StraightioLab Book Club: Murder on Sex Island w/ Jo Firestone

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Okay, Joe, start the podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Did you come prepared or not? No?

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Listen, listen, listen.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
I we're doing this as a favorite and I know that.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Okay, I'm going to send you something after Okay, don't
do you want us to die? I know exactly what
I'm getting for both of you.

Speaker 4 (00:38):
Don't do that, Joe, like you're getting a get too
many gifts for people.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Okay, I've never gotten at say.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
I've given Sam eighteen gifts and each one he's like thanks.

Speaker 4 (00:49):
Sometimes I'm like, you don't need to give me a gift.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (00:52):
I do think Sam, if I may please, I could
see Sam being more nervous about how to respond to
a gift, then he is happy about receiving it, even
if it's like the dream gift, the.

Speaker 4 (01:07):
Stress outweighs the gift's value.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
I will say, you have a I think it's funny
because in fact, you follow social norms perfectly, and no
one is ever like wow, no one's ever like Sam's rude.
Sam didn't do something correctly, and yet you have the
fear of someone who does has never actually heard of
a social norm.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
Well, the fear is what makes you act correctly.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
That's true.

Speaker 4 (01:28):
If you don't have fear, you're going to act out.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Well, Sam told me a very important story about his
formative years.

Speaker 4 (01:33):
What is it? Wait?

Speaker 2 (01:34):
What was that? Oh? Nothing, Just remind me it's.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
Just about your formative years.

Speaker 4 (01:39):
Tell me about my formative years. Remind me, Yeah, tell us, Joe.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
Okay, So basically Sam was young once uh.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
And drag me Okay, not anymore.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
Damn brought me.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
Sam, whatever, I'm still twenty years older than you.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Okay, So I'm not sure. Seventieth birthday, you look amazing.
You look amazing.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
I swear every time I say hey, Sam, how old
are you? He goes twenty six and I'm like, that's crazy.
I just turned forty and I don't say that, Joe.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
I don't say that my age.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
You stay twenty six.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
Thank you, And I do feel emotion emotionally twenty six.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Yeah, that's where you stay.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Well, we were saying Sam and I are currently on
tour together doing stand up comedy and not podcasting for
anyone wondering good and which, by the way, I actually
want to come back to this because Sam said you
told him comedy is over. Sam, Sam, Joe, Joe, we
brought you in here to sort of pretend we were
going to talk about your book.

Speaker 4 (02:38):
I'm here to expose you.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
It almost I don't understand. I really, I really was trying.
I was trying all week. I was like, I'm going
to be normal today.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
You told Sam.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
I know, I know, I have a text message that
says I'm not going to be normal on Friday.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
But I try to be normal.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Well how do you It hadn't started yet. How did
you try?

Speaker 3 (02:58):
Because I was kind of like, be normal, be normal? Yeah,
because sometimes Sam and I sometimes basically what happens. Basically
it started off normal, just like you and me. Yeah,
I they were normal, and then and then basically what
happens something over the course of the last two years.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah, something. Oh oh, you mean like I thought you
were saying you and me are normal currently and I'm like, well,
we're actually doing bits, but you mean like generally as friends, Yeah,
is generally speaking, we are normal? Yeah, Sam and I.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
I don't know what happened, but over the last two
years something shifted permanently where if we are going to
interact normal, we have to say it.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
This is so one sided. I feel so normal all
the time. I would say Joe. For example, Joe and
I went out to a gorgeous dinner with a dear friend,
and Joe kept saying, let's be normal tonight. Can we
just be normal tonight? And I said, one hundred percent,
let's be normal. We're walking back and Josie's a cactus

(04:02):
and goes, what would happen if I flipped upside down
and got stuck on this cactus? She says, and then
I start peeing on myself, And then I'm peeing and
I'm on this cactus. Then what happens? And I'm like, okay,
I'm laughing, Joe, that's a crazy thing to say.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
No, okay, just a few things off the bat. First
of all, cacti seem to be a real theme with you,
because I noticed there was, in fact a cactus cactus
centric injury in this very book that you are here
to promote.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Murder bringing it to the promotion.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yes, yeah, do you think you?

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (04:35):
You said that disgusting thing about the cactus to Sam
in order to sort of incept him into inviting you
to be a guest on our podcasting about your book
on our inaugural Straighter Lab Book Club.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
George, I'm not I said, please do Maggie Smith, and
you like didn't listen to me.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
Head? Does she have a book out?

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Is she.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
For that to be your go to go to book
named guest?

Speaker 4 (05:02):
Wait, Joe, this is crazy because at our show in Chicago,
I brought up Maggie Smith on stage. That's true, like
completely randomly, we got Maggie Smith on the brain.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
So because so do we have the same dream once?
That is insane? First of all. Second of all, okay,
second of all, to close the loop on Sam being
twenty six, So I was gonna say, is that.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
You're twenty seven?

Speaker 2 (05:23):
I'm twenty seven. No, Dragon, No, I'm perpetually fifty five,
and Sam is perpetually twenty six. And yet Sam is
actually more mature and responsible than me. Really, yes, we
meet in the middle, We meet in the but Sam,
I threw a line in Sam's current material current half

(05:44):
hour for anyone out there listening is producing comedy specials,
is that it's about his inner child? Are you yea?

Speaker 3 (05:53):
And are you doing any jokes at in with the
Bang Bang with the Bang Bang?

Speaker 2 (05:57):
The comedy Bangang is a different pot. This is Tradio Lab.
We're owned by Will Ferrell's big money players exclusive deal
with iHeart and we are so thrilled to have you
on for our inaugural book Club podcast starts now become
Maggie Smith.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
Author of Murder on Sex Island. What's the bang Bang?

Speaker 3 (06:18):
You know you do this thing where you do the
bang bang with your foot? Me?

Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah, you mean that that one show when I stomped
really loud.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yeah, that was funny.

Speaker 4 (06:27):
That was funny, but I didn't know it was going
to bang bang. I was wearing boots that I don't normally.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Wear on stage. You don't do that again, that was
less of a part of his material, more something he
did once.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
I stomped on the stage and it was so loud,
and I went oh, and I was scared because it
was so loud, and everyone else acted crazy because it
was really loud, itzy boots on stage.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
I don't wear boots on stage. The boots in the show.

Speaker 4 (06:51):
You were talking about my formative years, Yeah, what's Oh?

Speaker 3 (06:54):
So basically I found out that Sam had just switched
schools a lot.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
I do know that. And Sam stayed cool. That's not true. No, No,
Sam stayed cool at I know more than you do.
And every school, every.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
School George is thinking of when I moved to Southern Virginia.
I was bullied for at the beginning, but then I
did eventually end cool there. So I don't know if that.
I think you're both right.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
Sam was bullied by Jerem O Harris. Did you know that? No,
you didn't know that.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
Oh, that's wonderful.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Why Jeremy is famous. Sam and Jeremy went to high
school together. Jeremy bullied Sam because he was gay. I'm
not making any of this up. And then Jeremy came
on this very podcast and talked about it in the
thick of COVID. Whoa on zoom on zoom. Wow.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
Did Jeremy apologize?

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yes, yeah, it was very sweet. Whoa it was actually
really lovely. Yes, it was lovely.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
How many times did you get that experience? Were you bullied?

Speaker 4 (08:01):
No?

Speaker 2 (08:02):
You know I wasn't bullied, but I also wasn't popular.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
I don't believe it. I don't believe it.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
I would say, Okay. When I was in New Jersey,
I was rising in the ranks and huge, and I
was like, if I see her one more year, I
would never be popular with the boys, but I could
find a way to be like the one gay guy
that the girls can fight in. I needed one more
year and then my family moved back to Greece and

(08:33):
then it was over. And then not just that, then
I moved schools in Greece. I moved schools again, so
it was like two schools. Suddenly I'm joining to join
a high school in tenth grade. You're not going to
catch up and to be that's what I did. Yeah,
but imagine also being from a different country.

Speaker 4 (08:51):
Okay, some would say the Midwest is a different country
than in southern Virginia. But some people would get if
they would go from the Midwest to southern Virginia, go,
I feel like I'm in a different country.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
This place is so different. What was the biggest culture shock,
the accents? Anything else?

Speaker 4 (09:14):
No, nothing else, pretty much. Okay, Joe, have you ever
experienced bullying?

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah? Yeah I have.

Speaker 4 (09:25):
Okay, and tell us more, tell us about that.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
Okay, So starting from when I was very young, Okay,
I was as a child, I was probably two feet
tall until I turned we.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Were all at one point two feet tall, that's true.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
But puberty really got me to the three feet to
four feet Oh really, Okay. I was always very like
I remember sometimes climbing up the stairs with my hands.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
You rock. What do you mean you short enough that
you were shorter than a single stare and you had
to pull yourself up with two arms. Oh, you have
such strong back muscles.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Oh, please leave my back out of it.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
I when you mentions this, Sam is always body shaming
you because of your back.

Speaker 4 (10:07):
Strong hair comes back, lady, back bitch, she's got back
for days.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Joe, back for days, Firestone.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
That can't be my nickname, you know, it's just yeah,
I just have you know, And you know in college,
I was the girl with the Ronald McDonald hair.

Speaker 4 (10:30):
Uh like bright red?

Speaker 2 (10:31):
Yeah? Is it interesting? Is this your natural hair color? Oh?

Speaker 3 (10:34):
Uh no?

Speaker 4 (10:35):
Was it a play on girl with the dragon tattoo?

Speaker 2 (10:37):
Oh? Oh?

Speaker 4 (10:39):
Was that popular at the time. No.

Speaker 3 (10:41):
I think this must have been in nineteen eighty two
or so. But so then so then, oh you know what,
Sam and and George, I just got my hair colored.

Speaker 4 (10:52):
Well it looks amazing.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
First of it looks amazing, but to me having curly
red hair. Julia Roberts, well, that wasn't what people thought
in the eighties. It was when you were you were
in high school. Okay, So that wasn't what people thought.
So we're talking bright red hair. I guess I don't

(11:14):
think of you as a redhead. No.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
I tried to do bright red for a bit, but
then I went to go get my hair dyed recently
and she was like, what happened to you the last
two years?

Speaker 2 (11:24):
What did she mean?

Speaker 3 (11:25):
She something was wrong with my?

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Oh I hair?

Speaker 4 (11:29):
What was what did she say was wrong?

Speaker 3 (11:31):
She's like, it looks crazy?

Speaker 2 (11:32):
Bit and what and what do you think? What kind
of hairstyle are we talking about?

Speaker 4 (11:42):
Like?

Speaker 2 (11:43):
What was she referred to?

Speaker 4 (11:44):
Do you know?

Speaker 2 (11:44):
I mean you just took the insult.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
The back was the back was what it was?

Speaker 5 (11:48):
No?

Speaker 2 (11:49):
Totally? Was it like flattened in the back? Was it
no cut, weirdly? No color?

Speaker 4 (11:56):
No?

Speaker 2 (11:57):
She just didn't like the back of your head.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
No, Well something was going on, but I wasn't able
to see it.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
Hey, that's the worst part.

Speaker 4 (12:02):
You can't see it.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
Oh no, it's for the best.

Speaker 4 (12:06):
Well, Joe, I want to say, is someone who's seen
you a lot over the last two years, I never
noticed the back of your hair being weird?

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah, but you know why, It's because she's never turned around.

Speaker 4 (12:17):
Oh, because she's self conscious of a big bag.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
No one has ever seen her big back or the
back of her hair, which looks terrible. She walks along
the walls, along the wall. It's like, oh, wait a minute,
you're right, I haven't seen her back ever.

Speaker 3 (12:33):
Well, sometimes you know what I mean if if you know, uh,
you know, when I was, when I was younger, and
I would I would urinate myself, you know that would.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Of course those were times. Oh you don't still do that.
Sometimes sometimes I'll say, oh, it's p yourself Friday.

Speaker 4 (12:51):
Why not?

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Oh, literally, live a little, live, a little do a
little micro bed wedding, just a.

Speaker 3 (12:59):
Little, just a little drip, micro bidwitning, micro needling.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
It's all there, everything micro these days.

Speaker 4 (13:05):
Whatever happened in normal sized, normal size stuff.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
I think you my guys might not want hold on.
I think I think you guys might want to put
this stuff in your stand up.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
The micro thing. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (13:21):
Yeah, like everything is micro these days. Write that down,
Write that down, microplastics.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
It actually is true that everything is micro waita sorry, microwife,
microwife micro sorry, don't talk to me or my microwife
ever again. I'm saying micro way, microwave, micro way.

Speaker 4 (13:43):
Well that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
That definitely makes sense. Although I would say the heyday
of the microwaves is in the past.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
Yes, there was one last night. Wo'd you cook chicken nuggets? Fake?

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Fake? Well, of course I wouldn't expect them to be
real if their microwave. But I feel like microwaves are
not like at the top of the cultural conversation, you
know what is like an instant pot like that is
the that is the microwave of now, of the twenty
first century. Yeah, yeah, but I do think you're onto
something with everything being micro and there's something about micro

(14:15):
that is I didn't and a great point that you said,
which is that everything is micro And here's why, because
I think micro is both more threatening and it's less
threatening because it's smaller, but it's more threatening because it's
like is it in my pores? Like is it can
get any like micro microplastics.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
Well, it allows people to have anxiety in a different way. Yes, exactly,
because you don't have to prove it. You can just
be like, I'm filled with micro stuff.

Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yeah, because you know a lot of people say, you know,
there's that like there's two kinds of people in this world,
people that are afraid of big stuff people that are
afraid of little stuff?

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Which are you little sticks?

Speaker 3 (14:54):
Nice?

Speaker 2 (14:54):
I think I said tits like you're afraid of little tits?

Speaker 3 (14:57):
George?

Speaker 2 (14:59):
Please, do you you have a phobia? Got a bit?

Speaker 3 (15:05):
I'm free a little titch.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
So when a big, tall runway model walks into the room,
you say, ah.

Speaker 4 (15:12):
Joe, I have a question relating to hair. So you
what color is it?

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Right now? Auburn?

Speaker 4 (15:19):
I'm color deficient, as many people know, I George learned recently.

Speaker 3 (15:23):
Right, I did know this too, brown brown brown?

Speaker 4 (15:28):
Because you know in the book, your your character Luela,
she puts on a blonde wig and feels more powerful.
Do you feel more powerful when you were blonde?

Speaker 3 (15:37):
I am not the same as the character. It's not autobiography.

Speaker 4 (15:43):
This pretty much happened to you.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
Let's be honest. No, this is a true story.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
No, this is the true story.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
Your book Murdering Sex Island is based on your life.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
Oh, I have no connection to this?

Speaker 2 (15:54):
Well you wrote it. Well yes, no, Maggie Smith, you
don't have no connection to it. To claim you have
no connection to it is a flat out lie.

Speaker 3 (16:04):
So book club, book club, okay, wow, so what are
we doing here? Do you think that it's Do you think.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
That this is what Reese did Witherspoon? We are already
talking circles around do you know what Reese Witherspoon does?
She tells jat chat Chubut to explain the book in
one paragraph. She reads that paragraph, and then she does
an Instagram reil where someone else writes no line and
she goes, y'all, when I read this book, I said

(16:32):
this is my favorite book. And then the next week
she does that with a different book, and then she
options all of them. None of them ever get made,
but she makes one billion dollars a week from it.
Do you know how much we're making doing this episode?
Negative three hundred dollars. That's tricky, Yes, because it's really tricky.

Speaker 3 (16:48):
That is tricky. I wonder if there's a way to raise.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
Funds, and that's this is a benefit show calling now donate, donate, donate.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
But we do we do want to talk about the book,
right so, because it's book club book clubs and maybe
we'll have been asking, you know, you've had authors to
be honest, award winning authors on the podcast before, like
what's different about this one? The difference is we can
talk about spoilers if we want, because it's a book
club and people, and we encourage people to read it
ahead of time. So if we're having like Jonathan Franzen

(17:19):
on just like as a normal guest, this straight topic
is birding, you know we're not going to like spoil
the corrections. Yeah, but with this one we can talk
about whatever we want.

Speaker 4 (17:30):
We can talk about essentially whatever we want.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
Interesting.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
So, Joe, you're a star of stage and screen. What
led you to writing a book?

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Yeah? Same question for me.

Speaker 3 (17:40):
Okay. Basically what happened is I didn't have any work okay,
and I was like, I can't. I don't really like
going outside at night anymore. Yes, you know that that's
change in a woman's life.

Speaker 4 (17:52):
Yeah, not mean the seventies.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
Meaningly, you're we're aging her more and more acenter, meaning
you didn't want to to stand up. Oh, can you
actually asked one parenthetical question?

Speaker 3 (18:07):
Yeah? Parent to parent, parent.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
To parent, Yes, being a mom no, I guess my
question is like.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
Can I tell you something speaking? I mean, I'm not
a mom, but and Sam not anymore? You know, I
mean he's in a better place.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
Yes, okay, Arkansas.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
Yeah, okay, So so basically I took my dog to
the same trainer as Sam.

Speaker 4 (18:36):
Uh huh, okay, yeah, so Joe and I both have
problem dogs, but of different styles.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, And what happened.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
Sam and Nisha had this effect on this dog trainer.
He loved them them on the cheeks. I would say
how much he really enjoyed them and would do anything
for them. I I referred Sam to this dog trainer
that can be tough, and this dog trainer never once

(19:05):
wanted to hug me.

Speaker 4 (19:07):
The moment he walked into our door, he said, let's hug.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Let's hug.

Speaker 4 (19:11):
Of course it's under the guys of just to see
how the dog reacts. But he held that hug and
then he is, you know, we're talking. He sees the pool,
he goes, oh, here we goes skinny dipping. I go, well, well,
we might have to, you know. He's sort of he's saying, oh, well,
what do you like to drink? Like we should all
hang out some and you think so the whole time,
I'm like, we are literally about to have a threesome

(19:31):
and with the dog trainer. And then at the end
he's like, and you have to meet my wife. And
I was like, oh interesting, I guess they do things
a little bit different in Los Angeles, California.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah. Yeah, and that no one actually ever has sex
from what I understand Town.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
And Joe, Joe this, I was like, oh, he must
have been super super nice to you as well, and
like really charming and sort of making all these jokes
and wanting to hang out. And Joe, that wasn't your experience.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
You know, that wasn't Mike.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
I had literally you really set her up for that one.

Speaker 3 (20:04):
He literally had wanted nothing to do with me. I
would text, he would wait twenty four hours to text back. Yeah,
I swear it was the effect that I don't think
you probably have this. But walking on the earth with Sam,
it's just like the people are throwing themselves at him.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
Yeah, it's crazy, say touch my butt, touch my butt.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
Give it me, get me.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
No, they're bending over. They're saying please fuck me.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
And Sam's like, all right, And it's crazy because I'm
saying please, can I fuck?

Speaker 5 (20:35):
Please?

Speaker 2 (20:36):
Please? That's your phrase begging to fuck or whatever. Yeah, no,
you guys don't say get away from me, you shrew.
It's yes, Well it's interesting. You know, I see both
of you walking around and this might have to do
with your not acting normal, so to speak, because the
two of you are a funny pair. You know, Sam
is just looking straight ahead as people are like whipping

(20:57):
out cocks but anything they can get their hands on,
and Sam is just like, don't look, don't look. And
then meanwhile you're you're screaming, who's gonna fuck me? George?

Speaker 3 (21:09):
I want to know where you are in this spectrum?

Speaker 2 (21:12):
Okay, I have to agree with you that Sam has
a charisma that stays with people. And the best way
I can describe it is if you introduce someone to Sam,
they will keep asking you how is Sam forever? So
I will say, like, one example is my father in law.
We introduced him to Sam once because Sam had a
medical issue. And the medical issue that I would say

(21:33):
is like not a sexy one. I was internally bleeding. Yes,
it was a gastrent trology issue. Scary, so you know
we're talking. I don't know what kind of photos of exchange,
and nor is it my business to ask, but this
man's like the inside of my asshole. This Sam saw
Sam at his most vulnerable. You would think he'd be

(21:54):
in there. You would think he'd want to move on
after that and not like keep checking in when I
tell you to this every time I see him, how
Sam doing. He literally heard about the after Midnight not
being on air anymore and and proactively asked me without
me telling him, like, and I'm a bacting New York. Yes,
that is wild.

Speaker 4 (22:15):
To be fair, I had a really special bond with
Matthew's dad. Yeah, there was really something there.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
Wow. Yeah, so I do uh, I do agree with
what you're saying.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
But does this happen to you too?

Speaker 2 (22:26):
I would say Sam and I have different types enough
that I've never felt not that I would ever feel competitive,
but I've never felt like, oh no, like that person
is giving Sam or me more attention in a way
that is noticeable.

Speaker 4 (22:37):
And I think George has a more There's something about
George where he's the one that people go to to
like ask to be on the podcast, Like people feel
more comfortable talking with George, and in a way that
I'm like confused, Like I'm like, i feel like I'm
like presenting a smiley vibe. You're more smiley vibe than
I have, and people are like not messaging me for anything.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
Here's what I think it is. I think, broadly speaking,
if you were to see me and not know me,
I would maybe seem kind of bitchy and not super forthcoming.
But if we're having a one on one conversation, I
think I get more. I don't want to say I
I access a fake thing, because I don't think it's fake.

(23:19):
But I'm able to get into a small talk mindset
maybe one on one easier, and so then people immediately
feel like we have a connection. Yeah, how do you
feel about that? I think that makes sense. Yeah, I
think that makes sense.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
But Joe, you everyone's obsessed with you, with the most
beloved comedian in all of America, to be completely honest,
and the thing is you can't. You refuse to accept it.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
And you refuse to do stand up comedy to be honest.

Speaker 3 (23:52):
I told you I hit that stage in my woman's life.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
In my woman's life.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
Okay. So then basic basically, gosh, I'm so sweaty with
this long sleeve shirt.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Okay, So I called Joe.

Speaker 4 (24:06):
I called Joe out for having a long sleep shirt,
and I was like, there's so much backstory on Joe's
outfits that we cannot get into.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
What do you know about Joe's formative years?

Speaker 3 (24:22):
Okay, what are you doing?

Speaker 2 (24:24):
I just know that there was a point when she
was so short that she had to crawl up the
stairs with her Yeah. I heard that too, I read
just say that and one time? Is that also part
of Louella's backs?

Speaker 4 (24:33):
No?

Speaker 3 (24:33):
One time I order your shoes online? It turned out
they were baby shoes.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
That okay, how old were you at the time?

Speaker 3 (24:40):
I was twenty four?

Speaker 2 (24:41):
That's not.

Speaker 3 (24:43):
Ride right, was like a cool brand. But then it
turns out it's for babies. But on the picture it
looked like human shoes.

Speaker 4 (24:51):
Maybes are humans? Oh, babies are second class?

Speaker 3 (24:56):
Oh whatever? You you're trying to get a gotcha me? Okay,
so I'm not gonna get gotcha today. Okay, just because
she's mousey doesn't mean there's two. There could be multiple
mousey women.

Speaker 4 (25:11):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
But a name one famous mousey woman. Uh okay, And
don't say Maggie's man. Don't say Maggie Smith. Don't you dare? Okay?

Speaker 3 (25:20):
Fine, okay, fine, how about oh I know how about
uh Zoe Macintosh?

Speaker 4 (25:31):
Never heard of your man?

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Someone?

Speaker 3 (25:32):
I did make it up. But let me think of
another one, A real one, A.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
Real I gonna say Zoe Deschanel, who.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
Is a carpenter.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
Is she mousey?

Speaker 3 (25:41):
She's little.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
She's little.

Speaker 4 (25:43):
It's little. The only the fighting factor of her.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
She's not mousey, but she's so little that she's actually
enough like a mouse that you could say she's mousey,
even though she's that's not what.

Speaker 4 (25:52):
She's a mouse like.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
She's a mouse like. But I think a mousey you
know what mousey is is like uh, Catwoman out of
Drag where she's like, oh my, oh god, like my
glasses are crooked and I'm photo copying wrong. Yes, yeah,
I love that.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
But yeah, I would say that. I would say that
there's the main character is kind of incompetent and also Mousie.
And just because I'm also incompetent and Mousie doesn't mean
that we're the same person by any means.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
Well, first of all, I don't think you're incompetent because
you did write a book auto fiction.

Speaker 4 (26:24):
I want to say, No, So it's like, how so
Sex Island is love Island and then and then you're
the detective, so like that's no, this is a.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
Murder mystery based on your life. No, and it's called
murder on Sex Island. So Sex Island is clearly inspired
by Love Island, although there are major differences, like what
name one? Okay, here's one. Okay, they live in a
big apartment. Yeah, complex? Is that what happens on Love Island?

Speaker 3 (26:52):
No, they say on the same bids?

Speaker 2 (26:54):
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they sleep in the same it's that. Actually.
One of the few things about your book that is
less disgusting than Love Island is that. I because on
Love Island they sleep in true like a communal room
with communal beds.

Speaker 3 (27:07):
Yes, But then in the Love Island UK some people
get to sleep in single beds up above.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
I'm gonna be honest with you. I've watched exactly two
episodes of Love Island US.

Speaker 4 (27:17):
I watched even less.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
Oh interesting, Well, I've watched it almost almost. Yeah. Well
we're different, Oh.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
Much like your character. That's not that's really interesting.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
I did not write an auto fiction book, so it
was autobiography.

Speaker 4 (27:32):
No, so do the contestants on the reality show represent
your family members?

Speaker 2 (27:36):
No? No, okay, I don't about trauma?

Speaker 3 (27:40):
No, No, there's no trauma. Okay it is.

Speaker 6 (27:43):
It is a book, and yeah, there's actually trauma in
the book. No, okay, there's murder murder is in trauma.
It's a different genre name one trauma. I mean, I
didn't know why this is so difficult, Okay, So okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
I wrote a fiction book, correct, and and it's out now. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
And then there's a second book coming out in a
year called Sex on Murder Island.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
And have you already written that one?

Speaker 3 (28:13):
Yeah, that one's written.

Speaker 4 (28:14):
Was that one easy to write because you could just
control F sex and change it for murder and control.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
F and vice versa. Yeah, same question.

Speaker 3 (28:25):
I did not need you to make control. I f
to make to make control if I'm a novelist, okay,
and I don't need you doing control if if jabs.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
Is it hard to take off your wig when you
get home to write the things that happened that day?

Speaker 3 (28:42):
George? I didn't, George. This is Yes, it's written in
first person, right, Yes, it's from a mouseie woman who's incompetent.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
Well, I actually don't think she's incompetent, because she does spoiler,
she does, just like you finished the book at the end. Yeah,
despite your own self mythology about oh god, I'm always
dropping things, you're getting up every day and you're doing
five full hours of writing.

Speaker 4 (29:07):
You were one of the most productive people. I literally
you're productive.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
Your last two big entertainment jobs, You've been the boss.
You are currently a guest on the one the Boss.

Speaker 3 (29:17):
Oh, Sam, Am I the boss.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
Was the boss, Joe, I would say that you are
the boss.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
Sam was the boss.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
I'll tell you that much. Everyone looks to Sam every moment.
Sam always Sam looking. Everyone looks up to Sam. Sam
is six foot five. He is an extreme taste.

Speaker 4 (29:40):
Joe. I was silent in that room. I never said
a word. I was just like, I was believable.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
No, but I think you're I think when when you
think you're being mousey, other people take it as I
better impress him because he's being He's like, he's not
going to crack a smile unless he's actually impressed with something.

Speaker 3 (29:57):
Sam had an issue with wraps the food.

Speaker 4 (30:03):
We kept ordering wraps, and mine had a big asshole
in it. Not to mention dry, all of them did well,
just the one had the big hole.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
And he's he personally hit you. Basically he got He
basically turned the whole room against wraps. Oh that's so
much social capital. So yeah, I'm the boss.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yeah, Joe.

Speaker 4 (30:33):
There was an undeniable hole in my wrap? What was
I supposed to And on top of that, they're consistently dry.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
This is the wettest rap you'll ever eat.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
I don't know. Just to be clear, that doesn't sound better. No, no, no, no,
I don't think the hard decide between a dry rap
and a wet rap. I would go for a dry.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
Personally, I only eat wet food.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
Okay, I don't interesting, So like how Laela only eats
soup because of her fake teeth, Just making a just
put gere out there, just putting that out there, making
making an observation, kind of like the ones you made
as Detective Louela van Horne.

Speaker 3 (31:07):
Okay, first of all, thank you for pronouncing it in
the Dutch.

Speaker 4 (31:11):
Of course he's international.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
Yes, I know. I'm international American. That's my that's my nationality.
I'm second generation international American.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
And Sam feels like that because he still used to
go to high school Midwest.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yeah, so it was different because the accents, right exactly. Yeah,
my wife his first generation in national American. Because he
moved to Virginia.

Speaker 4 (31:43):
It was a really difficult transition, you guys.

Speaker 3 (31:45):
Yeah, well you know how it goes, Oh, high school.
I just got I just got invited to my twentieth
high school reunion, speaking of.

Speaker 4 (31:53):
Old and are you going to go?

Speaker 3 (31:58):
I don't think I can. How come the people are active.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
Because you have that big case Island on sex murder,
George wet rap on dry Island.

Speaker 3 (32:10):
Oh oh oh you you too combined? It is truly, honestly,
I tell you this, You too combined. It's like your
two puzzle pieces, but when you put the puzzle pieces together,
it is a gun. Okay.

Speaker 4 (32:35):
When I complained about the wraps, Joe assigned me to
get really into rap culture.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
No, I didn't mean it like that.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
I meant it like rap culture. This is all you
guys are. This entire story is like being told to
me so that you can do wordplay. It's all been
leading up. It's all been leading up to someone being
like it was hardcore rap and it's like a chicken
Caesar wrap.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
No okay, So okay, okay, that is good, okay, okay,
or seriously, I think that the thing is, this is
what I'm just getting at, okay, is that I've never
commanded respect in my life.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
But.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
But respect is being showered at you on all left
and left and right, no, and you are sitting there
and saying, I'm mousie.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
I honestly don't understand why people come up with they
beg you to get on this show.

Speaker 4 (33:24):
They beg you, and I told Georgia's story.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
Wait here you can let Joe can finish one thought.

Speaker 3 (33:32):
I'm just saying that I'm practically begged. I said, please, please, mothers,
please get me on this show, and just to say
just to get on there saying, well, that's all it is.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
What I didn't. I actually regret. I regret interrupting Sam
and having you finish your thoughts.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
So what's your story?

Speaker 4 (33:59):
Can I tell George about toe Tech?

Speaker 7 (34:03):
Right?

Speaker 4 (34:04):
Okay? So Joe loves to be like I'm I'm normal,
I'm acting normal, and how do you guys possibly laugh
at me? And then she'll say the craziest thing on earth?
For example, she was like everyone has crazy thoughts. She
was like, everyone has crazy thoughts. We're all going around
sharing like, okay, well I believe this. I believe this,
like sort of you know, trying to relate and be
like I'm crazy, I'm crazy. You know, somebody's like I

(34:27):
think some people are psychic or whatever. Sure, whatever, we
go to Joe and she's like, well, my boyfriend believes
in you know, past lives, and babies often know him
as Totech. Babies often know him as to Tech. And

(34:52):
we're like, what are you talking about? And she's like,
babies will point at him and go to Tech.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
And then after that you just asked to lead the
writers for the rest of that.

Speaker 4 (35:11):
And then literally she's like, oh, by the way, you
have notes like it's like, it's like, what is going on.
Babies often know him as toe Tech, So then it
implies that like babies know him, and then you reach
a certain age and you no longer know him as
to Tech. You forget who he is.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (35:33):
So how many babies, how many babies have pointed him?

Speaker 3 (35:41):
Have done this?

Speaker 2 (35:44):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (35:44):
Sopped like stick your little finger pointing at him.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
And are you sure it's not like you're they're saying
something like oh, you know, like baby sounds, but you're
primed to hear as to Tech. No, I wish and
how many babies are we talking?

Speaker 3 (36:05):
This happens with several babies and then and we looked
up to Tech and to Tech isn't as Tech god
of war.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
And so do you think in his past life he
was to Tech.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
It seems only I don't know explain, and I actually.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
Have an explanation for why babies know him as to Tech.

Speaker 4 (36:27):
Oh, I would love some of your explanation.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
It's actually pretty simple, and I'm sure everyone would have
gotten the eventually. But it's like, okay, so if there
are past lives, Okay, a baby is born, that's a
new life being started. But maybe like there's residual past
life until the baby grows up, you know what I mean.
So like there's there's the new life is only just

(36:50):
getting started, and it's filling in the container that previously
had the past life. So in the beginning, there's enough
of the past life for them to recognize him as
to Tech. And then as they get older, the part
of them that would recognize him fades away and now
they are just like Keith.

Speaker 4 (37:07):
It's essentially the plot of Baby Geniuses. I don't know
if you guys have seen it.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
I actually I have not seen it, but I know
of the famous scene where you're in the point of
view of the sperm.

Speaker 4 (37:18):
Yeah, so pretty much there's a movie called Baby Geniuses
which Kirsty ally right, Uh no, that's look who's talking?

Speaker 3 (37:24):
I think, Oh, okay, then there's also a baby giant.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
Well I was talking about La who's talking?

Speaker 3 (37:28):
Baby Boss?

Speaker 4 (37:29):
I do?

Speaker 2 (37:29):
I have seen Baby Genius is actually SAMs Bab, But
I still want to know the plot.

Speaker 4 (37:34):
Well, the promise is, of course, that you that babies
are born in their geniuses until they reach a certain
age and they forget it all.

Speaker 3 (37:40):
He Isn't there a book? I mean a movie like
that to like Smart Dogs?

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Yes, no, they're actually his, but I can't remember what
it's called. It's like, do you remember there's also one
about with cats and dogs that are battling one another. Yes,
and they're using technology. It's called cats and Dogs.

Speaker 4 (37:58):
I'm learning. Joe, are you were worried that if you
were to have a child, that your own baby would
know him as Totech and then eventually, like maybe know
him better as Totech than as dad.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
Sounds like you're worried about that. Sounds like that's something
you're worried about.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
I guess my question would be, are you worried that
your baby would be a god? Aka the Messiah? To
talk about a fictional book?

Speaker 4 (38:24):
Okay, that's nonfiction.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
Okay, I came here, and I'm sorry if everyone else
here comes on here to talk about their memoir again.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
This is the inaugural Stradiola Book Club.

Speaker 4 (38:34):
This is the first book club. I think many authors
are going to begging to come on.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
Wait till I get on the reddit forums.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
So okay, okay.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
So basically, here's what you do is it's really easy
to you write him. It's very you can write a
mystery novel really quickly. Okay, And so that's what I did.
I thought I was never going to work again. And
then I thought, oh, you know what, I'm going to
write a sexual books to pop off, you know.

Speaker 2 (39:02):
And why did you choose the mystery I mean, I
guess you choose the mystery genre because it is like popular.

Speaker 3 (39:08):
Well, I love mysteries. And then I was like, I'm
gonna write a psycho sexual thriller, very good, very juicy.
Then I couldn't really bring pen to paper when it
came to the sexuals.

Speaker 4 (39:20):
You know, I did.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
I did notice that unfortunately, there is no intercourse or
a book called Murder on Sex Silent. It's actually pretty
light on the sex.

Speaker 4 (39:27):
You'd be surprised how little sex there is no I
just couldn't.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
It's just so hard to be like, he put his
sausage in there or whatever.

Speaker 4 (39:34):
You do you say cock at one point, Oh, but
I just yeah, I mean there was something when you
referred to one character's ten inch penis throughout, and it
was sort of like, Joe, stop it.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
Well, I do think it's written from the perspective of
someone who doesn't.

Speaker 3 (39:51):
Know it's okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
Enough, okay, which is part of the character.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
Oh yeah, yeah, okay, So yes, she does and she
does whatever. So then basically I wrote this book thinking
it's going to be a smash hit. Wouldn't have to
ever go back to these comedy clubs.

Speaker 2 (40:10):
Right where you were making the big books. The club.

Speaker 4 (40:15):
You see Joe up there at the cellar every damn night.
And here's the problem with Woke.

Speaker 3 (40:21):
Well, well, well you too, you too. I hope you
enjoy each other. Okay, this is a this is just
ghastly okay, So you know, truly, Okay, So I wrote
this book think it's going to pop off. Then you know,
I started querying it.

Speaker 2 (40:40):
Query showing it to people, Yeah, you send it, and
they said.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
No, no, and so then I was like, well, I
wrote this whole book though, and so then I self
published it, okay, and then self publishing it is uh,
it's it is a it is not it is a
tough process. For I accidentally made the book really big.

Speaker 2 (41:02):
How do you mean, like physically, like the font was
really big.

Speaker 4 (41:06):
Something A lot of pages.

Speaker 3 (41:07):
No, it was like the size of a calendar.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
You just yeah, yeah. So and then when you're holding
it almost like even more giant please, Okay, you're climbing
the stairs. Meanwhile you're surfing on the book. Surfing down
the stairs on your giant's book. Just what we were
telling your friends.

Speaker 4 (41:26):
Hat somethings are micro somethings are macron anything, be normal,
you all.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
Why don't audition for ass cat like this we had.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
And we didn't make it. They don't like us over there, Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (41:39):
So then so then basically I did this. I did
this whole self published book, okay, and then uh and
then I uh and then I I and then eventually
it became a published book. But then they were like,
you have a lot of plot holes. So then I
had to revise the book and write it again. So
I've written this book I think eighteen times what theles changed.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
I want to just push back a little bit. What
you're describing is the editing process.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
I don't actually need you to push back at this moment.
And I think that maybe an author working.

Speaker 2 (42:16):
With an editor at the end, I keep having to
rewrite it.

Speaker 3 (42:19):
No, I think, and I think this is obviously not
a time to push back. It actually is a time
to push forward.

Speaker 4 (42:25):
Push forward, wow, more than ever?

Speaker 3 (42:27):
Oh okay, So basically, yeah, I guess it got edited
normal totally. Like, for example, there is a knife, uh
huh in the self published version. I may have forgotten
there was a knife, but the.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
Belly button thing was still there. You just didn't know
how it happened.

Speaker 4 (42:47):
Or the knife in the underwear drawer? Which knife?

Speaker 2 (42:51):
There were no knives?

Speaker 3 (42:52):
No, no, there was no There was a knife, but
they never found the.

Speaker 4 (42:59):
Knife, so it was like an implied knife.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
And which knife did they not find? The one that
was used on the murder victims to do the belly
button thing? So the one in the chicken and the
rotissary chicken. Yeah, so the chicken wasn't that wasn't at it?
Oh okay, okay, So I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (43:23):
I didn't know you guys had or were, uh Reddit, Okay,
so book Club I guess goes like this.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
Yeah, okay, so.

Speaker 4 (43:42):
That is so classic Joe. No. One time. One time,
Joe was like getting up and she was like really
like emphatically, like I'm gonna make a point. I'm going
to make a point. What you guys don't understand. What
you guys don't understand is people love.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
To go like this. For anyone not watching, Sam is
merely holding a cup.

Speaker 4 (44:05):
This is all she does. And we're like, finish the sentence,
what did they love to go like? And she's like,
people love to go like this and she just holds
her cup and it's like what we're two hands with
two hands.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
And so to go like this. Okay, did you mean
that people like to hold something with both hands? No,
so what did you mean?

Speaker 3 (44:25):
Basically, here's what happened. It's like every day head go
in there and I'd be like, Hi, guys, have a
great day today, Love you so much. I hope you
feel supported, and they would stare at me.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
Like for anyone listening. By the way, I do want
to say Joe was the head writer of After Midnight
and that is why we are saying she was Sam's boss,
and that is where all these stories are coming from.

Speaker 3 (44:49):
But basically I'd be like, hey, everybody who needs milk?

Speaker 2 (44:53):
Who needs water? And everyone would be like, everyone would like,
look at you disrespectfully.

Speaker 3 (44:59):
Yes, And that's why I said people love to do this.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
I'm wait, okay, so you're saying you're saying, does anyone
want milk? Anyone water? Everyone says no, and You're like,
but people love that. They love drinking something.

Speaker 3 (45:14):
People love to do this. This no, which is which
is nothing no, which is basically it's.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
Like, oh, okay, I'm seeing the miscommunication. Can I attempt George?

Speaker 3 (45:27):
Honestly, you've never gotten wrong.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Thank you. Here's what I think happened. Okay, okay, I
actually like completely understand what happened. All right, So this
is to tech all over again. No, this is I babies.
We'll start thinking I'm to Tech by the time I'm
done with this explanation. So basically, Joe asked a question.
People stared at her blankly, and then Joe is like, wow,

(45:51):
people love to go like this, and then you did
the blank stare look. Simultaneously and unrelatedly, you were holding
a cup with two hands. So the way Sam interpreted
it is people love to hold a couple of two hands.
But that's not the thing you were showing, George.

Speaker 3 (46:06):
Genuinely, I just wonder if we should spend more time together,
Like I just am wondering if maybe we should.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
I do you remember that one time we got lunch
in Manhattan?

Speaker 3 (46:18):
That was cool? I remember what we got?

Speaker 2 (46:20):
What we get?

Speaker 3 (46:21):
Well, I remember what you got?

Speaker 4 (46:24):
Yum. I do think I have to be Joe. You're
painting like a sort of a wrong picture.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Uh oh, back to push forward if well, if if
one of us, you know, I pushed back one. So
now Sam has his turn.

Speaker 3 (46:39):
Okay, fine, but guess what my turn is coming up?

Speaker 4 (46:41):
And it's not going to be pretty h oh, because
Joe comes in and is like booo, like she does
something so silly, and we're all like, okay, that's the
silliest thing I've ever seen. Like we're like we and
we support it. We say that is so funny, Joe,
you are so funny. And she goes, I'm not being funny.
I see, Shoe respond.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
I conducted myself in a professional manner every day. Every
day I go in in every day, I would act
to listen to these, listen to this, listen to these,
listen So I listened to this music on the way there.
That was like, you're going to have a good day.
Nothing's gonna go wrong today, Like I had to listen
to every day.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
This is like Barney's Hits Volume one.

Speaker 4 (47:26):
There was literally a song called I'm Making a Move.
I've never heard the song in my life, and it's
like I'm making a move and it's like it's like
not Lizzo, but it's really close.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
Would you say it's like Pink Hmmm, It's it's.

Speaker 3 (47:41):
Closer to Lizzo. But I would listen to it every
day to try to feel good going in there.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
Were you like dreading going into work every day?

Speaker 3 (47:49):
So then I would basically I would basically go and
be like, this is the day I'm gonna have a
good attitude, because whenever I had a bad attitude, everyone
was like, oh, when are you going to be in
a good mood again? Terrible? Okay. So then basically I
was driving and playing that song trying to get in
a good headspace. When I crash my car.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (48:11):
Of making a move.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
You know, there's something actually very powerful about where you're
describing because you know what it reminds me of. Okay,
there's nothing creepier than something violent happening while happy music
is playing. And of course my mind goes to the
TV show Lost, where famously that song play your own
kind of music would play as like something bad would

(48:37):
happen in the bunker don't call in with Basically, something
like that happened, and so I could see that being
a very traumatic experience for you to be both listening
to a Lizzo esque song and also be having a
near death experience.

Speaker 3 (48:50):
Of course, I mean it wasn't so bad, but yeah, no,
I would say that, you know, like, what's the guy's
name that did all those movies? Keaton?

Speaker 2 (49:00):
Michael Keaton, JJ Abram, No.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
It's the guy that did those movies like Hope Fiction Tarantino.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
Yes, so Rance Tarantino. Yeah, Keaton Tarantino. I love Keaton Tarantino.

Speaker 3 (49:19):
I didn't catch up on my textbooks before going on
this show, okay, and next time I'll know to read
my textbooks.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
We both did our reading, okay, okay, So.

Speaker 3 (49:32):
Okay, So then basically, you know, Tarantino does that those
famous things?

Speaker 2 (49:37):
Oh? Sure, sure, yes, it's very like music being discordant
with what is happening, and that's where the I mean it's.

Speaker 4 (49:47):
And to be fair to pick a picture, it wasn't
like crash with another car. You were scraping against a pillar, correct.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
I scraped against the walls of the garage, I.

Speaker 4 (50:00):
See, and sort of kept going, yeah, well, once you
start scraping, there's no stop in it.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
Okay. And then just to go back to the story,
how does this relate to anything we were talking?

Speaker 3 (50:12):
Okay, I'm just saying I'm just saying, Oh, this is
what's the issue.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
So I'm just saying that basically I didn't realize this
was here.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
I was thinking this for anyone only listening. There was
a pillow of a seashell, a seashell illustration pillow and
shell shaped pillow behind Joe's giant back. Oh my gosh. Okay.

Speaker 3 (50:43):
So basically all I'm saying is that, So Sam and
I just have different views on how this all went down, Okay, Right,
So basically I'm in there thinking I'm normal. Every day,
I'm professional, I'm going to have I'm gonna I'm gonna
run a tight room. And Sam has this idea that

(51:06):
I'm coming in every day saying wacky wackle everybody who
wants a balloon? And that's not what I felt. I did.
I said, who wants a pencil? Time to get to work?
And I guess in his mind I was you know what,
I was wearing a big uniform.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
You were being Patch Adams. That is so Sam, You
are Patch Adams to you, you are Meryl Streep and
Devilware's product. That is interesting.

Speaker 4 (51:33):
That is interesting.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
Those are the two poles of professionalists.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
Are you watching Gilded Age?

Speaker 4 (51:41):
You know?

Speaker 2 (51:42):
I actually have a request and I want to look
straight into my camera. No, I would like to no
longer be asked if I'm wanting I think I have
been asked enough times whether I'm watching the Gilded Age.
It has nothing to do with my opinions on the
Gilded Age. I think theater actresses are the Patch Adams

(52:02):
of the culture industry, and I respect them. I would
Venmo car Cooon personally if I could. If anyone has revenge,
will let me know. But I would officially like to
be asked to no longer be addressed by someone asking me,
do you watch the Guilded Age?

Speaker 4 (52:16):
I think that is such a beautiful sentiment. And I'm
of course thrilled for all the actors and everyone that
is employed by that show, and I hope it goes forever.
I agree, I just don't want to be associated with
it and assumed that I would watch it.

Speaker 2 (52:32):
I okay, okay, I don't, but Matthew does. So it's
playing in my home alone.

Speaker 4 (52:39):
And I don't as well, but Misha does, so it's playing.

Speaker 3 (52:42):
You know, I have so much nice husbands that are
going in there.

Speaker 2 (52:47):
Well, you've got to you're the Matthew and Misha of
your relationship, because I assume he doesn't no heat. Okay,
So what are you complaining about some that you are?
You guys are in sync and watching it together.

Speaker 3 (53:00):
I'm just saying that ever since I've been on this podcast,
I've been called in twenty times.

Speaker 2 (53:04):
Called in. Well, that's the good one. Do you want
to be called out?

Speaker 4 (53:07):
No?

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Hello, complaining about being called in?

Speaker 3 (53:15):
I just wish I did it right?

Speaker 2 (53:17):
Did what? Right?

Speaker 4 (53:18):
Everything?

Speaker 2 (53:19):
Well, you're doing something right here? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (53:22):
Right?

Speaker 2 (53:22):
Writing a book? Yeah yeah, oh I don't need that.
And listen and this listen.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
I know that people are going to return their books
after listening to this podcast.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
What I know you're going to do that.

Speaker 4 (53:34):
You're going to recern them. Does that hurt your sales
if they do?

Speaker 2 (53:37):
Yeah? Oh no, you pocket that money from you pocket
it no matter what. No, you're asked to. If you
get little book residuals, they have you, they say, write
a check for twenty four dollars. And someone just returned.
Someone just returned this book to Burnes and Noble. They
call you personally and they say, Joe, you're good using
bad news.

Speaker 4 (53:57):
Somebody bought your book. That's amazing, here's twenty four dollars.
Bad news is they were turned it. You oweys that
money back?

Speaker 3 (54:03):
Can I tell you something that's so embarrassing? So I
keep going. I keep going into bookstores, so humble of course,
being like, I wonder if my book is here. It's not,
then I have to walk out real humble.

Speaker 2 (54:18):
Wait it's surely it is.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
It's not. And I walk out saying, must be nice
to be a un patch it sure?

Speaker 2 (54:27):
Oh yeah, that bitch and patch it dumb bitch. I
don't care if she's listening, stupid bitch.

Speaker 4 (54:46):
So, Joe, how did you decide how it was gonna end?

Speaker 2 (54:49):
Like?

Speaker 4 (54:49):
Pretty much? Spoiler alert, there's like a group of killers.
Why there are men? And there are men?

Speaker 2 (54:55):
Yeah? What we're why?

Speaker 4 (54:56):
Why why group instead of one? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (55:00):
Sicko? Well feminism was it?

Speaker 4 (55:06):
Was it about feminism?

Speaker 3 (55:08):
Do you think it was about feminism?

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Honestly?

Speaker 4 (55:11):
A little?

Speaker 3 (55:15):
I guess, Uh, I guess basically, you you know, you
just you just have to say what makes the most
sense in the moment.

Speaker 2 (55:27):
Okay, what leads me to my follow up question? I
don't want what?

Speaker 3 (55:33):
I don't want what? I don't want any watch in this?

Speaker 2 (55:37):
Are you saying that you sort of figured out the
plot as you went along?

Speaker 4 (55:40):
No? No, Joe, Joe did tell me that her You
told me your writing process for a mystery, you just
have to know how it ends and everything else you
can kind of riff, Is that right?

Speaker 2 (55:52):
I never you, Joe, you said that to me. You're
gas lading.

Speaker 4 (55:55):
You're literally gaslating.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
You're being phil from the book.

Speaker 3 (56:00):
Oh you know what's really good? What fills coffee?

Speaker 2 (56:05):
Oh? I agree? But it's so strong? Love it? Okay,
So you know it's Palestine? Yes? I did, really, yes,
And you know what.

Speaker 3 (56:13):
It's only I wish it was on the East coast,
but I don't think it's in DC.

Speaker 4 (56:18):
I wish it was a little less sweet, to be honest,
please like.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
The coffee itself without sugar.

Speaker 3 (56:22):
Is he doesn't know what he's doing.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
Have you ever had the ice mint mohido?

Speaker 3 (56:26):
He says ice cream is too cold?

Speaker 2 (56:28):
It is too cold. That's actually one of Sam's favorite
things to say.

Speaker 3 (56:31):
And get a life. These clothes are too soft.

Speaker 2 (56:36):
My skin is too good.

Speaker 4 (56:39):
You know I've been can Joe, can you tell George
the term you invented for what that is that I do?
And and sort of this I think will feed into
this is a term for what you saying me my complaints,
your complaints. You know.

Speaker 3 (56:54):
So Sam has weird complaints like I don't like dinner
or whatever.

Speaker 4 (56:59):
I know, my complaint was I don't like when I
like dinner because it makes me feel lame.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
I mean, that's classic.

Speaker 3 (57:08):
This isn't insane.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
That is so classic.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
And he, meanwhile, charming the pants off a half the country.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
It's unfair, it's unfair. I meanwhile, you have.

Speaker 3 (57:16):
To give the self process things like, oh, he doesn't
like dinner.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Okay, yeah, okay, So what is the word this? I
would love to have a word for this.

Speaker 3 (57:25):
Here's what happens So basically, if I'm like, hey, does
everybody want a present? Or Hey, who here? Who here?
Needs a coffee? I can tell when Sam goes like
he does a little inhale like and then I know
that is a stage of pre.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
Com pre calm. Pre com is calm communication, no complaint.
Oh okay, okay, yes, no, I know exactly what you mean. Yes, okay,
keep going.

Speaker 4 (57:53):
And you must understand that when Joe says Sam's going
to pre calm, people are like, Joe, what that is crazy?

Speaker 2 (58:00):
And this is this is what you're saying when you
think you're being so professional.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
I am it is pronounced. I'm not saying he's gonna
pre calm everybody.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
Okay, So how are you saying.

Speaker 3 (58:12):
I'm not saying that.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
It's okay, So how are you saying it he's going
to pre comb I doubt you're over.

Speaker 3 (58:17):
I'm saying it that way. I'm saying it that way.
I'm staying that way.

Speaker 2 (58:23):
I just want to say he's not gonna pre calm.
When you're saying it means you saw him pre calm, correct,
he's gonna calm. You're not seeing him pre comm and
saying he's gonna pre calm, don'try, Joe. This is part
of the editing process. I have to say. It would
be insane to be having sex and say I'm gonna.

Speaker 8 (58:44):
Breath, I'm gonna pre com that would honestly be something
that happens in.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
Your book.

Speaker 3 (59:01):
Whatever, because I don't know what sex is.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
No, Luella doesn't know. It's Luella, who you may or
may know. You are not related to. From what I
understand now, I want to ask you something, which is
you have been doing this. Thank you for bringing this up.
Thank you for bringing this up. Okay, first of all,
you're just drawing our big.

Speaker 3 (59:23):
Prop Oh dear, I guess I gotta replant.

Speaker 2 (59:29):
Now you're performing mousiness to prove Oh dear, oh dear,
Okay you are. First of all, I I was very
grateful you agreed to be on a show of mine
that I hosted George S. Verison Friends.

Speaker 3 (59:51):
That was really cool. Sponsored at a twenty four day
Cherry Tree Trees.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
Yes, Cherry Cherry Lane Theater. Look out for more and
you do more well, hopefully I'm winning to hear back
about dates. And I said, Joe, I would absolutely love
for you to do the show. You said, I don't really.
I haven't really been doing stand up, but for you,

(01:00:16):
I'll come out of retirement. And I said that would
be amazing. I can't wait you get there the day of.
You say, I'm actually not going to do stand up,
but I'm going to do this bit I've been doing
on stage. And would you like to explain what.

Speaker 4 (01:00:28):
The bit is?

Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
I don't remember.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
It's called suck or fuck. And you say things and
say whether they suck or fuck or whether they correspond
to suck or fuck.

Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
Well, yeah, basically it got a little bit confusing because
you guys accuse me of homophobia by saying this suck
was bad but fuck was good. So then I had
to witch it to say suck was good and fuck
was bad.

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
But which one do you think is better?

Speaker 3 (01:01:00):
No, I'm not doing that again.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
You were you, you initially you would know all about that.
You initially said fuck was good and suck was bad.
And then I said, you know, in queer relationships, actually
suck can count as sex because we're not so penetrating.

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
Once again, and neither is this book. To be honest,
this book is.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
What non penetrative, but there's also no sucking. Yeah, I
would say there's more fucking than sucking. There's not even
any there's not even any jerkins referred to.

Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
I didn't know everyone was keeping score.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
There is also a what was it called a grief orgy.

Speaker 4 (01:01:48):
I'm just being a cuddle puddle.

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
Yeah, cuddle puddles happened on Wednesdays.

Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
Yes, that's women wednesdays. Women pick Wednesday, women pick Wednesdays.

Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
I think I could have written this better than.

Speaker 4 (01:02:06):
I.

Speaker 3 (01:02:06):
Just wonder if maybe now I'm hearing these things out
loud from your voices, that maybe they could have.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
Actually, I have a I have a correction. There is sucking. Well,
there's kind of lingus, and that there's one of my
favorite jokes is that there's one guy who's famously good
at kind of lingis famously hates kind of lingus. And
then after the show he gets a reality show where
he goes to different restaurants and it's called Noah's Eating Out. Yes.

Speaker 4 (01:02:33):
Oh, and there's there's rim jobs.

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
There's jobs.

Speaker 4 (01:02:36):
Well, it implied like they happened in the past.

Speaker 3 (01:02:40):
Oh, you want them to happen in a moment.

Speaker 2 (01:02:41):
Yeah, I would like a description of the act.

Speaker 3 (01:02:44):
This is the issue I had. I couldn't bear to
do it. I couldn't bear to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:49):
Do you not want your readers to pre calm?

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
Okay, first of all, I don't. I'm trying to get
my readers.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
How people love to do this?

Speaker 3 (01:03:04):
No, okay, so no I don't need that. Okay, So
this this? Oh, do you need a coffee break shirt? Okay?

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
So basically make sure to hold it with both hands.
People love to do that, George, Okay, go ahead. Basically
I never.

Speaker 3 (01:03:19):
Understood how this could feel. Okay. So basically, basically, oh,
I should maybe not sit. This is recorded and visually m.

Speaker 4 (01:03:29):
Hm oh, I'm sitting in the same damn way.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
How crazy would it be if it wasn't.

Speaker 4 (01:03:37):
There?

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
We're just cameras everywhere.

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
Well I did ask if these were iPads, and apparently
they're not.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
No, just wait, okay, I keep going. Basically, approximately ten
minutes ago, you started a sentence with what it's basically, well,
that could have been anything. That's what we're saying. That's
why we want to narrow it down to what it is,
what would it have to do with instead of what

(01:04:05):
it could be. You know, when you start a sentence,
it could be anything, but as you go, it gets
more and more specific.

Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
You know, I have rolling blackouts.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
You have rolling blackouts in my head.

Speaker 3 (01:04:14):
I don't remember any single thing that happened too much.

Speaker 2 (01:04:16):
Do you think that contributed to the various miscommunications in
the writer's room? You blacken out every morning, hitting, hitting
the fucking building with your car, and then walking in
and saying completely indecipherable things to your entire staff.

Speaker 3 (01:04:35):
Oh my god, this is a not how I pictured it.
Here's what I pictured. Yes, okay, coming on this pod. Okay,
I pictured here.

Speaker 5 (01:04:47):
Hey, hoyo, this for you're trying the pod. It was
so nice to see you the other day that Tunam
was in mine. I'm so hunger back in York.

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
Oh my god, I love what you've done with your hair.
The back is so normal. This book is to die
or I literally could.

Speaker 9 (01:05:15):
Not believe all thes and the knife who was so
perfectly placed in the chicken. You know, I could tell
him an earlier version didn't have knives, but it was
such an improvement that this one did.

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
And I love the lack of sex.

Speaker 9 (01:05:28):
That really made me feel like it wasn't gonna pre cool.
If I had to decide between second pock I watch
was fuck for this book?

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
Would is better? Is that?

Speaker 4 (01:05:41):
How you imagine that? What the hell are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
My god?

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
You know what?

Speaker 2 (01:05:58):
Good thing?

Speaker 3 (01:05:59):
You found each each other?

Speaker 2 (01:06:01):
Good thing you found each other.

Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
The two of you are like two horns of a devil.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
Two horns of so where two jigsaw pieces that create
a gun and two horns of a devil.

Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
You know that mixing metaphors is my specialty. But basically
what happened is you had a horn, and you had
a horn, and basically what together you create the face
and horns of a devil.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
And it was Luella van Horn whoa character? Name?

Speaker 4 (01:06:30):
It is?

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
It is?

Speaker 3 (01:06:35):
Here's the thing, here's the thing, what's the thing?

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
What's the thing?

Speaker 3 (01:06:40):
Okay? I am grateful that Bult you read.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
I actually didn't read the book, okay, And.

Speaker 3 (01:06:52):
I just think that also, you guys really did you
really did have this book club? First one?

Speaker 4 (01:07:02):
We really had this, We really did have this be
the first one.

Speaker 3 (01:07:04):
I don't need you to repeat what I said to
you tell you that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:11):
You're doing it again. No.

Speaker 4 (01:07:13):
No.

Speaker 7 (01:07:15):
Secondly, certainly, day Maggie Smith, is that you certainly are
you watching the gilge? Secondly, what Secondly, I I.

Speaker 3 (01:07:38):
Just when I was coming here. You know, I spent
twenty seven dollars out of noodles.

Speaker 2 (01:07:43):
Yes, and I spent seventeen dollars on half a sandwich.
I spent eighteen dollars on a kish that's nuts. It
is all nuts.

Speaker 3 (01:07:53):
It is all nuts.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
But I thought to myself, I've heard of walnuts, but
all nuts.

Speaker 3 (01:08:00):
I don't even know what I'm doing here.

Speaker 4 (01:08:02):
Okay, you're promoting your big book.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
It's not available on any bookstores. If we have to
listen to this podcast, what do.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
You call it a big book? It reminds me of
how I messed up and ordered it big okay.

Speaker 2 (01:08:13):
Calendar style? Oh, when you were checking out, was there
a choice for calendar style and book styling? Accidentally chose calendar.

Speaker 3 (01:08:22):
Was really big?

Speaker 2 (01:08:23):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (01:08:24):
And I didn't realize. I don't have a tape in
my house.

Speaker 2 (01:08:27):
You know. It's funny. If I were to go about
self publishing something, and I don't mean this is a criticism,
I would immediately say, ebook, this is an ebook. I'm
self publishing an ebook. It would sound so difficult to
actually pay to have it printed. Well, it was clearly
it came back to.

Speaker 4 (01:08:44):
Joe, was that like the test print or did you
have like five hundred of these things?

Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
How many people bought the collector's edition calendar style books?
Pre edits just a branded out Google doc with comments
and highlights. It h t K t K had killer.

Speaker 4 (01:09:03):
Here you have the ending and then the rest was
like this will I'll figure this out later?

Speaker 3 (01:09:08):
Absolutely not. Okay, I listen, this was a highly regimented
writing process.

Speaker 2 (01:09:15):
Okay, okay, let's tell let us in your process. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:09:21):
First of all, I never say riff Excuse me, Sam said, oh,
just riff it?

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
Oh oh oh, okay, yes, I do want you to
correct Sam. So Sam said, you said the way to
write a mystery come up with the ending and then
just rift the rest. You're saying that's wrong, that's missing
for me.

Speaker 3 (01:09:38):
I never said, what did you say, come up with
the ending and then come up with the middle.

Speaker 2 (01:09:45):
And then rif?

Speaker 3 (01:09:48):
No, first of all, you too, you too are basically
like a devilish monkey.

Speaker 2 (01:09:55):
Okay, okay, interesting you know that is this like a
wicked thing?

Speaker 3 (01:10:02):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:10:03):
Oh do you know what I think?

Speaker 3 (01:10:05):
What I think that the Wicked dorm room is the
same as the Wednesday dorm room.

Speaker 2 (01:10:13):
Oh well, of course.

Speaker 4 (01:10:17):
Okay, I think you should incorporate this into your standard.

Speaker 2 (01:10:19):
This is really big.

Speaker 4 (01:10:20):
Well maybe instead of sucker fucking be Wicked dorm room
or Wednesday dorm room.

Speaker 2 (01:10:27):
Shoe. I just want to say, that's such a good point,
the Wicked dom room, the Wednesday.

Speaker 3 (01:10:32):
Do I need you all to delete it?

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
Do you think it's part of the dorm room cinematic
I need you all.

Speaker 3 (01:10:39):
No, I need you all to delete it. I'm bringing
in hot fresh observations.

Speaker 4 (01:10:45):
Let's know, I actually love that observation.

Speaker 2 (01:10:48):
This is this is right here? What else? Here's what happens.

Speaker 3 (01:10:53):
I come in here with hot fresh cultural commentary. Okay,
would y'all any podcasts would be grateful to have? And
you all think I'm making I'm saying, hey, you want
some lemonade med at the Blueberries, but I told you
I don't want any more?

Speaker 4 (01:11:11):
What?

Speaker 8 (01:11:12):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
That's actually a good rule. Yeah, that's a really good rule.
I could see that being a sort of Mariah Carey
esque diva thing where she's like Mariah does, Mariah doesn't
want any whats like? That's her what it's like in
her writer that when you talk to her you are
not allowed to say what, because it makes her feel
not heard if she says something, even if you literally
didn't hear and you're like, excuse me, you can't say what?

Speaker 3 (01:11:34):
Yeah, I used to never. I used to never repeat
my jokes if someone didn't hear it, because they'd be like,
what you say? And then if I repeated it, they'd
go and I said, no, it's no longer.

Speaker 2 (01:11:45):
Yeah you missed it.

Speaker 3 (01:11:46):
I said it's time to move on. But people don't
like the heat. But I'm just saying that a lot
of people. I bet you you guys have comments.

Speaker 2 (01:11:55):
We got some comments.

Speaker 3 (01:11:56):
I bet the comments on this, this whole interview.

Speaker 2 (01:12:00):
Yeah, I'm gonna be like, what, No, damn, George, that
was good. You ate that up. What are the comments
gonna be like, No.

Speaker 3 (01:12:11):
Spit it back out, Okay, spit it back out.

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:12:17):
The comments are all gonna be like, that is true
about the dorms.

Speaker 2 (01:12:22):
No, I think it's true. I think it's really genius.
Have you seen Wednesday?

Speaker 4 (01:12:27):
No? Uh, Joe, Joe. I noticed that the murder weapon
spoiler alert is often anti freeze. Have you ever tasted
anti freeze?

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
Yeah? Is it delicious?

Speaker 3 (01:12:44):
Basically, you're coming on me here I'm coming on here. Basically,
I'm coming on here, and you're all saying, hey, why
don't you kill yourself? Which I have had enough.

Speaker 2 (01:12:59):
Oh my god, But this is like you're being a
stereotype of a uh triggered no no college student. We
are asking a question. You're saying, so basically, you want
me to kill myself.

Speaker 3 (01:13:12):
Basically you're saying no. Basically you're saying, oh, I noticed
that there's a bomb in their book. Any interest in
putting a bomb in your own house?

Speaker 2 (01:13:21):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (01:13:22):
Not being sensitive, I think you're asking me to kill myself.

Speaker 4 (01:13:26):
I need to play something.

Speaker 2 (01:13:27):
Okay, oh multimedia.

Speaker 3 (01:13:31):
Teacher, teacher, please kill yourself?

Speaker 2 (01:13:36):
What's that? That's what Joe? You say?

Speaker 4 (01:13:39):
What is no?

Speaker 1 (01:13:40):
You say it?

Speaker 4 (01:13:41):
That's what Joe said that.

Speaker 2 (01:13:42):
We were like in the room, and they were like that.

Speaker 3 (01:13:48):
Every day they would they would hope and pray that
they say, hope and pray, teacher kills himself, rubbing their
little pause together. Teacher, teacher, please kill yourself. Well, here's
some more brownies. Everybody. Anybody want a gift?

Speaker 2 (01:14:08):
None for me, thanks, George. Yeah, he's tired.

Speaker 4 (01:14:15):
Okay, So you make me laugh like no one else is.

Speaker 2 (01:14:20):
So wild over here one of the funniest. No, excuse me,
don't worry, I don't worry.

Speaker 3 (01:14:27):
Don't worry about it.

Speaker 2 (01:14:28):
It's ly difficult for me to give compliments to women.

Speaker 3 (01:14:31):
Yes, okay, I'm so sweaty okay. So basically, basically, basically
I would be in the middle of being like, hey,
here's the what we're doing today, and Sam would go.

Speaker 2 (01:14:45):
Like, it's it's Sam will occasionally have a performative yawn,
it's not performative.

Speaker 4 (01:14:49):
It's not performative. I get sleepy. I'm I'm self diagnosis
and narcoleptic.

Speaker 2 (01:14:53):
Oh that's right, I forgot.

Speaker 3 (01:14:54):
And how do you sneeze?

Speaker 4 (01:14:56):
You a big one?

Speaker 3 (01:14:57):
And how do you peet?

Speaker 4 (01:14:59):
Peas? Pretty much?

Speaker 2 (01:15:05):
No, no, no, no, no, something I found interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:15:10):
No, yeah, sorry, I was keeping going.

Speaker 2 (01:15:15):
I guess I do want to, uh stay a little
more on whether this book is a feminist text, famous
because a big part of the twist is that anti
freeze is seen as a feminine weapon, like poisoning.

Speaker 4 (01:15:34):
Poison.

Speaker 2 (01:15:34):
Yeah, like poisoning is something women do not men, and
the men take advantage of like systemic sexism by basically
having by basically using poison, knowing that the police, and
the detectivele think it was a woman. So I guess
my question for you is, what's a badass woman you

(01:15:57):
look up to? And you can't say Maggie Smith or
Luella Van Horn.

Speaker 3 (01:16:06):
Can I tell you what it seems like when you
just talk to me right now, it was like it
was like, here, honey, honey, I gave you this flower.
I gave you this flower. Here's this flower in a pot.

Speaker 2 (01:16:22):
I mean, I'm being like condescending, no, no, google it,
no good.

Speaker 4 (01:16:27):
You're being like a street sweet sweet person.

Speaker 3 (01:16:30):
Okay, here's his flower in a fresh pot. I put
a fresh dirt on it. And then I'm like, where'd
you get the dirt? And You're like, you're a grave.

Speaker 2 (01:16:49):
It's crazy that there's you're having an interaction that I'm
part of, and then there's this entire undercurrent of this
story you're making up about it that I cannot predict
at all.

Speaker 3 (01:16:59):
You know exactly what it's like. What do you think
this is? What do you think this has been?

Speaker 2 (01:17:05):
Like I gave I gave you a compliment.

Speaker 4 (01:17:09):
I think this has been a really productive conversation about
your creative process.

Speaker 2 (01:17:13):
I think I think anything we're the ones that we're
the ones that keep bringing it back to the book.
You know, often it's the other way around. The celebrity
will be interviewed a celebrity.

Speaker 4 (01:17:22):
This podcast, authors are celebrities, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:17:25):
Nowhere else. So a celebrity will be interviewed and then
the interviewer will be like, so you were spotted with
Brad Pitt, And then the celebrity will be like, I
actually just want to talk about men. You play. It's
about a woman who has a difficult time in the
grocery store because of the pandemic.

Speaker 3 (01:17:41):
Sounds a good book.

Speaker 2 (01:17:42):
Mm hmmmmm. This was a play actually, But and did
change you a book to play?

Speaker 4 (01:17:47):
That was confusing Wait, because we were talking about authors
and then it was like the author.

Speaker 2 (01:17:51):
Of that I actually said celebrity in my story, not author.

Speaker 4 (01:17:55):
Well I changed it.

Speaker 2 (01:17:56):
Oh. My point is usually the interviewer is the one
trying to take the conversation away from the work, and
the celebrity tries to bring back to the work. But
I think Sam and I have done such a good
job of going back to the book, which you see
him in fact not wanting to talk about I want
to talk about it.

Speaker 3 (01:18:13):
Believe me.

Speaker 4 (01:18:15):
What do you want to say about it.

Speaker 3 (01:18:20):
Basically, it's like a great summer.

Speaker 2 (01:18:24):
Read or fall because you know summer's ending soon, but
it's a quick read, so you know there's still time
in the summer for it to be a summer reader.
That's true. Well, it's not that quick, that's true, especially
if we get the big version. It would takes so
long to read the big version, entire turning those giant pages.

Speaker 3 (01:18:50):
First of all, okay, first of all, here's how this
should go. It's been going no, no, no, here's how
this should go. Okay, the lean to all that from
before done.

Speaker 2 (01:19:04):
Okay, Hey George.

Speaker 3 (01:19:08):
Nice to see you again. Sam, what's that babe? Okay, okay.
So then it's like then it's like they're like, do
you have a book?

Speaker 2 (01:19:15):
So yeah, great impression of us, by the way, you
think we have little queenie feminine voices.

Speaker 3 (01:19:23):
First of all, I used my masculine voice.

Speaker 2 (01:19:26):
You think this is what we sound like? Hi, Will,
high grace. I'm trying that's you. That's who you think
we are.

Speaker 3 (01:19:32):
I had never trying to bait, I mean get baited.

Speaker 2 (01:19:38):
Uh huh. That makes one of us, Okay, who he's.

Speaker 3 (01:19:44):
He's obsess he's obsessed. Okay, So basically, basically, here's the thing.

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
Mm hmm, here's you go again with basically, let's hope
you'll land this one. Really cool that you brought a book.

Speaker 3 (01:20:03):
They're really cool that thanks for giving us this book.

Speaker 2 (01:20:06):
So you think we're like straight acting because we're self
hating gays and we wanna we want to see Mike masculine.
Is that what you think?

Speaker 3 (01:20:14):
Sam? That was really flattering impression, wasn't it.

Speaker 4 (01:20:17):
I thought that was really flattering. Thank you for that.

Speaker 2 (01:20:19):
Okay, so tell us how is it gonna.

Speaker 3 (01:20:21):
Go impressions aside. I'll just be neutral.

Speaker 2 (01:20:25):
Uh huh. Yeah, So you think we stand for nothing.
We've never vote, We've never voted in an election. We're
just like centrists. I hope, I hope Biden goes back
into the race.

Speaker 3 (01:20:36):
Honestly, I don't know if you're staying away from sugar
and carbs or what's happening. Okay, I noticed that George
was ripped when I got here. Sam, I'd be shocked
if you weren't ripped as well.

Speaker 2 (01:20:52):
So I'm not ripped.

Speaker 3 (01:20:53):
I would be shocked to find that out. Both of
you are slee honest, steaming rocket to the top. But
but I just want to warn you that there are

(01:21:16):
monsters drag get it down.

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:21:20):
I didn't notice there was an anti fame sentiment in
the book.

Speaker 2 (01:21:24):
Yeah, And actually that is something we wanted to talk
to you about. Is like, is this book you having
been inside the Hollywood Beast. You know you're a head
you know, head writer these big shows.

Speaker 4 (01:21:38):
You've met people that would literally kill to be on TV.

Speaker 2 (01:21:42):
On Jeffrey Epstein's Island post cancelations, you're the only ones
still going. People are like, no one lives here anymore.
You say, I'm ready to hard No, And so then
you're writing this that hire about all everything you've seen. Yes,

(01:22:02):
a satire, it's a satire of the entertainment industry. No.

Speaker 3 (01:22:05):
But and I just want to say that I wrote
this before I did work with I did work with
Sophie Buttle who's who? Yes, yes, And I worked with
Taylor Tomlinson and Taylor and Sophie are to I would say,
two of the most villainist characters in the book. But
that has no relation. I wrote the book before I
met them.

Speaker 2 (01:22:25):
Uh, Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:22:28):
I just wanted to get that clear.

Speaker 4 (01:22:30):
So we did not accuse you of that.

Speaker 2 (01:22:32):
No, But I also don't think Sophie's villainous. I think
Sophie is just like.

Speaker 4 (01:22:36):
Yeah, she seems kind of neutral.

Speaker 2 (01:22:38):
Yeah, and she's also sort of like I think, honestly,
like she seems mousey.

Speaker 3 (01:22:45):
What Sophie de Plaza, She's.

Speaker 2 (01:22:50):
Sort of like, she doesn't seem to have a lot
of people in her life. She on a moment's noticed
she can go cat stid for two weeks. She's like
clearly wanting human interaction. That's why she keeps texting Luela.

Speaker 4 (01:23:04):
And to me it felt like, you know, it felt
like family where it was like, oh, she's mean because
you're so close.

Speaker 2 (01:23:10):
Yeah, you think she's mean, like really mean.

Speaker 3 (01:23:13):
Okay, So I guess what's happening here is that you
guys are kind of on the literary side. Well obviously,
and it's becoming clear to me after my series of
tests that you did a deeper read than I thought.

Speaker 2 (01:23:33):
Well, we're just being respectful.

Speaker 3 (01:23:35):
What if I told you this was all.

Speaker 4 (01:23:36):
A trying to engage with the text, What was all
at most writing the book like a Willy Wonka style thing.

Speaker 3 (01:23:43):
I am tired of you comparing me to Willy Wanka.
That's the last time you're doing it, I feel more.

Speaker 2 (01:23:51):
Once no more Wonka's you don't like compared to anyone.
You don't like being compared to Luela. You don't like
being compared to Willy Wonka.

Speaker 3 (01:23:57):
These are two poor examples. It's like saying, Oh, you
don't like being compared to that squirrel in the ground,
and you don't like being compared do witch.

Speaker 2 (01:24:07):
And you couldn't think of one badass woman that you
look up.

Speaker 3 (01:24:09):
To, and I thought we moved on from that.

Speaker 2 (01:24:12):
You couldn't think of one badass woman. And you think Sophie,
a female character you wrote, is a huge sea word.

Speaker 3 (01:24:18):
I never said.

Speaker 2 (01:24:19):
You said that. I can't repeat it, but you said it.

Speaker 3 (01:24:22):
I never said the sea word A woman I look
up too strong, I would have to say. I would
have to say Viola Davis.

Speaker 2 (01:24:35):
Have you met her? Yeah? Really? What's she like? I?
Where do you meet her? Well?

Speaker 3 (01:24:43):
I got I got a part playing opposite her in the.

Speaker 2 (01:24:47):
TV show What TV show?

Speaker 3 (01:24:51):
It's called The First Lady? Okay?

Speaker 2 (01:24:55):
She plays Michelle Obama.

Speaker 3 (01:24:56):
Yes, And I was supposed to play a high status
character opposite her, and I couldn't really do it, and
I got sequestered several times by the director who kept
telling me to please do better, and then the director
who hates famously hates red lipstick. After pulling me aside

(01:25:17):
ten times to do better, she said, put her in
the red lipstick.

Speaker 2 (01:25:24):
Meaning red lipstick will elevate your performance.

Speaker 3 (01:25:28):
That was her last attempt before she just cut me
all together. I think so. She said put her in
the red lipstick, and all of them knew what that meant.

Speaker 2 (01:25:38):
What was she putting you in red lipsticks so that
she would hate you on screen so that she could
cut you.

Speaker 3 (01:25:45):
I'm not sure, but it was.

Speaker 2 (01:25:47):
It was.

Speaker 3 (01:25:48):
It was one of the worst experiences I've yet to have.
And yes, I'm including working with you, say and our
lunch George, okay.

Speaker 4 (01:26:03):
Interesting so and and Viola was so kindly set and
she was like, it's okay, so nice. That's nice.

Speaker 3 (01:26:13):
She's really much much better at almost everything than I am.
And she was so nice.

Speaker 2 (01:26:18):
So I'm curious about this high status thing. Yeah, yeah,
who are you playing? I was supposed to Angela Merkel? Joe,
be honest, were you playing Angela Merkel? Don't lie?

Speaker 3 (01:26:35):
No, I didn't have the part of Angelo.

Speaker 2 (01:26:38):
Angola Mircle and a bold lip.

Speaker 4 (01:26:42):
Angel if she slayd Angle.

Speaker 2 (01:26:44):
If she slayed is Luela van Horn based on Angela Merkel,
if she's slayd.

Speaker 3 (01:26:51):
I don't even know what frame of mind you all
are in anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:26:55):
Okay, Hillary Clinton, how big a role was this?

Speaker 3 (01:27:01):
This was one scene. Basically I was supposed to be
her chief of staff.

Speaker 2 (01:27:06):
Oh my god, that's big, I know.

Speaker 3 (01:27:08):
And I was supposed to be like dismissive of her,
being like I know how to do this, you don't.
But it was Viola Davis. So what am I supposed
to do? Pretend like acting? I'm not going to be acting.

Speaker 2 (01:27:21):
No, that's not fair. To make your high status against her,
that's not fair. That is crazy. And to make your
high status against a Viola Davis be playing Michelle Obama.

Speaker 3 (01:27:32):
Like can you stand up straight tough? That's tough, tough
because I can't. It turns out. It turns out I can't.

Speaker 2 (01:27:41):
The audition, No, no, no, I didn't.

Speaker 4 (01:27:45):
Was your dad directing it?

Speaker 2 (01:27:47):
JJ? Abrams?

Speaker 3 (01:27:50):
I know you guys think I'm Gracey Abrams, but I'm not. Okay,
I told you this several times, even though I look
it sound like her? What's that sound? She did?

Speaker 1 (01:28:00):
See?

Speaker 2 (01:28:01):
I literally couldn't tell you, I know the one from
the meme. No, no, no, no, no, no, oh yeah, yeah,
oh my god, oh my god, me it was a meme.

Speaker 3 (01:28:17):
Gosh, you guys really do like mean culture.

Speaker 2 (01:28:21):
How dare you accuse us of liking meme culture? Everything
we every meme we have been exposed to, has been
against our will.

Speaker 4 (01:28:29):
This is one of Joe's big things that she would
accuse the room of being obsessed with meme culture.

Speaker 2 (01:28:33):
But this is a classic. It's because you're not on Instagram,
so you get none of it, and we like get
some of the backwashed from just like residually.

Speaker 4 (01:28:39):
She has a Burner account. It's private and secret.

Speaker 2 (01:28:43):
Are you the one commenting on all our videos?

Speaker 4 (01:28:45):
What Joe and George? You'll know it's her secret account
because it's just Joe Firestone. But like.

Speaker 2 (01:28:53):
With numbers instead of letters, you too, can go kid,
you guys can go on?

Speaker 3 (01:28:59):
Do you go to Why don't you take an early
break and go to dinner? So yeah, it was numbers
instead of letters, and yeah, it is my name, and
I didn't know that. If you're going to burn our account,
you're supposed to make it different.

Speaker 2 (01:29:09):
Can I say something cornhead. I rarely have this sort
of like childlike fomo or like fear of being left
out anymore. But one way in which I wait, oh
my gosh, so unprofessional Joe's headpines just fell clear off
her head. One of the ways in which I do, oh, look,

(01:29:30):
I'm holding it with two hands, and on a review,
people love to go like this. One of the ways
in which I have I don't know fear of being
left out is I have this fear that everyone I
know has al accounts that I don't know about. Yes,

(01:29:52):
because occasionally I do learn about one of them, yeah,
and then I follow, and then I'm like, so this
has been happening this whole time. I know, no one
told me. I know everyone else is just chatting. I know,
and sometimes you know, in our community, Joe, those accounts
will also have full cock. What are your thoughts about that?

Speaker 3 (01:30:19):
If you're talking about a chicken, if you're talking about
the Vaney.

Speaker 2 (01:30:25):
Tube, thetube, ainy tube, Damn, that's nasty. No, that's a
really amazing No. Yeah no, Sam texted me, they all
feel that feeling the rainy tube hit Oh wow, what
would you call it here?

Speaker 3 (01:30:50):
What do you call it? On a day to day basis.
You see one on the street, what do you say
it's called?

Speaker 2 (01:30:56):
If it's on the street, I would say that, uh
maybe penis or maybe maybe maybe.

Speaker 3 (01:31:04):
But if it's inside a house.

Speaker 2 (01:31:07):
Like fucking the house, like a giant Vaney tube sucking.

Speaker 3 (01:31:11):
A house, you all need to get your priority straight. Okay,
I'm talking about if it's inside the.

Speaker 2 (01:31:18):
House, inside my house? Sure is it? Is it mine? Yeah? Again,
it's gonna have to go in ahead and be context
dependent whether it's in or out of the house.

Speaker 3 (01:31:34):
Okay, whatever tube tube, tube to go?

Speaker 2 (01:31:37):
Okay, so I have one tube to go caper, No,
that's chapel.

Speaker 3 (01:31:45):
Oh my mistake.

Speaker 2 (01:31:50):
We're wanting for a full hour. We don't want to
keep you. We don't want to keep you.

Speaker 3 (01:31:54):
Okay, amazing how time flies when you're being viscerated.

Speaker 2 (01:31:58):
What in your dream of this and not being avis rated.
We have been uplifting you this entire time. We've been
promoting your book. We've been singing your praises. We're saying
you're the funniest person we know.

Speaker 4 (01:32:08):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:32:08):
Sam is talking about all the funny things you've been
saying that you refuse to believe are funny. And you
think are professional.

Speaker 4 (01:32:15):
I didn't even tell them about t job.

Speaker 2 (01:32:16):
Jobo. We gave you a platform to talk about acting
alongside Viola Davis, an Academy Award winner.

Speaker 3 (01:32:22):
And I did enjoy that platform.

Speaker 2 (01:32:23):
Yeah, I do think that story is faked. We'll play along, Joe.
Would you like us to ask any other questions about
your book? Yeah? Yeah, Like what do you want us
to ask?

Speaker 4 (01:32:38):
Like?

Speaker 3 (01:32:38):
Maybe like you, what was your favorite?

Speaker 4 (01:32:41):
Like?

Speaker 3 (01:32:42):
What is it evolved?

Speaker 4 (01:32:45):
Okay, what is your favorite? What is it evolved?

Speaker 2 (01:32:48):
That's a great question, Sam, Joe, what do you think?
Feel free to take them one at a time. I
don't like it.

Speaker 3 (01:32:54):
When you repeat exactly what I'm saying what.

Speaker 1 (01:33:02):
I feel it.

Speaker 3 (01:33:03):
So we're on a playground and you all have a
big ball, and I am running to it.

Speaker 2 (01:33:08):
Joe, we have one final question, So what's your take? Huh?
My take? What's your take? Here's a question for you.
What are your three favorite books?

Speaker 4 (01:33:30):
That's a tough one. We'd letterbox now, but for books.

Speaker 3 (01:33:32):
Yeah, okay, I really enjoy The Friend by sec Yes,
but I never remember if the dog dies at the end,
so I'm always hesitanting.

Speaker 2 (01:33:43):
Have you seen the film adaptation? I haven't either. Gosh,
go together. I'm not even kidding.

Speaker 3 (01:33:49):
Actually, okay, that like that maybe the meanest thing ever.
I'm not even joking and not even being said high
or that I would spend time at you freeze.

Speaker 2 (01:34:02):
Okay, the friend what else? This is a really hard
question I read. I thank god we don't have to
answer it.

Speaker 3 (01:34:09):
Literally, Okay, I really like, uh, I really had fun
with with Janice Hallett's the appeal that's written, that's written
in emails and text messages, and it's a mystery about
a fundraiser gone wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:34:30):
Oh my god, I love that. Okay, that one down that's.

Speaker 3 (01:34:33):
Jotted jotted down in the community theater. Oh, that's really okay, Okay,
And I'll have to say, you know what I'll put
up there. I'll put up there The Secret History.

Speaker 2 (01:34:47):
By Donna, great book. We both read that. We both
read that.

Speaker 3 (01:34:50):
You didn't Did you like it?

Speaker 2 (01:34:52):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:34:53):
I had a fun time with it.

Speaker 2 (01:34:54):
You know, there was an aborted adaptation of it. It
was like for years, like in development helmet. It never
had happened. Really, Yeah, can you see it being so good? Yes?
Joe by the rights, Joe by the rights, Joe by
the rights.

Speaker 3 (01:35:09):
I actually don't have a job right now, so I'm
not really And I did just spend accidentally twenty seven
dollars on noodle, So I kind of am in a
place where I need to conserve. Kind of what I'm
put out.

Speaker 2 (01:35:24):
Well, you have to spend money to make money.

Speaker 4 (01:35:26):
That's so true.

Speaker 2 (01:35:28):
Go in debt, Go in debt, Joe. Just go in debt,
Go in debt, take out alone. I'll do it with you.
Let's go in debt.

Speaker 3 (01:35:34):
And I'm not even joking.

Speaker 2 (01:35:37):
And I'm not even joking, to be fair, at that
time he was joking. I was joking, Joe, I'm not
going to go in debt. I'm not like you. I'm
not going to go in debt. I I have savings,
I like take I'm like good with money.

Speaker 3 (01:35:49):
I am nearly forty and I never never have spent
an hour and a half like this.

Speaker 2 (01:35:54):
Spending twenty seven dollars on noodles to me is like nothing.
You know what normally?

Speaker 3 (01:35:59):
Do you know what? Normal? Only my podcast appearances are
like what, Hi, how are you good? Good?

Speaker 2 (01:36:05):
How are you? Sounds riveting? Hi?

Speaker 4 (01:36:12):
HOI? How are you good? Good?

Speaker 2 (01:36:14):
How are you?

Speaker 4 (01:36:20):
You?

Speaker 2 (01:36:20):
All?

Speaker 3 (01:36:21):
You will you all deserve you all deserve a long
break with a rokup?

Speaker 2 (01:36:25):
What what a long break with a rokup?

Speaker 3 (01:36:32):

Speaker 2 (01:36:33):
No, not at all, not even a little.

Speaker 4 (01:36:36):
Do you mean, like like we did watch some TV?

Speaker 2 (01:36:38):
To watch some TV? Yeah? Maybe? Have you been watching
The Hunting Wise, I thought you were.

Speaker 3 (01:36:42):
Going to ask about Gilded Age.

Speaker 2 (01:36:44):
I would never I already know you watched The Gilded Age.

Speaker 3 (01:36:47):
No, I don't watch The Hunting WI. I heard it
was too sexual.

Speaker 2 (01:36:51):
Oh yeah, you're not gonna like that.

Speaker 3 (01:36:52):
I don't like I don't like simulated section.

Speaker 2 (01:36:54):
There was both fucking suck in that show.

Speaker 3 (01:36:56):
I can't watch it. I like it when it's implied
with the cheet with Sheeta you here covering the nipples.

Speaker 4 (01:37:03):
Joe, you don't like sex, and things scare you easily? Right,
you don't like scary.

Speaker 3 (01:37:10):
If if you said those sentences to anyone else, they
would go out of their way to kill you.

Speaker 2 (01:37:17):
You know your mind always goes to murder. No one
would kill you if you ask them if they like
sex or not.

Speaker 3 (01:37:23):
No, he says, you don't like sex, and you're scare easy,
like honestly, like, honestly, that's how I'm supposed to walk around, Joe,
I'm trying to promote a book, and you're going off
saying explicit sentences. You don't like sex, and you're scare easy.

Speaker 2 (01:37:37):
I think what Sam is leading to is it's interesting, Yeah,
that you wrote a book focusing on sex and murder. Yeah,
sex and violence.

Speaker 3 (01:37:45):
Well, I'm glad that both you find it interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:37:48):
But it's important to scare ourselves. Were you scared writing
the book where you like you're like, especially when it's
so giant than the calendar letters?

Speaker 4 (01:38:04):
Your baby shoes were quaking.

Speaker 2 (01:38:07):
You couldn't even got on top of those stairs to escape.
Big back, going left and right.

Speaker 3 (01:38:21):
Well, I can't believe I went to Dumbo for this.

Speaker 2 (01:38:33):
I want to say we've been We could talk to
you for hours, and you're welcome to stay. We're trying
to wrap it up for your sake because we want
to be respectful of your.

Speaker 4 (01:38:42):
But it's hard to wrap it up. I'm feeling I'm
struggling to find an end point.

Speaker 3 (01:38:45):
Okay, I'll give you an end point.

Speaker 4 (01:38:46):
Oh, okay, well you're good at the end, that's what
you do first.

Speaker 2 (01:38:51):
Oh, but that's a good point. And after you do that,
we can just riff.

Speaker 4 (01:38:58):
Joe what's the end.

Speaker 3 (01:39:00):
Okay, So you guys could say something like, oh, I
didn't know my hair was this Okay, So basically you
guys could Okay, you guys could say something like, oh,
I didn't realize what it took to write a book
and to be so and to be into and to
get to get on the same level. Let's just say
something that we want to do that that's a big

(01:39:21):
goal of ours.

Speaker 2 (01:39:23):
Okay, Okay, okay, so we can both say, oh, I
didn't know how hard it was to write a book
and so to get on the same level, let us
all say something that is a goal of ours.

Speaker 3 (01:39:35):
Sure you are not doing a self tape for the role.

Speaker 2 (01:39:40):
Of me, Okay, Sorry, I was doing a self tape
for the role of Michelle Obama's chief of staff, and
I think I absolutely nailed you.

Speaker 4 (01:39:49):
Booked down, get him some red list.

Speaker 2 (01:39:57):
Okay. So what is a goal of ours? We're talking
short term, medium, long term, long term.

Speaker 3 (01:40:01):
Oh my gosh, I am stuck to the chair.

Speaker 2 (01:40:06):
Long Joe.

Speaker 4 (01:40:06):
Okay, I didn't realize how hard it was to write
a book. I'm so impressed that you have put pen
to paper and really done it for self published. You
said I won't take no for an answer. I'm self publishing,
and then eventually they did say yes and real published.
That is really beautiful and I hope to put myself

(01:40:32):
out there in the long term and short term, forever
and ever. Amen.

Speaker 2 (01:40:38):
Amen, Joe, you are quite literally one of my role models.

Speaker 4 (01:40:45):
Joe, You're the funniest person on earth.

Speaker 3 (01:40:47):
You guys are just saying that because I'm twenty years
older than we are, not saying that.

Speaker 2 (01:40:51):
Even if you were twelve years old, I would say, fuck,
I am behind, because that twelve year old is really
funny and talented.

Speaker 3 (01:40:59):
You know what would be wonderfult to not to go
back at some point I would say that maybe when
I by the time I was eighteen or so before,
when I was seventeen, I had my I just took
I took a hormonal birth controlled it. It made it.

Speaker 4 (01:41:17):
Yeah, keep going, please keep going.

Speaker 2 (01:41:19):
This is how I hope this episode would end. Thank
you for bringing it up, by the way, because it's
been the elephant and room the whole time. So when
you were when I.

Speaker 4 (01:41:29):
Was seventeen, you took a hormonal birth control.

Speaker 2 (01:41:34):
Yeah, so far, so good.

Speaker 3 (01:41:36):
It Uh, it made my it made it made my brisk,
grow long.

Speaker 2 (01:41:44):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:41:46):
I just think about when I.

Speaker 2 (01:41:47):
Was trying forward or down both. Oh oh well that's
not long, then that's just big no no, no, no,
trust me. Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:41:56):
So then so basically and then ever since then, the
rest of my body is changed, but they stay long.

Speaker 2 (01:42:03):
And you know it was because of the hormonal birth control.

Speaker 3 (01:42:06):
Yeah, but I think about when I was twelve, I
didn't have this.

Speaker 4 (01:42:10):
Are you sure it wasn't just puberty, right?

Speaker 3 (01:42:12):
No, I don't go through puberty at age seventeen.

Speaker 2 (01:42:15):
Sure, Oh so twelve to seventeen normal boobs? Yeah, starting
seventeen long? What you're saying, Yes, I have to say this.
You're putting us in a trap because for us to
either debunk or agree with this, we would have to
ogle at your body and comment on it, which.

Speaker 4 (01:42:32):
It is complicated.

Speaker 2 (01:42:33):
I don't want to do.

Speaker 4 (01:42:34):
If I were to deflect, I would just say what
and we know I'm not allowed to do that.

Speaker 3 (01:42:39):
Yeah, strap in the summer camp because you're about you
don't need the dbunk. You need to pre bunk.

Speaker 2 (01:42:47):
Prebunk Is that the same as pre comm or no?
So you're raising awareness for birth control and changing.

Speaker 4 (01:42:53):
People's boos can I tell you something.

Speaker 3 (01:42:55):
I try to do callbacks like you.

Speaker 2 (01:42:57):
Will callbacks, callbacks, no cowl backs.

Speaker 4 (01:43:06):
I literally was like, what is she?

Speaker 2 (01:43:07):
Oh got it, it's no cowbacks. We'll have two cower
back shots.

Speaker 3 (01:43:17):
I try to do qullbacks like you all. Okay, I
know you guys have been doing.

Speaker 2 (01:43:22):
I guess my question is, what is the long boobs
calling back to me? It's like an entirely new joke.
I know we're trying to end, and you bring up
a new thing, so now now we suddenly have to
do long boobs.

Speaker 3 (01:43:35):
I was trying to do a callback to two. I'm
not sure.

Speaker 2 (01:43:39):
I so you thought, let me start this story about
long boobs and hopefully it'll lead somewhere that is actually
a thing we've already said.

Speaker 3 (01:43:47):
Improv is so hard. I just wish I could watch it.

Speaker 2 (01:43:51):
Oh yeah, everyone wishes they could watch it. If only
we could all just watch improv, the world will be
so much easier.

Speaker 3 (01:44:00):
It's just like you all kind of have your own
little thing in your all states starting sentences together. You're
doing callbacks, and I just think that it's Oh, is
this supposed to be a toothbrush?

Speaker 2 (01:44:11):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:44:11):
Oh? Basically, basically, I just think that it's really impressive
what you guys do.

Speaker 2 (01:44:20):
Thank you, Thank you, Joe. We think you are so impressive.
We literally are the funniest person on earth. You are.
It's true. We talk about it all the time. Sposed
to be like little lab like you know, you might
call it a cock. Yeah, they're like vainy Vanye tubes,
the old Vany tube.

Speaker 4 (01:44:42):
Everyone go buy Murder on Sex Island. It's an amazing
late summer read or early fall read.

Speaker 2 (01:44:49):
Is that your Chester to Vany tubes? Okay, I get it,
I get it, you get it. Good job, Joe.

Speaker 3 (01:44:59):
I I never want anyone to look at me the
way you just did.

Speaker 2 (01:45:06):
In my defense, what happened is it doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 (01:45:11):
Can I take this home?

Speaker 2 (01:45:13):
Yes, of course, it's for you, Joe say, I'm enjoying
nine am.

Speaker 4 (01:45:20):
Because because of the time difference.

Speaker 2 (01:45:21):
Yeah, okay, it's not a seven hour time difference. That
was a New York versus La joke. Everyone, I'm in La,
so the time is different. Joe. We love you. I
love you too.

Speaker 4 (01:45:41):
Joe. You're the greatest there ever was.

Speaker 2 (01:45:43):
You are literally the greatest ever was. And I have
to say I'm so happy you're back in New York.
Yeah yeah. And if I were to choose between second fuck,
I would say whichever one's the best one, that's the
one I would choice for you. I'm confused about which
one you prefer.

Speaker 4 (01:46:03):
I think her preference was quite clear in the original
reading of which as fuck yeah, Okay, No.

Speaker 3 (01:46:08):
I prefer if you're going to have a candy, I'd
rather shuck it than fuck it.

Speaker 2 (01:46:13):
Well, I didn't know candy was involved. We have to end.
This is crazy, Okay, goodbye, Okay, goodbye podcast and now
want more?

Speaker 10 (01:46:26):
Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month,
discord access, and more by heading to patreon dot com.
Slash Stradio Lab and for all our visual earners. Free
full length video episodes are available on our YouTube now.

Speaker 2 (01:46:39):
Get back to Work.

Speaker 4 (01:46:40):
Stradio Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Speaker 2 (01:46:44):
Created and hosted by George Severis and Sam Taggart.

Speaker 4 (01:46:47):
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Olivia Aguilar,
co produced by by Wang, edited and engineered by Adam Avalos.
Artwork by Michael Failes and Matt Grubb. Theme music by
Ben Kling and

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