March 29, 2023 • 43 mins
In this episode of #Storytime with Will McFadden, creator Lonnie Marts regales Will with a hilarious tale of his adventures sneaking into Playlist Live, the annual convention for digital creators and their fans.
But this isn't just a story about sneaking into a convention - it's also a story about the lengths that we'll go to pursue our passions and achieve our dreams. Lonnie's determination and resourcefulness are truly inspiring, and his story is a reminder that anything is possible if you're willing to work hard and think outside the box.
So sit back, relax, and prepare to be entertained by Lonnie's hilarious antics. And don't forget to follow him on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube for more stories and content that are sure to brighten up your day. You won't want to miss a single moment of the fun!
NOTE: Like I promised last week, I actually let A.I. write this one. What do you think? Email us at storytime@collab.inc and let us know.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
As I walked in. It's literally just like like a
two hundred kids, maybe three hundred kids in a lobby
sprinting around like trying to tackle their favorite content creators,
and the content creers like, oh no, I'm being chased
by my fans, and it's like, okay, that's what this is.
(00:35):
Sometimes there's an event that you would do anything to
get into, like Coachella if you're into music, or the
met Gala if you're into fashion, or a secret underground
screening of the butthole cut of the movie Cats if
you're into Cats. But the only thing that's better than
getting invited to these exclusive events is successfully sneaking in.
(00:57):
And people come up with some pretty clever schemes to
smuggle themselves into these parties. Now that I would know
as a straight cisgender white man with a mustache, I
pretty much just walk into any place without anyone batting
an eye, which is a problem. Now. My friend Lonnie
March knows a thing or two about sneaking into an event.
Lonnie is a twenty seven year old actor, content creator,
and former Storytime guest checkout season three, episode four, and
(01:20):
he's best known for his God and Gabriel's sketches on
TikTok and Lonnie's got a great story about the lengths
he went to to sneak into the biggest social media
convention in all of Orlando. I'm your host, will catch
me if you can McFadden And this is hashtag storytime
brought to you by iHeartRadio. Do you do you have
a story that you'd like to share with me? I
(01:41):
do have a story about the time I snuck into Playlist.
Oh yeah, um, were you at Playlist twenty twenty? I've
been at so many playlists. Yeah, Playlist twenty twenty was
the last trip that I went on before, right, Yeah,
I remember we were we were flying there and like
when we were flying back, especially like everyone was just
(02:04):
wiping down their seats and purelling everything. We were like,
I don't know how to do. What do we do? Uh?
Just we didn't have masks yet. It's a bug. There's
a bug. They heard there's a bug. It was bad
because like walking through that lobby plays I mean, I'm
from Florida, so I like what happened was I had
just gotten I had like just gone viral like in
January and blown up to a couple million followers as
(02:26):
it was so new, and I'm like, wow, I'm a
real life content creator. Now I have to go to
the playlist you know, I used It's my birth Right.
Oh you went to British. I thought you were doing
Owen Wilson for a second, like one Wilson. I don't
know if it's British, it's just yours. It's like the
or just a kid on the playground who doesn't have
all his teeth in yet. Um so I go to
from Tom's. Yeah, I blew up on the internet. And
(02:49):
then yeah, I had blown up on the Internet. And
then I thought myself, I had to go to my
own mosh. I play my birth Right, my trip Mecca.
Have to do my mecca, um, which is playlist But
what happened was well, for those of you who are
listening who aren't familiar with Playlist Live, Playlist Live is
it's It's there's two major social media conventions that happen.
(03:09):
There's Vidcan, which is on the West Coast. It happens
in Anaheim, which just just happened. We we were just
hanging out there. And then Playlist Live. They used to
do them in a couple of different areas, but the
main playlist live is in Orlando, Florida. Yeah, and it
is a massive social media convention where thousands and thousands
of fans descend upon the Orlando Marriott Sin. They descend
(03:31):
like a sin like locusts. Well, it's fans and people
who wish they were invited. And then also and then
also uh, disgruntled mothers who just sit at the ball.
Oh my god. There cigarette that was. That was a
pivotal part. So so so I had just gone borrow
from my series God and Gabriel super fun um, and
(03:52):
I think I had just kind of started working with
Collab and I was like, hey, Collab, now then I'm famous.
Can you guys like get me into playlist? And you
guys were like, yeah, no, it's super closed like that.
You needed that like six months ago. And I'm like okay, um,
they're like, can't do anything to help you. I'm like,
that's understandable. I get a lot. You should have reached
out to me directly. I would have been like, I
(04:12):
should have sate my guy. Yeah, I will get your
wrist bands. I will sneak I'm all about sneaking people
into stuff. So I would have good. Well then this
is so this is what I did. So I was
I was a little I was like, well, guys, I'm famous.
I have to go to Playlist, like I'm now at
that caliber. They just they would have gotten me, and
they just didn't have the tickets. So I'm like, I'll
just do it myself. I'll just get myself in so
(04:35):
I know I'll do it. Yeahself, I'll do it myself.
So here's what I did. Um, because I was in Jacksonville, Florida,
home of the Jacksonville Jaguars. Like that's a two hour drive.
I'll drive down there, and my buddy he's like like,
do you want to go to Playlist? He's like you
have tickets. I'm like, no, do you want to go
to Playlist? And he's like yeah. And so we get
our both our chaotic good brains together, maybe just chaotic
(04:55):
at this point, and we're like, how are we gonna
do this? And I'm like, we show up to the
Playlist hotel, which, mind you, I don't know what I
was thinking about as I walked in. It's literally just
like like a two hundred kids, maybe three hundred kids
in a lobby sprinting around like trying to tackle their
favorite content creators, and the content cres like oh no,
I'm being chased by my fans, and it's like, okay,
(05:18):
that's what this is. And I think there might have
been one stage in a conference room or like Charlie
Damilia was maybe talking. But I didn't see any educational
panels at all when I was there, like an industry
day where like, you know, all the boring panels happen.
I guess so, and I don't know. So it was nighttime.
I was walking by. I was seeing like Gabe Irwin, like,
go to sleep, guy, you've been strolling up for quite
(05:39):
a while. I saw Gabe, like Brent Riviera, and I'm
just like, oh wow, they're just here. This is crazy.
It's my first kind of real exposure and I'm like,
I absolutely need to be here. I need to be
in this. I have to get into. I didn't even
know it. I guess just a back state. I didn't
have a pass, and I'm like, I don't have a pass.
I don't know what I can't do because I don't
know what people are doing here besides standing around the lobby.
But I have to get in. So I look at
(06:00):
my friend, I said, Hey, we're gonna sneak in to
the back rooms, like the lounge areas, okay, and he
had just gotten off of work. There's like a whole
underbelly of the Marriott where all the creators travel. And
then yeah, there's like some like set aside green rooms
for feature creators to kind of help keep them separate
and have them like a safe space for them to
gather where the fans aren't just clawing at them apparently.
(06:24):
So I'm like, I'm gonna get into those spaces because
I'm a good creator, and this is where this is
where the journey begins. My friend, he had just gotten
off of work and he was working at a bank,
and I'm like, this is perfect. This is absolutely perfect.
You look like you could work here, and that is
all I need. So he's like Oceans eleven, but it's
just oceans too, just oceans because we're stupid, And I'm like, okay,
(06:47):
this is we're gonna do. Man. You are gonna go
over to where all those tired, anxious moms are who
are drinking their wine, and you're gonna start picking up
their wine glasses and you're gonna take one of those
trays and you're gonna start collecting and say, hey, can
I get you anything else? Can I help you with that?
Start cleaning off those tables? Okay, He's like, why am
I doing them? Like, trust me, you can set up
the foundation here, trust me, brother, And so he goes.
(07:08):
He's like, all right, I'll trust you. And so fortunately
he was in theater, yes, the ass the theater. So
he does a great job, puts on a great performance,
walks over there. It's like, man, he looks so tired.
I hope you're having a good time as your kid
and a good so great starting like grabs a random tray.
Like the people who actually work, they are like more help,
I don't care whatever, you know, they're just annoyed. So
he picks it up. He grabs all these glasses and
stuff like that in his hands, and he's like, I'm Mike.
(07:28):
He comes back to me. He's like, what do I
do now? I'm like, now, you see those two guards
over there at that door, You're gonna walk right past
them and go right into the lounge area and then
we're in. We're in, baby, We're in the clear. And
he's like that, he's exacts. It's not gonna work. I'm like,
it's gonna work. Go up to it, and he's like,
I'm not so sure. I'm like, okay, okay, okay, here here, here,
tell them Zach from the Kitchen sent you. It's gonna work.
(07:51):
Every time, anytime somebody is like, oh so and so
I don't know from somewhere. If they're from somewhere, it
adds more validity. I'm like, that's that's a name I
don't know in a play I'm unfamiliar with. So I'm
he's like, Okay, I'm gonna give it a try. And
so he's going up to go do it and thank
god at the same time because I'm like, it might
not work. He might just get kicked out. This horde
of girls comes chasing after Brita Riveria or something like that, like,
(08:13):
and so they like crowd up the security area as
he's about to go through, and so he's like able
to sneak by, and I'm like, okay, perbe he didn't
have to use the thing. But one of the security
guards like, seas hey, stop, stop, stop, where are you going?
Where are you going? And I'm like, oh, almost no.
He I was standing back at this, but He caught
my friend right as he tried to sneak by at
the same time as the girls in the crowd on
(08:33):
all the commotion. He's like, where are you going? And
he's like, oh, Ken from the kitchen sent me. And
I'm like, that's not even what I said to say.
I said up and the guy's like, yeah, okay, go
just go, just go, and I'm like it have walked,
it walked And he's back there. He like he starts
walk around and I'm like, yes, yes, wait, I'm not
back there. Does this help you? I'm not back there? What?
(08:58):
And so I call I said, hey, I didn't think
this all the way through. Come back out, come back out,
And so he comes back out and I'm like, okay,
plan too. This is how I'm going to get back there.
Now this works. We know that security guards can be
like tricked deceived. This is totally gonna work. Also then,
just for context to the security guards at Playlist are
like mad with power. They're all like they have no
information as to like no information, they never pass goes
(09:20):
where or what wristband means what, And they're all just
like I am blocking the store and nobody gets by it.
So They're like they're a stone wall. It's it is.
They don't know what they're doing. They've just been told
something by Larry up in the tower, and I don't
know who that is, but it sounds like somebody who'd
be telling them things. And this is where we got
This is how we got kicked out. So I have
to realize that we both needed to get through. I'm like,
(09:40):
new plan, time time to take over the world. And
there's I see everybody walking by with their badges, right,
it's when the plan hatches. I'm like, oh, I'll just
make my own. And so I'm like, okay, so this
is where it was stupid. I'm like, yeah, but this
is what this is the mistake I made. So as
everybody was walking by, I'm like, I gotta be slying.
(10:02):
Get a picture of somebody somebody's bad so I can
like recreate it. I have some photoshop skills. I got
a photo, I got like Photoshop whatever photoshop version. Like
in two thousand and six, whenever YouTube was just coming out,
and I was like, yeah, internet making photos. You know,
I didn't make the banners and thumbnails for people on
forums and stupid stuff like that. So I have skill
is what I'm saying, Yeah, you do. Some lady was
walking by and I saw her all access badge, like
(10:23):
that's the one snapped a picture and then I'm like perfect.
So we go back to his house that night. I'm
staying up in bed until three am, looking cross orfencing
the picture, putting everything together in photoshop, like adding little lines,
adding my name. I'm like, oh, and I'll even do
like Marx Media LLC. So I look official. And then
fortunately he was. He was how do I say the
(10:45):
badges were done right? But we needed to print them
somewhere and laminate them, yeah, because they're all laminated or whatever,
and fortunately he was. Um. He was flirting with the
with the leasing office, the head of the leasing office,
as as his apartment complex. Next morning, it was like
the last day of playlist. We go over there and
I'm like, can you get us a can you like
get her to let us laminate this stuff. He's like,
(11:05):
I'll put on my charm. I'll do what I have
to do for a playlist. So we go in there,
he's like flirting with them. I'm like in the back,
like trying to laminate everything. And then she's like, you
can use the laminator. It's fine. It's like we don't.
It's you can. You don't have to sneak around. I'm like, okay,
do you have any lanyards? And she gives us like
a Disney World lanyard and then like a Kinko's lanyard,
and I don't even know what the Playlist's actual lanyards where.
I'm like, it's gonna have to work. We cut it
out and the badges look good. It looks like a replica.
(11:28):
And I'm like, look a picture. I have the picture
of Oh do I have the picture of it? I
have the picture of the bag. Would never I would
keep that forever. I don't. I think it fell apart.
So so we get done up. We're like sitting in
the car on the way there. We're like, oh, we're
a playlist. We're official. I'm an official creator. Now Here
we go and this is how we got this is
(11:48):
where I went bad. So we get to the parking
lot and the first guard we're like, I'm like, I haven't.
I'm trying to like to be subtle about it, but
I'm also trying to make sure they see that I
have a badge, you know. So like the first guy
in the parking lot, I like, in like this the
Creator only area he's guarding. We walk up and we're
like flashing our badges and it's like nighttime and it's
kind of dark. He like looks and gave us off.
I'm like, oh, buddy, buddy, we're in this now. This
(12:10):
is what this is how you defeat capitalism. This is
how you defeat capitalism. You steal from the rich and
you make your own products, you know. And so we
can up to the stairs going up into the massive
like the hotel or whatever from the Creator side mind you,
and then we're about to walk by another Curity guy.
He says, hey, boys, come come on, come on, come
over here, come over here real quick. And I'm like,
what's the problem. Officer like, what's going on? What's what's happening?
(12:32):
A special Creator Only update, and he like grabs both
of our badges. He grabs both of our badges as hey,
i's gotta put hands on these because some people have
been making fake badges, so they're requiring us to touch
all of these before we let anybody in. You guys
(12:52):
have a good time, go have fun. What I'm like,
of course, sir, of course, my buddy is crapped himself.
At his point, he's like the single bead of sweat
running down and I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
there's no way he knew. These are mint. They're perfect,
like exact copies are laminated, we have lanyards, they're fine.
(13:13):
There's no way he knew. He's just doing his job.
These are perfect. And so we get inside and I
realized this is where we left up and probably why
he called us out and was being so kind to
not kick us out. The picture I took was of
a woman who was like four feet tall, so on
her the badge looked very big. So I made my
badge about the size of a sheet of paper. Everybody
(13:34):
else's playlist badge was the size of a credit card. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
there's they're definitely the perspective was off. The perspective was off.
It's like I was in motion when I took that picture,
and that's where I messed up. And to make it
even worse, because it's a photo not a video, I
didn't know that it was double that it was double sided.
Oh yeah, definitely knew. Could you flip that badge over
(13:56):
real quick? I supposed to what the back looks like.
I'm like, this is what I'm panicking, Like, we come
so far, it's the last day. We did all that work.
You had to flirt and snoo snow with the leasing
office lady to get these laminated. We have to do this.
We have to see if it'll let us in the back.
And so he's like, I don't know, man, this looks
really stupid. Like we're saying he were like a poster
on our chest and everybody else has like the sides
(14:16):
of the credit card, Like we're dumb. We're we're like
super featured creators, like exactly meat creators and or they're
like we're like we're cause playing. We're gonna this is
our cost, but we're creators, cosplaying creators, that's all this is.
And so I'm like, we're just gonna, We're just gonna try,
And by we, I mean him again, because I realize
that I am too scared to get in trouble because
(14:36):
like Josh, if I get kicked out, I can't come back.
So you have to do it for us. And he's like,
what am I supposed to do? I'm like, just kind
of cover it with your arms, and it would be fine,
just kind of like say as you know and show
it a little bit, but then keep like your arms
like you're just just you're annoyed, you're just grawntiled the
full access bad. You're fine. Yeah, you've got somewhere to be,
(14:58):
you know what I mean, Like I don't handle I
don't have to time to show you my past. You know,
I've got a panel to be on. Like I said,
this is where we messed up. But if anybody's listening,
if you're on the phone, people are way less likely
to stop you, and especially if you're an intense conversation.
This is like real espionage hacks here, I'm giving out
for free. Yeah. But I'm like, Josh, I'm just standing
in the lobby with my like posterboard posterboard padge And
(15:19):
he is like, I'm like, hey, buddy, just go see
see if you just flash it and get by and
then call me and if it works, I'm gonna come
right behind you. It's gonna work. It's fine, you know,
as long as no other secuity guards like grabbing him
clipping over our badges were fine. So we go back
to the same VIP area that security guard is there
or whatever. Now Josh has like normal like creator clothes on.
He doesn't look like he's like working at a bank.
So he like is able to just like flash the
(15:40):
badge and go right in. And I'm like, it's still worked.
It's still worked. This is perfect. We're smart. You got this.
It's the confidence that will work every time. It's the confidence,
and that's what I learned here. So I'm like, I'm
about to go back there. I call and said her,
are you in? Are you okay? What's up? He's like,
were There's some areas that you need wristbands get into,
but I'm in the general areas. I can just kind
of go in and stuff like that. So coming in
(16:01):
like five minutes, he's like, I'm renegading right now with
Addison Ray Like we're exactly just doing the Renegade with
Addison and Charlie, And so I'm about to go back then,
I'm like, we've done it. I'm an official creator. And
then he calls me back and says, they kicked me out,
And I said, how what do you mean that? Who
would kick you out? You had the badge? You're good.
He's like, some schmuck came up to me. Some random
(16:23):
guy was like, oh, hey, buddy, where'd you get that badge?
And he's like, oh, don't worry about don't worry about that.
It's mine. I got it. I got it from me.
And the guy's like no, no, no no, let me see
it and like grabs the badge and flips it over
and starts yelling this guy's got a fake badge. He's
got a fake badge. And I'm like, who, who are you?
Why are you living in life? And joy like in
(16:44):
the security guard he's like he's like in Josh like.
The security guard was like, nah, dude, I knew it
was fake. I wasn't about to kick you out, but
once that guy said something, I had to. And I'm like,
I worked so hard on the I sit up to
like three amm like working on these they were perfect
except where they weren't. And so he got kicked out.
At that point, I'm like, well, I can't risk my career.
I'm just gonna go ahead and meet him outside. So
(17:05):
then we left outside. But I bowed that the next
time I went to one of these conferences I would
be invited. Unfortunately, at big Con last week, I was
invited as as a guest and a speaker on one
of the panels for Meta and I did not have
to make a fake badge. And that's good because those
would have been very difficult to replicate because they were
like hardboard, double sided and like laminated on one side
and like rough on the other. I'm like, oh, they're
getting good, So I gotta father technique. You can have
(17:28):
start a whole business of fake fake badges, fake pass dude.
The The ultimate would have been if you got in
with the fake badge and then just walked on stage
for a panel like that, you had no idea. Imagine.
Stop giving me ideas because next year a big con
I might, but imagine with the confidence, Oh my god. Yeah,
it's like, oh and we uh here we are the
(17:49):
Beauty on Budget panel. Yeah, Lonnie, I ivy um going.
When are we opening up the flour for questions? And
thank you Karen? Yeah you're moderating now. Yeah, It's like,
I'm gonna tackle this one first. So when it comes
to beauty, it's all about the external factors. Um, the
(18:09):
inside does not matter. As long as you look good
on the outside. That's where true validation comes from. Good
question Mike dropped, does anybody else want to touch on
that best? Just such an honest panel. Really, we are
in Los Angeles, California, and I'm gonna be honest with you.
(18:31):
If you are not pretty, you will not have privileges.
So okay, so next question. I feel good about that. Yeah,
good question, good question. So wait, are you going to
Playlist Live this year? Absolutely? And if they don't invite
me back, I'm repeating the process. I am absolutely making
another badge. It's something about the challenge and the thrill.
I hope one day the CIA hires me from my
(18:52):
skills h and they're like, you know, Lonnie, we saw
what you did at least we think you got. We
think you got Gusto kid. We like what you did
at Playlists, how you made those badges and were too
scared to use them. Your mediocre photoshop skills aside the
way that you the way that you use your friend
(19:13):
as a shield and test and test guinea pig, we
think we got a butt for you on the force.
How about you come do some training at Quantico. You know,
your sticktuitiveness really showed through and whatever. You bailed out
twice because your plan looked like it might not work.
Perfect Operation playlist. Can you also make passes for my
fourteen year old daughter. My daughter's been trying to get
(19:34):
in there for a while. She really wants to meet
Charlie and Dickson. If you could please help us out.
We got you a spot on the force. Well, mister President,
I think I can do that. I would be like,
that's a hard pass for me. It was I don't know,
I don't know something about like whenever I was in
like middle school, I always loved like breaking onto the
roofs of buildings. So I just like different bandage point.
(19:58):
I don't know, it's like, oh, STI like, I would
never lock pick because I can't. I'm not I'm skilled.
I don't know how to do that. I would just
hope the door was open. I've thought about that often
of like I need to just learn how to lock pick,
because so often I get to a lock door and
I'm like, ah, shocks. But if I would have the
guy with the kid, and it's like, can't be that hard,
I mean, I think, because I mean, like there's so
(20:19):
many rooftops I haven't been able to access because of
a simple lock, and security is merely an illusion and
all can be all can be overcome and like navigated
through with the proper like sticktuitiveness, determination or proper set
of skills. And um, I like to think that is
what's made me the creator I am today. And do
you see those channels too, the like lock picking channels,
Like so I gets I get in a black hole
(20:41):
of those, Like I had a friend who actually snuck
into them. I think it was the um the logan
paul KSI fight by making a fake badge and I'm like,
that's that's a lot one of my friends got. He
got Actually, I think this is the same dude. He
got a warrant out for his arrest and didn't get
arrested till a year later. I mean, because that's Vegas,
(21:03):
Like you're sneaking in because that one was that one
in Vegas or was it in London? I think it
was Vegas. But it's like, I don't recommend doing these things.
That's my disclaimer. Um, because he got a warrant and
didn't think anything of it, but then got arrested in
a separate state like a year later. Yes, And I'm like, UFC,
(21:25):
don't play. But I'm like, okay, noted because he posted
about it. He posted and went viral, so they're like, okay, cool,
we'll find you. That's where he fucked up. I guess
I keep it to yourself, Like that's what I'm saying, like,
just if if you get kicked out, it's like, my
name is my name is Morgan. Morgan's for the people
and you I'm never coming Sorry. You know, I made
(21:45):
an honest mistake. I was looking for my wife, I said, I,
like I always said, don't tell anyone about you know
this as we're doing a podcast where you're telling everyone's
name is to remain unnamed. No, no, but I'm saying
your experience, like, oh but you got caught, you got
kicked out, you didn't get arrested, everything was fine. Yeah,
and I we're coming back. We're going back to playlists
exactly what I'm gonna invited this time. And I won't
(22:06):
have to make a fake badger. Maybe I'll make a
fake badge just to see if I can do it,
you know, just to test my abilities. Yeah, yeah, but
I I don't know something about just like sneaking into
places just to see if you can. Like that social
engineering bit is a fun piece too, but definitely there
are risks involved, and you can go to prison. Good. Yeah,
it's a moral of the story. That's the moral of
(22:27):
the story. Follow your dreams and know that you can't
go to prison. Yeah, and walk walk swiftly with let's review.
Let's review the key takeaways. Confidence is key. Yes. Whenever
Josh had his outfit on and started picking up the
drinks from the moms and just kind of walked by
and said, Kenny from the kitchen sent me the security
guard is like the confidence was matched. Also, dress the part.
(22:50):
Dress the part. Give them less reasons to question you
and less reasons to notice you. All right, Um, rely
on the skills you do have. I am a charmer,
so if I really need to too, I could have
charmed the pants off those security gardens. Has been anywhere,
but I just chose not to. Um. Josh had experienced
in the theater, so he acted confidence. Um. And the
last tip is phone. Yeah, fake the phone call. Fake
(23:14):
the phone call, you know, and just keep on walking.
Fake the phone call, keep walking. Do all these things
and you can get in anywhere. I think. Also, if
you have a ladder, that'll do it to ladders are
letters are a key. Nobody wants to stop to you.
In fact, they want to help you. They want to
get the four for you, and basic photoshopping skills too.
That is a requirement. And if you're a hacker. I
(23:34):
actually called up one of my buddies who's a hacker.
I'm like, can you get me? Like, can you hack
the list? He's like, what do you mean hack the list?
He's I'm like, can you like get into the database
or something. He's like, it's probably just a Google Drive sheet.
I'm like, hack it, damn it. I don't get into
the main frame, darts, hack it. Just get me through
the firewall. He's like, I don't want to know how
you hack it. I don't care how you do it.
(23:55):
Just do it. You just should go full Jack bower
Tony exactly like you. So yeah, those are the morals
of my story. It was a good time. Ten out
of ten would do it again. I love it. We've
been doing another little little mini segment that I'd love
to run by you and see if you want to participate.
(24:17):
But it's it's a little storytelling game. It's called first, Last, Best, Worst,
and so we pick a category and then you briefly
tell us what your first experience, was your last experience?
Was your best experience and your worst experience? What was
the first vacation you remember going on? Oh my god,
the first vacation I remember going on, Um was on
(24:39):
the Disney cruise. Actually it was yeah, and oh I
don't know. Yeah, yeah, well it was like six months ago,
so six maybe it was awesome. I couldn't even get
into the kiddie pool. What's up with that? He made
a fake lamb in it to get in the kiddie pool. Yeah,
I am a I am a child. I am a
(24:59):
baby walking with confidence on them on my baby. Sorry,
I'm trying to get into the kiddie pool. I'm your
security guard won't let me. I'm a child. Look at
my badge. Um, like, sir, did you steal that wristband
from a child? I said, I'm a child. What do
you mean four year old going on a Disney cruise? Dude? Okay,
So these are the things I remember. Um. They say
you don't remember things after the age of three, and
(25:21):
I was four or five and barely remember things. But
I remember they had ice cream all you can eat
ice cream by the pool side with sprinkles and that
just that was like that was like, oh wow, so
this is what living is. Yeah, that's that's core memory
right there. This is why, this is what life's all about.
Like some people grew up with trauma, I was fortunate
(25:43):
to grow up thinking about's the next time I'm gonna
get to go to the the pool side at the Disney
Cruising get some like sprinkles with ice cream and sprinkles. Um.
There was a giant There was a giant slide, which honestly,
the slide is probably maybe one story high, but obviously
it was a massive slide in a massive pool to
a four year old, and it had Mickey Mouse's face
at the bottom of it, and I thought it was
a giant pool, okay, And it was probably just like
(26:05):
an inflatable tub on the deck, who knows, but it
was a beautiful um. We went off, We went to
one of the beaches, I guess or whatever, and I
just think remember floating away. It's like, as a kid,
everything is way more dramatic than it really was. But
I think I remember floating away from the shoreline in
an inner tube and like sharks swimming underneath me, when
in reality it is probably like some minnows And I
was like a foot away from the from the beach
or whatever. But it was a lot of I think
(26:27):
we saw Tarzan. Maybe Tarzan had just come out or
something like that. They showed him on the Disney movie
Super Cool the movie, yeah, or like I like he
swung in onto the cruise the movie just the movie.
If he was there, I don't remember seeing him, but
I remember seeing the Tarzan movie and Phil Collins going
hard in that sounds like there was so much cool stuff.
And I actually haven't been back since, which makes me
very sad, but that was probably the I think that
(26:49):
was a first vacation I went on. All right, that's
a that's a solid first vaca. Very hard to compare.
Everything whenever you're a child in ignorance is bliss and
you don't realize that the Kidi Pool year and it's
probably filled with urine, just unlimited for you with sprinkles. Yeah,
so because that's all I needed. That's honestly, as a kid,
Why didn't that kill us? Like that? Kids are resilient? Man,
Like like that shi all the ice cream, I ate
(27:10):
should kill a child, but it didn't. I was just like, yeah,
rally bag puke and rally let's go baby day two
at the pool, Like, can I put some chocolate sprinkles
on it? This time my last vacation. Ah, what conscert
is a vacation? I went to, I went to I
(27:30):
went to I went to New York for like twenty
four hours. I saw that. I saw a video that
you posted that one. Um. The gross thing. The thing
I didn't realize about New York is that every Airbnb
in New York, if you're in like Manhattan, that area,
like our airbnb was it slept eight people and had
one bathroom. Oh my god. Yeah, I mean it's space
(27:52):
is a commodity in New York. So I get that.
I get that, But why is toilet's a commodity too?
A commodity a commode? Come mode? Um? We went to go.
It was the premiere of The Boys season three, which
is the first time UM and season three episode one
it hits hard I did. I was just like, oh,
this is this is what it is happening. Yeah, he
(28:14):
is a kind of blown up. It is Genitalia is
on the stream. Um, but I love news. I realized,
I like really like New York because you could walk
out of your building and find like whatever you need,
so you can just like drop like walk out. It's
like boom over here is like a lady who's like
naked on crack and like gonna sell you some Tarot cards.
Get it over there. It's like a library. Um, and
(28:34):
it's super fun. Like it's like, oh, the Dichotomy of
Man and that's super fun. Like the rats are cute.
I kind of like the rats. Yeah, it's like, oh,
that's a big Like, Oh, he's brought me a slice
of pizza and the black plague. How sweet of him. Um.
I got lost on the subway system. Oh yeah, got
on the way to the airport. Everything Like. I like
(28:55):
that you can just use your Apple pay to get
on the subway though, that's kind of cradd that it
caused like two dollars or something something like. That's fine.
You can be out in the city kind of at
any time and night. It feels like and you're probably
not going to get stabbed depending on where you go. Um.
But that was the last one I took, um so
quick twenty four hour New York trip. Okay, what was
the what was the best vacation? That's vacation was my
(29:17):
senior trip our class president convinced us that we should
go on our senior cruise. And so again, cruises are
a common thing with me, Royal Caribbean, what's up? Or
Disney Cruise. But it was like I went to a school.
First of all, we had one hundred kids in our
high school fourteen and my graduating class small private Christian
school woohoo and fourteen. So we're all like, yeah, we're
(29:40):
gonna be hanging out. You know, it's just us. If
someone's missing, bull no, and if two people are missing,
you guys are definitely hooking up. Um, like we know
where you are, Like it's not that hard to guess
what's happening wherever. But that was fantastic. Yeah, after the
long football season, I did football. Football season's done, went
to the playoffs. It's like, you know what school, high
school has done? My year of like mandatory schooling are
(30:01):
done with my skip, I'm no longer a truant. And
so it's like the perfect way to celebrate that is
a cruise. So we went to Cosmo. When scuba diving
out there, rising scuba diving is kind of hard, you
have to hold your breath. Not for me, why not?
What's up? I generally, it's kind of don't like the
ocean as a whoa, stop, don't say that thing. You know,
it's it's a lot, it's it is a lot of planet.
(30:24):
It's like, and I'm just not a great swimmer. I'm
a land mammal. Okay, I'm great on land. It's just
you get me in the water. I'm like, what are
some of your best land skills? Box jumps? Jumps? You
can't do box jumps in the water. Cannot That's that's
the thing. Uh uh. Rowing but just rowing on land,
(30:44):
like using the rowing machine. I'm a good rope but
I don't like to do it on the ocean, on
the water, on the wet I just don't like not
knowing what's beneath me. And it's are you scared of whales?
Uh No, not really. I did go not Scooba snorkeling
in Belize and there were whale sharks and I swim
with whale sharks and that's so cool. It was really cool.
(31:05):
But just in general, I just don't like being I
feel like it's I'm just out of my element, you
know what I mean. It feels like it feels like
outer space, you know. Yeah, But worse, nothing swimming above
you or beside you or underneath you in outer space exactly,
and they can't just change direction and eat you. I
can also kind of pinpoint where it went wrong. I was.
I was surfing in Costa Rica when I was like
(31:27):
eighteen years old, and we were right where the leatherback
turtles mate. And leatherback turtles are six foot sea turtles.
They're freaking dinosaurs. They're massive, and one I was like
enjoying sunset and like, oh, what a beautiful view, and
then one came up right next to my board with
its mouth a gape. And you've ever looked inside the
mouth of a leatherback turtle, it is a nightmare's nightmare.
(31:49):
Fuel They eat jellyfish, so it's all spiny and crazy.
And that thing came up right next to my leg
and I was like, I fucking paddled faster than I've
piddle in my life. That's when you were done. And
then I was like, yeah, fuck the ocean. I was
like that place. Actually, honestly, I would agree if that
happened to me, I'd probably like, yeah, we're good, We're good.
(32:10):
I was probably trying to eat you. It's another core memory.
I think he was just saying hi. He was just
like He's like, yeah, but I was. Then You're like
it looked like a dinosaur. It was especially out of
nowhere too, like you're just peacefully enjoying it, and yeah,
there's such a serene, beautiful moment, just like he's like,
I would like to enjoy as well. Hey that's not
(32:31):
so fun fair enough. Yeah, so the cruise was fun
Cosmo scuba diving. Um. One of my friends confessed her
love for me and I rejected it, and then we
were still stuck on a boat with each two days.
I'm like, why would you not do this on the
last day? Like, why would you do this midway through?
(32:53):
She was like maybe there wasn't because if you were
into it, you would have been like why didn't you
do this on the first day? Absolutely, so yeah, maybe
she shot for the middle. You know, I guess staphysically speaking,
she picked a good it was a good option, yeah,
But statisically speaking, I feel like there could have been
(33:14):
other options, like maybe should have gathered more stats first, Yeah, absolutely,
a little reconnaissance. More overall, the there's fourteen of you
in class, Like, you guys haven't figured out over the year.
You could do the recon. You could ask anybody literally, wait,
do you think I don't think so. You're like, I'm
(33:37):
in the middle of some fro yo and sprinkles. I
got my sprinkles and frolio. I'm really living my chaha memory.
Will you talk about loves before right now? You know?
Not the time? Yeah? No, not the tom I'm in
between the mamma yo sprinkles. Um weird weird weird flex.
I won the U the karaoke competition on a Princess cruise. Congratulations.
(33:59):
I was the Princess Karaoke King. Yep, Princess Karaoke King,
and I sang h lean on me and all the
old folks were just like for the rest of the trip,
We're just like King Karaoke. Voted for you. I voted
(34:22):
for you. I knew you had something special. Mcfannin thanks Herb, Yeah,
you could call me her. But we were the only
my girlfriend and I were the only two young people
on the cruise, and everyone was just like, look at
you too, Oh, come on, I love you. Guys are
outliving your life because no, because no, me and me
and Harb, we didn't go out on the cruiseeas until
(34:43):
we were in our sixties, and I loved it. You
guys are doing it now, Yeah, we were, I love
we had We had different outfits for every night. We
pretended like it was a different decade. So we had like, oh,
it's not twenties thing and there and they're the old
people are just like I remember twenties. Yeah, my friend
Margaret died in the twenties. She was such a sweet soul.
(35:05):
Thank you for making thank you for reliving that horrible memory.
Thank you for bringing this back to my psyche. Okay,
so that was the best. That was the best one,
and then we've got the last one, which is what
is the worst worst vacation? The worst vacation I ever
(35:29):
went on was probably with my mom, Um, shout out mom, Yeah, God,
the worst vacation. Ah. It's tough because like part of
the best I think it mine is maybe mixed with
like it was a really good one, and it's when
I moved across YEP, when I moved across the country
last year, I'm like, I'm like, I'm graduated college now something.
I'm like, I'm trying to do this whole coming of
(35:49):
age thing I saw in the Disney Channel growing up.
So I'm like, I have to do my cross country
road trip to find myself and to find my place
as such a Disney themed episode, because we're talking about
we're talking Playlist Live in Orlando, We're talking about the
Disney Cruise as a child, and then now all I
know is Disney. I don't know how other people navigate
the world that they haven't seen it in a Disney
(36:10):
movie like this. This is my point of reference. So
I'm like, like, this is gonna be my big coming
of age cross country trip. Um. And I decide I'm
going to visit like fifteen friends over thirty days while
I moved from Florida Jacksonville, Florida, like I ten east
basically over to Los Angeles, which West. Yeah, and my
friends like, you're an idiot. I'm like, why are you
(36:31):
saying I'm an idiot? For friendship? That's not a bad idea.
This is a life changing and it wasn't a straight shot.
I decided that I would drive up to Boston, Okay,
back down to the Carolinas that was a mist like,
and then go across and I spent the first week
driving up and down the coast so like this just
(36:54):
from Jacksonville to South Carolina is like a ten hour drive,
yea myself, And after the first two hours, I'm like,
oh no, if you haven't been able to tell I'm
a talkative person, I'm a social being. Every one of
my trips have been very social. And now I'm like,
what did I do? I'm stupid, this is dumb. And
(37:16):
I spent the first week and every stop I had
was overnight. It wasn't like I spent a week there.
I'm like, I got thirty days to make it over there.
So I visited fifteen people, seven of them on this coast.
So I'm like, I'm doing night by night driving six
hours to a different place. As soon as I wake
up to spend like four hours awake with the person,
I'm like, I have to go to sleep because I
have to leave at six am because I have to
(37:36):
drive seven hours up to New York tomorrow. Like that
was awful. It was so stupid. I should have done
a straight shot or giving myself more than thirty days.
The lesson I learned were spending at least spend at
least like two nights at a place, don't or just
snight or just have the like itinerary open ended, you
know where you're like, so you can shift it. I
feel like I am, but people had worked, so I'm like,
I gotta get there because they have work tomorrow. Otherwise
(37:58):
they can't hang out with me for two hours when
I get to their house at twelve pm that or
twelve m at night. You know, it was so dumb.
Like the highlight was that I got to take my
mom to Niagara Falls. We wound up getting up there
somehow and then driving back down, which was great all
the way up to Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls is so
lame too. Okay, the falls are beautiful, but everything around
it is shut down from the pandemic. Like there's no
(38:19):
tourists anything. Like the Canadian side had like a ferris
wheel going. They were shooting off fireworks and on the
American side they're like, we have the disease, and the
disease is stricken us. We are not allowed to be
commercing or whatever. So it's just the boat. But it
was cool to be. I would fly it. Don't drive
to Niagara Falls. There's no But the one thing is
now that you've moved out to LA, you're never gonna
(38:41):
do that coast road trip again. So you're getting like, yeah, like,
at least you got that, you know, it would have
made it better if I is, if I had someone
with me the whole time. And funny enough, the Snickle
another content creator. I picked him up halfway through in
Minnesota to finish out the drive through like Utah, Vegas, La,
and I'm like, this is gonna be great. We're gonna
(39:02):
talk the whole time, hang out this this is the
coming of age road trip movie. I need to know
what happened. He had a girlfriend at the time who
was in Scotland. She's on a different time zone, so
he the whole time I'm driving, he is either on
the phone with his girlfriend in a one side of
conversation I cannot hear, or he's watching TikTok's loudly and
(39:24):
I'm like, I can't play music because he's on the phone.
And then when I'm trying to play music, he's like
watching TikTok's and laughing and I can only hear it,
and I'm like, I wish I could watch that too. See, yeah,
that'd be crazy if I could see something. Let me
just turn off the music, you know, and then you're
just also hearing like no, I love you more. No,
And I'm like, I think I'd rather die at Nebraska. No,
(39:44):
you hang up first up. I just once we got
to the corn Palace in Nebraska, I'm like, I think
the corn Palace. I thought the Corn Palace was in
South Dakota. Is it South Dakota. I think they're all
the same. They're all the same. I hate that, you
know where it is with respect on the corn palaces.
Go to the corn pads. You get the chance that was.
It was so dumb. It was so dumb, and it
(40:07):
was the only thing for like twenty miles. And I'm like,
we have to go to the corn Palace. It really
is a palace made of corn. It is all made
of corn. It was like it look like a school
gym but also a corn corn palace. And I just
I'm like, who are you people? Why is this what
you do out here? And it was got time on
their hands. The moral of the story is like, like,
if you're gonna do that cross country road trip, do it.
(40:27):
Give yourself more time. Don't spend one night in a place,
give yourself like three nights and leave it kind of open.
Ended and make it what adventures may come. You know. Yeah,
it was. I would do it again, but I would
do it a lot slower, and I'd make sure someone
was with me at every part of the drive, because
driving nine hours through the night is not the move. Yeah,
to it in an electric vehicle to at this point,
(40:49):
because gas prices are a little it's like eight dollars
in here another. Yeah, so like the road trip is
dead at the moment. Yeah, unless even if the tesla.
It's like, don't go through the desert in a tesla. Yeah,
it's a little dangerous. Well, I mean unless you go
in a place that's rural and then you can get
gas for only four dollars, which is very high in
the rest of the country, but a great deal if
you're from La. I think that sums it up. I
(41:10):
think I think we've learned a lot. There's been a
lot of messages. I think what we learned is we
need to go on a cruise together. We need to sneak.
We need to sneak onto a cruise. What happens if
they catch us, I don't know. I think they just
drop you off in international waters. Oh you think, so,
what kind of boat where they put us on men
like wood or just no. I think they just hurl
(41:31):
you off the side. They can't do that legally. What
if they like airlift us out, like you can't be
here for your helicopter, Right, that's what it sounds like
to me. The nearest island and then probably yelled at
by the local authorities and adventures when I'm hearing I
don't like the sound of this. I'd like to go
to Jamaica. Let's do it on, okay, Jamaican cruise. We're
sneaking on. I mean, guys, if I do it though,
the CIA will definitely want me then yeah, right, yeah,
(41:53):
we just gotta we gotta like figure out the outfits.
I'm sure we could sneak on is some sort of
a like or we could be like or we could
be like we're we're the crew's performers. We're the Yeah,
we're we're the entertainment. We have a we have a
two man show, like I'm a ventriloquist and he's Jess.
I'm the dummy. I'm a dummy stripper. That's the other
(42:16):
part two is we have to improvise the whole thing.
We can't have any dummy Stripper and like, wow, how
does that work? I'm like, Hilarius, the show goes, I'm
the show and you can see it. Well, that about
does it for this episode of Hashtag story Time, thanks
again to Lonnie Marts. Make sure to check out all
his links in the description, take a second right now
and hit subscribe so you don't miss next week's episode.
(42:38):
We've got vo legend Lucky Yates. I said I was
going to do a big remake of My Dinner with
Andre with Brad Pitt and Vin Diesel, and it was
going to be two and a half hours of a
mumbling conversation. Give us a call at the Storytime hotline
three two three, seven four one eighteen seventy three and
tell us your story to be featured on an upcoming
(42:59):
list in your tales episode. If you're enjoying the podcast,
please leave us a review. It really helps us out
a lot, and I literally read every single one of them.
Hashtag Storytime is produced by iHeartRadio and Curativity Productions. Hosted
by Will McFadden, sound designed by Tony maddox, written by
Will McFadden and Jason Shapiro, Produced by Jason Shapiro, Danielle A.
Mora and Jordan Elijah Michael. Theme song by Scott Simons,
As I walked in. It's literally just like like a
two hundred kids, maybe three hundred kids in a lobby
sprinting around like trying to tackle their favorite content creators,
and the content creers like, oh no, I'm being chased
by my fans, and it's like, okay, that's what this is.
(00:35):
Sometimes there's an event that you would do anything to
get into, like Coachella if you're into music, or the
met Gala if you're into fashion, or a secret underground
screening of the butthole cut of the movie Cats if
you're into Cats. But the only thing that's better than
getting invited to these exclusive events is successfully sneaking in.
(00:57):
And people come up with some pretty clever schemes to
smuggle themselves into these parties. Now that I would know
as a straight cisgender white man with a mustache, I
pretty much just walk into any place without anyone batting
an eye, which is a problem. Now. My friend Lonnie
March knows a thing or two about sneaking into an event.
Lonnie is a twenty seven year old actor, content creator,
and former Storytime guest checkout season three, episode four, and
(01:20):
he's best known for his God and Gabriel's sketches on
TikTok and Lonnie's got a great story about the lengths
he went to to sneak into the biggest social media
convention in all of Orlando. I'm your host, will catch
me if you can McFadden And this is hashtag storytime
brought to you by iHeartRadio. Do you do you have
a story that you'd like to share with me? I
(01:41):
do have a story about the time I snuck into Playlist.
Oh yeah, um, were you at Playlist twenty twenty? I've
been at so many playlists. Yeah, Playlist twenty twenty was
the last trip that I went on before, right, Yeah,
I remember we were we were flying there and like
when we were flying back, especially like everyone was just
(02:04):
wiping down their seats and purelling everything. We were like,
I don't know how to do. What do we do? Uh?
Just we didn't have masks yet. It's a bug. There's
a bug. They heard there's a bug. It was bad
because like walking through that lobby plays I mean, I'm
from Florida, so I like what happened was I had
just gotten I had like just gone viral like in
January and blown up to a couple million followers as
(02:26):
it was so new, and I'm like, wow, I'm a
real life content creator. Now I have to go to
the playlist you know, I used It's my birth Right.
Oh you went to British. I thought you were doing
Owen Wilson for a second, like one Wilson. I don't
know if it's British, it's just yours. It's like the
or just a kid on the playground who doesn't have
all his teeth in yet. Um so I go to
from Tom's. Yeah, I blew up on the internet. And
(02:49):
then yeah, I had blown up on the Internet. And
then I thought myself, I had to go to my
own mosh. I play my birth Right, my trip Mecca.
Have to do my mecca, um, which is playlist But
what happened was well, for those of you who are
listening who aren't familiar with Playlist Live, Playlist Live is
it's It's there's two major social media conventions that happen.
(03:09):
There's Vidcan, which is on the West Coast. It happens
in Anaheim, which just just happened. We we were just
hanging out there. And then Playlist Live. They used to
do them in a couple of different areas, but the
main playlist live is in Orlando, Florida. Yeah, and it
is a massive social media convention where thousands and thousands
of fans descend upon the Orlando Marriott Sin. They descend
(03:31):
like a sin like locusts. Well, it's fans and people
who wish they were invited. And then also and then
also uh, disgruntled mothers who just sit at the ball.
Oh my god. There cigarette that was. That was a
pivotal part. So so so I had just gone borrow
from my series God and Gabriel super fun um, and
(03:52):
I think I had just kind of started working with
Collab and I was like, hey, Collab, now then I'm famous.
Can you guys like get me into playlist? And you
guys were like, yeah, no, it's super closed like that.
You needed that like six months ago. And I'm like okay, um,
they're like, can't do anything to help you. I'm like,
that's understandable. I get a lot. You should have reached
out to me directly. I would have been like, I
(04:12):
should have sate my guy. Yeah, I will get your
wrist bands. I will sneak I'm all about sneaking people
into stuff. So I would have good. Well then this
is so this is what I did. So I was
I was a little I was like, well, guys, I'm famous.
I have to go to Playlist, like I'm now at
that caliber. They just they would have gotten me, and
they just didn't have the tickets. So I'm like, I'll
just do it myself. I'll just get myself in so
(04:35):
I know I'll do it. Yeahself, I'll do it myself.
So here's what I did. Um, because I was in Jacksonville, Florida,
home of the Jacksonville Jaguars. Like that's a two hour drive.
I'll drive down there, and my buddy he's like like,
do you want to go to Playlist? He's like you
have tickets. I'm like, no, do you want to go
to Playlist? And he's like yeah. And so we get
our both our chaotic good brains together, maybe just chaotic
(04:55):
at this point, and we're like, how are we gonna
do this? And I'm like, we show up to the
Playlist hotel, which, mind you, I don't know what I
was thinking about as I walked in. It's literally just
like like a two hundred kids, maybe three hundred kids
in a lobby sprinting around like trying to tackle their
favorite content creators, and the content cres like oh no,
I'm being chased by my fans, and it's like, okay,
(05:18):
that's what this is. And I think there might have
been one stage in a conference room or like Charlie
Damilia was maybe talking. But I didn't see any educational
panels at all when I was there, like an industry
day where like, you know, all the boring panels happen.
I guess so, and I don't know. So it was nighttime.
I was walking by. I was seeing like Gabe Irwin, like,
go to sleep, guy, you've been strolling up for quite
(05:39):
a while. I saw Gabe, like Brent Riviera, and I'm
just like, oh wow, they're just here. This is crazy.
It's my first kind of real exposure and I'm like,
I absolutely need to be here. I need to be
in this. I have to get into. I didn't even
know it. I guess just a back state. I didn't
have a pass, and I'm like, I don't have a pass.
I don't know what I can't do because I don't
know what people are doing here besides standing around the lobby.
But I have to get in. So I look at
(06:00):
my friend, I said, Hey, we're gonna sneak in to
the back rooms, like the lounge areas, okay, and he
had just gotten off of work. There's like a whole
underbelly of the Marriott where all the creators travel. And
then yeah, there's like some like set aside green rooms
for feature creators to kind of help keep them separate
and have them like a safe space for them to
gather where the fans aren't just clawing at them apparently.
(06:24):
So I'm like, I'm gonna get into those spaces because
I'm a good creator, and this is where this is
where the journey begins. My friend, he had just gotten
off of work and he was working at a bank,
and I'm like, this is perfect. This is absolutely perfect.
You look like you could work here, and that is
all I need. So he's like Oceans eleven, but it's
just oceans too, just oceans because we're stupid, And I'm like, okay,
(06:47):
this is we're gonna do. Man. You are gonna go
over to where all those tired, anxious moms are who
are drinking their wine, and you're gonna start picking up
their wine glasses and you're gonna take one of those
trays and you're gonna start collecting and say, hey, can
I get you anything else? Can I help you with that?
Start cleaning off those tables? Okay, He's like, why am
I doing them? Like, trust me, you can set up
the foundation here, trust me, brother, And so he goes.
(07:08):
He's like, all right, I'll trust you. And so fortunately
he was in theater, yes, the ass the theater. So
he does a great job, puts on a great performance,
walks over there. It's like, man, he looks so tired.
I hope you're having a good time as your kid
and a good so great starting like grabs a random tray.
Like the people who actually work, they are like more help,
I don't care whatever, you know, they're just annoyed. So
he picks it up. He grabs all these glasses and
stuff like that in his hands, and he's like, I'm Mike.
(07:28):
He comes back to me. He's like, what do I
do now? I'm like, now, you see those two guards
over there at that door, You're gonna walk right past
them and go right into the lounge area and then
we're in. We're in, baby, We're in the clear. And
he's like that, he's exacts. It's not gonna work. I'm like,
it's gonna work. Go up to it, and he's like,
I'm not so sure. I'm like, okay, okay, okay, here here, here,
tell them Zach from the Kitchen sent you. It's gonna work.
(07:51):
Every time, anytime somebody is like, oh so and so
I don't know from somewhere. If they're from somewhere, it
adds more validity. I'm like, that's that's a name I
don't know in a play I'm unfamiliar with. So I'm
he's like, Okay, I'm gonna give it a try. And
so he's going up to go do it and thank
god at the same time because I'm like, it might
not work. He might just get kicked out. This horde
of girls comes chasing after Brita Riveria or something like that, like,
(08:13):
and so they like crowd up the security area as
he's about to go through, and so he's like able
to sneak by, and I'm like, okay, perbe he didn't
have to use the thing. But one of the security
guards like, seas hey, stop, stop, stop, where are you going?
Where are you going? And I'm like, oh, almost no.
He I was standing back at this, but He caught
my friend right as he tried to sneak by at
the same time as the girls in the crowd on
(08:33):
all the commotion. He's like, where are you going? And
he's like, oh, Ken from the kitchen sent me. And
I'm like, that's not even what I said to say.
I said up and the guy's like, yeah, okay, go
just go, just go, and I'm like it have walked,
it walked And he's back there. He like he starts
walk around and I'm like, yes, yes, wait, I'm not
back there. Does this help you? I'm not back there? What?
(08:58):
And so I call I said, hey, I didn't think
this all the way through. Come back out, come back out,
And so he comes back out and I'm like, okay,
plan too. This is how I'm going to get back there.
Now this works. We know that security guards can be
like tricked deceived. This is totally gonna work. Also then,
just for context to the security guards at Playlist are
like mad with power. They're all like they have no
information as to like no information, they never pass goes
(09:20):
where or what wristband means what, And they're all just
like I am blocking the store and nobody gets by it.
So They're like they're a stone wall. It's it is.
They don't know what they're doing. They've just been told
something by Larry up in the tower, and I don't
know who that is, but it sounds like somebody who'd
be telling them things. And this is where we got
This is how we got kicked out. So I have
to realize that we both needed to get through. I'm like,
(09:40):
new plan, time time to take over the world. And
there's I see everybody walking by with their badges, right,
it's when the plan hatches. I'm like, oh, I'll just
make my own. And so I'm like, okay, so this
is where it was stupid. I'm like, yeah, but this
is what this is the mistake I made. So as
everybody was walking by, I'm like, I gotta be slying.
(10:02):
Get a picture of somebody somebody's bad so I can
like recreate it. I have some photoshop skills. I got
a photo, I got like Photoshop whatever photoshop version. Like
in two thousand and six, whenever YouTube was just coming out,
and I was like, yeah, internet making photos. You know,
I didn't make the banners and thumbnails for people on
forums and stupid stuff like that. So I have skill
is what I'm saying, Yeah, you do. Some lady was
walking by and I saw her all access badge, like
(10:23):
that's the one snapped a picture and then I'm like perfect.
So we go back to his house that night. I'm
staying up in bed until three am, looking cross orfencing
the picture, putting everything together in photoshop, like adding little lines,
adding my name. I'm like, oh, and I'll even do
like Marx Media LLC. So I look official. And then
fortunately he was. He was how do I say the
(10:45):
badges were done right? But we needed to print them
somewhere and laminate them, yeah, because they're all laminated or whatever,
and fortunately he was. Um. He was flirting with the
with the leasing office, the head of the leasing office,
as as his apartment complex. Next morning, it was like
the last day of playlist. We go over there and
I'm like, can you get us a can you like
get her to let us laminate this stuff. He's like,
(11:05):
I'll put on my charm. I'll do what I have
to do for a playlist. So we go in there,
he's like flirting with them. I'm like in the back,
like trying to laminate everything. And then she's like, you
can use the laminator. It's fine. It's like we don't.
It's you can. You don't have to sneak around. I'm like, okay,
do you have any lanyards? And she gives us like
a Disney World lanyard and then like a Kinko's lanyard,
and I don't even know what the Playlist's actual lanyards where.
I'm like, it's gonna have to work. We cut it
out and the badges look good. It looks like a replica.
(11:28):
And I'm like, look a picture. I have the picture
of Oh do I have the picture of it? I
have the picture of the bag. Would never I would
keep that forever. I don't. I think it fell apart.
So so we get done up. We're like sitting in
the car on the way there. We're like, oh, we're
a playlist. We're official. I'm an official creator. Now Here
we go and this is how we got this is
(11:48):
where I went bad. So we get to the parking
lot and the first guard we're like, I'm like, I haven't.
I'm trying to like to be subtle about it, but
I'm also trying to make sure they see that I
have a badge, you know. So like the first guy
in the parking lot, I like, in like this the
Creator only area he's guarding. We walk up and we're
like flashing our badges and it's like nighttime and it's
kind of dark. He like looks and gave us off.
I'm like, oh, buddy, buddy, we're in this now. This
(12:10):
is what this is how you defeat capitalism. This is
how you defeat capitalism. You steal from the rich and
you make your own products, you know. And so we
can up to the stairs going up into the massive
like the hotel or whatever from the Creator side mind you,
and then we're about to walk by another Curity guy.
He says, hey, boys, come come on, come on, come
over here, come over here real quick. And I'm like,
what's the problem. Officer like, what's going on? What's what's happening?
(12:32):
A special Creator Only update, and he like grabs both
of our badges. He grabs both of our badges as hey,
i's gotta put hands on these because some people have
been making fake badges, so they're requiring us to touch
all of these before we let anybody in. You guys
(12:52):
have a good time, go have fun. What I'm like,
of course, sir, of course, my buddy is crapped himself.
At his point, he's like the single bead of sweat
running down and I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
there's no way he knew. These are mint. They're perfect,
like exact copies are laminated, we have lanyards, they're fine.
(13:13):
There's no way he knew. He's just doing his job.
These are perfect. And so we get inside and I
realized this is where we left up and probably why
he called us out and was being so kind to
not kick us out. The picture I took was of
a woman who was like four feet tall, so on
her the badge looked very big. So I made my
badge about the size of a sheet of paper. Everybody
(13:34):
else's playlist badge was the size of a credit card. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
there's they're definitely the perspective was off. The perspective was off.
It's like I was in motion when I took that picture,
and that's where I messed up. And to make it
even worse, because it's a photo not a video, I
didn't know that it was double that it was double sided.
Oh yeah, definitely knew. Could you flip that badge over
(13:56):
real quick? I supposed to what the back looks like.
I'm like, this is what I'm panicking, Like, we come
so far, it's the last day. We did all that work.
You had to flirt and snoo snow with the leasing
office lady to get these laminated. We have to do this.
We have to see if it'll let us in the back.
And so he's like, I don't know, man, this looks
really stupid. Like we're saying he were like a poster
on our chest and everybody else has like the sides
(14:16):
of the credit card, Like we're dumb. We're we're like
super featured creators, like exactly meat creators and or they're
like we're like we're cause playing. We're gonna this is
our cost, but we're creators, cosplaying creators, that's all this is.
And so I'm like, we're just gonna, We're just gonna try,
And by we, I mean him again, because I realize
that I am too scared to get in trouble because
(14:36):
like Josh, if I get kicked out, I can't come back.
So you have to do it for us. And he's like,
what am I supposed to do? I'm like, just kind
of cover it with your arms, and it would be fine,
just kind of like say as you know and show
it a little bit, but then keep like your arms
like you're just just you're annoyed, you're just grawntiled the
full access bad. You're fine. Yeah, you've got somewhere to be,
(14:58):
you know what I mean, Like I don't handle I
don't have to time to show you my past. You know,
I've got a panel to be on. Like I said,
this is where we messed up. But if anybody's listening,
if you're on the phone, people are way less likely
to stop you, and especially if you're an intense conversation.
This is like real espionage hacks here, I'm giving out
for free. Yeah. But I'm like, Josh, I'm just standing
in the lobby with my like posterboard posterboard padge And
(15:19):
he is like, I'm like, hey, buddy, just go see
see if you just flash it and get by and
then call me and if it works, I'm gonna come
right behind you. It's gonna work. It's fine, you know,
as long as no other secuity guards like grabbing him
clipping over our badges were fine. So we go back
to the same VIP area that security guard is there
or whatever. Now Josh has like normal like creator clothes on.
He doesn't look like he's like working at a bank.
So he like is able to just like flash the
(15:40):
badge and go right in. And I'm like, it's still worked.
It's still worked. This is perfect. We're smart. You got this.
It's the confidence that will work every time. It's the confidence,
and that's what I learned here. So I'm like, I'm
about to go back there. I call and said her,
are you in? Are you okay? What's up? He's like,
were There's some areas that you need wristbands get into,
but I'm in the general areas. I can just kind
of go in and stuff like that. So coming in
(16:01):
like five minutes, he's like, I'm renegading right now with
Addison Ray Like we're exactly just doing the Renegade with
Addison and Charlie, And so I'm about to go back then,
I'm like, we've done it. I'm an official creator. And
then he calls me back and says, they kicked me out,
And I said, how what do you mean that? Who
would kick you out? You had the badge? You're good.
He's like, some schmuck came up to me. Some random
(16:23):
guy was like, oh, hey, buddy, where'd you get that badge?
And he's like, oh, don't worry about don't worry about that.
It's mine. I got it. I got it from me.
And the guy's like no, no, no no, let me see
it and like grabs the badge and flips it over
and starts yelling this guy's got a fake badge. He's
got a fake badge. And I'm like, who, who are you?
Why are you living in life? And joy like in
(16:44):
the security guard he's like he's like in Josh like.
The security guard was like, nah, dude, I knew it
was fake. I wasn't about to kick you out, but
once that guy said something, I had to. And I'm like,
I worked so hard on the I sit up to
like three amm like working on these they were perfect
except where they weren't. And so he got kicked out.
At that point, I'm like, well, I can't risk my career.
I'm just gonna go ahead and meet him outside. So
(17:05):
then we left outside. But I bowed that the next
time I went to one of these conferences I would
be invited. Unfortunately, at big Con last week, I was
invited as as a guest and a speaker on one
of the panels for Meta and I did not have
to make a fake badge. And that's good because those
would have been very difficult to replicate because they were
like hardboard, double sided and like laminated on one side
and like rough on the other. I'm like, oh, they're
getting good, So I gotta father technique. You can have
(17:28):
start a whole business of fake fake badges, fake pass dude.
The The ultimate would have been if you got in
with the fake badge and then just walked on stage
for a panel like that, you had no idea. Imagine.
Stop giving me ideas because next year a big con
I might, but imagine with the confidence, Oh my god. Yeah,
it's like, oh and we uh here we are the
(17:49):
Beauty on Budget panel. Yeah, Lonnie, I ivy um going.
When are we opening up the flour for questions? And
thank you Karen? Yeah you're moderating now. Yeah, It's like,
I'm gonna tackle this one first. So when it comes
to beauty, it's all about the external factors. Um, the
(18:09):
inside does not matter. As long as you look good
on the outside. That's where true validation comes from. Good
question Mike dropped, does anybody else want to touch on
that best? Just such an honest panel. Really, we are
in Los Angeles, California, and I'm gonna be honest with you.
(18:31):
If you are not pretty, you will not have privileges.
So okay, so next question. I feel good about that. Yeah,
good question, good question. So wait, are you going to
Playlist Live this year? Absolutely? And if they don't invite
me back, I'm repeating the process. I am absolutely making
another badge. It's something about the challenge and the thrill.
I hope one day the CIA hires me from my
(18:52):
skills h and they're like, you know, Lonnie, we saw
what you did at least we think you got. We
think you got Gusto kid. We like what you did
at Playlists, how you made those badges and were too
scared to use them. Your mediocre photoshop skills aside the
way that you the way that you use your friend
(19:13):
as a shield and test and test guinea pig, we
think we got a butt for you on the force.
How about you come do some training at Quantico. You know,
your sticktuitiveness really showed through and whatever. You bailed out
twice because your plan looked like it might not work.
Perfect Operation playlist. Can you also make passes for my
fourteen year old daughter. My daughter's been trying to get
(19:34):
in there for a while. She really wants to meet
Charlie and Dickson. If you could please help us out.
We got you a spot on the force. Well, mister President,
I think I can do that. I would be like,
that's a hard pass for me. It was I don't know,
I don't know something about like whenever I was in
like middle school, I always loved like breaking onto the
roofs of buildings. So I just like different bandage point.
(19:58):
I don't know, it's like, oh, STI like, I would
never lock pick because I can't. I'm not I'm skilled.
I don't know how to do that. I would just
hope the door was open. I've thought about that often
of like I need to just learn how to lock pick,
because so often I get to a lock door and
I'm like, ah, shocks. But if I would have the
guy with the kid, and it's like, can't be that hard,
I mean, I think, because I mean, like there's so
(20:19):
many rooftops I haven't been able to access because of
a simple lock, and security is merely an illusion and
all can be all can be overcome and like navigated
through with the proper like sticktuitiveness, determination or proper set
of skills. And um, I like to think that is
what's made me the creator I am today. And do
you see those channels too, the like lock picking channels,
Like so I gets I get in a black hole
(20:41):
of those, Like I had a friend who actually snuck
into them. I think it was the um the logan
paul KSI fight by making a fake badge and I'm like,
that's that's a lot one of my friends got. He
got Actually, I think this is the same dude. He
got a warrant out for his arrest and didn't get
arrested till a year later. I mean, because that's Vegas,
(21:03):
Like you're sneaking in because that one was that one
in Vegas or was it in London? I think it
was Vegas. But it's like, I don't recommend doing these things.
That's my disclaimer. Um, because he got a warrant and
didn't think anything of it, but then got arrested in
a separate state like a year later. Yes, And I'm like, UFC,
(21:25):
don't play. But I'm like, okay, noted because he posted
about it. He posted and went viral, so they're like, okay, cool,
we'll find you. That's where he fucked up. I guess
I keep it to yourself, Like that's what I'm saying, like,
just if if you get kicked out, it's like, my
name is my name is Morgan. Morgan's for the people
and you I'm never coming Sorry. You know, I made
(21:45):
an honest mistake. I was looking for my wife, I said, I,
like I always said, don't tell anyone about you know
this as we're doing a podcast where you're telling everyone's
name is to remain unnamed. No, no, but I'm saying
your experience, like, oh but you got caught, you got
kicked out, you didn't get arrested, everything was fine. Yeah,
and I we're coming back. We're going back to playlists
exactly what I'm gonna invited this time. And I won't
(22:06):
have to make a fake badger. Maybe I'll make a
fake badge just to see if I can do it,
you know, just to test my abilities. Yeah, yeah, but
I I don't know something about just like sneaking into
places just to see if you can. Like that social
engineering bit is a fun piece too, but definitely there
are risks involved, and you can go to prison. Good. Yeah,
it's a moral of the story. That's the moral of
(22:27):
the story. Follow your dreams and know that you can't
go to prison. Yeah, and walk walk swiftly with let's review.
Let's review the key takeaways. Confidence is key. Yes. Whenever
Josh had his outfit on and started picking up the
drinks from the moms and just kind of walked by
and said, Kenny from the kitchen sent me the security
guard is like the confidence was matched. Also, dress the part.
(22:50):
Dress the part. Give them less reasons to question you
and less reasons to notice you. All right, Um, rely
on the skills you do have. I am a charmer,
so if I really need to too, I could have
charmed the pants off those security gardens. Has been anywhere,
but I just chose not to. Um. Josh had experienced
in the theater, so he acted confidence. Um. And the
last tip is phone. Yeah, fake the phone call. Fake
(23:14):
the phone call, you know, and just keep on walking.
Fake the phone call, keep walking. Do all these things
and you can get in anywhere. I think. Also, if
you have a ladder, that'll do it to ladders are
letters are a key. Nobody wants to stop to you.
In fact, they want to help you. They want to
get the four for you, and basic photoshopping skills too.
That is a requirement. And if you're a hacker. I
(23:34):
actually called up one of my buddies who's a hacker.
I'm like, can you get me? Like, can you hack
the list? He's like, what do you mean hack the list?
He's I'm like, can you like get into the database
or something. He's like, it's probably just a Google Drive sheet.
I'm like, hack it, damn it. I don't get into
the main frame, darts, hack it. Just get me through
the firewall. He's like, I don't want to know how
you hack it. I don't care how you do it.
(23:55):
Just do it. You just should go full Jack bower
Tony exactly like you. So yeah, those are the morals
of my story. It was a good time. Ten out
of ten would do it again. I love it. We've
been doing another little little mini segment that I'd love
to run by you and see if you want to participate.
(24:17):
But it's it's a little storytelling game. It's called first, Last, Best, Worst,
and so we pick a category and then you briefly
tell us what your first experience, was your last experience?
Was your best experience and your worst experience? What was
the first vacation you remember going on? Oh my god,
the first vacation I remember going on, Um was on
(24:39):
the Disney cruise. Actually it was yeah, and oh I
don't know. Yeah, yeah, well it was like six months ago,
so six maybe it was awesome. I couldn't even get
into the kiddie pool. What's up with that? He made
a fake lamb in it to get in the kiddie pool. Yeah,
I am a I am a child. I am a
(24:59):
baby walking with confidence on them on my baby. Sorry,
I'm trying to get into the kiddie pool. I'm your
security guard won't let me. I'm a child. Look at
my badge. Um, like, sir, did you steal that wristband
from a child? I said, I'm a child. What do
you mean four year old going on a Disney cruise? Dude? Okay,
So these are the things I remember. Um. They say
you don't remember things after the age of three, and
(25:21):
I was four or five and barely remember things. But
I remember they had ice cream all you can eat
ice cream by the pool side with sprinkles and that
just that was like that was like, oh wow, so
this is what living is. Yeah, that's that's core memory
right there. This is why, this is what life's all about.
Like some people grew up with trauma, I was fortunate
(25:43):
to grow up thinking about's the next time I'm gonna
get to go to the the pool side at the Disney
Cruising get some like sprinkles with ice cream and sprinkles. Um.
There was a giant There was a giant slide, which honestly,
the slide is probably maybe one story high, but obviously
it was a massive slide in a massive pool to
a four year old, and it had Mickey Mouse's face
at the bottom of it, and I thought it was
a giant pool, okay, And it was probably just like
(26:05):
an inflatable tub on the deck, who knows, but it
was a beautiful um. We went off, We went to
one of the beaches, I guess or whatever, and I
just think remember floating away. It's like, as a kid,
everything is way more dramatic than it really was. But
I think I remember floating away from the shoreline in
an inner tube and like sharks swimming underneath me, when
in reality it is probably like some minnows And I
was like a foot away from the from the beach
or whatever. But it was a lot of I think
(26:27):
we saw Tarzan. Maybe Tarzan had just come out or
something like that. They showed him on the Disney movie
Super Cool the movie, yeah, or like I like he
swung in onto the cruise the movie just the movie.
If he was there, I don't remember seeing him, but
I remember seeing the Tarzan movie and Phil Collins going
hard in that sounds like there was so much cool stuff.
And I actually haven't been back since, which makes me
very sad, but that was probably the I think that
(26:49):
was a first vacation I went on. All right, that's
a that's a solid first vaca. Very hard to compare.
Everything whenever you're a child in ignorance is bliss and
you don't realize that the Kidi Pool year and it's
probably filled with urine, just unlimited for you with sprinkles. Yeah,
so because that's all I needed. That's honestly, as a kid,
Why didn't that kill us? Like that? Kids are resilient? Man,
Like like that shi all the ice cream, I ate
(27:10):
should kill a child, but it didn't. I was just like, yeah,
rally bag puke and rally let's go baby day two
at the pool, Like, can I put some chocolate sprinkles
on it? This time my last vacation. Ah, what conscert
is a vacation? I went to, I went to I
(27:30):
went to I went to New York for like twenty
four hours. I saw that. I saw a video that
you posted that one. Um. The gross thing. The thing
I didn't realize about New York is that every Airbnb
in New York, if you're in like Manhattan, that area,
like our airbnb was it slept eight people and had
one bathroom. Oh my god. Yeah, I mean it's space
(27:52):
is a commodity in New York. So I get that.
I get that, But why is toilet's a commodity too?
A commodity a commode? Come mode? Um? We went to go.
It was the premiere of The Boys season three, which
is the first time UM and season three episode one
it hits hard I did. I was just like, oh,
this is this is what it is happening. Yeah, he
(28:14):
is a kind of blown up. It is Genitalia is
on the stream. Um, but I love news. I realized,
I like really like New York because you could walk
out of your building and find like whatever you need,
so you can just like drop like walk out. It's
like boom over here is like a lady who's like
naked on crack and like gonna sell you some Tarot cards.
Get it over there. It's like a library. Um, and
(28:34):
it's super fun. Like it's like, oh, the Dichotomy of
Man and that's super fun. Like the rats are cute.
I kind of like the rats. Yeah, it's like, oh,
that's a big Like, Oh, he's brought me a slice
of pizza and the black plague. How sweet of him. Um.
I got lost on the subway system. Oh yeah, got
on the way to the airport. Everything Like. I like
(28:55):
that you can just use your Apple pay to get
on the subway though, that's kind of cradd that it
caused like two dollars or something something like. That's fine.
You can be out in the city kind of at
any time and night. It feels like and you're probably
not going to get stabbed depending on where you go. Um.
But that was the last one I took, um so
quick twenty four hour New York trip. Okay, what was
the what was the best vacation? That's vacation was my
(29:17):
senior trip our class president convinced us that we should
go on our senior cruise. And so again, cruises are
a common thing with me, Royal Caribbean, what's up? Or
Disney Cruise. But it was like I went to a school.
First of all, we had one hundred kids in our
high school fourteen and my graduating class small private Christian
school woohoo and fourteen. So we're all like, yeah, we're
(29:40):
gonna be hanging out. You know, it's just us. If
someone's missing, bull no, and if two people are missing,
you guys are definitely hooking up. Um, like we know
where you are, Like it's not that hard to guess
what's happening wherever. But that was fantastic. Yeah, after the
long football season, I did football. Football season's done, went
to the playoffs. It's like, you know what school, high
school has done? My year of like mandatory schooling are
(30:01):
done with my skip, I'm no longer a truant. And
so it's like the perfect way to celebrate that is
a cruise. So we went to Cosmo. When scuba diving
out there, rising scuba diving is kind of hard, you
have to hold your breath. Not for me, why not?
What's up? I generally, it's kind of don't like the
ocean as a whoa, stop, don't say that thing. You know,
it's it's a lot, it's it is a lot of planet.
(30:24):
It's like, and I'm just not a great swimmer. I'm
a land mammal. Okay, I'm great on land. It's just
you get me in the water. I'm like, what are
some of your best land skills? Box jumps? Jumps? You
can't do box jumps in the water. Cannot That's that's
the thing. Uh uh. Rowing but just rowing on land,
(30:44):
like using the rowing machine. I'm a good rope but
I don't like to do it on the ocean, on
the water, on the wet I just don't like not
knowing what's beneath me. And it's are you scared of whales?
Uh No, not really. I did go not Scooba snorkeling
in Belize and there were whale sharks and I swim
with whale sharks and that's so cool. It was really cool.
(31:05):
But just in general, I just don't like being I
feel like it's I'm just out of my element, you
know what I mean. It feels like it feels like
outer space, you know. Yeah, But worse, nothing swimming above
you or beside you or underneath you in outer space exactly,
and they can't just change direction and eat you. I
can also kind of pinpoint where it went wrong. I was.
I was surfing in Costa Rica when I was like
(31:27):
eighteen years old, and we were right where the leatherback
turtles mate. And leatherback turtles are six foot sea turtles.
They're freaking dinosaurs. They're massive, and one I was like
enjoying sunset and like, oh, what a beautiful view, and
then one came up right next to my board with
its mouth a gape. And you've ever looked inside the
mouth of a leatherback turtle, it is a nightmare's nightmare.
(31:49):
Fuel They eat jellyfish, so it's all spiny and crazy.
And that thing came up right next to my leg
and I was like, I fucking paddled faster than I've
piddle in my life. That's when you were done. And
then I was like, yeah, fuck the ocean. I was
like that place. Actually, honestly, I would agree if that
happened to me, I'd probably like, yeah, we're good, We're good.
(32:10):
I was probably trying to eat you. It's another core memory.
I think he was just saying hi. He was just
like He's like, yeah, but I was. Then You're like
it looked like a dinosaur. It was especially out of
nowhere too, like you're just peacefully enjoying it, and yeah,
there's such a serene, beautiful moment, just like he's like,
I would like to enjoy as well. Hey that's not
(32:31):
so fun fair enough. Yeah, so the cruise was fun
Cosmo scuba diving. Um. One of my friends confessed her
love for me and I rejected it, and then we
were still stuck on a boat with each two days.
I'm like, why would you not do this on the
last day? Like, why would you do this midway through?
(32:53):
She was like maybe there wasn't because if you were
into it, you would have been like why didn't you
do this on the first day? Absolutely, so yeah, maybe
she shot for the middle. You know, I guess staphysically speaking,
she picked a good it was a good option, yeah,
But statisically speaking, I feel like there could have been
(33:14):
other options, like maybe should have gathered more stats first, Yeah, absolutely,
a little reconnaissance. More overall, the there's fourteen of you
in class, Like, you guys haven't figured out over the year.
You could do the recon. You could ask anybody literally, wait,
do you think I don't think so. You're like, I'm
(33:37):
in the middle of some fro yo and sprinkles. I
got my sprinkles and frolio. I'm really living my chaha memory.
Will you talk about loves before right now? You know?
Not the time? Yeah? No, not the tom I'm in
between the mamma yo sprinkles. Um weird weird weird flex.
I won the U the karaoke competition on a Princess cruise. Congratulations.
(33:59):
I was the Princess Karaoke King. Yep, Princess Karaoke King,
and I sang h lean on me and all the
old folks were just like for the rest of the trip,
We're just like King Karaoke. Voted for you. I voted
(34:22):
for you. I knew you had something special. Mcfannin thanks Herb, Yeah,
you could call me her. But we were the only
my girlfriend and I were the only two young people
on the cruise, and everyone was just like, look at
you too, Oh, come on, I love you. Guys are
outliving your life because no, because no, me and me
and Harb, we didn't go out on the cruiseeas until
(34:43):
we were in our sixties, and I loved it. You
guys are doing it now, Yeah, we were, I love
we had We had different outfits for every night. We
pretended like it was a different decade. So we had like, oh,
it's not twenties thing and there and they're the old
people are just like I remember twenties. Yeah, my friend
Margaret died in the twenties. She was such a sweet soul.
(35:05):
Thank you for making thank you for reliving that horrible memory.
Thank you for bringing this back to my psyche. Okay,
so that was the best. That was the best one,
and then we've got the last one, which is what
is the worst worst vacation? The worst vacation I ever
(35:29):
went on was probably with my mom, Um, shout out mom, Yeah, God,
the worst vacation. Ah. It's tough because like part of
the best I think it mine is maybe mixed with
like it was a really good one, and it's when
I moved across YEP, when I moved across the country
last year, I'm like, I'm like, I'm graduated college now something.
I'm like, I'm trying to do this whole coming of
(35:49):
age thing I saw in the Disney Channel growing up.
So I'm like, I have to do my cross country
road trip to find myself and to find my place
as such a Disney themed episode, because we're talking about
we're talking Playlist Live in Orlando, We're talking about the
Disney Cruise as a child, and then now all I
know is Disney. I don't know how other people navigate
the world that they haven't seen it in a Disney
(36:10):
movie like this. This is my point of reference. So
I'm like, like, this is gonna be my big coming
of age cross country trip. Um. And I decide I'm
going to visit like fifteen friends over thirty days while
I moved from Florida Jacksonville, Florida, like I ten east
basically over to Los Angeles, which West. Yeah, and my
friends like, you're an idiot. I'm like, why are you
(36:31):
saying I'm an idiot? For friendship? That's not a bad idea.
This is a life changing and it wasn't a straight shot.
I decided that I would drive up to Boston, Okay,
back down to the Carolinas that was a mist like,
and then go across and I spent the first week
driving up and down the coast so like this just
(36:54):
from Jacksonville to South Carolina is like a ten hour drive,
yea myself, And after the first two hours, I'm like,
oh no, if you haven't been able to tell I'm
a talkative person, I'm a social being. Every one of
my trips have been very social. And now I'm like,
what did I do? I'm stupid, this is dumb. And
(37:16):
I spent the first week and every stop I had
was overnight. It wasn't like I spent a week there.
I'm like, I got thirty days to make it over there.
So I visited fifteen people, seven of them on this coast.
So I'm like, I'm doing night by night driving six
hours to a different place. As soon as I wake
up to spend like four hours awake with the person,
I'm like, I have to go to sleep because I
have to leave at six am because I have to
(37:36):
drive seven hours up to New York tomorrow. Like that
was awful. It was so stupid. I should have done
a straight shot or giving myself more than thirty days.
The lesson I learned were spending at least spend at
least like two nights at a place, don't or just
snight or just have the like itinerary open ended, you
know where you're like, so you can shift it. I
feel like I am, but people had worked, so I'm like,
I gotta get there because they have work tomorrow. Otherwise
(37:58):
they can't hang out with me for two hours when
I get to their house at twelve pm that or
twelve m at night. You know, it was so dumb.
Like the highlight was that I got to take my
mom to Niagara Falls. We wound up getting up there
somehow and then driving back down, which was great all
the way up to Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls is so
lame too. Okay, the falls are beautiful, but everything around
it is shut down from the pandemic. Like there's no
(38:19):
tourists anything. Like the Canadian side had like a ferris
wheel going. They were shooting off fireworks and on the
American side they're like, we have the disease, and the
disease is stricken us. We are not allowed to be
commercing or whatever. So it's just the boat. But it
was cool to be. I would fly it. Don't drive
to Niagara Falls. There's no But the one thing is
now that you've moved out to LA, you're never gonna
(38:41):
do that coast road trip again. So you're getting like, yeah, like,
at least you got that, you know, it would have
made it better if I is, if I had someone
with me the whole time. And funny enough, the Snickle
another content creator. I picked him up halfway through in
Minnesota to finish out the drive through like Utah, Vegas, La,
and I'm like, this is gonna be great. We're gonna
(39:02):
talk the whole time, hang out this this is the
coming of age road trip movie. I need to know
what happened. He had a girlfriend at the time who
was in Scotland. She's on a different time zone, so
he the whole time I'm driving, he is either on
the phone with his girlfriend in a one side of
conversation I cannot hear, or he's watching TikTok's loudly and
(39:24):
I'm like, I can't play music because he's on the phone.
And then when I'm trying to play music, he's like
watching TikTok's and laughing and I can only hear it,
and I'm like, I wish I could watch that too. See, yeah,
that'd be crazy if I could see something. Let me
just turn off the music, you know, and then you're
just also hearing like no, I love you more. No,
And I'm like, I think I'd rather die at Nebraska. No,
(39:44):
you hang up first up. I just once we got
to the corn Palace in Nebraska, I'm like, I think
the corn Palace. I thought the Corn Palace was in
South Dakota. Is it South Dakota. I think they're all
the same. They're all the same. I hate that, you
know where it is with respect on the corn palaces.
Go to the corn pads. You get the chance that was.
It was so dumb. It was so dumb, and it
(40:07):
was the only thing for like twenty miles. And I'm like,
we have to go to the corn Palace. It really
is a palace made of corn. It is all made
of corn. It was like it look like a school
gym but also a corn corn palace. And I just
I'm like, who are you people? Why is this what
you do out here? And it was got time on
their hands. The moral of the story is like, like,
if you're gonna do that cross country road trip, do it.
(40:27):
Give yourself more time. Don't spend one night in a place,
give yourself like three nights and leave it kind of open.
Ended and make it what adventures may come. You know. Yeah,
it was. I would do it again, but I would
do it a lot slower, and I'd make sure someone
was with me at every part of the drive, because
driving nine hours through the night is not the move. Yeah,
to it in an electric vehicle to at this point,
(40:49):
because gas prices are a little it's like eight dollars
in here another. Yeah, so like the road trip is
dead at the moment. Yeah, unless even if the tesla.
It's like, don't go through the desert in a tesla. Yeah,
it's a little dangerous. Well, I mean unless you go
in a place that's rural and then you can get
gas for only four dollars, which is very high in
the rest of the country, but a great deal if
you're from La. I think that sums it up. I
(41:10):
think I think we've learned a lot. There's been a
lot of messages. I think what we learned is we
need to go on a cruise together. We need to sneak.
We need to sneak onto a cruise. What happens if
they catch us, I don't know. I think they just
drop you off in international waters. Oh you think, so,
what kind of boat where they put us on men
like wood or just no. I think they just hurl
(41:31):
you off the side. They can't do that legally. What
if they like airlift us out, like you can't be
here for your helicopter, Right, that's what it sounds like
to me. The nearest island and then probably yelled at
by the local authorities and adventures when I'm hearing I
don't like the sound of this. I'd like to go
to Jamaica. Let's do it on, okay, Jamaican cruise. We're
sneaking on. I mean, guys, if I do it though,
the CIA will definitely want me then yeah, right, yeah,
(41:53):
we just gotta we gotta like figure out the outfits.
I'm sure we could sneak on is some sort of
a like or we could be like or we could
be like we're we're the crew's performers. We're the Yeah,
we're we're the entertainment. We have a we have a
two man show, like I'm a ventriloquist and he's Jess.
I'm the dummy. I'm a dummy stripper. That's the other
(42:16):
part two is we have to improvise the whole thing.
We can't have any dummy Stripper and like, wow, how
does that work? I'm like, Hilarius, the show goes, I'm
the show and you can see it. Well, that about
does it for this episode of Hashtag story Time, thanks
again to Lonnie Marts. Make sure to check out all
his links in the description, take a second right now
and hit subscribe so you don't miss next week's episode.
(42:38):
We've got vo legend Lucky Yates. I said I was
going to do a big remake of My Dinner with
Andre with Brad Pitt and Vin Diesel, and it was
going to be two and a half hours of a
mumbling conversation. Give us a call at the Storytime hotline
three two three, seven four one eighteen seventy three and
tell us your story to be featured on an upcoming
(42:59):
list in your tales episode. If you're enjoying the podcast,
please leave us a review. It really helps us out
a lot, and I literally read every single one of them.
Hashtag Storytime is produced by iHeartRadio and Curativity Productions. Hosted
by Will McFadden, sound designed by Tony maddox, written by
Will McFadden and Jason Shapiro, Produced by Jason Shapiro, Danielle A.
Mora and Jordan Elijah Michael. Theme song by Scott Simons,
Host
Will McFadden
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