"Straight Men Acting DL" w/ Ivy Wolk

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Boody who.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
This is George with a very special announcement. First of all,
my debut stand up comedy special is coming out officially
on December second. It will be available to rent or
purchase on Amazon and Apple and various other websites. But
that is not what I'm here to announce, because it
is not available yet. I am merely saying that because

(00:35):
I wanted to tell everyone that I am having a
big special release show at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn, New
York on December third. That is the day after the
special comes out, So come to the Bellhouse, come celebrate.
It will be a big show. It'll be like a
George and Friends style show with some extra special guests
and surprises. And if you buy tickets now then you

(00:58):
won't have to buy them later when I announced the
lineup publicly, so.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
You heard it here.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
First, Bellhouse, December third, Special Release Georgian Friends show. And
then the second thing is that Sam and I are
doing a sort of last minute kind of industry adjacent show,
a special edition Stradio Lab Live at on Air Fest
in Los Angeles on November eleventh. It is a podcast

(01:26):
festival and there are a few tickets set aside for
sort of the ga general admission crowd. If you don't
professionally work in podcasting, you can still see us do
our thing. So in conclusion, come to my special release
show at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn on December third, and
if you're in LA, come see us at on AirFest

(01:47):
on November eleventh. The tickets for that are on the
Bellhouse website, on my link tree on the Stradia lablink tree. Honey,
if you look for them, y'all find them. Enjoy.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
The showcast starts now.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
Welcome to zoron Mamdani's New York City. We did it,
We did it. We are recording mirror twenty hours after
the were called. I don't I don't know how to
keep time, much like our guests, but I can already
feel the energy in the city changing. I'm already not
paying for the bus. I don't think it's officially free yet,

(02:21):
but I didn't pay today when I board it.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
The energy is absolutely electric. I will say I flew
in yesterday. Last night. I got in, and I tell
you I was pretty fake. I was faking it. Everyone
around me was like WHOA, and I was sort of like, yeah,
I've been here. The whole time too, you know what
I mean. Like I was like, yeah, I felt like
a bit of a fake fan.

Speaker 4 (02:40):
I know, it's crazy that you left New York during
the one exciting thing that happened.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
I know, it so messed up.

Speaker 4 (02:45):
Well, you know, as someone who's been here the whole time,
I can tell you the city's completely different. Like I said,
I'm not paying for the bus. I had a child yesterday.
Again the way I dropped it off just at city Hall.
I said, they'll figure it out. They said, free childcare.
I dropped it off in my car that was giving
to me by state.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Amaze.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
I got a VW bug and I dropped the baby off.
I went to you know, you're allowed to do just
a twenty four hour clubbing under the Zone administration, so
you can have a baby. The state takes care of
it and then you just go clubbing.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
Yeah. I actually went to get a sandwich today and
they were like, that'll be twenty three dollars and I
was like, no, not in mine. You haven't read the
New York Hoast yet, it seem bring it back down
to twelve.

Speaker 4 (03:25):
Down to twelve and what else am I doing? I am, Oh,
I'm not paying rent yay, because did you know freezing
the right means you just don't.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
Have to pay it anymore. That's amazing.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
So anyway, I'm very excited. I felt very invigorating to
cast my ballot, and needless to say, I'm excited for
him to be completely worn down by the machine and
approximately three weeks.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
I know that's the whole thing. Though, I'm kind of excited.
It's like fun. It's like watching The Joker. You're like,
let's see how someone goes from happy and good to
like Saturday. Do you feel like you're like the only
person on earth who hasn't met him?

Speaker 4 (03:59):
You know?

Speaker 3 (03:59):
On a yeah, it kind of felt like when like
someone famous dies and everyone has the picture with them.

Speaker 4 (04:03):
I would even go so far as to say, so
his whole thing is that he did a really good
job of meeting so many people and walking up and
down Manhattan whatever. But at one point it sort of
cheapened it where I was like, okay, so he'll just
say yes to the opening of an envelope.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Like why has he met literally the jerem O Harris,
he's a.

Speaker 4 (04:19):
Jerem O Harrison politics, why has he not? And shout
out to your friend Jeremy. But why has he not?
Why has he met comedians? And yes, comedians, we know
that I've been on TV, but even ones that haven't.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
He was at Bellhouse with Mary Beth.

Speaker 4 (04:33):
Yes, and Mary be thankfully has been on TV since then,
so that's okay, But at the time, actually she haven't
been on television. I'm seeking people who have been on television.
I just want to say we are. Literally I'm I'm
I'm so excited for this guest.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
I can't wait.

Speaker 4 (04:50):
I think to me, I'm like generational talent, Like I'm like,
this is our next Lisa Gutro. Thank you, so please
welcome Ivy woke. Okay, So, Ivy, how does it feel
to be a generationally gifted comedic actress?

Speaker 1 (05:07):
It feels really great. I'm constantly employed because nobody'd be
doing it like me. So, uh, you know, that's money
in my pocket. I'm happy. I'm smiling. Bought these glasses
for thirty dollars. I reallys z any optical. My name is
scripted on the side.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
I saw that and I said, that's did you pay
extra for that?

Speaker 1 (05:28):
It was about two dollars extra.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
Oh my god, it's real. Still well, Luckily your name
is very short, so you didn't.

Speaker 4 (05:33):
Have to pay too much.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
It was it was fifty cents per letter. Yeah, I
feel great. I feel great about my life. I feel
very good and I'm not addicted to zenx anymore. So
things are great.

Speaker 4 (05:46):
And do you add live on set?

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah? Yeah, But I feel like when I'm working, I
actually get mad quiet because the thing is like, unfortunately
I am like supremely gifted, but uh, the entire filmmaking
process to me is just so tedious and at times
really annoying.

Speaker 4 (06:04):
This is what people don't tell you. And I'm semi
intentionally they might not intentionally. Have not done a lot
of acting in my life, mostly because I'm not very
good at it.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
I'm gonna say not intentionally.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
You're gonna say not intentionally, Yeah, Okay, I'm.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
Saying if somebody were like, hey, George, guess what you
get to be?

Speaker 4 (06:20):
If someone offered me, sure, But I'm saying I'm not
hitting the pavement and auditioning. It's not a priority for me.
No whereas I am, for example, getting rejected from writers' rooms. Oh,
that is something that I would say is non intentional
that I'm.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
Not It's an accident. Yeah, acting is like completely I
find it completely exhausting and irritating, and it's like you
have to, you know, stop everything that you're doing if
a plane is overhead, and it's like, well, I actually
want to get off work before the grocery store closes.
It's all I have is a single pork chop in
My Friends show, No, when people.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
Would get mad that there was like a coffee cup
in a Game of Thrones, still, I'd be.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
Like, you don't even know how hard it is. We
know there's not out something of that scope and caliber.
It's like, leave the cup in.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
Leave the cup.

Speaker 4 (07:06):
So we are recording while all the terrible reviews of
that Ryan Murphy Shore coming out.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
I watched the last episode last night.

Speaker 4 (07:11):
Okay, we need to talk about it. I haven't watched
it yet, but I'm kind of like, obviously, yes, I
believe that it's bad, but I'm a little bit like
you guys don't know how many people worked in order
for that to look even as good as it does.
The costume department.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
Alone, niss Nash is like in a trench, which you know,
I like to see Nissie in a trench.

Speaker 4 (07:29):
To me, NISI Nash.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
I've always said is like I would say, top five comedic.

Speaker 4 (07:33):
Actors of all times? Oh, I fully like I think
it's uh Julia, Louis dreyf Is, Lisa Kudron.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Wendy McClendon Covey and when they maximize their joints Lay
on the HBO show Getting on m I was shaking
King Krakowski, Jane Krakowski.

Speaker 4 (07:51):
Ivy Ivy Wolk.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Yeah, yeah, Jo.

Speaker 4 (07:57):
But I love Jin Grofflo obviously, but I'm talking like
precise surgical comedy of the type that like Jan Krokowski does. Yeah,
it's very difficult to find.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Yeah, who is your.

Speaker 4 (08:08):
Biggest comedic actor inspiration?

Speaker 1 (08:11):
Oh my god? I mean I feel like I look
for it everywhere. I just like in everything that I watch.
I'm really because they're the types of roles I play
are like character parts. I'm always looking for, Like who's
playing funny waitress number three? You know who, Like at
the end of the movie, like when the credits are
rolling really fast because it's like, let everybody get out

(08:32):
of the theater. We have seats to clean, I'm like, Okay,
who was silly bell Hop? You know? And that's always
who I'm tuning in for it's always just whoever makes
up the ensemble, like just a cog in the bigger machine,
because I feel like when I'm acting, it's like I know,
like what my utility is like, at least thus far
in my career, is like I am the character that

(08:54):
says the chaotic, annoying things that makes the other characters
look more like the hero, so that people can root
for them, root against me, and then that propels their narrative.
And so I'm always looking out for who else is
doing stuff like that. Yeah, and there's very few people
of my generation that fill the niche that I do.

Speaker 4 (09:14):
You know, what I think you're doing is actually taking
jobs from gay men, because well you're playing kind of traditionally.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
It would be like oh, honey, those shoes, Like that's
what I'm doing. I'm the new old honey those shoes. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (09:27):
Yet also like an even more depraved like sort of
like a gay guy coming out of the club, foam
foaming out of his mouth, being like on drugs, just
being like, oh, that's going on over it, hair, what's that?

Speaker 3 (09:39):
Yeah? I can see you playing like an assistant. It'd
be sort of gay assistant where they're like, oh, that
on my desk my Monday, and you're like, yeah, no,
And I have.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
Played I've played an assistant, I've played a candy shop employee.
I've played a hotel clerk. I've played a high school student.
Mean high school student who's mean to gay guys.

Speaker 4 (09:57):
Yes, that's nice, but also nice to other gay guys,
nice other gig guys, guys against each other.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Yes, So my utility in this industry is sort of
to pit gay men against each other and to just
sit back and watch with a little smirk on my
face and a bang just like kind of floating in
the wind. And that's kind of that's that's my specialty.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
When did you commit to the bank?

Speaker 1 (10:18):
I have had banks since I was I think four
years old.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
Four years old. Wow, yeah, that's amazing. And did it
change your life immediately?

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I started getting you know a
lot of people questioning my mother as to what my chromosomes.

Speaker 4 (10:32):
Were because of the bangs.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yeah, definitely. I mean I once did a show where yeah,
or you know, when I when.

Speaker 4 (10:43):
I see a little baby, when I see a little
baby with bangs, I say, sorry, is that baby genderqueer?

Speaker 3 (10:48):
No?

Speaker 1 (10:48):
Exactly, Those are the allegations that have been thrust upon
me since I was very young, especially because I did
grow up during roller Derby, so I was already you
grew doing I did roller Derby from the time I
would eight years old to thirteen.

Speaker 4 (11:02):
Did the bangs come before or after the roller Derby honey?

Speaker 1 (11:05):
During?

Speaker 4 (11:05):
Oh got her?

Speaker 3 (11:06):
Interesting?

Speaker 1 (11:07):
Well it was before I had I had bangs before,
they only got shorter during and then post.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
There was a roller derby league for children.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Oh yeah, I'm from Los Angeles, California. A bitch. Oh
it's different over there.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
Casting bring me people who were on a roller derby
team when they were eight years old?

Speaker 1 (11:27):
No, literally, need the film? No literally. And what's really
surprising about roller Derby is that most of the girls
that I grew up with doing ruler Derby are not
lesbians today.

Speaker 4 (11:39):
Well, yeah, that's that's the LA, right. It's like, if
you're in LA, you don't have to be a lesbian.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
No exactly, And that's very dark and sad to me. Yeah,
which not being a lesbian is very hard and sad
because here's the thing, It's like, I don't really have
that many like straight up lesbians in my life these days.
Really when I do link with the squad of lesbians,
I leave there like literally feeling like I'm ready to

(12:06):
grow my bush down to my ankles and like like
Lilith fair myself into like a field of wheeds. You know,
it's really empowering, like hearing like a butch, a butch
dyke be like, you know, I just love eating pussy
no matter what way it's thrown at me. That's just like,
that's so it feels so transformative.

Speaker 4 (12:25):
When you are around a group of lesbians, you just
sort of remember that it is okay to be comfortable
with yourself. Yes, And then when you leave, you're like,
this could honestly, I actually need to unlearn that because
who knows.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
What who what the I could do?

Speaker 4 (12:38):
Yes, if I only let myself go, like we're talking,
I could suddenly start like raising ferrets in the woods.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yeah, it's scary.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
If you listen to a Judith Butler, ass ho, you're
gonna end up with like a cage of weasels in
the back of your van selling them on the side
of the highway, being like this this little Jimmy, take
him for a spin for me.

Speaker 4 (13:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
No, the mutual aid is going to be suffocating. Yeah,
it's gonna You're going.

Speaker 4 (13:06):
To live in an environment of I'm paying everybody's complete abundance.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
I'm paying everybody.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
You're in debt. Yeah, Chase is calling you every day.
They're saying where is the money?

Speaker 1 (13:14):
And I said, I had to pay Tiffany's water bill. Yeah,
we fucked one time ten years ago. I owe her
for the rest of my life. She made me come
with my legs up. That's what would happen if I
was a lesbian. I would get into deep shit of.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
My landlord is, of course lesbian, as many know, And
sometimes when I pay her rent, I'm like, it's crazy
that you're like still accepting this.

Speaker 4 (13:35):
Right, if your landlord is a lesbian and you pay rent,
that's mutual aid, right.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
And also maybe the landlordism undos the lesbianism.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Oh yeah, she comes in, it renders her by maybe totally.

Speaker 3 (13:46):
Yeah, So it.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
Renders her by because she's a capitalist and a dike,
and so it just renders her.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
I always to just be like, don't worry about it
this month, Like I just want I really expect that
half the time. Yeah, so far not the case. Not
the case.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
Well, that's because I feel like, I don't know, gay
guys will always be a cut above a lesbian in
terms of like the society sure of power. You know.

Speaker 4 (14:08):
Well, that's the other thing is that as a gay
guy working in entertainment, you're in fact redistributing wealth by paying. No,
that's a lesbian that owns an RV and I'm not.
That's not some joke I'm making. She literally yeah, and
it is regularly parked outside your home.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
That's so awesome. Does it ever block like the door,
the passageway.

Speaker 3 (14:27):
No, she's very respectful about not blocking them.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
That's one the ways. Speaking of lesbian I'm taking off
my supreme flannel.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
R Oh my god, that's supreme.

Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah, it's very warm. You can feel the inside its
fleece is actually quite Oh, I believe it must have
come from a real animal.

Speaker 4 (14:45):
Well, let's hope, so I believe it.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
I mean the science they would have to invent to
make that out of fake animal is.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
Oh, they have the science.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
You believe they have the science.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
I believe they have the science. Scientists can do a
lot of crazy stuff these days.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
That's actually very true.

Speaker 4 (14:57):
In this house. We believe science is real.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
In this house. What does what does the rest of
the sign say, It's like in this house.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
Kamala is boots, Cheney, Cheney is Bay. Bipartisanship never sinks
is tea? By partisanship is tea.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Parker glasses or cunts skinny scarves are mama and having
having a sale. My mother will never come out from
underneath how much she wracked up in J Crew credit
cards for my childhood.

Speaker 4 (15:36):
I had a Crew is literally like a predatory lender,
I would say for suburban white.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
Mons, Oh my god, literally.

Speaker 4 (15:43):
On trial, like boost mobile is a.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Cashmere sweater, like literally is a noose for a white woman.

Speaker 4 (15:50):
The Kashmere sales happening at JA Crew, I don't know how,
but somehow they trick you into thinking it's cheap, but
then you're like paying it on Klarna for well, it's.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
They make it out of fur from missing people. So
like that meme that's like Rby's steak nuggets, like a
whole like twenty five piece steak nugget for two ninety nine,
Like that's missing people. We're not talking about how the
fur that's the hair of missing people.

Speaker 3 (16:13):
When I worked at the Upper east Side J Crew
and oh, moms would come in like.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
That's head right there. Even that it was.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
Tough, like they'd come in and buy a cashmere in
every size just in case. Yeah, and it was like
a cash stop.

Speaker 4 (16:26):
You no for Upper East Side moms. Cashmere is kind
of like when you go to buy groceries and you're like,
I can't remember if we have red wine vinegar at home,
I'll just get one, yes, or like I can't remember
if we have whole grain mustard at home, I'll just
get one whenever it's like seven dollars that you chew
the mustard that you chew of course, yum yum, yum,
tom tom chomp. And so they're every day they're going
to the G crew. They're saying, whatever, I'll buy two,
I'll buy a lavender.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
Well, and you need one for the for the house
and the side one.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
House.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
When I was in the lobby over there, I was
overhearing a conversation between two women, one of whom said, yeah,
I love the Hamptons. My in laws have a house there,
so we're there all the time, and you're there every weekend. Yes,
And then the other woman went, yes, I am. And
I was just thinking, like in Zorn's America, sorry, y'all
gonna get shot point blank, like it's literally over for you.

Speaker 4 (17:12):
Okay, there's gonna be strangling with the kashmir with Yeah, like.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
I'm taking your Kashmir off of you, revealing your tits
in your nice bra, your nice department store bra, and
then I'm taking it and I'm choking you the fuck
out and you're gonna collapse. Mid television ABC seven.

Speaker 4 (17:29):
Yeah, this is this is by the Way Network show.
They're going to hire you a character actress and Indie
Darling Ivy will to assassinate Wealthy Way.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Murphy's gonna ep and he's doing hair. Yeah, he's gonna
make sure that the hair.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
Is look amazing, amazing.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
But then they will be dead. Then they will be
dead because they talk about the Hampton's, you know, outwardly
in you know this in this new era of burk
no panties on. Sorry, what I've been hearing so many
people like I literally was just yesterday I was in
Washington Heights and I heard like an older man on
the phone saying over and over again, well, you know,

(18:07):
it's a Muslim state. If he wins, it's a Muslim state.
And it's like, oh, people actually believe like it's gonna
be girls in Bushwick full burk and no panties on
pushing the thong to the side at moon Ring, like
this is what people think is going to happen. It's like, no,
we're just gonna be able to have cheaper sandwiches.

Speaker 4 (18:23):
Like you said, people are very confused.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Yes, they're very confused.

Speaker 4 (18:25):
Yeah, they're like it's radical Islam, but it's also.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
They them yes, and it's like, well, I mean people
have done it well.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
Of course, people we know have.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
People we hold near pop.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
I don't think institutionally it's going to be implemented, No,
I don't think so.

Speaker 4 (18:40):
I think people are going sort of Steffan mode and
they're like.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Burke is at the club. They them's on wheelchairs.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yeah. New York's hottest club is the Mosque, Like actually
New York's hottest club is, well, is there a hot
club right now? What's hot right now? Because I've been
seeing my trans girlfriends like on Twitter being like knockdown
Center's corny by the way.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
Completely okay, people I know that went to the Amra
show where like this is not it?

Speaker 1 (19:05):
So what is fun to go to?

Speaker 3 (19:07):
It's impossible. I mean I'm luckily I have out of
like I haven't been.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Here underground raves. But how do you find a fucking
underground race? Where do you? Where do you go to
find it?

Speaker 4 (19:16):
I just you come on a gay podcast, then you
and you say into an iHeart podcast, Mike, you say,
where do I find it?

Speaker 2 (19:23):
Underground?

Speaker 3 (19:23):
Right?

Speaker 2 (19:23):
Underground ray and then they'll find you.

Speaker 4 (19:26):
Okay, comment below?

Speaker 1 (19:27):
Will I get like a d M.

Speaker 4 (19:30):
And they're going to be sexist?

Speaker 1 (19:32):
Okay, that's fine, that's okay, that's okay.

Speaker 3 (19:37):
So it's actually such a relief to know that, like
Knockdown Center is over, and like hopefully that means basement
also because like I've.

Speaker 4 (19:43):
Actually never basement is not you think basement sucks.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
But.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
You're like swagging. You have a tooth gem, So I
feel like you would think that literally anything is quiet.

Speaker 4 (19:55):
Our producer has a tooth gem and they think basement sucks.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
How that ma you feel your bangs are being held
back by a bobby pin, like you're mad Swag, So
like I think that you would find anything corny and abhorrence.

Speaker 4 (20:07):
Well, we are in a sort of awkward moment right now,
and I mean the three of us, and that like
we're on camera, but our producer off camera looks cooler
than us, and that can kind of throw off the
dynamics in a big way.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
I can throw you off. Yeah, I can throw you
off for sure. But yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
I just want to say thank you for vape, like
I did mean to ask, can I do this in
this small room? Huh? And I just did it anyways
arounds America.

Speaker 3 (20:32):
America, that's cool.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
I vapor on the train, Government save the plane. I
vape on the bus. I vaped at my grandpa's funeral.
I vaped at my friend's funeral. I take it everywhere.
I'm real hardcore about this ship. You guys, if you
want to if if Zoran does anything for vape, you
know what he should do. Actually, at the city owned
grocery stores, with the grocerries are cheaper, there should be
vapes in the checkout line. This should be ten dollars.

Speaker 3 (20:54):
How much is it thirty? WHOA?

Speaker 1 (20:56):
I know, I know, I know crazy, No, I know
there ringing me out.

Speaker 3 (21:01):
Don't they know you're an artist? No?

Speaker 1 (21:02):
Literally, don't they know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (21:03):
You're in an Academy Award winning film.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
Right, and so I should just pay I should just
pay right.

Speaker 4 (21:09):
I don't like how industrial this looks. The vape you're holding.
It's like so giant. It's black and silver, like what
happened to cute little vapes that had like a little
ombray that went some yellow to blue.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
It's geek, bar bar, what the hell? That's tough.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
It's for nerds. Bitch.

Speaker 4 (21:26):
Oh my god, it lights up. Whoa, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (21:29):
The night sky show you the world.

Speaker 4 (21:31):
You're dying in slow motion in front of us.

Speaker 3 (21:33):
I think that should be fifty dollars.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
You think there should be fifty dollars?

Speaker 3 (21:36):
Should Oh I'm going to jail.

Speaker 4 (21:40):
I think it should be fifty dollars. You pay, you
don't get to keep the money. You're immediately arrested.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
Okay, well I'm an abolitionist, so.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
That doesn't matter when they're coming to arrestue.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
Do you think when a police officer comes and it's
like you're under arrest, you can just respond. I'm actually
an abolitionist.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Actually, like I have read excerpts of Angela Davis during
twenty twenty, So don't send me to jail. You're on
some function.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
I don't believe in this. No, literally into a place
I don't believe him.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
No, I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
Exactly, you can't take me to heaven. I'm going in
the ground. If I don't believe in God, I'm not
going to heaven. If I don't believe in prisons, I'm
not going there either.

Speaker 4 (22:12):
I would love the world in which you are punished
based on your own moral code. It's like they do
a little brain skin and they're like, oh, got it,
she is an abolitionist. I guess we'll do community oriented
uh work with.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
I guess she'll have to volunteer.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
And then much she's annoying, she's going to Bushwick for
the rest of her life.

Speaker 4 (22:28):
Exactly.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
Be careful what you wish for.

Speaker 4 (22:30):
Yeah, be careful. Yeah, she's going to basement. And you
have to be at every show no earplugs.

Speaker 1 (22:34):
Oh by the booth.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
Oh, and you have to know who do you have.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
To be in the dark room while all these gay
men are fornicating around.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
I would actually be really happy.

Speaker 4 (22:41):
Just handing out juice boxes.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
I would be really happy. Actually, yeah, that's nice. I
think gay sex is interesting.

Speaker 4 (22:48):
Well yes, compared to the alternative, for sure, But.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
You know, the way it happens is just it's curious.

Speaker 3 (22:54):
To me.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
I had to I recently had to just reveal to
my straight male best friend who is thirty years of
age and had went his whole life not knowing that
gay guys can have sex like not from just behind.
He didn't know that gay guys can do missionary. I
was like, just hoist and this is a guy who's
been pegged by the way in missionary And he was like, no, no,

(23:19):
but for gay guys it's ergonomically different.

Speaker 4 (23:21):
No, I'm sorry, this is crazy.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
I know.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
No, that's the crazy thing I ever heard.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
It's madness. It's madness. But so Uran will educate the youth.
He's not young, he's there.

Speaker 4 (23:31):
Do you think Zoron has been pegged? I think no.

Speaker 3 (23:35):
I think no.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
I think no. Actually I think no, because when he smiles,
I believe it. Yeah, And I think when a guy
who's pegged, most men I know that have been pegged
kind of carry the weight to the world on their shoulders,
like the strap really took something from them as it
went in, it took something out, you know, with every
thrust it removed a little emblem of the soul. And

(23:57):
so I don't think Soaron has been pegged. His wife
is beautiful. I mean, we have the first egirl first lady.

Speaker 4 (24:03):
I know, it's kind of amazing.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
It's huge for me.

Speaker 4 (24:05):
It's amazing that our first ladies went from lesbian to
nobody to art school girl.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (24:11):
You kind of start to realize, like, Okay, this is
why the chidwife movement is growing, right, right, this is
what they're responding, right.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
They're resisting against. Yeah, the establishment.

Speaker 4 (24:20):
Everyone is just craving Laura Bush. They're like, bring back
Laura Bus. We need something we need.

Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yeah, that's what it always is, right right.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
Yeah, but I'm excited about the egirl first lady.

Speaker 3 (24:32):
They're going to hit you up for a position of
some kind in.

Speaker 4 (24:35):
The in the in the administration, in the administration, Yeah,
in the cabinet, even though the transition team potentially, which
is more.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
I'd be the czar to good vibes in a fun
time with friends. Yeah, I'm actually the zo run Mom
Donnie tzar to good times and having fun and smiles
with friends. Okay, cool, And everybody is like.

Speaker 3 (24:57):
Oh cool, Yeah, I'm the tzar of like letting for
know what they need to bring.

Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yeah. When people on Twitter are like, what would your
position be in the communist revolution, Like I think I
would be like the basket weaver. It's like, uh, you're
gonna be in the rubble a million pieces of skin
because you're gonna get blown to bits. That's what's gonna
happen to you when the revolution comes. Some of y'all
are not gonna survive me personally. I know I'm not
built for it. I Celiac disease. You know, if the

(25:22):
revolution comes and I can't, you know, boil potatoes and
eat them raw, like it's just it's just not.

Speaker 4 (25:28):
No, you're gonna be going around with a little sticker that says, GF.
Who's gonna accommodate that?

Speaker 1 (25:32):
Exactly? I can't eat canned beans when the revolution comes,
I'm gonna be shitting. They leave you behind if you shitting' that's.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
How war goes.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
You get left behind if you ship.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
If you have ship allegations on you during the revolution, sorry,
point blank in the forehead, you're under the ground.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:51):
No, the millennial Army is going to be like I'm
not beating the ship allegations. I hear they're gonna.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
Kill yes, yes, Like so if evolution really does come,
like sorry, there will be no more front facing reels
from me. You know that's not a position in the militia.

Speaker 4 (26:09):
Wow, that I'm.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
Over and I'm accepting that. I'm saying it on camera here. Yeah,
I'm addressing this my camera. Yes, yeah, you can kill me,
it's okay. If the revolution comes, I won't stand. And
I know if a race war comes, it's over too.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
Well, where would you fit in there?

Speaker 1 (26:28):
Where would I fit in the race war?

Speaker 4 (26:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (26:30):
Right, because I do like to keep it ambiguous.

Speaker 4 (26:31):
Well, I'm sort of like if there was a race war,
I would hope you wouldn't just like mindlessly be on
the white side.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
And I can't be on the juice side either, because
of you know how things are going there lately.

Speaker 4 (26:43):
Right, you know, not for me, that's not our story
to tell.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
It's no how many sides during this race war.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
In the race war, honey, it's infinite, honey, it's a
very progression exists on a million axes. Honey. When the
race war comes, we're delegating, We're we're finding ours.

Speaker 4 (27:00):
It's an intersectional race wark. You know, there's actually so
many factions that it's just one man, each man for.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Himself, No exactly, because everybody it's gonna be state mandated
twenty three and meters before you enlist, swab the cheek,
whatever your exact percentages are, that's who you're fighting for.
Of course, everybody's different, so it's just gonna be every
it's gonna be a bit just slap boxing each other
all up and down the street. I'm not gonna survive.
That's not okay for me.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
Don't you think you could use some of that charm
and you know, talk your way into surviving.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
Honey, to what end?

Speaker 4 (27:33):
I know, Yeah, it's like you win and then congratulations,
it's just you and a bunch of Italians.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Right, No, right, right? And then what I'm getting raped
all the time? Oh my god, sorry, oh my god.
The Italian community, the Italian American community.

Speaker 4 (27:48):
Everything that has been said.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
In this episode, the Italian American community. I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (27:53):
You can watch ivy on English Teacher and Laura. If
I had like, they'd kick you.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
It's really bad for me to be on the mic.

Speaker 4 (28:01):
No, it's crazy.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
It's interesting.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
I'm seeing it.

Speaker 4 (28:03):
I'm seeing it happen in real time. I'm like, you
can't control yourself.

Speaker 3 (28:07):
So what's like can you tell me like sort of
what's the deal like with what so, like I want
to know about like internet backlash.

Speaker 4 (28:15):
No, Sam, I want to know.

Speaker 3 (28:17):
I want to know because you were like you were
like not beating the allegations when you were like talking
about like being canceled or whatever.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
Yeah, I don't beat the allegations. So I just lean
into the I lean in. Okay, It's it's fine to
talk about Italians. Can we talk about light still, of course?

Speaker 4 (28:34):
Can we talk about how we met?

Speaker 1 (28:36):
How did we meet?

Speaker 4 (28:37):
Was it versus that audition one of the craziest days
of my life?

Speaker 1 (28:44):
Yeah? Wow, Yeah?

Speaker 4 (28:47):
Have I told you this?

Speaker 2 (28:48):
No?

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Okay, So we were called into audition for an sketch
group sponsored sketch group. He was not directing it. No,
It was the only boy that he enlisted, and it
was a sketch comedy group that was supposed to be
political sketchu.

Speaker 4 (29:01):
It was supposed to be leftist political sketch comedy. And
he was like, we're going to like fight the power
via sketch comedy, something that the tank, the tank, something
that has always worked in the past. Yes, And our
audition was that we had to do a rant, a
political rant, but make it kind of entertaining.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
Whatever and some people shed tears.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
No, there were people. It was actually one of.

Speaker 1 (29:24):
Them incensed and I rate and they did cry. They cried.
Somebody talked about Governor Greg Abbott. The lady cried. You know.
One girl did like a rant about the governor of
Texas because I think maybe she was from Texas or
something or had some affiliation with Texas. And by the
end of it, the end of her five minutes, when
that timer went off, she's crying. She was one of
the most hot.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
It was one of the darkest things I've ever witnessed.

Speaker 4 (29:46):
Because basically the prompt was commodify your pain in ninety seconds, yes.

Speaker 3 (29:51):
And specifically your It was supposed to be like a personal.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yes, a political or like global gripe that you have
something that's like weighing heavy on your spear, talk about
it in like ninety seconds to five minutes, and address
it to camera in group a U shaped group of improvisers.

Speaker 4 (30:09):
It can be Obviously, tying it to your lived, experienced
or identity makes it more powerful because it's more personal,
Like mine was not tied to my experience in any way.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
But you were like Greek.

Speaker 4 (30:23):
No mine was it used to be. I actually remember
what mine was. And by the way, spoiler alert, I
was cast and I was not.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
Well, I really want to know what yours was.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
Well, that's what we're building too, because it's iconic.

Speaker 4 (30:36):
Okay, So mine was this felt fresh at the time
I promised, this was like three years ago. Mine was
about how I didn't like how everything in these times
is called content. Like I was like, by calling things content,
you're sort of like using the language of advertising in
a cheapen's art obviously, you know, literally giant jerk off motion.
But I knew it was going to hit, you know

(30:57):
what I mean. So that was my rant. Everyone everyone
is talking about, people are talking about, you know, serious issues,
gay violence, gay rights, sexual assout whatever.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
The white guy with long hair and like half length
sock started crying.

Speaker 4 (31:10):
But I want you to because this was an a
star is Born moment for you in my mind, Like
I was like, I cannot believe this bitch cut out
of her seat, went to the center stage in this
basement in you know, the East village. Yes, And I
want you to say what your rant was about.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
My rant was about my roommate accusing me of using
her hair straight.

Speaker 4 (31:33):
No one else had done like a bit like everyone else,
including me, was taking it seriously and sort of like
making it their own.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
I got up there and I said, I know this
is gonna sound meritricious and vapid to some of you,
but my roommate recently accused me of using her hair
straightener when she wasn't home, and I need to talk
about it. And so for five minutes, I just talked
about how much I hated her, and everybody was kind
of like slack jawn, expecting me at one point to
start being like and the government's I had to go

(32:00):
away my mother's food stamps. And I didn't say any
such thing. I was just like, she's a bit she
wishes she was born British, but she's not, and every
day she like walks in the pain of that she.

Speaker 3 (32:11):
Wish she was born British.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
Yeah. No, it was like personal attacks against the against
my roommate from when I was I was eighteen years old.
At the time, I was eighteen years old in that
I had moved to New York the week before. Wow,
it was it was one weekend.

Speaker 4 (32:24):
I was congrats on getting that audition she cut. I know,
not a lot of eighteen year olds were there.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
No, it was it was you know, elders. It was
like it was a lot of queer elders in that room.
I would say yeah, And then I was like taking
this subway back to Brooklyn after the audition with a
bunch of people, and I was like asking everybody. I
was like, so, what's like your guys's deals And they
were like, well, I'm thirty six. I run a monthly
at bell House. And I was like, oh cool, Like

(32:49):
I'm eighteen, and like I was a child actor and
now I'm in New York and I'm thinking about getting
addicted to pills. So that was my story and then
I didn't get the job at all.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
I'm glad you're saying all this because I had this
whole time. I have been sort of like, what's your backstory?

Speaker 1 (33:03):
What's my backstory?

Speaker 2 (33:05):
You've been an actres since you were what thirteen thirteen?

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Thirteen years old? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (33:09):
Like what kind of stuff?

Speaker 1 (33:10):
What kind of stuff? I was on a sitcom run
by a gay guy, literally gay guys, A predicted toy
to putting me in a sitcom.

Speaker 3 (33:15):
What was it?

Speaker 2 (33:15):
Sitcom comet.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
It was called Everything's Going to Be Okay. It was
on Free Form, which was like a Disney subsidiary and
doesn't really exist anymore. It was ABC Family where they
did the like Christmas movie marathons.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I remember a free Form Yeah,
I had not younger.

Speaker 4 (33:29):
What was the other one? Did they have? The one
about the women's magazine on free Form?

Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yes, the bold type, the bolt type, the bolts.

Speaker 4 (33:35):
A lot of people I know loved the bull type.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Yeah, people were gagging for the bull type. Megan Fahie
from White Little Oh, you know, we.

Speaker 4 (33:40):
Met her once, but yeah, it was really nice.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
She's an amazing talent in a glimmering, beautiful star and
her face is she's so intelligent and gorgeous. But yeah,
so I was on that show when I was thirteen.
I made it one season. I got fired for what
I was posting on the Internet, and then I was
unemployed for the rest of high school until I was
turned eighteen.

Speaker 4 (33:58):
The idea of being unemployed in highschool is obviously one
of the most iconic stents I've ever heard, because guess what.
I was also.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
Struggling actor in high school, auditioning five times a week
and not hearing anything, and most of what I was
being sent were like Christian movies for most of high school,
and so I would get like in front of the camera,
I'd be like, hi, Ivy willk five to two Los Angeles,
But David, God's on your side. And it was like
that for years. The phones were not ringing. Nobody wanted me.

(34:28):
I literally was so like I was so unworkable that
I had been fired from a job that I did have.
Like that was how much people did not want to associate.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
Was there a specific posts that got you fired?

Speaker 1 (34:39):
One of the they well, Freeform was creating like a
dossier of basically everything that I had done on the
internet that they were then you know, presenting too higher
up to the network being like this is why we
need to get this heeffer out of here. One of
the main things that really got me in a lot
of trouble was I made a TikTok when I was
like fourteen or fifteen, where I was a green screened

(34:59):
by self, uh dancing and like stomping on top of
an image of a like graveyard of a boarded babies
outside of a church.

Speaker 4 (35:07):
Well that's just satire, right.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
But honey, when the mouse is involved, that's lost.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
You know.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
When when when McCard. M Mouse is, you know, tapping
his foot waiting for his morning coffee, and he's scrolling
through what the interns have brought him on his desk
that day. Satire don't exist, all right.

Speaker 4 (35:26):
It's literally like the goofy character from Disneyland comes to
your house and knocks on the door. You're under arrest.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
No, literally, you're under arrest. You're under arrest. We're taking
you to Bourbank and you're gonna die there.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
Yeah, Like that's what happens.

Speaker 4 (35:37):
We're space and then we're pressing on.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, and it's just gonna.

Speaker 4 (35:42):
Space mountain seatbelt.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
Yeah, forever and ever and ever, and once you once
it reaches the bottom of the mountain, honey, you're going
right right the other way. Yeah. So that's what happened
to me. And so I was like unemployed my you know,
from I shot that show when I was thirteen turning fourteen,
and then from fourteen years old until I was eighteen

(36:05):
almost nineteen, I did not work.

Speaker 4 (36:07):
Yeah, and then of course this amazing opportunity came up
that we both auditioned for, and you were like, this
is my moment to get back.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
Yeah. I was like, this is definitely what's gonna solidify
my star? Yeah, I take this seriously, my star, My
star is waning. I'm aging. You know, as a woman
in Hollywood, you aged, you age quicker, so it's like
you could still play sixteen on TV.

Speaker 3 (36:26):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
I just got an audition last week for Old Crone
who dies of leukemia. So you know, it's like.

Speaker 4 (36:32):
I'm I I thought in Oscar Oscar, I know, so okay,
we you know, we usually don't do traditional interviews about career,
but I'm like loving this because I want to know. Like, then,
obviously you became an indie darling, So how did that
come about?

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Well, the first job, like the first like legit job
that I got, uh after like my years of rest
and relaxation.

Speaker 3 (36:54):
Was you were in school? Correct?

Speaker 1 (36:58):
How did I do in high school? I mean I
did like online high school, and all my friends were
adults in the La comedy scene. I was like I
was just like bouncing around comedy club. This was before
I even started stand up. I was just like I
was doing like you know, I would like be eighteen,
like on stage at the Allegian in lingerie, drinking tequila
and singing ladies who lunch like literally, that was what

(37:19):
I was doing when I was How old were you?

Speaker 4 (37:22):
How old were you when the pandemic started.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
I was fifteen, Okay, so that was high school.

Speaker 4 (37:26):
So you were in high school during the pandemic. And
that's why it was zoom high school. It wasn't that
it was a zoom.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
I was doing high school before that, because you were
a performer.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
Because I was. I was on a TV show. I
was going to a performing our high school in Los Angeles,
and the like five foot lesbian who ran the school
hated my guts. Told me I had a really bad
work ethic and that's why I didn't get cast in
the tenth grade production of Spring Awakening. She said, you
have a terrible work ethic and you don't show up
for anything.

Speaker 4 (37:49):
You're like, I'm literally at Disney.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
No literally, I was like, I'm literally sorry, I can't talk.
I'm on the lot right now, you know whatever.

Speaker 4 (37:56):
Yeah, She's like you're not. Yeah, You're like, I've been
up since three am. I don't care about my mutiplication table.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
No, literally, So I get kicked out of the school essentially,
Like they were like, either you quit acting and you
stay at that high school, or we're gonna not sign
your work permits anymore, and it's going to be illegal
for you to have a job and go to school.
So I was kind of in like a rock and
a hard place, and I just resolved to do online
high school. Then covid hit was doing online high school,

(38:21):
and then like the world sort of opens back up.
I was like sixteen or seventeen, got a fake ID,
I got a fig idea it like fifteen or sixteen,
and then I was just using that to like go
to the Illegion and I was like going to like,
you know, Dynasty Typewriter, and I was just showing up
at these places and going to like backyard shows that
I would find on Instagram, and I was just like

(38:42):
making friends people who are still my really close friends
to this day. I was just like making friends with
people that I would meet at shows, and then they
started putting me on their shows before I did stand up,
and I was doing like sketching cabaret stuff.

Speaker 4 (38:55):
And at what.

Speaker 3 (38:55):
Point did you reveal to them, like, hey, by the way,
I'm actually sixteen. Like I know you're thirty and that's
a your deal, but I'm actually sixteen sixteen. The whole time.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
It's hard to conceal that when, like everybody you.

Speaker 4 (39:08):
Have a zoom calculusness tonight, Like I need to go
first on this show.

Speaker 3 (39:13):
Yeah, first of all, I'm.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Sixteen, right, It's hard to sort of conceal those things
because like everybody has stories about like fucking and sucking
and like doing cocaine and whatever, and I'm like on
my free period, right no, And I'm like, so I
live at I actually live at home with my mother
right now. You know. It was like stuff like that.
But for some people, I like was I was eighteen,
you know, And then on my ID, I was twenty three.

(39:36):
I bought a fake ID that was like thick as
card stock from like a length that had pop ups
for porn sites that I found on Reddit, and uh,
the photo on my fake ID was a still image
of screenshot of me in a self tape, and I
put that on my selfie for a job. I guess
what did not get because again the phones weren't ringing,
and I had this fake ID, and I would just

(39:58):
show up to places and bar ha with like comics
and that was like the last two years of my
high school life. Then I went to Emerson in Boston
because I wasn't working, and I was like, Okay, so
now my life is just going to be I'm a
college student for the next four years. I was like,
I'll be a babysitter in college. And then two months
into being at school, I got like the lead in

(40:19):
a pilot that will never see the light of day
literally is under the floorboards at Amazon Prime videoot.

Speaker 4 (40:26):
Yes, so that was where now and it's in theaters
now go check it out.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
Yeah, so that was where I met Mary. But I
did that pilot and that was like my first like
real job back, like I had done jobs like like
tiny things as like favors. Like there's a Netflix movie
called The Bubble directed by Judd Apatow, and I played
a YouTube video on a phone in that there's no

(40:54):
I made one hundred dollars playing a YouTube video that
plays on a phone.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
And then I like union rules and well, yeah, and
by the way, that's sketch group.

Speaker 4 (41:04):
But that's a different story.

Speaker 1 (41:04):
That's a different story. But and then I did like
when I first came to New York I or to
Boston for college, I uh was called to like do
a sketch on the Adam Friedland Show, like when that, Yes,
the Adam Friedland Show, when that was like first starting
when they were had just transitioned out of Cometown and

(41:25):
they were like trying to do video, and so I
did a sketch on that where I played like a
fourteen year old girl who's like sucking Adam's fingers and whatever.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
And that was like, which was a real stretch for
you because you were.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
Fifteen and a half right exactly, And that was like
amazing and awesome, and that sort of got people in
New York in comedy knowing who I was. People in
LA in comedy knew who I was. And then now
I was like, you know, I was in Boston, and
then that helped kind of set the groundwork for me
in New York because people recognize me from that. But
then I was in college and I did that pilot,

(41:56):
did the Adam Friedland Show whatever, Like again I was
just like, my life is gonna be I graduate with
a BA and I'm gonna figure out what happens next.
And then after that pilot happened, Anora happens. I auditioned
for an Aura a month after I shot that pilot,
and then a month later we were shooting it, and

(42:16):
then I dropped out of college and then I've just
been working ever since.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
Wow wow Yeah, and that movie won an Oscar.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
I know, and I knew what was gonna happen. That's
the thing is, I literally I knew we were gonna
go to can. I knew, I knew all of this stuff.
Everybody was acting mad humble, like Sean and Mikey Madison
are both like hella shy, like dorks, and they were
just like, like I remember telling Mike you one day
when we were we were in Vegas, like that was
the last like unit of the film that we shot,
was all of the Vegas sequences, and we were getting

(42:46):
our hair done at like eleven PM, like about to
go shoot like one of our last scenes. And I
like looked at her. The hair tinsel was like being
sewn under her hair, and I looked at her and
I was like, do you realize that, like your entire
life is going to change after this movie comes out?
And she was like, this has been a really wonderful experience,
and like I'm very happy to be here and I
love working on this movie, but I'm pretty sure that,
like you know, my life is just gonna be like

(43:07):
pretty normal after this, and I'm just gonna like be
chill and just all I'll have to find another job eventually.
And I was like yeah, And I was like no, Mikaela,
like everything from here on out is gonna be so
fucking different. I just knew these things because I think
from all of my time being like technically in the

(43:29):
entertainment industry but like not working. Most of my friends,
like before they were adults trying to make it in entertainment,
were like kids I grew up with in La who
had been child actors who were much more successful than me, right,
And so I just got finnwolf Hard, like the Apatow daughters.
Like I just got like a sort of sense for
how these things went because I was on the outside

(43:51):
of it. And it was like I was at the
same you know, parties and functions of these people, but
like I had nothing to show for it, and they
were like, you know, being flown out to France to
like sit in the front row at the y A
Self fashion show, you know, and it was like I
just I was like, well, I work. I worked at
pizza parlor at the Grove, you know, in high school,
and so I was like, you.

Speaker 4 (44:09):
Were unemployed, were working.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
I was working, but not in the way that I
wanted to work. I was Hollywood unemployed, which is really
what I mean, because I.

Speaker 4 (44:17):
Don't when you're in high school and have a job.

Speaker 3 (44:19):
Yes, exactly, this is so interesting.

Speaker 4 (44:21):
I know, I'm obsessed.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
Well, it's like I never meet people who are.

Speaker 4 (44:24):
Like Jared Jared was a child star.

Speaker 3 (44:27):
Yeah, Like growing up in la is such a weird experience.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
And it's no way to have a family.

Speaker 3 (44:32):
It's crazy. It's like when I was grown. When I
was fifteen, I didn't know actors were like real people.
Like I was like they live in like the sky.
Like I was like, you can't as a person be that.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
Yeah, I mean I was fifteen and I was like, okay,
like let's break down beat for beat this like Wendy
mcclennan covey performance, like that was the type of shit
that I was doing, you know, And so I was
just obsessed with it, and I had like a real
I read Deadline every day. I mean, I had like
a very crazy you need psychoanalysis. I know, I'm really sick.
I'm a really really sick person. I have in a

(45:03):
massive star tattooed on my back with you my shoulder blades,
Hollywood forever incursive, like with a star encasing it Like
I'm really I'm a very sick person.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
So yeah, and you're sort of fetishizing. I'm seeing you
have a Courtney loved head, So you're sort of fetishizing
the kind of like messy starlet. Yes, like dripping eyeliner
on the red carpet. Yeah, because but then they yell
action and she fucking.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
Kill yes, and I lock the fuck in. But the
thing about me is like I was not only like
you know, up against sort of corporate Hollywood powers who
didn't like what I was saying, because like comedy has
always like really come first for me, and like internet
expression has always really come first for me. So I
was up against that. But even before that, I was
famous on the internet from the time I was like
twelve or thirteen, and so I've been famous on the

(45:47):
Internet for like a decade now, and I even then
was like faced with like a lot of detractors and
cancel campaigns and all these things, and so I just
always had this understanding of it's like preternatural understanding of
like reputation, private life, career and the confluence of the
three things, and like that's really like my sort of

(46:09):
autistic special interest, and like it's all I read about,
and it's like I have posters and archival, you know,
magazines and all these things all around my house of
like these types of women who were like really maligned
in Hollywood and in the public opinion because it was
thrust upon me at such a young age, and I
have been experiencing that for a really long time, and

(46:29):
now I kind of just lean into it, Like I
don't think any of the attempts to fire me or
cancel me or anything made me paranoid or fearful at all,
because the women that are in my personal canon of
greatness are women who have faced those exact circumstances decades
before it happened to me. And so if those are

(46:51):
the people whose.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
Art I'm Megan McCain, right.

Speaker 1 (46:55):
Megan McCain, Meghan Trainer, Meghan Stalter, Meghan Malalai.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Yeah, mostly just all the Meganssage.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
And I'm changing my name to Megan and.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
The next great for you.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
But those were all the women that were the most
interesting to me from the time I was a child
whose star images I was always so attracted to, and
when it became me it was really painful and difficult
at first, but now sort of it's a thing where
it's like I, in a way have become the kind
of people that I have studied and obsessed over in

(47:29):
like diva worshiped for so many years, and that is
a really strange position to be in. But I can
sort of take my interiority and my feelings out of
it and look at myself and my career and my
public reception and my image from the same lens that
I would view it for other women, and so I

(47:50):
can kind of make myself the Diva that I worship
in a way.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
Sure it's project, yes, exactly.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
It's so interesting you you've done something very thing where
at the beginning of this was so like absurd, we're
being crazy, we're being crazy. And then when we were
like okay, now we're actually gonna ask you, like a
real question on your background, you went so actress saying
it was like really like I'm like, I feel like
I'm Zane Low all of a sudden, like it's.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
Well, you're not sucking my cock under the table, so
you're not saying Zane love Zaying Low would if you
put the worst album of all time in front of
Saying Low, He's gonna have tears cresting in his eyes.
It's gorgeous. Yeah, oh my god, I know he likes
Life of a show Girl. I know, I know he
loved Life of a Showgirl.

Speaker 4 (48:39):
He's literally it's like you can see the devil horns
peeking out of his skull.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
Crazy.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
It's well.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
I mean, celebrity journalism is like a really lost art
nowadays because it's all fans in front of the celebrity.
I mean, granted, it's like, would I want a Barbara
Walters and Diane Sawyer making the girls cry? No, I just.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
Walters. Barbara Walters and Dane Sawyer are both hacks, and
I want that on.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
It's a Nancy the.

Speaker 4 (49:08):
Celebrate Barbara Walters and Diane Sawyer.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
Are you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 1 (49:11):
They're Nancy Grace iterations. It's just the same thing, just blonde,
cunted side part high bank spray to the high heavens
and to what end? You know, literally no, to what end?
But like you know, celebrity journalism used to be that.
I mean, I feel like, you know, Sam's allegations. It's
like Charlie Rose had a nice thing, you know, like

(49:31):
the Black Boy. Charlie Rose was asking good questions. Yeah, yeah,
Larry King was asking good questions.

Speaker 4 (49:36):
Occasionally, I'm trying to think like who is a legitimately
good because it is one of those things that like,
like who's a good broadcast interviewer? Because I do think
there were actually good journalists, like if you read an
old like New York profile credibly.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
But on camera journalism, I mean, it's a hard thing
to it's a hard thing to capture. I've been interviewed
many for many different publications by many different people. Usually
the questions that they asked me are so. I saw
a tweet this morning on my commute here saying that
you're fat, nasty here to comment, and I'm like, like,
I'm eighteen, like sorry, Like when I was like much younger,

(50:15):
it was like people being like so, like, I actually
saw a blog post today that said that you are
racist and should be hunted with pitchforks. I kind of agree,
but I want you to tell me why you should live.

Speaker 4 (50:28):
And after that the trap, yes.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Exactly, And after that it's when I wake like literally
literally it's like, where's the fucking middle ground? Because the
people that are supposed to be on camera interviewing celebrities
are like either it's like with a an air of irony,
like I think of like you know, Adam with the
Adam Friedland Show. It's like that's a satire of like

(50:51):
Johnny Carson or Jack Parr, like all those old shows.
But he's doing it from the lens of like it's ironic.
It's a joke. You know, I'm gonna fuck with these people.
So either it's trolling or it's like making Billie Eilish
eat hot chips until she spits in a bucket.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
Well, this is the other thing.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
It's like, how many more celebrities are gonna lip sync
Real Housewives scenes until we're satisfied it's great.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
Vertical video has done something nasty to It's our.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
Fault that we don't stop clicking every time.

Speaker 4 (51:22):
I'm sorry the way what are they in the in
the Conde Nast basement where they do it's literally just
a line of celebrities. Their hands are tied in front
of them and they're saying, Glenn close, get in that chair.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
We're gonna pie you.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
Yes. No, literally, has the cherry, but also legacy media
is dying, and all these things are being consolidated. I
mean even just as of this week, teen Vogue is
being like all those writers are laid off. Teen Vogue
is being consolidated into just normal Vogue at Conde Nast.
It's like, so all these outlets that maybe did things
that were a little more interesting or culturally frictive or
skewed younger but not in a way that talk down
to young people are just getting sucked up into the

(51:56):
ether and then soon everything will be like one channel
that just does tiktoks. There's no more profiles, there's no
more TV interviews. It's just gonna be one TikTok network
that all of these like like five you know, millennial
reporters outsourced too, and they're just gonna be asking Malala like, hey, Malala,
like do you want to hit this j with me?

(52:16):
And like flick up Diva? And that's what's that's journalism.

Speaker 4 (52:20):
That's flick up Diva challenge.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
No, literally, Malala, can you like pull your pennies to
the side and twerk on camera for me to this trending.

Speaker 4 (52:27):
Audio entire and that entire multi channel, multi Channel conglomerate
is run by Alex.

Speaker 3 (52:34):
Cooper of No exactly exactly love that you do. Pull
your pants It's my.

Speaker 1 (52:39):
Favorite thing in the whole world. Pull your pennies, it
sid is my favorite. It's the funniest thing. It's the
funniest thing to ask somebody to do. Not take them off,
not take them off well because it's half hearted. What's
so funny to me is that it's like, we're not
going to ask you to like, you know, get them
around your shoes or angles.

Speaker 3 (52:57):
You can still wear your shoes.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
I don't have to fully come off.

Speaker 4 (53:03):
Literally, the entire Conde Nast video thing is leading to
Academy Award winning actresses doing the pull your panics to
the side challenge, like it's literally gonna be It's literally.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Gonna be Jayla pulling her panties, be like, I hate
my old persona. Here's my pussy just to the side.
I'm eating pizza, but I used to eat too much pizza.
I'm not tripping it Polly anymore. I'm not adorable. Adorable's over.
But here's my pussy in the side.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
And by the way, I had to access a lot
of trauma for this role.

Speaker 1 (53:32):
Yes, No, She's like, she's like on this press tour
for this movie Die Jennifer Lawrence.

Speaker 4 (53:37):
I love Lynn Ramsey showing.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
Ramsey, the excellent Ramsey. Who's somebody that literally you would.

Speaker 4 (53:43):
Love Morburn Color?

Speaker 1 (53:44):
Is that like one of your My first daughter will
be named Morvan. I'm I'm kidding. I will name my
first daughter after a movie wherein a girl steals her
suicide boyfriend's manuscript and then just sort of goes clubbing,
goes around. It's one of those movies where somebody just
goes around.

Speaker 4 (53:58):
Amazing.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
Love that love a movie that's like almost to pic arasque,
but she's not really traveling.

Speaker 4 (54:03):
I would be more color for Halloween. That'd be a
great costume for just.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
Me, a ponytail. Ponytail. Everybody's like, who are you. I'm like,
I'm Morvering Calor.

Speaker 4 (54:10):
Yeah, I'm just kind of like sort of on.

Speaker 2 (54:12):
Drugs and Halloween.

Speaker 1 (54:13):
I went as Best from Breaking the Waves and everybody's like,
who are you sure? I was like, I'm Best from
Lars Bunchers Breaking the Waves and they're like, are you
speaking Vietnamese right now? Like, no, it's all English. Actually,
it's hard out here for a pimp, I'll say, do.

Speaker 4 (54:31):
We want to even like straight? Yeah, So you're catching
us in a sort of a weird time because Samini,
if you don't mind me saying that, we're sort of
being like, how much do we want to keep doing
all our segments and how much you want to keep
just like one segment and then a straight topic. But
like we've been enjoying so much like gabbing with people,

(54:53):
and it feels like we're cutting the momentum when we're like,
and now our first segment, right, and so we're kind
of like.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
Well, you'll probably have to cut out so much.

Speaker 4 (55:01):
Of this do I have straight?

Speaker 3 (55:02):
Shoot me too?

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Episode will be thirty minutes either way, since you'll have
to cut out my whole thing where I called Italians
rapists and like just all of Oh.

Speaker 4 (55:09):
No, that's the that's the real, Okay, that's going viral
on tiktoks.

Speaker 3 (55:14):
We're doing our first segment. It's called Street Shooters, and
in this segment, we're going to ask you a series
of rapid fire questions. Is basically this thing or this
other thing. The only rule is you can't ask a
single fle up question or we will scream at you.

Speaker 4 (55:23):
Okay, ready.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
We will make it so you're unemployed for the rest
of your life.

Speaker 4 (55:26):
Being radicalized online or being authorized to commit a crime.

Speaker 1 (55:31):
Authorized to commit a crime, the.

Speaker 3 (55:33):
Secret life of Walter Mitty or the Secret lives of Mormon.

Speaker 4 (55:35):
Wives, sialized of Mormon Wives, sending a meme on Slack,
or loving the team at Hacks.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
Loving the team at hacks.

Speaker 3 (55:42):
Cast me a New York state of mind or a
true dorc on love is.

Speaker 4 (55:46):
Blind, a New York state of mind, living out or getting.

Speaker 1 (55:49):
Gout Living out, I got catt eye glasses, living out, rip.

Speaker 3 (55:54):
Dick Cheney or pee on me, Miss Janny. That's Alison Janney.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
Yeah, ye on me, Miss Janny. She's in the case
the top five. Yeah, that's Allison's in the top five.

Speaker 4 (56:05):
We need to Yeah, okay, I want to swing from
the chandelier. Sorry, yes, I want to swing from the chandelier.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
Or I have a thing for that engineer, swing from
the chandelier.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
Meeting on Tinder or screaming you center you sir, Wow,
beautiful word.

Speaker 4 (56:21):
We rank our guest performance on a scale of zero
to one thousand doves. That is named after the Lady
Gaga song one thousand Doves from the album Chromatica.

Speaker 2 (56:28):
And I am going to.

Speaker 4 (56:30):
Say that Ivy gets eight sixty nine.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
I think that's correct.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
That's high. That's like a bee, right, that's like a US.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
Oh well yeah, you answered with a lot of confidence and speed.
You recognized it. It was a fast segment. You said, let's
move on.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
Yeah, you're like, I did have a few asides and
for that, I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (56:50):
But no, no, no, you did a really good job. Okay, okay,
well we have approximately thirty five seconds. So what is
your straight topic and what's straight about it?

Speaker 1 (56:57):
My straight topic is being straight back acting hella d L.
So that's my straight topic. It's when guys act mad
coy when it comes to pussy dude, like we're not,
you know, fucking each other in the button the Ramble
in nineteen eighty, like, come on, let's let's get serious,

(57:17):
like when straight when straight guys do a sneaky link
type of thing, when straight guys like pocket pussy or
like hide a bitch.

Speaker 4 (57:24):
It's so it's part of why people are mad at
you because you speak like this sometimes.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
Yeah sure, okay, I guess so, yeah, sure, you know
when straight guys do When straight guys act like DL
gay guys sure.

Speaker 3 (57:39):
Like about high women hiding their relationships with women, yes,
keeping them secretly.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
Because it's like you have what are Who's gonna who's
gonna kill you, who's gonna hurt you, who's gonna penalize you,
who will criminalize you for just popping out with a
bit dare dare to pop out with the female. You know,
it's like when guys act like I can't let my
like when guys are like I can't let my wife
know I'm gay, It's like, well, you're not gay and

(58:04):
you don't have a wife. This is we met on hinge.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
You know you're saying that.

Speaker 4 (58:10):
I would say it's like the the famous habits of
noncommittal men. Just like this lack of commitment actually has
the same and as.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
Being DL gay.

Speaker 4 (58:21):
This is genius, Like it really is true. It's like
guys that either don't want to commit or are sort
of like soft half lying to three women, not fully lying.
They're not cheating, but they're kind of like concealing, concealing
and not being fully honest. That is the same behavior
as someone who is like has a wife and is

(58:41):
going and getting absolutely fucked.

Speaker 3 (58:43):
Yes, yes, is there anything sort of erotic and hot
about being kept a secret, like not to me, not
to me.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
And you know why because it's happened to me literally
in almost every relationship I've ever been in, probably because
I talk the way that I do and I'm also
like Loki famous, and so it's like popping out with
me at your friend's birthday party. It's like bringing chuck
e Cheese to Kiev. It's crazy. So it's just like, well,
like why is the cartoon in the scary place? You know?

Speaker 4 (59:11):
So you're saying, but do you not think that they
also are like kind of gagged that they're bringing the
cartoon to this.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
You need a straight guy who has only gay guy friends.

Speaker 4 (59:20):
You need a straight guy that's standing you in a
sort of Lady Gaga way. And it's like this is
the this is Ivy Woke from Anora.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
The Dynamics and all of my relationships with men and
the one woman that I had a relationship with where
basically they idolized me and it was like it was
diva worship, but in a way that brought them great
shame because then they realized they would never be able
to match my starf Okay, here's.

Speaker 4 (59:41):
What it is. It's diva worship, but the diva is
Nicki Minaj, so they're like.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
Yes, sort of embarrassing.

Speaker 4 (59:46):
It's sort of like obviously I'm a barb, like I
love Nicki Minaj, but yes, I don't agree with like
what you just said on Twitter about COVID.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (59:53):
No, and the baggage of that is actually like stopping
me from just going to this house.

Speaker 1 (59:59):
Yes, no, exactly. It's it's diva worship that sort of
brings shame upon your family.

Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
Problem.

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
That's really it's.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
Problematic diva worship. It's like if Joy Behar is your queen,
you know, and it's kind of like everybody's like, why
is Joy Bayhart or your queen? Yeah, and you have
to be like, I like fucking her, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
That's kind of the classic dynamic that I'm in. And
it's just it's so it's so trite and born. Well,
I have to ask it's still in Ga Ga Nacho's
and Valor because it's like gig guys should be the
only ones. I mean, I don't think GI guys should
be DL because I think gig guy should be gay. Yeah,
that's maybe really brave for me to say but I
think gig I should be allowed to be gay.

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
I think they can should be able to choose.

Speaker 4 (01:00:39):
Sam likes that when they're DL.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
Oh yeah, no.

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
Let's close it. So you need to go to like Minnesota,
and then you open an app and everyone is like
hidden in secret. I'm like, now there's some mystery.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
Right, but I don't like mystery. I'm a straight shooter.
Y'all hear me like this, like the segment, y'all hear
me talking today, It's like I can't you know, I
can't conceal, I can't be conceala frey or I can't
feign a casualness.

Speaker 4 (01:01:04):
And I think the difference between being embarrassed as a
straight guy about your girlfriend and being embarrassed about being
gay is like a DL gay guy has self hatred, yes,
whereas a sort of fuck boy that's embarrassed of you
is a misogynist, like is specifically actually angry that you

(01:01:25):
have personality? Yes, So that's different. So it is much
harder for you to fetishize that and be like, damn,
I love that this guy is embarrassed at whereas for Sam,
it's like damn, I love that this guy is like
being dirty, right, now he's bad.

Speaker 1 (01:01:38):
Yeah, there's nothing. Really, there's really no way to romanticize
or fetishize or skew concealing a woman who has too
much personality in a morney way but too okay.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
Is it more likely that like the fucked up bad
boy wants to keep you a secret, or like the
really Norman boy who's like sweet.

Speaker 1 (01:01:54):
It's usually like, uh, I feel like classically, I've been
with people who think that they have a reputation to
uphold more than they actually do. Like the guy that
I lost my virginity. The guy that I lost my
virginity to was literally straight up acting like he was
only a few years older than me. Like it was
hardly an age gap in the gay community. It would
be like we were the same age, you know, but
straight people sort of view things on different of course,

(01:02:17):
you know, the great things on a different group brit Yes,
but you know, he had nothing. He had he was
an after school program tutor and he had like family money,
and he was like he had not he had no
you know, esteemed to uphold or maintain. And he was
straight up looking at me being like if this gets out,
I'm cooked, and it's like cooked. Where at Kuman where

(01:02:40):
you volunteer three times a week. Like he didn't actually
work at Kuma. It was a it was a Kumon analog.

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
But you know it's like shit, didn't even a proper.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
No he taught or Kuman's for math. But you know,
I'm cutting around it, but I guess now I'm not anyway.
So it's like, you know, you have nothing, there's no
pressure on you. Nobody's like breathing down your neck.

Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
To well, this is something that straight guys don't deal
with often, Like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
A gay guys, it's very novel for them. Yeah, so
they're frightened immediately, and like.

Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
You've you know, dealt with reputation shatter and like understanding
how people perceive you in a different way.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
Straight guys don't really, they don't ever deal with that
because straight guys usually are perceived Like I've been thinking
a lot about how straight men have so much more
latitude in terms of what they can say and do,
Like the fact that and God, love him, love this man.
But the fact that Starvarsakias is now being heralded as
like the face of the new left, and like who's

(01:03:36):
gonna save culture and leftist politics? And I somebody who
has said not even as bad as things that he
said or chuckled at in his day, and have only
been in this industry for a fraction of the amount
of years that he has am still being called literally
hitler every day on the Internet. Sorry, that's crazy, but
that's because he is being consumed by other heterosexual men

(01:03:59):
who are a lot more forgiving. Women and queer people
hold each other to uh the most inflexible, restrictive standards.
That makes it impossible for us to really be in
community with each other or make art with and about
each other because we are so confined to each other's
expectations of like the world that we wish we could see.

Speaker 2 (01:04:21):
And oh we internalize the certainly we are.

Speaker 4 (01:04:25):
Basically we all have multiple personality disorder and each personality
is a different person that's different. Credit comments, Yeah exactly,
are the you have to kill the comment section within?

Speaker 1 (01:04:38):
Yes exactly, And I have. And it's like people act
like I'm fucking Amelia Earhart getting on the plane, like girl,
don't do it, and it's like I'm actually just living
my truth. If I drown, that's fine. You know. I
have had a lot of men like older than me
in comedy, tell me, like, you know, when I was
your age, I used to post stuff like that, and
now I don't do it. And it's like, well, all
those tweets of yours are still up and nobody's you know,

(01:04:59):
baton and el, nobody's mad at you. So I don't know,
like why you're telling me I shouldn't be doing it anymore.
It's like, I, you know, I've reaped the consequences more
than you have, and actually I've chosen to be fine.
I've chosen to overcome the hurdle of public scrutiny and
just lean into who I actually am and the right
people will find it. But yeah, I mean I remember

(01:05:21):
when I first started comedy. This is sort of an aside,
but it's it's related. When I first started comedy, I
had a lot of men older than me telling me
things like, you know, like here's like a tip for
something that you should do right try to make the
audience like get on your side and be comfortable with
you right away. So like don't go into like your
more sort of edgy or like crass material right up

(01:05:43):
up top, just like say something that will comfort the audience.
Self deprecating whatever, so that they're on your side. And
it's like, hey, for a man, that's a novel idea,
the idea of having to walk into a room and
being like, how do I make people comfortable so that
they listen to me? That For a men, we're revealing
this to me, like they just take in the fucking
stored out of the stone, you know. They were like

(01:06:04):
I found it, Like that's what being a woman is
every single day, and they were telling coming up to me,
telling me that, like that's what I should be adopting,
as if it was some like novel new experience or
way to frame things. And it's like that's what women
are taught every single day because we have so much
less latitude for what we can get away with. Men

(01:06:25):
are so new to these ideas of like shame or
like having to make people comfortable or whatever. That to
them it just blows their mind. And it's like I
have experienced, you know, scorn and fear and hatred and
all these things, and it's like in my work and
in my life, I am actually trying to like do
the diametric opposite and like make people uncomfortable. It's not

(01:06:47):
on I don't try to alienate people and make people uncomfortable.
But it's like sometimes, sure, but also I think that's
like interesting because I think women have never really been
able to get away with that. In the most interesting
women are people who are still here and still in
the zeitgeist even if they behaved that way, And so
why can't I also do that? But men, you know,

(01:07:08):
our straight men are new to these ideas of like
shame and scorn and feeling eyes on the backs of
their heads, and it's like, that's what moving through the
world as a woman is every single day, and so
I don't want to adhere to any of that. And
so when straight guys act like Hella d'l it's like,
what do you have to fear? What do you have
to fear? What do you have to fear that women

(01:07:30):
have not been fearing for centuries since a pussy formed
on fucking like you know, the Neanderthals, since a cutthole
opened on a Neanderthal, women have had fear and eyes,
you know, and you guys are just fucking new to this,
And it's like, I'm true to this.

Speaker 3 (01:07:45):
I hope the reveal is that like, ten years from now,
every guy you've ever dated comes out of the closet
and they just worried.

Speaker 1 (01:07:49):
Yeah, they just want here's the thing, here's what's really upsetting, right, Okay.
I went on a date that I thought was an
amazing date earlier this year with a guy who revealed
to me that he had had sex with more men
than he had women. And then he rejected me, and
so I sort of, you know, rationalize the babying, like, well,
he's gay and he's finding his truth. Well, now he's
got a girlfriend, so he wasn't gay. I just have

(01:08:11):
a really bad personality.

Speaker 4 (01:08:12):
That's that's not true.

Speaker 1 (01:08:14):
I'm just I'm abrasive, you know, to a certain kind
of subsect of men who present as straight, you know,
to his credit, present as straight and move through the
public life as straight. I have maybe an abrasive personality
that they perceive as something that could like shatter the
veneer or like take it all down.

Speaker 3 (01:08:35):
Maybe if he were just a little gayer, it would
have worked, because Sandy right exactly, but he.

Speaker 1 (01:08:41):
Was just it was just right down the middle in
a way where his bisexuality sort of air on the
side of shameful of ivy wool, whereas it should the
bisexuality should err on the side of davia worship, kissing
my feet, bringing me a hot towel so I can
do my jokes, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:08:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:08:56):
Wow, And that's a tricky balance to balance. It's a
tricky balance. Yeah, And so that's basically the TLDR of everything.
Is that whole polemic that I just went on. That
was the most verbose anybody's ever been on your show.
I'm sure, but yeah, you give me a hot I
gets really danging. No, this is I'm completely unclippable. The
reason that I don't post, like the reason that I

(01:09:17):
don't post stand up clips is because all of my
jokes are three minutes long. There's no way to edit
around it. To me, everything is I wish I.

Speaker 3 (01:09:23):
Had announce of that. Everything I say is like ten seconds,
ten seconds, ten seconds. I'm like blown away by the
soul of wit.

Speaker 1 (01:09:30):
I just don't have that. That's good, it's a good
thing to have. I just don't possess it, like I've
never spoken to my life.

Speaker 3 (01:09:36):
No.

Speaker 4 (01:09:37):
No, I think what you're doing is radical because you
are going against the clipification of everything, like you're doing
anti capitalist comedy, and that you're doing comedy that.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
Has and I should have been in that sketch group.

Speaker 2 (01:09:46):
I should have been in that sketch group so that
so that we could have all I mean, you know
what ended up happening.

Speaker 4 (01:09:50):
They tried to unionize.

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
Yeah, oh, we're unionizing a sketch group. Great battle work, Not.

Speaker 3 (01:10:03):
Dude, that's awesome.

Speaker 4 (01:10:06):
No, I think we need to we need to create
our own sketch group. And it's all forty five minute sketches,
that is most that are mostly monologue free association.

Speaker 1 (01:10:14):
That's my dream. I like pitch to sket showed to
Adult Swim and they like didn't take it. And that
was probably because in the meeting, I was like so
hour long episodes and they.

Speaker 2 (01:10:22):
Were like and they were like all long episodes, one sketch.

Speaker 4 (01:10:25):
One person.

Speaker 1 (01:10:26):
So literally I was like feature film every week and
they were like, usually our stuff is like eleven minutes.
And I was like, okay, what if you broadened that.
I'm just challenging everybody to broaden their horizons.

Speaker 3 (01:10:37):
Really, at the end of the day, you want greatness, Yeah?
Is that so much? Ask?

Speaker 1 (01:10:40):
Like Timothy Shallamy said on the sag Award stage, I
want great Ivy.

Speaker 4 (01:10:45):
I just want to say, as your fathers were so
proud of you. We're so proud of you, and we
think that you are on the correct track and don't
let anyone make you doubt yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:10:55):
Thanks ever ever, love you guys.

Speaker 4 (01:10:58):
And we can't wait to see if I had legs
that kick you.

Speaker 1 (01:11:01):
It's really good. It's really everyone I know delicious. Roseburne
is so incredible honestly, as if Roseburn did McCarthy.

Speaker 4 (01:11:12):
Also, but if roseburn didn't also have dramatic chops, she
would just be known as like a Julia Louis Dreyfus level.

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
To me, incredible and she's very funny in the movie.
The movie is very dark and sad and like dour,
but everything with no I didn't shoot anything with Conan.
I shot with asap Rocky, who's such a mench and
gorgeous and so kind and loves filming, loves independent cinema,
loves watching everything happen in a really charming He's the

(01:11:40):
real deal, like truly as charming and handsome and kind
and generous in real life as he is like in
his public life. He's great. He's so awesome. Rosebyurne a
fucking doll, just like literally amazing, like Pooky for real,
like deserves to like be heralded in the high heavens,
like she is Olympus. To me, that's Queen. That's really Queen.

(01:12:02):
The movie is really good. If I had like sidekick,
movie is really good.

Speaker 2 (01:12:05):
English Teacher Teacher on Hulu.

Speaker 1 (01:12:07):
I'm in episodes one and seven. See you how they
don't put me in all ten?

Speaker 3 (01:12:10):
Oh really, I will see. Your presence is so strong
it feels like you're never.

Speaker 4 (01:12:13):
We're only in two.

Speaker 1 (01:12:14):
Yeah. To me, you're like, I know, well, because when
it comes to a sitcom, you give me a script,
I'm clippable.

Speaker 3 (01:12:21):
Yeah, No, you were.

Speaker 4 (01:12:26):
Is your that's like your panic in Central Park?

Speaker 1 (01:12:29):
Yeah, thinks that's really No.

Speaker 4 (01:12:33):
Seven, I said it stars.

Speaker 3 (01:12:34):
No, that was really amazing? Was that?

Speaker 2 (01:12:36):
Did you improv Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:12:38):
Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:39):
They let me improvise a lot. I mean last season
they would just roll the camera on me for like
thirty minutes and be like, okay, now we're gonna do
a take where Ivy just says anything. So a lot
of my lines are improvised, like the you were in
the gay club, no mask on ye the gay club,
the masko on yeh, the line last season where I'm
like sir I'm posting ads on back page because I'm

(01:13:00):
gonna have to hit the corner. Stories are so bad
that of course. Also his backpage does not exist anymore
and hasn't for like ten years.

Speaker 4 (01:13:09):
And it's like I, of course, and it would exactly
and it wouldn't be a reference a high school student.

Speaker 1 (01:13:13):
Would you, right, It's just an Ivy Woolf reference. I'm like, damn,
I'm posting ads on back page.

Speaker 4 (01:13:18):
Yeah my god, damn.

Speaker 3 (01:13:19):
Okay, Well, are you in to our final set?

Speaker 4 (01:13:21):
Yeah, let's do fine, there's a final set.

Speaker 3 (01:13:23):
There's a final set. Our final segment is called shout outs.
Watch the grand straight tradition of the radio shout out,
shouting out anything we enjoy. People place those things ideas
George and I will go first.

Speaker 1 (01:13:32):
Yeah, you guys go first. Anything example, I can go, yeah,
go for it.

Speaker 4 (01:13:36):
What's up Centophile's letterbox users, anyone out there with a
wild opinion about a film? I want to give a
shout out to young Mark Ruffalo. This is a very
kind of like DURP DRP. I'm a blogger, take like
to be like Mark Ruffalo is actually kind of hot
when he was young. But I recently rewatched you can
count on me the kind of fun or good movie
which I hadn't seen since I was a child.

Speaker 1 (01:13:58):
I've heard it. That was crazy you so.

Speaker 3 (01:14:07):
We have to leave that.

Speaker 4 (01:14:09):
No, we're leaving that we can, we can, we can
cut the actual part, but we're leaving, and you saying
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 3 (01:14:18):
No, Listen.

Speaker 4 (01:14:19):
All I wanted to say is like, I don't wow, wow, insane.

Speaker 1 (01:14:24):
Wow, that's never happened.

Speaker 4 (01:14:27):
That was improved, That was not scripted. Everything else you
said so far was.

Speaker 3 (01:14:31):
In the script.

Speaker 1 (01:14:31):
That's like, I was like, that was really random for me,
Like that was me genuinely being just random and out
of care. I like that you're so comfortable with us
though that I didn't even like it was truly like
it just flew.

Speaker 4 (01:14:45):
I honestly think it was very like you can exhale now, Simon,
Like you've been so focused on telling your story from
love Simon, you can focus on telling you know, you've
been so focused on telling your story during this whole episode,
and then finally you're like, oh my god, I can relax.

Speaker 3 (01:14:59):
Finally it's all out there.

Speaker 1 (01:15:00):
It's so hot in here.

Speaker 4 (01:15:04):
Listen. All I wanted to say is that Mark Ruffalo
is hot. There's really nothing. I mean, I can I
can keep going, no you, but don't you think that
there's I'm literally like, and this is just a question
for everyone out there.

Speaker 2 (01:15:15):
What category of man is Mark Ruffalo? And who are
who in Hollywood like looks and feels like him?

Speaker 1 (01:15:21):
I was just sort of unique an interview with him
where he's talking about like all of the movies he's
ever made. Yeah, in promotion of like the new show
that he's on, and he talks about like a hundred
movies on it. And I find him to be very
cute and charming because he's like kind of thick and gruff,
but he's also is really soft spoken and like kind
of twitchy. Yeah, and yeah, there is really nobody with

(01:15:41):
his like even when.

Speaker 2 (01:15:43):
He was young.

Speaker 4 (01:15:43):
Obviously he's very objectively hot, but he's hot in a
way that not all. I guess the only comp I
could draw is like, you know, when Dustin Hoffman was young,
he wasn't like hunky, he was like there was something different.
But I don't know, like, can you think of anyone
who has the vibe of a Mark Ruffalo? Not a
one is strange? I keep wanting to say, Eric Bana,

(01:16:03):
but that's because they both played the Hulk, right. Anyway,
that's mine.

Speaker 3 (01:16:07):
Okay, I'll go quickly, what's up press and perverts? I
want to give a huge shout out and a very
I'll say this practical shout out to TSA pre check.
You know, I have been one of these people that's like,
if I can't do it the plane way, I don't
want to do it at all. I want the common experience.
I don't want a specialty experience. And then my dear

(01:16:29):
friend George was like, you should really do this if
we're going to be traveling together. And it works so well,
you think, do you think who cares what's waiting in
a line? Then you get this pre check and your
life is so easy. Every time I go to the airport,
I feel like I'm you know, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Why
I'm being treated like royal.

Speaker 4 (01:16:47):
To the greats?

Speaker 2 (01:16:48):
I am?

Speaker 3 (01:16:49):
I am like sliding right through. Everyone is kissing my
feet and no one is the way, which have shoes on,
and no one is stopping me and take laptop out
lap out the line. Three people belong. You should get it.

Speaker 4 (01:17:03):
I did you know you're not the mom would interview.

Speaker 3 (01:17:07):
You have to give an interview, like I've not been
by the way, oh yeah, And one of these is
you and it's a picture of you and the mom
and then you point at you. You go, I'm Sam
and they're like you pass.

Speaker 4 (01:17:16):
Yeah, you give your fake ID. That's your photo from
your self tape right, and the like are.

Speaker 1 (01:17:20):
You been long? And like, I'm actually Ivy. It's a
different last name.

Speaker 3 (01:17:24):
So shout out to TSA pre check sometime's being practical
as good.

Speaker 1 (01:17:27):
Whoop wow wow, Okay. I would like to give a
shout out to the meal that I've been eating every
single day, which is yawki with olive oil and salt
and pepper. Eating that every single day for the past
like three weeks. It's really good. I ordered the naki

(01:17:49):
that I like in a big box online because I
have crazy like food scarcity hustle grinds at mindset and
so I'm always afraid that food is just going to disappear.
So I buy things in bulk and massive boxes like
I'm a Costco mom or a Doomstate prepper and so
who wait, that's good. Write that down. That's a new

(01:18:10):
character for me. So I bought all this yonk and
now I have like twelve containers of it in my fridge.
Last night I made the mistake of eating eight hundred
calories of it in one sitting, and I couldn't move
or walk, and I felt like I was gonna die.
But it's really delicious and it's just clutch. Like I
just I love dinner. I'm really I'm going I'm in

(01:18:35):
a dinner phase in my life right now. I kind
of like I only eat the same things over and
over again. Like pretty much all I eat is potato
based products and bee for pork, and that's all I eat.
And then I eat like sweets and candy and that's it.

Speaker 4 (01:18:53):
It's a pretty varied yeah, pretty very vegetables.

Speaker 1 (01:18:56):
I've been doing apples, so actually shout out to Apple.
Get into apples. I have like gastroparicis, so my stomach
is paralyzed. And so I was not eating raw fruits
and vegetables for like many years because I was like
not digesting them well and I would just like throw
up apple skins. And so I was not eating apples
for many years of my life. And then the other

(01:19:18):
day I was like, what it would happen if I
just ate an apple, and now I've been eating multiple
apples a day, and honestly I feel like, actually like
I'm better. So shout out to that.

Speaker 3 (01:19:27):
Oh wow, well this has been a real treat. Thank
you for doing the pod.

Speaker 1 (01:19:31):
I'm so sorry that I farted in your office.

Speaker 4 (01:19:36):
This is the most punk rock episode with that was wild.

Speaker 3 (01:19:39):
I'm actually surprised no one's parted.

Speaker 4 (01:19:40):
Before well that we know of.

Speaker 1 (01:19:43):
Adam's a farterer.

Speaker 3 (01:19:44):
Is he interesting?

Speaker 4 (01:19:46):
I can't. I don't think he farted when he was
not audible, not audibly but you know, much like you, uh,
not clippable in the sense that he does tell some
seventeen minute stories.

Speaker 1 (01:19:56):
Yes, Adam, he's also he's Adam. But Adam tak like
Adam talks like Bill Maher, where Bill Maher is always like,
you know, one time I saw Teddy Kennedy at the
Jet Blu terminal, sure part airport. It was a cold day,
and like that's how Adam talks. Every Adam story is
like once upon a time I saw the guy from

(01:20:18):
Different Strokes at a Costco. Yeah, it was chilly, the
breeze was blowing, and then two hours later you're like, well,
my Crane's here.

Speaker 3 (01:20:28):
I got to yeah, well, not that we should talk
to Adam.

Speaker 1 (01:20:32):
No, I love that.

Speaker 4 (01:20:33):
My desire for his approval is like humiliating. No, it
reminds me of being gay in high school and like
wanting the pool.

Speaker 3 (01:20:39):
Well, people did comment that there was a chemistry between
you two.

Speaker 2 (01:20:42):
They actually said, I really felt it in that episode.
I think there was a sexual tension between Adam and me,
and I'm excited to explore it for re spectacled Kings.

Speaker 4 (01:20:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:20:51):
Yeah, I was kind of ignored the whole time, but
you were not ignored too, busy eye fucking each other
and listen to my words.

Speaker 1 (01:20:59):
He likes he likes a Mediterranean vibe. I know Italian
and you're Greek.

Speaker 4 (01:21:04):
We want to know more about his fiance.

Speaker 1 (01:21:06):
Nice girl here, beautiful beautiful woman, Yeah, beautiful one.

Speaker 3 (01:21:10):
Okay, we have to wrap up, all right, Okay, bye
bye bye podcast and now want more?

Speaker 2 (01:21:17):
Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month,
discord access and more by heading to patreon dot com.
Slash Stradio Lab.

Speaker 3 (01:21:26):
And for all our visual earners, free full length video
episodes are available on our YouTube Now get back to work.
Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Speaker 2 (01:21:36):
Created and hosted by George Severis and Sam Taggart.

Speaker 3 (01:21:39):
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonni and Olivia Aguilar.
Co produced by by Wang, edited and engineered by Adam Avolos.
Artwork by Michael Failes and Matt Grugg. Theme music by
Ben Kling

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