"Hookup Culture" w/ Kay Poyer

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello all, It's Sam here to remind you guys about
the West Coast leg of our stand up tour, which
is just around the corner at the end of September
slash early October. We are going to San Francisco, Seattle, Portland,
and Los Angeles, California. We have added a second date
in Seattle and we have added a late show in
Portland because our first dates for both sold out, So

(00:43):
get tickets to those extra dates. And I believe there's
still tickets for both San Francisco and Los Angeles, but
I can't say that forever. Oh amazing voice crack, so
get tickets. Oh yeah, and also I'm doing a solo
stand up show in New York on November seventh a
Union Hall. It's going to be small, intimate vibes. So basically,
get tickets to all of those shows at our bio.

(01:06):
And we have truly had so much fun doing co
headlining shows on the East Coast and we can't wait
to bring it to the West Coast. So see you
there and enjoy the episode. Xoxo Sam. Podcast starts now.
What is up everyone? You are listening to Stradio Lab
coming at you bi coastally what's.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Going on over there in the city of Los Angeles
would be okay.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
God, nothing, ain't nothing going on here? Wait, I have something.
So you know how I complain about LA all the time,
that's of my whole thing. Sure, so that's my whole thing.
And I recently had my brother in law come stay
with us this weekend, and I was like, okay, well,
let's like show them LA. Like you know, obviously I
complain about it constantly, but we'll we'll scramble together something fun.

(01:50):
And when I say we had the greatest weekend start
to finish, like, I was like, why would I ever
complain about this place? It's heaven on earth? And again
it's because I was seeing it the someone else's eyes
and who was just here for one weekend.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Sorry, I'm laughing because when you said brother in law,
my thought went to your sister's husband. And obviously we're
talking about one of Misha's gay brothers exactly. Yeah, Okay,
I was like, you did what.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Yeah, we took him to the Eagle and he really
liked it. No, No, we took one of Misha's gay
brothers shout out, shout out to all around town. And
it was so fun and like, obviously it's like the
thing with La, like we everywhere we went, we saw
people we knew and we were like, wow, what an
amazing community, and it was like fun start to finish.

(02:36):
But the thing is when you're here for a weekend,
of course, that's fun. When you're here for a month,
there's only six places you can go.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Yeah, it's interesting seeing something through someone else's eyes. Of course.
I recently had this experience because I rewatched the film
Materialists with my mom and I saw it through her eyes,
and I would say, through a mother's eyes, and I
now like that movie, which when I first saw it,
I said, this is not good and actually the dialogue
is really stunted and none of the performances make sense.

(03:06):
I watch for a second time, I said, oh, so
this is what they're up to in New York.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
No, I've always seen that film from a mother's perspective,
I must say.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Do you I it's interesting seeing something through a mother's
perspective can both be expansive, like you can. It can
actually give you a really new set of values and
an extended kind of empathy. But it can also be limiting,
you know, because it's like think of all the things
that we do in our daily lives that if you
saw from mother's eyes, you be horrified.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Well the things first of all, yes, everything we do
in our daily lives a mother would would run screaming at.
But I even think it's hard for me to shake
the mother's perspective when I'm listening to music, Like there's
always the mother inside of me being like what are
they doing these days? Like or like when something's too repetitive,
the mother perspective kicks in and goes like can we

(03:55):
skip it? Is this broken? Like, and I'm like, I
hate that.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
This is why I can I ever listened to like
one hundred gets because I love my mom too much.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
I mean literally, and even sometimes I'll listen to one
hundred gets to be like to make my inner mom upset, to.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Be like totally yeah, yeah, you want to be rebellious. Yeah.
And so you're listening to one hundred gigs alone in
your room.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Yeah, being like take that, take that mother perspective. I
love that. So so yeah, that's what's been up.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
That's what's going on. Should we bring in our guest?

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Is that crazy? I know? This is this is like
one of the world's shortest intros. But I'm sort of like,
I don't know, I'm looking at her right in front
of me. She's like in between us. She sort of
is giving honestly kind of challengers, like she'su zandaa and
where the two twains?

Speaker 1 (04:41):
And yet it's also like Ariel, like there's something Little
Mermaid going on here.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yeah, definitely little Mermaid because of the hair. For sure.
It's sort of like Little Mermaid if she also was
a raver.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yeah, you know, you know what it is, remember hipster
Ariel meme from literally hipster.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
Arial come to like, oh.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
Wait, I gotta break the silence that.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Okay, wait, please welcome, Please welcome, k.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Boyer, I was quiet for so long.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
Okay, wait, so you are so you are hipster Arial?
Have you sort of like I kind of planned your
look around that? No?

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Actually, well because my mom was a fake ginger and
so I was like, I'll just do that.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Which, so you were actually you're talking about seeing something
through your mother's eyes. You said I'm gonna.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
I'm gonna be hipster Ariel. Yes, Yeah, my mom was
regular arial and now hipster. So I'm excited to see
what my daughter becomes.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, what's your daughter going to become? She's going to
be like goth ariel.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
I don't know what she's going to be. I'm gonna
I am planning if I have a daughter, I'm going
to name her Sloan because I want her to be
predisposed to be at least like kind of a more butch,
bisexual type of vibe, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah,
but we'll see. I just want her to be evil.
I've just if I have a daughter, she needs to

(06:01):
be like a bitch.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
You know, Sloan is one of the more powerful names
because it's interesting you are saying that it's butch, and
of course I see where you're coming from. But also
imagine like a high femme business woman named Sloane.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
I don't know that the name is butlf, but it's
just like it's tough. Like you hear there's a girl
named Sloan, and you're like, Okay, she's probably gonna be pretty,
and she's probably gonna be like too cool for this,
And I.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Think you know, Sloan to me, she is a detective,
but she herself breaks the law to get to the
bottom of it.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Sure kind of like is that what no, Dexter's a
serial killer. I didn't want to show.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah, I'm realizing. Mostly what I'm picturing is the poster
for the film Miss Sloan starring Jessica Chastain, a film
I haven't seen, but she is a redhead in it,
and she's honestly kind of giving you I whoa.

Speaker 3 (06:50):
And I love that. It's she's giving me, not I'm
giving her. Thank you for that.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
I think she was based on you.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
She might have, you know, I wouldn't even be surprised.
At this point. I'm missing quite a few credits in
quite a few projects, so fuck that might be it.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Do you feel like you're always in the same room
as Jessica chest Stain and then she gets the role
and you don't.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
You know? I kind of, I kind of feel like
I've gotten I think I've gotten a lot of success
where Jessica has not managed to build her career in
the way that I have. And so I think when
Jessica gets a win, that's a win for me too,
because I think she needs it to feel secure when
we share our space together, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Nice.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
So, Jessica, if you're out there, I know you're watching it.
I'm happy for you.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yes, okay. I have a followup question. When Bryce Dallas
Howard gets a role, do you feel that that also
raises your profile or do you think that hurts your profile?

Speaker 3 (07:45):
So when Bryce Dallas Howard gets a role, I get
really confused because I say, wait, it's that Jessica chest Dain.
Did Jessica Chastain gonna BBL? And then I say, oh, no,
that's Bryce Dallas Howard. Where has she been? She is gorgeous,
price our good and she's great.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
That's good, that's good. I know you guys had beef
in the past.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
Yeah, well it was a small thing. You know, it's
not the same Jessica. I think we won't get into
that here. It's private information, but you know.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, of course, of course.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (08:15):
Well I you know, we said that we were all
in bad moods before we started recording, and I want
to say, off the bat, my mood has already improved tenfold,
and I kind of would.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
Yeah, And let me tell you something, if our guest
was Jessica chest Ay, my mood would not have improved
by this point. I would be like move, I would
be like running a mile a minute trying to get
literally anything out of that quirrel. I would be I
would be like trying to remember what project she's promoting
and how it's supposed to be empowering women, and you
know what streaming platform it's on, and you know it's

(08:44):
gonna be Apple TV plus.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
Yeah, a new Peacock original starring Jessica Chesta.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
You know I have just every month there's a new one.
There is always she's always in some propaganda film.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
Well, then, does she feel a lot of spies?

Speaker 2 (09:02):
I just feel like she's I guess maybe I'm mostly
thinking of zero Dirk thirty, but she's always sort of
she has like a like a chop bob and she's
like trying to convince the president that she's right.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
I have something to say. I think Jessica Chastain is
always like grateful to be there. Yeah, and we were
almost like drop it, like at this point, you're Jessica Chestain.
We all know who you are. You are like a
cultural figure, and she's always like, oh my god, I'm
just so grateful to be here, like this is so amazing,
and I'm like no, no, no, I want I'm craving
a little bit of entitledness from missus Chestain.

Speaker 3 (09:34):
To be honest, Jessica is she Every time I see
her in something, it's a movie that I'm rewatching for
like the fourth time, and I just noticed that Jessica
Justin was there, and I'm like, oh my god, I
just could do anything. Actually, like, what all has she
been in? I know? She was Tammy. She was Tammy.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
She was she won the literal oscar for Tammy Fay.
And then she also was famously in The Help. Yes,
and she was then And do you remember in the
summer of twenty twenty when The Help became the number
one most stream movie on Netflix, And then of course
there was like backlash that was like, well, actually, like
there are other movies you could be watching if you

(10:11):
are a white person who is feeling white guilt or whatever.
And then literally Jessica Chaskian had to release a statement, Wait,
I'm sorry, am I think that Bryce Dal's coward?

Speaker 1 (10:21):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (10:21):
No, you might be.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
You might I'm looking it up.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
You might be.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
It's literally both of them, WHOA and I were both
in it.

Speaker 3 (10:32):
But see, and that one it was easy to tell
because one of them, I believe it was Bryce was
the blonde. I'm kidding no, it was Wait, no, Jessica
was the blonde one.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Yeah, that sounds about right. And which one was evil
or were they both evil?

Speaker 3 (10:48):
I think Bryce was the evil one.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Okay, And you know what's so crazy, Emma Stone is
also in that movie.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
Wow, now I've seen everything.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
I don't think I watched the Hell. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
I've never seen it.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
I can tell you now I did not watch The Help.
Yeah did? Did Emma put out a statement sing she
saw No.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
Emma doesn't have social media famously, and honestly you should
know that.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
Oh, honestly good for her. Good, honestly good for her.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
She loves giving interviews where she's like, you know, I
just have the kind of kind of personality where it
would give me anxiety and it's like, girl, we all do,
but you have to put your hours in.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
I feel like that also just means she runs multiple
spam accounts, Like that's what that means, because at this point,
I I truly do not believe anybody like, oh, I'm
not on social media. I don't have social media. Yes
you are. You're the freaks on the anonymous accounts like that.
I know.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
I actually had a sip. I had an interaction with
someone we know and I won't dos her, but her
name is Joe Firestone, and it was we were like
fundament We were like, oh my god, it's so impressive
that you are not on Instagram anymore and you must
have such a calm life. And then she was like, well,
I do have an alt account where I see everything.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
I was like, oh, so, okay, so you are on it.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah, yeah, I don't even fantasize. I think I used
to fantasize about, you know, throwing my phone into the ocean,
but I'm kind of like whatever. Like Instagram, I'm like,
I'm at peace with it. If anything, it's also getting
so flop that I'm like, it's almost like watching like
a former bully, like like start to fail in life,

(12:21):
where it's like you maybe used to control my life,
but now all I get are like the most insane
AI videos or like podcast cups that make no sense,
or like like did you know that the earthworm actually
lives to be two thousand years old? And I'm like,
this isn't literally it's not engaging me in any way,
shape or form. Instagram was built to make me feel bad,
and it's not working anymore.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
Yeah, and I kind of I really try to, Like
every time I hear it, like, oh, I don't want
to I want to be alt, I want to have
a flip p one, like why are we posting on
social media? I still remember, I still think about it sometimes.
I saw this girl on my for you page Chop
little Bob, tiny, fierce little Bob okaybet, and she says,

(13:03):
you know, like I just could never be an influencer
because social media is so fake and da da da
da dada dad, and you guys have da da da
da da da. Girl. I go to her page and
that was four months ago, and now every single day
she's supposed to get ready with me. So I know
you're lying. I know you're all lying, and I think, honestly,
for me, it's become work. So I feel like opening Instagram,

(13:23):
I'm like, this is my job. I don't want to
be here. So I don't know. Every time I hear
that to me, it says I am actively addicted to
doom scrolling, and I wish I was. I don't know.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
I actually think seeing it as your job is the
most healthy relationship one can have with it because It's like, yes,
the job is meant to make you feel a little bad,
like the idea of like quote unquote to use the
term like soul sucking, Like, yes, an office job is
so sucking. So if Instagram is your job, yeah, it's
going to make you feel a little bad.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
What I don't get is being a casual used It's like, so, wait,
you are actually like a satisfied, financially secure accountant, you
have three beautiful children, and you still want to go
to Instagram so you can be exposed to AI disinformation.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Well, they have to volunteer at Instagram.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
Well, and so that this actually brings me to something.
I know that there is a lot of well, people
are insane now. I think relationships and dating have been forever,
like truly plagued and riddled and rotted by social media.
But I know there's a lot of opinions in the
ether about posting your significant other and being mutuls with

(14:34):
these significant other on social media. And I am not
going to lie. I feel like, particularly for men, particularly
for heterosexual men, seeing that they have an Instagram account
and knowing that they have a girlfriend or a wife,
I'm like, looky, why do you have that like that.
The one time, I'm like, why do you even why
do you have this? Because you don't post that's your wife,

(14:57):
You're boring and this is not your job. You work
at finance whatever. So I don't know. I do think
about that sometimes I'm like, that's weird to me.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah, but they have to like watch clips of sports
betting podcasts and then occasionally like and then like occasionally
like a photo of like a nineteen year old girl.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
Yeah, like suspiciously nineteen years old. Yeah, it's evil if
you know. Actually met a guy at the club. He
found my did not ask me for my Instagram, found
my Instagram. This is a golf club, so this makes
a little more sense. But he has a separate Instagram account,
the one that he'd get me on, where he only

(15:38):
wears clown makeup and uses a fake name and only
follows trans women. Started flirting with me and then went
through my Instagram and followed every girl tagged in my pictures,
And I was like, it is so funny. You're really
sexy and you almost would have gotten away with that.
But I am going to disemvalue. Next time I see

(16:00):
at the club, I am going to take your guts
out with this boon, but like, what do you mean?

Speaker 2 (16:05):
What do I know?

Speaker 1 (16:05):
That's that's one of the scariest things I've ever heard,
to be honest, Like the clown makeup is like, that's
like murderer by it.

Speaker 3 (16:13):
But well, and see it's a golf club, so like.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
So because you're like, okay, let's not be disrespectful about
the tun right and watch your mouth about my culture.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
But no, the issue and the thing that happens is,
for whatever reason, this specific golf club is like a
spawning point for sickeningly, disturbingly beautiful transgender women. And so
now the chasers are getting sophisticated, which this was not sophisticated.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
And here's a question for you. Are these beautiful trans
women goth or are they actually sorry infiltrating the goth
space and just being supermodels?

Speaker 3 (16:58):
Well so it's kind of that, to be honest, like,
I'm very much one of them. I could honestly give
a shit. Honestly, when they play classic golf music at
the golf club, I'm like, why does the music suck?
I'm like, oh, it's so funny. How this is not
an Alejandro remix?

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Baby, you're holding you're holding the phone, and it says
Edison Ray to the DJ.

Speaker 3 (17:23):
Yeah, I'm like, actually, can you play? Can you fucking play?
Like I don't know, love game or some shit, but
it's I feel like rarely anyone is goth at the
golf club anymore. Like half of them are emo at best,
and most of it's from shean, So I'm like, what
are you really, bitch? At least my dress is vintage,

(17:46):
you know, no it's And I also feel like to me,
I'm like, I feel like we're kind of allowed to
go wherever we want, you know what I mean, Like
especially in Dallas, Like what are you gonna do, bitch,
I'll tase you?

Speaker 2 (17:57):
So okay, So goth club full of beautiful trans women
and then clown guy is like this is where I shine?

Speaker 3 (18:06):
Yeah, yes, well because then that's the hard thing is chasers,
I feel are starting to learn that they need to
be like at least hot and so like you can
do clown makeup and then be ripped and it's like, well.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
Oh, so that's what you're saying. So it's not that
he's hot that you saw him out of makeup and
you're like, wow, you're actually really hot underneath all that makeup.
It's that he's shirtless and he has a good body.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
Well he's a cute paste too, because he that's the
weird thing. He has the fake clown based account, but
immediately DM me like twenty pictures of his face about
clown makeup. So it's like, you know, you're still learning,
like you're getting your giraffe legs, you know whatever.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
I do think it's just distasteful to follow. Like mass
following at all is a huge red flag. It is,
and you have to like, like, sometimes I find myself,
you know, as someone that loves is obsessed with Bears,
always has been, you know, when the bears are all
on vacation together, You're like, Okay, obviously I can just

(19:05):
click on this picture see every single one of their
user names and I could just hit follow fallow fula
fall hollow. But you can't do that. You have to
people like one to two of them and then like
wait six months.

Speaker 3 (19:15):
Because they talk about it, they talk to we talk
about it well. And that's the thing too, I know,
for various communities, for various different communities, it's a harmful
stereotype that oh they all know each other, they all
know each other. Hot cool trans women actually do all
know each other and we'll tell each other about this stuff,

(19:38):
you know what I mean. And so it's like, girl,
I know half these bitches, and you're following with we're
gonna kill you where gonna rich will sacrifice you.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
It's gonna be like weapons.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
Yeah, oh my god, you guys should do weapons on him.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
You should do weapons?

Speaker 3 (19:50):
Do you guys want to know? Okay, I don't know
if either of you are familiar with this meme, but
there is this like meme audio that's been going around
for such a long time, and it's like these women
chanting in Spanish. They're like doing a dark magic spell.
Me and my friends. Whenever a guy pisses one of
us off, we will occasionally be like should we do
the circle? And then we'll share his number with each

(20:13):
other and all send him the like the copy paste
and text of that meme with that to his phone
and then my god, block him. But that's kind of
like a fun way we found to break up with men.
Sure that's actually really toxic and that like, no, it's good.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
No, I think it's good. I think it's all.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
It's good.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
The mass following is interesting because it's like it on
the one hand, yes, it is this guy's fault for
being creepy. On the other hand, he's using a platform
that is almost designed to encourage that kind of behavior,
like when you gamify human relationships to that extent. It's like, yes,
it's his fault because he should have more emotional intelligence.

(20:58):
But it's also you're putting the own is suddenly on
the user to like define normal behavior, and what if
he's you know, it doesn't come naturally to him well,
And I.

Speaker 3 (21:08):
Think the real issue comes in that the dmification of
like trying to hit a bitch up has really stripped.
I think like the allure of like anticipation, do you
know what I mean, Like you meet someone at the club,
Because here's what would have happened. Here's what would have happened.

(21:29):
If he had never said into my DMS. I would
have been like, oh, yeah, that like guy with the
clown makeup and a nice body, like we were kind
of talking. He was so cute. I wonder if he's
gonna be there next week. But instead what happened is
within twenty four hours, I now know all the other
girls at the club, he's talked to. I know he
has a foot fetish. I know he's using a fake account,
and I know that he's kind of like, you know,

(21:50):
like the mystery has gone and I already know that
he wants me. So now it's not fun anymore. You know,
we've like fast forwarded to the end because at least
I feel like with out the DMS, like anytime you
if you meet someone at the club, they're going to
be weird and the sex is probably going to be bad,
and like you're probably going to not think very fondly
of it later, but you can draw that out and

(22:12):
have some mystique. And you just can't do that anymore,
you know, and.

Speaker 2 (22:16):
Have some longing so storytelling you're missing as a narrative, yes,
and also frankly use your imagination. Yeah, Like what technology
does is just like cut you cut to the chase.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
Yeah, and that's kind of boring. You know.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
Wait, I want this is like so perfectly leads into
our topic, but we first have to do our first segment. Sam, oh,
shall we do that?

Speaker 1 (22:39):
Let's do our first segment. So our first segment is
called straight Shooters, And in this segment, going to ask
you a series of rapid fire questions basically this thing
or this other thing, and the only rule is you
can't ask any followup questions. You have to pick one
of those things and you can't ask any follow questions
or we will scream at you.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
Okay, Upset, I see, and I'm already I'm sensing you're
gonna ask a question, and I'm just telling you right
now you're gonna not want to do that. Okay. Okay.
Gucci Mane or ethel Caine Ale Caine, Okay.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
Oppressient thought about gaze or a present bought from Cage Jewelers.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
Could you say it again?

Speaker 1 (23:30):
Oppression thought about gaze or a present bought from.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
Cage Chris, I thought you were saying oppressed.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
Oh no, I was oppression for the gaze. Or oppression
thought about the gaze?

Speaker 2 (23:44):
Okay, Shine bright like a diamond, or sit tight and
eat an almond.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
Sits I mean almond?

Speaker 1 (23:54):
Okay, live, laugh, love or move that bus, move that bus.

Speaker 2 (24:01):
Okay. Shoplifting from Sephora or regifting.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
Okay. This one's a tough one in the sense that
it barely works. Being a kink positive or peeing in
sync on a whim.

Speaker 3 (24:23):
You know what that's a toss up. I'm gonna say
kink positive.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
Okay, all right, Midnight cowboy, big white sex toy or
shine bright queer joy?

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (24:35):
What was the first one, midnight cowboy?

Speaker 3 (24:39):
And what was the second one?

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Big white sex toy?

Speaker 3 (24:43):
That one?

Speaker 1 (24:46):
Okay? Calling a therapist a shrink or calling yourself a dink?

Speaker 3 (24:52):
Oh, calling a therapist a shrink?

Speaker 2 (24:55):
Wowow Sokay. We rank all our guests performances on a
scale of zero to one thousand doves.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
Doves, doves from.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
The Lady Gaga song one thousand doves. You should know that.
From the golf club, damn it.

Speaker 3 (25:12):
Yeah? Okay, Well what am I getting? How many dogs?

Speaker 2 (25:14):
Let's see, let's see. I do want to address you
know you did multiple times ask a question in the
form of a of asking us to repeat things. Sam,
I don't know that.

Speaker 3 (25:25):
Now that was a follow up question.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
I guess. I guess you're right that. I I guess
I can't believe I'm letting you down me like this,
but I guess you are right that. It's not exactly
a follow up question. It is more of a sort
of clarification question. That's right, well, and to be and
I do like, I want to give you some extra
points for pushing back on on my criticism of your

(25:50):
question asking. So we're looking certainly, we're looking certainly above
an eight hundred.

Speaker 3 (25:55):
Yeah, Okay, what am I getting docked for?

Speaker 2 (25:58):
Sam? Okay, calm down, Sam, What are you thinking.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
I'm going to go with eight hundred and fifty six doves?

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah? I think that's correct.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
I really I actually would just love to know what
are the four doves you're taking that's keeping me from
eight sixty. That's really what I would like to know,
those specific four Sam.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
So you know, I just think you were rushing a bit.
You know, there there wasn't much luxuriating okay, and you
know this isn't work, This is play, and I think
it's really important to to, you know, just find a
really tasteful way to lounge in the game.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
And I just want to say, hey, like you, I
would say your best moment by far, of course, was
interrupting me and saying shoplifting from sofor I mean, that's
classic sitcom acting. You were honestly being like Lisa Kudro
in that moment, in kind of like a clip from
Friends that would go viral, you know, and I really
loved that. And then when where you lost me was

(26:57):
I you know, I had that one that had three options,
and you as me to repeat two of them. Now
each time you ask me to repeat, I'm like, Okay,
a punchline is coming, A punchline is coming up, punchline
is coming. The then you just chose one.

Speaker 3 (27:07):
Well, you know, so that and see that's where I'm
going to come back to you, Samantha. That was actually
where I was lingering on the question and considering my.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Oh think about interesting.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
Very active imagination.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
Don't even get me started.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
Well, in conclusion, you know you this is a very
good score, and I think you should be very proud
of yourself.

Speaker 3 (27:32):
Yeah I'm proud. I'm proud. But next time I'll be
coming for blood. And just know.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
That we brought we brought some people down a peg before.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, we're people.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
We're not afraid of being people down a peg.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
We're not, actually, and we need to do more the
world two of that.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
Actually, the world needs a lot more of that, too many.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
I agree. You know, people, young people these days are
such are so are so weak, and yeah, they care
so much about what language you used to.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
It's actually kind of crazy. That's it's actually flipping now
like millennials are the ones that care too much about language,
and now it's going to be like gen Z's like,
why do old care so much about language?

Speaker 3 (28:10):
We've become I in like the blink of an eye,
I have watched gen Z be like, actually we are
fucking evil again.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
I know it has been.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
Super weird, super weird.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
It's been confusing.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
It's confusing, but I'm also like, I'm like I might
not understand it, but I'm sort of like let them cook,
like it's not I think they they need to go through.
Nothing good will come out of me scolding a nineteen
year old, Like I actually do need them to make
their own decisions. And I know that the arc of
you know, whatever Martin Luther King.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
Said, yeah, you ever leave it there, whatever he said,
I'm in.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
I'm into it.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
The arc of history bends toward justice.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
Yeah, yeah, you know. And in eighteen eighteen, I mean
I remember myself at that time and now seeing them
run around in the while, it's like, you actually can't.
I don't think that. I think there's like a three
year gap where the brain stops taking an information. Yeah,
and it's just kind of like your job is to
drink prematurely.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
And you have to do whippets.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Do you know?

Speaker 3 (29:15):
I was pressured into taking a whip at one time,
but the canister was empty and I just lied and
I was like, that was awesome. I put it back
on the table and walked away because I was truly
I was horrified. This was also, by the way, at
a goth club after party. Well, of course, yeah, don't
ever go to one of those genuinely ever.

Speaker 1 (29:37):
I'm sorry, but the idea of a goth club after
party in Dallas, Texas sounds like one of the most
interesting places to be.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
All turn into orgies, and not an orgy that is
well organized, of course, which is really kind of where
my grithe is, you know what I mean. It's not
the orgy, it's where's the schedule?

Speaker 2 (29:58):
Yeah, you want to bring a sort of militarist Jessica
chest stained vibe to the goth orgy. You want to say,
let's actually kind of sit down and figure out who's
going to be in that corner, who in that corner,
and how we're gonna and.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
Where's there where's the drink station, like where canning Refreshman's?

Speaker 2 (30:12):
Yeah, yeah, who are the liquor sponsors? Because it looks
like there's just a bunch of empty bottles here.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
Right and I'm not drinking. Yeah, I'm not doing that.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
Are not even working. We're giving each other literally just
whippets that are empty.

Speaker 1 (30:26):
Yeah, and seriously, you guys, when are we all going
to come? Like, like, would you have to tell me
when we're all gonna come? Because if I come to earlier,
mine what's going on, because I'll do whatever. Just tell
just we need to organize, because I refuse to be
left out.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
I know, God, you know, maybe that's the the dom
and me. I want to be the one running everything
and I don't like showing up and it's it's already
halfway and it's it's not good. It's like, well, there's
no fucking reason for me to be here.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
The the only time I've done whippets was with a
group of gay guys and one straight guy, and he
I was like, so interesting, you're the one straight guy.
And he was obviously so hot to me, and not
because he was one straight guy, because he was hot
to me, and I kept being like, damn so hot.
I wish he wasn't straight. And then I kept telling

(31:14):
people that and like like within earshot of him, and
then he kept being like, I'm straight, I'm engaged to
a woman. And I was like, okay, and why are
you hanging out with a bunch of literally why are
you hanging out with the gig guys at like three am?
Also get this? But five years later bye.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Well yeah, and what is he currently? Is he still
with a woman?

Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, but but but open him by he's back open?

Speaker 3 (31:41):
Okay. See, I don't feel like that works for straight
I not to be hateful. I the only people that
I have actually known make open and open relationship work,
specifically an open relationship are old gay men that I
haven do that.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
No, you're right, You're absolutely right. Okay, you have to
have lived through, sorry, the age crisis.

Speaker 3 (32:06):
No, literally, though it's literally a different thing, Like we
are not the generation that could actually handle the type
of like who and n anny bullshit that people are
talking about doing with their fucking throubles nowadays. You had
to live through the AIDS crisis at the antique store
that I worked at, and I still cover shits for

(32:26):
him sometimes. My boss and his husband are the nastiest
old queens, Like I mean, evil, evil bitches, liver spots.
He's constantly getting shit removed at the dermatologists. I went
in there to cover a ship for remember, the first
time in like four months. The other day he's missing
a tooth. Now I think he's just going out back

(32:47):
and fighting people. They are never nice to each other,
and they're my favorite people on earth. Anytime, I'll show
him like a picture from an event and he'll be like,
I was doing Dragon this seventies and back then. You
are either a break fish and I'll just go back
to work, or no. What does he say? He says,
Oh god, I don't know what it is. But I

(33:08):
remember one time he literally looked me up and down.
He goes back in my day, you had to be fish,
and then goes to his office and I was like,
and you know what it Let me go bleed mite,
let me go blend my face, excuse me.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Excuse me. And then you came back and you made
your entrance.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
I did, and I got more beautiful because he put
that heat on me every single day.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
That's great, you know, pressure making diamonds, and that's why
what he did was good, right. I Actually I think
that's how if anyone's listening. If any HR departments like
that's how you should speak to your employees in an
inclusive way.

Speaker 1 (33:39):
Critique women's faces.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
Yeah, I'm sorry. If you are a sixty year old
gay man, I will take that from you. If you're
fifty or under, though, I will stab you. That's you
know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
Yeah, that's actually true. That's true.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
That's complex.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
I do. I think if you were a drag queen
in the seventies in Texas, you can honestly hit me.
I don't. You can do whatever you want. It's completely fine, girl.
You earned your stripes, you know.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
Damn I love that.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
Have you considered pitching a reality show about you working
at an antique store run by two old queens who
were drag queens in the seventies in Texas?

Speaker 3 (34:18):
You know? I feel like that would hit a little
close to home for me, so I haven't. But something
similar to that is actually actively being pitched right now,
not a reality show, but hopefully maybe sometime next year
you'll see that and say, oh, that bitch stole the

(34:40):
idea that I gave her on podcast and say something
horrible about you, and we can have Yeah. No, I'm
excited to have a big fight, like a nasty public
bee for attention for I'm coming for blood.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
It's really going to be below the belt stuff. I'm
going to comment. I'm going to say, look at what
hipster Ario is saying now.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
This knockoff mermaid, hookoff mermaid ass utterly perfect.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Okay, okay, Yeah, As you know, this podcast is about
straight culture, and everyone brings a straight topic and then
we discuss what's straight about it. So we would like
to extend the question to you, what is your straight
topic and what is straight about it?

Speaker 3 (35:20):
I decided to be controversial today and I am going
to say that I think hookup culture is slowly being
sucked into the vacuum of straightness. I think that's where
the appropriation is happening now, I do, And.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
I think this is really interesting because obviously the stereotype
would be like, you know, gay guys especially, it's like hookup, hookup, hookup,
hook U left and right left, right, left right. And
now you're saying that that straight people are taking our
techniques and utilizing them for their own sick and twisted.

Speaker 3 (35:54):
Games very poorly.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
So tell me, you know you're out there, you're dating,
you're on apps. What are you seeing?

Speaker 3 (36:03):
Well, So I do have serious thoughts about this, but
it's kind of shocking because here's the thing. There was
there was a time. There was a time where if
you were a man, this is how your life would work.
You would meet a woman in your early twenties. She'd
be a SIS woman, and you would like lie to
her and be like, you're my princess, I'm going to

(36:25):
give you the world. We're gonna die together, and then
you would marry her, and then you would go pay
a trans woman to fuck you. And now it's like
men just go on Tinder and they kind of just
message all the women, regardless of genitals, something very like
strangely sexual, you know what I mean. It's like a

(36:45):
pickup line, like sometimes like a nasty pickup line is
like hot, but the way they do it, it does
feel like like they're trying to lure you into like
a saw trap and there's no offer of like I
don't know, like I almost often feel like CIS women
and trans women now in the dating game are kind
of getting dogged out in the same ways, and no

(37:07):
one's getting paid, and they're expecting a lot of things
for free and I think gay men have built a
beautiful hookup culture, and I'm so glad that like Sniffy's
is here, because Grinder is becoming weirdly romantic now and
so somewhere needs to be dirty, you know what I mean.
But sorry, this is kind of like a huge tangent.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
No.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
I think part of what you're saying is like hookup
culture with gay guys, there's a jois de vive in it,
or at its best. I mean, I do think now
with everyone like being on g and needing like fifteen
loads at all times, it is getting a little more
sort of optimized. But in the heyday, it was just like, okay,
everyone's talking. It's so fun. At any point you could
hook up with your friend, like at any point you

(37:48):
could look at a map and see who's around. But
no one is like copying and pasting the same thing
to fifteen.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
People right well, And I think the issue too is
that there was a time where casual sex and now
I'm gonna put my serious hat on, there was a
time I think, like you know, I think pre twenty
tens in particular, like very early two thousands, and you
would see it a lot in like those like kind
of college comedy movies like really nasty, like drunk hookup

(38:18):
sex was really normal for straight people culturally, but that
was very much like from a man's perspective. And then
I think we kind of started, you know, like you know,
like leading up to like the me Too era. I
think kind of really hearing women say like, oh, this
isn't like good, this is like only good for the guys.
And then now I feel like we're kind of coming

(38:39):
full circle and people are being like, why aren't you
guys fucking anymore? And it's like, well, because do you
remember what happened the last time straight people tried to
regularly have casual sex. It doesn't work this there's no
history and it always ends up being weird, you know.
And now I feel like it's become easier than ever.
And they treat Tender like its grinder, like you you

(39:00):
don't get dates on Tinder? Do you guys know that?

Speaker 2 (39:02):
No, So tell us more about that, because we've been
certainly out of the loop straight dating wise for a while,
and Tinder especially, I'm like I think of it as
like as like always fossilized in like twenty fifteen.

Speaker 3 (39:17):
Yeah, Well that's so it kind of should be.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
But now you're saying it's changed. Now it's like the
men and is that why then people go to bumble,
which is like women message.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
Yes, and it changed nothing. It changed absolutely nothing. So
how it works hinge Hinge is going to be men
who are slightly less attractive than you would like, Yeah,
but they are really sweet and they're kind of at
that perfect point of like, I still want to try,

(39:51):
but I am getting desperate, and so I am actually
going to treat you pretty well, at least for the
first couple of months.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
So that's fun. Hinge is really cool to be do
me Tinder, Do you guys remember how there's a tab
on there that you could put what your relationship goals
are and one of those options is still figuring it out?
You remember that? So that is basically the Tinder straight

(40:18):
guy equivalent of the tab on Grinder that says yes
in all caps send NSFW picks.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
That's what that got got it?

Speaker 3 (40:27):
Yeah, And it's pretty much like you match with a
bunch of guys during the day and then your phone
literally shuts down at three am because they're all texting
me to come over, and it like you know, it's
fasoms out the the wires or whatever. It's evil. It's
really really strange to me.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
I don't know, does it Does it work? Like, are
these guys getting to hook up? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (40:52):
I have to imagine they're not, because at this point
it's just cat calling. But on my phone, Oh do
you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (40:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (40:57):
Which, and I'm not like I'm not woke scolding them
like I'm not with them, and I because I I
like the attention. I'm trying to say that, you know,
but no, I haven't. I'm not going to your home
at three am? Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (41:14):
And are women doing that as well? Like are women
being like, come over, I'm it's two am.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
No. Every time I matched with a woman, she we
never speak.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
I speak, well, of course, that's sort of a class. Well,
I mean, are women like are you doing that to men?
Like our straight women or like male attracted women doing
that to men?

Speaker 3 (41:35):
No, to be honest, I've been completely like I'm completely
pilled on the whole, like I'm not talking to you first,
I'm not making any plans. And it's crazy because I
used to be very like actually like even if I
was with a man like it would be a queer relationship.
It's not like you make the plans, you tell me
where you're taking me, you text me that you miss me.

(41:58):
I'm not doing that well. Also, well, straightman actually like
when you're mean to them, which is also kind of
the really unfortunate thing, you know, because I'm not I
mean girl, I think I've been very nice to both
of you this whole time.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
You've been super nice, ye can say again, and then yeah,
the wanting. I see that dynamic in straight relationships a lot,
where the straight man wants the woman to be mean
to him. It like, is this weird cycle where I'm like,

(42:30):
this is a bizarre form of foreplay where like the
man will like make mistakes and be like doofy, and
the woman will just fucking lose her shit at him,
and like that's just like that just means they're having
an amazing day and they're going to have sex later.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
So here's the thing with that. I actually think, you know,
every relationship needs a certain level of passion. It's almost
like the fuel that keeps it going. And I think
for many straight couples they don't have access to positive
like positive valence, passion so the only passion they do

(43:03):
have is like negative passion and like fight based passion.
So it's like they're bickering or they're like, you know,
you imagine like sort of like a middle aged stray
couple that's super into like real estate or something all
of that. That's like the way they can the way
they can access passion, whereas, like, you know, it's like

(43:24):
for a for a gay couple, it's let's say, bring
someone into having a threesome, or for a lesbian couple,
it's like investing in a really complicated sex toy that
they read about. And so I do think that there
is something kind of complex and kinky happening with a
woman yelling at a man.

Speaker 3 (43:44):
No, You're actually completely right, because what happens is that
all roads lead to makeup sex, which is objectively really good,
you know.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
And the idea of makeup sex, if I may, is
a very like straight rom Colm type thing. It's like,
makeup sex is something that like girls in Sex and
the City would talk about at brunch. Is like, and
then I thought to myself, are we making it up
when we have makeup sex? Like that is what makeup
sex is. It's it's like it's like one of those

(44:13):
It's honestly something that Dakota Johnson will talk about a materialists, So.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
We need a materialist sequel materialists too.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
When can I ask you something case because okay, I
feel like we you mentioned me to then post me to.
There was this like era of almost like semi ironic
missandry of like all men suck blah blah. I do
think as a culture we are past that, Yeah, but

(44:40):
it's almost like nothing has replaced it. And yeah, what
I'm seeing and this is anecdotal, and I'm seeing this
with like some of my single women friends. There's almost like,
in the same way that men are driven towards being
in cells, there's almost like an ironic celibus that I'm seeing.

(45:01):
It's almost like as a joke. Women are women I
know are saying they don't want to have sex.

Speaker 3 (45:08):
Yeah, you know, well, so I think there's a lot happening.
And I really, I really do think about this often.
I think I'm really fascinated by what is happening with
this line that I brought up earlier, the like young
people don't suck anymore. Yeah, I actually love that line,
and I think it's so funny because I think, like culturally,
like specifically, like a lot of the esthetics going on

(45:30):
right now and a lot of the music that's really
big in party scenes and kind of this whole. And
maybe I'm biased about this because I'm on substack, but
like the way that Substack princesses talk about the app
and writing and raining magna dum lam.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
You know.

Speaker 3 (45:45):
I think people my age, like like you know, like
early early to mid twenties, are kind of at this
point right now where they're realizing like our youth, Like
when I was like ten, eleven, twelve and internet calllture
was kind of really taking over the world, we all
had this conception that that was millennial culture, and it

(46:06):
really wasn't actually millennial culture at all. That was a
very specific subset of millennials online making content that mostly
children were consuming that ended up paving the way for
the mainstream And so we actually kind of really missed
a lot of real cool millennial cultural output. And now
they're like we're doing indie sleeves dance parties and at

(46:29):
the fucking like shitty club down the road totally, and
what is what does indie slees mean? Like, what are
you talking about when you say that, but that so
much of that stuff at the time, you know, it
was very like I feel like a lot of it,
Like musically in particular, it was very nihilistic. And that's why,
like the party culture was really cool, and especially when
we look back at like the hipsters taking cool pictures

(46:51):
on their iPhones with the CPIA filter, like, yeah, it's
cool because everybody was really fucked up and having crazy
sex and like nobody give a shit at anything at
those parties, and so I think they're kind of trying
to go back there. And I think Brat Summer was
like the really sexy, nasty brick on that road. That
confirmed it for me that people are kind of caught
right now between wanting like young people are very caught

(47:15):
between wanting to justify all of their stupid opinions politically somehow,
like every like you can't just hate anything or dislike
something or like something. You have to have like a
weirdly thought out, like political moral reason that you like
or don't like that thing. But then they also want
to like do cocaine and pass out in an alleyway
in like a ripped tank top with a union jack

(47:36):
on it, you know what I mean totally. I don't
know if that answers your question.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
First of all, I'm fascinating. Sorry, go ahead, Sam, Well
I doesn't.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
I felt like it was a very interesting journey because
I I see what you mean, Like, I think the
understanding millennial culture later is like a very real thing.
And I think like we, like millennials, we didn't do
like we didn't have like political reasons why we were
disliking things like or liking things. It was very like

(48:07):
surface level, like this is cool, this isn't cool. Yeah,
And I feel like like because we weren't having like
so much online discussion, we didn't we weren't all like
a little bit scholars about things that we shouldn't have been.

Speaker 3 (48:19):
Well, no one is now either, but it's like you're
expected to do this language thing, you know what I mean,
even for people who have no real politics at all.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
I'm trying to think if I because on the one hand, yes, Sam,
like when we were in our Indie Slei's era, God,
when we were doing all that, yes, it was sort
of in a sense a political but also we did
invent being like friends is problematic.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
Yeah, that's true, you know, what I mean.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
Like, we did pave the way for then, but.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
I think that was I do think that was two
separate things, yes, And now I think the issue is
that people my age are like, I can do both,
and it's like, actually, you really are going to have
a hard time being the nihilistic party girl and the
bitch in a comment section like literally using buzzwords like
your therapist told you last week to score total another

(49:16):
bitch in another comment like, it's actually kind of difficult
to do both, you know what I mean. And so
I think that's why we get the weird like ironic
cell because you do want to fuck like you do.
I know, you want to fuck like crazy, but you
also want to be like celibate and you want to
like watch men die, and it's very confusing. I think
there's just.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
A lot of okay, yes, and now you're bringing it
back to like the celibacy thing. I do think and
maybe what we're what all this is leading to is
like this idea that young people aren't having sex. It's
not quite that they're not having sex, it's that they
are pulled in these two very different opposite directions and
like haven't decided yet, So there are they have. Part
of them is pulled to like just extreme promiscuity in

(49:56):
a nihilistic way, and then the other part is pulled
towards like trad celibacy.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
Oh yeah, but I have something. I'm like, okay in
the same way that you're the claim right now is
that like straight people are claiming sort of gay hookup
culture or trying to there's something about it, because like
when we were gay in like twenty ten or whatever,
it was like, okay, well, that's one of the worst
things you can be. So I'm like, I'm like, either
not gonna do that or I'm gonna like be anonymous

(50:25):
and insane. And so there was like this like push
and pull of like, well, am I like cool indie,
straight seeming guy, or am I like sucking like a
theater guy's dick? Like which is it? And I feel
like that's where like straight people are currently, like they're like,
am I like scholar who hates men? Or am I
like like indiesly slut?

Speaker 3 (50:43):
So really, no, you're absolutely right. Well, and I think
that the big problem too is that once straight women,
I think culturally kind of all were like we all
publicly now know and accept and agree that drunk sets
with a man like messy one off drunk sex with

(51:06):
a man is not fun or good. You can't put
that back in the box. And I think the fantasy
of like, why isn't everyone at this party fucking right now?
Like involves that creature not being released from the box. Yeah,
when you're a straight person, do you know what I mean?
And you can't really go back. But I think like

(51:28):
everything is about nostalgia now in a really boring, like
really fucking exhausting way. Everything is some kind of a
nostalgia piece, and so it's hard to I think it's
just hard for people to separate those ideas out. And
I think that also kind of comes from like the
way Internet language has evolved to just take like very

(51:50):
strong words with very specific meanings to just be like
argument fodder now, you know, like nothing really means anything,
so they don't know what they're talking about.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
Yep. And every is a prompt. Every like everything you
see is, whether it's a little clip of a talk
show or a new song whatever, it is a prompt
for an argument to happen, and no one actually cares
about the specifics.

Speaker 3 (52:13):
Right, No, we're all arguing about Sabrina Carpenter.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
I didn't.

Speaker 3 (52:16):
I don't even know what the album sounds like.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
I haven't heard it. I haven't heard it.

Speaker 3 (52:19):
No one has, I believe, I don't think anyone has.
She could be doing it, she could be rapping that
whole track list, and I would not mow. No one will, Yeah,
no one will know, no one will.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
This is interesting. It's it's always I feel both. It
always feels so cathartic to sort of talk in such
grand ways about like the culture now, and then I
also feel like I zoom out and I'm like, damn,
I bet I sound stupid.

Speaker 2 (52:44):
As fuck, but he's so really intelligent.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
But I love it. The nostalgia thing. I this is
like not groundbreaking. But I was even watching like some
of the VMA's clips this morning, and like the Dojakat performance,
I was like, damn, she is such a performer. Why
is this eighties themed? Like, I'm like, I don't need
you to be eighties.

Speaker 3 (53:05):
Can be mean? Am I allowed to be mean on you?
Because I are so sweet?

Speaker 1 (53:09):
You've been really sweet, even an angel.

Speaker 3 (53:11):
I genuinely I saw her sit down for one interview
for this album. I was like, bitch, I am turning off.
I'm not doing it with this fucking like Malibu realtor
look she has going on. I cannot stand it. And
I literally, I swear to God, if I see one
more outfit on a red carpet that's like a reference

(53:33):
to some look that Madonna passed out in in ninety four,
I'm gonna shoot myself. I'm so tired. I don't Why
does I don't like that everything is a reference. I
hate it.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
It's I literally do feel like I create. I'm hungry.
I'm hungry for something exciting.

Speaker 3 (53:51):
It doesn't even need to be like good, just no,
something new, you know. I'm sorry. I know as she's
very people are very back and forth about how they
feel about her. I actually really love Meg and Stalter,
like everything.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
She's kind of doing right now in all.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
Her little fashion moments and her very strange presence in
her interviews, Like I kind of like when she makes
jokes and they flatline really bad. Like I don't know,
I like what she is doing, you know, just dressing
up as different beverages. I think it's funny, you.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
Know, I think you're right, Like, I actually it's funny.
I hadn't considered that Meg is actually a unique figure
right now. Yeah, and as she's really on the up
and up, she's she's such an it girl, she's and
then newly Lena Dunham show, it would be a great
time for her to just behave and show up wearing
like the dress that the brand sent her. And I

(54:48):
actually do respect, I like I hadn't fully thought about this,
Like I do actually respect that she's insisting on being
literally more psychotic than ever.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
Yeah, it's really amazing, it's like genuinely brave.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
No, And it's like it to the point like it's
actually like because her whole character, like I remember seeing
her videos and a lot of her delivery is about
it seeming like halted and stuttery, and so I can't
almost help but feel like, particularly that one moment, I
don't even know what talk show she was on, but
she's screaming like get me out of here, talking about London.

(55:22):
It was kind of like awkward, like it was yeah,
and it was like actually kind of uncomfortable. But it's
like I feel like you wanted that, and I kind
of really respect that, Like it seems like she kind
of craves not even like oh, everyone's in on the
bit and so they're gonna laugh when I'm awkward, Like

(55:42):
she's actually trying to make people feel a little uncomfortable. Yeah,
and I really love that. I think it's really sucky.
Actually I agree.

Speaker 2 (55:50):
It also is literally sorry but literally necessary in the
talk show format because talk shows are so beyond stale.
And I'm not like the first person to say that,
but it's like, obviously, I you know, I think it's
sad when one of them is canceled. I think it's
sad when one of when, like you know, you notice

(56:10):
people sort of like moving on from the format. I
grew up on talk shows. I grew up loving like
Conan and whoever else. But like, yeah, the reason people
thought it was exciting to watch Letterman is because sometimes
interesting things would happen. Yeah, that does not happen anymore
every once in a while.

Speaker 3 (56:26):
No, after a lady got got showed up that lot
of paper, it was kind of all downhill from there.
I don't know why she's I sound like a huge
stand I have not listened to anything since what was
the country one? I'm not gonna.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
Lie, Joanne, you didn't listen to CHROMATICA.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
A girl? Do you think you go in.

Speaker 3 (56:47):
So I'm the opposite of a Stan honest to god.
The second that I don't like a single for an
upcoming album, yeah at the door.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
I kind of love that. It's nice to be honest
with people, like something about I feel that way a
lot with like big franchises of like say Star Wars
or something like. I'm like, if it is bad, I'm out,
Like I can't make no loyalty.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
I might have no loyalty. No, it's and that's actually
that's called respect.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
It's called rect artist.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
And if they produce something bad, then I'm not gonna
listen to or watch that.

Speaker 3 (57:19):
As far as I'm concerned. You are the girl at
the water Burger, and if my order is incorrect, I
will come back and order it again. So you know,
like it's very simple. I'm not gonna say, well, I
loved her work last week, so I can let it go.
I don't give a shit about the sandwich.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
I will say when it's when it's Lady Gaga, I
will eat a rotten burger like anything she puts out.
If it's like I just like have to consume it.
It's I I don't know why, but.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
You do get hypnotized in this way.

Speaker 1 (57:46):
Well, I have this sick and twisted game of like
like basically coping, where if it's bad, I'm like, no, no, no,
you don't get it. The bad is a commentary on
good like bad, like I twist and turn and it's
like for her, literally I do well.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
That is how I am with t a extent with Madonna.
But oh you know, not anymore.

Speaker 3 (58:09):
When they pissed me off, I will literally at them
on Twitter like I did not like this. I made
one of that k Twigs for putting Northwest on her album.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
I said that was crazy.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
You're like, be better.

Speaker 3 (58:22):
I was, oh h that one girl that's been beefing
with ARCA for years. I have added her multiple times.
The other oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I've added her.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
Everyone is always beefing with ARCA. I'm also like, okay,
I obviously like from the beginning, you know, we were
there in the trenches when ARCA first came out, like
we were, you know, reading Pitchfork. You know you were,
you were getting ready for pre K with your little
with your little Mermaid backpack.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
So I you know, yeah, but now in the garden.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
But I have to say, now, I'm like I'm like,
I'm great, you know, she's grandfathered in. Like I will
always say, if I have to, I'm at the polls
and she's an option. I'm going to vote for Arca.
But could I tell you anything she has released in
the last fifteen years. No, she's sort of to me,
Arca is just that one photo of her that's sort

(59:19):
of bionic totally.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
That's it.

Speaker 3 (59:21):
Yeah, some people are just a photo. Yeah, well, and
that's yeah. No, I here's my thing, here's my thing.
If the Nexus swirls around Arca's head, I think it's
fair to say that at the center of all that drama,
it's probably Arca. But that's a doll, So I'm always
going to back her up and well, and for me,

(59:42):
it was like they've had this whole kitty kakat cat
back and forth. But then she seb Deliza. She like
got on TikTok with one of those like evil robot
dogs as like a prop, and I was like, you're
a corny ass bitch and you were making like really
cool music in twenty fourteen, and now you're trying to
bite the Regaton hand. It's not working for you, and

(01:00:05):
you've got this fucking war machine on a leash in bedsty.
You're a weird ass this and I commented that. I
was like, something is wrong with you and you're beating
with the doll. Who am I gonna side with the dolls?

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
So amazing? Do we want to say anything final about say,
hookup culture? I guess the one thing I want to
say not okay, it's we love to go off topic
and yeah, we celebrate it. I'm just wondering just to
wrap it up roughly, is like the thing with it
is like I do wish. I do wish straight people
could have tasteful hookup culture. Like I know, I agree

(01:00:41):
that there's like something about it that just like does
not work. But I feel I feel genuine empathy for
for all sides where I'm like, if if there could
be equality and then this would be so beautiful because
I do think it's it can be so fun and
such an easy way to have fun with people.

Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
I don't actually I love that. I don't think they
should have access to that. I truly I think you
have to figure out the sensuality first, do you know
what I mean? Yeah, I think even like I am
not going to sit here and say that before I transitioned,
all the hookup sex I was having with gay guys

(01:01:22):
was like beautiful and romantic and that we were talking
about like queer history. No, I like I was, Yeah,
it was like bros, you know what I mean. Like
it was a lot of bad sex and some occasional
really good sex.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
But much like the talk show format, Yeah, every once
in a while, something exciting would happen.

Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
Every once in a while, something would happen that I
wouldn't want to remember. Yeah, but with straight people like
kind of actually literally what you were saying, like, we
literally have to get into a cycle of like I'm
yelling at you because you've been throwing pebbles at my
head from across the couch for two hours and now
I'm pit and that's why we're about to go fuck

(01:02:02):
so hard, Like and then you do that for twenty
years and not to marriage, before you get a divorce,
when your kid goes to college, Like it doesn't really
make a lot of sense. And Yeah, so many straight men,
I think they feel like they aren't getting the sex
they deserve because oh women think I'm ugly and I'm

(01:02:22):
not six feet tall, and it's because you have no swag.
It's because the average man walking around at like prime
fucking age, like you're in literally the world's in front
of you. You have no real responsibilities, You have an
okay job, like this is your time to be fucking
and you're not because they like are so lame. I'm

(01:02:43):
gonna give you guys, like a super dose of estrogen
one day so we can all just hit the town
together and you can see how bad the game is.
It's crazy, like we love to do that, so you
to do that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
Yeah, de visiting the town is that You're gonna give
us one super dose and then we're.

Speaker 3 (01:03:01):
Well and it will be like yeah, probably like a
four hour like grisly painful trans sprow and all the HATI.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
Okay, it's sort of going to be like the substance.
But for positioning.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
Yes, yes, that sounds like an amazing night the goth club.
It's super dose and hit up the goth club.

Speaker 2 (01:03:19):
Yeah my god, I hope the clown guy doesn't follow you,
but also sort of want him to.

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
If you transition and look pretty, you probably.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
Will if challenge accepted.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
But yeah, I mean it's really it just comes down
to like you can't wait, Like I think you have
to figure out how to wait and to long and
to tease. Yeah, I will email it to you guys
at some point. There's this girl who does a lot
of like very kind of serious monology videos on TikTok
and she's been talking a lot about flirting lately and
about how like flirting is the kind of the same

(01:03:55):
muscle that you use to like play, pretend, and that's
what makes you good at doing it. Is like the
ability to play and not just with other people, but
like with yourself and to kind of interact with the
world from a playful standpoint. I don't know, like even
on a grinder, sometimes I feel like there's still, like
you know what I mean, there's like a even if
there's a system in place, like there's a playfulness to it.
And I think straight men they get it in their

(01:04:17):
mind and it's like it looks like they're watching porn.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Well, the playfulness is the playfulness is related to ego.
You have to put your ego aside to be playful,
because you have to risk being slightly humiliated or slightly
humbled or slightly misunderstood without it being a direct attack
on your entire being, like on your entire sense of

(01:04:40):
self worth. And I think I'm not saying, to be clear,
that all gay people are good at that, but I'm
saying that's like and I'm not gonna know, but that
is like an I think the people I know that
are at their happiest being sort of promiscuous do have that,
Like I think that's I think that is the secret basically.

Speaker 3 (01:05:01):
Yeah, No, I completely agree, and I kind of have
realized that. I think I just kind of flirt with
everyone all the time, mm hmm. And it is a
fun way of interacting with people, you know what I mean,
Like it's I agree to do it. You know how
It's like if you never see an ankle and then
someone shows you their ankle, you're gonna get really hard.

(01:05:24):
And so I think the same thing kind of happens
if you like take out all of the like the shame,
like the fear of being embarrassed, you know what I mean,
and just like start flirting with everyone, not even like
with any intention, Like you should just be flirtatious, you
know what I mean, Like the world just kind of
opens up, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
It's like fun energy to bring into the world.

Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
And I actually think what you're saying is like, to
be flirtatious without expectations is like goes against these sort
of like optimization ethos of the apps, because you're not
thinking in terms of cause and effect. You're not thinking, oh,
I'm investing in flirting with this person to get sex
in return. You're just actually having fun.

Speaker 3 (01:06:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:09):
Yeah, and if you actually just have faith in that,
it will lead to it's not that it will lead
to sex, but it will lead to just like having
a good time.

Speaker 3 (01:06:17):
Rights well yeah, and it's kind of guys, young guys
at the club have just gone back to being pick
up artists, and so now we're going to need pick
up artists instructional videos because they're not doing lines anymore.
They're just coming up And what most of them will
do is they will not look at anyone else you're
speaking to. They will interrupt you in the middle of

(01:06:39):
a conversation and they'll go, I just want you to
know I've been watching you from across the club for
two hours now, and you're so beautiful and I would
love if I could get all your import Like it's like,
why would that work? And so now we need like
more scammer guys to teach them how to do it right,
and then we have to go through how that's not
an ethical business practice and it's just like a whole
thing we've already done.

Speaker 2 (01:06:58):
Well, we need to put the art back and pick
up artist say that we do.

Speaker 3 (01:07:03):
Also, we do need to teach them what hung means
definitively totally.

Speaker 1 (01:07:11):
I mean the way that hung is just thrown around.
I'm like, you know, words have meaning, right, the way.

Speaker 3 (01:07:15):
The word hung is just thrown around, the abbreviations. I'll
see BWC and then I'll get the picture and I'm like,
where where is it? You know what I mean. And
that's also probably because there are now straight men on Grinder,
because there's so many trans women on there, and so
they don't really know what hung means. But hung means

(01:07:36):
like it's going to be a problem with the weight
women at the TSA. It does not mean slightly above average.
You know. Yeah, I want to throw that complain in
there too.

Speaker 1 (01:07:45):
That's a beautiful complaint.

Speaker 3 (01:07:46):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:47):
I am well. I think we have done an amazing job.
I might agree.

Speaker 3 (01:07:53):
I don't know if we answered any No, we answered
all of the questions.

Speaker 1 (01:07:56):
First of all, we asked. We asked amazing questions and
we answered them perfectly.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
This podcast is over or this is the season finale,
and thank you everyone.

Speaker 1 (01:08:02):
For listening pretty much pretty much.

Speaker 3 (01:08:05):
I Jessica Tastin was so happy to be here today.

Speaker 2 (01:08:08):
Oh my god. And you were amazing, you were.

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
Amazing, Rosa, thank you. We have our final final segment
and that is called shout Outs and and it we
pay homage to the grand straight tradition of the radio
shout out, and we shout out to anything that we
are enjoying. People, places, things, ideas, and we will think
of the moss spot and I honestly first and George,

(01:08:32):
I actually have one that I was talking.

Speaker 2 (01:08:33):
You have one, okay though, and I'll think of one
as you're speaking.

Speaker 1 (01:08:36):
Okay, what's up freaks, lousers and perverts around the globe.
I want to give a huge shout out to Parverty Shallow.
That's right, past guest of this podcast, Parverty Shallow. I
just watched Survivor Australia versus the World and Parvety was
so deeply good at this fucking game. I'm I'm I've
become a full on Survivor head as many know, and

(01:08:56):
she is so confident, powerful, playful fun. I'm in awe
of just how incredible one person can be at a
game that is supposed to be like relatively random. She
is a powerhouse. I want her to run the government.
I want her in charge of everything. I'm like starstruck

(01:09:19):
just from Afar. I'm just like, I can't believe someone
is this powerful and not to mention, how the hell
drop the workout. I'm trying to figure out how you
can hold these like sit up positions for hours on
end like you are like physically strong, emotionally strong. Gorgean
this nice as hell. I love you, Parverty whoo who God.

Speaker 2 (01:09:41):
Remember when she started a group chat with us and
then I was like, maybe this is gonna be like
a lasting thing, but then we never were in touch again.

Speaker 1 (01:09:48):
Yeah, well that's okay. I mean she was just like
the way that she plays. I knew. I was like,
you know, she needs us for the next vote, and
I'm in.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
No, But I think she likes us though, and I
actually like us. I'm gonna get back into.

Speaker 3 (01:10:01):
Group chats work too. Yeah for you to occasionally scroll
down and look at it and be.

Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
Like, yeah, okay, uh, what's up? Freaks and kinky perverts
and everyone else, even the in cells and even the
vole cells, You're all valid to me. I want to
give a shout out to ordering the ice cream as
dessert at the restaurant. So, when you're at a restaurant,

(01:10:27):
you're seeing a dessert man, you're seeing a Tira missoux,
you're seeing a chocolate moose, you're seeing a carrot cake,
you're seeing potentially even a kind of artisanal doughnut. You
want to order something that seems difficult to make, that's
something you can't get at home. But guess what, what
are you actually wanting. It's ice cream. You're wanting ice cream,
So just order ice cream. Life is too short to

(01:10:48):
try to be fancy with it. And guess what. Oftentimes
these places, if they're making a tear massoux, they're even
making like a better ice cream than you would get
at the local Hogandaws. So order that ice cream. It
might be a sort of like crazy as flavor, or
it might be a classic like chocolate hazel nut. It's
gonna be more creamy and more impactful than what you're
gonna get at the store, and that's what you want anyway,

(01:11:10):
So just go ahead and order by the way, not
for nothing. It's going to be cheaper than the tresuit.
So go ahead and order the ice cream, share it
with your lover, and yeah, get a shot of espresso,
and then go home and have anal sex.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
Right, yes, go whenever you are ready.

Speaker 3 (01:11:31):
Okay, Oh my gosh, what up? I'm gonna say, cooks
and comeslots, That's what I'll say. I want to give
a huge shout out to the BA restaurant that I'm
actually about to go to right now with one of
my favorite gay men on Earth. I have been taking
really creepy men on dates there for the past few

(01:11:51):
weeks as I've been experimenting with dating older and eyes
and and you know what, none of them have judged me.
None of you have looked at me weird. You guys
have pretended like it's completely normal for me to be
doing that. And I really appreciate you letting me do
that in the nice the corner booth that I like,

(01:12:13):
so that they know that I'm hiding them from the
rest of the public, but never from you guys. I
wish this was a joke. This is not a joke.
This is something I've done three times now and I'm
kind of waiting for you guys to ask if you
know you're concerned about me bringing all these old men
into the restaurant. But that's fine, thank you for not
judging me, and I'll see you in like twenty minutes

(01:12:36):
because I'm so.

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
Who wow, you're really going to throw them off by
bringing a presumably younger gig guy after they're used to
you bringing older guys.

Speaker 3 (01:12:45):
Well and see this one. So most of the gay
guys that I hang out with as friends are all
kind of toppy, so you always think they're my boyfriend,
which I love that too, you know, so just kind
of confuse the nasis. They never they just think I'm
a whore, you know, which is I love that you're.

Speaker 2 (01:13:03):
A kind of a fag hag with a type like
you're like only tops.

Speaker 3 (01:13:09):
Yeah, no fans, no bottoms. Just sorry, sorry, Well it's
not that it's that I twinks like little like the bottomy,
like the little I don't I get into trouble with them,
like those are the ones that I end up like,
I'm in a strange call. We're going seventy miles an hour.
I don't know what city I'm in. You know what

(01:13:29):
I mean like, yeah, I don't know, they're riskier.

Speaker 1 (01:13:33):
They're risks and you need some. You're looking for stability.

Speaker 3 (01:13:37):
Yeah, that's where all of like bad girl culture has
gone is too twink bottoms.

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
It's totally they're insane. Those guys there that I got.

Speaker 3 (01:13:45):
Me and my top got invited to a penthouse the
other day to watch twelve rich twinks fight each other.
It was crazy. It was really like, that's not what
they told us. But they were like, we're going to
bring you back and make you martinis. And they did,
and they just argued for three hours. Didn't offer me
any cocaine or anything, not that I was going to ask,
but I was like, I know, you have some. And
then we just left and they didn't care. It was

(01:14:07):
very weird.

Speaker 1 (01:14:08):
That sounds weird as hell. Well, I'm addicted to your life.
It sounds amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
Yeah, and we're going to book our flights soon and
then you're going to take us out and I can't
wait to go to the goth club.

Speaker 3 (01:14:17):
Oh, you'll be so disappointed by this city. You're gonna
love it.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
Beautiful. Well, kay, please tell everyone where they can find you.

Speaker 3 (01:14:26):
Oh, you can find me everywhere you can find me
on TikTok Instagram YouTube substack around the corner from your
house looking in your windows.

Speaker 2 (01:14:34):
Yeah, just look outside period.

Speaker 1 (01:14:37):
Well this is a delight. Thanks for doing it.

Speaker 3 (01:14:40):
It was really fun.

Speaker 2 (01:14:41):
Okay, bye, amazing bye podcast and now want more. Subscribe
to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month, discord
access and more by heading to patreon dot com. Slash
Stradio Lab.

Speaker 1 (01:14:55):
And for all our visual earners, free full length video
episodes are available on.

Speaker 2 (01:14:59):
Our YouTube now Get back to work.

Speaker 1 (01:15:01):
Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Speaker 2 (01:15:05):
Created and hosted by George Severies and Sam Taggart.

Speaker 1 (01:15:08):
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sony and Olivia Aguilar.

Speaker 2 (01:15:12):
Co produced by by Wang, edited.

Speaker 1 (01:15:14):
And engineered by Adam Avalos.

Speaker 2 (01:15:16):
Artwork by Michael Failes and Matt Grugg.

Speaker 1 (01:15:18):
Theme music by Ben Kling.

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