Finding Solace in Solitude

Today, we embrace the benefits of being alone. Bob tells the story of Jessie, a single mom who found that meditation helps her connect to herself and appreciate true solitude despite the quarantine. Jessie’s story reveals what we can all do to gain the most from simply being with ourselves. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Stay Calm is a production of I Heart Radio. Welcome
to Stay Calm, your daily dose of calmness. I'm Bob Roth,
and I've been teaching people to meditate for fifty years,
helping them to stay calm under pressure, reboot and re
energize their lives, and basically be a happier, healthier version

(00:22):
of themselves. And now I want to help you do
the same. Ready, sit comfortably, take a few deep breaths,
and let's begin today's journey. Today we're going to dive
into the blessings of solitude, the benefits of living moments
of solitude. Wait, you're thinking, I've been stuck at home

(00:44):
for weeks by myself, feeling lost and afraid, and you're
gonna tell me about the wonders of being alone. I'd
give anything to hang out with some friends. Or I'm
gonna quarantine with three teenagers and we're on each other's
nerves from the minute the sun comes up. I love
even five minutes of solitude, but that's not happening. Yes,
I do understand. I've been living in the middle of

(01:07):
New York City and I haven't really gone out for
weeks either, But that doesn't mean we can't take a
few minutes and consider the beauty and the possibility of
enjoying solitude in our own life, even amidst the chaos
and confusion of the pandemic. First, let's be clear about
the difference between being alone and feeling lonely and being
alone and enjoying solitude. The American Heritage Dictionary defines loneliness

(01:32):
as quote sadness because one has no friends or company,
feelings of depression. Solitude, on the other hand, is defined
as the state or situation of just being alone, as
in quote she savored her freedom and solitude. The state
where you can be alone and comfortable in your own
skin is certainly attainable, but it doesn't come just because

(01:55):
you summon it and you want it now. It comes
from wanting to make the comfort of solitude a permanent
part of your life, and by developing it and culturing
it over time. There are many little things you can
do for that, but really the best thing you can
do is he the advice of the wise throughout the ages,
and that is to meditate. Like an notion, that mind

(02:18):
is active, noisy, turbulent on the surface, but silent and
unbounded at its depth. Meditation gives us access to that
inner field of silence and freedom. I want to tell
you a story about a single mom, Jesse, who I
taught to meditate just before the pandemic hit. She took
to the meditation right away. We connected by phone a

(02:41):
few weeks ago. How are you doing? I asked. Jesse
paused for a moment, and then told me about a
friend who asked her the same question. The friend was
concerned Jesse is normally a very dynamic person, and now
she was essentially locked away with her eight year old
daughter and a cat. How are you doing, the friend asked,
sounding worried. Jesse thought for a moment and said, I'm

(03:02):
doing well. I'm actually happy. The woman seemed surprised and
asked why, looking for a specific reason that might account
for Jesse's inexplicable good feelings, like did she get a
job promotion or did her daughter do well on an exam.
Jesse thought again, shrugged her shoulders, and said, I don't
know why I feel good. I just do. It's probably

(03:24):
the best I felt in a long time. When Jesse
recounted the story to me, she laughed, It's got to
be the meditation, nothing else. Good has happened in my
life since the shutdown. Jesse's experience of feeling good is
not merely a passing mood. During her meditation, there's a
marked decrease in the stress hormone cortisol, and increases in

(03:45):
the happiness neurotransmitter serotonin and the well being hormone prolactin.
But really, ultimately, Jesse felt good because she experienced a
very real inner peace, silence, happiness, and freedom during her meditation.
It's such an extraordinary experience because it's both unique and familiar,

(04:07):
and fortunately it's accessible to everyone, rich or poor, educated
or not, skeptic or believer. My takeaway and health tip
is this, learn to meditate, learn to transcend as soon
as you can. Then you can begin to enjoy the
bliss of solitude any day every day. In fact, you

(04:27):
can enjoy it sitting up in your bed, meditating in
your pajamas, before you get ready to start work or
before your kids wake up. To conclude, I want to
share with you the words of two poets who describe
the blessings of solitude so well. The first is from
Emily Dickinson. In her poem here, Emily describes the ordinary

(04:52):
solitude she feels when she's alone in the world, and
compares it to the more profound solitude she feels when
her soul regains its truth self. There is a solitude
of space, a solitude of sea, a solitude of death,
But these society shall be compared with that profounder site,
that polar privacy, a soul admitted to itself, finite infinity.

(05:21):
And second the poem Daffodils by William Wordsworth, where he
describes the bliss of solitude for oft, when on my
couch I lie in vacant or in pensive mood, they
flash upon that inward eye, which is the bliss of solitude.
And then my heart with pleasure, fills and dances with

(05:41):
the daffodils. All right, thank you for joining me today.
I hope you heard something that inspires, that uplifts you
and that you can incorporate into your own life. This
is Bob Roth. Stay calm m hey, all of you

(06:04):
out there. I'd love to hear from you. You can
send me your stories, your questions, or anything else on
your mind. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook or
Instagram at Meditation Bob. You can also send me an
email at meditation Bob Roth at gmail dot com. I
look forward to hearing from you