
guy who was just kind of like yeah, fuck yeah
fuck him, you know, and I'm just like.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Can you not please you know, that's the best way
to clear a room.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, honestly, they should bring in that guy at three
point fifty nine every bar.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Fuck true.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
I was like, what are you dumb? Yeah, but I
will say for I mean, I remember when I was
editing porn.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I'd be going through the footage sometimes and I think
when people run out of things to say but want
to feel like they're like I'm putting my all into it,
what you.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Get is just fuck fuck yeah fuck fuck yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
It's like just a series of funcks.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
And I was like, we gotta we need to whip
out a physaurus, baby, like we need un vocabulary. I
need some Like it doesn't even feel like they're responding
to what's happening. It just feels like they're going into
sort of an automated It's like straightcorn like that.
Speaker 7 (24:50):
Is like such a straightcorn thing to do. Like I
feel like we don't do that as much in like
gay porn, Like it's more authentic, it's more real and
like when you can tell when it's not totally.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
Well, Atomic, thank you so much for stopping by. It
is really good to see your face.
Speaker 7 (25:05):
Good to see you. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Of course, where can people find you?
Speaker 7 (25:09):
I am at toomic T O M I K to
the number two point oh p O I N T
zero on everything.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
On everything right across the world. Awesome. Well, thanks so
much for coming in. We love that consistency.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
And when we come back, we are going to be
talking with a very notable and very sexy Daddy is
going to teach us about a new sex practice that
will help you better communicate with yourself.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Oh god, what is that like?
Speaker 9 (25:41):
On exposure?
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Welcome back our final guest.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Deale Corpino found his confessional voice at Queer Underground Literary Salons,
where he first started reading his salacious writing about his
youth spent as an object of lawe. His debut novel,
Bonds and Boundaries was just published, and it's a collection
of short stories which explore conflicts between chosen and biological families,
sex work interactions, and the afterlives queer people must often
(26:11):
build over displacement and loss. For decades, Dale has kept
meticulous records of his own sexual history in sex journals,
some of which inspired the stories in Bonds and Boundaries. Welcome,
Dale Corvino.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
How are you doing.
Speaker 6 (26:26):
I'm doing great. Thanks for having me over.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Talk to us a little bit about the book.
Speaker 6 (26:30):
I'm so excited about this book. It came out in October.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
It's a collection of short stories which I've been working
on over a decade, and there's a level of auto
fiction in all of them, Like they're pulled from my
real experiences. I'm processing my childhood trauma as a queer
gen xer. I'm processing my sex work interactions, the loss
that you experienced inevitably when you get to be somebody
my age, like processing the grief of those losses. So like,
(26:54):
that's what I think of as afterlives. The middle section
is actually all sex work interactions and characters and scenarios,
and that's those are all pulled directly from my sex
work diaries because I was like a by the hour
hustler in the early two thousands, and.
Speaker 6 (27:11):
I made a fabulous living.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
So I started journaling diary keeping just to keep sane
through it all and also like to keep an account
of what I was picking up, like learning.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
I love this idea of taking Jordan winters and writing
them to sort of stories. I kind of wish that
I had done that. I'm currently writing my book and
I kind of I have forgotten so much, but I
love this.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
I think it's just really really powerful work.
Speaker 5 (27:33):
I wanted a depiction of a sex worker that was
like a little more real to my experience because a
lot of the depictions in lit are like damaged or
drug addicted or like seeking needing redemption.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
You were like, on my journal, this is me.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
And all of those things can be true, but it
was not my experience. So I'm just trying to like
bring a different representation, like for me, honestly by that
our sex work was my redemption, Like it really helped
me to understand my place in the world.
Speaker 6 (28:10):
Strangely enough, No.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I love that you've printed out some of your sex journals.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I sure have.
Speaker 5 (28:14):
Yeah, I mean, like I just wrote one from I
went on this six city book tour and as a
matter of fact, I had a Sniffy's enabled hookup in
five of those six.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Would you look at that's a great ratio? Yeah, very
that's very good.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
And one one I r L encounter which happened at
a bar, which was like a cute throwback right, so
if you want, I can read you.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Love to hear this?
Speaker 4 (28:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (28:38):
Please?
Speaker 5 (28:39):
This was super last minute. I was invited by a
close friend to participate in this sex worker festival and
it was organized by sex workers who had figured it
all out like the week before. They screened an amazing
documentary and some really strong short films in progress. I
was invited to read in the literary program set in
a somewhat grimy but charming theater today on Town. When
(29:01):
I got there, I said, this place smells like cheetos
and weed, and one of the organizers said, welcome to Tucson.
After the festival, I started chatting with this guy on
Sniffy's Hello, which is Matt based, so you know it
appeals to my travel logistics oriented mind. I was chatting
(29:23):
with this solidly built Mexican stud whose position relative to
mine was close but ever changing. Turned out he worked
in a nearby body shop and was running errands. He
was discreet with the photos he shared, which I'm usually
not about, but the ones he did share were enticing.
One photo of a thick, purplish bushy cock, a tight,
(29:44):
hairy Torso I got him to come over, and he
wouldn't let me put it in my mouth. But we
got on the bed, pulled down our pants, pulled up
our shirts, and stroked each other's cocks while looking intently
into each other's eyes, his brown and glassy like agot.
He wanted more, and I told him I'd be back soon,
But I'm not even sure that's true.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
The way we say that, yeah, no, I'll be back,
I probably yeah, I'm never where else can you go?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I also love the idea of a discreet guy being like,
putting my dick in your mouth is perhaps too intimate,
but sitting next to you and masturbating and looking at
you is not.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
It was strangely more intimate than like the standard procedures.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Totally, yeah, for sure. How many of these sex journals
do you have?
Speaker 5 (30:34):
Oh gosh, okay, so can we look for for decades?
This is These are the tranporium reports, So for decades
like that's that's probably a full decade of travel sex
Travel Sex Diaries.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
There's pictures, Yeah.
Speaker 6 (30:51):
There's pictures.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
There are screen shots, most of those.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
That really actually that whole thing tracks from like Craigslist
hook ups, Craigslist, M for M hook us to the
house and in all these different US cities and amazing.
The way it got the the way I got started
with that is I have this friend he was like
one day I ran into him and he was like, so,
how's the Tramporium?
Speaker 1 (31:15):
And I was like, what is that?
Speaker 5 (31:18):
And he was like, you know, the Tramporium. It's like
the sphere of trampiness that you go travels with you
where we go. And I was like, whoa, that's intense.
So I decided that I was going to write the
sex Diaries as reports to the Tramporium, which I this
is I kind of defined as a kind of quasi
governmental body that overseas.
Speaker 6 (31:38):
The sexual system came out this great. So they're written
as like official reports.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Oh my god, this is I love this.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You you write on page eight, this report is submitted
to the Tramporium in hopes of its acceptance into the record.
Everything recounted here is one hundred percent unembellished truth down.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I love it.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
I love.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
No fictive memories here, bitch, I remember that dick with
great detail.
Speaker 5 (32:03):
Yeah, I mean I was really holding myself accountable to
no embellishments.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, I like that. Do you feel obligated to do
that more with your sex journals than with your writing.
Speaker 6 (32:13):
In the book.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
There are definitely embellishments. There are things that didn't happen.
There are like fictional departures from a baseline of truth.
Some of the stories are like almost happened verbatim, And
I think that's the freedom of fiction. But I like having, like,
at least my processes. I'm kind of grounded in my
(32:34):
diary keeping, which I think, whether it's sex writing or
other writing, is like, at least for me, it's a
level of accountability. I used to try to write things
like when I went through college, I used to try
to write my way into the person that I thought I.
Speaker 6 (32:48):
Should be, or like that academia expected me to be.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
And like, at least when I started writing sex tires,
I was like, no, this is my voice, so like
it kind of redeemed writing for me, because up until
then I was a pretty fucking pretentious writer.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
It was the same thing with me when I wrote
my first stand up set, or tried to it's horrible.
I was like, oh, I should emulate this person. I
should be like this person that I like. And then
you get upstate on stage and you try to read
those words or remember those words and make it sound
like it's you, and it's not. It feels like a
a simulation of something else that's that's not quite ringing.
(33:27):
And so I think, you know, when you give up
the pretense, you're like, this is me and it's kind
of gross sometimes, but sometimes I'm really cute and you
just like embrace all the messier parts what comes out,
I've realized, And I think having an immediate audience there
to affirm is much easier than you know, publishing and
then going around the country and figuring out how people
feel about it. But it's great for in the moment
(33:48):
you could just be like, oh, I said this thing
that I was not prepared to say I thought would
be oversharing, too confessional, a little messy, and it goes great.
So it's finding your voice is kind of just like
letting go of every reference and expectation and.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Just be exactly yeah, just using your voice.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I'm imagining some of our audience might be curious if
you had any tips for starting your own sex journal,
how would you recommend folks go about it if they're interested.
Speaker 5 (34:13):
I mean, I would definitely say start out with the assumption,
with the with the baseline assumption. That's for you and
you alone, right, whatever that means to you. And then
also I think it's I think it's kind of like
maybe the hardest thing to describe sex in a way
that's compelling. So if I'm gonna just like say, you know,
(34:35):
you don't know where to start, I would say, like
read Straight to Hell's Straight to Hell was this series
of like zines which was run by this guy Boyd McDonald,
who I think started in the seventies and it was
later Billy Miller who took it over. He had a
very distinct voice for describing sexual encounters, and it was
like people would write in like, you know this happened
(34:56):
to me at this toilet stall, here in this in
the library, or the airport, or you know, I have this,
and he, you know, he had a strong editorial hand
and he would always like finesse the sexual descriptions in
a very particular way, Like I remember, like he always
used to say, like things like he sniffed of my balls.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
He sniffed of my musket ball, all of this.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Yeah, so deal, Before we let you go, I did
want to ask. We've talked a little bit about the
impact journaling has had on you being able to look
back and sort of track moments in history. But I'm
curious now that you had a chance to look back,
incorporate some of those journals into your work, publish some
of them online, what do you think journaling throughout these
different phases of your life, whether sporadically or consistently, has
(35:39):
kind of done for you and both your personal and
sex life.
Speaker 5 (35:43):
The way I was trying to help people understand what
it was they wanted, I think journaling helped me understand
what I want right, so, like all of us are
figuring it out. It's like a hell we are. It's
like an ongoing process. So if you start journaling, I
think you will find that it helped to figure out
what you really want.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Our last guesstomic is a sex worker who describes himself
as a verbal affectionate dom And you were a sex
worker too. Yeah, I'm curious how did you sort of
approach the dominant persona. Did you feel that it was
something separate than you, like a different voice, a different vibe,
or was it sort of woven into who you were
(36:22):
day to day outside of sex work.
Speaker 5 (36:24):
I think it was definitely being a dom verbal top
from either Brooklyn or Long Island in Italian. My worker
name was Dominic, so it was like in the name,
Oh there you go, that's built in the it's kind
of built in and even now, like I fulfill that
role for a lot of adorable young man on the
apps and on the platforms, and I'm not complaining.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Yeah, no, great person, not at all.
Speaker 5 (36:50):
And one of my favorite catchphrases which I find I
say a lot is get in there.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Yeah, and I also where to wear. Yeah, I'm very curious.
Get in there, Get in there, get in there. Yeah,
we're not just penetrating. I'm sniff this is like, Yeah, you.
Speaker 5 (37:09):
Know, there's a lot of Dad's son role play. Are
you going to service Dad the way he likes it?
Get that mouth to work, boy?
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Okay, Yeah, these are classics.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
All right, Dale, thank you so much for coming in
and sharing your journals with us. It's been absolutely a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
It's a blessed. Where can people find you?
Speaker 5 (37:30):
I am, my name is my name Dale Corvino. It's
I'm only one apparently like and you can find me
on Instagram, you can find me on Facebook, you can
find I have a website of my name, Dale Corvino
dot com. And the memoirs coming out from CNR Press
in September kept Boy in the Afterlife.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Amazing, so keep your eyes peeled for that. We we
did so much this episode. We did a lot. I'm
really a jam packed episode. I'm proud of. We're really
feeding the girls today. We are feeding the girls.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
I had never heard the verbal porn audio track no,
but I'm definitely gonna check it out.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
I'm so interested.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Thank you to induce Prietism for opening the gate into
a new genre of porn I did not know about.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
And then we had Tomic, oh yeah, who was so great,
so great, And then we ended with Dale, who was fantastic,
which was really really inspiring. It it was like, oh,
maybe I should be writing more, especially since I'm writing
my own book.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
I'm going to start putting pin to paper.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is a production from Outspoken podcast network
from iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
It's directed by Adam Barron, produced by Stevie Williams and
Camerons Semino, and executive producers by Eli Martin.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Cruising Confessions is presented by Sniffy's, the ultimate map based
cruising platform.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Pregay by and curious people ready to cruise. Check out
the map at Snippy's dot com and follow Sniffy's on
socials at Snippy's App. Put Joe Put, Put Joe put,
Put Joe put
Hey, viewers.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about queer sex.
Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. If
hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more offends
your sensibilities, you might want to skip this. Viewer discretion
is advised. It's definitely not for kids. Chris, Yes, would
(00:22):
you say you are a very verbal person when you're
in bed with someone.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I'm actually not.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I do a lot of talking outside of the bedroom,
and that's where I feel like I.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Can shut up. Though I do like nonverbal things of
like affirmation.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
But I'm not like one of these people that like
has like a list of things that I say when
I'm engaged in the acts.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
What about you, I would say, I am.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I like receiving encouragement and I like vocalizing when I
enjoy things. Yeah, but I would say that I'm not
like verbal, Like I think there's a lot there's like
porn verbal and there's like casual verbal. Yeah, And I
think some people think they've got to be like.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Porn verbal, yes, yeah, And I'm not into that yeah,
because it feels performative.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I mean, for me, I'm like, oh, am I in
my college impropit group again, like do I need to yes?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
And what's our setting?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
What's your intention? What's my intention for me? I'm like
trying to do dramaturgy in my head that takes.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Me out of the space, and then I'm not into
it because then I'm like, we're living that drama.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I mean, I'm pretty against I'm a loud mouth in
all aspects of my life for you, and sex is
truly no different good for you, which does bring us
to the topic of today's episode. In sexual situations and spaces,
it can often seem like silence and nonverbal communication are
the most reliable way to let your partner know what
you want. After all, if you speak up, you do
risk ruining the mood or breaking the fantasy butt.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
In today's episode, we're.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Going to teach you how to use the voice to
have better and hotter hookups.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Welcome to Stiffy's Cruising Confessions.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I Am Gabe goin, I'm Chris Patterson rosso Each week
weeks four, the sublime world of queer sex, cruising and
relationship will be talking to queer folks of all kinds,
ask them questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
A lot of us are discovering ourselves in cruising spaces.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
This happened to me at this toilet stall in the
library or the airport.
Speaker 6 (02:14):
I feel like everybody's gonna fuck a little harder here.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
So I've been like the neighborhood flat and I took
pride in that. I was so afraid but yet so intrigued.
Speaker 7 (02:23):
And the more I gave him, the more he could take.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
If you're having sex on Sniffy's, you already have a
moral deficit, Gabe.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah, have you ever heard about verbal porn?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Like like, yah, fuck me harder like that?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Like, what's no, this is a little bit different. It's
like a subgenre. Yeah, okay, it's a little bit different.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
So what it is.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
It's audio tracks that are designed to take you to
an erotic headspace, right, so like people do these recordings.
It's almost like ASMR, but for like sex.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I was gonna say, it sounds like a like a
horny podcast. Yeah, but if so this one, Yeah, yeah, welcome.
Maybe you're listening to verbal porn right now.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
So here's the thing. We have some examples. Do you
want to hear a something?
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Absolutely, Are you kidding? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
These are by induced Priapism who puts these tracks on Patreon.
So let's hear the first track. This is called happiness.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Spelled just sort of. Viewers called penis h A P
P E N. I s, Oh what you're doing there?
You a little masturbator? Are you masturbating?
Speaker 7 (03:30):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (03:30):
I couldn't sell because you see, happiness supposed to be fun. Wait,
and you don almost like you're having fun.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Oh my god, I'm in my head about it.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
If you're having fun, you'd smile.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Oh my god, I'm screaming it right now.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Just give me a little grin, the like.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Growishness, but then like the undertone of the happiness, my smile,
happiness smile.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Bigger people put up like YouTube videos of them doing
a hell on their own and you get like.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Figure there you go, Oh my god, I just want
you to have a big dopey grin while you watch
your porn while you touch yourself.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Kind it is kind Okay, that's enough of that.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I truly feel like I walked into the art gallery
of my college's art departments and the gay guy that
I've had a crush on for three years is like, Hey,
I'm doing my senior thesis projects and yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
This is it.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
It's it's queer soundscapes to get you hard. I am
kind of obsessed. Also, this can't be easy to edit. No,
Like I know, I've seen a lot of videos on
porn streaming sites where people kind of egg you on,
Like there's like the Popper training videos to like verbal daters.
But this is really interesting because I don't think i've
(04:51):
ever heard like just audio trucks.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
This is like a mantra.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I would start my morning with smile, smile when you masturbate.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
And I would play that as like a morning mantra.
I will not play it when I'm in my sexy mood.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
No, yeah, you know I played before to like get
in the mindset like hours later.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
But it's like you gotta start your day, start your
day with this.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Yeah, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm going to do that
later exactly exactly see where smiling.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
So this was effective? Yeah it was. And you can't
tell but I am masturbating right now. Oh my god.
Yeah it's wild. Okay, you want to hear another one?
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Oh wow, yes, absolutely, yeah, this one is let porn
entertain you.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Well, it has okay.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
Hey they're masturbate or I heard you're having trouble falling
in love with porn and I'm here to help you out.
It is completely normal for porn addicts to lose interest
in pornography from time to time. Normally it's your body
signaling you to do other.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Things, like other than the monks chanting in the background.
We both know they're changing chanting phography as.
Speaker 8 (05:59):
You and so your only other option, of course, is
to find a new appreciation for porn, one that truly
compliments your porn addictive lifestyle.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
First and foremost.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I need to sit back like a three B.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah gets that I would have had a crush on
in high school. Yeah, and then comes out years later,
and when we hook up in our hotel events.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
From wanting to be more addicted to porn, you're just
taking your addiction way too seriously.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Oh my goodness, I feel like I'm getting verbally done.
Yeah that was.
Speaker 9 (06:39):
Well, that wasn't an experience as a sober person talk
about your.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Triggered by this.
Speaker 9 (06:46):
I was like, uh, should we be leaning into the
addictions of events? You gotta babes. Yeah, you can't be
calling in late because we're still jerking in.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, this has got to be like a very specific
maybe like fetish, right, having somebody like like kind of
enable you dom you into being like, oh, I'm like
wow over porn.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
That's that's my impression. Yeah, that's what good is. Right,
let's go to the next track. I need to hear
this next one. So the next track is called how
I approach verbal Okay.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
I just thought like I would teach you just how
to verbal bate just a little bit better. If you
can already hold a conversation while you masturbate, then you
should be fine and honestly.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Love doing Probably then just started.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
May not live in a place where you can, you know,
be verbal when you masturbate. You may live with roommates
or family, and that's completely fine. Maybe someday you'll afford
your own apartment some day. This is so aspirational work
I love. And so first of all, you're gonna need
to masturbate. You're gonna need to touch yourself. Okay, that's
that feels very pleasurable. Yeah, do this by stroking your penis,
(08:02):
looping it up and stroking it really fast, or if
you finger your hole and digging around or you could
play with your nipples, or you can use the massage
or whatever you want to do. Just fucking masturbate, you know.
And step simple too, of course, would be you gotta
open your mouth. Oh you know, just open your mouth,
(08:22):
just let it slack, you know, just keep it open
so open that I could go in there and now
and I was like to have their mouth open with
drool coming out on the perch to say some stupid
ship around the verge, to say something that makes them
really horny. So keeping a nice open jaw, nice open
(08:43):
mouth is really fucking important for verbal then that's a
good first step to learning how to talk while you
masturbate is actually moaning a lot. It really is no
different than you know, somebody learning how to speak for
the first time. It really is just like penis speech therapy.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Just moan a lot, you know where and does medicaid
coverund come out and just moan.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
That's that's a great first steps. Listen to the sound
of your voice. Feel how good it feels to talk
while you masturbate, To moan while you masturbate, really just
enjoy how your voice sounds and how your voice feels.
That's that's what most verbobaters get out of it, you know,
and I'd say the next natural step is moan while
(09:29):
your tongue's hanging out. You know, your tongue gets a
lot of use throughout the day. It gets really worn
out to particulate words and use it in different speech patterns.
And I can't very about dis muscles, so you know,
relaxing it just sticking your tongue out while you really
really pleasurable. You have to just stick it out and
(09:50):
go like, you know, you can just really try that out,
to just let it flop out of your mouth.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Oh what a journey. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (10:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
What I found interesting is that as he's breaking the
steps down, I'm like, oh, I could do this.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah? Is this the future of porn?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
I love the idea of like porn on the go,
like yes, Like I could see someone listening to this
on the l train, Yes, and just not knowing and
having like a little secret to themselves.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I don't know if we tried to make one of these,
what do you think it would sound like?
Speaker 9 (10:25):
You do it?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Why not? Do you want to take like the main
role and I'll do the background sound. I'm much better
at the background. You're better. I love switch off. I
like the harmony. Let's find the harmony. Okay, you know
what I mean. You picked the note and I'll find
the harmony.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Okay, great, Okay, so let's give it. Let's give it
a show. We kind of have to get close to
the mics for this one. Ah, you woke up this
morning this morning and realized you needed to run errands,
which is an unpleasant thing to do.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
But then.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
You walk into your bathroom thinking that you don't have
any toothpaste, only to find your boyfriend already woke up
and bought some.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Doesn't that cut you hard? It's the poetry. Now.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Well, thank you to Induce Priapism for this wonderful prompt
and auditory experience. Please check out his Patreon and Twitter
using the handle induced Priapism.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
When we come back Toomic Dash shops by to talk
about what it means to be a verbal affectionate dom
see you after the break.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
All right, y'all, welcome back. I am thrilled to welcome
our first guest.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Thoma Dash is a black, gay, left handed, near sighted,
outspoken entrepreneur, writer, activists, and sex worker. As the CEO
of fag Rag Magazine, he publishes Evocative Fine Art LGBTQI
plus magazines, which have editions in New York City, Fire Island,
and Provincetown. Toomic also serves as the executive director of
the Black and Brown Equity Coalition, a nonprofit advocating for
(12:18):
qtpo C equity on Fire Island.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
And he also used to cut my hair. Yes, welcome topic.
That's like a pint tumple threat.
Speaker 7 (12:27):
Right there is wild business card just says doing the most.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
You know what I do the most?
Speaker 9 (12:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (12:34):
Too much? In New York fashion, right truly.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Tomic, I saw that you describe yourself as a verbal
affectionate dom What does that mean to you exactly? And
how do you think that sort of describes not just
your voice, but like your sort of demeanor and energy
with other folks? I, like I said, I default to
being domb but when I do that, I also like to.
Speaker 7 (12:57):
Shower my partner with affection like in between, right, So
I let them know the things that I'm going to
be getting into, like the things I might want to
say or the things that I might want to do.
I let them know that there is like a punishment
aspect and there's a reward aspect.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Right, Okay, yeah, we're looking hole for immunity.
Speaker 7 (13:24):
So it's like, you know, I like telling guys what
to do. I like guys who can follow direction, and
so if they can't follow direction, there's going to be
some kind of like punishments involved. So when I approach that,
I like to invite the guy over and typically start
with punishments.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Right, Okay, yeah, a my co hosts perking up.
Speaker 7 (13:52):
And the reason I like to do that is because,
like one, I'll go through the things that, like, you know,
punishment might intel in my intel slaps in the face,
it might Intel spanking, it might Intel flogging, it might intel.
You know, all these different kinds of things. And if
you say that you're into these things, and we can
start with the punishments, I like to start and let
you let me know if that's too much. So I
(14:12):
start light with all of them. Right. So I'll set
somebody down in front of me. Usually like guy gets
into like a sub position, like on their knees in
front of me, and I let them know. Okay, so
we're gonna start with punishments. I'm gonna start light with everything,
and you let me know if I can go harder. Right,
And that's before we even start fucking. Sometimes my clothes
are still on, and so I'll start and I'll be like, Okay,
(14:35):
that's good. Can I do harder? Yes, I keep going harder.
And then when I get to like a threshold and
I know that when we actually do start fucking, this
is where I this is how hard I can go.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Oh wow, what a great in the heat of the moment,
we're not like figuring that out.
Speaker 7 (14:47):
Yeah, because if you let me, I will slap the
shit out of you.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, okay, let me introduce you to my mom. You
have a very similar ethos in life.
Speaker 7 (15:00):
Yeah, yeah, and I and there have been times, like
in the heat of the moment where I have like
gone and slapped the ship as somebody. And I remember
with one guy who was like a friend for a
long time and like we ended up hooking up. This
was after I cut his hair, not you, this is
my sister. We were fucking and I just like, damn
(15:25):
well them and he like turned around like like a
mad woman in a telenovela, just like that shock right,
and he was like not my face and I was like,
I am so sorry, like it just kind of you know,
And that was like something in the moment where I
was like, Okay, I need to check myself on that,
(15:46):
you know. So yeah, having being able to start that
way is super helpful. It's also hot.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
It is It's like a very sexy way to sort
of communicate what limits are, what is enjoyed and what
is not, and I think there are ways to do that.
Everybody's like, oh, do we really have to ask for
people to consent? And I was like, yeah, you do,
and it doesn't have to be like may I do this,
may I do that. It's like you can kind of
communicate very clearly about what's going to happen, make sure
(16:14):
folks are okay with it, gauge where limits are, and
then start playing. Like that sounds like a really lovely
and very hot way to engage in four play especially.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
I was just going to say, it's like, it's really
hot for play.
Speaker 7 (16:26):
Also, some guys don't think that they're into something, but
if you say you're going to start really lightly like,
they try it and they're like, oh wait.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
A little light bulb goes off.
Speaker 7 (16:35):
Yeah wait a minute, Yeah, I feel like I'm going
to start with playful slaps. Then guys are like, okay, yeah,
I can try that and then before you know it,
they're like, oh yeah, keep going, keep going. I'm like, okay, cool,
we just unlocked a new level.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yes, I'm really bad at the sex talk, but I
would like to get better at that.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
How do you suggest I start that?
Speaker 7 (17:00):
There's two ways you could do that.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I think.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
One way.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I feel like you just five more ways. While you
were thinking about.
Speaker 7 (17:14):
Yeah, I was gonna say one way you could be
like in the mirror, yeah, before somebody broke in a
you know, before somebody comes over, hype yourself up and
just like practice it. I think another good way to
do it is to hook up with somebody who is verbal.
(17:37):
You know. One thing I really love to do is
make guys repeat stuff after me, especially guys who like
aren't verbal. Yeah, and if they're like nervous about it,
maybe I'll make them do it with their mouthful so
the full words don't have to come out.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
You're like, I'm helping, Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (17:55):
I really love making guys talk with their mouth Okay, okay, yeah,
I love what right? And sometimes like guys are really
kind of like timid about it, you know, like say
something and be like, you know, even if it's easy
like say thank you, you know, and they'll just kind
of like look at me, and I'll be like say
thank you, you know, until they do it, and then
it's just like eventually they're like, Okay, this is what
(18:17):
we're doing, and then they get into it. So I
think that's another way to like, you know, get like
hook up with someone who is verbal yah and can
like bring that out of you.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
I'm curious, do you have sort of a persona that
you take on when you are doming that is different
than Tomic in real life that helps you kind of
be less self conscious?
Speaker 7 (18:34):
Yeah, I mean Tomic in real life is total like pussy,
like serving pussy. Clarify that. Yeah, my persona is my
daytime persona is very different than my in the bedroom persona.
Like there is a code switch that happens for sure,
(18:55):
And I don't know how that happened, you know, I
don't I was into it for I got into sex work.
It may have come from just like watching porn and
also like seeing the way like black tops are portrayed
in porn and maybe me have feeling like there is
an expectation for like the way I should show up
(19:15):
and kind of like leaning into that and then I
just maybe kind of like stuck with it and like
ended up enjoying it. I don't I don't know how
to you know, tell someone to how to switch into
that into that mode, you know, because if you don't
own it, it's very obvious.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 7 (19:34):
I saw this one interview with Jill Scott on The
Breakfast Club and she was talking about how she's like
such like a dominating woman, right, and she's like, you
can't just be like a man who comes in and
like tries to just like tries to tell me what
She's like, if you can tell me what to do,
you can tell me what to do, but if you
cannot tell me what to do, you cannot tell me
(19:56):
what to do.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
And it's but yeah, such a It's like I'm like,
you know that makes sense, Yeah, truck.
Speaker 7 (20:04):
Yeah, Like it's not hot if like someone's coming in
and like trying to like play this role and being
like trying to be a dom it's like girl, yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Right, And that's maybe the response I get. Okay, girl,
I didn't know it was you taking off the blind hole.
Speaker 7 (20:23):
Yeah, that's not saying don't try it, you know. I
feel like there's always hopefully someone where you can like
go into a space where you're comfortable with exploring things.
Maybe it's not something that you should be trying with
like a one off, you know, but if there's someone
who like you, are regular with or comfortable with and
they want to like try something new, then try that.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
If you were going to tell me to do something,
how would you tell me to do something?
Speaker 7 (20:49):
What if I tell gable to do?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Okay, Oh, this will be interesting, this will be very interesting.
All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna Jill Scott.
Speaker 7 (20:56):
You.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I was like, if you can't tell me what to do,
you can't tell me what to do.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
But yeah, get on your fucking knees. Okay, yeah, okay,
yeah would you? Yeah you just get you get a
you add a fucking and you say it with vigor.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Yeah, it's like it ran, I have to own it. Yeah. Yeah,
I can never fully commit, you know, but I meant to.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
Okay for real.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Oh, these aren't my genes. I'm sorry, these aren't my genes.
She's like to give them back time. I'm curious.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I feel like enthusiastic consent is a phrase Wese often
these days, it's relatively new to describe something that people
have been doing for a long time. How besides the
sort of preamble for play that you told us about,
do you think of incorporating enthusiastic consent both into your
work and your personal life.
Speaker 7 (21:47):
I always like to do check ins, you know, so
like in the middle of things, Like even if we
did kind of like agree to something in the beginning.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
It's just like, how are we doing?
Speaker 7 (21:55):
Like throwing that in there, it's like doesn't break character,
it doesn't make anything weird. But just like doing that
little check in, it's like very helpful, and it keeps
everybody like feeling like, Okay, this is good. We can
keep going, you know. Yeah, and yeah, I think that's
what I think. It's just a good check in is
always always very helpful.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I love that. That's a really good piece of advice.
Speaker 7 (22:16):
I also like to check in during breaks, because that's
when like the demeanor comes down.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
You know.
Speaker 7 (22:21):
It's like if we're like laying there and like taking
a little break and like making out or something, it's
just like, how are we doing? You know, is there
anything you don't like? I also like to tell guys like,
don't feel like you have to endure anything, Like the
point of this is for you to be experiencing pleasure too. Like,
I know it feels like this is very me centric,
(22:42):
but I want to make sure that you are having
a good time because that is also what like gets
me off, and we should both be having a good
time here, right, Yeah, So I think that's another great
reason for breaks, and that's another great time to make
sure that everybody is consenting and having a good time.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
And I think at the end of the day that
still is a form of enthusiastic consent, right, regardless of
the however enthusiastic the delivery sounds. You're taking the time
to like check in during the act, take breaks, and
like drop the persona.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I mean, this is something I love doing. Like just
looking down at somebody where you're sucking them, being like
you good? Is this cool?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And hearing the very excited yes is to me kind
of a turn on, but it's also a great moment.
So there are just so many places and ways that
you can check in during sex, especially with like subdom
play and like kind of like more physical play. I
think those things are really important. And the fact that
you have like a practice and a system. I think
says a lot about how much care you put into it,
(23:40):
for sure.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah. Yeah, part of that can verbo veer towards being corny.
Speaker 7 (23:48):
If you don't own it. Yeah. A couple of weeks ago,
I went to a sex party and there's this one
guy who was just kind of like yeah, fuck yeah
fuck him, you know, and I'm just like.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Can you not please you know, that's the best way
to clear a room.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, honestly, they should bring in that guy at three
point fifty nine every bar.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Fuck true.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
I was like, what are you dumb? Yeah, but I
will say for I mean, I remember when I was
editing porn.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I'd be going through the footage sometimes and I think
when people run out of things to say but want
to feel like they're like I'm putting my all into it,
what you.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Get is just fuck fuck yeah fuck fuck yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
It's like just a series of funcks.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
And I was like, we gotta we need to whip
out a physaurus, baby, like we need un vocabulary. I
need some Like it doesn't even feel like they're responding
to what's happening. It just feels like they're going into
sort of an automated It's like straightcorn like that.
Speaker 7 (24:50):
Is like such a straightcorn thing to do. Like I
feel like we don't do that as much in like
gay porn, Like it's more authentic, it's more real and
like when you can tell when it's not totally.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
Well, Atomic, thank you so much for stopping by. It
is really good to see your face.
Speaker 7 (25:05):
Good to see you. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Of course, where can people find you?
Speaker 7 (25:09):
I am at toomic T O M I K to
the number two point oh p O I N T
zero on everything.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
On everything right across the world. Awesome. Well, thanks so
much for coming in. We love that consistency.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
And when we come back, we are going to be
talking with a very notable and very sexy Daddy is
going to teach us about a new sex practice that
will help you better communicate with yourself.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Oh god, what is that like?
Speaker 9 (25:41):
On exposure?
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Welcome back our final guest.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Deale Corpino found his confessional voice at Queer Underground Literary Salons,
where he first started reading his salacious writing about his
youth spent as an object of lawe. His debut novel,
Bonds and Boundaries was just published, and it's a collection
of short stories which explore conflicts between chosen and biological families,
sex work interactions, and the afterlives queer people must often
(26:11):
build over displacement and loss. For decades, Dale has kept
meticulous records of his own sexual history in sex journals,
some of which inspired the stories in Bonds and Boundaries. Welcome,
Dale Corvino.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
How are you doing.
Speaker 6 (26:26):
I'm doing great. Thanks for having me over.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Talk to us a little bit about the book.
Speaker 6 (26:30):
I'm so excited about this book. It came out in October.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
It's a collection of short stories which I've been working
on over a decade, and there's a level of auto
fiction in all of them, Like they're pulled from my
real experiences. I'm processing my childhood trauma as a queer
gen xer. I'm processing my sex work interactions, the loss
that you experienced inevitably when you get to be somebody
my age, like processing the grief of those losses. So like,
(26:54):
that's what I think of as afterlives. The middle section
is actually all sex work interactions and characters and scenarios,
and that's those are all pulled directly from my sex
work diaries because I was like a by the hour
hustler in the early two thousands, and.
Speaker 6 (27:11):
I made a fabulous living.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
So I started journaling diary keeping just to keep sane
through it all and also like to keep an account
of what I was picking up, like learning.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
I love this idea of taking Jordan winters and writing
them to sort of stories. I kind of wish that
I had done that. I'm currently writing my book and
I kind of I have forgotten so much, but I
love this.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
I think it's just really really powerful work.
Speaker 5 (27:33):
I wanted a depiction of a sex worker that was
like a little more real to my experience because a
lot of the depictions in lit are like damaged or
drug addicted or like seeking needing redemption.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
You were like, on my journal, this is me.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
And all of those things can be true, but it
was not my experience. So I'm just trying to like
bring a different representation, like for me, honestly by that
our sex work was my redemption, Like it really helped
me to understand my place in the world.
Speaker 6 (28:10):
Strangely enough, No.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I love that you've printed out some of your sex journals.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I sure have.
Speaker 5 (28:14):
Yeah, I mean, like I just wrote one from I
went on this six city book tour and as a
matter of fact, I had a Sniffy's enabled hookup in
five of those six.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Would you look at that's a great ratio? Yeah, very
that's very good.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
And one one I r L encounter which happened at
a bar, which was like a cute throwback right, so
if you want, I can read you.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Love to hear this?
Speaker 4 (28:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (28:38):
Please?
Speaker 5 (28:39):
This was super last minute. I was invited by a
close friend to participate in this sex worker festival and
it was organized by sex workers who had figured it
all out like the week before. They screened an amazing
documentary and some really strong short films in progress. I
was invited to read in the literary program set in
a somewhat grimy but charming theater today on Town. When
(29:01):
I got there, I said, this place smells like cheetos
and weed, and one of the organizers said, welcome to Tucson.
After the festival, I started chatting with this guy on
Sniffy's Hello, which is Matt based, so you know it
appeals to my travel logistics oriented mind. I was chatting
(29:23):
with this solidly built Mexican stud whose position relative to
mine was close but ever changing. Turned out he worked
in a nearby body shop and was running errands. He
was discreet with the photos he shared, which I'm usually
not about, but the ones he did share were enticing.
One photo of a thick, purplish bushy cock, a tight,
(29:44):
hairy Torso I got him to come over, and he
wouldn't let me put it in my mouth. But we
got on the bed, pulled down our pants, pulled up
our shirts, and stroked each other's cocks while looking intently
into each other's eyes, his brown and glassy like agot.
He wanted more, and I told him I'd be back soon,
But I'm not even sure that's true.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
The way we say that, yeah, no, I'll be back,
I probably yeah, I'm never where else can you go?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I also love the idea of a discreet guy being like,
putting my dick in your mouth is perhaps too intimate,
but sitting next to you and masturbating and looking at
you is not.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
It was strangely more intimate than like the standard procedures.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Totally, yeah, for sure. How many of these sex journals
do you have?
Speaker 5 (30:34):
Oh gosh, okay, so can we look for for decades?
This is These are the tranporium reports, So for decades
like that's that's probably a full decade of travel sex
Travel Sex Diaries.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
There's pictures, Yeah.
Speaker 6 (30:51):
There's pictures.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
There are screen shots, most of those.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
That really actually that whole thing tracks from like Craigslist
hook ups, Craigslist, M for M hook us to the
house and in all these different US cities and amazing.
The way it got the the way I got started
with that is I have this friend he was like
one day I ran into him and he was like, so,
how's the Tramporium?
Speaker 1 (31:15):
And I was like, what is that?
Speaker 5 (31:18):
And he was like, you know, the Tramporium. It's like
the sphere of trampiness that you go travels with you
where we go. And I was like, whoa, that's intense.
So I decided that I was going to write the
sex Diaries as reports to the Tramporium, which I this
is I kind of defined as a kind of quasi
governmental body that overseas.
Speaker 6 (31:38):
The sexual system came out this great. So they're written
as like official reports.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Oh my god, this is I love this.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You you write on page eight, this report is submitted
to the Tramporium in hopes of its acceptance into the record.
Everything recounted here is one hundred percent unembellished truth down.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I love it.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
I love.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
No fictive memories here, bitch, I remember that dick with
great detail.
Speaker 5 (32:03):
Yeah, I mean I was really holding myself accountable to
no embellishments.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, I like that. Do you feel obligated to do
that more with your sex journals than with your writing.
Speaker 6 (32:13):
In the book.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
There are definitely embellishments. There are things that didn't happen.
There are like fictional departures from a baseline of truth.
Some of the stories are like almost happened verbatim, And
I think that's the freedom of fiction. But I like having, like,
at least my processes. I'm kind of grounded in my
(32:34):
diary keeping, which I think, whether it's sex writing or
other writing, is like, at least for me, it's a
level of accountability. I used to try to write things
like when I went through college, I used to try
to write my way into the person that I thought I.
Speaker 6 (32:48):
Should be, or like that academia expected me to be.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
And like, at least when I started writing sex tires,
I was like, no, this is my voice, so like
it kind of redeemed writing for me, because up until
then I was a pretty fucking pretentious writer.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
It was the same thing with me when I wrote
my first stand up set, or tried to it's horrible.
I was like, oh, I should emulate this person. I
should be like this person that I like. And then
you get upstate on stage and you try to read
those words or remember those words and make it sound
like it's you, and it's not. It feels like a
a simulation of something else that's that's not quite ringing.
(33:27):
And so I think, you know, when you give up
the pretense, you're like, this is me and it's kind
of gross sometimes, but sometimes I'm really cute and you
just like embrace all the messier parts what comes out,
I've realized, And I think having an immediate audience there
to affirm is much easier than you know, publishing and
then going around the country and figuring out how people
feel about it. But it's great for in the moment
(33:48):
you could just be like, oh, I said this thing
that I was not prepared to say I thought would
be oversharing, too confessional, a little messy, and it goes great.
So it's finding your voice is kind of just like
letting go of every reference and expectation and.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Just be exactly yeah, just using your voice.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I'm imagining some of our audience might be curious if
you had any tips for starting your own sex journal,
how would you recommend folks go about it if they're interested.
Speaker 5 (34:13):
I mean, I would definitely say start out with the assumption,
with the with the baseline assumption. That's for you and
you alone, right, whatever that means to you. And then
also I think it's I think it's kind of like
maybe the hardest thing to describe sex in a way
that's compelling. So if I'm gonna just like say, you know,
(34:35):
you don't know where to start, I would say, like
read Straight to Hell's Straight to Hell was this series
of like zines which was run by this guy Boyd McDonald,
who I think started in the seventies and it was
later Billy Miller who took it over. He had a
very distinct voice for describing sexual encounters, and it was
like people would write in like, you know this happened
(34:56):
to me at this toilet stall, here in this in
the library, or the airport, or you know, I have this,
and he, you know, he had a strong editorial hand
and he would always like finesse the sexual descriptions in
a very particular way, Like I remember, like he always
used to say, like things like he sniffed of my balls.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
He sniffed of my musket ball, all of this.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Yeah, so deal, Before we let you go, I did
want to ask. We've talked a little bit about the
impact journaling has had on you being able to look
back and sort of track moments in history. But I'm
curious now that you had a chance to look back,
incorporate some of those journals into your work, publish some
of them online, what do you think journaling throughout these
different phases of your life, whether sporadically or consistently, has
(35:39):
kind of done for you and both your personal and
sex life.
Speaker 5 (35:43):
The way I was trying to help people understand what
it was they wanted, I think journaling helped me understand
what I want right, so, like all of us are
figuring it out. It's like a hell we are. It's
like an ongoing process. So if you start journaling, I
think you will find that it helped to figure out
what you really want.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Our last guesstomic is a sex worker who describes himself
as a verbal affectionate dom And you were a sex
worker too. Yeah, I'm curious how did you sort of
approach the dominant persona. Did you feel that it was
something separate than you, like a different voice, a different vibe,
or was it sort of woven into who you were
(36:22):
day to day outside of sex work.
Speaker 5 (36:24):
I think it was definitely being a dom verbal top
from either Brooklyn or Long Island in Italian. My worker
name was Dominic, so it was like in the name,
Oh there you go, that's built in the it's kind
of built in and even now, like I fulfill that
role for a lot of adorable young man on the
apps and on the platforms, and I'm not complaining.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Yeah, no, great person, not at all.
Speaker 5 (36:50):
And one of my favorite catchphrases which I find I
say a lot is get in there.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Yeah, and I also where to wear. Yeah, I'm very curious.
Get in there, Get in there, get in there. Yeah,
we're not just penetrating. I'm sniff this is like, Yeah, you.
Speaker 5 (37:09):
Know, there's a lot of Dad's son role play. Are
you going to service Dad the way he likes it?
Get that mouth to work, boy?
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Okay, Yeah, these are classics.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
All right, Dale, thank you so much for coming in
and sharing your journals with us. It's been absolutely a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
It's a blessed. Where can people find you?
Speaker 5 (37:30):
I am, my name is my name Dale Corvino. It's
I'm only one apparently like and you can find me
on Instagram, you can find me on Facebook, you can
find I have a website of my name, Dale Corvino
dot com. And the memoirs coming out from CNR Press
in September kept Boy in the Afterlife.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Amazing, so keep your eyes peeled for that. We we
did so much this episode. We did a lot. I'm
really a jam packed episode. I'm proud of. We're really
feeding the girls today. We are feeding the girls.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
I had never heard the verbal porn audio track no,
but I'm definitely gonna check it out.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
I'm so interested.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Thank you to induce Prietism for opening the gate into
a new genre of porn I did not know about.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
And then we had Tomic, oh yeah, who was so great,
so great, And then we ended with Dale, who was fantastic,
which was really really inspiring. It it was like, oh,
maybe I should be writing more, especially since I'm writing
my own book.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
I'm going to start putting pin to paper.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is a production from Outspoken podcast network
from iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
It's directed by Adam Barron, produced by Stevie Williams and
Camerons Semino, and executive producers by Eli Martin.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Cruising Confessions is presented by Sniffy's, the ultimate map based
cruising platform.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Pregay by and curious people ready to cruise. Check out
the map at Snippy's dot com and follow Sniffy's on
socials at Snippy's App. Put Joe Put, Put Joe put,
Put Joe put
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