10 Terribly Bungled Crimes

Ten terribly bungled crimes throughout history are explored, such as drug deals gone wrong. Find out which ones are at the top of the list for Josh and Chuck in this HowStuffWorks podcast.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera.
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(00:20):
and resolves online fraud safe Secure Visa. Hi, and welcome
to the podcast. Josh and Chuck Here Josh Clark and
Charles Bryant, Paris, staff writers for How Stuff Works dot Com.
What up, Chuck? What up? Josh? How's it going? It's
going good man, t G. I f we record these
on Friday. People might not know that. It's a great
way to finish out our week. And I'm happy to

(00:42):
be here. So Chuck here. Telling me about a video
you saw it recently? Uh, something about a guy falling
through the ceiling. Did you see that on YouTube? I did.
I saw it on the YouTube. It's it's a really
good one. It's a bungled crime. This guy was robbing
a liquor store and he snuck in and they had
video cameras outside that captured him going in through the
roof and then a video capture inside this showed this

(01:05):
guy falling through the ceiling. Was there a star wipe
when they went from camera? They should have done that,
but he fell through the ceiling, and um, you know,
I was gathering up some cash or whatever he could find,
and then he realized that he couldn't get out, so
then and you know it's it's a timelap steal. It
shows him over time, he gets a ladder and he
puts the ladder in there, and then he can't. He's
it's still too high to get back through. And then

(01:26):
the last shot of this video is a classic. It
shows this guy, uh, basically just sit down and smoke
a cigarette until the cops come. That's beautiful. Yeah, Chuck
always has the best viral videos. He's always sending stuff out,
you know, to everybody, to everyone's delight. But you know,
that guy sitting there with a smoking a cigarette, waiting,
you know, resigned to his fate, waiting for the cops

(01:47):
to show up, reminds me of an article I wrote
called the ten Terribly Bungled Crimes. Right. These are great,
they really are. I think everyone likes hearing stories, kind
of like the Darwin Awards, except of the criminal nature.
That's exactly right. Um, Now, you know there's plenty of great,
great heights that were pulled off, right, like Luftons. I
know you're a good Fellas fan, right, Yeah, and that

(02:08):
was Jimmy right, the liftonsa highest which was in I
think like five eight million bucks. Yeah, And I went
on to uh the Department of Labor, Department of Statistics,
one of the one of them has a website inflation calculator,
and I calculated it. There was still there was twenty
million dollars in two thousand eight dollars, which is nothing

(02:29):
compared to what some guys did in two thousand and six.
And Great Britain. I think they made off with ninety
two million dollars. And I don't think all of them
were caught either. That's that's a quite a heist. So
these are like at the high end of the spectrum.
They're in like the ultra violet range down in the
We'll say, yellows, right, are are the ones in this
article ten terribly bungled crimes? Less? These folks, Yeah, they're

(02:53):
just trying to to commit a crime and like everyone else,
and it's just not working exactly and what what do
you suspect is the reason why people engage in in
these horribly bungled crimes. My my personal theories that unless
you're a career criminal, unless you're one of those guys
who pulls off a luftanza heist or in ninety two
million dollar take or whatever, um, you're you're basically just lazy,

(03:15):
which is why you're a criminal. I think most criminal
acts are basically in a statement of laziness, trying to
get something for nothing. So I mean like if if
you're if you're just a burglar or whatever, and you're
so so burglar hasn't been caught, you're generally lazy. If
you are a bungling burglar, then you're the laziest of
the laziest. You're incompetent, right, you're so lazy you don't

(03:38):
even commit crimes regularly. Exactly. Well, I think we should
dive right in and talk about some of these incompetent people. Yeah,
we'll talk about Chuck, what's your favorite out of these
ten buggle crimes? And before warned, we don't have time
to go over all ten, but you can read it
on how stuff works dot com. Well, my favorite. Actually,
I'll I'll give you my second favorite. We my my

(03:58):
second favorite is this uh Atlanta, I'm sorry, not Atlanta,
but Rochelle, Georgia. Woman, man, you took mine. Yeah, this
is a good one. She bought some crack cocaine, which
is a drug that people smoke to feel better about
themselves and their surroundings. Right, and so she stole this
crack and got home lit up, and I think she

(04:19):
found out that it wasn't cracked. She thought it wasn't cracked,
right because there was nothing happening. So, uh, the smart lady.
We're not gonna say her name, you know, I don't
think we can't. Well, it's in the article. Uh she called.
She called the cops to come over to her house
and help her get her money back for her drug purchase. Yeah,
and the police showed up and they said thanks, thanks

(04:40):
for the easy caller. Right. Yeah, so that was that
was my second favorite. I like that one too. That
one's all right. I'll go with my second favorite then,
because actually that was my first choke. Um. My my
second favorite was the guy in Miami who was driving
through an unnamed uh fast food chain. This is my

(05:01):
favorite one. Awesome I got you back. Yes, okay. So, um,
this guy is driving through it seems late at night.
I don't know if he was on anything or drunk,
or just maybe in a really bad mood. Um, he
ordered some food. It came to like seven dollars and
forty one cents or something like that. And when the
person told him through the little box that that's how

(05:22):
much it costs, he clearly told them that he was
not going to pay more than dollars seventy five number one.
Apparently that's all he thought it was worth. Number two. Coincidentally,
that's all he had on him. So I love that
this guy just thought that's all it's worth. You should
only break even here on this transacting. I'm not even
sure if that's breaking even with the you know, food

(05:42):
costs these days. I think it would have been very
much tilted in his favor. Don't kid yourself. I bet
a number six is really worth about seventy five cents. Yeah,
you're you're probably right, Sorry, Chuck com I get naive sometimes.
So the back to the story. The guy, uh, the
guy who decides that, um, he's not gonna pay more
than dollars five. He tells him that they tell him no,

(06:03):
you know, sorry, Bob. You know. They go back to
putting the burger or whatever under the heat lamp, and
he drives off, but he doesn't drive very far. He
drives into a parking space. This is where he gets
good and he um. He runs up to the drive
through window on foot and brandishes a weapon when they
come to the window, and he tells them that he
wants their money. And apparently these were the baddest fast

(06:28):
food employees around because they turn them down again, and
in retaliation, just to save some face, the guy grabs
a handful of catchup packets and runs off peels off
into the Miami night. Uh yeah, so that one was
That was my second favorite, tied tied with the woman
from Rochelle, Georgia who wanted the police to get her

(06:49):
money back for the crack. Right, that's a good one.
And you know, since you stole my favorite, I guess
I'll just I'll pick out another one here. Um the
guy in Phoenix, Arizona on the on the police chase. Yes,
Oh he's good. I can understand his pain. Actually, he
robbed a bank and a lot of bank robbers in here,
and not very skilled bank robbers, and he was on
a in a high pursuit, high speed pursuit by the cops,

(07:09):
and uh decided to make a little detour and get
a pack of smokes. So he whips it in a
convenience store, goes in and actually tries to pay for him,
which is kind of cool. He robbed a bank, but
he won't robb the community stord. He tried to give
him a twenty, like, here's twenty, just give me the
package cigarette, and the guy gave him the pack of smokes.
He went and jumped back in his car, and the
chase resumed as if it was in the Yeah, the

(07:31):
clerk apparently said he saw the guy drive off, and
like thirty seconds later, this horde of police just driving past,
and he figured out what was going on. Tell him
the absolute worst part of that story, chuck cigarettes to kill. No,
even worse than that. When they pulled the guy, or
when they finally caught the guy, the pack of cigarettes
was unopened. Hadn't even had a chance to smoke one

(07:53):
of the cigarettes, and chances are you would have been
caught anyway. But this, but at the very least he
could have had a last cigarette exactly because you know,
contrary to what they teach you on OZ, you can't
smoke in prison. I thought they were, Uh, no, you're
you're not supposed to smoke cigarettes and presents against the rules. Yeah,
so um, you know, Chuck. There were a couple that
didn't make it in here. They bordered on the line

(08:15):
of urban legend um that I wanted to share that
I couldn't get really good source, uh, sources to site
to back back these stories up, which you kind of
need when you're when you're writing about these outlandish crimes. Uh.
For one, the best source I could get was a
it looked like some sort of monthly newsletter of a
sheriff's department in Missouri or something. And I couldn't find

(08:39):
any other verification for it. But I had heard it elsewhere.
Um that a guy in Michigan supposedly goes into a
convenience store robber right, um, and he is really drunk.
He tells them that he wants all of their money
and they say no, he didn't have a weapon, he
didn't have a note even. He was just this loud,

(08:59):
bullurgerent guy. And he told the I think a parent
clerks that he was going to call the cops if
they didn't give him the money. So he calls the cops,
and the cops show up and arrest him on the spot.
But backfired, Yeah, backfired terribly. And I think this guy
was too drunk to even resign himself to his fate.
And you know, sit down and smoke a cigarette. Yeah,

(09:20):
you know, guy's like that should get a break. I agree.
I agree at the very least, not a baton to
the head. But you should read all about this stuff.
We haven't even correct the service what we talked about
like three maybe at least seven more for you to
go read and ten terribly bungled crimes on how stuff
works dot com and stick around to find out what
Star Wars character poses as a dr pepper bottle on

(09:41):
the how stuff Works site. Right after this stuff you
should know is brought to you by Visa. We all
have things to think about, like say, what's the best
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(10:01):
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safe secure visa? So, Chuck, do you know the answer? Answer?
I do not know. Well, I can tell you it's
not Yoda. Weirdo. That was terrible. By the way, that

(10:22):
wasn't Yoda. Oh well, I don't know what was that Chewbacca.
I just had a frog in my throat? Oh who
who was it? That? It was? Me? Okay, well the
answer is Lando Calorisian. Yeah, that's what I hear, very
ably played by one Mr Billy Dee Williams. Yes, um,
now it's Lando. Dr Pepper is the character's name. There's
a video on how stuff Works site. It's a very

(10:44):
little known video. Um, and you can find that video
embedded in how the One Man Star Wars Trilogy Works.
I'm not even get to go any further in explaining it.
You just need to see everything for yourself. Is so awesome.
Go type in how the One Man Star Wars Trilogy
works on how stuff works dot com. You will not
be disappointed. For more on this and thousands of other topics,

(11:06):
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