How To Survive Your First Year Teaching K-12 Part 2

Join 26 year K-12 veteran teacher Ms. Iyshaa Roberson break down a few tips that evey K-12 first year teachers should know. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yea, I don't want to ask your question. Real good, let's
just keep it real straight. Shout with no chasing. I'm
gonna get a little bit rougher. I'm here for it.
Those who really believe in the American process, all of
us street shot, no chase with your girl tessling figure

(00:22):
out on the Black Effect podcast. Net work work all right,
So move them right along. You want to make sure
that you you have a strong understanding of the curriculum
and standards that you'll be teaching so that you can pivot.
All of these kind of flow together, so when those
things arise, that you're able to pivot and still not

(00:45):
abandoned best practices because you're rushed. So you want to
make sure that you understand those standards. And again along
with that, if you don't and miss somebody, it's okay
not to know. Be organized and consistent. You want to
make sure that your classroom is organized for your students.

(01:05):
You want to make sure that your students are organized,
and how you do that is you practice routines. You
want to make sure you go over routines constantly. For example,
collaboration is huge in my classroom, so every time we collaborate.
I have a set of five collaboration rules, and every
time we collaborate, we go over those rules in the beginning,

(01:27):
and not only do we go over those rules, at
the end, we reflect how would you rate yourself on
those rules? And we do it all the time until
it becomes automatic, you know, and they look forward to
let me tell you how I did in this group today.
I didn't do so well because I didn't ask questions.
But you want to make sure that you have those
your organized and you have those routines down for yourself

(01:51):
and for your students. That's very important. Answering emails. Don't
let an email. Don't open an email and say, oh,
I'm gonna come back to it, because nine times out
of ten you're probably not gonna come back to it.
The schedule's gonna be all over the place. So if
you open an email and it needs an answer, take
a second answer it right. Then. Organize your papers. Organize

(02:13):
your time. You're gonna grade on Wednesdays, I'm gonna take
my planning time to grave papers. On Tuesdays, I'm gonna
take my time to call parents. So you want to
make sure that those your times are organized, that everything
you speak to that a lot, like how often, and honestly,
like how hard is that? It's very difficult. It is
very difficult, especially if you're in a school where you

(02:36):
have a lot of meetings. I'm not gonna lie. I'm
in the last maybe seventh year of my career. Yep, yeah,
I can. I can't take it. I literally can't take it,
especially at this big age in my career, because it
just be the same stuff. But you really have to
make sure. And I've only mastered this in the last
maybe seven to ten years of my career because of

(03:00):
all the meetings and of all the pivoting and being
able to be flexible and things like that. But you
have to as much as possible stick to you know,
your organization as far as you know, grading your papers
and you know, calling parents and check in, checking student
longgs and you know all these things that go along

(03:20):
with teaching, looking at your data, pulling your small groups. Okay,
am I gonna meet with today that you know? And
even uh that that lesson planning didn't go well, how
am I going to address this next group? You know?
So being organized is going to be very very important.
Now I'm trying to chime in and co teach on

(03:40):
co train on the meeting thing, because that's something you
and I talk about all the time, how all the
time a good out to be a good outside when
you were talking about having partners and all that, I
tried to be a good outside person to try to
be positive with you in those areas because you know,
I'm always looking at liability and sinners and all of that,

(04:02):
and we talk about that, damn there every year. Probably
definitely like do y'all just don't like these meants? She
called me. Do y'all just say no? Do y'all like
these means? And I'm always trying to mind them? But well,
I already know all the I'm like be I know,
but just so those who listen me by loans, I can't.
It's just like firefighters know how to firefighters know how
to put out fires. They been right that fires there

(04:23):
will They're putting out fires. They've been putting out fires
for twenty five years. But every year we gotta go
through a training on how to put out a fire.
Because I do not go through that training. And no
matter how many times I explained to my best friends,
She's still gonna gonna have the same We literally had
the same time. Yeah, we literally had this everything liked.

(04:47):
It just don't make no sense. I'm saying, I know
it doesn't make no sense, but I know that She's like,
but then go tell them about it. I'm like, no,
it gotta I gotta tell you because if it is
found that I did not tell firefighter, right, this is
how you put out a fire poor water on. Of
course it's not wire, but I'm just being as simple
as possible. The most thing to is use a fire extinguisher.

(05:10):
That's the most obvious thing. Everybody knows to use a
vire extinguisher, No confusion, use a vire extinguer extinguisher. Not
only is it what you're trained for is a fire
by a fighter. There's also something in the law called
is what is reasonable reasonable by a person? So that's
a right. Well, just so you guys know law that says, well,

(05:32):
what a reasonable person know to put up a fire
sting to put out a fire stingtion. So even though
you're protected in that way, I steal at in the
law that's attorney, I can find a loophole that says,
because you did not tell Ayesh, even though she been
putting out fire twenty seven years. This was the one
year you didn't make us sit in this class. And

(05:52):
because she did not sit in this class and this
student got burned, you now owe me thirty million dollars.
So this a a slight on the teachers not knowing
or do knowing or knowing that y'all don't know or
what it don't make knew I knew before. It's about
what it's about, none of that. It's about making sure
your ass and that that school don't get sued because

(06:14):
now I put the liability on somebody else. Now you
might be listening saying, well, how can somebody get sued you?
I'm surprised. Yeah, And I need people to know that, Like,
it's not just about safety. I need y'all to know this.
It could also be I'll just use an example. It
could also be went to Jada's orientation in college. The

(06:35):
parents said, what resources do y'all have for ADHD? This
is a real good git. You know what resource do
y'all have a ah D? That's an actual you know, disability.
You know that's what they as disability? You know, a
set up. Okay, come and give us your paperwork, not
just talk about well, you know, I got ADHD. No,
where's your paperwork? Because once you give me that paperwork, now,

(06:57):
if I want to continue to get that funding, continue
to get that support, if I want to continue to
get whatever. Okay, the college may not shut down, but
I can shut down that funding if I have come
by and I've told you X, y Z and so
on and so forth. So always guys be looking for
all not on lists or not. But I had to
do that because me and I should go through this
every every year. I've got matter. You definitely go to

(07:21):
mean you just don't like it. You don't have to
not like it, you know, no, you don't never have
to like it. But I say, and even my attitude
upon entering, I'm like, okay, I know this is necessary
instead of going in there cussing and sh right, you know,
right right, yeah, because let's just let's just unpack that
just a little bit. You know, we love unpacking house.

(07:42):
You even when you say, when she says, my attitude
is better about it, Mamber, we talk about the Forever
Learning House. Our outlook is on things really matters, and
that matters. And I know you'll agree with this as
a teacher. And I'm just saying this as an adult
educator trainer. If I'm already going in with the mind said,
let's just use a relationship that it's a real good example.

(08:03):
Everybody know this one. If I'm already I don't want
to hear what you got to say. I already know
what he's gonna say already, and I'm already going in
with a bad outlook about it. I'm already going in
and already have my answer. I'm waiting to respond. I
don't want to anything you saying, how does the relationship
get better? So sometimes if we're not going in with
a positive attitude of saying even though I know they're
gonna say the same thing they said last year, let

(08:25):
me go in with a positive attitude of understanding the why.
Because I and the why, I might pick up something
that I did not know. That's true. It is so true,
and you so true, And you know I can use
a good example. You know this happened in real time.
I remember when Jada sent me the information for the

(08:46):
veterans for her college. She said, are they talking about you?
Because you know I always put down veteran and I say, yeah,
but I don't need to look at it. I already
know what I can and cannot get and whatever. When
we went to the orientation last week, they said, okay,
all the veteran parents, get up. I literally did not
get up. I was like, I already know what they
talking about. There's no point. I already know what they
talking about. I've been in teran long enough to know

(09:08):
what it is. But then my spirits said, just gone
to get up and go to the thing. It ain't
gonna hurt you, Jada, because Jada was They were touring
them differently, so I was just sitting there with parents,
you know. So I'm like, well, let me just go
see they talking about what's the difference. I got a
city anyway. So because I went in with the why,
I did hear about a couple of different titles that
I was unaware about because there was something that were

(09:29):
relative to after nine to eleven. I haven't had to
use anything revs A nine eleven now. Even though that
did not something I benefited from, it made me say
because they were talking about things that were happening in Texas,
specifically the Texas, and people were talking different places and
they were saying, well, it's not like that here, and
it's not like that there, And all my understanding what
veteran has always just been GI bill, federal, that's it.

(09:51):
But when they start talking at Texas, that's what made
me go, say, let me go see what's up with Florida.
And because and you notice that happen for real. Because
of that, I found a law that was only Pacific
forth Florida that allowed me to remove twenty thousand plus
dollars from my out of state tuition. I would have

(10:13):
broke like a dummy paying I'm literally moving a week early, guys,
because I need to go give my driver's license and
all that so the next year I don't have to
pay tuition. I'm moving a week early, just when this
whole time that benefit was available to me. And I
only learned that by going to that class of what
I thought I already knew. That's it. We talk about

(10:36):
this is some good stuff. That's good what we talk
about getting that our own way. Yeah, I'm talking. You
don't know everything. This is what we say. I'm a
lifelong learner, but we really got to act like it
though that You really gotta ac all the time. You
really gotta saying me, that's right in the attitude, you know,
in our attitude that has averages and Marcella's I want

(10:59):
to make sure that you're still because I know you
put in the chat. I got some question, Miss Robinson
after but I want you to ask. If it's something
that she's asking and you have a question, ask right
then while she's on that topic. Wants to waiting until
leave it. That's another thing about class interactive. Don't wait
until I get forty five minutes of information and then
say I got a question I got started way back over.

(11:20):
Ask while she's laying layer in real time, in real time.
And that's another for teachers too, Yeah, teachers too. As
don't wait to the end. Sometime you want to wait
if somebody say we wait to the end, because I'm
gonna get to that. And you know, but as we're
having an interactive conversation, asked during it, because if not
only will you get the information you need, you may
prompt her to go into something different. You'll notice, I all,

(11:43):
we got through two bullet points because we've been got
through most of them because they all intertwined and they
all and it's prompted other things too. So Bess long
winded you so top Yeah, because I like to be
a cumulative, interactive let's unpacked workshop at Peel the Onion,
because I feel that's how you learn the best that
is that is.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yeah, And I wanted to make sure you know, did
she because my question she may already said once you know,
once you go through all her That's why I.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Was like, I wait, no, I good, and I'm glad
you brought that up. And that's what I'm saying. No,
because if you asked she give her and this is
also what teachers can understand, give her the opportunity to say,
I'm gonna get to that, give a moment or you know,
let me deal with that. And now you saw her
do it in real time, she said, Tess. And I'm
glad you brought up for got what she said, she said,
But I'm glad you brought up I think it was

(12:36):
asking questions, she said, because that was one of the
things I was going to talk about and it gave
her a chance to expound. So you're not going to
throw the teacher off. We know what was trying to you,
but you don't actually make me a better teacher, a
better trainer. If you interact with me because now you're
prompting me. Well, our conversations are like this in real life, guys,
this is how me and I should talk on the ball.

(12:57):
When she's like, ooh, this is good, it's some good
stuff we talk because now I'm prompted to go more,
to go deeper, to unpacked, to this or that. Don't
wait till the end, because you're missing a blessing, the
blessing life is, and the blessing I know how to say,
wait a minute, I'll get to that. You just see
the student and ask the question because you're not. Now

(13:20):
it's becoming Michelle says, says, you give so much information
that it's like a water holes and I don't know
where to stop and stop. So if you wait till
I get to the end, you you're you actually you
actually serve me better. That's why you her teacher say
to any questions, any question before I move on, any
question before I move on. Yeah, so you don't even
say yes, I have a question. Exactly in my class,

(13:43):
we took we took a page out of Instagram. We
listen and we don't judge. When I say that hands fly, yeah,
you know when they when they they because they know
that that is a safe space where they can say, well,
understand such and such, because I'm listening and nobody is
judging because you don't understand and yeah. And in law school,

(14:03):
so that you know, they really tell you literally stop now.
Not when you go to class beause you supposed to
be prepared, but when you're briefing your cases. Every single word.
So when we talked about traditional earlier, well, a reasonable
person knows what traditional means. We all know, but I
stopped look it up. That's what law school is all about.
Every single word. You cannot just move on. You need

(14:25):
to stop right now, because if I don't stop right now,
by the time I get to whatever you think, miss
Robinson gonna get two four pos sis you lost because
you've you've missed it, because you missed a lot of contexts.
So when you're not asking in the moment, you're not
doing a service to you or me. That's trying to
get you to grab grass a concept because about concepts,

(14:47):
it's not necessarily about because I know that's one thing
that he wanted us to talk about. The difference between
teaching and training. Law school is about going to say
that to Yeah, I loved it. Law school is about concepts.
It's not necessarily remembering role versus weight or the nineteen
sixty five both right said, Yeah, you need to know that,
but you need to know the concept because that concept
applies to so many different things. And the only way

(15:07):
to know concept is to really dig deep and question
every single word. And don't just wait to ask no
question because you're not gonna pick no on that.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
No, let me ask this then, So how do how
can teachers handle like overcrowded classes?

Speaker 1 (15:32):
Because I know when I was in school it was
the classes were like overcrowded. So if it was only
supposed to be twenty five, it was like thirty. Now
wait one second, this is here a trainer of test tip. Now,
I love you, Marcella's thank you for asking questions and
allow me to teach. Let me let me train. When
I say ask her a question, I mean when she's
on that topic. So if you're in a new concept

(15:55):
meaning like you're asking something totally different, let her get
through her points. What I mean is if you have
a question on what she's talking about in that moment,
ask that. Does that make sense? Yeah, and I'm glad
to get that in real time, because yes, that's also
something that you guys have to learn. And I'll let
I should give the example in the classroom, but teaching adults,

(16:17):
I am gonna get to that because I'm gonna weave
that in. But what I'm saying is if we're talking
about if we've been talking forty five, we've been talking
an hour now, and for you not to have a question,
I wonder is it because you don't have a question
or you're waiting. So what I'm saying is, while I'm
on the topic of talking about watermelon, don't wait till
the end to ask a question about watermelon. That was
my point. Now, if you want to ask about grades,

(16:39):
let me get through my points because I may talk
about grates, if that makes sense. But I also wanted
to make sure you knew it was okay to engage,
so that it's not just ice you're not talking. Because
your questions are really good on myselves because somebody asking something,
you're asking as well. So that's why I'm an here
that you know we weren't dominating the conversation. So that
is a really good question question, especially for a first

(17:02):
year teacher, because it could be very overwhelming. So I
will go back to my step, be organized and create.
This is one of my steps that I didn't say.
You want to create a strong classroom routine, routine for
shoppening pencils, a routine for turning in your homework, a

(17:22):
routine for even asking questions that sometimes you want your
question to be spontaneous. But I tell my students when
you see me up here instructed, I need your hand
down when I say, we listen and we don't judge. Okay,
that's when it starts. Because sometimes students will try to
get teachers off track by asking silly questions, or they
want to make a job. Sometimes I'll even give my students.

(17:46):
I train them to get a sticky note. You got
a question, write it down real quick. Okay, but you
gonna give me ten minutes to get this little part
out and then I'm going to ask let you ask questions.
So you want to have a routine for everything? Routine?
How are we gonna line up? So why do you happen?
Before we go into that, explain to people why is
a routine important? The why a routine is important? So

(18:09):
everybody knows what's going on. Everybody knows where to place everything.
You want your classroom to be a well oil machine.
So routines are important to keep people safe. Routines are
important to protect the learning environment, protect the learning time.
Routines are important to protect your sanity. Honestly, but they

(18:31):
are important, especially if you like in my classroom every year,
I have upwards to twenty nine to thirty students. But
it doesn't FaZe me because I have a routine. When
you walk in this classroom, I want you to do
X Y Z. When you do that, I want you
to do this, and for extra precaution, if you do
all X, Y, ZB and this, then you're gonna do this.
So you're gonna have routines. You're probably gonna overplan. When

(18:54):
you get to know your students better, it's gonna become
easier because you're gonna know Johnny gonna come here, say this, Yep,
he did it. Hey boy, go sit down? What did
I tell you to do? You have something to direct
them to. Nobody is unaware of what is supposed to
happen at any givings. Now here's trainer test tapping in
the reason why I asked that, especially as you get

(19:16):
in more to you know, consulting adults and all of that.
There's a lot of like, I know you didn't say this,
but most people are like, what if I tell you
need to have routine, surely you should know why you
need a routine. You a whole grown woman. You don't
know a routine. Mean, so, I knew what a routine meant,
but for the adult learner, they need to know the
why because remember, they're not gonna ask why. They're not

(19:38):
gonna ask, well, why do you need a routine? So
the why again going back to law school. Law school
is all about the why, all about the why and
going in deeper with the why. So I wanted you
to say exactly what you said. You need a routine
because they're gonna be off the wall. You need a
routine for safety. You need a routine. Da da da da.
You need a routine, fire drill, routine, whatever it is.

(20:00):
Routine is not just you just said, no, you need
a routine. And sometimes when we're teaching adults and we say, okay,
you need to know this tip, we skip people straight
to the tip and not the why. First. Let me
first the foundation on why this routine is important, and
then too this is how. Now you do the routine.
Does that make sense? Yes? Absolutely, you need a routine

(20:21):
because people are gonna be all over the place and
they need in these air kids and they need to
know they it's a pattern, just like everything else. This
is the why. Now, this is the how. Get a
routine with your sharpening your pencils. Get a routine with
da da da dat. You get a routine. You see
what I'm saying, And you have to be consistent. You
have to be consistent with it. So Marcella's that is
the difference when you ask the BAP, the difference between

(20:43):
teaching and training. You're seeing a real time where a
teacher is telling you you need to do blah blah
blah blah blah. I'm looking from a trainer lens for
an adult educator, and that's why I'm slowing all the
way down and breaking down even what seems to be
simple or reasonable, just to make sure they really grasp it.

(21:04):
Because the concept. Remember, if we just tell you, just
get a routine, they'll take this and just get a routine.
But I'm like no learner to know the why. You
know why, because if something throws that off, you can
apply their concept. Yes, how do we use another example?
Let me use another example. That's not that when I

(21:27):
if I tell Jada, lock your door, no matter what,
no matter if it's the house door, the car door,
the whatever, always double check the lock her if she
does her locks differently like her car that does a beat.
When I called her not checking at the lock, she said,
I listen for the beat. No, I'm trying to train

(21:47):
her not to listen for the beef on the car,
not to listen for the click on the door, not
to oh, well you lock it this way with the
key list this way. I am teaching her routine to
lock it manually on all locks. Are y'all following me?
I teach the concept of on all locks, then, no
matter what lock she's standing in front of, she knows

(22:08):
she needs to lock it manually. When you are training
adults who have already been trained to do something one way,
comener adults already they they big age, are very hard
to train because r mindset is i'n't already been I
don't already did this for forty years, that's right, I

(22:29):
just coming from the K through twelve. This is their
first time learning. So you're eventually learning with you every
day is different. It is so their learning experience is
different than me trying to get Marcel's to look at
something different at this age. So as a trainer, now
I gotta get you to know the why and the
concept like we did with the meetings. You know why,

(22:51):
but I got to drill it in every chance I get,
so that now we can change our big age routine
to now be open to the concept because if I
get your concept, it will apply everywhere. And that's what
the law is, guys, because the law may be one
thing in Florida and something totally different in Georgia. But

(23:13):
if you don't understand the concept of battery, the concept
of assault, the concept, then you don't do well as
a lawyer. And that's what they call lawyering skills. A
lot of people do really, really well. They know the laws,
they did say that, but then when it comes down
the trial, they can't apply the concept. Well you know
what I mean. They don't know how to plot. You
can't you all over the place because you're not grasping

(23:35):
the concept. And that's why you hear me do a
lot of metaphors and analogies and what I say, let's
make it a simpler metaphor because they lets you know,
I got you to grasp the concept. Once you get
the concept, and usually people do when everybody use relationships,
yeah huh, I get it. And that's what I want
teaching adults, because we have enough concepts in life. You're
enough season that I can use enough, you know, to

(23:58):
be like, Okay, he didn't understand it that way, let
me try it this way. Okay, you din't understand it
this way, let me try that way. You see what
I'm saying. If I tell him saying do not cheat,
well he should already know not to cheat. Our bow
said to me. Yea, no, I know, but I need
to say it every year. I gotta say it every
year because if I walk out, we want to make sure,
well I thought you did. I forgot. Don't know you
didn't forget because I told you last year. I know

(24:21):
everybody said it that one, So this ain't nobody doing
that in no relationship? Well I told you in the beginning. No, no, no,
we got to keep on re upping this continued education
every year. Well, if I gotta keep doing gen education,
I don't want to be in no relationship I guess
she ain't gonna be one because it's constantly continuing that
do all the same phase and expectations of the relationship.
And that's the same thing with those means, well, why

(24:42):
I've been married twice seven years, he should already know
to give flowers or automatically. No. No, we want to
make sure everybody on the same page, so that if
I got an attitude, you know why, if I want
to relationship, you know why if I ain't happy, we
don't have to be confused because you haven't done the
things according to the continued education. I know you said
it twenty seven years ago, but we must have to

(25:03):
so that we clear about why I got an attitude right, well,
the concept, that concept applies across the board. That's why
I love concepts because adults, Yes, we can choose from
so thank you man, yes, but that it's I think
I'm gone through all of my my points, my seven points.

(25:23):
Of course there probably will be more, but to me
those but we did. We unpacked a lot of uh
of information for first year teachers. And that's another thing.
They get so overwhelmed, Lord, because I know I get
overwhelm every year. I'm like Okay, that's when I have
to stop. I have to write things down. Oh I'm
gonna writing things down. Oh yeah, you have to write

(25:45):
them down. People really do take offense to writing stuff down.
You know. That's another thing with adults. I don't need
to write it down. I don't need to write down,
especially if they're struggling internally, like with ADHD or some
trauma that made them feel stupid for writing stuff down. Yeah,
that's the biggest tip I can say for anybody period.
I write down everything. Yeah, I mean when I mean right,
you know, put it on my calendar, like everything, every task.

(26:07):
Ye take up the trash call this call that. I
have a task on my calendar for everything your task
should have. If you look at my count, I got
about six sevent different colors, you know. I got a
household calendar. What's going on with Jada? I got a business,
I got this, I got that. I write down everything, guys,
and as I've been studying, even in our pre law

(26:29):
school course, even back, I'm back to old school writing too. Like,
don't take that for granted. Like old school writing. That's
the only way I write on a list. Oh you doing?
Oh yeah, yeah, I write it down. I use your
memory too, that is, you know, you're absolutely right. I
use my phone because my business is heavy digital, you know,
so I have to. I'm on my phone all day,

(26:52):
you know. So for me, my phone is an extension
of me as far as my scheduley. It's interesting because
during the day, you know, I don't am my phone
at all, correct, because I'm with all those kids, So
I have to grab a piece of paper and write. Ye. Put.
That's a great point. So again, knowing your task and
what works for you. Another political just another political tip

(27:14):
for those of you that may work on candidates at all.
That was one of the things I had to work
with Michelle. If she has a candidate, she has a candidate,
a candidate she worked with before that insists on things
being right down, but she has to use digital. And
I tell her when I'm setting up expectation with a client,
I insist on you doing it the way I'm doing it.
You have to your job. You have to because my

(27:34):
job is keep you on point. So me trying to
adjust to you and I'm my job the point that
don't make no sense, So we're gonna have to come
in if I'm writing it you're gonna be using digital
if I'm if I'm using digital, you're gonna be writing
it like we're gonna have to figure it out because
if I'm adjusting to you, I can't be successful for you.
And how I think how I learned and how I right? Right,

(27:54):
and yet it is critical. But I will literally put
that in my contract. She's like, I never thought about that.
Oh yes, if you aren't refuse to check email, I
will not work with you. I don't care what you charge, right,
because when you were saying check your email every day,
and my word, like, who got to tell you to check? Like?
Do it right? Then? You know? So if you if
you were to no, no, no, I no, I'm not surprised.

(28:16):
I'm very well aware. Except putting my contract. I was saying,
who says that? Who has to say that? Oh no,
I'm sorry there was a time you didn't check. You
didn't like emails. I don't know football, but I know
they got a check right. But no, Oh, who's surprised.
Oh no, I'm not working without people. I'm never surprised.

(28:36):
That's why I have to put it in the car.
If you are somebody that refuses to use technology, if
you refuse use technology, we cannot work together. It's almost
to a point, and it might even be to a
point where, like Marcella's, I got to get him my
iPhone at some point, because it's not just about wanting
an iPhone or liking our phone. It's about because we're

(28:57):
I moved so fast and Dad is moving so fast.
I literally have to take time to send him a
link to his email. If he had an iPhone, I
could copy and paste it from my computer to my phone,
to vice versa. So when I'm sending him a link
to my show, I can't just send it to him
in his iPhone a text. I have to literally take
time and send it in an email. If he had
an iPhone to send him in his text and he
could cop and and open it up on his laptop.

(29:19):
Now to me, that may be well, what's the big deal. Well,
if we're doing fifty things at one time, and Marcello's
is helping me with my training, with this, with that, yeah,
you just see matters. So it's not just like an
iPhone is Now do we operate? If I want to
send Marcello's a big file, I can't send it to
him because he has an Android. No, I have an iPhone.

(29:41):
You got a eyeball. You don't have Why I used
to stand it what I said, an android? Oh my god,
Oh my god. But she's my leisure friend. She wasn't
in business, so it didn't matter. You know whatever I'm
sending her. I guess it can wait. I guess it.
Didn't have no choice. But if we were in business,

(30:03):
Oh hell no, I'm not getting ready to have to
dumb no foul down. And I gotta send it in
a link, and I gotta upload it the YouTube so
she can open it up on the phone. Exchanged information
too much to appase for that, You know what I mean?
It would be hard. It will be literally impossible. Charlemagne
and I text one hundred and fifty times a day.
If he had an Android, it would, I mean literally

(30:24):
be impossible because of the data that we send. Wow,
you know what I mean. So it's not just oh no,
I like an iPhone because it's better. No, it's efficiency
for my problem. You got to iPhone myself, you don't have. Basically,
she got an upgrading. That was yeah no, she said,

(30:46):
yeah no. Because as we grow more in this business,
as I'm making it clear, I'm not. I'm not hiring
a bunch of fifty people to work with me. So
I need you to be as efficient as possible, you
know what I mean. I need you to be able
to as soon as a budget is available. Yeah, we
need you on Mac because it does make a difference,
you know, with how I'm sending you information. That copy

(31:08):
and paste feature is amazing. Like for real, Like if
I see a story on my phone that I need
to put on my Google doc on my laptop, and
I see that story, all I gotta do is copy.
I go straight to my laptop paste all day. I
got my laptop in my hand and my phone in
my hand, you know what I mean. So I need
those things to be talking to each other. And that's

(31:30):
why a lot of people. By the way, so that
y'all know, if your man refused to get Max and
iPhones and all that, that's why they don't like Max
and iPhones because they talk. Well, I got an iPhone too, finally,

(31:50):
so hey, no, I'm excited about it because I can't
stand it. And then me and I actually was in
business and I was depending on her to check reels
on Instagram. We can have z because I sent up
a million reels that used to drive you crazy. It
is crazy because she scrolled all the time. So I
even had to ask so and it's a good tip

(32:13):
of that. I'll let you go. I say, fo where
what do you check first? Even with Michelle? What is
your first? Your messages first? Or your Instagram first? Because
when Michelle, we had to get an understanding because we
were doing business together. Now I should it's leisure. You know,
I'm sending her dumb stuff so she can check it
whatever time, you know, no big jail. But with Michelle, no,
we'd had to tell me what's your your preference? Are

(32:34):
you text or so we literally had to set it up. Okay,
if I'm sending you something that's bullshit that I don't
need your attention, I'll send it to your DM because
that's just if I. If I need your attention on something, Michelle,
I'm texting you meaning I need a response it's urgent.
But Shelle's way of responding was her important things were email.
She was like, I work off. If it's something you

(32:55):
need a response on, send me an email. Okay, Beck,
So now I know because I can do either one.
I can do either one. It wasn't always urgent per
se for me, because again, remember me and shall we're
just working fast. It's not an urgency thing. It's an
efficient thing. Yeah. Where in your world with texting with
your family, you're like, oh, okay, if he's texting me,

(33:15):
it's important. But when you live in a text world
with business colleagues, it may not be urgent. It's prioritizing,
if that makes sense, right. So if I send an email,
Michelle was like, okay, the things you need me to
respond on, I need an email. She has ADHD and
so she's like, I need an email because I need
to be able to set it to the side. Okay,

(33:36):
let me do this, let me do this task, this, this.
That's how she worked effectively me. I can work all
over the place. I can answer emails and text men's
at the same time, and reels and this and that
and and don't prove my focus on because I'm gonna
do I'm gonna do it right there to move it
out the way right. That need a little bit more structure.
Email worked better, I said, Okay, that's all I need

(33:58):
is to know, so now I can know how to
communicate with you. I need an answer from Michelle on this,
I'm gonna send an email if I'm sending you something random,
don't feel the need the pressure to respond back. If
I send it to your real that's just something being fun.
So communication style is critically important, really important. Did they

(34:19):
do one in the military?

Speaker 2 (34:21):
You had the multiitask like say stuff and texts and
email at the same time.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Well, when I was in, that's gonna date myself. You
weren't getting information that way. But I can just tell
you the code of conduct for the military is you're
gonna get it in and get it done by days in.
And it don't matter how it's gonna come to you.
That that's gonna be at Nobody perfect communication style, just
waiting to you to do it. You're gonna get it
done right then that's that's the military whole period. Yeah,

(34:49):
don't nobody care about it. If you can't multitask, don't
nobody care about That's why I'm focused on veterans. Don't
nobody care about will work best for you and what
you think? Well, you know, I like to do with this.
See that's the union talk that you that was going
up through twin collaborate. What's learning style the military don't

(35:14):
work like that. The military is days in bottom most
and that's it. And that's why I don't. That's why
I don't conform a lot in the civilian work, not
only because I don't conform likes of anywhere. Just so
that you know, my mother was like that and she
was not a military person. So my so our first parents,
and they were like that, most of them. We got

(35:36):
some trash and our day let's say our parents. Let's
just say, oh, okay, well, our parents. We got to
be clear about it because they know most because that
show didn't I sting correcting, because my mama didn't care
how I got it. There, that's all that me and you.
That's your mama and my mama, which by the way,
Ash's mom was my grand my godmother. That was how
we was raised. You put it on no era and

(35:58):
no generation. That is plenty of y'all clearly didn't get it.
And you know how we know because y'all kids ain't
got it, and y'all kids kids ain't got it, y'all,
So that that was definitely just a very small even
even the people we grew up with, respectfully, clearly they
wasn't on the same page. We was all so no, right,

(36:20):
that was exclusive exclusive types. She's like, well, I'm getting
to see. Well, technically, in my day, you just had
to do it, you know, all of a sudden it
was no question asked, right, Yeah, this is working with you,
this collaborative, what worked best and what time you think
you can get to it? And you know I'm empowering
you to this and that you was on the phone

(36:41):
when I did it the other day. I want you
respectful of you and your time and your personal space.
Girl won't know nothing about none of that when I
grew up here, and I'm glad you're getting all it
I didn't get because when I grew up it wasn't
no personal space and personal boundaries and no, the show
wasn't none of that. This show wasn't no. Yeah, wasn't

(37:03):
no unions except my said, hey, they didn't get no notice. Yeah,
you better have these dishes washed for get it in
this hound, and they better be They don't let no
pants soak either soaking, run, washed and dry or put away.

(37:24):
I bet no, I'm soap, no soaking. I'm trying to
let it sow. No, look, scrubs. I know this wouldn't
get it. I bet Marcella's used that soaking line plenty
of times off the truckle.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
No, because we had we used the the dish wash.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Don't you dare say this was Are you getting ready
to say dish washing? That's another thing. He got the
job though. We Yeah, nice one to wed When that
missed didn't work. The dish washers, I was dead. They

(38:06):
were washed the dishes, bottom line and bottom, having it
down and all of that too. Marcella's it's not just
put loading up the dish washing and wiping up. Anna
sweep that floor. Listen them counters that be wiped down,
all of that and on that stove.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
I did that too, because of course I was the oldest,
so I had to do all the chores. And you know,
you know, I had to ask if I have no
choice when I got to do all the guess what?
My guess what? We're the only child, so guess what.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
Don't body feel somethy only we did it all? We
were hulling eachaill, y'all love, I was your love. I
was the oldest. Guess what you had to do it all?
I was the oldest and the youngest in the middle
it was, and let's in that myth right now, did
y'all love saying now that y'all got away? No, not

(39:05):
in this house, we didn't. These only children on this
line right here had to push them. Oh for everybody
pull long and in the middle wasn't no damn date.
So when I'm old wild not to do it all,
guess one, I said, I hadn't it all because it
wasn't no when it split, nothing nothing but the abody
feels sorry for you, dad, And I even got in

(39:29):
trouble for children that wasn't even in my own She
showed me when novel didn't watch, I should we even
had what if we if we spent the night, we
y'all had a lot I should get in trouble for
even then they had not to do with us. She
didn't even go Therebody didn't even. It wasn't even me.
Wasn't even I got in trouble because she said, the
bottom line of it, you knew better and you should
have kept read lot o. God, it feels sorry. Steve.

(39:54):
Marcella's all in there and do them dishes and it
better not be near soaking. And after that you better
watch coke purple. That's it. Thought he said something. You
don't really thought he said something. Question, I still you
know me? No, No, I don't understand why why my
brothers don't have no chores. Well guess what you ain't

(40:15):
got We're gonna be equal around here. Well, well, I'm
telling you you would have never made it to my
house because it wasn't no equal. No, I said it.
I mean I you know, I had a bloody lip
after that, but I still said it. Though. No, that's
just it. I'm just letting you know, nobody feel sorry

(40:36):
for you. This is just a matter because all the
responsibility fail on me. You know, all of them felt
that there was nobody to push it on, to ask
why not? And what about wasn't no, was he broke
the lamp? It really wasn't me. If the lamp was broke,
it was me. Yeah, And and that and that's why

(40:57):
I operate the way I operate right now. That's why
I can operate solo. That's why I can operate without
saying what about them? That's why I can move forward
with this training without worrying about that party doing what
the Republican part are doing, what they doing, what they
did what they did. That's why I can operate the
way I operate. That's why even they don't need I
know what to do. I don't know about them, but
I don't know. She tried her own responsibility. And that comes.

(41:20):
That comes when you on the child raised. Right now,
I'm not talking about all the children that get away
with stuff, but when you was raised, when we was raised,
you gonna stand on it, and you're gonna stand one
thing about it. My character gonna stand. I'm responsible for that, right, Nobody,
Nobody changes how I move, not a mass. When he
did it. I didn't have that when they did it.

(41:40):
How come I can't do it? I all know it's
what I told you to do this? What did I
tell you to do that? My child? Y'all? Man, that's
the favorite one. You my child, don't care what they did?
You mind, I don't care what they did. And again,
and I'll say this before we close. Concept. When you
understand that concept, if we even use that, it applies

(42:01):
to every single thing in my life. Obombing a relationship
and a man is cheating and acting a fool. Now,
plenty of people do tip or tatty. He doing it.
I'm doing it. Oh, it's a problem when they do it.
What's that song? Is cool? When they do it's probably
when I do it and all that. And when it
comes to my character, you can't make me get out
of me because my character is my character and I

(42:22):
ain't got no problem. Hey, for those of y'all who
do timple tat, I'm with it, do it sometime they
need to see it. But I'm talking about me though.
I don't operate based on what you do. The concept
of knowing that I the buck stops with me. That's it,
buck stops with me. I'm responding everything I do, and
they got nothing to do. Was sitting around where about
what everybody else didn't do. That's it. That's the difference,

(42:44):
and that's why I operate the way I operate. The
concept I applied across the board. That'sten. So we had
one final tip is you better understand concepts. We don't
have to unpack some more. That's good. Yeah, that's good.
Concepts are deep and that's why you can have because
it goes into your character. You and I can be

(43:05):
different in many ways, but our fundamental foundational principles of values. Yeah,
oh yeah, no, we alive because then concepts got to
a lie and it I tell you what to do
in your life, and you tell me what to do
about No, it's nothing to do with that. It's just
no the cold, they say. I always say, man, you
gotta have a cold. What's your cold? And that's it.

(43:27):
You ain't got no cold. And when you don't have
the cold, you all over the place. And that's those
little tips that you're saying. Stratage, knowing the culture, knowing
the cold, knowing how to crash out, not the crash out,
how the boy, knowing routine, knowing that you basically tell
about this is how you set up your cold. This
is your cosit on how to survive. And anybody that

(43:50):
don't have a cold, you ain't gonna survive. You're not
gonna survive. You're not gonna survive marriage, relationship, friendship, The
gotta be a cold. I've been this woman's friend since
I was ten years old, and we ain't never had
no thought out, no argument over nothing, nothing at all,
not man, not this that whatever we have giff us
of opinion, but never a shout that never I can't believe,

(44:12):
never a question and doubt of trust or nothing. So baby.
That means knowing how to live by a cold. And
I stand there and I'm proud of that. I'm proud
because everybody say that. Everybody can't they talking about Oh
you know you ain't got no friend that do that. No,
I don't listen exactly exactly. I don't know. I don't

(44:33):
know what that means. I don't know what that means.
I really, I literally don't know what it means. Come
out over the weekend. Well, you know, if you got
a homegirl, that be then and that and this and that,
and you mean tell me your homegirl ain't never. No,
I not literally don't know what you're talking about, because,
for one thing, I don't call everybody my homegirl. So
that's where that is right right now. I got two messories.

(44:54):
That's it, y'all need to understand that, y'all. I don't
want no bunch of boxes. I don't want no. I
don't cause you're talking. If you if your home girl
see you out and see me out when she say something?
If you with another woman, another man, and I would
I say something, not say something? But who says something?
Hey man, I don't know what the hell you talking about?
Both of my pastors are there twenty five damn years.

(45:15):
So I don't know talking about and I don't speak
on nothing in a relationship, not this dad whatever. I'm
a good ear, good friend, you know, we talk. But
all of this you talking about, like this Hollywood, this
a housewife type of whatever y'all are. Yeah, veryl I
don't know nothing about that. My homegirl, my best friend's

(45:35):
husband is my brother in law. So I don't know
what y'all talking about, you know what, I like, sir,
I don't know what y'all talking bus I don't know
how to relate to what y'all talking about. Yes, I
see my friend being hurt, and I see something that
she should know, of course, but I'm not even in
those situations because I wouldn't even be in situations because
I don't operate. That ain't the code I operate in.

(45:56):
So I wouldn't be proud to see nothing, to be
saying nothing, you know what I mean? Like, what are
you talking about? Yeah? Yeah, girl, I don't know nothing
about him talking about I really don't. You ain't never
had no friend that said this to you or that
to you know, I haven't. I'm sorry. Well, what about

(46:17):
if one friend say something a buy another friend. Ain't
nobody gonna never say nothing the ice you about me?
It ain't. Nobody would dare what dare because they know
they know, and I don't want people know they can
talk to you like that. That's the main question is
why they know they can come to talk to you
about me? Right? Because he was asking me about what

(46:38):
other people say. I don't give that about wouldn't know
what they talking about because they ain't none of my friends.
You got too many friends telling you, like, what's up
with me? Or what about this? She's doing this and
doing that. I don't have that kind of messy ass worlds. Yeah,
because first of all, everybody don't get access to me
that way. They definitely don't. And for what, I shouldn't
know who I date for real, Marcellas don't know you

(46:59):
know my boyfriend. You don't know nothing about my boyfriend
and won't and it ain't I don't. I don't trust Marcella.
I just don't. Ain't the told I operate by right,
my most vulnerable spots they go to aisher. So but
it ain't like you out the water boarder to get
out of and that No, marcell you ain't got to
worry about looking up nothing. He did this on history,

(47:20):
your child, Look at me. You ain't got to wear
about nothing that old baby. Yeah, that's the truth. The
cold is the cold. Y'all don't know nothing about Jada
that you done met Jada in person, Marcella. You know,
but man, I don't put Jada's pictures out of here
and all that. I I just live by a certain cold.
You ain't got to worry about knowing on Instagram or

(47:40):
none of that. Y'all looking to speak on something, y'all
better go watch Real Housewives because y'all not gonna never
speak on mine in that way. And it ain't got
nothing to do with uh hide. Nothing of my life
is quite boring, quite born. It's just I got a cold.
Concept applies across the board. When I tell y'all, day

(48:00):
they find me in my whole life. That's really the truth.
You do, you're literally with somebody who literally knows, like
literally the truth. It's really the truth. I ain't got
the lot of y'all, But that don't mean you're gonna
get to know everything. It just don't work that way, guys.
It's called a cold understanding. The concept your unknowing, your
cold gonna get you through a whole lot in life. Yeah,
don't get you through a whole lot of Like me

(48:21):
and Marcella said that. We talked about that on the
episode about birthdays, not like, yeah, I don't want no
whole UNCHI birthdays from everybody. I don't know's I shouldn't
tell me and tell me and my aunt and you know,
two of my cousins and a few others, and you
know my man and all that, and I should and
my ace husband. That's that's enough. That's fine. Yeah, let's

(48:41):
y'all keep it. But why is your birthday? Because for
what y'all it's okay, And that ain't getting up. Birthday
is just for what the people that tell me have birthday.
I also want to be the same people that know
what everything else is going on in my life. They
know everything else is going on in my life, not
I haven't talked to you, to you or a complete stranger.

(49:02):
Oh man, I know you gonna like I don't know.
I just I'm a big believer in significance and you
know things need to matter, you know what I mean?
I shouldn't know. Okay, they also know it's my birthday.
Also knows the last time I talked to my dad.
They also know it's dad. Got man. They know the
whole thing with the birthday, and they know it all.
You know what I mean. I don't I don't need no,
I don't get nothing off no random person celebrating me

(49:24):
in that way. Now, what I do want you to
celebrate is these these uh, these receipts. Now, y'all can
always celebrate. I'm all yes, say that they thank me
for my service. Yeah, thank me for my service. I'm
all about that. I'll talk about these wars. I'll talk
because that's for the public. You know, those are things
I built, Those are things. Yeah, that's for y'all. Celebrate that. Yeah, yeah,

(49:46):
you will high be glad about law school. For some
of y'all gonna need a retainer a well, get into that.
But as far as my personal life, I don't need y'all.
My personal life it ain't gonna make and your life
ain't gonna make no deal on knowing what's going on
in my personal life. It ain't right. It don't mean
I don't use examples or share. Hell, that's how y'all
know about ice. So it's not that I don't talk

(50:07):
about things. I'm just I'm just real clear about significance
and who matters and who don't matter, and what you
need access to. And that's the concept of understanding the cold.
So you may need to do a show about cold
cold concepting because y'all clearly don't have one and it shows.
All right, guys, Well, thank you so much. Guys. This
was way longer than I expected. We're gonna divide this

(50:28):
up there. It was very good. If you've been listening
to the podcast, you know, our podcast, just like you're
just listening in on a conversation, all right, was I
get I go beer off and start talking at something
else and I'm just your homegirl listening. And the great
thing about it you can pause and stop it and
go back. I do appreciate your support. We're gonna continue
this how to. I'm gonna do better with keeping it down.

(50:49):
But I couldn't help it because there's so mu stuff
we could unpack. Yah found some good information how to
survive your first year of teaching K through twelve with Robinson.
Thank you so much, Dee for joining us. Thank you
for having me. Absolutely if you like what you heard
on straight Shot No Chaser. Please subscribe and drop a

(51:09):
five star review and tell a friend. Straight Shot No
Chaser is a production of the Black Effect podcast Network
in iHeartRadio on TESZLM, figure out, and I like to
thank our producer editor mixer Dwayne Crawford and our executive
producer Charlotmagne to God. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.