November 23, 2022 • 49 mins
Fable Babies! We're in between seasons, but that doesn't mean we don't miss you. We think about you all the damn time! With Thanksgiving nipping at our heels, Will got on the mic with #Storytime producers Daniela, Jordan, and Jason to share some of the most hilarious and cringy T-Gives tales.
We'll be back with more bonus episodes during the holiday season, so give us a call us at (323) 741-1873 to share your stories!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:22):
Oh, hello, and welcome to a very special Thanksgiving episode
of hashtag Storytime. I'm your host, Will Giblet Gravy McFadden. Now,
we have been working hard banging out season four, but
in the meantime I wanted to give you a little
taste to satiate your story Time thirst. I figured all
you Fable babies are going to be traveling to and
(00:43):
fro and could use some fresh content to entertain you
on your road trip, or to lull you to sleep
before take off, or to blast in your headphones to
drown out the conspiratorial rantings of your shitty uncle. You know,
use it as you see fit. Speaking of family, this episode,
I am joined by the official Fable fam my good
friends Jason Daniella and Jordan's. Now, we did a deep
(01:06):
dive on one of our favorite subreddits A I t A,
which is am I the Asshole And this is a
place where people post their controversial stories of strife and
let the Internet decide if they are the asshole in
that situation or not. Well, let me tell you we
found some Thanksgiving gems and play judge jury and assecutioner.
(01:27):
What's up, Fable Babies and Happy Thanksgiving? We're doing something different.
We're experimenting, we're trying new things. I'm joined by my
fantastic fable Fact faculty, my my crew of producers, Jason,
Jordan's and Daniella. Thank you all for being here and
for making this show happen. Like such idiots on video calls,
(01:51):
I realized, Just so you all know, they're all waving
at the podcast. Obviously they're new to this whole media.
Um are you Are you guys excited for Thanksgiving? Do
you do you have any big plans? Hell? Yes, um,
I I'm gonna go see my grandma, which is amazing.
So it's going to be like a Puerto Rican Thanksgiving,
(02:13):
lots of yellow rice and Grandma in in Miami, or Orlando, Orlando. Yeah,
very Florida Thanksgiving. Yes, excited? Jordan, What are you doing
for Thanksgiving? Um? I'm probably just gonna, you know, order
some pizza and watch Netflix and not have to stress
(02:36):
about family drama. I'm not going home for Thanksgiving with luck.
I had enough of my friends, right, I had enough
of my family for two years. Last year when they
dragged me to the yurt. If you all recall, I
remember that you were in a year yes, Giving, it
(02:56):
was giving yurt. It was not it was not an
enjoyable experience. So I'm going to abstain from the Thanksgiving celebrations. However,
I'm just gonna eat like a to fur ky or
whatever the vegans eat. You know, call today. Also, you're
you're from upstate New York, where it's like there's like
(03:17):
five ft of snow about to be dumped on it
this weekend allegedly. Yeah, so I'm feeling real good about
my choice to move across the country today, Like you're
just upstain, You're like Thanksgiving, I'm just gonna ubstain. I'm
just gonna pass. I'm gonna pass on it. I think
more people should abstain from Thanksgiving. Hot Takebain. You're really
deserving after your your experience, though, Like I feel like
(03:40):
you get three Thanksgiving passes because of that. I think
we'll need a separate episode story time of Thanksgiving in
your Yeah, really, Debree, Jason, what do you? What do you?
What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Well, I'm excited to
see my family. I'm not excited for how cold it's
going to be. I'm I'm going from Los angele ust
(04:00):
to Minneapolis. Minnesota and there will be a lot of snow. Yeah,
it's uh, it's just gonna be survival mode when I
get there, bundle up, put a lot of layers on
my eleven month old baby, and just hope we through
the winter. This is baby's first thanks She's going to
(04:22):
have her first turkey mashed potato. Stephanie Mary's Are you
going to dress her? Pure her in a cornucopia? Yes,
that's what I want. She will be in a cornucopia
dressed as a turkey. But she's not going to be served.
She's going to be serving. That's right, serving elutely. Cut
(04:43):
the camera. Hopefully there'll there'll be a picture in the
description of this hopefully. Alright. Great. So the plan today
is we have scoured one of our favorite sub breddits,
am I the Asshole, and we've all found some fantastic
stories h um Thanksgiving, and we're going to share them
with you, and then we're also going to judge these
(05:04):
people and vote whether they are assholes or not. If
you haven't been on I am I the Asshole. It's
a great subreddit. It's you know, it's a it's a
place for it's a catharsis for frustrated moral philosophers, you know,
in a place to finally find out if you were
wrong in that argument that's been bothering you for years
and years and years. So it's a safe space to
call people assholes, which I appreciate. So I'm gonna go
(05:29):
ahead and go first. I've got a great, a great
story um. It's posted by user breath havics briath. I
think it's pronounced breathe vix um and they said, I,
twenty year old male, am currently pretty much estranged from
my family. Lucky. I have a younger sister, seven female,
(05:53):
named Tori. When one of my friends, Brendan, twenty year
old man, started dating Tori, I hated it for but
eventually I gained a best friend and they got married
and I was the best man. Brendan is now like
my brother. We are that close. In Tori left Brendan
for another guy, reality TV type shit. My parents were
(06:17):
incredibly upset, as was I. My sister moved in with
the guy immediately. My parents knew I was pissed, but
had to quote unquote support their daughter. Let's take a
moment there and unpack that first paragraph thoughts. Tori's a thought,
I don't trust people named Brendan. Yeah, okay, okay, I
(06:37):
do feel bad for Brendan who found a friend in
his brother in law, but I will let Tori follow
her hard. Here's where I'm getting kind of triggered. Is
this guy chows chose the he made best friends with
the new guy, you know, and he's choosing him over
his sister. Yeah, also be friends reality star. Now, don't
(07:03):
be shy. It's just he's he seems like a dude
who's like bros before hose, you know, bros before hose.
Even if that hose my sister just soonn say bros
before Yeah, dude, what about family first? I need like,
what about? Because I think I got it twisted. So
Anne's sister got a new boyfriend. Quick recap. Okay, the poster.
(07:28):
Let's call him Derek, uh Derek. His sister Tory got
married to a guy named Brendan. Derek fell in love
with Brendan Broman Scalore loved each other. That were besties.
Then sister Tori cheated, possibly cheated, I'm going to assume
cheated on. Brendon got a new guy, left Brendan for
another guy, and then Derek was really upset with his sister,
(07:53):
super piste, and then he said, my parents knew I
was super pissed, but I had to support their daughter.
So he's even referred ring to his own sister as
their daughter. Weird. Al right, So that's where we're that's
where we're at, that's the that's what Derek's bringing. Okay,
let's move on. When Tory's second wedding happened, I didn't go.
Me and my dad had it out over it. My
(08:15):
mother tried playing peacekeeper for the family. My parents then
started giving me the silent treatment. When holiday season came around,
it was the height of COVID. My parents said that
I should just do my own thing this year because
with me going out a lot, they didn't want me
spreading diseases. My exact response was, if you're worried about
catching diseases from other people, shouldn't you be more worried
about Tory. I mean, she's the one who likes to
(08:36):
sleep around. Me and my dad had another fight, especially
due to this family over everything. Mantra Okay, speechless. So
I think this Derek that is his name. I mean,
that's why I made up that's his fake name. Twisted individual.
I think insinuating that his sister would give his parents
(08:58):
and STD is ludicrous, disgusting, insane, and petty. He also,
to me, from this, sounds like he's kind of like
an anti masker, anti vaxer, because he's kind of like
his parents are like, it's maybe don't come to Thanksgiving
because you seem to be going out all the time
and doing whatever you want. He's like, Oh, you're going
(09:19):
to get a disease from Tori because she's a whore. Yeah,
not cool. Call me ludicrous, but I feel like he
something's weird with him and Tori, Like maybe he's got
some jealous yeah. And also yeah, I feel like he
has no friends and he's still friends with Brendan. Yeah,
(09:41):
he feels like monster energy drink as a person. That's
what I'm getting from his vibe. Okay, so here's my thoughts.
I have conflicting views. First of all, I agree that
when you have someone that you're dating and you introduced
them to your family, they are obviously going to form
(10:02):
some sort of connection. So I recognize why he would
feel disappointed and her and like maybe even still want
to maintain some sort of relationship or friendship with her
ex husband. Whatever the situation is. The thing that is
messy is like to not show up to her wedding.
That's just like I think uncalled for. I think that
it wasn't drama enough for you to have to not
(10:25):
go to her wedding. And then yeah, the whole Thanksgiving
situation and like the comments about his sister giving and
STD is very different than a viral illness. You can
dead too. You have to go an extra mile to
try to contract an STD or potentially contract ST. You
could just get COVID from being in the same space.
(10:46):
So it's like, I'm not even remotely comparable. Like You're
not going to get chlamydia at Thanksgiving dinner from you know,
from your daughter sitting across the table. Okay, let me
let let me get hit you with this next paragraph,
so he says. Uh. Derek says, I, I hardly spoke
to my family. My parents would send me text like
when you are ready to apologize, will be here, type shit.
(11:10):
I responded with a Bible verse about adultery and how
they support it. I was berated again, and we hardly
spoke until October one last year. I was told we
were doing Thanksgiving a Tori's place, and if I wanted
to come, I needed to apologize to Tory and her husband.
I laughed and ended up going to Brendan's families. When
Brendan's mom's posted me with her family on FB and
(11:31):
tagged me with a quote about family being those you choose.
I never told her to post it, but my mom
saw it and went ape ship asking for me to
come over and talk. Even commenting on the post, I'm
just gonna throw out there anybody who responds with a
Bible Verse to anything, I don't trust him. I think,
um with the whole Bible Verse thing and this budding
(11:55):
bromance with Brendon, like it sounds like Derek and Brendon
need to buy like a like a van and start
like an Instagram page for like van life, because that's
really what I'm getting from these guys. They just yeah,
bro van life. No one has to bother them. They can,
(12:16):
you know, send Bible verses to people and just yeah,
be friends forever. And also Brandon Brendan's mother sounds like
also a loser, um one who uses Facebook? You're chooky?
Um No, that's a mom's platform. You but you don't
(12:39):
mean what she's supposed to be. She is, I'll leave
her alone. But she really said pick or it didn't happen, Like,
did you really not have that many people at Thanksgiving
that you really stretched to bring this man over? Just weird.
It feels a little targeted. It's definitely a post that's
like because she probably only has about thirty five people
(13:01):
who follow her, you know, and look, one of which
is probably this guy's mom. And she was like, families
who you choose? Look how happy we are, Look at
our Look at all these pies. Yeah. Why also poor Tory, Yeah,
poor Tori in the middle of this, just following her heart.
You know, she may have she may have fallen out
of love with Brendan. Maybe Brendan was a piece of ship. Yeah,
if he's hanging out with Derek, that's exactly what I
(13:24):
was gonna say. Your vibe at tracks your tribe. Yeah,
that's weird. Last paragraph here she says, he says, So
this year, my plan is to go to Brendan's family again.
My mom called and said she wanted to host this year.
I asked if Tory and her husband would be there.
She said, of course, they are their family I said, so,
so was Brendan. But I saw how you treated him
(13:47):
and me, so no, thank you. Yesterday my dad called
and said Mom is distraught and has been for years.
She wants us to get along and I need to
do the right thing. I said, I'll come if my
sister isn't invited. He said that he wouldn't do that
to the family. I said, he did that for me,
to me for two years. He claimed I did it
to myself. My mom is now saying that it was
my dad that has been a hardass about this the
(14:08):
whole time. I said she should have divorced him then,
because I'm not putting up with his ship anymore. Either
my sister isn't invited or I don't come. Um, period,
this guy's a baby. I need to take a walk.
Um it's gone too far. If the mom's distraught, I'm sick.
(14:29):
And it really does sound like Derek and Brandon those
are the names right throughout this whole episode. We're just
like switching names for them. It's like, and Frederick and
John need to just but they really do seem to
be life partners at this point, like they really, I mean,
clearly they're writing so hard for each other. I'm with Jason.
(14:50):
I think that they should buy a little cottage and Vermont,
maybe Washington or Oregons live off the lane and they
don't have to interact with society. They can just forget
about their parents and like yeah, yeah, whatever you want,
because clearly they're just such a servants to the people
(15:12):
in there. Yeah, it would be like a it would
be like a patriarchy village. They want to just like
control Tory, but they can try to do that from
afar where they're not hurting anyone but each other and
they're just like every night there's like, what do you
think Tory's up to? Um? Probably a whole Yeah, giving
(15:33):
my family clamidia, the fact that he's coming in at
the end and being like you know what, I'm going
to break up my parents marriage over this, Like yeah,
why do you bring papa into this and say divorce
his as he has Alzheimer's, Like leave him out of this.
I also don't like that Brendan Brandon was shocked when
(15:54):
he's like is Tory coming? Like, babe, you have family
at three? Like yeah, she's coming, Like wait, that was Derek.
That was Derek, Yes, exactly, Derek Brendan. I don't like that, Derek,
they're the same broad and chat. I didn't like that
he was so confused that obviously toris coming like, yeah,
(16:17):
you have a van, stay there. He's given ultimatums. You know,
he's he's the one who's saying it's it's pick, it's
either me or her, and it's thrown out Bible versus
saying divorced dad. Like, this guy has no compromise. This
guy is just it's his way or the highway. And uh,
(16:38):
I think I don't even know if we need to vote,
but let's go ahead and vote. Who do we think Derek,
the original poster here is an asshole? Yes, yes, I
kind of get what he's saying. I'm kidding, asshole, asshole.
I think it's a pretty clear resounding this guy is
an asshole. Yeah, alright, great, I'm glad we are glad
(17:01):
we established that this guy, he's like an A lister asshole.
Let's top tier, self righteous, super self righteous asshole. I
was gonna say, I think the family should divorce freaking Derek.
They should be like, you know what, you go live
with Brendan's family and the year, like we're done with you.
(17:23):
I'm with you. What he's reminding me of, he's throwing
out Bible verses. He's reminded me of a little Bible
story I know where um, God told Abraham to kill
his son and then he was going to do it,
and God was like, I just wanted to see if
you would do it, and it was like, come on,
God's why would you do that? I can't believe you
(17:46):
were about to do it? Abraham. It's hardcore, dude. Yeah,
there's your Bible. Also, how about the Bible verse of like,
don't call your sister a horror. There's what's actually in
the Bible. I bet you it's like you should call
your sister a horror Luke seventeen, where it says all
(18:07):
sisters are all right, let's move on, Jordan, You've got
a story to share, right, Yeah, I sure do. So
this is another Ami the asshole, and he's asking if
(18:32):
he's the asshole for telling his wife that she can
stay home this Thanksgiving. So my wife is a grade
A picky eater, a plus picky eater. Actually, so Emahasis
the worm. It's it's bothersome to a certain degree, but
on holidays, basically the ship show begins. She'd refused to
eat certain meals and Mom would take it personally, which
(18:54):
results in a series of arguments between them. As a compromise,
this year, my wife offered to bring her own food
to Thanksgiving dinner. I was stunned. I asked if she
thought this through, and it's would be weird for her
to bring her own food, especially when she wouldn't be
sharing it with anybody else, and told her to think
about how Mom will react. She'd get very offended and upset.
(19:17):
My wife said that that's not her problem and that
she was just trying to make it work by bringing
her own meal. I told her again that Mom might
not like. Mom might not like nor even allow this.
She blew up at me, asking me if I wanted
her to either eat food she doesn't like or to
go hungry. I suggested she just gives my mom's food
a chance, but she said it wasn't about my mom's cooking,
(19:39):
she just does not like certain foods. We had an argument,
and I ended up telling her she could stay home
this Thanksgiving and have whatever meal she likes. She got
quiet and then lashed out, calling me insensitive and negative
to say this to her. I repeatedly asked her to
calm down, but she couldn't stop ranting about how I
was basically willing to exclude her from a major event.
(20:01):
She started cold shouldering me about it, while at the
same time guilting me, saying I'm treating her poorly. After
she offered the quote perfect compromise. So is he the asshole?
I'll start First of all, it sounds like your mom
was cooking is trash because she can say it's not
like she can say it's not about the cooking all
she wants, but realistically it's a nicer, more respectful thing
(20:24):
to do. Oh No, I just don't like the green
bean cast role. I don't like anyone's screaming no, that's disgusting.
So I think it probably is a little bit about
the mom's cooking. And second of all, what about all
the people who are like gluten free vegetarian like myself?
Last year, I brought like fake chicken patties from Walmart
and just pop that between two slices of bread, called
that my Thanksgiving dinner. Like, it's not a disrespectful thing.
(20:47):
You just have to adapt to what your diet needs.
So I think he's being dramatic. I think his mom
needs to relax and also sign up for masterclass and
take a cooking lesson because the green bean cast role
needs to be and that's my that's my degree. I'll
just say I wanted to throw in that. Um, this
(21:07):
is kind of reminding me of Love is Blind season
three a little bit um without giving any spoilers, there's
there's a couple Cole and Zeneb and um. The moral
of the story, you know, for both with me is like,
you're not both assholes, you're both just wrong for each
(21:27):
other and so probably acting like assholes because both of
these people in this story came off like children to me.
I think it's really sussed when anyone refers to their
parents to someone else's like mom and dad. This guy
just kept being like a mom this and mom that.
It's like that's your mother, that's not my mother, So
(21:50):
don't just say mom without my Um, that's like what
weird rich people do. And then just like psychos do,
they're just like mom and dad. Um. So I think
that was suss. But I also think she's like, I'm
gonna bring my own food to Thanksgiving is just a
(22:11):
little bit weird to me when you are the when
you're the guest, if you're a part of the family,
like and someone is definitely not taking your dietary restrictions
into account of course, like bring your own meal. It
just sounds like she doesn't like this food and this
kind of food, and so to me, I'm just like,
(22:33):
you're being very showy by bringing your own food. Um,
if it's just a preference, like just put food on
your plate and don't eat it, like move it around.
I've been doing that for thirty five years. I hate
eating at people's houses. It's disgusting, but I do it
and I've never been called on it. So we need
(22:53):
to unpack that. I hate eating at other people's home,
so I think other people's homes are disgusting and I
don't like the food that they make. No matter what.
I'm just like, don't invite me to your home. Invite
me to a third party location, like let's go to
Food Rockers, let's go to Red Robin. I'm with you, Yeah,
(23:16):
I don't. We might have to do it. And am
I the asshole about Jason? Yeah? Also, like my fat
ass will eat anything, so that's wrong. I'm all about
going over will of this one. Yeah, I don't care
if they baked it with their big toe. I mean
I would, but if they didn't tell me, I'm not
going to be like m taste like hanging out, you know,
(23:38):
like I wouldn't know. I just like I would already
have eaten really quick detour. Like someone, as a wedding
gift to my wife and me invited us over to
dinner at their house. And I was like, that's the
worst gift ever. They were like, we want to have
you over for a gift. Car. Are they a Michelin
star chef? No? Are they broke food? No? The food
(24:01):
sucks and they have money. So anyway, Oh my god,
are they going to listen to this? And I don't
think so, but I hope so if you're listening, I
did this for comedy. Sorry not sorry, Um, I'm with Jason.
I don't like to eat out other people's houses either,
(24:22):
because anytime I'm like eating off their plate, it's like
you have rag goose stuck to your chupper wear. Like
this tastes like dishwater, like you know what I'm saying, Like,
I'm just imagining the food that you had on this
plate prior to me. Eating it, so it just makes
me anxious. I prefer a restaurant. I don't know why.
I don't know. I don't know who you guys friends are.
(24:42):
It sounds like you're friends with Rip van Winkle, but
like my friends, who are these who are these ragamuffins
making dinner? Yeah? What do you? Who are you guys eating?
Who's your friends? You guy? Charlie the chimney sweep, who's fresh?
(25:03):
Ba ja'son got invited by Rumpel still skinned to have
an entree and hasn't recovered since. Like, god, damn it.
My friends used soap, So maybe we're different. What's your take?
What do you think about? I'm sorry we don't use
(25:25):
ribbed ven Winkle as a reference enough. And I'm going
to bring it back to the guy who fell asleep
for a hundred years. Yeah, his beard is serving musty um. Yeah,
he's definitely not wearing like a net. He's not he's
not wearing a hairnet. Yeah, like that Jordan that he
(25:50):
was a Jordan's lunch monitor, and that's why she's still
shaking up. It's sure every time you walk past my table,
to beard just dragged across my place. Oh my um Okay,
what's the story again? Um, we've we've gone so far
(26:13):
we have strayed a path. Um. I it's definitely weird
to bring your own food, but I agree with what
Jason said. Just grab a piece of garlic bread. And
what is she so picky about? Like there's veggies, their starch,
and there's me, Like, I don't know, figure it out,
(26:34):
eat the dog's food, like I don't know, pretend um
eat a piece of jam. I feel like she could
fake it if so maybe be like, hey, babe, can
you bring me like a little air fried patty and
like you do it because I don't want to look rude,
like making, you know, an artichoke dip or something like
(26:54):
make that on him and like he knows that he
married like a chucky cheese eater. So like I feel
like the mom is also being really old school, like
she can't make a little like side of nuggets in
the shape of a turkey. Like I don't know. I
think they're good. Yeah, I think these people are good
candidate for a TLC show I just discovered called I'm
(27:16):
Dating a Mom's Boy, so twisted show. But it's usually
like a girlfriend or a wife and a mother just
like facing off. And this is definitely that this sounds
like the most TLC show of all time. Yeah, I
would you. You all offered some good solutions that I
(27:37):
didn't think about. She could pregame before Thanksgiving dinner, have
her little whatever she made beforehand, and then just like
you were saying, stirred the little food around. Or you
could try to frame it as like something kind you're doing,
like bring one dish, maybe pre game a little bit,
and then cook yourself one dish and look, I brought
this for everybody, and then like just take a giant
(27:59):
heap right at the beginning, you know what I mean.
There's definitely ways. The thing that I'm interested in knowing
is how long they've been together, Like is this year
twenty nine of eating mimas like cranberry sauce or what like.
If this is only a few years in, then you
have to suck it. If you're on your like five,
I get it, like I'm going to Denny's afterwards. So
(28:20):
it kind of is There's a lot of context required
for me. And also the thing that gets me is
if this person had allergies or if they had dietary
restrictions like those are valid reasons to be like I
can't eat any of this, like I have Celiac or whatever,
and then to be like, I will bring something that
works for me. Great, that's there's the compromise. But like
(28:43):
at Thanksgiving meal, there's so much variety, there's so many
different types of food. To to be like I hate
all of this is like you're a prick. Like you know,
when you're at that level of a picky eater where
you're like I only eat noodles with butter, it's like
I can't be around you, Like I can't. I can't
date you know, I can't, Like how do we live life?
(29:05):
If you're like everywhere we go, you're gonna go on vacation,
go to grease and be like I'll just have a
chicken nugget or two, It's like I would lose my mind.
So I think this guy is kind of the asshole
just for marrying somebody who is such a peak a
picky eater and like committing to this life. Yeah, like
(29:26):
you know what I mean. So I'm in this guy's
an asshole. Before we there is an update. By the way,
I wanted to get everyone's thoughts first, but there's an update,
so it says update. So my wife has decided to
go spend Thanksgiving with her family, who, by the way
hours away, so this means unnecessary travel expenses instead and
basically ditched me for a whole week. Y'all happy? Now?
(29:49):
That's so. That does make me think, and that does
make me think it is a little bit of the
mom's cooking because if she can go, or maybe she
can just go to her own families and just like
I'm just gonna eat my yeah, I'm gonna eat my
noodles with better or maybe her parents are also as
equally as picky as her and they're like happy Thanksgiving,
(30:10):
like here's your here's your like dino nuggets. It is
to me sounding like it's, uh, it's like your mom's
cooking situation, because I just don't believe in adult picky
eaters as as um as this is describing. I think
(30:30):
there are some, but to me, I think most adults
claim to be picky eaters to avoid having to eat
someone's cooking. And maybe this is the type of guy
who's like, my mom's cooking is like restaurant quality, and
it's like she put like a dash of pepper on
the turkey and called it today. So it's like she
he could be the type of guy who would be
offended by someone my mom's are. My parents are the
(30:52):
same way. Parents don't listen to this. My grandma on
my dad's side, I cannot cook to save her life.
She'd burn the kitchen down. And if my mom were
to say that to my dad, he would like have
to storm out of the house and like go to
the lake and cry. So sometimes to avoid the drama,
you just say, like your picky. So that's what it's
giving to me. I think both of them are immature
(31:13):
and therefore like a little bit of assholes. I don't
know that there's a winner and a loser in this situation. Yeah,
they're all assholes here, Wow, Jason, did you vote? They're
both assholes? All right? Welcome back? All right, Daniella, you've
(31:35):
got a story you want to share. I have a
very good asshole or no asshole story. Let me know.
Hen am I the asshole for making my Thanksgiving guests pay?
And this guy goes, am I the asshole for making
my thanks Giving guests pay for their own entrees. We
live in Florida and my mother and Stepdad are driving
(31:58):
down from Michigan to visit it. We have an idea
to do lobster instead of a traditional turkey for the meal.
The cost of lobster right, but the cost of lobster
being quite high, we thought it would be great to
have a bring your own lobster theme, meaning guests would
prepay for their own live lobster that I will pick
(32:19):
up on Thanksgiving Day. I will only pick up the
amount of lobster that are prepaid. Pause. That doesn't feel
like Thanksgiving that. Yeah, this this also feels like the
friend who's like, hey, let's all go on vacation together,
(32:39):
Like I'm gonna pick a five star resort in the Maldives,
and like I can afford it, Like, but you guys
also got to go pay, Like can you guys? You
guys can do that, right, Everybody cool with that? Cool? Okay,
So I'm having a wedding, but I can't pay for it,
and I would like everyone to pay to come to
my wedding. That's what it sounds like too. So if
(33:00):
he's already getting into the thick of it, why are
you making this like a classy, bougie thing. It feels
like no one wants this. Yeah, and also, are you
gonna like, like, sorry, three out of the four of
you paid for lobsters. I'm going to pick up the
three lobsters and whoever the fourth person like, you're just
not gonna I'll give you a craw dad or two
(33:22):
you eat the dog? Yeah? What the hell? Um, all right,
let me finish, he goes. My mom, who is more traditional,
is quite frustrated that she will be traveling all the
way to Florida and still has to pay for her
own food. I'm with Mom. She said she would rather
have turkey stuffing and green bean casserole. My wife's family, though,
(33:47):
is very excited about the idea, but not my mom
and stepdad. I'm concerned this is coming off more selfish
and not the fun shellfish dinner I was hoping for.
Oh I see what he did. More more selfish, not shellfish. Yeah. Yeah,
I mean here's the thing. You don't go. You don't
(34:08):
throw a party at a club and get bottle service
and invite all of your friends to your party and
then be like, oh um, I'm gonna actually have to
charge you per shot. I'm sorry, we're doing an insanely extravagant,
expensive thing that I want to do, but I also
know that it's out of my price range. So I'm
(34:30):
just gonna make it your problem. Come on, dude, asking
your parents to chip in on anything feels weird, Like
just that alone, be like, hey mom, can you venmo
met Bucks? Like can you undo my my what is
it called? Sections? Yeah? Like can you undo my C
(34:53):
section scar? Like what are we talking about? Yeah? Also,
lobster is not the Thanksgiving vibe or they're going to
have to pay per butter dip? You know, Like how
how tedious are we going to get here? Counterpoint though,
I will Yeah, I want to just say this person
(35:14):
didn't ask to be born, so their parents kind of
brought them into this mess, and they feel like they
should be able to charge their parents whatever they want.
He didn't ask to be born. I actually say that
all the time. I've always said that, But I don't know.
Sitting around the Thanksgiving table with like cracking mallets and
(35:37):
crackers and bibbs and just being like just flying butter
shellfish everywhere. I mean, I that sounds good to me.
I just think it's a weird theme. Don't bring up
the theme if like, you're not catering it. And you know,
(35:58):
regular Thanksgiving get a huge turk cut its limbs up
and budget friendly and green bean casserole with Tori and Derek,
they're they're doing a bit much. I feel or do
like a fundraiser for your Thanksgiving meal, you know, like started, Yeah,
(36:20):
crowd fund this lobster Thanksgiving meal. Yeah, we're just something
to strive for. Be like, I want to have a
Thanksgiving lobster meal in the next five years. I better
find a job that can make this happen. Drive lift, dude,
and this economy and this with inflation, lobster prices are
(36:43):
through the roof. I think I'm gonna go ahead and say,
I think this guy is also an asshole for for
like proposing this this idea and then not having the
means to follow to back it up. I agree, I'm
in a second that broke asshole. I agree, definitely an asshole.
(37:04):
No for sure, Um, I think, like, why first of all,
are you picking crustation for Thanksgiving dinner. That's a little
that's like a bizarre choice to begin with. That's like
crustation like a New Year's thing. So like maybe like
pushing them, see if you can save up by that,
and yeah, like if you want to do it, then
you need to be able to like pay for it
in my opinion, if you're inviting people to your house
(37:24):
to do that. So yeah, asshole for me as well.
But it's poor mom is probably like I'm allergic to shellfish.
I just don't want to see and she's taking a
flight just to eat. Selfish with your selfish ass that's
just bring an happy pen and bring your own meal, mema.
Jeezma gon Cracker dentures after one shrimp like it's not
(37:49):
a happy Thanksgiving. Its sounding like, yeah, that sounds rough,
all right, last story, Jason, what do you guys? Take
it home? So am I the asshole for bringing my
significant other to my mom's Thanksgiving dinner despite knowing my
mom doesn't like her? So here's the backstory. Um, in
fifth or sixth grade, there was a girl named Sarah
that made my life absolute hell, to the point where
(38:11):
my mom would still use her as an example of
the stereotypical personification of a spoiled child for years. Needless
to say, my family hated her, and about five months ago,
I moved back to my hometown because I wanted to
live near my dad, who was getting pretty old, and
I want to help him and my mom out. It
sounds like a nice guy so far. Then, by coincidence,
(38:33):
I ran into Sarah at an event and we started
talking about school and other things. She's now a med
school graduate and it's done pretty well for herself. She
apologized for everything she turned her turned herself around. She apologized.
We basically laughed at the dumb, cringe worthy middle school
drama and we ended up spending a night together, and
after some time I took her out on a proper
(38:54):
date and it was amazing. Needless to say, I'm really
happy into her. Can't say this name from my mom though,
So wait one second. We spend the night together, and
then after some time I took her out on a
proper day. Yeah, the order of operations there feels a
little off. Maybe I'm being old fashioned, but it you know,
(39:16):
it's giving, Derek, Yeah, it's giving to me. It's giving
quote unquote nice guy vibes of like, Hey, I just
moved back because my dad's very old. Um, my dad's
suffering from elderly and so I'm so good. You should
definitely look up with me. Kind of giving that vibe
(39:40):
and then I'll take you out to dinner after like
maybe three or four nights of sometimes the heck, okay,
let's give him a chance. So my mom has been
calling her a snake and making snarky comments whenever I
bring her up, saying that people don't change, and she's
gonna double cross me eventually. I just have to wait
(40:02):
and see. I got into an argument with my mom
over this because no matter how much I tell her
that I'm happy in this new relationship, she keeps doing
this and it's starting to piss me off. Then one
time I went out to dinner with my parents and
my mom said I should be with one of my
more attractive friends that I haven't given any other girls
(40:23):
in my hometown a real chance because I'm hanging out
with that snake Sarah. So I don't know what's out there.
Oh my god. So, just to pause for a second,
Mom's kind of coming off a little harsh. Mom's kind
of an asshole. Yeah, Mom is giving a hall. She
(40:44):
said she'll double cross you eventually, Like, are you like
an international spy? Like I feel like Mom's being dramatic,
a little dramatic here. Yeah, double cross they were like
a elementary school. God forbid. She stole an extra glue stick,
Like I feel like Sarah trying to get the codes
to the nuclear devices that you like. Yeah, yeah, Honestly,
(41:09):
I feel like Sarah's misunderstood, like she was the line
leader once and now everyone is making it seem like
it was more than it was. Yes, Sarah goes by
the name Alec Travellian from Double Oh seven Golden. I oh,
just double crossing all over the place, right, That was good? Um,
(41:32):
now let's close it out. Then, yesterday Thanksgiving, I invited
Sarah to join us, as my sister also invited to
her fiance as well. My mom was overall nasty and
rude to her the whole time, and kept giving both
me and her dirty looks and being mean in small ways.
For example, my mom told her to sit in the
back instead of pulling another chair up to the table,
(41:55):
and she made snarky comments about how Sarah was dressed
more than once. After a while, Sarah took me to
the back of the house and asked me if we
could leave, and I did. I said goodbye to everyone,
and so did Sarah, including my mom. Mom called me
afterwards and we argued about it. She blamed everything on
Sarah like always, but genuinely, she hasn't done anything bad.
And I told my mom she should apologize, and she
(42:17):
said she won't. My mom is just being childish. I
don't get it. I mean, I want to know what
other mean things like her mom was like, we're out
of chairs, go sit in the garage. I it's so
weird to me that this grown ass woman, probably in
at least her forties or fifties, like hates a child
(42:38):
like she hates this Sarah as a little kid. She's like,
that's six year old Sarah. We hate her this. Yeah,
she Sarah must have done something that really really triggered
this mom when she was in her youth that she
was like forever like I hate this, I hate this kid.
She's a snake. It would be great if the guy
(42:59):
who wrote is actually doesn't know how much of a
snake Sarah actually is. And the whole time, Sarah was
walking up to the mom just being like, hey, I'm
gonna steal your son, you piece of ship, And then
when the guy would turn around, she was just like,
oh my god, your mom's being so mean to me.
Then I'm also still team Sarah because totally it's also
(43:24):
kind of giving, like mom obsessed with her son, like
doesn't want anyone to steal what's that? What's that? One? Uh?
Scientists that this whole thing is about, you know what
I'm talking about? Yeah? Whoever, Yeah, it sounds like the
mom is like a little obsessed with the son, and
it's like, you're gonna take my child away from me
if you've been hating on her since she was like
seven years old, Like you're a little off, you're a
(43:47):
little bizarre for that. And she didn't really give him
any specific reasons. She just was like she's a snake.
She's gonna double crops, Like she's gonna steal your lunch money.
She's gonna like, I don't know, Polly put gum in
your hair on the back of the bus, Like I
don't know. She's hypothesizing. The other thing is if you
have a child, when you birth them, you have to
understand one day they're going to grow up, they're going
(44:09):
to fall in up with somebody, and they're gonna want
to get married, and you, as the parent, need to
know that. You're going to make the effort to try
to support your child and they're dating whatever, So it
doesn't sound like she's even giving her like the opportunity.
It sounds like every chance she's getting, she's making the
relationships our and then aren't gat question are they married
or they're dating right now? Just dating? So in the
(44:32):
in the case that they end up getting married, now
Mom's made it super awkward for life because you've like
pickpick pick pick pick pick before they're married, and now
the wife has bad blood except now their wives and
or their husband and wife. So it's like, you know,
now it's to be like there's prettier girls in town.
(44:55):
You're the surface level Beyont. Yeah. Also, I'm really cr
just what Sarah did, like and then you know the movie,
um just go with it and they're say taking a Devlin,
like I feel like that was it, but with Sarah,
like it's been years and the guys like balding and
(45:16):
she's like, Sarah, that's such a Sarah moved like that's
from the mom. Yeah, I'm sure like Sarah came over
one time and didn't take her shoes off when she
came in the house, and that mom was like, you're
dead to me, Sarah, You're done just saying, like, my
(45:37):
mom even has people from high school or middle school
that she doesn't like, and like if I'm ever with them,
she'll be like, oh, like she's still weird. I bet,
but she's not like you know, delete that boomerang of
you two. She's disgusting. It's just like, you know, I
don't know, not that die hard. I don't even know.
(45:57):
Wait do we didn't vote on this one yet, did we? No,
I'm gonna I'm gonna vote and say they're not. He
is not the asshole. He's just unless she really is
a snake. She they have a great relationship, and mom's
the asshole. That's my vote. So the question is is
he the asshole for inviting his girlfriend even though his
mom doesn't like her. Yeah, and she's own ass asshole,
(46:25):
Like you're a corona As woman, So she's a g
a a for me, a grown ass asshole. Okay, Well,
I think that's all the time that we have. I
think we learned a lot here today, and I hope
everyone has a really great Thanksgiving and just just a reminder,
you know, don't be an asshole Thanksgiving. It's not that hard.
(46:45):
Like if you're if your son has a girlfriend like,
just just deal with it, don't be don't be an
assholt or what else did we learn? What other takeaways
did we have? What we've learned this call is that
Jason and Jordan will never have dinner at each other's houses,
but me and will will be hosting and attending any
(47:06):
and every dinner party. That's right, I've got a butter
board ready to go. UM my rebuttal. First of all,
I think Jason might be the only person's house that
I would eat at because if he shares my sentiment
about eating at other people's houses, I would presume that
he has a very clean kitchen. So Jason, I'm happy
to come over anytime. Um. And then my takeaway would
(47:28):
be stay out of the year, um, keep your parents
out of your relationships. Um. And that if you if
your girlfriend find new boyfriend, and then you should take
her old boyfriend and move to the suburbs of Vermont
and started a co opt. That's my takeaways. And I
(47:49):
think I've learned that people are like seasons. We change
baby wow and Donna uplifting now. And lastly, I'll just
say also, just compromise a lot of these A lot
of these situations are just because people aren't willing to compromise.
So like, look, the holiday, it's it's a lot of family,
it's it's a lot about compromise. So just like just
(48:11):
try and meet everybody halfway and with some grace and
some humility. That's all I got to say. Thanks for
listening to Hashtag story Time season four. We'll be coming
at you early next year, and we've got some really
top notch guests like Adam pally Right or Strong and
Lucky Yates, so make sure you subscribe so you don't
(48:33):
miss a single episode. As always, we'd love to hear
your stories, so give the Storytime hotline a call at
three to three seven four one three and tell us
about your shittiest holiday experience. If you love Reddit stories
like these, make sure you follow us on I G
and TikTok links in the description. Finally, I'd just like
(48:54):
to say how grateful I am for each and every
one of you fable babies out there listening and sharing.
I hope you all have magical holiday season filled with love, laughter,
and his few interactions with assholes as possible. Hashtag Storytime
is produced by I Heart Radio and Curativity, hosted by
Will McFadden, Produced by Jason Shapiro, Jordan Elijah Michael, daniel
Le Mora and Will McFadden. Original music by Scott Simmons.
Oh, hello, and welcome to a very special Thanksgiving episode
of hashtag Storytime. I'm your host, Will Giblet Gravy McFadden. Now,
we have been working hard banging out season four, but
in the meantime I wanted to give you a little
taste to satiate your story Time thirst. I figured all
you Fable babies are going to be traveling to and
(00:43):
fro and could use some fresh content to entertain you
on your road trip, or to lull you to sleep
before take off, or to blast in your headphones to
drown out the conspiratorial rantings of your shitty uncle. You know,
use it as you see fit. Speaking of family, this episode,
I am joined by the official Fable fam my good
friends Jason Daniella and Jordan's. Now, we did a deep
(01:06):
dive on one of our favorite subreddits A I t A,
which is am I the Asshole And this is a
place where people post their controversial stories of strife and
let the Internet decide if they are the asshole in
that situation or not. Well, let me tell you we
found some Thanksgiving gems and play judge jury and assecutioner.
(01:27):
What's up, Fable Babies and Happy Thanksgiving? We're doing something different.
We're experimenting, we're trying new things. I'm joined by my
fantastic fable Fact faculty, my my crew of producers, Jason,
Jordan's and Daniella. Thank you all for being here and
for making this show happen. Like such idiots on video calls,
(01:51):
I realized, Just so you all know, they're all waving
at the podcast. Obviously they're new to this whole media.
Um are you Are you guys excited for Thanksgiving? Do
you do you have any big plans? Hell? Yes, um,
I I'm gonna go see my grandma, which is amazing.
So it's going to be like a Puerto Rican Thanksgiving,
(02:13):
lots of yellow rice and Grandma in in Miami, or Orlando, Orlando. Yeah,
very Florida Thanksgiving. Yes, excited? Jordan, What are you doing
for Thanksgiving? Um? I'm probably just gonna, you know, order
some pizza and watch Netflix and not have to stress
(02:36):
about family drama. I'm not going home for Thanksgiving with luck.
I had enough of my friends, right, I had enough
of my family for two years. Last year when they
dragged me to the yurt. If you all recall, I
remember that you were in a year yes, Giving, it
(02:56):
was giving yurt. It was not it was not an
enjoyable experience. So I'm going to abstain from the Thanksgiving celebrations. However,
I'm just gonna eat like a to fur ky or
whatever the vegans eat. You know, call today. Also, you're
you're from upstate New York, where it's like there's like
(03:17):
five ft of snow about to be dumped on it
this weekend allegedly. Yeah, so I'm feeling real good about
my choice to move across the country today, Like you're
just upstain, You're like Thanksgiving, I'm just gonna ubstain. I'm
just gonna pass. I'm gonna pass on it. I think
more people should abstain from Thanksgiving. Hot Takebain. You're really
deserving after your your experience, though, Like I feel like
(03:40):
you get three Thanksgiving passes because of that. I think
we'll need a separate episode story time of Thanksgiving in
your Yeah, really, Debree, Jason, what do you? What do you?
What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Well, I'm excited to
see my family. I'm not excited for how cold it's
going to be. I'm I'm going from Los angele ust
(04:00):
to Minneapolis. Minnesota and there will be a lot of snow. Yeah,
it's uh, it's just gonna be survival mode when I
get there, bundle up, put a lot of layers on
my eleven month old baby, and just hope we through
the winter. This is baby's first thanks She's going to
(04:22):
have her first turkey mashed potato. Stephanie Mary's Are you
going to dress her? Pure her in a cornucopia? Yes,
that's what I want. She will be in a cornucopia
dressed as a turkey. But she's not going to be served.
She's going to be serving. That's right, serving elutely. Cut
(04:43):
the camera. Hopefully there'll there'll be a picture in the
description of this hopefully. Alright. Great. So the plan today
is we have scoured one of our favorite sub breddits,
am I the Asshole, and we've all found some fantastic
stories h um Thanksgiving, and we're going to share them
with you, and then we're also going to judge these
(05:04):
people and vote whether they are assholes or not. If
you haven't been on I am I the Asshole. It's
a great subreddit. It's you know, it's a it's a
place for it's a catharsis for frustrated moral philosophers, you know,
in a place to finally find out if you were
wrong in that argument that's been bothering you for years
and years and years. So it's a safe space to
call people assholes, which I appreciate. So I'm gonna go
(05:29):
ahead and go first. I've got a great, a great
story um. It's posted by user breath havics briath. I
think it's pronounced breathe vix um and they said, I,
twenty year old male, am currently pretty much estranged from
my family. Lucky. I have a younger sister, seven female,
(05:53):
named Tori. When one of my friends, Brendan, twenty year
old man, started dating Tori, I hated it for but
eventually I gained a best friend and they got married
and I was the best man. Brendan is now like
my brother. We are that close. In Tori left Brendan
for another guy, reality TV type shit. My parents were
(06:17):
incredibly upset, as was I. My sister moved in with
the guy immediately. My parents knew I was pissed, but
had to quote unquote support their daughter. Let's take a
moment there and unpack that first paragraph thoughts. Tori's a thought,
I don't trust people named Brendan. Yeah, okay, okay, I
(06:37):
do feel bad for Brendan who found a friend in
his brother in law, but I will let Tori follow
her hard. Here's where I'm getting kind of triggered. Is
this guy chows chose the he made best friends with
the new guy, you know, and he's choosing him over
his sister. Yeah, also be friends reality star. Now, don't
(07:03):
be shy. It's just he's he seems like a dude
who's like bros before hose, you know, bros before hose.
Even if that hose my sister just soonn say bros
before Yeah, dude, what about family first? I need like,
what about? Because I think I got it twisted. So
Anne's sister got a new boyfriend. Quick recap. Okay, the poster.
(07:28):
Let's call him Derek, uh Derek. His sister Tory got
married to a guy named Brendan. Derek fell in love
with Brendan Broman Scalore loved each other. That were besties.
Then sister Tori cheated, possibly cheated, I'm going to assume
cheated on. Brendon got a new guy, left Brendan for
another guy, and then Derek was really upset with his sister,
(07:53):
super piste, and then he said, my parents knew I
was super pissed, but I had to support their daughter.
So he's even referred ring to his own sister as
their daughter. Weird. Al right, So that's where we're that's
where we're at, that's the that's what Derek's bringing. Okay,
let's move on. When Tory's second wedding happened, I didn't go.
Me and my dad had it out over it. My
(08:15):
mother tried playing peacekeeper for the family. My parents then
started giving me the silent treatment. When holiday season came around,
it was the height of COVID. My parents said that
I should just do my own thing this year because
with me going out a lot, they didn't want me
spreading diseases. My exact response was, if you're worried about
catching diseases from other people, shouldn't you be more worried
about Tory. I mean, she's the one who likes to
(08:36):
sleep around. Me and my dad had another fight, especially
due to this family over everything. Mantra Okay, speechless. So
I think this Derek that is his name. I mean,
that's why I made up that's his fake name. Twisted individual.
I think insinuating that his sister would give his parents
(08:58):
and STD is ludicrous, disgusting, insane, and petty. He also,
to me, from this, sounds like he's kind of like
an anti masker, anti vaxer, because he's kind of like
his parents are like, it's maybe don't come to Thanksgiving
because you seem to be going out all the time
and doing whatever you want. He's like, Oh, you're going
(09:19):
to get a disease from Tori because she's a whore. Yeah,
not cool. Call me ludicrous, but I feel like he
something's weird with him and Tori, Like maybe he's got
some jealous yeah. And also yeah, I feel like he
has no friends and he's still friends with Brendan. Yeah,
(09:41):
he feels like monster energy drink as a person. That's
what I'm getting from his vibe. Okay, so here's my thoughts.
I have conflicting views. First of all, I agree that
when you have someone that you're dating and you introduced
them to your family, they are obviously going to form
(10:02):
some sort of connection. So I recognize why he would
feel disappointed and her and like maybe even still want
to maintain some sort of relationship or friendship with her
ex husband. Whatever the situation is. The thing that is
messy is like to not show up to her wedding.
That's just like I think uncalled for. I think that
it wasn't drama enough for you to have to not
(10:25):
go to her wedding. And then yeah, the whole Thanksgiving
situation and like the comments about his sister giving and
STD is very different than a viral illness. You can
dead too. You have to go an extra mile to
try to contract an STD or potentially contract ST. You
could just get COVID from being in the same space.
(10:46):
So it's like, I'm not even remotely comparable. Like You're
not going to get chlamydia at Thanksgiving dinner from you know,
from your daughter sitting across the table. Okay, let me
let let me get hit you with this next paragraph,
so he says. Uh. Derek says, I, I hardly spoke
to my family. My parents would send me text like
when you are ready to apologize, will be here, type shit.
(11:10):
I responded with a Bible verse about adultery and how
they support it. I was berated again, and we hardly
spoke until October one last year. I was told we
were doing Thanksgiving a Tori's place, and if I wanted
to come, I needed to apologize to Tory and her husband.
I laughed and ended up going to Brendan's families. When
Brendan's mom's posted me with her family on FB and
(11:31):
tagged me with a quote about family being those you choose.
I never told her to post it, but my mom
saw it and went ape ship asking for me to
come over and talk. Even commenting on the post, I'm
just gonna throw out there anybody who responds with a
Bible Verse to anything, I don't trust him. I think,
um with the whole Bible Verse thing and this budding
(11:55):
bromance with Brendon, like it sounds like Derek and Brendon
need to buy like a like a van and start
like an Instagram page for like van life, because that's
really what I'm getting from these guys. They just yeah,
bro van life. No one has to bother them. They can,
(12:16):
you know, send Bible verses to people and just yeah,
be friends forever. And also Brandon Brendan's mother sounds like
also a loser, um one who uses Facebook? You're chooky?
Um No, that's a mom's platform. You but you don't
(12:39):
mean what she's supposed to be. She is, I'll leave
her alone. But she really said pick or it didn't happen, Like,
did you really not have that many people at Thanksgiving
that you really stretched to bring this man over? Just weird.
It feels a little targeted. It's definitely a post that's
like because she probably only has about thirty five people
(13:01):
who follow her, you know, and look, one of which
is probably this guy's mom. And she was like, families
who you choose? Look how happy we are, Look at
our Look at all these pies. Yeah. Why also poor Tory, Yeah,
poor Tori in the middle of this, just following her heart.
You know, she may have she may have fallen out
of love with Brendan. Maybe Brendan was a piece of ship. Yeah,
if he's hanging out with Derek, that's exactly what I
(13:24):
was gonna say. Your vibe at tracks your tribe. Yeah,
that's weird. Last paragraph here she says, he says, So
this year, my plan is to go to Brendan's family again.
My mom called and said she wanted to host this year.
I asked if Tory and her husband would be there.
She said, of course, they are their family I said, so,
so was Brendan. But I saw how you treated him
(13:47):
and me, so no, thank you. Yesterday my dad called
and said Mom is distraught and has been for years.
She wants us to get along and I need to
do the right thing. I said, I'll come if my
sister isn't invited. He said that he wouldn't do that
to the family. I said, he did that for me,
to me for two years. He claimed I did it
to myself. My mom is now saying that it was
my dad that has been a hardass about this the
(14:08):
whole time. I said she should have divorced him then,
because I'm not putting up with his ship anymore. Either
my sister isn't invited or I don't come. Um, period,
this guy's a baby. I need to take a walk.
Um it's gone too far. If the mom's distraught, I'm sick.
(14:29):
And it really does sound like Derek and Brandon those
are the names right throughout this whole episode. We're just
like switching names for them. It's like, and Frederick and
John need to just but they really do seem to
be life partners at this point, like they really, I mean,
clearly they're writing so hard for each other. I'm with Jason.
(14:50):
I think that they should buy a little cottage and Vermont,
maybe Washington or Oregons live off the lane and they
don't have to interact with society. They can just forget
about their parents and like yeah, yeah, whatever you want,
because clearly they're just such a servants to the people
(15:12):
in there. Yeah, it would be like a it would
be like a patriarchy village. They want to just like
control Tory, but they can try to do that from
afar where they're not hurting anyone but each other and
they're just like every night there's like, what do you
think Tory's up to? Um? Probably a whole Yeah, giving
(15:33):
my family clamidia, the fact that he's coming in at
the end and being like you know what, I'm going
to break up my parents marriage over this, Like yeah,
why do you bring papa into this and say divorce
his as he has Alzheimer's, Like leave him out of this.
I also don't like that Brendan Brandon was shocked when
(15:54):
he's like is Tory coming? Like, babe, you have family
at three? Like yeah, she's coming, Like wait, that was Derek.
That was Derek, Yes, exactly, Derek Brendan. I don't like that, Derek,
they're the same broad and chat. I didn't like that
he was so confused that obviously toris coming like, yeah,
(16:17):
you have a van, stay there. He's given ultimatums. You know,
he's he's the one who's saying it's it's pick, it's
either me or her, and it's thrown out Bible versus
saying divorced dad. Like, this guy has no compromise. This
guy is just it's his way or the highway. And uh,
(16:38):
I think I don't even know if we need to vote,
but let's go ahead and vote. Who do we think Derek,
the original poster here is an asshole? Yes, yes, I
kind of get what he's saying. I'm kidding, asshole, asshole.
I think it's a pretty clear resounding this guy is
an asshole. Yeah, alright, great, I'm glad we are glad
(17:01):
we established that this guy, he's like an A lister asshole.
Let's top tier, self righteous, super self righteous asshole. I
was gonna say, I think the family should divorce freaking Derek.
They should be like, you know what, you go live
with Brendan's family and the year, like we're done with you.
(17:23):
I'm with you. What he's reminding me of, he's throwing
out Bible verses. He's reminded me of a little Bible
story I know where um, God told Abraham to kill
his son and then he was going to do it,
and God was like, I just wanted to see if
you would do it, and it was like, come on,
God's why would you do that? I can't believe you
(17:46):
were about to do it? Abraham. It's hardcore, dude. Yeah,
there's your Bible. Also, how about the Bible verse of like,
don't call your sister a horror. There's what's actually in
the Bible. I bet you it's like you should call
your sister a horror Luke seventeen, where it says all
(18:07):
sisters are all right, let's move on, Jordan, You've got
a story to share, right, Yeah, I sure do. So
this is another Ami the asshole, and he's asking if
(18:32):
he's the asshole for telling his wife that she can
stay home this Thanksgiving. So my wife is a grade
A picky eater, a plus picky eater. Actually, so Emahasis
the worm. It's it's bothersome to a certain degree, but
on holidays, basically the ship show begins. She'd refused to
eat certain meals and Mom would take it personally, which
(18:54):
results in a series of arguments between them. As a compromise,
this year, my wife offered to bring her own food
to Thanksgiving dinner. I was stunned. I asked if she
thought this through, and it's would be weird for her
to bring her own food, especially when she wouldn't be
sharing it with anybody else, and told her to think
about how Mom will react. She'd get very offended and upset.
(19:17):
My wife said that that's not her problem and that
she was just trying to make it work by bringing
her own meal. I told her again that Mom might
not like. Mom might not like nor even allow this.
She blew up at me, asking me if I wanted
her to either eat food she doesn't like or to
go hungry. I suggested she just gives my mom's food
a chance, but she said it wasn't about my mom's cooking,
(19:39):
she just does not like certain foods. We had an argument,
and I ended up telling her she could stay home
this Thanksgiving and have whatever meal she likes. She got
quiet and then lashed out, calling me insensitive and negative
to say this to her. I repeatedly asked her to
calm down, but she couldn't stop ranting about how I
was basically willing to exclude her from a major event.
(20:01):
She started cold shouldering me about it, while at the
same time guilting me, saying I'm treating her poorly. After
she offered the quote perfect compromise. So is he the asshole?
I'll start First of all, it sounds like your mom
was cooking is trash because she can say it's not
like she can say it's not about the cooking all
she wants, but realistically it's a nicer, more respectful thing
(20:24):
to do. Oh No, I just don't like the green
bean cast role. I don't like anyone's screaming no, that's disgusting.
So I think it probably is a little bit about
the mom's cooking. And second of all, what about all
the people who are like gluten free vegetarian like myself?
Last year, I brought like fake chicken patties from Walmart
and just pop that between two slices of bread, called
that my Thanksgiving dinner. Like, it's not a disrespectful thing.
(20:47):
You just have to adapt to what your diet needs.
So I think he's being dramatic. I think his mom
needs to relax and also sign up for masterclass and
take a cooking lesson because the green bean cast role
needs to be and that's my that's my degree. I'll
just say I wanted to throw in that. Um, this
(21:07):
is kind of reminding me of Love is Blind season
three a little bit um without giving any spoilers, there's
there's a couple Cole and Zeneb and um. The moral
of the story, you know, for both with me is like,
you're not both assholes, you're both just wrong for each
(21:27):
other and so probably acting like assholes because both of
these people in this story came off like children to me.
I think it's really sussed when anyone refers to their
parents to someone else's like mom and dad. This guy
just kept being like a mom this and mom that.
It's like that's your mother, that's not my mother, So
(21:50):
don't just say mom without my Um, that's like what
weird rich people do. And then just like psychos do,
they're just like mom and dad. Um. So I think
that was suss. But I also think she's like, I'm
gonna bring my own food to Thanksgiving is just a
(22:11):
little bit weird to me when you are the when
you're the guest, if you're a part of the family,
like and someone is definitely not taking your dietary restrictions
into account of course, like bring your own meal. It
just sounds like she doesn't like this food and this
kind of food, and so to me, I'm just like,
(22:33):
you're being very showy by bringing your own food. Um,
if it's just a preference, like just put food on
your plate and don't eat it, like move it around.
I've been doing that for thirty five years. I hate
eating at people's houses. It's disgusting, but I do it
and I've never been called on it. So we need
(22:53):
to unpack that. I hate eating at other people's home,
so I think other people's homes are disgusting and I
don't like the food that they make. No matter what.
I'm just like, don't invite me to your home. Invite
me to a third party location, like let's go to
Food Rockers, let's go to Red Robin. I'm with you, Yeah,
(23:16):
I don't. We might have to do it. And am
I the asshole about Jason? Yeah? Also, like my fat
ass will eat anything, so that's wrong. I'm all about
going over will of this one. Yeah, I don't care
if they baked it with their big toe. I mean
I would, but if they didn't tell me, I'm not
going to be like m taste like hanging out, you know,
(23:38):
like I wouldn't know. I just like I would already
have eaten really quick detour. Like someone, as a wedding
gift to my wife and me invited us over to
dinner at their house. And I was like, that's the
worst gift ever. They were like, we want to have
you over for a gift. Car. Are they a Michelin
star chef? No? Are they broke food? No? The food
(24:01):
sucks and they have money. So anyway, Oh my god,
are they going to listen to this? And I don't
think so, but I hope so if you're listening, I
did this for comedy. Sorry not sorry, Um, I'm with Jason.
I don't like to eat out other people's houses either,
(24:22):
because anytime I'm like eating off their plate, it's like
you have rag goose stuck to your chupper wear. Like
this tastes like dishwater, like you know what I'm saying, Like,
I'm just imagining the food that you had on this
plate prior to me. Eating it, so it just makes
me anxious. I prefer a restaurant. I don't know why.
I don't know. I don't know who you guys friends are.
(24:42):
It sounds like you're friends with Rip van Winkle, but
like my friends, who are these who are these ragamuffins
making dinner? Yeah? What do you? Who are you guys eating?
Who's your friends? You guy? Charlie the chimney sweep, who's fresh?
(25:03):
Ba ja'son got invited by Rumpel still skinned to have
an entree and hasn't recovered since. Like, god, damn it.
My friends used soap, So maybe we're different. What's your take?
What do you think about? I'm sorry we don't use
(25:25):
ribbed ven Winkle as a reference enough. And I'm going
to bring it back to the guy who fell asleep
for a hundred years. Yeah, his beard is serving musty um. Yeah,
he's definitely not wearing like a net. He's not he's
not wearing a hairnet. Yeah, like that Jordan that he
(25:50):
was a Jordan's lunch monitor, and that's why she's still
shaking up. It's sure every time you walk past my table,
to beard just dragged across my place. Oh my um Okay,
what's the story again? Um, we've we've gone so far
(26:13):
we have strayed a path. Um. I it's definitely weird
to bring your own food, but I agree with what
Jason said. Just grab a piece of garlic bread. And
what is she so picky about? Like there's veggies, their starch,
and there's me, Like, I don't know, figure it out,
(26:34):
eat the dog's food, like I don't know, pretend um
eat a piece of jam. I feel like she could
fake it if so maybe be like, hey, babe, can
you bring me like a little air fried patty and
like you do it because I don't want to look rude,
like making, you know, an artichoke dip or something like
(26:54):
make that on him and like he knows that he
married like a chucky cheese eater. So like I feel
like the mom is also being really old school, like
she can't make a little like side of nuggets in
the shape of a turkey. Like I don't know. I
think they're good. Yeah, I think these people are good
candidate for a TLC show I just discovered called I'm
(27:16):
Dating a Mom's Boy, so twisted show. But it's usually
like a girlfriend or a wife and a mother just
like facing off. And this is definitely that this sounds
like the most TLC show of all time. Yeah, I
would you. You all offered some good solutions that I
(27:37):
didn't think about. She could pregame before Thanksgiving dinner, have
her little whatever she made beforehand, and then just like
you were saying, stirred the little food around. Or you
could try to frame it as like something kind you're doing,
like bring one dish, maybe pre game a little bit,
and then cook yourself one dish and look, I brought
this for everybody, and then like just take a giant
(27:59):
heap right at the beginning, you know what I mean.
There's definitely ways. The thing that I'm interested in knowing
is how long they've been together, Like is this year
twenty nine of eating mimas like cranberry sauce or what like.
If this is only a few years in, then you
have to suck it. If you're on your like five,
I get it, like I'm going to Denny's afterwards. So
(28:20):
it kind of is There's a lot of context required
for me. And also the thing that gets me is
if this person had allergies or if they had dietary
restrictions like those are valid reasons to be like I
can't eat any of this, like I have Celiac or whatever,
and then to be like, I will bring something that
works for me. Great, that's there's the compromise. But like
(28:43):
at Thanksgiving meal, there's so much variety, there's so many
different types of food. To to be like I hate
all of this is like you're a prick. Like you know,
when you're at that level of a picky eater where
you're like I only eat noodles with butter, it's like
I can't be around you, Like I can't. I can't
date you know, I can't, Like how do we live life?
(29:05):
If you're like everywhere we go, you're gonna go on vacation,
go to grease and be like I'll just have a
chicken nugget or two, It's like I would lose my mind.
So I think this guy is kind of the asshole
just for marrying somebody who is such a peak a
picky eater and like committing to this life. Yeah, like
(29:26):
you know what I mean. So I'm in this guy's
an asshole. Before we there is an update. By the way,
I wanted to get everyone's thoughts first, but there's an update,
so it says update. So my wife has decided to
go spend Thanksgiving with her family, who, by the way
hours away, so this means unnecessary travel expenses instead and
basically ditched me for a whole week. Y'all happy? Now?
(29:49):
That's so. That does make me think, and that does
make me think it is a little bit of the
mom's cooking because if she can go, or maybe she
can just go to her own families and just like
I'm just gonna eat my yeah, I'm gonna eat my
noodles with better or maybe her parents are also as
equally as picky as her and they're like happy Thanksgiving,
(30:10):
like here's your here's your like dino nuggets. It is
to me sounding like it's, uh, it's like your mom's
cooking situation, because I just don't believe in adult picky
eaters as as um as this is describing. I think
(30:30):
there are some, but to me, I think most adults
claim to be picky eaters to avoid having to eat
someone's cooking. And maybe this is the type of guy
who's like, my mom's cooking is like restaurant quality, and
it's like she put like a dash of pepper on
the turkey and called it today. So it's like she
he could be the type of guy who would be
offended by someone my mom's are. My parents are the
(30:52):
same way. Parents don't listen to this. My grandma on
my dad's side, I cannot cook to save her life.
She'd burn the kitchen down. And if my mom were
to say that to my dad, he would like have
to storm out of the house and like go to
the lake and cry. So sometimes to avoid the drama,
you just say, like your picky. So that's what it's
giving to me. I think both of them are immature
(31:13):
and therefore like a little bit of assholes. I don't
know that there's a winner and a loser in this situation. Yeah,
they're all assholes here, Wow, Jason, did you vote? They're
both assholes? All right? Welcome back? All right, Daniella, you've
(31:35):
got a story you want to share. I have a
very good asshole or no asshole story. Let me know.
Hen am I the asshole for making my Thanksgiving guests pay?
And this guy goes, am I the asshole for making
my thanks Giving guests pay for their own entrees. We
live in Florida and my mother and Stepdad are driving
(31:58):
down from Michigan to visit it. We have an idea
to do lobster instead of a traditional turkey for the meal.
The cost of lobster right, but the cost of lobster
being quite high, we thought it would be great to
have a bring your own lobster theme, meaning guests would
prepay for their own live lobster that I will pick
(32:19):
up on Thanksgiving Day. I will only pick up the
amount of lobster that are prepaid. Pause. That doesn't feel
like Thanksgiving that. Yeah, this this also feels like the
friend who's like, hey, let's all go on vacation together,
(32:39):
Like I'm gonna pick a five star resort in the Maldives,
and like I can afford it, Like, but you guys
also got to go pay, Like can you guys? You
guys can do that, right, Everybody cool with that? Cool? Okay,
So I'm having a wedding, but I can't pay for it,
and I would like everyone to pay to come to
my wedding. That's what it sounds like too. So if
(33:00):
he's already getting into the thick of it, why are
you making this like a classy, bougie thing. It feels
like no one wants this. Yeah, and also, are you
gonna like, like, sorry, three out of the four of
you paid for lobsters. I'm going to pick up the
three lobsters and whoever the fourth person like, you're just
not gonna I'll give you a craw dad or two
(33:22):
you eat the dog? Yeah? What the hell? Um, all right,
let me finish, he goes. My mom, who is more traditional,
is quite frustrated that she will be traveling all the
way to Florida and still has to pay for her
own food. I'm with Mom. She said she would rather
have turkey stuffing and green bean casserole. My wife's family, though,
(33:47):
is very excited about the idea, but not my mom
and stepdad. I'm concerned this is coming off more selfish
and not the fun shellfish dinner I was hoping for.
Oh I see what he did. More more selfish, not shellfish. Yeah. Yeah,
I mean here's the thing. You don't go. You don't
(34:08):
throw a party at a club and get bottle service
and invite all of your friends to your party and
then be like, oh um, I'm gonna actually have to
charge you per shot. I'm sorry, we're doing an insanely extravagant,
expensive thing that I want to do, but I also
know that it's out of my price range. So I'm
(34:30):
just gonna make it your problem. Come on, dude, asking
your parents to chip in on anything feels weird, Like
just that alone, be like, hey mom, can you venmo
met Bucks? Like can you undo my my what is
it called? Sections? Yeah? Like can you undo my C
(34:53):
section scar? Like what are we talking about? Yeah? Also,
lobster is not the Thanksgiving vibe or they're going to
have to pay per butter dip? You know, Like how
how tedious are we going to get here? Counterpoint though,
I will Yeah, I want to just say this person
(35:14):
didn't ask to be born, so their parents kind of
brought them into this mess, and they feel like they
should be able to charge their parents whatever they want.
He didn't ask to be born. I actually say that
all the time. I've always said that, But I don't know.
Sitting around the Thanksgiving table with like cracking mallets and
(35:37):
crackers and bibbs and just being like just flying butter
shellfish everywhere. I mean, I that sounds good to me.
I just think it's a weird theme. Don't bring up
the theme if like, you're not catering it. And you know,
(35:58):
regular Thanksgiving get a huge turk cut its limbs up
and budget friendly and green bean casserole with Tori and Derek,
they're they're doing a bit much. I feel or do
like a fundraiser for your Thanksgiving meal, you know, like started, Yeah,
(36:20):
crowd fund this lobster Thanksgiving meal. Yeah, we're just something
to strive for. Be like, I want to have a
Thanksgiving lobster meal in the next five years. I better
find a job that can make this happen. Drive lift, dude,
and this economy and this with inflation, lobster prices are
(36:43):
through the roof. I think I'm gonna go ahead and say,
I think this guy is also an asshole for for
like proposing this this idea and then not having the
means to follow to back it up. I agree, I'm
in a second that broke asshole. I agree, definitely an asshole.
(37:04):
No for sure, Um, I think, like, why first of all,
are you picking crustation for Thanksgiving dinner. That's a little
that's like a bizarre choice to begin with. That's like
crustation like a New Year's thing. So like maybe like
pushing them, see if you can save up by that,
and yeah, like if you want to do it, then
you need to be able to like pay for it
in my opinion, if you're inviting people to your house
(37:24):
to do that. So yeah, asshole for me as well.
But it's poor mom is probably like I'm allergic to shellfish.
I just don't want to see and she's taking a
flight just to eat. Selfish with your selfish ass that's
just bring an happy pen and bring your own meal, mema.
Jeezma gon Cracker dentures after one shrimp like it's not
(37:49):
a happy Thanksgiving. Its sounding like, yeah, that sounds rough,
all right, last story, Jason, what do you guys? Take
it home? So am I the asshole for bringing my
significant other to my mom's Thanksgiving dinner despite knowing my
mom doesn't like her? So here's the backstory. Um, in
fifth or sixth grade, there was a girl named Sarah
that made my life absolute hell, to the point where
(38:11):
my mom would still use her as an example of
the stereotypical personification of a spoiled child for years. Needless
to say, my family hated her, and about five months ago,
I moved back to my hometown because I wanted to
live near my dad, who was getting pretty old, and
I want to help him and my mom out. It
sounds like a nice guy so far. Then, by coincidence,
(38:33):
I ran into Sarah at an event and we started
talking about school and other things. She's now a med
school graduate and it's done pretty well for herself. She
apologized for everything she turned her turned herself around. She apologized.
We basically laughed at the dumb, cringe worthy middle school
drama and we ended up spending a night together, and
after some time I took her out on a proper
(38:54):
date and it was amazing. Needless to say, I'm really
happy into her. Can't say this name from my mom though,
So wait one second. We spend the night together, and
then after some time I took her out on a
proper day. Yeah, the order of operations there feels a
little off. Maybe I'm being old fashioned, but it you know,
(39:16):
it's giving, Derek, Yeah, it's giving to me. It's giving
quote unquote nice guy vibes of like, Hey, I just
moved back because my dad's very old. Um, my dad's
suffering from elderly and so I'm so good. You should
definitely look up with me. Kind of giving that vibe
(39:40):
and then I'll take you out to dinner after like
maybe three or four nights of sometimes the heck, okay,
let's give him a chance. So my mom has been
calling her a snake and making snarky comments whenever I
bring her up, saying that people don't change, and she's
gonna double cross me eventually. I just have to wait
(40:02):
and see. I got into an argument with my mom
over this because no matter how much I tell her
that I'm happy in this new relationship, she keeps doing
this and it's starting to piss me off. Then one
time I went out to dinner with my parents and
my mom said I should be with one of my
more attractive friends that I haven't given any other girls
(40:23):
in my hometown a real chance because I'm hanging out
with that snake Sarah. So I don't know what's out there.
Oh my god. So, just to pause for a second,
Mom's kind of coming off a little harsh. Mom's kind
of an asshole. Yeah, Mom is giving a hall. She
(40:44):
said she'll double cross you eventually, Like, are you like
an international spy? Like I feel like Mom's being dramatic,
a little dramatic here. Yeah, double cross they were like
a elementary school. God forbid. She stole an extra glue stick,
Like I feel like Sarah trying to get the codes
to the nuclear devices that you like. Yeah, yeah, Honestly,
(41:09):
I feel like Sarah's misunderstood, like she was the line
leader once and now everyone is making it seem like
it was more than it was. Yes, Sarah goes by
the name Alec Travellian from Double Oh seven Golden. I oh,
just double crossing all over the place, right, That was good? Um,
(41:32):
now let's close it out. Then, yesterday Thanksgiving, I invited
Sarah to join us, as my sister also invited to
her fiance as well. My mom was overall nasty and
rude to her the whole time, and kept giving both
me and her dirty looks and being mean in small ways.
For example, my mom told her to sit in the
back instead of pulling another chair up to the table,
(41:55):
and she made snarky comments about how Sarah was dressed
more than once. After a while, Sarah took me to
the back of the house and asked me if we
could leave, and I did. I said goodbye to everyone,
and so did Sarah, including my mom. Mom called me
afterwards and we argued about it. She blamed everything on
Sarah like always, but genuinely, she hasn't done anything bad.
And I told my mom she should apologize, and she
(42:17):
said she won't. My mom is just being childish. I
don't get it. I mean, I want to know what
other mean things like her mom was like, we're out
of chairs, go sit in the garage. I it's so
weird to me that this grown ass woman, probably in
at least her forties or fifties, like hates a child
(42:38):
like she hates this Sarah as a little kid. She's like,
that's six year old Sarah. We hate her this. Yeah,
she Sarah must have done something that really really triggered
this mom when she was in her youth that she
was like forever like I hate this, I hate this kid.
She's a snake. It would be great if the guy
(42:59):
who wrote is actually doesn't know how much of a
snake Sarah actually is. And the whole time, Sarah was
walking up to the mom just being like, hey, I'm
gonna steal your son, you piece of ship, And then
when the guy would turn around, she was just like,
oh my god, your mom's being so mean to me.
Then I'm also still team Sarah because totally it's also
(43:24):
kind of giving, like mom obsessed with her son, like
doesn't want anyone to steal what's that? What's that? One? Uh?
Scientists that this whole thing is about, you know what
I'm talking about? Yeah? Whoever, Yeah, it sounds like the
mom is like a little obsessed with the son, and
it's like, you're gonna take my child away from me
if you've been hating on her since she was like
seven years old, Like you're a little off, you're a
(43:47):
little bizarre for that. And she didn't really give him
any specific reasons. She just was like she's a snake.
She's gonna double crops, Like she's gonna steal your lunch money.
She's gonna like, I don't know, Polly put gum in
your hair on the back of the bus, Like I
don't know. She's hypothesizing. The other thing is if you
have a child, when you birth them, you have to
understand one day they're going to grow up, they're going
(44:09):
to fall in up with somebody, and they're gonna want
to get married, and you, as the parent, need to
know that. You're going to make the effort to try
to support your child and they're dating whatever, So it
doesn't sound like she's even giving her like the opportunity.
It sounds like every chance she's getting, she's making the
relationships our and then aren't gat question are they married
or they're dating right now? Just dating? So in the
(44:32):
in the case that they end up getting married, now
Mom's made it super awkward for life because you've like
pickpick pick pick pick pick before they're married, and now
the wife has bad blood except now their wives and
or their husband and wife. So it's like, you know,
now it's to be like there's prettier girls in town.
(44:55):
You're the surface level Beyont. Yeah. Also, I'm really cr
just what Sarah did, like and then you know the movie,
um just go with it and they're say taking a Devlin,
like I feel like that was it, but with Sarah,
like it's been years and the guys like balding and
(45:16):
she's like, Sarah, that's such a Sarah moved like that's
from the mom. Yeah, I'm sure like Sarah came over
one time and didn't take her shoes off when she
came in the house, and that mom was like, you're
dead to me, Sarah, You're done just saying, like, my
(45:37):
mom even has people from high school or middle school
that she doesn't like, and like if I'm ever with them,
she'll be like, oh, like she's still weird. I bet,
but she's not like you know, delete that boomerang of
you two. She's disgusting. It's just like, you know, I
don't know, not that die hard. I don't even know.
(45:57):
Wait do we didn't vote on this one yet, did we? No,
I'm gonna I'm gonna vote and say they're not. He
is not the asshole. He's just unless she really is
a snake. She they have a great relationship, and mom's
the asshole. That's my vote. So the question is is
he the asshole for inviting his girlfriend even though his
mom doesn't like her. Yeah, and she's own ass asshole,
(46:25):
Like you're a corona As woman, So she's a g
a a for me, a grown ass asshole. Okay, Well,
I think that's all the time that we have. I
think we learned a lot here today, and I hope
everyone has a really great Thanksgiving and just just a reminder,
you know, don't be an asshole Thanksgiving. It's not that hard.
(46:45):
Like if you're if your son has a girlfriend like,
just just deal with it, don't be don't be an
assholt or what else did we learn? What other takeaways
did we have? What we've learned this call is that
Jason and Jordan will never have dinner at each other's houses,
but me and will will be hosting and attending any
(47:06):
and every dinner party. That's right, I've got a butter
board ready to go. UM my rebuttal. First of all,
I think Jason might be the only person's house that
I would eat at because if he shares my sentiment
about eating at other people's houses, I would presume that
he has a very clean kitchen. So Jason, I'm happy
to come over anytime. Um. And then my takeaway would
(47:28):
be stay out of the year, um, keep your parents
out of your relationships. Um. And that if you if
your girlfriend find new boyfriend, and then you should take
her old boyfriend and move to the suburbs of Vermont
and started a co opt. That's my takeaways. And I
(47:49):
think I've learned that people are like seasons. We change
baby wow and Donna uplifting now. And lastly, I'll just
say also, just compromise a lot of these A lot
of these situations are just because people aren't willing to compromise.
So like, look, the holiday, it's it's a lot of family,
it's it's a lot about compromise. So just like just
(48:11):
try and meet everybody halfway and with some grace and
some humility. That's all I got to say. Thanks for
listening to Hashtag story Time season four. We'll be coming
at you early next year, and we've got some really
top notch guests like Adam pally Right or Strong and
Lucky Yates, so make sure you subscribe so you don't
(48:33):
miss a single episode. As always, we'd love to hear
your stories, so give the Storytime hotline a call at
three to three seven four one three and tell us
about your shittiest holiday experience. If you love Reddit stories
like these, make sure you follow us on I G
and TikTok links in the description. Finally, I'd just like
(48:54):
to say how grateful I am for each and every
one of you fable babies out there listening and sharing.
I hope you all have magical holiday season filled with love, laughter,
and his few interactions with assholes as possible. Hashtag Storytime
is produced by I Heart Radio and Curativity, hosted by
Will McFadden, Produced by Jason Shapiro, Jordan Elijah Michael, daniel
Le Mora and Will McFadden. Original music by Scott Simmons.
Host
Will McFadden
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