"Weaponzing Oral Sex" w/ Aaron Jackson

"Returning champ" (to borrow a straight phrase) Aaron Jackson is back on the "hot seat" (to borrow another straight phrase) to once again bring some disgusting sexual deviance to our normally chaste Christian podcast. Questions include: Is it romantic to give your husband a "free blowjob" coupon for Valentine's Day? Are men who like to please women sexually actually gay and doing diva worship? Can a "hand moment" be just as powerful as full-on oral? Plus: We pitch a brand new reality dating show that will finally put an end to the streaming wars for good.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Podcast starts. Now, what's up everyone in the world? WHOA
you are listening to Stradio Lab. That's right, Welcome George.
How are you doing. I'm coming out of the rubble.
I have dirt and mud all over my face and
naked body. I'm wearing a sort of rag skirt that

(00:42):
I fashioned out of the leftovers of human civilization. I
am in the last of us and I'm having this.
You know, there's a bottle episode and they're gay, and
I am walking around and I'm Lara Croft and I'm
shooting a zombie. Lots of IP because that's right, we're
coming out of We are coming out of a forty
minute technical difficulty bonanza, which, honestly, if technology was really

(01:09):
where it needs to be, we would have been able
to record and release as an episode if we if
we and I you know, I've actually thought about this
a lot, that we should not talk about our technical
difficulties because it's sort of like one of those things
that's like talking about your dreams, like no one actually
wants to hear it, but you think it's interesting. But

(01:29):
despite that, I think this one is so major that
to not address it would be a journalistic malpractice. Yeah,
I mean just the fact, like I actually think forty
minutes of technical difficulties is like up there with like
the longest running technical difficulties someone can have. I would

(01:53):
say it as the longest n event of any kind
can possibly be as forty minutes. I mean, honestly, if
I saw a play was titled forty minutes of Technical Difficulties,
I'd be like, I want to see that play. Like
it's such a significant amount of time that you're like,
there must be some human truth that is uncovered within
this forty minutes. It's like, yes, it's about typical difficulties,
but it's about humanity, of course, I mean one hundred percent.

(02:14):
I do wonder if it's one of those things where
you know, everyone thinks they can make a play about
a dinner party gone wrong, and they're like, oh my god,
genius idea dinner party gone wrong, and then most of
them are actually bad, And I wonder if you know
it's the sort of sort of narcissistic tendency when you're
in the midst of forty minutes of technical difficulties, you're like,
this is about humanity, this is about chosen family, this

(02:37):
is about queer life. This is about it's about trauma, trauma, neoliberalism,
the Obiden era. But yeah, but yeah, when you see
other people having technical difficulties forty minutes or sort of
like can you pick up the pace? Yeah? Yeah, what's
this about, mama? I think you're being up a really

(02:57):
interesting point, which is that, like, actually, plays about dinner
parties are so good when they are good, and obviously
they're bad so often. But it's so unfair that if
I tomorrow were to be like, I actually have this
amazing new idea. Yeah, it's about a dinner party, and
people would people would judge me. People would say, oh,
like all those other bad ones, and I'd say, no,

(03:18):
like one of the good ones. Actually, yeah, And it's
so unfair that people assume you're writing the bad version
of the thing and don't assume, oh, you're gonna do
like one of the good ones. Well, you know what
you have to say when you go into that meeting,
people are gonna you know, it's a dinner party, but
it's about class differences, and then people are gonna throw

(03:39):
up from being excited. It's about class differences. And oh,
of course we address race. Needless to say, we address race.
I thought it was my role to address race. It's
an all white cast, but it's about white guilt. So
in that sense, it is about race. Yeah, because I
want to address race, but I want to stay in
my lane. So it's about white guilt. Yeah, I mean
we're addressing race, We're not like, we're not like delving

(04:00):
deep into it where it is being addressed. Oh you
think white isn't race, Well, that's actually racist. Oh that's
actually racist. Oh so you think white's not a ray
use that's that's actually so racist to think white is
the default and is not raced and class When you
realize that white is raced and classed, that means that
an all white play is political. It is radical. It

(04:20):
is pure satire, raw uncut satire, could not be tamed satire.
And then is saying something very fucking true. Oh my god,
I am honestly like, I feel it's funny to be
like doing the opening thing right now, because we've literally
been doing quote unquote the opening thing for forty four minutes,

(04:42):
and so I have aged my hair. I actually got
a haircut right before this, but now I need another
haircut because of how long my hair has grown, Yeah,
you're looking very like Gandolfie at this point, like it's
all gotten. Yeah, it's actually, it's been so long since
I've eaten. It's been so long since I've eaten that
people are like, what's your secret? Yeah, you're gaunt, you're snatched.

(05:04):
People are like a Ciano's empic. No, actually, I just
have been having technical difficulties for forty minutes. Yeah, you know,
I hear a lot of celebrities are actually like having
technical difficulties for over forty minutes in order to ye
it's actually having technical difficulties. Is like the euphemism in
celebrity circles when someone like loses a mysterious amount of weight.
They're like, oh my god, what is wrong with her? Well,
she was recording a podcast and the mic would not work.

(05:27):
Apparently there's forty minutes, and it's like, oh, well, that
explains why she looks so good. Forty minutes and she
didn't have access the fridge was in the other room,
and she didn't want to unplug the headphone, so she
didn't eat for forty minutes. Oh wow, God, I sort
of think that we can get this dinner party started.
In my opinion, I agree too, because it's, um, what

(05:48):
do you think? Yeah, well, it's chosen family. It's uh,
it's family only it's all white. It's all white. So
in that sense, it's about racing class. So yeah, I
think we should definitely start this commentary off on the
right foot. Yeah, exactly. So give it up for Aaron Jackson. Hi, Aaron,

(06:11):
how did that make you feel? I feel good. You know,
the openings are always really hard because you want to
jump in with some three points from the from the
midpoint of court. Yeah, three pointers, but you can't. You
just have to let that wash over you. Yeah. But
I had a lot of I was a big part
of the technical difficulties was was me. I was a

(06:33):
lot of the journey of it. Well you know, in fact,
it wasn't one hundred. Well know George, it's starting with George.
So this is what happened, is I The first ten minutes,
the first ten minutes were me, and I felt so
guilty because I was like, oh my god, they are
in that zoom and my zoom kept crashing. They're in
the zoom, They're waiting for me, and I am being annoying.

(06:53):
Aaron has a hard out, like I came into it.
As we've learned, he came into our inner party and
I'm short. You know, It's like when you entered inner
party and the host is still sort of wearing slippers
in the kitchen, and you're like, right, right, I did
come twenty minutes late to avoid this. But and then
when I finally did enter the zoom, I realized, oh,

(07:14):
my little zoom thing was a side show for the
main event I wish was Aaron's mic, not work. George
was coming in, you know, whenever he'd you know, the
satellite would choose to let him in to talk to us,
and he'd be frantic and sweating, and the whole time
I was telling Sam like, don't worry, I will have
a huge problem. I always do. And it turned out
to be true. Well, and I was okay, that's okay,

(07:35):
and I was like, oh my god, Aaron is being
so humble, like, you know, one of the most prolific
artists of our generation. And I was like, he is
just like trying to make us comfortable, and he's like, yeah,
my tech always misses up. I thought it was like
wink wink, and then it was like, oh, no, you're
not kidding. Like your tech really does fuck and like

(07:55):
going to Google and looking for the answers and Google's like,
I don't know. A girl, well, well you also did
this thing. You did this thing which is very sort
of astrology adjacent, which as you were like, you know,
I'm one of those girls who always I take my
laptop to the Apple Store and they say, we've never
seen this before. I that's me. I'm always the one
where something doesn't work. I'm like like you're like, I

(08:20):
don't know, is that is that a personality trait? Like
can that be something that comes from within? I don't know,
And maybe it's self fulfilling, but like you know, we're
trying to go through it. It's like pulled on this thing.
It doesn't even say what it's supposed to say. It
doesn't be the thing. No, there were things that were
I would say, it's crazy. It's my lived experience. It's yeah,

(08:43):
I mean it is sort of a version of it's
a tech version of Munchausen. Yeah, you sort of will
it into existence. You think you think you're like I'm
sick and the doctor's like you're not, sweetheart, and you're like, okay,
well then why do I have like a third ear
growing up the Munchausen when they like keep you sick
to know that is Munchausen by proxy, got it? Yeah,

(09:07):
so Munchausen by proxy is like I have a daughter
and I lie to everyone about her being sick. Yeah. Yeah,
and you're like, gently, it's sixth sense where like she's
poisoning her. I mean that was that was murder, but like, yeah, wait,
sixth sense is not about that. Oh wait, there's one
long section where he's like learning to how to deal
with dead people and he goes and helps close their

(09:28):
the ghosts unfinished business of course, and it's what's her
name from from the oct that's who Haley Joel was helping. Yeah.
And then dinner parties. They just wanted to say. I
wanted to bring up the play of august O Sage County.
There's a really good dinner party scene in that. Yes, absolutely,
the whole thing is a dinner party scene, right, well, no,

(09:50):
not the whole thing. It's yeah, I would say it's
actually about family, not about a dinner party and a
dinner party. It's just like within the family there is
a dinner I think also every play is like about
family and that's the same thing. Like, I'm about to
write a play and guess what about family and the
dynamic is complicated. The dynamic is complicated. You better believe

(10:12):
one of them that escaped to an urban center is
going back to the finamal at home they got thoughts.
I guess those Age County is one of those plays that,
although it's of course a classic modern classic, contemporary classic,
all I can think of is Merrill in the trailer

(10:32):
YEA for the film adaptation and Julia Ray I didn't
even see the movie, but them in those wigs is
very like seared into my mind as well. I mean
it really is. It's like, um, it's Meryl being like
he I never want mother. It's sort of her her

(10:54):
big little live Season two acting where they're like, just
go for it, Meryl, just go They sort of I'm
sorry to I'm sorry to say. They sort of stopped
directing Meryl around two thousand and seven. Yeah. Yeah, it's
she's getting carte blanche. Yeah, Meryl unleashed. Um. Yeah, and
actually carte Blanche is also the name of my all

(11:16):
white dinner party play A La carte blanche, A la
carte blanche. Oh wow, wow, well, my technical difficulty was
that my upstairs neighbor kind of throwback started playing guitar
really loud, and while you guys were sort of riffing
it up to text him, you have your number at

(11:39):
this point, Sam, Yet that is the least of our worries. Yeah, honey, honey, honey.
At least that'll give us a soundtrack? What would I give?
What would I give? What would I give? Um? What
would I welcome to? What would I give? Then you

(12:00):
game show? I'm like, okay, snel is calling right now.
They're like, can we have that quaking? I'm putting it
in my packet. Hold on, write that down, write that down. Okay.
So I have a story, which is that my dad
made the craziest joke. Okay, okay, I'm listening. Do you

(12:21):
want to hear it? But yeah, we have to now okay, Okay.
I was sort of I was sort of planning on
leading with this, and then we got carried away. So
I was we were talking in the family chat and
I said, and a friend of mine from high school
she's marrying someone. She's engaged, she has a fiance. And
my dad was like, what does he do? And then
my mom was like, he works at the grocery store,

(12:42):
and my dad was like, what does he do at
the groceriestorem? My mom was like, I don't know, stock shelves.
So then my dad goes, so, would you say he's
shelf employed? Oh my, oh my god, that's genius. And
I was like, that's that is the funniest thing I've
literally ever heard. That's like from the joke, like one
that wasn't one jokes literally and also talk about commentary

(13:03):
on class like to sort of turn that on its head.
He works at the grocery store of stocking shelves. Oh
so he's shelf employed something that, you know, a sort
of a rich entrepreneurial. That's an amazing thing to say.
I'm like, okay, he retired. How do you have time
to think of these kind of clever quips? He is?
He's actually a really, he's actually, um, Adam Sandler, he's

(13:25):
a really. That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, I'm I'm one
of the classic NEPO babies. Well that must be like
really hard your dad making really incredible jokes. I bet
that's a lot of pressure on you. Oh my god,
can I actually tell you something? So I, as Sam knows,

(13:48):
I did a show recently where I it was a small,
sparsely attended show I did not do especially well. It
was one of those down to back to earth moments
where you're like, well, you know, day to day, day
to day. Of course, I think of myself as one
of the top celebrities globally, yes, but then often you know,
you'll do one of these small shows and you'll it'll

(14:08):
bring you right back to early days, as they say
on Love Island. And I was not getting a lot
of laughs, and I did something which truly, I mean
talk about a sign of desperation is I was just like,
I need to say anything, and I this was the
day that my dad texted the jokes. I was like,
I was like, you know what, here's an idea. I'm
gonna do a sort of joke where the bit is

(14:31):
that I am upset my dad is funnier than I am. Yeah,
and so I'm going to tell this story about the
joke my dad told. I tell that joke the way
it gets the only laugh of my set. Wowow he
was he really he ate. Cannot be overstated, he really
he ate And I did attribute it to him. So

(14:53):
I you know, you can't say that I stole jokes
like some people we know, yeah right, yeah. And then
after the show, some came up to me and was
like literally just talking to me about how good my
dad's joke was. She was just like, you know what,
I loved about your dad's joke, like x y Z,
and then she didn't say anything about the rest of
my sef Wow, wow bring being brought down to earth

(15:14):
like that is cruel. I actually think when you have
a successful podcast, and yeah, we have a successful podcast,
we heart I mean there's no way around it completely.
I think you should never be allowed to do a
bad show ever again. Actually, yeah, you know it's so
weird when it's a bomb, it's like what's going on?

(15:37):
It's like I speak with authority constantly, like I don't
think this fits in with my narrative. Yeah, Like a
lot of times, if it is like what are those
sparsely attended and you know you're in like a very
bad room, like the room is actually like a pinball
arcade or something, you're like nobody could kill like that.
This of course I'm bombing. But when it's just like
good old fashioned a theater and you're right on there

(16:01):
and you're like, okay, well this something's up. I don't
bomb anymore. But then the other thing, yes, no, no, no,
of course, And I have so much to say about this.
I wonder if talking about stand up is if our
listeners it's class it's class. It's classics, of course, because

(16:21):
not everyone is a comedian aka wealthy. So. But but
what I wanted to say is, um, the other thing
with you know, doing one of these shows that is
in one of those rooms, which, as you say, is
like impossible. You're like, there's no way anyone who's gonna
do well. I have just seen three people in a
row do poorly. And by the way, this is no
longer about the specifics of this show. If anyone's listening,

(16:42):
I love the two people that hosted, it is not
about them. It's just a general and what a beautiful
and what a beautiful room that was. And I'm actually
getting married there tomorrow and everyone's invited, and yeah, just
add to that the people that come that show. I
just want to say thank you. Yes, no one thinks hosts,

(17:02):
and I want to say, from the bottom of my heart,
thank you, thank you for having me. Um. I look
forward to potentially getting Venmode for the money that they
raised be a bucket. So basically my point is sometimes
you'll do one of these shows and it'll be like,
first after person bombing, you're like, all right, I just

(17:23):
have to basically put in my time. I know I'm
gonna go up there, I know I'm gonna bomb, but
I'm gonna do it like a champ. I'm not gonna
be annoying on stage and be like, wow, you guys
really hate me. I'm not gonna do that. I'm just
gonna do my set and leave. But then what happens
sometimes is suddenly someone goes up and actually does do well,
and then that's the and then you're like, oh, I

(17:45):
see that's a pro like this is and that's when
you brainwatch it. You gaslight yourself into thinking, actually, what
comedy is quote unquote all about is killing in bad rooms. No,
oh wow, that's so I'm about There was actually that's
a different scale. There was a period of my life
where I was the person that was good in those

(18:06):
rooms and it was like not a proud moment because
it was like I was like training myself only for
those rooms, and it was like you need to stop. Yes,
And can I tell you something Sam, Like you need
to think a little bit bigger. Imagine the room is
half full, Like let's let's try to imagine a better world.

(18:26):
Because then I would do like crowded shows and I
would bomb because I wouldn't know how to like speak
more general like to the audience. I would literally point
two people. You need like awkward turtle vibes. You needed cricket.
I needed literally awkward turtle vibes to succeed, and I
needed like for everyone else to be failing for me
to come up and crush. And then it was like yeah,

(18:47):
no no, no, no, no, no no no no no, I
must go forth. I have to go for it. I
need three people to fail. Um yeah, oh god, I
used to. I used to tour with improv of all things,
and you would and like on the same tour, like
one night you'd be in a theater that was like
eight hundred people sold out, they're all happy to be there.

(19:10):
You like absolutely murder destroy and the next day you're
truly in a burger restaurant like in front of a
hockey game, and everyone is like visibly angry that you're
even there. Huh. Yeah, something people don't realize, like the
concept of a ambush show. I think the average list

(19:31):
might not understand what that means. What that means is
that someone starts, quote unquote starts to show a show
that has a lineup every week like a stand up
commenta show that has a lineup every week that they
promote on Instagram or in the olden days, Facebook that
they you know, or the paper they send it around
to the lip in New York, time out in New York,

(19:52):
free and cheap in New York. What's the other one
that's like the list or you know what I mean.
And so you're you know, let's you're booked on the
show your community. You show up, You're like, okay, Like,
where's the back room where we're going to do this show, honey.
Come to find out there is no back room. It
is simply a bar where people are there on dates,
on work, drink events, to having a birthday party, to

(20:15):
have fun, having a drink by them show. And the
premise is simply that the show just starts. It's a nightmare. Yeah,
and it is a double sort of mental illness of
a everyone loses, everyone loses a thinking it's okay to
do that. I'm talking now as the persons starting a
thinking it's okay to do that and be actually treating

(20:39):
the patrons like they're heckling you and being like, can
you guys be quiet? There's a show going on, and
they're like, I'm just at a bar. I'm just at
a bar. I feel that way. You know. You know
what community has this illness in States is the drag community.
Oh at a gay bar, and then like suddenly you're

(21:00):
a drag show and the queen of course wants you
to watch the show, but you're like, I am so
not in the mood to watch a show. Yeah, I
love drag honey every night of the week, but there
are sometimes you're just wanting to have a drink and
talk with your friends and you're like, fuck, we're in
a drag show. And then they are they are mad
at you. You are like now forced, it's like let's leave. Yeah,

(21:21):
that that community has that illness. Yes, the queen, while
performing will be giving you a dirty look while also
just being like and I am telling me ask you.
They also have a thing where like even if you're
there to watch the show, if you get up to
piss that a queen must be like, oh hey going
oh to tuck a Cock's like I'm like, I'm coming back,

(21:45):
this is a ninety minute show. I'm drinking alcohol. I
have to be Yeah. Much like stand up, it's also
part of drag cultures, so it's almost like, yeah, you
have to be okay with it because of course a
queen is going to be a little bitchy and and
of course a comedian is going to be is going
to shut down a heckler. One time, I literally go

(22:08):
viral doing it, of course for the likes well. I
one time literally went into a famed gay bar, Metropolitan,
and it was like a Wednesday evening and there was
like an experimental drag show happening, and I see it's
like pretty well attended and people are paying attention, and
so I'm like meeting someone in the backyard and I
was like, okay, well, I'm just gonna rush through this

(22:29):
and like try not to make a scene and like
let the show go on. And of course I'm like
speed walking through trying to make as little waves as possible,
and the queen starts like chasing me and doing like
a like like thing with her hands on a cross nails.
Literally is like making fun, making fun of me walking quickly,

(22:51):
and it's like, oh my god, like I'm actively trying
to be respectful. I'm just meeting someone for a drink.
Like performer's part of your tribe, baby, I'm part of
your tribe, and I could fucking lift you up with
one retweet. I swear to God, I could change your
life with a single quote tweet and you are disrespecting me.

(23:14):
I'll never share your story. No that no, that mis
legend that I could change your life. Say. The tension
between an LGBT performer and an LGBT audience member can
be cut with a butter knife because basically every every

(23:34):
audience member is like it should be me up there,
and every performer is like fuck you to everyone watching.
Why does no one want to suck me there? Yes, exactly.
There is no solidarity between audience member and is literally
you know like gay Bachelor, where it's like they try
to do gay Bachelor and it's like, well, there's the
gay guy, and all the gay guys are competing for

(23:55):
the gay guy. It's like it doesn't work because there's
no difference, Like the gay guys can just become anyone
can become the Bachelor by just being horny in that moment.
They need to do more, like they need to rethink
that gay Bacher show and do it more like Bachelor
in Paradise, where it's like you can get voted off
at all times for like not being in a couple.
Like that is such a better idea for it, because

(24:16):
it's like that you cannot just have one guy and
have a bitch about the guys, be like I don't
like him, and the person voting anyone off should be
like Kylie Minogue, Like it has to be. It has
to be a completely different dn't No. I would love
it if, like the moment you became unhorny, you got
kicked off the show. Oh yeah, it was like it's

(24:37):
like no, no no, no, it's horny Island. You have you like,
I can't come always get kicked off? Oh my god.
It's literally called edging island, Oh my god. And it's
always the last okay, should it be the last person
who came or the person who hasn't come belongest gets
voted off? That's really hard. That's really hard because it's like,

(25:02):
how do you test if they're not horny. They have
to do challenges to prove their horny, Like they release
a bunch of wet men to wrestle them, prove that
you're a horny. Only a horny person would know what
to do with this. And it's like just an object. Yeah.
And then it's at the end when they're eliminating them,
it's like, Braden, you have been soft the whole time. Yeah,

(25:26):
and he's like, I'm more of a bata take that
flaccid cock. Back to Indiana, and Braden was a fan favorite.
That's of course it was because guess what, the audience
at home doesn't want to sexualize. Yeah, so they liked
the soft one. Yeah, they like the soft one. So
they need to be that this show is sex positive

(25:46):
and horny positive. Yeah, that's sex positive. Okay, well all right,
well I'm called Hulu. I guess I can't believe we
like talked Shop. I think it's it's obviously ghost and
tasteless and shameful and no, but I think it's so
powerful too. Sometimes actually acknowledge that we are comedians agree

(26:08):
um one time, Oh my god, even to ourselves. George,
I don't the coffee is hitting right today. I'm mile
a minute right now. Um, we were out to drinks
recently with two dear friends who will be on the
return to the podcast in like a week or two.
Oh my god, yes, wait, I know exactly what you're

(26:30):
And we were out and this girl came up to
us and she was like, pointed to the two guests
and was like, oh, you guys are comedians, right, and
they were like yeah. And then she pointed to us
and was like and you guys are our podcasters, right,
And my jaw I literally left and was sad. I

(26:50):
was like, sad, I just want to say, Sam is
not exaggerating or ratatorializing. That was worked forward what was
said and then but then Sam, you you missed the
final part of that, which is she's like, you guys
are comedians, right, They're like, yeah, you guys are podcasters.
Were like yeah, and then she goes, well keep doing
what you're doing. It was like not. It was at
no point she wasn't like I think you're funny. Did

(27:13):
she say like I'm a fan, I love your work,
or like I've listened to the comedians either did she
comment or yeah either, No, that's so weird. She just
wanted us to know that we were being watched. She
was literally like, just know that I know you. It's
very like it's sick. Well, it's also strange because then
you're like, so, then, how do you did you pass by?

(27:35):
Maybe she was at a bar where one of us
was at one of these shows and she left immediately
but did clockily we're on stage, well, be so weird.
The implication is then that she did see us and
has listened to us and just didn't really like it
that much. I think that's what the takeaway is. But
she told you to keep going right, So that's really nice.
She's like, work on it, babes. Yeah, keep the work.

(27:58):
Oh god, I want to talk shit right now so bad.
I can't please. Is there a way to do it?
We can sleep up names? No, it's just like just
like so many names. It would just be like, okay
from four replace the names with like celebrities. Oh my god. No,
it'd be really be It's just hard. It's hard to

(28:20):
get this. Okay. Wait. Another thing that happened to all
of us. The three of us, we were also with
um comedian and non podcaster Josh Sharpe in La and
we were all there for all four of us were
there having drinks after work, and then was it the
woman that came up to us? No? No, the guy guy,
the gay friends. The gay friend comes, Yes, that's it.

(28:42):
The gay friend comes up to us and he's like hey,
And we totally thought he was about to do something
like that, like are you guys comedians or something? And
then oh, I thought he was going to hit on us.
Not to be conceited. Oh, I truly thought he was
going to be like, you know, like a podcast, Yeah,
one of those, Um, yeah, I heard of them. But
what did he say to Josh? Well, he said to

(29:05):
Josh he was like, are you single? And Josh was
like right, right, no. But then it became clear the
twist was that he was coming on behalf of his
straight woman friend to ask Josh out heterosexually. He was
wing manning, he was sexual. He was a game man
wing manning a straight woman going to a group of

(29:26):
a group of gay guys. Sorry, the vibe was literally
the vibe was so gay. The vibe was so gay.
We all had her legs crossed around our our our
our other, like literally like five times each. We were
like miss elastic feather boas half in and half out
of our teather boa we looked like Harry's style, Harry's

(29:47):
styles in Paris's Burden. Yeah yeah, each of us had
a full look from the Gucci look book head to boe.
And we were just going around being like, well, was
the last time you saw cock? Yeah? This morning? You
just now in the bathroom, mama, mama girl. I just
couldn't believe it. And then that he and then it

(30:09):
was like, does he think we're all straight? Or is
like is it like Josh is clearly out with his
three gay brothers, three gay friends, and that's right, and
that's how we know he's like sensitive, three gay identical brothers.
Oh my god. But also the fact that it was like,
it's one thing for a woman, let's say, to let's
say a woman who doesn't have a lot of gay

(30:30):
friends to misinterpret, but for the gay guy. This is
a gay guy who is looking at us all night
and he's like eyeing us, and he's like, which one
is right for Marcy? And he's like that one. As
we are literally like artists are literally double jointed, the
way they are moving up and down, the strings dropped

(30:52):
so gay like Pinocchio, We're all public. I would love
if the reveal was that, like, act, actually he is straight,
and we all are just assuming that he is gay,
but actually he's like no, straight guys can be really
effeminate too, you know, like just like you guys like
that straight like you guys just maybe that was it.

(31:15):
Maybe that was it in straight you know. That's one
of the big differences between New York and LA. In
New York, gay guys exist in LA. They don't. Well
in LA. Yeah, in LA, weirdly, gay guys are straight, yeah,
and straight guys are gay. There's a weird thing going
on there. It's like Europe, you just can't tell. Yeah, yeah,

(31:36):
it's just so different. So yeah, Europe, Europe without the
burden of all the museums hello, hello, wow, the burden Yeah,
with the burden of intellectualism. Um no, no, they have
the bro yeah, which they have the Academy Museum. Yeah.

(31:56):
You can touch Judy Garland's Oscar juvenile Oscar her juvenile
What does that mean? Well, she was a child. She
won a smaller Oscar and it was like best juvenile
performance for the Wizard of Oz. Yeah. Oh, I didn't
know they had that. And then and then when they
force fed her pills, they would hit her up or
the head of it. Wow, well dark Sorry, okay, so

(32:23):
our first second is called straight shooter. We went there,
We went there. Sorry, Yeah, that was wild. I want
to I do want to apologize to our listeners. We
you come to this podcast to hear something specifically that
does not go there, and that has been one of
the central tenants of this podcast is that we do
not go there, and I think we have failed in

(32:45):
our mission. Yeah. Sorry, we let our guard down for
a single second. Yeah, it's not who we are probably
talking about Judy Garland's juvenile oscar. When that guy came
up and tried to ask if we were straight. Yeah,
he was like he was like eavesdropping and he was like,
Judy Garland juvenile, Okay, he's straight, He's straight, super straight.
That's a straight my girl out. Well. It was also

(33:12):
funny because he was like, are you single, and then
Josh was like no, and then we all at the
same time, We're like, we're all both partnered and gay,
and he was like got it, got it? Wow wow,
And it just goes to show you, you know, you
can be out and you can think that you're being gay,
but you can always gay it up more. That's the lesson.

(33:33):
That's the lesson. Yeah, we think we're living out loud,
but actually we're still in the closet in many ways, humiliated, ashamed.
It's whatever, it's insane, we should do our first segment. Whatever. Yeah,
by the way, we're all offended, and that was not
like a fun story. We are. We are deeply angry
about it, and we are in the process of a

(33:55):
major lawsuit with both the City of Los Angeles and
that one gay I'm actually surprised that and even the
no go for it, no go ahead? Oh okay, no,
it's too God, it's awesome, but it's klawan, no say it?
Were you gonna say? Even the bar? I was gonna say,
even the guy's girlfriend. Oh yeah, well she's she's suspect

(34:16):
number one in this case. I'm worried about her taste. Yeah, yeah,
so I have to litigate. Oh you're worried about her
taste because she was attracted to your comedy partners. Oh
my god, of course not. Um it was that she
would be into any of us. Yeah, oh yeah, I
mean it definitely is like she needs to do some
internal work. She needs to. Like it's like she's like,

(34:39):
no guy's ever into me, and it's like, no girl,
every guy you think it's straight, it's like literally the
gayest person on earth, Like, yeah, you're literally hitting on
Troy some like, let's go back to the drawing board.
Oh Troy. True? Then I don't know he'll be back though,
maybe he'll come back up a bear. Yeah, he'll be
back in an upcoming episode of Stradio that. Let's do

(35:11):
our first segment. Okay, Aaron, Our first segment is called
straight Shooter, isn't. In this segment, we test your familiarity
with and complicity in straight culture by asking you a
series of rapid fire questions where you have to choose
this thing or that thing and none of them make
any sense. And the one rule is you can't ask
any follow up questions. Okay, great, Okay, Aaron, Sam take

(35:35):
it away, Aaron Ron a half pipe a quarter pounder
or an eighth a halfpipe? Aaron, Happy birthday, mister president.
Or you're a mean one, mister grinch. I think you're
a mean one, mister granch Aaron, if you know you know?

(35:57):
Or how low can you go? How low can you go? Aaron,
the boy who cried wolf? Or this girl is on fire? Um,
this girl is on fire, Aaron, slip and slide, wet
and wild or hot and heavy? Um um, wet and wild.

(36:19):
Oh Aaron, I need you to pay attention to this one. Okay,
being the bassist for Nirvana or being a racist at
the sauna, being the basis for Nirvana? Okay, Aaron, doctor

(36:43):
who professor? What? Or officer? Huh's a officer? Huh? And
finally Aaron Angela Ba said, did the thing or Viola Davis?
My woman came Viola Davis woman? Okay, slay slay. Wait,

(37:04):
so can I ask the question now that it's done. No, No,
because we have not scored you yet and I think
that you get a score of nine hundred and thirty
two doves out of a thousands. Yeah, okay, now you
can ask a question. Well, I was just I guess

(37:24):
I was just wondering, so I was picking to me
what I thought the straightest answer was, Yeah, is that
what I was supposed to do? Well, So obviously you're
thinking about it wrong. This is a this is a test.
It's sort of like, um, it's about how someone approaches

(37:46):
it rather than any sort of rules. So we want
to see confidence, we want to see playfulness, we want
to see um evolution from the first to the last question.
We want to see a narrative, and we also want
to see someone make their own rules, develop them, adhere
to a certain consistency, and then break them. Yeah, you

(38:07):
gotta break the form. Yeah. Hello. And you know, a
lot of I'll say it, these comedy types they come
in here and they're like, oh, how can I win?
You know, Oh how can I be right? And it's
like it's competive, Yeah, can I get on a list? Yeah,
it's like vulture vulture here. Yeah, it's vulture here. And
it's like, no, that's you're completely missing the point if

(38:29):
that is the case. And honestly, it makes me sad.
It makes me questions sort of all the artistic choices
you've made leading up to this moment. Totally. Yeah, they've
been brainwashed by you know, just for laughs. You know,
they think they're going to get new faces, yea. And
what we're looking for is interesting places, yeah, or even
old ones or even old ones. And it's also the

(38:50):
difference between playing a game, you know, and and and
having a performance. You know, this is it's uh say,
it's a difference between playing a game and being played
by the game. Oh no, yeah, something about that seems wrong.

(39:11):
It's very calculated. I'm coming at this like a villainy
shoot shoot, dang it, dang Aaron, I sort of. I'm
I'm very interested in the topic of it you brought
in because I have resisted. I have resisted asking, uh,
you know, callback to the concept to follow up questions.
I resisted asking a follow up question when you mentioned

(39:33):
what it was, and I just sort of trusted you
that it's going to be a slay and a half. Well,
I'm sure it won't. Well before you induce it, I
want to say someone out with that attitude I thought
was funny. Something I thought was funny about this topic
is that before you said that, you were like, well,
people have probably already done this, and for you to
think this is obvious. So yeah, I was sort of like, oh,

(39:55):
is it going to be baseball or with it? I
was like, oh, is it gonna say like brads and like, okay, fraternities.
Fraternity is right? You have to now say what the
topic is, please, Okay, So my subject, my stubdic about
strict culture is um, straight couples weaponizing oral sex. That's

(40:19):
what I brought to the tape. So to me already,
I'm thinking, you know, a Valentine's Day gift that's like
one free blowjob. You're sort of like, well, on his birthday,
that's exactly it. It's um. Yes, it's very like. I'll
hang out with good straight friends that are in long

(40:40):
term relationships and people will be like, they'll say something like, oh,
it's his birthday is coming up, He's gonna want a blowjob.
I have to give him one. And I'm like, you
only give one blowjob a year? Yeah, that is very
shocking to me. And then that it is, and it
is a gift that you give, and it fully like

(41:01):
I hate this, Yeah, I don't want to do this
and for that to not be for that to not
be a turn off for the man I know. But
then God, but and then also I do believe women
and that they should like um. They I think they
get oral sex a lot like before sex, like a

(41:23):
warm up, because it's you know, like preparation. They receive
oral should they receive oral sex before um like penetrative badge?
And I do think that some men like to give
it to them. But I think sometimes it is like
I have to give her the oral sex so then
I can have the penetrative So even that is like
a it's alway, it's always a it's always a weapon.

(41:45):
It's all. It feels like nobody is wanting to do it.
I know that's not true. I know there are people
parties on both sides that love oral sex in the
straight world, but I'm surprised by how I find that
to be common and oral sex is like a thing
for them. I find I find so straight. I feel

(42:06):
like gay people don't have that. There argue people that
are like I don't care about oral sex, but it's
it's never like weaponized. I feel like, well, also, oral
sex is part of this very straight concept of four play,
which is like it would never occur to me to
delineate between four play and the main event. And it's

(42:27):
like sometimes, yeah, it's like sometimes you do one thing,
then you do the other, then you go back to
the first thing. Sometimes you only do the first thing,
sometimes you only do the second thing. It's not necessarily
always the best when you do the most things or
waiting or it's like I'm not skipping something because I
you know, it's just like sometimes I'm in the mood
for one thing, sometimes I'm in the mood for another thing.

(42:47):
But there's a sort of it's like, well, okay, is
everyone in their places action? Yeah, And it's like, so
is it always the same? I do feel like porn
like starts a lot as like making out, and then
it's like we trade blow jobs or just the top
gets a blowjob and then the top like eats the
bottom out and then there's anal and like that's how
it goes. But it's like, that's not how a sex always.

(43:09):
It's not always that narrative and oral sex to me
is sex, but not like I don't understand like third base,
like oral is third base and then the home run
is penetrated, like oh my god, the base is okay, wait,
so what are the bases? First base is feeling up,
making out. I think that second base. I think first

(43:30):
base is kissing. First base is kissing then then filling
up potentially moment hand moments. I like the idea of
Sam Sam being um, you know, or me, or someone
being a closet a teenager and trying to get a
hand drop from a girl and being like, how about
a handbot. Should we do a moment with the hand?

(43:51):
Should we do a hand moment? Maybe we could start
with a hand moment and move it up, move it down. Yeah,
I think at base being a hand moment is more advanced.
That's more like adults. But I think, like when you're
calling me a horror, no, I just think it's more
like adults. I think when in high school, I think
just boobs is like second base. Touching boobs Okay, okay, yeah,

(44:15):
touching boobs then or moral, then penetrated, and then home
run of course penetry. Oh my god is a grand
slam group groups. Now we're getting adult, were getting an adult.
So wait, I have a sort of small addition to

(44:37):
the straight role of sex conversation, which is there is
a famous, or to me famous storyline in the Sopranos
where there's this guy do you know what I'm gonna say, Sam,
This guy like likes going down on women. He is
a straight man who likes going down on women, And
like one of the women he was with like spills

(44:58):
the tea to someone, and so then there is this
like rumor that, oh he even likes going down on women,
and that's like a gay thing. So it's literally like
it's the idea that you would want to pleasure a
woman is like, what are you a fag? Yeah, And
that's like the entire and someone ends up being murdered
because of this because he is so humiliated. Well um

(45:19):
to your soprano's point, um uh notable Italian nick nanny.
He I was asking him about that plot line because
I was like, there's like that's not real, right, And
he was like no, like older guys, like people like
my uncle's would like be like it's gay to eat
pussy like and I was like, Oh, that's what I mean.

(45:41):
That's what I'm saying. It's like it's weaponized. It's it's
like the oral is so weird for them in a
way that like penetrative is that No, it's they're like, oh,
you're going down on a woman? What are you? What
are you friends with a woman? Are you willing grace
so you don't want to suck her? So you don't
want to suck her? Oh what are you? Standford Blatch
from Sex in the City, So you're literally buried in
her genitals and you're gay like like, oh, what is

(46:04):
she your diva. Oh is she your? Is she the
pop star you like the most that you stand the
juvenile oscar? Are you feeding her pills? Um? Yeah, okay, yeah,
a few one. I think it's it's like, you know,

(46:25):
gay people don't like put penetrative ads like the number
one thing always. You know, some do, but a lot don't.
So there's like so that is like we're a stream
people that is sex and for you know, some have
progressed to not think of that as the only kind
of sex, but a lot don't couple, and so we

(46:46):
have that. Um. I was gonna say, there's something about
you know how I like to appropriate street culture sometimes
and I can find it erotic and it can be
kind of fun. There's something a little bit hot about
the weaponizing of oral sex where it's like it's almost
like a role playing Like the idea of like giving

(47:06):
the gift of sex is like very kind of hot
to me. Well, I think there's like weirdly like gay kink,
like like, um, I'm thinking and I guess straight people
do this too, but I'm just not as much a
part of their culture. But like chastity cages on like
a dick where you're like you're not allowed to come,
like you're my lot, Like I'll tell you when you
can come. Fag it. You know that feels like that.

(47:27):
That feels like sex to me as well. But but
you're not like, um, I won't get I'll only give
you a blow job on your birthday. It's like I'll
never give you a blowjob that and that makes But
that's the thing is that that makes you horny. Yeah,
but with a straight example, it's not like that guy
is like thinking about it all year long, turned on

(47:47):
like oh yeah, not getting one tonight either, Right, Yeah,
if straight people were on horny Island, edging Island, they
would all get eliminated very quickly. Bad TV. Wait, Edging
Island really is genius because it is real. It's reformulating
like the priorities it is, right. The thing with all

(48:11):
these like gay versions of straight shows is that they
are inherently much like gay marriage, attempting to emulate something
that is matt first right approval. And the thing with
this is that you're like is that you're like, Okay,
what are gay let's what are gay value gay trashy
values like in the same way that straight trashy values
are like, you know, women falling over themselves drunk to uh,

(48:34):
you know, go on a date with someone who works
in advertising. Then what are like gay trashy values? And
it's like, well everyone being horny and taking their cocks out.
So if you just reform it as like, rather than
trying to get a date with someone, it's about whether
you're heart or soft. And I like that being like
the only the only way to tell us. No, it's

(48:57):
it's not hard. Get off the damn island. They're like,
I'm more of a bottom. Well sorry, sweets the hell
out of here. Yeah, that's what someone on horny would say.
You're eliminated, oh edging island. So, Aaron, you've never weaponized

(49:27):
m oral sex. I don't, I think. So I'm happy
to give or receive it almost anytime. Yeah, I guess same,
yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay.
So to recap, like in this world, it's like women

(49:52):
hate or hate giving oral sex and do it once
a year as a gift. Men see nothing wrong with
that and are like, yeah, do it. I know you
don't like it, right, Like, I know you hate this,
but it's my birthday. Yeah, And then men either give
oral sex because for self serving ends, because of what

(50:13):
it will lead to, or if they like doing it,
they're getting shame. Yeah yeah, gay gay panic. Yeah, it's
sort of like, well you sort of understand how um,
how we got drump when you run the numbers. This
is not this is not a healthy electorate by any means.

(50:34):
They're not getting blown or eaten out to the extent
that they biologically need to. Um. Yeah, and they're not
doing it with gusto. That's for damn sure no yea
perfunctory oral. That's really sad. Yeah, perfunctory oral is really sad.
You're like, let's just let's call it. Yeah, we don't

(50:56):
need to be here. Yeah, if you're not gonna have
fun with it, then like don't do it at all.
It's like skip skip it. Like it's like going to
a restaurant, Like you're gonna be cranky at the fucking
fanciest restaurant and like not order a drink or like
not get an appetizer, like don't go Like yeah, you're
literally the fancies restaurant. You're ordering a burger and you're like,

(51:19):
I don't know, I'll have the burger and like that's it, Like,
just don't go to the restaurant. Yeah, that's fine. Stay
at home, stay at home, dust the jerk off pig,
jerk off jerk off pig. I'll allow it tonight. Oh
my god, I guess it is funny. How to Sam's

(51:42):
point about like fetishizing almost like the depressing parts of
straight sex. Like all I can think of other things
where it's like a classic scene in a movie in
like an indie sun dance movie where you're supposed to
be like, oh, these people are fucked, is like a
wife sleeping and a guy silently jerking off like next her.
That's like, oh no, this is grit. The marriage is over. Yeah. Yeah.

(52:08):
And then if it's a gay couple, it's like oh hot, Yeah,
it's like, oh this is really sexy. What the hell
is going on? It's it's like the end of the movie.
It's like really yeah, it's like, oh my god, happily
ever after that bros should have ended. Yeah that's true. Wow, Wow, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing,

(52:30):
I mean amazing. I'm trying to think if there's any
other angle to weaponized oral sex that we're missing. Let's see,
you mean, like using it like like actually is a weapon,
like a mass shooter. But it's right exactly, That's what
I mean. That's that's how Edging Island. It's like instead

(52:52):
of like like there's like a challenge or like somebody
it's like really good at oral sex. It's on the island.
It's completely insatiable, bottomless throat. Wait, finish that, finish that challenge.
So imagining like someone who's imagine like a swiper, no swiping. Yeah,

(53:18):
they're like you have to like shoo them away, you're
so horny, but you have to literally be like get
out of here, no, get out. Yeah. Well it's sort
of like a first person shooter, a first person shooter
video game, but it's like a cock and it's going
around and I forget as in as many mouths as bossible. Yeah,
maybe that's it. Maybe because I was gonna say, like,
if you're if you're the if you're the dick in

(53:40):
the situation, and and the throat is the challenge, you
just are not supposed to come. You're supposed to like
take as much oral as you can forever, and then
you're like I'm still horny. Or is it that there's
like an ever hard cock. You all have to the
cock sucker and you're like, I could, I could suck
this dick forever. It's really hard to know. Yeah, yeah,

(54:01):
and actually that's what the challenge. That's what the challenge
is called hard to know. Wow wow swiper no swiping,
oral no orally. I'm almost imagining it, like Alipa is
going to have a field day with that one when
she induces brow. She's British. Yeah, she like does it

(54:28):
out of it. She does it just because she loves
the gig. She's getting paid nothing. She doesn't have the
kindness of her heart is volunteer. Like I love my
gay fans. Today, like all days, you will be very horny. Wait,
they must have made a show like back in the Highlight,

(54:49):
or like a porn parody of like America's Next Top Bottom,
Like they must have done that. Oh, I'm sure, I'm
sure you have to believe it. You have to. I
mean too, was it too hot to handle? Is that
the one where like you actually did get kicked off
the island if you had sex, like they actually have
gotten pretty close to the show already, yeah, or like
the one that was really old like back in the

(55:11):
early Survivor days like well obviously be very new. I
think was there one called Temptation Island and it was
like you went with your spouse or your partner or whatever,
and then like a hot like girl or boy came
and like tried to fuck you, and you like, if
you fucked, you lost, You're They're like always in a
hot tub. This isn't turning that comes upon its head

(55:32):
because in our show, you'll be punished for not being horny. Yeah,
you have to maintain. I mean, it's like an endurance
game where you have to it doesn't matter. You're not
like punished for having sex or for releasing, but you
just have to maintain. You have to plan ahead and
maintain a consistent level of horningness, and if you go
under a certain threshold, you will be voted off. Do
you think somebody like um, you know, like deep in

(55:53):
the game, someone's doing really really well and then like
like in Survivor, like someone searches their bags and finds
a bunch of viac grah and they're like, we have
to get rid of him. He's cheating. He's not really
that horny, he's just presenting hard. But internally I know
he's not horny. Wow, for sure, that has certainly something

(56:17):
to think about. I think TV is such a beautiful medium. Um,
it's so nice that we can express ourselves. It's a
great way for storytelling. Um. I like how long every
story is on TV? Yeah, seasons, Yeah, some stories are short,
but on TV they're long, which I think is so cool.
It's so this is so boring, but it is so

(56:40):
funny that people are like a movie that's so long,
and it's like, no, the story is done in two hours. Literally,
Like that's you get the whole thing. It's like actually
quite short compared to how we like to consume now,
like eighteen hour stories that aren't even done after eighteen
hours two next year, where he continues, when I think

(57:01):
about the fact that they just like they did literally
just figure out TV, And like the seventies through the nineties,
it was like half hour episodes for comedy, like hour
long episodes for drama, and you tuned in every week
and you saw it and nothing was wrong with it.
Everyone liked it. And then suddenly people were like, we
have to reinvent this again and again and again, and
actually everything needs to be like an hour and a
half long, and each of them needs to be a

(57:23):
different tour and nothing gets resolved, and it is based
on an article. Yeah, TV's over. We've said it once,
We've said a million times. TV is literally could not
be more over. Yeah it had it had its time. Yeah, yeah,
it did it? Did it? God? I missed the nineties. Yeah,

(57:44):
it had its time the nineties. Mama sign fell. Look
it up, children, it's an in show from the nineties.
Oh my god. I think we've covered a lot in

(58:09):
this episode. We've shown that once again, straight culture and
gay culture are very different and never the two shall Yeah,
and we have shown that TV is dead but could
be saved by a little show called Edging Island. Land
of okay it should be you're okay, it's Edging Island,

(58:32):
but everyone on it isn't like based on a character
from sinnflf so, but only the four main But like
again and again and again, I think you could even yeah, exactly,
or you could even expand it to just like everyone
has to come and stay in character as a pop
culture figure. So it's just all gay guys, all gay

(58:54):
BFA graduates, and they come and one of them is
Valerie Cherish, like one of them is uh, you know,
Karen Walker, a housewife, a housewife blue Anela SEPs. Yeah.
This is great because I can see people being like, well,
why would I ever apply to be on the show,
And it's like, well, because when you get to be
horny for eight weeks straight, yeah yeah. And second of all,

(59:16):
one word exposure, exposure, sweetheart, you get to show up
your acting chops while being horny. Yeah, it's like snatch
Game for eight meets. It's yeah, it's snatch game meets
pornography essentially. Quite quite frankly, I also love thinking that
there's not enough to the show. Have you know a

(59:39):
blowjob challenge and they're like, you need something else? A
hook of course. Yeah, yeah, you're pitching it. You're pitching
it to the bruster and you're like, okay. So it's
like a school Shooter, but with the cocks and blow
jobs completely at the censure. The cocks are out, everyone's
counting everywhere, and the theme is school Shooter. And then
a person's like, hold on, didn't they do that in cheers?

(01:00:01):
We need one more thing? And someone's dressed this dressed
this Reba back and tire. Yeah, yeah, wow it it's there.
I think it's there. It's close. Yeah, No, I mean
it really And I'd say, I know initially this this

(01:00:24):
is sort of a joke to have them in character,
but it will add so much when people I'm not
joking and these people are doing challenges where they have
to remain hard for as long as possible. They're dressed
as my partner, I mean as Poladine. No, this is
so layered. I think this good. I mean I think

(01:00:45):
this will actually come back around and be like a
show that like kind of changes the landscape, gets a
lot of awards. And also, can I say one thing
to circle back to something we said about gay performers
versus gay audience members, like the tension inherently lie is
in not being able to sexualize the level to which
you are able to sexualize the person that is on stage.

(01:01:07):
If you sexualize them too much, you can't take them
seriously as a performer. If you don't sexualize them enough,
then they're dehumanized. So this solves that by by being
explicitly sexual there is full on penetration on screen while
people are doing a character. Yeah. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Wow.
That's why when I do, when I do stand up.

(01:01:29):
We're a really short skirt. Yeah, like they can laugh
at on my amazing jokes and then they can sexualize
me because my cheeks are hanging out. Yeah. That horse
cock is falling beneath the skirt. Yeah yeah. And it's
so short, your cock is literally showing underneath correct by yeah,
by a lot. Yeah, every time you perform. It doesn't

(01:01:50):
even cover my pubic hair. It's like that short. It's
more of a belt, really belt, you can say your bottomless.
It's just a pretty belt. It's just a really really
pretty belt. I mean, I don't know what else to say.
Should we do our final segment? I guess I'm having

(01:02:10):
so much fun. No, I wish we could have a cocktail.
Being so nasty today we are being really there's always
time for a cocktail. It's gonna do wait did you know?
And this is totally fine, but I think it's I
celebrate her life choices. But missus Cosha Davis is now sober,
that's her catch. Oh so she can't Oh no, no,

(01:02:32):
there's always time for a mocktail. Well, honestly, that could
be a huge, you know, advertising campaign for her or something. Yeah,
that'd be huge for her. I just think it's really funny.
When we had Love the Drag Queen and she showed
us this video that's like Cosha Davis has this song
where the lyrics are like kill yourself with love and
kindness or something, but she pauses after kill yourself. So

(01:02:54):
if you take out that clip, it's just her saying
kill y'allself. That's great. Yeah, yeah, wow, So what's the
rest of your day? Like, just give the listeners a
peek into a day of Aaron Jackson comedy star. What
a minute. I have actually a really like easy breezy day,

(01:03:16):
which is kind of fun. So I don't I don't
really know what I'm gonna do. I've been very very
social lately that we're recording this in the month of February,
which is usually a time of hibernation. Yeah, but the
weather in New York has been quite warm, unseasonably warm
for February, so I would say, I don't know why,
But the past couple of weeks I feel as almost

(01:03:36):
as though I have like as busy as summer socializing,
which I do think is too much socializing, but I
like to do it in the summer totally. But I'm like,
I can't keep this up through spring and summer because
this is usually the time where you recharge. Yeah, hibernate, hibernate,
It's really true. That is really true. And not to again,
not to sort of talk about the weather, but it

(01:03:57):
is like it really throws off the bands of things. Yeah,
and I'll still go out, of course when it's cold
for like whatever, somebody's birthday or something like that. But
it does feel like every night I'm like, oh, well,
I'm doing something. I have a plan, I'm going somewhere.
I'm seeing friends, I'm meeting friends, I'm making connections. I'm
thinking an amazing time. And that's why she has longevity,

(01:04:21):
because she's out there networking, she's rubbing shoulders, she is
getting in with people who are movers and shakers around
New York City, acting the dots Burrow by Burrow. And
then you know what, when they have a big movie out,
they say, oh that Aaron Jackson was amazing at that
cocktail hour. Well, oh my god, she has to start
in my film. She's abody has to start in my film.

(01:04:45):
The most scintillating conversation over martinis, who's that elusive girl?
Who was it that was pitching Edging Island, elusive girl
whose cock was swinging out of her little skirt, her
skirt belt and stop talking to me about Edging Island.
Who is a Canadian whose cock was swinging under her skirt?

(01:05:08):
Who is pitching Edging Island in the middle of February,
in the middle of February, from bar to bar, always
holding a cocktail. I want them to start my august
Osage County remate. I'm working on a play. It's about
family at dinner, no less, and she must star, she
must start. In fact, what are you doing? She's a character? Well,

(01:05:32):
I'm having George has a plan. I'm gonna hit the gym,
and then of course I'm gonna go to I think
I might go bowling. Actually where I'm sorry, Sam Excu,
I went bowling a couple of months ago. Sam, George,
please tell the listeners and Aaron you hate bowling. Contextualize

(01:05:52):
my reaction, Just Aaron, Sam, please contextualize my reaction. George
texted me yesterday saying I want to go bowling, and
then now you're like, good idea, that's manipulative and you're
going without me. My brothers suggested that that's this is

(01:06:12):
why you're gonna be so good on Edging Island if
you're creating drops. I cannot believe, like the idea that
I've never talked about bowling in my entire life. And
yesterday I was I had an urge. I was like,
you know, I was like, this sounds crazy, and I
techna I was like, okay, this is gonna sound insane.
But I sort of him in the mood to go
bowling sometime soon. And Sam was like, ha ha oh no, yeah,

(01:06:34):
I said, let's do it, and let's make a Patreon
episode about it. That's a capitalist right there. Yeah, and
then he said that way we can expense it. So
that was actually and bowling is expensive in this town.
I'll tell you that. In this town. I mean the
real estate. Yeah yeah, because you can find a real
bowling place. It's all like ironic performance art. It's like,

(01:06:55):
you know, you go there and there's a photo booth
and you have to hold a sign that's like I
love bowling, question mark. You have to hold a sign
that says this is a joke. Wow. I was at
a bowling alley in Williamsburg. I think, and like I
just wanted a picture. I feel like when you bowl,
you get like a picture of shitty beer. Yeah, the gutter. Yeah,

(01:07:16):
maybe the gutter. And they only had like nice beer,
which is lovely when you just want a cup. But
I'm like, I need like Madelo in this thing. Yeah,
I don't like good old bowling beer. I don't need
like a you know, a sour No god, no, no,
I don't need I don't need a flight no, honey,
big old picture of something bad. What are you doing tonight?

(01:07:39):
Not bowling? Well, I am, in fact attending uh Natalie
Rotter Lightman's solo show at Union Hall, supporting the arts
as a friend and colleague. I'm supporting the arts, and
yes I'm getting in for free, but my butt is
going to be on one of those chairs, George, and
you're loud, lass, and I got that loud, that loud,

(01:08:00):
but that that sort of my butt cheeks clap, clap,
clap on the chair. Yeah, that's awesome, that's really awesome. Well,
I love so fun, Thank you, thank you. Yeah, I'm excited.
And then I might be getting a drink with Alison Liby.
So I'm supporting the arts and I'm supporting artists outside

(01:08:20):
of the arts. In fact, that's Alison Liby is one
of the most fun people in the world to Oh
my god, she is an insane shit tucker. It is.
It is Googenheim level shit talk. Wow. Yeah, wow, I can't. Yeah,
you are going up that spiral Guggenheim staircase. You're going

(01:08:41):
down that. She is, I would say, a sort of
master of the craft. A master of the craft. And
I would almost say, in her own way of fran
Lebowitz type completely, you know, she's sort of She also,
much like fran has A, has a sort of classic look.
She always wears a sort of perfectly perfectly fitted high
waisted jean and an expensive cardigan or sweater or something,

(01:09:06):
and then the glasses. The hair is beautiful, and like
fran Leewoods, it's like has A, it's like always has
an incisive point. So even about something that you think
is like, oh I really like flowers, She's like, well
and I love it. Wow, well wow, I mean that
was I love that. This is a new segment. Actually

(01:09:26):
it's called what are You Doing Tonight? It's called what
are you doing later? Are you doing later tonight? Oh?
I actually sort of like that as a there was
actually something to it because I think, you know, it
lets people in, you know. Yeah, and it's nice to
get bring us back down to earth after doing a
full pitch deck for Edging Island. Yeah, that's what this

(01:09:46):
whole hour and a half was. Yeah, um, well, Sam,
would you like to introduce our final segment? I would, Aaron.
Our final segment is called shout Outs, and in this
we pay homage to the Grand Street tradition of the
radio shout out, and we just shout out to anything
that we are enjoying. Imagine it's two thousand and one,
you're at TRL at Times Square shouting out to your
squad back home, but about anything that you like. And

(01:10:09):
I have one that's actually based on my shout out
from last week. I have a sequel. Well, it's all
about existing. I pay these days. Hello all, I'm not existing,
I pe and it'll be so important so that people
will now be like, well, I can't listen to this
episode and till this in the previous episode, so obviously
our smarmers are going up from that. Yeah. By the way,
previous episode of Emmy Blochnick literally one of the best

(01:10:31):
episodes we have ever recorded. And if you haven't listened
to it. In the words of our peers, seek treatment,
and the words of our peers last culture, ASA's Kid,
And in the words of our peers why from New
York and Saturday Night, whoa Wow? That was good. And
in the words of Miss Casha Davis kill yourself. Um okay,

(01:10:59):
here I go. What's up everybody, from the freaks to
the pervs to the losers. I want to give a
huge shout out too. The song I Believe by Caroline Policick.
Oh baby, if you know me, you know I've been
in a musical slump. And yes, we already talked about
can I Politick last week, but the album is out
and today I was walking from the train after a

(01:11:21):
delightful little lunch with a dear friend and I Believe
I Caroline politiic came on my damn phone and I
was like, I'm in heaven. I listened to that song
and it was as if I was hearing stupid love
for the first time, way back when it was as
if I was hearing those those Charlie XCX songs from
Crash that were making me feel so excited. I heard

(01:11:42):
I Believe, and I said, I feel spring, I feel summer.
I feel the future. I feel brightness, I feel like
I feel joy. And I said, I can't wait to
fucking see people again and be fun and I can't
wait for leaves to appear on the trees. Time is moving,
we are growing, we are changing, and music is back.
And yes, I listened to the Khalila album now and
I like it. And I'm listening to other stuff I'm seeing.

(01:12:05):
I'm feeling joy once again. We have found it, girls,
we have found it. Drill baby, Drill, we have found oil.
It is new music. Whoo wow, who wow, that's really good. Um,
you know I actually did we actually introduce what the
segment is? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I said it's child Imagine

(01:12:28):
it's two thousand and one is TRL and you are
ye time Please don't mock me. Wow? Did I just so?
I think I think I not to over use a
cliche term. I think I dissociated. I think I'm in
a khole. I think all the k I've been doing
during the recording of this episode is finally hitting. You
were like, I wish we had a cocktail. Um. Wow.

(01:12:53):
I am sorry to accuse you Sam of not introducing
the segment. I really it's okay. Sometimes the k hits yeah, yeah,
that feeling. Um, you know, actually mine is also music related. Um, okay,
what's up? Girls, guys, gays, lesbians, everybody under the LGBTQ

(01:13:16):
plus umbrella and even outside of it. I want to
give a shout out, to get a shout out to
the album, the album Lived Through This, by whole this.
This is an album I discovered probably when I was
you know, twelve thirteen whatever. I would say, come back
to it approximately once every three months, and but recently

(01:13:38):
and each time, by the way, it is more powerful
each time, I say, with more gusto. Kurtneilo is the
most important musician of our time. She is more talented
than Kurt Cobain. She is more in talented than anyone
who has ever picked up a guitar, and she has
a better songwriter than anyone working today. And Live Through
This is a perfect album. From the first note to
the last note. It is a series of perfect song

(01:14:00):
It is a series of perfect lyrics, perfect sentences, and
perfect perfect Every single person is doing exactly what they
need to be doing. That has never happened before or after.
And I recently sort of got back into the spirit
of things because Courtney herself posted an episode of a
podcast called sixty Songs that Explain the Nineties, and this

(01:14:21):
specific episode was about the song Doll Parts. I lived
through this and then I sort of got to listening
to it again, listening to it again, and it is.
It gives me life, It gives me joy. It makes
me believe in art again, It makes me believe in
music again, and it makes me believe and women who
who wow, so nice, have faith restorted women? Yeah, I

(01:14:47):
mean amazing, as people know, I haven't. I haven't sort
of believed in or respected women in many years, many years.
That's sort of your whole act. Yeah, yeah, it's deeply
it's weird. It's weird that you bombed the other night, Like, yeah,
people love that, people love that kind of stuff. It
was weird. Yeah, it was strange because I was performing

(01:15:07):
in the Vagina Monologues and my whole step how I
hate women. Yeah, yeah, I was so jealous when you
got to open for the Vagina monologue. Yeah. You know,
they usually don't have an opener, it's just a series
of monologues, but this time they thought they wanted to
stand up. They wanted to stand up. Maybe like instead
of opening stand up shows with like another stand up,

(01:15:29):
we should invite people to put on like ten minute
plays to warm the crowd up. Yeah eventually, um yeah,
but just a one act play. Yeah yeah, Like you know,
maybe about a dinner party. Hello, at least the appetizer course.
Come on, yeah, you better come to that rest. You
better come to a dinner party. Hope, did you get
an app? Not? Like, don't be a grouch. Like, if

(01:15:51):
you're not getting an app, you're not doing drag, You're
not doing d Whenever you are ready, go ahead and
hit us with it. Hi, Hi, Hi, yay, it's time square,
and I'm doing everything for you, guys. I love the
people of the earth. I'd like to shout out something

(01:16:11):
that I didn't really know about, Like I say, knew about,
but I had really enjoyed thoroughly of people making YouTube grandma.
People editing whole seasons of reality television on YouTube into
short ter chunks, like editing a whole season of a
show into three hours instead of the however, been me.

(01:16:34):
I just watched season one of Australian Survivor in three
hours and it's twenty eight episodes, but they just edited
it down into exactly everything you needed to know because
someone told me was good. I really like The American Survivor.
They're like, this is better, and I was like, I
can't watch a whole fucking season of reality TV. That
makes me sick. Someone just edited it down to the

(01:16:58):
size of a long movie. And I really appreciated it
and thought it was fun and a good way to
consume reality TV, which shouldn't even be consuming anyway, so
why not faster? I appreciated it. I liked it. I
thought that was a lot of work. Somebody sipped it
through this whole season of TV and made it sure,
so anyway, good for that person. And I realized they've

(01:17:20):
done it with things like Big Brother and many other
shows which are too intimidating to me to start, and
I think maybe now I will consume them in this
really weird way. Oh wow, so it didn't lose any
of it's like, I'm sure it did, but I didn't
know they wouldn't know. Wow, Well, I love that. Like,

(01:17:43):
sometimes it would truly just be like, um, you know,
you'd be dealing with something that ended up being like
kind of important to the story, and then it would
just suddenly be like, oh, and then whatever Sam's voted
out and you would like learn nothing about it. It It
was like, oh, I guess Sam didn't really matter to
the narrative. And then it would go on to the
like the next episode and wow wow, but it was
like it was kind of fun. Well, I love that.

(01:18:04):
I didn't know people were doing that. That's great. I
actually I didn't know people were doing that either. Thank
you for raising awareness. Thank you, Aaron, Thank you Aaron.
They should do that for Let me tell you something,
most streaming shows, oh truly like that almost every TV show.
At the end of it, ask yourself, would that have
been better as a movie? And almost always the answer

(01:18:27):
is yes. Yeah. Well first ask yourself, would that have
been better if it didn't exist? Well? Yes, yes, yes,
straight up that of course that of course. Wow yeah,
all right, well slay. Thanks Aaron for doing our podcast again.
It was such an honor and a thrill to have
you back. Thanks for having me. Did I do the
first one? Was that? Like right before COVID who did

(01:18:49):
like one of the Yes, it was right before COVID
one of the famous first six I want to say
episodes that we recorded in bulk before COVID Yeah studio
that we then started releasing in March or April of
twenty twenty, because I do feel like it was pre COVID,
but when we were there talking it was like this
COVID thing is gonna be a big deal, right, Like
it was like that close to that era. I feel all, yeah,

(01:19:12):
those episodes, I'm afraid to listen to them. Oh I
never I know, I said, like dumb shit. I also know.
I literally was probably like, yeah, COVID is not gonna
happen whatever. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Anyway, Well, thanks for
having me back, you too, our delight. It was a dream.
We can't wait to heavy back a third time. Wow.
Yeah hat trick Yeah yeah tomorrow. I hope you're free.

(01:19:34):
It's giving a hat trick. It's giving hat trick fish stupid.
All right, Well okay, bye, bye, bye forever