All Episodes

September 30, 2025 • 89 mins

What does it mean to wear glasses? What does it mean to have dyed hair? What does it mean to use deodorant? What does it mean… to be free? We are joined by our friend Julio Torres to answer these questions definitively and finally. You have ONE MORE WEEK to see Julio’s show COLOR THEORIES at Performance Space New York. Tickets at color-theories.com!

GET TICKETS TO OUR SUMMER/FALL TOUR HERE: linktree.com/straightiolab

CALL US at 385-GAY-GUYS to leave questions and comments for our next surprise call-in show and you just might hear your call on your favorite podcast. 

STRAIGHTIOLAB MERCH: cottonbureau.com/people/straightiolab  

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON at patreon.com/straightiolab for bonus episodes twice a month and don't forget to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts! 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Podcast starts now, what is up everyone around the globe? Hi,
you're coming at you live from New York City roughly
three weeks ago.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
I have a new concept.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
It's called screen time eyes, and it's when someone you
can see in someone's eyes that their screen time.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Is really high.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Do I have screen time?

Speaker 2 (00:40):
No?

Speaker 3 (00:40):
No, obviously no. I would never keep you having screen timeline.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
It would be okay if you did. Accuse me.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
No, no, no no.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
But I worry sometimes that I especially when I see
photos of myself, I'm like, oh, no, do I have it?
Because I notice it's so clearly in others and it's like,
I don't want to say who. But there's a comedian
that has recently been in the news little and I'm like, oh,
she has screen time eyes. She Okay, we'll bleep it.
But do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:05):
I do know what you mean.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
So, and I'm seeing it more and more, and I'm
wondering if you are seeing what I'm talking about. To
describe the look, well, it's like a sort of permanently
kind of almost permanently surprised and also permanently anxious about finding.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Out the truth.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
It's it's it's a sibling of conspiracy eyes like it's
a bit it's a bit weapons. It's a it's a
bit weapons. There's a bit of a It's not that
someone is dead behind the eyes. It's that there's a
sort of dimness. It's like they have put down the
blinds halfway.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Okay, try to do it to camera?

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Well like it? No, but you have to.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
I would have to be like a I'd have to
be an Amy Adams level actor to be able to
perform that. It comes from within, It doesn't come from
with that. It's not like saying, do a flip.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
I think our guests would like to try to perform it.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
Okay, yeah, Hulo, please talk with Julio Torres. I just
I feel like it's more like it's it's like a
little it's more surprised. It's more like, oh like or
like it's a little more paralyzed. Maybe one is like

(02:18):
one is twitching even a little bit.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Sure.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
What I mean is like it's like the effects of
a blue light being constantly projected into your eyes. And
so it also is a literal physical thing that's happening.
It's not just theoretical like oh no, I've read too
many true crime books, and now I like look paranoid,
but it's a mix of paranoia.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yes, Julio, have you ever thought of wearing context? I
actually could like not wear glasses and it's fine. Really, Yeah,
you give it a try. You think I look better?

Speaker 1 (02:52):
This is so tyro, so give it, give.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
It a try. Do I just do I look like beautiful? No?
You you you you are beautiful, but you you unlocked.
You unlocked a part of your beauty. Right now, You're like,
I've never in a way that I was like, oh.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
Was it because I did screen time eyes?

Speaker 2 (03:15):
No, it was as soon as you I wasn't listening
to the rest of it, as soon as you took
get glasses off. And it's like, you also have really
good skin.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Well, Julio, get rid of the get rid of the glasses. God,
there's a beautiful girl under there. Well I do you
would just let her out? What are you scared of?

Speaker 3 (03:34):
Yeah, here's what I'm scared of, genuinely walking around New
York not being able to see like a block away,
like I actually care. If you were to take away
my glasses, I could survive. I mean I would have
to be squinting a little bit.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
If I'm saying contacts you.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Can meet, don't you think it's crazy all the process
of getting contacts just for lvanity? Yeah, but no your answers, No,
you've done way other well, had many surgeries.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
Do you think maybe like nicer glasses would help, because
I know these need to be retired and I am
ready for a more contemporary kind of Why do K feel?

Speaker 2 (04:14):
But you don't think that's the issue? No? Yeah, so
I think I think the vulnerability and the accessibility that
comes without having I do you.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Think potentially I'm I'm I hide behind the identity of glasses.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
You do?

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah, yeah, you do? And so what do you think
it could unlock in me if I stopped?

Speaker 2 (04:36):
I think that you know, it's like taking away the
safety blanket. Yeah. How would you feel about having your
natural hair color I have?

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Are you guys fighting?

Speaker 2 (04:47):
And yeah? I think I think Okay, I I think
that this is very interesting that a compliment was turned
into an insulin in your in.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
Your sorry, I know that I I jokingly did the
hair common as as and I think I'm actually a
productive line of.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
No, but I think that's your glasses speaking.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
Oh, it's defensiveness.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
You're saying, my glasses, it's like I'm trying to read
you as a text yeah, rather than just like accept
you for who you are, whereas you're not doing that
to me. You're in fact being like.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
I'm really I'm just trying to access you yeah yeah, wow,
And your glasses are saying no, I read you, you
don't read me. No.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
And but you don't think that you like the that
your dyed hair makes you dyed hair person in the
same way that glasses makes me glasses person.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
It does, it does. However, I have seen myself without
dyed hair, whereas I've never seen myself with that glass. No,
but I I don't. I think you have more to
gain than I do you have. I think you have

(06:03):
a lot more to gain. Okay, wow, wow. And I
think the things that I would be able to access
with dyed hair with undyed hair, with undyed hair are
not seductive to me. But the things that you could
access without glasses, I think I think could be could
be very interesting for you. But do you Okay?

Speaker 3 (06:24):
So maybe it's that like glasses upfa scate, whereas dyed
hair reveals like you are closer to your authentic self
with the dyed hair.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Wherever hair is.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Like turning the volume up, yes, turn the volume down.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
Glasses are also you know what they do. They add
quotes around everything you're saying. Glasses are quotes of the face.
So it's like everything I'm saying is sort of a
commentary of what if I said that it's.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
Zoomed out you have distance from your words, yes.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
Yeah, Whereas in fact, you know, there's a stereotype of
like the blue hair hair liberal.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
You know what I mean, we actually need to talk
about the stereotype of the blue hair liberal.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
What is the blue hair It's like it's a you know,
the right wing's a caricature of It's the ification exactly.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
And it's like the right wing go to is like
blue haired liberal. There's an evil blue haired liberal out there.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
So it's like when you, let's say, we utter the
same sentence and it's like a really smart sentence.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
God, I would love to hear that sentence.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Yeah, it's a sentence no one has thought of. Again,
but by the end of.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
This episode we will have fun of it.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
Like is it more transcendent coming out of Julio's mouth,
Because it's like is it more transcendent coming out of
a dyed hair head or.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
A glass's head. It depends on the audience. Sure, well,
of course, I mean you have any I don't have
any piercings, right, I just have one. Oh, you have one?
It should be bigger.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
Okay, I actually have thought that, I that I want
a bigger one, and I actually want to want you.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
Oh that's a good idea.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah, you have one. But it's of course a very
true too. Yeah. Yeah, I think I think that you
shouldn't be scared of going there.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
It's the idea of scared is interesting to me because
it's not like I have a desire of having more
piercings than I'm stopping myself.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
I just have never like wanted more, have you not?

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Really? I got my one, yeah, within the year, and
I feel like it's changed everything, and I don't want
to change too much or else I have no foundation,
I'll be wobbly. But the one is it's changed a
lot for me. That being said, I don't know how
to take it out.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Well that's it's not right. You don't know how to
take it out. I don't know how, Okay, and we
check can help, will take care of.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
Mich will take care of it. I have no idea
how to take it out.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
Is it infected?

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Everyone's while it goes, It goes in and out.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
Of course it's a little infacted.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
It goes in and out.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah, it's always a live thing.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
It's like sometimes it's infected something it's not.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
It's like it's aing.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
Do you expect like every day synthesizes like I'm sorry,
Like there's variables in life.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
Yeah, okay, not to keep going on our physical But
you are also doing something that fascinates me because it
is talk about being scared. This is something I'm scared of.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
Here's what it is.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, you're wearing brown pants with a green shirt. Yes,
and you look amazing. You look really good. One of
my biggest fears is looking like a tree when I
wear brown pants, looking like a tree, looking like every
time I've Sometimes I will be getting dressed and I
will realize, oh, no, I'm doing brown in the bottom green.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
I've heard you critique people for looking like a tree before,
But don't you think wholy is pulling it off? No,
I thing looks great, but I've just never heard of it.
It's like a negative.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
Hold on, Yeah, what is at the heart of I
don't know, looking like a tree?

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Did you hear this in like second grade and it
just stuck with you?

Speaker 2 (09:49):
So you don't think it.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
I've never heard like I don't want to look like
a tree except for you.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
I here's what I think it's like. I think there's something.
Surely at some point someone I a Halloween costumer, a
theater costumer, something where they were a tree, And that's.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
I think that you should also go under hypnosis and
unlock what what the trauma is with looking like a tree. Yeah,
I mean, I know.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
I think you're absolutely right because I do think it
is something, because I do.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Like I whenever you're wearing colors that are too evocative
of something that you don't want to evoke, then I
completely get it. Like people don't like wearing blue and
purple because it's like a Barney or like I have
like switched things around when I'm wearing like red and
blue because it's like I don't want to be like
evoke Superman. Oh.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
I was thinking like fourth of July or right, or.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Like a yellow and red Ronald McDonald.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
Or like orange and black Halloween.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Right, But tree is such a to me, like, if
I'm evoking that, that's such a lovely thing to evoke.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
I don't think it's that I don't want to evoke
a tree pecifically, is that I don't want to look
like I'm in costume.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
I don't mean anyone will think you're in costume.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
You know what it is? You know what disney bounding is?

Speaker 2 (11:09):
No, it's called Disney bounding. I think.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
Isn't that what It's called a kink? It's when it
sounds like I mean, essentially should be I don't know
if that's the right term. But when you go to Disney,
you're not allowed to dress up as the characters. So
people will do color schemes to evoke evoke the characters.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Wait, but I don't be okay, So people can't costplay
at Disney.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
People can't cost play.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
Because then people will think there are a representative of
the park exactly, And then suddenly the child is asking
an autograph to a complete stranger that has been authorized
to speak to that. Well, it also would just create chaos.
I mean when you imagine going into which one's the
real Goofy and also.

Speaker 3 (11:47):
It wants the real Google and it waters down the
value of the brand name thing.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
More and they fought hard for that brand name.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
It's like being like, oh yeah, anyone can open up
a chaosk got them all. Okay, So what is this
like the movie? Uh, Civil War Staring Cures and.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Dunce, Is that the the the genesis of the war
and in the Civil Wars?

Speaker 1 (12:14):
No, they didn't say what the genesis was, but it
was implied.

Speaker 3 (12:17):
It was implied that, you know, without a proper exactly,
it was unlicensed kiosks at all the malls. You know,
next thing, you know, we have Antifa taking over.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, I have some malls say that, say that are
are they still around?

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Yes, they're turning them into pickleball courts. I have something
to say and apartments and apartments. I have something kind
of scary and I don't know where this will go,
but I have to tell you when you said kiosks,
this is what I thought of. I was in an
airport and there was like a little tent set up
and it was like and it was like, okay, there's
like and it was like kind of loaded the ground
and it was like, oh, they're like setting up like
a quick kiosk. And I was like, oh, interesting, why

(12:55):
are they doing this? It's like right by the Starbucks.
And we were like, maybe there's gonna be like a
sunglass hut here. And then we're like, wait a minute,
why are there police standing around it? And then like
we're like joking about what's under the tent? And then
this one was like do you want to know?

Speaker 2 (13:10):
And we were like who is the woman?

Speaker 1 (13:12):
The woman was like a youngish she was like our age,
and she was just like sitting alone.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
She was a fellow traveler.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
She's a fellow traveler. And she was like, I hear
you guys joking. Do you want to know what's under there?
And Misha and I were like, sure, tell us what's
under there. She's like it's a dead body. She was
like a man just died there.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
And I was like, do you want to hear what's
in the tent? Are you prepared to know what's in
the tent?

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah? Do you want to know?

Speaker 2 (13:36):
How did the man die?

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Apparently you had a heart attack and he was there
for like an hour. It's a classic and it was
right by th Starbucks.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Oh okay, well I'm glad you put that here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
I just I just felt like that was notable.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
So Disney.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
Well, did they shoot him because he had an unlicensed kiosk?

Speaker 1 (14:02):
No?

Speaker 2 (14:03):
So the tent is the tent was there for you?

Speaker 1 (14:05):
Yeah, yeah, so that we could pretend there was not
a dead body in the airport for an hour.

Speaker 3 (14:11):
So they erected a tent over the dead body rather
than moving it exactly. Now, that's interesting.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
That's because it's probably someone has to Was it a
crime scene then?

Speaker 1 (14:24):
Was he poisoned?

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Was he poisoned? Well? I find it almost progressive to
erect a tent around the dead body rather than move it.

Speaker 3 (14:36):
You know, we have this in our society. We don't
want to think about death. You don't have a culture
if there's a what we don't have a grieving culture.
We don't have a grieving culture. It's you know, if
someone does get that out of there. This is a
live world because to be consumers, we have to be alive.
Exactly when someone is dead, they no longer are needed
in this in the system that we are a part of.

(14:56):
And so I think to add a tent over the
dead body, you know, it's kind of instilling it with
a sarcophicus like importance in a way. That I think
is kind of almost anti capitalist.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yes, yes, yeah, well it's a mausoleum exactly.

Speaker 3 (15:12):
Yeah, and it's it's saying that this body has value
despite being deceased.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Real estate.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
We'll see again, you're again, you're thinking and capitalist.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
I'm just thinking about how much per square foot if
he's six feet.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
Well, I would say even the mall is losing money
because part of the square footage is being dedicated to
simply displaying and celebrating the dead body, right, and so
in that sense it is even cutting into the bottom line.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
I will say, Now, whenever I go to this airport,
which I go to quite often, it is lax, after all,
I will walk by the spot and I go, that's
what the dumb body was. The mausoleum kind of works now,
the mausoleums in my mind.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
The mausoleum is in the mind.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
The tent was temporary, but it's always going to be
there for me.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
It's Peter, Wait, that's what I That's why I don't
want to wear green.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
Oh my god, we got there.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
Was and I don't know what the pan was. Brown,
brown pants, green shirt, brown tights, brown tights.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Okay, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, green like, Yes, I
think that's what it is, green like, and maybe it's
maybe it actually stems from some sort of internalized homophobia.
Peter Pant's pretty faggy.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Oh wow, it's Peter Pan. It's Peter You're Disney bounding
as Peter Pan.

Speaker 2 (16:31):
I am going there afterwards, to Disneyland.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
And you know that's complicated legally speaking, because Peter Pan
is just a person. Yeah, so like if you're dressed
in Peter Pant's colors as a person, But did Peter
Pant always have those colors or were those colors put
on him by the Disney corporation?

Speaker 3 (16:50):
Like if you look at an old book, an old
Peter Pan book, he's not always wearing brown and green,
is he?

Speaker 2 (16:56):
I don't know, I know I think that the I
think that the all of the outfits are interpretations by
the corporation.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
Huge shout out to the corporation. Since we're talking about colors,
we should mention that Julio, Yeah, Plug has a show
called Collar Theories, Sell It that is to die for.
George and I were at the big opening night, which
is not the first night you do it.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
No, opening night is not the first night that the
performance happens. So Julio is very confused.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
How has it been to be a theater person as
opposed to a normal comedy person.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
I don't know why the word theater is even being used.
To be honest, I'm not even performing in at a theater.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
Well like the theater to me, I guess it is
quite literally called performance space New York space, which is
which is actually kind of a perfect name for what
it is.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah, it's a.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
Bit literal if you ask me perform it's like right
right in New York.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
Yeah, yeah, it's not called New York Theater, performance space,
New York, but it is.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Why is it?

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Why is it?

Speaker 1 (18:08):
Why is it theater as opposed to like, what is it?
I mean, I know the thing about like ninety nine
seats or whatever?

Speaker 2 (18:13):
What like?

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Something is off Broadway if they have like a certain number.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
Of seats, But what is I would say it checks
all the boxes for theater.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Why is something a show? What? Like? So, why isn't
all stand up off Broadway?

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Well, not all theaters are off Broadway theaters?

Speaker 1 (18:28):
Do you have to get a license?

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Julio, I'll take it away. I don't, I don't, I
don't know. I don't see that license. I I am
just doing something in this space for several nights. Uh huh.
And if calling it theater brings a sense of peace

(18:52):
and order.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
Well, but this is a good question, though, does it
bring a sense of peace and order because you are
drawing a crowd that is more of you will be
presumably drawing a crowd that is more of a theater
crowd rather than a comedy crowd, because they will find
out about it through theater theater what like through a
place where they would read about theater, like the review.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
If there's a review in the Times, it'll be in
the theater section. Oh why.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
Well, because it's enough Broadway show, so like a theater
critic will go and review it, and so it'll be
part of the ecosystem that is theater.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Al haws them to do that? Is that to be honest,
you're publicist, probably okay, as soon as I get her name,
all get to the bottom of that. I I don't
know where the line is, and I I'm curious as

(19:49):
to the insistence where there to be a line. Is it?
Is it as simple as like they don't know where
to put it on the website, Like what tap to
put it on.

Speaker 3 (19:58):
Okay, so here's what I think it is. Actually, I think.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
It's just performing comedy.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
Yeah, yeah, well I think something when something is elevated
to theater. You know, The New York Times doesn't have
a comedy criticism section, So where something is elevated theater,
that means it is suddenly.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
But there is a comedy critic.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
There is a comedy critic that's true for the Times. Yes, yeah,
really yeah, huh hello comedy critic. If you can hear
tell how serious we're big? No, I am, I am.
I didn't know there was a comedy critic for The Times.
Well okay, wait, okay, okay, comedy critic. And what does
this critic cover? Mostly comedy, but comedy has different both

(20:41):
live and comedy specials. But like it goes around comedy,
we're defining ass mostly stand up comedy. I would got it. Yeah,
And I would say.

Speaker 3 (20:50):
That extends to a sort of one person show.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
Honestly, I feel like he would be the one to
review the show, be a review Julio show.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
Yeah, I think it will definitely be the theater. Really,
the same critic that's reviewing like Macbeth or whatever.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
Well, it's complicated because there's there's both a like a
resident critic, like someone whose job is New York Times
theater critic, and there's also other people who are in
rotation that review things.

Speaker 1 (21:19):
Who do you want to review it?

Speaker 2 (21:20):
Yeah? Whomever? Whomever would get a check for doing that,
and you just want them to get paid. Yeah, I
just I just want to say.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
You're doing this show because you want more critics.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
To get paid.

Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah. Yeah, critics aren't getting paid because there aren't shows, and.

Speaker 2 (21:38):
You're You're welcome feeding all of you.

Speaker 1 (21:46):
I I think it's fun watching your show.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Do you do you? Yeah? Does are there podcast reviews?

Speaker 1 (21:55):
There are articles that cover podcasts, but there's not like
podcast reviews.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
Vulture does a lot till there be will be podcast reviews.
I wonder there.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
Are podcasts like Vulture will do like a sort of
podcast criticism, for example. And then The New Yorker for
a while had a podcast column where they would like
recommend a podcast.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
That's true, but a podcast has never gotten like.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
A pan, right, it's it's not.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
The infrastructure isn't there for it to be like okay,
this season, What podcasts are are being reviewed and which
podcasts are getting critics pick, but it.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
Sounds like the resources are there, and maybe that's because
podcasts are like one of the few things that people
are actually consuming. So I feel like.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
I guess, I guess what it comes down to is,
like what is a review. There's like writing and criticism
about podcasts, but like this idea of like the issue
of the paper also has a theater section that has
a review of a work. That structure isn't there for podcasts.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
I would say it's a you know, it's it's criticism
is dying in all forms.

Speaker 3 (23:04):
I say, it's dead, as dead as that man under
the tent and the lax.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
I think theater is one of the few places where
like maybe criticism.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
Still exists because it's an older crowd.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
Yeah, and because it's like there, it's just like an
older infrastructure and it can't be like messed with.

Speaker 3 (23:21):
And it's more siloed like it literally it's like, yeah,
it is such a smaller and by the way, I'm
just now realizing the reason is because it is so
geography dependent. Like literally theater, I mean, you have to
be in, you have to be right, and like Broadway
is defined as broadway as you have to be in

(23:43):
one of like how many theaters. It's like it's a
limited amount of theory, yes, right, and that are owned
by like two or three different corporations. So in order
to be a Broadway show, you have to be generating
capital for one of these three, right. But I mean
there can be a theater critic, like in Philadelphia that
that reviews plays that are in Philadelphia in any other city,

(24:05):
but it's like it is always your graphic.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
Oh, I see what you mean, but yes, yeah, yeah,
but yeah, Broadway is its own. It is like like
the critic that becomes a portal to the to the
to the performance that you wouldn't otherwise have because you
George reading a review from a play in Philadelphia, it's like, well,
you probably don't have a lot of friends who have
seen it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:26):
And also the like the reason criticism is dying is
because anyone can like make a TikTok about a movie, right,
But in theater that's not as true because your review
doesn't have to reach that many people. Like it's not
like you're you're not going for scale.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
No, your review just has to reach those like twenty people, yeah, exactly,
So you're not being threatened by TikTokers. If you're a theater.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
Critic, yeah, like you are. If you're a lot of
del Ray critic, yeah no.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
If you're a lot of the Ray critic, you might
as well. Good luck started life.

Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yeah no, it's by a opinion opinion. I okay, wait,
you know what what piece of media I just came
across I just rediscovered? Do you remember it was maybe
God at this point, maybe like ten years ago, the

(25:20):
shore man outside of NYU holding the trash bag, and
he is screaming at this trumpet player and he's going,
you're not an artist. You're not an artist. You're not.
Are you familiar with it? With his like viral video,
It was like a viral video before things actually went viral,

(25:42):
And it's.

Speaker 3 (25:43):
A it's a man holding a trash bag.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Holding a trash bag, but he clearly was like in
the middle of an errand or something. Oh, he has
like a button down like slick trousers.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
And he's being bothered by the trumpet players.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
He's being bothered by the trumpet player, and he's going like,
you are not an artist, you are not, and I are.
And my right to say that I earned my right
to say that you are disturbing the piece at one
of the most at one of the most sacred institutions
in North America. And yu uh and and like then
like lists frantically lists all of his degrees as as
as evidence to support that he has earned the right

(26:20):
to say who is an artist and who isn't an artist?

Speaker 3 (26:23):
Or his degrees in art history.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
His degrees are in music. I believe, Oh okay, well
even better, uh at me a bit he can speak
and and he's saying, you're not an artist, You're not
an artist. Anybody know who you are? Maybe everybody else
was who joined the piece and quiet, This is one
of the most important places in all.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Of North America. Who are you?

Speaker 2 (26:45):
Who are you? You measure what? Perceptuous? No talent? You know?

Speaker 1 (26:50):
Artist?

Speaker 2 (26:52):
An artist respects the silence. It certains the fectation of creativity.
I obviously don't have the talent. You're have enough respect
for other people or wanted us who express yourself in music?
Were any of the form of creativity? And I'm an
NYU Film School graduate, sucker and the School of Visual
Arts in the Academy of our University San Francisco. You suck.

(27:16):
You are no talent If you really had talento practice
and it gets yourself a gig instead of ruining the
end of the day for everybody down here. You Discrice,
you're everything that's gone wrong in this world. You are
ste consumed, no talent, mediocre piece of shit. And I've
learned my right to say it.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
Okay, I had two hundred thousand people who don't grip in.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Nineteen seventy five.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
I want Bob Dealing up on stage.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
Who the fuck are you now? I've been fascinated by
this clip which has resurfaced. The trumpet player. If you
listen to the trumpet player is objectively bad, like it's
it doesn't sound good. However, he's actually doing the thing
that he wants to do. Meanwhile, this man is just

(28:07):
hoarding sounds like it like his third degree and has
which has given him little other than resentment and this
imagined air of importance that gets to to decide who's
an artist and who isn't an artist. So like seeing
the trumpet player actually perform the thing that he wanted

(28:30):
to do just feet away from where he is getting
yet another loan for another degree was a glitch in
his matrix. And I and I just like I'm fascinated
by them.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
It is complicated. I think we both love critique. I
have I have said you do. I love a good
critique like you read. You read critics. I love to
read criticism of me too, And but it's like if
you read, if you read too much criticism, you like
think critically in a way where you're like not thinking creatively.

(29:04):
Like it's like a slippery slope. And I'm like, I like,
sometimes I'm like, wait, I don't want to just be
commenting on I want to be the original thing. Yes.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
Well, And then of course what complicates that is the
idea that criticism itself is an art form. And like
if someone is like a famous critic who has found
new ways of like concept or you know, if categorizing
or conceptualizing existing artworks, then that also adds value in
the same way that a work of art will add value.

(29:33):
What I'm trying to figure out is if I think
there's any value to someone yelling you are not an artist.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
Like, is there an could I could? Well?

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Could one make the argument that him yelling that is
in fact him using his degree, is in fact him
doing arts criticism in like a Gonzo way, you know,
what I mean.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Well, the trumpet player had a contribution. Yeah, the trumpet
layer had a contribution, regardless of what, whether we like
it or not contributing. And this other man probably has
been trained to believe that you need to earn your
right to contribute, definitely, and that made him glitch. Now

(30:17):
the trumpet player in the video, the trumpet player has
a hold of himself. He is there to play trumpet
and he is doing it. The critic, if we're calling
him that, I don't he probably isn't a critic. It's
probably also a musician glitched.

Speaker 3 (30:34):
Yes, I guess, okay, this is the you're saying his
degrees were in music, like the practice of music. He's
not like the music college.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
What I'm inferring from the rant is that I don't
know he probably all maybe all of the above. Yeah,
I guess I would like to know is extreme job.
No institution will say you've had too many degrees. Oh
well that's a whole other that's No institution will be
like cool it. They'll be like, send the money here.

Speaker 3 (31:06):
What I would like to know is is this person's
dream job to be in an orchestra or to be
the classical music critic for The New York Times.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
I think it's to be in any that's I think
you should watch the video.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you've interacted with I feel
like that's so common to like be doing something like
creative sort of like without the training, Like I feel
like stand up reads that. Like it's like the first
scripts I wrote were like, you know, it's not like
I have a degree in like screenwriting. I was just like,

(31:43):
I just have to write.

Speaker 2 (31:43):
People who have gone those degrees get a little.

Speaker 1 (31:45):
They get a little mad.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Yeah, they're like, it's not formatted, right, Yeah, well no
one told you that you actually save it as dot.
It's just like, okay, cool.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
I feel like this is something you're particularly good at.
Is like sort of being like the formalities don't matter,
Like just put the thing out.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Just put the thing out. Yeah, I'm all about freight edges. Yeah,
I love a freight edge. The designer I'm sending home
is the one who's showing me the dress I've seen before. Wait,
that's a project runaway, right of course, of course, No,
I fully agree. I think I've like, if you're showing
I agree, show two dresses. One of them is exquisitely made.

(32:27):
But I've seen it before and the other one is
falling apart. But it's a new idea. I'll go for
the new idea.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Yeah, I think I think your show is very right
edges but even like that like that idea, not even
like you're doing it, but you're like sort of constantly
pushing like this like freedom of like don't worry about
the rules, like we don't need so many rules in
a way that I think is like really good.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Honey, I missed my cues left and right. I do
not think that's true. I think it was like I wasn't.
I wasn't good behavior when you.

Speaker 3 (33:04):
Okay, But I'm just I think what I obviously like,
I guess I have I have my notes in front
of me.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
I didn't want to prop. What, No, it's not. That's
where you're actually looking at your note. Yeah, I'm looking
up my notes. They can remember all of that. I was,
did you think it was a prop?

Speaker 1 (33:19):
I could tell it was real, but I was. I was.
I was surprised that it was non linear your notes
like you would like flip forward and then flip backward.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
Well, yeah, it's a mess, but I have them numbered
I have the number like I'm sitting because I don't
like standing. Yeah, yeah, but it's a comfort.

Speaker 3 (33:36):
Okay, okay, wait wait now I'm now to go back
to the theater thing, having a realization, which is.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
It's a precentage by applying.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
Honestly sort of applying the the freight edges ethosist stand
up comedy to theater.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
Yeah, it sticks out more.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
Whereas if you were doing a stand up comedy show
and you had your notes, no one would judge you
for it. But if it's yeah, define this theater, some
people get so judgment But if it's defined this theater,
then it's even more like noticeable that you have a
notebook with you on stage, because you wouldn't expect to
go see the Seagull and have the actors have little
notepacks and be like, wait.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
What what's next? I mean they should? You think they should? Yeah?
If that helps them. I even have I there's even
like things written on the set for me really yeah,
that I wrote with pencil. I have a question for you.

Speaker 3 (34:31):
Yeah, is it does it change night by night? Or
is the show exactly the same?

Speaker 2 (34:39):
Not as not not significantly, but the wording changes and
the and sometimes I'll be like that, not that tonight,
you'll just skip something. Oh really nothing major, but nothing
that's like light dependent, sure for sure, or sound dependent.
I was it's a constant working and sorry, it's a concept.

(35:02):
It's a constant work in progress, which I think is
maybe because the infrastructure theater is such that, like the
lights have to be set, the sound has to be set,
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So there's really there's
only so much wiggle room, right, It's like actors can
do things that are slightly different in order to find something.

(35:22):
But I I I don't have a deadline for this
in any way. And yes they're ac cues and things
like that, but I don't they're not as rigid you're
saying you don't have a deadline for it to be perfected,
like this is yeah, this is this thing about quote
unquote opening night. I'm like, Okay, I don't know. I'll

(35:44):
keep experimenting.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
Yeah, yeah, when are the Bibo? So Bibo is pre recorded,
the voices, the voice of Joe Rommel shout out.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
And Bibo is who I know. But I'm saying for
the for the audience, that's part of the show, voiced
by Joe Roumrel.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Bibo is my friend who's a robot? Yes?

Speaker 1 (36:05):
Are the movements is pre set? Or does someone is
someone like.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
Biebele moves live?

Speaker 1 (36:11):
He moves live?

Speaker 2 (36:12):
Yeah? Wow, that was great. Bibo reacts, So is there
a puppeteer behind him? Biebo's just just.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
Bibo's pronounce him.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
Yes, okay, yeah, no, he's just uh what was the question?
Is there a puppeteer behind people? No, there's Biebel's shadow
is behind Biebo? Oh of course, I guess that makes
sense with the theater lighting and all. Yeah, what with
the theater lighting and whatnot? Behind Biebo? There is only

(36:45):
his shadow? Is that the march? Yes printed behind Bibo?

Speaker 3 (36:52):
There is only It would be amazing if that was
the merch, because there's such self evident things you can
do with merch because of the colors, and because like
you're like drawing, choose of all your drawing, there's all
these like sort of iconic images that people remember from
the show. So to choose just a shirt that says
behind a line that's not in the show with Wait,

(37:14):
you should?

Speaker 2 (37:15):
I should? Should I include that on the show? Is
that fun? Yeah? You should?

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Because they are wondering.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
You should are wondering if there's a puppeteer behind people.
But let me tell you, behind people, there is only
his shadow.

Speaker 3 (37:27):
You should be the first performer to sell merch during
a performance, Like there should be moments where you stop
performing after you say a line and you're like, and
then you take out a shirt that.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
Has that line. Oh wow, Yeah, not for this show,
but maybe I will.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
Does Bibo date?

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Yeah? Men or women? What? What's his type? I've only
seen them date women so far, robot women or human women?
What do you mean robot women? Who are some robot women? Uh?

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Siri?

Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah? The girl robot from the Holes Full of Love video.
That's a fictional robot. That's not true. That video was
shot live. Sure, that's a prop though, that's not like
a sentient being like Bibo is. But what about you know,
a roomba?

Speaker 1 (38:19):
Yeah, roomba, that's a good example.

Speaker 2 (38:21):
No, would Bibo date a roomba? Yes? Or no? No,
he wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
What about an Amazon Alexa?

Speaker 2 (38:27):
Yeah? No, no, no, no, no? What about Siri? No? I
think people wants like a ceramicist, so a non robot
woman probably okay?

Speaker 1 (38:40):
Interesting?

Speaker 2 (38:41):
Yeah, I think Bibo goes for like a girl with
an Etsy shop. Oh yeah, that makes that makes sense.
Yeah he was sentimental. Yeah, he's kind of wholesome and yeah,
but he's like a little artsy, like she has a
little bird tattoo.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
Yeah, so Bibo would date like Zoron's wife, well if
if she was not married in a loving relationship.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
Yeah, with our next mayor. Who did Biba vote for
in the presidential election?

Speaker 2 (39:15):
Would you say, in the presidential yes, in twenty twenty four, Oh,
Kamala Harris, Donald J. Trump. He would he would deflect,
but he voted Kamala Okay, okay, yeah with like you know,
a lot of like a lot of we know, like yeah, yeah,
I don't support this hand waving.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yah, which he does by himself,
not with a puppeteer, by the way.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
Yeah wow, Can I.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
Tell you what's happening in my mind right now? I
know we have to do our first segment, but if
I say that, it will be further proof that I
am glasses and that I am Navy in your in
your terminology? Wait, why because we have to because I'm like,
because I'm keeping us.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
In your You're the bibo.

Speaker 3 (39:59):
Yes of Stradio, Yes exactly, which I which is actually
weird because normally I'm more like time sensitive for some.

Speaker 2 (40:06):
Reason, this time you have a dinner in Indian Square.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
That's actually not why I'm no. I was more thinking
because I want to get because I want to get it.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
To our topic. I was like, let's get to the topic.
Let's do it. I'll be the bibo. What's next?

Speaker 1 (40:19):
You can't be the bibo after he already said we
have to get to the topic.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
Okay, what's next? What's the topic?

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Oh my god? Okay. Our first segment, as you know,
is called Strate Shooters, and in the semmer, we're wanting
to ask you a series wrapped by questions this thing
or this other thing, and the only rule is you
can't ask any followup questions or we will go navy
blue on your ass.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
Hard. Okay.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
The show is about color colors, and that's why we
keep saying yes, yes, performance listeners.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
It's a show called Color Theories in which I discussed colors,
and in the show, navy blue is characterized as the
the rule following color, which is why you are comparing
yourself to navy blue when you are keeping track of
the segments. Yes, well, actually not. None of neither of
us is wearing navy blue, which is rare for us
because we both actually actually attracted wearing.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
A navy blue shirt before this, and I took it
off many.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
Night and navy blue it.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
I didn't take it off because I was scared of
what it would imply.

Speaker 2 (41:21):
But a lot of people do that. People have been
doing that with me around me a lot lately. Well
it is was going to wear this color, but I
didn't want you to blave. It's just like it's not
I say at the beating of the show, it's not literal.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
It's not literal, but it is hard. It's like that
thing of being like this happens sort of in DC.
Actually it's when you like call out someone's like lifestyle.
If you're like, navy blue is this? Neame blue is this?
Then you're looking and you're like, oh fuck, oh yeah,
You're like, I can't go home. I can't change this
happens though it's not.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
This happened to me last night.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
You know how I've been, you know, we've been on
tour and then some of our shows, I'll make some
joke about how sometimes women bring their boyfriends to a
queer comedy show, and the vibe is very much like
if this doesn't work out, it's over. Like it's like
this night will be this night will be in and
so everyone and everyone and people show.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
Isn't funny because the straight boyfriends like the.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
Straight boy friends like this.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
The woman is always rubbing the straight boyfriend's back every time,
and so I made you know, you make a joke
about it, and you and people that already do.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
Have different lives. It's so fun and people at our
shows laugh.

Speaker 3 (42:25):
Last night I was at a show that was all.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
Straight couples and so no one with you.

Speaker 3 (42:32):
No one laughed because the women can't laugh because ovious,
because they're Then it's like so true. Then it's like
so true, my boyfriend sucks. And obviously the boyfriends are like,
how dare you even reference me?

Speaker 2 (42:43):
Where was this Union Hall? Oh? This is okay? Oh yeah,
but Union Hall. That's basically the audience is like it's
common country. Yeah yeah, like you're gonna have some and
I don't, but but my love.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
In our shows, the boyfriends are in like I haven't
had a negative reaction from the boyfriends generally.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
Like and no it's an energetic yes.

Speaker 3 (43:08):
And I'll do a joke where I'm like, you know,
you all feel out numbered, but actually, if you look around,
there's many of you and you can all unionize and
stop this show now like it and everyone laughs and
it's like, Okay, they're no angrier would be yes, But
I think at this show, because it was all straight couples,
there wasn't even the opportunity to first to break the tension.

(43:30):
It was just like the shock of recognition.

Speaker 1 (43:35):
Well, and it's like when we were in DC and
I had a joke about people who like their jobs
too much being like unethical, and people were so like
they were like that's not right. Like they were like,
it's my duty to like my job. Like people were
genuinely like I've never gotten silenced, and I was like,
oh yeah, Like it was like they were all wearing
navy blue and they couldn't take it off.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yeah, it was freaky.

Speaker 3 (43:59):
But also I was telling Sam, I think we had
a realization that we have the stereotype of like we
have the stereotype that everyone wants to do something creative
and stops themselves to have an office job that's flawed,
that is obviously flawed in many ways, but in a
DC specific way, it's actually even more dream for exactly

(44:22):
the dream.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
The dream is that their Hollywood yes exactly, yeah, yeah
and made it and they've and and there's something in fact,
like even you can even understand that on a theoretical level,
to want to quote unquote change the world through.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
Politics like at least makes sense. It's like it makes
more sense than for your dream being to I don't know,
work at the Coca Cola corporation, right, sure, sure, But
the people that work at the Coca Cola corporation, their
dream is probably to like own a lake house, yeah,

(44:57):
and like to like be able to afford going on
like vacation, that's true, have like a big wedding, and
then and then this thing is like pleasant enough. They
feel some kind of rush of power and so no
like is there. But I think they at least at

(45:17):
least Sam's thing works better for it's like they don't
have to love their job. They can be like, I'm
satisfied with.

Speaker 2 (45:23):
My job, but I want to go to that audience.

Speaker 3 (45:24):
Whereas I do think if you work at a you
misread the audience, like at a at a political consultancy.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
You're literally like fuck yeah, like this is what I
we're gonna want. Yeah, like finance people. Yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
This thing keeps happening in our conversation where where whenever
we try to talk about the show, then we move
on like it's.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
Like we like oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and it's
like that's okay, get to the topic, get to a topic.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
Okay. So that thing we already said, the setup.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Yeah yeah, you already said the setup.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
Okay, so I'll go first. Concrete jungle where dreams are
made of or nasty fungal hair we should shave off.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
No, that's good. Concrete jungle where gems are made of
slim shady or fat bastard ooh, slim shady.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
Common side effects or mama hydro.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
Breasts common side effects under construction or other ba ba
bad under construction.

Speaker 1 (46:22):
This bitch, okay, Big Pharma or Little Wayne, Little.

Speaker 3 (46:28):
Wayne tipping twenty percent or tripping into your descent, tripping
into your descent?

Speaker 1 (46:36):
Okay. Chicken Caesar salad or frigging geezers are valid.

Speaker 2 (46:43):
Chicken Caesar salad together at last, or Merrick Weaver was
miscast together at last. I picked the ones that I
could repeat, Yes, that made sense.

Speaker 1 (46:54):
Yeah, okay, there's I'm like, there's a tension here, but
you knew between the three of us.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
Really, why is it?

Speaker 1 (47:02):
I don't know something's up?

Speaker 2 (47:03):
Okay, Oh is that are you? Is this a setup
for another segment?

Speaker 1 (47:07):
No, this is it's time for water candy.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
Yeah, it's time for massages from our sponsor.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
Bibo comes in Belo. No, I'm like, is there tension?

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Do you send sension?

Speaker 1 (47:27):
I send tension.

Speaker 3 (47:28):
Oh that's interesting that you phrase it as a question,
when in fact you just wanted to say there is.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
Therapy me.

Speaker 3 (47:36):
It's like, so you think there's tension. I basically I'm like,
this soup salty. Don't do therapy?

Speaker 2 (47:45):
Is the soup salty?

Speaker 1 (47:46):
I don't consent to therapy.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
That's a T shirt. That's a T shirt? Is it
hot in here? Well?

Speaker 1 (47:53):
I'm looking I'm looking for relatability in a sea of
you know, individuals. I'm saying. I'm saying, maybe I'm lunatic.
Maybe you need to lock me up in a luney bit.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
It's interesting though, because if you had said, okay, if
you had said there is tension, then you then it
would have been an attack sort of. I feel like
it's dominating to say there is tension. Yeah, But then
when you say is their tension? Guess what you're doing,
you're taking yourself out of it. You're saying, well, I'm
just a passive observer and I'm observing ten.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
I guess, And therefore the warning should have been I
feel tension.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
Do you as well feel it? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (48:25):
I do not, but I see you and I feel you.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Can't believe you did therapy. At me, this is unbelievable.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
I don't consent to therapy. Is a good t shirt?

Speaker 3 (48:37):
Well, I think you know, last time you did the podcast,
I'm remembering you did something really interesting, which is we
were on zoom.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
We have to do the clapping. No, no, no, I have
to do it again right now. Yeah, let's be have
to clap just to one.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
Okay, so now everything's gonna be off.

Speaker 3 (48:55):
When we did it on Zoomah, something really interesting happened
and it's a exactly the kind of thing that you know,
my glasses nature is like alarm, alarm, alarm, which is
it was eating no, no, no, the well that too.
It was later in the day. It was let's say
it was you know, seven pm.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
So in the I got sleepy. No, no, in the.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
Keep gussing, I want to know what you think the
mistakes you made work.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
As the podcast went on.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
Something As the podcast went on to the call, the
sun was setting. So what was happening is your room?

Speaker 4 (49:34):
No, no, there's a part where you have control your room,
and all of our rooms went fro went from sunny
to pitch black in the span of the hour and
fifteen minutes that we did the podcast.

Speaker 3 (49:46):
Both of us turned on a light at some point.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
Well, me, should program my light's automatically turn on?

Speaker 2 (49:52):
Really when the sun is setting.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Okay, just saying cool. I didn't turn on the light.
I'm just saying great.

Speaker 3 (50:02):
And you chose not to turn on a light. So
by the end of it, it was pitch black on
your zoom start, like literally complete darkness, pitch black. We
took a photo of it, and I believe you're playing
on your floor. Each of us, each of us was
lit like in a normal room. Yeah, and you're square
on zoom was pitch black and we could not see
your face.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Well, why is it lit room or normal room? Why
are we so afraid of darkness?

Speaker 3 (50:30):
I guess in this instance the reason I would say
is that the point of.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
Zoom is to see? Was that the point of zoom? Yeah?
Otherwise it would just be a call, Oh, I see
what you mean. So the camera was on. So were
you scared that I was doing? What you effectively did
was turn the camera off.

Speaker 3 (50:48):
No, we didn't think you were jerking it. If that's
what you're asking, it would be such a crazy thing
for you to do. To be jerking it, well, well
it's time to dark it.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
That would be an amazing wrinkle in your personality.

Speaker 3 (51:00):
It's like you were literally going, Jeffrey, what's the guy
the New York c writor that, Oh it's Goodfrey Goldberg.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
It's like it's like Tubin or like Jeffrey Tubin. Yes,
you were going Jeffrey Tuban mode. He was.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
He was jerking it, yeah, oh yes, but but.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
You was over Yeah, but he did like a few times.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
I think he did it a few times.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
Yeah, I believe so.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
And it was like turned it back on. I was like, sorry, guys,
just one more thing.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
Wait before I forget.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
You know what's sick and twisted about me?

Speaker 2 (51:31):
What you know what's sick and twisted about that? You?

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Like when I hear about that, I'm like nice, like,
I'm like, I wish that woul happen to me.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
Well okay, sorry, Well of course some you wish that
happened to you, that you were a.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
Coworker was like jerking off, and I'd be.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
Like, whoa totally.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
And the thing is, what's the issue is you can't
be sure that all the coworkers would be like you.

Speaker 2 (51:53):
In fact, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
That it's not impossible that some people would be turned on,
where it's not everyone would be turned on.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
You would be turned on or excited because it's a
good anecdote.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Oh that's actually I didn't even think about the good
anecdote part.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
Okay, okay, okay. So you were like you would you
would you then start jernking off. I do a breakout room.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
I do a breakout room.

Speaker 3 (52:19):
I want a breakout room. And but you yours is consent.
It's like if it's like, okay, you guys, I.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
Am going to jerk off.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
If anyone wants to join, like there's a meeting code,
I will have to accept you. And yeah it's a
break breakout room.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
Yeah, a breakout room. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:37):
So Jeffrey starts jerking it. Sam is like, so, this
is how not to do things. But if anyone wants
to see me in a.

Speaker 1 (52:43):
Sidebar, first of all, I love what you're doing. I
do think it's inappropriate generally. Yeah, but I'll do a
side room.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
And if anyone wants to join, yeah, just know that
that's happening.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
Don't know that's happening.

Speaker 3 (52:54):
You know when my pet peeves, what starting a sentence
with so in a fundescending way? Oh, I like, well so,
but it's also being like so the way the room works.
Oh yeah, it really like and it's also you know
what it gives to me people who in their bio

(53:15):
also have educator educator It's like and they're not teachers exactly.
It's like queer like writer, storyteller, educator. I've never encountered
they're going to go ahead and start every sentence with so.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
I've never encountered that. You will know you are lucky,
let me say that. And these are self elected educators, correct,
from from the university of them period.

Speaker 3 (53:39):
They have a university of they have them more like wow, wow,
I'm kidding.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
Snip, sip, snip, what are you snipping? Oh, I'm editing
that out.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
Oh I thought you were circumcising George.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
No, no, not again.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
Okay, So we rate our guests. I'm skilled one to
one thousand doves. After that segment, who so he was
on track? Yeah, we rate our guests on the skills.
You already one thousand doves. Are you familiar with thea.

Speaker 2 (54:18):
What do they symbolize in the song?

Speaker 1 (54:20):
I don't. In the song, I would say they symbolize freedom.

Speaker 2 (54:23):
You're a bit of a gaga scholar. I think their freedom,
You think their freedom.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (54:28):
I would go so far as to say generally they
symbolize freedom or peace.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
Peace. I think it's peace, not freedom. Well, but it
is in peace freedom?

Speaker 1 (54:37):
Fuck?

Speaker 2 (54:38):
Fuck? What do you have freedom without peace? What about weddings?
That's just when you release the doves.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
This is a good question. Actually, in weddings, does it
symbolize peace more or freedom more? When they release doves?
Definitely not freedom, not freedom. Yeah, unless you find freedom
in love.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
What if it's your freedom flying away?

Speaker 4 (54:58):
Oh god, yeah, it's kind of dark.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
It's like congrats, you're tropped. Yeah, bye bye. The mother
in law shoots them?

Speaker 1 (55:08):
Yeah, oh my god, really good.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
I bet you if they do do that in Italy, Italy, Italy.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
So we were gonna we should talk about our topic.
I guess yeah, now I'm bibo.

Speaker 3 (55:23):
No, I'm not even looking at my watch. I've never
been more relaxed.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
And does your watch? Is your watch set to Timelio?

Speaker 3 (55:31):
That is the most like Julio question I've ever heard. Yes,
my watch is said to really mad me use it
to tell time? Yeah, because I don't want to look
at my phone?

Speaker 2 (55:40):
Oh okay, do you I have many watches, It never
occurred to me to set them to time.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
But like, do you ever wish you didn't have to
look at your phone when you wanted to know what
time it is? I love asking people what time it is,
So that's how you find out what time it is.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
Yeah, it's like the movie Crash.

Speaker 2 (55:56):
What if you're alone? What if I'm alone? Yeah, you're okay,
you know I'm not desperately needed anywhere. So well, you're
currently doing an off Broadway run.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
Well, yeah, this is an interesting little thing with you though,
like you have like you you're both like extremely free
and like whatever, I don't know what time it is,
and you're also like pretty on time to stuff and
like very like.

Speaker 3 (56:18):
Really efficient, yeah, and also efficient and productive and prolific.

Speaker 2 (56:22):
It's like I think I'm productive. I don't know that
I'm efficient.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
Like so, for example, for your opening night, I was
like like, I was like could I come? And you
were like yes, because I was like, I'm gonna be
in town and I was like, like not getting like that.
I never got an email confirmation, but I was like,
I just know that it will work because Julio doesn't
mess up, you know. Like I was like, I won't

(56:48):
have the email, but I'll show up and it will work.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
But I don't think that's that's my credit. I think
that there is. I think that my incompetence okay, I
think that this is what it is. Okay. I think
that I am lucky enough that my incompetence surrounds me
with very competent people that know that they need to
feel in my blanks that what they contribute to my

(57:14):
realm is order. Bobo.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
It's like a shell. You're like a squishy center and
you surround yourself with a hard shell.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
Well, in that metaphor, incompetence is is vulnerable and competence
is strength. But you don't I don't think that I
don't think I'm vulnerable. I just think I'm messy.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
I would say the goo inside of a thing is messy.

Speaker 2 (57:40):
Yeah, but you're not in the goo inside of the thing.
But you're not in and of the T shirt. The
goo inside of the thing is messy. Wait, oh my god?
Should I just yah to release me of this episode?
The go inside of the thing is messy? Behind behind

(58:02):
his shadow, I did not consent to there. Those are
really good. Yeah. I smell a capsule collection. I smell
a capsule collect Stradia lab x Julio. No, we need
a we need a brand. You need a Yeah. Well,
it's fashion week. Get out there and make some connections.
I should. Yeah. Should we get into our topic?

Speaker 1 (58:25):
We should?

Speaker 3 (58:26):
Yeah, Julio, what is your straight topic today?

Speaker 2 (58:29):
And what is straight about it? I am offering up
to the council kitchen islands.

Speaker 1 (58:37):
Oh that's interesting.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
Oh no, I'm sorry. No no, no, no, no, no no,
I'm walking about take that from the top.

Speaker 3 (58:42):
Let's so, the way this is going to work is
I'm going to ask you what your topic is, and
then you tell us the pre agreed one that we
talked about beforehand. I remember, we all get any time
you have any questions.

Speaker 1 (58:51):
The one that was approved.

Speaker 3 (58:52):
Melissa is seed on this email and she has all
the notes from the previous meeting.

Speaker 1 (58:58):
First of all, we love kitchen islands. We just really
want to go through the process that we set up early.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
No, that's that's fair. That's fair. The topic I bring
forward to the council is deodorant. Wow, Wow, deodorant.

Speaker 1 (59:13):
And this is a rich one for us, So what about.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
I am first of all, I am shocked that you
haven't discussed this in your podcast already because for you,
Sam particularly, Yeah, I think is I think that the
odorant occupies a significant part of the pie chart. That
is Sam, It's like thoughts about deodorant. It's a huge
thing for me, famously a stinker.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
Yes, I did not wear the ordorant for most of
my twenties, and maybe.

Speaker 2 (59:40):
It's because I thought that you still were not wearing
the ordorant.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
Honestly. It was working in Godfice, Oh honestly, I found Christianity. Yeah,
and I said, there's.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
No going back working in an office.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
Because I was working at after midnight and it was
like fully like an office, like you're like in a
room with people all day.

Speaker 2 (59:59):
Oh, because obviously before you were working outdoors.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
Exact dogwalk dog walking, moving or like muscle little kids. Yeah,
like you can be stinky, but.

Speaker 3 (01:00:09):
You were, sorry to complicate the narrative going to shows,
you were a working stand up comedian and going to
pretty enclosed, intimate spaces. A green room is actually more
intimate than a than a I never smelled horrible.

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
I never smelled bad. It was just like.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
George looks away.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
I was just getting the tea. You just saw a
moment where you could sip tea.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
Sorry, I was just sipping my te.

Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
Oh my god, did I smell bad? Julio?

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
So I Actually it's a yes, or.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
Starting a sentence of so, go on, so so.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
So you did not smell bad to me. However, people
that are stickless about the ornant would have said that
you smelled bad.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Unbelievable, unbelievable.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
I would unfortunately have to agree, Wow, yeah, so is it.
I don't and I have I'm sorry to say, notice
the difference.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
So I I I have no problem with the way
a body smells. It doesn't get to me at all.
But I do understand that there are a lot of
people that do have problems with it, and those people
would qualify you as stinky unbelievable. Well, okay, I was
always a little I don't wear deodorant really, yeah, well

(01:01:30):
you don't smell at all. Hmm. Interesting, I don't wear deodorant. No,
I've never bought it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
I remember when you were rubbing a crystal on your
that was my attempt to do that, and you've stopped
doing that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
Yeah, it wasn't really doing anything, And I realized that
I was just trying to find a compromise between the
expectation and what I wanted to do, which was nothing.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
You know what you were doing. It's like when like
someone washing, like pretends to wash their hands just to
be like, yeah I did.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
It, yeah, like sure for sure, for sure, for sure?
Yeah yeah, like they did a little claw. I love
the little claw. I love the little clawn to the water.
Just like, can you tell us what is straight about? Right?
The shame of the body? Okay? Interesting, like uh, the

(01:02:19):
sanitization of the body, the uh trying to disguise the
body into a vessel that is merely a brick in
society or go going to an office. Yeah yeah right,
It's like, no, I'm prepares you for a respectable environment. Yes, yeah,

(01:02:39):
it's like wearing a tie, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:02:41):
I would say, and it's interesting to mention ties.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
I would say.

Speaker 3 (01:02:44):
One huge element of the straightness is the gender dynamics
of it. So like a sort of a very lady
exactly and make like a very kind of cliche thing
is just how insanely lady and gentlemen the same are.
Like the lady ones are literally like flower virginity, clean linen,

(01:03:05):
and then the male ones are are truly like murder, artillery, artillery, wolverine, wolverine.
And I actually I have been thinking about this a
lot because with the kind of evolution of masculinity I
have located the name of your book, Yes, it's actually
it's actually the evolution of masculinity I have located someone

(01:03:32):
has done the impossible in the advertising agencies, and they
have created a new version of a masculine scent that
is fit for the twentieth century trifer century man.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
So it used to be it was like race garc.

Speaker 3 (01:03:46):
And yeah, but like a in a literal way, like
I'm trying to think of a non joke one that's
like real. It was like what's like a genuine like
old spice.

Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
Well or like an axe body spread.

Speaker 3 (01:03:56):
Yeah, yeah, it would be like like like wood and yeah,
so I so the one that I've seen is stone.
And this is what I think is like because it's
it's this genius way to retain the masculinity of something
while also making it metrosexual and feminine like you Actually
it's it's not emasculating to be stone, but it also

(01:04:18):
is so smooth and non problematic and part of nature.
It's like the It's like Glenn Powell is stone. He's
not as masculine as you know, Sylvester st Alone, but
he's not as fag.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
The latest in a long sure, Ryan Gosling before him
was a stone.

Speaker 3 (01:04:41):
Yeah, exactly exactly, it's not it doesn't go as far
as to be you know, Timothy Shallome.

Speaker 2 (01:04:47):
But it's also not Hercules, although Hercules also is Hercules,
the character Hercules, yes, okay, okay, and by Hercules you
mean like pre Disney, like the real but but under
that category you would pull like John Cena, yes exactly, yeah, yeah,
John Cena is interesting. John Cena. He's like stepping Yeah,

(01:05:09):
he is more stone or stone.

Speaker 3 (01:05:10):
Yeah, and interestingly the rockets he's gotten older is also
being more stone.

Speaker 2 (01:05:15):
Yes, uh, all these men that we've mentioned. Yeah, deorderant, right, yes, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
Well here's the thing. It is, like I think ideologically
I don't support deodorant, but I also don't want to
be offensive in a smell sense, like I.

Speaker 2 (01:05:33):
Do you actually think, okay, yeah, say you went to
the writer's room of of the show and you were stinky. Okay, Now,
other than maybe a couple of people noting it, and
because it's a roomful of comedians making a couple of
jokes that you would probably laugh at also and then

(01:05:54):
moving on with your lives, do you think it would
have actually been that destructive to the work environment.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
I think, well, hmmm, and you might be therapizing me
without my consent, but I think it would be like
like a way to like shit talk me, sort of
like behind my back, almost like they.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
Wouldn't make the bloodgates.

Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
And then suddenly we're not even just talking about the stent.
We're talking about he was late. Then he keeps exactly
a look at his workspace, there's rappers there. He's actually
not that funny if you think about it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
Why does he have this job?

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
Interesting?

Speaker 1 (01:06:33):
So it's it's very talk about shell. It's like a
defense to be like, don't give them something.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
Well, which is what I Okay, I'm sorry, I don't.
I really don't want to like be like promoting my work,
but you should be. That to me is what wearing
navy blue is is being like, don't see me, I'm
one of you. Were marching towards the same place.

Speaker 1 (01:06:56):
I but an office. I think that is what I
But isn't that what you're supposed to do in an office?

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
But but but you're you're there as a comedian in
a comedy show. Yeah, it's like the office should bend, sorry,
the the infrastructure of the place should bend to the
the utility of the place, not the other way around.
You shouldn't start wearing deodorant because the addres they gave you,
as in a building with air I have.

Speaker 3 (01:07:26):
I'm like, I'm struggling with this. Okay, where do you
where do you say? I just what is a comedian?
But what is being a comedian have to do with
wearing deoda? I mean I understand, like on a very
very very broad level, it's like, so you're supposed to
just like be punk rock and not follow any of
the roles of society. But like you are waking up

(01:07:46):
every day putting on clothes, you are brushing your teeth,
you are showering. What is it about deodorant specifically? That
is this like flashpoint where you're like, this is if
they take away my body scent.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
The fact that he doesn't want to do it. He
does want to brush his teeth, he does want to
take a shower, he does want to wear clothes.

Speaker 3 (01:08:04):
But do you want to wake up every day at
eight at like six am to go to the office.

Speaker 2 (01:08:08):
Do you want to That is a necessity of the job.
Wearing the odrant is not a necessarily job. This is
where writing comedy is a necessity of the job of
a comedy writer. Why do you.

Speaker 3 (01:08:19):
Not want to wear a yodor m Well, I think
because it is like a fear thing.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
Like it's like I'm not wearing it because I smell
bad to myself. I'm wearing it because I don't want
to be offensive to others. And I'm kind of like
if it were just me, like brushing your teeth feels good,
and you're like and you want like good teeth and
for them to like stay healthy.

Speaker 2 (01:08:37):
Yeah, But like the odoran is just like I mean
there is a medical utility to brushing your teeth. Yeah, yeah,
there is none to wearing the order.

Speaker 3 (01:08:42):
But I just isn't isn't or shaving? Isn't being like
pro social? If this is something that bothers others like,
isn't that what being part of a community is like?

Speaker 2 (01:08:51):
To me?

Speaker 3 (01:08:51):
It's like a It's it's not oppressive, it's community oriented
to be like, this is how we you know, it's
like cleaning up after yourself. If you like put a
have a coffee and put the mug in the sink
or something, and you think.

Speaker 2 (01:09:04):
You think that a person's natural scent is as bad
as littering. What do you mean you just compared it
to like leaving leaving garbage or like, what was it
like not cleaning up after yourself in a kitchen?

Speaker 3 (01:09:18):
Well, it's just like naturally, as a person, you will
like leaving a trail behind, whether it's objects or a scent,
or whether it's like you know, cleaning up after yourself.
I'm not it's not like I'm not saying it's garbage,
but I'm saying it's like when you exist within a community.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
I think I think it's I think I think that
the that the orderant thing to me at least holds
hands with like women should shave their legs or they're
they're under arms, and it's like and then people are like, well,
we don't want to see that, we don't want to
see it, and it's just like, oh, okay, okay, this
is interesting because I I like this because it's sort of.

Speaker 3 (01:09:55):
Compares two different senses. To me, not wanting to see
something is not enough of a reason for someone to
change your behavior, but smell is somehow more. And I
think it might literally just be a personal thing because
I do I am sensitive to smell, so it if
someone is like, even on the other side of things,
wearing too much colone or something, I really don't like

(01:10:17):
that because it bothers me. Whereas you can come in
wearing like a crazy stained bedsheet with your cock out
and I'd be like, it's not bothering me.

Speaker 2 (01:10:29):
What are some what are some sense that do bother you? Sense? Sense?

Speaker 3 (01:10:38):
I mean, like breath smelling bad bothers me, like specific
specific kinds of bo I would say, like in terms
of scented product, I don't like a rose scent.

Speaker 1 (01:10:53):
Interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:10:54):
Are there any sense that bother you or no, you
don't relate.

Speaker 2 (01:10:59):
It has to be like a really really powerful like
chemical smell to bother me.

Speaker 1 (01:11:03):
Yeah, and with bad breath usually I feel bad for
the person, Like I'm not like this is nasty.

Speaker 2 (01:11:08):
Oh, I definitely feel bad. I'm not gonna punch them
in the face.

Speaker 1 (01:11:11):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:12):
Well, and there's we I think we can zoom out
a little as well. There is an interesting in the
gay community conversation about like the blue haired liberal for Republicans,
the non deodorant gay guy is like such a thing
right now, as like this weird villain where it's like, hey,
could somebody tell the Brooklyn gays to put on some deodorant? Yeah,

(01:11:34):
like one hundred likes and it's kind of like, okay,
what's going on?

Speaker 2 (01:11:37):
One hundred likes.

Speaker 1 (01:11:40):
That's just in the first second, by the way, Okay,
it's going viral.

Speaker 2 (01:11:43):
Yeah, okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:45):
We should all post it and see how well it does.

Speaker 3 (01:11:49):
No, it is a weird I'll say this. I think
scent and like body order is a weird, guarded, coded
way of talking about bigger issues.

Speaker 2 (01:11:58):
It's like what you're talking doing microplastics, Yeah, but they're orderless.

Speaker 3 (01:12:08):
It's like with the blue hair that your issue isn't
that someone dyed their hair blue, it's that they went
to Oberlin.

Speaker 2 (01:12:16):
So you think it's a class thing. Is that a class?
Is that?

Speaker 3 (01:12:18):
I think it is a well, I think it's a combination.
I think certainly it's a class thing, and I certainly
think both the blue hair and the non deodorant it
implies a certain kind of like creative culture worker that
can quote unquote afford to have this like stinky, funky look.

Speaker 1 (01:12:42):
I think I didn't want to be like you stink,
Like I don't want to be like I stink, but
I want to be like I don't wear the yoder
You know, I've never been so blankly started out in
my life.

Speaker 3 (01:12:55):
Wait when are you when you say I didn't want when.

Speaker 1 (01:12:58):
Like when I wasn't wearing yodorant. Yeah, in my non
dudoran era, Yeah, I didn't want to be like, oh
he's nasty and like he's just like.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
It wasn't pride. It was that you want like, oh
I feel so stinky.

Speaker 1 (01:13:08):
Yeah, I'm fucking punk.

Speaker 3 (01:13:10):
It was confusing because you did say little ky thin
part of the stinkiest part of the little.

Speaker 1 (01:13:15):
Stinker was like little stinker was like everything though it
wasn't like literal smell, like similar to how your colors
you're not saying this color like.

Speaker 3 (01:13:23):
It's a is almost like reclaiming the word bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:13:28):
Yes, little stinker was like, because I'm also like a little.

Speaker 2 (01:13:32):
Little sinkers or who are the little sinkers?

Speaker 1 (01:13:33):
Little stinker was me. I was like, you're the little
but that's because I was like a little stinker in
every way, Like I was like a little stinker, like
I would just like and you.

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
No longer feel like a little sinker.

Speaker 1 (01:13:42):
No, I'm not a little stinker.

Speaker 2 (01:13:44):
Who are you now?

Speaker 1 (01:13:45):
Literally? That's why I keep asking myself. I'm in a
crisis of self, to be honest, I'm worrying to order it.
I don't I live in La.

Speaker 2 (01:13:53):
You were to order it? You live in La? You
have a husband?

Speaker 1 (01:13:56):
Yeah? Who am I? What have I become?

Speaker 2 (01:13:59):
Well? Do you like this? Do you like all these things?

Speaker 1 (01:14:01):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:14:04):
True? Well you don't. I get it.

Speaker 1 (01:14:06):
I know I'm going to move back you are yeah,
oh good. Yeah it's not right. It's not right.

Speaker 2 (01:14:11):
Yeah, it isn't.

Speaker 1 (01:14:14):
Like the way that being there, I really just A'm like,
who am I? Like? All the time? Yeah that I've
got to come back.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
So where are we with?

Speaker 1 (01:14:23):
But look okay, so like yeah, I don't know, it's complicated.
Like the goal wasn't to stink.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
The goal wasn't to stink. The goal was never to
stink another T shirt. The goal was never to stink.
The goal was like it was like freedom. The goal
was never too stink period. The goal was freedom, period.
The goal was never to stink. The goal was freedom.

(01:14:50):
I'm Sam. You might be thinking, how did I get here? Well,
that's not good. I little, that's not good. Ahead of
ourselves it all started.

Speaker 3 (01:15:00):
There's almost fascinating about like it's like you're the goal
with freedom, and yet you have intellectualized it so much.

Speaker 2 (01:15:06):
It's so funny.

Speaker 3 (01:15:07):
Like, whereas I have always worn yodorant, I've never given
a thought like I'm literally doing to CVS and I'm
buying whatever old spice, Like I don't even wear like
a fancy I've never.

Speaker 2 (01:15:17):
Think it's an umbrella. It's raining you. That's exactly what
it is.

Speaker 3 (01:15:20):
It is the most utility, the most utilitarian. In the
same way that I go out and I you know,
I have buzzed head, so I buy like whatever head
and shoulders cheap champio. It is not an identity marker.
It is nothing for me. That's how I feel about yodorant.
And it's so funny funny.

Speaker 2 (01:15:36):
That the mess, the.

Speaker 3 (01:15:38):
Deliberated, deliberated one is the one over intellectualizing the like
poetics of being a little stinker.

Speaker 2 (01:15:45):
Well okay, and and see it is the uh uh,
the comfortable state of passivity that you are in. Yes,
that I that I hope that I would like for
everyone to be in, whether it's wearing it or not
wearing I see, I see. So you're sort of not
against the ordorant. I am against demanding, like being bothered

(01:16:06):
or having like such an opinion about it. The goal
was never to stink. The goal was freedom.

Speaker 3 (01:16:18):
Can I I think another straight thing about yoduran is
actually exactly what you're saying, like people talking about you
behind your back if you smell.

Speaker 2 (01:16:26):
It's a very like.

Speaker 3 (01:16:27):
Gossip Wasp's it's powered, it's powered, but it's also it's
very like wasp, like did you hear what she did?

Speaker 2 (01:16:33):
Like it's it's it's that it's not gossip in a
sort of because it's a transgression that is uh, it's
a it's a transgression that has discussed behind closed doors.
You can't like because those people it's like an affair. Yes, yes,
it's like an affair.

Speaker 3 (01:16:49):
Or it's like I think it's straight people love to
talk about Church didn't bring the castle role to the event, Like,
it's not gossip.

Speaker 2 (01:16:58):
That's fun.

Speaker 3 (01:16:58):
That's like, oh, which celebrity yelled at a service worker.
You know what it is, okay, Jennifer Lopez, she did, Well, probably.

Speaker 2 (01:17:11):
Know that. We don't know that.

Speaker 1 (01:17:14):
No, there's something about like two straight people each other
are pop stars at all times where they're like waiting
for them to fall.

Speaker 2 (01:17:22):
Oh my god, Yes, you're.

Speaker 1 (01:17:25):
Right, whereas like Forgave people, it's like.

Speaker 2 (01:17:27):
They make their own They print out their little US weeklies. Yeah,
and they're like, well literally in the form of a
family newsletter. They are their own some Christmas cards. Straight
people are their own.

Speaker 3 (01:17:40):
Even when you think of the traditional early Instagram, it's
like the photo of a coffee and a book. Wait wait, Iran,
actually okay.

Speaker 2 (01:17:48):
This was another topic that I was going to bring
of of straight culture. Is using Instagram for its intended purpose? Yes, yes,
totally using Instagram as it was designed to be used,
not subverting the form in any way, just being like today,
what Sunday and I went to the park, I graduated
from my masters. My sister's getting married. Family photo in Hawaii.

(01:18:13):
The thing is about last night?

Speaker 1 (01:18:15):
I stop, I would give anything.

Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
Wait about last night?

Speaker 1 (01:18:19):
Is my favorite?

Speaker 2 (01:18:20):
About last night is brutal? What about sometimes we dress up?

Speaker 1 (01:18:25):
That's really good, that's really good. But I wish Instagram
was that, Like it's like I'd rather have that than
like Unfortunately, as someone who post podcasts reels, podcast reels.

Speaker 2 (01:18:34):
Well, of course what I actually wish. And this gay
guys always promoting, which is why a gay guy is
always always pushing product.

Speaker 3 (01:18:41):
And the product can like just be like I'm a
gay guy.

Speaker 2 (01:18:44):
Oh that's like that's always gay guys that have they
have photo shoots on the rooftops, but they are not
in an industry that requires photo shoot. Crazy. It's like,
oh wait, you're like you do like marketing for like yes,
and why are you in your.

Speaker 3 (01:19:05):
And then the caption is the photographer's name is you know, Evan,
and the captain Evan is a genius.

Speaker 2 (01:19:10):
He's a genius. He's a genius. Oh my god, wait,
I was about to say no, go on Sam, you were.

Speaker 1 (01:19:16):
Wait, I don't think I had anything.

Speaker 2 (01:19:17):
Oh no, someone new vamp so that I could remember
what I was gonna say.

Speaker 1 (01:19:22):
Evan genius Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:19:26):
Instagram for its intended purpose having uh oh oh, yes, yes,
have you seen uh the latest Jurassic Park movie the
scarlettohs okay, but okay, this is very gay guy. This
is a highly gay guy of of the movie of

(01:19:47):
like in relationship to like how gay men are constantly
selling Johnson Bailey plays a paleontologist in the movie. Uh,
he doesn't. Like he's definitely not Scarlett Johansson's love interest.
He's not playing straight. He's just playing a guy. Oh,
he's just playing a guy. That is.

Speaker 3 (01:20:08):
I thought he was gay in the movie. Is that wrong?

Speaker 2 (01:20:10):
I think he just sort of infer that he's okay
because he.

Speaker 1 (01:20:12):
Like the Bibo of the movie.

Speaker 2 (01:20:14):
He is the Bibo of the movie. Yeah, he is
the Bible of the movie. Okay, yeah, yeah, one of
the Architect's hero villain b Bibo. Scarlett Johansson, Charlotte Johanson.

Speaker 1 (01:20:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:20:32):
But in the movie, he's a paleontologist and they recruit
him by going to the museum and so because where
he works and he's like going through the exhibition, and
then he's talking about how sad and stressed he is.
The tickets for the exhibition aren't selling well. And then

(01:20:53):
that's when you know he's a gay guy, because it's like,
why is the scientist, Why is the paleontologist stressed about?
Is he posting a link? His job is just to
like analyze the bones.

Speaker 1 (01:21:08):
He's like, seriously, you guys, because I got some new bones.
I'm sourcy. It's gonna be make some new and old home.

Speaker 2 (01:21:15):
Why is it his little show that he's stressed to promote?
And it's like, you mean to tell me that he's
going to the like scary dinosaur Island so he can
get like new content.

Speaker 1 (01:21:25):
This is that literally what he's doing.

Speaker 2 (01:21:28):
I mean, it's sort of implied that that's what he's doing.

Speaker 1 (01:21:30):
He's like, I need to mid My show is losing numbers.
I neednas This.

Speaker 3 (01:21:34):
Is a new progressive way to have a queer coded
character is that they're stressed about ticket sales. It's like,
no matter what their job is, they could be a doctor.
They're like, no surgery is coming up this month?

Speaker 2 (01:21:44):
Yeah, or like people aren't posting about the hospital.

Speaker 1 (01:21:48):
Which actually jos have work to do.

Speaker 2 (01:21:51):
There are dinosaur bones that need like arranging or whatever. Yeah,
it's like, well, no one's no one's like into dinosaurs anymore.
Can you imagine, sorry, can you imagine being an astronomer
or like or like a brain surgeon to me, like,
no one needs to like brains anymore. Like, yeah, I
have to do surgeries because people do get sick. But
like no one's like posting about like brains aren't trending

(01:22:12):
right now.

Speaker 3 (01:22:12):
Yeah, everyone's posting about ozempic. Meanwhile, I'm removing tuner from
tumors from people's brain.

Speaker 1 (01:22:17):
I guess I could have invented a ltle boo boo,
but instead I decided to go to brains. Yeah, but
this is like there's something. To be a good member
of the LGBTQ plus community, you have to always be
buying tickets because because that means you're like really supporting
in the community, because you also have to assume that

(01:22:37):
people are buying toket to see you and you're buying it's.

Speaker 2 (01:22:39):
A takead base, it's a based community.

Speaker 3 (01:22:43):
The Dice app that that's literally a money laundering app
for LGBTQ plus creatives.

Speaker 1 (01:22:48):
Yeah, yeah, wow, we have people. Oh wow, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:22:56):
Oh wait, and I have a show to get to too.

Speaker 1 (01:22:58):
Oh my god. You have to be on Broadway.

Speaker 2 (01:23:00):
Go on, happy to be on Broadway. Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:23:02):
Our final segment, Our final segment. Our final segment is
called shout outs, and in this segment we pay homage
to the classic straight tradition of the radio shout out
by shouting out something that we are absolutely living for.

Speaker 1 (01:23:17):
You go first, yeah, we always.

Speaker 3 (01:23:19):
We always go first and make it up on the spot.
I don't have one, but I will think of one
in mere seconds.

Speaker 1 (01:23:24):
Okay, I'm going to give a shout out to the
pod hotel. What's a pod hotel? You put your toilets
in the shower and it is so amazing. I feel
like I'm in a future dorm. That is horrible and expensive.
I don't know how you do it. I don't know
why I always go there, but it is just always
I always go there.

Speaker 2 (01:23:44):
What do you mean? You always go there? When I
come here? Now?

Speaker 1 (01:23:47):
I stay there?

Speaker 2 (01:23:48):
Why?

Speaker 1 (01:23:48):
Because it's the cheapest one like in that area, but
it's still fifty dollars cheaper. I literally am insane. And
that's where I say, because I don't deserve anything nicer
that fifty dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:24:03):
I haven't.

Speaker 1 (01:24:03):
I'm not there yet, and I think it would be
unethical for me to jump ahead until the greater powers decide.
You know what you've earned it? Well, I don't know
what that is, but I'm not there yet. So shout
out to the Pod. You are my home away from
home right now?

Speaker 2 (01:24:19):
Well, yes, do you think they're gonna let you in
after this?

Speaker 1 (01:24:24):
Do you think I'm gonna be bad?

Speaker 2 (01:24:26):
Maybe your cart's not working?

Speaker 1 (01:24:29):
Shout out the Pot Hotel, which I love, and I
love how efficient and beautiful it is. So many outdoor
spaces which I haven't taken advantage of yet, but I
certainly will. There is free coffee in the mornings, but
I don't do that because part of the fun is
walking to get a coffee, and I think I love
that you make New York City accessible to me and

(01:24:52):
many other LGBTQ plus creators that go to and throw.
So shout out to the Pod Hotel. I love you,
and I'm sorry about the bad stuff I said earlier.
I love you and I always say their xoxs.

Speaker 2 (01:25:02):
So, by.

Speaker 3 (01:25:04):
What's up, theatergoers? I want to give a shout out
to John Proctor is the villain. I believe that at
this point it's actually not on Broadway anymore. So this
is not really going to help anyone. But let me
tell you something. You know, you see a play and
it's it's set in twenty eighteen, and it's about me too.
You say, hello, I don't want to go back there?
What button do I press to go forward or not backwards?

(01:25:25):
You say, I don't know if I'm going to enjoy this.
I don't know if I want to relive that time,
and I don't know if I want to have a
sort of like preachy kind of Broadway something that panders
to Broadway audience is about me too. But guess what,
it's genius. It's brilliant. It made me cry twice. Teenage
girls are strong, and Lord the artist is amazing. There's

(01:25:46):
I don't want to spoil anything, but at the end
there's a big moment involving a Lord song.

Speaker 2 (01:25:52):
All the actors are incredible.

Speaker 3 (01:25:53):
I can't wait for some sort of badass creator to
turn it into a film so that everyone has a
chance to see it, not just people who are able
to spend one million.

Speaker 2 (01:26:04):
Dollars on Broadway tickets and pretty much congratulations to all involved.

Speaker 1 (01:26:10):
At first, I thought you said when you first said
Lord's name, I thought you were selling like exclamation, like
Lord the artist is amazing that you were just saying, Lord,
are part.

Speaker 3 (01:26:21):
Of the It's twenty eighteen, so melodrama has just come out.
Oh my god, I would love to be back because
I was like, damn, twenty teen sort of sucked.

Speaker 2 (01:26:29):
Trump had just gotten elected.

Speaker 3 (01:26:31):
But then I realized also melodrama had come out, and
you know, to be reminded of that, we were saying,
there are some good things that happened during that era.

Speaker 1 (01:26:37):
Huge out to melodrama. Okay, Coolly, whenever you're ready.

Speaker 2 (01:26:41):
I think I'm just gonna do shout out to Georgia's shoes.
Tell us about them. I really like them. What are they?
They're Okay, you don't like Meryl's. You don't like it?
Do you like them? I do like it. They are
literally well, you know, we sort of started with you
with you making fun of the things that I'm wearing,
and so I like them. What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:27:04):
The glass glasses?

Speaker 2 (01:27:05):
Oh, the glasses.

Speaker 1 (01:27:06):
But that was that was he was giving you a tip.

Speaker 2 (01:27:08):
So just giving you tips just I'm just here to help. Well,
these are hiking shoes.

Speaker 3 (01:27:14):
And you know, when I bought them, I said, do
you no, No, I bought them because I thought they
looked cool in a sort of like they you know,
gig guy Salomon kind of way. But then they came
and they are actually quite a bit chunky, like they
really are for for hikes.

Speaker 1 (01:27:25):
They're great.

Speaker 2 (01:27:26):
Thank you. Okay, wait, you didn't like that shout out.
Let me do another one. Shout out. Wait, so the
shout outs are are are just anything? No mine, but
mine wasn't. Sorry there wasn't. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
you did enjoy it.

Speaker 1 (01:27:43):
Okay, it's just hard for us to be positive sometimes.

Speaker 2 (01:27:47):
Yeah, shout out to shout out to I'm just looking
about the room.

Speaker 1 (01:27:57):
Yeah you're like rug, rug to rug.

Speaker 2 (01:28:01):
Shout to TV, this is good night moon. But yeah,
shout out to plants. Shout out to you, the listener
at home. Look right into the camera to you, the
listener or watcher at home, who have endured yet another

(01:28:22):
hour or so of media. I hope that we brought
you peace, some joy, and some laughs. And always remember
the goal was never to stink. The goal was freedom.

Speaker 5 (01:28:36):
We'll Be Right Back podcast and Now want more, Subscribe
to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month, discord access,
and more by heading to patreon dot com. Slash Stradio Lab.

Speaker 1 (01:28:50):
And for all our visual earners, free full length video
episodes are available on our YouTube now. Get Back to
Work Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big
Money Players Network and Iheartpotcasts.

Speaker 5 (01:29:00):
Created and hosted by George Severies and Sam Taggart.

Speaker 1 (01:29:03):
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Soni and Olivia Aguilar,
co produced by Bei Wang, edited and engineered by Adam Avalos.
Artwork by Michael Fails and Matt Grugg. Theme music by
Ben Kling
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.

24/7 News: The Latest

24/7 News: The Latest

The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.

Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.