February 17, 2021 • 31 mins
This week on Storytime, we have the cringiest, most hilarious, and embarrassing stories the Internet has to offer. First, vlog squad daddy and co-host of The Views Podcast, Jason Nash, shares the story of a truly humiliating work day. Next up, a Reddit user known as “KnownPay” brings us on the cringe ride of a lifetime as we hear about the time he accidentally got a little too comfortable around his family. Finally, Charlie White (AKA Cr1TiKaL) shares his experience of being so bad at Facebook flirting that he probably should have just deleted his account.
Featured Storytellers:
Jason Nash
Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/jasonnash
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jasonnash @jasonnash
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@jasonnash @jasonnash
VIEWS with David Dobrik and Jason Nash
Cr1TiKaL
YouTube - www.youtube.com/penguinz0
Twitch - https://www.twitch.tv/moistcr1tikal
Reddit Story
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/90ol0e/tifu_by_masturbating_in_front_of_my_entire_family/
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Before we jump into today's episode, I just wanted to
let you all know that we are doing a giveaway.
Each week, we will be selecting one lucky listener and
sending them a fifty dollar Amazon gift card and a
story Time t shirt. All you have to do is
rate and review the podcast. Follow Storytime dot Pod on
Instagram and leave a comment on the latest post that
(00:21):
says I'm an official fable baby. That's it. Also, if
you have a damn good story to tell and you
want to hear it on an upcoming listener episode, tivioty
type that thing up and email it, or send an
audio file of you telling your story to story Time
at Collab dot Inc. Can't wait to hear him. Welcome
(01:00):
to story Time, the podcast where I bring you the
best stories from around the Internet, produced by I Heart
Radio and Collab. I'm your host, will please never tickle
me Mick Fadden. Today is a very special episode. I'm
actually coming to you live from my middle school cafeteria.
Technically I'm trespassing, but as the kids who currently go
(01:23):
to this school would say yellow or yolo, I don't, Hey, kid,
do you say yolo or yolo? Cool? Cool? Cool? Anyway,
it's the perfect location for us to go on a
cringe tastic journey of some of the internet most embarrassing stories.
None of these stories will be mine, of course, as
(01:44):
I am much too cool and definitely never shipped my
pants in front of Carly Hurts, the most beautiful girl
in school, after eating one too many bowls of clam chowder,
or nearly burned my nipple off in a chemistry experiment
gone wrong. Why was my shirt off? It wasn't because
we're not talking about me, and these things never happen,
all right, Okay, So what's the deal? Why do people
love embarrassing story so much? And why do we get
(02:06):
so much satisfaction when embarrassing moments happen to people that
we hate. Don't deny it. You all know exactly what
I'm talking about, and you know what that feeling. Well,
that feeling it's normal. In fact, it's so normal. The
Germans even have a word for it, which makes sense
if you think about it, makes complete sense. So throw
(02:27):
out that page on your word of the Day calendar
and buckle up, because I'm coming at you with schadenfreuda.
That's right, Schadenfreuda really rolls off the tongue, there, doesn't it.
The official definition is the experience of pleasure, joy, or
self satisfaction that comes from learning of, or witnessing the troubles, failures,
(02:48):
or humiliation of another. To use it in a sentence,
America's Funniest Home Videos thrives on schadenfreude. Now wouldn't it
be fab if second hand experience it's was the only
way one could feel the cringe and tinge of embarrassment. Oh,
that would be a dream, That would be an absolute dream.
But that's simply not possible. Everyone trips or bars or
(03:12):
ships their pants in front of their crush at one
point or another, not that I would know. And if
you're lucky, your experience will one day spice up a
round of drinks with friends, or make a first date laugh,
or who knows, maybe even land you on a podcast
featuring the most suave and deboner host who has definitely
always made it to the bathroom in time ever in
(03:33):
his life. Surprise, I'm talking about me. I'm I'm the
host of the of that podcast. Our first brave storyteller
is none other than the vlog squad daddy himself, Jason Nash,
who found himself in an awkward position and proceeded to
handle it pretty pretty poorly. When I was younger, I
(03:56):
wanted to be a newscaster. I had a I really
love sports so much. I was really into sports and UH.
I grew up in Boston and I loved local Boston sports, Celtics, Bruence, Patriots,
It's all I cared about. And my cousin was dating
a guy who was on ESPN as an anchor and UH,
(04:18):
and I thought that this was incredible and I was like, Wow,
that's what I want to do. I want to be
a sports anchor when I grew up. So I went
to w b Z Channel four in UH in Boston,
and I wanted to be an intern for the sports department,
and they were not able to offer me a position
in the sports department was really about me out. They
told me, they said, we need somebody, you know, for
(04:39):
the news department, sports people. They don't really have interns,
you know. So I took the job and I was
like an intern. I was actually paid a little bit,
which was cool. I remember getting like half a salary,
which was great because you know, when you're like in
eighteen nineteen, any money is incredible um, and so it's
(04:59):
probably making a you know, maybe a hundred fifty bucks
a week something like that. It was a good amount
of money for me. And I was in charge of
the assignment desk, and that was I had a guy
that I kind of worked under, and and the assignment
desk is this square desk around with a bunch of
it's it's like a bullpen kind of thing, like like
you've ever seen like all the President's men or typical
(05:22):
like journalistic kind of setups. Um. And I'm at the
center and there's chairs in there and and I kind
of like a bullpen where people can come up from
all sides and talk to you and give you, i
don't know, the stories, or pass your tapes or whatever.
And my main job there was to answer the phone
(05:43):
w b Z Channel four. All I'd say w BZ
Channel four news or I'd be like Channel four like that.
And the time it was it was somebody who was
just really out of their mind, crazy like saying crazy things,
which was demoralized sing a lot because you're like m M.
My job is basically just filtered out the crazy people
(06:05):
so the real people can do all the work, which
is fine. But lots of times people would call and
and tell me that, like Satan was talking to them
through the Phil Donahue Show, which like aired on the
channel a couple hours before the news would chair would
would air. Um, they would say stuff like that. They
(06:27):
would say like Bubbo Bell was like a sportscaster. He
was like the big sportscaster in on the channel. And
someone would call and be like, how come Bob hasn't
come home? Like a one more call back? How can
she hasn't come home? And I'd be like, um, you know,
and when you first get this call, you're like, oh,
is this Bubble Bell's wife? And she's like yeah, And
then you're like you find out that it's just someone
(06:50):
who thinks they're married to Bubblo Bell because he comes
into their living room every night. Um. So yeah, it
was a lot like that. Sometimes the jobs would be fun.
Sometimes they let me go out with them. The reporter
would would do like a live stand up, which was
really funny, you know, especially when it's like snowed or something.
(07:15):
They'd send the guy out, you know, the reporter to
where there was like a lot of snow. Um. Like literally,
I've seen them like if there was like a snow
plow that like made a big bank of snow. Let's
say there's only like an inch on the ground, but
the guy will like make it like he'll stand in
front of the big thing of snow, you know, to
make it look like he's you know, like it's like
(07:38):
a crazy amount of snow out there. Um. And that
was kind of interesting. Um. And then there was just
general like you know, there'd be like a fire in Allston,
like you'd send the I'd be responsible for like sending
the crew there, stuff like that. Or they would call
me be like hey, we're on our way back from
the fire in Alston, and I'd be like okay, um.
(07:59):
Because then you know, they have to put the packages
together and get them ready for the six o'clock news,
which was the main thing, and the eleven o'clock news. Um.
And so I really really liked this job a lot,
Like I was really into it and I really wanted
to do a good job, like a really really really
good job. And so one day someone called this cameraman.
His wife called and I was like Channel four. She
(08:20):
was like, hi, is Joel there? And she was like um,
and I was like, no, he's not here. He's on assignment.
As she goes, um, she goes, oh, oh okay, she goes, well,
just tell him when he gets back that his brother died.
And I was like, oh my god. I was like,
I am so sorry, I'm my gosh, my condolences to
you and the family. Blah blah blah blah blah blah.
(08:41):
Joe is such a great guy. She was like, it's okay,
it's okay, don't worry about it. You know, he was
sick for a while. So then I hang up the phone,
and I don't know what came over me, but like
I really wanted to do a good job. So I
grabbed up like a post it note, which is you're
supposed to do when you get a message for somebody,
because this was like before cell phones, and you were
(09:03):
supposed to leave a message for the person. And so
I just write down on the post it note to
Joe from Jason, that's me, and then in the message
box where you're supposed to fill out what the messages,
I just wrote, your brother died with a period on it.
Three words, your brother died with a period on it,
(09:25):
And then I put it in his box and I
just went on my day. I was just like well,
and I actually was like really proud of myself. I
was like, took care of that. That is an important message.
Got to get this to him right away. Like I
had no idea. I just didn't know how the world worked,
you know what I mean. I think that's like a
big thing when you're like eighteen or nineteen or twenty,
(09:48):
especially guys. Guys are kind of like dumber then girls,
I think at that age. And uh, and I just
was not thinking and I really patted myself on the back.
I was like, good Jason. Well, a few hours go by,
and you know, I'm doing my work at the assignment desk,
and then Joe comes in and he comes back from
(10:10):
wherever he was at, like a fire in Allstone or whatever,
and I I see him and he's like any you know,
he was like a he's like a Vietnam War vet.
He was like a real gruff dude. He wore like
the classic like photog like flak jacket, put the places
to like put film in the flat jacket, but like
no one's using film anymore, but he still wore it. Um.
(10:32):
But you know, because that was just like a look,
that's like a cameraman. Look you know, um, I mean
you would see it in like you know, kind of
like when like Mike Wallace would like if you see
any footage from Mike Wallace and like Vietnam, they would
wear these flat camo flak jackets or whatever. So I
he goes any messages, I grabbed his messages, maybe he
(10:55):
had like a few in there, and I handed to
him and like, oh, yeah right away. And I know
full well that like this is gonna be awful for
you know, for him, that he's about to get it.
But I'm just like, yeah, I guess this is how
it's got to be. Mind you. I don't know why
the ex wife like told me to tell him like that,
which I just thought was weird, Like why wouldn't the
(11:16):
ex wife just go, hey, just have him call me,
you know what I mean? Why is she sending me,
you know, to talk to the guy who's kind of
like messed up from being in Vietnam and kind of
already angry when his stuff doesn't come out of the
vending machine, you know what I mean, He's already kind
of an angry guy. I don't know why she's having
(11:37):
me do it. So he starts to walk away, and
he's not the nicest by the way, even before this
horrible thing that I did to him. But he starts
to walk away, and he's reading the messages, and I'm
watching him in the bullpen, which is like a really
big room, big open room with lots of deaths, and
I'm watching him walk away. I'm watching him read the messages,
(11:58):
and then finally he stops. He reads my message, which
is your brother died. He literally looks like he's about
to like crumble and like fall over, and he turns
around in the bullpen and he's this big, booming guy,
(12:19):
like the toughest guy in the entire company, and goes,
where's that fucking kid, where's that fucking kid? What's his name?
Your motherfucker? You motherfucker. You don't trust somebody, You don't
trust somebody that their fucking brother died like that, goddamn it.
(12:45):
And it all hits me like in that moment, I
was like, oh shit, And I was like, all right,
that would be a really bad way to tell somebody
that their brother died. And I don't know, It's one
of the most embarrassing, humiliating things I've ever done. I
(13:06):
felt so bad. I was trying to do a good thing.
He rushed the bullpend, he rushed the assignment desk, and
he had to be physically pulled away from me. He
he literally took a swing at my face. But luckily
this guy Roby, his name he got on the way,
(13:28):
that was his nickname, Roby. He was my boss. And
I remember Robie just going he's just a kid, Joe,
He's just a kid. He's like, I don't give a
funk if he's a fucking kid. He's like, you're gonna
fucking pay for this. And I was just like, I'm
so sorry, I'm so sorry, and I thought for sure
that I would get fired. They brought me in to
(13:51):
an office, the head of the assignment desk and the
head of the news division. And I sat there for
like ten minutes, and I was like, okay, well this
is this is pretty much it and uh and I
was like, well, I was like, okay, let'son learn. It
wasn't like the best job. It wasn't like a job
in sports. And the two guys, Um Dave and Roby,
(14:13):
they came in. They they looked at me really sternly,
and then they shut the door behind them, and then
they started sucking, dying laughing, and they were like that
is the funniest fucking thing. And they're like, what were
you thinking? And I was like, I don't know. I
(14:33):
was trying to do a good job. And they were
just like hysterical for like five minutes. And I remember
the offices were glass, so people was like we're watching
them laugh and I was like, you, guysol probably shouldn't laugh.
And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah probably pbably
not probably not um and then they were just like, yeah,
I just don't do it again. And then they let
me stay and I kept my job at w b
(14:53):
Z Channel four. H. That is some sweet, sweet schadenfreud
are right there. I feel like the modern day equivalent
of what Jason did would be sending your boss a
text message that said your brother is dead skull emoji
(15:14):
ghost emoji prayer hands. I don't know about you, guys,
but I'm feeling better about myself already. If somehow you're
not already following Jason Nash on all platforms, I highly
recommend you go and do that now. Also make sure
to check out his podcast views, co hosted by none
other than the mischievous yet generous boy king of the Internet,
David Dobre. Not that they need my plug, but there
(15:36):
it is. Our next story comes to us from the
t FU subreddit, also known as today I Let up
and you may want to pop a mouth guard in
because it's gonna make you cringe so hard you may
crack a tooth. Stress has always gotten to me pretty easily,
but the last few weeks or so have really been
(15:57):
something else. Aside from major examinations coming up, pressure to
do well for my family, and a sphere lack of sleep,
my wisdom teeth were also getting removed in a few days,
which I was extremely anxious about, and altogether I was
having a pretty bad time coping with it. Also, being
(16:18):
the horny teenager I am, I often find solace in
my penis and it's best buddy, my right hand. So
upon returning home after getting my teeth removed and what
seemed like a dream, I laid down in my living
(16:39):
room with my family watching TV. I dozed off a
couple of times, and I was generally quite disoriented. Being
both high off in aesthetics and tired is not a
good combination. So after waking feeling drowsier than ever. The
(17:01):
upcoming exams dawned on me once again, especially since I
had done next to no studying at the time and
not really caring to face the problems that troubled me.
I decided to reunite the dynamic duo that being my
right hand and my beloved penis and just forget about
(17:26):
it all. So off I went. Except I forgot one thing.
I was still in the living room in full view
of my entire family. Somehow, my gassed up, tired brain
managed to convince me that I was not, in fact
sitting with my family by our TV, but was instead
(17:48):
comfortably laying in bed in my own room. No, I
don't really understand how or why it happened. A few
seconds in and I began to notice the puzzled eyes
that curiously seemed to be looking right at me, with
expressions that transitioned from shock at my brazen meat smashing
(18:12):
to anger and outrage, accompanied by a little intense giggling.
It's yeah. I snapped out of it, of course, realizing
the insanity of my actions, and beheld the pure, unfiltered
embarrassment I had put myself in. I'm not going to
(18:35):
talk about what happened next, as I don't want to
relive the next few moments. But my father is just disappointed.
He hasn't talk to me much recently, and the long,
awkward silences on the drives home are not too pleasant.
(18:57):
My mother uh believes that we should embrace my sexuality
and is potentially setting up a group therapy session. As
I write this now here, I am to study in
my ass off, pouring through books. It's a good excuse
to be alone. I find myself hoping that none of
(19:20):
it really happened, that maybe I was just dreaming while
I was cast up. But it did happen, and boy
does life suck right now? Wow, let's uh, let's give
(19:44):
that kid a hand. He must have felt like a
real jerk. I mean, if I were that kid, I
would move out. You know, I would just beat it. Okay,
I'm done, I'm done moving along. Social media makes it
(20:06):
so easy to connect with old friends and make new ones.
It also makes it incredibly easy to embarrass yourself from
the comfort of your own home. Seriously, you can lay
in your bed all alone, eating candy bars and still
somehow find yourself in an embarrassing situation. Of your very
own making, and our last storyteller, Charlie also known as
(20:28):
Critical also known as Penguin Zero, knows this all too well.
I don't think I've ever shared a story about myself
so embarrassing that it changes the way you look at me.
I've shared a lot of embarrassing stories with girls and
ship that I've had in the past, but nothing that's
so goddamn game changing, lee cringe inducing that you vomit
(20:49):
and think less of me. Until today. I was trying
to think of a story that I wanted to talk
about because I wanted to tell a really embarrassing one today.
But I wanted to like amp this ship up to
like the highest fucking level I could. So I was
going to my past, of which there is a myriad
of embarrassing stories to choose, but I wanted to find
the perfect one. And then I remembered something that made
me sick to my goddamn stomach. So I can't wait
(21:09):
to share it with all of you. So to preface this,
this happened in high school. The year is two thousand
and eleven. This was right after my third lung collapse.
If you've been following me for a while you know,
my lung collapse three times, and the last time it
happened was two thousand eleven. Well, in two thousand eleven,
I got surgery to have it fixed. And before I
went into surgery, there was a girl I had a
(21:30):
crush on that had just added me back on Facebook,
and I decided I'd send her like this goddamn scholarly
orrah I love you message to her. And we had
never spoken. So this girl and I never spoke once
in our lives, and not even by accident. If I
farted somewhere in school, there's no way she would ever
fucking smell it, because we were never even close to
each other in any sense of the word. The only
(21:52):
reason we even knew about each other, rather, the only
reason I knew about her was because she was a
cheerleader and I played basketball. Other than that, no communication, literally,
not even eye contact. And yet, for some reason, in
two thousand eleven, I sent this girl the most disgustingly
embarrassing messages when I was in the hospital. I haven't
(22:12):
read them. I screenshot at them today and I sent
them to myself so I could read them to you
today and we can experience this together. As a lesson
in how not to ever approach a woman in any
any way. Uh so, allow me please pick up artists legend.
Charlie is going to guide you through the how don't
the doknots of women. So let's go ahead and get
(22:33):
into these messages here, so ace pussy slang god. Charles
in two thousand eleven leads with I know you and
I have never talked, but I just wanted to tell
you that you are one of the most beautiful girls
I've ever seen. Now, some of you might hear that
and think I came on a little too strong. Looking
back on it now hindsight, I don't think I came
on strong enough. I should have lead with I love you,
(22:54):
signed Charles, and then like a little kiss and then,
uh you know, maybe go from there. So after I
said this, she responds with a simple question mark, nothing else,
just one character, a question mark. I was already in
the hospital. But if I wasn't that right there would
have sent me in the hospital with fucking cardiac arrest.
That ship hurts so goddamn bad at the time, But
I mean, what what can you expect when someone leads
(23:15):
with some ship like this? This is a kind of
ship you see on Twitter with like a bad English
associated with it, with a sin Bob's in bitch, Lasagna please,
Vagina looked good with penis and stuff like that. It's
a creepy message. Any girl should respond with a question
mark or nothing at all. But anyway, my my spirits
weren't to turn. I continued, Yeah, I'm in the hospital,
(23:36):
and just said, fuck it, it's worth a try. You
probably don't think the same. You probably don't think the
same about me, But I just wanted to say that
that's some are nice guys ship right there. Jesus Christ.
Well this is pretty fucking bad. Let's keep going to that.
She says, Oh, I'm sorry, frownie face, but thanks. I
guess why are you in the hospital. I'm surprised she
(23:59):
even believed I was in the hospital, To be honest,
he got a fucking stranger coming at you, pretending like
he's going off to war and sending a love letter
out there like some goddamn type of anime. If someone
sent me ship like this, would be like, yeah, sure, buddy,
I'm sure you're in the hospital. We have small dick
syndrome going on. There's no cure get out of my
d m S. I have recurrent new moth. I have
(24:20):
recurrent new mo thorax in my left lung. It has
collapsed three times, and tomorrow I have surgery to repair it.
Sad Violin's plan. I'm sure when I was typing this,
I just wanted to tell you that before I had
the surgery. I know that it is a weird way
to start a conversation. I also know that I came
on way too strong telling you that self awareness key key,
(24:40):
even back then, I had it. Even back then, I'm like, Jesus,
I'm sounding really fucking weird, but I'm still going for it.
Didn't stop me. Should have stopped me, to be honest. Yeah,
that's the lesson to take away here. Don't do this.
You know, at this when you when you're starting to recognize, like,
holy sh it, this is too strong and I'm being
very weird. Just stop. So Anyway, she asked about the
surgery and ship nothing to talk about there. But then
(25:02):
as we're starting to wrap up, I say, just wondering,
do you know who I am? If you don't, I
bet this is the most fucked up conversation you've ever
been a part of. I mean, yeah, that's that's definitely
a funked up way of going about things. Past Charles
Jesus Christ. I sound like some type of spoiled rich kid.
Do you do you know who my father is? He
invented bing and I'm a big deal. Please just please
(25:24):
love me? Please, God damn it in the hospital for
God's six? Do you know who I am? God? These
are such embarrassing messages, She says, uh ha ha, No,
I don't know who you are, like i've seen you,
but that's it. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's that sounds
about right. I was a very odd guy, odd looking
to I had this really weird fun out in my
hair looks like it now, but back then I had
an even weirder hairstyle where I shaved all like the side,
(25:48):
the back, and the top of my head like it
was a one with the clippers. But the front was
about as long as it is now, so everything was
pretty shaven except the bangs. So that was an I
was a fucking moods. It could be hard to forget
what I would be hard not to see me and
make fun of me. I was one step shy of
like a trench coat Fedora wearing fucking loser in high school.
(26:09):
I really was, so yeah, it makes sense that she
at least remembered what I looked like, because I was.
I looked like a goddamn sucking psychopath. So to that,
I said, oh, sorry, that this is weird for you. Huh.
The only way to make things like this not weird
is to keep saying, yeah, it's probably weird right that way,
it's takes attention off. It's like, oh, he's saying it's weird.
It can't be weird if he keeps talking about how
(26:30):
weird it is. All right, it makes sense like pretty
much every fucking line I say in here is about
how weird it is, and yet I keep going to that.
She says, I don't mind at all. So then in closing,
this is a this is my finisher, this is my
Immortal Kombat fatality, my big grand finale. Here. Alright, cool,
Maybe when we when I get out of here, we
(26:50):
can talk more so I can get to know you
a little better. I'm not as weird as this conversation
makes me seem, you know. You know. Little road tip
to the ladies, don't take someone up on that offer.
They most likely are pretty fucking socially enough. I certainly
was a d We never talked after this. I can't
(27:10):
imagine why, but we never spoke or anything. Nothing ever
came of this. Unsurprisingly, however, I'm sure if we did,
I would have been still just as socially enough talking
in person as I was on the Facebook messenger. So
the listen, ladies and gentlemen, don't be weird. That's always
the advice I give to someone going into college and ship.
Just don't be weird, don't be super forward, don't be
(27:34):
super out there. Just be normal, normal conversations. Let things
you know, simmer developed, you know, sniff things out. Don't
just come in their guns blazing, jerking off. I love you?
Do you love me? Like, come on, come on, Tony eleven, Charlie.
I look back on ship like this, and like Jesus Christ,
I didn't. I never recognized how bad I was until, like,
(27:56):
you know, you get older, so you know, it's pretty
embarrassing story. Maybe is that is embarrassing for listening to it,
But for me recollecting on this, it's fucking bad. Man,
Like Jesus Christ, that girl is probably scared for a
fucking life. Thank you have be tossing pebbles that are
window late at night like two am. Hey, did you
think about me in the hospital? I'm all right now
(28:16):
you want to talk ship man. Well that's the end
of the story. Another nice tale for the compendium of
awful interactions I've had with women, all of which being
my fault from my past. So yeah, fuck yeah, that's it.
So yeah. I think the moral of this story is
(28:38):
never surgery and facebook oddly specific really no good can
come of it ever. And also, don't be a creep.
But if you do a creep thing, recognize you did it,
admit the creepiness, make a YouTube video about it, and
then be a better person. I'm sure there's a few
people out there who could learn a thing or two
from Charlie's story. For more moist, critical content, subscribe to
(28:59):
his YouTube channe and a Twitch, or check out his podcast,
the Official Podcast. And there you have it. Not only
did you learn a new word today, but you felt it,
you experienced it. Let's practice it one more time. Rip
it after me, shot and Fred excellent, great job. You
cringe some cringes and if you're like me, you shuddered
(29:21):
in your soul. I'd like to give a huge shout
out to our storytellers, Jason Nash Critical and the anonymous
masturbation Boy. Wherever you are. You can find more info
about them and links to their channels in the description.
Until next time, my little shod in Freudian loving fable babies.
Oh oh crap. Okay, all right, I think I've been
spotted because there is a very attractive, yet stern, principal
(29:44):
looking lady be lining towards me right now. Oh my god, what,
oh my god, is that Carly Hurts? It is Carly.
I would recognize that disapproving scowl any day of the week.
Oh shit, shit, shit shit, How do I get out
of here? I am not I am not paired for this.
I'm wearing freaking George right now, and I'm having a
mediocre here day at best. Crab grab grabs here. Okay,
(30:07):
I'm sorry, I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm just trespassing. Sorry,
you look familiar crab to recognized. Man. I gotta I
gotta get at it. Is that? Oh my goodness, it
is No, it's no, it's not. It's not wherever you
think I am. I am not him. Oh my god.
Shall long time don't see. Do you have a horrifyingly
(30:29):
embarrassing story that made do you want to fake being
sick for the rest of your life? We'd love to
hear about it. Type up your story or send an
audio file to Storytime at collab dot Inc. And maybe
we'll share our favorites on an upcoming episode. If you're
enjoying the podcast, please leave a review, give us a rating,
and share it with a friend. Helps us out a lot.
Story Time is a production of I Heart Radio and
(30:50):
Collab executive producers Eric Jack's Song King and Will McFadden.
Hosted by Will McFadden, Produced by Jessica Eccles, Jason Shapiro,
Jenny Elmer and Danielle Mora. Written by Jenny Elmer, voice
acting by Thom Sismanski and Jenny Elmer, sound designed by
Tony Maddock's original score by Scott Simons, cover art by
John Kusagaya and animation by Bella bushm
Before we jump into today's episode, I just wanted to
let you all know that we are doing a giveaway.
Each week, we will be selecting one lucky listener and
sending them a fifty dollar Amazon gift card and a
story Time t shirt. All you have to do is
rate and review the podcast. Follow Storytime dot Pod on
Instagram and leave a comment on the latest post that
(00:21):
says I'm an official fable baby. That's it. Also, if
you have a damn good story to tell and you
want to hear it on an upcoming listener episode, tivioty
type that thing up and email it, or send an
audio file of you telling your story to story Time
at Collab dot Inc. Can't wait to hear him. Welcome
(01:00):
to story Time, the podcast where I bring you the
best stories from around the Internet, produced by I Heart
Radio and Collab. I'm your host, will please never tickle
me Mick Fadden. Today is a very special episode. I'm
actually coming to you live from my middle school cafeteria.
Technically I'm trespassing, but as the kids who currently go
(01:23):
to this school would say yellow or yolo, I don't, Hey, kid,
do you say yolo or yolo? Cool? Cool? Cool? Anyway,
it's the perfect location for us to go on a
cringe tastic journey of some of the internet most embarrassing stories.
None of these stories will be mine, of course, as
(01:44):
I am much too cool and definitely never shipped my
pants in front of Carly Hurts, the most beautiful girl
in school, after eating one too many bowls of clam chowder,
or nearly burned my nipple off in a chemistry experiment
gone wrong. Why was my shirt off? It wasn't because
we're not talking about me, and these things never happen,
all right, Okay, So what's the deal? Why do people
love embarrassing story so much? And why do we get
(02:06):
so much satisfaction when embarrassing moments happen to people that
we hate. Don't deny it. You all know exactly what
I'm talking about, and you know what that feeling. Well,
that feeling it's normal. In fact, it's so normal. The
Germans even have a word for it, which makes sense
if you think about it, makes complete sense. So throw
(02:27):
out that page on your word of the Day calendar
and buckle up, because I'm coming at you with schadenfreuda.
That's right, Schadenfreuda really rolls off the tongue, there, doesn't it.
The official definition is the experience of pleasure, joy, or
self satisfaction that comes from learning of, or witnessing the troubles, failures,
(02:48):
or humiliation of another. To use it in a sentence,
America's Funniest Home Videos thrives on schadenfreude. Now wouldn't it
be fab if second hand experience it's was the only
way one could feel the cringe and tinge of embarrassment. Oh,
that would be a dream, That would be an absolute dream.
But that's simply not possible. Everyone trips or bars or
(03:12):
ships their pants in front of their crush at one
point or another, not that I would know. And if
you're lucky, your experience will one day spice up a
round of drinks with friends, or make a first date laugh,
or who knows, maybe even land you on a podcast
featuring the most suave and deboner host who has definitely
always made it to the bathroom in time ever in
(03:33):
his life. Surprise, I'm talking about me. I'm I'm the
host of the of that podcast. Our first brave storyteller
is none other than the vlog squad daddy himself, Jason Nash,
who found himself in an awkward position and proceeded to
handle it pretty pretty poorly. When I was younger, I
(03:56):
wanted to be a newscaster. I had a I really
love sports so much. I was really into sports and UH.
I grew up in Boston and I loved local Boston sports, Celtics, Bruence, Patriots,
It's all I cared about. And my cousin was dating
a guy who was on ESPN as an anchor and UH,
(04:18):
and I thought that this was incredible and I was like, Wow,
that's what I want to do. I want to be
a sports anchor when I grew up. So I went
to w b Z Channel four in UH in Boston,
and I wanted to be an intern for the sports department,
and they were not able to offer me a position
in the sports department was really about me out. They
told me, they said, we need somebody, you know, for
(04:39):
the news department, sports people. They don't really have interns,
you know. So I took the job and I was
like an intern. I was actually paid a little bit,
which was cool. I remember getting like half a salary,
which was great because you know, when you're like in
eighteen nineteen, any money is incredible um, and so it's
(04:59):
probably making a you know, maybe a hundred fifty bucks
a week something like that. It was a good amount
of money for me. And I was in charge of
the assignment desk, and that was I had a guy
that I kind of worked under, and and the assignment
desk is this square desk around with a bunch of
it's it's like a bullpen kind of thing, like like
you've ever seen like all the President's men or typical
(05:22):
like journalistic kind of setups. Um. And I'm at the
center and there's chairs in there and and I kind
of like a bullpen where people can come up from
all sides and talk to you and give you, i
don't know, the stories, or pass your tapes or whatever.
And my main job there was to answer the phone
(05:43):
w b Z Channel four. All I'd say w BZ
Channel four news or I'd be like Channel four like that.
And the time it was it was somebody who was
just really out of their mind, crazy like saying crazy things,
which was demoralized sing a lot because you're like m M.
My job is basically just filtered out the crazy people
(06:05):
so the real people can do all the work, which
is fine. But lots of times people would call and
and tell me that, like Satan was talking to them
through the Phil Donahue Show, which like aired on the
channel a couple hours before the news would chair would
would air. Um, they would say stuff like that. They
(06:27):
would say like Bubbo Bell was like a sportscaster. He
was like the big sportscaster in on the channel. And
someone would call and be like, how come Bob hasn't
come home? Like a one more call back? How can
she hasn't come home? And I'd be like, um, you know,
and when you first get this call, you're like, oh,
is this Bubble Bell's wife? And she's like yeah, And
then you're like you find out that it's just someone
(06:50):
who thinks they're married to Bubblo Bell because he comes
into their living room every night. Um. So yeah, it
was a lot like that. Sometimes the jobs would be fun.
Sometimes they let me go out with them. The reporter
would would do like a live stand up, which was
really funny, you know, especially when it's like snowed or something.
(07:15):
They'd send the guy out, you know, the reporter to
where there was like a lot of snow. Um. Like literally,
I've seen them like if there was like a snow
plow that like made a big bank of snow. Let's
say there's only like an inch on the ground, but
the guy will like make it like he'll stand in
front of the big thing of snow, you know, to
make it look like he's you know, like it's like
(07:38):
a crazy amount of snow out there. Um. And that
was kind of interesting. Um. And then there was just
general like you know, there'd be like a fire in Allston,
like you'd send the I'd be responsible for like sending
the crew there, stuff like that. Or they would call
me be like hey, we're on our way back from
the fire in Alston, and I'd be like okay, um.
(07:59):
Because then you know, they have to put the packages
together and get them ready for the six o'clock news,
which was the main thing, and the eleven o'clock news. Um.
And so I really really liked this job a lot,
Like I was really into it and I really wanted
to do a good job, like a really really really
good job. And so one day someone called this cameraman.
His wife called and I was like Channel four. She
(08:20):
was like, hi, is Joel there? And she was like um,
and I was like, no, he's not here. He's on assignment.
As she goes, um, she goes, oh, oh okay, she goes, well,
just tell him when he gets back that his brother died.
And I was like, oh my god. I was like,
I am so sorry, I'm my gosh, my condolences to
you and the family. Blah blah blah blah blah blah.
(08:41):
Joe is such a great guy. She was like, it's okay,
it's okay, don't worry about it. You know, he was
sick for a while. So then I hang up the phone,
and I don't know what came over me, but like
I really wanted to do a good job. So I
grabbed up like a post it note, which is you're
supposed to do when you get a message for somebody,
because this was like before cell phones, and you were
(09:03):
supposed to leave a message for the person. And so
I just write down on the post it note to
Joe from Jason, that's me, and then in the message
box where you're supposed to fill out what the messages,
I just wrote, your brother died with a period on it.
Three words, your brother died with a period on it,
(09:25):
And then I put it in his box and I
just went on my day. I was just like well,
and I actually was like really proud of myself. I
was like, took care of that. That is an important message.
Got to get this to him right away. Like I
had no idea. I just didn't know how the world worked,
you know what I mean. I think that's like a
big thing when you're like eighteen or nineteen or twenty,
(09:48):
especially guys. Guys are kind of like dumber then girls,
I think at that age. And uh, and I just
was not thinking and I really patted myself on the back.
I was like, good Jason. Well, a few hours go by,
and you know, I'm doing my work at the assignment desk,
and then Joe comes in and he comes back from
(10:10):
wherever he was at, like a fire in Allstone or whatever,
and I I see him and he's like any you know,
he was like a he's like a Vietnam War vet.
He was like a real gruff dude. He wore like
the classic like photog like flak jacket, put the places
to like put film in the flat jacket, but like
no one's using film anymore, but he still wore it. Um.
(10:32):
But you know, because that was just like a look,
that's like a cameraman. Look you know, um, I mean
you would see it in like you know, kind of
like when like Mike Wallace would like if you see
any footage from Mike Wallace and like Vietnam, they would
wear these flat camo flak jackets or whatever. So I
he goes any messages, I grabbed his messages, maybe he
(10:55):
had like a few in there, and I handed to
him and like, oh, yeah right away. And I know
full well that like this is gonna be awful for
you know, for him, that he's about to get it.
But I'm just like, yeah, I guess this is how
it's got to be. Mind you. I don't know why
the ex wife like told me to tell him like that,
which I just thought was weird, Like why wouldn't the
(11:16):
ex wife just go, hey, just have him call me,
you know what I mean? Why is she sending me,
you know, to talk to the guy who's kind of
like messed up from being in Vietnam and kind of
already angry when his stuff doesn't come out of the
vending machine, you know what I mean, He's already kind
of an angry guy. I don't know why she's having
(11:37):
me do it. So he starts to walk away, and
he's not the nicest by the way, even before this
horrible thing that I did to him. But he starts
to walk away, and he's reading the messages, and I'm
watching him in the bullpen, which is like a really
big room, big open room with lots of deaths, and
I'm watching him walk away. I'm watching him read the messages,
(11:58):
and then finally he stops. He reads my message, which
is your brother died. He literally looks like he's about
to like crumble and like fall over, and he turns
around in the bullpen and he's this big, booming guy,
(12:19):
like the toughest guy in the entire company, and goes,
where's that fucking kid, where's that fucking kid? What's his name?
Your motherfucker? You motherfucker. You don't trust somebody, You don't
trust somebody that their fucking brother died like that, goddamn it.
(12:45):
And it all hits me like in that moment, I
was like, oh shit, And I was like, all right,
that would be a really bad way to tell somebody
that their brother died. And I don't know, It's one
of the most embarrassing, humiliating things I've ever done. I
(13:06):
felt so bad. I was trying to do a good thing.
He rushed the bullpend, he rushed the assignment desk, and
he had to be physically pulled away from me. He
he literally took a swing at my face. But luckily
this guy Roby, his name he got on the way,
(13:28):
that was his nickname, Roby. He was my boss. And
I remember Robie just going he's just a kid, Joe,
He's just a kid. He's like, I don't give a
funk if he's a fucking kid. He's like, you're gonna
fucking pay for this. And I was just like, I'm
so sorry, I'm so sorry, and I thought for sure
that I would get fired. They brought me in to
(13:51):
an office, the head of the assignment desk and the
head of the news division. And I sat there for
like ten minutes, and I was like, okay, well this
is this is pretty much it and uh and I
was like, well, I was like, okay, let'son learn. It
wasn't like the best job. It wasn't like a job
in sports. And the two guys, Um Dave and Roby,
(14:13):
they came in. They they looked at me really sternly,
and then they shut the door behind them, and then
they started sucking, dying laughing, and they were like that
is the funniest fucking thing. And they're like, what were
you thinking? And I was like, I don't know. I
(14:33):
was trying to do a good job. And they were
just like hysterical for like five minutes. And I remember
the offices were glass, so people was like we're watching
them laugh and I was like, you, guysol probably shouldn't laugh.
And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah probably pbably
not probably not um and then they were just like, yeah,
I just don't do it again. And then they let
me stay and I kept my job at w b
(14:53):
Z Channel four. H. That is some sweet, sweet schadenfreud
are right there. I feel like the modern day equivalent
of what Jason did would be sending your boss a
text message that said your brother is dead skull emoji
(15:14):
ghost emoji prayer hands. I don't know about you, guys,
but I'm feeling better about myself already. If somehow you're
not already following Jason Nash on all platforms, I highly
recommend you go and do that now. Also make sure
to check out his podcast views, co hosted by none
other than the mischievous yet generous boy king of the Internet,
David Dobre. Not that they need my plug, but there
(15:36):
it is. Our next story comes to us from the
t FU subreddit, also known as today I Let up
and you may want to pop a mouth guard in
because it's gonna make you cringe so hard you may
crack a tooth. Stress has always gotten to me pretty easily,
but the last few weeks or so have really been
(15:57):
something else. Aside from major examinations coming up, pressure to
do well for my family, and a sphere lack of sleep,
my wisdom teeth were also getting removed in a few days,
which I was extremely anxious about, and altogether I was
having a pretty bad time coping with it. Also, being
(16:18):
the horny teenager I am, I often find solace in
my penis and it's best buddy, my right hand. So
upon returning home after getting my teeth removed and what
seemed like a dream, I laid down in my living
(16:39):
room with my family watching TV. I dozed off a
couple of times, and I was generally quite disoriented. Being
both high off in aesthetics and tired is not a
good combination. So after waking feeling drowsier than ever. The
(17:01):
upcoming exams dawned on me once again, especially since I
had done next to no studying at the time and
not really caring to face the problems that troubled me.
I decided to reunite the dynamic duo that being my
right hand and my beloved penis and just forget about
(17:26):
it all. So off I went. Except I forgot one thing.
I was still in the living room in full view
of my entire family. Somehow, my gassed up, tired brain
managed to convince me that I was not, in fact
sitting with my family by our TV, but was instead
(17:48):
comfortably laying in bed in my own room. No, I
don't really understand how or why it happened. A few
seconds in and I began to notice the puzzled eyes
that curiously seemed to be looking right at me, with
expressions that transitioned from shock at my brazen meat smashing
(18:12):
to anger and outrage, accompanied by a little intense giggling.
It's yeah. I snapped out of it, of course, realizing
the insanity of my actions, and beheld the pure, unfiltered
embarrassment I had put myself in. I'm not going to
(18:35):
talk about what happened next, as I don't want to
relive the next few moments. But my father is just disappointed.
He hasn't talk to me much recently, and the long,
awkward silences on the drives home are not too pleasant.
(18:57):
My mother uh believes that we should embrace my sexuality
and is potentially setting up a group therapy session. As
I write this now here, I am to study in
my ass off, pouring through books. It's a good excuse
to be alone. I find myself hoping that none of
(19:20):
it really happened, that maybe I was just dreaming while
I was cast up. But it did happen, and boy
does life suck right now? Wow, let's uh, let's give
(19:44):
that kid a hand. He must have felt like a
real jerk. I mean, if I were that kid, I
would move out. You know, I would just beat it. Okay,
I'm done, I'm done moving along. Social media makes it
(20:06):
so easy to connect with old friends and make new ones.
It also makes it incredibly easy to embarrass yourself from
the comfort of your own home. Seriously, you can lay
in your bed all alone, eating candy bars and still
somehow find yourself in an embarrassing situation. Of your very
own making, and our last storyteller, Charlie also known as
(20:28):
Critical also known as Penguin Zero, knows this all too well.
I don't think I've ever shared a story about myself
so embarrassing that it changes the way you look at me.
I've shared a lot of embarrassing stories with girls and
ship that I've had in the past, but nothing that's
so goddamn game changing, lee cringe inducing that you vomit
(20:49):
and think less of me. Until today. I was trying
to think of a story that I wanted to talk
about because I wanted to tell a really embarrassing one today.
But I wanted to like amp this ship up to
like the highest fucking level I could. So I was
going to my past, of which there is a myriad
of embarrassing stories to choose, but I wanted to find
the perfect one. And then I remembered something that made
me sick to my goddamn stomach. So I can't wait
(21:09):
to share it with all of you. So to preface this,
this happened in high school. The year is two thousand
and eleven. This was right after my third lung collapse.
If you've been following me for a while you know,
my lung collapse three times, and the last time it
happened was two thousand eleven. Well, in two thousand eleven,
I got surgery to have it fixed. And before I
went into surgery, there was a girl I had a
(21:30):
crush on that had just added me back on Facebook,
and I decided I'd send her like this goddamn scholarly
orrah I love you message to her. And we had
never spoken. So this girl and I never spoke once
in our lives, and not even by accident. If I
farted somewhere in school, there's no way she would ever
fucking smell it, because we were never even close to
each other in any sense of the word. The only
(21:52):
reason we even knew about each other, rather, the only
reason I knew about her was because she was a
cheerleader and I played basketball. Other than that, no communication, literally,
not even eye contact. And yet, for some reason, in
two thousand eleven, I sent this girl the most disgustingly
embarrassing messages when I was in the hospital. I haven't
(22:12):
read them. I screenshot at them today and I sent
them to myself so I could read them to you
today and we can experience this together. As a lesson
in how not to ever approach a woman in any
any way. Uh so, allow me please pick up artists legend.
Charlie is going to guide you through the how don't
the doknots of women. So let's go ahead and get
(22:33):
into these messages here, so ace pussy slang god. Charles
in two thousand eleven leads with I know you and
I have never talked, but I just wanted to tell
you that you are one of the most beautiful girls
I've ever seen. Now, some of you might hear that
and think I came on a little too strong. Looking
back on it now hindsight, I don't think I came
on strong enough. I should have lead with I love you,
(22:54):
signed Charles, and then like a little kiss and then,
uh you know, maybe go from there. So after I
said this, she responds with a simple question mark, nothing else,
just one character, a question mark. I was already in
the hospital. But if I wasn't that right there would
have sent me in the hospital with fucking cardiac arrest.
That ship hurts so goddamn bad at the time, But
I mean, what what can you expect when someone leads
(23:15):
with some ship like this? This is a kind of
ship you see on Twitter with like a bad English
associated with it, with a sin Bob's in bitch, Lasagna please,
Vagina looked good with penis and stuff like that. It's
a creepy message. Any girl should respond with a question
mark or nothing at all. But anyway, my my spirits
weren't to turn. I continued, Yeah, I'm in the hospital,
(23:36):
and just said, fuck it, it's worth a try. You
probably don't think the same. You probably don't think the
same about me, But I just wanted to say that
that's some are nice guys ship right there. Jesus Christ.
Well this is pretty fucking bad. Let's keep going to that.
She says, Oh, I'm sorry, frownie face, but thanks. I
guess why are you in the hospital. I'm surprised she
(23:59):
even believed I was in the hospital, To be honest,
he got a fucking stranger coming at you, pretending like
he's going off to war and sending a love letter
out there like some goddamn type of anime. If someone
sent me ship like this, would be like, yeah, sure, buddy,
I'm sure you're in the hospital. We have small dick
syndrome going on. There's no cure get out of my
d m S. I have recurrent new moth. I have
(24:20):
recurrent new mo thorax in my left lung. It has
collapsed three times, and tomorrow I have surgery to repair it.
Sad Violin's plan. I'm sure when I was typing this,
I just wanted to tell you that before I had
the surgery. I know that it is a weird way
to start a conversation. I also know that I came
on way too strong telling you that self awareness key key,
(24:40):
even back then, I had it. Even back then, I'm like, Jesus,
I'm sounding really fucking weird, but I'm still going for it.
Didn't stop me. Should have stopped me, to be honest. Yeah,
that's the lesson to take away here. Don't do this.
You know, at this when you when you're starting to recognize, like,
holy sh it, this is too strong and I'm being
very weird. Just stop. So Anyway, she asked about the
surgery and ship nothing to talk about there. But then
(25:02):
as we're starting to wrap up, I say, just wondering,
do you know who I am? If you don't, I
bet this is the most fucked up conversation you've ever
been a part of. I mean, yeah, that's that's definitely
a funked up way of going about things. Past Charles
Jesus Christ. I sound like some type of spoiled rich kid.
Do you do you know who my father is? He
invented bing and I'm a big deal. Please just please
(25:24):
love me? Please, God damn it in the hospital for
God's six? Do you know who I am? God? These
are such embarrassing messages, She says, uh ha ha, No,
I don't know who you are, like i've seen you,
but that's it. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's that sounds
about right. I was a very odd guy, odd looking
to I had this really weird fun out in my
hair looks like it now, but back then I had
an even weirder hairstyle where I shaved all like the side,
(25:48):
the back, and the top of my head like it
was a one with the clippers. But the front was
about as long as it is now, so everything was
pretty shaven except the bangs. So that was an I
was a fucking moods. It could be hard to forget
what I would be hard not to see me and
make fun of me. I was one step shy of
like a trench coat Fedora wearing fucking loser in high school.
(26:09):
I really was, so yeah, it makes sense that she
at least remembered what I looked like, because I was.
I looked like a goddamn sucking psychopath. So to that,
I said, oh, sorry, that this is weird for you. Huh.
The only way to make things like this not weird
is to keep saying, yeah, it's probably weird right that way,
it's takes attention off. It's like, oh, he's saying it's weird.
It can't be weird if he keeps talking about how
(26:30):
weird it is. All right, it makes sense like pretty
much every fucking line I say in here is about
how weird it is, and yet I keep going to that.
She says, I don't mind at all. So then in closing,
this is a this is my finisher, this is my
Immortal Kombat fatality, my big grand finale. Here. Alright, cool,
Maybe when we when I get out of here, we
(26:50):
can talk more so I can get to know you
a little better. I'm not as weird as this conversation
makes me seem, you know. You know. Little road tip
to the ladies, don't take someone up on that offer.
They most likely are pretty fucking socially enough. I certainly
was a d We never talked after this. I can't
(27:10):
imagine why, but we never spoke or anything. Nothing ever
came of this. Unsurprisingly, however, I'm sure if we did,
I would have been still just as socially enough talking
in person as I was on the Facebook messenger. So
the listen, ladies and gentlemen, don't be weird. That's always
the advice I give to someone going into college and ship.
Just don't be weird, don't be super forward, don't be
(27:34):
super out there. Just be normal, normal conversations. Let things
you know, simmer developed, you know, sniff things out. Don't
just come in their guns blazing, jerking off. I love you?
Do you love me? Like, come on, come on, Tony eleven, Charlie.
I look back on ship like this, and like Jesus Christ,
I didn't. I never recognized how bad I was until, like,
(27:56):
you know, you get older, so you know, it's pretty
embarrassing story. Maybe is that is embarrassing for listening to it,
But for me recollecting on this, it's fucking bad. Man,
Like Jesus Christ, that girl is probably scared for a
fucking life. Thank you have be tossing pebbles that are
window late at night like two am. Hey, did you
think about me in the hospital? I'm all right now
(28:16):
you want to talk ship man. Well that's the end
of the story. Another nice tale for the compendium of
awful interactions I've had with women, all of which being
my fault from my past. So yeah, fuck yeah, that's it.
So yeah. I think the moral of this story is
(28:38):
never surgery and facebook oddly specific really no good can
come of it ever. And also, don't be a creep.
But if you do a creep thing, recognize you did it,
admit the creepiness, make a YouTube video about it, and
then be a better person. I'm sure there's a few
people out there who could learn a thing or two
from Charlie's story. For more moist, critical content, subscribe to
(28:59):
his YouTube channe and a Twitch, or check out his podcast,
the Official Podcast. And there you have it. Not only
did you learn a new word today, but you felt it,
you experienced it. Let's practice it one more time. Rip
it after me, shot and Fred excellent, great job. You
cringe some cringes and if you're like me, you shuddered
(29:21):
in your soul. I'd like to give a huge shout
out to our storytellers, Jason Nash Critical and the anonymous
masturbation Boy. Wherever you are. You can find more info
about them and links to their channels in the description.
Until next time, my little shod in Freudian loving fable babies.
Oh oh crap. Okay, all right, I think I've been
spotted because there is a very attractive, yet stern, principal
(29:44):
looking lady be lining towards me right now. Oh my god, what,
oh my god, is that Carly Hurts? It is Carly.
I would recognize that disapproving scowl any day of the week.
Oh shit, shit, shit shit, How do I get out
of here? I am not I am not paired for this.
I'm wearing freaking George right now, and I'm having a
mediocre here day at best. Crab grab grabs here. Okay,
(30:07):
I'm sorry, I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm just trespassing. Sorry,
you look familiar crab to recognized. Man. I gotta I
gotta get at it. Is that? Oh my goodness, it
is No, it's no, it's not. It's not wherever you
think I am. I am not him. Oh my god.
Shall long time don't see. Do you have a horrifyingly
(30:29):
embarrassing story that made do you want to fake being
sick for the rest of your life? We'd love to
hear about it. Type up your story or send an
audio file to Storytime at collab dot Inc. And maybe
we'll share our favorites on an upcoming episode. If you're
enjoying the podcast, please leave a review, give us a rating,
and share it with a friend. Helps us out a lot.
Story Time is a production of I Heart Radio and
(30:50):
Collab executive producers Eric Jack's Song King and Will McFadden.
Hosted by Will McFadden, Produced by Jessica Eccles, Jason Shapiro,
Jenny Elmer and Danielle Mora. Written by Jenny Elmer, voice
acting by Thom Sismanski and Jenny Elmer, sound designed by
Tony Maddock's original score by Scott Simons, cover art by
John Kusagaya and animation by Bella bushm
Host
Will McFadden
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