"Online" w/ Patti Harrison (GaytioLab)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Podcast starts now. Welcome all to what used to be
known as Stradia Lab. But for today, the one magical
day of the year, it's Katia Lab. Happy Pride, Happy Pride.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Happy pride to all, Happy pride to.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Everyone in America only.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
So let's start there.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Of course, happy pride.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
And when we say pride, we mean we're proud to
be American, and.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
On top of America only. I'd like to narrow it
even further to specifically the coasts. Yeah, the coasts.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
And when we say LGBTQ pride, we mean gay men.
Mm hmmm. So we so gay men, We're proud to
be gay men in the United States of America, specifically
the large cities, that's right, And of course not every
large city.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
And of course not every large city. I'm speaking specifically
about the pride of being in a creative city.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
Yeah, and what would qualify as a creative city.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Do you think I think it would count as either
New York or Los Angeles?

Speaker 3 (01:22):
Do you think is just those two?

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Oh? Actually, I'm getting word, it's just New York.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
That's what I thought. You hadn't gotten the memo.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yet, And in fact, I'm getting word it's only like
a few specific parts of Brooklyn.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
Well, but also downtown Manhattan. Well, you don't think it's
downtown Manhattan.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
I'm just not sure anymore.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
I have to tell you a lot of parts of
Brooklyn are even less creative than like the Upper east
Side at this point.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Well, I'm not including all of Brooklyn, George, I'm which part? Okay, Bushwick? Wrong?

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Okay, you've been gone too long. You've been gone too long, Sam,
Bushwick is now all families that live in two bedrooms
and they have five nannies, and all of them you
know they are on paper creatives. But what that means
that they work in advertising?

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Okay, Well, then I don't feel pride anymore. How about that? Wow,
it's official. If I can't feel pride in proud to
be an American, and by American, I mean a person
in a creative city, and by a creative city, I
mean New York, and by a part of New York,
I mean just one part and that means Bushwick, Brooklyn,

(02:35):
then I'm not proud anymore.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
I actually think we can make it even more specific
and say that pride is only for if you are
Sam Taggart or George saveres and it kind of excuse me,
we haven't brought you in yet. And I think that
it can be Like there's something beautiful in making Pride
more exclusionary rather than more inclusive. Don't you think? Wow?

Speaker 1 (02:59):
This is so we're taking the debate about like whether
by girls bringing their boyfriends to Pride is good or bad.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
It's not about that.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
It's not about that. It's are you me or are
you you?

Speaker 3 (03:08):
Yeah, Like, I'm sort of tired of trying to negotiate
who's included, who's excluded. I know one person who has
included me. I've always been there. I've always been there.
I've gone every year. I've gone to some event.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
You know.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
Some years I go to like a big parade. Some
years I go to maybe some counterprogramming, or maybe I'll
go to Reese Beach and just with my girls and
we'll be like, God, we're so glad we got out
of the city for the big parade because we don't
want to be around all the riff raff, you know,
some of whom are not even included in Pride, And
so I think it's nice to you know, if you
look at the data, I've always been included and if
you look at the data, you've always been included. So

(03:41):
how can we start there and then start building, rebuilding
the LGBTQ plus community around just the two of us.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
I think that's an amazing idea, what an awesome orbit
to be a part of.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
And you know what's interesting today, actually we have chosen
the third person that we are inviting into the new
and improved LGBTQ plus community.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
And it starts with one.

Speaker 3 (04:01):
It starts with one, and I was like, you know what,
let's like, start with someone we trust, someone we think
is definitely LGBTQ plus, Like I've seen her at Pride events.
I know that she associates with a certain kind of community,
and I think we can start with her and then
as we go we can just rebuild.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Okay, the rebuilding starts now. Please welcome to the podcast,
Patti Harrison.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
Thank you so much. I'm sorry I had an outburst.
I just didn't realize you were building up to including
me in that. So I'm really glad that it went there,
and it taught me a little lesson about being a
little more patient about you know, that maybe I could

(04:45):
be included at the end of something that it sounds
like at the start of the conversation about it, I'm
not included, and I think conclusion is more important now
than it was before, but not ever.

Speaker 3 (04:59):
Okay, that's a really good point, Patty. So when would
you say inclusion was most important and when would you
say it was least important?

Speaker 4 (05:06):
Yeah, I don't feel qualified to talk.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
On them, but you're one of the three, one of
the three only l G B, t Q plus people.

Speaker 4 (05:12):
Okay, So I have to say I what I am? Woman? Born,
woman I have. I was born with eggs, ovaries, vagina.
Really when I was born, it was really small. Breasts
grew as I grew older.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
Weren't you weren't you born with big double d's.

Speaker 4 (05:36):
Oh, I guess we're just gonna go there, Yes, just
gonna go there, go there.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
A D D.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Oh, it was single D.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
Yeah, and that's they thought my mom thought she was
having triplets in the ultrasound.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah, but it was just your huge breast.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
To yeah, each breast, but it was it still was
as much pain, I think as delivering triplets, because they
had to deliver me at first, then the left one
than the right one, and the ass was huge too.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Yeah, but there's no measuring system, so you can't say
how big exactly.

Speaker 4 (06:17):
Yeah, we're still so behind.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
Actually, why isn't there a system?

Speaker 3 (06:21):
That's a really good point that why it literally like
it's just as much of a big deal. And I
actually say this, as you know, I'll say it a
man with wider than average hips, you know, often I
will have to google white hips.

Speaker 4 (06:34):
Wait, is that true? I've never cloked to.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
That about you.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
I mean, listen, I'm not saying it's I'm not saying
I look like a like a like a monster from
a cartoon or something. But I'm saying, you know, there
are certain proportions that you that the default man has
and and my hips are slightly wider.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
And I would like to say that as someone since
moving to Los Angeles, my I've noticed my ass getting
smaller and smaller by the day, and I would like
to measure actually how much ass is being lost daily.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
I do want to just follow that up Sam by saying,
it's interesting you're saying it since you moved to Los Angeles,
when in fact, I believe it's because of an injury
you can't exercise. Is that correct?

Speaker 1 (07:14):
But because of this very injury, I'm doing way more
leg and glute work.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
Oh, so your ass should be getting bigger.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
It should be getting bigger, and yet and yet, and
yet the day to day life in Los Angeles just
doesn't work the ass in the same way.

Speaker 4 (07:27):
Can you can you tell me what the injury was?

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Or is that through my back out I have had
her needed disc Oh, I'm sorry. Doing physical therapy back.

Speaker 4 (07:38):
Pain is really tricky and complicated and hard.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
Oh it's the real deal.

Speaker 4 (07:43):
Well, I'm I'm sorry it's making your ass shrink.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
I sort of. I think I think all chronic pain
is fake. But back to Patty's Patty's various qualities.

Speaker 4 (07:58):
Earth, So I only date man and I've never been
sexually attracted to women.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
Okay, okay, so you but the men can be gay?
You think men can be gay? Do you think women
can be gay?

Speaker 4 (08:12):
Know the men that i'm can be gay?

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Right?

Speaker 4 (08:16):
And I think that makes I?

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Are they? By then?

Speaker 4 (08:19):
I don't that's for them. I can't speak for them.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Sure, do you think, Patty, the fact that you date
gay men makes you l G B T Q. Plus
I think.

Speaker 4 (08:29):
I should be in there. I'm going after him, I say,
I like. I like the way you Sashet. I can't.
I can't fan, I can't find it. A straight guy
at at, I don't. I don't know what a straight
place is in l A. In Chelsea Peers at the.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
Golf he brought up a gay location.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Chelsea Peers is gay.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Chelsea Peers is like where gay guys go to hook up.

Speaker 4 (08:55):
No, it's where straight guys go to play golf. They
go to hit, they go there to dry.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
I mean, yes, there is a driving range there, but
historically it's like sort of a shorthand for like fag
you know.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
It's like, really, I'm starting to think, like, should you
have been the first person we added to the career community.

Speaker 4 (09:13):
No, don't second guess this. I'm so excited to be
included in everything. And I'm sure someone in the other
room is screaming at me to get closer to the mic.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
Yeah, I can feel myself screaming at myself.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
So I do want to go back to Patty. When
you think inclusion was most important and when you think
it was least important.

Speaker 4 (09:29):
I think inclusion was probably most important. I think in
the period of when when sea life was starting to grow,
the fins were turning into limbs and they were starting
to crawl ashore because I think if you weren't included

(09:51):
in that, you were just staying in the water and
you weren't get getting to enjoy the many benefits of land.
The land, I.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Think it was more queer to grow limbs or to
keep fins.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
Such a good question, you know, as much as I
would like to say growing fins is or keeping your
fins as queer because of like The Little Mermaid, I
actually think The Little Mermaid is not a story about
like beautiful transformation. It's about the power of how you
need to change from the thing that you were that

(10:24):
was beautiful into the thing that everyone likes and accepts
in order to be in society. And I think that
is a straight, straight, straight story. So I think actually
growing legs to get away from mermaids like that and
become a straight person in society, I think that narrative
is also straight. And so I'm arguing with myself right

(10:46):
now out loud as I'm talking to you both.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
Maybe the first few people to grow legs were like
punk rock, you know, because that because they were in
the minority, they were doing something new. But then they
started growing a critical mass of people who had left eggs,
and at a certain point it actually became assimilation for
you to also grow legs and get on land, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
Yeah, I think that's an incredible hypothesis, George, I really
I can see that. I think it would probably be
really difficult for the ones not growing legs around them
to look at the ones growing legs and be like,
what what happened to my partner or what happened well,
and they weren't saying partner then, because that has been
like a thing that people are just now adjusting to

(11:28):
what happened to my boyfriend?

Speaker 3 (11:29):
Yeah, I think yeah, back in the times of early evolution,
everyone was saying only boyfriend and girlfriend and not partner.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Well, I think whales and dolphins are potentially sort of
the old queens of the world, you know, they're sort
of like, well back in my like in my day
that we didn't have all this bullshit. You were either
you were queer or you weren't, you know, it was
sort of that vibe. Oh.

Speaker 4 (11:52):
Well, what I will say is whales and dolphins are
actually like a more recent evolved species. Yes, actually sharks
have experienced less change.

Speaker 1 (12:04):
Oh my god, Like.

Speaker 4 (12:06):
The hundreds of millions of years. I guess they've experienced.
Dolphins and whales are relatively.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
And that's the sense they are. In that sense they are,
sharks are sort of similar to old you know, like
an old conservative, regressive, regressive person. You know, they have
they have the bite to them, and they're a little
bit like this is my turf, get off my grand
chorino Clint Eastwood code.

Speaker 4 (12:29):
Yeah, being like I hate what you are, but you're
lucky I'm here. That's right to save you from gangs.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
But then you know, of course, it also goes all
the way around where people become so afraid of sharks
and become so anti shark that then sharks are in
fact under attack in the way that you know, certain
boomers in America like don't have a pension.

Speaker 4 (12:54):
Yeah, sharks are under attack in the way that maybe
like transgender people are trying to use a bathroom. Wow,
like like they say that sharks they think sharks are dangerous.
They build up this like fake fear that sharks are
going to go into the bathroom and like, oh, in

(13:18):
hurt women when sharks can't literally can't go into the
bathroom because they are in the water.

Speaker 3 (13:25):
Oh my god. So this is I really like the idea.
I hadn't thought about it like this starting a metaphor
but then collapsing the divide between the reil and the metaphor.
So the metaphor is that sharks are like trans people,
but then the reasoning is that they couldn't go into
the bathroom because there's sharks they're in the water.

Speaker 4 (13:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
Yeah, I want to say that, you know, metaphors aside. Yeah,
there's this thing. I read an article that was about
how sharks are like, uh, being more protect did by
environmentalists and so like beaches actually are more dangerous, and
I'm like, wait.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
No, this is the give and take. The shark metaphors
cand of apply to every single thing in life, which
is they are deadly, but we have to protect them.
And our role in this world as people is to
figure out that paradox.

Speaker 4 (14:21):
Yeah. I do think that sharks are naturally in that
environment and they're a sign of a healthy ecosystem. And
I think if you're in any area where there's like
no fish at all, then that's a sign that the
ecosystem is in peril, or maybe you're swimming in like

(14:45):
dirty water where they're dumping chemicals. It's just an inherent
risk of going into the ocean if you like to
swim in the ocean. But a lot of sharks, if
you look at the statistics there are, it's kind of
astronomically low. It is so insanely, insanely unprobable that you
will ever get bittime.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
But like so many people like say, they're they're in
the beach. They're at the beach maybe once a summer.
You know, the way I'm hitting the beach, my odds
are going up astronomically.

Speaker 3 (15:16):
You think you're especially in danger, Sam, because you're going
to the beach a lot over.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
The South especially, I'm I'm victim number one. Plus they
you know, I know how sharks think. And they're gonna
see me frolic and they're gonna say, I'm gonna take
him down a peg. Yeah, you splash a splashing, I'm flipping.
I'm riding the waves.

Speaker 4 (15:38):
They say you don't trim your nails so that they're
like your tonails are scraping yourself and you're getting a
little cut through.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Yeah. Blood is always flying everywhere I go because I
live so freely that that blood flies out of my skin,
and and so I know that I'm a target. Uh.

Speaker 4 (15:55):
I think that's really scary. I think with like the
HIV bringing that up, and and I feel like connecting
in my brain right now, I feel like it's coming
basically like the AIDS crisis. It's like that even though
that like gay people aren't the only people get AIDS,
they became kind of like this target target demographic for

(16:16):
like the way the narrative publicly try to add that
as like another way, the gay community is like a
pariah in some way, or that they're unfit. They if
we allow them to grow, they won't be able to
take care of themselves because they don't have self control.
Beach life is not necessarily like intrinsically gay, though I

(16:38):
would say being gay is intrinsic to beach life. But
I think like straight because straight people love the beach
and they love to splash and swim. But I think
when the way gay people swim like you do, I
think it subjects them to a higher rate of a
higher risk of shark attacks.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
Shark attacks, of shark attacks, we have to be.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
Really careful not to correlate those things.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
You're absolutely right, Patty, and I think it's like in
the same way that during the AIDS crisis, organizations like
would sort of promote safe sex rather than promoting like,
I don't know, conversion therapy. We need we need a
like a harm reduction model for the epidemic of gay

(17:23):
guys being bitten by sharks because they like the beach
so much.

Speaker 4 (17:27):
Yeah. Well, it's like, don't go swimming right after you've
been like gaped. No, don't laugh. There are odds that
you have experienced more more substantial micro tears if your
anus has been kind of worked worked in in.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
Slop down, up and down.

Speaker 4 (17:50):
Of course, the seawater is just getting in there and
the so the tide comes in, goes into the anus,
collects some of that blood, washes back out. A shark
can smell that from over a mile away.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
Yeah, it's kind of like a cavernous cave and that
you know, you you like hear the sound of the
ocean go in and then go out. Yah, and the
sharks love that.

Speaker 4 (18:09):
Yeah, well they'll take anything. They don't want to eat people.
But a gay asshole like that that's so worn out
it's kind of prolapsing into the water probably looks to
them like some legal se ccumber.

Speaker 3 (18:22):
Well, that's the best part of the animal. Yeah. It's like,
if you know, even if I've been vegetarian for five years,
I see a delicious steak, you know, medium rare, in
a in a stunning French beastro We're talking a puav sauce. Yeah,
I'm gonna crave it, even if I'm trying not to
eat meat.

Speaker 4 (18:38):
I've been vegetarian for a real long time and I've
never craved meat.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
Oh okay, I'm trying to agree with you, Patty, I'm
trying to I'm trying to further your further your argument
by adding a metaphor. And suddenly you are icing me out.

Speaker 4 (18:53):
What is a puav sauce?

Speaker 1 (18:54):
Thank you, I wasn't gonna say it.

Speaker 3 (18:56):
What is a pap sauce?

Speaker 1 (18:58):
George? You bring me to.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Move out of Los Angeles and come back to New
York because you are losing cultural references left and right?

Speaker 1 (19:08):
Sauce?

Speaker 3 (19:08):
Have you never heard of steak au puav?

Speaker 1 (19:10):
No?

Speaker 4 (19:11):
That is George. This is not normal.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
I'm sorry, but I'm already hearing I'm hearing people clack
clack clacking on the comments, being like team.

Speaker 5 (19:18):
George, team go to lavad'or in New York. I love steak.
Steak up sauce is like a peppery sauce. It's one
of the French sauces that you can get with steak.

Speaker 4 (19:29):
Are you saying it's like gravy, it's like ketchup.

Speaker 3 (19:34):
It's not like ketchup.

Speaker 4 (19:36):
It call me when Ketchup joins the chat.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
No, that's true.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
I am calling a emergency helicopter to get both of
you from the streets of Los Angeles and to airlift
you into a gorgeous West Village French bistro.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
I'm watching in the city. I have not heard a
mentioned once.

Speaker 4 (19:59):
I don't like helicopters. These are really unsafe. But if
you've got like a plane, you are they really unsafeer?

Speaker 3 (20:06):
Are they like the shark situation?

Speaker 4 (20:08):
Helicopters are very are like a very unsafe way to travel.
I would implore anybody I know never to fly wait
really yeah, genuinely, the statistics for helicopter crashes are crazy.
Helicopter pilots will tell you this like it's it's a
really dangerous Uh. It's the way like flying in an

(20:28):
airplane is like a million times safer, safer I just
think there's more factors involved in like the leveling out
of the helicopter.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Why do all famous people do it?

Speaker 4 (20:39):
Because they I think helicopters are an easy quick way
for them to shoot like over like whoa look at
look at Like Leah Remini, she's she's a doing a
travel show and she wants to look at the New
York skyline. Let's get her up there. But I think
that you can't really do that an airplane in like

(21:01):
a quick way. I think I think the Eric Traffick.

Speaker 3 (21:04):
I also think rich and famous people think they're invincible.
I think that's why they do it. And I actually
think that's why rates of death are higher in terms
of like freak accidents among wealthier people, is because they
really think that danger can't get to them. The submarine,
I have a well the submar it's like it's a
submarine all over again.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
Well, I have another theory on this. I think, like
I like, growing up, I heard so many stories of
like famous people dying in weird ways, and I was like,
why does this always happen? And then I moved to
LA and I was like, it's the hills.

Speaker 4 (21:35):
Yeah, people are bored and rich like.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
What, like, literally, it's cars on hills and it's so scary.

Speaker 4 (21:42):
Oh, you mean literally the hills. I'm not literally the
hills not.

Speaker 1 (21:46):
I mean like, there's just a lot of hills and
a lot of cars.

Speaker 4 (21:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:50):
Wait, so when you're saying freak accidents, you're talking cars only.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
No, I'm I'm talking there's just stuff that happens.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
It leads to that, but it's all, but it all
leads to the hills.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
There's a danger in those hills. In all hills, people
are falling off hills left and right. There's like weird stairs.
Everyone's driving weird weird stairs.

Speaker 4 (22:09):
There's there's grass everywhere.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
This makes sense.

Speaker 4 (22:15):
Yeah, I think there's something that you could write like
an academic journal about. But I think you need to
like research.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
Yeah, I think there ain't a couple more steps.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
I can't believe I'm being told to research on this podcast.

Speaker 4 (22:30):
Wait, can I can I tell you something about helicopters?
A story that is not long and it's not I
don't really have much to say about it, but it
does relate to sharks and helicopters. Oh, my mom is
from Vietnam, and she said, so she left Vietnam like
at the pretty much the end of the war. Nearest

(22:52):
to the end of the war. I think it was
like the false Igon. She once saw an American military
helicopter shoes a shark to the beach. She said that
they were calling in that there were sharks in the water.
She was at the beach and that they call like
American helicopter came and shot at the shark with a
machine gun.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
Well, there you go, folks, if you're wondering what's more dangerous.
Helicopters are sharks.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
That's proof.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
Helicopters can kill sharks. But sharks cannot eat helicopters.

Speaker 4 (23:21):
Yeah, unless unless the helicopter crashed.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yeah, but do you think shark could a shark eat it? No,
you're right, a shark could maybe eat the humans in it.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
Yeah, you're right, But you teach a manda fish, But
could you teach a shark shark pilot?

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Pilot pilot a helicopter?

Speaker 4 (23:43):
What if the what if you saw a helicopter in
the distance crash, so there's sharks in the water, and
then and then you just saw the helicopter lifting back
out of the water. You saw bull of blood, and
then you saw the helicopter lifting back out of the water,
and it's the shark has like the the headset on.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
That would be awesome, but it's like not doing a
good job.

Speaker 4 (24:01):
But it's doing a great job considering it's a shark,
and it's like no, and you.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
Know why, because that shark actually, after all these years,
grew limbs. He was like, I'm sick of not assimilating.
I'm going to grow limbs in twenty twenty five and
pilot this fucking helicopter.

Speaker 4 (24:18):
And it probably faced a lot of friction from his family.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
Of course.

Speaker 3 (24:23):
And it's now gone back to being punk rock to
grow legs, because you know it used to be so
first it was uncool to grow legs, then it was cool.
Then it sort of didn't happen for many years. But
now to grow legs as a shark in twenty twenty
five is like really really a punk rock.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
But I do worry about the shark though, because once
it grows arms and legs, we're assuming in this like
scenario that it has also like lungs and like the
ability to breathe. Right, sure, sure, yeah, it goes into society,
it's still going to be othered. There's nothing there's no
other I mean, there's no other walking talking shark like it.

(25:02):
So if we're having a conversation about inclusion, I just
feel like, which we are, Where does the where does
the shark fall?

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Well? And it just it just shows the failings of
our government. You know, it's it's a shark with limbs
should be able to live a life.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
Yeah, you know what, though, I sort of think that
shark can do the work of like bridging the gap
between sharks and people like I think that shark is
going to be like a Jesus like Gandhi like figure,
Oh wow, can you imagine the only shark with arms
and legs, Like he's gonna have a ted X talk,
He's gonna go.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
That's not where I thought you were going with it.
I think I see the shark going moving to New
York City and sort of expressing itself, being a downtown creative.

Speaker 4 (25:47):
I just don't feel I one, I feel like if
Jesus came back, he would immediately be killed or he'd
be he probably is back. He's just a homeless person
on the street. And we're all when we're all leaving,
walking passing by because we're on our inner air pods
in our slack chats.

Speaker 6 (26:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
Yeah, we're listening to the typing our emails.

Speaker 4 (26:07):
Saying do I really have the Caroline Polochick haircut? And
meanwhile Jesus is dead on the streets covered in Joe's
pizza paper plates people have thrown. I'm pandering.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
People are getting Caroline Polocheck haircuts. Meanwhile Jesus is dead
on the streets.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
Damn in A shark can't even get a college degree.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
But I'm saying, okay, so Sam, you're saying the shark
with the arms and legs would become a downtown creative.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
I do think that you think that.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
I think he would be like a unifying, you know,
social justice figure.

Speaker 1 (26:46):
See. I think so it would start with downtown creative,
and then the next shark to move here would be like,
we're not all freaks.

Speaker 4 (26:53):
Okay, wait, I think we're jumping so far.

Speaker 6 (26:58):
Yeah wow, oh my god, that's actually that's the that's
the sharks ted x talk.

Speaker 4 (27:12):
Well that's what I was going to say, is we've
we've like jumped so far ahead. We haven't. It's like
the shark speaks English. The shark because don't have lips.
They feel like extending jaw. But I don't think it
would be able to talk the way that we could talk.

Speaker 3 (27:30):
Okay, So so I agree with you, Patty, but I
think you're missing one key thing, which is there are
already like marine biologists who study sharks and shark language,
so one of them would be called to be an interpreter,
and the shark could in fact communicate with humans in
that sense.

Speaker 4 (27:47):
You're right, thanks for checking me on this. They're Armory
biologists who study shark language.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (27:55):
Yeah, so we're also they say, what is she saying?
What is she saying?

Speaker 1 (28:00):
And she's saying prolapsed anus, prolaps.

Speaker 4 (28:03):
I haven't had that in a while. I'm going to reese,
I'm going to fire eel. Okay.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
So maybe that is what the shark with arms and
legs would do, is like maybe try to fit in
at first, be rejected, and then be like you know what,
fuck this Like I'll show them and then go to
Rees's Beach and eat all the gay guys on land.

Speaker 4 (28:21):
Well maybe it's like I'm going to eat the gay guys.
But then it goes and the gay people are like,
oh my god, come to hang with us.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, They're like, hey, diva and this is where it
gets to the downtown part. I see, so the oh, yes,
you're right.

Speaker 3 (28:35):
The only people that accept the shark you're getting are
like Keith Herring, you know, like.

Speaker 4 (28:43):
Bosquiot, well, people who probably were facing the direct repercussions
of the ades crisis.

Speaker 3 (28:52):
Of course, Oh my god, connect that's they are saying.
People are saying. There are articles being written that are like, hello,
there are parallels between the shark with hands in with
arms and legs and the age crisis.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
Exactly should we do it for a segment?

Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (29:16):
Have we started recording, Yes, but just barely no, the
last five minutes. I think.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
Let's start now.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Okay, podcast starts now.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
Yeah, Patty. Our first segment is called straight Shooters, and
in the segment, we test your familiarity with in complicity
and straight culture and gay culture because it's gatio lab
by asking you a series of rapid fire questions where
you have to choose this one thing or this other thing.
And the one rule is you can't ask any follow
up questions about how the game works.

Speaker 4 (29:43):
Okay, that's great. I was just worried for a segment
it was called straight Shooters. I was gonna have to
be like Kyle Rittenhouse or something. But yeah, this is
I can do this.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
Okay, Patty, Yeah, pick your brain or Dick on Maine.

Speaker 3 (30:00):
Wait, what are the rules? Well, pick your brain, Patty,
Mary fuck kill or Hillary and Bill oh Hilary and Bill.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Patty saying yes to the High Priestess or saying no
to your five.

Speaker 4 (30:20):
Nieces, saying no to your five niece.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Coca Cola or Cola Scola.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Whoa, don't make me think Cola scola, a routine oil change,
or a poutine tasting strange.

Speaker 4 (30:37):
Poutine tasting strange.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
I love poutine, streaming, buzz cut season, or being uncut
for a reason.

Speaker 4 (30:47):
Being uncut for a reason.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
Okay. Banjo Kazooi or that man Shaboozy.

Speaker 4 (30:56):
No, wait, no Shaboozy, no Banjo Kazooi.

Speaker 3 (31:00):
One kiss is all it takes? Or one piss inside
the lake.

Speaker 4 (31:05):
Ah, this one's hard to I'm going I love one
kisses all it takes me to one inside the lake.

Speaker 1 (31:12):
Oh, I love both, to be honest. Yeah, one one one, okay, Patty.
We rank our guests on a scale of one to
one thousand blades of grass.

Speaker 3 (31:23):
Can I say something? I'm ready to go back to doves.

Speaker 4 (31:27):
Really yeah, doves tho, okay, yeah, great, thousand look a
thousand doors.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
And I think you did an amazing job. I love
that you had wonder I loved that you were wanting
to ask questions. It's so rare that we get to
scold our guests even lightly. I'm going to go eight
hundred and ninety two doves.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
I agree, And that's a really good score.

Speaker 4 (31:50):
Patty, who has gotten the lowest Chris Murphy, Ah, why
we just felt like it.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
We just felt like it. We were in a bad mood. Dang.

Speaker 4 (32:03):
So your mood it creates a bias.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
Well, at least we acknowledge our bias. Yeah, many many
in this world don't even acknowledge that their mood affects
their bias.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
You're right.

Speaker 3 (32:11):
Do you think that the shark with arms and legs
would come on the podcast and follow up question do
well at straight shooters?

Speaker 4 (32:20):
I don't. I think if it depends on how old
the shark is too, when it's coming out of the water,
because we're.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
Weird, it's five hundred years old, that's going to be tough.

Speaker 4 (32:31):
Yeah, just if it's five hundred years old, then it
would have to be a greenland shark, because that's the
only shark that can grow that old.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
Yeah you did.

Speaker 4 (32:40):
Have you seen these?

Speaker 6 (32:41):
Well?

Speaker 1 (32:41):
I see the viral one because one time I went
to the dentist. You're dentist, the one you recommended.

Speaker 4 (32:48):
Yeah, actually it's look amazing, thank you.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
I just got them cleaned.

Speaker 4 (32:52):
It checks out.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
But I had a like old felling that looked like
a greenland shark.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
Oh, it's like the its skin.

Speaker 1 (33:03):
Like it was like black gray, but then had like
a weird blue.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
A little eye that has like parasites on it.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
Literally, oh whoa. But he fixed it. Unfortunately I did
kind of miss it. It was a monstrosity.

Speaker 4 (33:18):
I think that's in that if we're going to say
one thing is like undeniably like empirically gay, it's having
rotten teeth, you think so, yeah, because I think it's
about it's like shining away. Well yeah, for sure. I
think also the the like uh shut and the government system.

(33:42):
The man, the dentist is the man.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
The dentist is the man, and the.

Speaker 4 (33:45):
Teeth is where it is like where you bite from.
It's an animalistic thing. So it's like I have I'm
not going to let the man take away my thing
is the one thing I have. If like I'm ever
like attacked by somebody at my at my lowest point,
I can bite and then to have them, you know,
possibly take those away from munal. So it's like when
you're you're like, it's going giving a blowjob. The teeth

(34:10):
are are there, So that's gay.

Speaker 3 (34:14):
Do you think all blow jobs are gay, even if
it's like a straight woman giving a straight man a blowjob.

Speaker 4 (34:20):
I think if if she is wearing anything but like,
she can be naked and it's straight. She can be
in brown panty, it can be straight. She can be
in a tank to tank top no bottoms, it can
be straight. But if it's tank top and like basketball shorts.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
It's gay.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
She's wearing basketball. If she's wearing if she's wearing like
a jersey, it's gay.

Speaker 3 (34:45):
She's wearing a flatbeil cap. The more the more masculine
she looks, the gay it is, is what you're saying.

Speaker 4 (34:51):
And yeah, she's wearing an off till flat bill cap,
like it's like kind of diagonal to the side, and
she's like sucking, it's it's gay.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Can he change his outfit to make it gay?

Speaker 3 (35:02):
Yeah, Like if he's wearing like a little baby doll dress.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yeah, that's like a Pride flag T shirt.

Speaker 4 (35:11):
Yeah. I wonder how she would feel if she's like
she's sucking and she's you.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Know how there's the thing where people are like there's
like infinite planets and infinite whatever, so like whatever you
can imagine, it does exist somewhere.

Speaker 3 (35:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
I think about that with people's sexuality, where I'm like
there's so many different little types and weird things that
like there's somewhere out there there's like a straight couple
and the but the girl's fetish is like sucking off
a gay guy and makes her boyfriend dress up like
Frank Target Pride merch and then like sucks him off
and it's like so hot for her.

Speaker 4 (35:46):
Yeah, and he's got to be like girl, he's.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
Like work diva.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
And the guy. But the guy himself is actually just
like super straight frat guy and he's just like he
wants to please his wife. He's like I love you,
like I will do it whatever you want. And so
he's had to like train himself. He's had to watch
seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race. He listens to, uh, what's
the tea with RuPaul and Michelle Vissage. He is, you know,
is on Reddit. He's like learning things, he's going.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
To he watches all the Housewives.

Speaker 3 (36:16):
He watches all the Housewives. He like texts the wife's
gay guy friends and he's like, hey, dude, like, I
would love to pick your brain about this, Like if
you ever want to get a beer.

Speaker 4 (36:26):
That's awesome and go pit and put no piss in
the lake.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
That's straight, go piss in the lake.

Speaker 4 (36:32):
Well, I do think like the that exists, and I think, yeah,
I know women who are attracted straight women who are
attracted to gay men, who like are attracted to the
femininity of gaymen and constantly like have crushes on gaymen.
And I think that's beautiful. And if that straight like
Wall Street bro actually can dip into that space, that's

(36:55):
really evolved for him.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
That's really evolved, you know.

Speaker 4 (36:58):
And I would say if maybe there's probably a woman
out there who like wants to force her Streetmall partner
to transition as a sexual kink and he probably is
like I might do that.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
Do you think he would do that?

Speaker 1 (37:13):
He's like, fuck, babe, sure whatever.

Speaker 4 (37:15):
Man, He's like, babe, He's like She's like like in
saying what do what do women say to each other? No, Gurley, I.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Think is over now.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
I think Gurly is over. You know what, I recently learned.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
To get your ass.

Speaker 4 (37:35):
I just like came outside.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
You know.

Speaker 3 (37:38):
I recently learned as like a real no no.

Speaker 4 (37:41):
Bestie, Bestie, It's a no no in what way?

Speaker 3 (37:44):
Like you're you seem old if you say it?

Speaker 4 (37:47):
Oh, like saying install versus I G. Yeah, what happens
if you say bestie to your like brain matter? Do
you feel like a shock of pain and you feel.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
Like I feel a shock of pain? Yeah, like Bestie doesn't?

Speaker 3 (38:02):
It never sounded good to me. To me, it never
sounded good to me either. I also Gurly kind of
also never sounded good to me.

Speaker 1 (38:10):
Gurley was fun for a sec I preferred Girlina, but Gurley.

Speaker 4 (38:14):
Was fun, Like like is it Michaelina's? Is that the
microwavable Niolina like mic Macaroni Nikolas.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
Michaelis?

Speaker 4 (38:27):
Maybe I'm misremembering. I thought there was like a like
ready to not ready to eat, but like a quick
baked macaroni and cheese that had like a theme song.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
Wow that sort of Michelinas is like the name the
Shark with Arms and legs would have Michelas.

Speaker 4 (38:43):
Yeah, well that's beautiful combination of old and new because
it kind of sounds like it could be like like
like an ancient God. Yeah, totally freak a Roman.

Speaker 3 (38:53):
Yeah, no, totally. It's you know, I'm having a real
sort of bummer moment right now because I'm realizing mckaalenas
would never do Stradio Lab. You know what mcleenas would
do is all of the various like shock Jog podcasts
that like Pete Buddha Judge has to go on. Really yeah,
like I think like Michaelis would have to do the

(39:14):
like kind of like dirt bag bro podcasts to appeal
to Middle America to.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
Try to change minds and hearts.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
Yeah, because the the people that listen to this podcast
are already, you know, prone to like a downtown art figure.

Speaker 4 (39:30):
Yeah, they're they're prone, and they're prone in their position too.
They're laying stomach down on a bed.

Speaker 3 (39:36):
Yeah yeah, out perked up.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:40):
Mcalenus be damned well.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
And I think mcalenas is kind of brave for for
going into those spaces. How much English does mcalinas know.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
All of it.

Speaker 4 (39:57):
Okay, so like really really smart, smart enough to start
to fly a helicopter as soon as I mean.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
Mcleanus's origin stories literally that he on the spot learned
to fly a helicopter, right, So yeah, he's gonna go
ahead and be pretty smart.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
He also like is four hundred like he knows the words.
It's like he heard sailors.

Speaker 4 (40:21):
Yeah, he's heard all So is it like one of
those things where like Twilight where maybe he has some
like old English and him Yeah, he can speak every language.

Speaker 1 (40:32):
Like he's saying, like where art thou and and bestie
where for? Yeah, Patty, I have a question. Okay, you
know the moment I watched in the door, you said
that our friendship is at a low point right now, and.

Speaker 4 (40:55):
I just didn't think it would make it on them.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
Yeah, everything makes it on.

Speaker 4 (40:59):
So please that I just mean that, like when our
friendship was good, it felt better, and now it feels
in a bad place because I don't like being around.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
You, oh oh oh oh.

Speaker 4 (41:17):
And I get the sense that when you're around me
you wail off and become really cold. Yeah, and you
clutch your stuff like I'm going to take it, and
I don't understand it. It makes me feel on edge.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
It's like this weird thing that happens when you're around
where I like feel like the value of my things
more like I'm like, oh, these are actually worth a
lot of money, and I don't like how that makes
me feel.

Speaker 4 (41:44):
I completely understand, and I wish we would have had
this conversation like four months ago, because I have been
I'm sure maybe you've gotten them, but I've been like
emailing you from like a lot of like hundreds of
burner emails, yeah.

Speaker 3 (41:58):
Threats, and I like, could I just say something. I'm sorry,
But it's like the elephant in the room that we're
not addressing. Is the reason Sam is afraid that you're
going to steal his stuff is because you have been
known to steal his stuff, Like you just feel you
have robbed his house multiple times, both the New York
City and LA Why are you rehashing that. I know

(42:20):
that you say you've changed, but like you have to
have some empathy that Sam like has this trauma of
every single time you would hang out together, you would
plan to hang out together, he would go, you would
not have shown up because you specifically planned the hangout
so that you could rob his house.

Speaker 4 (42:36):
I think we're rehashing stuff that doesn't it just feels
I don't I didn't know we were going to talk
about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I feel a bit
uncomfortable to go into it, but I just want to
say it does bother me a little bit that you
are are going at it so hard, George. It makes

(42:57):
me feel like you guys talked about it before because
I personally don't remember doing any of that, not that
it didn't happen. And I saw, like I saw the
videos I love me, and I was like, yeah, that's me.
I'm not gonna I'm not like some gas lighter dumb ass,
Like I'm not trying to be abuse. I'm not trying
to be like a fucking toxic like abuser gas lighter.

Speaker 3 (43:20):
Yeah that is me.

Speaker 4 (43:21):
And the video is stealing, you're stealing the stuff. But
I just why are we rehashing it? I don't know
if because I can't remember, I don't feel like I
can really apologize, and I feel like that's what you
want from me, But I told you I don't remember
doing it. Yeah yeah, yes, So I just like I
still get what we're what we're talking about.

Speaker 3 (43:41):
So I sort of think the issue, Patty, is that
I completely believe that you don't remember doing it, and
I don't necessarily think you owe anyone an apology. The
fact of the matter is all that stuff is still
in your possession and you have not returned it now
that you're in a better mindset and you know say
that you would never do it again.

Speaker 1 (44:02):
And there's this thing that keeps happening where like so
you'll steal like say, like my Prada, like my Prada shoes,
Like you'll steal those, and then and then I'll be like, Okay,
that's okay, I'll replace them with like Gucci, Like I
have these Gucci shoes, and then and then those go
missing as well.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
I said I'd replace them. I didn't say. I didn't
say I would replace them with Gucci.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
I'm replacing them when.

Speaker 3 (44:25):
You wouldn't even need to replace them. You have the
Prada shoes and you're in fact like wearing them and
doing Outfit of the Day videos and doing get Ready
with me, and you're like.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
These are vintage, these are used, and by the way.

Speaker 3 (44:35):
They don't even like no offense, they don't even fit you,
like you're doing it just to mess with Sam, like
they're too big on you and they don't and their
men's shoes like there's no reason for you to be
wearing them.

Speaker 4 (44:46):
George, Can I can I get like a teammate because
I'm being I'm being dog piled right. This is a
witch hunt, This is weird.

Speaker 3 (44:57):
I just I don't know. Because Sam Sam, I feel
a sense of I want to defend Sam because I
know that he has done everything in his power to
mend this friendship. And for you to first come in
and the first thing you say is I feel like
our friendship is not in a good place, and then
it's not.

Speaker 4 (45:13):
It's not in a good place. I'm not going to
be fait.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Skirt accountability when we try to, like talk to you
about the things you've done.

Speaker 4 (45:21):
I'm not skirting anything. I'm not skirting anything. I feel
like I'm sorry, I'm raising my voice. I feel really
like defensive right now, because I definitely feel like I
wasn't expecting to talk about this today. Yeah, I feel
like I can understand why you feel afraid to have

(45:44):
your stuff near me because I have taken things from
you in the past. I am telling you, I wish
I could be sorry, but I don't remember, and so
I can't like you if I say sorry, it's not
going to be And I do have this stuff that
you're talking about, yeah, that I have taken, but it

(46:06):
is in my possession now and and I feel like,
like all of a sudden, like even though I didn't
ask for this, like it's I don't I think I
just was like like had a lot on my mind

(46:26):
that day because I was I had to go grocery
shopping and my my grocery was huge, and so I
had a lot on my mind. I wasn't even paying
attention in the fact that like I was like stealing
from you. And so now it's like I'm this bad
guy who has to has to like return this this stuff.

(46:48):
Does that make sense? Like can you like just you're
you're yelling literally yelling at me to be empathetic. Can
you extend that to me just to say, like, I'm
I'm in pain all the time? Of course, you know,
have you watched the news?

Speaker 3 (47:08):
No, no, what's going And something happened.

Speaker 4 (47:11):
So I can't really remember, but there was something that
made me really sad, and and so it's just been like, really,
you're gonna you're gonna like fight. This is the hill
you die on, is like, I have your stuff. I
stole a bunch of your designer stuff. I stole like
multiple times over the years and keep stealing it. And

(47:34):
that's the hill you're gonna die on. And then you
bring me and the but I'm I'm not allowed to
I'm not allowed to address if I have, like if
there's like a strange tension between us, it just feels
people please or codependent or something. I'm getting that out,
Like I'm not that way anymore, okay, And I'm George.

(47:56):
I just want to say we you're you're really, you're
really going in. But you don't want to talk about
the fact that you want up the statue of Liberty's dress.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (48:05):
I just don't really think that's the same, because the
power dynamics are completely different.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
You know.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
The statue of Liberty is actually like one of the
most giant women globally, and so for me to go
out of stone, she's made of stone, she's like from France. Like,
for me to go up her dress is actually someone
in a lower level of power reclaiming their power as
a queer individual by going up the statue of Liberty's dress.

(48:32):
You know, it's the equivalent of someone taking down an abuser,
Whereas I think, I just don't you know, I think
what you to steal Sam's designer clothes seems different. You know,
Sam is an independent LGBTQ plus creator. He's not the
statue of Liberty.

Speaker 4 (48:48):
Sam's not independent, He's incorporated.

Speaker 3 (48:52):
That's true, you can be independently incorporated. He's the soul.
He's the sole shareholder.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
I'm the only employees.

Speaker 4 (49:01):
Well, I what I'm hearing is that you think that
a woman of any size it doesn't matter like that,
like her size. A woman's size determines if she has
agency or not, if like a man should get to
go up her dress, if she if she's a bigger,
if she's literally a bigger woman. You're like, that's just

(49:21):
that's crazy, George. I mean, and the fact that she's
from like why are you trying? It's like, okay, she's
like a foreigner, like okay, and I'm I'm allowed, Like
you've flipped it on her that maybe because she's like
it just said, it just reeks, It just reeks of
like this disgusting sexual dominance. Gay men assert over straight

(49:48):
women that we see at the bars and in the clubs.

Speaker 3 (49:51):
Patty, I just have one follow up question for you.
I love those boots. Where'd you get them?

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Yeah? I happen to remember buying those from my wrestling practice.

Speaker 4 (50:10):
I cut them at the fucking store.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
Which store, Patty? Which store.

Speaker 4 (50:18):
You're wrestling practice?

Speaker 1 (50:24):
You know, Patty?

Speaker 3 (50:25):
I just I have to say, like, we have to
move on, because you know, this is gaeteo web and
we have to introduce a gay topic. But Sam, I
do want to give you some space. I realize I'm
speaking for you. You know, I feel very defensive as
a friend. We talked about this and we said, you know,
we're having Patty on and we want to like do
it right. I want to give you a chance to

(50:45):
finally just say your last word on.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
This, Patty. I want to forgive you, and I will
work on it. And I still may clutch my things
closer to you know, Louis bag that I brought to
the recording, of course, will be held close to me.
Don't put your eyes on it, and I when you remember,

(51:11):
I'll forgive you.

Speaker 4 (51:13):
I think that is that's fair. I hear that you're
saying that when the time comes should I remember doing
something that I can't remember doing. I don't know when
i'll remember that, but that you are can offer forgiveness
for me. I think it's a really I think it's
a really kind thing. And I just would like to

(51:38):
say that. I know, George, you said we have to
move on to go on to our gay topic. But
what is more universally gay than friends fighting?

Speaker 1 (51:51):
Wow?

Speaker 4 (51:52):
Having rotten teeth?

Speaker 1 (51:56):
Okay, well, what's the third we have? Fighting with our friends?
Rotten teeth? And give us a the gay topic?

Speaker 4 (52:02):
Online?

Speaker 1 (52:03):
Online? Now? What about online feels a gay to you?

Speaker 4 (52:11):
Community? Outside of your house?

Speaker 1 (52:15):
Oh? No, my branded thing fell?

Speaker 3 (52:18):
What fell? Oh?

Speaker 4 (52:19):
I heart podcasts?

Speaker 1 (52:21):
It's back.

Speaker 3 (52:23):
Are those listening? The piece of Sam's mic that says
I heart on it fell?

Speaker 1 (52:28):
So anti capitalist of me, this.

Speaker 4 (52:29):
Er I was about to see watching all Sam's rotten
toeth fell out. Sam's one big rotten tooth fell onto
the ground.

Speaker 3 (52:37):
Oh and it says iHeart on it?

Speaker 4 (52:40):
I okay, you got it to cosmetic.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
My big rotten tooth would actually be a I think
Lord would use it for an album cover for this
current cycle my rot two. Yeah, it looks like a shock.
That's four hundred years old.

Speaker 4 (52:59):
I I do want to not make you sit in
the rotten toothness. I recommended my dentist because I had
not gone to the dentist in like sixteen or seventeen years.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
I was similar.

Speaker 4 (53:11):
I went and I had like four or five like
bored out, rotten cavities, and they like replaced two of
my molars and gave me a million fillings. And so
that's that feels that's why I'm LGBTQ, even though I'm SIS.
I have vagina womb eggs born that way.

Speaker 1 (53:32):
Way.

Speaker 4 (53:33):
Yeah, straight, you.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
No longer have rotten teeth, so you sort of transitioned.

Speaker 4 (53:38):
Into lgbt but I did.

Speaker 3 (53:42):
Well, this is interesting.

Speaker 4 (53:43):
I have the experience, like I have the memories. I
remember that.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
Is it enough to have memories?

Speaker 1 (53:50):
So you remember your teeth enough? Feeling all my things?

Speaker 4 (53:53):
Is it enough to have memories? I just I just
think we have to not rehash.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
Sorry, we're not rehashing that.

Speaker 4 (54:01):
I think you're not able to move past the pain
of it.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
And yeah, I have. You know, whenever I go to
the dentist, your name shows up on the screen because
you referred me.

Speaker 4 (54:13):
Really, yeah, does it say my dead name?

Speaker 1 (54:16):
No, Patrick says Patty Okay does say white.

Speaker 4 (54:20):
Yeah, huh, that's yeah, that's my that's I really wish
you didn't say that, Sam, because that is personal information
and it is, in fact my race.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
Maybe maybe it's my race, maybe it's mine. Maybe they're
maybe they frame it weird.

Speaker 4 (54:40):
Yeah, you're why right?

Speaker 1 (54:43):
Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 4 (54:45):
You've got some You've got some flavor.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
Folks.

Speaker 4 (54:52):
Have you ever been with a girl like me before?

Speaker 1 (54:56):
With rotted teeth?

Speaker 4 (55:00):
I was gonna say something sexy?

Speaker 1 (55:02):
Oh like what George? Sorry, if you don't mind watching
just for.

Speaker 7 (55:04):
A minute, hmmm, kind of my Oh he disappeared, did he?

Speaker 4 (55:11):
He didn't?

Speaker 1 (55:12):
Like he really hated that.

Speaker 4 (55:13):
Is he still here? George? Are you still here?

Speaker 1 (55:16):
George literally left? That must have made him so uncomfortable.
Sometimes it's like like when like straight stuff is happening,
he like acts really like weird.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
Why he's going to the bathroom to jack his cock off?

Speaker 1 (55:31):
And maybe that's it. Maybe he's like so disgusted, but
it's like it turns him on.

Speaker 4 (55:37):
He's disgusted in himself that he's so harasked.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
Yeah, because he wants to be like this gay guy
who like knows what a puav is and like, actually,
he's just like a fucking stray guy.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
Do you believe him when he says a puav is pep.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
Personus, I He'll just be spewing bullshit And I just
nod and I say sure, sure, whatever.

Speaker 4 (55:57):
Why do you do this with him? You don't have to,
like you could do it with me.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
No, the contract is like really strict. Oh god, yeah,
they've got my balls in a bind.

Speaker 4 (56:08):
Well I can help with that.

Speaker 7 (56:14):
My my pussy can help. I can it can untie
the blinds like prehensiles, like you know how people can
tie cherry stems of their tongue. My pussy can help
you get out of legal Uh uh?

Speaker 4 (56:33):
What is it? Tribulation?

Speaker 1 (56:35):
That's cool? So why didn't you want to be a lawyer.

Speaker 4 (56:39):
Because I didn't want to follow my dad's footsteps. More like,
more like, okay, should we stop?

Speaker 1 (56:51):
Unfortunately we have to keep all of this it pass.
But we can also just wait until George's back now
and then be like, and now he's back.

Speaker 4 (57:02):
Wait, what were you gonna what joke were you going
to make.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
That your dad's bussy was doing all the legal work.

Speaker 4 (57:06):
For That's not okay, my dad's dead.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
I know, but like you've said, he was a lawyer,
like and you said that, Like I just am sort
of saying, I wonder where you got it.

Speaker 4 (57:19):
My dad's bussy.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
Oh, George's back.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
Are you okay?

Speaker 4 (57:24):
George?

Speaker 1 (57:24):
George? Are you okay? You're back?

Speaker 3 (57:26):
I know, I know, but we're just figuring some other
stuff out. But and so I and I can't really
see you, but you guys should keep talking.

Speaker 4 (57:33):
Well, I was just worried that because it just went dark,
that it was like the scene in the Dark Night
where Maggie Jillen hall Bo gets blown up.

Speaker 1 (57:39):
Yeah, well, just to catch you up since you.

Speaker 3 (57:43):
Were gone, Yeah, what happened while I was gone? And
can get on?

Speaker 1 (57:47):
Yeah? Well, well, yes, we realized something about you.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
Oh my god, what is this?

Speaker 4 (57:52):
Yeah, we just realized something about you.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
What well, that you're a sick pervert?

Speaker 3 (57:57):
What the hell?

Speaker 1 (57:59):
And the you know, when Patty and I were having
a connection, you had to turn off your camera and
mike and leave the room to go.

Speaker 4 (58:11):
Yeah, it made you uncomfortable to see that Sam and
I's connection could go further than yours.

Speaker 3 (58:18):
Sorry, but this is such bullshit, Like I literally came,
I came in here, Sam to defend you. I had
my talking points for Patty. You said, Patty abuses you
all the time and steals from you all the time,
but you were not brave enough to confront her. So
can you help? And I said, okay, Like, I've always
had a good relationship with Patty, but I'm like down
to ruin my own relationship with Patty for your for

(58:39):
the sake of your prodes shoes. And now suddenly you're
turning against me and allying with your former nemesis. Well,
I just.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
Realized, you know, maybe you weren't such a reliable narrator,
and potentially you were trying to turn me against Patty
because you didn't want us connecting in a romantic way,
because you knew it would turn you on too much
and make you not begin anymore.

Speaker 4 (59:00):
Yeah, George, I don't know if you are being serious
or not, because I don't know if you can tell.
But all of that stuff was a joke and a
bit that we were doing what I don't steal from him.
We're a good friends. We're good and what's not a

(59:21):
joke is the tension between me and Sam in a
good way in the sense of the emotional and romantic
and physical connection that we have.

Speaker 3 (59:30):
So you're telling me you made up this whole bit
and brought me into it as a form of psychosexual
play between the two of you.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
Your kink is.

Speaker 3 (59:40):
Literally gaslighting your friend into like a fake narrative so
that you guys can then feel closer to one another.

Speaker 4 (59:51):
Well, let's just say yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
I think we can start by saying pretty much.

Speaker 4 (59:56):
Yeah, Sam is straight, always have been. And my pussy
is in the room and he said he fucks it
and suck.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Yeah. No, I get what.

Speaker 3 (01:00:09):
I get what straight is, Patty. Thank you. I understand
how it works. Really, I have a question.

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
I bet you do?

Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
You per And so, Patty, you're one of those six
straight women that whose gank is that they want their
straight husbands to act gay. And this has been a
long term bit where Sam literally pretended to be gay
his whole life, started a podcast with me, did it
for five years? Also, it could lead to this moment

(01:00:35):
of confrontation.

Speaker 4 (01:00:37):
Yeah, and I think it's funny that you think there's
only six of us. There's so many more of us
out there than you could ever imagine. And you know what,
and you know what after that five years, every time
a recording ended with you. He came over and he
fuck me.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Fuck yeah, yeah, it was crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:00:57):
I said, what did you say? And he's like, we
talked about pop and I was.

Speaker 8 (01:01:01):
Like, that is so sick, Patty, Well, it would be
sick if you didn't get a big kick out of it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
Georgina is here's a question, Georgina, you are other? Are
our other guests and producers and iHeart and Will Ferrell?
Are they all in on it?

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Oh? This thing goes really deep. I mean, if you
think Bowen and Matt are straight or are gay, you
aren't paying attention.

Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
So you're saying Bowen and Matt paving the way by
having the by having their podcast, was also part of
this sick psychosexual game.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
Pretty much.

Speaker 4 (01:01:38):
Yeah, it's not sick. It's actually a very sustainable way
of life. It's unconventional, sure.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
But it's Pride month and love is love.

Speaker 4 (01:01:47):
And love is love, and that's I think a thing
that we could talk about is gay hate, So now
unwelcoming and other kinds of love.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
Here's my question for the two of you, the happy
cup is where do we go from here? You know,
do I keep acting as though I don't know about
this for the sake of our careers, for the sake
of our podcast deal, and I guess for the sake
of your relationship by extension, are you planning on, I
don't know, eliminating me now that it's all out in

(01:02:20):
the open and this is all over.

Speaker 1 (01:02:21):
Oh yeah, you also missed that part of the conversation,
which is what well. I told Patty that you know,
iHeart has my balls in a bind, and that.

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
Is that another one of your kinks.

Speaker 4 (01:02:37):
Let's just say that I offered to unbind them with
my plus.

Speaker 3 (01:02:44):
So I guess we can just say that, but I would,
in fact like a little more context in terms of
just materially what that means for me.

Speaker 4 (01:02:54):
You know how women can tie a cherry, some with
their tongue.

Speaker 3 (01:02:57):
And some with their vaginas well.

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
Some can do legal documents with their vaginas.

Speaker 3 (01:03:05):
Can do legal documents? Do you mean documents or like
them wholesale whole clot from scratch.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
I mean, it's.

Speaker 4 (01:03:14):
Really interesting you bring up the word scratch because a
lot of women, a lot of women call their pussies
their gash. But see, my pussy stayed the same size
ever since I was born, and it's so small. I
call it my scratch, so okay, when men are fucking me,
I say, oh my god, yeah, fuck my scratch. And
then when they're like where do you want it, when

(01:03:35):
they're about I'm about to come, I'm like, come on,
my scratch. So interesting to use the word scratch.

Speaker 1 (01:03:40):
Interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:03:40):
That is really interesting.

Speaker 4 (01:03:44):
Honey, George, I think you need to just drop drop
the act yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:03:52):
What do you what do you mean?

Speaker 4 (01:03:55):
Let's just say going up?

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
What's that you?

Speaker 4 (01:03:58):
Liberty's dress isn't the only thing I've seen you do, Patty.

Speaker 3 (01:04:04):
This is I really don't want to talk about that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:07):
Oh, we've seen you at Union Pool hanging out with
those twenty six year old women.

Speaker 4 (01:04:14):
That are wearing that are wearing deftones T shirts that
are cut into little kind of like crop tops. Yeah,
not even just regular straight chicks, kind.

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
Of alt all all Brooklyn type.

Speaker 4 (01:04:29):
Semi semi al. Did you see Brooklyn Dikes types? Yeah,
Brooklyn types.

Speaker 3 (01:04:35):
Listen. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
They whoop.

Speaker 4 (01:04:44):
There it is, George that we knew it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
We knew it? Are you?

Speaker 3 (01:04:49):
I don't think I like to keep those parts of
my life separate, and it has never affected my performance
on the podcast, nor have I implicated anyone non consensually
into my own sexual which is valid, by the way,
especially during this month, Pride Month, where I'm one of
three LGBTQ plus individuals in the entire world, although we'll
see how many are left by the end of this episode,
by the way, and so I don't think anyone. I've

(01:05:11):
never been dishonest with anyone, whereas you two have literally
strung me along for five years. I'm gonna need years
of psychoanalysis, Freudian psychoanalysis, four times a week in order
to get over this.

Speaker 4 (01:05:24):
Well, it's interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
All those girls at Union Pool know exactly who I am.
They know who I am when I'm with them. They
know who I am when I'm in the studio and
they are okay with it.

Speaker 4 (01:05:33):
And they know who you are when you're when you're
in their guts.

Speaker 3 (01:05:38):
Yeah, do you have a problem with that?

Speaker 4 (01:05:43):
I just think it's a bit. I think you should
win a gold or silver medal for the floor routine
you just did in front of us. The amount of
gymnastics you had to had to do to convince yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
Yes, the amount of gymnastic you're like.

Speaker 4 (01:06:02):
Place you're doing gymnastic.

Speaker 3 (01:06:07):
Calls because I just stuck the damn landing.

Speaker 4 (01:06:11):
No, we're saying, we're saying that the gymnastics you're doing
to gas sight yourself into thinking that you're gay when
you're actually straight and you're fucking a bunch of semi
old girls. Uh, Union Pool, Not that you stuck the
landing on your own, are you? You are not Simone
Biles and sticking your landing on your.

Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
Own in the Olympics like before before or she didn't
do well in that.

Speaker 4 (01:06:33):
Regard, But you are Simone Biles in the sense of
being an excellent gymnast, in the sense of you gas
your ability to gasight yourself and doing so. What's your
favorite position with Union Pool girl?

Speaker 3 (01:06:49):
What's my favorite position with Union Pool girl?

Speaker 4 (01:06:52):
Yeah, with one of the Union Pool what's your favorite
position you like to do when you have sex with
the Union Pool girl?

Speaker 3 (01:06:57):
What is my favorite position I have to do? How
dare you ask me something like that?

Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
To me, that's a valid question where all adults were well, doggie,
of course, doggy, of course, of.

Speaker 4 (01:07:12):
Course, of course, of course, doggy, doggy.

Speaker 3 (01:07:16):
That's that's what you two do together. When I'm not
all the way, Yeah, pretty. And then Patty keeps talking
about her scratch.

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
Yeah, she says, scratch that scratch.

Speaker 3 (01:07:26):
Scratch that scratch, she says, and then you scratch and scratch.

Speaker 4 (01:07:31):
Well, then I think we're getting a little far away.
I don't call I don't call my pussiest scratch and
then say scratch my scratch, scratch that scratch, because you
don't scratch a scratchy scratch an itch. And I would
not call my pussy and itch that has other weird connotations.
I would say, fuck my itch.

Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
Right right, this is so gross.

Speaker 4 (01:07:56):
Uh, we can we can talk about online, We can
talk about the online world.

Speaker 1 (01:08:02):
I don't think we can talk about you know, Patty.

Speaker 3 (01:08:04):
I just want to say, like, this episode was supposed
to be a celebration of LGBTQ plus culture. We started
out with like an innocent little bit about like oh
ha ha, like we're being exclusionary. Of course, it's kind
of a commentary on discourses around inclusion and pride, but
you know, we everyone who's listening knows that our hearts
are in the right place. We did a big bit

(01:08:25):
about how you're the third person whatever. You know, all
of it isn't good fun now, suddenly we're in such
a grotesque place and we're you're asking me what my
favorite sex positions are with barely legal women that I are.

Speaker 1 (01:08:41):
Fully legal twenty six. It's a very respectful age. We
know you're straight.

Speaker 4 (01:08:46):
We don't think you're creepy. Other than the fact that
you want up the statue Liberty's dress against her consent.

Speaker 3 (01:08:51):
How do you know that it was against her consent?

Speaker 1 (01:08:54):
She has that sign that's like immigrants, like, come on in.

Speaker 3 (01:08:58):
Yeah, I'm an immigrant. My career is going to look
very different when this episode's over. And I think when
I'm no, I think in a bad way. But I
think what I'm struggling with is where do I personally
go from here? You know, I don't think I am
masculine and straight enough to suddenly transition into the into

(01:09:19):
the straight podcast space.

Speaker 1 (01:09:21):
I think you could, Yeah, try it right now, really quick.

Speaker 3 (01:09:24):
Did you watch the game last night?

Speaker 4 (01:09:26):
Fucking I was playing paintball and my hopper jammed. I
was playing paintball and my fucking hopper. I got an
automatic hopper that it has you turn it on and
it has this little lever that you're like irritates the
ball so that it's not supposed to jam, but the

(01:09:48):
ball got jammed in there anyway.

Speaker 1 (01:09:49):
It's just like pizza, Like it is too hot, it
doesn't taste good, but when it's too cold it doesn't
taste good. Like there's like this third temperature that's like
somewhere between too hot and too cold that tastes super good.

Speaker 4 (01:10:01):
Yeah, And when I put my a Co two tank
in the back of my guns sometimes if I don't
put it in right, it gets there's some little frost
over and it's kind of freaky because I'm worried it'll explode.

Speaker 1 (01:10:11):
And do you guys eat mozzarella sticks or is that
just me?

Speaker 4 (01:10:15):
In The biggest part a paintball that you have to remember,
even though you might feel like a fucking nube is
where your eyeglasses because you can do some serious damage
to your eyes.

Speaker 1 (01:10:23):
But seriously, if you're eating breadsticks, that's pussy behavior.

Speaker 3 (01:10:28):
So I think what we're learning is that I actually
think we made the right decision Sam, you and I
as straight man, I think we made the right decision
pretending to be gay for this podcast because I have
to say, you know, to end on a positive note.
I think our work speaks for itself, and we are
much better at being gay podcasters than we are at
being straight podcasters.

Speaker 4 (01:10:47):
Okay, completely agree.

Speaker 1 (01:10:48):
I agree.

Speaker 3 (01:10:49):
And I think it's like we can consider this a
form of healing. Like I forgive both of you, You
forgive me, and that's final. And I think from now
on we can just go back to, you know, doing
what we were doing before. And I think, you know,
when you pretend enough, it sort of becomes real.

Speaker 1 (01:11:08):
That's true, Fake it till you make it.

Speaker 3 (01:11:09):
They always say that, Like I've never felt, you know,
that I was not being myself. I just feel like
I was accessing a different part of myself, you know,
the part that's false and contrived.

Speaker 1 (01:11:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:11:20):
Wow, I think the contrived part of us is the
part of us that will be most financially accessible and
relatable to every other.

Speaker 3 (01:11:29):
You know what it is, And that's what pride is
sort of all about.

Speaker 1 (01:11:32):
Yeah, that's that's what it's all about. And you know
what it is. It's how Ellen is nice on camera, yeah,
but in real life. Mean we're gay on camera and
in real life not so much.

Speaker 3 (01:11:43):
But and the thing is, honestly, when I think of Ellen,
I still her brand is still nice. Like I can't.
I can't learn. No matter how many things I learned
about her, I still think of her as dancing on
the TV.

Speaker 4 (01:11:56):
Yeah, I wanted her she I watched her recent special
Me Too. I kind of I kind of wanted it
to be mean, and I think she expected people for
it to be mean, and so she like doubled down
and made it even nicer. And I kind of respect that.
I thought it was pretty funny. And I think she's
just has a has a very uh heavy boulder to carry,

(01:12:22):
you know, and yes, she's sort of can she please
us all? She can't.

Speaker 3 (01:12:25):
She's like the statue of liberty of comedy.

Speaker 4 (01:12:28):
Yeah, and when you're carrying a cisificium boulder, but you're
also the statue of liberty, you're kind of in a
squat and it leaves.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
Everything address open.

Speaker 4 (01:12:38):
For perverted, fake gay straight men like George to go
up there and take a bunch of pictures of your
of your party that let's be honest, that one's not
a scratch, that's more than a hatchet woman. That's like,
I don't know, that's like the dent that the Titanic
made in an iceberg is probably how BIGS is.

Speaker 3 (01:12:56):
If you think I'm allowing you to, like, you know,
do like one more passive aggressive jab at this idea
that I violated the statue of deliberty, despite the fact
that we decided all of that is past us.

Speaker 4 (01:13:08):
You know what, I will say, because you said something earlier,
you said about like even if it's like playful, you
still feel it and it's real. I find that sometimes,
not just sometimes, a lot of times, doing a sustained
bit where you're fake fighting actually does create feelings of
like tension and stress, like in your body. Yeah, And
I just want to say, I think you both are

(01:13:32):
so kind and funny and brilliant, and I love you
both so much and really adore you. And even doing
a fake bit where we're fighting feels hard after a
certain point because I'm like I, even in the world
of what we're creating together, I want there to be
real reconciliation in like peace. I don't know if I

(01:13:53):
want these people in this fake like metaphysical what ever,
sure face should want them to walk away from each
other being like, oh, I'm a fake gay. People think
I'm a pervert because I allegedly did this impossible thing.
Because thereat the statue is frankly Cement and stone you

(01:14:15):
can't look up it. Yeah, So I just wanted to
put the offer that that I actually really don't like
to fight, even in bits, even though it's like kind
of the thing that I do the most all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:14:28):
Patti, Well, we love you more than you can imagine.
We basically I think you're literally like one of the
most talented people I've ever met my life.

Speaker 1 (01:14:36):
Patty, we love you more than you can imagine. And
I'm so glad you did this podcast. And I think
the fake fighting is unfortunately funny, but I also crave reconciliation.

Speaker 4 (01:14:46):
I do so well, thank you for saying that. That
really means a mountain to me.

Speaker 3 (01:14:52):
And I just want to say, sorry, go ahead.

Speaker 4 (01:14:55):
No, I was just I was just gonna say. I
think even reconciliation in the form of a bid or
a joke, and in these fake characters that we create
to make each other laugh or other people laugh, even
fake reconciliation can give us a bump of dopamine in

(01:15:17):
such a dark world. That's why we watch stories like
movies and TV where we see characters who aren't real
on screen falling in love and you know, winning the
big game. We see them win, and it gives us
a sense of hope and an aspirational target that like,
I could maybe feel that in my own life, and
I think we have an opportunity to create that in
ourselves in these skits that we do with each other.

Speaker 3 (01:15:41):
Sorry, Sam Well, I actually really liked what Patty was saying,
and I want to I think a common theme that
I'm seeing.

Speaker 1 (01:15:57):
I liked it. I just wanted to hear what you
had to say.

Speaker 3 (01:15:59):
A common theme that I'm seeing is this idea both
you know, with Ellen with straight and gay, with bits
and not bits, this idea that sometimes fake can be
more real than real, like there are certain actually authentic
things that can only be expressed within a fake context.

Speaker 1 (01:16:18):
I liked what Patty said better.

Speaker 4 (01:16:20):
Really, I think what George said has more, uh has
more bearings to be like a Ted talk or to
be like a thesis in a in an academic journal.
That's that's I'm just referencing saying that I like saying
academic journal.

Speaker 1 (01:16:37):
Well, call Mikolitis, and how do I get cooking on
that is?

Speaker 3 (01:16:40):
Mickleanis It's Miles Sam. Are you okay?

Speaker 4 (01:16:45):
It's been a long time since you were on that
on the UCB stage, right, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:16:49):
It's been a long time. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:16:51):
Oh it's so what I was gonna say before, and
now I'm pushing it, you know, because I already said
one thing and I'm saying a second thing. What I
was going to say before is that, uh, in terms
of the real tension that exists when you're doing a bit,
one thing that I noticed is that when you guys
were allied against me, I felt especially marginalized because I'm

(01:17:12):
also the only one in this studio and you are
both together in the other studio. Sure, And actually when
Sam and I were doing the bit with Patty, I
was like, oh, this is good because I feel there
is a connection that's happening across the country from this
studio to that studio because we are creating this triangle.
But then you guys are already close to each other
physically already, I feel like there are things I'm not getting.

(01:17:35):
There's body language I'm not getting. So for you two
to then you know, gang up on me felt especially pronounced.

Speaker 4 (01:17:44):
Yeah, that's interesting because I guess there's all the subtext
of like what could happen? I think when you're you know,
in an argument real or not. You're wondering what the
next thing they're going to say is, and you're kind
of like trying to forecast the best that you can
in one of those things. If we're in a different space,
It's like if it got so bad, we could like

(01:18:05):
unplug the TV and you just wouldn't see us, and
then you would be alone and we would be together
having sex and well.

Speaker 1 (01:18:10):
In the sense that is kind of what did happen?

Speaker 4 (01:18:12):
Yeah, yeah, I know that, but you are the person
who cut us out, which made us made me no joke.
There was like a moment where I was like, what if,
like he's upset, something happened, he died.

Speaker 1 (01:18:24):
What if he died?

Speaker 3 (01:18:25):
Maggie jel in the Hole style, Maggie Joel on Hall style.
I hate to say it, but I do think we
need to know literally we need to wrap.

Speaker 1 (01:18:34):
Well.

Speaker 3 (01:18:34):
I do want to say this was like such a
breath of fresh air.

Speaker 1 (01:18:38):
I agree. I think I love when we can take
Patty come on tour with us.

Speaker 4 (01:18:45):
I will, I will, and I would clean, I would
make sure you guys are up in the morning.

Speaker 3 (01:18:50):
We're literally going on tour in August. Your keys, We're
going on for in August and Patty, I want you
to email those job offers, tell them, no, I have
something better to do. We're doing SpaceX.

Speaker 1 (01:19:03):
Yeah, I'd rather do small venues across this nation.

Speaker 3 (01:19:06):
Some are medium sized, but sure, you.

Speaker 4 (01:19:10):
Don't know how much a meal and drink ticket mean
to me in the quality time of Are you guys
going on a bus? Are you flying everywhere?

Speaker 1 (01:19:18):
Flying?

Speaker 4 (01:19:19):
And do you know anyone who's.

Speaker 1 (01:19:21):
Ever the police don't destroy boys? Did a bus?

Speaker 4 (01:19:23):
That's so fun?

Speaker 3 (01:19:24):
Stops?

Speaker 1 (01:19:25):
Yeah, stop doing bus?

Speaker 4 (01:19:27):
I think what eric Andre and Sarah's.

Speaker 1 (01:19:31):
Oh they did a bus.

Speaker 3 (01:19:32):
Sarah snookes Sarah. Yeah, that's what turned into the picture
of Dorian Gray, where Sarah Snooke plays thirty seven characters.
It was originally this like really extended bit with eric Andre.

Speaker 1 (01:19:48):
She worked.

Speaker 3 (01:19:50):
She was really inspired by eric Andre actually, who turned
down the role of Shiv initially in succession.

Speaker 4 (01:19:57):
I don't I don't want it.

Speaker 1 (01:19:58):
Well, it was when you you'll be like, oh, that
was clearly supposed to be eric Andrey.

Speaker 4 (01:20:03):
Yeah, well Shiv is like Shiv is like that you
could call your penis a shiv. And then so Mike
pussy being a scratch, it would make sense.

Speaker 3 (01:20:13):
You guys are taking your buddy comedy hour on tour.

Speaker 1 (01:20:15):
Sh sh show.

Speaker 4 (01:20:17):
Me and Sam got to have our own little aside
when you and away in the dark, and I think
I would love to have Sam go away in the
dark and then me and you have a sexual moment too, George.

Speaker 1 (01:20:27):
I know, Okay, let's let's are we even do going
to do our final segment?

Speaker 3 (01:20:32):
Should we do it like so fast?

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
We're gonna do it so fast our final segment. Now
that we're all gay again in the right ways, we
are going to give a shout out to anything that
we are enjoying. People place those things ideas in the
style of its doesn't one you're at TRL shouting out
to your squad back home? I have one, George, I'm
ready to go. Go Okay, what's up pre sources and

(01:20:54):
purpose around the globe. I want to give a huge shout
out to Kylie Minogue's Slow. I think this song is
so damn good and I heard it at her concert
and everyone went buck wild, and ever since then, I've
been like, damn, this song is so good. The music
video is amazing and sexy, and I'm sort of like,
I think she deserves my credit. And I know every
gignner thinks this, but I think it too now and
I think it in a bigger, better way. Xoxo Sam.

Speaker 3 (01:21:17):
What's up, freaks and losers? I want to give a
shout out to sort of like THHC or CBD based cocktails,
maybe a canned mocktail, things that are non alcoholic that
I can drink. Pagreon listeners know this, but I have
to be for various medical reasons. Callie sober for the
next six months, and I am not going through this
summer without having specialty drinks and without feeling like I'm

(01:21:37):
in an altered state. So if you are a brand
that can help me by sending me any sort of
non alcoholic thing that can get me buzzed in any
other way, I don't care what's in it. Quite frankly,
it can be harmful chemicals that are bad for my
body and the environment, but as long as it's not alcohol,
please send it to me DM on Instagram. I will
send you my address. I don't care who you are,
and I would love to try some drinks and I'm

(01:21:58):
happy to do an on screen unboxing. So you have
six months. Please start sending them now. I'm at George
Savers on Instagram.

Speaker 4 (01:22:08):
What's up Freaks and Losers? I want to give it sorry,
what's up Freaks and Losers? I want to give a
shout out real quick to rides. I just started going
to theme parks again. I love I just and I
and I haven't been in like ten years, and I
just started writing roller coasters again, and I forgot how
how good it feels to be shaken around and thrown

(01:22:29):
upside down and field g forces and stuff. It really
makes me feel in my body you can't think about
anything else. And I really think like it helped me
kind of like step back in touch to my inner
child who has been abused, neglected us and stinking, stinking
it up inside there for so long. So I just
want to say say thank you Rides.

Speaker 1 (01:22:49):
Thank you Rides Well, thank you Patty for an amazing episode.
And we'll see you soon.

Speaker 4 (01:22:57):
See you and I love you.

Speaker 1 (01:22:58):
Bye.

Speaker 3 (01:23:00):
Podcast and is Now Want more?

Speaker 2 (01:23:02):
Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month,
discord access and more by heading to patreon dot com.
Slash Stradio lab and for all our visual earners. Free
full length video episodes are available on our YouTube. Now
Get back to Work.

Speaker 1 (01:23:17):
Stradio Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Speaker 3 (01:23:21):
Created and hosted by George Severis and Sam Taggart.

Speaker 1 (01:23:24):
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sony and Olivia Aguilar.

Speaker 3 (01:23:28):
Co produced by Bei Wang, edited.

Speaker 1 (01:23:30):
And engineered by Adam Avalos.

Speaker 3 (01:23:32):
Artwork by Michael Failes and Matt Grubg.

Speaker 1 (01:23:34):
Theme music by Ben Kling

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